body
stringlengths 51
39.8k
| subreddit
stringclasses 5
values |
|---|---|
About a month ago, I started working in the kitchen of a senior apartment complex, and I’m getting increasingly frustrated with my issues with audio processing disorder. Kitchens are naturally places where there can be a lot of background noise, and most of my coworkers come from a different socio-economic background than I do, and there’s an associated accent that I can have a hard time deciphering, especially if the person is speaking quickly.
Once in a while, my brain even “lags” if someone is speaking slowly and clearly in a quiet environment, so this situation makes me want to scream. I’m sure that my coworkers think I’m stupid, due to the unskilled nature of my job and my behavior. Today I just got so frustrated that I told a coworker that I’m hard of hearing, which is technically true. People assuming I’m stupid infuriates me to no end, so obviously I need to get over myself and I’m hoping that I won’t be at this job for more than a few months, but I need ways to cope, so does anybody know of any tips or tricks to deal with audio processing disorder?
|
aspergers
|
Too much of a backstory is needed for this.
I'm homeless. I'm living in a tent in an unfinished garage with my 5 year old and 7 year old and my husband. I just want to be warm and comfortable. I want to be able to give them a warm bath before bed. I want to be able to sit comfortably on a couch. I haven't sat on a couch in months..
My water jugs are starting to freeze overnight. I had to start keeping a couple in the tent with us, not that there's room for that..
I used to have comfort.. I didn't have a lot, but i had enough. Enough to give my family a semblance of peace. Sure, the toilet was buggy and the windows were drafty. But it was a home.
"We need help" they said.
"Come live wuth us! We have so much space for you!" they said.
They were family. He had throat cancer, she was just getting old. They had more than 10acres of land, full of animals, to tend.
Months of offers, justifications, pleas, and promises. Finally we gave up our little bit and moved away, far far away. But it was all lies. They took our money, they took our peace of mind, they broke any promise they made. They threw us on the streets. A family of 4. In an area we didn't know. We were only with them one month.
But we all of a sudden had nothing. We were living in our car. It seems so impossible to get out of a hole this deep.
I broke my wrist so bad the doctor doesn't know what to do. So he gave me painkillers and told me to wait 9-12 months for an mri. I can't work. I'm so grateful my hubby can, so that the kids can at least have some food.
It has been almost 6 months in this garage. I don't know what to do. The nights are getting so cold we hardly sleep. (I'm in canada, in the foothills of the mountains, it's snowfall warnings every other day).
I try to get in with the housing authority but my PREVIOUS year income is too high.. Like that helps me at all right now...
I hope things get better soon. I don't want to have to call cps on myself, these kids are my life..
I'm sitting here, looking at my kids curled up together under a bunch of blankets, hoping against hope i can wake up smiling for them tomorrow.. If i can't give them anything else, I'd at least like to give them that
|
depression
|
I’m wondering whether I can ask my psychiatrist this medication for this disorder.
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/np74v7)
|
OCD
|
Good god, I’m just so tired of being upset. I can write down my feelings over and over, but it doesn’t make it any easier when they don’t go away.
I’m currently in a position that has me working 7PM - 7AM, so I can hardly get any social interaction let alone regular things done in my day to day without staying awake the whole day and going into work anyways.
Being out here is hella lonely. I’m just stuck looping my thoughts alone until I break down. I don’t get almost any messages from the couple of friends I have.
I feel like I could almost complain for hours… but it doesn’t do any good to upset others when I can’t stop creating my own issues.
I’m self-aware that all of my worries are self-imposed.
I also know that everyone is busy and doesn’t always have the time to put up with me.
But I just want to figure out so badly what to do.
|
depression
|
I might be having a mental breakdown? I feel like I'm not me..
|
ptsd
|
It can feel like trying to follow a set of arbitrary rules I don't know half of and trying to not mess up. Can be stressful. And of course the less communication you have the worse you get.
|
aspergers
|
BUT, funnily enough, I'm not even repenting. It's more amusing than self-hatred inducing... I've been in this situation so many times before. I'm just doing a me again, treating this situation with anything other than humor would just be self torture at this point. I'm failing once again at life, but at least I'm doing it with a positive attitude, so I guess I can count that as a success?
|
ADHD
|
So like I just recently matched w someone on tinder and I don’t have a pic on there because my self confidence is literally gone. And after talking for a bit I added her on sc, so that I can show her what I look like and….. you know when someone doesn’t even reply and just block you on sc and unmatch you on tinder. Well yeah that happened. The worse feeling is that I kinda know I don’t look good and I feel like I went for a girl that’s in my range. It just really sucks to be alone all the time and whenever I get a little bit of confidence to try something it always ends up like this. I personally don’t even know sometimes if living is worth this amount of depression. Been living for 21 years now btw.
|
depression
|
Hello
I have been haunting this feed and I find it amazing. I am a 58 YO male who has experienced ADD/ADHD symptoms my whole life but have never been diagnosed.
I have issues with depression. I regret that because of my condition have not achieved all that I feel I am capable of, and a desperate fear of failure. I don't want those who under estimated me to be proven right.
I have an appointment with my Dr. I am going to talk to him about being diagnosed at this late stage of my life with ADD/ADHD. He has tried me on SSRI's and bipolar meds. The bipolar meds do seem to have some effect but the SSRI's just make me angry. Like bad angry. He wants to try me on atypical antipsychotics. I am afraid of the side effect especially the weight gain so after doing some self study I have found that there is talk of a mix of ADD meds and atypical antipsychotics. I have had a heart attack in 2009 ( a very stressful time in my life) but I'm am OK now.
Has anyone had any experience with these types of med cocktails?
Thank you in advance
|
ADHD
|
...and they had me down for "social anxiety" talk therapy. I do not have social anxiety, I just don't UNDERSTAND the social game *Bangs head on desk*
After years of procrastinating, I finally reached out to a behavioral health clinician in September, via email, spilled my guts out and mentioned wanting to obtain an autism evaluation no less than 4 times (I just re-read my email to make sure I didn't f up). I was notified that I was placed on a wait-list of roughly 12 weeks...great.
12 weeks passed, many days of which I had been in extreme mental anguish and hoping to find someone who can help me understand. I got a call yesterday from an unknown number, ignored it like usual, and they left me a message. It's from the clinic! I finally work up the courage to call them back after preparing the conversation in my head all day today and it turns out that I just wasted 12 weeks.
I was told that I can join the evaluation wait-list which is between 6 and 8 months back logged. I feel like crying right now 😭
|
aspergers
|
Hi, I'd like to know what you think about a situation when you suspect some public person (well known Youtuber for example) to manifest symptoms of Asperger's and you point this out, discuss it on a forum like reddit. Can this automatically be labeled as rude and offensive, basically unacceptable or should such a public person be prepared to tolerate such discussions about his character?
|
aspergers
|
I can rarely order anything in person or talk on the phone without the other person being confused. I thought it was me until I paid closer attention to what actually came out of my mouth and realized it makes full grammatical sense, yet apparently it is a “miscommunication” because the other person didnt understand it. Why cant people understand English sentences?
Here is an example:
I went to a kava bar and ordered kava. They mix their kava with apple juice because they personally feel like kava tastes bad by itself. So I told the girl that I just wanted a cup of plain kava, without the juice or any flavorings. She looked annoyed and bewildered and gave me a cup with powdered kava and no water. She was even more annoyed when I told her that any rational person would have realized that by plain/no flavorings I meant in water and not dry powder.
|
aspergers
|
Mass shooting survivor here. Ever since the shooting, loud popping noises have been really triggering, which has really sucked when I try to have fires in the fireplace. Some logs tend to pop really loudly as they burn, and it's the opposite of the restful experience I want when I'm constantly jumping from the popping noises.
Well... NOT TODAY!!! I've currently got a really loud piece of wood burning, and I haven't jumped once!!! No flashbacks either!!!
It's refreshing to see some forward progress :)
|
ptsd
|
It's been a tough week. I have been suffering from ADHD since forever. Never taken medication though. I'm from a 3rd world country so most people don't take mental illness serious. Its been tough to live like this. I got a job finally as a assistant team lead. They fired me within a week as I was not good enough. I had real time concentrating and doing my job. A few words of kindness is appreciated. Cause I'm in a real bad place and I feel suicidal. Please help please be nice.
|
ADHD
|
I (22M) have BPD and PTSD. I have extreme difficulty getting close to people. For the most part, at best I’m completely apathetic towards people I meet, couldn’t give a shit if they lived or died, and at worst I absolutely fucking hate them. I don’t know why but it just feels like whatever part of people that makes them care about others and want to get invested in their lives is almost completely missing in me. I don’t even give a shit about my family. To be fair I don’t speak to my dad and I think if someone told me he was dead I’d probably laugh, and my mum and my sister put me through some pretty rough shit as a kid too. But still, I genuinely don’t think I’d care at all if any of them died tomorrow. It’s like I said, I feel like I’m missing a piece.
But there was this one girl who I used to work with and at first I thought she hated me. But eventually we got to Woking and she started to warm up to me. Pretty quickly we got really close, she started coming to talk to me on her breaks, started texting me heaps, asking to hang out outside of work and all that stuff. One night I had a fight with my mum and I got super drunk, cut myself up and tried to kill myself by taking a whole box of Temazepam. Got put in hospital and this girl found out from someone else and came to visit me in there. I’d opened up a bit about my issues before but she really saw how much of a mess I am that day. After that she told me she thought I should stay with her in the spare room at her mums place for a while and I did. Eventually I felt like I was imposing and I went. Back home, but that couple days was maybe the happiest I’ve ever been. After that she sent me drunk texts about how I was the funniest, coolest, most loyal person she’d ever met and I deserved to know that.
She helped me look for a place of my own and insisted that I wasn’t allowed to pay for movers because she was gonna help me move it instead. She even bought me goldfish cause she knew I was gonna be living alone and I think she wanted me to be responsible for something in case I thought about killing myself again. She was the first person to show me unconditional love and care and as a result, I fell completely in love with her. I knew she didn’t feel the same way and it started to kill me inside. I wanted to be around her all the time but it also hurt so much. I vowed I’d never tell her because I didn’t want to put her in such an uncomfortable position but one night I guess my emotions boiled over and I got really drunk while on a bunch of medications and texted her how I felt. I blacked out that night and had to be taken to hospital but a couple days later she texted me back saying she was livid that I’d done that to myself again (I’d said I was gonna stop drinking) and also that she didn’t love me like that.
I quit that job not long after and circumstance forced me to move away at the start of last year. She still texts me outta the blue very occasionally but we barely talk now. It’s been two months since we spoke and about a year and a half since we’ve seen each other in person. I was back in town for a weekend and asked if she wanted to hang out but she didn’t get back to me and when I asked why not, she said she forgot about it until it was too late and felt too guilty to respond. That was the last time we spoke, actually. Since then I’ve actually moved back in with my mum, in the same town I used to live in but I’m not gonna tell her I’m back, don’t want her to think it’s because of her or that I’m being creepy or something, plus I think it’s clear she doesn’t want to see me as much as I want to see her, which I get.
