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I’ve been diagnosed and working with a therapist for nearly 2 years now.
My biggest issue is sleep. I can go 2 weeks having extreme lack of sleep. We have worked on my coping techniques and starting healthy habits to help get me into a good sleep routine but still it’s the same cycle again.
Im exhausted. I feel on edge. I NEED sleep. I jerk awake thinking someone is going to get me or someone is breaking into my apartment. My hyper awareness isn’t at an all time high right now but I literally feel like sometimes I’m being pulled out of my sleep thinking someone is coming.
Any tips? My next session is this week and I’ll be bringing up how sleep is still a huge issue for me.
I use a white noise machine, weighted blanket, dark room, and try to cut out electrons 1 hr before bed. | ptsd |
I used to resist my ocd compulsions by making rushed promises to Christian God and maybe other Gods heard me instead if Christian God is not real.I was asking for punishment in case breaking those promises in order to use the fear of punishment to force myself not to do the compulsions. I never meant those promises. It was just a trick to scare my ocd and make it shut up because I thought that it was the only way to make it shut up.
Sometimes, these promises were popping up as uncontrolled or semi-uncontrolled thoughts in my head due to anxiety. My subconscious was using the trick of those promises to help me resist the compulsions. The trick of the fake promises was my ticket out of the compulsions. I have told God/Gods that I do not want to make promises and that I am doing them because of my ocd and that I would mean a real promise only if I validate by doing the cross 3 times (like a real prayer), if I understand what I am doing and if I really mean it.
I have suffered a lot about these semi-intrusive, intrusive promises. I have asked many times for all these promises to be canceled. Sometimes, I found myself in situations that I ended up having these intrusive thoughts about promises even if deep down I tried not to.
One day after many days of suffering and regret about this promises/punishment-deal thing, I was being forced by my ocd to do a specific compulsion in front of a church. The compulsion was (if i remember right) to do the cross sign 3 times, pray and finish my prayer with the cross sign 3 times again.Ocd was finding a reason to force me redo the same compulsion and was preventing me from leaving that street. I remember being tired of my ocd and having some intrusive or semi-intrusive thoughts of a rushed promise/punishment. That made my ocd shut up and I was able to avoid redoing the ocd compulsion.
That was 2.5 years ago. Yesterday, I was going to check an apartment that I was interested and randomly found myself on that street and from far away, I saw that church. I got worried and changed street because I remembered those intrusive (or semi-intrusive) thoughts of a promise that I had 2.5 years ago.
I worry because:
1) I cant remember what my rushed thoughts about the promise was. The purpose of the intrusive promise was to force myself NOT to redo the compulsion (cross sign-pray-cross sign in front of the church). I worry that I may have used some more generic words and instead of saying that I wont redo the compulsion, I may have said that I wont ever bother myself with that church again, which is something more generic. What if by randomly seeing that church from far away, counted as "bothering myself with it"? what if by writting this post I am risking it?
2) What if my thoughts about the promise popped up while I was doing the cross sign as part of the compulsion? I have said that I would only mean a promise only if I validate it by doing the cross sign 3 times, if I mean it and if I understand what I am promising. I was doing the cross sign 3 times but for a different reason. The cross sign of the compulsion is different than the cross sign of the validaiton. What if for some seconds, I rushly said the promise while finishing the cross sign compulsion? What if it counted as a real promise just because of the cross sign?
I do not remember my words but I remember worrying about a rushed promise. Maybe the thoughts of the promise popped up after finishing the cross sign compulsion. that scenario is safer. but what if those thoughts of the promise popped up while doing the cross sign 3 times (because of the compulsion)? I worry because I may have acted as if the promise may have counted.
So, I worry that 2.5 years ago, I may have had intrusive thoughts about a promise that popped up while doing the cross sign (as part of a compulsion) and that it maybe looked like as if I was validating it the promise, even though I was not.
I remember worrying about these intrusive thoughts but I cant remember what my words were exactly. As I said, the purpose of these ocd promises is to force myself not to do compulsions. The intrusive promise could have been about not redoing the cross sign compulsion or it could have been about not bothering myself with that church again (more generic). It could have also been about not returning to that church again (more generic). I cant remember what my intrusive thoughts were exactly. What if by randomly seeing that church for some seconds, counted as returning to it or as bothering myself with it? what if Gods considered the cross sign compulsion as promise validation? | OCD |
If you're allistic (non-autistic) with an autistic friend, parent, sibling, classmate, bf/gf, husband/wife, coworker, roommate, etc., and you see this, here's how you talk to and understand autistic people:
1. BE DIRECT. It couldn't be emphasized enough that when you talk to an autistic person, being very direct is the way to go. You don't just be direct, you sometimes have to explain in a lot more detail about how you're feeling, what you're doing, etc. Also don't expect them to pick up on abstract language easily either such as idioms or metaphors. Autistic people's brains are hardwired to not pick up on subtle cues, lies, or abstract language easily since they are naturally literal/concrete thinkers. On the flip side, as a result of this type of thinking, autistic people are often very honest, loyal, and trustworthy.
2. Know what focused interests and info-dumping means. If you go to an autistic person and see them spewing a long lecture about facts about their interest, don't just assume that they're "egocentric" or that they're "selfish". In fact, they might actually be wanting to be friends with you! When autistic people talk to other people that they're interested in, they usually drop the small talk and move on to the big talk since info-dumping to autistic people would mean conversation of substance rather than talk like weather, sports, etc. They would think that you would probably be fascinated in what they're interested in.
3. Be aware of sensory differences. If you know in any way that they're autistic, just ask them about what bothers them so you could be supportive to your autistic friend. Generally, autistic people tend to be more sensitive to things such as sound, light, texture, smells, temperature, and pain. Autistic brains take up an extreme amount of detail to the point where too much can turn into a meltdown. In fact, autism is sometimes called "intense brain theory". Don't take them to loud places without permission or force them to wear uncomfortable clothing or they could have a meltdown! No is no. When you ask them about what you could do to help them, not only are you being helpful, they would love to hear about it since it shows that you're being a good friend.
4. Don't suppress stims. Do not just think that an autistic person has the "mind or thought of a child" just because they use their fidget spinner or rock on a chair. You would just be pathologizing and stigmatizing autism even more by doing this. Stimming for autistic people is their unique way of expressing emotions and letting out sensory stimuli. Again, autistic people process sensory stimuli differently and emotions as well, so if you force them to suppress their emotions or sensory stimuli, there would be an embarrassing meltdown! For example, when an autistic person hand flaps or rocks in their chair after like winning the lottery, eating chocolate, or listening to their favorite music, the autistic person is most likely happy.
5. Don't mistake lack of eye contact for anything else. Just because they don't make eye contact doesn't mean they're "creepy" or that they have some secret agenda such as "becoming a school shooter". As in other points stated above, autistic people's brains are very often extremely detail-oriented and monotropistic which means that their tunnel vision is very intense so eye contact to them would be the sensation of getting stabbed. In fact, if you don't force eye contact upon them, in their mind, they're going to pay attention to you better.
6. Don't expect them to show emotion or tone the way you do. Autistic people may not show emotion or tone on their faces very often, so don't judge them as some "robot" or "psychopath". It's just that autistic people show it differently as previously said in number 4 that autistic people express their emotions through stimming. If an autistic person stims when they see you, they must be happy to see you! Autistic people even experience emotions very deeply. However, alexithymia is very common in autistic people though, but it doesn't mean they don't experience emotions, but they would just have lots of trouble recognizing what their own emotions are.
7. Don't assume that they lack empathy. Again, if they do not respond the way you guys do like through faces or words, they might just be reacting in a different way. In fact, an autistic person might even have hyper empathy. Keep in mind that autistic people can also have no empathy, but just like anyone else, they can have extreme empathy or no empathy at all. Usually, an autistic person might also seem to "lack empathy" while not actually lacking because autistic people have a very hard time relating to your experiences. Actually, this goes in both ways too. Autistic people have a hard time understanding allistic people while allistic people have a hard time understanding autistic people. This is known as the double empathy problem. Because autistic people and allistic people have massive differences in thoughts, interests, preferences, personalities, and more, it is often very hard for the two parties of mixed neurotypes to understand each other's experiences since their brains are vastly different. The way the double empathy problem can be broken down is by you guys asking autistic people about how they experience life while they ask you back about how you guys experience life. That way, even though you guys might not always relate to each other, you both could at least learn from each other's experiences and develop deeper connections.
To conclude this, the problems that autistic people have are not mostly as a result of being autistic themselves but because of society since autistic people are the minority and are expected to fit in. So the deal is if autistic people have to constantly learn how to understand you guys' way of interaction and thought processing, then you guys have to also learn about how you would understand autistic people's way of interaction and thought processing. Just think about how you guys would feel if you were the minority while autistic people were the majority. Therefore, we can bring peace to allistic and autistic people and end the crises that autistic people experience, and we can coexist peacefully!
If you're reading this as an autistic person though, tell me what do you think of this guide. Will it help? | aspergers |
I'd say I'm pretty good at written maths. I'm consistently getting the equivalent of a grade A in my maths exams and I'm going to take Maths and Further Maths next year. However, I literally cannot do maths in my head without paper or a calculator. Even something simple like 1000-10, I cannot do. The numbers just sit there in my head and refuse to interact. Half of the things I do I have to commit to memory and remember some kind of pneumonic to remember them. This was my downfall for years where I just assumed 6+7=11 because it rhymed, and when someone said "no, it's 13", I genuinely couldn't figure out what they meant until I counted on my fingers.
I know this isn't an issue with visualizing numbers in my head, because I have a really good ability to visualize numbers. So technically I could write out the sum in my head and do it that way, but it still doesn't work unless I can physically see it with my eyes. | aspergers |
most of my hyperfixations at my current age have been celebrities/people, while it was sports and activities when i was younger. before finding out i had ADHD, i felt so weird just because nobody else i knew got so hyperfocused on celebrities like i did. these hyperfixations generally last from a few months to a year, and then i move on to the next. have you guys had these? and if so, which people? | ADHD |
I just felt like sharing this, I hope it's okay.
