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Disclaimer!: (I did not write this article or conduct any of the referenced studies)
Nothing in the article or any article should ever replace speaking to a healthcare professional about your physical or mental health.
That being said. This is the kind of stuff I like to read in my free time.
nERDY scientific articles and journals.
I guess that's one of my goto dopamine bumps. Learning/ understanding something new.
I'm taking the Information in the article as something to discuss with my Doctor about considering in combination with my meds and therapy.
Here's the link https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4757677/ | ADHD |
My step-son were diagnosed with Asperger. He is eleven and he has some difficult to do simple tasks. I wanna help him to learn how to do it by himself.
Is there a way or method to help him? | aspergers |
I recently read about rsd but there is a few things that I relate to but I don’t know if it’s that or the trauma I stuffered from as a child.
I am 23 F that had friends when I was younger in school. Then I got overweight and started having insecurities. A few are that I think people don’t like me because of my weight, I get nervous if people don’t text me back, I have moved schools every 6 months and the longest school I stayed at was 2 years but they were like home schools so not a big choice of people. After I left school and when to university I made friends but then I moved cities and then Covid hit.
Anyway a little back story. My father was an addict and my mom left him when I was 6. So I have abandonment issues from that but then he came back and got close to my brother and not me and I felt rejected. He emotional abused me sometimes. After I put on weight I was bullied a lot and as I got older I started being very insecure so I don’t know if this is rsd or just from the experiences I have had. | ADHD |
Is it ocd to have to eat slices of bread and sandwiches the same way every time?
BTW
I'm diagnosed ocd | OCD |
I’m a graduate student and this semester has been pretty tough since it’s been online entirely (thanks rona). This week I had my 2 final assignments all due and I’ve had to attempt to plan them out/complete them in a short amount of time since we had smaller assignments due as well all the way up until the end of classes. I managed to complete the first 2 assignments both due this Monday but I just can’t bring it to finish this last essay. It was due tonight and I’ve only done 1 page out of 15. I don’t even know if I can finish it by tomorrow because I just can’t bring myself to do it. I tried asking for an extension but my prof wouldn’t give me one without a doctor’s note and I’m currently not diagnosed with anything so I’m out of luck (also pisses me off how she would always talk about how she feels bad, empathizes with the student struggle yet is the harshest marker I have and can’t even allow an extension).
I’m getting a psych evaluation once my semester is over finally but it just makes me so angry and upset being in this shitty position :( I pretended like I finished in my class group chat because I just feel so ashamed about it. | ADHD |
Hey everyone!
I'm wondering if anyone relates to this or has advice/tips to deal with it. I started exercising (weight lifting and cardio) again (I've ALWAYS hated it my whole life) because so many tell me it's good for ADHD.
I think it makes my ADHD a million times worse. Every time I exercise (no matter how light the exercise seems to be) the muscle soreness the next day is so distracting that it's literally impossible for me to accomplish any work. The muscular tension literally drives me crazy. It makes me want to rip my legs and arms off and throw them in the trash. They're all I can notice/pay attention to/focus on, no matter how much I try to distract myself. Hell, even when I get super drunk, it still bothers me.
Does anyone have any advice/tips or empathy for this? I can't keep exercising at this rate, even though I know it's good for me (or supposed to be). | ADHD |
Hey. I don't know if this is weird or insensitive, but... I have some people in my life (friends or almost-friends, sometimes girlfriends/casual hookups) who love talking to me about their traumas.
Like at least once a year I hear some big traumatic event that happened to someone I know and it's just.. too much. Rape, violence, kidnapping, entrapment...
I like that people can trust me. But when I hear their traumatized experiences, I feel extremely sad and it deeply affects my emotional state.
It may be distorting my outlook on life too. Like, I think the world is full of terrible people, violent rapists or manipulative psychopaths etc.
Most of them say they never told it to anybody else before. I'm usually quiet and respectful and I guess I have an aura of trust or something. Again, I think people trusting me with their darkest secrets is great and if it helps them I'm happy to listen. But it's just so overwhelming.
I feel like it's somehow related to my autism. Does anybody here have that problem? Do you think it happens to allistics/NTs too?
I also think most of these people might be NDs so their problems in society are bigger and darker compared to NTs? but I'm not sure. They sure have depression, PTSD etc but none were officially ND. It may also be that they themselves are on the spectrum and therefore cannot think how it's going to affect me? I don't know... I would love some input about this. Should I have more superficial relationships so they don't trust me with their traumas? Or is being a go-to person for traumas is a good thing? If so what can I do to release the weight of all these trauma stories on me? I sometimes just wanna say "I'm not your therapist so don't dump your traumas on me"... | aspergers |
Really wish I had money, it really does make life easier I currently have a job but most of my money goes to food and rent! I thought about doing sex work since but it’s so risky. Being broke and depressed is reality shifting asf. Idk what to say idk why I’m even typing this. My kittens are the only things keeping me alive | depression |
This happened like an hour ago. I rent my home and the landlord is aware and reported the incident to the county sheriff. My anxiety is off the charts. I've been looking for a therapist again (haven't been to one in about 2 years and never for PTSD specifically) but haven't found one yet. I'm not on meds, either.
Idk what to do or how to act right now. I'm just angry, anxious, and afraid of what's coming. I want to move. Like tomorrow.
ETA: oh man, I just realized how this might look to people.. I'm not saying this incident gave me PTSD (though it could). I have diagnosed PTSD from my childhood, as well as a car accident when I was 17. The incident this morning has obviously caused a major upswing with my symptoms, and now I'm actually thinking I may heave another contributing trauma in the form of my dog's passing this year (I've been having flashbacks and am feeling like I desperately need her in order to feel safe - makes no sense since she was 6lbs, blind, and missing a bunch of teeth). Anyway, I'm struggling and I'm honestly looking to get this out whatever I can since that seems to help for me. I'm sorry for rambling on, but thanks to those reading and offering support. | ptsd |
Recently I’ve started playing Jedi fallen order again. It’s one of the most addictive games I’ve ever played! I love going around and exploring lots of the planets for secrets and upgrades that can be unlocked in hidden areas. In general it’s quite a fun game. What have you been playing? | aspergers |
I knew she was nice so it wouldn't be a problem, but she was lovely about it! She said she was proud of me for being so honest with her and she said she will help to make sure that my workload doesn't overwhelm me and so I flourish in the way they, and I, want me to.
Just a lovely moment that made me feel really nice and positive!
Background - was promoted 3 months ago into a role (new career direction) having been successful in my job. The last 3 months have been chaotic, stressful and hard, but I have received compliments about my approach and the progress I am making. New boss took over that team 1 month ago. Only people that know of my aspergers are my boss from 3 years ago (in the same company) and HR. | aspergers |
I know some people will probably say “There is no template, just be yourself” or “Don’t worry about what others think”, but this has been pretty unhelpful alongside “Someone will come to you one day”
After struggling to connect with people after following this advice, sometimes one has to wonder if they’re the problem rather than brushing it off and believing others are
So, for those of you who have had success with this, what has ended up working? | aspergers |
My mom got this priest to the house to pray for us and I’m not a very religious person but he prayed for about 3 hours and his final message was that God told me that I shouldn’t sleep anywhere other than my home, like it was a warning. He said something very bad would happen to me if I did. I recently started college and I was out with my friend, I missed my train and so I kind of went against my moms rules and decided to sleep at my friends house, before that though we smoked a bit and I had the worst sexual intrusive thought ever in my life, I thought my old intrusive thoughts were bad but this one was so real, it felt like I genuinely wanted to masturbate to the thought, the weirdest part though is my genitals didn’t move at all but it felt so real and I can’t help but think it was because of that warning, I had a terrible experience and now I’m dealing with so much regret guilt and anxiety, this is making me extremely suicidal man, even worse is my mom told me I shouldn’t come home because I disobeyed the priest, I’m all sorts of messed up right now, I should’ve just went home | OCD |
I’m curious. Does everybody feel sympathy and/or sorrow for all those that refused to get vaccinated? | aspergers |
TL;DR- dad lacks sympathy with my trauma and insists I act a certain way to make his SO feel more comfortable when I don’t feel safe in my home
Parents finalized their divorce when I was 12. It was then that I was immediately having to coparent for an abled father and brother. Of course, I didn’t know this until I was older. Arguably, my brother was around 8 w/o a mom around so I was the only womanly figure living in the household.
It’s been 7 years and dad has a new SO who’s about to move in next month. I didn’t get therapy until about a year ago and just started back Tuesday after 6 months. So I’m still dealing with trauma and “getting over it” is easier said than done. I figured as a therapist who diagnoses and treats people with trauma and mental illness that he’d be understanding of my situation. But with his history of narcissism, it was clear that he only cared about himself.
