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Hey, what do you guys do for work? I’m just curious. I work in sales and it requires a lot of self autonomy which sometimes is a big struggle. As I sit here on a Monday morning trying to get going, it’s after 10:30 and I’ve barely gotten anything done nor do I have the motivation or drive to. Do you guys find a career with more structure is helpful? I’ve been searching for jobs again and as much as I love the flexibility of sales, I feel like a job where I’m given more structure might benefit me more. | ADHD |
I know that stims are vasoconstrictors. And I know that it can take time for your body to adjust to medication changes. Hoping that's all this is, but figured I'd ask anyway.
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A little adhd med history. I originally was giving 10mg IR Adderall when I was first diagnosed back in November. It wore off quickly and gave me irritability as it was wearing off, but I could feel some benefits for focus and just a little more pep in my step. Doc gave me 15mg XR to try and that only lasted for two days because it made me ANGY. And I am not an angry person and I was having awful thoughts and not even getting benefits from it. Only angery.
I asked to try Vyvanse and she started me on 20mg 2 weeks ago. Never had a euphoria day. Never once thought "wow, I actually got to focus!" Only got to have my appetite suppressed and a dry mouth. But I kind of felt like maybe there was something there. I wasn't getting irritable, which was great! I wasn't having any afternoon "crashes" as it wore off. So we increased me to 30mg.
And holy moly today is just...weird. I always eat first, to make sure I actually get some fuel into my body before my appetite gets yeeted out the window. But all day since taking the 30mg I have just felt like my body is made of TV static, tingling and buzzing. My ears ever so slightly ring and they feel a little plugged and ache. My eyes feel like they can't quite focus, I find I'm squinting a lot and scrunching my brows. I feel a little like my cognitive functioning just isn't very sharp. I'm working slowly, spacing out at times, experiencing like...brain lag.
For example, I just opened a file to look at a few documents to compare. Got to one screen and it was like I had to ask myself, "alright, I know I'm supposed to be on this screen, but now what is it I'm supposed to do next?" and it takes me longer than I think is usual to just do my job. And then sometimes I end up clicking on the wrong thing as though my brain is just mindlessly guessing what it is I'm supposed to be doing. And then my awareness will catch up and question "why did I open that?"
Hoping tomorrow feels more normal, less tingly, and maybe like it's actually helping. But curious to hear anyone's thoughts. | ADHD |
I've read that a few companies have neurodiversity hiring programs. Have you or anyone you know ever used these programs? How was the experience?
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What proof of autism did they want? Medical records? A doctor's note?
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Have you ever had to demonstrate that you're on the spectrum in order to get benefits? What proof did you need? | aspergers |
So my girlfriend and I fought and now we've decided to take a break from the relationship. We both really like each other but we've argued a lot and both have our own problems. I have aspergers and she is NT. Basically, I don't have any clue on how I can improve myself or get rid of my aspergers traits so that our relationship will improve. I feel like a lot of problems are caused by the fact I have aspergers, like lack of empathy, lack of intimacy, not being able to change or to listen to her properly but I really don't know how to change myself in a significant way permanently or at least for a long time. The only thing I can think of is going back to the gym and trying to get fit again so that I'm in a better state mentally. I know that if I don't change she'll probably leave me. Has anyone been in a similar scenario and can give me any practical advice? | aspergers |
{trigger warning: child abuse, physical and emotional abuse}
Background: I was abused as a child and I have been diagnosed with PTSD.
I went to Ikea the other weekend to pick out things for my room. This little girl, she must have been 5 or 6, she was wearing a pink dress and she had a big pink bow in her hair. She had shoulder length curly hair. I was picking out a chair, and she went over to her mom and asked when they could look at sheets. Her mom swore at her and said if she kept speaking to her, she wouldn't get to do anything. I figured i woudl give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe it was a hard day. I focused on shopping. Later, I saw them {big trigger warning here} and I noticed the mother look around to see if anyone was watching, and slap the girl in the face. She was so small and i could see myself so clearly in her. What would/do you do in a situation where you see a child being abused in public, but the person is a complete stranger. I didn't approach her (the girl, or the mom), for fear of making the abuse worse. I wish I could have helped but I just...I didn't know how.
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tl;dr What would/do you do in a situation where you see a child being abused in public, but the person is a complete stranger. | ptsd |
Hey y'all I am 21 (m) and got diagnosed about 6 months ago I didn't start taking medication because of a friend who has adhd and said his personality completely changed while on it l. That scared me, so I researched tools to try and help me manage but it feels like nothing is working.
It is putting a strain on my relationship and I don't know what to do. I am scared to start taking medication because I don't want to become a different person.
I need an different perspective to help put my mind at ease.
Can I get some suggestions? And perhaps how the medication effects you when starting? | ADHD |
The one thing I've wanted my whole life is to be a parent one day. But with the stress and trauma from my OCD, I'm just not sure if it's a possibility anymore. There's so many things I worry I won't be able to do because of my OCD. I've felt on many occasions that I can't I can't even live life at all with it. I'm still young, so I have time. Maybe it will get better. But it might not. | OCD |
I feel like im spiraling again, i have so much self hatred for myself. im worried about everything and i just feel like im losing myself i dont know who i am anymore. | depression |
I’m new posting on here and on mobile. Bit of a lurker. Idk why I’m posting this. Maybe it’s to seek further help. Maybe it’s to validate with others. I’m trying to be better. This is all I can say for now. I’m on generic Lexapro. I’m 29y M. So far it’s getting better people. So far. Idk. | depression |
I am a 30 year old woman who is attending school and working full-time. I have suspected I was different for pretty much my entire life. I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety for most of it as well. It got to a point where I started to look for answers. I’m not going to get into the nitty gritty, but I’m just exhausted and want answers. So I started to think I might be on the spectrum and decided to take a bunch of online assessments. All of them have pointed towards the answer being that I probably am. I recently took the RAADS-R online. I posted my results below. Based on this, I feel that I already have my answer. My issue is, what if it’s all a lie. How do you overcome imposter syndrome? I have a hard time believing in myself enough as it is. I’m having such a difficult time wrapping my head around the fact that my entire life that this could be the reason my life has gone the way it has. I have done a lot of research and I truly believe that I have become so good at masking myself, due to the traumatic events I have been through and the authoritarian household I was raised in. My question is, where do I go from here? How did finding this out change the way you lived your life? I just want to be happy and to feel free. I appreciate any input. Normally I wouldn’t talk about myself on a public forum, but I don’t know where else to go at this point.
[RAADS-R](https://www.aspietests.org/raads/questions.php?show=93e2f2a3632756&locale=en_GB) | aspergers |
I was diagnosed with adhd a few days ago at the age of 25. I’m from the U.K. and I have been hoping for the past 2 years to start studying for a degree in medicine (graduate entry medicine) which despite having all the material I would constantly put off as I couldn’t study long enough. I’m hoping medication will help me with this but want to know if anyone is or has gone through something similar? Any success stories re. adhd studying to become drs welcome. | ADHD |
Does anyone here have a child with special needs? Our middle 9 year old son has Down Syndrome. I have no problem dealing with the therapy schedule (when he was younger), dr. appointments and hospital stays because from what I've discovered through my diagnosis, this is my way to chase a dopamine high. I'm always in a tizzy. Now actually doing what the therapists, teachers, behaviorists and doctors tell me to do is another problem. I never follow through. So that means my son doesn't have the structure he needs and probably has anxiety plus he's really irritating to be around. We generally isolate ourselves because of it. I do my best to get my other two boys out and involved but I know it's not fair to my middle son plus it puts a strain on me and my husband.