I don't do much obvious stimming. Most of it is subtle stuff like tapping my fingers or rubbing my fingers over surfaces. I've rocked when deeply upset/having a meltdown several times, but I don't know if I've ever stimmed very obviously from excitement.
Well, I did today. I got so excited at the climactic moment for my favorite character in the book I was reading that I couldn't resist violently flapping my hands above my head. And it felt so freaking good. Over four thousand pages into this series, of investing into this character, and I couldn't find a better way to express it other than to pause reading and stim. It's kind of a new experience for me? And yet I'm happy about it? Still haven't worked out why yet, but that might be my alexithymia kicking in.
Anyone else ever take themselves by surprise? | aspergers |
I have a problem with fixating on food, eating and saliva. It just disgusts me. I can eat food as long as I don't have to spit any of it out. But let's say (and I'm gagging even typing this) that I have to spit a piece of chicken fat out. Something that's impossible to really chew. I have to stop eating, take the paper towel that I've spit it into, and put it in the trash far away from me. On top of that, I have to put another piece of trash on top of it (has to be a piece of trash that doesn't have ANY food on it. If it has food on it, it defeats the purpose.) I bury it so I don't have to see it the next time I I open the trash can.
If someone else is eating, the sounds mildly annoys me but it's fine. But the second they're done eating, I have to clear their plate. I can't see the remains of any food on their plates. Got forbid they spit something out. I have to take their plate to the sink and scrub it immediately. I can't have a plate that's been eaten out of anywhere near me. Same with drinks. If someone's done drinking out of a can or plastic bottle, I can't focus until I scrub it and recycle it. I also do this thing we're i think "I hope the bottle doesn't smell like food" but sometimes I smell it anyways, just to torture myself? I also have to clean the area where it was eaten, so like Lysol wipe the entire table. And it can't wait. I don't care if we're in the middle of a tv show, I have to clear up the plates immediately. And it disgusts me. I don't want to touch someone else's dirty plate. But I have to. Because nobody else is going to jump up and immediately clean their plates for me.
I think it's things that have to do with mouths in general. So, spit. If I see someone spit (especially on asphalt, where I can see it) I'll stare at it as long as I can just to freak myself out. I can't help it. And then I think about it for weeks, even months afterwards. I think about it especially when I brush my teeth. I think about what it would have been like if I had to swallow their spit from off the ground. And it doesn't make sense, because why would there be a situation in which I'd have to do that? But I think about it, and I fixate, and it's always in the back of my head.
Those are a few examples. Has anyone had similar feelings or thoughts? | OCD |
In relation to love disappointments: when people meet someone for whom they do not return feelings, because they don't want to hurt them, they usually say they aren't interested in relationships or that their sexual desire is low . My life experience says that when this happens, soon that person appears with a new "friend". This leads me to the conclusion that people aren't honest. For a neurotypical mind this will make sense, because for them, not disappointing the other is more important than honesty. For me, it would be much better if they were really honest, if they said straight away "you're not my type, you don't attract me". It hurts a lot more, it's being thrown to us a bucket of ice, but at least we're sure that's the end of it. We have the sincerity that allows us to move forward with our life. When someone comes up with the speech of lack of interest in relationships, at least for me, it only creates hope. If I strive to conquer, if I prove that I am deserving of their love, I will change their mind. It's a speech that in the long run ends up creating more damage, honestly. | aspergers |
It could just be me, but I'd suggest trying this if you have trouble focusing on work.
I've noticed that music helps me study/focus on work, so when I want my brain to know that it's time for work I put on the lofi 24/7 stream
When I want my brain to know it's time to take me time, whether that be gaming, coloring, or anything that isnt work/considered to be "productive" I put on my spotify playlist, with just my regular music
I guess it just tells my brain "okay this is what were doing for as long as you hear this" and honestly it works! I've been trying to figure out something like this but it just never clicked until now | ADHD |
Hi, I am about to start EMDR I was told it can be quiet a difficult experience. Has anyone been through it? Was it difficult? And do you have any tips? Thanks | ptsd |
Hi everyone 👋!
Trying to write a 10.000 word (philosophical) paper for school.
What I've done : I've read many books and have written summaries, associations, ideas about these books... I have (mostly digital but not exclusively) many different notes and docs. Tried writing outlines... Different ones... Tried uniting excerpts in different ways..
Now : I am getting lost in my own work ...
Question : How do I structure my stuff without getting overwhelmed??! How do I find the good stuff? How do I deal with all the stuff I wrote?
I've thought of printing out all the different notes, arranging them in some way (thematically? Or how else??) But even there i get lost.
I wrote a lot of good stuff (i think) but it's all over the place, both organisationally as well as thematically...
so in short : Help??
Greatly appreciated!!! | ADHD |
I’m like 99% sure I have ADHD, my close friends, exes, roommates all agree that I most likely have it.
But whenever I say I want to get diagnosed everyone asks why, why bother spending money on it or if its just to get drugs. I really don’t know what to say. It feels embarrasing to say that I’m barely functioning and I need help but I don’t really have a good reason to tell them.
What do you guys think?
Edit: grammar lol | ADHD |
I’m newly diagnosed at 38. I just finished 2 weeks on concerta which didn’t work as well as I’d hoped and the doc is switching me to adderall. I’m fine with meds if they help but here is my worry! What if my happy bubbly friendliness is because of the adhd, are meds going to take that away? The concerta did. It didn’t make me a zombie or anything it just way toned down my personality. Idk if it’s worth it if that’s going to happen. I’ve struggled all my life not knowing I wasn’t just lazy and dumb, but I survived and I stayed pretty happy and bubbly. I’d rather keep struggling than lose the basis for my entire personality! | ADHD |
Hello - I’m fairly new to using Reddit but figured this might be a good place to go. I was recently diagnosed with PTSD due to an abusive relationship that ended over 5 years ago. I’ve been struggling for a long time, and decided it was time for help. I didn’t think PTSD is what I had, but it’s so relieving knowing what it is so I can take the right steps to heal.
I guess I don’t really have a question, but will likely post any I come up with here.
I start therapy next week and I am honestly pretty nervous (a little excited too). I’m scared to relive that part of my life, but I know it has to be done.
This seems like a very safe space to be, and I’m sure y’all will be hearing from me again.
💕 | ptsd |
So sick of medical professionals having no clue about mental health issues and worse, being dismissive, skeptical and condecending when you mention it. Actual mental health doctor have been great but other medical personnel need serious education in how to interact with those suffering with any mental health issue. This should be a major part of the foundation education of doctors etc... And not just a specialty!
It is hard enough getting the strength and courage to ask for help without facing so many obstacles when you are struggling so hard to manage even the smallest day to day things.
I want to tell everyone here that I hear you, I believe you, and keep fighting until to get the help you need. Screw the people who dont understand. | ptsd |
I changed medicines during this semester (2nd year in college) and I kind of hit a rough patch. Backstory l: I am normally an all A and B's student. Occasionally I'll have a C here and there for an especially hard class. This semester tho I was doing better than I ever had. I was literally meditating everyday, finally saving money, working 20+ hours a week and doing well in my science courses. And because if this my self esteem was pretty high and my anxiety was pretty low.
THEN, I had to change anxiety medications because of a heart issue and that really threw a wrench into things. I got depressed and I slowly stopped getting schoolwork done. After about a month and a half I'm back on my old medication. (I just said fuck it) but now I am so behind I am so scared.
I LITERALLY WENT FROM REWRITING MY NOTES EVERYDAY AND GETTING THINGS DONE AHEAD OF THE DUE DATES TO FORGETTING ASSIGNMENTS AND LITERALLY NEVER WRITING NOTES.
I JUST CANT GET MYSELF TO DO IT. It's been really Taking a toll on me I've been avoiding thinking about it. It's bad. I actually have a final project due for one class and it's big. Please can someone give me some advice. I am on Thanksgiving break this is my opportunity to get some work done. But I'm still having such a hard time.
Please please please I need help. | ADHD |
I think i struggle with both. Can they be connected? | OCD |
You know when you say dont think of a pink elephant and all you can do is think of a pink elephant well for me its dont "tense your mind" but I cant help but tense it.
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Its like you know when you say dont resist an emotion and you know you shouldnt but you dont have any choice but to resist it, well its like that except I resist it all day, and I get this GRIP or STRAIN in the MIND,
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I cant stop it, any advice?
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To my offender
You do not deserve to live as free as you do
Considering I have been caged for over half of my life
To my offender
I flinch when my bestfriend hands me a lighter & my dreams still scare me awake. Nothing will, nor has it been the same
To my offender
From that single moment on, my life was changed forever
To my offender
You robbed me of my childhood & left me scared and ruined.
Why did you have to prey on my vulnerability?
To my offender
The system has failed me
& I do not want to see you anymore
To my offender..
I don't want to live at all if you're still around.
Are you happy?
Youve altered how i think and act and see my own reflection.
From a single moment on, my life was forever changed,
Like everything I previously knew had suddenly been rearranged. | ptsd |
They seem to be telling me I’m a trans person in denial why do they do this?