I’m at an age where I can leave if I so want to, it’s a matter of trusting the people I’m living with and also negotiating with my brother on how things are going to happen. I told my therapist I’d give it a week of her living here, but my anxiety is beating my ass and when she has stayed here, I’ve gotten emotional flashbacks. It’s looked the same since my mom was here, and much of her belongings are still here too. With memories of what it was like before the divorce, I can’t help but freak out and feel violated in my own home.
Help? | ptsd |
Hello everybody, I decided to post here because frankly I think that I'm spiraling down and I need a place to start to find answers. Also I apologize if my English isn't perfect 'cause it isn't my first language etc.
I started to question if I have OCD some days ago because my intrusive thoughts are literally taking over my life. I had them before, but this time they're getting really bad, especially because my reaction whenever I get them is to try to "solve" them and to find a reason why I'm having them, if they're real or not, which really make me feel like an horrible person that doesn't deserve to be around the people I love (or people in general). Over the years I tried to find something that could make a sense out of my feeling of being "wrong", but I never took OCD into consideration because I didn't do the streotypical things associated to it like compulsions relating to cleanliness and such, but upon some more research I found more things that actually resonate with me. As for compulsions, I don't know if this could count as such but here goes: since childhood I have to hold a pen -preferably a specific kind, bacuse others don't have the right "balance" and it feels wrong, Idk if this makes sense- and twist it around my thumb and index. I literally have to bring one of my pens with me everywhere because if I don't do this I'll get very stressed out and uneasy (again, I don't know if this counts as an OCD complusion but to this day I don't know why I do it, I actually feel a bit stupid for writing it).
Back to intrusive thoughts, which for me are of various nature (i will not discuss them since they make me extremely uncomfortable and coupd be very triggering) and since I always try to find a reason for them I get really distressed beacuse I need to find some sort of confirmation that these are indeed just thoughts that my brain for some reason is sending me and not actually a part of I am. I also have a big problem with false memories/alteration of memories.
I spend all my days trying to figure out what I'm feeling and what impact the thoughts have on my body and I'm so tired of picking apart everything that I do and thinking that I'm faking it and that I truly am that fucked up. Just as I'm writing this and I'm feeling better for venting I'm actually feeling guilty for being a little better and I don't know what to do anymore.
I'm sorry this turned into a massive wall of nonsense. | OCD |
I recently realized that while I get really interested by a lot of various topics and can hyperfixate on pretty much anything, my main/most redundant hyperfixations are all focused around the same themes. Like I can get interested in many things but my default mode is pretty much always focused around similar things. Is it common in ADHD to have a sort of fixed/restricted type of interests ? I know it's pretty common in autism but I don't think I'm autistic so is it a shared trait between ASD and ADHD or is it just me ? I'm genuinely curious. | ADHD |
I feel like I’ve died. Life has kicked me in the dirt and spat on me for the last five years in a row. I’ve lost all ambition, drive, energy, optimism or any sort of satisfaction out of life. If I’m not working I’m at home doing nothing and sustaining myself at either a bare minimum level or slightly above on “good days”. I feel like my brain is off and I can’t think about anything…ever. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life and this is definitely the worst it’s ever been, not sure how much longer I can go on tbh | depression |
i dont have covid but I CAN'T FUCKING LISTEN OR TAKE IT ANYMORE FROM ANYONE!!!!!!!!! everywhere is compromised, the internet everything. this pandemic is making me SUFFER! The world has changed radically and i am starting to feel the same way as i do in my depressive episodes. usually my depressive episodes only exist within me, but now they are REAL, they are happening to the whole world, it's almost like my deepest and darkest obsessive/depressive traits that are native to me are now a global pandemic. It feels like those thoughts and worries and episodes have come to life. It feels like that bad dream is no longer a dream but happening in real life. I feel massive dissociation and if i have another nervous breakdown for 10 days, i will seriously consider finally taking action by OD'ing, i am sick of delaying and never attempting.
It's like i am having a bad dream, i am seriously sick and tired of this. they cancelled my favorite sports, wrestling has no crowds, every stocks are gone, everybody is dying and i am so on edge that i just want to kill myself and hopefully return as a ghost in the future to see how we beat this. the dissociation and flashbacks of my previous episodes is too hard to deal with.
ALSO FOR THOSE WHO ARE THICK, I WON'T KILL MYSELF SO STOP WORRYING! I AM TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO ATTEMPT SUICIDE. | ptsd |
You have no idea how much I loved him. I miss him so much and sometimes I break down crying before going to bed because I was so oblivious to the fact that he was dying.
I was too young to know about cancer and he had severe cancer and kept going in and out of remission so I thought, on his death bed, that he would get better. He didn’t.
I’m a person to joke about my trauma but I genuinely miss him. He was my favorite parent. Even though I still have both my biological parents living I have still lost a parent.
My younger half-sister likes to downplay it because he’s not my “biological father” while he was her bio dad. I don’t say anything though because, she does have a point, I still do have my bio father while she doesn’t. I feel like she has resentment towards me because I am the oldest and when he passed she was *6 years old* while I was *10 years old*, and I knew him all my life as well so I have had more time with him. I empathize with my sister but I deeply grieved over the loss of a parent, more than she knows.
I miss my stepdad and the feeling never goes away, it dimmers. And it does get better.
I wish I could talk to him one last time. | depression |
Checked out a book from the public library that my therapist told me to get about being a dolt with ADHD (pretty sure that's how he put it). I'll be darned if it's not the most tattered book I've checked out from the library. And now it might have a blueberry stain to boot. Well anyway, didn't want to keep y'all but I've got to try to make this post enough characters to not get auto deleted. Did I win this time? Time will tell, but there won't be a third try. | ADHD |
I recently went through a breakup that wasn’t mutual after 4 years. This was my person and I felt as thought he was the only one who saw me and understood me. I also went through a lot
Of stuff as a child (verbally abusive father who also had Substance abuse) my brother either jumped out of a 2 story window or was pushed by my father causing him to be a quadriplegic at age 20 and he decided to go off life support causing him to pass. I feel like I am only happy if I’m constantly distracted but my friends can’t provide that to me/I think they’re sick of hearing of me having suicidal ideation and being stuck in this hole. I’ve done an IOP program in the past so weekly therapy & am on Zoloft so idk why I’m just feeling so awful all the time & like it isn’t worth it to keep going. | depression |
i’ve been having these weird, disgusting, uncontrollable thoughts that cause me so much distress, and i have been doing a lot of research lately and i think i might have OCD, i have read a lot of people’s struggles with intrusive thoughts but i’ve never came across someone who has the same or similar thoughts as me, i don’t know how to explain my thoughts but they mainly revolve around wishing something bad to happen to people? (and by bad i mean REALLY bad things) and these people are always the people i love the most like my mom and little brother, but i don’t actually wish for something bad to happen to them! i mean my life would be completely destroyed if something bad happens to them.
so is this OCD or am i actually a bad person? please help me. | OCD |
My current therapist is a nice dude but he honestly has no clue about adhd. Which is odd because I thought they teach licensed therapist about adhd. He thinks it’s a memory issue and suggests me taking more vitamins. He also talks about himself a lot and is kind of creepy (always asking about my fiancé). I don’t really feel a connection and kind of dread seeing him this week. I am not a confrontational person so I am kind of scared of switching to another therapist. Would it be rude to do so? Do you guys have any experience with this? | ADHD |
I messed up. I forgot to renew my medication, and now I’m gonna have to go without it for work today. And possible the weekend and Monday. I live on an island so controlled medications take time to get here.
8 hours of teaching. Needing to stay on task so my students will MAYBE stay on task. On a Friday. Yay. No medication. 3 hours of sleep. This is going to be interesting.
Send me any focus energies you can spare. And coffee. A quite extraordinaire amount of coffee. | ADHD |
I can't slow my head down. My executive functions are garbage. Mentally and physically I am deteriorating.
At one point in my life I was on Adderall but it gave me a fast heart rate and high blood pressure. Also set off my anxiety so it stopped working after that.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't enter my thirties like this I just can't. | ADHD |
I’m mainly just posting this to see what I can learn more about myself. Thank you everyone in advance for reading it means a lot ❤️
So I’m 20m and I’m just kinda coming to terms with a lot of trauma from childhood abuse. I didn’t deal with a lot of physical but it was mainly mental/emotional while my mom sadly got the brunt of the physical issues. I also pretty much had to deal with a lot of financial issues, poverty, moving across states for safety, etc from a young age and kinda has to do a lot to help my mom.
I had a talk with my mom recently and she kinda brought up a lot of stuff that deals with the diagnoses I’ve gotten in the past and how some could be hereditary (ADHD and Depression) while the other (general anxiety) could’ve been caused by what happened in the past alongside multiple emotional issues (anger issues, trust issues, etc) that kinda go under the umbrella of the 3.
Sadly bc of covid I still can’t really afford to see any therapists to get to the bottom of anything, but I was wondering if some of the things I do are possibly from trauma?
