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recently i’ve been talking to my therapist about possibly going on meds for my adhd and she told me that it would be tough to prescribe meds for me because i also have anxiety and a lot of the medications have a potential to increase it (which makes sense to me since most of them are stimulants). however i have heard that some people that have gone on meds have had less anxiety and an overall improved mood. i know that everyone responds differently to these things but if anyone could tell me their experience that would be great in helping me decide what i want to do. | ADHD |
I just got back from a new year's "party" at work, I didn't feel like going, but I ended up going because a colleague who was taking leave of absence wanted to say goodbye to us.
And in the conversations, I realize that I try to stay afloat in a world that is not mine. I fight for the day to day in front of people who, in my same category, are mostly between 7 or 10 years younger than me. My superiors who have different goals than me, better, more realistic for what the position entails ... They have families, goals ... I just want the day to end to hide in bed again ... And the continuum wish not to wake up ...
What am I doing in a world like that?
What can I do when I know that the problem is me? | depression |
Ok, strange question for you all; what have you hyperfocused on that could fit into a stocking?
I love putting things into my kids' stockings that could inspire a hyperfocus, or are just plain neat. Any suggestions? Right now there's weighted pens for spinning, a sling like the David vs Goliath kind, and double sided coins for...idk magic? Weirdness' sake? Lol
So what small things would you (or have you) enjoy finding in your stocking?
(I hope this kind of question is allowed, I read the rules so I think it's ok?) | ADHD |
i’m so alone and sad. i just have so much built up emotions and anger and emotional issues but nobody knows it and it turns me into someone that just wants to spill every moment i get. i wish i was drunk. i want to feel happy. i want someone to hold me and ask me if i’m okay so i can just cry and tell them and they’ll understand. i cant talk to anyone. everyone just thinks i’m a shitty person. really i just make so many mistakes and don’t know how to fix them. i make everything worse until it gets so bad i can’t do anything. i’m just sad. and tired. and broken. i’m cold every second of the day. i just want something to make my brain quiet. i just want to cry and be held and have someone tell me they’ll be here for me. i’m so alone. i wish i was drunk or high because then maybe my brain will just shut up. i dont know what to do. i’m not a horrible person. i just don’t know what to do. | depression |
I have been put on Zoloft. Has anyone been on Zoloft for ocd? Has it helped at all? x | OCD |
I believe the way I have been treated by some women has crossed a line and could be considered abuse. The problem I’m having is that, at least from my experiences, women take indirect routes. It’s difficult to summarise what has happened and how I think it’s abuse without going into a huge amount of detail.
I’ve dated a person who was quite aggressive. I don’t hold it against them, they were taking new tablets at the time and the person I was dealing with didn’t seem to be who they genuinely were. They were influenced. I found I was very comfortable when they got aggressive because it was direct. I felt free while they did it. I felt like I could communicate my issues with this person and how they were acting, and I would be understood by the outside world. | aspergers |
I honestly feel like I may be the only one here, but I feel like I constantly see tiktoks about ome obsession in particular (religion + hell) and i never like any of the content about it, so i can't understand why it keeps coming up on my for you page, which makes me feel like god is putting the tiktoks there as a sign. so yeah :( | OCD |
Sorry for the clickbait, but I thought I'd use other people's experiences to finally take control of my life.
I hate the direction my life has taken right now. I'm living with a roommate I can't stand and work a job that I absolutely hate. Unfortunately, in order to live the life I want, I must run the rat race. I choose not to take medicine because I don't want to be reliant on it, so I go about more natural methods like following a quite strict and structured schedule, meditation, yoga, things of the such.
Since my executive function is so jacked, what are some things you've done to force the issue in order to live the life you've come to love?
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tl;dr: A bunch of decisions have me in complete distress and my living and occupational situation aren't making it any better. What have you done to drastically change your life to live on your own terms? | ADHD |
I suspect I have attention related problems but wanted to see a specialist about it first. I told my GP (general practitioner) about my concerns and they agreed to refer me to a specialist. However, it has been well over a week and have not received a call regarding that. What I'm wondering is: is it possible that they forgot to refer me or is this something that takes a while? And can I simply call the docs office to ask if they can make sure it was done or do I really need to schedule another appointment? | ADHD |
you know that feeling of not enjoying anything life has to offer because you don’t even want to be a part of this earth or anything society has to offer… Lmao like really ? Is this all that life is?
And before you say I probably haven’t experienced much, think again. I lived in two different countries, speak two languages, I’ve seen so many different artist live in concerts, I’ve traveled to different cities etc… I know how to drive all kinds of cars. I’ve gone camping before.. etc.
But like I still wish I never existed. | depression |
I (28M) was just diagnosed with ADHD-C last week. Today, I just got my first prescription of Adderall (5mg 2x/day to start) and will be taking my first dose tomorrow morning.
I’m scared, nervous, all of that as I really haven’t ever taken meds other than OTC stuff for cough and ibuprofen/acetametephen. So mainly just worried about side effects.
