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This usually only happens when I am sick or tired but not always. Occasionally I hear my phone ringing (it's a video game song so it's unique) or what sounds like voices through a door. Usually there's white noise happening at the same time. It's hard to tell if it's because of the white noise or not because my apartment has a shitty heating/AC system so there's ALWAYS white noise where I live.
I have had a few instances where it sounds like my phone is ringing in another room, but I KNOW it's not because my phone will be IN MY HAND. As soon as I concentrate on that fact the sound turns back into white noise.
The voices thing, I never hear any words. It just sounds usually like a female and male voice murmuring behind a door or like the tv is on in another room. If I can eliminate the cause of the white noise it goes away. (one time it was my bedroom fan)
Does this happen to y'all? Is this cause for greater concern?
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ADHD
|
I recently started my postgraduate degree (research). And how that works is research students will be placed to go to school in an office so it feels more like a job environment rather than a classroom environment. And I have been having the hardest time trying to get to know people or make friends. I find it hard to even comprehend half of the conversation ( friendly non research conversations) and I definitely feel out of place 😓
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ADHD
|
Ive been diagnosed for a few years but just started medication, maybe, a year ago.
I tired Adderall and that gave me extreme dry mouth and irritability.
Ive been on 20 mg a day with the only side affect of increased gag reflex and basically throwing up every day that I have anxiety about doing something.
The reason I say it’s ritalin is because when I noticed I forgot to take it for a days, I actually had no problem brushing my teeth(which I always throw up from with ritalin).
Now, within the last well or two, I’m noticing that when I specifically take it I’m way more prone to throwing up. So much so that even a throaty cough can turn my stomach uncontrollably. I can’t even stifle it anymore when it comes most times.
Has anyone had this experience? Ha anyone switched to Vyvanse or Concerta after these symptoms and seen alleviation?
Ive tried ginger, motion sickness meds, meditation, and even taking less.
I want to call my psychiatrist but at the same time it’s during finals week and I kind of need that focus which I never have without it.
Any advice or solutions?
|
ADHD
|
I'll be crossing the street and think I'm going to get hit by that truck and my mind plays out the entire scenario in my head. Or walking down some stairs and think I'm going to fall and crush all my teeth on the pavement. Sitting in a restaurant and think I'm going to miss my mouth with the fork and stab my eyeball. Some of the things I come up with are laughable but still really invasive and negative. The worst part is that I make a wincing face or a small noise almost like an involuntary movement when I'm visualizing these scenarios. What is this?? It seems PTSD related but I'm not sure? I feel crazy sometimes, but I guess maybe I am a little bit.
|
ptsd
|
I don't even feel like a human being. I completely broke down twice today because I couldn't find an object related to my trauma I felt I really needed to get through the day. Had a panic attack I'm glad no one was there to witness cause I couldn't breathe and I was rocking back and forth and looking particularly crazy and not normal. And I feel floaty, like I'm not really connected to my body which is great cause my body absolutely sucks but also I haven't even been able to stand up and get a glass of water because I don't feel like I have a body. I would like to have someone who could help me take care of me but I'm glad no one can see me because no one would ever stick around if they saw me being like this.
|
ptsd
|
please help me, i am on the very fucking edge and i want to kill myself. me and my partner were making out and our crotches were pushed uo against eachother (completely clothed) and they moaned and i kept going and they were into it but my ocd brain kept worrying "what if it penetrates" and i ignored it because my partner was enjoying it and i thought about it logically during the moment. (it wont penetrate youre both wearing clothes) and i just feel horrendous like a disgusting rapist.
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OCD
|
I've always known that I have PTSD symptoms, but now that I think about it, I never really researched what having PTSD symptoms really mean. And so I did just that. I read [this article](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20355967) and it suddenly clicked in me *what if* my diagnosis of having Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) was a *misdiagnosis*.
For the longest time, I have believed myself that the diagnosis of GAD was correct, but when I read that article, it dawned to me, I may not be having merely anxiety disorder with PTSD symptoms, but that I have PTSD itself. I have read that PTSD causes severe anxiety, but up until now, I've always brushed it off thinking "eh, ok, I mean, I have GAD." *Clearly, it didn’t click in me yet* but now that it has, I'm suddenly doubting my diagnosis.
I click with **every** single symptom of PTSD. I can recall lots of events, encounters, incidents relative to each PTSD symptom. Moreover, I woke up from my 3-hour nap earlier today (just a little over 5 hours ago now), and I had a dream - not a flashback, but a dream that embodies me, my resentment/trauma/bad blood with every single relative in my mom's side, and my acting towards them with these negative emotions. I recall I have had this dream before, in that particular 'venue' but never in this way.
When I sought therapy for myself last year, I came forward with my primary problems and the aftermath of each, and got diagnosed with GAD. I understand why and how GAD could be the best diagnosis for me at the time. Anxiety, as a whole, was the most evident symptom during that time. It affected my mindset, my behavior, my actions, my perspective, my perception, my temperament, and so on and so forth.
* My emotions and the way I processed and conveyed them at the time were all knotted up. I remember being asked to write down what I'm thinking and feeling - and I would put what I'm feeling under 'thoughts' and vice versa. It took a while to fix, but I was able to learn the right way eventually. I never thought that therapy was a quick fix to mental illness, but for some reason, I believed my 6 sessions was enough to help me with life. *It was not.*
Last December 2020, more than 6 months after seeking therapy, I got married and moved out of the house. For 10 sweet months, I was able to escape them and my trauma brought on by them, but that didn’t stop the constant anxiety attacks, chronic back pain, severe tummy ache now and again, nausea and tension headaches (which sometimes evolves into a migraine), flashbacks in the form of dreams, and trauma-based nightmares that caused me sleep paralysis and insomnia among many others.
* And worse, these PTSD symptoms would recur every time I'd experience something like what happened during my childhood as part of my trauma - even if the person pressuring me or haunting me or hounding me wasn't from any of them, I'd experience and suffer from the same symptoms.
I said 10 months, yes, because due to many reasons (mainly eviction due to unpaid debt), I'm now back in this house where the trauma started, with the exact same people who were involved from the start. *Heck, I'm having back pain as I type this. Eugh, it's throbbing.* 😖 So far, so good. *Heh.* I've only been here for exactly 2 weeks now and have had emotional breakdowns just twice I think BUT every day/night, my back aches.
* I also get tension headaches frequently. I'm not one to drink pain reliever / muscle relaxant meds immediately (I have prescription of the latter), especially if I can live through the day with it just fine, but it's a pain to always be in pain. I would love to get checked by a psychiatrist / GP right now, but it's not in our budget and definitely not ideal at the moment. I understand the need for therapy and/or anti-anxiety meds during this time but the way I see it, it wouldn't do me any good still since I'm living at the heart of the trauma.
IDK really where to go with this, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to seek advice from y'all on what workarounds I can do mainly for my anxiety/PTSD symptoms (i.e., chronic back pain). I have been prescribed Eperisone (muscle relaxant / tranquilizer meds) by a GP before - cos I went to the ER for 9/10 back pain for 3 consecutive months last June 2019 - but my body has started to build immunity against it. It used to kick in under 5 minutes, now it goes over 10 minutes.
* Also, I would rather not drink meds because I don't want to be dependent on them, but if you know any OTC meds that I can buy then please suggest them. So far, I've tried menthol rubs and menthol roll-ons. It's not very effective on me though. I only ever feel the menthol on the 3rd or 4th application and even then, I only feel the menthol on my body surface, it doesn't help alleviate the muscle contractions on my back.
For reference for any suggestions, I live in the Philippines. I'm aware there are meds that aren't available here, whether OTC or prescription, unless you order them from overseas, but it's still worth a try to search up on it. Maybe I could find cheaper/local alternatives to y'all's suggestions.
Thank you for taking the time to read!
P.S. Needless to say each person's PTSD/Anxiety case is different so I'll take all your suggestions with a grain of salt, with lots of research, and definitely with the help of a licensed professional once it's made available to me. **This post is mainly to ask for suggestions for medical alternatives.** As I said, I would rather not take meds as I don't want to be dependent on them, but some of you might still suggest some, and I welcome that.
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ptsd
|
Oh please don’t smile at me
Oh please don’t look at me
Oh it hurts to much
Oh I can’t smile at you
Oh I can’t look at you
-Oh I’m done with you-
Oh I broke you
Oh you broke me
Oh why do you do this to me
Oh you lie to me
Oh I never lie
-Oh I’m leaving-
Oh you don’t love me
Oh why don’t you love me
Oh our love is augur to end
Oh I love you
Oh why do I love you
-Oh you don’t deserve me-
Oh you gave nothing
Oh I gave everything
Oh you broke my heart
Oh you won’t leave me alone
Oh I must leave
-Oh don’t smile at me-
Oh please don’t smile at me
Oh please don’t look at me
Oh it hurts to much
Oh I can’t smile at you
Oh I can’t look at you
(A poem about love)
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depression
|
hi everyone! long time commenter/first time poster here, this week i will be asking my doctor to start me on medication for my OCD and depression. it’s been a very long time since being on medication, my first experience years ago was not very good and my doctor at the time was no help lol so i’ve been i medicated for most of my life. My fiancé also suffers with OCD and has been on prozac for 2 years and it has helped him TREMENDOUSLY.