I’ve been told by a lot of people, in both positive and negative ways, that I have a very childlike way of acting? The way I talk sometimes, act in certain situations, when I get excited, when I see certain things, etc. I also have really bad trust issues and emotional attachment issues, especially with men. It sucks bc I’m gay too but it’s a feeling that I kinda…need someone to love me but also I’m afraid that I’m too pushy and too emotional and I don’t wanna be overbearing and to someone but then I just have issues in general with men, especially when talking down to me, and it makes me tense up and I get really angry and that scares me bc I don’t wanna blow up in front of someone I love.
I know some things I can attribute to my ADHD but some things I’m just kinda wondering about.
I’m trying to save up as much as I can to go see someone to kinda just understand a lot of things. It’s like anything childlike I hold onto a lot and I love having stuffed animals which I’ve heard could be a good comfort thing under than idea. Like a little safety thing. | ptsd |
3 years ago, I tried to resist a specific ocd compulsion by making a promise to Christian God about not doing and asking for punishment in case breaking it.
Ocd was telling me to return home to get some paper napkins in order to use them for a cleaning compulsion. I tried to make a promise that I wont return home to get other paper napkins in order to use them, etc.
I was trying to use the fear of the punishment to force myself not to do the compulsion. I never meant the promise. I was under ocd anxiety and ocd was not leaving me alone. I wanted some relief and I thought that a promise would be the only way out. So, I tried to make a promise but I think I canceled it before completing it.
I explained Christian God my situation and that it was because of my ocd. I was using the fake promises to trick my ocd and make it shut up. Replacing fear with a bigger fear.
I never did the compulsion. I never break the promise I think. I worry. What if other Gods accepted the promise if Christian God is not real?
Today, Imy head was full of intrusive thoughts about this matter and I wanted to tell Gods that I did not break the promise. So, by repeating stuff about that, I had some uncontrollable images of me and a napkin.
My ocd is telling me that maybe by having these images of the me and the napkin maybe broke the promise. I did not do the compulsion but there were some images of me and the napkin.
These were all thoughts without my will. Do you think I broke the promise?
The canceled promise was about not returning home to get paper napkins in order to use them for a cleaning compulsion (something like that and it was supposed to be only for that moment/circumstance).
I worry that by having these images of me and a napkin (uncontrolable thoughts) maybe broke the promise | OCD |
Feeling lonely, I feel better when I dont really talk to people because it's .. but then there is like this basic human need for some ocial feeling..
I think the most isolating thing for me is that no body I know can really understand the constant suicidal state im in. It feels that way all the time, and I feel like its actually retraumatzing myself and also not going to be good for the friend/acquaintance..
Also has anyone noticed themselves now collecting bottles, having containers in your room, bottles of water oil etc..
I noticed myself doing this | ptsd |
I spent several months compulsively checking my social media profiles and even comment sections on Youtube, Instagram, etc., every morning after waking up and as much as possible during the day, in order to see if I hadn't posted, commented or liked anything I didn't mean to. Same goes to messaging apps.
I managed to partially break this cycle recently, but this morning, I woke up and noticed my phone was unlocked (apparently, I turned off auto lock while multitasking and forgot to reactivate it). And after seeing that the Reddit notification tab was opened, I immediately panicked and went to my account to see if I hadn’t inadvertently added any new posts, which led me to go to every single app on my device ‘just to make sure’.
Honestly, it’s really upsetting to be extremely anxious about this all over again, and I would love to know if there’s anyone else going throught the same thing. | OCD |
I've only recently realised some of my issues might be OCD and only recently given much thought about low self esteem and what effect it can have.. I feel like this is a really bad combination and for me, (recently... don't think I had this specifically before but definitely had similar things) I seem to have developed a complex and am hyper sensitive to any slight condescending or patronising tone from people. I'm obsessed with the idea that everyone views me as pathetic/naive/innocent/stupid. Obsessed to the point it's all I think about 24/7. Even if someone didn't mean something in a patronising way, so it's not even like I can have it out with whoever said the "patronising" thing. As an example a colleague said he viewed me as "delicate". So in my head im thinking "after everything I've been through, is that really how I come across...? As some delicate flower?" Or if someone says I seem innocent I'll think "innocent? But how am I any different from anyone else? I've done a lot of things most people have.. do I come accross that way? Do they mean naive?" Or if someone acts shocked that on a rare occassion I might smoke a cigarette after a few drinks and says "wow, I cant imagine YOU doing that!?" In my head I think "why? Hows it any different to anyone else doing it? Im already weirdly too self conscious to do it infront of most people anyway, or even admit to it (dont know why), now thats been said I'm even MORE self conscious, as if somehow because its me that's what makes it weird? Im 31 how is it so shocking... it's not a big deal? Even though, alot of these things are just because I'm quiet and don't share much sometimes, so of course people are shocked and make assumptions. But I hate it, though its my own fault. So even though I know these things are stupid and I shouldnt care, for the last few weeks I have been obsessing about these things constantly. Going over and over and over old conversations in my head and wishing they had gone differently/I'd expressed myself differently. Wish I could be the loud/confident person I feel I am in my head instead of feeling trapped/suffocated by shyness. I feel mentally unwell because it's so constant and know I shouldn't care about it. All I can think is that it's a combination of low self esteem and ocd. Relationship ocd comes into it too, bacause if my partner says anything like that, or slightly over explains something to me I completely break down in my head. Question my entire personality. Think "why does he think I dont know that.. does he think im stupid?!" So obsessed with thinking he views me as stupid.. naive or that I have limited life experience. Despite the fact he's never, ever implied that or put me down or meant anything in that way. But because I seem to have this complex, I'm noticing it everywhere and taking everything so personally and obsessing about it until it ruins every day. I cant sleep, struggle to get up in the morning, sometimes I'm sick, sometimes i cant eat. Its ridiculous. Sorry for the long comment and I know its quite specific. But has anyone had anything similar and if so, do you have any ways to cope? Or to stop thinking the world views you as an absolute pathetic, idiot child. And to not feel like you always have to "prove" yourself? It's completely destroying me. Why cant i just feel abit annoyed but then let it go? It's all I ever think about. | OCD |
How do you deal with Steam achievements (or other platforms)? I find myself checking games before I buy them to ensure they don’t contain grindy achievements or achievements with 1-5% completion. I want to play them, but I know my OCD will make it impossible to enjoy them due to their nature. I will check every guide before I even play, ruining every ounce of fun. I wish platforms would let you opt out. Anybody have the same problem? | OCD |
Hi all! I am a person diagnosed with major depression and anxiety, and in general I am going better. But, for the past 5-6 days I have not been getting any sleep in the night.. I am awake all night till like 7am and then get sleepy enough to sleep till like 2pm. It’s fine now because I have thanksgiving break but it’s going to be not ideal when i get back to work.
I need some tips/recs about what helped people with normalizing their sleep cycle or preventing insomnia? | depression |
I just feel exhausted. I was in a bad episode for pretty much this entire year with maybe a few weeks break from it on and off every few months, but other than that... yeah, it's been non stop.
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I've just been really struggling with online classes and changes to my routine and all the general pandemic anxiety and uncertainty has only made things worse for me. But now that the Christmas holidays are about to begin I feel like the little security net with lectures and schedules is going to fall apart and everything's going to go back to how it was. Even right now with things feeling a little better, it's only *a little* better and I'm constantly feeling like I'm just one bad day away from sliding back down.
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I'm struggling really badly right now. I can't stand to look at my own reflection because it just feels like I'm looking at an alien or a doll or something that just isn't me and it feels so hideous. I don't recognise myself in it. I look down at my body and it feels more like a puppet than something that belongs to me. I have so little motivation or enjoyment of anything, I'm so worn out physically and emotionally, I feel absolutely disgusting because even hygiene is something I'm struggling with and I'm just completely miserable. I don't want to break down again but it feels inevitable. I don't know what to do. | depression |
Hi r/ADHD,
A few months ago, I was assigned some routine tasks at work to increase my familiarity with these types of problems. I haven’t really done anything to work on any of the problems, and I’m feeling a lot of shame, guilt, and background anxiety from not having done them. I know it was primarily ADHD that made it difficult to engage with those tasks.
How do you guys deal with feeling anxious or guilty over tasks you have not yet done because of ADHD? How do you forgive yourself and overcome the shame of not doing something for a long time due to ADHD?
Obligatory mention that I do have a therapist, psychiatrist, and primary care doctor involved in my treatment. I just was struggling with feeling like I should resign today, and wondered if anyone had any practical advice for overcoming these negative feelings?
Any advice is appreciated, thank you in advance | ADHD |
I hate lexapro, I’m taking 10mg and on day 3, I’m totally out of it and feel weird it’s not a nice feeling.
This is my 2nd round taking lexapro which I did for 1 year before then came off but then had a minor depressed episode. | depression |
I'm forever searching for novels, illustrations and web sites that interest me. I get so frustrated when I can't find them anymore. It's really hard for me. Does anyone else have the same problem?