Why can't I just freaking follow through. I know that there would still be problems if I did everything right but I know life would be easier if I would try harder. I put a ton of blame on myself but it is what it is. I genuinely hate myself sometimes. | ADHD |
Currently listening to (Somebody I used to know- Gotye) I feel like my love life is parallel to this song. This all began on Sept 30th, 2021. I just turned 18 on that day. looking at the scale I was 215lbs. Anyway, long story-short, I used to be active in the gym, but due to the gyms being closed by the pandemic I gained 40lbs since then. My girlfriend at that time cheated on me with my best friend in my own damn hoodie during October, thus I fell into severe depression. I remember gripping the bathroom sink a few times, and looking in the mirror and repeating "you're losing control" over & over. Asking myself ridiculous questions like, how was I so gullible? Where were the signs? How was I so fucking stupid? I guess when you’re so in love you turn a blind eye to things.. But then I realized I’m just a piece of shit, fat body, a waste of space, nobody wants me. I hate when people look at me. I hate getting flashbacks of things I don’t want to remember. The edge of sadness, oozing with memories & emotions. I heard about water fasting, and you guessed it. I fucking starved myself for 33 days & lost over 30 pounds, it’s still not enough I’m fucking hideous. I remember eating for the first time again & feeling so guilty & ashamed of myself and who I am. I’m now 179lbs I’m actually considering suicide but I wish I had the fucking balls man, I’m tired of this.. I don’t want this. | depression |
I noticed that when even when I'm on meds and caffeine I need a motivation jump start in order to study properly. I can study pretty well at school and at tutoring but once I'm home I get kinda depressed and anxious, so I just end up laying in bed all day. Like at school I'll write a lot and raise my hand often, my motivation is at its highest point that I even write to-do lists or set timers for the day (which I don't end up following).
The reason why I'm so motivated at school and tutoring is because my techers' instant approval and feedback keeps me going, I don't have anything like that at home. Another reason is that I'm kind of a perfectionist, if I start struggling or make a mistake I don't keep going.
This behaviour made me barely do work during lockdown which ended up ruining my grades for the last school semester. Obviously another problem is that my room is full of things that could distract me, not just my phone but also other stuff.
Does anyone have tips on how to motivate yourself when you have adhd? | ADHD |
They say I was heroic.
They tell me i was brave.
They say I did all I could do.
Saved all I could save.
Don’t tell me I was a hero.
I never made that claim.
Don’t tell me I was a hero.
Please forget my name.
If I was heroic
I would have done more.
If I was a hero
You wouldn’t be at death’s door.
If I was heroic
I would have saved you.
If I was a hero
I would have known what to do.
If I was a hero it would have been me.
If I was a hero what would be? | ptsd |
I've been prescribed 100mg Modafinil and 20mg fluoxetine for ADHD, Depression, Anxiety, and showing symptoms Of OCD
I have been losing my mind over this because I don't want to lose myself. I'm terrified of these meds and the side effects
Also because I'm Diabetic and I've read stories about stomach aches and diarrhea and it's sucking the sanity out of me. I've also read about it that it can keep me awake at work but I also have insomnia so the doc gave me lorazepam to sleep and. Oh god. Having to depend on meds to stay awake and sleep. A thing my body is supposed to do naturally. I'm scared. I'm so scared. Please help me
My doctor said there wont be any drastic side effects but that isn't enough for my anxiety is it!!!!!
Please tell me if Modafinil worked for you. Please
I have a cat and Im at work 10am-8pm and I don't get to play with him he cries all night and he wakes me up and I can't wake up and I'm so afraid of what these sleeping pills will do to me if I can't sleep and if I never wake up to his meows, which is what is happening
I just want to play with my cat and not fuck up my job. | ADHD |
I’ve been depressed my whole fucking life as far back as I can remember, I’m only 23 does this shit ever stop or at least get better? Fuck. On meds currently have tried a plethora of them but no matter what I’m always just fucking down and ready for it all to end
when i have to act happy I’m just being fake, I just see shit for how it is and maybe that’s why i have this outlook. I try to tell myself the old cliche “oh it’ll get better, tomorrow’s a new day yada yada” idk why I tell myself these things when I don’t feel any truth to it. at a loss . I think abt suicide daily but really don’t think I would ever do it.I feel like I want to do it but am too pussy to actually do it. God forbid I live to be 60,70,80 years old. that just sounds so horrible to me. I feel like I’ve been alive forever already! I’m just ready to go on my next adventure...whatever that may be ..
first time posting here ..cause if I say this to anyone around me I’ll end up in the mental ward... | depression |
Currently I’m undiagnosed, so I wanted to post this cycle and see if it checked out with others here.
Hyperfixation
>>
Lack of Sleep and Accomplishment
>>
Lack of Performance
>>
Additional things I need to accomplish
>>
Further procrastination, stressing over it, yet not doing anything else because I can’t let go of said objective
>>
Get it done, or half ass it right before the deadline, turns out it was very little
>>
Hyperfixiation
Edit: formatting | ADHD |
Hey everyone. I’m struggling a lot with germs. I have a fear of getting sick so you can imagine how this can lead to ocd. I wash my hands like crazy and constantly think about cross contamination. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t really concentrate on other things. I did get worse during the pandemic but I am back on my college campus next semester and just thinking about it make me really scared. My main things like I said is cross contamination and hand washing. I need to wash my hands like 3-4 times before I touch my mouth to eat, brush teeth, etc. Is one time really enough? I can’t seem to get my self to do it one time. Also, with cross contamination, I need to disinfect everything all the time. If I leave the house, my phone needs to be disinfected when I come back. I’m worried that with going to school, I would have to disinfect my books and backpack everyday and it seems like a nightmare. How can I get better in a month? I’m not sure if I can afford therapy either but if there are any affordable recommendations, I would love to hear them. Thank you. | OCD |
how did you guys know? i’ve been on 20mg of lexapro for about a month now and i can’t tell how i’m supposed to feel. i’m still kinda miserable but i’ve had some moments of being somewhat carefree recently. but i still have intense intrusive thoughts that can still be very brutal. am i supposed to feel better than this? it’s my first time on meds (i’m in ERP as well)! | OCD |
I did it, my parents were not convinced, and all my friends said i had nothing, but i still did it.
I think this is one of the most important things i have ever done, it doesn't matter if i get diagnosed or not, because i will finally have answers about who i am, and there's nothing more satisfying than that.
So if you really fear you might have something, just go, because having answers is better than nothing. | ADHD |
I'm sure you've all had this experience but the ADHD tax has snowballed me in the worst way. I was trying to register my car a year after purchase because ADHD, PTSD, anxiety, and existing under capitalism make it hard. The DMV basically told me my paperwork wasn't enough and sent me out. I didn't take my meds bc I wanted to be able to exercise after and honestly forgot how loud and distracting and overstimulating the DMV is. Now I have to try a different DMV and hope they'll listen to me explain the paperwork. And I'm registering it only now because I am applying to law school and they ask where your car is registered. Any inconsistency intentional or not on my personal details of my application can have me barred from law school. I have a nauseating headache from the stress of all this and I am just so tired of this. Between this and my EDS I just feel like I get emotionally/physically hit by a bus regularly. | ADHD |
i just want to feel happy. and safe. i want to feel valued, and i want to be able to wake up from a nightmare to someone comforting me. i want to be able to go back to sleep in someone's arms. i want to be told im worth fighting for by someone who does; i want to be told im worth something by someone who could get better than me, or more out of me. i want to be enough when i feel like im not enough, i want to be forgiven when i make mistakes, i want to serve someone and them thank me, and let me be happy to help without acting like im lesser, or inadequate, or a fill-in. i want someone who makes me feel safe ALL the time. i want to be able to walk into hell with them and believe they could kill the devil for me. i want a living angel to claim me as their own. but im alone, and i think ill always be alone, because angels dont exist, and i don't deserve that, and i'll never understand how other people work. that's why ill always be alone. i know mom. | ptsd |
I already posted a similar post to a different subreddit and someone recommended I post it on this subreddit.
Hi, Gonna get straight to the point. I am 15 Male, I deal with Anxiety, OCD (and more but the rules state to not mention it) I am not gonna vent right now or complain, But I just need someone to help me with one of my OCD's...I will explain, I am not asking for someone to help me physically because I know this isn't very realistic. And I am also not going to explain the OCD in detail since it will be confusing. I have multiple OCD 'problems' but there is one that I just need help with at this moment. As short as it could be explained, I force myself to breath in and out when I look at someone (or animal) it started off as just having to do it when I go outside, Now its to the point where I can't even watch a movie unless its animated because I struggle to. I am not THAT invested to movies so I don't mind the movie part but the OCD itself is VERY VERY challenging. I am not asking for help with the OCD itself I am asking for help for today? There is a storm going outside and I just wanna enjoy myself for once. I wanna watch something, I wanna deal with at least one of my OCD's But I am scared. Lets say for example; I want to watch that new spider-man movie, I want to, but I won't because I am scared to. The fear this OCD is being fed by is that I am scared that if I look at someone and breath in and don't breath out it will "Harm" them (I am hoping that I made it obvious that the fear is more than just harming, Didn't write the word because of another OCD, Sorry.) I just wanna relax today. Am I allowed to lets say watch that movie? I wanna watch it without forcing myself to do the OCD, Because skipping forwards and backwards everytime isn't enjoyable. Please help, I just need someone to promise me that its fine if I ignore this OCD. I am sorry but its such a major step for me.