But I’m also excited. I’ve seen all of the positives of it. I’m impulsive especially with money, inattentive and need to constantly be doing something in order to not be bored. Im not productive at home and lacking productivity at work currently. I’m hoping to fix most/all of this.
I’m thankful for this subreddit cuz it’s given me the courage to move forward with this and to jumpstart the rest of my life.
Here goes everything! | ADHD |
I have had extreme anxiety on adderall . I have ptsd and anxiety prior to this. I even lowered my dose to 10 xr twice daily from 20 xr
I just don't know what I should do . The 1st few hrs I seem ok .For the first two weeks then as it wore off the anxiety hit and crying. Now even on it, its causing it. Is there something I'm doing wrong? Is there something different that could possibly work better? I have tried many antidepressants in the past but nothing worked for anxiety. I felt this is helping but then it's starting going downhill.
Any advice would be wonderful thank you all so much!! | ADHD |
So, I've been diagnosed for... about half a year I think? On meds for the last four or so months, been absolutely amazing and it's helped me in areas I didn't even expect.
As a teen, I was pretty active in political activism. Was a board member of the Green Party's local youth wing, joined union protests, help organize an international climate organization, the works. However, as the demands of university grew, I had less and less executive function to spend on things I thought important. I've basically been a hermit for the last three or four years, barely able to care for myself, much less my community.
Thanks to my meds, I've got the exec function to volunteer again. I joined the neighbourhood council, my first meeting's Monday. I've just gotten back from teaching kids sea shanties (a big passion of mine) at the local Sea Cadet Corps (and most of them were really enthusiastic!). I'm able to help make my local area better again, and *GOD* I missed being able to do good things.
Iunno, I'm just really happy and I wanted to share. Hope you're all having a good day too :) | ADHD |
I’m on 40mg Vyvanse daily, and whilst it works GREAT at work and for focusing, it honestly makes me a short-tempered and irritable person. Around strangers or colleagues I’m fine, but around close friends, family or my boyfriend I’m awfully snappy and irritable. I have the best boyfriend who fully understands it’s because of the meds who I’m thankful for!
Has anyone experienced the same and what was your solution?
I’ve tried Ritalin which made me an emotional wreck everyday so definitely prefer the Vyvanse!
Thanks guys! | ADHD |
You've got ADHD? You know how this goes.
Meet a woman, she's great. Out of my league. Thinks I'm attractive. Been out on three dates. Four hours, fourteen, and then ten. Each. I haven't scared her off. Told her all of my flaws, that I can remember. I just don't hold back, but do it tactfully.
What's wrong with her? She's got anxiety and takes meds. I'm 33, she's 26. She teaches 1st graders (5-6 y/o for you non-Americans). I'm in IT, so workplace romance, if you will. Love of Star Wars, even though I'm a Trekkie. She was a cheerleader and homecoming queen. I was a band nerd. Opposing football teams, but not a big deal (SEC vs ACC). I like thicker women, she's petite, which isn't really a problem. Ginger allergy, NBD.
What's right? Shares the same belief system. Positive attitudes in both of us. Her mom taught me physics 16 years ago (and likes me, afaik). The right kind of feminist (legit equal rights, like fully, no exclusuons). Same musical tastes, I.e. classic 70s rock and modern music across multiple genres. Quotes Letterkenny. Great sense of humor. Likes my dad bod.
Look, I took her on a 14 hour date. For our second date. She didn't bail. Knows I'm older and divorced. I've not had this connection for 5+ years with someone. Usually, I call it quits after the third date. Not gonna lie, I like her. Hell, during the second date I "jokingly" asked her what she was doing the rest of my life and if she was open to getting married that day. Answers were "No plans" and "Why not?" I chickened out, since she called my bluff.
I'm lost. She's coming over tomorrow for dinner and a movie (not Netflix and chill, kids), I'm making a few things to showcase my culinary skills ;). She's a great kisser. Idk what to do besides be myself, which I've been doing. I guess I'm just scared. Scared I'll scare her away with me being me. I don't think she will be, but that's the fear I live with.
Just looking for words of encouragement.
Edit: Wooo! She came over, we talked while she watched me cook for a while. Watched the majority of the movie, kept moving closer and closer, made out. Five hours together I guess. Anywho, I think she might be interested in me lol. | ADHD |
I've only had this happen me once. But I am quite anti social so I don't really talk to anyone if I don't have to. But I could even talk when she was flirting with me. She probably thought I did like her so she stop. She was cute to and I screwed it up anyone else have the same experience? | aspergers |
I am recently diagnosed and awaiting titration. I am a couple of pounds underweight (like literally 2 or 3 lbs, nothing extreme). A friend told me they heard that, because weight loss can be a side effect of stimulants, I might be denied medication on the grounds of my weight.
I can't find any evidence for this, but it's making me really worried. Can someone either confirm or deny what my friend said?
