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Nothing feels worth it anymore. It's like, what's the point?
Why are people going about the day when life is all just pointless?
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depression
|
I'm just wondering if I'm alone here. My depression seemed to have just, started, a year and a half ago when I was diagnosed by my doctor. I've been on meds since then and have been back and forth with a counselor.
I just don't get it. I never really seemed to have problems before. Without going into details, I had a personal relationship that I screwed up badly and tried to repair. Things didn't work out. I ended up losing my job from it. That's when everything went wrong mentally, emotionally, and physically.
I feel like sleeping all the time, I have very low energy. I went through a spell where I thought I was going to harm myself, but I got scared. To this day, I never feel motivated or like doing much of anything. I don't like being around my family, doing any of the hobbies I used to enjoy. Like, it literally takes effort to do something like, put a movie on, but minutes later I shut it off, unable to be engaged in it. In the past year I've gained a lot of weight, close to 70 pounds. I've never been anywhere close to this weight in my entire life. I ruminate over and over on the mistakes made through that relationship. It's in my thoughts 24/7, and I constantly have bad dreams about it.
I know I'm rambling, but I keep wondering if I'm alone here. Does depression sometimes just, happen? All of this is real, like I can't shut it off. But I just I don't understand how a normal, healthy person can get like this.
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depression
|
I have dealt with pocd this so long i try to let groinal responses be there and accept the toughts but they won’t go away what can I do?
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OCD
|
I've been struggling with what I found through a NOCD article, is termed "Race OCD". I constantly worry that I'm being perceived as racist. I'm white, I consider myself to be an ally of BIPOC and to work on being anti-racist. Lately though, I get hit with a ton of intrusive thoughts about coming across as racist when I speak to a BIPOC, which causes anxiety, which my anxiety probably then appears racist to the other person. I can't imagine what BIPOC have to endure on a daily basis just because of their skin color, so I'm not trying to make this about me. I'm just wondering if I'm alone in this or if other people struggle with this OCD theme. To be honest, it's pretty severe and it's attacking my core, because this "theme" feels opposite to what I value (being an ally, fighting to be anti-racist & dismantle racism) & who I am. I can tell that other people notice I'm anxious, and I just hate that I'm displaying nervousness because im sure it makes the other person uncomfortable.
I know I'm coming off as anxious to other people. I know it because I'm trying so hard not to be perceived as racist, to get the interaction "right", that interactions just get weird, anxiety filled & awkward & I'm sure the other person is like wtf, this person is a racist. I don't know how to stop getting so lost in my head. I've tried to tell myself "Maybe I am a sick, racist human being, oh well", but that doesn't help because I don't agree with that statement.
I hate that interacting with BIPOC has become a trigger for me & that my anxiety is probably making people uncomfortable & they see me as a racist. I feel awful. I hate appearing anxious to other people, & them thinking I'm racist because I'm anxious.
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OCD
|
Thankfully i get good night of sleep, but i usually wake up at 3 to 5 in the morning, were i feel like shit remunating while having a blander of emotions (guilt, hornyness, sad, depressed, anxious)..
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OCD
|
Hey guys, so I was on Instagram and I saw someone tell a person that is suffering from mental illness that they need to get over it and stop acting like a bum. It made me so made I made a video on my YouTube channel talking about the situation and the stigma around mental health.
https://youtu.be/oDBdj3jsZqQ
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ptsd
|
People probably already know this but Vitamin D is a hormone and it affects mood. I take 10,000 units and I’ve noticed a difference. A lot of people are vitamin D deficient especially if you live in the cold like me.
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depression
|
Now my OCD is sooooo bad and acting up. What I said was stupid (not horrible just a little insensitive and could be perceived a little racist but I’m not!!!) No one was around but my fam (they didn’t notice it). But now I’m afraid someone got it on camera and recorded me because I was outside (no people were around). Now I’m afraid I’ll lose my job because of my insensitive comment Bc I’ll be viral with my comment. Then, no one will hire me and I’ll be poor forever.
I hate myself for doing that stupid joke. It wasn’t even funny. It was lame. I’m a horrible person. I’m a better person than that. Ugh 😭😭😭
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OCD
|
I got diagnosed with ADHD-pi a few weeks ago and my psych and I talked about starting meds. I wanted to start at a low dose, personally. I didn’t think my ADHD was “that bad” so surely I wouldn’t need a high dose.
I was given a trial 14 day count of Adderall 10mg IR. First couple of days, not bad. But man was I getting really irritable after about 4 hours of taking it when it would start to wear off. And I am not an irritable person by any means.
Sent my psych an email and she sent in a script for 15mg XR.
While I was waiting for my pharmacy to fill it, I kept taking my IR and I would take another dose when I felt myself getting irritable. It kicked in after an hour and I’d be relatively okay.
Then this last weekend, still taking the 10mg IR because my pharmacy is…slow, my anxiety was abnormally high?? I haven’t had anxiety like that in…probably over a year. Depression is usually what I’m fighting against and not anxiety.
Finally my 15mg XR was ready on Sunday and I took it today. The anxiety isn’t overly present, but still there. But man. I am having very intrusive irritable thoughts and I am just so aware that they are awful thoughts and so unlike me. (For example, wanting to beat my dog for barking?? I have *never* thought about laying a hand on my dog)
Since today was only my first day of 15mg XR I’m hoping this will pass, but I gotta say I’m not having a good time.
I have an appointment with my psych Dec 2nd for my usual medication management appointment.
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ADHD
|
every time I have to perform well (like on a test or whatever), I’m always resistant to taking my meds bc I get scared that I’ll do worse with them
not really sure why but my brain is like we did alright before!! (lies)
also I just don’t love my meds rn (mydayis ppl wya???)
I’m annoyed bc I feel like mydayis like gives me my energy back that my other ADHD meds steal in order to stabilize my mood but the focus?? who is she?? don’t know her!!
Anyways, pls tell me to take my meds for the LSAT tomorrow🤡
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ADHD
|
The only reason I'm still alive at the age of 31 is because I know exactly what a suicide does to a family. I experienced this first hand when I was 10 when my father took his own life. I was lied to about what happened at the time (understandable as I was a child) but over the years I was told what actually happened and why. My family doesn't ever talk about it, it's almost like the elephant in the room no one wants to talk about which is fine but it's also extremely unhealthy. I've come to understand over the past few years that everything that happened afterwards 100% changed how I look at and interact with the world. I have a tough time forming any sort of meaningful relationship with people even on a basic level, I find myself not caring what other people want/feel and I get annoyed and irritated when people talk about themselves or their lives in general. It's almost like my brain turns off. I try my best to be a productive member of society but I realize now I've become a robot. I get up and go to work 5 days a week, do my best to do a good job and come home. But on my off time I find myself sitting at home playing video games just to keep my brain sort of numbed to everything. I have become very good at smiling through my feelings and pain and just getting through the day. I can crack jokes and laugh with coworkers but none of it feels genuine to me anymore and all I really want is to sleep. Some how I have become the person who can get through anything without much damage but in reality every day is a struggle. I will be 100% honest I have self harmed, I've drank myself stupid for days on end, I've taken narcotics that probably should have killed me, I've even held a loaded gun to my head but was unable to pull the trigger, and yet no one is aware about any of this until now. I've tired reaching out for help to people I could consider close but it's basically ignored and pushed to the side. I feel like if I do end my life the thing people will say most is "I had no idea he was suicidal" or "I wish he would have reached out". It will all be bullshit if I felt like I could reach out I would have but since I have an overwhelming sense that no one really cares I will most likely continue to internalize everything and keep to myself. Before it's said yes I realize professional help would probably be a good idea but the reality of the situation is I can barely afford everyday life let alone a therapist. My thoughts recently have turned fairly dark, since winter has set in and the roads become slick I keep thinking what's to stop me from jerking the wheel either left or right just enough to cause a major accident that I would hope not to survive. I guess the only reason I haven't done it is because I know the pain it would cause to the people around me and I don't want to burden the police and paramedics with the clean up. As I typed that I realized thats a typical suicidal thought not wanting to be a burden on anyone. Anyway the whole point of this is just to say I'm stuck between not wanting to cause others the same pain I've been through and wanting to end my own inner pain and just be done.
I will answer any questions or comments if there is any.
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depression
|
I’m very against circumcision and have been so ever since I learned what it was when I was nine. I’ve also been restored ever since I was 16. I was diagnosed with minor autism when I was 20 and my parents have used my intactism as an “example” of being autistic. I’m honestly not sure if they even regret what they did or are just pretending to so they can appease me and as a safety measure to prevent me from disowning them.
Half the United States (even more so among younger Americans) is against circumcision and more and more people are realizing it’s wrong. I immigrated to Canada a few years ago (a variety of different reasons) and 75% of people here are against circumcision. If this is just some “weird autistic thing” there must be a lot of them.
How is a nine year old in the late 1990s being intelligent enough to realize something is wrong something to just be dismissed as “being autistic”?
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aspergers
|
OCD Relapse
I relapsed recently after 5 years of doing well. During those 5 years- I did have OCD moments but they do not last more than a few hours and they occurred rarely. I knew OCD relapse can happen because I had 4 after I left OCDI (2006). I was relapsing every 2 years and last one was in 2016. By 2018, I was almost expecting a relapse since there was one every 2 years in the past- but there was no relapsed that year. None in 2019, nor 2020. Last few weeks (September 2021)- I relapsed hard.
I created this infosheet for those who are relasping like me. For me, I have almost forgotten how to deal with OCD. I spent the first week ritualizing nonstop until it occurred to me that I needed to stop and start kicking OCD's behind. I was not able to sleep or eat. I was seeking for reassurances constantly and it was endless pain. I KNEW I had to stop this cycle.
THING YOU NEED TO KEEP IN MIND
IF you can "get better" before, you can get better again.
You may have gotten rusty with what to do, but that's ok, this is what this sheet is for.
Things to do.