Sorry | OCD |
(Possible TW for emetophobia-related OCD) Recently when I have been worried about toxic fumes I’ve felt a tingling/dry/scratchy feeling in my throat which I guess could be my brain’s interpretation of what happens when you inhale something bad?
Also I got a covid test today and gagged on the stick* and because of my fear of gagging and vomiting I can’t get this awful feeling out of my throat like I could gag any minute :( my contamination OCD surrounds/stems from my fear of vomiting so I feel it could be related also because I can’t stop thinking about it/reimagining the feeling of gagging.
*please don’t let this deter u from getting a covid test if you need/are required to have one!! My intrusive thoughts are exaggerating how bad it was | OCD |
Honestly despite being diagnosed I still get confused sometimes whether I am actually having an episode or I'm just being lazy.
As for the dealing part, I've got better solutions thanks to therapy but sometimes it doesn't work. I wanna read all the good and bad ways to deal with an episode.
Ps I'm on episode 3, and yes humor is one of my coping mechanism | depression |
This week is the 2nd time my dose increased from 30 of vyvanse originally to 50 now but I Don't if it works or not to the point I'm thinking that I am misdiagnosed . I really am getting desperate for it to work but I don't what to look for to see if it really is working or not I watched several videos about their experience but I am having a hard time understanding what it is they are saying | ADHD |
32yo male here. I started taking 1mg since yesterday but I am a bit insecure regarding using this for a long term or it's withdrawal.
I am currently taking 125mg of Zoloft and 2.5mg of Valium.
Any experiences or views on Namenda? | OCD |
because oh boy despite having to see a therapist and get interviewed by cps i still feel like i'm being overly dramatic somehow | ptsd |
Lately, I've been dealing with some severe Depression. I've dealt with depression, PTSD, OCD, for pretty much my whole life. At first I had no idea that it was depression, which may sound weird. However, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense.
I've spent my whole life trying to cover everything up. I'm fine, it's cool, I'll get over it, it's not a big deal. I've gotten so good at masking pain that I can hardly recognize certain "check engine lights". I'm sure this is the case for many of you as well.
Take a second and stop. Stop everything you're doing and think about what you need. You, not someone else, you. You matter, you're important and you are loved. Take your time getting yourself together. There is no rush, no time frame. Forget all of that. For a second, stop ignoring your check engine light.
One thing we are all exposed to is this idea that there is some time frame for healing. Like everything is some papercut or something. There is no set amount of time in which you need to fit your healing process. It took me 20 years, give or take to get to a place where I'm somewhat comfortable. That doesn't mean you have to do it in the same amount of time. Slow down, take your time and focus on just putting one foot in front of the other. Before you know it, you'll have finished the marathon and you'll look back and see just how far you've come.
Even now, it doesn't matter if you've traveled 5 feet or 5 miles, you're making progress. Every day is a new opportunity to move forward. Just keep pushing. Some days you'll fall, other days you'll sprint. It doesn't matter. Crawl if you have to...just keep pushing forward.
I believe in you. I know you can do it. Be proud of even the smallest successes. You're a warrior. Keep up the good fight against the enemy we call PTSD. | ptsd |
So I had no idea what generic of Adderall I was taking until when I went to refill this last time, I noticed the color of the capsule had changed. I’ve been taking these new ones for about a week and they’re practically garbage. So after a great deal of research, I’ve discovered what I need are the Teva brand XR 20mg.
CVS, my pharmacy who had been supplying them to me says they can’t get them right now. I’ve also called Publix, Costco & Walgreens with no luck. Monday I plan on trying the smaller pharmacies in my area that aren’t open right now.
Can Anyone tell me or at least suggest where I may find Teva XR 20mg? I’m 🤏🏻 this close to having an anxiety attack thinking about trying to keep up at my job without working meds. | ADHD |
Ok, so I’ve seen a ton of memes on r/aspiememes that are like,”lol I’m annoying because I tell people a million facts about (insert special interest). Well I thought that was weird because I tell people facts all the time and no one is ever annoyed. In fact, they’re always amazed about how many facts I know. Well I finally realized why that’s the case. Other people with autism ONLY tell facts about 1 topic and nothing else, which can get annoying for non autistics. However, I don’t have any special interest. My special interest in facts. Just, facts. Because of that I tell facts about almost everything (with a few exceptions such as sports because I find them boring). So someone could ask a question about pretty much anything and 90% of the time I’ll know the answer, whereas with other, y’all only know a million facts about 1, maybe 3 subjects. I’m not saying I’m smarter than most autistics, because I’m sure a lot of you are smarter than me or about the same as me, but I’m just saying I know so many facts about so many different things that people don’t get annoyed by me like they do to some of you. Just something I noticed about myself and others. | aspergers |
So, I posted here before about having panic attacks at work. I found a positive way to work through this with my managers.
My managers reached out to a employee support programme so I can have someone to talk to (they currently are off sick, but hey, I've waited a long time for proper help, what's an extra few months to it?). It's good, I like the person, they also have PTSD so they fully understand everything I'm going through and I feel like I'm not so misunderstood. Them doing this made me realise they really do want to help.
Good manager A has also been very helpful with some other home stuff going on for me. I had a chat with her about my close friend going through a mental health problem that she had/s too, and it was really good, because I admitted that despite having a mental health problem myself, I still can't fully understand what what it's like to have depression. I think it humbled my manager for me to admit that, like she admits that she doesn't understand what PTSD is like. Honestly we ended up chatting for nearly an hour about life. It was great! Funnily enough though, I initiated the conversation because I wanted to let her know my memory is currently worse because of the extra home stress, and I forgot to mention that to her until after our meeting... I in fact went up to her about 10 minutes after saying "I forgot to tell you! My memory's bad!" And she laughed and blamed me forgetting on our gossiping, **not on me**.
Manager B is very old fashioned, and as I figure her out more I've noticed a few things:
* She's probably a narcissist, or has narcissistic tendencies. I do think she cares, but she really struggles to be empathetic. It's all about how things affect her. Case in point - I had a long phone call with a supplier which I should have had (thanks to someone else refusing to do their job) and she said how it was "hard for \[her\] to listen to" and was clearly frustrated by that, and not by me being a bit frazzled by a long conversation.
* She struggles to cope with being wrong, and sadly she often is as she doesn't listen to everything said and doesn't read everything. I fortunately have been able to play the "I'm sorry I don't understand" card when trying to show her she's not taken in all the necessary information.
* She can be the definition of walking on egg shells when she's in a mood, which she has been for over a week now. Whilst it's understandable why she's grumpy, she has been taking it out on the team. I'm very pleased I've learnt how to not get involved in that and how to just focus on my work when she's like that.
* She's also a bit insecure, that I find easy to work with in one way, but she's been arguing with team members lately saying how she's the boss and that she knows it all. I have noticed her managers are talking with her privately a few times, so whilst I'm not a fan of her unpredictable nature, I know her behaviour isn't being tolerated.
* And finally, she just doesn't understand mental health. Again, she cares, but she has said just to "not worry" regarding my panic disorder, to not let what caused my PTSD rule my life (I wish it were that simple!) and other things that are meant nicely but shows she doesn't understand. I recently got a lamp for my desk to help calm down my PTSD (as agreed with manager A and the support worker) and it has helped massively, but manager B who I sit next to didn't understand why I needed it; she was focusing on the practical usage - like do I need extra light to see?
Sadly, it's not easy to tell manager B to back off and just to not tell her things - I wish I could tell her that but she's persistent and doesn't exactly respect my space. However, right now I seem to have found a way to straddle the line of respecting her needs and letting her know what's necessary, and separating any emotional needs from her.