How do you deal with it? | OCD |
I usually take them with a big meal and i get sleepy around 3 pm (still adjusting dosage - i am on adderall xr 20mg)
i just couldn’t eat this morning so i took it on an empty stomach, and now it is 12 and i am on my phone doing what i was before meds.
I’m guessing it wore off already because i didn’t eat.
so i was wondering how do you know your meds wore off? | ADHD |
I can’t stop thinking about OCD. If I really have it. I feel so in denial about it. I have to know but I can’t. I feel like I can’t explain it at all. I constantly read and research to no end until my head literally hurts. I feel like it’s never been this bad. | OCD |
I’m new to this group and reddit as a whole, but I was hoping to just talk about things related to PTSD if that’s appropriate. If not, please correct me! I used to be part of an informal group where we could discuss our traumas in a safe space, which was incredibly helpful and insightful. But I moved and I haven’t found anything like that here....
I guess I’ve been thinking about how I used to have all these terrible symptoms that have gotten much more tolerable. With those awful symptoms I felt harder, more resilient and stronger, which was kind of nice. Now I feel like as I’m getting better, I’m losing my edge, like I feel more vulnerable around others now, and it makes me nervous like it’s going to happen again. Like I’m going to let it happen again?
I guess does anyone else feel like this? If so, were you more vulnerable to others as you healed? It’s only been four years for me, does this feeling ever go away?
Thanks in advance <3 | ptsd |
I know everyone handles meds different. For some reason, it seems after some reading that Paxil has some of the worst reviews of all the OCD meds out there and it scares me to try it - but my Doc is currently pushing it. If it works - I don’t plan to get off it, but it’s the time and mental energy it takes to”try” new meds that causes pause.
Does anyone have any good/neutral experience on Paxil? Thank you. | OCD |
My dad has told us that he is depressed. He is 54 years old. He has owned his own business for most of his life and recently shut it down about 2 years ago. I think this is what triggered it. Then during the pandemic, my parents decided to downgrade their home and sell the house they lived in. A decision that i believe he made in his depressed state. He is super quiet all the time and gets anxiety whenever he is alone. He feels that everyone else at his age is so much further in life. He thinks about the past and is saying that he regrets so many decisions hes made and that he is no where in his life. Just today while he was leaving the house, he goes” what is life??” And walks out the door. I am so worried for him and not sure what are the right things to do or say to make him feel better or what i can do to tell. | depression |
a little backstory, after 7 years of living with anxiety and 3 with depression, I finally decided to open up to my family members about my struggles on November. On December I had my first consultation with a therapist who prescribed me 20 mg of Lexapro and it took more or less 3 or weeks to start making effect.
On January i started to feel much better tbh, I felt like I could do get the things I once feared, my appetite got better and my life in general improved a lot. January and February were both the best months in the last 5 years. But then a week or so ago I saw something that kind of triggered my anxiety and I had a rough couple of days struggling with anxiety. Ever since that day I haven’t felt good. Although I don’t feel as anxious as last week I feel very bad like my will to live has exited my body. I feel on edge, as if nothings ever gonna get better and tbh I’ve cried all day today, I feel hopeless, sometimes I feel like nothings real and just today has been hectic, I feel very depressed like I want to die right now but at the same time I don’t want to. I’m afraid of getting suicidal once again. Is this normal? Has it ever happened to anyone before? Should I contact my therapist and tell her to schedule a meeting? are the meds not doing effect anymore...? Please offer me advice | OCD |
The first is the background noise. It’s usually music playing on repeat. If I have actual background music/TV/a podcast/meditation playing it quiets down. Something to fill the void I guess.
The second channel is my “thinking brain/inner monologue”. This is influenced by my mood. Like if I notice my apartment needs some love, it’ll trigger my inner critic and then I might start to ruminate and think of arguing with my mom about how my apartment is clean just unorganized and it’s not that bad etc…
The second one is also active if I’m writing/thinking/problem solving “I should reach out to so-and-so” “I’m cold” etc…
They both get super loud if I’m overwhelmed, bored, or in a shame spiral (ie overwhelmed with negative emotion). My ADHD type is Primarily Inattentive, which to me is like an internalized hyperactivity.
I’m trying to actively practice the “you are not your thoughts” concept so I won’t get dragged by how emotional my inner critic/rumination makes me feel. My weak emotional regulation is a part of my ADHD as well.
Anyone relate? | ADHD |
My mom is a very supportive person (at the first look) . We have a strange kind of co dependency together. She "dragged" me through life on my hair. At least I can say, thanks to this, I have graduated from school and can make an apprenticeship. But a lot of times, everything was too much and things escalated with my mental health. I got depressive very young and even became suicidal at age 15 to 18. She mostly ignored that. That's what happened mostly through my life, my "special needs" were ignored, and that state was totally normal, so I just pushed through. I also had to learn myself, that I am autistic. Through crazy coincidences and my tragic life, I had to figure out myself what's wrong with me. I was very happy to tell her about it, bought Atkins book so she can read about it. It's been a year since and she read 10 pages. 10 pages from the book, which would explain to her what the fuck is wrong with her son. She just don't want to hear about it if I want to talk with her about it. She's playing it off. It's her sense of life and favorite hobby to drag me through life, but she plays absolutely deaf about my autism. She has absolutely zero interest in my personality or the things going on in my head, she somehow just sees me as "her son", everything else doesn't fucking matter. | aspergers |
I'm newly medicated and I've heard that you shouldn't have vitamin c around the time you take your meds because it can neutralize the effects. Problem is I really don't like water (I'm sorry r/HydroHomies), but my go-to's have a good amount of vitamin c. My question is, is this a real issue? How much vitamin c is too much? I'm just kind of confused about the entire thing, even my morning nutritional shake has 50% DV of vitamin c. | ADHD |
I have very deep and raw emotions I never share. I had an outpour of emotion today just disclosing how I have a fear the depression may never subside and he responded with something about it all starts with something mentally overpowering (bless his heart). I can’t help but feel frustrated and want to respond “you just don’t understand “ and that’s never going to be enough for him to get it. So I just say I know and go along with it. I hope he can wrap his head around it that depression sometimes just kicks up with no rhyme or reason no matter how positive we try to be. | depression |
Hey everyone. I have the Big ADD.
I got spared the hyper activity aspects but double dipped in the Inattentive side of things.
I have been struggling increasingly with impulse control and instant gratification.
To define dopamine cycle in this context: a brief fleeting sensation of satisfaction followed by immediate craving. An unbalanced yin and yang.
In other words, i always have the feeling that i need something. Even when i dont.
These things are always high dopamine stimuli. Sugar is a big trigger for me. It gives me this like no other. Video games are often a major draw, as with Caffeine and THC.
Nicotine as well, but considering its Nicotine that not a surprise. However i noticed I need to hit my vape every second. Im no doubt physically addicted to Nicotine, but this dopamine affect gets me to chain hit my vape all day, and its too short acting to be the actual Nicotine craving.
Overall: it just feel like im always needing something, or craving something that could be anything but the thing I have. This only happens with consumable things, expect for video games. It creates this looming feeling of bottomless unsatisfaction, than can lead to depression symptoms or anxiety pretty quickly.
I am currently taking Adderall ER for adhd and it helps so much with all other symptoms, but it seems to be adding to this situation specifically.
Has anyone been successful with something similar in the past and what did you need to do?
For some additional context. I do smoke quite a bit of pot, i know little of its interaction with adhd. But ive been getting stoned for over a decade. THC has always seemed to counter my cravings believe it or not, it just seems like its not working as well / not smoking as much.
Ive been on Adderall for nearly 20 years. Its nothing new as well. Since i was in second grade. However, i do feel like Adderall and stimulate are at the root of the issue. | ADHD |
But I hate myself that’s my biggest passion in life | depression |
So, my OCD makes my sex life suck. I read a few studies that said that the link between OCD and a struggle with sex is common due to propensity for perfectionism and disgust as well as high inhibition and something else that I can’t remember but it is understudied. This made me feel better! I thought I’d post here about what I struggle with during and before sex to see if any of you have tips on what helps.