Now I’m even more stressed | OCD |
I am nearing my 30s and already have one divorce under my belt and I recently just got married a week before Halloween, (these triggers of suicidal thoughts and feelings) have always been there but tonight has hit me rough and hard I found my husbands phone and he downloaded tinder and messaged a few woman on there I confronted him but just to think that now I am married to this man who obviously doesn’t love me and we have kids together and this is my second marriage! Boy do I know how to pick them! Lately when I get too overwhelmed I want to just get in my car and drive to the nearest cliff and literally jump off, tonight has brought me closer to more thoughts of just offing myself. My family doesn’t even give 2 shits about me and neither does my husband, I’m convinced my youngest hates me too.. if I was gone would they really care? | depression |
Hi all,
I have PTSD, and I find it difficult to communicate my triggers to others intentionally. I worry that I may come across as crazy, angry, or accusatory when I explain or remind someone of a particular boundary or trigger. There is a person who frequently does something that is very triggering to me. I don't think it is done out of malice, but I think they forget how much it affects me. Does anyone have advice regarding directly, compassionately, and intentionally communicating your triggers to others? Whenever I begin to type a message to the person, I feel as if I will come across as crazy or ask too much. :( Thank you. | ptsd |
When I was young I used to think ocd was just being overly neat and tidy, now I've got it I know that its literally living hell. It feels like I'm constantly arguing with my brain and I dont deserve happiness. My past thoughts have literally only affected me but somehow my brain tries to convince me that im a bad person. I really don't know what to do anymore, I feel trapped inside my own head | OCD |
I was gonna take longer. But i cant. I need help dont know how. Bla bla bla. Trying to see if can post | depression |
Pretty much the title, my girlfriend left me because she was too stressed trying to support me and also deal with her own problems and now I just sit in the first flat we got together and do nothing all day. I can’t bring myself to care about doing anything so I just sit and get angry and sad. My university work is way behind and I barely feel bothered by it, I get flashes of panic when I think about how I’m screwing everything up even further but then it passes and I continue sitting in the dark waiting for something I care about doing. | ADHD |
Hi there, I was told by my doctor to take concerta on a full stomach. I have been taking it after my normal sized breakfast, and have still been losing my appetite for the rest of the day. Sometimes I get a headache and become very tired in the afternoon. I was wondering if by full stomach, it means I stuff my mouth until i’m very full, or if it just means do not take it on an empty stomach? Thanks | ADHD |
For the last couple years I have been obsessed with figuring out my mental health issues. I have issues with contamination (chemicals), just right as well as some moral and sexual obsessions. I also have some somatic and health obsessions. I have tried about 50 different herbs and other supplements. So far, inositol, Saint Johns Wort, quercetin, and anti-histamines have been the most effective. I cannot tolerate quercetin due to it causing low bp. Anti-histamines cause GERD for me.
I have been researching the connection between OCD and allergies and I feel that the root cause of the OCD is allergies. I have also been sampling a whole slew of antidepressants the last couple of weeks. I’ve tried Prozac, Luvox, Zoloft and finally lexapro. I’m on the lexapro now and it’s fine. The others had intolerable start up side effects but I feel like I’m going to tolerate the lexapro. I have gastric upset shortly after taking pill only.
My issues with all of this is if the allergies are the cause of the OCD, why am I taking an SSRI? Shouldn’t I be focusing on allergy cures? How much of this line of thinking is my OCD and how much is rational thought?
I have my first therapist appointment on Tuesday and I am going to just read this to him since I suck at communicating my issues.
Note: I have not been taking the ssri’s with Sjw. | OCD |
So basically I was 'stuck' a couple of minutes ago. I had to repeat the same action again and again all the time and the more I did it, the more it messed me up. How do you all block these repeating compulsive action chains? What worked for me sometimes was doing the action so often till I lost interest in it but it didn't work right now. | OCD |
At low dose it even improves erection quality and to a lesser degree libido, but WARNING prolonged intake of higher doses decreases libido, at least in my case. | depression |
Hi!
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I've never really ran into this issue before until now...especially since I've been getting older. I feel as it is so hard to open up to people about our OCD. I used to just keep it to myself, but now it has turned into almost a fear of keeping something from someone.
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I know with OCD, we make ourselves out to be the biggest monsters when in reality we are some of the best people. It is so hard to shake the devil on my back that keeps telling me I'm awful and don't deserve happiness.
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Does anyone have any helpful tips or advice? | OCD |
I can’t take it anymore. I’m 19m and I already feel like my life’s over before it even started. I don’t know wtf I want to do with my life in college. I have no friends or girlfriends. I’ve never felt so fucking alone and pathetic. Feels like it’s always gonna be like this. I want to change my life but I don’t know how. If things don’t get better I’ll quit. I’m so fucking tired. | depression |
So I haven’t had major problems in 5 months and I’ve always been feminine for a guy and lately I’ve been worried that I might be trans and I can’t tell the difference if I just like the idea of being feminine or if I’m trans. Idk y’all I’m freaking out at work. | OCD |
HELP!
Years ago I'd been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or OCD for short. Its been a miserable nightmare as these obsessions and complusions never leave me, they stick to my brain like a glue. I undergone medication with oral intakes and eventually helped my OCD disappear. 6 years later up to this present time, my OCD triggers when my compulsion disorder accidentally happens. To give you a picture of my OCD, my compulsion hurts me so much because I can't help myself from the habit of checking and touching. Unlike any other people with OCD, their compulsions are harmless and safe, and I dunno if there's someone who has similar compulsion as mine. If anyone has similar to mine, please share it with me and to others as well so you can help us mitigate and be cured from it.
Well, my compulsion is checking and touching the prongs of a plug of a particular appliance while the plug is connected to the electric outlet. Thus, tendency is, I will eventually be electrocuted, then my obssesive thoughts occur right after. But when the thoughts seem to me that it was not rightfully done, I repeat the process over and over until my obsessive thought are corrected and satisfied, that's the only time I can relax and go back to myself normally. Three weeks ago, my compulsion occurs again when I disconnected the plug from an outlet, the side of the prong accidentally touches my left finger, a mild tingling sensation of the current runs through it. I couldn't ignore what just happened but to think of it over. The following week, it urges me to do the same again, so without thinking twice I actually did it again but at that time, I really felt the actual shock on my left finger because right after I disconnect the plug from the outlet, I still got electrocuted with the electricity that remains in the appliance though unplugged, then comes next was the obsessive thoughts in my mind; thinking about how well my late dad is living at peace; I also got the obsessions thinking of his face and making sure that he is in good condition, happily living with God. But at that very moment, it seems to me that something in my thoughts was not right, so I was urged to do the compulsion again but doing so, I dunno how but I cannot bring the current back while the plug of an appliance was unplug, so I let it go...temporarily. The more I tried to forget my compulsion, the more it inhibits me to do it. This time, I'm still being tormented by the urges in my brain. I know its just a disorder, I can avoid the electrocution only if not because of my unstoppable intrusive thoughts, because they are working together hand-in-hand. The obsessions never leave me and the urges tell me to obey. I'm personally having a hard time to cope it, and the struggle continues in my brain. I'm in a distressful situation battling this disorderly manners everyday. Its almost became a mannerism as it seems because it turns to be a habit that made me do it over time. I want this OCD stop and fix whatever is needed to be fixed inside my brain. This is really a torture to anyone who wants to live a normal and happy life. I got the feeling of commiting suicide but I'm not jumping there yet, I need to seek for help first.
I needed your best advices, expert advices, effective solutions to this, and your help would be much and highly appreciated. If anyone of you battling OCD, specifically, the same story that I shared, please don't hesitate to share it with us too below the comment section. We can help each other combat OCD. We are not crazy, its just an OCD, not us. Just an OCD! | OCD |
I'm used to talking to people and never mentioning my issues. But it gets so overwhelming dealing with this stuff on my own. I can't stop crying today I'm so sad angry frustrated with my life.
I stopped SH for a while but started again today. I do not feel well. Having thoughts and seeing myself kill myself to end this horrible existence.
I can't stop overthinking, so many problems and nothing to really live for | ptsd |
Alright, this is something that has been troubling me and I needed to know if the rest of you have experienced anything similar. I ran into a person recently who I had a rather intense involvement with. Things between us had become violent and ended VERY badly. During the course of this, this person violated some very clearly laid barriers to consent. At the TIME, their behavior still seemed incredibly standard. Non-consent was no new thing for me and I had normalized it, and they also had a lot of anger at me for reasons I never entirely understood.
Flash forward a few years and I ,in a healthy and mature, loving, patient relationship for the first time in my life, run into this person again at a distance and am so OVERWHELMED with emotions that I cannot decide if I hate them, miss them, am experiencing regret or if I am still secretly in love with them. I suffered such incredible guilt for days and different scenarios played through my head; in which we talked things through, or made up, or got into an even bigger fight. it all felt so REAL, like I was living this thing that had not happened and feeling guilty because my conflicted emotions were tearing me apart. I was no longer sure if I loved my boyfriend, even.
I talked through my confusion with a friend for a couple of days, and during the course of it put together a rather unseemly attempt to violate consent that had back THEN gone unnoticed by me. Pieces started falling into place. I realized that I had yet again shaded the truth about his actions towards me and had not accepted them for what they were. The feelings were so intense I almost threw up, and as soon as I remembered and understood the part they played in my trauma, it was like I could no longer lie to myself. I knew at once how deeply angry and traumatized I really felt and all the fake "love" feelings, the "infatuation", the "nostalgia"......instantly vanished, and I remembered how much I truly love my boyfriend.
So my question to you all is this: do you get so confused about the intensity of feeling towards your abusers that you struggle to admit to yourself that you do not and cannot love them? Do you confuse your feelings of anger, betrayal, and trauma for romantic ones? This isn't the first incident of this kind, that's why I really need to know. | ptsd |
Hi.
You probably are wondering why you're reading this. Same reason I came to this subreddit. I just recently joined, even though I have been reading and commenting here for ages.
I just want you to know that you aren't alone. Rather it be OCD, POCD, OCPD, Health OCD, or what some other grouping of letters that you believe defines your life.
I've been living with OCD for as long as I can remember. Every day seems like a struggle in some aspect or another and honestly, there were times where I wanted it to end.
You aren't a monster because of what you fear, but rather what you chose to do with the almost unacceptable knowledge of "I could do this", "I could be this", "this could happen".
I just want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that you are loved, you are important, and most importantly, you are NOT alone. Everyone struggles, and some struggles are harder than others. Please, be kind to yourself, and know that whatever ails you has only the power you give it.
I've been medicated for years, and recently had a... "flare up" of symptoms and I find helping others helps me. So please, be kind, be supportive, and let people know that
YOU ARE NOT ALONE. | OCD |
I was physically, verbally and emotionally abused all my life till I ran away for college. My abuser was my brother. My parents were the enablers. I always felt guilty for everything and he destroyed every sense of self worth I ever had.