I have supportive colleagues, another one has PTSD, and she can ground me in an instant, and I've decided to tell members of my team that I very clearly have mental health issues and that it's okay for us all to talk. I think it's good as they already do talk so I feel safe. This has meant I can focus on my work now, and I'm really settling in. I'm significantly more productive now!
I've rambled on for a while now. I wanted to let you all know things are currently stabilising for me, one step at a time. I have many huge steps to take after this, but settling into work was priority number 1.
Hope you're all doing as well as you can be! | ptsd |
It took me far too long to get to that point for my liking but it felt great when I realized I was able to get away with calling them out for their social ineptitude once in a while. | aspergers |
My chest starts to feel this heavy pressure. Pushing deep down crushing my insides and whatever’s left inside of me. My face feeling warm as my cheeks turn rosey. Eyes burning as i try so hard to not let another tear out. My vision is mostly indistinct, as i try to look at what once was called home. I see the place i grew up in. The people who came in and out of my life so often as if i was like a thrift store. Used and left for someone else to use. Nothing really stayed consistent in this home. Not the faces, nor the things inside of it. My life was was this battlefield of love and hate Competing against eachother. Somedays i felt love. Not just from the people surrounding me in this home, but love from my belongings. My room it’s where i spent most of my time. Where i let my mind wander into these places i never wanted to leave, but most times i couldn’t escape. Fighting myself and seeing this self hatred part of me that sometimes i can’t tell if it’s me or someone else. She comes out mostly at dusk. The instant the sun goes down and is all cozy behind the clouds. Tucked in. Safe and sound waiting for it’s time to come back out and shine. But that’s not me. I lie here and wonder if I’ll ever be that peaceful surrounded by the warmth of being covered. | depression |
In this case I’d be robin because lately depression has had more control over my life than I have.i go through life expecting the worse,doing bare minimum then when the worst occurs due to my low amount of effort I sit and drowning in my self fulfilled prophecy | depression |
I often feel like I’m lying to myself sometimes if I’m not struggling at my worst all the time. Or if I’ve found hacks to get things done. Or even if I don’t experience a struggle I see other people with adhd talking about. Like being late for work, I’m never late for work. I cut it close sometimes but I’m almost never late. My own hack is that the time I tell myself I need to leave is actually earlier than I really need to, so when I forget to factor in time to put in my shoes, grab my coat, etc I’m actually right in time. But because lots of people talk about struggling with being late I feel like im faking. Like if my experience doesn’t 100% match up with other peoples I’m just a liar or something. | ADHD |
It took me (27 M) time to recognize the emotion but now I know I'm in love with my best friend.
The emotion has complicated our friendship. More on my end than hers. I want to be friends but its so difficult for me with my feelings.
On her end, she has said she did have feelings for me but does not want a relationship now but may in the future. I almost wish she would have told me she will never have feelings for me.
I've tried my best to go on dates the last couple years and just generally give it time. Nothing has helped and if anything I just feel more certain about my emotions.
Any advice for an aspie? | aspergers |
My mother has told me from the time I was an infant I was pill-rolling anything soft/fuzzy I could get my hands on, well that habit has carried well into my adult life. I’m now 26. It happens more frequently during times of stress. I take Zoloft and Mirtazipine for MDD and anxiety but still have these picking impulses. Anyone have success with breaking the cycle?! | OCD |
I've entered a relationship about two months ago. When she confessed, I seemed so sure I feel the same. But now I feel like every time I say I love her it's not truth. I hate it. I don't want to break her heart but I also know it's bad for my mental state right now. Should I tell her we should go back to being friends for now? | depression |
A friend told me that her cousin got in the face with a rake and lost all but one of their teeth and I burst out laughing. I literally do not know why I didn't think that was an inappropriate thing to do. I don't know why. I realised pretty much immediately when she said 'it's not funny' and found it impossible to enjoy the rest of the evening because I couldn't stop thinking about it and regretted it. I am starting to really think about even more now even though it's a day on now and I really hate myself for it. Like I genuinely feel like a bad person. I've really been trying hard lately to stop hating myself because I've had a lot of struggles with my mental health and also aspergers and have made no friends at uni and really started to feel useless and started to hate myself because I feel like people don't like me and that I'm not a nice person to be around. I have really been trying to be kind to myself but when I do something like that I genuinely feel like I don't deserve it. I've been trying to meditate and work on being positive and have really struggled recently and have been feeling suicidal and I feel like I am maybe an extremely unpleasant person and will never be nice to be around in social situations. My whole life people have found me weird and said that I laugh at everything and I felt really isolated and have had unhealthy relationships with 80% of the people I've know and I don't know why I'm like this. I always think that I am being nice but I never am and I feel like I can never change even though I desperate want to and thought that I have countless times. | aspergers |
Didn't feel too painful, at least from what I can remember. I know it's just a dream but I could still feel the bullets puncture my belly. I remember falling over and feeling that slipping away feeling.
I don't know what to make of it. I didn't feel too scared, at least not that I remember.
I think a lot about how to die. Mostly about what comes after. That's what keeps me from committing suicide, what comes afterwards. It's just too unknown.
I don't know why I'm making this post. I guess I just wanted to tell someone | depression |
I learned, just recently, about the history of Dr. Aspberger. I knew that the term had been dropped from the DSM-V but didn't also know that, essentially, Aspberger was a likely Nazi. I'm torn because I've always felt that Aspie/Aspberger's describes me to a tee, much more than ASD-1. Clearly this sub is not named ASD. How do other people feel about this? Can/should we still use terms like Aspie? Does anyone else feel disconnected from ASD or am I just being...well, an Aspie about it? | aspergers |
Hi! Anyone here struggling with relationship-related OCD? Like compulsive thoughts about (not having) feelings for your significant other, constantly questioning your compatibility etc. There’s a lot written about ROCD online, but I’d really love to get in touch with someone who can relate to me. Because, honestly, I’m in the best relationship I could’ve ever wished for, but it just feels like my stupid mind does not allow me to enjoy this. And that sucks bc when my thoughts are not taking over, I do know that I love her. | OCD |
It's weird. I can use the word rape in every other context other than my own assault.
I was in therapy and my therapist brought up how I used to call it "the event" or something vague. I felt I had made progress finally admitting it was an assault. Then a sexual assault. Typing that even seems uncomfortable but I can do it.
For some reason though when she asked why I have never called it what it was/is I didn't even notice until she tried to get me to say it.....and I couldn't.
I just sat there and felt like my brain had turned off trying to find the word....or maybe avoid the word?
I felt like I sat there unable to grab that word for 5 minutes. I think it was probably only 1...but still too long.
I realize now I do avoid that word above all others....but only in the context of my assault.
I can say it in any other context. Weird example: "I heard in this fantasy story that the Half human Half Orcs were only made through rape." I could easily talk about it. It was just a conversation about a story.
​
But when it comes to me I can't say it. | ptsd |
I took my first dose of only 10 mg about 4 hours ago. I just now started feeling strangely energized, almost like I'm on a mild dose of adderall. Has anyone else experienced this? I really dont think its psychological, and I am well aware that it is supposed to take weeks for the drug to physically build up/activate in your synapses, so idk. I'm not on anything else, not even caffeine. I do occasionally take rizatriptan for migraines, obviously my doc knows about this. I haven't taken the rizatriptan in a few days tho, but I wonder if that could be related? Any thoughts would be much, much appreciated as I am a bit nervous. | OCD |
I have exam for which schedule is unknown . I am emotionally numb. I am unable to study due to accelerating pandemic in India. I have severe executive dysfunction . I do not know what. I am aimlessly scrolling through social media . My future depends on this exams .please help . It is one of the toughest exam in my country. | aspergers |
I have comorbidities re: mental health stuff (extreme anxiety + depression) so I know the way everything mixes together is a part of this, as is the fact I treat my body like garbage (due to a mix of all the above mental stuff) but I'm curious as to whether this is also an ADHD thing since I *know* it's a depression thing.
I'm just so tired. And I feel like my body chooses when I get to sleep, it isn't really up to me. Yesterday I slept from 11 AM to 6 PM, and then again from about midnight to 5 AM. Then I spent 2 hours fucking around in bed before finally getting up and having breakfast, and now I'm already feeling like I could go back to sleep.
