body stringlengths 51 39.8k | subreddit stringclasses 5 values |
|---|---|
I don't think I need to go to much of what I'm going through. The basics /thoughts/images/false attractions/depression.
What I'm having trouble with is Compulsions and groinal responses. I'm constantly "checking" because I'm convinced/fear. I love kids there little people that wonder around seeing All the beauty in the world that us as adults have lost. For that reason alone just thinking of someone hurting a child makes want to an act violent (I can at times be aggressive but that's due to being a victim of attempted murder x2 times) I feel like I'm getting better at times but then it comes back 2hours-1 day later. I also have false attractions because at times it feel so real but when the kid is in grabbing distance or anything like that I the urges and impulses stop one of my compulsions is looking at my nephew as he sleeps as this is what caused the intrusive thoughts and I get a groinal response and want to kill my self I'm going to get help soon but I'm scared that it won't work because I actually am a P. Also I can't tell if it's a desire or an impulse/ocd urge | OCD |
I know some females that are very extrovert and very kind, and my brain kinda find them similar.
My boss and an old teacher of mine are very stylish when talking, and have both nice cars (updated honda civic and jeep compass)
My father is kinda like me: doesn't like to talk much. Prefer to stay alone and silent
And more examples... Do patterns recognition happens with someone else? | aspergers |
when you post on here, what kind (if any) responses help you the most?
I'm asking more like, do you want advice, empathy, co-miserating, tough love? Other?
Would add context, but that doesn't matter really.
If you choose other please elaborate so I can understand better. I'm new to all this. Just looking for perspective. | depression |
So about 2 weeks ago I had surgery to fix a broken bone in my leg, this week I go to have my nose fixed, I literally won't be able to touch my nose or face for a while. This is really aggravating between the stress that my fear of needles give me plus the knowledge that I am going to inevitable touch my nose at some point. | aspergers |
Hi all,
I am looking for a short (about 8 minute) video on YouTube that talks about the symptoms of autism. The video is just a lady (licensed therapist looked to be in the 40s or 50s) talking about the symptoms of autism and she says one thing specifically - So talks about how Aspies can remember a lot of information. And she says something very close to "If you are corrected by someone with Autism 90% of the time they are right. Its interesting how their mind works that way".
I spent 6 hours looking for this video but not able to find it. I told my GF I have autism. She wants to know more and that video explained my symptoms perfectly. Thanks in advance. | aspergers |
So this new trauma happened two and a half days ago, I was completely numb emotionally and didnt even sleep, I went about my day productively, it was on my mind but I could still function, at about 4AM this morning I finally fell asleep and slept until 11AM was productive for about 2 hours before I broke down in tears, my whole body is shaking, i cant focus on anything. I feel hot and dizzy. I literally dont have time to break down emotionally right now. Help.. | ptsd |
I used to survive on the last minute adrenaline rush to get things done. I would stay up all night for papers, studying, cleaning, etc.
However, I no longer feel like I get that rush. I just feel exhausted all the time. I obviously didn’t develop great coping skills.
So, how do you make yourself do the task before 11:00pm? I know I need to “just do it,” but I fail every time with this. | ADHD |
Some have asked me why I just don't bother dating at all, why I don't even attempt it anymore.
Here's why:
I've had several attempts at dating throughout my life. Each one of them extremely unsuccessful and only end up making me feel like crap and/or heartbroken each time. I've literally never had "happiness" from dating that lasted more than a month. Maybe it's the type of people I pursue or maybe there's something wrong with how I date, regardless it's a recipe for emotional pain for me more than it is a recipe for happiness.
I'm bad at dating. I fully understand that. Usually when a problem keeps happening no matter what variables you change, the only variables to look at are the constants and covariants: in this case I'm the "constant".
I also know some of the patterns. I would be one to "rush things" if I'm really excited and interested in a person. I tend to get really passionate and my interest in her often is 10x greater than her interest in me. It doesn't matter who the person is: I only have two modes: passionate and disinterested. Partially this is an ADHD thing (where you hyperfocus on anything or in this case anyone you're passionate about), and partially it's just simply because I've got a lot of love to give. I also just simply do everything with 10x more effort than would be typical for a normal person when I first start on something...not just dating that I do that.
That's not exactly a negative quality and I don't feel that's something I would want to remove or change in myself. I like the fact that I have way more capacity for passion than normal folks. But unless the person I'm dating is the same way, it's more likely not to work out. People assume that too much passion too soon is a bad sign. This the majority of the time....by around the third date my potential for passion starts to become apparent and people cut things off by then.
I've dated a few girls for a couple of months by managing to at least artificially contain any passion to an "acceptable" level; but usually that just ended up with me feeling more heartbroken once my true self is revealed; all that time feeling not like myself and walking on eggshells trying not to do something wrong: I want someone I can be true self with: I don't want to have to roleplay someone else just to convince her to be with me.
I also got tired of giving tons of love but not having nearly as much love reciprocated back. Like it got to the point to where anytime I would be with someone and they did something even remotely thoughtful and loving: like baking me cookies or giving me a small gift or even just simply buying me coffee, or if they told me they rearranged their schedule to make time for me: I would cherish that small drip of affection like it was the rarest thing on earth. I would also take their criticisms as gospel and try to act on any perceived blight on my part in some relentless persuit of perfection: believing I'm always just one bad day away from being dumped: I had to make sure there was no possibility of that I would do everything I can to be as perfect as possible. Needless to say, those eggshells start to hurt after a while: no one can keep up with that stress.
Well fast forward a bit. I'm now 34, and have never really had a true relationship at this point, after almost 15 years of actively trying to find one. I am paranoid about screwing up whenever I go on a date....to the point to where I basically expect all dates to end up with her half heartily saying "let's just be friends" (I've been around long enough to know most women are never sincere about the friendship offer; it's just something they say to cusion the blow). The few dates that have gone on to second dates 90% of the time (and I'm not exaggerating) end up with her saying that she's not sure about me. If it last to a third date well I usually end up cautiously optimistic but 90% of the time that ends up failing too. Something about my personality is revealed or they think I'm too sensitive or something: I don't really know.
What I do know: I know I would be a good partner to someone. I've a lot of good qualities that my friends see in me and why they enjoy spending time with me. I have no doubt I'd be an amazing partner to someone. I'd probably be an even better dad if I ever chose to have kids.
I don't need any "confidence boost" there.
But I am too traumatized by past experiences to even expect that any dating relationship will ever amount to anything but emotional pain for me. At this point I'm too jaded to expect anything good. So I've elected to just avoid that all together. Find other things that keep me happy: I've done things like kayaking and SUP, made 3d printed miniatures, hiking, mountain biking, et cetera.
Is avoidance a healthy coping strategy? No, but for me it's what keeps me sane and at a decent level of happiness. The level of avoidance would generally be me "trying" once or twice a year. But now I've gone on about a year and a half now with 0 attempts at dating. The pandemic made it more acceptable to be single and I just said "fuck it" and embraced my perpetual singleness as an active choice: if I have no chance at success, might as well find a way to be happy with my current reality. For the most part I have done that: I am genuinely a pretty happy person now: if you met me in person you'd see I'm actually pretty fun to be around, albeit a bit random and nerdy 😆. To my friends I'm both loyal and a good listener (sensitive people such as myself have a greater capacity for empathy). I just happen to be everyone's third wheel lol.
if you have a similar experience as me, I'd love to hear your stories. | ADHD |
Sometimes I wonder if I have chronic fatigue syndrome but other times I hear about Autistic burnout and wonder if I have that. Obviously socializing is going to be more draining for us due to masking and sensory issues probably make going out harder for us as well.
When I talk to other aspies they say they have fatigue except for their special interests or hobbies. But my fatigue extends to my special interests and limits how often I can participate in them (snorkeling and art). I also get fatigued even if I don't have to leave the house or socialize so maybe its not related to autism? Idk. I just noticed that the chronic fatigue syndrome sub tends to have a lot of aspies and ADHD folk on it and I was wondering if it was related at all. You know, like how most autistics have gastrointestinal issues? | aspergers |
I have Harm Ocd and she refuses to help me work on it with therpay all she does is focus on my unstable moods and that's it nothing else just that shes barely helping at this point and were doing dbt which hasn't worked for me each time I've done it idk why but she doesn't want to work with me on my ocd and intrusive thoughts and counting compulsions it's starting to ramp up again help | OCD |
I hate how OCD creates such a weak sense of self for me. I have no morals, no fundamental beliefs no nothing with this. I envy people who know who they are inside and out. I wish I didn't have to question everything. This puts a man's heart through the ringer. | OCD |
Does anyone else dissociates while driving sometimes? And what are your experiences with dissociating? I’m kinda new to experiencing them, and not really sure if I am dissociating when it’s happening.
Today I was driving to go for an errand and kind of started to space out and then a very strong headache came on. I became very confused and couldn’t remember why I was at the convenience store and ended up almost having an anxiety attack because I was confused. I was down the street from my house so I waited in my car before driving back to my place. But I’m wondering if this is something similar that other people have experienced? Usually when I’ve had something anything similar to dissociating it’s about realizing with my mental illness. | ptsd |
Hi, I've had OCD for a while, been dealing with it all my life but was diagnosed about six years ago. It's main focus changes from thing to thing, but the most "popular" things that my OCD likes to obsess over are POCD, Moral Scrupulosity, and harm OCD. When it's really bad, like it is now, it's usually several of these at once.