But I still think about her every day, I never stopped. She’s always in my head, I find myself giving myself therapy-like talk with an imaginary version of her all the time and have to force myself to stop thinking about her. I get excited when I see that she’s watched my Insta story or something. It feels gross and obsessive, I’m still so hung up after all this time. I hate it. I still love her who completely, whit ever single fibre of my being. I love her so much it fucking hurts, it hurts so fucking much. It makes no fucking sense at all but I love her so much I’m angry at her. And I’m angry at me, for being angry at her because I know she doesn’t deserve it and I feel so guilty about it, I’m angry at myself for letting myself fall this deeply in love with someone in the first place. It hurts that’s we’ve grown so distant and that it probably won’t and honestly shouldn’t change. It just hurts to love someone this much, it feels like my heart is filled with broken glass that stabs into me with every beat.
I want to be lobotomised, I want my emotions completely taken away, I don’t want to feel anything anymore. What am I supposed to do when even the good emotions leave me completely fucking destroyed? Everything good turns into pain eventually and I don’t want to feel anything anymore. The good is just not worth the bad anymore.
|
ptsd
|
I'm not in a good place right now. I've recently switched my meds and I've been working really hard on ERP. It's all working, my OCD and anxiety are at an all-time low. But the rest of my life has kind of fallen to the sideline and I've been in denial about it.
I recently quit my somewhat prestigious high-stress job for an easier not so fancy job. And my new job is like freelance work so I can take on as much work as I want. Well, I've taken on nearly no work since starting - I've only done one small project.
I'm also in grad school and I've recently come to terms with the fact that I'm on track to fail my classes this term. I've done almost no school work recently and I'm too far behind to catch up. So I've started evaluating my options with dropping my courses for this term and picking back up when I'm in a better place mentally.
I'm embarrassed. I feel like a failure. And I can't help but think I was better off before I started seeking treatment/help for my OCD. My job and school work require a lot of critical thinking and my brain just isn't working right now.
My spouse (thankfully) has never had to struggle with serious mental health issues. He tries to be supportive and understanding, but sometimes he says some pretty harsh and callous things and it really makes everything worse for me. I feel terrible because I'm not the person he married right now. He begrudgingly agreed that I can/should take some time off right now while I'm trying to get better, but has mentioned twice this week that there was an expectation/plan (prior to my OCD getting severe) that I would work. I just quit my high-stress job less than 2 weeks ago. He's made other comments as well that sting quite a bit. I'm not asking him to pick up the slack financially. We have separate finances and I have a good savings that I don't mind dipping into for the time being to cover my end of the bills, but he thinks this is an irresponsible decision.
I'm ordinarily very career-driven and passionate about what I do for a living. I hold a lot of my value and identity in my job/passion. It hurts that he can't see that I'm hurting so much that I've had to (temporarily) give up what I love more than anything in life and that I've had to put my goals and education on hold while I deal with my issues. My self-esteem and self-worth have already taken a hit from having to step back on my responsibilities and his comments make it worse.
I know he is well-intentioned and doesn't mean to hurt me, he wants to be supportive and helpful. He has always struggled a bit with empathy and feeling for people in bad situations as well as being understanding of people struggling with mental illness.
I guess aside from just venting, I'm wondering if anyone has any advice or recommendations? Any books I can give him for loved ones with OCD or something? I'm going to talk to my therapist next session and see if he can accompany me to a session so she can try to help him better understand what I'm going through.
|
OCD
|
>Background: Elevated prevalences of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and major depression (MD) have been reported in populations exposed to war. However, no global estimates of war survivors suffering from PTSD and/or MD in absolute numbers have been reported.
>
>Objective: We made the first attempt to estimate in absolute numbers how many adult war survivors globally may suffer PTSD and/or MD, which should inform local and global mental health programmes.
>
>Results: We estimate that about 1.45 billion individuals worldwide have experienced war between 1989 and 2015 and were still alive in 2015, including one billion adults. On the basis of our meta-analysis, we estimate that about 354 million adult war survivors suffer from PTSD and/or MD. Of these, about 117 million suffer from comorbid PTSD and MD.
Study: Hoppen, T. H., & Morina, N. (2019). **[The prevalence of PTSD and major depression in the global population of adult war survivors: a meta-analytically informed estimate in absolute numbers.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6394282/)** European Journal of Psychotraumatology, 10(1), 1578637. https://doi.org/10.1080/20008198.2019.1578637
|
ptsd
|
I want to share what happened with me I didn't tell to anyone and cannot tell to anyone I know
|
ptsd
|
I’m a sophomore in college and I told my best friend from hs I have ADHD and she told me she already knew. I never told her this but she said it’s obvious. If it’s that obvious I’m just curious why no one said anything sooner. I wonder why it took me going to a psychologist to talk about my problems to find out I have ADHD. I didn’t even go in knowing anything about it. People always just got upset about my symptoms but they never thought it was because of a mental disorder.
|
ADHD
|
Diagnosis Process & Presentations leads to https://tech.msu.edu/about/guidelines-policies/afs-retirement/
title should be "years" not "year"
I've had "assessments" on two separate occasions, several years apart. The last one was over 7 years ago I think. Bunch of tests administered by a psychologist specialized in "assessments".
Each said that other than a list of anxiety and mood disorders, nothing was wrong with me. I asked to be checked for ADHD explaining my history of struggles with school, work, life. How everyone gets irate with me for being "lazy", "careless errors" (I check everything 2-3x different ways and I can't catch everything). Lots of lectures on not meeting my potential, being lazy, not working hard enough. I actually worked very hard, just didn't get the same results others did. Said how the careless errors went away or were minimal when I drank 1-2 liters of diet coke a day. And how the only way I could complete college was a class or two a semester with lots of caffeine, graduated, with a gpa barely above acceptable. Etc.
I really don't care what the problem is, I just want to know what it is and how to fix it. No one has given me anything workable. I gather it has something to do with executive function, no one I've spoken to can give me a straight answer on I need to do to get that diagnosed and then find help for it.
I'm sick and tired people telling me to get assess for ADHD (again!) or how I keep falling short of expectations and am lazy/not working hard enough/don't care enough etc.
I'm literally in a bad and worsening situation because I literally need help and can't get it. I can't do the caffeine or my old hacks anymore, I can't eat sugar now, I drink the smallest amount of caffeine and I'm in bed for the next day or so. My body seems shot. Without a diagnosis, you're "normal" and just lazy or need more discipline. I literally haven't been able to get anything done or think straight at all the past week. I'm trying, I promise you. But I can't keep letting this get worse.
I just know this post will get deleted and I did something wrong, I really tried to do the right things. I always fuck it up.
I feel like this is more of a vent because I can't find help. I don't expect anything anymore. I just want to solve something that seems impossible.
|
ADHD
|
The other three were fender benders but this is my worst car accident yet. I completely totaled my car this time (other car is okay). This is all within the last four or so years.
I was going 70 in the left lane when the car in front of me suddenly stopped and I couldn’t stop in time. I don’t know if they had reason for their sudden stop but I should’ve left enough space for me to break in time anyways.
I’ve been hysterically crying for the last half hour while the police officer tried to get my information. I don’t normally take my adhd medication on my leisurely days and I was headed home after a weekend of hiking.
This ADHD is a disease. I hate it so much. I’m costing my family and myself so much money by creating these avoidable fuck ups. I’m also endangering peoples lives just for being alive and behind the wheel. I’m really sick of being alive like this. I hate myself so much I can’t even describe it.
If someone could just validate my feelings, or share their experiences of being a complete fuck up with this disease, I’d really appreciate it.
|
ADHD
|
This is sort of a follow up to a post from a week or so again.
I recently resigned from my job of 7.5 years due to having too many symptoms related to the ptsd that occurred from performing my position. My symptoms began back in 2015.
Because I’m honest I explained at my first interview why I had resigned. I even explained what some of my self care practices now look like now. I got the job. It’s nothing too great, but it will be fine till I finish my certificate this summer.
I also had an interview for a better job where I had disclosed that I had a disability on the application. They really seem to like me, but I’ve been waiting on their HR for almost a week to give me an orientation date, so I guess it was fake love. It’s all good though.
Thanks for listening fam. Hold your heads. Expect nothing, appreciate everything, and keep moving forward. ❤️
|
ptsd
|
I’m looking for something that looks less institutional, and more like a regular lamp/floor lamp. I’ve got other factors going on in my brain, and i know that if i don’t like how the light looks, i just won’t use it. Or when i do use it, ill focus on how ugly it is. This isn’t speculation. I’ve owned a couple in the past. Any leads would be appreciated!
|
depression
|
Hey, this is my first post here.
For context, I have 3 sisters, all of whom are older than me. I'll start from the beginning. This is going to be a long post because I need to fit as much necessary details in order to paint the full picture of why I think.my sisters are either in denial or trying to avoid the point. Gonna flair it witn NSFW since it mentions child abuse.
---
I was born in a small town in Ontario, with my mother, father, and three sisters in one big home. My father seemed genuinely happy, my mother was a kind woman. My father built a jungle gym sort of thing in the backyard with slides and stuff for me and my sisters. Its was a pleasent little house in a quiet little town. My dad had his own company, I don't remember where my mom worked. My sisters were all older hut one was only older by a year, so we typically went to the same sort of school.
When I was about 8 years old, my family made a big move, from a small Ontario town to the big city of Calgary, in Alberta 3 provinces away. I was sad to leave my friends behind but the sights and the journey made it all worth it. Even being just 8, I have vivid memories of the massive summer thunderstorms in the prairies, the mirror-like vast lakes on the journey through Manitoba, and the majestic snow-covered peaks of the mountains in Alberta. It was like I travelled the whole world. My previous apprehensions were gone, I was ready for a fresh start.
We moved into a big house in a cul-de-sac. I made friends with a neighbour kid and was back to being a carefree child. I spent most of my time either in my room playing with toys _(Magnetix were the bomb)_ or hanging out with my friend. Our house had a big basement and a huge backyard, I could always keep myself distracted. School life was alright, I lost a tooth on a pickle, fell in a deep hole, broke my nose on one of the poles between the sets of entrance doors, a good time.
Mom was very busy working as an accountant(?) for some jewlery company. My dad was generally just home making phone calls or watching TV. I didn't really notice much though, since as a kid, you typically don't care about that sort of thing. Two of sisters were in highschool so I typically didn't see much of them. The sister who was around the same grade as me didn't talk to me much at school, but again, I didn't really notice her either.