-intrusive thoughts about having sex with my dad or brothers
-thoughts about my sexuality and that maybe I’m actually gay and in denial and my relationship/life is a lie (I’m cis and in a hetero relationship)
-confusion because when masturbating alone or partnered I often come thinking about the same sex
-disgust of my partner’s bodily fluids and breath
-aversion to touch
-low sex drive
-negative thoughts in general towards sex and being sexual
-negative thoughts in general towards my partner
-intrusive thoughts during sex that are confusing where I become disgusted that my partner is sexually interested in me and i almost pity him for trying so hard
-I wonder if most of the above are strategies for pushing my partner away on a subconscious level but I do not know how to overcome that
There’s probably more but that’s what I can think of for now. It’s really tough to power through when we have intercourse and I feel like I wasn’t as into it as I feel I should have been and my mind is racing. It makes me anxious and dread the next time. Please be kind in the comments. I already worry that I do not like my partner. | OCD |
So for context, I (22m) have been feeling like shit recently. My grandpa died, I got dumped by my girlfriend of 3 years, and a friend killed herself all within 1 month. Today, I had my last final exam and I was so anxious and stressed that I pulled an all nighter studying and 30 minutes before the exam, I was so anxious and wracked with stress that I literally passed out. I don’t know if I fainted or fell asleep, but I missed the exam. I emailed my professor twice and haven’t gotten a response, and I am just so sad and stressed and depressed that I am really feeling terrible about myself. I used to be suicidal (stemming from major depression in my childhood), and some of those feelings are coming back as I type this. I know that doing that isn’t a good solution, but right now I just feel so disgustingly overwhelmed that I am really struggling to keep it together and breathe. Any advice? | depression |
Okay! So i bought a brand new computer! One of my games wasnt running good! Found out ultimately that really could have just been the game! Okay, but since that game, I'm looking at all my other games issues! And its affecting my overall fun with ALL of them. Anytime anything in my games acts up i get a good boast of stress and it sorta adds up to me not wanting to play anymore. Games ha | OCD |
Hi. I live and work in an area that has had the mask mandate in effect for all but one month of the pandemic that began in March of 2020. Just prefacing this with the acknowledgment that mask mandates are a valid policy tool that have been shown to reduce the spread of COVID-19 indoors.
Ok, now for the meat. Like a lot of you, I have many different manifestations of my ocd/anxiety and rituals/thought sequences I go through for temporary relief. Unfortunately, with one flashpoint for me being claustrophobic, the mask's constraint is really becoming debilitating to the point where I have to pull the mask partially off of my face for a sec 'to adjust it' and achieve the same thought patterns or rituals as before, but in like a half second before it snaps back on my face. I can only do this like once out of every 20x i try, which leads to me on the floor neurotically playing my mask straps like a guitar and building even more anxiety because of it, where before the rituals were undetectable.
Like before, if I can't do the right thought combo, my hearing loss worsens, I can't make direct eye contact and my responses limit considerably. | OCD |
Is it true that individuals with Autism/Aspergers has a higher chance of having a child that’s also on the spectrum? | aspergers |
Ive got pure O but also social anxiety. I often feel extremely insecure, childish, awkward and weak, either in social settings and also just by myself, but then i will try and force myself into confidence and a positive self image. I am wondering if i should treat this insecure thinking like ocd and let it flow past or if i should treat it differently as if its an extreme low self esteem issue. I think its a bit of both but i am wondering if other people feel like this as well and what they did. It feels like my self confidence can be just switched on or off from one second to the next. | OCD |
i don’t know if i’m just anxious or I have OCD. For example, I’ll reread an email and write like 5 drafts before sending it because I fear that I wrote something offensive. Other things I do is check my alarm a million times before I sleep because I’m convinced I didn’t set it. Another thing I do is worry that I will forget about my friend that has passed away so when I have this worry I always look for the number 34 (his fav number) or his initials. Does this sound like anxiety or ocd? I have depression & anxiety and now i’m wondering if i have ocd …. should I bring this up to my psychiatrist? | OCD |
The words "bitter and angry" have kinda just been flashing across my mind for a few weeks now.
Honestly, I just want to tell someone every ounce of everything I feel. I've been hiding these things from the people that matter to me for so long, and now I just want to let it out. But I know they don't really want to hear about how tough my life has been, because honestly, I jad things pretty easy growing up. Except for ADHD, and the fact that I felt isolated and alone for most of my teens, and I just thought I deserved that.
I don't seem to be getting anywhere with expressing that stuff with my friends or parents. I'm not the only person in my family who has struggled with ADHD. I'm just the only one who has completely and utterly failed to cope with it in any way whatsoever. I am a mess. When I try to talk to my mom about it she says, "you dont have ADHD, you have ADD" and for whatever reason that just sucks the life out of me. It just feels...invalidating. I hate it.
My friends...I can't tell them. I don't even think I trust them. I want to cry in front of them and just let it out. But that isn't their job anyway.
I made a sinilar post yesterday. I desperately need a therapist. I can't cope with this stuff very well at all. Doubt, shame, guilt, the list goes on. These things feel like they have come to define who I am. | ADHD |
So whenever a coincidence happens (like just now when I sneezed at a similar time as someone else) my mind latches on and looks for a hidden meaning or it means there’s something special about me for example. I then start thinking of loads of other coincidences and it sends me on a downward spiral and my anxiety gets very bad.
Can anyone give me any tips with dealing with coincidences? Thank you | OCD |
Hi everyone :)
A few weeks ago i made a post asking how helpful brazilian jiu-jitsu could be with dealing with PTSD (in my case its complex PTSD, more severe PTSD). Now, last week started taking my lessons and so far i love it. :) But, my teacher told me a few times that i am way too tense and that i should try to relax, but the thing is that i am not even aware of that, from my point of view i feel quite relaxed, actually. 😕
I was upfront with him and told him about my (c)PTSD to make him aware as i think that might be the reason of my body being so tense. I don't want to injure neither myself nor someone else, so i asked him to point it out to me whenever he realise it. I am sure with more training and experience my body will become more relaxed which is one of the reasons i started taking classes because i read it can be quite useful for PTSD, but is there something else i could do to make myself more mindful about my body?
Thank you for your time to read this. :) | ptsd |
I think I might have OCD. Should I tell my therapist????? | OCD |
I've always been crappy at putting my thoughts into clean, flowing sentences. I either talk faster than my brain is thinking, or I launch into an explanation before I've even figured out what it is I'm wanting to say, or I can't think of the right word that I want to use on the spot, or I'm not sure if it's time to stop talking so I just end it suddenly... I'm just not very good at verbally expressing myself.
I'm wondering if Toastmasters might help with that. Had anyone tried it? | aspergers |
Hi all, I was wanting to hear some other peoples experiences on if they had changed medications, going from takining adderall to taking vyvanse and if so, did you notice an increase in your libido? I have been taking aderall for almost a year and it has completely killed my sex drive, and is no longer working for me- my doctor mentioned the possibility of changing to vyvanse. He also mentioned how some people notice a change in their sex drive when taking it, is this the case or am I just wishful thinking 😂 I would love to hear others experiences with the medication. 😊 | ADHD |
Hey all, long time lurker in this sub, first time posting.
I got diagnosed with adhd when I was young but the meds they gave my mom for me said not to take them if there’s a history of a specific heart condition in your family and my grandfather died from it, so obviously I couldn’t take them and they never called her back about a different medicine.
I’m 25 now and realizing how much adhd really affects me and didn’t actually realize it until the last year or so. I thought everything I did was normal and that everyone lived like this and completely forgot about my diagnosis 15 years ago.
The constant thoughts, like my mind absolutely never turns off. Starting and obsessing over something for a few days or weeks then completely losing interest. I’ve had many jobs and like to stay busy but the job I’m at now I just sit at a desk for 10 hours and I want to quit because I just cannot handle sitting here for 10 hours a day. Hyper-fixating on a song, task, cleaning etc. it’s exhausting and I can’t believe I didn’t realize it until now.
Anyway, adhd mixed with my worsening anxiety and a little dash of depression (which my depression has gotten infinitely better with no meds because all of them made me want to Kermit) it’s just a lot and I feel like it’s really affecting me mentally more than ever. I have a husband and two kids and I would like to maybe think normally and not be a ball of anxiety anymore.
So my question is, do meds really help? And if I were to get meds for anxiety as well, would it help or make it worse? Would they clash?
And if I got meds I wouldn’t be able to use adderall or the other big one because my husband used to abuse them when he was a teen and doesn’t want them in the house. Same for me with Xanax, I used to abuse it as a teen and don’t want that in the house either, so I wouldn’t be able to take that for anxiety. (We respect each other’s wishes on this and take it seriously)
Any information or helpful tips you can give me is really appreciated.