I’m at a point where therapy has helped me a lot with my issues, but my obsessive thoughts still don’t stop and have been driving me crazy (something my fiancé says has gone away since starting prozac.) but i think im ready to go back on medication to help with these thoughts and compulsions. i was wondering what experience you guys have had with prozac or any other ocd medication? i know everyone has different experiences but any insight would help a ton!!
|
OCD
|
I know this sounds stupid and selfish af and that seeking reassurance will probably make things worse but honestly I'm a little overwhelmed rn and just need to vent for a sec. Ever since the vaccine passport being announced in my country a month or so ago I've been struggling with A LOT of anxiety (on top of the pre-existing covid paranoia 🤠) and going back and forth about whether to get it or not, it doesn't help that my mom who has always been kinda iffy about vaccines has fallen down the facebook/yt conspiracy theory rabbit hole and became an hardline antivaxxer that now doesn't even believe covid is real after losing multiple friends and acquaintances to it and won't shut up for a second about how the vaccine will literally turn me into a crocodile, burn my house, ruin my bloodline and curse my crops for a thousand winters. Ofc all the stuff she sends me is easily debunked or not verifiable but even then I can't help but feel like there must be a kernel of truth to it and even if the risk of anything serious happening is infinitely small compared to the actual virus it's still enough to send my monkey brain into full panic mode whenever I think about it, I have already cancelled an appointment this week and now feel extremely bad and selfish about it because I'm causing problems for people who need it way more than me. I rationally know that vaccines are incredibly helpful and that it's the right thing to do but my brain doesn't know how not to think in absolutes and won't listen to reason, to it I might as well be getting a lethal injection. I'm genuinely so frustrated I want to cry
|
OCD
|
I hate that my executive function is completely burnt out during my work day, and my partner & kids only know me as an irresponsible dipshit.
I finally had to tell my partner that bringing up new things for me to do after 9pm is the equivalent of never have told me, with the added guilt when I'm reminded again.
|
ADHD
|
i just went through something so extremely triggering and i’m panicking so much i think i’m going to pass out but i’m trying not to do any compulsions. does anyone have any tips for when this happens???
|
OCD
|
title :(
i'm not even in a depressive episode at the moment, funnily enough. i'm able to function but nothing makes me happy :( i just feel so jealous when i see other people being happy. it's not that i've never been happy in my life, i have (especially when i was younger), but moments like these are so far and fleeting these days and so marred by the next time the depression hits that they're not even worth it anymore.
is it possible that some people just aren't meant to be happy :( i feel like i'm seeing life through a different lens to other people :(
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depression
|
TW/CW: r\*pe, very graphic depictions of sex
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I'm sorry if this sounds awful my brain is a mess right now
okay so exactly a week ago this guy I really liked (19m) and I (18f) were out and we decided to go to his place (we're both fully vaccinated) and things started escalating. we were both totally sober and had already talked beforehand about what we wanted/were okay with, and I had set (what I thought were) clear boundaries about what I was okay doing.
after a while he asked me if I could masturbate him and I said yes. this was my second ever sexual experience, my first also being with him. as I was going I made sure to ask him if he liked it/ if it felt good and he told me he did. he then asked if I could perform oral sex on him, and I told him only if he used a condom. he put it on and I started, again checking in every once in a while to ask him if it felt good and each time he said yes.
while this was happening he kept trying to touch me under my pants and ask me to take more clothes off, but I told him I wasn't comfortable with it. a couple times he snuck his hand under my underwear and started touching me, even after I told him not to. I knew this wasn't okay but for some stupid reason I ignored it. after a while he took off the condom (I'm not sure why, I forgot a little at this point) and asked me to just use my hands, so I did. he then told me he was close to an orgasm and we realized there was nowhere for him to ejaculate (we were in his backyard shed, I don't even know atp)
this is the part I've been obsessing over. we were both trying to figure out where he could ejaculate, and he started asking if he could go in my mouth. I told him no, since I wasn't comfortable with that unless he put another condom on. but the thing is I kept my hand on his p\*nis, I slowed down so he wouldn't be overwhelmed or orgasm but I was still slowly rubbing/stroking it or whatever. in my mind I guess it might be more comfortable for him to go slowly instead of completely stopping, but I never asked him. I can't stop obsessing over this part, I feel like I should have taken my hand completely away, or asked him if he wanted me to keep going slowly while we found somewhere for him to go, but I never asked him and just kept going slowly. he never told me to stop, but obviously that doesn't mean he was okay with it. Im not even sure how long we were talking/trying to figure out somewhere for him but I remember he sounded a bit annoyed and kept saying something like "dude I'm about to cum, can't you just let me do it in your mouth". I repeatedly told him no, but I was still slowly masturbating him. I can't stop thinking that I should've stopped touching him until we figured something out. I believe that I eventually took my hand away, but only after continuing to touch him for a while. I can't remember clearly because I've been ruminating on it so much. he continued to try to convince me to let him cum in my mouth, and tried pushing my head towards him (which made me very uncomfortable, but I didn't say anything). eventually he found another a condom and finished in it.
he ended up having to run an errand afterwards so we took the train together until we parted ways. he didn't seem necessarily annoyed or anything for the rest of the day, but maybe? was a little bit less affectionate. that night I asked him how he felt about the day and he told me it "wasn't bad".
he also has a bit of a history of getting annoyed when I wouldn't let him do what he wanted to me. he had asked multiple times in the past for sex and then got annoyed/tried to convince me when I said I didn't want to. so I can't tell if he was acting annoyed because I didn't let him go in my mouth or because I only slowed down and didn't stop completely before he had anywhere to ejaculate.
I decided to apologize to him for the incident (over text because he was busy that week) and basically told him I was sorry for not stopping completely before he had somewhere to ejaculate, and he told me it was okay. since then I've been texting him, but he's been acting a little more distant towards me. a couple days later I asked him again over text if I had done anything that had made him uncomfortable, especially on the day we met up. he told me again no, and said something like "you didn't do anything dw".
whats even more confusing is that today he asked me if I wanted to hook up again, but he asked for actual sex this time. I told him I would let him do some other things to me, but I wasn't okay with sex. he kept saying he didn't believe me, that I would "back out" like I had done before (I had changed my mind in the past about things I was okay with) , that I was lying and I wouldn't actually let him do those things. at that point he got annoyed and made up an excuse as to why he couldn't meet me.
to be honest I was okay with that, I don't want to hook up with someone who can't respect my boundaries.
but the point of this post is basically: I'm worrying about the incident while I was masturbating him, and I don't know if its OCD or if I actually did something wrong. was it wrong of me to continue to touch him (not much, just slowly) even after he told me he was going to orgasm and had nowhere to do it? a couple days later I asked and he told me that it was okay and that I didn't do anything wrong, but obviously he isn't obligated to tell me the truth, especially if I did violate his consent. he also asked me to hook up again, which is confusing but also doesn't mean that I didn't violate his consent. I also know that he has done some shitty things to me, but that doesn't exempt me from hurting him. is my brain victim blaming itself?????? this is fucking with me, can someone please give their opinion on whether or not I'm in the wrong, and if this is OCD or I'm actually just a piece of shit.
I know I should go to therapy, it's not accessible to me at the moment.
|
OCD
|
i have these intrusive thoughts so i got help and she said you have to make a promise to yourself that you will never practice them again keep to your word there will be bumps along the way but after some time these intrusive thoughts go away
|
OCD
|
I just wanna relax, but these intrusive thoughts won't allow that. I know they are irrational, I still can't help thinking about bad germs crawling on everything I touch, which results in me avoiding these objects
|
OCD
|
I struggle everyday to keep a smile on my face, only to feel myself die a little more and more. I feel hollow, and full of void, never really feeling anything at all.
I catch myself thinking about death or killing myself multiple times a day, and can’t seem to understand why I haven’t really did it yet.
I don’t know what to expect of life, anymore….
|
depression
|
Hi,
so today I have been seeing a psychiatrist, and I told him about my suspicion that I have (inattentive) ADHD & my symptoms. What makes my case a bit tricky is that I was a really gifted kid with outstanding capabilities when it came to maths, logic & language. On top of that I had great coping mechanisms and I got through school pretty well despite never paying attention in class, having zero motivation, ...
So after I had said everything, my psychiatrist told me:"You actually fit pretty well into the ADHD criteria, except for one thing: You function too well. If you actually had ADHD, there is no way you wouldn't have had to repeat a year in school, there's no way you wouldn't have had bad grades, there's no way your teachers wouldn't have called your parents ..."
Granted, he still sent me to ADHD testing, but in my city, there is rarely ADHD testing especially for adults. So I am afraid I run into the same statement again: "You function too well." I mean what do I say? I have seen countless people on here that became doctors and stuff despite having ADHD, but I don't think a professional will see statements from people on Reddit as an argument.
How do I convince a psychologist/psychiatrist that I got through school thanks to being gifted & having good coping mechanisms, and make it clear to them that doesn't mean I don't have ADHD?
|
ADHD
|
I dont want to say i have PTSD and not have it, Im so lost im just trying to figure out if this is my problem
when i was 6 i was diagnosed with liver disease and my liver was dying. i had to go to doctors all the time, get blood tests, and do procedures. when i was 12 i got a liver transplant, and really struggled with it. everything changed for me, i was terrified. i couldnt cope and still dont know how, im almost 20 now. i still feel like a kid i feel like ive lost my entire childhood cus of this fucking bullshit. But besides that ive always delt with memories and events that scared me and i had to do. i think about it alot even when i dont want too, i dont know what to do. I cant keep doing this, its been 8 years i think and i feel like it just happened. ever time i think about the things i went theough i cant handle it i dont wanr to think about it, i dont know what to so. its not fair, every time i fucjing think about what happened before i get so mad. I even have a horrible memory i think of all the time and it envolved my hands, everytime i think of it i have to hold my fucking hands cus it feels like its happening right now i cant fucking do this is this PTSD or something else i dont want to self diagnose.
|
ptsd
|
I mean, ADHD is a serious neurological disorder similar to Autism. It's a really big deal and no one seems to know that. Therapy is, set a timer, make a list..... And all I can think is fuck your timer my brain is trying to kill me!!!
I have the stim meds and therapy. I work my ass off changing my behaviors and getting a schedule together but it is not working out! My wife is still irritated with me all of them time. Her friends and family think I'm weird and treat me like I'm stupid. I can't keep a job or a schedule. I can't sleep. I'm really running out of hope over here.