If exposures have helped in the past - then start doing ERP 45 minutes once a day. If time does not allow it, do 3 mini ERP's a day.
But….
If exposures did not work in the past, or it worked before BUT not this time for whatsoever reasons, then do this:
Read Dr. Reid Wilson's "Stopping the noise in you head." ( Audio is better in my opinion).
Whenever the thoughts arise- focus on the "feeling of uncertainty" rather than the contents. Dr.Reid is big on "content does not matter". For example, instead of saying "I might not have locked the door, I will never know", say " I will never know" and truly willingly experience that feeling of uncertainty. Idea is to stay OUT of content- it's the resistance of experiencing the uncertainty that's driving the obsession. The content itself is irrelevant.
Beleive me, when I first heard "content does not matter". I remember thinking "But it has everything to do with the content!". That is what OCD wants us to believe. Do not fall into that trap.
After a week of "willing" to experience the uncertainty whenever the OCD thoughts arise, here's what happened. Here's an email.
"Although I'm feeling better, the thoughts are still lingering which was expected. Yesturday there are 2 thoughts that were bothering me and when I told my husband- he sat me down and just said "just ask, so we can just get over it.". I said "no I am not going to ask!" (So proud of myself). This morning- those 2 questions- are still lingering but they are no longer questions but are now just 2 stressful "things" in my head.They no longer ends in ? but act more of an annoying friend.
I believe by not focusing on content- I am gradually reducing the impact of those two specific questions have on me and now they became 2 "unfinished" nonspecific tasks my OCD is trying to have me complete and I know better what to do."
You may feel worst, and even depressed. That is normal and what that is called is "Extinction burst". https://discoverymood.com/blog/avoid-relapse-recovery-mental-health-disorder/
"Things are going well. You begin to feel like there really is a light at the end of the tunnel. Then, suddenly everything gets worse. It’s like the disorder is making one last attempt to get you back at the starting point."
By 3rd week, I have not fully get out of the relaspe yet but I was doing doing 90% better than 2 weeks ago. I am uncertain if I can go back to pre-relapse days but I know for sure I must be willing to tolerate that uncertainty. Anticipation to full recovery is counterproductive in this transforming process. Good Luck.
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OCD
|
Hello, I'm just wondering if anyone else here has the same problem. My entire life, whenever I go to sleep, I stay up for hours because of hearing a song on loop inside my head. Like, a really bad earworm, not just hearing something for an hour or two. I've had many sleepless nights because of this, and they only stopped when I started taking SSRIs at 13.
Tonight I forgot my medicine, and it's late. I was curious about the subject and apparently, the few papers I could find link it to having OCD, which I also suffer from. I didn't know if anyone else shares my experience.
Thanks, and goodnight.
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OCD
|
I just tried to complete this mandatory online course about sexual assault for my college. I’m fucking hysterical. I couldn’t even finish its. Ugh.
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ptsd
|
[deleted]
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/nwdrl0)
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OCD
|
I didn’t get a refill in time and I feel gross 🥴
I hope I can get my refill by tomorrow
if anyone wants to chat message me
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OCD
|
I'm very excited to talk with someone about EVERYTHING that goes on in my mind. Not quite sure how it will go but I'm more than ready.
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aspergers
|
ok this is going to sound kind of weird and I don't know if anyone can relate (I kind of doubt it), but it's a weird sort of thing that I feel like I need to get off my chest because I feel this way almost all the time, especially when I'm feeling particularly lonely.
I sort of have this weird fascination with large cuddly things. Whenever I see something large and huggable, something in my brain wants to jump at it and hug it. I'll see something like... a snoopy float in a parade for instance and imagine myself being held by him like he's a protective parent, and it's super comforting to think about.
And yeah I'm sure lots of people have a facination with cuddly things, but it gets even deeper than that. It's to the point where if I see something like Barney or Dragonite, hell maybe even a large horse or a big monster like Godzilla or something, the synapses in my brain want to be held by them. The stark dopamine from the idea of being cradled by something so large and soft is incredibly addictive to me, like a drug. I'll have to legit distract myself from whatever I'm thinking of or I'll legit think about it for minutes at a time.
And yeah if it sounds like I don't get held very often, I really dont, even before all the Covid stuff. I live alone and I'm not in a position to get a pet. I have some good friends and family, an ok desk job, and am working with a therapist about my autism. Life's not really that bad apart from my weird addiction. It's just there are days when I wish I could scream from the roof for a big ol teddy bear to be a mom for a little bit.
Or something. Or whatever. I don't know. Sorry if this made people sort of shake in their seat.
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aspergers
|
So I always assumed this buzzing that I was hearing was apart of something outside in the distance. I was very wrong i learned today the buzzing sound was coming from inside the computer. My friend asked if it was the fans but it's not. This buzzing sound is usually near objects like the PC TV or Fridge it's very faint but I'm super sensitive to it and sometimes it's overwhelming or annoying. I don't know if this is in my head or what this is can someone explain what i may be hearing? And is this a autism thing?
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aspergers
|
I have to admit it seems to have more effect than the first time I took. The first day back on it was head in the clouds amazing which I knew was just cause my tolerance was lower. But I felt so good it was hard to get down to tasks. Now I just feel alert, able to concentrate, work, good overall. Less anxiety than usual no depression. Still easily distracted.
Not sure how it will play out for long term use. I still have a hard time being task orientated over interest orientated. Wish that was useful for something but for most jobs like mine it isn’t.
Honestly, I hope it either works or it kills me (I have a heart condition) so I don’t have to make that choice myself.
Living with ADHD or whatever for 40 years (provisional diagnosis only) has been - very hard.
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ADHD
|
I'm very new to this so bear with me and thank you for taking time.
I've been in a relationship for 2 and a half years now. it's been interesting. breaking down some walls only to build more. but his behaviour has always been neglectful and narcissistic, but I never saw it only till recently when he ruined a huge event for me and I was really mad.
I think the relationship is making my anxiety overall worse.
I think I have ptsd. I was raped by my best friend of ten years and she cut off all ties with me soon afterwards. only recognised that this trauma existed and stopped making excuses and everything fell apart. now I shut down if people talk about sex, my views on relationships are heavily damaged, I can't even hug my mother or brother without feeling my body tense up. and my partner is an affectionate person, he asks for a hug or a kiss or to come cuddle with him and I freeze and my heart rate rises and I get anxious.
I have read up a lot on "fawning" and I think i relate to it to the t.
i haven't been diagnosed or spoken to anyone yet, I've only been looking into this the last week or so. and I'm having so many realizations and crying so much when I read more about ptsd and assault and verbal abuse and emotional abuse, it's all overwhelming.
I have a friend who I trust immensely and they've offered a space for me to stay in which i know is safe and will help me to be there, but my fight flight freeze won't let me move. won't let me speak up in fear of being brushed aside or yelled at or have to deal with my partner cracking a tantrum over me wanting to stay at my friend house, who is also a man. so theres a lot of projections my partner is pushing on me, (ealousy over spending time with people like friends especially if they were men) and has been for years and I never knew because I grew up in a dysfunctional household w a narcissist father.
I just would like to hear if anyone has any tips? any advice? I live with my partner and feel unable to make decisions that will help me get into a space where I can finally slow down and feel safe and heal. I want to be better
|
ptsd
|
Man this sucks, I took my PSAT today and I was supposed to get extended time through IEP since I have adhd. It’s a mild version with repetitive tics and a really bad daydreaming problem so it’s good for me to get extra time just in case.
They never even gave the extension which I complained about to the office and the runners of the PSAT but nobody could help. I then strangely felt confident enough to do it on non-extensive time since I drank some monster but then I kept daydreaming so I missed 20 math and 25 reading questions and now I’m crying. I know the PSATs are not super serious but I still feel hella depressed and mad over it.
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ADHD
|
Hello everyone,
I’m a 17 year male, senior in high school, and in my own eyes, a failure. I’ve come here to ask for any advice anyone is willing to give.
I come from a loving family, have exceptional grades in school, and keep a few good friends in my circle, but I feel unfulfilled and utterly worthless.
I try to convince myself that greater things lie ahead, yet I’m tied down by fear of the future and sadness in the present. I feel that I’m a failure as a son, brother, friend, and boyfriend. I don’t know what purpose I have or what I want to do with my life.
As a son and brother, I don’t spend nearly enough time with my family. I never feel I can repay the amount of love and support they give me. I can’t bring myself to tell them how I feel because I don’t want to hurt them and invalidate the work they’ve put into being with me.
As a friend, I again, don’t spend enough time with my friends. I can’t find the motivation to hang out with them or start conversations over text/discord anymore. I care about them a lot but I can’t find the strength to show them.
As a boyfriend, I feel alone. I try to put in my best effort, asking how her day is, supporting her, trying to plan and spend time with her, etc. Despite my best efforts, she never seems to reciprocate, always seeming distant and never texting me first. I wouldn’t want to spring these feelings on her because of the anxiety she has, yet I want to express them all the same. I know she’s a kind person at heart, but I’m not sure if she likes me for me, but instead for the support I provide.
This year is supposed to be fun. I have so many things I want to do and see, so many questions I want to find the answer to. However, I’m just not ready.
I’m afraid of becoming lost, forced into a monotonous routine where I have to see and do the same things all while being held hostage by my own insecurities and negative emotions.
I don’t want to be alone. Not now, not ever.
Thanks for reading. I hope you all have a great day, seeing or doing something that puts a little light in your life.
|
depression
|
So I think I may have ocd but I can’t see a therapist so I’m asking on here.
What I think my “ocd” is targeting is my gender and sexuality because I used to have really bad worries if I was gay or not and then after those were over I had tons of anxiety about my gender. Right now I’m not having too too much anxiety it’s kinda just like my brain won’t accept that I’m a straight male even tho I want to be a guy, like I always have been and I’m not attracted to other men sexually or romantically. Today someone I’ve known for a very long time accidentally called me a girl and at first I didn’t really feel comfortable with it but then I got worried that I actually did and I was in denial.