TL;DR: title | ADHD |
I've been going between my provider, pharmacy, and insurance for the last month or so trying to get back on meds after a year of being unmedicated and slowly performing worse and worse at work.
My managers are pissed at me, and every day I'm exhausted after getting so little work done over the course of a day. Even looking at my inbox brings me very close to a panic attack and I can't keep up with all the admin work on top of what I'm actually supposed to be spending my time on. I feel like I just need everything to stop for a second while I get my bearings and plan my way out of this pile of backed up work, but the stacks keep getting higher and higher. Every day feels like rejection, reprimand, and failure.
I'm hoping this script shit gets wrapped up today and I can make it work. I know I can do this, but I also know I can't without either meds or riding the anxiety/adrenaline waves and hoping they come fast enough to keep me from getting written up.
Just really really tired. | ADHD |
I'm a guy in my 20's. Been diagnosed with ADHD since I was younger than 10. I did Straterra for a few years, than Adderall, now Effexor. I've also done neurofeedback treatment with some success. I'm a functional adult and some would say I have all my shit together, but I still feel the symptoms everyday.
My close friend since childhood and I have always been creative. We used to draw a lot and were interested in a lot of different things. Once I got to high school I stopped drawing and kind of stopped being creative. I'd get into different things for awhile - guitar, creative writing, and other kinds of art. I would get super into something for like a month and then lose interest. I'd jump around a lot of different things. My friend however, never stopped drawing and is now a professional artist. I am so happy for him.
I just wish I had the ability to stick with something. I want to be passionate about something. I feel like my creative and spiritual life is just wandering because I can't maintain focus on something long term. I'm tired of getting excited about something, telling people about it, and then losing interest. I'd like to be good at something rather than mediocre at 10 different things. Despite being on less effective treatment when I was younger, I at least had excitement and creativity. I miss that. | ADHD |
I posted this in traumatoolbox too but there arent that many people active on there so I thought i'd post this here too, im sorry if its not allowed:
ive been having this feeling for ages and i cant seem to find anything on the internet that's similar. i just turned 17 and im horrified of growing up to the point that its making me suicidal. i cry about aging and not being able to be a little kid again and it hurts so bad. i had a bit of a traumatic childhood so i guess its most likely something to do with that but i cant seem to find anything on the internet about it, or anyone who feels the same. it's really bad. one time i started sobbing because i saw a child in a commercial and it reminded me that im not a child lol | ptsd |
i read somewhere that ocd could develop or be accentuated by trauma. i have no actual source to back this up but does anyone have any knowledge of this? (with reliable sources please) | OCD |
Does anyone have any advice on how to better convey your emotions or ideas? I’m often misunderstood when I attempt to explain how I feel.
I’ve been told many times that I can be “long winded” when I speak and other times people have told me that I tend to leave important details out when trying to explain things.
Ironically, this is because I’m trying to be more brief with my words.
This level of misunderstanding has been a VERY confusing and frustrating theme throughout my life.
Coupled with a tendency to be annoyingly forgetful, it’s caused family and friends to become upset to the point where they think I don’t care about them or what they say. This couldn’t be farther from the truth.
TL,DR: I’m sad about people always misunderstanding me when I communicate and recall information. Any advice is would be awesome. Thank you my fellow aspies. | aspergers |
A nice warm feeling as the weight of the world is lifted of your shoulders. I'm not suicidal but death seems pretty alright | depression |
I have Asperger’s Syndrome. My daughter was just diagnosed with whatever they call it now in America (high functioning autism?). Her heart will be broken.
I would have loved to be diagnosed earlier (I was in my 30’s).
Does anyone have any advice? | aspergers |
The first study session went well. I manage to study on my Psychology subject without the intrusive thoughts. I studied for about 1 hour and decided to rest for a bit. Halfway through the second session, I couldn't control the thoughts anymore, and the caffeine in my system didnt help either. | OCD |
Does anyone else here have a much smaller appetite whilst eating in the kitchen or some other place youre not as comftrable in.
Like I can down a good couple plates next to my computer at my table but barely touch anything in the kithen table. | aspergers |
I have had undiagnosed issues for a long time. Had my share of substance abuse problems, sobered up, and I still face a lot of the challenges I did before and during drugs.
I dont think im lazy, just depressed and I cant do the important things I need to do in my life. I am really a sinking ship at this time. I have noticed a couple other similarities but I just still am so unsure. | ADHD |
So I’ve been using an electric toothbrush for a while, but it messes with me. The vibrations just… ugh. I want to switch back to a normal toothbrush, but what if my dentist gets angry. But, at the same time if I don’t my teeth will get even crummier because I can barely keep it in my mouth for 15 seconds. Tips or a good (normal not electric) toothbrush brand? | ADHD |
One of the most heartbreaking things to witness is them holding your best friends hand. The feelings of betrayal, Heartbreak and Anger all add up. | depression |
I just desperately need to get this out there...