*Wow! So many people took the time to write out extensive notes of suggestions, ideas and most importantly empathy and support! I had no idea how supportive and helpful this subreddit could be. Feeling so grateful! Tytytytytyty ❤️❤️❤️
|
ADHD
|
There's a saying that the wolf you feed is the one that wins, but mine just fight all the time.
|
aspergers
|
I've been suspecting that I have ADHD for a long time and I've read about the symptoms and 90% of them checks . But I don't know how to talk about my psychologist about this ... I can't just tell her "Hey I think I may have ADHD " and laterrr be wrong . I am not sure because my only source is google and the only thing I could do is these online tests which I know are maybe not right??? I am not sure I am just so confused and can't get my life together .These two years have been difficult for me especially at school and whatever I do I can't and can't and can't DO ANYTHING . I do feel like there is something wrong with me so please if someone who is more educated on this just please give me an advice.
|
ADHD
|
At that point now where I'm genuinely thinking that that's it, I've failed. No friends, no girlfriend, can't even seem to make a connection with a woman, haven't had sex in well over 2 years, my work life has been absolutely terrible, shit minimum wage job after shit minimum wage job... I know this is all my fault, I should have knuckled down in school and college, even I couldn't have done that I should have saved my money so I wouldn't be so broke now, if I couldn't have done that then maybe, just maybe I should have looked after my body a bit more and at the very least I might have some sort of relationship? I've got NOTHING to show for 29 years of living, literally nothing.
You ever look in the mirror and just think "you're a fucking loser"?
I've never felt more alone, more isolated, more... Ready to go.
|
depression
|
To all those who take medication, what’s your experience with tolerance?
I just started vyvanse, but I don’t see the point in taking stimulants if I’m just going to build a tolerance and be back to square 1, plus now have a dependence.
I also hear that many people do not build a long term tolerance, after the initial dose is adjusted.
Have you been able to use medication sustainably long term?
|
ADHD
|
These past few days, I had been fine. I was energetic, productive, maybe not happy- but at least I was indifferent. Today I just feel like I crashed. I just feel like I have nothing to offer anymore. I don't say this to suggest I intend to hurt myself- which I don't, but this is just how I feel. I just can't going on like this anymore. I feel like I have no life. I am depressed with anxiety. I know I have cultivated my existence so far so that I push everyone away. I have no real friends. No one invites me to anything. My only real support system is my parents, but living with them is a nightmare. They hate one another and constantly fight. I can't stand being there anymore and being forced to be a peacemaker. I also can't stand being told I need to lose weight and find a partner, anytime I go home. I live with a roommate, who could care less if I'm there or not. It's fine, I could care less about her too. I don't have any siblings or real friends. At least no who sees me as a friend; or maybe I'm the shitty friend. My career plans are in the toilet. I spend a majority of my day playing Pokémon Go and watching shitty tv on Netflix, when I am not at school. I'm a medical student BTW. I have no significant other- fuck I'm 26 never really kissed anyone, let alone dated. I order take out by myself. Everyone else has friends/significant other so I really never ask people to join me. Maybe it is because of my fear of rejection. My cousins, who I was close to as a child, don't care. I have no one. I have nothing to show for my life. As I write this, I try to keep myself from not crying- but I just can't. I just can't anymore, I just can't.
|
depression
|
Hello, I’ve been taking 36 concerta after breakfast for months now
(Sometimes I take 18 if I don’t want to be too anxious)
But I’ve noticed a weird sensation in my gut whenever I feel my concerta 36 working: it’s almost like anxiety butterflies but it’s not anxiety.
Just just a weird feeling like tingling or surge of energy in the abdomen which is not painful just weird and slightly uncomfortable.
Does anyone else experience it, or know what it is?
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ADHD
|
So I'm supposed to go to the dentist Monday and I'm *terrified* because I'm afraid the anesthetics are gonna cause me to be loopy and say an intrusive thought out loud. And, knowing my family, they're never going to let me live it down if that happens. For those of you who deal with the inappropriate thoughts and have gone through this, do y'all have any words of wisdom? Thanks!
|
OCD
|
I’ve just started exploring autism over the last month or so after my son got recently diagnosed and have noticed a great number of websites/videos from the countries listed above compared to the U.S. Is it because they’re on the forefront on diagnosis and treatment compared to the U.S. or something altogether different? My wife is in the MH field here in the states and she would tell me that it’s very difficult to find help here.
|
aspergers
|
I am not sure why this is, but I feel like as a parent with PTSD, I have become extremely overprotective of my 9 month old child. For example, when my baby was 3 months, my mother in law was invited over. She jokingly hit my husband on his arm a few times when I was not there. From then on (6 months ago) I absolutely do not want her to visit anymore.
Also, just the very idea of daycare or having someone else (besides my husband) watch my son just makes me cringe! Literally chills down my spine. Some of it is rational while a lot of it is magnified x10 of what I think a normal mom might think or act. If that makes sense. Does anyone else deal with this? Just curious. Thanks!
|
ptsd
|
I have a bad habit of avoiding things I don't like/don't wanna do - to the point where I'll just completely not do it. Writing papers, studying, any type of work thats going to actually take time and make me think.
I used to be able to force myself if I had time constraints/due dates but now I can't even force myself with those.
On the other hand, if I'm doing something I enjoy I can't stop myself for just keeping on doing it. Video games, reading, binging shows - I'll just completely overdo it until I'm bored of it or I've just killed it on myself.
I'm trying to get a better hold on my life lately so I'm looking for any tips/ideas/etc.
To give a bit of background, I've always been like this, just not to this extreme. I got worse after I went through treatment for breast cancer (chemo, radiation, surgery, etc.) and I'm on meds now that are like an oral chemo, as well as an antidepressant (venlafaxine) and an adhd med (vyvanse). I'm on some pretty strong pain meds too because I have avascular necrosis of the hip and am getting a hip replacement next week.
I know that's a LOT but I just wanted to give some context. Any help/suggestions would be appreciated.
|
ADHD
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Over a month ago I went out with my friend we had a few drinks and decided to go to the nightclub to see what it’s like as i haven’t been clubbing for like 3 years. I remember most of the night like when I went to the club and walking home I remember me and my friend talking to friends we bumped into and I can even remember what the people were wearing and other small details I don’t remember much of the conversations though and I remember me and my friend dancing on our own for a bit and deciding to leave the club early as we felt tired and I felt really bad going out clubbing without my boyfriend. We was at the club for at least 2 hours. My mum said when I got in I seemed drunk but not overly drunk. I always get scared if I done something bad after drinking as before I use to black out and have done bad things like at the start of me and my boyfriends relationship I blacked out and a boy kissed me and I didn’t pull away and would flirt with people, my boyfriend has forgiven me for this but I’m so scared if this happens again and I wouldn’t remember it or repressed the memory of it. My friend said nothing like that happened and we didn’t even speak to any boys but I’m scared if she doesn’t remember either? I keep having these memories of me dancing with someone or hugging them or even kissing but each time the memory changes to a different person and to a different scenario? I can’t sleep or anything in case I did do something and just repressed the memory? Everyone keeps telling me that me or my friend would of remembered. I’ve recently been diagnosed for ocd and I’m waiting for therapy and waiting list is 7 months I’m not sure what to do I feel like I’m going crazy and that my boyfriend doesn’t deserve me I have this really bad guilt and keep worrying what if I don’t have ocd what if it’s just an excuse in case I did do something bad what if the memories are connected to something that did happen. I’ve had false memories before so I just feel so lost
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OCD
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No matter where I am or what I'm doing, I can't wait until I can go home. And do absolutely nothing. And I hate it.
It makes me seem like I don't care about people and don't want friendships, when I do. It makes me seem rude and in a rush all the time, when I don't want to be. I've always felt this way and I really wish I didn't.
I just hate the fact my brain is constantly fighting my wants for a normal life... And always wins. Sorry for the rant.
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ADHD
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Most of my issues with my subtypes of OCD are mental (fortune telling, mind reading, social anxiety). I have worked on them before but never really got through this particular issue, especially because I was employed so I could avoid it all too easily. Any advice is helpful. On the flip side when I can get myself into it then I start compulsively applying, which might sound helpful but the quality of those applications is terrible. I’ll sot around all day and apply for 50 jobs until I’m too tired to function and getting nothing else done.
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OCD
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I don’t know if it’s an ADHD thing but oh my god I’m so bored. Everything is so boring. Everything is pointless. Everyone seems depressed. It is like nothing can makes me vibrate. It’s a bit like if I had explored everything and I knew everything.. Just like a game you throw away cause you finished it and it become boring.
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ADHD
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I know this is an old issue but I was discussing it with my parents recently and they insist that I started showing Autistic traits immediately after getting the MMR. They said I got sick with a fever and hives right after getting it and that when they told the doctor he said to look out for neurological issues as well. My parents say that after getting the vaccine I was completely unable to sleep in a bed by myself until I was around six. I had previously slept occasionally in a bassinet next to my parents' bed without problems but after the vaccine I wouldn't go to sleep by myself at all. They also listed a few other things that they say happened right after I got the vaccine but I can't remember all of them. They also said they had friends who delayed getting their son the MMR until he was three and that he developed like a normal child until getting it, but that afterward he regressed and became severely Autistic.
I'm still skeptical about all this, but I haven't done a lot of personal research into it yet. Does anyone know if there's a medical explanation for what my parents experienced and/or have helpful links to articles that thoughroughly explain the facts?
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aspergers
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I tried so hard for a month. Thanks to meds and the fact that I study English Filology (as a foreign language, hence the grammar mistakes I make) which really interest me focusing on lectures wasn't a huge issue. Though on the more borring ones I was sometimes over focusing on doodling, especially when I forgot to take the meds.
But I'm dropping out because I struggle a lot outside of school - I'm always getting late and miss the first lecture, there are lectures I've never even been to before because of it.
The reason why I'm late is a mix of falling asleep too late, thinking I have way more time than I actually have, battling myself because after meds I have the urge to do anything but getting ready, like preparing a meal or cleaning my room, using my phone instead of getting ready, lack of motivation etc.