I'm trying to calm down rn, and I suppose I'm just posting here as a way to get out my emotions, and if I'm being honest a bit of that good ole OCD validation, and advice.
First off, does being an anime fan make somebody creepy/a pedophile? And does liking anime a lot/talking about it a lot/liking anime aesthetics if you're not asian make you racist? I came across a thread with white a few upvotes talking about these things and I'm currently limp on the floor after reading it. I saw someone saying that if anyone has looked at hentai it's pedophilic because of the big eyes or something? This has got me all fucked up. I don't want to be a bad person, let alone a racist or a pedophile. I feel like I know logically that this is absurd, but so many people were agreeing, is this a popular opinion now??? My logic systems are already so frazzled when my OCD is really bad, that when I'm genuinely confused by something it just compounds on my cluelessness.
Does Reddit have like a blacklist feature or something to block threads where certain words are mentioned? I don't like limiting or censoring the content that I consume, but I always get so tired of browsing Reddit, or YouTube, or some other website that I enjoy and then BOOM I'm hit with something that almost seems tailor-made to trigger my OCD and send it into high gear.
Also thank you anyone who has read this, and for this subreddit for existing, just typing this out to express my anxiousness and not let it stew has already made me feel a bit better. I hope everyone has a good day. | OCD |
How do I tell my sister I can’t talk to her because she’s a huge trigger because of trauma she caused for me without getting her mad? | ptsd |
I wonder how many people have OCD tics that involve something like "I have to do 10 pushups and 20 sit ups before I leave the room" That doesn't seem like a common thing, is that something you could force yourself to do over time and become obsessive about? If not, why and if so, why does it seem like more people don't do this? | OCD |
I keep hearing exercise is good for ADHD and i grew up dancing and swimming but stopped as i got older. snd because it releases dopamine i feel like it would be a good way to self medicate since i can’t get medication for a while. but of course, my ADHD makes consistency and routine so difficult for me so i really struggle with staying consistent .
I try to be active and i got into running which i like and i want to get into boxing and back into dancing but i just cannot keep consistent even with things i enjoy.
i have so many goals i want for my health and physical fitness and while i’m super thankful because i’ve learnt to love my appearance for the most part and i don’t feel like my self worth isn’t completely rooted in how i look, but i do feel pretty worthless every time i start yet another workout routine knowing that i’ve never completed one or when i keep ruining my own progress. does anyone have any tips or advice on how to work with this? | ADHD |
Nowadays I just google things since it´s so simple. Common internet forum terms like DAE (Does Anyone Else), AITA (Ami I The A\*\*hole), tl;dr (too long, didn´t read), BGM (Background music) etc.
In my case, not understanding shortened phrases is especially true with games. It took me several years to understand that the people who played Grand Theft Auto were the same people who played GTA. I used to think they were two different things, since I didn´t play it myself and didn´t feel interested enough to research it.
I also didn´t immediately catch on to the fact that Castlevania: SOTN was an abbreviated version of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night.
I mentioned in a group once that I play Genshin Impact. A few days later someone asked me: "So you liked GI, right?" And it took me a few seconds to figure out what was meant by that.
I see it as a funny quirk of mine now, but used to be frustrated about it in the past.
Is anyone else in the same boat? | aspergers |
TW: baby loss, child abuse, homelessness, emotionally abusive relationships
I started therapy recently. My symptoms (that I previously thought were me developing depression on top of my bipolar disorders) came to a head. I went to stay with my mom a few days after a heated paranoid arguement to give my poor boyfriend some space. I promptly lost my job after months of struggling. It was time to start healing.
- In 2018 I lost a wanted pregnancy. She was due in April of 2019.
- I had just lost my job.
- I have no friends.
- I was abused for years as a child, and have lived a particularly sad life.
- I've been homeless twice. I am 22.
- I'm constantly an anxious, paranoid mess.
- My motivation to clean house, accomplish things, even play video games, seems permanently reduced and has been for nearly a year.
Yet... None of that was it. It took some digesting, but I was strong enough to bare all of that and more. When the therapist shocked me with the PTSD diagnosis, I considered every possibility to the extent of exhaustion for the cause. I fought it tooth and nail, that conclusion. Until finally, I put my following of r/narcissisticabuse to work. I found a book called Why Does He Do That? by an author who's first name is Lundy. Swallowed my pride and began reading.
Hi, everyone. My name is Kayla, and I am 22. I am here because so blind was I by love, that I could not recognize that my relationship was quietly ruining my mind... To the point I could no longer trust my mind to tell me what was real.
Here's to trying to accept that my relationship has given me currently nonfunctional PTSD, watching some movies, and trying not to cry while I figure out what to do. | ptsd |
I take my chemistry classes online, and my teacher makes for one lecture a 2 or 2.5 hours video and sometimes he divides it into two videos. The problem is that I finish watching this 2 hours video in 6 hours and my day is literally wasted. So any tips that can help me focus on a video without wasting too much time? (Don't suggest asking my teacher to divide the lecture into more than two videos)
Thanks in advance. | ADHD |
How does it change your relationship with your real event ocd? Can you look back on the event in question with more clarity, do you still have anxiety, do you not really think of it at all? | OCD |
As a person with adhd, I’ve had higher paying jobs that are actually eventually unbearable for multiple reasons. I’ve had many panic attacks during jobs. I feel claustrophobic because I can’t leave and it freaks me out.
as I’m currently switching jobs to something I’m actually excited about, I was wondering how others felt. Do you prioritize high pay when picking a job even if it’s something you don’t like? Or do you prioritize picking something you’re interested in?
i used to prioritize pay, but three years of full time work has shown me that sometimes it’s not worth it when managing ADHD. | ADHD |
Hi friends,
I recently got diagnosed with ADHD (but this is much more than an “I got diagnosed!” post so I hope it’s ok I put it here). I am in my late thirties and have been in treatment for mental illness for over twenty years. My primary diagnoses now are Bipolar, CPTSD, Attachment Disorder, and Anxiety NOS. I also have NVLD and SPD. I was previously diagnosed with personality disorders and eating disorders.
Because of all that, I’ve always been told that my neurocognitive differences are the least of my problems, and I wasn’t even bothered to be tested for ADHD before now. But my new doctor thinks I definitely have it, along with the NVLD.
I’ve done almost every psychiatric treatment you could name, drugs, hospitals, therapies, and while I have gotten a bit better I’m still struggling.
I’m really hoping that the neurocognitive angle will give me fresh hope. So that’s what I’m asking—have any of you tried treatments for ADHD that have really helped after psychiatric treatments have failed? If so what treatments?
I truly appreciate anyone who is willing to share their story. | ADHD |
Does anyone have any information or help on how to find a therapist with autism who can maybe help with life problems (either online or in person) but understand autism in a way a neurotypical therapist would not? Google searches only give me stuff about therapy to help with autism (or help interact in the world or whatever) which is NOT what I'm looking for. I want a regular therapist to help with regular problems, but understands the way autism influences life. | aspergers |
One of the most debilitating obsessions that takes a lot of my emotional side is that of constantly thinking about hypothetical conversations or simply sentences of people looking down on me. All it takes is one disappointed/angry look or one that contains other negative impressions of me to activate anxiety in me and this constant remonstrance of them telling me that I had this disorder because of my character for having opinions that differ from theirs. For example, I can no longer express a critical opinion about a movie or think it's bad, they look at me wrong and I get this obsession. What can I do? I've always had different opinions than the average person and that's okay, we all feel smarter than others about certain things it's impossible to always avoid these situations or to keep quiet and keep my opinion to myself just to avoid those damn stares.... | OCD |
I used to be doing really well. My generic recently switched to Actavis and the past month my anxiety has been high and my OCD has been off the charts. Biting my nails, constantly googling things, worrying about how I’m feeling 24/7. I also feel like my focus is worse and I literally feel like doing nothing. Has anyone else experienced this on this generic brand before? I’ve taken Adderall for adhd/anxiety since 2009- I know I’ve had this brand before, but never experienced anything like this.