My biggest worries are than I’m in denial.
So do you guys think this is ocd or not?
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OCD
|
I am diagnosed with OCD and have been taking Prozac for 15 years and Wellbutrin on and off for 10 and the intrusive thoughts are pretty well controlled under it. I also probably have ADHD. I am being put on Vyv@nse for weight related issues but the Dr that is putting me on that says it will also treat ADHD if I have it.
My anxiety is super high about adding a new med. I struggle with worries about losing control.
I don't know what I am looking for with my post. Just hoping maybe some of you can relate or have experiences to share? Thanks for reading!
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OCD
|
Hi! I'm a 14 year old female, I don't have any diagnosed mental illnesses, since my family doesn't believe I should go to a therapist, or doctor to get checked out at least, but this is the most annoying thing I would like to get advice on;
Ever since I was like 6-7, I've always had to have everything in a certain way. I remember the exact situation and how I got this happening to me. I was doing a maths test, and English not being my first language, I didn't know what the words "odd" and "even" meant. Skip forward to when we were going through the answers, my teacher talked me through that an even number is divisible by 2 and whatnot, and that's where it started. I counted every single step, making sure each were even, making sure I touched everything an even amount of time, so on.
Now, nearly a decade later, I still have this issue, but it's worse. I need to touch every single thing a specific amount of times. Now, one thing you should know about me is I'm a content creator for people on Twitch and YouTube, and I play a lot of games, especially Minecraft, and as you'd expect it requires a mouse. It's worse on my right hand, which too, is the hand I use my mouse with. At one point, if I click the buttons too many times with one finger, it makes the others uncomfortable, (worst are thumb, pointer and middle, rest aren't affected much).
Another thing: I live in an area where roads aren't paved well, so when stepping on cracks, I need the other foot to feel the same in the same spot. My parents think I'm doing it for attention, and I wish it was fake because of how annoying it is...
I read a little about it online, and I found a condition called "haphemania", similar to what I'm currently experiencing but not completely accurate. Anyone know if its a sign of OCD, or if not, what it could be..? I appreciate any help, thank you. -L
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OCD
|
I was sexually assulted back in 5 grade in science class. We were watching a movie. Abby Land. A girl who I was friends with sexually touched me by unzipping my pants and putting her hands inside my underwear touching my bare privates. I'm a sophomore now. It still haunts me. It happens when I was 10 or 11 or 12. Now I'm 16. She also emotionally abused me for years until she moved to another state. She always accused me of cheating when she was the one cheating. She wanted me to hurt my family by burning down the house. I didn't do it. She didn't let me talk to female friends. When I did something she thought was wrong. She ignores me for hours. I had to beg for her to talk to me when she was like this. I feel like this is my fault. I should have kicked her out of my life but I felt sorry for her and she had me under her control. Everything that happened to me is my fault because I didn't kick her out of my life. All I feel is angry all the time. I. Never happy. I feel like my innconce was stolen from me....
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ptsd
|
My wife has diagnosed OCD, has had it since before we were married 12 years ago. She currently talks to a therapist once a week as it has become much worse after covid.
I have two daughters, the oldest is 9, that are showing the same traits- either inherited or learned.
I feel trapped by it all - as it is not getting better. I can't really talk to my wife about it because it would just feed her anxiety.
I have read When A Family Member Has OCD by Hershfield, but it was not very helpful.
Any of you have experience with this?
Are there support groups for husband's with wife's that have ocd? Is there a reddit group for this that I have missed? Any advise is helpful.
Thank you.
|
OCD
|
My ocd is often not super bad but the moment I become aware that I have it, or have someone mention it, it gets worse to the point of feeling so much anxiety and terrible intrusive thoughts. Does it happen to anyone else?
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OCD
|
Last week I was getting ready for work and my right eye started visibly pulsating for about 5 minutes. I didn't think much of it cause this sensation has happened to me in other places like my lip. Then a few days ago I started getting headache on my forehead and right eye. I thought it's from my glasses (cause they no longer fit me and I'm waiting for the new ones to arrive). I went to bed, it seemed like it was over but since then I get dull pain in my forehead and sometimes right eye area when I look up or make sudden eye movements. I don't know what it could be, Google isn't helping and everyone else just says take a painkiller (I have but it doesn't do anything). Does anyone have any suggestions on what I could do?
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depression
|
Just relapsed with one reassurance and it felt so good, anxiety went poof. That is pretty much all.
|
OCD
|
I thought I was finally rid of him. I still have the nightmares. The scars inside and out. How does he always manage to keep creeping back into my life (oh yeah. Trauma bonds) and making me feel like the bad guy (oh yeah. Gaslighting). I just...don't know what to do anymore. I never feel safe. He knows where I live and where I work. How can I ever cut this tie when he won't let up despite his assertion that he hates me. How can one successfully get away from an abuser without them instigating further harm and/or death? Is recovery even possible at this point?
|
ptsd
|
So, my GP finally got tired of throwing meds at my twitchy, maybe-bipolar 2 ass, and referred me to a psychiatric practice for a proper evaluation. Met with the psychologist for the first time yesterday. I'm 33F, but I think I have ADHD instead of or in combination with bipolar 2, so I mostly volunteered information about my problems with concentration, short-term memory, and sitting still. I've considered going back to school for a real career path, but I don't trust myself not to forget or lose something important.
Based on a lot of her questions in the second half of our talk, however, I think she thinks I'm autistic? Possibly because I got very enthusiastic talking about my hobbies (I was nervous and gushed about how much I like math and grammar). In addition to the ADHD and anxiety worksheets, she gave me a long self-evaluation packet with questions about literal-mindedness, sensitivity to stimuli, and empathy (or lack thereof).
Am I autistic? I don't know. I'm a *very odd person*, especially in the comfort of my own home, but I'm more or less at peace with that. I'd just like to be able to follow conversations without getting lost or confused, as well as do my work in a timely manner. I thought maybe prescribed stimulants could help with that.
Anyway, I go back next Tuesday for another interview and a computer test (the QBtest, I think, based on her description), with strict instructions not to have any caffeine that morning.
Whatever the results, I guess it'd be nice to have answers. Hopefully those will be answers I can do something with.
What is the QBtest like?
|
ADHD
|
Hi fellow aspies.
I would like to know if any of you have done a career change once you realized you had Aspergers or just in general. I am considering to change my career since I HATE my job, which increasingly causes me distress.
I am considering to go into programming (a very aspie choice), but my heart lies with languages and linguistics. That is a bold choice though since I do not know if there are any good career options for an aspie with a linguistics degree.
Anyways, what are your stories and experiences?
|
aspergers
|
Hello, any book recommendations or random activities to break me out of this funk while I figure out medicine. Please Lmk. I’m struggling.
|
depression
|
I get swoles and veins in my penis from having even my brother just standing next to me? Am I gay? I don't wanna be it even goes with family which is incest and gross. Somebody pls give me hope I'm scared that I'll have to act on these feelings but I don't want that I always identified as straight. I don't wanna feel like I'm aroused by my brother and father I know its not that but it feels simular.
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OCD
|
So I recently started taking adderall per doctor prescription for my adhd I started with a 15mg adderall XR but stopped very soon because even taking it at 4am I couldn't sleep at all at night and was exhausted.
My doctor switched me to 5mg of the IR version but for some reason it still lasts a crazy long time way longer than it should I've only been using it about once every 2 or 3 weeks just because I'm worried about the effect it has on my sleep and how long it lasts.
Is this normal for first time usage? Is it just because I don't use it enough?
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ADHD
|
I get easily tired every day. Like I tend to look crestfallen every minute, cancel plans, and sleep throughout the day, and then at night I am just unable to fall asleep. Then they all become a vicious cycle. I'm not sure if i's depression that is the culprit, or the OCD, or simply the meds. But I think my lifestyle might have already driven off some of my friends, causing them to write me off as lazy, irresponsible and weak. It is not me, because without the OCD I'm not like that. But I just can't help it (I really fucking hate this OCD bitch...)
By the way, speaking of meds, I don't wish to invalidate meds, but it really annoys me when I am told that I have to be on meds for life. I respect those who have to or have opted to do so, but I certainly don't wish for manufactured chemicals to alter my state of mind to the point that I don't even feel like I know myself; and please don't get me started on how the meds have made me put on 30+ pounds and caused me to be depressed as ever. On top of that, I am hooked on Benzos for the quick relief and I really want myself to be off them (my previous psychiatrist didn't supervise me strictly on my habitual consumption of it).
I'm sorry but it's so hard. My 26-year-old self is aching like a 50-year-old man. I certainly feel that my brain is not the only organ of the body that is breaking down. OCD + depression is certainly the lethal combo, literally.
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OCD
|
People keep asking me how they can be more inclusive of my needs as an autistic person and I have no idea how to answer. Especially online like on twitch or Clubhouse or things like that. What do you tell people? Are there any resources to share?
I’m 40 and I’ve had my official diagnosis for less than a year so I’m just used to masking and pushing through, partly because I was born in the 80s and partly because my family is pretty ableist. (Yay C-PTSD!)
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aspergers
|
It's very hard to enjoy foreplay with my boyfriend when I'm always obsessing over whether or not I'm gonna get pregnant.
Today, the only things that happened involved zero PIV penetration, and I've been obsessing ever since about whether or not I should buy an emergency contraceptive pill (context: I gave my bf oral, and a handy, he touched himself a little, then touched my vag, idk if his fingers went in all the way or if he just touched the opening, there was some precum, but no semen, there was also dry humping in underwear, and I have been really fucking paranoid as to whether or not I could be pregnant). Doesn't help that I've been having cramps ever since it happened, and I've been scrounging around for all the money I own to see if I have enough for an emergency contraceptive pill, because that's what I did last time this happened. I know I'm probably making a big deal out of a non existant issue, but still, this paranoia in my head is not fun.
|
OCD
|
I've been feeling this for a while. COVID started a pretty crazy year for me because:
• Lost my job.