I tried to stay positive and focus on things I've done well, for example "at least I got ready in time" after getting late because of additional and unnesseary tasks I gave myself.
I also struggle a lot with learning and making notes. I make myself do more than I actually have to which demotivates me from learning even though I enjoy it. I also forget about it. I always plan to start learning in a few minutes, forget about it, plan to do that the next day and end up not doing anything for two weeks.
Today I overslept again because I thought I had time. It was the last straw, I decided to go back home. I messaged my mum, asking her to help me out but she said she's tired of seeing me smoking and not doing anything so she offered to help me out with renting a flat after I'll get kicked out from the dorms for not studying.
I applied for a job and will attend lectures until I'll start to work. I don't exept to be accepted for the first job I applied to so it will take time.
But I feel so lost. There's a huge chance I'll mess up at work too. I'm fucking useless. I gave up on my dreams because of this stupid ADHD, I won't be able to work, I won't be able to take care of my animals etc. My life has no purpose, I'm just a leech unable to take care of myself. I'm pretty sure I'll end up being homeless when my mum will stop supporting me and my bf won't help me out.
I also feel like I'm just being lazy because my mum and bf keep telling me to just "wake up early and get ready". I feel like I'm the problem and use ADHD as an excuse..
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ADHD
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I am already with a therapist and it is going great, but there is one thing that I can't really explain and I can never find the right words. I am afraid that I am a homophobe or just a horrible person in general. Because here is what I think goes in my mind and I hope someone can confirm it's OCD or something. One day I got a thought: "What if you really hate gay people? What if you just hate everyone in your life and you are just using them?" and of course I got afraid and scared and I think one part of my brain was like "Oh yeah that's true you are that!" and now every time I see a gay person or friend my mind goes blank and goes back to those thoughts. One thing I can say is that before OCD I want to think that I NEVER had problems with any gay person or friend EVER!!! ever since I got OCD (and it is confirmed) I can't remember what it was being a normal person with normal thoughts or just like your own opinions without overthinking. Thank you for your time if you decide to reply!!!!
​
P.S. I only have the Pure OCD type and I got some stuff controlled but this is the one thing that is bugging me right now.
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OCD
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Just a disclaimer: this works for me, it might not work for you and I’m fairly young and started treatment early
So basically I’m doing something called ERP (something ritual prevention), where whenever you have a compulsion you do something slightly different (instead of washing hands five time, only wash three), keep changing it until it ceases to exist. It takes time, and it’s not always a hundred percent effective
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OCD
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For as long as I known I’ve had OCD, right now my theme is POCD (the worst).
Basically what has triggered me tonight is a post I seen saying that men who are attracted to girls who are shaven, have no opinions, no desires etc are attracted to children.
I totally disagree that women shouldn’t have opinions, it is wrong to say that they should have the same opinions as men and they should have as many desires as they like.
However, the last girl I had sex with was shaven and I was attracted to it. Therefore I am worrying that this is evidence I am a pedophile. The girl was my age but I now feel sick and am panicking
Advice? (18M)
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OCD
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I have been having intrusive thought all my life since I was in UKG but it has gotten a lot worse lately . It is so nerve wraking that I am scared all the time just thinking about it . I saw many videos on how to remove it but they say that you have to ignore but what I see are almost always severely disgusting , So disgusting in fact that I cant even express how much. I am not gonna tell you what the thought is . Anyways the videos always tell you to ignore it and treat it as any other thought but I am afraid I am gonna like it or it is gonna change me. It is scary too. The very thought of intrusive thoughts scare me and I even have trouble breathing because of it. GOD! IDK why but I sound so obnoxious typing this
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OCD
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TW- Abuse, mental illness, cursing
I am frustrated, I lived in a bad situation when I was younger resulting in my head being pretty fucked up. My mother dealt with the same abuse (since we lived together) but because it never became physical with me and she believes that abuse is ONLY physical that I am fine. She is an older parent and doesn’t understand this “new mental illness thing” and I can’t get into a conversation about it with her without her getting defensive because if I have PTSD it makes her feel like a failed parent.
“ Did I really give you such a bad childhood that you are this upset”
I have a lot of support from my partner but I feel like I lean on her to much. Most of my newer friends don’t even know what happened, if they didnt know me during this bad period than they don’t need to know about it, it’s not worth the questions. But I would expect the people that not only knew me during this time but lived through it with me to understand my struggles with it. My negative situation “ended” 3 years ago but yet it affects me everyday, my mother seems to be over it. She has her abuser in her will and wants a relationship with them yet says if they ever came into our house again she would die. I don’t understand at this point and it is honestly making me distance myself from my own mother.
I have had health professional tell me I have PTSD, yet it is something I still have issues processing because I feel like my mom diminishes what happened. If she is okay, why am I not, am I just dramatic? She gets so defensive about my mental health because again, if I am fucked up, it reflects bad on her. I honestly want to go to therapy but the last time I did my mom encouraged me, told me she was proud of me for working on myself but when I said the stage I was at in my counseling made it extremely hard for me to come home for a holiday I became a bad person. When I told her that it made me afraid for my life to come home, she told me she would disown me if I didn’t. She acts supportive until it affects her and I am tired of it.
I have started lying to her about my life, telling her I am working holidays so she doesn’t blame me for “ breaking up our family”. I don’t tell her about any big life decisions anymore and it upsets me so much, not because I am lying but because I have too.
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ptsd
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Hey!
Started my first day of ERP today, have ocd on the fear of the afterlife after a dark trip several years ago.
I have had several different health ocd’s, religious ocd’s, pure o and now it’s moved to a dark trip (that originally was the most beautiful thing that happened to me and was in the best, ocd free part of my life!!!)
I have used ERP before on various different ocd areas and have had ocd to lie dormant for years at a time. This one is especially hard though as of-course, death is uncertain.
Lots of love to all of you... this shit is so hard!
I’m looking for a psychologist as we speak
B
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OCD
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I am only 15 years old. It feels like, on paper, I have everything I ever could've asked for. I grew up with a father with severe bipolar disorder and anger issues, and mostly absent mother. I am 6'3 and go to the gym on a regular basis and I am in very good physical shape. I lost my virginity at 14, to a girl who was 5 years older than me. I started smoking cigarettes and weed at 13, and my first time drunk I was 10 years old at my older cousins high school party. I fell in love with a girl my own age over the past year, and she cheated on me. I deal with everyday what was wrong with me, why I wasn't enough. Why my mom choose a needle over me. Why she was almost never there, why she would steal from her son to buy drugs. My dad always tried his best to raise me, and I thank him for that. I have no idea what mental illness I have. I've had terrible anxiety since I was 12, and sometimes have panic attacks so bad I feel like I'm gonna die. I failed algebra 1 this year, and my dad has never been so disappointed in me. I got jumped, really badly, by 3 kids in august. On the last day of summer. Every time I think of it, I start shaking and feel like I'm gonna puke. I've been getting called a faggot everyday at school since I was in 6th grade. Even though I'm bigger than everyone, mentally I'm small. I'm a coward. I can't imagine beating someone up, I just take the insults and don't do anything about it. I lost my best friend to cocaine and ketamine freshman year (this year.) I did cocaine for the first time a month ago. I felt better than I ever have before. I promised myself I'd never do it again. I've seen multiple people throw their lives away to drugs. My close friend dropped out of school and is now living in a homeless shelter. I saw him recently, he lost a lot of weight. He tried to rip in braces off and chipped all of his teeth. I love music more than anything. It's all I've found attachment to over the years. I still struggle with an addiction to nicotine, and I try to get a hold any alcohol or pills I can. My grandpa, is in the hospital currently, hour by hour he gets closer to passing. All I can think about is the memories I made with him as a kid. It isn't a natural age death either. Cancer. I feel infinitely hopeless in life. Like how can it ever get better. She moved on. I can't. I have mounds of trust issues. undiagnosable mental illness. I constantly think of suicide. Nothing that I use to like interests me. I've greened out so many times I have marijuana-induced disassociation. Nothing even feels really anymore. I've been banished from my own mind. I dream of one day being a writer, or a musician. Writing screenplays or novels. Write music even. I want to have hope for the future, I really do.
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depression
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I have kind of reached a point with my OCD where I obsess over thoughts I’ve already had. Its fucking painful, and to constantly have the the thoughts after or during a conversation such as “I’m manipulative, or I need to stop being mean” even when I’m not. Anyways I would be interested to know what other people use to cope, my therapist has mostly suggested to notice my thoughts label them and to meditate but I wish there was more I could do? Any support is appreciated thanks (:
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OCD
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I’m 17 and at the final grade of high school but I just don’t care that much about the future. I don’t care I want but I just can’t, I always procrastinate always wanting to finish everything up so I can go back to playing or watching movies or comics or mangas it’s just I wish sometimes that I was immortal so I can roam the earth without any repercussions , I wish that I’m not like this I wish that I really had a strong will to study but I just won’t I can’t I don’t know why and btw I have fun I smile stuff like that but anything for the future is is just. My dream is to become a programmer so I can have a wide range of jobs that I can apply too then to fly to Denmark or the United Kingdom or Sweden or even norway I just don’t know how I can get motivated. I was never the smart type all from 6th grade till 8th grade I was just skipped they were just helping in exams and it wasn’t just for me it for everyone who failed nobody took thought for one second what will happen to these children in the future and now look at me what a fucking stupid dumbass that can’t leave the internet for a couple of hours just to study. They caused this and the only way to fix this is to muddle through it like a stray dog. Honestly fuck them they caused more harm then good
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depression
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I'm finally ready to go into the field and show people what I'm fucking made of, who's GOD, and I fianlly have time to do what I like!!!!!!!!!!
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depression
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My OCD has gotten significantly better through therapy and hard work, but I feel like fighting OCD and my continued need for therapy don't leave me much energy for a normal 9-5 job. I really excel in my work with part-time jobs, but I'm getting to the age where I need to start my career.