Thank you! | ADHD |
hi guys! i received my second doe of Pfizer monday it is now thursday and i have been having the worst anxiety and ocd ever. The funny thing is my reaction to the second dose hasn’t even been that bad it’s my anxiety that is making me feel horrible. i keep worrying about the craziest things and giving myself anxiety symptoms and freaking out thinking it’s the shot and i’m going to die. like my chest and throat feel tight and i know it is my anxiety not the covid shot! or that my “chest pain” is really my heart failing or a blood clot. my ocd also keeps saying crazy things to be like this is your last day or you are that .01% person that is going to die (which i don’t even know if anyone has really died from the shot) anyways i wanted to know if anyone else felt that same or could give me some words of encouragement because I’m just so nervous about having some crazy adverse reactions and googling is making me so much worse. thank you! | OCD |
I've been diagnosed with adhd when i was 10 years old after that for almost 8 years. I used straterra for 3 years and after i didn't get meds for 3 years. And after these years I am 18 years old and have been using concerta for 5 months. But i wanted from my doctor to increase the dose of concerta 36 to 54 mg. And he adviced ritalin with that to make easier to study in the evening or night. I was using concerta at 9 AM~. I know that concerta is effective for 10-12 hours and ritalin is 3-4 hours. Is it dangerous to use concerta at 9 AM and use Ritalin at 7 PM~? For my heart and other things, sleeping appetite and other side-effects. | ADHD |
i feel like a burden to everyone to speak to, even here online. i dont think ppl really enjoy talking with me, i feel i make others uncomfortable.. and when they do say they like talking to me, i doubt it. because who could like talking to me? thats how i think and see things. just a few more days and maybe i can catch a break from this, yk | depression |
I've tried notebooks or diaries. I just cover it with more paper.
Post it notes are working as they stick to my spit screen (thank you covid for the acrylic dividers - they are never coming down)
Heck I'm even trying notion as its on my phone and the computer.
It's the remembering to even write things down that's my problem 😅
I got diagnosed in April. Colleagues know but customers don't. And don't think they'll understand either. | ADHD |
My friend is slowly giving up on life how do I help him?
I also feel like I might be depressed too | depression |
Got AirPods Pro today and boy, why did no one tell me how awesome active noise cancellation is! I wore them on a walk to a grocery store and I barely heard any noise. Even buses sounded like they were all electric.
I can only imagine how good ANC must be on over-ear headphones. Couldn’t get those because of my glasses that make over-ear headphones uncomfortable as hell. | aspergers |
My dad died very suddenly last February (on Valentine's Day). No one was expecting it. After long battles with the city bureaucracy, I was given a caregiver five days a week and somehow managed to get a new apartment, since I could no longer afford the one I was in. To be honest, there are long, complicated stories attached to all this, but I don't really know them. I sort of checked out, so everything was a blur. My aunt and uncle arranged all of this.
I know how lucky I am to have found an apartment; there's a housing shortage where I live. But generally, I sit in one room, in my computer chair, and cry. I'm so not ready for this. I don't think I'll ever be ready.
I'm 36 years old with two cats, diagnosed with Aspergers, clinically depressed, prone to panic attacks, neuropathy in both legs... should I have gone into a home? That was an option. Give up everything and be put into a home. But I would have had to give up my cats. I *need* my cats. Sammy and Molly keep me sane. They're probably the only ones keeping me alive.
Don't know if this is just a rant or looking for advice... my caregiver was exposed to covid over the weekend, so she's not here. I'm worried as hell about her, but she's keeping me updated. At the moment, I have to try and be a full-fledged adult. It's not really working well.
Currently, I'm crying because I feel like there's a wall keeping me from vacuuming. Maybe I'm just a lazy bitch, but it *hurts.* It feels like a coil *tightens* in my chest every time I push against that wall. And no one gets it. Not even I get it. | aspergers |
I have MDD and I tend to experience an episode every winter. It’s hitting again, I know I can get through it, but I feel so alone.
I’ve tried to talk to friends about my depression, but they then divert the conversation to themselves and lament about how “sad” they feel. But… I don’t feel sad. I’m depressed. My memory is poor, I have minimal emotional regulation, nothing feels stimulating, my movements/thought/speech is slow, and I’ve been experiencing faded vision. I don’t feel sad because I don’t feel anything except hurt.
I just feel so disconnected from my friends who also state they had MDD. My symptoms just don’t align with theirs.
I’m sitting in my apartment right now after having (another) cry-session, and I just feel so lonely. It’s physically painful. | depression |
My bf whom I loved with all my heart cheated on me(it was really bad) but then begged for me to take him back. I did because despite it all I love him and frankly without him I'd feel so alone because he's also my best friend who I talk every hour to. The few weeks where we separated was living hell so I took him back because I needed him. Today he gave up on me saying it's easier to walk away. He abandoned me again. I don't want to go back to the dark. I don't want to go back fearing every day. Having no one to talk to. I have other friends but no one like him yknow? I don't feel that comfort with anyone else and now he's gone and doesn't want me anymore. It's so dark and lonely. Please tell me how can I die quick and painlessly. Im so tired of living through the pain | depression |
**EDIT:** Thank you all so much for your empathy and advice. For anyone else dealing with this same problem, here's some stuff I tried that worked to help me eat:
- liquid diet (protein powder, meal replacement shakes, and soup)
- small meals more frequently
- trail mix
- eating while distracted by the TV
- light exercise to stimulate my appetite
**Original post**
My mental health has really taken a nose dive recently, and my eating habits with it.
Normally my eating hasn't been affected by my anxiety or depression; I've been medicated (for ADHD) for a year and I managed to overcome the appetite suppression and develop a regular eating schedule.
But lately even the thought of eating has become unpleasant. I'll eat microwave meals or instant noodles or protein shakes so I don't have to do any cooking, and I can still barely get the food into my mouth. I'll eat half a piece of toast and feel almost nauseated.
I *know* I need to eat. My weight is dropping, my digestion is messed up, I'm hitting a huge wall of fatigue in the afternoon. I just can't seem to bring myself to do it.
Any tips on how I can deal with this? | ADHD |
im 16, and i get bullied cuz im in the special unit in my school. kids are mean and the education system is dumb. the good thing is i come off as almost normal so. | aspergers |
Remembering this makes me so angry. I recently went with my BF to this wild adventure hiking and a group of random joined us. Thing is there were many bees around and when we were camping one of those bees decided to sting me and I scream in pain and my boyfriend instead of checking on me or acknowledging the situation, he was a piece of crap and actually said it was nothing, I have never been stung by a bee and it was sooo painful. But instead of checking on me he was such an asshole and just wanted me to move on. I told him how I felt and he didn't react, he was such an asshole and didn't even felt compassion or empathy or nothing! He didn't give a flying fuck about how I felt.
I'm starting to think he is not the love of my life, I cannot forget things like this. He doesn't even like to acknowledge his Asperger even thought his doctor suggested. | aspergers |
TLDR; I've seen a psych on and off for a few years, am diagnosed, have had medication before so I know how I function with and without it. Stuff happened, lost access to healthcare, am having a horrid unlucky streak w/applying to assistance constant paperwork loss. So it's gotten to the point if it weren't for friends caring for me I'd be homeless because I'm just a horrid spiraling mess atm.
What do you guys do to help without having meds when you have severe symptoms? Anyone know any like \*extremely\* low cost ways of getting any kind of immediate help? | ADHD |
For context I have trauma from a teacher emotionally abusing me and deliberately trying to get me misdiagnosed with autism in primary school. I've recently become terrified of people thinking that I'm autistic to the point where I scroll through r/aspiememes and have panic attacks if I relate to any meme there (I have dyspraxia so lots of the memes about sensory issues are relatable). I read an article a few weeks ago about the link between certain hair types and autism and now I obsessively check my hair to make sure it's not 'weird'. I'm stressing out about this because I'm turning into an ableist piece of shit. Could it be OCD or am I just ableist? | OCD |
I don't really know if I can consider this depression, because it's not like I'm never happy. I *can* be happy from time to time, but it never tends to last more than a fleeting moment. In a sense, what my problem is, is what I've posted up there as the title. I think it's more me feeling trapped by the lack of connection I feel in my life. Once again, in a kind of cruel way, I don't know where I can really post this to make it the most accurate it can be.
I suppose I should be clearer what I mean by that. I tend to think I've always seen the world from a very disconnected perspective, like I'm on the outside looking in. All because I can't find something to actually connect to, something to find meaning in my life beyond some vague idea that there has to be *something* worth living for. I'm not suicidal by any stretch of the imagination, and the suicide of my older brother last year has strengthened my resolve to not get to that level. The effect it had on my family was devastating, even with me, who was never all that close with him over the last couple years of his life.
However, I just find it really hard to enjoy living. I have very few passions in my life, those being history (And only certain types of history) and wrestling. It's just whenever I ended up going into groups of people that know about these topics, I end up finding people I consider far more passionate about it than I am. I tend to regard things with passing interest at best, so when I see these people who are *so* passionate, and *so* happy about these topics, it just makes me feel disconnected. I tend to fade into the background and then never go to those groups again, all because I don't feel like I belong there.
As such, I just can't connect to anything, and it makes it so hard to just enjoy normal things. I don't hate my life, but I do often just spend nights I promised myself I would work on just doing nothing. It makes everything feel so dull and monotonous, not helping the fact that most of the people I talk to online are often in a different time zone. So, whenever I'm home by myself, I end up just sitting in silence getting nothing done.
I don't feel like there's anywhere I belong, I just feel detached because there's nothing actually out there that captures my ability to connect to it on an emotional level. At least, I don't think there is. I can get emotional, but that's a fact that everyone can recognise as true regardless of situation. It's just... Whenever I look at other people with their connections and their friendships and their partners, I just know that something within me is not letting me feel the same way. That there's just this crushing apathy over my whole life that stops me from being motivated.