When I was molested by a close relative, I just kept my mouth shut because nobody would ever help me either way.
My parents are immature and my heart hurts for them because they were abused(not as much as me but no matter what nobody deserves any abuse). But talking to them brings out fresh anxiety in me. I will like its a quicksand and they will drown my life in it.
One day my brother will be back in my life and have the same power over me.
Everyday I have the same anxiety and I have vivid images of him coming into my life again one day and completely destroying it.
I want to believe it is not possible. But that black hole in my heart keeps making me feel like it will. | ptsd |
I’m pretty sure I’ve annoyed my therapist with my constant ramblings about what is going on inside my head | OCD |
I have no idea why I'm posting this here. I have no one to talk to about my depression but my dad (who can't understand me, but it's not his fault. He is a beautiful person).
This is the second time in the last months that I woke up and feel deeply lonely, depressed and anxious at the same time. I just don't know why.
I have not the force or the will to tell my whole story, it would take too much and nobody really cares.
I just needed to let it out somewhere and Reddit is the first thing that came up in my mind. Started crying without a reason (I have never been a guy who cries easily).
I have talked to my dad and he said "don't worry it's okay, we will do anything we can to fix this". He thinks it's because of an exam I have in few days. Maybe it is but I've never felt that way in the past. I've never got depressed because of an exam and I'm sure the exam is just the trigger, but there something more inside me. A monster who is trying to catch me and I'm exhausted of running and running and running..
I am thinking to seek help to psychologist.
I don't feel myself anymore, I am losing my identity and this scares the fuck out of me. Sometimes I have suicidal thoughts, but I always managed to "control" this really bad thoughts. I have no energy. I don't know why.
Sorry for my English, it is not my mother-language. And sorry for this post, I feel so miserable .. | depression |
T.W. molestation
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From the time I was 5 till I was 15 my older brother molested me. I never told my mom until I was 22 and when I told her I asked her to keep it between us. She went ahead the very same day and asked my brother about it and it just put me in an uncomfortable position. It was supposed to stay between us. Anyway I forgave him and moved on.
My mom kinda preached about me needing to forgive him so that was part of the reason I did it but I also forgave him because I could.
My parents ran a foster home and we had a kid come in who was 16 at the time he had fown syndrome and fetal alcohol syndrome. He molested my little sister a couple times (he was molested all his life) anyway he got sent away and he is the spawn of satan in my mother's eyes.
It's not up to me to say who we should forgive and who we shouldn't. It's also not up to me to convince anyone to forgive him. I just wanna know why it was important to forgive my brother who has all his faculties but not the one at a 6 yr old level.
Am I wrong for feeling hurt by this? I feel like I'm a bad person for even thinking it. What he did to my little sister was wrong but hes not all there. My brother was! | ptsd |
I dont how to start this post because it has been so long since I've written anything of substance but I will try my best. I had been cyber stalked for the past 3 years my video and audio were hacked and it all got shared throughout the small midwestern town I lived in my bank info was released within moments my privacy had been ripped from me. I became a laughingstock of that community they heard every personal and private conversations (I think out loud to aid in my thought process.) good bad and ugly they saw me naked made fun of me living in poverty I felt so exposed. Those people saw me at my weakest point in my life during a breakup I did not take well,I mean suicide levels of depression which only deepened when I learned the person I wanted to start a future was the same person who hacked me. I found it hard to walk out my door without wondering who had seen me online, what friends of mine engaged in it. Paranoia, anxiety, panic attacks would come on so frequently I quit my day job started working overnight and didn't leave my apartment for over a year. This coupled with the fact and that I was already dealing with PTSD due to childhood emotional psychological and physical abuse. Everything I worked so hard to overcome or block out all came rushing back and it overall broke me. I've since moved out of that town I'm back home I've recently gotten a new phone after several attempts at guarding my security the best way I know how but these experiences have given me trust issues paranoia and continues the self-doubt and low self esteem that was ingrained in me from childhood. I don't know how to overcome this so chase away everyone and isolate myself I don't even know how to relate to people anymore I know I need therapy and medication but my current mental state has left me unmotivated to succeed. I'm lost and tired and afraid | ptsd |
I have both ADHD and Aphantasia and I find it really hard to read. I physically can't bring myself to read more than a few pages unless the book has a good hook and I feel as though having a so called "mind movie" would help with grabbing my attention. If I do get farther into the book, it usually has too much useless detail in descriptions and I lose focus. I find more joy reading a physics textbook because it's more logical than visual. I used to beat myself up about not being able to read when my language arts teacher would assign a book for us to read at home. I was always the disappointment of our reading group in 6th grade. I can count on two hands the number of books I've read on my own. I always try to ask for good book suggestions, but no one I've talked to understands my circumstance. My uncle with ADHD suggests audiobooks, but it's just words and I get lost in a separate train of thought anyway. I love movies, but apparently "the books are sooo much better than the movie." I've pretty much given up hope at this point.
I didn't mean for this to turn into a rant and I went to the r/Aphantasia community for an answer, but I'm passionate about it and I want as much help as I can get. Does anyone have any book suggestions that would work for my situation? Any tips would help as well.
Thanks | ADHD |
Just got my diagnosis like 2 hours ago. I've been obsessing over this for so long, studying, preparing for my meetings, being SURE of myself and gathering strength to fight for it if needed. I even planned who I would tell, what I would do after I'm diagnosed etc.
But it all went so much smoother than expected. I feel none of the relief and even joy I thought I would feel, just emptiness. And I even feel almost like a cheater now, like I manipulated them into thinking I have ASD. I don't even want to tell anyone! This was supposed to be my big relief, a promise that I can stop trying to cure myself of "me", but I'm just sitting here wondering if it was all a mistake.
Anyone else had the same? Is this going to pass? Anything I could do to help myself? | aspergers |
This superstition was one of the early ways my OCD expressed itself. It didn’t cause it by any means, but it certainly didn’t help. I would hit the other elbow to avoid bad luck, but of course that wasn’t enough. I’d have to complete the left-right-right-left pattern, hitting my elbows a minimum of 16 times. Fun combination of symmetry compulsion and magical thinking from a very young age. | OCD |
I really just thought that i won. Or at least i was forced to believe that.
In 12 months. But, today life just told me the truth. I didn't.
I just started to remember how one person told me that i was a liar for saying about my accident. And then i just started to look what i said. And realized that in 20 days...its the year. And everything gone bad. The flashbacks. There was a long time since the last one. I couldn't control myself. I had a panic attack. I was alone, so i lost it.
My family wants that i say that the trauma is gone. That i am making myself believe that i still having ptsd, and that im joking with them. I-i just don't know what to say to them. I think that i just will shout my mouth and wait to my sesion with my doctor, in one month. They want that i end there, because im good and exaggerating. I hope that the doctor could help telling them that i not ready. That this thing still there.
But anyway. Sorry for the bad english. I needed to vent this...thing, and translate at the same time. | ptsd |
I have health OCD. I have constant intrusive thoughts about my health and inevitable death. I always think I’ll get sick with something and it ruins my day. How do I do exposure to get past this?? I know I should stop googling and asking for reassurance. But is that exposure therapy? I have no clue. 😞 | OCD |
I’m so glad I found this sub, hopefully some of you can help. So, for context, I was taking brand Adderall XR 30mg for the longest. It worked perfectly and I felt great. My insurance didn’t allow for the generic substitution but my monthly copay was $30, whatever. A month ago my insurance notifies me my copay will be more than doubling because they’ve “updated their tier system”, absurd. But, they do cover generic Adderall IR with much cheaper copays, also absurd.
I’ve been taking the generic Adderall IR 20mg twice a day for weeks now and it’s terrible. I feel distracted, unmotivated, can’t focus for shit, basically it’s done nothing for me. Has anyone experienced something similar switching from brand to generic? I’m concerned a dose increase won’t be that helpful considering how useless the current dose is. Any suggestions? or experience with generic Adderall IR and how it measures up to brand XR? | ADHD |
Does anybody else struggle immensely with papers? I feel like my brain just shuts down at the thought of writing one. I have zero motivation and it makes it so difficult. I’ve been trying to work on a paper that’s worth 30% of my grade and I only have 3 sentences. It’s also due tonight, with an already 3 day extension. I hate my life. Depression is inescapable and it’s so exhausting. I feel like such a failure all the time. | depression |
I've been talking to this girl for a few months and I've really grown to have a thing for her, and lately we've been gaming together with another friend and just randomly she'd call him and then stop playing, I care a lot for this person and I want them to be a part of my life in some capacity. I just feel like total crap when we are doing something and she just says sorry I gotta go or some excuse and then our other friend leaves and I get no response from her. Is this something other people have experienced and if so how did you cope with it?
Edit: I've also been helping her out and getting her dinner and ubering her a fair bit, and getting her gifts as this is how I show affection | aspergers |
Okay so I have depression, anxiety, ptsd, ocd, bpd and osdd, before my ocd became severe I was delusional and believed I could tell the future in my dreams, then I had a stress dream about my father and in the dream I thought he died and it was so vivid and terrifying and ever since then I've been messed up. Every day I think something I do is going to make it become real. I can't open doors, tap things, drink, eat, look at a place, touch or grab anything or pick something up, choose something, wash my hands or choose what to eat or drink without freaking out and getting stuck in a loop of distress and doing all of these stupid compulsions. Also, a thing that makes it worse is I get stress induced seizures. Extreme emotional distress makes me hage a focal aware seizure, and accompanying it is deja vu/deja reve. So I'll see something, freak out because I think I dreamt of it and now it is happening which causes even more distress and then I have a seizure And my compulsions get worse because I don't want my dreams and other obsessions to come true. And I am having a sunkist right now which is unusual for me because I don't usually like orange flavored fizzy drinks but now I'm feeling a lot of fear over that and I am so terrified something bad is going to happen and can somebody please tell me its okay and I can have the drink and nothing bad will happen, please. | OCD |
As said in the title, I keep trauma dumping on people I don’t know and friends. I hate who I’ve become and how I make them feel, but can’t seem to stop whilst I’m in an environment with someone who has harmed me. The person in question wasn’t nice and his behaviours were very similar to that of my abuser but nowhere near the same level. I asked for mediation to raise some issues and hopefully resolve them but he refused so the situation will never get better. Either I withdraw or remain triggered. I’ve just been triggered into a dark place and am now projecting and can’t get out.