Does anyone have any advice about this or has anyone experienced the same thing?
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OCD
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Everyday I see 7-8 of them and they're hardly Asperger's related just general personality stuff and I find them quite annoying.
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aspergers
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How do I connect with people when I don’t want them to know anything about me? I’ve developed serious issues, can barely function and feel like an empty shell. No, I don’t want to tell you about myself (super private) or how I spend my time (managing symptoms or trying and failing to get things done) or my hobbies or interests (I don’t have any, anymore). And trying to avoid or even slightly explain (nobody understands, even if they say they do) just makes me seem weird and suspicious or sketchy. And I just don’t have it in me to keep trying and handling the added pain and rejection. The feelings of worthlessness when I know I really am a great person. I just happened to have gotten really fucked up by some really messed up stuff.
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ptsd
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I don't remember ever having a serious problem with eye contact until I reached my mid-20s, when I had a medication-induced breakdown. By that point I'd had terrible social anxiety for years, but my main issue until then had been more complicated interactions (like establishing friendships and work relationships). I could still physically be around people to hold brief conversations though, and didn't mind making eye contact despite being pretty awkward.
Since the breakdown, I've had trouble looking anyone in the eye, even family members I didn't used to have a problem interacting with. Eye contact feels overly intense, and I end up staring at people in an attempt to look "normal" while being unable to fully process what they're saying. I get extremely uncomfortable trying to talk to someone face-to-face because I have to make eye contact, but have much less difficulty conversing when we're not looking at each other.
Has anyone else experienced something similar, where you developed an aversion to eye contact in adulthood without having issues with it before that? If you have, what do you think happened to you? To this day, I still can't figure out what happened to me.
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aspergers
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I’m 19f and I take care of myself much more than I did when I was younger. I still can’t get over this feeling though and constantly feel like a complete mess compared to everyone else. I used to just stick loose papers in my backpack when I was younger and my notebook would be full of sketches I did in class. Looking back I can imagine how scattered I looked to everyone else. I was diagnosed in high school probably because I wasn’t hyperactive. I did get in trouble a ton in elementary school for talking too much but generally I think I started to feel different than others in middle school.
Once I was in middle school the work load started getting heavier. There was very clearly something wrong with me because I was always leaving things to the last minute, couldn’t remember things, lost things, came to class late all the time, etc. You know the usual things people with ADHD struggle with. No one at the time suspected I had ADHD so I was just treated like a person who was lazy and totally incapable of doing anything. I beat myself up constantly and wondered why I couldn’t just be normal. To get back to what my title was about I felt like my behavior was very different from what was expected of girls. I was wondering if this is a common experience.
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ADHD
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20(F), I’m currently on 40 mg of Prozac which I’ve been taking since I was 17 (the dose increasing and decreasing depending on my state). My entire family is urging me to begin decreasing my dose and getting off them. I personally don’t want to since they still work for me. There’s also a psychological comfort behind it too since knowing that I’m on meds is reassurance that I have OCD and that my obsessions aren’t real.
I’m currently in a ‘remission’ sort of state where I don’t experience many OCD symptoms anymore. I still have spikes but they don’t occur as often and they might only last a few days as opposed to months/years. The intrusive thoughts are still there but I’m better at just leaving them there and not acknowledging them.
The thing is that I’ve been through these sort of remission of symptoms before , even since I started Prozac. A pesky theme still comes back to haunt me for an extended period of time after a while, although they’re MUCH less distressing than they were pre Prozac.
Dunno, my family tells me I should get off them because I’m fine now and because they’re worried about long term effects. I wanna stay on them longer but I’m beginning to get worried that the reason I want to stay on them is because I’m lying to myself about having OCD and I was actually misdiagnosed.
Thoughts?
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OCD
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I am extremely indecisive to the point where it impacts my life. I have ocd and might have ADHD and I was wondering if my indecision is an ocd symptom or could be a part of ADHD as well.
Like when it comes to picking mundane things like ice cream flavors, I cannot choose for the life of me. There are too many options that are equally good for different reasons and I become paralysed with indecision and just ask other people to choose for me. I can't even choose how many scoops I want. It's annoying and stressful.
When it comes to more heavy decisions like choosing whether to date someone, or which school to attend, I become so paralysed and stressed because I weigh each option and they come out infinitely equal and i get so stressed out because choosing the wrong option has bad consequences.
When I have no pressure from people around me (line online shopping for things I don't need/dont matter) decision making becomes so much easier sometimes.
I think this might be ocd, but some parts could be ADHD as well. Let me know what you think
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OCD
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First, if I'm not posting this in the right place, I really am sorry. I am pretty new to Reddit and still trying to figure it out. 😅
So, I'm not really sure where to start and I'm sure I'll ramble, but since elementary I have always done really well in school, and had extreme anxiety. To the point I'd be having anxiety attacks almost every morning on the bus from worrying I forgot to do homework or forgot it at home. And if I did end up forgetting it, I would have a panic attack in class, to which the teacher would just send me to the bathroom to calm down. I always felt different, but then decided this just must be how it is for everyone and I just suck at handling it.
Flash forward to college and suddenly I am not doing well at all. I was valedictorian in high school, how am I doing so poorly?? So the end of my first college semester I told my mom I wanted to talk to the doctor about migraines (which I do get), but really to talk about anxiety. At my appointment I try to bring it up but start hyperventilating and swinging my hands to try and breathe, and scared my poor doctor. So at age 18 I started on antidepressants/anxiety meds. For the next few years my PCP would try different medications because nothing seemed to be having much impact. I gained a lot of weight and really just lost myself. My PCP suggested I go to the free counseling center on my college campus but for some reason I couldn't get myself to go.
I finally graduate and get my first "big girl" job. I loved it, got promoted, then my job hopping began. In the past three years, I've had six jobs. Each one I loved at the beginning and slowly got tired, bored, restless, whatever you want to call it. At one of my jobs, I worked at a mental health center and my office neighbor was a therapist and suspected I had ADHD, because 1. She was a therapist, 2. She was an intelligent woman who also had ADHD. My PCP wasn't too fond of prescribing a controlled substance so I had a low dose, extended release ADHD med. But it was too expensive because insurance stuff I don't understand. So I just kind of gave up.
In 2019, my brother got sick, and that prompted me to get serious about therapy. I was 23 at the time and found a therapist with an opening. She agreed that ADHD was a possibility but wanted to rule out bipolar and others. Also, I would have to go to a psychiatrist. I found a psychiatrist and she said I would have to do four hour testing. Excuse me? FOUR hours?
And then covid came around and everything kind of got pushed to the back. I quit therapy and my psychiatrist was switching positions. I was doing okay-ish but everything kept piling up. I could feel a huge breakdown coming. I make myself get back into med management, she suggests (encourages) therapy as well. My therapist is like "oh, yea, definitely ADHD and unfortunately with how severe yours is, not much is going to improve until we get meds." Which would usually make me a little hesitant but she's the type to really want to exhaust all options before going straight to meds. She puts in a referral and a month later I'm going to my four hour testing.
I have no idea what to expect, I'm nervous, I just want to cry and quit. It gets started and it's actually not that bad. Kind of fun. I hate talking about this, because I don't like bragging about myself but I truly am not bragging. But the tester (doctor) just keeps saying things like "holy shit" and other surprised phrases. I was like "oh no, it's horrible, I'm doing this all wrong and he's amazed someone could mess it up so bad." The next day we have our follow up and he's like "so, you don't have ADHD, but you are in the 99th percentile for your group in IQ." And honestly I am so hard on myself I would have been disappointed if it didn't come back high. He said one part I missed one pattern one and the only person he test that got them all right was an engineer of some type. And the only person to do better on spitting a story back at him was a news reporter whose job it was and had years of practice and mine was just my natural talent. After he finished I just broke down in tears and asked what was wrong with me then.
I feel so crappy because everyone is like congratulating me and saying how great that is. But to go for so long to feel like something is different about yourself, to feel like you struggle more than most at some basic things. And what does having an official statement of me being smart bring me? I felt so defeated and hopeless.
I continue with therapy, but I felt like we were getting nowhere, and it seemed my therapist was a little disappointed, too. But then yesterday I had an appointment and she tells me the doctor added ADHD diagnosis. She already talked to my psych nurse about starting ADHD meds. She seemed really hopeful and positive. I still felt really nervous for today (my psych nurse appt). I was so scared it would start and she would tell me it was a mistake and I don't have ADHD. But, no, she talked to the doctor, I do have ADHD, inattentive type. I just have to have a drug test and EKG and then she can prescribe meds.
I don't even know if this has a point. I've just been so overwhelmed, and feel so relieved, but still so scared. I kind of feel like the testing doctor was preoccupied with my IQ that he missed my ADHD? Or thought I was too smart to have ADHD even though that's not how that works? But I am thankful he revisited it.
If you've read this far, thanks. If you have any advice, different perspectives, anything, I'm open. I still feel so lost as it's still sinking in.
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ADHD
|
Hi! I'm 26 six years old female just diagnosed with ADHD. But I don't think I have it because I lack of serious forgetfulness.
​
The reasons I reached out for help that extremely affects my life:
\-On and off depression (Since adolescents)
\-Lack of motivation on everything
\-Anxiety
\-Disorganization (procrastionation, have written my thesis in 3 weeks, one year of work usually finished in 1 month etc., need deadline to finish those things throughout my life)
\-Addiction of alcohol (other substance abuse also occurs if it is possible to get them) and no control over it I JUST WANT TO STOP
\-Nail biting (since childhood)
\-Boredom (so binge watching via skipping and doing other stuff like playing games at the same time)
\-Sleeping tooo much (as long as I know myself)
\-Daydreaming (Extreme in childhood)
\-Focusing (re-reading at least 4 times to get things, thoughts or external stimuli disrupts, while talking to someone if subject or person is not interesting really hard time focusing trying so so hard to stay in the conversations it becomes exhausting)
\-Restlessness
\-Not knowing who you are
​
Reasons I don't think I have ADHD:
\-My parents seem normal expect my father who drinks as well, angry and gambling problem
\-I always keep up with responsibilities (appointments, school, exams, feeding the cat except messiness or house chores)
\-LACK OF FORGETFULNESS (everyone forgets thing they don't care, misplace stuff from time to time. My case yes I sometimes forget to take my medications, feed the fish, sometimes the therapy session that I don't feel like to join, birthdays of my loved ones, temporarily my doctor appointments-that I eventually remember. These things with short term memory never created serious problems in my life since I know myself)
\-Sometimes my brain is just blank and usually racing thoughts when I'm about to sleep or focusing and usually anxious and judgmental ones causing low self esteem. Not like a lot of ideas at a time. A brain that is usually bored and so critical thereafter I just shut it by distracting myself with multiple things.