Anyway, that's the long and short of my problem. Like, I said, I don't know if this is the right place to post it. However, I'm at least somewhat happier that I could get it off my chest. | depression |
Like studying, Reading books, Exercising, Going for walks outside and so on.
Always stressed non stop about things you have to do.
I find my self always on the edge because of this pressure, and i cannot do/finish something.
How do you deal with this pressure?
Also
How do you deal with to do lists?
How do you organise your day so you can get some productivity? | ADHD |
About to move to Madrid and wanted to know if anyone knew anything about an OCD community there? Appreciate you lovely people!! | OCD |
I’m at that point where I can go through an episode. But after the episode I still don’t want to reexperience that. | ptsd |
I'm at a new low today because I'm on the verge of panic about a typo. I misspelled the first three letters of a word in a search bar, then corrected it. And my mind's like "you dodged a bullet there, you could have seriously had people thinking you had bad intentions if you hit enter and your life would have been over" and I started spiraling. I imagined the worst case scenario and started catastrophizing from there, even though I'm safe in ''this'' reality.
The thing that frustrates me is that I'm not NEW to OCD. I know that re-assurance seeking doesn't help, I know that accepting uncertainty is how you beat this disorder, and yet it's. Still. There. | OCD |
I suffer from ocd intrusive thoughts and general anxiety disorder. Recently I was doing it with my bf and my mind just rejected every possible idea about it. I couldn’t feel any pleasure. I’m not sure why that happened. Has anyone ever felt like that? Sorry if this is the wrong Reddit I’m just so genuinely curious on why this happened. | OCD |
The following vent is kinda "stream of consciousness venting." Sorry it's not very concise.
Look, I know the key is to sit with the thoughts and let them pass and not do the compulsion. And I've seen it work in my life significantly. - my obsessive thoughts have gotten slowly but surely getting less sucky. In fact, my OCD, in general, has been realllllly under control for the past 18 months. Before I got diagnosed and got therapy, I was doing my compulsions every day to the point where I was losing sleep. My therapist says that because I did those compulsions over and over again, OCD is gonna take awhile to be "defeated" because I just kept reinforcing it. But when I have episodes where obsessive thoughts creep in and bother me for days on end (like today), I often think "I'm just better of doing the compulsion." Even though I know that isn't the case, every time I get obsessive thoughts the argument from my OCD seems to get stronger and stronger that I know isn't rational or from me. My therapists (I have one at home and one where I go to school) both say "Never in my years of therapy has doing the compulsion helped anything long term" and I know I shouldn't do the compulsion and that's what I plan on doing until it fades away, but my OCD is extremely convincing at times.
It just sucks because I know what I need to do, but OCD can just seem so damn convincing | OCD |
As above...
I used to have a cousin that would talk with me on phone until I fell asleep... it really helped to distract me from me sub consciously trying to avoid sleep.
I'm on day 2 with no sleep and I'm exhausted.
Please if anyone responds, be respectful! Nothing weird just a conversation on audio call on Snapchat until i sleep, then hang up. Happy to repay the favor eg if you need to vent about anything or need a friend etc | ptsd |
I'm 25 and due to OCD I still live in my parent's house, I've been here for almost 4 years. Also due to my form of OCD, I can,t really leave the house whenever I want. I think I'm starting to go a bit mad, stuck in the same house, this is my entire world and I,m sick of it. I want out.
But I don,t know how to. How do I get a job when I can,t even leave the house when *I* want to? How can I have my own house/flat when I can,t earn money? I don,t have any higher qualifications than A-levels, I never got to even start my degree due to OCD. Hell, I don,t even know where to start or look about these things.
I want some advice, about getting a job, moving out, anything that relates to what I,ve said. I just feel so lost, I dont want to spend any longer being stuck doing nothing. It'd be nice to be able to have even a vague idea as to what I can do to move forward and be independent, not the useless waste I feel like I,m being. | OCD |
I (22f) and he (22m) were dating but decided to be just friends because he wasn't ready for a relationship and had to go back to his own country. He said that he won't be able to contact me stably because of his mental diseases and busy working schedule, and not texting for long time has caused me stress and problems before when we were dating, and that's why he doesn't think it's a good idea to be in relationship with me at least for now. I agreed with him and we promised to be friends and meet him when he comes back.
It's been about two months and a half since he left the country. We were talking as just friends at first but about a month after he left, he told me that he can't forget about me and can't stop thinking about me everyday. Since then he has been being very affectionate like saying how he miss kissing me or want to meet me. I still like him as well so I was happy about it.
But now, he's not responding for almost two weeks. The last thing he sent me was a love song.
I know his company's official social media account, and I can see he had to hold a huge event. I guess he was busy preparing, besides he literally told me he's not ready for relationship because he's busy. The problem is that I have no right to complain about him not replying but it makes me upset and sad when he's emotionally too close.
I think if we keep doing this, we are just going to repeat the same thing we did when we were dating. He'd be very affectionate for a while and stop communication all of sudden. Then I'd be upset and confused, question him why he'd ignore me if he likes me as much as he says. We were like this and we agreed it's too toxic and thus decided not to be in relationship. I'm feeling that it'll happen again and if we be like that we can't maintain even a friendship.
How should I tell him about it or should I even tell him? I appreciate his feeling and I like him too but this situation is not healthy for anything contains romantic feeling regardless of whether if we are in committed relationship or not. He has tried to withdraw from me several times, considering that his existence is just a burden for me so I don't want to be too straightforward. | depression |
My wife and I both have ADHD. It’s now October. Apparently on Christmas Day 2020, my wife must have set her stocking aside to do something, gotten distracted, and then it’s been shuffled around in two different room moves.
Today, as we are wrapping presents for out youngest’s birthday she pulls it out and goes “what’s this?”. Yep, the pin that went with the shirt I got her for Christmas was in her stocking, which she just got now. Of course me being adhd didn’t even realize she hadn’t been wearing the pin.
Side benefit: I get to steal the 10 month old bag of gummy worms that still seems nice and squishy. | ADHD |
im seeing my psychologist tomorrow, im not seeing him for adhd problem, but i think i should talk to him about it
should i just ask "hey, i think i have adhd bc i relate to random people on reddit and i have read 3 articles, could you tell me if i have adhd?"
​
how do i ask him to diagnose me without asking him? | ADHD |
Anyone else find certain parts of video games set off their OCD?
For example, if monsters drop in-game loot, even if I have full stacks of it in my inventory and don't need it, I feel compelled to pick up EVERYTHING from the ground. If I tried to pass by the loot, I'd have an intrusive thought telling me someone will die if I don't pick it up-- I actually got annoyed playing Genshin Impact because there is SO much loot on the ground that if I saw a flower a 2 minute walk away I had to go get it.
Compound this with a tiny inventory and it drives me up a wall-- my inventories are always littered with nonsense because I'm constantly telling myself "maybe I'll need this later" despite never using it for years in MMOs. Anyone have any other video game related OCD compulsions? | OCD |
I finally got my diagnosis of aspergers and ADHD. This is so f\*\*king liberating. Cathatric. Waves of emotion are passing over me. It all makes so much sense. My mind is racing. I just feel so free now, man, I just want to let it all out !
Apologies if this reads disjointed but processing thoughts and structuring them cohesively isn't my strongest point ... I'm probably going to end up with 11 different posts and half repeat what I've said already but yeah, I hope you guys can appreciate me not having to mask here lol
​
It is an immense weight lifted off my soldiers to know I'm **NOT** the problem, that after 29 years I don't need to beat myself up anymore thinking that **I'M** the one at fault for:
​
* **being poorly motivated**: I am not exaggerating when I say that I spent at least 80% of time allotted for tasks by procrastination through excessive research. Projects at university, tasks given at work, heck, even sweeping the damn floor, I literally could not get my ass off the chair, head out of the screen and clear the lethargic fog from my brain. **EVERYTHING** I have ever done has been from (mentally speaking) a standing start. I have to make a conscious decision to try to start a task, to maintain focus on that task, to stick to a schedule, basically anything which isn't in my 'inner' circle of interests. Nothing just pops into my mind with a ***zing*** and jump-starts my brain into action. Even in what I'm interested in my application and focus is like a quarter-horse race: from zero knowledge to 24hr obsession then forgotten about 2 weeks later ... rinse and repeat.
​
* **lacking executive function**: being on time, remembering appointments, remembering commitments made. Absolutely hopeless without all my alarms and reminders on my iPhone. Sometimes if I set a reminder to display 1 hour before an event, I even forget what the reminder was about in the hour between the alert and the event !! This was a disaster at college, I frequently forgot to turn in papers, I wouldn't pay attention to guidelines for the assignment, I wouldn't pay attention to my timetable and attend the wrong lecture or go to one which I had already been at. This made me so depressed at time because I was like "Bill, if you can't get simple deadlines, times and dates right, what hope have you of getting things right in the real world ?" Even until recently, being organized for my kids meal times was a problem. Decide what's on the menu and buy said things at the store the day before. Get 2 yr old ready for kindergarten in the morning. Make the food while 2 yr old is at kindergarten. Cover food in skillet with a lid to be served later. Simple ? Nope. The amount of 3-4 p.m. lunches I've served to starving kids which were meant to be ready at 1p.m. is embarrassing. To maintain a minimum of executive function I literally have to reframe and refocus my mind every 10 minutes or if I go into a different room, like I need to ask myself "Where are you going ? What are you going there for ? What is the action you need to take immediately afterwards ? When does it need to be done by ?". It's somewhat effective at keeping focus but it's tiring having to do it constantly.