I dunno how I'm supposed to get anything done like this. I know it would help to get on a more regular sleep schedule and I keep telling myself, okay, if I wake up early and just power through the whole day, and then crash at like 8-10 PM, I'll reset my sleep schedule and even if I end up crashing for 12 hours it'll be okay. But I can never actually do that because either a) my body starts shutting down mid-day and I *have* to take a nap, or b) almost more annoyingly sometimes I get a second wind right around when I want to go to bed and then if I try to sleep I just lay awake for ages instead, so I wind up just staying up super late.
Kind of a long ramble, but mostly what I'm asking for is if any of y'all have had success combatting fatigue, and what has worked for you re: figuring out and maintaining a regular sleep schedule. I don't work regular hours (I have a part time WFH position where I can work pretty much whenever I want) so I don't have anything forcing me to be up at a specific time which makes it *really* hard to convince myself to be up at reasonable hours. | ADHD |
I only recently found out about it, but I want to experience it, and because I know I can’t just make it happen, I want to know if it happens or if it’s already happened. I’ve been able to complete an entire video game in one day, but I’ve taken breaks in the middle, so my attention wasn’t 100% on it. Also, is hyperfixation a fragile thing that can be broken if you just think about it?
Sorry if this post is too wordy btw | ADHD |
I can’t stop obsessing over my health. Am I too skinny, am I getting enough protein, did I get something from my patients, am I eating enough? “Oh no I’m hungry that means I must’ve lost weight” “I’m too skinny” :/ I’m malnourished. It’s so frustrating. I work 12 hour shifts and I literally don’t have time to get breaks. I’ll eat a snack while I’m charting but that’s about it until I get home. At least some of my other ocd themes have chilled a bit for now. | OCD |
Today is already just such a special day for me. I actually have the energy and motivation to do things today. I got up and brushed my teeth. And so far Ive also went out and ate a wonderful breakfast. I cried while there just because I feel like today is actually the day that I take my life back. Not another fake out day like so many times before. I can't even properly explain but I just haven't actually felt happy in this way in such a long time now. And to think about a year ago I was minutes away from ending my life. I'm going to cherish things memory for years to come. Well anyways that all for my random rambling lol. Just felt like sharing. | ADHD |
I was diagnosed with OCD-depression-anxiety just over a year ago. I was prescribed meds(SSRI) and went through psychotherapy. After 8 months of weekly therapy, i was way better. I was able to concentrate better, perform perfectly at school, and my relationships got better. I was generally better in all aspects, but i knew i was not cured, obviously. I had to stop therapy in August 2021 because my therapist was leaving the clinic, and i took that as an opportunity to reflect on my own. Things went well actually, until a few weeks back. I stopped studying. I did all my tasks just a few hours before their deadlines. I didn't even care if they were done properly, or if i even submitted them. I started a music club at my university and i sometimes don't even feel like going to the meetings.
It felt like this is the heaviest depressive episode since my days at therapy. But what's weird is that this time i am genuinely angry all the time, and any minor inconvenience just triggers me. I am usually a calm person, one i get angry at something or someone, it usually lasted less than an hours until getting calm again. But this time, it's different. I haven't experienced being this mad at the world, and mad at myself for not being productive. I am staying in bed all day and starting to feel numb apart from the anger.
I'd like to read your opinions. | depression |
Hello everyone - I wondered if anyone ever tried something like an OCD-buddy to help and support each other through themes and compulsions and such? Did it work out for you? Any experiences?
... And anyone maybe interested in this model? I find that doing ERP’s on my own is incredibly difficult | OCD |
I’m so very burnt out. I need a break from my family but I get lonely. I just want to meet people my age to be friends with irl. I have online friends but I need some real interaction. I’m told to put myself “out there” but I don’t know what that means or how to do it. I’m a full time caregiver of 5 years now. My mom has MS and I want to call her lazy because she doesn’t do her excersises but I think I got my autism from her. She seems high functioning as well and maybe has burnout issues but never the less I’ve stopped enabling her and am forcing her to sink or swim. She keeps bringing out the crocodile tears to get me to do things for her that she’s perfectly capable of but it’s exhausting to do. She throws temper tantrums when she doesn’t get her way and they resemble autistic meltdowns. She’s just so exhausting. I’m tired of my family. I’m tired of being alone without friends or a girlfriend. Tired of being a virgin. Depressed and burnt out. I just hurt everywhere. I have developed an eye twitch over the past month from my mother’s tantrums. I’m too nice and I hate seeing her struggle but she’s cried wolf so many times to get her way I never know when she really needs help or when she’s manipulating me into doing things for her that she’s perfectly capable of. I look at my mother and my sister and how they treat my father and I and I can’t help but think. “Is this what women are like?” I hear my friends in relationships complain. I see it with my mom and sister how they manipulate men. I fluctuate between bitter, depressed, hopefully optimistic. But I just. I hate being alone but I also don’t think I can handle women and their mind games. I just want peace. I want this twitch to go away. I want to sleep forever. Now I’m rambling.
My formatting is crap so my apologies for the wall of text.
I’m just so tired. I don’t even feel anything right now I’m mute and just filled with despair and misery.
It sucks because I don’t know what putting myself out there in a covid world looks like. But I just have the sense I can’t do it. I can’t make friends or find a girl. I don’t have the mental energy or the social ability. But then do I forfeit my right to complain? If I know what I have to do but give up because I’m too anxious or too burnt out ect. Then I’m just doing exactly what my mom does when she refuses to do her exercises to prevent atrophy. I feel guilty complaining about my misfortune when everyone else seems to go out and make their own luck.
But I also think complaining and venting are therapeutic. So maybe it’s okay to vent to flush the toxins out. Idk
I’m going to bed. I’m not proofreading this and I’ll probably delete it in the morning. Ramble ramble | aspergers |
Got kicked me out of medicine. Studying was hard with my condition. I am 31 yo male and I'm trying to figure out what to do next with my life. I'm only a 1,7m skinny-looking guy.
What position would you recommend to someone who has ADHD? Shooter? Pilot? Or it is better to stay away from this kind of job?
How about being a policeman? | ADHD |
I saw an disturbing album on Wikipedia. I know, I know, it's Wikipedia. But I don't think it should be allowed. So I reported it but I still feel disturbed and like I'm some kind of criminal. Never even saw the whole thing but still. Even though I came across it by accident, I still feel disturbed. | OCD |
I am having to have my boyfriend go to the store to get a pregnancy test. I really hope I am sick cause I can't take care of a child. yesterday was the first I had a shower in days. I am flat-out broke and in school. I am gonna have to deal with my family making me feel like I failed my whole life. This isn't fair I hope the test is negative..... | depression |
i can't really drink too often due to meds, so is it normal to be on a party without drinking? or is o5 weird to be around poeple who are drinking, when you don't? i don't want to be a burden to them, but also i don't want to miss out:( | OCD |
Almost 29, divorced (because I'm awful at life), then lost GF (because I'm awful at life). Lost a job. And here I am, broke, with almost no friends and perspectives. Could have a good life, with a great wife and maybe kids and good job, if only, if only I could make any effort.
I've been through so many bad feelings, insecurietes and thoughts. I've made so many mistakes. Small and huge mistakes. And I'm just simply tired. I wanna cry, but somehow I can't. I'm an alien on this planet and I truly, truly want to die.
I hate the fact that my parents are great because I know how much it would hurt them to learn I killed myself. It would truly break the family and put my parents into depression.
But I simply just don't want to live. I'm too tired, too stupid to learn and not willing to work 8hrs/5days for the next 30 years, especially with my low wage perspectives. The loneliness is killing me.
I can go to doctor and he will prescribe me some pills, but they will just shun my true feelings and true view of my situation.
I'm just so sad about my life. I honestly think about causing some accident with my car, but what are the odds I will die, and not just cripple myself?
Just tired. | ADHD |
The problem is that Autism is treated as a spectrum to the point where a lot of people have ASD that is not diagnosed, not to say that everyone has ASD per say. But this is where the theory comes from, because the word "Spectrum" sounds so broad, it comes from being very disabled to being in almost normal state of mind. I don't know how else to explain it though.
I hope my explanation is good.