\-Successful person (A really successful one they say but I know I can due better but procrastination. And sometimes these are not like my achievements I don't know)
\-Sits still (especially at school, usually punished or beaten at home due to hyperactivity as a child but punishment at school that comes with the feeling of embarrassment is even worse so I just sit still in class dreaming until the bell. After the bell let's beat the crap out of other kids- such a angry and aggressive child.)
​
I don't know there are other stuff that affects my life and similar to having ADHD that I cannot recall at the moment but as I said I'm not extremely forgetful as everyone with ADHD describes that affects my life seriously.
​
So should I go and consult some other professional?
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ADHD
|
Hi, so I’ve been on adhd medication for about two years. Tried a few other things but the ones I’ve been on long term are Ritalin, guanfacine, and adderal. Ritalin the longest and it’s what I’m on now.
Right now the effects I’m feeling from it is mostly energy and motivation. Before I take it I can barely get myself out of bed let alone do something productive. Not in a depressed way though just can’t force myself. Normally I take i split my pills and take it twice a day but today I took it all at once (which is technically how I’m prescribed) I’m not sure if it’s because it just kicked in but I honestly feel a little manic.
I’ve never had the whole “and then I saw the world clearly” moment with medication I’ve still struggled a lot. I would say they’ve helped but not as much as i wish. It does help with quieting and slowing down my brain.
Also I often wonder if I was misdiagnosed.. however I do not doubt that I do indeed struggle with very bad adhd symptoms. I just wonder if it is actually coming from something else or maybe the combination of something else and my adhd and that’s why it just keeps getting worse. To be more specific I might have bpd or perhaps asd(to some degree not sure). I know this is something I need to see a professional about but but I’m just hoping to get some footing on these thoughts as of right now.
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ADHD
|
I've been thinking I was sharing too much of myself on social media, so I started to cut lot of my posts in the middle of writing them. I didn't really vent on social media that much in the first place since I didn't want my online buddies to see them, but now that I've just entirely stopped I don't know what to do.
I have no reliable person to speak to about my negative feelings. (Not that I would do it anyways- I don't try to bother to plague people with the negativity I'm hiding inside) No counselor. Too tired to write my feelings down on paper.
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depression
|
Hi, I'm new to this so, greetings to all of you amazing people!
So just like the question says I'm kinda lame when it comes to eating before I take my meds and they wear off faster but I still managed to eat a couple of times and noticed the difference, is there a way or a strategy where I don't need to force myself to eat?
Every bit of info is welcome thank you in advance 😊
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ADHD
|
Hello
I've been feeling bad about things that happen in life for a long time ... and I feel like this is not going to get better ...
I don't have friends because everyone will forget about me and cared to be "friends" only when they need it. I finished a long relationship a year ago and since then I am a total failure to relate to women who I feel are only looking for me out of interest or it is simply not what I am looking for, also the career I study I feel that it is too much pressure and I am disappointed to know that I am not the same as before.
In short, I feel like the loneliest person in the world and there are days when I don't want to wake up. This is just the shitty life I'm facing right now.
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depression
|
Hello, so I bought a gift for person A I regularly talk to for his birthday and this person is friends with a close person B mine.
I have never met that person A and weve only known each other for about 2 Months but we talk regularly and even had a deeper conversation once. And since its his birthday today I bought him a present. And he was happy about the fact I got him something.
But later I receive a message from B asking me why I bought him a present, calling a bit weird with the reasoning that Ive never met him before, Ive asked what the rules are and if B could elaborate but as theyre busy I havent received an answer yet. I tried google searching but couldnt come across anything solid really.
It personally felt right and good to buy a gift, its why I did it
Thank you
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aspergers
|
It's hard to put this to words because it's so awkward, weird, and basically makes my brain feel like it's turned off. Still, I have an inexplicable problem with going to any schooling or classes.
​
In American High School, I had a hard time getting myself to go to school, or when I was there, staying *in school* until the day was done. So usually, I would skip before the end of the day and fuck off. At the time, and shortly after it, I thought this was due to me being very, very depressed at the time, which I was. Now though, I don't think it was entirely.
I would confidently say that I'm no longer depressed, mainly because all my stressors in life are primarily gone (school, a situation with an ex-friend, I live with my partner now, etc.). Still, I'm having a hard time with any post-high school education now too.
I live in the UK now, taking an intensive language class (Welsh Mynediad). I'm having this same problem come up again. I find it completely inexplicable; I don't hate the class or the subject at all; I love my tutor, classmates, and the language, but I just can't stand *being in class. Of course, all* the classes are still online, but I doubt that's what's bothering me. Honestly, maybe it's it being early in the morning (09:30)? I can't figure it out.
So I'm left at the last two things I can think of, ADHD & Anxiety, either working together or it being one or the other. I, unfortunately, can't get any help for my ADHD or Anxiety here, so I have no meds to help with this, either.
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ADHD
|
I had cancer two years ago and just been struggling big time. I went to a psychiatrist that told me it’s PTSD. I’m sorry if this is rude but that’s such a big diagnosis is it applicable to my circumstance? It feels good to know a diagnosis but at the same time I’m a little overwhelmed. Am I just overthinking??
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ptsd
|
Ive severe debilitating ocd
When i microdose ambien, it just ....completely goes away
Its magic.
I should be on several medication with huge side effects, not being my self one and feeling like a walking dead.
But with this, im totally free
What should i do ?
Be concerned about this pill ?
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OCD
|
we recently added another dog to our family, and it's hard for me. i have immense guilt that my other dog is lonely etc. i feel the compulsion to "even out" the love any time i show affection to one and immense sadness when my partner "favors" one or the other. i also feel guilty if i feel like when evening it out.... i may have given one more attention than the other.
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OCD
|
I’ve always had health anxiety but after losing a family dog in a very traumatic fashion I am obsessed with my dog and anything happening to him. He’s two years old and healthy, but I fear everything. Today I saw him trip over some of his toys while walking around and I’m convinced he has something going on cognitively. Before that I was worried that he ate something off of the ground that could have possibly been ibuprofen (even though there was none on the ground) before that he sniffed a closed container of antifreeze and I freaked out because I was convinced he was going to die. It’s absolutely taking over my life. The thoughts are so powerful that it’s not as easy as “breathing through it” I need help. Has anyone combatted this?
|
OCD
|
I need to be able to create in order to be happy. To do something just for me and feel the satisfaction of seeing an idea come to fruition. I used to draw but I haven’t been able to pick up a pencil for years now. I want to learn music but I’ve become so fucking stupid from depression that I just can’t commit to anything anymore. I feel so incapable that it just makes me hate myself more. I’ll never be anything.
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depression
|
So I was on the toilet(I like to sit down while on the toilet even though im male) and then i thought about pulling up my penis so everyone can see9theurs a big window next to my toilet btw but its blurry when you look through it and i think i may have acted on it
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OCD
|
Hey everyone, first time posting here. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and was prescribed Adderall XR 20mg at first but now I’m on 30mg. I was just wondering, how many mgs does it release at a time? Does it release some of it after taking it, and slowly for the rest? Couldn’t really find an answer online, would appreciate if anyone knows. Thanks!
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ADHD
|
So when I am working, I feel exhausted and I just feel like sleeping. It doesn’t matter how much sleep I get and the same would happen to me when doing something I don’t want to do like when I was in school or university and in a class or writing an essay.
However if I go and do something I enjoy like I go shopping, talk to a friend or go on a night out I feel totally normal and I have loads of energy. Does anyone else experience this? It’s so draining doing work while struggling to keep my eyes open. It’s literally like I go between falling asleep to feeling really energised just like that by switching to something I enjoy.
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ADHD
|
scenes of these type seem to give me a strange emotional reaction. i feel like crying, but in a good way. some examples, my favourite scene in apocalypse now is [Do Long Bridge](https://youtu.be/g7AC2H3D66M?t=4) scene, when the carnival music begins playing along with the lights in the background, i teared up when i first saw it. the [Opening Sequence](https://youtu.be/GtgylVZY89k?t=54) from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. [Billy Lenz screaming](https://youtu.be/bLSmnATVx3U?t=847) in Black Christmas. [this scene](https://youtu.be/b0Jpkhmn2ek?t=142) from Boogiepop Phantom and [this](https://youtu.be/6tgG3nYEp_0?t=995) from Key the Metal Idol.
recently i have begun to get into Shinya Tsukamoto's films, i have seen [Tetsuo: the Iron Man](https://youtu.be/qR7_lgK0bN4) and [Fires on the Plain](https://youtu.be/nbilru-q01U?t=984), i am about to see [Bullet Ballet](https://youtu.be/hSvl0SaM6D8) and it gives me that feeling just from the trailer alone.
is there any kind of scene that gives you a strange emotional reaction?
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aspergers
|
Is it true that it is more common for AS people to become interested in Buddhism? I certainly am a bit interested in it, and at least it makes more sense than Christianity. I'm more of a non-believer but I'm skeptical since I've done astral projection and seen ghosts...and since my life lacks purpose, I see it as a way to cope. Anyways, just wondering if any of you are Buddhists, how did you become one, and why?