Im sorry to myself and everyone else. Im sorry for degrading myself to nothing but a piece of fucking worthless trash by publicly posting nsfw pics on nsfw subreddits (btw please dont look im kinda ashamed but at the same time idk if i should delete them or not bc i want the reminders from others that i am "beautiful enough"). Im truly very sorry. I just simply wanted the positive attention after very recently experiencing a traumatic event. Im sorry. I already have diagnosed PTSD from a previous traumatic event i experienced earlier this year. I did almost the same thing after i experienced that traumatic event. I dont fucking know whats wrong w me, or why i think this is anything close to an acceptable coping skill. It just makes me feel even worse in the long run.
Yes, im seeing my therapist very soon, and im going to own up to her about what i did.
Sometimes i think i should just go back to a residential treatment center, even though i just came out of one a month ago. I dont fucking know. My bulimia is going back to worsening. Others say ive appeared to have lost weight, even though all i see in the mirror is nothing but a fat, disgusting pig. Im just a fucking broken mess rn. Ive been having mental breakdowns over this every day for the past few days.
Again, im sorry. | ptsd |
Of course this obvious, but if I just had a little bit more dopamine going through my brain while I did homework I feel like it’d take me so much less time to complete and it’d be so much easier to actually make myself do. I’m failing almost all of my classes not because I’m stupid but rather that I just CANNOT make myself do homework. Do you guys have any tips on keeping the adhd monster in my brain at least partially content while I do my work???? | ADHD |
Well, I'm here again. Took me a little longer to officially get here as opposed to previous times. I've been struggling with real event and rumination. I hate my brain. My brain hates me. We are not happy. | OCD |
I’ve been clinically diagnosed with depression in the past and was medicated / did cognitive therapy. When stressful times presented themselves again, I recognized them enough to get help. But here I am again! My life has been a whirlwind recently with one of my 3 children being diagnosed with a handicap, work being crazy demanding and unfulfilling, and my ex checking out of parenting responsibilities (he has the kids only every other weekend but that’s too much, so he’s leaving them with me over Christmas). I have no family nearby BUT am blessed with a wonderful boyfriend who’s at my side.
I feel so guilty because I did virtually no Christmas traditions this year with my boys and have pretty much emotionally checked out. I’m terrified to get more help because I don’t have the time for therapy. I have no “me” time left after caring for my kids as it is!!
My BF is out with friends tonight so I bought the ingredients for my favourite dinner, yet they sit untouched in the fridge. I’ve barely eaten in 24h.
I hate this time of the year. | depression |
Let me preface by saying I am not suicidal. Hey all, for the past few weeks I’ve been dealing with depression, numbness, panic attacks, and just general paranoia and irrational fears at certain places and time. It’s always the same. In my bedroom or at a certain room where I work, between 8:30 pm and 1:00 am. No exceptions. Besides those places at that timeframe, my life is mentally healthy and stable. But I break down every night start the cycle over again. I have a very very very long history with depression, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts and actions, and depersonalization for years prior but recovered close to a year and a half ago. None of these places hold any meaning in my life that would merit this. I didn’t even have this job back when I was depressed. I think I may have had an auditory hallucination but I’m unsure because I do not know whether it was real or not. It wouldn’t make any logical sense if it was real but it sounded like it came from an actual location, not just a hallucination. Between college and financial troubles therapy isn’t rly an option here, so y’all are my only source for answers.
Edit: For clarification, the paranoia is so bad that I sometimes have to leave work, take long complicated routes home to make sure nobody is following me, and lock all my doors. Even the ones in my house, like my closet or bathroom. I can’t sleep with the lights off I have to know where everything is at all times. I feel like I’m losing my mind. | depression |
Almost everything I do feels wrong and I don’t know how to stop it or what to do. I’m lucky that I’m mostly self aware and I know that I didn’t do anything wrong but it always FEELS like I did.
I’m not sure if this is an OCD thing, an anxiety thing, a trauma thing?
I go to work. Have a great shift. Get all my job duties done. Interact with coworkers/clients well. Clock in, clock out. That seems great right? Everything was done well and to the best of my abilities? Nope. I go home and I think super hard to try to figure out what I did wrong, because I tell myself there has to be something that I did wrong. I basically torture myself. I convince myself that I’m terrible at my job and I’m gonna get fired or yelled at or something. I know none of this is true. Not to toot my own horn, but I’m really good at my job. I take great pride in what I do. My clients and coworkers are happy with me. But I still convince myself that some part of my day was wrong.
Or even today, I was running late because of something completely out of my control. No one is going to get mad at me for clocking in three minutes late but I’m mad at myself for it. I wanted to grab coffee before work and I obviously didn’t because I wasn’t going to allow myself to be even more late. So I asked my friend who lives about 15 mins down the road to bring me one if he wasn’t doing anything and he did. Even that felt wrong. I’m sitting here like why did I even ask? Do I deserve my friends doing things for me? Yes, but I can’t let myself accept that.