It's just people who are not medical professionals can even ask themselves if they are normal or not and when they hear the word "Spectrum", it to them must be that everyone has it just a little bit of the trats, while only 1% of the general population have actual mental health and developmental disorders.
I hope that I am correct, I am trying to be accurate about the problems of the word "Spectrum" and why it sounds too broad, because symptoms of ASD can go from very severe to very mild that it reaches to normalcy.
I am sorry, I didn't mean to say that everyone has ASD, I just have problems with the word "Spectrum" and how too broad and confusing it sounds to non-educational professionals. | aspergers |
I have a fear something bad will happen and I won’t have any emotions to it sometimes I don’t cry over a guy iv liked or I keep analysing every emotional reaction I just think I won’t have the boy crazy feeling I did before or I won’t feel loved or be able to be in a relationship because I’m “faking” my feelings and emotions for the person ? | OCD |
Does anyone else have/ had it? I was bulimic for bout 12 years | aspergers |
I’m having an especially bad day with constant intrusive thought. If anyone is willing to reply with something positive you did today or something positive that happened to you I would greatly appreciate it thanks (: | OCD |
I’m not sure if this is a compulsion/defense mechanism or part of recovery but.... I used to think I was a good person. Now because of ocd and constant real event memories popping up, I feel like a bad person. But at this point it doesn’t even bother me? I’m just like... yeah I’m probably the worst person ever. It somehow lessens my anxiety just to accept that I’ve made so many terrible mistakes in my life & I don’t have to uphold this perfect image of myself/who I want to be. | OCD |
It’s mostly my mom who tries to hug me. We’re not a very touchy feely family in general. We don’t talk about feeling, stoic is the mood. So when my mom comes in for a hug while I’m sitting, I will usually hunch over farther than I am already. If I’m standing, I will sometimes(not always) straight up dodge and walk away briskly.
This feels rude to do, I’m sure she notices but doesn’t understand. Probably thinks I’m mad at her, but I’m not.
I just have a natural physical reaction to awkward hugs, like repulsed, like my boundary, my bubble has been breached.
Anyone else?
Any advise?
My idea is to send a text to explain it gently(we communicate well via text) | aspergers |
When you’re diagnosed with something like ADHD you’re given a label as to why you’re not like the ‘average’ human. You’re then given medication, therapy etc to help you fit into the mould of how an ‘average’ human functions and behaves on a day to day basis just so you can manage your life better on this earth that demands ‘normal.’ You’re basically being told “hold on you’re not normal, but don’t worry we can fix that for you.” Instead of “we’ve accepted that this is what you struggle with, what can we do to help you live your life just as you are without having to train yourself to be something you’re not.”
Does anyone else think this too? | ADHD |
One of my compulsions is checking the order of things such as items in my room, things in drawers, etc. I check over and over and over. Does anyone else experience this? Bonus points if you’ve figured out how to go about fixing it | OCD |
I just wanted to come on here to say thank you for all of the love and support you guys have been feeding me these last few weeks. I have really been struggling (and probably posting wayyy too much) and y'all have just been amazing.
Also - small victory - I had a panic attack and canceled my first therapy session, then a breakdown about that, then instead of giving up or spiraling out or self medicating... I went to the doctor, got back on SSRIs and reached back out to a therapist. I'm not going to say I'm proud because that feels gross but I feel like y'all will understand this. And also, I just wanted to say I credit you guys for me getting back out there. Being here and watching all of you grind it out everyday is so inspiring. So really, thank you all. Whether we talk or not, I see you and your presence makes a difference. ❤️ | ptsd |
I want to know if you guys have recommendations for your best tips that serve your daily add issue.
Like I have a backup portable charger.
I leave a debit card with 0.00 in my glove compartment for the many days I forget my wallet and I zelle myself from one account to another so I can get gas that I forget to get even with the warning light reminding me for almost a day 1/2.
I have a few planners I use, and calendars.
I use different color sticky pads at work to remember things
I use colored folders.
I’m trying to see if anyone here prefers an iPhone over an android or vice versa.
And any cool tips you can share with me that make it easy to navigate through life….
Maybe just one.
I’m recently diagnosed | ADHD |
cant even get myself to stand up anymorw i hate this | depression |
My parents have been wrong constantly over the last few years one of these things caused me to think that the school bullies weren’t out to get me which caused me to let them bully me in various plsychological ways which has left me with trauma and mental issues to this day then they act like my Asperger’s don’t exist unless it benefits me or them outside the family | aspergers |
I was diagnosed with ptsd in 2017. Around that time my doctor prescribed Prazosin 2mg nightly. At first it worked but eventually stopped working. I did some EMDR with my therapist and felt like I was moving past it. Then all of a sudden the flashback nightmares and fear of going to sleep came back. While I was on vacation in a legal state my brother in law suggested I try weed and it worked. I didn't get "high" but I didn't have the flashback nightmares anymore. I would smoke around midnight right before sleeping and wake in the morning feeling better than ever. I did this pretty consistently for a couple months. Now I have to stop smoking because I live in an illegal state and someone has threatened to call CPS saying I smoke around my 2 year old kid and put him in danger. I always did everything in my power to make sure he would not see, smell, or be affected in any way by what I was doing. Because of these threats I have decided to give up smoking and just wanted to know what other people do to stop the nightmares. I am still in therapy and attempting to work through my issues but nothing seems to be working. Thank you all for your time and thank you for reading my wall of text. I appreciate the help | ptsd |
I've had an OCD from 9 years. I never know my disease was OCD but I knew that few months ago as my symptoms got matched with OCD. My OCD is too much now. My mind thinks of many unnecessary things multiple times everyday and gets me into stress. I do a lot of compulsions everyday which my mind tells me to do. I know OCD is a lie but still i cannot control it. I try not to focus on those thoughts but still my mind does. I am in big big trouble. If I hadn't OCD in my life, i would be able so happy.
I wanna get rid of my OCD.
If you have cured OCD through any methods, please suggest me those. I am curious if meditation helps. Or should i visit psychotherapist? | OCD |
Whenever my friends tell me about something funny that happened when they were kids, or when they talk about their old friends and old hobbies, I realize I don't have any good memories from when I was around that age. Playing around, exploring my interests, being able to be naive and carefree - I didn't get to have any of that. A lot of the time, I find myself being frustrated by children and teenagers acting like, well, KIDS. I'm angry, not at them, but at the fact that they were spared and I wasn't. Maybe that makes me selfish, but I can't help but grieve the person I could have been. | ptsd |
I was prescribed Wellbutrin 150 mg in addition with my Paxil 40 mg. I’ve been taking Paxil for about a year and it’s worked well for me but lately I’ve been feeling extremely down and just wanting to lay in bed for days. So now I’ve been taking the Wellbutrin for a week and a half. My anxiety is terrible, my chest feels odd because the anxiety, I have uncontrollable shakiness of my hands and mouth, like tremors or jitteriness. I also can’t sleep except for a couple hours, then I’m awake for a couple. It’s just too much for me. Can I just stop taking it? I know withdrawal symptoms are a thing but I just don’t know what else to do. I’m seeing my doctor in a couple weeks to follow up about it. | depression |
I’m just so tired, just got rejected by a girl I’ve known for years, I have a shit load of family problems, I’m overweight and I have a pornography addiction. Ive tried to get help and many people at home and school told me to get help but nothing works. Overwhelmed by life and I personally feel that if I weren’t here everything would go away | depression |
The past few years my depression has gotten worse. I went to uni but failed, move back home and changed uni's. The change helped me tho as I got the academic help I needed to pass my degree. But it was always a struggle to do work, and now for the past year or 2 it's been a struggle to do anything, from watching tv to getting out of bed. I'm trans, I came out to my parents but they weren't accepting but they weren't negative about it they kinda just seem to ignore it and because I can't afford to more out or start transition nothings changed. But that's been around 5 years | depression |
When I first found out I was autistic it was a giant sigh of relief, FINALLY. Finally all those things that were confusing were clear.
The realization that ASD is 'incurable', also became painfully clear. So many dilemmas to navigate through. Stigma, shame, and the fear that even though I know what's 'wrong' I will never possess the skills to fix it. Failure.
I've learned to embrace myself fully, as I believe that is the only road to true happiness.