• I met my fiance.
• I had visits with my fiance then had to move across the country.
• While across the country my mother proceeded to retraumatize me psychologically, emotionally and mentally... Like she did when I was growing up.
• I moved back across the country after a short time
• Moved into a new apartment with my partner
• Discovered I might have undiagnosed adult ADHD and started pursing diagnosis.
• Distanced myself from a tightly held spiritual practice because I realized it's problematic in many ways.
• Started seeking a couple's therapist with my fiance
•My partner also started pursing diagnosis for high functioning autism.
• I've been manipulated by "spiritual healers" while trying to seek help.
• Found a therapist who aligned with my old spiritual belief system but realizing that I need to switch.
• and finally, trying to process all of this while I now feel deeply unappreciated and misunderstood by my partner.
Edit: sorry about the format, I'm on mobile
Right now it feels like when I go outside I'm so scared of other people, more than I was when I was still working. Also knowing that I'm being perceived by other people feels weird because I feel super vulnerable to the world almost like my nervous system and my heart are burned out and exhausted. I almost worry that by looking at me they will just see the trauma on my back and be repelled by me or that they will want to hurt me (particularly when there are men nearby).
I just need some kind words and to know I'm going to be okay.
|
ptsd
|
Hey guys, my son (8) has ADHD and is taking medication to help. Behavior is best described as a fast moving sweet fast-moving thoughtful wreckingball that wants a lot of strong hugs and books. Really he wants a book that hugs.
He has a significant loss of executive functioning and needs numerous ways to cope; songs, lists, repetition. Recently he's been having what he calls "confusion attacks" where his short term memory seems to check out and he can't get it back for a minute. 'I'm smarter than my brain' is how he described it.
Essentially, it seems to happen in transition from one mental activity to another. Like doing a math problem, thinking about something intently, or doing something on the computer. It seems to last for a couple of minutes.
Researching this, I haven't found anything that's helpful and hope someone here has some ideas how I can help
Cheers
|
ADHD
|
I believe that all I do is burden people/think that they will end up hating me or they already do no matter what. Because I’ve projected these insecurities onto situations and my friends (since I’m not really sure of how to read things all the time such as if someone is joking or being serious), then I guess I’ve been accused of being, “too sensitive,” if I take it negatively. I guess I’m not sure what to do in order to fix that issues and I’m wondering if you’ve also experienced it.
|
aspergers
|
So I’m a huge fan of kids movies and normally they are a safe bet as they have never triggered me cause well they are kids movies.
Well trolls 2 includes my trigger song so the movie I was waiting for and was planning on taking my neice to I can’t see because I don’t want to have a PTSD attack.
😭😭😭😭
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ptsd
|
Sometimes when i’m thinking through something my brain has told me i’ve done (e.g turned the hob on for no reason ) my next worry will be that, because i was thinking about it, i did it by accident, and so i have to think that through and so on and it’s a viscious cycle.
|
OCD
|
I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. I know only a few other people on my end of the spectrum and including me 3 have or have had serious problems with substances. How common do you think it is? I think it might be really common. Due to social anxiety I needed alcohol to talk to people who I wanted to have a relationship with or even just sex. I haven't even tried to meet someone since I got sober.
|
aspergers
|
my depression makes me feel bad for my dog. i feed her and take her out but that's about it. i don't have the energy to interact with or play with her. i feel like im causing her to be depressed because I'm depressed
|
depression
|
So hey, this is something I've been thinking about a lot recently. I'm diagnosed with depression, general anxiety and ocd and take medication. I've had very brief therapy experience and am not currently in therapy but I'm wondering if I should see someone about the possibility of trauma. Sorry if this is a long one but here we go.
As a child I had a debilitating chronic illness which came on very suddenly and meant I had to leave school and I became bedbound with a lot of pain and mystery symptoms. 'Suddenly' as in my life changed basically overnight. Took a loooong time to diagnose too. I was never admitted to hospital long term but did an extensive pediatric tour and being a kid, didn't really know what was happening, if I'd ever get better, etc. and became almost totally isolated from all my old friends too. I also saw the effect my illness had on my family which was really rough. I've been depressed since childhood but only sought help at age 20 because as a kid I was scared if any doctors knew cps would take me away (reports of kids with depression + my condition being wrongly perceived as a result of abuse) plus I didn't want to cause more pain to my family... Then the secret had been kept too long to spill I guess. I'd always been an anxious child too. I also don't remember much of my childhood but I don't know if there's an abnormal lack of memories.
I get angry hearing other people with the illness talk about it... I panic and get upset when I think about how I was... The times I've been forced into talking about it/remembering being ill I get very emotional... No one who I've made friends with after getting better knows about my illness and I plan to keep it that way. But I've only heard of medical trauma in like, kids who had cancer or really serious stuff. I don't know if this is a trauma or I'm just oversensitive? and I feel like I can't even tell how much this is affecting my life if that makes sense because I don't want to think about it. I'm used to being extremely repressed but finding the right snri has made more actual emotions creep back into my life lol. I'd just really appreciate any responses and opinions because it's taken a lot to share even this
|
ptsd
|
I have suffered depression and anxiety my entire adult life (38M), and I feel like everything is about to grind to a halt. I aslo have ADHD which, as I understand it, depression and anxiety may be comorbidities of untreated ADHD - I feel like my 'toolbox' of things to do that I've learned from therapists over the years needs to be re-configured to suit, and I feel like i've run out of time. I feel one or two poorly managed, poorly perceived incidents away from a complete shutdown and having to leave my job, further complicating things at home. There is one thing I keep looking for, more than anything else. And that is purpose. A reason to be here. Thanks to the pandemic and my inability to correctly manage things, my purpose has receded to literally 'eat, sleep, work'. I do not spend a lot of time with my wife, and I am desperate to, and my friends, etc. (even remotely - I back away from pretty much every social opportunity). This is a bizarre request, but... what, in the face of all adversity is your purpose? I find I excel when given the appropriate perspective, but in this regard... I have none. Be a good person? Sure... but people are becoming increasingly awful and I can't really spend much time with other folk... live a virtuous life like the stoics? Courage, Justice, Temperance and Wisdom? I'm too depressed for 3 of 4 of those items. Like grabbing an un-assuming tree branch as you accelerate towards a waterfall, what creates even the smallest shift in you towards the positive? Why are you still here? (Challenge - not religious, spirituality is waning) I need something cryptic and imaginative, something that undulates with whatever is happening in the world...
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depression
|
It was so real. I have nightmares about it but they werent as clear as day as this one. I felt everything. And i spent the morning vomitting.
How do yoy cope?
|
ptsd
|
I guess I want to know how you've reclaimed your space back?
​
I quit my job a few weeks long ago from sexual harassment on the patient floor and the terrible handling from a narcissistic superior in the hospital that came from it. My fear is that I will be subject to this again in another job, and am fearful about applying to other jobs because it might happen again.
​
How have you been able to reclaim a space and establish a sense of security from a traumatic experience?
(I am diagnosed with PTSD and have the therapist/psych support necessary, but want to know what steps have others taken on their own)
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ptsd
|
I was diagnosed with ADHD at about 8-9 years old and to this day never really understood it. I turned 19 today. I’ve never felt like I fit in, always had very low self esteem and motivation and can’t believe it’s just ‘depression’ and ‘anxiety’, does the ADHD have anything to do with it? Im not living a healthy life right now, don’t have anything going on and I’m just wasting time away. If anyone can provide some information on this matter it would make my day, thanks for reading.
|
ADHD
|
The psychological uncertainty principle: when uncertain, choose the negation of it.
e.g.,: have you seen a spider on the floor, but you're afraid it was just a figment of your imagination? - Choose the negation of it!: there wasn't a spider on the floor, it was just my mind playing tricks on me!
You may claim this isn't rational, and quite dangerous?: But, what is purer than self-manipulation in your own favor? Nothing is.
In some rather amusing fashion this is the highest form of rationality, by turning your environment, and the human acting upon that environment, in your favor. Nonetheless, use this principle wisely.
e.g.,: wishful thinking is the unwise use of this principle.
e.g.,: "I can lift this boulder, I am so terribly powerful, but all of a sudden it fell on my toe, and now I am very hurt!
Don't try this at home kids. Yes, yes, I know very humorous, indeed.
There's a fine line regarding this principle, use it wisely, and you may live a happy life.
|
OCD
|
Hi people,
This is basically what it sounds like, I’m not sure if I belong in this community. I do think I had a traumatic experience, but it was really fucking dumb. I’m not exaggerating, every single human being has experienced the event that traumatized me. The event (if you can call it that) is used extremely frequently in common conversation, and I hear it referenced at least once a day, often more. Basically I got sick when I was really little. It wasn’t life-threatening, but I was 6, I didn’t know that I wasn’t going to die! I felt like I was going to. I wanted to at some point, though. It lasted hours and I just didn’t want to exist anymore. I can’t even type the words of what the name is for what happened to me. I haven’t said or typed those words in 4 years.
Sometimes I can’t close my eyes at night because there are too many images and sounds bouncing around my mind. I don’t have flashbacks, but I do have very frequent panic attacks about the whole thing and the fact that I have a condition somewhat related to my trauma does not help in the slightest.
At this point, I’m really scared to try and get treatment. I’m scared the medical professional helping me will tell my parents (they would support me, but I just can’t stand the thought of them knowing) and I’m scared about who I would be if I did receive treatment. I’ve been dealing with whatever this is for more than 10 years and it’s kind of become an essential part of me. I don’t want to get better, I just don’t want it to happen to me any more. I just have to wait a couple years, then I’m out of the house and no one else has to know.
I have told a couple people that I thought I had some sort of maybe ptsd (I know self-diagnosing can be extremely harmful and it’s generally not a good idea) and I just felt kinda icky about the whole experience after I told them. It makes me not want to talk about it. They were completely supportive, but I still regret telling them.