I had some trouble making friends at school, since as a kid I had some anger issues and was anti-social. I met a small group though, and we had a great time together. We were troublemakers at times but we were mostly just silly and minded our own business, playing games like 'The Floor is Lava' at the playground. My grades weren't amazing but I hardly cared about that.
And then, when I was around 12 we moved again.
A bigger house in a richer part of the city. This was before the internet was readily accessible, I lost contact with my new friends, and this time there was no big, distracting journey to take my worries this time. I was already socially awkward, I didn't really plan on meeting friends this time around, so I'm not quite sure how I did. Looking back I was pretty weird, so its amazing I made any friends at all. I met three kids at school & one in my neighbourhood.
My grades continued to suffer but I still didn't care about that, I would preoccupy my time thinking of the next recess or break to hang out with my friends again. We made up our own sort of trading card game, which we would play both during breaks & sometimes during class. I was more aware as a person by this point, I comprehended my grades failing but I didn't care. Eventually my eldest sister moved out, we said our goodbyes and wished her good luck. It was very sudden - She just decided to leave out of the blue.
With that increased awareness in mind, I slowly began to comprehend the cracks forming in my parent's relationship. My dad still was unable to find work, and was paying for stuff using his steadily dwindling savings account from when he owned his business. My mother still had her job though, with a steady income. I spent a lot of time on my computer, playing games and ignoring the situation, however I was aware of it to a degree.
Every now and then, my father would take trips out of town, I remember for a solid week it was just me, my sisters & our mom. She was behaving strangely, unusually calm and friendly.
_"So is it true your dad does heroin?"_
Those were the words from my neighbourhood friend's brother. I had no idea what he meant. This was the first I'd heard about it. I looked at him confused but he insisted on it. I told him I had no idea what they meant and went back home, I didn't say anything, I just quietly went to my room. A few days later I get the news that my parents are getting divorced. Now, I knew they were fighting, but the idea hadn't even crossed my mind that they'd divorce.
Apparently my mom had been cheating on my dad for a while, she was spreading rumours about him including the one saying he did illegal drugs. The business trips he was taking were due to some legal stuff, he ended up stranded in Toronto for a while and had to live on the street since his savings were drained. I was pretty upset. Me and my siblings sided with our father. The court ended up giving our mother control of our house, and gave our father the car. We had to leave our pets behind, who we learned she later went on to give away on Kijiji.
My father, sisters & myself ended up staying at a homeless shelter for pretty much my entire summer vacation until we finally found a place we could afford. This time around I didn't have to change schools, so at least I had my old friends to keep me distracted.
I was older now and was even more aware of my surrounding situation. My father & second eldest sister were at each other's throats constantly. She eventually moved out, too. It was just me and my youngest sister now. We still didn't talk much, however, when my father would leave, me and her would often have conversations. She was far closer to my father than I was _(By this point I had distanced myself from pretty much my entire family)_ so she knew much more about the situation than I did. Apparently my kother was very physically and verbally abusive towards my eldest sister & my father. Ky eldest sister left so abruptly due to urgency rather than her own interests. It was then I also learned my mother had mostly been the one facilitating the various moves at my father's expense.
Around 15 years old, my remaining family moved back to my hometown. My dad had started working as a backgroung extra for T.V. shows and stuff like Heartland, and he thought there may be more acting opportunities back around Toronto. I said goodbye to my friends and completely gave up on trying to make friends with anyone. In fact, I didn't even want to make friends - my school basically pushed me into a friend group and told me to socialize. I only really made friemds with a couple of them, everyone else was more of an aquaintance.
I basically stopped caring about grades. I was tired of bouncing between schools and was confident it would happen again. I made fair grades in sone classes like computer programming but I just focused on getting passing grades so I wouldn't have to do a victory lap. Tensions between me and my father were evidently rising.
My sister and I continued talking. I wouldn't say much aside from how I felt, she would tell me stuff about the situation that I did not know. We had a big conversation and a lot of information was spilled regarding my father. He had some motivation to move back to my hometown due to acting potential, but his main point was to try and get his back fixed. Around 10 years before I was even born, he was in a car accident which hurt his back, ruining his ability to work as effectively as before. As it turns out he's been scouring the country for a cure. When I said my mother was mostly facilitating the moves, my father was not without intent. Furthermore, the miracle cure for his back he is seeking is nothing but a pipe dream. According to my sister, she'd seen one of his medical files which essentially said he was severely depressed, but was motivated purely based off a ficticious treatment that would fix his damaged spine & give his career back. He dragged me and my sisters back and forth through the country chasing nothing more than a fairytale.
My sister also told me the reasoning as to why my second eldest sister left.
After we had moved into the house after the homeless shelter, he became increasingly suspicious about her. My father believed my second eldest sister was sleeping around. He would get on her case whenever a boy would come over, he even went so far as to take her to a clinic to get her tested for pregnancy and stuff. He would yell at her, accuse her of things she didn't do, and treat her like trash, so she left.
My youngest sister also explained that she is too.afraid for our father's well-being to leave, since he's forgetful about stuff like groceries and medication, she was worried he might overdose by accident if she leaves, and felt as if it would be her fault.
Fast forward a little bit, and I ended up in the same boat. Tensions reached their breaking point and I left, too.
Now that you know the basics of the events that happened, lets get into why I think my sisters are sufferimg from a traumatic childhood but are trying to hide it.
When I initially moved out - that is, I told one of my best friends I was reaching my limit - her & her family offered to take me in. Since I was 16 at the time, I was allowed to make that decision, to an extent. A few days later, my youngest and second eldest sister attempted to make contact with me on Facebook. My youngest was wondering what happened and where I went. I ignored her for the first few days. I reached out to my second eldest, and I regret it.
She initally acted sympathetic, saying how she understood why I left. She offered to buy me a plane ticket to fly back out to Alberta to live with her. When I told her I planned on staying with my friend, her demeanor turned cold and unforgiving. She said my situation wasn't that bad, while simultaneously calling me selfish for leaving my youngest sister behind in that situation. I retorted withbthe fact that she left us behinf she said it was different because she left both of us behind together, while I left my sister alone.
A few years later me and my friend had our own apartment together. We were close friends but we had fights sometimes, as everyone does. On one particular occasion my mind broke. After a fight was over and everything was seemingly settling down, I told her I was going someplace with a friend. I did go someplace with a friend. The event I went to ended at 8 PM. For the next seven hours, I walked in one random direction out of town down the side of the highway over 26 kilometres away. Stuff happened, I ended up at the hospital psych ward, I was questioned about stuff so they could figure out what happened. They indicated a lot of factors as to why my mental state was so disturbed including a traumatic childhood.
While I was "missing" - my roommate had no idea where I was for 7+ hours and was worried - my sisters & dad caught wind and immediately started pinning the blame on my friend & her family. My friend's family disputed it & mentioned my father's behaviour but my sisters stepped in and denied everything.
It feels to me like they have problems aswell that aren't being addressed. We all grew up in the same unhealthy environment yet they deny the fact that anything was wrong.
|
ptsd
|
He started pre-k at the elementary. So far he has struggled during circle time. He is one of two kids who can’t sit still or stop making noises. The teacher has put tape in the shape of a square in the back of circle time so he can freely move if needed. He is also making high pitched sirens noises & truck noises where other kids are covering their ears so I have been trying to tell him he can make these noises outside. we have to use inside voices.
I have him in therapy and he has an OT appt Wednesday to see if he needs that.
He is often hyper and I take him to the park and he still has extra energy.
I did read trauma can cause residing in the brain and cause adhd but it can also be genetic? I am scared I have effed up my kid. His dad and i have yelled in front of him and i have yelled at him from being frustrated. Parenting is so hard. I had trauma as a child and i also had adhd/add. I hate that he is singled out in school and I want him to succeed.
tl;dr I am scared I traumatized my kid into adhd & he won’t succeed
|
ADHD
|
So i just watched a youtube video explaining how you could die from emotional trauma (although i think it is pretty rare)
And now i’m just sad because i wish i could just die rather than live while suffering emotionally every day.
|
depression
|
I’m so tired, but yet I can’t fall asleep because I’m too scared of the nightmares. I was recently put on Prazosin for them, but I guess it’s taking awhile to work :/ I just wanna get real, proper sleep dude. It’s starting to really wear on me
|
ptsd
|
So I was abused a lot as a kid growing up in Pakistan. Got bullied at school, got beaten by parents and general frustration up the wazoo from my formative years have made me somewhat of an introvert. That's not so bad. I got hobbies that keep me occupied and I might start socializing with people if or when I start feeling lonely.
What's really a problem is that when I try concentrating on anything (like reading) my mind meanders to those shitty years of my life when I was always sad and angry. My behavior goes spastic as I'm teleported back into those situations where I'm angry at myself and the people around me. There are these jolts in my brain, my face contorts and I'm hurling insults into the ether. After some time I come to my senses and I recount the episode and ask myself 'What the hell am I even doing right now?'
It's been happening for years now, and I don't even know where to begin with this problem of mine. Can I get any suggestions that aren't just go see a shrink?
|
ptsd
|
Is it common to have ptsd from a general time period where you experienced abuse even if each event on it's own may not seem particularly distressing?
I don't have a diagnosis yet but from what I have read, I have many symptoms of ptsd yet the part that seems to be lacking is the direct connection with specific events. For example, I get lots of nightmares, almost every night and often wake up several times a night, but I don't get nightmares super specific to what I lived. And I often feel vulnerable and and break down thinking of small events but it's not so much thinking of one small event but rather that thinking of one event subconsciously makes me thing of all the other big and small distressing events I lived in that time period.
I don't know a whole ton about this so discussion on the topic is helpful/interesting
|
ptsd
|
I have a new therapist, and she mentioned that I might/probably have OCD. I've been in therapy on and off for years and am on an SSRI, but always thought it was anxiety/depression. I don't have any obsession with cleanliness or order, but have struggled with intrusive thoughts since I was a teen, anything from getting a song stuck in my head and fearing it would never go away to being convinced I had HIV despite no risk factors, to now, constant doubting that I'm not living up. That I bought the wrong house, that I'm not making the most of my life, that others are doing better than me. I also have a history with taboo thoughts. For instance, I watched a movie with incest in it and then became obsessed that I may have been molested by my dad and fearful/obsessive about having incestuous thoughts.
Anyway, to my question. My therapist really threw me by mentioning ERP and saying it was a different treatment than what would happen with anxiety. She said that she is not trained in ERP and mentioned that other therapists were. She sent me a link to [nocd.com](https://nocd.com/), which is all online, video therapy. I know all therapy is that way now, but I do like having a local therapist. It feels more personal somehow.
I'm feeling very overwhelmed. I feel like I finally have a therapist who is listening and getting to the heart of some things, and now she's telling me to switch therapists. She said it was ultimately my choice, but I could tell she thought it would be wise to see a specialist.
