body
stringlengths 51
39.8k
| subreddit
stringclasses 5
values |
|---|---|
I can tell my self ‘don’t forget to do xyz ‘ and then I’ll immediately forget to do it
-I forget to flush the toilet sometimes
-Lock my car door
-Lock the front door
-Forget that I didn’t zip up my bag before throwing it over my shoulder ( and having the contents fall out )
-Forget that I didn’t twist the cap on tight enough before throwing it in my bag and having it spill everywhere
-Forget what I’m saying mid sentence
-Read a whole page before realizing I’m not retaining anything
-I can be told to do something and I’ll forget if I don’t do it that moment
-Lose track of time / have zero sense of time / always late
I didn’t know these things could be related to ADD until this year .
Anyone else like have issues with forgetting to do things or have zero sense of time ?
What other seemingly ‘easy tasks’ have you struggled with that you realized was related to ADD?
|
ADHD
|
It just wont stop, cant sit in class without thinkin about it. I even learned online how to do it right. If anyone came through it and have tips, i'll be glad
|
depression
|
When I was 15 I was admitted to a hospital for mental health reasons and did an inpatient stay at a children's psych ward for ten days. (side note, I remember the time and date I was admitted and released perfectly, as well as what I had for dinner that night and where I sat at the table.)
During my stay I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder which was the reason I was there and also given a side diagnosis of OCD. Upon hearing the news, I never even let it sink in and decided to ignore that part of the diagnosis. It was too much work, there was crazy stigma around it and I didn't understand OCD enough. In my mind, if I never thought about it then I never had it. I quite literally erased the idea of having OCD from my memory and didn't think about it for years.
Over the next decade and a bit, I fall into predictable patterns of my once friends now distancing themselves from me because of my behaviours. I was an asshole, I refused to change anything about myself and expected the people around me to adjust to me. Needless to say, this made me unpopular and each thing I wasn't invited to made me even more depressed.
Fast forward to March 2020 and I think we all know what happened. I had a lot more time to think about who I was and make changes. I wish I were kidding, but at this point I had completely forgotten that I had an OCD diagnosis. (forgot maybe wrong, blocked more apt) I started making small changes to my personality to make me a more likeable person. However, with certain things I felt like I had unbreakable habits.
I asked my friends (the ones I had left, and that have stuck with me through situations where I literally tried to stop being their friend during a breakdown. I am blessed to have these friends. ) what they did to change habits one day and they looked at me weird. The question made no sense to them. I did some googling and came across a three letter acronym and remembered "oh my God I forgot I was diagnosed with OCD."
Now I'm learning more about the disorder, I had swept it under the rug but now it's coming out from underneath and explains so much about who I am and what I do. I just wish I was more open to the idea of needing help with a diagnosis when I was 15. If I had the help and understanding sooner, maybe I'd have had a better adult life.
|
OCD
|
Hi all, a quick search brings up a lot of questions about appetite loss, but I wanted to ask for specific meals or meal replacements (for the days where you're either not hungry or nothing sounds good) or supplements/vitamins/etc. you've incorporated into your daily routine.
I am really looking for "healthy" options - which is different for everyone! - but by that I mean somewhat well-rounded in terms of macro and micronutrients (currently only toast sounds good and that isn't cutting it). And then vitamins or supplements for micronutrients that you found you were missing from your overall diet or helped with medicine side effects. I have a multivitamin, and I've seen zinc and magnesium thrown around.
Some background: my first month on adderall coincided with an insane work/travel schedule, so I didn't really notice its effects on my eating habits until now. I've lost a noticeable amount of weight, but I'm a pretty active climber usually, and it feels like I mostly lost my muscle mass. I've been getting back in the gym and climbing outside on the weekends and I just feel like garbage the whole time. I feel especially horrible the next day because I'm clearly not refueling my body correctly after high output activities, which is certainly not sustainable in the long-run.
My doc and I are going to reevaluate the medicine at the beginning of January, so I'd really like to not lose any more weight unless it coincides with me truly taking care of myself - i.e. regaining muscle I've lost and remaining strong in general. I don't have a diagnosed past of ED, but I was open with my doc that I've had disordered eating habits before. It took me a long time, and really it took getting into climbing, for my relationship with my body and food to become a healthy one, and I don't want to back-slide because of this. I went from really restrictive/monitored eating to intuitive eating, which did wonders for me mentally and physically, but now without cues I find that I can't intuitively eat.
Has anyone found strategies that work aside from tracking calories and macros? Does regular exercise improve the hunger cues or is that just gone for good with the medicine?
|
ADHD
|
First of all I 100% support peaceful protesters fighting to end these racial injustices. I live in an area that has had the same group of protesters for 3 nights now a block away from my house. They are screaming honking horns and I can hear the polices sirens and the helicopters. Tonight I heard repeated gun shots (could have been something else). I can’t take it. I live with my mom who also has PTSD. We both struggle to feel safe at home, but had made some good progress.
I feel like this has gone beyond peaceful. During the day it is fine, but it escalates every night after curfew. I really wish they would stop after it gets dark. I have friends who are posting about supporting the protesters actions at all cost. I wish I could share my experience, but I feel like I would be shamed.
I was wondering if anyone else has been triggered by recent events and how they have coped.
|
ptsd
|
I was diagnosed later in life. The missed diagnoses was bipolar disorder. I am prone to outburst when something happens that I don’t like( in this case when people are careless with something that’s mine). When I get like this squeeze my head and tense up my body. My motor functions also take a dip. When I am like this it is almost impossible for me to communicate what is in my mind especially if the person asking is antagonizing me.
My mother knows the diagnoses. She will keep antagonizing me by saying I’m ungrateful and basically making it about her. I am unable to explain anything in this state. I just blurt out short words mostly asking her to leave me alone. Which is the only thing that can be done to let it pass.
But she just keeps on the verbal assault. To which I will responde with how she is a horrible person. This is not intentional.
I just wish she understood.
She seems to think I use it as an excuse to throw a temper tantrum.
|
aspergers
|
My entire adult life I’ve heard that others can’t tell when I’m being sarcastic. This has been a huge problem for me because most of the time I’m being serious. Often what I say is interpreted as me being mean.
Does anyone have this problem?
|
aspergers
|
So I’m havin POCD and it’s targeting kids about 12-13. So my new thought is “what if you aren’t attracted to that age but like 11?” So I have a question. If I fear being attracted to 1 age, can I still be a pedo for another age? Or is it one of those things where if you fear any age you won’t be attracted to any age that’s not appropriate for you? Because I’m only 17 so I still find like 15 year olds attractive sometimes but that’s only a 2 year difference
|
OCD
|
I'm looking through my Instagram and deleting old people from my school. Looking back I know I wasn't that easy to be around but damn. Some people are just horrible and mean and choose to ostracise someone in groups rather than help or have some sort of empathy :(
good riddance I'm glad they're out of my life. I'm much happier with the people around me these days.
|
depression
|
Hi, after recently being put on a personal improvement plan at work because of "concerns" around communication, estimation, and timely delivery (all of which dovetail greatly with ADHD struggles), I disclosed my ADHD diagnosis to my company and am working with HR to document it. To their credit, they are taking it seriously and providing me further paperwork to fill out with my psych provider. The challenge will be quantifying exactly what sort of accommodations I'm looking for. (Informally, more grace and patience when having to be reminded about things, and possibly more time allotted to finish up the last details of something. "More margin" if I had to put it succinctly.)
Has anyone successfully or unsuccessfully applied for accommodations at work with the viewpoint of ADHD being a legitimate disability? I would love to hear your experience and whether it "worked out" (or how things played out either way).
FWIW, I'm a software engineer and have been in the field for 20+ years.
|
ADHD
|
I have been having a shit time doing laundry bc contamination ocd so I do laundry yesterday just to find out some asshole I live with washed a fucking dirty dog gate that's always by the garbage can in the sink and I did my fucking laundry after the fact and now my fucking bed, closet, fuck loads of laundry, hangers etc is contaminated. I'm going to fucking lose it. Idk what to do. I want to throw ever outside and give up and bleach the shit out of everything in sight. Idk how to fix this. I need help. Fuck everything. I'm freaking out and defeated. 😭🤬😵😭
|
OCD
|
So I have decided to denounce the autistic lifestyle and become normal
I believe this will help with my professional, social, fitness, and all other goals.
I’m going to keep my autism obsessions, at least to an extent, because those are kind of fun. However, I’m actually going to be able to act on them now that I am socially normal.
I am so excited to become normal and I believe that being able to build social connections with a large number of people will be amazing.
Before anyone says I can’t do it, I’m well aware. I just would really really like to.
|
aspergers
|
I dunno about you guys (and it definitely wasn't always like this for me) but my OCD is a lot better when im spending time with people. It definitely still lingers in my brain but since im occupied having conversations and just being around people i feel like it takes some strain off my mind.
After a long period of being single (mostly due to my OCD) i have started a relationship with the most amazing girl. She makes me very happy and i love her so much. And i just feel more chill with her cos like i said im occupied (wink wink) and i am more motivated to not go through with my compulsions because i dont wanna embarrass myself and waste time with her (even though she would never judge me or make me feel bad about my compulsions)
And i dunno if this is me being overly dependent on my beautiful girlfriend but when im alone (which is more most of the week, i dont have many friends since moving house. And im not working atm) i feel my intrusive and anxious thoughts coming right back :/
And last night i just told myself that its great i have found this relationship but i need to remember that the ability to be relaxed when im alone has to be my top priority you know. I just miss the days of early childhood where i didnt have to worry about these completely irrational thoughts
Anyone feel the same? Much love to you all
|
OCD
|
I hope I can describe my feelings correctly. I know it sounds stupid, but I would like to be an immortal and all-knowing person. I would like to be an organism that can see all dimensions, eg. time. I hate knowing that my decisions are not made rationally but are influenced by emotions. I have life energy, but it is lost day by day because I have no purpose. Why do people get up every day? To get a good job? To earn money? To live well? But what am I supposed to live well for? Rationally, I don't see any meaning in life, and that's why I have no motivation to make an effort.