Sorry that this was so long, I don’t know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. And thank you to the people who read all the way through this mess of a post.
|
ptsd
|
I was suppose to go home for leave this christmas. but i got scammed so no more money and i don’t know what to do. me going home for leave was going to help me heal. and feel better i thought. i’m really ready to give up. i need companionship. i need my parents brothers. my girlfriend. i’m tired of being here it’s so lonely and now i have to spend the holidays by myself. the only thing that’s stopping me from offing myself. i’m trying to trust in Gods timing but it’s so damn hard by myself.
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depression
|
I don't know how to put this into words
another year wasted and im still not functioning adult
i dont wanna be here anymore
|
depression
|
I’m really done talking to people all together! It’s always the same shit! It’s either they are not really interested in me but they continue talking to me to be nice, they want something sexual out of me, or I get judged for being me! Also I don’t want to talk about your relationship you have I can’t help you! I don’t know how to help you! I’m tried to be the person everyone vents to when I have nobody in return!
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depression
|
I feel like this is ruining my life. I would like to be able to let go of my past but it haunts me. How can I stop my compulsions?
|
ptsd
|
Things have gone downhill lately and all the usual strategies my family have used to help my mom manage her condition have been dramatically less effective than they were before. Her head is already in a different space and nothing gets through to her. I'm worried she'll have another meltdown and potentially hurt someone in the process, especially because she doesn't seem all that invested in her own recovery. I tried doing a bit of digging on the sub but it looks like all of the easy to find resources are for personal growth. No matter how small or obvious it may seem, any little bit of info is greatly appreciated.
​
EDIT: My dad has kept everyone else in the family in the dark when it came to my mom's diagnosis. I remember seeing my dad purchasing books on bipolar disorder and other mental illnesses around the same time I found out, so that may also be a factor here but I'm unsure. I still don't understand PTSD all that well, so until I do I'll be working under the assumption that PTSD is the only condition I'll need advice for.
|
ptsd
|
I started my job in quality control and have to deal with people. A coworker of mine thought I was rude when I asked him a genuine question about his job. He didn't like the tone of my voice.
People at my company look busy doing nothing and I can't do that. I want to do genuine work and I get noticed sometimes when there is no work.
I like my job but interacting with people will always hinder my ability to progress since work is not as important as winning people over. I just don't have it in me.
|
aspergers
|
Just something I came up with today that I like. Thought someone else might like it too. Trust your instincts. Your true friends are the ones who help you when you are struggling with your battle against depression. You may have some people around you that don't have your best interest in mind, and aren't helping, or possibly adding to your depression. I did, and I knew it, but I put it on myself because I felt like I was always wrong and worthless. Realistically, those people just aren't true friends and by distancing myself from them, I felt better. Stay strong.
Edit: I want to add "effortlessly" into the mix. True friends won't make you feel like they are pandering to you and your fight with depression, or make you feel like it's a burden to them. True friends support you by just being themselves and valuing you as a friend... Effortlessly
|
depression
|
I have ADHD and very little short term memory and ability to focus. I agreed in part because I felt like saying no would be rude. I don't think I can follow the minutiae of so many specific rules and chores that she needs and I don't want to upset her. What advice can you give to make these next few days easier?
|
aspergers
|
Hi,
Im 23, single, finished the university and working.
My whole life right now is just 1.go to work, feel anxiety for the whole day (although the work is fun so I dont know whats up with that) 2.cook and clean at home 3.repeat
All my friends are couples that cant seem to find time to hang out and everyday I just sit alone in my apartment I feel really shitty.
Every period of my life when I was feeling like this I was ok because I thought it will be better one day but now I just dont know what to look forward to. Everytime I write to my friends and propose something fun to do and they say they dont have time I feel like absolute s*** and cant get myself to do anything for the rest of the day..
How do I start feeling good alone?
|
depression
|
I just posted about this on /r/firsttimehomebuyers but I thought ADHD might understand exactly how I feel in the 5 weeks between our offer and getting the keys. I am 100% focused on purchasing and closing on this house. It’s all I can think of. Planning future renovations, projects and decorating is fun too. But working? Cleaning? Packing? Impossible.
I’ve now built our house on Sims 4 and Planner 5D, started my Pinterest board and reorganized my old boards, and designed our renovated kitchen on IKEA kitchen planner.
|
ADHD
|
it doesnt get better.
this stupid fucking sob story doesnt end with me finally finding love or acceptance or community. this ends with me getting bored of my pathetic fucking life and killing myself. it may not happen soon, but i probably wont be alive long enough to legally drink
aftyer high school im gponna be disowned working a dead end job just so i can afford college
and if that doesnt happen ill have to indebt myself wp my family so they can pay for my tuition
im failing school abnd my mom keeps telling me to pray away my adhd nd i stopped taking my meds almost 2 months ago nd i havent talked to my therapist nd the school youth worker wants 3 talk to me
i dont think ill live past high school. and if i do my life will probably be worthless nd depressing
i have a test 3morrow nd i cant study bc im too busy fucking crying nd also i was too sad tp pay attention whn we got the study guide so im prob gnna fail. i have an essay due 2morro tht i hvbt even started. i jope i kill myself during christmas break
|
depression
|
I don’t know what to do with myself. I have hobbies with a few friends and work a normal job. But still life is the same things everyday. Maybe I’m born a loser ….. and we are animals after all.. survival of the fittest.
|
depression
|
Hello all. So I have a childish fear of the dark, even in my bedroom. I open my eyes like 20 times before I convince myself I am grueling safe in my own room. It's irrational and embarrassing. Does anyone have similar experiences? Or suggestions to get over this ? I have to sleep with a light on or I'm way to paranoid to relax enough to sleep. It's even worse when my partner is gone for the night.
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ptsd
|
Diagnosed approx 2 months ago and was treated with vyvanse 30mg.
It worked wonderfully until I started have issues with numbness and tingling ( left side, calf, arm face) as well as gas. High resting heart rate was another.
I thought these were effects of my covid jab. I consulted my psych and they upped my dose thinking the symptoms were unrelated. Since then the side effects got much worse and had to stop taking the meds.
Not really sure what to do next, are there suitable alternatives? I am finding things quite difficult now not having them.
|
ADHD
|
I’m 33 years old and although I’ve never been formally diagnosed I have a lot of the traits that would put me on the Spectrum. I tend to spend a lot of time being nostalgic of and thinking about the past and past events or people that I used to spend time with. A good amount of my day is spent thinking about the past and remembering the times I used to have and thinking of mistakes I made and things I wish I would’ve done or said. Im not sure if this is related to ASD but does anyone else deal with these thoughts and emotions?
|
aspergers
|
So I have a pretty embarassing issue... I don't wanna talk about it but I'm not sure what else to do at this point lol. So, whenever I pee, I will often get splashes on my upper inner legs (I'm female). This probably happens around 50% of the time? As I have contamination ocd, this is extremely stressful to me and so I now dread going to the bathroom. Any of y'all deal with this, or know anything I can do? Thanks <3
What's also weird is that this only started happening once my ocd got worse.
|
OCD
|
Hi! This is a little bit longer so sorry
- just a note that english isnt my first language and Im writing this at 2am so please be nice ;)
So, I think I might have ocd but Im not really sure. had some symptoms since I was little, or having thoughts like: if I dont touch that door my family is gonna die, or if I dont get to that tree in 10 seconds, my dog is gonna get eaten by another dog(idk it was really weird) But that was probably all I can think of from symptoms when I was younger.
I started noticing my “weird” behaivor about last june (2020). For example, I started being really angry with everyone for doing anything slightly wrong, like placing a glass on the table, and not cleaning it. If there was aby mess I didnt like I would get anxiety attacks?(fast heartbeat,breathing, wrenched gut, feeling of stress,pressure,like I was scared ig) and would have to clean ALL of it, or Avoid it (I mostly cleaned it).
It could happen anytime, for example when my friend was over and we went to get some snacks into the pantry, and I absolutely freaked tf out because it wasnt organized enough, and had to do it on the spot.
I could do this for like 1-2 hours everyday
If I didnt do it, it would cause me great disstress
(At that time I also searched up my behaivor and ocd came out, but I kinda brushed it off)
Like a month ago, I came across ocd once again, but this time it wasnt so easy to brush off. I saw that I had similar symptoms to it, and went to my mom to tell her if she could schedule an appointment with my brothers psychologist(I didnt tell her why because i was embarased). As soon as i did that, I started having these thoughts like; “Am I faking this all for attention?„ or “ Could this really be ocd or am I just overreacting?„ NONSTOP. I would have them in school, at home, my friends house, anywhere. The only 2 ways I could get rid of the thoughts were: 1. These weird tics?( if I got the thought, my body would automatically shake to get rid off it)but i didnt do that on purpose, as I already said, my body did it. 2. GOOGLING. Whenever I had these thoughts, I would end up searching up symptoms, watched videos on ocd and took almost all the ocd tests there are (which i scored moderate, if it helps to know).
This helped me as a temporary relief, or reassurance.
I would do this 1-2 hours a day, and I even did it in the middle of class once,
Because if I didnt do it i would feel stressed, or just out of place depending on the situation.
One of my friends even brought it up, saying that its kinda weird that i google this much ( Again I didnt tell her what I was searching up because i felt embarassed)
This behavior continues on to this day
- I also have alot of intrusive thoughts mostly at night but i just thought i could quickly add that
Some of my other symptoms are:
• Intrusive/taboo thoughts, pocd thoughts, inapropriet thoughts etc.
• Sometimes feeling the need to do things 3 times
• scared of mold, food poisoning, asking relatives for reassurance that the food is not indeed gone bad
• Fearing that I dont have enough symptoms and that I will never be diagnosed and will have to struggle with this forever
• ecessive feeling over others wellbeing ( idk if thats a symptom)
• fearing that people can read my thoughts and I will be looks down upon
• being scared that I didnt talk to my friends enough, and that they will commit su!cide
So yeah thank you so much for taking your time to read this! And please leave your opinion here too I really need to know what you guys think ( i am NOT searching for a proffesional diagnosis here!)