Am I unforgivable for the harm this has caused? I fear I’ve ruined my life at my university for having done this. I’m getting help to hopefully leave these habits behind, but I feel such shame at who I’ve become. | ptsd |
I’m so over it. My parents have been divorced for two years and now my dad has what he thinks is a secret girlfriend. I just needed a minute where my life wasn’t changing but apparently this was too much to ask. Does it sound selfish to say that I just want my dad back. I am at such a low and to top it all of I’m finishing school soon which has been my one constant through everything. Is there anyone else who just never imagined themselves meeting milestones e.g. leaving school, getting married, kids etc?? | depression |
I work nights at a truck stop in the middle of nowhere. Customers are often chatty just because they're usually alone on long trips, this time of night. I usually don't mind it. But this guy comes in and is pretty friendly. We get through him buying his snacks just fine. But then he mentions his ex wife was in Iraq and came back with PTSD. He said "You can only handle that so long, ya know?"
I have PTSD from years of abuse from my mum. I know he didn't mean anything by it, but I'm constantly worried my partner is going to leave because I'm too hard to handle. This didn't help. | ptsd |
Hey guys, I have found myself stuck in this situation that I can’t seem to get myself out of.
For context: I’m a 16yo F, going to an accelerated school; I could be graduating in March or April of 2022.
My depression is heavily triggered by school. I find little motivation to do any work, and getting out of bed is extremely difficult.
When I was in 8th grade until I was a sophomore, I missed out on a lot of school because I was mentally unwell. The school I am attending now though requires attendance since it has only about 30 students. Going to school is difficult, and staying through the school day is even harder.
Recently, I have been unable to take mental health days from school, and I believe it’s because my parents think I’m using my illness as an excuse, and I just dont want to go to school. My mom has no history of mental illness on her side, while my dad struggles from depression himself.
The problem is I have lost all motivation to do my schoolwork. I’m falling behind in my classes, and it’s stressing out my parents. I suggested getting my ged instead, but my mom is frustrated by the idea that I would rather take a test than just finish up highschool.
My mom doesn’t support me getting my GED, but she’s not stopping me from getting it either. She refuses to unenroll me from highschool though (you can’t be enrolled in highschool in order to take the test here).
I just feel like im causing a lot of stress and frustration to my parents, and I’ve completely lost motivation to do anything with school.
Any suggestions? | depression |
I'm curious if this was the case for anyone.
Personally, I've tried different treatments including ERP for months and that has not worked out for my OCD and I end up having to focus on my other problems for therapy which improves a little bit. However, my OCD has not budge a bit and is probably worse than when it peaked for me. It would suck having tried various treatment options only for nothing to work. | OCD |
Hello,
Does anyone have examples of exposures for checking and contamination OCD? | OCD |
Recently after ranting to online friends a lot (because they're the only people i honestly have) i feel like everything is my fault. I realized how fucked up I am. Everything has gone wrong.
I've looked into mental illness after mental illness these last few days. Holy shit I've added like 5 more onto the list. Realized I'm a sociopath, and im a dick to everyone around me not because they're rude first but because im a bitch. I'm the problem. I'm the one ruining the party, I'm the one who's starting the arguments with a bullshit point.
I'm too sensitive, I'm too manipulative, im too stressed and I'm failing two classes. Im so argumentive. I started cutting. I don't know what else to do, and it made me feel like something. I don't care about life anymore. I'm too fucked up to fix it. Nothing gives me any form of hope anymore and I've been looking into ways to die right on the spot with a small amount of pain. I'm sick of life. And no, it won't get better in 20-30 years, by then I'll be swimming in debt because america sucks ass and the healthcare system is bullshit.
People have tried to help me, but I've given up. I know they want to help and I know they care, but I don't. I don't have any hope for my future.
It's all fucked up and I don't know what to do. I cant get help. It all basically came out of the blue, do why the fuck would anyone believe me? I feel so invalidated because every time I bring it up to any friend I have they are like "omg we can do it together!!". I don't want them to die, I want them to live their best life. I'm a burden. People would be sad for a week and move on with life.
I can't do this anymore. I'm fucking sick of it and I can't deal with it anymore. If it doesn't improve by April then I'll start making a plan to kill myself. I'm up to here with it. I just want to see people happy, but that's impossible when I am the way I am. I probably don't make any sense. But that's ok. I don't need to.
All I really needed was just a shoulder to cry on, but I can't even get that. | depression |
I feel like I’m a complete maniac when I get heated when correcting a family member what OCD truly is like or what it is exactly. Today my brother was going through my book notes for school, and noticed that I had only used one coloured sticky note for the entire book. He then commented that that’s where, “my OCD really comes in clutch.”
I just blew up after that. I went on a 5 minute rant explaining that that’s not what OCD is and it’s not someone being merely organized; it’s so, so much more than that. I kept telling him “only if you knew” and proceeded to explain how many people with OCD cannot eat properly, they cannot be in social settings, and they cannot do things without being tortured by debilitating thoughts. And that’s not even all of it, I said to him, in which he even replied “that’s stupid if you think like that” to one of my personal obsessions I shared with him. Thankfully he was quiet after but I always get this sense of guilt after I explain my hardship with this disorder because it’s so fucking exhausting and it’s been like this for years.
I always try to keep cool with my family but ever since being diagnosed with multiple disorders it’s like none of them had made an actual effort to do research or understand to a certain level. I feel like a complete joke to them but I know there’s not much I can do - anyways, sorry for the little rant. | OCD |
I give up on searching for happiness. I give up on seeking help. I give up on trying to make others happy. I give up on trying to make others proud. I give up on trying to set a good example. I give up on trying to build a future for myself. I give up on trying to find love. I give up on trying to get good at hobbies. I give up on myself. I've failed. I'm sorry mom, I know how much hard work you've put into me having to raid me and my sister alone. All these years I've resented you for all the trauma you've put on me, but I now realize you had it worse and it's not your fault. You were never the problem, I was, and I'm sorry for wasting so much of your life and time and effort for nothing. This world has nothing for me.
My sister is 13 right now. She already lost her dad 12 years ago, I can't let her lose her only brother too. I'm going to wait for her to grow up and make sure she ends up a good successful adult who can deal with shit. Then I'm killing myself. Until then it's just drugs, fucking around, throwing my life away and killing time until that happens. Hopefully by then I'll be dead inside enough that doing it will be easy. But I'm done trying. I give up. | depression |
woke up full of sweat and had a nightmare about my past. full on ptsd, feeling very anxious and i cannot fall back asleep | ptsd |
For those of you diagnosed as an adult, did you tell your employer about your diagnosis? If so, how did that conversation go? (USA)
My situation: I was just diagnosed (44F) and have worked with my company for 20 years in middle management. I’m at a breaking point between having an inexperienced (possibly incompetent) boss, an awesome new project requiring I work 60+ hr weeks, and general challenges in the business (staffing, morale, etc) common with the industry and exacerbated by the pandemic. I need to speak to HR about the boss situation and getting me help, but also feel like I should lay some groundwork around this recent diagnosis, if only to ask that they have patience with me while I work on finding the right medication. At the moment, I’m starting to fall apart due to stress and exhaustion, and I have a history of “losing my cool” in these situations and when reported to HR they always say “you should have told us”!!
(I should add, I’m not worried about losing my job…something needs to change or I’ve got to go, but want to handle this gracefully with out over sharing like I always do. And also really need the health insurance right now!! ) | ADHD |
Anyone think they were a sociopath/narcissist/schizoid? There seems to be a lot of overlap | aspergers |
From where I belong mental health isn't taken seriously , I am really struggling and being blamed for things what seem are out of my control given I have adhd and am not even getting any help for it . What are a few ways I could help and enable myself without a therapist
PS as soon as I start earning I plan on getting therapy | ADHD |
So my therapist told me that I may be displaying symptoms of PTSD. Although, it isn’t a solid diagnosis yet, it’s led me to look up symptoms because it never occurred to me that I could have it. As I read what people with PTSD go through, things are starting to click?? But I’m trying not to attach myself to the diagnosis yet as to avoid confirmation of bias.
Anyway, sometimes (I say sometimes but actually most times) I have this thing where I’m afraid of getting angry. Like, something either small and mildly annoying or actually big and valid of anger happens, and I feel the anger build up, and then... nothing? Like, I go through kind of a subconscious process of pushing it down and once it gets to a “manageable” state, I start doing breathing exercises or find something to distract me. But, I don’t actually let it out. Because I kind of recognize that immediately once I feel anger, I feel like hitting something or screaming uncontrollably or something like that... and that scares me. I’m scared that I’ll physically do or say something that will immensely hurt anyone nearby, especially any loved ones, or something worse I can’t even imagine it. It also presents itself as me shutting down, I guess I kind of prefer to keep it in where it can’t hurt anyone rather than do something drastic. Anyway, anyone else feel like that?
tldr: you ever feel scared of getting angry you just suppress it/try to distract yourself from it? | ptsd |
Man I just want to be normal and suppress all of my quirks. Does anyone else feel the same? | aspergers |
I started down the path of self-diagnosis about a year and a half ago and was feeling relatively sure of myself. However that being said, I didn't feel comfortable talking to other people about being on the spectrum without knowing for sure. My wife who agrees that I have the symptoms just kept telling me that I can't diagnose myself. Today I had an appointment with a psychologist and after about an hour and a half he agreed with my assessment that I am very much on the autism spectrum. Fortunately, I am on the very high functioning end of the spectrum which still comes with its own challenges. I know that this will not change who I am or how I see the world, but just getting that validation and knowing that I am autistic and there are reasons that I see the world and behave differently than most people just means so much to me. It's like after 41 years I finally understand who I am. I haven't really told anyone other than my wife yet, but at least now when I'm being socially awkward somewhere I have the means to explain to people why I am the way that I am.