Does anyone have answers to my questions?
|
depression
|
So i always focus on my breathing a lot, thinking im not breathing 'right' but today something weird is happening.. i keep having these weird thoughts like 'what if i stop breathing?' Or lose control over my breathing. and it makes me have shortness of breath idk whats that
|
OCD
|
i’m absolutely tired of hearing neurotypicals and sometimes others with different disabilities or mental illnesses constantly making jokes/boasting about just how much adderall makes them focus, get everything done, feel “”high””, and just makes them so energized. because of this bullshit when i first got prescribed adderall i genuinely thought it would fix all my problems as if it would be a miracle drug and i could actually focus for once because it worked for *everyone* right? it just made everything worse and added insomnia. i don’t give a shit that you were able to finish your essay in 30 minutes and deep cleaned your whole house. i have literally sat at my desk starring at my laptop for hours trying to think of anything to type for an assignment that was due by midnight. when i see people without adhd boasting about how it makes them seemingly perfect i feel like there’s something even more wrong with me. abusing meds meant for developmental disorders isn’t cute or edgy.
|
ADHD
|
I really don’t understand the people who can just ask people out constantly, and doesn’t get heartbroken when it doesn’t last. I can’t just “like” people. The only people l look at that way is the person that l love. I’ve only been in a few relationships in my life because of that. I was in love with someone in high school who l waited for, for years. And l don’t understand the people who can talk to so many people at once, and just move on. Can anyone else relate to this?
|
aspergers
|
I have PTSD I have severe depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts and I want therapy but when I tell my mother she just says " sure " ( sarcastically ) and a couple of mins ago I deeply expressed why I need therapy and am not even sure if we can afford it but its much better then suffering like this. I am a mental mess!
|
ptsd
|
In a room setting, I like to socialize with certain people but if I don’t like a certain person I try to ignore there presence. I was wondering if anybody else deals with this.
|
aspergers
|
Is anyone else often beset by rage?
Autistic Rage, I suppose.
It's how I've experienced meltdowns most of my life, at least after childhood.
It's also a feeling that starts so very easily for me when I encounter difficulties with the world.
Trying to put a password in and it's telling me it's wrong? Rage. Person making noise 8n the other room? Rage. I can't quite reach something? Rage. A task is taking too long? Rage.
I'm honestly amazed I've never actually gotten physically violent. Though I've certainly become verbally so, whether at myself or an object or whatever.
I'm tired of the Rage. So very tired. After nearly 40 years, I just so often want to scream and even break things. The Rage never gets better. It's always there. Always just beneath the surface.
Sometimes I'll let myself snap in my head and say to myself internally what I want to scream at another person when they're causing my rage. And it feels a little better. But nothing like it would feel if I could get the person to understand and stop.
That's what I really want. Other people and things to stop causing the rage inside of me. But that never happens.
Once, it did from one person. They listened and would learn and stop doing things that made me feel like this. But they're gone.
I hate feeling like this. I hate that not being able to slip my shoe on makes me feel like the incredible hulk.
I wish I could talk to my therapist about it, but I never trust anyone who has professional obligations with anything bordering upon something that could be misread as a problem. Less they feel ita something to report.
It's not. It's nothing I don't have control over. It's nothing threatening. But I don't trust anyone to know or accept that.
|
aspergers
|
hey i don't know if this is the right flair but i just wanted to vent i guess i don't know
literally spent my entire day literally agonising and delaying coming home because of the pile of dishes i had to do. couldn't even think about it ive been pretending i do not see for like 2 days now. well i get home and i just think noooooooooo this is gonna take soooooo long but end up stepping foot in the kitchen, pulling my sleeves up and get to it.
it took me like 20 minutes. there are no words.
|
ADHD
|
After 20 dang years I confronted her, I faced her and I told her that her behaviour has scared me ever since I was a kid, her behaviour has caused trauma for me. Im legit freaking out right now, my whole damn body is whack and I feel like throwing up, im legit having a panic attack and im dissociating so so badly. She pushed me hard to get me to "spill the beans" I told her I did not want to because it would cause a bad mood but she pushed me and I talked about it. Im worried how she will act now but I guess I will just see.
If this is what trauma therapy is like then I dont want it, what im feeling right now is super scary.
How can I make this pass smoothly, and is this reaction normal? It feels like im floating in space.
|
ptsd
|
I tried looking for a post already like this; but I was wondering if anyone else was always told that “everyone has ADHD” anytime that they told people that they had ADHD?
Lil story: I was diagnosed last year at age 22 with inattentive ADHD (which makes a lot of my behaviours make sense) and when i told my dad, he said that everyone has ADHD. I didn’t know what to say so i just said hmm yeah. Then somehow I got into telling my boyfriend’s mom that i had ADHD, and she said that everyone has it too. This all made me really question if I actually had ADHD or if i was taking adhd meds for no reason, which then lead me to have a mental breakdown because i was pretending like i didn’t have ADHD, if that makes sense?
Basically i’m struggling with accepting that i have ADHD because the people i trust say that everyone has it. I guess they make me feel belittled? Idk i feel like my minds a mess right now :(
|
ADHD
|
I'm curious, since I'd like to learn more about this topic.
|
aspergers
|
i have ocd and i'm having trouble focusing on school work because of these issues. its kind of a long story but it directly affects my mom and her bad moods are bringing back bad memories for me. therapist reminded me that there is nothing i can do about this issue as a whole, so it's not worth my time thinking about it. which is very true, but it's still bothering me. ocd wise i've been telling myself i'm allowed to have these thoughts, and trying to just not think about it causes me more stress. i don't know how to talk to anyone about it, i feel like i need to talk with a friend or something. it's also hard to explain how i feel. but like right now, i'm trying to write an essay for school and keep thinking about how my mom seemed upset and everything is bothering me.
|
OCD
|
I need ways of dealing with meltdowns
I recently broke up with my gf and I’ve been having a lot more meltdowns than usual. I think this is normal but they are very uncomfortable and not the most fun time. The most recent was when she said ‘I did love you’ so I started saying did over and over again and scratching my head and body and I felt like I was trapped inside my own head it was awful. I need ways of dealing with this meltdowns helpfully. I do this thing where i tap my left middle finger against the palm of my hand which I do when I’m stressed or overwhelmed but it doesn’t always work. What can I do to deal with these sort of situations (not just the break up I mean any shocking or worrying or stressful or overwhelming situation) thank you :)
|
aspergers
|
I’ve been working my ass off all year and saving up to move to another state. I have been looking for apartments and short term roommates and haven’t had any solid leads. All potential roommates I interviewed with have been really flaky and the apartments I been looking for are unavailable. I wanted to be moved out last month already like I planned. Every little thing now seems to annoy the fuck out of me and has me in a really stabby mood 24/7. I’m burned out from working all the time and want to fucking move already. I was going to last year ovet the summer then the pandemic hit. I feel like I’m getting more depressed as each day passes.
|
depression
|
I started at a new clinical site this week with a nurse practitioner. She's nice enough but pretty aloof, and talks really fast and at length almost constantly. I thought maybe it was a personality quirk but as we worked together more she warmed up and I realized we were alike in attitude and our workflow. Then casually in passing she mentioned she has ADHD and apologized if she came off strong, and things made sense. It was also a pretty emotional moment for me.
I went undiagnosed for 26 years, which were total agony academically. I wanted my parents to have me evaluated, but they repeatedly refused. So I thought it was in my head until I got to grad school, and I fell so hopelessly behind everyone else that I knew something was different about me.
Fast forward a year and a half on Wellbutrin and I ask my preceptor if she was willing to share about her experience with ADHD. Growing up was also hell for her. She said she was also diagnosed late, in nursing school, and felt a similar mix of anger for not catching it sooner and relief from finally figuring out what was bothering her. We had the same treatment regimen and followed the same course of improvement after starting medication. We also both started seeing changes when we transitioned from sitting in lecture for 9 hours a day listening to droning, to the crazy fast pace of ER's and rural clinics that were more suited to our minds. Plus the same struggles with dosage adjustment and juggling multiple patients with our own mental health. She gave me a preview of what it'll be like as a provider with ADHD and gave me tips on how to live our best life with what we've got. I thanked her, and we got right back to work.
When I look at her, now I see how I'm going to be like in the future. And given her long career and how loved she is by her patients, staff, and definitely by her students, I'm happy with that. Felt like I was lost in a sea of laser-focused, hyper type-A, gossipy students and money-driven, jaded clinicians that all look at me a little funny. Many, many, many times I questioned why I even wanted to practice medicine and if I belonged in that community. This week was the first time I felt truly validated and safe in both education and healthcare, and I just wanted to share how at peace it makes me feel.
|
ADHD
|
I have (currently undiagnosed) OCD and I think I have some kind of health anxiety...
This has happened plenty of times where I'll feel something weird or mildly painful and believe it's something serious to the point where I can hardly function...I don't take care of myself, I don't exercise, I don't do things I wanna do when this happens and it's happening again.