Thanks <3
|
OCD
|
I have a hard time with emotional regulation and rejection sensitivity. I get so consumed by some of my darker thoughts, mostly about how my mind likes to twist around situations or thoughts for the worst, and it bothers me and affects my life a lot.
The rejection sensitivity definitely feeds into the emotional regulation issue as well.
I try things like telling myself that I need to let my thoughts go, or run my hands under cold water, or even try to distract myself with a game or movie, but nothing really seems to help.
Any tips??
|
ADHD
|
i am absolutely awful at time management. i'm always rushing to get things done at the last second, you know the whole adhd stereotype lol.
im in college now, and i am taking two difficult classes that have some homework and lots of studying. the thing is, the due dates are all spread out. it's not like high school where my homework was due every other day. now i don't have that structure, and it's all on me to figure out a good schedule. except, i don't know how. i spend nearly every day working on school work, because i'm not efficient and i'm so disorganized. i am getting better at not get distracted, but it still takes me so long to get things done, and i have no clue how to plan for my week. i'm all over the place
if you have any suggestions, please share them. i really want to do well in these classes
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ADHD
|
Last year, I was obsessed about longboards, especially electric longbords. I wanted to know everything about them and it ended with me buying the best board I could find. It was a 1500$ boosted board (electric longboard) and I don't even use it due to poor balance and the fear of being hurt.
|
aspergers
|
That's it, I have thoughts like stalking/ harm ocd and I think I should be held responsible for something in order to go to jail because I feel guilty
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OCD
|
I used to just get a little ticked off whenever someone brushed against me, but it seems to have gotten worse in the past few weeks. The thing that really sets me off is when they say "Oh, excuse me!" afterward. It's usually in a high-pitched tone of voice and FUCK it pisses me off. I'm able to contain my feelings unless it's around a family member or something, and even thing it just seems like passive-aggression to them. Either I have to wait for myself to cool down or get it out by punching the shit out of a pillow or something. I know it's not uncommon for people with ASD to feel uncomfortable with it, but I'm starting to worry that I might endanger myself and others as time goes on.
Can anyone relate? How do I de-escalate this?
|
aspergers
|
What are the signs of adult autism?
First the difference in adult and child diagnosis. Autism manifests itself differently because children have the innocence to think that all their experiences are in common with everyone. So the diagnosis of children is so much easier that we have the impression that there is no adult autism with the exception of severe cases and the structure to diagnose them in a subtle way of autism is terrible.
The disadvantage is that the child will almost never have the notion that he should seek diagnosis or help by placing this burden on the family and educational institutions. As an adult the condition and demand is all on your shoulders.
Whoever asks this question has already learned to adapt and mask the condition, so it is worth asking the questions for those who took care of him as a child to hear the absurdities of a world that was not concerned with psychological conditions:
Yes, you didn't bother much when you were a baby and you didn't want to be held up to be feed, except disturbances in the environment that agitated you. Yes you were extremely picky for eating for no apparent reason.
Yes, you learned to speak a little before motherly (or even after) but you still didn't want to interact.
Yes you were fissioned with lego, things to assemble etc and the teacher complains that when all the children wanted to go to the playground you wanted to finish the activity and when it was time to return you wanted to finish the castle or something.
Yes, you fought with people for speaking too loudly, you wanted to wear sunglasses (sensitivity to senses).
Well, if you are an intelligent person, you have learned to adapt and the differences become much more subtle. Kind of an instinct that tells you that some things are not as natural as they should be for you. Imagine one of those sound tables, it is as if the neurotypical person had all the characteristics in a secret 'normal' amplitude and nobody wants to explain it to you. While you are lost because someone played to put your buttons at maximum and at least randomly. Answering the question itself:
You don't scream at people to stop talking but exposing yourself to a lot of sensory stimuli causes you a discomfort that you don't understand like mysterious headaches and nausea. Contact doesn't bother you but it's not an instinct, they can overwhelm you (even a lot of eye contact). So they are commonly used sparingly and you don't even realize it.
You wonder why when it comes to interacting, some things come more naturally than others. For example: You find a formal meeting with a stranger on a topic of interest like a professional meeting or an online group more rewarding. Maintaining relationships and taking care of people emotionally is much more a learned reflex than a natural instinct and hours seem quite excessive. This bridge of what you had to learn is clear when you realize that your own needs are much simpler. Interactions out of sheer empathy and social etiquette are actually tedious, while for others it seems to be enough motivation. To be evident, it is asking yourself how much is enough to talk about the day and how you are doing before mentioning the discovery of gravitational waves!
You have a different range of interests and wonder why people have no content. Social codes take longer to be absorbed and nuances are not understood. You feel like a foreigner in your own culture or even an extraterrestrial. People come to gossip, do you remember that person we used to now back them? Obviously hated you or liked you! But it falls on your head like a discovery.
Much greater range of skills and disabilities. You naturally feel much better in certain aspects of learning, coordination and specific interests such as tennis, sports, subjects. While other things seem incredibly more difficult.
This is a very informal answer that runs away from the forms of autism because the internal perspective is this: a personality that does not fit in and opposed to adapting automatically but that is not quite natural at heart.
Seek help if necessary and do not try to diagnose anyone (it is not up to you unless you are a close / responsible child) but be sensitive to each other's differences.
|
aspergers
|
Me and my SO have had it quite hard the last few days with our 6y old who is diagnosed with ADHD. He is now using methylphenidate for almost a year. Every change in medication/dosage I subscribe here, has been suggested and advised by his child-psychiatrist. We started with a low dose of 2\*2.5mg of Medikinet because that is the only brand that delivers it as 5mg so we only need to break it in halve. After a while we raised the dose to 5mg as the effects were still too low and started with Ritalin because that's the only methylphenidate brand that is paid back by our social care system. After a few months we tried to lower the dose again to 2.5mg because he is still young so switched back to Medikinet. This again showed that the dose was too low so we switched back to 5mg. When our prescriptions were used, we changed back to Ritalin because it's cheaper due to social health care. We are now 2 weeks back on Ritalin and see that our child is very moody. Every question from our side to do a certain task is followed by big drama. Falling on the floor, crying, making the task impossible for himself, shouting when asked a question etc. This has been going on for a few days and has taken it's toll on my SO and me, stress levels are high. He has always had these kind of tantrums, but the intensity and frequency is higher then normal.
TL;DR: We are searching what could be a reason for this sudden change in mood/behaviour. Although both Ritalin and Medikinet use the same active component (methylphenidate ), is it possible that it has a different effect on his mood? For clarity both of the brands are used in the regular form (not slow release).
|
ADHD
|
i no longer feel like i am attracted to women. i used to think i am a pedo becasue i used to prefer women with shaved pussy. i never had problem with women with trimmed pussy. now when i see a women, i suddenly feel like she is going to have a disguising pussy and suddenly a disguising pussy pops into my head and i suddenly start to feel like i am no longer attracted to women with hair in their pussy. i am so worried that it might just continue. i am also not feeling attracted to big boobs of women that i used to attracted to . please someone help me
|
OCD
|
The morning after I woke up from my first dose of celebrex for my arthritis, I immediately went to Google and sure enough, it turns out that celebrates is known to and is under investigation for direct on label prescribing for anxiety, agitation, and situational depression.
In my case I feel a sense of peace and Hope that have been lacking for decades and through many many med changes this agitation within my mind has never responded so quickly or so well.
There is plenty of scientific, peer-reviewed publication of this effect, it is an NSAID so there is no chance of dependency or long-term tolerance build up.
And it makes my knees feel great ✍️😁
|
aspergers
|
Anyone else no longer able to see the list of related subs down to the right? AsperGirls, AspieGirls etc.
|
aspergers
|
My tip is don't see a band/singer in their own country. Patriotic + alcohol = screaming and lots of extra noise
I've noticed this from the performances I've seen, most notably the band Garbage I saw in Glasgow. The singer is Scottish and I noticed everytime she said the word "Scotland" or "Scottish" the crowd go berserk, in particular a drunk woman behind me who literally screamed each time. The singer of course realises this and really milks it for some cheap extra applause- "I'm Scottish, it's so good to be in Scotland, it's so good to see all you Scottish people. Scottish audiences are the best!" etc
Same happened with Texas which also has a Scottish singer.
Yet if an artist isn't Scottish and plays in Scotland, the audience don't really respond when they announce where they are from which is better if you don't want to hear screaming everytime the artist talks inbetween songs.
|
aspergers
|
I suffer from Depression, Anxiety, ADD. While I'm privileged in many ways, my life has not been easy. I lost a parent to cancer in my teens which fucked me up real good. I've lost friends to death and just the general bullshit of busy day-to-day life. I've lost other people who felt more like family than actual family. I'm now losing my other parent to a terminal illness. I've made bad financial decisions too so I'm broke as shit. And all of this trauma and bad decisions have compounded over the years where everything is an uphill battle.
And through it all, I'm still here. And I'm proud of myself for that. More than that, I'm fighting and I'm not giving up. Or trying to, at least.
But I swear, it seems the more that I fight/try and pursue what I want to do, the more external obstacles pop up. I use "external obstacles" because I fully expect that pursuing new endeavours or pursuing current endeavours even further will force you into obstacles you haven't yet faced. I'm making my peace with that. But it seems every time I reach a new milestone, there's a new obstacle in my life completely unrelated to what I'm pursuing. Just another bullshit thing in the way on top of the obstacles that occur as part of my career/hobby pursuits.
I lost my job because of the pandemic. I had to move out of the city that really felt like home because I no longer could afford to (on top of being scammed) because I couldn't find a job. I then had to mooch off my sister in her town that was nowhere near any of my friends (but I am grateful that I did have that safety net. I do recognize my good fortune in that regard). I then had to decline the first job offer after 350+ applications back in that city because 1) their advertised benefits turned out to be horseshit and 2) I needed to move to a completely new city to my parents' to be their caretaker.