So my question is--is this really worth it? I like having just a regular therapist to talk through stuff with, and starting a specific treatment feels very foreign to me, especially since I've been in therapy for so long and OCD was never on the table. I also feel my OCD isn't bad enough to warrant that, but that also might be because until this week, all I really knew of OCD was misconceptions.
Thank you so much in advance!
|
OCD
|
I have recently stopping the sessions with my therapist where i was being treated for ROCD and harm OCD since march for a variety of reasons(first and foremost beacuse i had to work 2 days to pay for one hour of therapy per week) and these recent months i have been mostly ok, but since today that i stopped i have an overwhelming feeling of anxiety. Is this normal or sth to worry about?
|
OCD
|
it's not like i really even want one anymore. i don't wanna get better and have to deal with college and getting a job and being financially/socially stable for ~50 years until i die of old age. i don't even wanna live to be 21 at this point, im just keeping myself around out of obligation. there's people that care about me, i know there are, i just don't wanna kill myself and upset my friends and partners. i don't wanna have a death toll assigned to me if the people close to me also kill themselves. but it's so hard not to when i can't be bothered to do much besides lay in bed and cut and sometimes shower and eat
i just can't be bothered to do anything anymore. hanging out with people is a chore at this point. it's sometimes a hassle to put on my records even though ive been passionately collecting for over two years. it's a pain to take my meds even though it barely even takes three minutes. i have such a low tolerance for doing things at this point and i lose all interest if im not immediately benefitted, and i can't tell if that's adhd or some offshoot of selfishness or something else wrong with me
i don't even have a good reason to feel like this. my parents aren't that abusive. my friends care about me and my partners are loving. i hear a lot of fights between my parents but they never get that bad. i have basically everything i want minus a few material objects and physically distant online friends. i just feel guilty and selfish for cutting myself and feeling terrible all the time when my life is so plainly clean. im just a hassle and a burden for my parents, i know they wanted better but i can barely get out of bed sometimes and i don't have a reason to try in school. i don't even do ANYTHING in school now. just what's the point of doing anything when im half-planning on dying before i leave twelfth grade
i don't even know why i vent like this. it doesn't make me feel better. do i just do it to pass time? it's not like im running low on things to complain about. i know it's bad to spew so much personal shit publicly but i still can't find a reason to care
my self hatred is getting worse and worse and i don't know how to even slow it down. my ed is getting worse even though i feel like im almost faking it with how often i eat "normally" and just stress about calorie counts and beat myself up over them. i just wish i knew what it was like to not have one. ive had it all my life and it's one of the only constants i have. im lucky that it's pretty minor at least. i know i would be able to starve myself if i lived alone but i can't waste food here at my parents' or else ill just feel guilty some more. i hate the scars on my legs from cutting but i still wanna cut deeper. i hate how loud i am with people im comfortable with. i hate how i look half the time. i hate how low energy and depressed i am around people. it feels like people are constantly worrying about me, it feels like they're constantly disappointed that im still in a rut and don't have enough energy to hold a conversation. i hate how easily i get upset from every little thing. my dad's voice and overthinking about my own thoughts and overthinking about meaningless texts and feeling like a disappointment for my parents all set me off so bad now
i don't even know what's wrong with me anymore. i don't hallucinate enough to be sure if im schizophrenic or not. im pretty certain i have psychosis. it's clear i have depression. im almost certain i have adhd. i might have rsd. but most of these are just so unsure now and i feel like an annoyance asking my parents for a diagnosis
my suicidal thoughts just keep getting worse and worse. half my classes now just consist of me spacing off and thinking about easy ways i could finally kill myself. i know i have people to live for but i can't see a future for me and i always feel like i should just jump in front of a train before my life goes really downhill
im just so tired ive felt so empty and nothing all day and im just getting more and more stressed out about shit that shouldn't matter to me. i feel like it's bad to vent so much so publicly but i just need to ramble. if you read all of this then ily
|
depression
|
I take 15 mg adderall XR in mornings and 10mg IR in afternoon. I don’t typically take on weekends. (22F)
I notice it helps me a lot especially the IR. I can get a lot done and keep my room clean for the first time in my life.
However, we it wears off I get extremely depressed and anxious. I get this drop around the same time twice a day. I feel awful and like everyone hates me and I’m stupid. I try to cope with the drop by going to the gym or treating myself to Starbucks when I know the drop is approaching. I still get the drop. Does anyone else experience this? How did you cope?
|
ADHD
|
Hi All -
I don't know if this is helpful for anyone, but I had a realization regarding my OCD after my last therapy session. I've realized that I worry about worrying a LOT - often times, my OCD puts me in a state of "Don't worry/think about 'x' otherwise, you'll be miserable! The only way you'll get out of that misery is doing the compulsion!" I then realized that I'm not actually worried NEARLY as much about the actual compulsion, I'm worried about the unpleasant anxiety that comes from it. I realized that the bad anxiety is the disease in of itself, whereas the compulsion is the "cure." I need to address the disease head-on. I don't know if that makes sense, but it made me realize that I don't really worry as much about my compulsions as I do with just feeling anxious in general.
|
OCD
|
So recently I have been just wondering if im making it up for attention and I wanna know if thats normal.
|
ptsd
|
I’ll keep having to reassure myself that the actions are totally wrong, I’ll even research the moral implications of the actions to further reinforce that I wouldn’t do it.
Does this sound like an OCD thing?
|
OCD
|
I’ve never been officially diagnosed with OCD, but the symptoms and problems I’ve been facing over the years have been slowly progressing. It started with simple things like checking to make sure my doors are locked, but it’s slowly manifested into so much more than that. I still check my doors, but now I do it all the time, especially at night. I can’t go to bed comfortably unless I go and check to make sure my front and back doors are locked at least a few times. Some of the other things I do are pretty small, like making sure the fridge is closed and straightening up objects around the house like pairs of shoes. There are also certain items for me that have to be in a specific place all the time when nobody else is using them. For example, I always like to make sure that the remote to my FireStick is facing up on one of the arms of the couch at all times. If it’s not, it gives me an uncomfortable feeling that I can’t really describe. Like I said, this goes for many other items in my house. Another example would be my Xbox controller. Whenever I get done playing, I make sure that it’s on this one specific spot on this one specific shelf in my room. If I noticed someone has moved it, I have to put it back or else I feel incredibly uneasy, and I can’t do anything else or move on until I move it to its rightful spot. Another thing I have on a day-to-day basis includes intrusive thoughts. At random times in the day, my brain will say “Go check the front door’s lock or you’re going to die” and other things of that nature. I also have an obsession with counting/numbers in general. My brain always makes me do things like count my steps, add up random numbers I see when I’m out and about, etc. There are way more things I do and think that I’m not mentioning, but my biggest issue is my hypochondria. I’ve pretty much been like this throughout my life, but it has been getting absolutely debilitating. Deep down inside I know there’s probably nothing wrong with me, yet my brain tells me I have all of these terrible diseases just because I have minor symptoms that probably mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. I have headaches sometimes, and my brain will tell me that I have a brain tumor. I accidentally bump my head on something and feel fine, but my brain will tell me that I have a concussion and need to be rushed to the hospital. I’ve gone to the doctor and have gotten blood work done to see if anything was wrong and everything came back normal, yet my brain is still telling me something is horribly wrong. I’m a 16 year old male with 3 siblings. I don’t have the best relationship with my parents (specifically my father) and it’s hard to express my feelings to anyone in my family because they usually tell me it’s nothing or make fun of me/get mad. Along with my OCD symptoms, I just generally have really high anxiety and it‘s hard for me to socialize with other people. I made this post because I needed to vent and I felt like finding people going through a similar situation as me would help to cope. I have no idea how to deal with any of this, so if anyone has any suggestions please let me know.
|
OCD
|
I’ve gotta get through the day. I just want to leave or isolate and be alone. I feel like I’m on the burst of tears, I just let it out in the bathroom.
What do you do on days like these?
|
ptsd
|
My doctor said based on a test and my description of my problem I probably have ADD. I was prescribed Adderall and basically we are going to see how it goes. Suffice to say it has greatly improved my life. I feel like a debilitating issue that made it very hard to function in modern life has been fixed. My mother said she would never describe myself as a typical person with ADD. Nonetheless she's supportive of my decisions to start taking stimulant medication.
I describe my ADD as this. I'm trying to focus on something but my brain won't let me. I'll be trying to read a book, study for a test, work on a project but my brain just can't do it. I KNOW subconsciously that I should be doing this but my brain is bouncing between other thoughts or being distracted by minor things around me: a visual notification, a sound in the street, a wallpaper or song changing. Or maybe my mind is distracted by something that happened earlier today, a conversation, interaction, or argument I had, something else I have to do today, etc. Basically I can't force myself to focus on something I want to or need to.
I watched 'Take Your Pills' on Netflix and one of the points it brings up is this. It's getting harder and harder to distinguish people actually born with ADD/ADHD, or people who's attention span has been ruined by modern society. We live in a "one minute society" is a way of phrasing it. Our attention spans have been bombed.
So basically I'm scared whether my ADD my doctor diagnosed is real, or simply I mimic the symptoms of inattentiveness because our society has ruined our attention spans. Regardless of who you give stimulant medications to, its going to improve their productivity. Is my description of ADD similar to anyone else's? Am I just a victim of this short attention span epidemic, if so is it ok to take stimulants regardless? They have really improved my life, I feel like a debilitating issue has been fixed.
|
ADHD
|
It's been 2 years now since my ocd came out but until now i don't know how to manage it.. Everywhere i'll go i have intrusive thoughts that i drop something important like my , cellphone, money, etc.. I try to check my stuff before going outside to make sure that i will not drop something but i keep popping on my head and now i'm scared to go outside .. I keep analyzing and ruminating my intrusive thoughts ... I feel that my ocd is worse right now and all I want to do is to sleep all day.. I try to read some article about CBT AND ERP and try to do it but i doesn't help me at all.. Any tips how to cope or manage your ocd ?? sorry for my bad english
|
OCD
|
Oh great, back to this fucking site for mental health advice.
I have had the urge to remove myself from everyone else and leave for years. I am a student so this only extends to people within the school ground but thats all I have really. Its a combination of
1. i dont want to hurt people because i can get agressive. I can get really short and snappy when i go through episodes
2. i dont want to bore people or be a downer in any situation, because i find myself struggling with social situations and how to react, i tend to go overboard and do something stupid
3. people can get so irritating all of the time. Even those i love the most i just want to stick one in everyone all of the time. They have done nothing wrong btw
4. i feel like i am bringing down the mood all of the time bc everytime i am around people, my depression and anxiety becomes more salient
5. no one really likes me, im just there for pitty. thus why dont i remove myself now and save the trouble?
Everything is too much right now. I stupidly got school captian, have decent grades, a partner who i feel like i am a complete burden to despite the fact he is so fucking nice to me. Oh and probably trans, thats fun.