​
* **miscommunicating:** Going for the killer one liners when they were never on is my worst offense here. The amount of dates, friendships and work relationships I ruined by getting very nervous and trying to 'break the ice' with a killer one liner is shameful at this stage. I also see (metaphorically) a lot of things that aren't there, I interpret things differently to others. This has resulted in my often-used mantra: "Yeah, in *your* head, this means 'x', but to *me* it means 'y'"
Also, a load of things **just don't hit me**. Take a simple trip for the day to your nearest national park. I get in my car with the kids and drive off. Did it occur to me to bring my 2 yr old's rucksack with diapers, a spare change of clothes and some snacks before leaving the house ? Oops ... must make a u-turn and go back home. Wow ! A bonus ! As I enter the hallway I see my wallet sitting on the table. Now that would be useful for buying gas and some food for the kids ! Didn't hit me before leaving the house either. Okay, so we're finally good to go. As we're nearing the national park I get a call. It's my physician. "Bill, don't we have an appointment today ??". S\*\*t. Then comes the awkward explanation about how I *did* remember to set up a reminder on my phone *but* forgot about the reminder after it appeared that morning. I'm in constant awe of my wife and my parents who can remember and co-ordinate all these things on a daily basis. **It just doesn't hit me !**
​
* **not prioritizing:** set an important task aside to focus on a fleeting, obscure interest ? Duhhh, obviously ! Why would I spend my time doing housework when I can check flight prices between random cities that I have absolutely no links to or interest in visiting in the near future ? This really upset my wife because she thought I wasn't giving my all to better myself (professionally and personally) for the good of the family. She understands 110% now and felt ashamed of how I must have felt when she got very angry at me for it. However, I too understand her 110% and we're enthusiastically working on it together. To help with this, I've bought a whiteboard and have two columns for tasks, one for tasks in order of priority and one for how time sensitive the task is. This has already brought about noticeable improvements.
* **smelling things:** I can now take out a jar of coffee from the cupboard at home and sniff as deeply as a coke addict who won the Powerball. I love to smell fresh lettuce, new books and bottles of olive oil. Nobody at home ever had the slightest problem with it but it makes me feel more at ease that they understand better now.
* **being indecisive over trivial matters:** like many ND's I love 'cut and dry'. I'm not crazy about excessive variety and nuances. Another shameful example: coal. I use coal in my living room stove from roughly October to March. Most people buy whatever coal/wood is available locally. Some have a wood or coal variety they prefer, if it's available. Simple, it's either available or not. If the coal's not available, buy the wood and vice versa. With me, no no no. I live in Ireland now. Here, like in the UK, anthracite coal is ground down, mixed to varying degrees with bituminous coal and petroleum coke (or not at all) and then formed into small round-shaped briquettes. I have spent over 40 hours so far this year pondering over which coal to get. I have sent numerous e-mails to coal manufactures as to what % of each ingredient is in their coal, called dozens of coal merchants across the country to see if they stock certain types of coal, I've met with sales people from the various manufacturers to enquire about getting a specific type of coal that literally no-one uses within a 100 miles radius of here. Or I could just get whatever everyone else is using which will heat my house just as well. Having to know every last piece of information in whatever decision I have to make has wasted *sooooo* much of my time.
* **not having many opinions of my own**: following on from liking things 'cut and dry', it's just this that makes it hard for me to have my own opinions. Take something like music. People like bands/songs/albums because they ... like them. Not me. I need a metric to measure a song against to decide whether it's good or not: catchy beat ? Too vague. Number of youtube views ? That makes sense. Quality of lyrics ? I can't 'read between the lines' in lyrics so it's hard for me to tell what the overall message of the song is. Number of records sold/downloaded. Very solid metric. I wouldn't have said I liked REM's 'Losing My Religion' to anyone 10 years ago. Now that's no problem since I know it has 874 million youtube views. I don't get 'taste'. This also applies to movies, clothes, art and in any other domain where you've got to have an 'eye' or an 'ear' for something.
For me the biggest relief was hearing my psychologist say "Bill, I can see that your mind is very active and agile but I can also tell that your speed of processing and expressing these thoughts is causing you a lot of discomfort and stress. Nail. On. The. Head. *Sooooo* many times I 'feel' exactly what I want to say but the words refuse to come out of my mouth. Internally, I'm literally screaming at the top of my voice "Jesus, Bill, SPIT IT OUT" and then I just shutdown, frustrated, because I have so much to contribute and offer. I wept explaining this to my wife, the love of my life. I have tried to explain who I am and how I feel to her for the last 4 years. While I have got close, I never felt like I accurately articulated what exactly is going on in my mind and how much I love her. Now she understands.
Unfortunately, 'I know what I want to say, I just can't process it and explain it' doesn't cut ice in the workplace or in college assignments :/
Guys, its been a pleasure reading your posts over the past few weeks since I first discovered this (sub-reddit ?) I can't tell you how many times I've read something and said "Hallelujah ! I thought I was the only one who did this/felt this way but could never explain it properly" You were able to put into words what I could then bring to my psychologist and say "Michael, I didn't explain myself well in the last diagnostic session but now I can tell you exactly how I feel".
I feel even better now. God bless you all and glad to be part of the community ! | aspergers |
TW: sexual assault
On mobile, sorry for format
I was raped a few months ago. It was strange because after I felt really out of body a few days after. I guess it was a defense mechanism, but I feel normal now after some counseling and cutting the guy off. However, I feel like I didn’t carry any trauma with me. First off, I never thought I would be raped in my life. All I learned was that after rape or sexual assault comes a slew of panic attacks, nightmares, or debilitating flashbacks.
I either don’t have any trauma, or I was painted an inaccurate picture of PTSD growing up. I don’t go through any of these things. Every few weeks or so I remember that it happened and replay it in my head, which 100% of the time happens at night, and then I fall asleep. Last night I did think about it and couldn’t focus for a few minutes, but I had no anxiety or anything.
However, I have a history of pushing my feelings aside or shutting down and blaming myself, saying I’m not that bad off. Why am I like this? And am I the only one?
Thanks so much for reading | ptsd |
So they've really reduced my flashbacks. I no longer have the graphic, vivid nightmares, and my mind doesn't wander as much during the day. It's a huge relief and I hadn't even realised they were PTSD flashbacks before. I've had them for most of my teen and adult life. I even had people tell me it was normal. I am so relieved to have them gone/almost gone.
However I'm tired as heck, sleeping for up to 20 hours a day sometimes, and I still don't have a lot of motivation. I feel pretty low.
I'm on venlafaxine 37.5mg. Are there other options? | ptsd |
i never feel anything physically and i’m just disinterested in sex. idk what’s wrong it didn’t used to be like this | OCD |
I've been struggling so bad lately. I have M.D.D., S.A.D, G.A.D, ADHD oh also I'm very introverted and they are all making me feel so alone. It doesn't help that I have only one person who cares about me but they have been sick these past few weeks so I don't want to go to them and be like here are my problems and word vomit all over them. I see a therapist weekly and it helps a lot in conjunction with me taking meds but I don't know how to pull myself out of this I will be alone forever feeling. I know that I'm ugly but I'm also a person who is kind, caring, intelligent, loyal but I can't get anyone to look past the physical appearance and get to know. I did have a small group of friends who I could lean on, talk to and do stuff with but they all either got married or had kids and I was pushed out as they didn't have anytime for me. I've never expected anyone to like make me their top priority but I couldn't even get them to text me back when I would reach out and see if they wanted to do something or just to check on them, so I stopped reaching out and haven't heard from them since. If you have made it this far thank you I'm sorry this is kinda all over the place but I'm looking for any advice you might have for me. Thank you so much in advance.
TLDR: I have mental health issues and feel so alone and need advice. | depression |
**trigger warning: death**
About 3 years ago now I saw someone take a heart attack and drop dead. I saw him get CPR and they decided to stop and then take him I to the ambulance.
I now keep getting more intrusive thoughts of dead bodies and his dead body but as if its decaying. Like what it may look like now. I sometimes have nightmares of people dying.
I've always been very sensitive towards death and knew that if I were to ever witness it it would fuck me up. Does this sound like an indicator of PTSD to you guys?!
I'm not looking for a diagnosis here just a rough indicator from people who have been diagnosed with it. | ptsd |
I've been reading The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome and I'm left a little confused.
Do you hear everything louder? Or just certain sounds louder? Many people report feeling physical pain triggered by sound, which is what I'd expected. But I read lots of comments of people primarily describing anger and anxiety instead, with no mentions of pain. Do some of you not even feel pain at all from having sensitive hearing?
Thank you for helping me understand. | aspergers |
Ive been Suffering from Complex PTSD since 18 months and several Symptoms haven’t gone. Besides i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. | ptsd |
I have been wary about taking medications because I thought therapy would be enough but I feel as though even that isn't enough. | depression |
I need something that can limit how long I stay in an app, a parental control or a timer or something that will snap me out of “scroll holes” by prompting me to close the app or quitting the app automatically.