It is a good day. | aspergers |
Finally getting my evaluation today (yay!) and I’m really looking forward to getting some help. I’ve been told that ADHD doesn’t look the same in females as it does in males, which is why they often don’t get diagnosed until they’re older. However, I’m curious to know what made anyone, regardless if you’re male or female, get a diagnosis as an adult. Did you notice you weren’t behaving “normally” compared to others? Did another person suggest you may have it? I’d love to hear (read) your stories!
Edit: well, evaluation is over. New to all the lingo but I’ve got the inattentive type. I knew I was right to get looked at, even when I was dismissed by family about how I just need to get organized. Will be starting medication soon and hopefully that will help me. Thanks everyone for the responses! I’ll continue reading them as they come in! | ADHD |
I'm nothing. Just nothing. I don't belong here. How do I end my pain? | depression |
So when I was at the ripe age of 13 I was diagnosed with OCD, along with a multitude of other mental health issues. I think at such a young age, my mother chalked it up to childhood anxieties and never did much to address it. Well now I’m 25 and have been doing a lot of work to heal my mental health and deal with these diagnoses. I’ve noticed a lot of behaviors that I’m learning could be related to OCD, but I also want to know if anyone else experiences such behaviors, or something along the lines. I’ll get right into it:
I obsessively clean my home. And I mean obsessively. Things must be done in the way that I see as clean otherwise it is not done properly and I have to redo it myself anyways. My boyfriend who lives with me suffers the brunt of this as we have had SERIOUS arguments about the way he cleans versus the way I need things to be cleaned. If I leave for work knowing something wasn’t left cleaned my way, I have anxiety the entire day about said thing.
Upon leaving the house and locking the door, I need the knob to be turned once to left, once to the right, and then pulled out and finally pushed in to make sure the door is locked and secured. If not, I will have severe anxiety all day and have actually left work before to make sure the door is locked because I did not complete my routine.
My nightly routine is very specific and tedious and sometimes my dog or boyfriend will interrupt between steps and I get so agitated that I’ve been interrupted that I feel as though I turn into this monster who erupts with anger because it didn’t get done in the order to which it needs to be completed.
I guess my question is this: does anyone else have feelings/obsessions/compulsions such as these? Like I said, just really trying to familiarize myself with my own disorders. | OCD |
Hey there, I'm a 23-year-old woman who has an informal diagnosis from a former psychologist, but count as self-diagnosed in our medical system.
I saw a new psychologist for the first time today, and mentioned I'm seeking an ASD diagnosis in the future (because I will need her help transferring my case to specialists). As with every psychologist I've mentioned this to, she didn't believe me, told me to not lock myself into a diagnosis, and made very sure to tell me in detail that she wasn't qualified to give me one (I know that, and it's not what I'm asking).
In the past, I had a psychologist tell me I didn't seem autistic because I could talk to her just fine. That is more of a compliment for my masking, but still hurt a little, since she had only seen me for 2 sessions at that point and doesn't know me without my mask.
The one I was at was asking about my recent depressive episode and what triggered it to become so bad (I had been hospitalized), and I told her it was because my pet bird died, and it was very hard on me.
That woman seriously said **"well that you loved your bird makes an ASD diagnosis unlikely, as part of the diagnostic criteria are that one has trouble with empathy"**
Ex-effing-cuse me???? Where do I start with this??
That having empathy with humans *is* harder than with animals, because they have less complicated emotions, they don't hide what they feel or lie, and everyone is on one level with reading their body language (NTs don't have it much easier here)?
Maybe that ASD can also be *hyper-empathetic* or anything in between, and to think Autistic people don't have empathy just because we might not express it in the same way is a very NT-centric perspective that doesn't reflect *our* inner feelings?
Maybe that expressing emotions, masking and acting in a socially acceptable way is a thing that is very common in women with ASD, and I might as well phrase this in a very socially acceptable way and seem NT because that's what I do all the effing day??
Ahhhhrg.
I don't even want their diagnosis. So I just smile and say that I might not be, but would like to "find out to know myself better", because that's what they want to hear. I'll get my referral, and then it's just 1-2 years of waiting to get the diagnosis, and I can show something when doctors doubt *my judgement about myself*, again.
See, everyone who knows me well - my friends and my boyfriend who's also autistic - tells me I'm very autistic. I know I am. It explains so much, and I have learnt to cope better once I knew it (earplugs have been a lifesaver, I feel less awkward when asking if something was meant as a joke or not, I value my routine and realize how being forced to adhere to a routine even when in home office or at the weekend, by having to feed my bird or similar commitments, helps me with my mood and executive function, my hyper-fixations and special interests).
And don't get me started on her reason not to want to give me a referral before she's convinced I'm autistic. **Because what she said about the specialists in diagnosing ASD was that "to a cherry expert, everything looks like a cherry"**, basically saying she's a better judge on whether I'm autistic than the literal experts on diagnosing autism.
She's my last chance at finding a therapist in this small town, I've talked to everyone who had a waiting list already because I've been looking for two years. I'll do what I can to stay with her, even if she might drive me crazy with this topic. | aspergers |
I was doing really good and then all of a sudden I got really scared that I might like my cousin there's a fear that I was pushing into the back of my mind I knew it was a OCD and then all of a sudden my head told me that I did like them it feels so real and scary at the same time I know their family and they feel like family I'm just really scared cuz it feels real advice? | OCD |
I asked my psychiatrist today whether or not medical marijuana would be appropriate for me, since it's soon-to-legal here. She really surprised me & said I'd be an excellent candidate & would be happy to help me once the state process is up & running. I don't want to spend my life on Xanax. I used a lot of weed to self-medicate for years in the past, but quit due to the anxiety of potential jail, losing my job, & hanging out with shady people to get it. From what I saw in AZ, none of those things would be a factor if I had a card. Although, due to the Federal ban technicality, I would most likely have to change employers. Anybody using prescribed medical marijuana? Is it helping? Hurting? No difference?
Edit: typo | ptsd |
i just got home from the psych ward and got an anxiety + depression diagnosis im 99% sure i have ocd but i didnt tell the doctor anytbing about that (ive never ever talked to a doctor about mental health before and i was nervous)
they prescribed me 50mg zoloft and my intrusive thoughts are exponentially worse and compulsions are like impossible to resist ive never had it this bad wtf do i do | OCD |
I think it's helping, I was really scared of taking meds for a long time but I got to the point I felt hopeless. my therapist recommended it and I kinda trust her, so now I'm trying to see how taking these goes. | depression |
I feel like I was reminded by my dad to take a shower and so if I take one then i'll feel like it wasnt really because of my own ambition is the word I guesss, also im growing out my hair and so if I shower ill be taking care of my hair and so lll only be taking care of my hair due to my dad if that makes sense | OCD |
So today my PTSD acted up. My friend and I got into a little disagreement about something small. And I snapped, I don't remember what we were arguing about, but I do remember feeling trapped, pissed, scared, and ready to fight. Before anything happened he left my house. We're good now (he understands PTSD and is helping me get over it he's a really good friend) but anyways all the muscle in my body seemed to tense up and honestly I felt like if he wouldn't of left I would of done something stupid. I'm a 6ft2 defensive college lineman with a background in boxing. I'm a really nice guy and very much so a soft hearted person. But when triggered I become really aggressive.
My question is, how do you personally suggest I should do to stop myself from doing stupid things. I'll walk out of a room, but I've actually had people follow me out of the room (they didn't know they were triggering me) I don't know I'm new to being aware of it and now that I see it, it really scares me. | ptsd |
Hello there, I just have a few questions I would like to ask
1. How do I find a lawyer to help me?
2. Has anyone gone through this process successfully?
3. If you have gone through this successfully, how are you living and (if it’s not TMI) how much do you receive?
I’m 21, I am diagnosed with ASD, Agoraphobia, Major depressive , Social anxiety, General anxiety, Borderline personality, CPTSD & ADHD (ahaha 🥲) , I am working for myself at the moment (art), I have never had a “real” job. I do not think I can, I do not think I ever will be able to, the stress of my work alone is far too much for me to handle. It’s getting to the point where I won’t be able to work much longer, I’ve been living on my own for 3 years, and my situation has just been getting worse. I have been slowly losing the ability to take care of myself because I have to be able to pay for things and work. The stress is too much to deal with.
I need hope… but I also need to know if this is actually do-able before I get my hopes up.
Thank you!
I’m located in Ontario, Canada btw | aspergers |
i want to die so bad it would be so much easier. what’s a good job for people with high anxiety anyways | depression |
Hi, 18 y/o male coming from the US. I used to be one of the happiest people I knew. I could make any negative situation into a positive one, used to gift give a lot, and used to laugh at almost anything. I was really fun to be around.
Flash forward, in 2021:
Lost my grandma and grandfather
Lost my savings in the stock market
Had a terrible senior baseball season and senior year, due to just harassment and maturity issues.
Had a huge falling out with my bestest of friends since the 8th grade, really bad. Ended up telling one of my best friends I liked this girl,(he told her when I asked him not to)
Ended up losing both of my friend groups, so about seven close friends. Pretty much spent all my time with these guys
^all of this stuff was the first half of the year, then I felt like it started to get better but I’m not sure
Started working a ton to get my mind off of it, went off to college and made some acquaintances/friends and I am back into contact with some of my friends from before, but they are still treating me badly. I am not going to elaborate much on what happened but I had talked to over 30 people on the situation, all which were adults and 80% of them laughed and thought nothing of it. The parents of my best friends were also on my side saying I didn’t do anything wrong. (Involved alcohol, me saying dumb things)
Anyway, I was pretty depressed before. Late at night I was getting suicidal thoughts, but never ended up doing anything because in the back of my head there was some light. I sort of broke out of my worse phrase of depression I feel like, but now I’m kind of just lazy and bored. I don’t have motivation or drive to do anything, I feel weak and I can’t laugh. That’s the biggest thing that bothers me, I can’t value myself or laugh. I am on a waitlist for a therapist and I figured I would just leave this here to maybe get some opinions? I can give for information if needed, thank you so much! | depression |
^(oh my god, I wrote this at 5 AM because I'm cramming. To make myself a feel a little better, I made a list. Here's the list. Maybe it can help you today.)