I know that this is my depression talking, and know that its 'not true', but wtf do i do about it?
|
depression
|
I'm 17, and i was having a great day at work today. my manger said im "crazy quick" at working the carts to the shelves and that he's gonna make me do that more often. i made a ton today on my investments, i was just happy, so happy i stayed another hour after cuz why not?
well all took a turn when some old lady needed my help.
she had one of those ink clips they put on stuff to protect it from theft. the clip was on a reusable bag. with crazy hot weather people are buying ice faster then we can stock it. she wanted to put ice in the bag, but she hadn't paid for it so she couldn't fit anything in there. she got angry when i told her she has to buy it and got mad that i "couldn't just take it off". when i tried unzipping around the tag she told me "don't you're gonna wreck the bag" and kept repeating that and started to get angry. at this point i was standing kind of behind her scooter thinking about what the options would be while she's saying "don't you're gonna wreck the bag" 10,000 times each time more angry than the last. at this point i'm getting nervous she's gonna cause a scene so i ask her if she wants me to just go get her a paper bag. she's all "do you reaaallly think that's gonna work for me?" then she stared at me for a few seconds, she huffed and goes "you know what, i'm just gonna leave!" thank god.
then she proceeded to try and blast off in her little scooter and she loses her loaf of bread. so i picked it up and handed it to her and she just snarled at me and left.
i don't know why that bothers me so much, i really hope nobody saw. i just don't understand what has to happen to you to make you get so angry about something so insignificant.
|
aspergers
|
This is my alt account for obvious reasons. And i would post over at stopdrinking but i was with them for 7 years and i know word for word what the response is. I don’t disagree.
I just need to tell someone what happened because i have to keep my head together overnight and realise im in my ptsd dissociate land.
I was taught that i need to tell someone what’s happening. If you are safe and able to listen i would appreciate a conversation. Thank you.
|
ptsd
|
I can't stop drinking. I have horrible dreams, sometimes related to trauma, but often times just really really terrible and dark and gory. I get sleep paralysis and sometimes lay awake with all my lights on until the sun comes up so I can finally sleep. I've ruined my closest relationships because of it. I don't trust myself to become close to people anymore because I am ashamed when they see me having PTSD attacks. I lash out and am angry and mean. I'm only 28. I can't even use my degree because my triggers are in the field. It feels like everything I do is to avoid remembering. I've been in therapy for so long and it isn't helping. I don't know what to do.
|
ptsd
|
I feel homesick but I never left home. My chest physically hurts because the only one I have left is me. I already did therapy, but it feels pointless.
|
depression
|
She always complains to me about health issues and instead of going to the doctor she acts like I’m supposed to find a treatment. My life is already miserable.
|
depression
|
So I've been kind of using my own little CBT ladder and I'm struggling with this last one. It's not necessarily touching the object but it's the act of getting rid of it/not avoiding going near it anymore. I'm not sure how to handle it. I know this sounds like a sneaky compulsion but I honestly think it's still a big step because I've not been near this thing in ages . I'm going to use gloves and a bin bag.
To cut a story short, I am struggling to decifer whether this is an ocd thought or a legitimate reason to find the object "gross" or "dirty". The object is a bracelet and I was using a public toilet when I was wearing it. I squatted to pee (I'm a female) and the toilet looked very clean. Anyway, at one point I panicked because the band of my trousers briefly tocuhed the toilet stand. Not sure if this is my ocd or a normal reaction but I checked the stand where they touched. The big round bit at the front that kind of holds the bowl. There was a little spot there of something or maybe 2 it's difficult to remember but tiny specks of dark brown / black / just dark spots. Bear in mind the rest of the toilet and everything else was very clean, otherwise i wouldn't have used it and actually if I hadn't have inspected the front I wouldn't have even know it was there. It was about the side of a poppy seed. My brother and mum both said they wouldn't have thought much of it. I'm still sort of struggling to decipher whether this is an ocd thought. Anyway, I am worried that "what if the bracelet tocuhed the speck and it was someone else's feces speck?" (As in while I was hovering and pulling the band of my trousers at the back away from the seat until I let go and the trousers briefly tocuhed the outer bowl, the dangling bracelet might have too?) I can't remember whether I threw away or washed the trousers but likely thew them. I know rationally because the rest of the toilet was clean and because it was at the FRONT of the bowl, (picture for reference) it could have been dirt or a dead fly, or mould, or anything else? But I still feel so disgusting about going near that bracelet that's in a box in my shed. So I plan to throw it away. But I'm still not sure whether this is rational and I don't want a setback but at the same time I don't want to touch anything that could be unhygienic? I'm not scared of being sick but rhe disgust factor causes me to panic big time. The incident with the public toilet happened around 6 months ago. I mean even disposing of it with gloves is an exposure for me as like I said its been sitting in the box with other things in it which I've avoided. (I intend to clean the rest of the contents and the box after I dispose of the bracelet)
Any advice would be so so much appreciated
How do I handle this one as a rational thinking person?
|
OCD
|
title says it. meds worked for me- helped stop the intrusive thoughts. I cut back after about 6 months and the annoying thoughts come back…. Makes me feel stupid or something for not being able to get rid of them by myself. Now every time I try to reach out for help, the people I reach out to point out I cut back on my meds. Like I want to be able to solve my problems without meds… just makes me feel like they view me as somebody unstable & stupid without meds :( idk if anyone else can relate
|
OCD
|
I am facing finals and everything is terrible for me. I am seriously burn out and tired as hell but can’t rest as I have to study for finals in order to get a good grade.
As you guys definitely know, when shit happens , they come in a row.
My secondary school or you may consider as high schoolmate are hosting an activity and they didn’t invite , tag nor mention me at all in the group chat. Feeling completely excluded as always.
sometimes when I go out with them, no one cares about me or how I am dressed how much I prepared, just no one notices.
I can’t find anyone to comfort me
No friends or anyone trustworthy enough to take my neutron-star heavy mental burden. I afraid they would leave , consider me weird and others. I had a teacher that understood my trouble and mental difficulties I set for myself.
I cant even find any good mate in college either.
I am also finding it difficult to trust in hard work.
I had attended something similar to A level exam in England and worked a year and a half for it . However, the result are shit to me but no one can understand me as they all thought the grade was ‘good enough’. People who worked later easily got a better score. There's a saying called 'Tried best so no regret' in my country and when people yelled , I just cant. And with this experience, I am seriously afraid this happening again and fail my exams.
I am studying hard but I dont trust myself.
Not to mention I get joked at that I study very hard while my schoolmate is having fun and participating in every activity and studying even harder than people trying to retake the fore-mentioned A level similar exam. When someone cant join the activity, people in the group chat felt sorry for him but no one cared about me.
Studying in this college is the only way possible for me as I am certain I am a piece of trash that arent special at all but the more I spend time on it the more I felt like shit. I will never be good or close to people studying this course and the course I am having rn is the most easy already.
I dont even know what to do, I dont even want to eat chocolate or do anything and if I dont do anything I stress out over my inactivity on studying for finals
I feel like my depression is like not enough or something. like if I actually get diagnosed depression at least I might get some attention or prescription drugs to treat it. I know it maybe offensive but thats how ignored I am, no one cares about me.
I know I am not gonna kill myself. My family will be sad and I dont wanna be more of a burden to them. I doubt any of my 'friends' would care tho. Moreover, there are bullies that are complete human waste and scumbag even alive. but I am barely functional at all and broken.
TL:DR I am terrible and I have failed every aspect possible friendship and relationship in every stage, academic, sports, my face and my body. Am I born to suffer.
|
depression
|
[deleted]
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/ohv6pg)
|
OCD
|
I mostly lurk here because I'm afraid I might actually have ADHD but I am hoping it is not the case and I do not want to self diagnose either.
Earlier today, as we entered the Garage, I saw a pipe sticking out of my neighbor's firewall and wondered what would happen if we had to place ours. Would they need to move their pipe? Etc. Completely forgetting that I had to close the garage gate so that our dog wouldn't escape. My husband had to call my attention and I was just staring at him wondering why until he told me about the gate. I couldn't help but worry how that completely slipped my mind when closing the gate behind us is what I do everyday.
This makes me feel anxious because I'm usually focused or Id like to think that I am. Is this just misplaced anxiety or Do I need help?
|
ADHD
|
When depression gets really bad, it gets particularly physical, embodied. I don’t just mean tired, heavy arms and legs. I mean this sensation, a foreign object that feels like a ballon has suddenly installed itself under your rib cage, the pit of your stomach, and it’s full of a kind of sand esa that it light, like air, but takes up space and leaves you short of breath sometimes and you just want it to go away…
|
depression
|
I have planned in my calender a routine for showers, changing sheets and more. I have also bedtime notifications and an alarm clock for waking up. But I can't stick to all these things. I am always staying up late, because I want to still do things like watching series, and then the next morning I'm too tired to get immediately out of bed when the alarm clock rings. I also put the alarm clock one hour further.
Then when it says showering, changing sheets, or cutting nails. I often don't want to do it because there is always something or I don't have enough energy.
I just don't have the discipline to stick to the routine, even though I know it is needed.
I wish I could live without having to go to school and later to work, but I can't, because not a rich millionaire, unfortunately. Therefore I have to be able to stick to such a routine to maximize my energy.
Any help to make it easier?
|
aspergers
|
Does music help you relax and calm down your thoughts or a certain artist for me it's Juice WRLD just curious if it's a kind of therapy for other people?
|
OCD
|
I wanna say right off the bat that I’m pretty sure they’re only available in America. My uncle is a pilot for SAS, so he regularly buys American things for me, that’s how I got it. Don’t trust the international sellers on Amazon.
It was a birthday gift, and the art style is right up my alley. Cute and colourful and bright. I’ve been so mentally and emotionally exhausted this week and easily spent 3 hours a day after work doing the puzzle. This was also at a point where my meds had worn off, so I could use the vivid imagination ON the puzzle, rather than slipping away from reality. There’s so much going on, that my brain was constantly stimulated! In fact, there’s even a little checkmark list like “a cat inside a bubble.” I even got emotionally invested in the story.
Without spoiling anything, the original puzzle comes in one secret envelope, and then there’s another envelope that says “don’t open until you’ve finished the puzzle!” It was pretty cool, I hadn’t predicted how it would all come together at all.
I got the second edition (out of 3) of the mystery puzzles by the magic puzzle company. I just wanted to share in case anyone was looking for some entertainment for a small week!
And there was a little golden completion sticker as well hidden once you finished the puzzle :) ✨it’s like a reward✨if you get the reference
Pretty vague, but I’m the type of person who’ll jump into a book without knowing anything other than the genre. I don’t want to know ANYTHING and idk if it’s ADHD related.
|
ADHD
|
I was diagnosed in 4th grade, took Ritalin from 4th to 11th grade, and took Vyvanse from 11th grade to my first semester in college. I haven't taken anything for a year, and my life is kinda sucking as a result. I can't remember to make appointments, get my car fixed, clean my room, etc.