I open Instagram just to reply to a friend and BOOM 5 hours of my life gone due to distractibility
Setting my own timer wouldn’t work because I never know which form of media will become the time sink- if I tried that method I’d have to set a timer for every single leisure app I open and in reality I’m just not gonna do that | ADHD |
When I was a kid and I was doing something my Mom didn’t like such as certain movements or if I was doing something she considered weird she would get really mad and would yell “if you keep doing that I’ll send you right to a special school!” When I asked my mom why she did this she just said “well it worked didn’t it?” Is it normal for parents to be like this with their kids on the spectrum when they are younger? I’m 25 now and just finished law school and I’m about to take the bar exam. I feel like some of this may have impacted my self-esteem growing up. | aspergers |
I’m not diagnosed and have never claimed to 100% for sure have ADHD but had expressed to someone who is diagnosed that I was looking into getting assessed and many of the struggles I have that MAY be related to ADHD. They asked me how caffeine affects me and I told them that coffee is my comfort drink but energy drinks give me anxiety and make me shake and he straight up, without a beat told me “you are not adhd then”. I don’t claim to know everything about adhd but I know it varies person to person and this individual isn’t a doctor or mental health professional. I felt really invalidated and felt stupid for even wanting to seek an assessment. I guess I’m just asking if this is a valid reason to dismiss someone’s concerns about potentially having it? I know that it’s common that caffeine has an opposite effect on people with ADHD but is this really such a huge determining factor? | ADHD |
[Here's last week's thread](https://old.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/mczx9e/hows_your_week_going_so_far_weekly_post_162/)
Suggestions are ALWAYS welcome on how to improve the threads I post at any time. After all, I do this because the community wants these threads to exist, and I take the time out of my day (every Thursday and Saturday) to post the weekly threads, to ensure the community gets what it feels it needs.
**So, continuing with the theme... /r/aspergers, How is your week going so far?** :) | aspergers |
You know it all makes sense now...... I wondered why I couldn't focus even when I wanted to, why I couldn't stay motivated or disciplined. Now I sit staring at my laptop, looking at my grades, not knowing what I want to be or study during this sophomore year of college, thinking if I will ever become successful or if this is what I was just destined to be, an unsuccessful person. It hurts that I try, but no one I care about notices it, but it hurts worse when I try but still fail. The kid inside me has gone quiet because I can't hear him anymore. I just dont have any motivation anymore, yet I'm pushing to who knows where and why.
The effect of finding out you have ADHD and thought it would be something that would change as you grew up.
Sorry I sound very negative guys, just been lost lately. | ADHD |
I tried going cold turkey two weeks ago and so far im doing pretty good. I'd say 80 percent of the OCD (contamination OCD and thinking OCD) is gone now.
However, I get this anxiety that something bad has happened. Its like I'm generally uneasy for no apparent reason. Sometimes I get suicidal ideations because if it.
Does this feeling go away? And is this feeling normal after going cold turkey? What should I do?
Thank you. | OCD |
They think I'm weird, but they don't get that I live my entire life just to make them comfortable. Everything they see that they think is just me being weak or gaming for sympathy I am trying REALLY hard at. JUST to make them comfortable. All of it.
For just 1 day, I want to watch them all have to navigate a world that's not made for them lined with stupid rules that do not make any sense.
We'll start with "bad words." That there are sounds one is not permitted to make in various social settings by moving their tongue and passing air through their throat is ABSOLUTELY ridiculous. And if one of these words is written even with different characters, in some context it can be very bad and in others funny. Puns in particular are frustrating. Use it in one instance, everyone laughs. Use the same one around the same people in a different context and you're just an inconsiderate prick.
I want to see them get through a day where the tone you use and the facial expressions you make don't fucking matter because it's what you're saying and not how you're saying it that matters.
I'm growing to hate them. | aspergers |
I've been good for about 4 and 1/2 months now but I feel like I'm becoming depressed again | depression |
I was told that I kept bringing up past traumatic events because I can’t forgive the perpetrator. I feel so misunderstood. It’s not that I don’t want to. But my flashbacks and dreams don’t allow me to. And the wounds get fresh over and over again.
I was also told that I obsessively fixate on a particular detail of the perpetrator’s behaviour and action. That it is nerve wrecking to hear me repeat the detail over and over again. It is not that I want to. But my trauma has me stuck in the past like a loop. | ptsd |
It is unbelievable how much of life is wasted sitting through conversations, interactions and activities I'm completely disinterested (and in fact aggravated) with. I'm too nice and unassertive to tell people I don't care, but sometimes I'd just like them to shut the fuck up and leave me the fuck alone. Lol. | aspergers |
I always feel like I have the worst case of OCD and that it isn’t treatable. I feel like I’m the exception and can’t be cured and everyone else can be. I know this isn’t true but I always catch myself thinking this way. | OCD |
I am looking into getting a medical marijuana card. I feel like it would help me with not only my PTSD, but also ADHD/ADD, anxiety, depression, TMJ, back pain, and Hoshimotos disease. ... I actually know it will help because I used Marijuana recreationally for a long time illegally. Don't pass judgement my way until you do your research. I have already been on many medications for all of these issues. They all caused bad reactions for me. I am now against pharmaceuticals. Have any of you tried Medical for your PTSD? What type of prescription do you get and how exactly does it work in FL? | ptsd |
The traumatic events that caused started at a very young age, I can still remember the first time piece of my soul was stolen from me, and the next and the next, then the escape helped a little and military service brought its own trauma. Never had a chance in hell at having a normal regular relationship. This desease sucks, I go to sleep every night praying I don’t wake up the next day, that I just die, wishing that it was I who died instead of others. During the day most people don’t even imagine, the meds and therapy keep me highly functional, of course people don’t understand the sudden withdrawals, the chills, the nightmares that ruin the whole day, the long periods of silence when I’m dealing with a flash back or the hyper-vigilance, and the recurrent saying to myself “this is not that”.... even therapy is starting to get old...I wish I could die tonight! | ptsd |
I don't know how relatable or common this situation will be, but I (30M) am a native English speaker living abroad in a country where English is not widely spoken. I've lived here for over 5 years now and I would say I'm moderately fluent in the local language, with some gaps in listening and reading.
I recently went on a date with a native speaker of the local language (not fluent in English) and they were telling me about their life, but as they started to complain about a personal event, I started understanding less and less until eventually the stress was too much and I spiraled into a meltdown from overstimulation (unable to really form coherent thoughts, can't come up with a half-decent response, etc.). Eventually we changed the subject and I was able to resume normal conversation.
I can only imagine this is off-putting to the other person to be talking about something important and getting one-word mumbled answers in response. Is this why my ex called me selfish...? Has anyone else dealt with a similar situation, even in their native language? | aspergers |
disclaimer: i’m not looking for a diagnosis, just for some support. i wonder if other people experience the same thing as me, and most importantly i want to know if this is an actual symptom of ocd or something else.
last year i relapsed into my eating disorder and i started developing obsessive thoughts about my food. these thoughts are now getting out of control, mostly because i have them every single day and as a result i end up wasting entire meals. here are some examples of what happens:
1) this morning i opened a yogurt. it wasn’t expired, but the moment i looked at it i decided that the texture wasn’t “right” and there were 2 green dots inside that made me think it was out of date. i immediately threw it in the trash. then, i opened another yogurt from a different brand. it wasn’t expired either, but even this time i felt like the texture wasn’t right and after preparing a bowl with the yogurt and 4 cookies, i ended up throwing everything in the trash again. i opened a milk bottle, i tasted the milk and it was fine, but then i started thinking that every dairy product in the fridge was had expired because it’s so hot and not even the fridge can keep food fresh, so in conclusion i decided that i won’t buy dairy products anymore and i won’t eat the one i have in the fridge.
2) yesterday i made coffee for breakfast. it was good, but it was too hot for my liking and instead of just waiting for it to cool down i just threw it away because the thought of that coffee staying in my coffee mug literally made my skin itch. i made another one, and it wasn’t too hot, but i wanted it to get the typical “coffee foam” so i used a foam maker, but it didn’t turn out like how i wanted it to be. i tried drinking the coffee, but ended up throwing it away because i couldn’t stand the thought of it not having the texture i wanted.
3) once i cooked breaded fish in the oven. when i cut it to eat it, the breadcrumbs kept falling from the fish and it wasn’t “crunchy” like how i exactly wanted it. i even though it was undercooked, so i ended up not eating it.