*adhd tips*
* **on a pad, write down the progression of your ideas** (i.e. while doing research or homework), sort of like a laboratory notebook, but for your train of thought. This way, you won't get as lost and overwhelmed with internet spirals. It's basically Ctrl + H for your brain. You can backtrack to your last relevant idea.
* Before embarking on another internet search thread (a.k.a. another 20 tabs), emphasize your jumping point/trigger thought.
​
* **highlighters.** They work! To make them less annoying I use pastel/subdued colors instead of neon/fluorescent ones. Stick to two, max three, colors. Then tag and classify words. Same principle for digital notes.
​
* ***spiraling thoughts.*** You have to ***^(SHOCK)*** yourself out of the panic. If you stay in your seat googling everything wrong with you, it will feed into a loop. A long loop. A *bad* loop.
* When it's over, find another perspective to think your thoughts. Reframe how you think. You are not one-dimensional.
​
* **obsessive, repetitive habits.** Treat yourself to an accountability object--a lucky frog statue, Funko Pop, rubber duck, framed picture. One item you feel comfortable talking at, aloud. When you find yourself biting nails, reddit browsing, or doing something you know you'd feel guilty of, look at this figure. Say sorry. Conversely, feel free troubleshooting your current dilemma with your duck.
* *^(("Ducky, how am I ever going to get my shit done?"))*
* *^(("Wing it."))*
​
* **delving into useless things.** Maybe it won't be so useless, sometime in the distant future. Keep a log of whatever you obsess over, so at the end of the day you won't feel as frustrated over "lost time".
* You've got receipts.
​
* ***social anxiety for obligations.*** On a different platform, maintain contact with people unrelated to the task. They will remind you that you've figured out how to function before.
​
* ***how to finish said obligations.*** Most of the time, your enemy is yourself. Negative self-talk when you need to focus is truly detrimental. The people around you might not understand. That's alright. You've been doing this for a long time now.
* Make a list to decongest, and when you feel the urge, edit this list instead of writing a new one.
* Stick it out slowly but surely to the end. Leave things open-ended, like annoying cliffhangers. Come back to the task.
* Know the consequences for noncompliance and make a game plan. *"Thank you for your patience,"* is a good start.
​
* **make an effort for/invest in things you like** for repeating tasks. They will keep things interesting because you will want to engage. For instance: fancy pen, fancy paper, fancy vacuum, fancy device, fancy work table, fancy running shoes.
​
* **if you can't go anywhere new,** try the floor. Create another station at floor level. It's almost a whole new way to do stuff. MacGyver a table, set a small lamp, repurpose a pillow to sit on.
​
That's nine bullets. There are four more.
​
* **forgetting to eat.** Do a little math with your waking hours and preferred number of meals. Set an alarm for mealtime deadline.
* I must eat lunch by 2 PM, so if I haven't, I drop things at 2 PM. Otherwise, I ruin the rest of the afternoon by being hungry and cranky.
​
* **flowchart your life.** Ugh, more organizing work? Sign me *out.*
* Face it, you need structure or else everything gets sucked into the void. *^(Where are my things? What is happening? I don't have anything to do right now.... right?)*
* If something you did (especially as a result of *your own* decision-making) turned out great, WRITE THAT DOWN, WRITE THAT DOWN. Treat this great outcome like a vaccine against your upcoming bad decisions. Helps conserve willpower, too.
​
* **sleep hygiene.** Who am I to type, I literally skipped sleep tonight. As a functional person yesterday, I say this:
* Keep naptime to a minimum, and use the rest of the day to make yourself.
* Resist caffeine. (Fine, after business hours.)
​
* **Apply the** ***out of sight, out of mind*** **habit to clutter,** and leave out the relevant items.
* Don't hide your accountability object, because sometimes real, living buddies are hard to find.
​
* ***self-doubt.*** There are no stupid questions, only arrogant people.
* Find an aspect of your life where you trust your gut, experience, or wisdom--*unconditionally.* Start from there.
​
I'm rather sleepy, but I'm almost done with the Actual Thing I'm supposed to be doing. Have a nice day, everyone. Stay safe. | ADHD |
I was texting an old friend from high school recently, and we had a really pleasant conversation.
I was really careful about sounding decently casual, and after saying goodbye to her, my first thought was "yes! I aced this conversation!"
Two thoughts popped into my mind. First of all, that NTs don't usually struggle with that kind of stuff. Yeah sure whatever, I already knew that.
The second thought, though, was that NTs probably don't ever even *think* stuff like "I aced this conversation," at least in a casual setting.
That felt extremely surreal to me, for a moment. Imagine if someone went to you and said "I aced this walk from the couch to the fridge!"
It's just like that. It was an interesting, and quite surreal, perspective shift. | aspergers |
I am currently serving in the U.S. Army and I have been diagnosed with Chronic PTSD. I have no deployments just a really intense episode trying to save three children from being murdered by their step-father. That incident spiraled open a whole can of worms that I though I have taken care of but nope the human body records all of it and stores it in a file that you never knew you created almost like malware. Daily I fight with anxiety, anger and stress the more I thin about it the more it digs in deeper and deeper. I do not like my profession anymore my job will not listen it feels like I am all alone. | ptsd |
Everytime I get into even a small argument with my bf I always ask if he will be there in the morning. Last night we got into a bad one and I ended up falling asleep wearing his backpack after hiding all the car keys and taking his id and putting it under my pillow. Deep down, I know he loves me too much to leave me but I've just been alone so many times before. When he found me like that he wasn't even mad though. He waited till I woke up, acted like it didn't happen for a while then told me he wasn't going anywhere. Even if I drive him insane. I know I'll do it again but is it really that unhealthy? | ptsd |
Since probably mid-January I have had suicidal feelings to some degree every day. My thoughts were tormenting me, and my only explanations were depression or possibly bipolar disorder. I didn't know how to cope. It was a constant barrage of distressing thoughts, often centered around ROCD, and it made not only my relationship difficult but functioning in my everyday life as well. Until a few days ago when I started researching OCD, and now everything makes sense.
It's been about two days since I've given suicide a serious thought for more than maybe five minutes. I understand myself so much better with the realization that there is something else going on and that I need to employ different coping methods. It makes me feel like maybe there's a way to fix things. So thank you r/OCD for providing that clarity. This subreddit (and r/ROCD) may well have saved my life. | OCD |
I know you are all having a hard time. Let me tell you my story.
So I'm 32. OCD latches on to anything. Health crap. Being a bad person in general. Etc. POCD even stopped by a few years ago. I've started seeing a therapist and it helps. Here is one of the situations that made me do so.
Back in January there was a story about a woman who I think is pretty attractive for an older woman posting a topless photo of her daughter on Twitter. She is 16. Sounds like the mom was hacked. Why she had the photo is another question for another day.
There is nothing that scares me more than being some kind of pedo. Yes I know age of consent in a lot of states is 16 which seems off to me and people that like 16 year olds aren't pedos necessarily, but whatever. I'd never hook up with someone that young. I'm happily married for one. As a side note, I have been fighting off a porn addiction with help from a therapist and some good ol' brute force so just some background.
Anyway I remember going on Twitter to do some snooping and this is where OCD fucks me up. I remember wanting to look up this photo. Not an uncensored version, but something blurred out. Curiosity if you will to understand the context of this photo this mother had of her 16 year old daughter. This will make perfect sense to type out and read back, but OCD is having a blast with this material. It wants me to believe that I wanted to see the real photo. Uncensored and all. Now, if I had really wanted to see it, Twitter wouldn't be the place. Maybe 4chan or something where no humans have morals, but not Twitter. (lol I know Twitter has its own problems).
In the course of all this my mind drifts off to the mother. She's good looking. Blah blah blah. Oogled her for a bit then went about my day. The one vivid memory I do have was at one point in my searches on Twitter there was a link posted about the daughter that was kinda sketchy. I was worried enough that it might be the actual unblurred photo that I wouldn't click on it. I eventually did see a news story that did have the censored version and cleared up the curiosity I had. Not that the daughter is super hot to me or anything. Women of age with some thickness are way better looking by far.
OCD to the rescue. Did I actually want to see the real photo the whole time? Was I giving in to some temptation? Was I weak? Would I ever cross that line? Yeah it's my own fault for not policing my thoughts and search patterns in a way to prevent the following OCD, but like I said, somewhere in this process I couldn't even being myself to click a sketchy link for fear it would be the actual photo from Twitter. This all happened so fast. Was the thoughts of wanting to see the real photo ever real?
Was I one of the monsters who as soon as the mom tweeted it, saved it and shipped it to the dark web? No. Was I the type of person to screenshot to keep for myself in my massive collection of similar photos? No. Did I have any OCD intrusive thoughts or urges about actually wanting to see the real photo of her without censoring? I suppose it's possible. Biology allows us to be attracted to 16 year old to some extent. Could my twitter searches and thought process have been better curated? Probably. Of course when you think the mom is hot, you don't think clearly about these things. Stupid lust.
Logic doesn't matter here, but it's clear I wouldn't click on a link that worried me. I can also say with great delight that I never saw an uncensored version of the photo even by accident, and I've never thought to go hunting the dark corners of the web for it and I don't feel like something is missing in my life that I haven't seen it. So why am I crucifying myself for something I didn't do, and can look you in the eye and say I'm so happy I didn't see anything inappropriate? Welcome to your exact story of OCD. It's taking what really happened and modifying it to it's liking. Do we really like em young? Are we just on the edge of crossing the line? It's such garbage. I know. It doesn't always help, but remember that the good guys are the ones who get sick over this type of thing. If we were truly evil, we'd just go be bad. No moral code. Nothing. We aren't bad. We are sick at the idea of being bad. It's not total comfort, but we have to find a way to stop arguing with the liar that is OCD and just say "yep you are right bro I'm a monster". You can't argue with this dude. Just let OCD think it's right and that it's won. Talk to a therapist if you'd like also. It can really help. We got this. | OCD |
im quitting school so hopefully i wont have to deal with it anymore | aspergers |
I disengaged but worried that all the progress I made may be hurt because of this interaction. What should I do? | ptsd |
This is going to be my first tip, as a member of this community. Hopefully it can help at least one person.