Like 4 or so days ago I had felt this pain in my abdomen where the appendix is. It was mild, I had no other symptoms, and it never got any worse.. I was worried I had appendicitis. And now it's still making me worried when the majority of the time I barely feel anything or I will just feel weird around the side of my abdomen but not painful...occasionally I'll get mild pain but it's never been severe.. I'm wondering if part of it now is false sensations and I'm wondering if this stuff happens because of my OCD. It messes with me so much...I'm scared. Doesn't help that I'm also terrified of surgery, as I've never had surgery before...
Yeah uhh...really wondering if this is OCD related..
|
OCD
|
Hi everyone! I just got 2 forms from CAMHS and i have to get my parents to do one form and i have to pick 1 teacher to fill out another form. I’m at sixth form college and since we only started in september I have no idea which of my teachers to give it to since i have no idea which one knows me best.
1. My fav teacher is Psychology but i’m quietish in that class (doesn’t show my hyperactivity)
2. In English i answer lots of questions and participate a lot but i’m very good at it (so it wouldn’t show my academic struggles)
3. In Drama I’m quiet but i’m very behind in my coursework (again doesn’t show my hyperactivity)
Which teacher should I give the teacher ADHD CAMHS form to?
Thanks!!!
|
ADHD
|
I haven't been fully diagnosed with ADHD yet, we are currently still working on it. That being said, I have been almost entirely convinced these past few months that I have been suffering from it this whole time. But a few thoughts keep popping in my head that I don't have it, because this symptom is not "this bad" to be considered ADHD. Mainly memory, short term and working memory specifically.
I know that a lot of people with ADHD tend to struggle with that. And I have personally never really had issues when it comes to replying to people, or remembering to check up on things. I do have the ability to tuck away stuff that I want to do for a bit and get back to it fairly soon.
Sure I'll get disctracted and maybe end up remembering it soon after, but for the most part it seems fairly functional. I've noticed that in fact, my memory tends to get very selective of things, depending on how interesting they are to me. I enjoy talking to people, and the people I like talking to or have an interest in I'll tend to check their messages or reply quickly to them. But then I'll have an extreme case where I will leave someone on read for months or even years, and my email box has probably around 5000 unread messages at this point. I will be asked to do something and it's most likely something unfun, and I'll totally forget about it for hours and realize it later that it was too late. And I will always misplace things for a bit. In my house we've always had the keys in a very specific spot, so I never have trouble finding them. But the rare times they do change spots I can spend about 10 minutes looking for them. Same goes for other objects that could literally be in my pocket and I completely forgot about it. I also fairly often forget what someone just said, or what I wanted to say, or what I was here to do, but even that never lasts too long (though forgetting what I wanted to say because I controlled my urge to blurt it out becomes a huge problem sometimes). Remembering names can be a hassle if we've only met once.
That being said, for the most part, my memory hasn't impacted me that much to the point where it became worrisome, and that is probably part of the reason why I didn't ask for a diagnosis until I was 30. I'm just interested in hearing how varied other peoples' memories tend to be. While personally my memory seems to be working fairly fine and could probably use some work in some aspects (mainly when I'm not interested or paying attention), I understand that the illness affects people in very varied and even extreme manners. I am pretty sure I am overthinking this, but it's been a recurring thought that has been really annoying these past few months, because I keep thinking that I have to hit specific checkmarks and standards to be considered, and things I don't struggle with as much as others just means that I am doing all of this for attention, or looking for an excuse as to why I am the way that I am
TL;DR: My working and short term memory doesn't seem to be too bad, but I would like to hear how other peoples' memories work, to see how varied experiences are
|
ADHD
|
All of my classes and apparently the entire internet is just saturated with people who grew up watching and loving Spongebob, still love it, still watch it, etc etc. I never watched it though? I really didn't like it. It was overwhelming and confusing and always made my ears hurt, what about y'all? I recently saw a bit of an episode while sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's and was instantly reminded of how much I didn't like it growing up.
|
aspergers
|
For some time now, I have had difficulties studying, reading or similar mental activities. I do not get stressed for exams or anything, and I'm not unhappy outside of this. But whenever I sit down and study without pressure, I get a ton of intrusive and unceasing thoughts telling me that I will not be able to understand what I'm studying, ever. And that I'm ruining my future. This drives me to a point where I can actually not study because of these thoughts. And it looks like this will impact my future studies.
I guess I am posting this to see if anybody else is like this, and if there is any way to cope with this. For personal reasons, seeking professional help is not an option at this stage.
|
OCD
|
I'm working with a NT person who I can't get along with at a job that is part time, no benefits , but pays 20/hr. Ive been working with him for a year and a half and things have only gotten worse, I've tried making due and being cool with him, but it still eats me up inside and I've twice recently went off on him. I can push to work with a different person, but it will cause drama. He also talks down about me to a lot of people I hear here and there. I've give a 3 week notice but I'm unsure if it was the right move. I'm supposed to talk to my boss on the phone about it later today.
I recently thought about trying uber eats because I like the idea of no coworkers, minimal contact with people and the general freedom of it. Unfortunately, it doesn't pay much although YouTube videos make it sound not too different from what I make now.
Friends and family think it's a horrible idea, say I'm too smart or too good for that, that I'm just not trying hard enough and recommend I get a night stock job.
I don't know what to do, was hoping for advise, suggestions, recommendations, etc...
|
aspergers
|
I was battling with Schizo-OCD for some months now and it faded away and for a week or 2 I was fine
Then BOOM my original fear of heart disease and heart attacks came back.
Now I’m obsessing and I’m just a mess rn. I’m getting chest pains , arm pains in my left side, dizzy, shortness of breathe , skipped heart beats, impending doom feeling, hot flashes , weird pains, and neck stiffness . And other symptoms .
I’ve seen a doctor just 2 weeks ago AGAIN and all my tests came back fine I’ve had multiple tests as early as 2 weeks ago and in the last 5 months I’ve had every heart test you can think of MULTIPLE times. Heart monitors at home multiple times and the only thing ever caught was ONE yes ONE extra beat or skipped beat . And doc said it’s normal. But I’m still stressing out , still have bad anxiety, and still having these symptoms , I’m fucking terrified. The chest pain makes me so scared that I am about to get fired from
My
New job (it’s hard labor moving job) because my body is sore and I’m afraid my heart will give out because the heavy work load. I’m overweight 24 and have high blood pressure from stress and that I suppose . But all my tests are fine but I’m struggling bad rn I’m getting chest pains typing this right now and I’m freaking out . I’m in debt from all these hospital bills idk what to do. Therapy hasn’t been working lately and I’m tired of my anxiety meds. Ughhh why does my chest feel tight and hurt
It makes it worse because I broke and went on google and read articles about young people getting heart attacks like age 21-30 and now I have those symptoms . Then I read how physical labor jobs and working out can be bad for your heart. This legit all started 5-6 months ago when I got my first panic attack after
Father died and I saw how high my blood pressure was it freaked me out.....
Then I read how anxiety and stress can trigger heart problems and now I feel boxed in since for the last 6 months I’ve been under extreme stress and I feel like I damaged my heart from it and from the poor diet and now adding the physical labor job I just started.
At this punt I’m scared asf and want these symptoms to go the fuck away.
|
OCD
|
Recently my (20m) girlfriend (20f) of 2 years has been less romantically attracted to me. She has a lot of stress in her life about what she’s going to do in the future and where’s she going to live. About 2 months ago she started taking antidepressants (Sertraline) and has been less touchy, clingy and intimate. We haven’t had sex since like early September(she is not the most comfortable with sex). She does not go to therapy. Lately I asked what is wrong since she just wasn’t herself around me and she told me that she doesn’t know what she needs right now and that when we hug it feels more platonic. I overthink a lot and it has put stress on me of whether or not she is falling out of love with me. She says she doesn’t want to break up because she’s scared she’ll hurt me and she also doesn’t like hurting me by not giving me the affection she thinks I deserve. She told me I was her person and that we don’t have to break up right away and can try to do something about it. She isn’t comfortable kissing, less inclined to text as she usually does, and overall seems less interested in me as a partner. She has also brought up our codependency problems and that she is emotionally burdening me since she doesn’t have any friends other than me. What should I do? I am pushing her to go into therapy because of her depression. Should I ask her to tell her doctor how she has been feeling while on the pills? Should I give her space?
|
depression
|
Hi Reddit. I am newly 20 years old and have struggled with depression since I was 13. It feels like it’s gotten much worse over the years. I am so tired and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to get out of my unhealthy patterns because it makes me feel safe. I started self harming because I had a breakdown so bad I couldn’t contain myself. I am so tired and every day feels like it could be my last. I am tempted to down my antidepressants because I can’t handle being such a burden on everyone.
I have gone to therapy and have visited my doctor multiple times. I just feel like if I ask for help I’ll be seen as weak. I’m just so tired.
|
depression
|
Hello, and thanks for reading. I've had insane, incredible vivid dreams for years, diagnosed with PTSD about two years ago, then read a few studies and articles about vivid dreaming connected to PTSD.
I am doing better now than I ever have before -- I don't think about killing myself nearly as much anymore, and even when I do now it is only a passing thought. I stopped drinking completely and am now comfortable in my sobriety (at least for now), which I am so happy about. Things are okay for me right now. And I am maybe happy? Not sure what that feels like.
The one thing in my way is the constant vivid dreaming. I can't take it anymore. It's every night. I don't want to go to sleep anymore because I'm afraid of them. I wake up sometimes hyperventilating because it feels so real, I am exhausted all the time from the intensity of the dreaming, even when they aren't nightmares. I wake up so out of touch and it takes a moment to distinguish real from dream when I wake up.
I was wondering if anyone experiences this too, and if anyone has any advice on what I can do to maybe sleep dreamlessly.