4) vegetables. i keep eating the same vegetables over and over because i only eat those that i’m 99% sure will have the texture that i want. it’s happened so many times that the vegetables were “soggy” and overall the texture didn’t feel right when i ate them, although people around me kept telling me that the vegetables tasted fine.
honestly, i could go on for hours. moral of the story: i can’t eat or drink if things aren’t how i want, because then my brain decides i just can’t eat them. i even have physical reactions: my skin actually starts itching, i feel like i can’t breathe and i cry too, because everything is so... overwhelming.
these aren’t the only type of obsessive thoughts that i have but they’re definitely the most problematic to deal with because they make me waste so much food. | OCD |
anyone here has problems using social media?? afraid of doing something wrong/mean to people?? | OCD |
30F , 5ft 6, UK but currently on vacation. on macrobid for 3 days now. Feel extremely exhausted to the point I can’t laugh or cry. Having intrusive thoughts that I can’t shake, starting to wonder if I will ever feel normal again. Had a major panic attack 4 days ago so now feel like I’m anticipating one constantly so can’t see past the next 2 minutes. Had a major trauma at the beginning of the year and suffer from ptsd but haven’t had any relapses or panic attacks in over 8 months. Waking up every morning on vacation in panic, struggling through the days and struggling to see a point to my life. Is this the antibiotics? Have only started feeling like this since starting them, or is it because I’m on holiday I am missing or hating my life? Suicidal intrusive thoughts all day that I’ve never had before. | depression |
I prefer to date other autistic people, would this be something others are interested in or am I alone? | aspergers |
Not much more to say, I think you get it. I'm fucking rattled and wondering how to continue living in a world where I apparently cannot feel safe in my own home no matter where I live. | ptsd |
So I started Vyvanse a few months ago (after trialing Ritalin and Focalin, which both made my stomach hurt too bad when I crashed) and it’s been a mixed bag: my anxiety is nearly non existent now (I can’t even believe it!!!) but my biggest issue is that when I take them all I want to do is clean. I love cleaning now (used to hate it) and this is great because I get stuff done and do laundry and have good hygiene routines, but I don’t get any actual WORK done (I’m freelance). And I don’t feel guilty about it? There’s no way this ends well as I’m currently just living off savings (which I’ve done before but only for a month and I’m starting to come up on almost 2 months)
Being on meds has made me realize I used internal guilt and anxiety to motivate myself to do pretty much everything, but now that that anxiety is gone I just don’t feel motivated to do my work?? How can I fix this? I’m on 10mg (we started low as I’m -very- sensitive to meds) would going up help? Should I try switching to a diff med? Or is this a brain thing? and if so, any advice on how to make myself prioritize work? I have tried planners and sticky notes and reminders in my phone and alarms and nothing has worked:( | ADHD |
I didn't talk until about 2 years old and didn't walk till I was like 4
But I felt pretty normal growing up. I was a bit odd and got treated bad by friends and stuff but I just didn't think I was special
In high school I abused alot of mdma and vyvanse and ever since then I haven't felt right
It's like some depression came on and it's just like a numb to emotions kind of anhedonic depression and I have cognitive and social issues. It didn't seem like I had that when I was younger. Or could atleast feel things more
Now I have a hard time comprehending things, I obsess. Worry , repeat things over and over make the same mistakes struggle with anxiety and depression and I can't feel things socially ANYMORE. I can't interact with people or handle situations right. Can drugs make the symptoms come on more or can symptoms come on later in adolescence ?
I swear to God I was not like this before drugs. Can brain damage from drugs or mental illness mimic aspbergers ? | aspergers |
I'm currently recording an English version of my video about dynamic range compressors, but my past as a hermit is really wrecking me now. The thing is that as I've never got to improve my accent by social encounters, I'm currently banging my head against the wall for quite a simple script.
More often than not, I just feel the need to divide sentences into shorter sections and put them together afterwards, 'cause it's so hard to move fluently between the sounds you need to produce to say the words correctly.
They say learning Finnish is hard. Well, try learning to speak English as a 30 year old Finnish train wreck. Because of the novelty value of our language, people rarely discuss the agony of being looked down on for your backgrounds, as English is pretty much *de facto* language on everything. | aspergers |
I don’t know if I’m being crazy. I’m 17F. Always did really well in school because I was a smart kid and there was very little homework when I was younger. Tended to daydream a lot, disassociate, etc. (my school actually requested my parents to get a hearing test because they thought I could be deaf, that’s how unresponsive I was and still am when people talk to me). Also diagnosed with anxiety and depression, but even when I am feeling well, my organisational skills are terrible, I procrastinate like crazy. It’s only really started affecting me academically in my last two years of high school (studying A Levels). I do really well in class, then I just don’t complete homeworks lmao. Anyway, that’s not a comprehensive list of all the things I experience in relation to ADHD, but I really think I could have it.
I never considered ADHD as a diagnosis because I only knew about hyperactive/impulsive presentation, I didn’t know you could have combined/inattentive ADHD.
Anyway, I was referred to a psychiatrist by my GP and I’m waiting for a diagnosis. From people who have actually been diagnosed with ADHD, does this sound remotely like what you experience? I feel like a lot of people I know were diagnosed as children. | ADHD |
Friends, I am really struggling. I have clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder with comorbidities with both ADHD and [PMDD](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/premenstrual-syndrome/expert-answers/pmdd/faq-20058315).
I have a wonderful GP and a supportive family. My generous parents pay for my counsellor. I take medication for depression, anxiety, and ADHD.
I was recently diagnosed with inattentive-type ADHD as an adult and I started Vyvanse. I have now worked up to a fairly high dose, 60 mg daily (the maximum dose is 70 mg). At first it helped me a lot but now I feel like I've become resistant?
I feel like Vyvanse doesn't work anymore. My chief issues are inability to maintain concentration and executive function. I skipped one day twice to compare it to medicated days and I didn't feel different at all.
My concentration is terrible and trying to make myself focus feels like torture.
My mental health is awful and I'm absolutely miserable. And for a few days every month PMDD makes me twice as miserable and very irritable.
My issues with executive function make it hard for me to get things done. With my poor mental health, I can't even work right now, and I'm fortunate to have a great job. It bothers me that I worked so hard to have a career in forestry (getting a science degree with undiagnosed ADHD was A Time) and now I can't even do it.
I'm overwhelmed by emotion and upset often. It's very hard for me to do the self care I know I need like getting exercise.
I have a behavioural addiction to my phone and screens in general. I typically spend 10 hours looking at screens every day. I used to enjoy reading and now I can't concentrate enough to read my favourite author.
My friends, I need your advice. What should I do about my medication? Executive function issues? All your thoughts are appreciated. | ADHD |
Anyone experience this too?
Tips on how to express oneself healthily?
Sometimes when im so depressed and miserable explaining it to people with words isnt good enough. Im afraid of dying or feeling a high level of pain, but maybe hurting myself or half heartily attempting to die might just be enough to satisfy my need to express it and then people will recognize the severity of my words and feelings.
Extra:
Is it just for attention then?.... i guess so. I want people to recognize/notice how bad i feel so that i dont feel as alone. I want them to undersrand the severity of how bad i feel.
I am scared to die, dont really want to atm i guess. But i am soooo tempted to hurt myself really really bad so that maybe people will take my words more seriously... | depression |
I’ve been on prazosin for nightmares and night terrors. It’s worked really well, but within the last couple of weeks, I’ve had a sharp increase in nightmares again. My psych is taking me off of prazosin and putting me on cyproheptadine. Is anyone else on this? What are your experiences? | ptsd |
I feel so disconnected from life lately. I've tried reaching out through various apps due to my only friends being the ones I work with. I work with lots of people that I'm pretty good friends with yet I still feel so empty. Anyone out there just wanna talk and make a connection? | depression |
My OCD became so severe at a point i developed this cognitive decline + anhedonia... brain fog really sucks | OCD |
I’m having a pretty rough attack right now and if anybody feels like venting, maybe we can help each other out and calming each other down! | ptsd |
My abuser keeps on coming up in my thoughts. It’s as if he is hurting me more and he’s getting away with it. It’s so frustrating and disheartening at the same time. | ptsd |
Been seeing an outpouring of people having lots of trouble recently, including myself, and wanted to remind you guys that you aren’t your disorder!
You’re not your past and you’re doing amazingly! | OCD |
so anyone who has dealt with sexual obsessions have you ever masturbated to smuts about some of the stuff you didn't want to? is it normal?or am i into it, cause there are certain generes i still can read and masterbate to, and in all honesty i don't think im aroused by it at all in general, but i usually ejaculate to the description of sex in fics, but i always have an impulse to look up certain things, and then i get intrusive thoughts about actual people, it also feel like it feeds off my truama. and im scared im actually into this stuff. but im not. my brain needs to shut up in all honesty. | OCD |
TW: abusive relationships
TL;DR: despite getting out of my marriage and getting both of the kids, putting physical distance between us and moving on, I keep getting angry and wanting to ‘out’ my ex to the world.
People think (and thought) he was wonderful, funny, maybe a little irresponsible and impulsive, but a ‘fun guy’. They didn’t see what he was like at home, in the car, with the kids. They don’t know how he couldn’t stop drinking, the slurs he would use, the things he would say about me and the kids. Awful things. I think his family knows he cheated on me, and maybe they think that’s the reason for the divorce...but seriously, people MUST be wondering why he barely ever sees his kids, right? We have some mutual social media friends (although I blocked him) and every now and then just seeing them makes me so choked up and frozen and angry. The nightmares I have are most often about being trapped or held down by him and screaming, but everyone around ignores me.