My mom has been getting on me, saying I should start taking my medication again. But i hate how I feel when I take it. I dont have any appetite, and if I try to eat it's like I'm force feeding myself, which makes me want to throw up. And I feel like a weird robot when I take it. I hate it, but my personal and professional lives are suffering. Does anyone have any advice that doesn't involve medication? Medication is my last resort right now. Thank you in advance!
|
ADHD
|
I hate OCD. I wish my brain worked like a normal person’s. I’ve gotten through HOCD and ROCD but somatic OCD/health anxiety is a fucking nightmare. I’ve had it for 2 months now and it’s so incredibly exhausting, I hate not being able to get excited for my vacation with my bf in a few weeks because I’m just so scared I have some illness. I’ve been fixated on a specific brain tumor for a while now and one of the symptoms is a lazy eye and I can’t stop taking fucking pictures of my eyes to see if they look weird. 95% of my camera roll is photos of my eyes. And I feel like my left eye is starting to look weird and it’s really freaking me out, I’ve been having so many panic attacks over this. I literally can’t give it a rest, I’ll take pic after pic of my eyes and if they look normal I feel relieved but then 20 minutes later I’m back to taking pics of them. I’m so scared of this tumor I’m so terrified and I know it’s incredibly unlikely for me to have it but my OCD has really latched onto it. I’m scared to even sleep because I’m so scared I’ll wake up with new symptoms.
|
OCD
|
I don’t know if I need advice or someone to tell me that they felt like this once but don’t anymore.
I keep finding myself shutting down anybody that tries to pursue me romantically. It’s not that I don’t want to love or to be loved, I really would like to call someone my girlfriend, would love to take her on dates and learn how to talk to each other, hold hands and have sex and all the big perks of not being alone.
Every time a girl starts to get close, I’m just hit with the realisation that no woman in her right mind would want to be with me if she knew what my bad days look like. The endless nights of tossing and turning, being so exhausted that trying to be positive feels like a desperate lie. The days where I ignore every text message I receive and the times the flashbacks make me need to go numb to survive. My friends are great and don’t seem to mind too much that sometimes I just need to vanish for a while before I’m ready to be a person again, but how can I invite someone into this whirwind of a lifestyle where sometimes all I can do is shake my head to clear the bad memories and brutalise a punching bag until I’m tired enough to sleep? I can’t tell potential girlfriends beforehand without seeming overly intense, but I also don’t want to watch as my misery bleeds into someone else’s life.
When things are going well, I tell myself I’m cured and ready to commit to someone. Then it’s date 5 and my head is too foggy to speak in full sentences and I realise that I won’t be very fun to hang around for a few weeks, that I don’t have anything to offer, and that I don’t want to treat another human’s emotions as if they aren’t worth putting effort into. I should just stay alone until I’m stable.
I’m 20 and I’ve never been in love because I’ve never found that stability. I’m worried that it won’t ever get here and that I’ll regret my reticence if I don’t give love a chance. I just don’t know how to sell anyone on the idea of me without lying about who I am.
I’m sure this reads as dramatic but I’ve seen the pain on my loved one’s faces when they’ve had to watch me break down. Isolating myself is the only option that prevents me from seeing that again. I just don’t think a girl would like it very much if I started dating her and then ignored her for weeks. I want love, but it just doesn’t seem possible for me.
If anyone has any words to spare, I would appreciate them. Just don’t lie.
|
ptsd
|
It’s not as common as it used to be, now that I work for a decent company. But I remember it from the past.
|
aspergers
|
hey all. i'm so tired.
every single month, it's this game where i call like 10 pharmacies for maaaybe one to have vyvanse, otherwise i just have to wait a week while they order it.
every.
single.
month.
it's vyvanse 60mg. they have the refill on file, but they can't order it until the refill request comes in, but i can't request it until a couple days before, which means i either missed the ordering or the shipment window.
for any of y'all who take this med at this dose and go to cvs, what the hell am i supposed to do to make them have it? if you don't go to cvs and don't have trouble, which pharmacy can i switch to?
|
ADHD
|
I’m trying to have fun at sea world but I’ve been here for only a few hours and I can’t do this. Im sweaty, I’m covered in sunscreen, there are babies crying, my skin feels sticky, and I just need to shower. Is there anything I can do to curb this feeling? Please help. I feel disgustingly miserable.
|
OCD
|
So my boyfriend went through a long time of off and on of s*xual assualt and I went through like a slightly less time of constant domestic violence as a child. I always feel like his is worse because of course it is. Do you have any advice on how to not feel this way?
|
ptsd
|
i cant take a bath, i cant brush in the morning, i cant get out of bed, i cant work, i cant study, i cant go to sleep, i cant clean my room, i cant change my clothes, i cant brush my hair, i cant pee when i need to, i cant meet my friends, i cant talk to my parents, i cant drink water, i cant eat meals, i cant take care of my skin, i can't be emotionally healthy, i can't exercise, i can't go outside, im not gonna last long im done
|
ADHD
|
I have very vivid memories of being a baby/toddler/child - but a majority of my memories are sensory or tactile - like the feel of the tile floors, carpets, wood, blankets, my crib rails, smell of furniture and such - distinct memories of enduring smells of people when they held me as a baby (most of them bad haha) - i can remember tags in clothes i wore at age 3 that drove me bonkers. like tactile movie clips. anyone else have this?
|
aspergers
|
Hello,
I’m wondering what it is like for someone on autism spectrum when you meet fake or disingenuous people? Do you have any red flags go off or what do you notice?
If you have travelled, do you notice a difference between eastern and western culture?
What is your view of people like influencers on Instagram?
Thanks!
|
aspergers
|
Damn all my life I thought I was just dumb for never being able to retain information or study the way I wanted to and then getting worse grades than my friends even though they didn’t study as much.
My teachers saying I keep making mistakes in exams I could have avoided if I “concentrated a bit better”, me having blackouts during times where I need to really focus and hating myself after..
Yo, it’s ADHD and I’m not stupid.
|
ADHD
|
Just speculations! I know we can’t know anyones true intent but speculating doesn’t hurt. This looks person is clinically depressed too
|
depression
|
I have a crippling depression and I wasn’t able to clean my flat for awhile. It feels awful, probably makes my depression worse too, but the thing is - I’ve always did it myself and it’s really hard to receive other’s help. My partner offered cleaning it, even said I can tell him what to do and how to do it and in what order, but i can’t say yes, feels like I’m letting go of something really personal and important to me, and for what? I don’t think it will work for me the same way. I have a routine, I know what to do, I just can’t do it now.
Ugh. Did anyone had experience like this? Does it generally help you if someone does your routine for you if you physically can’t?
|
OCD
|
I have the opportunity to meet a women that would basically do whatever I want (ONS BDSM), but she has sex with a lot of other guys too, also strangers. She will test, but there is still a risk left as the partners she slept with few weeks before me won't show up in a HIV test if they had it (for reliable HIV tests you need to wait 6 weeks or more)
This would be good for me as I am lonely and may stay single for a long time, but I am also unsure about whether I should take such a risk or not. Is this my OCD or is it sensible to be so skeptical? I cannot ask her to not have sex for weeks before meeting me and usually women who like sex won't ever be different when it comes to this.
How much concerned should I be over my health? What is OCD and what is normal?
|
OCD
|
I (26F) have a bachelor's degree in English, with intentions to go into academia. That won't ever happen, thanks to my GPA that was/is .03 under the minimum requirement.
I went to horology school. The only shop hiring clock or watchmakers is owned by two extremely toxic people, and I lasted 2.5 months with them.
I'm now working at a warehouse processing books for libraries. I've always wanted to be a writer, but I can never finish anything original and even if I did, no one would care. No one cares about my fanfiction, so why would they care about my original work?
The only goal I have now, and even then it's more like a fantasy, is to find a different job than the warehouse because my feet can't take it. But even then I know I won't find other work.
I'm always just barely not good enough for anything. I can never seem to manage anything good and every goal I've tried to set has fallen through. I don't know what to do. Honestly, I want to just end it, but my fiancée (27F) won't let me (as if she wouldn't find someone better).
I worked so hard for absolutely nothing. I don't know what to do now, and everything is pointless. Whoever first said "it gets better" deserves to be shot.
|
depression
|
this is just gonna be a list of stuff i've been experiencing for a while now, with some elaboration on context, pls pls pls feel free to corroborate any of this with your own experiences, i would love to hear :)
firstly, i've been unable to reach an official diagnosis for anything besides generalized depression & anxiety, primarily because i've created a very strict mental barrier between me and my reception to any help, in part due to some things i won't discuss here. although i'm looking toward getting back into a weekly session schedule as i had before.
would also like to mention that i had been taking Zoloft 200mg daily for 3 years before i just decided to quit cold-turkey last year during a rough period of stuff, haven't taken anything since.
- everything is "grouped" and subdivided in my mind: personalities of other people, the traits of those personalities in relation to things such as their appearance, materialistic values, mannerisms, etc. it feels like i have this subconscious, omnipresent list of characteristics i assign to people, in which i sometimes impose upon myself (i.e. since this girl likes x and i perceive her as y, i can/can't like x because i want/don't want to be perceived as y) superficially it sounds like i'm just describing social construct and how we pair mannerisms between different people, but what i've experienced is so extreme that it's always present in my mind, it just won't stop.
i obsess over how other people will perceive me because of how i perceive them and their x's and y's and how they correspond or clash with one another, in my mind. it's extremely draining and fucks up my confidence and overall sense of identity.
- obsession(s)/hyperfixations?: i only have 2 extreme examples of this, it feels like there's this hierarchy in my mind where every few years, i find a person (celebrity, etc) who competes for my consciousness. the first lasted nearly 5 years, where i was always looking at photos of this person, reading online about them, doing virtually anything that involved or was in some way related to them, just for the comfort and catharsis i received from it. 5 years of the same two people until last year when they were "replaced" by someone completely different after just watching a show, and i've been "obsessed" ever since. not in a weird "i'm obsessed with you, i want to be with you" kind of way whatsoever, just because of the way it makes or even allows me to feel. everyday i look the same pictures, interact with them the same way (which literally is just me listening to music and looking at said pictures, almost like i'm making and edit or a scene or something), but it makes me feel horrible in the amount that i partake in it. i hate it, but i'm content because it makes me feel an odd sense of comfort and familiarity. i've read up on parasocial relationships and ig it could kind of be considered as one, but to an extreme as to where there is not a waking moment of mine anymore where they're not somewhere present in my mind.
in addition to this, it almost feels like i'm losing my identity to them. i've bren beginning to like the same things they like, acting how i believe they would or in a way that they would like, and i'm so torn between it all. i know i can stop it by just disengaging with the media, but there's a sense of normality that i have about it while co-consciously being aware of how bad it has gotten.
i don't share it with anyone though. i've never once talked about this person outside of my own self, and i don't feel like i need or want to. at least there's some awarity there.