Not looking for reassurance because I logically know that the thoughts are not real. Just looking to see if anyone else has these types of feelings of “always being wrong.” I honestly hate it. | OCD |
I KNOW HOW TO HAVE CONVERSATIONMS, I DON'T LOOK AT ANY OF MY FAMILY LIKE THAT, I DON'T WANT TO TANSITION , I DONT WANT TO HURT MYSELF OR OTHERS, I WANT THIS TO STOP I WAN'T MY BRAIN BACK.
sorry i just needed to let that out cause it needs to stop. it is literally killing me, trying to convince me to do stuff i don't want to do, or that i cant speak, or that i'm unintelligable cause i have a literal fear that i am, and i think it feeds off of that. i want to be normal, i want to make friends.
i see my therapist for the first session of therapy in 9is days, hopefully things are looking up for me, but im tired of this, cause i have a friend i just had a nice conversation with a good flowing texting conversation with, and then my ruminations had to ruin it afterwards and be like you cant speak, your unintelligable. and UGGGGHHHHHHH.
and im tired of my brain trying to convience me that i look at my family members sexually, i don,t and then when i get a groinal response while having these thoughts i get anxious and it gets worse it sucks. i want one hout of peace and quiet.
oh and i also want it to stop trying to convience me that im not gay, i already know that i am. or that it tries to convience me that im trans which im not i literally hate this, cause i know who i am. why do you want to make me question myself, i was happy with who i was less than a year ago.
i didn't have many of these problems before covid and now it happens all the time, everyday.
i mean the only one that would really happen is the unintellagiable one, mostly cause i dont have a broad vocabulary, i need to download a word learning app or something cause its kinda bad, like i know i know some words but i need to relearn them, cause i know what i want to say. but its like its on the tip of my tounge, but since i don't know the words, i need to reroute and use different words. if you understand what i mean. im tired of this shit. | OCD |
Have been making more of an effort to do things the depression makes it hard to do so I can start getting better. An example is that I've been avoiding the Animal Crossing update since it's overwhelming to me, but I told myself to give it a try today since my mood has improved a little.
So I charged my Switch for the first time in months. Even bought the DLC. Said hi to my villagers again before installing anything. Tried to download it, but it wouldn't work (and I tried several fixes and made several attempts). I think all my save data disappeared, and I can't even open the game anymore.
I'm so upset. I know I shouldn't blow this out of proportion, but this is such an accurate representation of my luck the past few months that I wonder why I try when I get insta-punished.
How do you deal with this? | depression |
Hi. I have Pure O. I have extreme, unwanted views about violence, taboo topics and sexual thoughts. I usually act upon the violent thoughts. I get thoughts of punching someone or something and I usually break into a flurry of punches in real life. When I'm going for a jog and I get a violent thought, I notice my body stiffens up and I begin to run faster. Does anyone else have this issue or is it just me? (I have never acted on a sexual thought, thank god) | OCD |
I get anxiety about fapping cause I feel like it’s bad for me (it does make me tired, more ocd, passive and kind of lazy). But I also ocd about nofap nuking my sex drive or making me worse which gives me anxiety. Lose lose situation. Always stuck between the two ways of thought. Anyone else understand? | OCD |
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 18, so about a year ago. I was first prescribed Concerta, but it gave me awful crashes. My psychiatrist switched me to Vyvanse after about a month. I started on 20 mg Vyvanse then increased it to 40 mg, which I have been on since last March (about 7 months now). At first, I experienced similar but less intense crashes, but these went away after a month and I felt fine for a while. Vyvanse was incredibly effective. I only experienced minor side effects of decreased appetite, dry mouth, and some trouble sleeping.
Until about two months ago. Maybe it's because I'm back at school and my work load is increased, but over the past two months it has started to affect me differently. After it kicks in, I feel good for two hours, almost like a "high," and then for the rest of the day I feel weird/off, sort of dissociative, and super anxious/jittery. I also completely lose my appetite when I take it. When it wears off, I feel normal again. On days I don't take it, I feel much more like myself, but unfortunately there are very few days where I am able to skip it because of homework.
Vyvanse is still effective in that I'm able to do what I need to do, but I'm confused because side effects typically lessen with time. I brought this up to my psychiatrist and he suggested cutting caffeine, which I did and didn't notice a difference. He didn't want to lower my dose because he thought 30 mg would not be enough. I also started taking SSRIs around the time I noticed this change (first Zoloft, then Lexapro), so I'm wondering if that's the cause. If anyone has any knowledge/information, especially about the interaction between Vyvanse and Lexapro, I would greatly appreciate it! | ADHD |
This is my first post. I just got off the phone with a clinic that provides trauma-based therapies, like EMDR. I am crying and rocking at the moment.