I feel like saying something, posting his texts online, or informing his work of some of the semi-illegal (definitely unethical) things he has done would be counterproductive in the long run. But I just feel so fucking stifled and like I’m simmering inside. So today I’m posting this here in the hopes anyone has advice or similar experiences!?!?
Thanks all so much ❤️❤️ | ptsd |
Using a fresh account because I lowkey don't want anybody to know how heavily I've been thinking about this.
So, to give a little bit of context (And I already apologise in advance if this ends up being an unfathomable wall of text that nobody wants to read through): I am male, 32 years old. With 17 I started seeing psychiatrists because I just felt something was off with me; I kept feeling extremely driven and anxious, and I did the cardinal mistake of looking things up online, which brought me on this 'path' of finding out which diagnosis actually fits me. I was loosely diagnosed with EUPD and sent to therapy, which didn't do much; nothing really connected with me and why things were wrong with me; I simply lacked the understanding of what was being talked about (I vaguely remember my therapist metaphorising (if that is even a word) my tongue piercing as a 'symbol of stability', which I don't understand why she did that, but that's about it).
With 19 I moved out from home, got accepted into job training in the (at that time) second-largest IT company in the world and moved to the other end of the country, far away from my family. Two months later I was diagnosed with BPD, after having had a meltdown after work (we were sent to the HQ of one of the top insurance companies in the country and were supposed to learn from them and we were literally dealing with the live insurance accounts of the best footballers from that city's club, and the fear of messing something up was insane). Shortly before that I was having weekly psychotherapy sessions which - again - didn't make much sense to me, but I felt compelled to do so since I 'had this before anyway'.
Long story short, this event triggered a long chain of about 2.5 years of hospitalisations, therapy, more therapy and even more therapy, having a social worker as carer who'd check on me weekly, and during this entire time I always felt I'm wasting people's time, whatever is wrong with me is but an ant's fart compared to what other people are going through. I was never suicidal (though I did believe I was, much to my own embarrassment today), I was never impulsive. (TW) >!I did perform SH though, but not as a 'valve', but more because my state of mind at that time made me feel compelled to do it!<. I never participated in reckless behaviour outside of one instance where I deliberately 'crashed' my bycicle into someone whom I could have easily dodged, but it was no attempt to harm them. In fact, I don't even know why I did it. Part of me thinks it was all part of what I perceive now as being utterly pretentious and being a nuisance to everybody.
No, during all of this I never felt I'm actually what I was 'supposed' to be. I felt like the odd one out, I had a complete lack of understanding of why people would be upset with me and my tantrums/antics and I now believe I was doing it on purpose akin to 'See? I really do have issues! I'm not making this up!' but at the same time... At the time these things happened they felt as realistic as could be.
(I'm trying to keep this short but I already see I'm writing way too much. I'm so sorry...)
To fast forward this, in 2012 after breaking up a pretty dysfunctional relationship I stopped eating, until after two weeks of measured 100 kcal / day I ended up in hospital after having a binge at the house of an acquaintance, which sent my guts into shock. From that point on I had binge/fast episodes until I was being admitted for clinical therapy for an eating disorder. Again, I felt everything I was doing was on purpose, that I didn't have to do this, but this clown in my brain kept jamming his mallet on my synapses and I kept doing what I perceive as being pretentious (Despite having genuine meltdowns in therapy sessions, which made me believe something was REALLY wrong). At that time everything felt surreal, somewhat realistic, but at the same time obscure and bizarre. I couldn't acknowledge whether it was what I was actually feeling or thinking.
Fast forward again, in 2014, after moving cities, I (TW) >!overcame my fear of throwing up!<, which really made the eating disorder spiral out of control, though I never felt more in control in my entire life than then. Everything I did and touched went great. I became a well-recognised and successful busker, I volunteered in a children's neurology ward, I lost weight (I never was fat, never even chubby). Despite being poor as hell and becoming a thief to satisfy the disorder, my life felt on track. I never mentioned my issues to anybody, until I got hospitalised for critically low potassium. This triggered another series of hospitalisation where I ... really just wanted to leave and go back to a clinic I was in before for the disorder. But once there I burned all bridges, left the country and moved to live with a friend in the UK.
The disorder followed me and once I found a job (A remote one I still do to this day and where I excel in a lot of things) and my own place to live it got worse; after two years I moved to Scotland and probably reached the lowest point ever, having to beg colleagues for a tenner here and there because I didn't dare stealing again, reaching my lowest weight ever and again, searching treatment but when given the opportunity, deny it. I recovered when (TW) >!I hit my 'goal weight' (what a stupid term...) and realised that I was almost dead!<.
In all of this I don't think I ever said what I was truly feeling. If I think back now, it feels more that I always said what I thought I was supposed to be feeling, with the ED part definitely feeling a lot more real than the BPD part. Damn, there's so much more I could list up from all sections of my life where I was convinced that 'this is what I'm feeling and thinking' but looking back it all feels so fake, as if I was just pushing myself onto that mould, to desperately fit into a category.
For four years I've been pretty stable now, but regularly have my inadequacies shamelessly pop up. Socialising was never easy (The only way to handle it was alcohol) so when I stopped drinking I simultaneously retreated back into my corner in my room more and more.
A couple of days ago I started thinking about "What actually happened in my life?" and started dissecting my life events, trying to make sense of them. My best friend, whom I've been living with for 3.5 years now and who is the only person I let close and trust (for the most part), over the course of the years brought up several times how she thinks I have ADHD and should get tested, due to my mind being extremely vivid and me saying very random things at very random times, because it's things that I just want to talk about in these situations.
It might just sound extremely dumb what I'm about to say now. I've been looking into ASD, reading up about it from different (serious) sources, looking at tests such as the RAADS-R and lurking around this sub to see if any of the things that bother me a lot would be experiences that people on here might have experienced (Which, to a shockingly large degree, held true), tried to apply it to what happened in my life, and - very carefully - I \*want\* to say that, looking at my life through this lens, a lot of events would make a lot more sense, but a very big part of me is afraid that it's just my brain trying to push itself into a mould again , to have a label, despite me actively avoiding labels as much as humanly possible in the past three or so years.
What I'm trying to say is, I feel like I may have something on the spectrum, but at the same time I'm scared that I'm just misinterpreting things, that I'm just trying to fit into that mould because certain things could fit. I'm feeling a lot of guilt regarding my past, having used psychiatry services for no apparent benefit and wasting the time of everybody involved, despite clearly exhibiting behaviours that could be considered pathologic. Though I'm scared of being dismissed as and laughed at as attention-seeker, I will ask my GP I will ask them about a referral to an assessment.
... Christ in hell, this turned out a lot longer than I planned.
I just wanted to ask, kindly, if people who actually have dealt with this would say "Yeah, don't bother, you're probably just one of THOSE people. Please just leave, don't make us look stupid." or if they say "Better get that checked out."
And yes, I understand if that is a lot to ask for since I didn't provide any details about what applies to my life in what ways, because I felt like it would be extremely agonising for people to read EVEN MORE. I'm happy to clarify further, though. | aspergers |
Now I have a messed up mouth... I'm 26, no job to get fancy toothbrush :( what do I do? How do people brush for two minutes twice a day floss and have good teeth? Mine are just cracked, yellow and broken... | OCD |
So before I was diagnosed I got into trouble at work for not paying attention or randomly walking to another area of where I work without saying anything and at the time I didn’t know what was happening. I now know that these are dissociative episodes and that they affect my work. I started a new job and yesterday started wandering again. I think. But I don’t think anyone noticed yet. How do I explain it to them? Is there a professional way to say that these aren’t on purpose? I really need this job so quitting isn’t an option. I have too many debts. | ptsd |
I just want to rent a cabin for a month and just chill out in nature. I want to go hiking and kayaking so badly. Want to see and take pictures of all sorts of animals around me. Maybe even have my own creepy crytid experience (joking, but would be fun). Something about the woods just feels like it’s calling to me, like Elsa in the beginning of frozen 2. Only problem is all my friends hate the woods. They prefer just staying in and doing nothing, which is fair but I don’t want to explore the woods on my own. Sometimes I do get obsessed with ah idea of a place to go or thing to do but no one else wants to do it, but I’ll answer the call of the wild one day. | ADHD |
Been feeling better yesterday and today. Not sure why. Just going to try enjoy it while it lasts. Hopefully it will last a while and me more frequent | depression |
My iq is in the genius range. (Cringe, I know) School has fucked my all these years. I get a good score, they put my in a lower level because they don't think I can handle the work load. I prove myself, get a really good average grade; They fuck me again by not allowing me to go to a higher level of schooling, but they allow another dude with the same grade as mine. Sick dude.
I lose motivation. I fail, fail and fail. I end up doing a foundation year for physics at uni.
Morale: low
Probability of me getting in: low
94 spots only in the first year.
Education has always been so important to me. I hate it.
I lost hope. I've got several friends and an amazing girlfriend. Yet, I feel so alone. No one gets me. Or rather, I get no one. Life is an endless pile of disappointments with the occasional pat on the back. Fuck this man.
I'll try one last time and if I don't succeed, I will consider killing myself. And that thought saddens me. But it seems like the only logical option in terms of balance. | depression |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.