Now I'm trying to be a caretaker for my dying parent and a (step)parent who works way too much and can't take care of the household. I'm trying to do it right and take time for myself. I'm trying to find a social life and friends and opportunities here. Except I hate this city because there don't appear to be those opportunities! I have friends who used to live here and moved away for this exact reason. I don't have much faith that I'll find the diamond(s) in the rough.
And now, my new "friends" aren't forgiving of the fact that I've had to cancel plans because of the whole caretaking thing?! So now I'm dealing with this hesitation to even try to make new friends? Never mind a romantic relationship either.
I'm fine with a fight to build a life for what I want. Nothing good ever came easy, blah blah blah. I get it. But I'm so tired of just all the bad luck and the shitty things that happen on top of it. I'm tired of having to manifest twice the amount of hope as other people. I'm tired of being jealous of my friends who have a "boring" life. I'm tired of just not feeling gratitude for what I have because it feels like the moment I feel gratitude, the universe will sense it and come take it away. I'm tired of always feeling like I'm a wet blanket. I'm tired of not reaching out to my friends because of that. I'm tired of not being able to be a positive force in their life.
I'm just so tired.
|
depression
|
I grew up in a rough neighborhood, and I’ve seen all types of things from murders right in front of me, my mother being beaten by men, and even almost having been shot in my head. But you know I moved to the suburbs a few years ago and I don’t really have to worry about those things anymore. But I still react to everything like I’m in the field. For example, if I’m parked I’ll watch my mirrors looking for any type of danger. Or if fire works go off I hit the floor thinking it’s a gun going off. What I’m getting at is, I’m in a relationship and it’s great I love my girl, but she doesn’t understand why I’m so silent and why I don’t communicate. It’s so hard for me to do these things. Then she gets mad at me and I repeatedly tell her that the things I’ve been through has lead me to be silent because I felt weak. Like she grew up with both her parents in the suburbs, sheltering her, loving her, teaching her to communicate her feelings. I couldn’t even get a look from my mother as a child, and my father was never around. So I grew up alone and traumatized. Why is it so hard to move on and be normal?
|
ptsd
|
My life has been shit. Right from childhood, from getting molested as a child by uncles and having parents that never believed me to fleeing from home as a teenager because my father won’t stop physically assaulting me for refusing to put on the hijab. Now as a 26 year old, I am tired of trying and hoping things would get better because it never does. I’m about to be homeless with a toddler and I’m mentally ready to check out because the voice in my head has never been this loud until now, but at the same time I feel sorry for my little daughter and what’s going to become of her when I’m no longer here.
|
depression
|
TW: Flashbacks? I'm new at this, sorry
My supposed best friend texted me that, about five minutes ago.
The reaction in my body was fucking instantaneous, my shoulders tensed, my mouth got that dry bitter taste, my stomach twisted into knots and before I knew I was crying tears were streaming down my face, it went fucking dark for a second and my knees locked so fast I got dizzy.
I haven't heard anyone say that to me in a long time, not since everything happened, months before the PTSD diagnosis, and he fucking knows that because the 'everything' I referred to is something we were subjected to together.
I begged him, pleaded with him to stop saying things like that to me, I asked him why, and he said "I don't want you to feel alone..."
Everyone I know has told me to cut him out of my life, but what they don't understand is that I can't, because maybe he's right.
I feel ridiculous posting this, I'm sorry. But what the fuck am I supposed to do now?
|
ptsd
|
Hi everyone,
Recently I was on this subreddit and saw a post by someone who mentioned that their religious OCD ultimately may have interfered with their faith in God.
I was really sorry to read that; I have personally suffered from religious OCD as well, and I know it can be incredibly challenging and upsetting.
However, for anyone who reads this and is suffering, and to anyone who perhaps is questioning their faith as a result, I wanted to offer words of encouragement from 1 Peter chapter 1:
"There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for a while. These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold - and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold."
Whatever you're going though at this moment, I truly hope OCD doesn't come between you and your faith; the later is too important.
I think OCD tends to cling to the things we value most, if not our worst fears. However, we can't give up those things that matter most to us, neither to alleviate our compulsions, nor (in a vain attempt) to quiet our intrusive thoughts. I hope you all find peace this holiday season, whatever your fears may be.
|
OCD
|
Hi guys, I really, really need to vent. Last year, this time, I found a decent therapist and got a lot of medication, which seemed to work well. However, covid came and my life turned into an absolute hellhole. I have ocd, bpd and adhd combined with depression. Covid made all of them a hundred times worse, everything went to absolute shit. I can't function properly. I can't go through each day without intrusive thoughts taking over me. I cannot study properly, cannot focus on anything, I can't even do online classes properly because I just keep zoning out and I just can't control it. There's so much going on and I don't even know where to start. My therapist isn't working and my parents won't let me change. Mental health services aren't exactly at the best place in the country I live in. I have college admissions coming up, and I can't seem to focus on studies or my future without getting consumed by suicidal thoughts. I've lost all will to live. I just need some guts, to finally end my life. That's all I want. My parents have been toxic to me in a lot of ways. And I just keep getting into these fights with my mum which push me to the point where I have to hurt myself in order to stay calm. I can't do this anymore, I can't live like this. Covid got much better earlier this year, which sparked some hope, but now it's worse than ever. It's just terrible. We've been on lockdown for weeks now, and I don't know for how many weeks this will go on. I'm sick and tired of this, I'm gonna go insane if I keep staying home all the time like this, with no physical contact with anyone, or in person interaction. It's like, all I'm motivated to do is kill myself. On top of that, I broke up with my boyfriend quite recently and my intrusive and obsessive thoughts have been worse since.
|
OCD
|
Hi everyone!
So long story short, over the past few months I've really started to suspect that all of the things in my life that I have assumed are normal may in fact not be. It strangely enough started when my wife was getting ADHD meme TikToks on her fyp, and we would laugh and say things like "wow, I do that" or "I just thought that was normal".
Fast forward a bit and after really starting to dig in and do some research, learn about other people's symptoms, and generally learn about what ADHD *really* is...I'm pretty sure I have ADHD. Almost absolutely sure. I've had an initial talk with a doctor who agrees with me and I have a second visit with her early next week.
My biggest question going forward now is: what should I expect? Everything from the diagnosis itself to possibly medication, I'm unsure about. Is testing different dosages of medication hard, or does it make you not feel like yourself? Should my wife be prepared for any strange behavioral changes? That kind of thing.
I wouldn't say that I'm worried or scared, but just a little apprehensive about this (possible) next step.
|
ADHD
|
I [18f] was diagnosed with ADHD seemingly out of the blue when I was 17. I have really struggled with understand it and coping and knowing what to do. I get frustrated when I think of all the support I missed out as a kid, given that I had pretty much finished school by the time I had a clue as to why it was so damn hard. I really just want to understsnd why my emotions are so insane all the time, why I get ideas stuck in my head and my thoughts get super blaringly loud sometimes. I'm not suffering, I just get stuck on the subject occasionally.
When I say the diagnosis was out of the blue, I really mean that: I attended like 4 sessions with a new person who immediately knew to diagnose me. Every opinion after that has agreed. I just dont know what direction to go with it. I feel like i will never be successful because i can't stick to anything ever, and that scares me. Why am I so crazy? Anyone with their own stories, I would love to read them.
|
ADHD
|
I’ve failed my driving test.
I have worked 1 week in advance for this driving test, sadly I failed, by 1 mark (80% to pass and I got 78%). My friends had been telling me all day how easy it was and how I would not fail, but eagerness got over me and I was not able to pass. I had no patience and I rushed the test. I want to die.
My dad is disappointed and won’t even look at me and I’m lying to everyone as if I’ve passed the test. I can’t even get out of my bed. I feel as though I’m worthless and won’t amount to anything.
|
depression
|
For those of you who have struggled with the need of constant validation, how have you coped with this?
|
depression
|
Im just fed up and unbelievably tired and I have no one in my personal life that I can say that too other than therapists. And my therapists have been with me for 7 years but I should be getting better. But I am not. I dont know what to do. Been inpatient, doing outpatients, I am medicated. But I see no end. Im constantly dissociated and not in the zoned out way, in the my brain isnt processing anything and its gone and I totally forget what happens during the day and I am on autopilot. I am just tired.
|
ptsd
|
I have diagnosed ocd and recently it’s been more sexual themed like it started with HOCD, then switched to POCD but now it’s mostly focusing on ZOCD (it switches back and forth a lot). I will have ZOCD for like a day and then it’ll go away and switch back to POCD. But recently it’s been sticking to ZOCD and made me increasingly distressed about it.
Basically I fear being a zoophile and that I’m attracted to my dog or something. It’s caused me to feel anxiety and guilt every time I look at my dog or go to pet him and second guess every time I touch or pet or give him kisses that I had some sort of ulterior motive. It’s become a little trigger every time I see him and I hate it. Whenever I saw him before It would make me happy and I’d talk in that baby voice you talk in when speaking to cute animals haha and give him pets. But now every time I see him I feel my stomach drop/ I think “you’re a disgusting zoophile and your dog is your victim” and it just ruins it all.
So basically what I’m particularly freaking out about is a few minutes ago (it’s the middle of the night right now) I turned around and saw my dog laying on the couch and I can’t remember if I got my usual trigger that happened whenever I look at him or if I didn’t but then I think I possibly had like the thought of being able to do something to him cuz I was alone with him. But half of me thinks that I got my usual trigger of anxiety when I looked at him, and my brain came up with anxieties and worries thinking like “what if I did something to him? I would be able to what if I did that? What if I wanted to do that?” Etc. Etc. But then another part of me is horrified that the anxiety didn’t come first. That what came first was a desire to do something to him. And I simply got anxious by it. And now I’m having an anxiety attack because I can’t have 100% certainty of what it was and I can’t know and there’s this possibility that I wanted to do this situation will only further fuel my ZOCD (or possible zoophilia and me just being in denial) because I’ll remember this time and my brain will use it as proof that I’m a zoophile and I’ll never be able to move past this.