Thank you
|
ptsd
|
Feel like OCD gives me frozen thoughts. I'm afraid to think about anything and don't give my mind time to roam so then I spend time thinking bout WHAT to think about and then I think about nothing but also am so anxious. what is this?
|
OCD
|
Hey guys. So ever since college I've felt like I have ADD. While in college I didn't have insurance. So I couldn't afford to pursue testing. A couple of years ago I expressed my concerns to my primary care Dr and she prescribed Wellbutrin. It help for a little while but then I went off of it and switched to Lexapro for my depressed because wellbutrin made me too anxious. I can't afford to go to a psychiatrist right and and the wait is too long. I have an appt with my PCP in a couple weeks. Should I bring up Vyvanse? I don't want to seem like I'm looking for meds but I feel like it would help based on what I've read. Should I bring research to my dr? She doesn't want to prescribe meds because she's not a psychiatrist. What should I do? Please help. I also have had an issue with my weight my whole life and feel like it would help with binge eating. I'm afraid my dr will think confirmation bias if I mention all of my symptoms but they would be remedied by vyvanse. I hope this makes sense. Please help guys!
|
ADHD
|
Should be add to be exact, it’s like adhd except the hyperactive part, I can sit still if I have to, just can’t quite focus on a single task like others do.
I looked up the symptoms and I’m match pretty much all of them. The most obvious sign is my struggle with homework, i can’t focus on finishing it without distracting myself every 5 minutes. It’s usually cause of me craving for my phone, but even when I really restrict myself to not use it, my mind would still come up with all kinds of very random thoughts. I’ve had moments where I’m just really frustrated on wondering what’s wrong with me.
I’d always leave my work to the very last moment, like only doing a weekend load of work until it’s sunday night, which in most of the case resort in me staying up till midnight, then giving up on submitting them on time or not submitting at all, and just go to bed. Ive been in this scenario countless times yet I never learn. I keep telling myself to change but during times when I’m supposed to be doing homework, I play and forget about what’s more important.
I get distracted by noises around me when im trying to work, like in a test i can’t help but notice the person next to me breathing heavily with their stuffy nose, just blow it into a tissue ffs.
I’d say I have a wild imagination, with me being able to visualize vivid images in my head. I looked up hyperphantasia, might have that as well. I would always entertain myself with it while doing mindless tasks, like when I’m heading somewhere on foot, I’d imagine the streets and buildings getting wreck by giant robotic arms, sound childish, but to me I see them like those stunning visual effects scenes from sci fi movies, I’m not some sociopath, I just find it to be cool. Some people may have something similar like imaging a ninja doing parkour across lamp posts on a ride as a kid. I would still do that, just instead of ninjas it could be literally anything. I can even make myself giggle if I imagine something funny, which could be just about anything that’s stupidly random, I have some sort of the so call gen z humor.
This ability bugs me even when I’m trying to sleep, with my head imaging all sorts of things constantly it’s hard to rest my mind. I’ll have to spend at least 10 mins rolling in bed every night to fall asleep, but that’s only because I’m always sleepy. I have a really bad sleep schedule.
I don’t have a lot of friends, none even. Yet I’m quite talkative in a conversation. So I like to talk to myself a lot when I’m alone, almost to the point where it’s like talking to imaginary friends, I just haven’t come up with names for them yet. Yes, I do feel lonely sometimes but it does help.
Me being bad in studies and isolated from others really fucked me up, with me getting anxiety and depression occasionally. But don’t worry, it’s not getting worse. And I no longer have any dangerous thoughts which I once had.
Thanks for reading the whole thing internet stranger
|
ADHD
|
So i got diagnosed with ptsd about 3 years ago after i got raped when i was 16.
I’m 24f now and just wanting to know how you all deal with having ptsd.
Where i live no one realy “believes” in mental health issues. I have no one to talk to about it beside my psychiatrist. If i talk about with my friends they make me feel ashamed of it. Like i made it all up in my head.
How do i handle this?
|
ptsd
|
I am going to start my laundry soon but have serious trouble with completing it. How do I manage this? I want to get back to the way kind of was. My OCD has always been severe but these past couple of months it’s been eating me away. I can’t even buy anything from stores because I feel that someone pees in or on the products. If you see my past posts, you can see how much of hell I’ve been in.
|
OCD
|
I was recently diagnosed with OCD at the age of 39.... I never had any symptoms prior. It all started after a panic attack and the word suicide popped in my head. This scared me as my mind was racing and I thought I was going crazy. I never once thought of suicide prior and was scared by the thoughts. I was put on mirtazpine for panic disorder( initial diagnosis), but these panic attack continued, usually about once a week, with the word suicide. I usually didn't dwell on the suicide thought. Over the last few months my medication was increased, and I have started ERP but with suicide thoughts have been relentless 24/7. They are intrusive as I don't want them and don't want to hurt myself. I have seen many people post that a certain medication made them suicidal, I just wonder if my 24/7 intrusive thoughts are my OCD or if they are from the medication dose increase.... It just seemed like I didn't obsess over the thoughts when my medication was lower. The medication is definitely helping with my anxiety on the other hand.
My question to people that took a medication that made them suicidal, did the thoughts feel intrusive or were they more of an ideation.....
|
OCD
|
Hello! I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was a kid, nowadays, I'm looking to get my driver's license but i'm afraid that my ADHD can be a problem while driving, specially manual shift cars.
If you have ADHD: Do you drive? It affects you?
(English is not my native language, sorry if you saw any grammar errors)
|
ADHD
|
edit: thanks for the upvotes and the comments, you guys truly made me feel less alone. i really appreciate it (:
i hope to god this is an actual trait of adhd'ers and i'm not just being a crybaby.
but, i've noticed my (what i think is) RSD makes it extremely hard for me to argue/debate with others. a few hours ago i was giving my reasons as to why i didn't like a certain film; my friend disagreed and gave his own opinions.
he is much more articulated than i am so compared to my reasons, he seems like he actually knows what he's talking about. this happens with nearly everyone i debate with. it just makes me feel incredibly stupid and i end up just cutting the conversation off or pretending to agree that i was in the wrong. i always feel like crying afterwards.
it makes me wish that i could be able to speak clearly and organize my thoughts properly like everyone else; maybe then people would agree with me?
anyway just looking if anyone else feels the same sometimes. thanks for reading.
|
ADHD
|
So like, you know those "satisfying" videos of people running things over with their cars? Yeah I'm having thoughts about it being my head infront of the tires, also had a thought of pushing someone infront of a car.
The usual random stabbing myself or someone else in middle of night are annoying.
I feel like before I knew about having ocd(I mean looking back before I realized, I think I had suspected it) it wasn't as bad as it is now.
|
OCD
|
It can be any issue and any opinion and it's so distressing. Lately it's with transgender related issues, like what is the least transphobic opinions to have on different things and such. I try so hard to just disengage from any and all discouse but it's so hard.
|
OCD
|
So since around 2020 I've been pretty depressed, but I have a lot of stuff from 2016-2019 that constantly reminds me of how my life sucks and it will never be as good as it used to be. I'm still relatively young. near reddit rule breaking young. It's messing up my memories as an adult when I'm not a child anymore. My future has been potentially ruined, i'm poor and my household is as abusive as ever and everything sucks. my life could be okay though, it's just trying to get into things you used to like, and you hear the intro and get sad and depressed to the game you haven't played in a long time because depression rendered you rather lifeless and unable to experience much emotion.
|
depression
|
I was diagnosed with harm ocd 3 weeks ago. Here’s my story so far, so about the beginning of may I saw a video of a man killing a cop and I got angry on why he killed him. The next day I had a dream where I think shot up a building and killing my dad, which my mom called me the devil. I woke up thinking I was gonna end my parents life and it got so bad where I was panicking and stressing that I was gonna do it like I was gonna kill them without under my control. It chilled out when I was walking around calming myself down. And for about a month it was just me thinking about harming my parents with the gun under my dads bed. Now during the beginning of June I was at Walmart and then I had the thought of like if I shot that person would I feel bad or if I had a gun would I shoot that person and everytime my mind would say u would I would stress and keep asking it until I said no. And then now I can’t look at a person without thinking about killing them. I saw a post saying that serial killers start off by killing animals so I obviously then had intrusive thoughts about hurting animals. Like sometimes I can be petting my dog and I have the Awful urge to choke it. I seen a therapist and say I have harm ocd. I just want to make sure you guys if it sounds like harm ocd. Because lately Idk if I’m lacking empathy or guilt but it’s like if I shot my dad or mom or a store would I feel bad or guilt? Would I feel bad if an animal got hurt. Would I feel bad if a mad shooting happened. and everytime if my mind says I wouldn’t I would starting getting anxious and like a weird feeling in my chest. Like this sucks I feel like I’m going to become a mass killer or just shoot up a store I’m sorry for sounding scary or a threat
|
OCD
|
I am friendly with a few co-workers one who I know from school who used to bully me but said it was banter. They tease each other and make weird noises at each other and laugh and do the same to me I play along but don't do it myself.
When I was walking out of work they drove past and honked until I looked at their car as they drove by. It left me with ringing ears afterwards.
How do I tell if they actually like me or if this is another elaborate plot to hurt me. God I hate my autism makes me wanna kill myself sometimes.
|
aspergers
|
Previously on Vyvanse which worked very well for me but I work shifts and was looking for something that wears off a little more quickly. Doc put me on Dexedrine (10mg).
For the time that I've had it, I take it as soon as I wake up, and then 16 hours or so later when it's bedtime, it OUGHT to be all out of my system, but I'm still experiencing bizarre side effects at bedtime. As I'm drifting off, I start hyperfocusing on something in my imagination (driving or walking to a certain destination, doing a puzzle, fighting enemies in a video game, etc) that goes on for HOURS. I don't even realize I'm just thinking about driving around downtown aimlessly until I startle and realize the sun is coming up! I've had two completely sleepless nights in a week and then I spoke with my doc at a follow-up he said to drop down to 5mg, so I tried that.