Thank you | ADHD |
I'm new here so sorry if this is the wrong spot. After years of persistent effort, I was finally going to get in contact with a psychologist about receiving ADHD treatment. Right then I got a text from my therapist that I've been dropped by my insurance and my last month's sessions are uncovered. As I am now I can't even hold down a part time job and am in medical debt. I have no idea where to go from here. Does anyone know of any free or cheap recourses to get ADHD treatment or some kind of mentoring/coaching? | ADHD |
dating someone with ocd can be beneficial because they would know and understand your struggles and they can be supportive. but on the downside, when you're trying to heal from your obsessions and compulsions, your partners OCD triggers can then become YOUR triggers and/or just add general anxiety to your life.
dating someone without any mental disorders obviously adds less stress to the mix, but they may not know how to help you and may not understand or accept what you're going through. there's more of a likelihood that your relationship will fall apart unless they were really supportive, but as you know ocd puts a HUGE strain on everyone around you. dating someone without ocd though can help you get over your obsessions and compulsions because you can't control what your partner does and they might trigger you enough that you get over some of your obsessions. also, having a healthy neutral brain with you at all times might influence you to think healthier too.
so who would you rather date? | OCD |
Hi guys! So I battle with Relationship OCD! Recently I found out that my ex boyfriend is married after I ran j to a picture of him and his new partner on Instagram. TRUTHFULLY, I can care less, I am even happy he found his other half! I am in a very happy relationship of almost two years now and I love my boo so much, we have everything we could ask for in a relationship in terms or a good connection, trust and communication etc. ANYWAYS, Brain has begun to twist things. I feel like I do care that my ex got married and I feel as if I am lying to myself and not admitting it. I have been fighting back and forth with my head for over a week now, and these feelings thoughts won’t go away. I am TERRIFIED that this fear is true and I will have to leave my partner, which Would totally devastar me because I love him till death. I have exposed myself to seeing my ex’s photo of his marriage and I laughed about it after but then 29 minutes later the fear came back again. Can someone give me advice or has anyone gone through something similar, thanks! | OCD |
Play any youtube video with educational or talk content at normal speed. Now do it again increasing the playback speed to 1.5x.
Is the video easier to watch at 1.5?
I've been struggling with something that was hard to define lately where things I usually find interesting, were boring me, and I'd lose interest a few minutes in. I watch a lot of science and educational content, and it just stopped being enjoyable.
By a fluke, I upped the playback speed, and suddenly I could relax, the speech didn't feel sped up it felt normal, and it was actually more relaxing than the 1.0 playback speed. I could suddenly enjoy the discussion where as normal speed felt like nails on a chalk board.
I don't have adhd, but I've been noticing for awhile now that I need to do things very fast, or it is frustrating. Waiting for people to talk, enjoying any kind of media other than books (which I can read at a comfortable/fast pace), even my job, I often juggle multiple things at the same time at a breakneck speed for 9 hours, and it just feels normal. I get impatient with how slow co workers do things.
I don't think I have ADHD but when I googled info about my experiences, the explanations that made the most sense and fit with my experience were on ADHD sites so I wanted to ask what it's like. | ADHD |
I'm so fucking tired all time and it's exhausting. I'm already on meds but it doesn't seem like anything's working anymore and I just feel like shit.
I'm in college and my professors are great but I don't have the energy to get up and brush my teeth let alone go to class. I keep skipping classes and I have no idea what to do anymore because I don't want to drop out but I can't do anything and I feel like I'm going to fail. | depression |
I have been diagnosed with cptsd last year because of my abusive childhood and traumatic events. Whether it’s treated or not treated what are the health issues that I can expect or I am bound to have? Will I ever make it to a long term life? | ptsd |
I almost feel like I don’t even need meds. I’d been practicing a dance trick for months and couldn’t get it but as soon as a girl was mean to me I got rlly angry and did it perfectly.. it was like the move was “unlocked”
I struggled at my job until I got angry and ranted abt how I was quitting in my head and how I hated the job the whole day. Weirdly enough I was thanked for being such an amazing worker s bunch of times that day. Ever since than I’ve been a good worker
But like I can’t give things my all w out anger. Ughhhh!!!! But like all my problems would be fixed if I was angry always but I’m generally happy go lucky and carefree … but also clumsy and a mess which can easily be fixed when I’m angry | ADHD |
This is probably because I've spent the better part of 2 years ruminating, and OCD is v powerful. But it's v difficult to focus on my work. I'm literally reading sentences from my college reading out loud to myself, over and over again, and it's just not going into my head. Because it's fixated on the most 'pleasurable, important thing', aka trying to 'fix the problem', aka rumination.
Any suggestions for this? I'm going to try some meditation and see if that helps. Any advice would be appreciated. | OCD |
He kept using my "personal catchphrase" but messed it up, I think he learned it from my father because he butchered it. My father is ESL
His attempts to get close to me feel like what the internet strangers did to me, my abusers used my personal catchphrases to insult me online and it feels like the same as what the infant is doing. | ptsd |
I dont really know why I do it, it does help I some ways. It doesnt make me anymore productive, it clouds the thoughts. Yes it clouds the useful ones (I haven't touched any uni work in about 8 weeks) but it also makes it harder to think and obsess over the bad ones.
Also I think I just want someone to notice. It's probably not the smartest way of going about it. But I don't know how else to say I'm not coping | depression |
My family wants to move out of province. I’m in my early 20s, and still am dependent on them because working at a minimum wage job had never done anything but make me wish I wasn’t such a pussy and could just blow my brains out. I have dropped out of college twice, both times I was studying something I thought I loved. My parents paid. I do not want to leave my hometown and leave behind what shreds of a life I maintain. I told my family this, and they don’t care. “So get a job and move out” but I can’t. I can’t. “So come move with us.” Also not a promising alternative. No degree, no friends, no drivers license, no money, living with my aging parents in the middle of no where.
I’m starting to think that I just was not destined to be alive. I asked my father why I was born, and he said “your mother wanted a baby”. Did they not have the foresight to realize I wouldn’t be a baby forever ? YOU wanted a baby, and now I have to suffer for what, 80 years ? And for what.
This is all so pointless. I thought getting more and more pets would give me reason to stick around, but I resent them too now.
I wish someone would have warned me about the world, or at least prepared me in ANY WAY.
I wish they just wore a fucking rubber. | depression |
I started working at a dollar general in south carolina about a week ago and it's absolutely disgusting. Id be ok if i worked as a cashier like i was hired to do, but they have me stocking boxes on the floor. Especially in this enviorment, its taking entirely too much out of me to not clean and organize this store from top to bottom, and im beginning to wonder if i should offer to. the floors looklike thry havent been even looked at with a mop in over half a year, there are food and cleaning products that have burstand made the tile and shelves sticky, everything is thrown everywhere, especially in the toy isle. ive started wearing gloves again so i wouldnt have my manager wondering why i wash my hands every 5 seconds, and try to limit what i do to a few isles that are the cleanest. i cant wait to be trained properly as a cashier.
- a dumb bitch crouching in the clean corner of the employee bathroom | OCD |
I was working a decent job making ok money. One of my co-workers whom I've worked with for over 1 1/2 yrs got upset with me for something petty. So I went up to her jokingly and belly bump her. This heffa pressed charges on me and everything. Judge threw out. Everyone who seen video of this said it look like harmless play. She lied because everyone was mad at her for taking it to far.
Anyways after that I had to take a job with a significant pay cut. My name is ruined in city because everytime I apply for another job in same field someone knows someone who works at the place where I was fired and hears a horror story lied about why.
On top of that, my youngest son was diagnosed with schizophrenia a few months ago. They raised my rent that I can barely pay now with making less money. Someone took my dog off my balcony and then found him floating in apartments lake days later. I had By-pass surgery made my hair and teeth fall out. I have 11 teeth in my mouth and I'm 43 yrs old. Someone broke in my apartment 3 weeks ago. The list keeps going.
All I do now is work and come home and cry myself to sleep. I'm hurting mentally and physically. Today will be the 13th day in a row that I worked not off until 18th day in a row. But on that day I have to get these bad teeth pulled out then right back to work.
I don't want to kill myself, but I wouldn't mind if I died. I have good life insurance my kids will be ok. | depression |
Hello everyone,
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# EDIT (27th of October):
Well, after talking to my psychiatrist, it seems my IQ is not low, but average (heterogeneous iq), and because of my long depression (since 2015) + anxiety + severe obstructive sleep apnea, this doesn't mean anything.
I just did a CCAT test for a job application, unfortunatelly there was a lot of english words I didn't understand in vocabulary parts (my mother tongue is not English but French), but I managed to do a score of 50 (meaning that I did better than 50% of english college students, so yes I am average).
\----
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I (26M) recently god diagnosed with ASD. All my life, I was feeling a bit off, people even called me weird and I never understood why. I read about asperger some years ago and I was not sure I was fitting in and was thinking that maybe, I could have been faking it and it was certainly all in my head.
I was not that good at school when I was young (I was not that interested in school and didn't know what it really meant). The day my professor told my father I would do nothing in my life, was the day it clicked in my head (I was furious but did not show it). It was like I put myself on a super sayian mode. I begun to learn programing in my free-time (all my week-end) at 13 years old, begun to do good marks at school and was happy with what I could achieve at that time, before I fall in depression at 18 years old, and I am not sure I really get out of it from that time.
Recently, after finishing my studies, I had time to rest but I was feeling tired constantly, my wood was swinging so I went to see my GP who sent my to a psychiatrist. I did a lot of session, because I had so much comorbidities, that it was not easy to tell what I really had (I am pretty sure my psychiatrist thought I was faking it all). So, they tested me with a bunch of tests like MRI, personality and projection test, along with Wechsler Test (IQ), which I scored below average (they didn't even tell me what was my IQ, but I know it's below average because the day I did the test, I was tired, couldn't concentrate, and I was having difficulties finding words, and even struggled doing simple things. When they gave the results, they said I was self-sabotaging, which could be true, but was not my intention).