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aspergers
|
I live in a state where they can prescribe me medicine, and its $150 for the assessment and $200 for the medication appointment. Has anyone gone through with the medication appointment and actually gotten prescribed adderall or something like that? Some people have said that its a scam while other people have said that they actually have gotten prescribed something from them so I just wanna hear y’all’s experience with them.
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ADHD
|
Got diagnosed at 26 and am 27 now. I’m a teacher and remember my first year at age 25 I literally couldn’t plan enough lessons for an entire school day and would have to nap on the kids rainbow rug for 20 mins after they left just to be able to make it to my car and drive home.
I dropped half of my prescription in a parking lot a couple weeks back (whoops) and got most of them but some got crushed or lost. I can pick up my refill tomorrow after work but damn it’s crazy how much of a difference it’s made! Had to nap on my rug after work today and have nothing planned for tomorrow! Just thinking about doing anything productive feels painful, I’m exhausted, and I’m so indecisive when not medicated!
Been medicated for 1.5 yrs now and am so grateful.
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ADHD
|
Hello everyone, first post here and honestly I feel rather out of my depth, I'm not sure if this is the right place for it but I'm looking for some advice to help my girlfriend. she has no diagnosis of any kind for context but is working towards one. all her life she has fidgeted with different things to reduce stress and anxiety and to focus, for most of her life she has messed with the edges of pillows, rubbing them and pulling at them which creates a hard mass she finds comforting, however she's found that it often breaks and leaves her extremely depressed and overwhelmed. We've spoken about this and she's come to the conclusion that it may be best to find something as a substitute. does anyone have any advice as to what she could use in its place? Preferably something more durable and won't break easy. I know there are fidget toys that could help however nothing seems too aimed at the type of fidgeting she does. If you have any other kind of advice too we would deeply appreciate it, I hate seeing her so upset. Thank you wonderful people and good day :)
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ADHD
|
I just want to know how you’re all dealing?? Sometimes I just don’t feel like myself and that I have become so apathetic. I try to be as empathic as I can on the daily but that feels so draining now. What do you do to feel empathic? It also sucks cause my OCD bounces off my apathy and has caused me to deal with new themes.
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OCD
|
over the years i’ve had so many different compulsions- researching, repeating phrases for hours, washing my hands all day, avoiding everything, getting reassurance etc. but ruminating is absolute torture. i just keep thinking about the same thing over and over for months, and i try to stop but sometimes i start doing it unconsciously. and even if i don’t think about it for a few minutes i can feel it in the back of my mind. everything i see and do makes me think of it. i don’t even know what i used to think about all day, i can’t imagine not thinking about it. and ruminating barely ever actually gives relief. at least after my other compulsions i got some sense of relief and safety for a little while. like i’m at the edge of my sanity here
|
OCD
|
The idea is to drink a reasonable amount of water before bed, to need to get up and pee around the time you wake up.
I know this sounds bizarre and kind of a weird way to wake up, but I had the idea when I woke up today to pee it was almost the time I needed to wake up anyway so I thought "ehh, I'll just stay up".
It was easier and less stressful than waking up to an alarm, and it forced me out of bed since I had to go to the washroom. Seems like the perfect way to wake someone like me up.
The hard part would probably guessing how much water to drink, as to not wake you up too early or not wake up on time.
TL;DR: timing when you pee in the morning to both wake you up and get you out of bed.
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ADHD
|
Im 12 yrs old and I’ve been feeling really bad lately and i saw a video online saying the symptoms of ocd. I took i test online and it said I did have it but I really didn’t want to make a huge deal of it. I told my friends I’m close too but I felt like couldn’t tell them because there both doctors. What I mean by this is that every time I’m sick they tell me I’m fine and I never stay home from school. I’m worried they’ll just tell me I’m fine and never bring it up again.
I feel like this next thing is a bit stupid but it is one of my biggest insecurities. When I was 10 my mum let me get tiktok then about a year later she made me delete it. For a year I have been lying to people about not having it. And now my mum has blocked me even going on to it on the internet. I feel so stupid saying this because I know that it’s just social media. The other thing is Snapchat. Most people have stopped making group chats on WhatsApp and used Snapchat more. I feel so left out of everything and even my friends lied to me and told me that they only had one group chat and that was the one I was in. I have tried to explain how I feel to my parents but it just ends up with me crying and them doing nothing about it.
The next thing is about my sister. For the past few months I have realised that my parents favour my younger sister over me. If we have a argument I’m the one to get in trouble and it’s just things like that. When I have told my friends about this they kinda laughed as they thought I meant it as a joke. I think it may have been my fault as I expressed it like that.
The last thing is my ocd itself. The things that make me nervous or worried are cupboards or draws being open when I go to sleep or if my blinds aren’t pulled all the way down and you can see the window. I also often have violent intrusive thoughts. Are these things normal? And is it normal for my age group?
If you’ve read to the end of this because I know it is long then please comment some suggestions or replies and I will be available to reply to your answers.
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OCD
|
Is this a good thing? I had it done yesterday for the first time.
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ptsd
|
Genuinely tired of life and depressed. I can't keep going on. Nobody cares about me either, I've been treated like shit my whole life. I'm tired. I dont wanna wake up anymore
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depression
|
I can’t do this anymore by Brain is always coming up with new fucking shit
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OCD
|
Whenever I tell someone something that I don’t want anyone else knowing no matter how small it is..I always have to say “Don’t tell anyone I said that.” And I also feel like I need reassurance from people that they like being around me and that I’m helpful. It’s also the same way at my job, I feel like I’m a bad employee until I hear from them that I’m doing good. Is anyone else like this?
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OCD
|
I have had a long history of mental health issues going all the way back to childhood abuse. I started smoking weed in 6th grade and was an opioid addict by 8th grade. I’ve been to several rehabs, but I met my best friend at the first one I went to. Two years after we met she shot herself in the head with her fathers shotgun while they were on a week long summer cruise. After not hearing back the entire day we were supposed to hang out I drove to her house. Her car was their and her room light was on. No one was answering the door so I got really nervous and broke the window and when I walked in her room I saw what she did. I have nightmares every night about what she looked like. I wake up screaming with my face already full of tears. I have a therapist and a psychiatrist who have both been very helpful about treating every other aspect of the PTSD, Drug abuse, and BPD. However nothing they have tried have helped the nightmares at all. I’m perpetually exhausted but I keep pushing myself to go to work and class in order to keep myself busy so I don’t become an addict again. I feel like a lot of times I try my best to stay awake as long as possible because I know I’ll have the nightmare if I fall asleep. Does anyone have any tips to help, or even things they have found that can mitigate the nightmares entirely; I’ll take anything as I’m pretty desperate to stop seeing her in my sleep.
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ptsd
|
Tw: Pedophilia, Sexual assault
I’ve had GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) for five years now. I have been on treatment on and off. I was diagnosed with PTSD in June and everything clicked and so my antidepressant dose was increased and I was better then towards the end of July I experienced a trigger and I was a mess after that. My teacher groomed me and assaulted me when I was 11 and it’s almost 8 years and I haven’t fully healed. Anyway after that trigger, there were cases of sexual harassment in my school and it just causes me to spiral. I fainted and I know I’m in so much emotional pain but like I’m acting so strong cause one thing being assaulted robbed me off is the ability to be vulnerable. I just feel like I’m going back to a very dark time and I have applications due and I need to maintain really high grades to get into college but the triggers around me have been so much
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ptsd
|
My parents are dead. I'm unmarried. My teenage daughter just hates me. And that shit is actually the most hurtful.
She was the sweetest little girl. Her father chosed to create a new family. They don't have much contact. I tried to be supportive. I tried to talk to her. But she screams at me
, Hates me. I'm sick and tired to do this alone. I was single mom since she was 3. Even though I got new relationship I feel alone. Just this evening she passed me. Looked at me with disgust and said "so you're drinking your soda with a straw?" I looked at her and smiled, said yes. She went to her room. Didn't even say goodnight. I've failed all my relationships, but somehow I thought she and me would always have a harmonic mother and daughter relationship. When I try talk to her she calls me "pick me mom".
Since few months ago I need to force myself to shower, I don't have the energy anymore. I sleep all day when Im off work. I don't remember anything anymore. When I try to explain this to my boyfriend and daughter, they make jokes about me being pick me. Since my struggle to do basic stuff, few months ago I barely want to touch or kiss my boyfriend. He actually started to listen to me. How can I feel so alone when I have a family? Psychiatrist said teenage nasty behavior is actually normal, and yet I never hear other parents with the same problems.
And in all that. I just miss to be "small" once in a while. I miss my parents. I miss to talk to a "real" adult who actually would care for me, my feelings, talk to me, ask me about anything and everything.
Ask me stuff like a parent actually would do.
How can I function? When did your teenage daughter talk normal to you again? Because I miss her.
She goes to a psychiatrist as well.
I can't even write well, my feelings are all over the place, and yet I feel so numb.
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depression
|
Hi! I'd like to make a confession: I am really, really bad at dancing, to the point of being so awkward and bad that people cringe. Normally I hate dancing and never attempt to dance if there are people around. But sometimes people force me to, like in weddings and such, and I might stop resisting after a while (especially if I'm drunk) I probably danced publicly like 5 times in my life (I'm 35 years old so that's very rare) and they were all pretty awkward.
Are you good at dancing? I guess solo dances don't really count. I mean more like dancing with a group. I try to control my body and can never get into sync with others.
Also I realized that I just cannot learn dance moves by watching other people. One time we were at home with 2 friends and one of them said 'okay I'm gonna teach you how to dance'. She showed some very simple moves and asked me to do the same. I was frozen, because I didn't understand anything. I could see her move her body in a certain way but it absolutely does not translate in my mind to make me move my own body. She was very patient, she tried for like half an hour and we failed miserably. I was aware that it was probably hilarious as hell to outsiders and yeah, the other friend was just sitting there laughing out loud, even rolling-on-the-floor type of laugh. It was funny to me too, as much as it was embarrassing. After half an hour we just had to give up. Even when my friend held me and physically moved my arms and my body around, I wasn't able to do what she wanted me to do. I felt like a robot.