I remember physically feeling the anxiety/stomach drop feeling right when I looked at him so I think those thoughts were caused by my ocd. But what if it wasn’t? What if I wanted to do that? My ocd has caused false attraction before so I really can’t tell and it’s scaring me I hate this
|
OCD
|
I realized at my last doctor's appointment that I've had some anxiety from my ADHD not being fully helped with the 36mg, and they increased it to 54mg. I've noticed a significant increase better in attention span and memory, yet a downside is that I've become more irritable and moody.
My partner and other people in my life have noticed it, and are concerned, yet I've found my focus and memory to be WAY better than it was and my appetite has decreased. I was put on Remeron a couple of months ago to help the anxiety, also partly caused by Concerta increases, and the only downside of that for me was the increased appetite and weight gain.
Remeron is helping with the anxiety spike in the past two Concerta increases and with my depression, and the Concerta is helping with ADHD and reducing that Remeron side-effect. The only thing I don't like about the 54mg Concerta is that I'm more irritable and moody, which is difficult to contain and resulting in self-Isolation out of not wanting to snap at anybody.
I have an appointment with my psychiatrist next month and I'm gonna tell them I want to stay on Concerta 54mg and ask if there's anything that can be done to help with the irritability. What's the best way to manage this kind of irritability in meantime, in your opinions?
|
ADHD
|
I want to share some of my personal coping strategies that helped me on my healing journey.
First, I started caring. A lot. I made sure to follow an instruction how to nurture myself and others. Like those instruction on the airplane videos, put your mask first and put the mask on the person that needs help. I radically embraced my humanity. So, I set two goals, caring for myself, and caring for others. Both hard, the first, because I am almost on my own, I have one distant friend, that can help me to a point. Second, because people are often evil, and take advantage of my need to nurture. Quite the standoff. I will share my first tool in slashing this knot.
Focusing on need. Maslow defined survival needs, such as safety, food and water, and health. And growth needs such as Sex, Love, Self-expression, and Transcendence. I see myself as a Sim character with which I am playing. I have to make sure all my stats are full.
How I am doing so far?
Safety: I say decent. My situation is quite flaky, I am stuck far away from home, and the borders are closed, so that's not ideal. I am surrounded by nasty people, so still, not ideal. But I am relatively safe, meaning no immediate physical danger, I need to just be on my guard and gtfo, when the situation gets tense. So, my hyper-vigilance sure comes in handy. I will have future symptoms to cure, when all this is finished. So, I am looking forward to July, when I \*cross fingers\* fly home.
Food and water: Complicated, and takes a lot of energy. My "kitchen" is a gas stove, and a suitcase, when I keep my food. I live in a tent. On the beach. Which is awesome. Food is expensive, and cooking is complicated. But I am eating good and nutritious, the food is excellent quality. Just takes time, and lots of energy. Which I not always have. Water is also complicated. I have to boil it, I cannot afford to buy it. And tap water is undrinkable.
Health: Not ideal. I just relapsed for a two weeks, and I am dealing with nasty abstinence. They are selling real strong codeine in the supermarket like candy. That's a bit too much, eh? I am doing decent now, staying away from that, as much as I can. I smoke a lot of pot, which helps. Everybody grows here, it's cheap and ubiquitous, so I am not drinking, which is good. And the whole PTSD/DID thing. Which I am using the CPT handbook to cope, among many other things. But this post is all about needs.
End mark: My survival is not ideal. I am quite in survival mode.
Growth needs:
I think we have to try to fill all our stats, it's not hierarchy. The more points we can gather, the more chances we have.
Love: My heart is broken in a million pieces. I am not exactly doing ok in the love department. But I love two dogs. They are boy friend and girlfriend. I will get to them later.
Sex: Pf... I can't even masturbate lately. The whole abstinence and codeine thing sure killed my sex drive. I am getting there, though. One step at a time.
Self-expression: I am fine. I have a diary, have long walks, I day dream a lot. I am practically in my own world. I love music. Black Sabbath mostly lately.
Belonging: Unfortunately, apart from that distant friend, I don't give a shit about the humans around me. All of them are dicks. So, I have those two dogs that are my friends. But apart from that I am lone wolfing.. I am searching for some humans, who think like me.
Transcendence: I dislike organized religion, so I have a simple alter of a postcard of a fallen angel. I am big fan of Lucifer, the series and the angel. The series are such a waste of good material. They had to fill it with stupid drama. Argh. What tragedy. Anyway. I have some rose incense, that I use for Pavlov training. Pavlov training is for another post. Also, huge fan of the Spaghetti Church. If I had to pledge allegiance to one church, it would be that one. Also, I like to ponder on the essence of death, of nothingness, of mathematical chaos. And to watch supernatural. Same as Lucifer, though. Great source material, just so bad execution. This is a crime of art. I am pretty fine in this department. I have my faith, my own version any way, I believe in spirituality. So, this need is decently covered.
So, all in all, I am doing decent. The biggest drawback is that I need to fly home. This is really a huge problem. Being stuck here for the long term is very very bad.
Who I care for now?
Those two dogs. They are super cute. The bigger one looks like a tiger, the smaller one is a black hound. They love eachother, play with eachother. They have been healing me from my dog phobia. I am very scared of dogs. Still, but those two doggos, they tamed me. First, it was the tiger doggo, he was just following me around, and I was freaking out and going in the sea. He swam to me... I was like, wtf, leave me alone. I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND. The black one, she is smaller, came to me a couple of times just to lick my foot and disappear. After a while, I understood that we can be friends.
They were totally cute, we started slow. I just petted them for a while, slow and scared. They would come at me, all excited and jumping, I would freeze, and they would tone down a bit, and just stay still and demand pets.
Now, we are best buds. They jump on me, I watch them play. They are so damn adorable. I try my best to play with them and take care of them.
Here comes the tragedy, the owner is a total dick, so he is throwing them away. The only owner is a total bitch, and she will keep only the black hound, put it in a silly costume and keep it in her apartment, her boyfriend will end up in a dog shelter, where he will get killed off.
I don't have much options, I can kidnap them, and bring them to another beach. But that's too risky. As you read, my situation is flaky. I need to take care of my mask. All I do know, is cherish the time, we have left together. This will be a new heartbreak.
​
What do you all think? Anyone interested in making a group, where we follow up on our needs and other stuff?
|
ptsd
|
I’m a psychology doctoral student and I have a strong feeling that I have ADHD. I’ve been experiencing symptoms for my whole life, but was brushed off because I have gotten good grades and am clearly in a successful position. Recently, my previous ways of coping (which historically consisted of a lot of procrastination and using anxiety as a motivator) hasn’t been working because PhD tasks have vague deadlines and little structure. I have been finding it extremely hard to structure my own time and to find motivation/maintain focus at the level I need to to be successful.
I don’t want to list out all of my symptoms here, but knowing the diagnostic criteria as a practicing graduate clinician- I really do feel that there is at least good reasoning to consider that this is what I might be experiencing. I also am fairly certain I can rule out depression and anxiety because I have actively been working on that for years and do not face any symptoms besides the attention/task completion/impulsive symptoms.
Anyway, I was referred by an old psychologist that I no longer can see for adhd testing and she also said that it makes sense for me. I went to the psychological interview today for testing and had a completely horrible experience. I can tell he really felt that I was more or less making it up so I can get the medication to use as a study drug. He also heard that I had divorced parents and spent the majority of the interview asking about my family and heavily implied that my symptoms are “family problems” related. He spent very very little time asking me about what I am experiencing right now. By the end it was clear he had written me off and was not listening to my experience and would not help me moving forward.
I’m feeling really humiliated and discouraged moving forward. Because I am a psych student my local testing options are severely limited due to having relationships with many of the local clinicians. Also, many of the tests are not valid for me because I work with them as a job. Due to his harsh reaction, I’m scared to bring it up to anyone I know for advice. Has anyone experienced something like this?
|
ADHD
|
One of the standard signs of ADHD in both children and adults is working memory impairment. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 20. These problems were worse when I was a teenager but they continue to persist. I started medication a few months ago, and the first thing I noticed was that my working memory significantly improved. Before this, I could only sustain a proper working memory during certain times of the day, when I am exceptionally invested in what I am doing(this is really rare), or by way of various kinds of bizarre mechanisms that I've created for myself over the years, like pacing around very fast, shadow-boxing or giving myself jolts of pain. I can't do many of these things in the setting of the classroom. Often, it is frustrating to even sit in a classroom for more than half an hour.
In fact, I find it a miracle that I have even come this far with so many of the issues that have not been diagnosed since my childhood. I currently study mathematics at a top public school, taking some difficult graduate classes and starting off on some research. At a certain level in mathematics, working memory is very crucial, more than in most other fields. There are some parts of the day where I can manage to do math, and in other times, I somehow get through with an assortment of seemingly unscientific 'tricks' as mentioned above.
The only thing that has saved me is that I am rather relentless. I have always been so as I grew into my adolescence. I realized I had a serious talent for mathematics and that it was a direction I could pursue. Not just this, but many of my other goals/desires as well.
I started taking medication(i.e Adderall XR) a few months ago and it has been a seriously effective help especially in regards to working memory. But I still wish to know what others who choose not to take medication do to combat working memory issues. Does anything genuinely help for a sustained period of time?
Is there any relevant research done on the effects of working memory for people with ADHD that someone could refer me to? I have so far only read a bunch random articles off a Google search.
|
ADHD
|
Hi,
When I get immersed into a topic I like, something that really gets me, I am uncapable to switch it off my mind. I work from home all the time and it is practically impossible for me to work now. Do you have any tips how to overcome this?
Thanks.
|
aspergers
|
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