I finally got diagnosed with ASD, anxiety, depression, and have symptoms of ADD. After my IQ test, I found out that I had severe sleep apnea too, which is certainly going for years (at least 3 years) but I didn't notice it because I had to get early to go to school, and thought that's the reason I was so tired.
I had glaucoma on both eyes recently, which is unusual for my age.
All the things I was complaining about, finally had an explanation, and from that day, my psychiatrist was taking me more seriously and even said that the problem was not me, but doctors not trusting me, and I was more a zebra than a horse (if you don't know this reference, have a look at Theodore Woodward).
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***TLDR***: All my life I was feeling a bit off. I was not caring at all in school at young age, begun to work when professor told my father I wasn't going to do anything in my life. Begun to do well at school, learnt programming in week-ends (13 years old) and was happy with what I could achieve. Fell in depression at 18, not sure I get out of it since that time. Recently diagnosed with ASD + depression + anxiety + severe sleep apnea + glaucoma (unusual at that age).
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**Anyway, I wanted to know if any of you had so hard time making yourself taken seriously by medical people ?Have you ever had your IQ tested, and how did you react to your result ?Is an IQ test while having severe sleep apnea + depression relevant ?**"**R u ok ?"**
I am sorry, english is not my first language, by the way this took me so much time writing/rereading. | aspergers |
3 and a half years ago, I almost killed me and my friend in a near car accident. I was turning left at an intersection and I didn’t know it was a yield green (I thought I had the arrow) the speed limit going all four directions was 55 MPH. When turning left, I immediately heard a loud horn. I didn’t notice how close they were to actually hitting me, all I remember is that after I made the turn, I saw the car fly by behind me.
There would be absolutely no chance of survival if we got hit. We would both be dead almost instantly. I think the car was a considerable distance away considering it didn’t fly past the intersection till about a few seconds after the turn (or a second, I don’t really know) but my heart stopped once I realized what happened.
My friend didn’t notice. He was on his phone and didn’t see the car fly past. He wasn’t angry at all... I don’t think he realized the danger he was just in.
To this day, I have nightmares, I cry myself to sleep. Every time i see a car crash on TV, I instantly get flashbacks and start crying (or get really sad if I’m in public) I have so much guilt. I made a horrible mistake and I am so lucky to be alive injury free. But my mistake could’ve cost my friends life, and I can’t forgive myself.
I’m 100 percent certain my friend has forgotten about it completely. Every time my friends bring up our bad driving mistakes, he never mentions what happened that day. This was probably because he was on his phone.
I’m so angry at myself. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to move past this. That day could’ve changed two families lives forever. If the car hit us and we died, my friends parents most certainly would’ve sued my family (as it would’ve been my fault), and they would be fucked for the rest of their lives, which is an addition to coping with my death.
Anyone else been through this? | ptsd |
I'm so upset with myself. It started with me thinking the dosage needed to be upped because I "couldn't read" my textbooks for school. I was on 10mgXR and went to 15mgXR. The strangest thing is thinking you are more productive, but the time is flying by way quicker and it is almost like it balances out to be the same unproductiveness. I was also worried why I could not remember much of the comedian shows that I went to recently. I saw THREE of some of my favorite celebrities this past month and I barely have any memory of their acts. I usually have a fantastic memory when it comes to a comedian's jokes and can recite almost everything afterwards. This time, I felt like I was barely even there. In the moment you feel like you are more present than ever before, but then afterwards it feels like a dream.
Thank God for smart psychiatrists who don't just give me what I think I need and decide to down my dose to 7.5mg instead. I am also on Strattera so she was more worried about that. I wanted IR cause I feel like it makes me less anxious. 1) That is true for me, but 2) My XR was also just way too high lmao. Class will be nice tomorrow when I am not thinking about my every movement while my heart rate is at 120bpm 😅
I think it is fair to say that you should not be dosed to the point where you can think you can do everything with 100% energy without any lack of motivation ever. Normal people also have a lack of motivation, it's just not nearly as bad as ours. I think I would want to be more on that level.
I think this is a good scale for me:
Me w/o meds: I want to do so many things, I can't even decide, but I also don't have the energy.
Me w/ correct dose: I know what things I actually want to do, and even then I might struggle from time to time being motivated to do them.
Me w/ too high of a dose: "I CAN do all of those things I mentioned w/o meds. But there isn't enough time in the world! What do I actually like!? What is my real passion!? I have energy to do everything always!" | ADHD |
I truly feel like I’m not worthy of love. That I’m plenty of love to give, but an unlovable person.
I just hope this life ends soon. | depression |
I've been diagnosed with chronic depression ever since I was a pre-teen but I remember times before where I was never happy. I've gotten "help" before but the pills never worked so I stopped taking them. I want to have a family of my own at some point but I feel as if I can't because I'm afraid further down the line I feel when I finally do have one, I'll hit a really rough patch and not make it through. It's hard, life, happiness, and just overall being ok... It all feels so impossible. I'm sorry. | depression |
No one follows the rules of the road. it’s very unpredictable and anything can happen. you have to constantly assume that something is gonna happen and you have to be defensive. i cant begin to tell you how much i hate when people are so close to my bumper at a red light or stop sign. and because i only have my permit i have to ride with someone in the car (aka my family members) and they constantly stress me out with their input and they yell directions at me too late. driving makes me feel burnt out, angry and tired. anyone else feel this way? | aspergers |
i’d also like to say before i start, but i’m not diagnosed with PTSD (whether i have it or not i’m not sure because i completely avoid any trauma talk in therapy) but i do have BPD, depression, anxiety and bulimia.
i stayed at a friends house last night and i ended up getting off with this boy, and it was cool but every time he would try and touch me (especially in certain areas) i felt really uncomfortable and i had to stop myself crying a few times. i just wanted to crawl up in a ball in a cage so no one could ever touch me. i haven’t experienced that feeling in 2 years as i’ve been single for that long and spent a lot of time working on my BPD and i was in a lot of intensive treatments, which i’m now out of.
i feel awful because he was a really sweet guy and i knew he quite liked me, but the second i got home i just blocked him off everything. i may unblock him at some point cause it’s just really unfair on him but i didn’t know what else to do. i have so many thoughts going on in my head (will i ever be ok with having sex, even if it’s with someone i trust being the main one).
it’s one part of me ive never even tried to put back together, but even the thought of exploring it terrifies me. is there any way i can become more comfortable and has anyone else had a similar issue and how did you deal with it? | ptsd |
Recently I am having very bad OCD/intrusive thoughts about existential stuff. Existential OCD feels so bad & makes me feel extremely sad alot of the time. I constantly have this feeling of dread for no reason at all & I am paranoid about dying suddenly, so much so that I've signed up to have my head cryopreserved should I die. For example, I read a text message from my dad, suddenly i think, oh wow, my dads in his late 50s.. Something could so easily happen to him, and he could die.
Then it breaks off into this big web of shit like: if he died, i have no clue what happens after death, would he just cease to exist? Then i feel extremely sad, because hes christian & what if the religion he spent his whole life believing is all just made up? Then I start thinking about ways to convince him to sign up for cryopreservation after death... Rinse & repeat this thought process for almost any time i interact with someone i care about, its torture... And the most annoying part is, I never had ocd about this before, after i got in pretty minor car accident 6 months ago, its all i can think about. I simply cannot accept that one day I and everything i love and care about might just cease to exist, I cant/wont accept it :(.
Please, if anyone else has OCD about this, let me know how you cope with it because I cannot imagine feeling this sense of dread for the rest of my life. | OCD |
this is my last semester of undergrad and it’s been so hard to get through it. i just feel zero motivation. some weeks feel like i’ve done zero work and i miss class because i feel like i can’t do anything. i feel incompetent.
this past week i had a presentation and i was really proud of it. my professor said i did really thorough research but i’ve been so burned out that i didn’t do the discussion board component of it and lost points.
i just feel like i have to half ass the less important things because i’m so drained mentally. ive been procrastinating for the last several weeks and i get really horrible anxiety just thinking of starting an assignment. ive been sleeping a lot and now i basically have 3 papers and two presentations due at the end of this week. i know it’s my fault but i’m so unmotivated. i just dread every single day.
i know it will be over in a week and a half but right now is such a nightmare. | depression |
Typing this on my phone from the garage so it’ll be brief. I’m not hiding, it’s just peaceful out here.
This happens pretty frequently and I’m about worn down from it. I know I’m not alone. I’m almost 50 and married. I was diagnosed only 4 years ago so I’ve lived a lot of life undiagnosed and I’m still learning how to deal with how this is affecting me. I’m taking meds and that helps.
Here’s the deal: I’ll forget things and it drives my wife nuts. She’ll get very annoyed with me and I feel awful, but it’s as if I am two different people (to me, not her). Like a person with adhd who forgot to do something and a different person who is her husband. But she doesn’t see the difference. although I know it was my adhd that made me forget, she doesn’t want to hear it any more. She just wants me to stop making these mistakes.