- trouble with memory/reality: every day feels like a dream, like that feeling when someone asks you to recall something they told you after you had just woken up. it honestly feels like just waking up in the morning is enough to initiate it, and i'm still not 100% why. i do have some complex trauma with my mother who i'm currently living with, but besides that i can't think of anything externally avoidable that would be causing this. i can't remember anything, and when i try to i spiral and get frustrated. i'm writing this at 9PM after a day at school and i can hardly remember a thing that happened to me or around me. it's just a haze of fragments that don't even feel real, nothing feels real even in the present sometimes and i have no idea why because i can't remember.
and it's only with emotional instances, at least that's what it feels like. i'm able to remember factual stuff (to the best of my ability) but when it comes to a question of "what did you do today?" or even "how was your day?" it feels like a test to answer.
- independencey/socialization: i don't have very many friends anymore. up until last year i used to have a decent bunch of people i considered to be close with, and even more that i would just talk to because i knew mutually. i've never found it "easy" to talk to people, but i was at least able to stick with them throughout the test of time. but ever since last year i have struggled immensely to facilitate and maintain relationships of any kind with anyone. i suddenly cut everyone i knew off and didn't talk to anyone throughout my sophomore year (this was also during covid, and i was at home for three quarters of the year). it's now this constantly regard for someone else's patience with me, whether or not i think i'm bothering them, etc. i've never wanted to bring it up to them because i know how petty and insipid the whole "i'm afraid i'm annoying you" spiel is so i instead took upon my own existential cycle of self-preservation disguised as my own self-sabatoge. i only talk to maybe a few people a day now and as lonely as that sounds, i enjoy it to an extent.
though there's a spiral of doubt that i've been catching myself in recently, whether or not i'm faking this desire for idenpendence just to mask my own shame for not having any friends. i understand this is greatly due to covid, but i wanted to hear some of your experiences with it.
i'll update and elaborate if this receives any questions or comments, thank you for reading if you made it this far :)
|
ADHD
|
I got diagnosed with ADHD at the beginning of this year and started taking Adderall XR in June. After a little while, I realized that it was basically making me numb and I felt like a zombie when I took it. In August I switched to IR , starting on 15mg 3x per day and bumping that up to 20 mg 2x per day the following month. For some reason, the IR felt completely different than the XR. I was in a good mood all day, I didn't feel like a zombie anymore, and I was very motivated to get my schoolwork done. I started organizing my week out and completely work before it was due, studying for a test prior to the day before, and I even was able to read books again. However, it stopped working the same after a while - I stopped being organized, my motivation to do necessary tasks and work drastically decreased, and it was a lot harder for me to get my shit together. I knew the Adderall was still working because I could definitely feel it, but I ended up losing motivation to do work and I couldn't focus on things the same anymore.
Two weeks ago my doctor prescribed me Concerta 36mg, and it worked well for about 2 days. There's currently no noticeable difference that concerta induces, so I'm going to try 54mg in about a week or so. I'm just struggling because I'm a sophomore in college and I need to get in control of my life. It's just scary because I want to just find a medication that works without spending months filtering through different drugs, and I thought I found the right one when I started taking Adderall IR. I just want to be able to have the same experience and mindset I had my first month and a half on Adderall, because I saw myself be really productive and an overall good student for the first time in my life, and then I watched it all just fall apart.
What I'm here to ask is, how long did it take for you to find the right medication and how did it feel for you? I'd also appreciate some tips on how to get tasks done and find the motivation to do schoolwork, laundry, etc.
|
ADHD
|
I have been on Ritalin for several months, and it was working OK but not lasting long enough and I couldn't ever remember to take the afternoon dose to extend it. My psych is having me try Focalin, which for the first week was great- some minor weirdness at first, but it's doing exactly what I wanted.
Until yesterday, when I took it as usual and I swear I checked my meds organizer four times throughout the day to confirm I took it. It didn't even touch me. I was my whirlwind self, and it was really disconcerting. I'm going to keep taking it and see what happens and of course talk to my psych, but I'm curious if anyone has experienced something like this?
|
ADHD
|
Okay, so I've had this thought in my head for a while. I have been on Adderall since 8th grade for diagnosed ADD.
I was pretty much diagnosed with OCD in 10th grade. My psych told me whatever I was experiencing at the time (can't remember. probably skin picking and having a hard time with change/getting rid of things) sounded like OCD. I was then put on Prozac.
Throughout the years after, my mental health went up and down, im not sure due to OCD or my other mental health conditions - because I had completely forgotten I had OCD since I was so preoccupied with other disorders.
Sometime Junior or Senior year I started misusing my Adderall, which eventually lead to me severely overtaking it.
I was hospitalized for Depression last year and they took me off Adderall because of my misuse and dependence. Six months I was off Adderall, and in January I got back on because I feel as if I can't be without them.
And of course, despite my best efforts, I still take too many.
In October, I began to have obsessions about past mistakes that made me have breakdowns, and eventually (over months) I had crippling intrusive thoughts that got worse and worse in both subject matter and intensity.
I was 4 months off Adderall when that happened.
When I got my prescription back in January my thoughts kept getting worse, despite taking it correctly for the first 2 months.
Anyway, I'm just scared I don't really have OCD and that all my symptoms are from Adderall use. When I was diagnosed, I was taking Adderall correctly.
Could my symptoms have just been made more worse/noticeable upon taking adderall? That's what I'm hoping.
Thank you for taking the time to read, I know it's a lot!!
|
OCD
|
I worry about something -> I feel that it's not worth worrying over -> I feel that I am not taking it seriously enough (loop)
I'm too worried. I need to worry less, because I am catastrophising
I'm less worried. I need to worry more, because I am minimising the situation
|
OCD
|
it's hopeless to think about asking for help but then you realize everyone is dealing with their own issues so you just don't say anything. i think everyone around me might be deeply unhappy and idk if it's teen angst or not. maybe some of them are suicidal, i don't really know because we cope with our problems with self-deprecating humor. i stopped believing when people say "just seek help, it gets better." no, everyone is miserable and sometimes i think it'll stay that way
|
depression
|
I started Adderall a week ago today and I have really appreciated how it's helped me with productivity and dealing with stress at my job. Tasks that would have had me rocking in a corner before have been manageable and I've been able to keep my head above water. I'm also better with my family and not so tied to my phone all the time. Less mindless scrolling, you know?
I got my Pfizer booster yesterday and knew that it was going to knock me out for a while, planned accordingly to take Thursday off. Skipped my afternoon meds yesterday and slept a glorious 12 hours. Still tired and achy and a little feverish, so I'm finishing up my daily language study before going back to bed for a nap. With my need to rest, I've decided to take the full day off from Adderall.
And you know what? Other than the time it took to write this post, I'm pretty focused this morning. Got some pretty distracting/distressing family stuff going on in the background, but even as I'm fielding messages from my mother I'm able to make progress with my studying.
Don't get me wrong - I'm looking forward to having a normal, medicated day tomorrow, but I also appreciate that I'm doing okay (at least today) without it.
|
ADHD
|
It was two years ago when my therapist told me i'm suffering from intrusive cumpulsive thinking patterns .
My question is do i really have ocd?
What are ocd peaople charactristics ? and how can i know if i'm really suffering from it ?
|
OCD
|
For me reading articles about the biological differences in ASD compared to NT has been helpful in understanding the real difference. I like the "synaptic pruning" theory are there others that have such a solid foundation/reasoning? Have you found resources that have a good amount of compiled information? I am planning on reading through articles on this site: https://embraceasd.com/synaptic-growth-synesthesia-savant-abilities/
Additional Article on Synaptic Pruning: https://www.cuimc.columbia.edu/news/children-autism-have-extra-synapses-brain
|
aspergers
|
Started at 10. I’m 17 now. through the years my triggers continued to pile up, and now they include: contamination, intrusive thoughts, religion ocd mixed w sexual, checking, numbers etc. I keep thinking that I’m numb to everything now but as someone once told me - “it’s possibly gotten so bad you don’t even know how much it has actually affected you” that’s when it really hit me, because it’s true.
come to think of it, as my triggers amounted and all this became part of my daily life, I’ve missed out on so much. From being unable to enjoy concerts, to not even being able to peacefully eat, all because of fucking OCD.
And here comes the dumbest part: it’s still being left untreated
|
OCD
|
I'm just so irritated and I've had a long cry about this already. I'm camping with him, and I was inside our pop-up RV when I see him out the window just balancing my phone on top of the stuff he was holding. It fell, and now my phone screen as 3 decent sized scratches on it and it's bothering my OCD terribly. My screen had been spotless because I'm so careful with my stuff, and now not only is it pretty badly scuffed up, it hit the dirt.
I'm so upset by his absolute disregard for my belongings, especially when he was carefully holding his own phone in his hands while haphazardly balancing mine on some garbage he was about to throw away.
The real kicker? Both me AND my roommate have told him repeatedly not to touch our belongings or electronics because he has broken his own phone this very trip AND his headphones! So very let down and upset. I wish my OCD would accept that it's no big deal, just a little "imperfection", but instead each scratch makes my skin crawl and I can't help but get angry every time I see them.
|
OCD
|
I really just want to mutilate my genitals and breast so I stop feeling sexual aroused and triggered because my body feels honry against my will. Is this a bad idea? I have no desire at all to have sex ever and I dont really see a downside other than a possible infection when I do it.
|
ptsd
|
When I first started posting on /r/adhd it had a lot of users, but it was a super plain subreddit, no flairs, no weekly threads etc. Now it just seems like such an awesome support page and I love it! Great work from the mods and everyone in the community to get it to this point. It really helped me in the past when I was getting diagnosed etc, and I imagine it's going to help many more in the future. Awesome! :D
|
ADHD
|
I feel like I have the conversational skills, and emotional intelligence of a 14 year old. But I have the intellect of a 21 year old college student. It feels like I'm a child around everyone else.
|
aspergers
|
I had an obsession earlier where I had to rewind certain scenes of anime or tv shows again and again, I felt that I didn't see a scene of anime/show properly and had to rewind that scene as a compulsion.
I fought this obsession and I don't have this obsession anymore, but during this time a new obsession developed. My compulsion changed from rewinding again and again to just quitting the episode and watching the episode from the start. I fucking hate this thing. I quit watching anime and if I quit watching anime, I can't listen to any of Japanese songs or intro/outros because this is one of my compulsion. I can't read manga and can't read books cuz I always get stuck in a loop of re reading.