It's been about a year since the events. Well, the entirety of last year has been a pretty downward spiral. It took a few months for the disturbing violent/sexual nightmares and night sweats to set in, when I started to realize this has to be more than depression. I took a test called the PCL-5, which I scored a 68 on (I guess you only need 33 to be diagnosed PTSD). That was what kinda forced me to confront myself with what was happening and told me I need to find help. Not really the score itself, but just answering the questions was eye opening. It's been hard to admit that I was traumatized, that what I experienced was trauma. As I'm sure everyone thinks to themselves "it wasn't really that bad, was it?"
The clinic said they could probably get me seen in about a month.
I don't know what else to say. I'm both scared and excited. I've been pretty depressed and non-functional for months. Haven't been able to work, or barely even go outside. I've lost contact with friends, and can't really look people in the eyes anymore. I don't remember the last time I was really happy or content. It hurts. | ptsd |
tw suicide
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PTSD related from friend attempting suicide when I was a kid. And then I almost attempted suicide because I was emotionally abused online for talking about it.
I can't get it out of my head that I Need To Prevent A Suicide. Because You Gotta. You Can't Just Sit There And Watch It Happen All Over Again. So you get in arguments, and you get angry, and you overstep, and you push boundaries, and stick your nose into other people's business, and people get mad at you, but its ok because you can deal with people getting angry at you if it means someone lives.
All week I've just had images and thoughts of this person killing themselves. And like, how would their family feel? Their friends? What would happen to them? So you've GOT TO DO SOMETHING.
And then people get really mad at you. And accuse you of suicide baiting. And go around acting like you were manipulating and guilttripping them.
But when I'm in the moment, I am *absolutely convinced* I can prevent a suicide if I just find the right things to say. And everyone just kind of...treats me like I'm crazy for it. I feel crazy. I think I probably am.
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My friend telling me about her suicide attempt came out of the blue. I was 14. We'd spent the day on [joinme](https://joinme.com) where we could chat and see each others screens. She had her friend round and we teased eachother. He asked me for my pic I think in a joking way and I said 'sure' and then sent him a photo of a horse's butt. And then it was evening and my friend told me she'd attempted suicide 2 weeks prior. A boy she liked said something rude to her a party and she toppled over the edge from that one comment, and went home and tried to kill herself and went to sleep and woke up the next day.
So it was a happy day for me with my friend. I was happy. And then the suicide trauma came along in literally a second.
I still don't trust that anybody's truly happy. Even if they act it. I still have the suspicion they're going to try and leave.
So how can I just sit back. Even if I *know* it's more than likely things will be okay. How do I sit back in the knowledge that there's even the tiniest possiblility it won't be okay.
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Seeing somebody being cyberbullied online made me trauma-relapse. Spent the week *absolutely convinced* I can make this stop. That it's my *responsibility* and my *duty* to make it stop. That I need to prevent a suicide.
A lot of people are mad at me now for sticking my nose in.
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I wish I wasn't this way. I wish I wasn't traumatized. I wish I didn't feel this way. When I get into the middle of a PTSD episode I can't think straight. The episodes can last anywhere from a couple of hours to a couple of weeks, or more. I get angry. I say and do things I wouldn't normally do. I cry all the time. I think about self-harm and suicide. I see danger everywhere. I see suicide in everybody I talk to and everybody I meet. I do knee-jerk things without thinking them through. I overreact to every criticism and assume they're going to emotionally abuse me again. I start crying over the tiniest things. I start drowning in guilt for everything I do. I obsess over what I've done wrong and whether people hate me for it.
​
I haven't relapsed in a year. I thought I was over it. And then this week just triggered me completely out of the blue and it's been a complete and utter spiral from there.
​
I just don't want it to happen all over again. | ptsd |
I text my friends they are all normal, they…I can’t I just started to cry… anyways, they don’t have OCD, HOCD or panick attacks every day, they haven’t seen their mom’s cry cuz they don’t know what to do to help them anymore and I do and I feel guilty about it… I I could just hit my head and fix everything I would… believe me I would… | OCD |
Lately when I go to sleep I've been having dreams of people I really care about who I don't talk to anymore. My exs mostly, but also good friends I used to have. The dreams are always made up scenarios but just the fact that they're being brough back up to me when I don't usually remember my dreams is really hurting me.
I'm losing sleep and feeling like I'm losing bits of my mind each night now. I wish I knew what caused it. Maybe it has something to do with me wanting to have a friend to talk to or be in another relationship, I'm not really sure.
I just wish they would stop happening, I'm not in the best mentality to be dealing with things that were out of my control in the first place. | depression |
I was abused sexually as a child and have dealt with depression, anxiety, and PTSD symptoms my entire life (24F). Through a combo of therapy and meds, I have been PTSD symptom free for at least a year. However, I recently saw a picture of my abuser and now I'm having flashbacks, nightmares, insomnia, the whole package. For a bit I was unable to leave my house without hyperventilating. However, I've been self medicating (on top of my normal meds) with wax (marijuana) every night to at least help with the nightmares and insomnia. It's definitely helpful, but I can't shake the anxiety during the day or the occasional flashback. I'm also a terrible skin picker and it's very clear from the open sores I have all over that I'm struggling a bit.