For two days the small dose seemed fine. Then on day 3 I had the weird effects again. I had had some caffeine but not really close to the time I took medication, and not a lot, either. It's MOSTLY okay on the 5mg but after having a night that was crazy right before I had a very busy day, I'm worried about staying with Dexedrine. Does anyone have any ideas what might be going on?
|
ADHD
|
If you where given a pill to take away your autism/aspergers would you take it?
|
aspergers
|
Tw: mentions of de4th.
I was reading this one novel where this one agent was investigating a murder scene. They described someone's death in a brutal way. I felt disturbed, but at the same time... it felt like I was going to smile? After that I tried to smile but the feeling wasn't the same. What does this mean? I still have this feeling. It's been lasting for a little bit now. It kinda feels the same as the feeling you get in your stomach when you get excited. I wasn't smiling, it just felt a bit like it. I'm afraid I may be crazy. I d
|
OCD
|
I was homeless 6 years ago with my twin brother, we were both strung out, sleeping on benches.This random guy attacked me while I was asleep with a machete. I woke up and my hand was hanging off and my left eye was hanging out of its socket.I wandered around and basically waited to bleed out. It was awful. I survived, because the police saw me wandering around.
This was the most terrifying experience and it seriously fucked me up in the head. I don't know how to deal with it. A month after this happened my brother passed away from overdosing on his medication. Ever since this, I haven't been the same. How do you guys deal with your trauma? Cause I am seriously having a rough time and need help. I am sorry if the format sucks, I am on mobile.
This shit has seriously ruined me.
|
ptsd
|
I have no friends, no partner, no family (they're toxic anyways so not like I'm entirely missing anything but it just proves how worthless I really am to them).
And at work yesterday I got so depressed that I fell asleep for 2 hours (office job). Boss woke me up. I'm probably on the verge of being fired now. I work 2 days a week and can barely handle it.
This is the last fucking straw. I can't wait to end it. I have to do it before August. That's when I turn 23 and I can't live to be crying on my birthday all alone again. Last year I got screamed at, cussed out and told to die by grandmother on my birthday. I'm still writing my suicide note. 7 pages long so far..I'm adding everything they did wrong. I'm just done.
|
depression
|
Bullshit.
Some people are permanently poor, some are permanently lonely, etc. But If I say: "Well, If nothing is permanent, you will stop being rich at some point", people will get mad.
|
depression
|
Always feel so lonely and out of place. I have friends, I love them, they're good friends. But I just feel so alone, and like an outcast no matter where I am. Like people will be talking to friends of mine and they just ignore me, I mean it's my own fault, I don't really talk to people. Social interaction is hard lol
|
depression
|
Driving down a windy long road this afternoon and PTSD showed up again. My wife and I were driving peacefully listening to music on a randomly sunny Sunday afternoon when I turned the slight corner and my brain took over. Ahead of us roughly 100 meters was a Chevy suburban with all doors open and a man standing in the road with his back to us. Middle of nowhere. The vehicle was pulled completely off the road to the right and the man standing with his back to us in the center of the road on the yellow line. I immediately switched our vehicle into reverse and gunned it back maybe 50 feet and agressively made a turn around in the road and accelerated back the other way down the road. I was reaching for a firearm as I drove fast even though I haven't owned a firearm in 7 years. The whole drive back I was speeding and telling my wife what a carjacking looks like and how a robbery happens and what it feels like. I even thanked the Lord for the gut feeling that made me turn around. My wife very calmly informed me a time later after I'd calmed down that what we encountered was a man with a tripod and a nice ass camera taking a photo of the picturesque road a snowtopped mountains behind them glistening in the sun. I hate PTSD. From the bottom of my heart, I absolutely hate PTSD. I want more than anything in life to look at people and feel they don't intend violence on me.
|
ptsd
|
So my wife left me for someone else, about a year and a half ago now...
When this whole situation happened, I changed the 4 digit pin to access my phone. So the thing is, I'm a creature of habit. Anytime in my life that I've needed to use a 4 digit pin, it's always been the same. I was with my ex for 17 years. She knows the pin, most people close to me would probably know it, or be able to guess it with a little detective work.
The last year and a half of my life has been extremely challenging. And I think I'm just gonna change my pin back. To the one that people know. Just in case.
|
depression
|
My (34F) wife (36F) has burned out on making our meal plan each week (finding recipes, figuring out good days for cooking vs leftovers, planning snacks, adding prep notes, making grocery list, etc) and has asked me to do it instead.
I’ve been doing it for about six weeks straight now, and every week I am late and I am wrong. I have to get it done before the end of Thursday, so we can maybe get some of it delivered by Saturday, but I am often desperately compiling the grocery list on Friday night, the night before I do the grocery shopping. (My wife usually does the mental labor of planning stuff and reminding me, and I do the physical stuff like cooking and cleaning. This used to work well for our disabilities.)
I make ‘illogical’ decisions about what meals to have that don’t work with what we already have/how much time we have/how much the budget is/how many calories or carbs it is. (She has dietary restrictions on doctor’s orders, which is why we need a strict meal plan.)
I make mistakes in serving size, or leave things off the grocery list, or many other mistakes.
Every week, she stresses out because she has to check my work. But she’s too stressed to take it back on. She is dealing with a lot of stress through work, family health, etc. Our relationship is not very strong. Our mental health is abysmal. I am trying to do my best, but I am also very stressed at work, and rarely have the focus or function to sit and work out what we should eat. I can’t remember half of the meals we have had; even if I wanted to make a list, I can’t remember anything to put on it.
I don’t know how to defend myself here. She seems to think I am doing it badly because I don’t want to do it anymore. But I am honestly trying really hard. I know she has disabilities too, and she isn’t neurotypical either. But I don’t know how to get better at this.
|
ADHD
|
I’ve been having suicidal thoughts I overthink like crazy and I’m just upset all the time all my happiness is temporary and I have no one to talk too, I’m scared if I take this job it will unveil new stress related problems and more anxiety and panic attacks I don’t know if I’m ready, I’m only 16 I don’t have bills or money to pay out this job isn’t a must but will I regret it I just want someone to tell me what to do??
|
depression
|
Right, bit of history....I suffer from depression, anxiety and paranoia. To cope cope I have drank alcohol to dangerous amounts and smoked to the point it's became a family issue.
When I drink, I drink whiskey, wine, vodka, shots and all things found on the back wall (basically anything strong). And I have a history a history of smoking cigarettes and E-cigarettes).My extreme drinking and smoking has led to arguments with my family; it's been so bad I've almost been kicked out of the house.
I struggle to get out as I can count my list of friends on one hand. One friend lives 400 miles away after his parents were divorced and the other travels due to university. I'm left on my own and have to entertain myself, this involves lonely cinema trips and looking for things to do on the MEETUP app (although I never attended anything).
Suffering from constant suicidal thoughts, and one attempt; I question....what do I do? I read books, write my thoughts in the form of rhymes and attend the gym. But no matter what I do I can't shake the feeling that I don't belong....that I'm the black sheep of the family....that I'm a FAILURE.
I've been advised to talk to a theorists, or talk to someone; but I don't want to because I'm sacred of what gets said and what I may learn about myself & my mental state
FFS I just get sick of trying, and don't know how to go about of things. What TF do I do?
|
depression
|
So recently I’ve been really upset about the fact that I usually never pick up my dog poop. It was something I always did and always just assumed wasn’t that bad, it would be used to fertilize the ground. I know now that it’s really not the best thing to do and when looking online to see if it was really bad it seems like a lot of people find it to be really terrible behavior. All this to say I’ve been distraught about not cleaning up after my dog. I feel awful, like I have to punish myself for doing this. I try to tell myself that I need to just do better going forward but I can’t seem to forgive myself for what I’ve done. I’m worried that I could have hurt someone because of what I did and I can’t move on from it. I don’t know how to come back from this. How do I move on? Can I even move on, or is it so bad that I have to punish myself?
Thank you all who have responded! When re-reading this post just a few days later, I’m honestly embarrassed by how worried I was! OCD really just makes you feel awful for literally anything, as you can see from this post. Thanks again everyone!
|
OCD
|
I would like to preface this post by stating that I understand how privileged I am to have been given the opportunity to travel and live in many different countries. That being said as a Greek/Spaniard born in Texas and raised in the UK and India , I felt not only isolated but discriminated against/ ostracized from the wider American culture. I went to the American International School of Chennai and ACS Egham. Transferring to the United States at the age of 16 was somewhat of a culture shock especially in regards to the importance or should I say the necessity of having a motor vehicle in the South West of the country. I suppose what I am trying to ask this community is how do I fit in better with my peers without also losing the experiences and morals that I have. If you find this to be pretentious or spoiled I am sorry sometimes I too feel that I am those things. It really just has come to the point that I don't know if I can make a life for myself in this country and I will accept any and all advice be it constructive or not.
|
aspergers
|
Even though I've been professionally diagnosed, I still have this fear that I'm faking it. What if I unconsciously just make myself have the symptoms because I know what they are or what if what happened to me wasn't actually even that bad? What if I'm just over-reacting?