It may seem obvious, but something that I just recently started implementing which has been helpful is ***only opening one tab at a time while using an internet browser***
For reference I am a medical student and most of the studying I do requires being on a browser. Historically, I would always have multiple tabs open. One for Question Banks, one for Notes, one for Flashcards, one for Textbooks, one for Video Lectures etc. But, now I go with the mindset of **I can only use this one tab at a time**. Whatever is most important for me to do, **let me put all my focus to that one task.** If I get distracted or I want to do something else, I will pause the work I am doing, close that tab and open another tab to look up or do whatever I need to do (reddit, email, see if Ben Simmons got traded, whatever it may be). Then once that's done, I will close the tab and reopen the tab I was using exclusively for work. The only exception I will make is if I'm currently doing a question and need to look something up in a textbook. I will leave my question tab open, open a 2nd tab for the textbook. Hit Ctrl+F and find whatever it is I needed to look up in the textbook. Read that information, process it, and then close the textbook tab and return to the questions. If there is something I am not understanding I will make note of that on paper or on my phone via the Notes iPhone app. And then when I've completed my questions I'll see whatever topics I had difficulty with from my Notes and either open one tab with a video lecture of that topic or one tab with a resource which may have more information.
The fact of the matter is as humans, we can't really effectively multi-task. We can really only do one thing well, at a time. So I think sometimes subconsciously while at work or studying we may open up too many things and overwhelm ourselves. Us who struggle with ADHD, this can be even more detrimental as our focus can be easily lost. So in my humble opinion, it's best to limit what we have in front of us and focus exclusively on that.
TL:DR- Only open 1 tab at a time when doing work. If you get distracted, close your work tab and open just one tab for the distraction. Once the distraction is taken care of close tab. Open one tab again just for work like you were doing previously.
Hope this helps someone. Thank you and much love to all! | ADHD |
I typically go to counseling weekly for PTSD. The past two weeks, I haven’t been able to meet with my therapist. I feel more anxious, more memories are resurfacing, and it’s effecting my day to day life. I got scolded at by my boss today. And truthfully, rightfully so. But I don’t handle doing something wrong well. I let it eat me alive. I try using cannabis to help cope with the anxiety but as of right now it’s not helping at all and it’s all too much. Everything seems like too much to do. What do I do? | ptsd |
Life has really taken its toll on me the past 9 or so months, and I've come to terms that I have high functioning depression. It's nasty and bitter because the only person who really understands is my therapist. People see me working 50-70 hours a week, working towards what I want in life, doing all of these activities and such, but behind closed doors I'm a mess. Its hard that I truly feel like if I failed I have no safety net, that it's truly me against the world. That because I'm a man this is the way it's supposed to be - essentially shut the hell up and deal with it on your own. At the point of not even wanting sympathy, just someone who could recognize or relate to my pain. I know in the long term I'll be OK but some days it feels like the world is really crumbling down around me and no one sees that. | depression |
Anyone else have lower than average GPA in high school? | aspergers |
I (21F) have been living with ocd since I was 8, and as most of you have experienced the different obsessions and compulsions I experience change monthly and sometimes yearly. For the last 2 years, I have been deeply afraid that I somehow cheated on my significant other (M) subconsciously. My brain has created different scenarios surrounding this idea. It also does not allow me to drink… not even a sip of beer without feeling impending doom. I’m terrified to lose control of my actions and end up cheating on him without knowing, even though I’m positive that’s something I’d never do. Or that I will say something while drunk that will ruin the relationship. I’m not looking for reassurance, I’m looking for advice. Should I allow myself to have fun and get drunk with my boyfriend? Or will this cause my anxiety to shoot up and is it better I avoid it/ slowly work up to it? Should I open up to him about these obsessions? Thanks all, this is my first post on here and I’m hoping to become a move active member in the community. | OCD |
Started a course on linear algebra a few weeks ago. Learning about linear independence.
Get that it's proving that some vector a can be written in nontrivial combinations of b,c,etc.
Watch the guy prove this is linearly independent:
α * cos(t + 1) + β * cos(t + 2) + γ * cos(t + 3) = 0
he gets to a step where he groups cos(t + 1) + cos(t + 3), refactors cos(t + 2) somehow using cos(t + 1) and cos(t + 3) and a high school trig identity., then shows some values for α, β, and γ that solve the above.
I felt lost through that entire portion and am discouraged somewhat. Watched other videos, and they explain linear independence in terms of vectors and matrices, solve by expressing system of linear equations and finding determinanrs of square matrices, all methods that I am unfamiliar with now.
Mind wanders, thinking of how much from high school maths I've forgotten or did not learn. Freakout over how much I have to catch up on in order to follow along.
Guess I'll keep going,..tomorrow | aspergers |
Just going by general definition, I understand why I'm considered high-functioning. By looking at me, you wouldn't understand I'm autistic, since I just appear very quiet and reserved and look decent (according to what I've been told, anyway).
That being said, I won't ever be a functioning member of society (I wouldn't really want to be either). Having Asperger's plus mental illness can almost feel like a death sentence. Everything is too much for most of the time and I'm a nervous wreck for no apparent reason. I know it will probably get easier with age. It's just that I'm almost twenty with no future prospects, living in poverty, and struggling mentally. It doesn't look like it will change anytime soon. I know I only have myself to blame for being this way, and I know that the only person who can truly help me is myself. I know that mental illness is something you can overcome and that having Asperger's is something you can learn to accept.
But I'm absolutely terrified of what my future will be like.
Sorry for being a downer. I just had to get it off my chest. | aspergers |
So I was dx as an adult in the last two years. We started off at 10mg vyvanse and have slowly been upping it bc of worries my Tourette’s might spike, but so far so good. We upped to 50mg last month but I still only saw mild improvement, if any.
I’m planning to ask if we can give 60mg a go. But while I’m there, I’d like to save myself an appointment and also see about maybe adding something to help with ocd + depression beyond just therapy. Both have gotten worse the last year (surprise surprise), but I know not all antidepressants play nice with vyvanse. What have y’all tried that’s helped and been a good two hit combo?
*Only caveat is it’s gotta be on the up and up, bc I work in a fed regulated field and can’t have anything that makes you drowsy, etc. | ADHD |
I’m not sure what to do anymore. In my professional and personal life I’m used as a punching bag for everyone’s emotional turmoil. It’s to the point that I don’t even think people see me as a person. It’s absolutely heartbreaking to even say that. I have struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life. The first 10 years of it wasn’t taken seriously because I was (and still am) portrayed as too emotional or as I have been told dramatic. It’s so frustrating that my diagnosis and emotions are disregarded. I always push my feelings aside automatically because no one has ever taken the time to really acknowledge them. I want to pull my hair out and just scream. I’ve been gaslit and made to feel bad about how I feel because others don’t want to listen to me. I just…don’t know what to do anymore. I just want to quit my job and move away where no one can find me. I wish all of the time that someone would take the time to listen and not do it out of what they may feel is an obligation. Just genuine care and concern. Im not really sure why im posting this other than I just want to feel heard. I’m currently trying to get on my states insurance but I don’t know if I will qualify. I know I need to see a psychiatrist but I can’t afford it and if I don’t get approved for my state funded insurance I can’t afford to go. I’m just at a point in my life where I don’t see things getting better and that terrifies me. I’m just so unbelievably lost. | depression |
This is a pretty recent thing for me, but since 2020 I can’t stop worrying about world events and how they might impact me. Like i find myself becoming obsessed about it when I don’t even want to. For example, here’s a few things that I regularly find myself worrying about:
-Growing racial/political tensions in the United States that could potentially lead to a civil war.
-Chinas growing military capability and the threat of nuclear war if we get in a war with them over Taiwan.
-Potential upcoming global economic recessions/depressions.
I try to just not watch the news, and while that works at first, the news always finds me regardless. Anyone else have these kind of global, high level worries? Any tips, input, comments, etc is appreciated.
Thank you. | aspergers |
I'm 39 y/o just diagnosed for hypothyroidism (years after my RAI from hyperthyroidism) and my doctor said that is the reason to my depression. She quickly rule out the possibility of adult ADHD when I brought up to her (coz other than depression I realize my other traits like inattentive might have started since young).
With underlying health issue and other co-condition happening together that might have complicated the diagnosis, how long does it take for you to finally get your adult ADHD diagnosis "right"? | ADHD |
I just had to do a test. The tine limit was 3 hours but that still stressed me out. I sat there trying to write down anything but I was having SUCH A HARD TIME. I couldn't think. No coherent sentences were forming on the page. Or in my brain. Nothing was reachable in there. Every time I thought abuot how I couldn't think, tears would start to form. Then all I could think about was how stupid I am for this. So I gave up. I emailed my professor about maybe doing it another time. I literally cannot CANNOT do it right now. I hope she understands.
I'm currently crying and wondering if it's all going to work out. Please tell me it will work out. Please tell me someone's gone through this and can tell me that it will work out.
Please.
Oh yeah also it's worth 30% of my grade. | depression |
sometimes i think about something (a movie, memory or anything) and then i imagine something really bad happening in this thought and after this, i have a feeling that this REALLY happened and start to trying remember any moment in my past that prove that my thought happened in fact
this is so confuse...
i’ll give an exemple: i love the movie “the nightmare before christmas” and i was remembering some scenes and then i had a intrusive sexual thought with sally and her creator in the movie story and after this i was 99% sure that i used to watch this movie just because i wanted to see if going to happen something sexual between this two characters!!!!!!! feels so real that i need to remember every time i watched to see what was my intentions
hope you guys understood :( and sorry for my english | OCD |
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