What I've learned!
- if you needed help you absolutely have to ask.
- self-preservation and self-care is invaluable.
- educate yourself! There's always more information being discovered/discussed everyday.
- educate those around you whom you value.
- rejection gets easier with practice.
- you are not the center of the universe, no one is.
- you can't save the world, but you can carry the torch to light the way for those like you.
- perfection is impossible, and it should be! In life you should strive for a balance between good and bad.
- the world is evil. 50% of the people in the world are going to make a negative impact on your life, this is to be expected. If you're a good person, the act of your existence in spite of the world is beautiful ❤️
I apologize if this comes off as FaKe wOkE or "obvious", but the choice to embrace these things has helped me more than I would ever have expected. The bulletin that's made the most impact is : Rejection gets easier with practice. It's understandable to be fearful, but real courage is knowing something terrifies you, and facing it regardless. If you feel as if you are the embodiment of failure, than what is there to lose? More importantly, what is there to gain?
The only thing you should ever fear is regret. Ask anyone who knows their life is nearing it's end. They usually say that they regret not doing the thing they wanted to do, for themselves. For their own happiness.
I hope this helps anyone half as much as it's helped me, thank you for taking the time to read my post:) | aspergers |
I have PTSD that's constantly triggered because I have no way of getting away from my abuser for the next 12-14 years, and I'm always looking for ways to lessen the impact the continuous trauma has on me.
So this week I started using self administered EMDR on youtube, which is just a green light with an electronic sound as it goes back and forth, and I have had a really good week when it comes to mental health.
I have to have email contact with my abuser because of my kids, so as soon as I'm done replying to him, I open up the EMDR video.
Heres the link to the one I use.
https://youtu.be/DALbwI7m1vM | ptsd |
So I'm a college student with very hard coursework with lots of work. I'm trying to do self done ERP; therapists are expensive, I want to do it myself, and it eould.involce too many hard discussions with my parents. My dad knows that I have a case of ocd, but I haven't told my mom the full story though I've told her I have something going on. I basically have a case of mild to moderate pure O, and the exposure sessions are difficult because they are mental. You haveto dig in your head to find the things that scare you, and get to a point where you're scared and stay there. That takes time. It can take hours. It's a tall order for a busy man like myself. The sessions do work really well and make me feel much better, but I cant get a permanent upward climb if its not regular. So basically I'm not sure what to do. Even in summer I'm busy travelling with people. I am afraid of never getting out of this. If this keeps going I'll eventually lose my interests and my good grades. To anyone who's busy but is undergoing ERP, how. do. you. find. the. time? Any suggestions here could literally save my life. I'm far from severe but I could see it going there. | OCD |
I've always felt kind of solo in this. I have very limited things I like. Everything else I hate or haven't had in over a decade. When I was younger we had family meals and I was just forced to eat whatever was on my plate. Otherwise it would be yelling and crying, so it was a lot of yelling and crying. The biggest I remember is steak. It was either too tough and hurt my jaw, or had gravy, which is a texture problem. I was told often, "this is chicken, you like chicken," with meat, or "you like x and ate it last time." So now I can't name meats and I don't know what I like outside of unhealthy foods, chicken, and turkey.
And then it's so embarrassing being honest about this with anyone else, because it's crazy a 23 year old eats such limited amount of foods.
Apparently it's not my mom's fault because my brother was picky so we need to cater to his needs/wants and only his.
Sigh.
I hope I can put this here, I heard being picky is common with ADHD and I feel alone in this struggle. | ADHD |
What's the point of waking up everyday and have the same lowly thoughts circling inside the clusterfuck thing that is my mind.
Weekdays, weekends it's all the same. I am undergoing treatment and the best I have felt during this time is literally nothing. Beats the terrifying lows I guess.
But now even the meds are being dialled down. Because clinically my psychiatrist thinks I am better today than I was when I first came in. But what has actually happened is I am tired of talking about the same things with my psychiatrist and just want to complete each follow up for the sake of it.
What's even the point of it all? Maybe I have improved but still the lows feel painfully low and the highs are just meh.
Tomorrow marks the beginning of yet another miserable week about which I can do absolutely nothing.
Happy Sunday, I guess. | depression |
Since last year I have been learning how to program, I'm not diagnosed with ADHD but it's obvious at this point.
I used to pick random tutorials and not finishing them up and else, so I went to my college library and took 3 books.
Today I finished one after 3 days, at first I wanted to finish it in 1day but well.
Now I will practice with my pc and read the other 2. I wanted to practice but I felt asleep so xd.
At least I'm doing it idk | ADHD |
it feels like a fucking creature sitting on my shoulder that tells me what to do and the consequences of my actions that i cant get rid of. just constantly talking to me, berating me, bullying me. i just want it to leave me alone. | OCD |
Newspapers seemingly love to describe murderers and deviants as autistic. For example, Jeffrey Dalmer, Jake Davison, Steve Kish. People are saying Eliot Rodgers had autism.
I'm absolutely sick of it. It makes me think that criminal people are being mis-diagnosed. Maybe even people who aren't autistic are mimicking symptoms to be treated by the court system and by society differently.
People used to pretend to be schizophrenic, manic depressive, delusional, psychopathic etc to get off on crimes. I wonder if some criminals have now started to say that they are autistic as a way of getting off?
I am not autistic, but I am close to an aspergers individual and I love them very much. It makes me mad when autistic people are getting a bad reputation in the media, it doesn't seem to make sense that there would be this many criminal autistic people. | aspergers |
I just got diagnosed a few minutes ago.
Ocd with theme of Psychosis/Schizophrenia.
I dont know what to say. I just had a need to write this.
I dont know why.
Love you guys!
EDIT: Thank you all for support guys!❤ | OCD |
I'm a massive overthinker and it's really gotten worse the last few years but it has always been there. The times when I don't overthink are the times when I do the best creatively, academically and also emotionally. DAE overthink here? | aspergers |
I really dont know where to begin with this honestly. ADHD and Depression is a nasty combination and it seems that every time I take a step forward I take two steps back.
I'm in my late 20s and I still struggle daily with normal function and routine, and several medications later and no luck. Literally everything has been a problem.
I finally broke down today after being out and having a good time with drinks. I accidently said something near the end of the night I shouldnt have to someone (I genuinely cant recall what I said) but ended up being thrown out after multiple people getting in my face.
I thought I was finally past blurting things out or saying something I shouldn't and I feel so let down by myself. This time its hurting worse than usual though. I desperately want to be a good person. | ADHD |
I am 35 and was just recently diagnosed, so I have been looking at some of my behaviors with a new lens. One of the more disruptive traits I have is I almost always have some project I am obsessing over. Sometimes it engulfs months of my time like when I suddenly decided I was going to be a knifemaker and then spent months researching everything I could about the craft, researching everything I needed against every possible alternative, buying it, and even having 220v outlets installed in the garage of a rental home to power the stuff. I made 3-4 knives and then lost interest because it was no longer challenging, just tedious.
Or it can be a day obsession, like yesterday I wondered if a fidget spinner would help with my fixation of picking my cuticles when I'm not busy. I couldn't find anything that looked interesting to me and thought oh I know...pocket knives are good fidget devices. Of course, I have a dozen pocket knives...but no it needed to be a "fidget" knife. So, I spent several more hours researching and ended up with a 300 dollar spring-loaded automatic monstrosity that I tried to "fidget" with once while watching a movie and my girlfriend asked what the hell I was doing (it's loud).
These things always take precedence over anything else going on in my life, relationships, and jobs. I get anxious if I don't finish researching it which really just means coming to some kind of natural conclusion....unfortunately that usually means buying something I can't afford, or if it is more than a day obsession, potentially many things I can't afford. I don't even want to talk about the month I had to decide on a new sofa within a budget. this is all especially hard on my girlfriend when it is something that lasts days or weeks. Even when I'm not working on it I'm not actually present because I'm internally problem-solving aspects of it in my head. I'm self-aware enough these days to realize I'm doing (that was not always the case) it but it doesn't make the anxiety go down if I try to stop thinking about it. | ADHD |
This has been really eating me up for the past year. i took shrooms and i had this very dark feeling that something really bad was done to me as a child but my brain wouldn't let me unlock the memory no matter what.