I've been recommended by friends to unpack my trauma with my therapist, but I just don't know if it's worth trying to do that. It's pretty well buried, minus the small blips of PTSD.
Idk what I hope to gain from this post. Support and advice, I suppose? Idk just feeling more on edge today. | ptsd |
i was diagnosed & started treatment in July. titrated up to 60mg vyvanse around August, realised it was too high & went back down to 40mg as I had the most benefits then before trying methylphenidates. i’ve been on 40mg again for 3 weeks & i do clean & go out more however i’m still scatty, my hyperactivity has improved (less troubling) but i still feel inattentive af. i’m still scatty in most areas, i can stick things out more & i’m more docile but there’s no massive improvements, i’m less hyper but still scatty according to my best friends & i’d say i’d agree.
so, as much as part of me doesn’t want to change medication again as i’m bored of titration i know it’s important & if something works better than this then i want it!
TL;DR: if anyone’s swapped from vyvanse to another medication like methylphenidate, what’s worked for u? i’m not too sure on which one to try & id like to hear ur experiences. also if anyone had any insight onto why vyvanse might not work as well for some i’d love to know! thanks | ADHD |
I have been wondering if I have been calling my 'flashbacks' the right thing. I've been referring to intense rumination, physical stress symptoms, nausea and blood rush to the head when triggered as flashbacks but I don't literally see anything or get transported, I just ruminate on my experience.
Am I supposed to be like, disassociated and catatonic? | ptsd |
Hi all. I recently found this subreddit. I've struggled with the thought of having ptsd for a while, and I can't tell whether or not I do. I associate ptsd with extreme traumatic circumstances, i.e war, police work, first responders, extreme physical abuse cases, etc. The abuse I've suffered is emotional as well as mental, but was never physical. However, memories, seeing things that remind me of the person that did it, seeing the person (pictures, name, etc.) and even certain mannerisms or phrases that remind me of them send me into a panic attack. I don't really know what to call this. I know I should get a professional opinion, but I lack both funds and the ability to tell someone about what really happened to me. I thought maybe this subreddit would give me at least some clarity or help on that. Thanks! | ptsd |
I have insomnia and most nights I dont go to sleep until like 3am and some nights I cant sleep at all then I finally go to sleep at like 9 or 10 am or even later at like 12pm. Honestly im somewhat afaird of sleep. Im afaird if I do sleep I will go through horrible nightmares of my abusers comimg back and hurting me, then I wake up in a panic and throwing punches and screaming. It sucks.
So I was wondering would sleeping with a stuffed animal and getting a weighted blanket help with this? Also does anyone here have both or either one to help with sleep or just calming themselves down? I take sleeping pills but at times even those don't help because I guess im just so full of anxiety that I cant just calm down somewhat. I think getting a stuffed animal and a weighted blanket can help at least make me feel safe because when I do feel safe I just get insta tired. | ptsd |
Hello! I was wondering if anyone has any reccomendarions for memoirs written by autistic people or novels which feature autistic characters 😊 | aspergers |
I’d like to find someone who might have ever dealt with something similarly, I had a mental breakthrough where I finally felt able to move forward and leave OCD behind me and get this job I had always waited for and to finally be my real self and end up with the girl I loved, and then a trigger that came out of nowhere and was so tragic and unlikely and completely fucked my mind, made the girl I loved and everything else in my life feel contaminated and basically set me back years of association and progress and I don’t really know how to make sense of it and try to move forward. | OCD |
Scratch that, I actually was first put on stuff for ADHD a bit over a year ago.
On and off I’ve had ADHD symptoms for ever, tons of family members with it, pretty clear that it’s an issue — but never got a formal diagnosis until middle of college.
Was put on Strattera. Was horrible, made me feel like I could focus a bit better, but I felt borderline sedated. In addition, I began waking up at 5-6am regardless of bed time, had poor appetite, got horrible dry mouth, constant constipation, horrible excessive sweating and heart rate, increased anxiety and agitation (which I have seen on other SSRI’s as well for bad depressive episodes, which, to my knowledge, can just happen in some people), prostate issues/difficulty urinating/climaxing, and so forth.
Eventually stopped as my general practitioner and I were wondering if was struggling with hypomania? But never saw anybody for a formal diagnosis or evaluation. On 40mg Prozac, 50mg strattera.
Continued through third year in college, now am entering the second half of my fourth year. In June, I started seeing a regular private-practice therapist. I got into a psychiatrist to review/refresh my prescription-set around August, at which point I was prescribed Adderall IR 10mg due to my strong presentation of ADHD-related symptoms.
The first few days were awesome. I felt motivated, I felt this foreign feeling of just being at peace, being able to be in the moment rather than my brain being like an FM radio scanning though every frequency all the time.