Does anyone know if this is a common thing with PTSD? Does anyone else experience this?
|
ptsd
|
I'm about a year on prozac right now, and last year I went through my first round of CBT. It has helped quite a bit, and I am now able to really live life happily. I'm going through group CBT in a couple of days. I can't help but wonder how much better i really can get. Does anyone have experience of going through CBT when you have somewhat recovered/are in remission?
|
OCD
|
I can't leave the house, stay over at friends houses, be in friends' cars, or go on dates unless the person goes to my house. Anyone else overcome these things? I really want to be able to relax in company of people who aren't my immediate family and relax when I'm being driven anywhere by anyone who isn't my Mom, Dad, or Sister.
|
ptsd
|
ive been suspicious recently that i have some repressed trauma from my childhood. nearly two years [3rd grade, parts of 1st grade] i have little to no memories of. i have triggers that i dont know the origins of. namely hands covering my face, large male hands, hands touching my waist, hands touching me between the legs, raised male voices. i understand with the shouting because of family with anger problems, but the rest is a little off.
ive been to several therapists from the time i was 8 to now. didnt stay with any for very long. mom disproves of my most recent, which is the first that ive chosen myself. the last i went to had a questionnaire thing to fill out, which she watched me do. at one point it asks if ive experienced sexual trauma. when my mom read it, she was very mocking and intrusive. "well, did you? BE HONEST!" of course i said no.
i was never into sex as a teenager. a so-called late bloomer. my partner and i recently started having sex. i was very hesitant but it was normal, mostly. i have trouble doing certain things, it feels disgusting, like being forced to touch something dirty or grotesque. and i have trouble being on the receiving end, it feels like i dont deserve it. like i should be forced into doing it, i shouldnt be enjoying it. if i enjoy it, im disgusting, ugly. i have to be in a really weird state of mind to enjoy everything.
i dont feel normal. i feel like i wasnt meant to enjoy sex. idk i dont wanna ramble on further or get too personal, bc i know certain events have fucked with my mentality and self esteem, but whatever. most of my concerns are with these weird puzzle pieces and how they fit together, and what i can do to feel normal now as a young adult.
|
ptsd
|
I'm 100% sure there's a better way to posit that question but my brain won't do it lol so I'll just expand on it. Also this may not be an ADHD-specific question? But I figured it has a big basis in rejection sensitivity so...?
I've never been the, "Oh yeah? Well I'll show YOU!" type of person. "Tough love" and all that weird reverse psychology baloney has never worked on me. If you're mean to me, I'm hurt and I will add it to the pile of "reasons why I suck" and carry it forever.
So imagine you've got some new thing or habit you're hype about, like going to the gym or finding a new job or creating a new habit to help cope with your ADHD, and you tell someone (usually someone whose opinion you value) and they're like "yeah sure buddy. glhf" but like -sarcastically-. And maybe they aren't intending to be mean, maybe they're trying to be silly because they know you've got big ADHD energy, but ultimately the point is, they don't think you can do it. And so you're like "oh....well if YOU don't think I can...I guess I can't." And then you give up the whole idea and feel mega crappy. Like a deflated balloon.
Does that happen to anyone? And if you've managed to let go of it, HOW. Tell me your secrets you absolute wizard lol
|
ADHD
|
Why is everyone who I meet just the most rudest and coldest people ever all I want is atleast one caring friend atleast one fucking caring friend or just someone who is literally nice I feel so abandoned and alone.
|
depression
|
I’m a 17f and I have just been medicated fir avout 2 weeks. I was diagnosed last june. The medication has already improved so much. My thoughts are much more clear and I can concentrate a lot better. If this is what life was supposed to be like then I have been missing out by a lot.
I’m so lucky to be diagnosed and medicated. It is defintely worth it to get diagnosed!!! It’s just ashame it took 17 years for it to be even considered.
|
ADHD
|
Referring to nightmares, night terrors, waking up in a panic, etc
Basically, I’ve started not being able to remember my dreams. If I do, they’re disturbing but abstract and not at all about trauma. For example, fleeing my home for some unknown reason but being unable to find my keys, I’ve had that one a few times.
It wasn’t hot where I live last night and I don’t remember my dream but I woke up around midnight feeling disoriented, panicked, and absolutely DRENCHED in sweat. I’m talking like, showered-in-my-clothes drenched.
I’m basically constantly living in denial but it’s pretty undeniable that it’s ptsd-related. I’m just frustrated. I’m tired of thinking I’m doing better and then backsliding again.
|
ptsd
|
ughhhh ive been in recovery for a restrictive ed for the past couple years but recently I have been fluctuating in weight and idk how I look like anymore. I just ate pizza and wings and theoretically I should not feel guilty but I do … and I feel very inclined to restrict/body check all over again
|
depression
|
Watching the Olympics has made me remember a question I've always had about professional sports - **how do athletes not get distracted by the stadium music?** If they like it, how do they not dance, and if they hate it, how does it not sour their focus and distract them from their plans?
But now that I know autism is a thing, I know the answer. If they're NT, they can easily filter it out and focus. But if a coffee shop plays a rare song I like, I lose the conversation thread I had with a friend and need to mention my good fortune. If a beloved song comes on while I'm rock climbing, it re-centers and boosts me. If I'm at a party and a song I hate comes on, I leave the dance floor.
This also makes me realize why I appreciate the "walk-up song" tradition in baseball - you get to choose your hype up music, whatever you need to support your mood at the plate. I have a whole "Batter Up" playlist of songs I'd choose (my top 4: electric lady by janelle monae, confident by demi lovato, timebomb by beck, sorry sorry by super junior).
tl;dr i just realized another problem/benefit that NT people don't have. thoughts?
|
aspergers
|
I got with my ex when I was 19 and he was 16 and I am older now obviously realizing that was weird now my brain won't stop reminding me he was cute back then and last night my brain was like do it think about it and I fell into doing and feel like shit. Can someone give advice on what I should do? Why did my brain do this?
|
OCD
|
Going to schedule a call, was wondering if anyone has tried it and what it was like. Thank you!
|
OCD
|
It just seems dumb to use the empathy I have when I have alexithima and it complicates things anyway
Especially when I don’t take my depression meds Other people seem so pathetic sometimes to let words bother them.
It gets to a point sometimes that everything I say is just to get them logistically to shut up with whatever I have to say.
This one guy at work was making fun of my disability subtly and I ended up asking him if he was abused as a kid and if the kind of guys that he dates beat his ass on the regular.
He’s really bitchy and smaller than me but so annoying. He has made fun of how slow I am at work, how I don’t get things the first couple of times. That I look like an ogre.
I feel it was a justified way to shut him up. I also said some thing about how 5% of the LGBTQ community isn’t really gay and was actually molested growing up so they think they are. And that he was probably molested.
What are your thoughts?
|
aspergers
|
I have just always felt like an "it." Not in a bad way, but just not as a he/she. I feel so alien when I look into the mirror because it's not who I envisioned to see. I used to think I was attracted to twinks, but no, I wanted to *be* one.
|
aspergers
|
Everyday I wake up thinking about why I have to keep going. I’m losing all my hope. I can’t even look in the mirror without thinking about everything I hate about myself
|
depression
|
I keep being told to just accept the thoughts being here and just let them be. But I just f**king can’t. It just cannot be done for me.
Everything I try to do turns out to be some kind of compulsion and harms my mental health even further. I just can’t keep doing this it’s impossible. I’m such a monster. I feel like the worst human in history.
Why me? I’ve done nothing wrong in my life that can cause me to have ocd and yet I do. I no longer feel excited for anything. I just want to know if this will stop and I can finally be happy
|
OCD
|
Always had these stupid thoughts get into my head whenever I could do something to kill myself. For example, a sky train comes by and I’ll just be like why don’t I just jump, all the pain will go away.
I know that’s not practical at all and I realize that although I’m the one who’s pain ends, I’m just transferring that pain to others once I’m gone. I always feel alone all the time but I do know there are people who would be there for me. But it’s like you can’t just expect them to drop everything just to help with the mess of a person that you are.
I just wanna get these thoughts out of my head cause I feel if something completely goes wrong , I’ll be much more inclined to go through with it because all it really is is one step and it’s over.
But I don’t know, I’m just so sick of doing drugs to help with this pain. And I don’t even have anything to be depressed about which makes me feel like an even bigger piece of shit because I do have a good life that others would kill to have but I just feel like an ungrateful piece of shit because of it.
I had a relationship with a girl earlier in the fall which had me feeling happiest I felt in a long time. But I was Muslim and she was Christian so it was already tough and she was also my first ever girlfriend. Surprisingly she made the first move too. We even lost both of our virginity to each other . But she later asked me whether I could come have dinner with her family about only a month into our relationship and me, smoking a joint as she asked me this no more than 15 minutes after we’ve just had sex and I go (I was high as hell) “we’re not even that serious.” Mind you it hasn’t even been 15 minutes and I’m butt ass naked in her bed. Well she starts crying and tells me to leave which I do. The next day I basically apologize and and she starts telling me how I don’t share anything how I’m so closed off and I was never like this before we dated.
But I was. She just didn’t meet the real me yet. I basically tell her that although I cared about her I had to let her go since I was just going to drag her down with me and infect her with the black hole in my life. We ended up hugging and she gave me a kiss saying she hoped I found help and she was always going to be there for me. A week later her friend calls me saying I’m a piece of shit and that she hasn’t left the house in a week and she’s a mess. I had thought we were done and I was trying to move on but hearing this just made me feel like an even bigger piece of shit than I already do.
This isn’t really to anyone in particular but I thought I’d share my shit hoping someone maybe has the same kind of thoughts come into their head and how they coped with it. Like I said I just want to be happy again
|
depression
|
This might dont even have connection with ocd. But i think i have a memory in the past, that i did a bad thing to a cat. Its been stuck in my head. Is this real? I keep questioning myself. I think its real and i dont think its real.. is this kind of mental health problem?
|
OCD
|
Hello,
I’ve recently read that health anxiety is part of OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder.