I know for a fact that i was molested at age 11, but i believe something also happened when i was younger.
I can't remember anything before age 6- my brain has completely locked those memories up but sometimes i'll get a little flash of something that i think is an early memory but it feels more like a day dream that my brain made up to keep me safe.
I started watching porn and masturbating when i was 6 and i've realized that this is really not fucking normal. i can't masturbate now because of it. i feel so guilty and shameful. i don't even know how i found out about porn. i try so hard to remember how i found out but i'm just totally in the dark about that.
I feel resentment and anger a lot within the intimate bonds i've tried to maintain. A few times when i'm having sex i have dissociated from what was happening and got this dark feeling and i don't know why. It's hard for me to set boundaries and say no. i just get so scared and feel so weak
Growing up i went through very chaotic and unpredictable bouts of either being really promiscuous(even if i don't want to do stuff) or completely disgusted by sex. I am a pleaser when it comes to sex and i used to have these terrible fantasies about being borderline abused while having sex.
Gonna wrap this up because i'm definitely sharing way too much, but the last thing i wanted to say is that i have been diagnosed with a slew of mental disorders and have struggled with an eating disorder since age 12. sometimes i suspect it comes from what may have happened to me as a child but it's all just so confusing.
anyway, thank u to anyone who reads or comments on this. it really stresses me out and i just needed to get things off my chest | ptsd |
TW: Sexual Assault
I feel like I have to figure out a good support system, Bc I’m sinking back into feeling like I can’t trust anyone. I try to be open about being assaulted/ r**** multiple times and about my mental status, so that my friends would at least be aware when my moods change or I when I start to dissociate, but some of them like to use it against me in a negative way, and then I have to cut them off.
I was opening up to my friend recently about my family trauma and she even agreed that it’s a lot to process, Bc I had to go through my niece/ nephew/aunt/ uncle being killed at all different times of my life before I even graduated high school and then my first sexual assault happened my junior year of high school from my friends cousin who we all went to school with and I’ve been spiraling ever since.
My mother had to take custody of all my sisters kids and resulted in my childhood being taken away Bc I had to grow up fast at a very young age to help take care of her kids. I can’t express anything to my mother Bc she hasn’t felt like my mother in years, it sucks seeing her be a mom and having a relationship with my other siblings and my sisters kids. I try to express how I feel, but she punishes me, by saying I’m not depressed, my room being dirty is my own fault, when we moved she wouldn’t put me in the big room with the bathroom and walk in closet Bc my room was dirty... I literally cried and begged my mom to put me in there and as a compromise I’d go to therapy and get put on medication... she still put me in the small room upstairs. Everyone tells me just move out but they have no idea that it’s more easier said than done. I’m in debt due to an abusive bf and struggling to keep a job for longer than a year Bc my anxiety gets the best of me.
I get flashbacks at the worst times, some days all I can think about is the trauma, and how in a way it’s numbing. I feel like I’m not in control of my emotions and don’t know how to process them sometimes. It’s heartbreaking that I can’t remember the good times of my childhood or good times in general. | ptsd |
I'm 16, and all my life I've been slow, very forgetful and easily distractible. A lot of these symptoms sound like ADHD but I lack a couple symptoms. For example, I've never had trouble listening to class or getting distracted by anything other than my phone.
My parents don't believe in this sort of thing, and I'll look really stupid if I go to the psych and he tells me I don't have ADHD. I'll lose the little respect I have now. I have to figure it out before I go there. Do you think I can still have ADHD one or two core symptoms? | ADHD |
I feel like I can never really see a person 'as a person'. I'm never able to pull far enough back to see the whole person. All I see is details, which I think is what comes to hinder in forming relationships. If you can't get a good view of the full picture of a person, you'll just get lost in details that are not defining them specifically.
I don't know, I'm rambling. But I feel like I'm basically blind to people. I see obstacles in the street that I recognize are shaped like organisms that resemble people. Even when I get to know someone, my thinking is that I only know a fraction, and don't have enough data to get a complete picture.
Is it the lack of 'complete picture' that makes it hard to relate to people or 'see' them as 'persons' ?
It's like no matter how hard I look, I only see one detail at a time, but never the whole person. Does anyone else relate to this? | aspergers |
After taking adderall, I’m so tired that I could fall asleep. It’s like taking a Xanax for me. It’s great for my OCD-anxiety but pretty awful for being a functional human.
I’ve read only 3% of adults have this effect from it. If this happened to you, what med did you try that actually worked?
(I don’t have thyroid issues, period wasn’t the problem, I take multivitamins, eat before taking it, drink lots of water and get good sleep. It still zonks me out when taking it.) | ADHD |
I hear stories how they put you in asylums and stuff, an my last therapist was awful I don’t think she even knew what OCD was… I think I will just get a prescription | OCD |
Hello! Contamination OCD sufferer here. :)
Long story short, my OCD has been really well managed for a number of years now. I have had a bit of a knock back over the last few weeks with moving back to my parents' temporarily, changing jobs and just generally being a bit stressed out.
As a result of this, my anxiety is a bit high. Probably also as a result of this, I have had a small recurrence of a plantar wart on my foot (stress can cause your immune system to fluctuate which can cause the virus to resurface).
Unfortunately, warts were a HUGE trigger for my OCD previously, and I'm following the same trend this time, too. I'm worried about touching the thing, the whole floor feels contaminated, dressing and putting socks and underwear on is stressful.
I'm having the sucker treated, but I've also now started to worry about my hands, and any slight abnormality in my skin is cause for concern. I showed the podiatrist (they also treat warts elsewhere on the body) the ones I was focussing on at that particular appointment, and he didn't seem too worried - but now there are more and I feel like I'm spiralling here.
I have an appointment with a dermatologist on Friday which will cost me £150 if I go. If I knew it would help, I wouldn't even be that fussed about the money - but I'm worried that this won't actually put me at ease and will just be another form of seeking reassurance and then I'll end up having to see a derm every week about a new spot.
What do you guys think? Should I go to my appointment or cancel?
Occasionally I can talk myself out of the idea that they are warts, but the creeping feeling that I'm spreading them everywhere in the meantime is very difficult to shake. I'm seeing my boyfriend in a week too and I wouldn't want him to catch anything. :( | OCD |
It's 2:22 in the morning. Not to get into specifics but I have had the worst past 4 weeks of my entire 21 years on this earth.
I have gone through some absolute horrible times in my life. 2017 for me was one of the worst years of my life but this past month makes me wish I was back in 2017.
I can't do it any more. My family are the ones over the years to keep me alive because the thought of making them upset was enough to keep going but now I just don't see the point. I've come to the realisation that it won't get better, this isn't a fairytale with a happy ending.
When I look into the future all I see is nothing, just a black fog. The fact I made it to 21 is an achievement in its self and I'm proud of myself for making it this far, but I mentally and physically can not do it any more.
I really am not a religious person but hopefully when I die ill be at peace....all I want is peace.
I don't even know why I'm making this reddit post to be honest. | depression |
Mine gets so bad. It takes some fun out of drinking. It is really bad when I’m going to bed, because that’s when rituals happen significantly as it is. | OCD |
Before I start, I've been fighting HOCD for a long time (three years to be exact) and I'm at the point where I've almost won this mental war given that the urges are way less overpowering than they used to be.
I suspect my mom thinks I'm gay when I'm not at all gay, why you ask?
Today, when I was in the kitchen talking to my mom about random things my dad came back from the store and he started walking towards the kitchen.
I told him that me and mom were talking about what muzzleloader I was gonna buy with the money I was pulling in from work, he cuts me off mid-sentence and says.
"I know son, we'll accept you if you're coming out gay"
Before any of you get the wrong idea, my dad was just fucking around with me and believe me, he knows I'm straight.
I knew he was fucking around but my mom gave me a look of "I knew it" before I started joking around with him.
But other than this I just have a feeling that my mom thinks I'm gay, my dad knows I'm straight (he looked through my search history once before I figured out what incognito was)
Am I just paranoid because of the HOCD? Or is there something to worry about? | OCD |
I understand why but when speaking it’s not clinically correct to say we have Aspergers. We are now apart of the autism spectrum disorder. Which makes sense when you think about it.
Edit note (DSM-5 I meant) | aspergers |
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