I guess this may not be the case for everybody here but I'm pretty convinced that this shows something deep about my autism. I cannot watch somebody do something with their body and do the same with mine. Same problem that causes weird posture, facial expression and body language issues. I wonder how common it is among people with ASD.
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aspergers
|
TW: near-death experience
About a third of a year ago, my then-partner had a near-death medical issue that I saved them from, but the panic I felt from that moment quickly morphed into Acute Stress Disorder and then PTSD. The panic attacks I used to have pre-PTSD were all sort of average - a psychological feeling, not a physical one - and now they're 90% physical, thundering heart, shortness of breath, numbness in arms and face, etc. I was a nervous person before, but seeing that accident happen to my partner (and the terror of losing them) and doctors not knowing why the hell it happened has pushed me into a state of panic whenever I experience anything slightly out of the ordinary, basically 0 to OMG-gonna-die. I'm feeling exhausted? Couldn't be because I spent yesterday moving a bunch of stuff, NOPE GONNA DIE. That bruise on my shin isn't going away really fast? Can't be because bad bruises take a while to heal, NOPE GONNA DIE. Doesn't matter I had an EKG and all readings say I'm really healthy - partner was too and nearly died, NO HOPE FOR ME.
Add to this the fact that partner and I separated suddenly just over a month ago (after being together nearly a decade) and I get the added thought AND NOBODY WILL KNOW YOU DIED flavor on there, and waking up in the middle of the night in a panic is much harder when I'm alone. Feeling crappy for being rejected by a partner and adding the physical fears onto it, and being nearly 40 - I feel like a stranger in my body. My trauma therapist has emphasized mindfulness, and my physical therapist is recommending good exercises to help work out pinched nerves and such, but I still feel remote from myself, tired of thinking about my body, and just exhausted at it. I fear that if I don't get over this, I'll be unsuitable for any kind of physical relationship with a new partner for a long, long time. I just want to feel even semi-normal, to work out and be physical and not be basically SCARED of myself so much. I didn't even think I was someone so frightened of death - I'm just FRIGHTENED, I guess, and god I am so sick of that.
I guess I just want to feel like there is some hope, that it's still really early for me, etc. I know time is relative and PTSD doesn't really care about that, but it's so hard to be patient. I've had to be so damn patient for so many things, and this just wears me out. Any hope would be great.
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ptsd
|
I’ve been sleepless since I woke up Sunday, struggling badly with my insomnia/paranoia/hallucinations for 3 nights in a row. I’ve only managed to sleep 3 hours in a single session Sunday. I worked today and yesterday, I was *so*grouchy and my brain was *so* foggy! My eyes started tearing up talking to a coworker because I’m exhausted and frustrated. Super embarrassing.
I have some really rough anniversaries this time of year. Distance from everyone except my partner has brought a lot of bad up to the surface. I’ve been having auditory, visual, and tactile hallucinations. My partner had to save me from walking into traffic when I disassociated recently. It’s been a scary time.
There’s nothing more frustrating than laying down exhausted, and spending another night awake and manic. I hope you all have a restful and easy holiday season as much as possible. Would love to hear about everyone’s holiday struggles!
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ptsd
|
Hi everyone, I’m still waiting on my proper diagnosis on if I have ADHD or not but looking at the past evidence I’m pretty sure I’m positive I have it.
I just wanna know if anyone has any pointers on how I can stop myself from thinking everyone around me secretly wants to get rid of me or think I’m some sort of cringe inducing weirdo (admittedly I can be pretty cringe but I’m trying to work on it). I just want to feel confident in myself again and feel like I can manoeuvre socially again, I feel like such a parasite or out of place sometimes that it’s really starting to get to me. Any advice would be appreciated really, thank you
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ADHD
|
Hi, I am Lielle. I am new to Reddit. I am blind person from Israel. I have an obsession for stomach sound. I am a male and I am wondering if it does heppands for somebuddy? I think on other womans stomach digesting or growling and want to hear this.
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OCD
|
We are a group of student consultants at Cambridge University, partnering with Orchard, a charity focusing on developing treatments for patients suffering from OCD. We have made a survey to understand what the OCD community feels are the most important areas of research regarding the disorder. Results would help guide research directions in the future and so it is for a really good cause.
This survey is very short and would take only around 5 minutes, we really hope you could help!
Survey link: https://forms.gle/HYdxxhDYiePxC4nB8
Thank you so much,
Cambridge Consulting Network Team
|
OCD
|
Today, I had a very frightful encounter (well, encounter that was kind of missed because I ran into my backyard and hid in terror until I made sure the man had moved on to the next house) with a door to door solicitor. I haven't been triggered this badly in months. It felt awful. Anyway, I was thinking, if I put a sign up saying "Please Don't Knock; I Have PTSD" do you think they would respect that? I also want to have it let them know you can be sued for causing emotional distress. But I worry that such a sign might invite bullying, or that teenagers in the area (who often walk past) to knock and run as a prank on me. But I want to do something to prevent people from knocking on my door. Anyone with a valid reason to be there will have my number and be able to call or text when they're here. There's no real reason anyone should knock on my door.
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ptsd
|
Bear with me here as I don't know how to describe it well. But yeah. It's odd, and I won't say it's all bad flashbacks either- but it does make me mourn in confusion. This certain feeling regarding memories I can barely grasp- yet I feel it. A lot of my memories are locked away for whatever reason, my brain blacks a lot out.
It's like nostalgia but not brought on by anything and feels bad. Makes me dissociate and it's very isolating.
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ptsd
|
Ive been feeling extremely stressed and overwhelmed recently, and I think I finally narrowed down why. I have a dozen things I need to get done, whether they’re errands or messages I need to send or chores, but when it comes down to it I either just freeze and don’t ever get started or I get distracted by something stupid and end up wasting all my time, or I just feel like a horrible person and do something more interesting. How can I convince my brain that these things I need to get done are exciting or fun enough to do them?? I need some way to hack my brain into motivating itself since executive dysfunction and whatever else is making me miserable.
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ADHD
|
My mental health has gotten so bad now I don’t even sleep anymore because I just spend every minute that I’m not at work, dreading the fact I have to go back and pretend everything is fine. I want to get up right now and drive somewhere and just breathe and be free. But I can’t :( it kills me everyday and it’s not getting any better
|
depression
|
Does anyone else have compulsive physical behaviors without the fear of anything bad necessarily happening to a loved one? Usually when people with OCD talk about behaviors like flicking switches a certain number of times or repeatedly checking things, they usually mention something bad happening to their loved ones. Either death or just being harmed. The thing is I don't have feelings like that but still do the same compulsive behaviours. For me I still have that constant nagging feeling of having to do it, but the fear or compulsion or whatever isn't necessarily directed at a specific thing like that, moreso it just won't let my mind rest unless i do it and it has to "feel" right physically. Know what i mean?
It makes me worried whenever I hear people talk about this because it makes me doubt whether or not I actually have OCD. But that's that's far from the only symptoms I have. I've been dealing with rocd and harm ocd for a while now and even my therapist agrees I have OCD.
|
OCD
|
Every night is the same shit. Yes, I know about not using a phone before bed. I know about "only using your bed to sleep". I exercise daily. I have a fan on for white noise. I've tried anything you can think of. (I'm on my phone now because I've been laying here for 5 hours wide awake).
I'm so tired of getting up completely exhausted every morning, pretending I didn't just get a solid 2-3 hours of sleep, sometimes less sometimes slightly more.
I think the longest I've slept in years was 8 hours, but that's only happened a few times. And even those times I woke up multiple times in the night so it wasn't actually 8 hours.
It's already hard enough to function with sleep. It makes me treat people terribly because I'm constantly annoyed by how tired I am.
But then the second I lay down in bed I'm not tired anymore. I feel like I'm gonna go insane if I have go much longer without normal sleep. It makes everything so much worse. I genuinely think about killing myself a lot because I feel like such garbage.
Espscially first thing in the morning because that's when I just begin to get tired but then I have to get up.
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aspergers
|
I'm currently staying at home and not wanting to leave the house (or my room, really) because of contamination OCD. Does anyone have ideas of things to do when you're bored that are 'safe' (aka encountering as little germs as possible) that aren't watching TV/movies or cleaning? Thanks!
|
OCD
|
It took me a long time but I'm starting to understand what Quentin Crisp (an Aspie) meant when he said: "never defend yourself".
He meant that there is nothing you have to be ashamed of. The deficiencies of other people are more real than their perceived shortcomings of you.
I work a lot with academics who make unrealistic demands day in and day out. The damage caused by their ego is bigger than what they think are my shortcomings.
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aspergers
|
My parents are both narcissists who, at their best, listen to my problems for a few minutes before going off about their own, and at worst won't speak to me for months. None of my high school or college friends have spoken to me in years. I haven't spent enough time in one job to get close with any coworkers. I thought I had a partner who would always support me, until I found out they've been cheating and lying for years, more than half the time we spent together.
Three weeks ago I confronted them, and they left me alone to pack up their things, and went on a romantic getaway with the sidepiece. A week and a half ago, they showed up to take the only bed and our pets, leaving me completely alone (and in nightly pain sleeping on a couch with scoliosis). In almost a month I literally have not seen another human, except these brief and very hostile interactions with someone who I recently learned never loved me.
I have no one to turn to, no one who cares even enough to listen, no support system of any kind. I don't know if it's because I'm a horrible person, or because I let my abusive relationship isolate me, or if it's just that I never found anyone who really cared in the first place. But for one reason another they all left, and now when I most need someone, I'm completely alone, in a barren house I can't afford alone, without my dog or my cat, with no friends, in a strange city. I doubt anyone will even read this thread, but I have to post it so I can at least have the illusion of someone listening. Maybe venting will at least keep me from being too self-destructive.
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depression
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