Any tips? I visited a therapist but it didn't help me at all. Please help.
|
OCD
|
I constantly think of this no matter what I am doing, whether I am washing hands or studying or turning up or turning down the volume, brightness, also while walking and almost all the time. Please share your tips about how you overcome these thoughts.
|
OCD
|
So since 2020 I stared to have compulsive thoughts whit a lot of things like religion I stared considering myself a Christian, it was fine until this thoughts appear (what if God doesn't love you, what if your not really saved,what if he don't want you in his presence,is he even real ect) they were constantly at the point I couldn't sleep or paralyze because I thought if I move I was singing this make me cry a lot of times until 1 year pass.
The second thing that happened when I started to date this guy everything was fine until that night I stared to question everything (do I really love him or it was just fake what if im not happy but I'm in denial ect) this took 3 days in pass.
The third time I don't remember where I read this but it was something like "cute Japanese girl fcks her step dad" I was paranoid I couldn't stop thinking in that I was questioning my own sanity(what I want to fchk my dad,what if I start to feel something for him) this thought was in my head a hole month I didn'teven wantto see my dad.
This is the most resent one so this guy call me a lesbian and the first thoughts were(I don't like girls, but what if his right) this continued 2 months then I started thinking I was bi and the thoughts in my head disappeared but they came back (no I'm actually straight, but what if im denying myself, but I don't have crushes on girls, what if I do have them and I don't know)so I stared researching and I concluded I was bi but the thoughts didn't go they only became worse( what if im not bi..what if they boy was right and im lesbian, what if your in denial) then I discovered the "masterdoc" that was the worst decision I have made when I read it ( I'm in denial, do I really like men, do really like women, I'm I really bi, I'm in just being a victim of comphet, do I even feel comfortable whit someone ect) I still have this thoughts and I questioning if I really don't have a problem.
|
OCD
|
I spoke with my dr last week and ordered another prescription of methylphenidate. I ran out over the weekend and was expecting my meds to be in the pharmacy Monday morning. But they've messed up and I've been med free since Saturday, it's Wednesday now... Weekends are fine as I just chill and there's no pressure.. but this week at work has been a disaster so far.. I forgot what life with no ritalin was like!!!! I'm back to wondering in circles not getting anything done and thinking about whether more coffee might help.. falling rapidly behind on my work.. it's no fun!!
|
ADHD
|
I’ve been living in with my partner since the last 2 years. Initially it was all good but things changed as soon as I moved in. He was not that into me, did not take interest in keeping the relationship alive, kept the house extremely messy when he knew I had ocd. I started losing my love for him and here I am at the end of all this wanting to leave him. But I just cannot because I feel like I’m leaving a child into darkness :( yea, that’s how I see him. I really don’t know what to do. Please help.
|
ADHD
|
I know it doesn’t work; but I do it anyway. It’s almost instinctive. I don’t think and it happens automatically.
I scream and yell at my intrusive thoughts. Like Tourette syndrome tics.
It’s terrible.
|
OCD
|
Im 13 and i also masturbated to 3kids all of them 9-11 one was 10 or 11 when i did it i was 12 then but others were 9/10 im 13
It was months ago
I never did it again
I feel horrible
Also while masturbating to one i said a 6/7 year olds name in a sexual way beacuse i went past a picture while masturbating
Ive never done this ever again and i feel guilt and i feel horrible
Im 13 and i was waiting for something to install
So i walked around my flat and i randomly thought of girls my age but then randomly of kids
7 times of my cousin 5 times of one other kid and 3 times of one other kid
And my brain started imagining my cousin laying on the bed
Shes 11 btw and my brain imagined her laying there and my brain said "she has a fat ass..." and then it imagined " if nobody was home id fuck her" and then it imagined me fucking her.... and then her sucking my you know.. and her riding my you know....
And i was like wtf the whole time but i got a boner while all of this was happening
And i got a boner now again
And whenever my brain imagines stuff like this i get a boner
I dont want the boner
I dont want this
I want to be normal
But it all feels like im lying to myself and that i want to look good but i actually want to do that stuff when i dont want to
Btw im born in 7th of december 2007 and my cousin is born in 2010 late may like 20th so thats like around 2 years and 5 and a half months
Jesus christ
I dont want this
I literally get a boner when i think about stuff like this but i dont want it
I searched is 11 and 13 weird just now
And i got a fucking boner again beacuse i thought about this shit again
I dont want this i literally dont find kids attractive
But it again feels like im lying
When just a few days ago i was thinking about girls my age for an hour before sleeping
I dont want this stuff
I dont get a boner if i see her and dont think about it
But my brain almost always makes me think about it
I really dont want this
It feels like im lying whenever i say something and it loops like what if im lying about this right now
I have over 500 notepad files and when i delete them i write new ones again its all about this stuff
Ive been having this shit since my 13th birthday
I feel like a worthless peice of shit
I dont want to be a pedophile
I look at my fav celebs and imagine what they would say
I just dont want this
I dont want to do anything with kids
But my brain makes me think i do and that im lying rn
And i thought about my cousin and sex again and now i got a boner
I dont want the boner
Nor do i feel arousal
But my brain makes me think i feel arousal
Whenever i masturbate i have to think of kids to see if i will cum faster to the adult
Its horrifiying
I dont want to be like this pleass help me
I cant get a therapis tnor anythinf
I feel helpless i almost cried once
I just want to be normal
Ive always masturbated to adults and i still do but i think of kids randomly and masturbated to them as you see in the first time
This has been on my mind for fucking almost a year now aka 8 months
ALSO WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS WATER OUT OF MY PENIS BEACUSE MY BONER STOPPED AND THERSS LIKE A DROP OF WATER
LIKE CUM WATER
IS THIS FUCKNG DISCHARGE WTF
AM I A PEDOPHILE
PLEAEE
HELPNME
I FEEL HOPELESS
I AM WEORRIED
I WANT TO BE NORMAL
I DONT WANT TO BE LILE THKS
I NEVER HAD THESE THOUGHTS UNTIL MY 13TH BIRTHDAY
WHAT IS WRONG WIH ME
I ALDO GO TO DANCE
AND THERES KIDS AND I FEEL HORRIBLE
AND INJUST GOT A BONE RBEACUS EI THOUGHT ABOUT ONE FUCK MY LIFE
MY UNDERWEAR ISNFUCKING WET
I also listened to kodak black
But hes apparently a pedo
But i still listened and i knew that he may of been
My excuse to myself was "i can enjoy any music i want"
|
OCD
|
Or any kind of physical clock! Anything that isn't a phone/computer screen! Time blindness is real, and eliminating the chance for distractions from my cellphone when I'm just checking the time has been quite helpful- especially when I wake up in the middle of the night. Oddly enough also just having something that's making a noise at regular intervals (like a clock ticking) tends to help me keep track of time passing as well. Doubly so if it can make a noise on the hour. An analog wristwatch also works!
|
ADHD
|
Tomorrow’s my first day and I’ll be on Strattera 40 mg (taken once a day). What should I expect?
Also:
What time should I take it given that I start working at around 8am
What time are the crashes
What should I expect when I start crashing
Would appreciate some advice on this! I’m nervous but also hopeful that this’ll really help me 🙏🏼
|
ADHD
|
Hi, totally new here. I’ve not felt well for a long time and I’ve always just compensated. Recently it’s been so bad I’ve had to get help and I’m working towards managing my triggers. I’ve just been so angry out of nowhere and my partner is really struggling with it. I think for me the loss of connection in my relationship is just such a reflection of how lonely my trauma has made me. I feel like I’m totally alone. I feel like each time I’m triggered all of the trauma just rips me up inside over and over again until I try to numb myself. It’s like I’m covered in cling wrap and nobody can reach me. Does anybody else feel like this?
|
ptsd
|
Has anyone else been affected by this? I find myself making mistakes like missing out filing files in folders, filing things in the wrong folder, sending out the wrong attachment (even after checking), just many small mistakes that you can’t explain or can’t remember what happened? When my boss asks me to explain myself I find that I can’t, because I don’t understand why I didn’t do it properly either.
Since the incident 6 months ago, and undergoing a full course of ECT sometime in August, I don’t know what’s happened to me. I know it’s tiny but the many small mistakes build up and I feel embarrassed with the state of my work because I used to be much sharper. Has anyone had the same issue before?
|
ptsd
|
College and work stressed me out latelly. I was 3 months free from ocd, but I've had such terrible week and felt super anxious all the time.
I want to feel okay like I did past weeks. Any way to help it?
|
OCD
|
If you wanna vent, let’s talk. It helps to have someone where you can just express yourself freely, I’m not feeling well so I think talking and venting with someone might be a good idea and vice versa. Message me!
|
ptsd
|
Before my diagnosis and medication for ADHD, I spent over 25 years on various anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. But even then, I would sit in my room feeling horrible about myself and having waves of anxiety.
Depression says, "Why are you just sitting there instead of doing something like a real person? Why can't you get your shit together? You suck, you're a loser and this is your lame life forever.. " Anxiety says, "Everything is falling apart! You have to do something about it right now! And, also, you have to make a phone call."
What I noticed after treatment with Adderall, is that I'm still not perfect! I still have a messy room (that I think I should clean and I don't). But I don't feel bad about it; it doesn't make me feel hopeless anymore.
I thought with medication I would become super-productive, and suddenly DoAllTheThings! My overall productivity and focus is much better. But, in a lot of ways, it has just helped me feel ok about being a real person that has great qualities along with some imperfections: I always have been (and so are you!) and that is a wonderful thing!
|
ADHD
|
I don't always realize that I talk loudly and I'm in class but my teacher told me I need to lower the volume a lot and I'm being really loud and I didn't realize it so now I'm embarrassed and want to cry. I really hate how unaware I am of myself and my own actions, I want to cry and curl up to self loathe.
|
ADHD
|
For context: My former best friend caused me a lot of emotional distress for over a year until I unfriended them in late 2020. To put it briefly, they watched my every move dictating what I should do in my life(and my private life w/ my partner). I’ve blocked and cut all ties with them since then. It accumulated into emotional trauma/ptsd to the point I was having nightmares often about them, it’s been almost a year so the nightmares have lessened thankfully. I find it hard to talk to any mutual friends since then because I was made out to be the bad guy for unfriending them.
So now I’m a bit concerned because a couple of weeks ago I mistook someone at a restaurant for my former best friend and my body kicked into flight freak out mode or something. I almost collapsed with how much my legs were shaking, and I pulled my partner’s arm to stop them from continuing into the restaurant because my body was like RUN. Then looking at the person again I realized it wasn’t them. I felt so embarrassed for panicking like that. No amount of talking about the past situation helps alleviate the fear of seeing them, I hate confrontation. I’m going to a faire in December and I’m really anxious I’ll run into them there, I just don’t want to be on high alert all day and borderline huffing air hard.
|
ptsd
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.