My therapist also identified this when I described her all of my “symptoms” - constantly palpating, then seaking reassureance that I am fine, then feeling a short relief just to go back to palpating again or to worry about something new, health related.
I read that the best method to beat health anxiety is ERP - exposure response prevention.
From what I understood, it means that when you feel the urge to check yourself or to seek reassurence, you accept this feeling, you live with it and you don’t follow it.
The more you resist, the more the anxiety will start to fade.
I tried it today when I felt a huge urge to check my lymph nodes, and I failed :(
Sometimes, I succeed, I tell myself that I am not a doctor, I don’t know what I am palpating, so it’s useless to touch myself.
I have ups and downs.
My question is - what do you guys do when you get that urge to check yourself or to seek reassurence again? How do you get yourself distracted?
I started my health anxiety last year in December. Since then, my life is on hold because of my constant thoughts.
Thank you, I appreciate your responses ☺️
|
OCD
|
Since I was young I developed some habits and "compulsions" to avoid and make my fear against anything disappear.
I started listening to this voice in my head that told me exactly what I wanted to hear and made me feel better, but as he came to life I started forcing myself to do some stupid stuff like touching things again because I touched them with the left hand/leg, or feeling the need to look at the light bulb before I turn it off, or pointing the soup spoon to other direction because something told me that the one that it points at is going to die, and voices started to force me to decide who I like better and some sick thoughts that made me feel like a psychopath.
There are a lot more stupid things that I do but I think it's enough, tell me if you want me to tell a bit more about the symptoms, thank you
|
OCD
|
I stppped taking celexa back in March and I never really had any issues. Well I wanted to start again and took 1 last night (10mg). I am feeling super weird. Weird buzzing feeling all over body, very anxious, no appetite. Is this normal? Just after one time? When will this go away?
|
depression
|
Guess I lost the genetic dice roll. Cause I’m completely fucked and nothing helps. CBT, DBT, EMDR, all the therapies, they’re all just fucking words. Just useless words. Words can’t help. Meds can’t help either. Been on dozens and dozens of the fucking things. They do nothing, nothing at all. Not even one measly fucking side effect. Doesn’t matter if it’s antidepressants, antipsychotics, mood stabilisers, they’re all the fucking same, they do nothing.
Therapists just end up throwing their hands up after long enough. They can’t help me, don’t know how I guess. Think my GP is getting to the same point after years of throwing meds at me and having them do nothing. Wonder if she even believes me.
It’s not like I don’t try. I still manage to exercise every day, still manage to cook for myself even though I never want to eat, still manage to at least try to do hobbies, even if they just frustrate me too much now cause I can’t focus. I’ve really tried all the suggestions too. Meditation, mindfulness, breathing exercises, journaling and all that shit, I mean fuck, I *wanted* it work. But none of it fucking does. Not one bit.
Kicked my addictions too, for all the fucking good it did. Haven’t done drugs for 6 months, haven’t self-harmed for 4 months, haven’t had alcohol for 3 months. Doesn’t make any difference though. Only became an addict cause none of treatments were working. Just said fuck it and started set-medicating instead. Did it help? Not really, but it did make me numb. Liked being numb. Passed the time at least, made me feel like I didn’t have to rush towards dying, might just be able to wait for it to happen on it own. But now I’ve stopped cause two people I’ll tentatively say were friends convinced me to. But then they fucked off outta my life and I relapsed. Didn’t last long cause now it pumps me full of so much guilt I don’t even have the option of getting numb anymore. So I’ve stopped for good, I guess. And people pat you on the fucking back over it, acting like it matters at all. Acting like you’re out the other side of hell, even though you’re stuck in the worst hell you’ve ever been in cause now you have zero solutions just like before, but less options. Tell you “you should be proud” like you can even feel proud. Like them saying they’re proud or that you should be means anything to me, like it fucking translates at all.
Used to at least want things. Now I don’t even fucking care. Used to want to have someone to end the crippling fucking loneliness. Knew I couldn’t get it because I can’t connect with people, don’t even know why, just can’t. Knew people always just made me feel *more* alone. But I still wanted *someone*, even if it was a pipe dream. But now I don’t fucking care. Sounds like effort, energy I just don’t have. Couldn’t have friends or a girlfriend anyway. Too unstable. Who wants to be around someone who can go from being fine the last time you spoke to them to being completely fucked and suicidal the next? And even when I’m “fine” now, it just an act, a fucking facade that eventually I won’t have the energy to keep up. Been years since I was anything but horrifically, suicidally depressed. Probably good I can’t connect to people.
Anyway don’t even know why I’m bothering to type this. No therapist or medication can help, no one here’s gonna be able to. Guess it’s just to vent. To just announce I’ve given up. Tried to get my meds today, got told they’re “not covered” by my pension card. Would’ve cost me $40 for 28 days worth. Can’t afford it. Just fucking broke. One of the side effects of my diseased brain, can’t hold down a fucking job. Working for more than about 6 months either makes me so depressed I start self-harming, drinking or having suicide attempts, makes me catatonically dissociative so I barely know where I am and can’t hear people talking to me or it just puts me into a full-blown psychosis. Either way, the result is the same, either get fired or have to quit. So my bank accounts are empty from all the failed treatments and worthless medications. So I’m just stopping, don’t really have a choice. Just not renewing my scripts. Coming off the meds, don’t give a shit if I’m on the highest dose for both. Don’t have a choice. I just fucking give up.
|
ptsd
|
My family always tells me I look weird doing it, and my dentist started getting concerned lol. Anyone else do this? Is it a form of stimming or am I just weird? (I mean we're all weird cause we're here but yeah)
|
aspergers
|
I’ve been on Adzenys to treat ADHD for a few years after briefly trying Vyvanse. The cost has always been a headache with my insurance providers and pharmacies over the years. Every time I ask about just switching to Adderall, since it’s cheaper and more readily available/supported by more insurance companies, my doctor blows me off, rattling off things like “you have to take it twice a day, you could forget a dose,” etc. So, I’ve stopped bringing it up.
For the past year or so it’s been relatively painless using a coupon, but I have to drive pretty far out of my way to a pharmacy that provides it at a cheaper price. The last couple of times I’ve had to get it refilled, there’s been a technical issue at the pharmacy, making the long trip out there all the more frustrating. My new job isn’t very flexible, and I have two young kids to pick up/take to school. I keep coming back to “this would just be so much easier if I were prescribed generic Adderall” in my head. This just happened again, I have a ton of very cerebral work to do for my job the next few days, and I just feel so discouraged and helpless right now.
I did some research on some website awhile ago that shows you what pharmaceutical companies have paid doctors over the years, and my doctor seems to get a lot of money from the producers of Adzenys. I like my doctor, but should I be concerned that the only reason he’s keeping me on this (highly inconvenient to get) medication is because of kickbacks or something? It just seems so odd that he’s vehemently against the easier/cheaper option.
Thanks for reading.
|
ADHD
|
I've been putting my room at a disturbing There-is-everything-here state, but since my family's moving and I'm going to get a part time job as a student on January, I thought maybe I wanted to decorate my new room.
I was confused by what I should be doing first, then I thought I should probably choose a theme. The problem- I had so many themes that I wanted to try out and couldn't settle on one. I first wanted to go with something botanical, then my brain went
"Oh hey but I want some wooden furniture in there as well!"
Okay, that works with the botanical theme
"BUT I also want to try out neon stuff like a streamer"
Aaaaand that would not work
"Oh yeah and also throw in some turquoise color in there"
And so on...
Even if I did pick one theme, I'm pretty sure I will be stuck next on choosing every single object and decoration :))))
This is why I always can't get things done haha.
|
ADHD
|
I’ve noticed a lot of posts on here about losing phones and keys and stuff so I want to share what I have learned and found useful.
Android users: if you lose your phone you can go to google.com on your computer, make sure you are logged in to your account, and search “find my phone” and track it or force it to ring from there.
iPhone users: if you’ve lost your phone you can go to iCloud.com, sign in to your apple account, and use Find My to track your phone and make it ring.
Lost items: so of course Apple has come out with their own tag device BUT there are cheaper alternatives. Tile and Chipolo are two brands that come to mind. Both brands make tags you can hang on your keys, bags, water bottle, whatever or card shaped ones for wallets. These devices also work in reverse so if you have your keys but lose your phone, you can double press on the tab and force ring your phone.
Personally I use Chipolo and if I walk too far from an item with a tag I get a notification. I left my water bottle in a work vehicle once and nearly lost it forever. I would have lost it had I not had a tag attached to it and my phone told me I left it somewhere.
|
ADHD
|
[Here's last week's thread](https://old.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/lchev2/hows_your_week_going_so_far_weekly_post_155/)
Suggestions are ALWAYS welcome on how to improve the threads I post at any time. After all, I do this because the community wants these threads to exist, and I take the time out of my day (every Thursday and Saturday) to post the weekly threads, to ensure the community gets what it feels it needs.
**So, continuing with the theme... /r/aspergers, How is your week going so far?** :)
|
aspergers
|
Yet more medico-legal loopholes to be aware of.
>In an administrative complaint, school officials said marijuana is not allowed in the Marion County school system and Hickman never notified his boss that he uses the drug as a controlled substance.