I can totally see how living so much of my life like this has stunted my development and caused all sorts of sensitivities.
I’ll bring it up when things are smoother, but I’m at the point where saying it’s adhd sounds like an excuse to even myself.
I’ve read Melissa Orlov’s books about marriage and have tried all sorts of things to try to remember things but I keep screwing up.
That’s all. I just wanted to put this out there. | ADHD |
so im not even 50% sure i have ocd, but i do get really really bad intrusive thoughts hourly, daily. of course not all of the thoughts are THAT bad, but a lot are really scary/uncomfortable and i have a really hard time getting rid of them. when i get really bad ones my neck will jerk back and i tense up, when i do it it’s unintentional but i do continue hold my neck there because it helps me feel better (?). does anyone else experience this or know why i do this? thanks so much | OCD |
I was wondering if you guys have some advice on how to deal with outburst. More specifically, I have a lot of trouble containing them when they happen. Do anyone can guide me in some wisdom I'm missing?
I'm realising (a little late) that I focused so much on preventing them that I'm completely unprepared to do something when one happen. | aspergers |
Today hurts especially bad. Everything sucks. Life sucks | depression |
I was diagnosed with ADHD and chronic depression at 13, 17 years ago, feels so crazy it’s been that long! I was prescribed adderall at 14 and took it until I was 21. My grades sky rocketed after getting on the medication, I finally felt like I was capable of succeeding in school, and sports. The downside and reason I stopped taking it, is that it highly effects my mood when I’m coming down from it. I get really short fused at the end of the day, and frustrated with other people, and don’t like my mood. After getting off I dropped out of college and really just didn’t make anything with my life. I started taking it again fairly recently after a 8 year hiatus and am only taking about 5mg a day (I’m prescribed 40mg, I’m extremely sensitive to it). This stuff is the only thing I can take to make me function at level that makes me feel proud of myself and like I have a chance at succeeding at adulting. I now run two small and fairly successful business’ so staying on top of my shit is super important! Still, towards the end of the day, I don’t like the level of frustration I feel, and I don’t want to be that person, but I want to be able to focus and feel motivated. During the day before I come down from it I’m in the best mood ever, like ready to jump any hurdle and tackle any problem. Any advice? Anyone else have a similar experience? | ADHD |
Ok so I'm a pretty passionate musician but I ended up just rambling about life and music to my co-worker and I feel like I talked his ear off about whatever but he was reciprocating but I feel like I just let loose too much and just ended up onelining my passions.
I guess it didn't help that I had a redbull.
Sincerely
Uhh | ADHD |
I think I um... Losing it.
Was watching a video. I don't know what triggered it but tears rolled down. I wasn't sad or happy or angry. It was just an involuntary action that i couldn't control it for solid 15 minutes. i don't know if I'm depressed or stuff. This is second time of this happening. | depression |
For the past few years, I've been given the huge privilege of having benefits-funded support workers to help with my life. But I don't know how to use them effectively, partly because I feel very uncomfortable with a lot of the potential things I could use support's help with.
In fact right at this moment I'm putting off letting a support worker into my flat, because the other day we'd agreed that we'd tidy up today, but I feel so uncomfortable with letting him organise my flat (especially my bedroom, where I keep a lot of personal stuff) so I'm procrastinating hard right now, even though this slot started a couple hours ago (and now on top of that, I'm feeling terrible for squandering my benefits and for wasting his time).
That's not the only issue I have but it's an example of the kinda thing I'd wanna talk about on this (hopefully not theoretical) subreddit.
I'm wondering if there's a subreddit for people who receive support to vent about their worries and also to discuss how to use their support better. My parents are often full of suggestions of how to make use of my support but I'd rather hear ideas from people who actually receive support themselves.
Thanks.
TLDR - As the title says. Is there a subreddit to discuss how to use support workers more effectively and/or vent about anxiety related to receiving support? | ADHD |
I don't know if this is accurate or not, but it feels like my OCD and ADHD are in a constant battle with each other. If one isn't messing with me, the other is, but usually messing with me at the same time. My days are full of obsession to get things done in a very specific and excessively time consumming manner, and procrastinating because the thought of getting trapped in the task is overwhelming. To top it off, I forget tasks that need to be done when I'm making my to do list, so it could take weeks for me to finally remember them and get them done.
This and many other things make me feel like a POS because I rarely get anything of importance done. I just want some inner peace, but apparently my brain doesn't. I am still in the beginning phases of therapy and I really hope it helps. I finally ordered the OCD workbook my therapist recommended, so, I did something I guess. Now to force myself to brush, floss and shower. That'll take about 1.5 hours, and the thought of starting my ridiculous, obsessive, time consumming rituals associated with it is exhausting. | OCD |
I never really had true friends. Most kids just kept me around and used me as a punching bag or for things so now at 21 I finally have two true friends. People who I trusted enough to tell them what's been going on and both told me they loved me.
I'm trying not to cry right now but it's just so good to hear that and to feel cared for especially now when I feel so just drained and empty. I feel cared for and it just feels so fucking good man.
I'm just really grateful to finally have friends like this. Friends that I've wanted for years and I finally have them and I love them both so much. | ptsd |
I recently just started new medication that I think is more suitable for me, but I dread breakfast now. I have NEVER had this problem. I love food. Now idk what to eat and I end up forcing down a boring protein bar or something because I know my mental health benefits from semi-proper nutrition.
Do you guys have any tips on how to make eating in the morning fun again?
It’s so mind boggling how I dread something, that I always used to look forward to in the past. | ADHD |
someone please help me
i’ve been suffering from what i think is ocd for almost a year now, but it hasn’t been on the topic i’m about to share. i’m a 15F and i’m so scared right now. basically my whole life i’ve felt this kind of tingly feeling around boys my age, like i am aware of their presence and need to do something to impress them. it’s not even a crush it’s just a feeling i forget about as soon as i’m not in the same room as that person anymore. basically last week i got this really scary thought about a child and now i’m so scared i’m a pedophile. like what if those people i got the tingly feeling from are younger than me? like only yesterday i saw this person who looked my age and i got the feeling but i’m scared because what if that person was younger and i’m a creep? it happened today too but this time i didn’t get the feeling i just saw the kid and they looked maybe 12 or 13 and i freaked out because what if i really do have the feeling and i just didn’t get it like as i’m typing this i’m so scared i’m lying or something. the last time i had a crush was in seventh grade and it was on someone my age and i know these aren’t crushes, it’s just like my awareness shoots up but it’s always been with kids my age and i’m so scared about today please what do i do. i’m scared to go to school now it starts in a month i don’t think i can do it someone please help me | OCD |
Fuck. I just can't.
I'm doing really well, I've learned to manage my PTSD and depression and I'm so much happier than I have been for years.
But fucking September.
Not that I lose all my progress, but the flashbacks have to come back and I break down in the middle of work or while I'm fucking relaxing and watching TV. My hands randomly start shaking so badly i can barely function. It's exhausting.
Not only does it affect me but my poor boyfriend listens to my fucked up thoughts during my breakdowns. I love and appreciate that he's there for me but I know it has to affect him too. I feel bad.
I just wish September was a normal month for me and not a reminder of the moment my life turned upside down and fucking inside out. | ptsd |
Ok so I am a country boy I’m redneck and now I’m worried that I’m not redneck it’s very annoying because that’s literally my life style its all I know and now ocd is challenging my whole beliefs systems does anyone else have something similar to this | OCD |
Hello all! 17 AMAB here who in the past few months got pretty convinced they were on the autism spectrum. I tried working with my provider to get screened, but according to her while there were some suspicious things, I simply lacked the social deficits to even score severely enough to get moved on to actual testing.
Right now a lot of signs are actually pointing to me having OCD, which I am also trying to get evaluated for, but of course OCD and ASD aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive.
Either way, I just thought I’d ask what other (if there are any) explanations could there be for excitedly flapping your hands since it doesn’t really seem like an OCD trait. I only ever do it when I’m alone, but I know I do it and have always done it. When I was younger I did it around family iirc, but now I mostly hide it and only do it if I’m by myself. I could be thinking about a cool magic/sci-fi story in my head, could listen to a really good song, could have a social interaction (usually online) that feels like a resounding success, etc, and mindlessly I’ll just flap my hands as I feel happy.
I know this kind of stimming is often attributed to ASD and not really OCD (to the best of my knowledge), but since ASD currently seems ruled out for me, I figured I’d ask if there are any other things that could explain it. Can it just be something you do even as an NT? Can OCD in fact have stimming in this way and not in a compulsion kinda way? Are there other neurodiversities where handflapping is common? Hopefully this doesn’t seem like I’m asking for diagnosis, I’m already seeking professional evaluation but just am confused about this lingering tidbit.
Thank you all and have a nice day! | aspergers |
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