>
>Administrators also said that medical marijuana may be legal in the state of Florida but it is still considered illegal on the federal level, according to WESH.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/teacher-suspended-over-medical-marijuana-use-says-he-s-ex-n1117776
|
ptsd
|
I had a moment a year ago when I went into flight or fight. There were people in the vicinity of me who were all plotting against me. At the time I had no clue what was going to happen, but now I see it was a fear/scare tactic that messed me up. I made a phone call to family telling them to come back to me and stated I thought I was going to be shot, I was scared, I was in flight or flight, and I was crying for help just with the comment of what I thought was happening, and there were warnings of people not involved that I didn’t know were warnings of what was outside.
when I re tell the story I get a smell. A smell of a lotion I use and associate with the main person who planned the attack against me, I recognize him. I did like him and then this happens. I know it’s the smell of a lotion I really love, but the fact I smell is it a good but bad thing? Or is it both? It does trigger me feeling I’m in the moment again with flight or flight. But I can see this being a 50/50 issue hopefully not to get worse.
At least if it’s discontinued and it isn’t a problem I’ll always have the smell. For now?
|
ptsd
|
I have somatic ocd and I feel scared of keeping my eyes closed for a long time for some reason. I focus on the darkness and feel like I can’t think and unfocus on the darkness. Even though I can. Who gets scared of closing their eyes??? I feel helpless what is this?? Anyone ever experience this? Seeing a therapist who worked with the most severe cases of ocd in an inpatient clinic for ocd and got them symptom free so I know I can get better but this symptom is weird. Is it even ocd? I’m sure it is. I hyper focus on my breathing and blinking and all that but why am I scared of closing my eyes? It’s making me miserable. I’m terrified of going to sleep and even feel suicidal. Please help I need hope
|
OCD
|
I just moved into a new house, one of the safest places i've ever lived. The first night alone it hurt to realize how different this was from all of the previous places i've lived. No one was trying to hurt me in any way and I actually have a lock on my bedroom door now, preventing anyone from hurting me. But now that I spend a majority of my time alone, i'm realizing that a lot of horrible thoughts are coming back, regardless how safe I am. All of the boredom allows my brain to wander and freak out. I have nightmares several days a week every week and have been for the past four years. Sleeping is the hardest part of every day, whenever I notice its midnight, I think to myself "great. gotta deal with this again". Obviously, if I describe these concerns to friends they go "just take melatonin and exercise", which I do. it doesn't work. The melatonin just gets me to fall asleep easily but I still wake up 4-5 times every night. It hurts me that even in this new safe place, 2 hours away from where the trauma occurred, I still can't sleep. The insomnia made sense when I was living in the same town as my abusers, but now it still follows me. It's exhausting. It's so exhausting to explain to everyone that I just can't sleep, and haven't been able to for such a long time. They just don't get what its like to have the very likely potential that your brain is going to bring up something you don't want to think about when you're trying to rest. Out of all the bullshit that trauma does to me, I think that the inability to sleep is the worst part, because it takes a toll on me every single day.
|
ptsd
|
I’ve always struggled with putting myself first when I need to, or being a little bit selfish. I just broke up with my girlfriend the other day and I feel so terrible about it. I keep having intrusive thoughts about it and it’s torturing me. Deep down I know I didn’t feel right in the relationship, but I still really care for her and the last thing I want is to hurt her.
Based on my experience with her, I’d say she she is emotionally immature. She’s never had a boyfriend before me.
Over the last month, I felt more and more brushed off by her for a few different reasons. This is going to sound ironic, because it’s usually the other way around, but she became super into video games (I built her a PC) while I only like to PC game on occasion, and I have other hobbies that I’ve taken up, such as music and playing the guitar. I was definitely more into video games in high school but I don’t mind it from time to time nowadays. Anyway, she would invite me to play often and I would, mainly because I enjoyed her company and enjoyed talking to her, even though I didn’t take our games too seriously. After a while, she stopped inviting me more and more and she would make plans with her other friends online (who I’ve met).
We had plans one thursday, but she cancelled a few days prior because she was stressed about a final project she had and she got an extension on it until Thursday, meaning she couldn’t fulfill our plans because she had to finish her assignment. Which I was totally okay with, school comes first. But it really didn’t seem like this assignment was her main reason for cancelling... she was spending a lot of time with her friends online, and spent all of Thursday night online with her friends. I started making comments that we should hop online and play something, and she said “soon” or “eventually” or something to that effect.
When she continued to not ask or invite me, and she continued making other plans, I brought it up in a respectful way. I asked her if everything is okay between us , since she seemed to be making other plans even though I had been trying to initiate. She said that the only times she can interact with her friends are online, and I’m the only person she sees right now (because of COVID-19, we formed a “social bubble”) so she’s trying to spend some time with her friends. She also said she really values the time we have together. And I was totally okay with that, I told her it’s super important to make time for your friends and hobbies.
Anyway, we had plans the following Thursday, which I was really looking forward to. I tried to make it really special for her (bought her and her mum flowers and got her her favourite ice cream the night before). Thursday comes, and hours before she comes over, she tells me she wants to be home earlier than usual because she wants to hop on a game with a friend she met met online, because her friend has been going through a tough time or something. I said okay. When she came over, she was super tired, and ended up falling asleep on me twice while we were watching our show together, which was shitty. She ended up leaving even earlier than she asked (she said she was tired and had a headache) and got home and played her games late into the night. I think the reason she was so tired in the first place is because she was up late doing the same thing the night before.
The next day (Friday), we had a virtual game night planned (about a week in advance) but she cancelled a few days prior because she didn’t “feel like being social in a big group”. I said sure, I understand, no problem. Friday comes, and she breaks off into a smaller group to play a game (that I could have very well been invited to).
I asked her to go on a drive because there was something I wanted to talk about, and she didn’t want to because, I guess she doesn’t like confrontation. She wanted to have this conversation over text. I said sure, and I basically explained to her that I have no problem with you making time for your hobbies and friends, but if it’s at the expense of me and my time, I don’t appreciate that. I also told her that she told me she really valued our time (as mentioned previously), and these instances were making me question that.
It felt like I was met with a bunch of excuses.. her being overwhelmed, and she also said she feels pressure to be open with me and have a deep connection with me and she doesn’t really care about what her friends think, so she’s been spending a lot of time with them as sort of an escape.
I asked if there was anything I did on my end to make her feel overwhelmed or pressured, and she said no. I was just confused. I asked her if she needed some space, and she said yes, because she didn’t want to feel any more overwhelmed with school coming up (which, so do I).
A day later, I break up with her. I just felt like I became less and less of a priority. But I can’t help this feeling of guilt. Feeling like I didn’t try hard enough to make it work. Feeling like I didn’t try to stick through the bad times. I don’t know. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life and these kinds of things have a bad impact on my mental health. I’ve been struggling so much over the last few days. Thankfully my parents are super supportive, and I’ve reached out to a social worker to talk about how I’ve been feeling. I could just use more opinions from people who are objective to the situation.
I really think I was a reasonable guy and I didn’t ask for too much, but I felt brushed off. Can I get some thoughts on this?
I really appreciate anyone who took the time to read this whole thing.
And while I’m open to criticism, please go easy on me, As I’ve really been struggling.
TLDR: I broke up with my girlfriend who made me feel like a second choice, but I still feel guilty and I can’t help it.
|
OCD
|
Hi,
Assuming I'm not the only one who has a thing about stimulation from pretty, bright colours, and random interesting objects. Like seeing stuff in shops and becoming obsessed with it/feeling a need to buy it because something about it is just \*perfect\* and triggers this unexplainable joy. And then stockpiling items in my room, including packaging/small objects/almost trash that I find visually pleasing, especially when combined together.
I feel like sometimes having all my stuff laid out stimulates me to the point where it stops me from cleaning up. Like the chaos is beautiful, and I don't want to throw anything away. Takeout containers give me memories of the food where it's almost like I can taste it again, and the wrappers of new treasures remind me that they're new and special.
Occasionally I start to get this feeling that my space/wardrobe/house is too boring, or I've gotten used to it. This leads to my falling into a funk and having trouble motivating myself to do anything. I feel like I might be living in fear of this, thus I have a constant need to acquire more 'stuff', no matter what it is (but of course this leads to more chaos and trouble in the long run from losing things, tripping over things, etc.).
TL;DR: Do you find pretty stuff, acquire it, and then build a sort of nest of stimulation that you rely on to survive? Is your life focused around that quest, even to your own detriment?
|
ADHD
|
I’ve not seen a therapist for my depression since I was very young. I know I should probably ask for consultations and not just pick one blindly, but I honestly have no idea what kind of questions I should be asking outside of ensuring they’re not going to want to point me to find answers from any kind of religion. Any advice is welcome.
|
depression
|
I grew up on the east coast with LOADS of snow. Every winter my family would go to a tree farm and cut a tree down the day after thanksgiving. On the way home we would get hot chocolate and drive around looking at all the lights in the neighborhood. At home we would set up and decorate the tree with the fire burning and music on the TV. My dad would set up his famous Christmas garden full of houses, fake snow, an ice skating rink and a train! Everyday up until Christmas the house was decked out and it was a wonderful feeling to come home to.
​
This was the only time of year my parents weren't screaming and fighting and the physical violent nature of the typical rest of the year.
​
I have moved to the west coast and live with my now husband and his family. While they are all Christians, this year they didn't even set up the tree. His family just decorates a tiny fake tree and then maybe a small dinner on Christmas. Last year I bought these really cool lights that cast snowflakes below and we hung them above the bed and I also got a small fake tree for our personal ornaments. They were shoved in the closet too high for me to reach even with a ladder so I asked him MULTIPLE times to get it down and to no avail on his part.
​
We currently don't drive nor have a car due to bad circumstance and my depression has fully plummeted. I need some sort of winter in my life as I'm starting to crumble into little pieces.
Has anyone else ever felt this way or have any tips? I'm not sure how much longer I can stand these Winter blues
​
​
TLDR: I GET depression without snow and christmassy stuff around the house and this year is the worst. I'm falling apart and need help.
|
depression
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.