Then, I felt the effects gradually just taper off at the end of taking it daily for about a week. I just didn’t really feel any different, besides moderately decreased appetite. However, then I started getting major come-down events at night. It wasn’t like I was ‘craving my next hit’ or anything because it’s not like the meds really make me feel much different. I just would get MOODY at night, and it was horrible.
So we tried Concerta XR 18mg. Didn’t feel much different. A little more motivation for day-to-day tasks I guess, but still had a bit of FM-radio brain which continuously and uncontrollably ‘scans’, but just skips over boring channels (the tasks I actually need to be doing in this metaphor) but latches right onto interesting ones and can focus on THOSE better than before, and can’t stop. 36mg, similar. 54mg. Similar. Except Concerta now, regardless of dosage really, has a come-down as well, but more in the form of my brain just jamming up and not working at all. I’ll just feel totally out-of it.
**[TL;DR]** I feel so alone — surely, im just lazy at this point… I’ve heard of so many people having either a good experience or a bad experience with meds, but never anyone who has a decent experience for a few days then… no experience really? I’ve tried Strattera 25mg—>50mg, Adderall IR 10mg, Concerta XR 18mg—>36mg—>54mg, Ritalin IR 5mg—>10mg, Concerta in the morning and a Ritalin ‘boost’ in the afternoon at different dosages… what gives? It’s been *months*. Perhaps seasonal depression is hitting my motivation, too? | ADHD |
I mean I get short obsessions that last from a few days to at most a month, but they aren't nearly as intense or long lasting as the examples I've seen here, so I wouldn't really call them special interests. Any9ne else like this or similar | aspergers |
And that I’m right here drowning in the pit with you. | depression |
Hey guys! I’m in a bit of a situation. I’ve been off my meds for close to 5 years and I’ve had about enough and I’m trying to take steps to find a way to get meds while not going into extreme poverty. I don’t have any insurance since my parents kicked me off of theirs, and I make just a little too much to qualify for state insurance, as well as the fact that I’m working part time so I don’t qualify to be on my employers insurance. And just to hit the nail on the coffin I’m fuckin broke.
I tried looking at some free clinics but they can’t prescribe any controlled substances, and they can only refer me to mental health facilities that would cost a lot more then I could afford, especially without insurance.
If anybody would have any ideas, I would greatly appreciate it. I’m really really tired of dealing with this unmedicated disaster everyday and I just feel like I’m destroying my whole life without meds and/or the holy planner. | ADHD |
Do you let people walk all over and take advantage of you? Do you have a hard time standing up for yourself? I am this way. It is hard for me to stand my ground when I'm being taken advantage of or being wronged in any way. Part of the reason why I'm like this is because I don't like conflict. I try to avoid it at all costs. I just don't have a mean bone in my body. I don't want to be a jerk, but I wish I could be more assertive and stand up for myself whenever I am being taken advantage of or when somebody else is in the wrong.
I tend to let others get away with things so that I can avoid conflict. I watch videos online and have seen people in public standing up to other people when something wrong is being done to them. They can easily tell another person off and stand up for themselves. I just cannot do that. I wish I could, though. If I wronged another person, he or she would have no problem standing up to me. The problem that I also have is feeling guilty. If I were to tell another person off, I would later feel bad about it because I struggle with feeling guilty a lot.
I once sent nasty messages to this guy who took advantage of me because I ended up giving him $1200. I was upset and angry that he took advantage of me like that so I sent him a bunch of nasty text messages and blocked him. After I sent him the nasty text messages I started feeling bad about it even though I shouldn't have because I was just releasing my anger. That is another reason why I tend to not stand up for myself because I don't want to feel guilty afterwards. | aspergers |
So I am notorious for losing things or forgetting them somewhere. I have worked a lot to combine things in order to be less likely to lose them (iPhone, Apple Wallet, Physical Card Holder on Phone Case), much less likely to leave wallet at home and have to turn around 15 minutes into errands to grab said wallet.
I have been looking at ways to organize my life (I am a listmaker with 25 post-it notes on my desk with 3 failed attempts at a written journal or planner and a marker board with tasks 3 months old) and stumbled upon the bullet journal method. I love the idea of one place to keep everything, like an adult Trapper Keeper. So long story short how do y’all who use bullet journals remember to take them everywhere. I know I need to both write things down but also be sure to find them again. | ADHD |
Does anyone have any advice on how to learn to speak more like people who dont have Asperger ? I have trouble formulating sentences, and get lost in words, sorta like stuttering. Its making finding new friends harder and dating almost impossible, as women tend to think im weird/rude/not intrested in them when that couldnt be farther from the reality. I used to cope this by abusing benzoes when I was younger, and after getting clean out of them all this feels very hard. Does anyone have any advice or personal experience with any of this ? | aspergers |
tw death/trauma/suicide feels.
i fucking cannot stand them. at all. They're banned this year due to how dry stuff is. started last night. i just aint got the heart to be the person raining on some kid's favorite holiday. but good fucking lawd i could not sleep, and watching my bestfriend get blown up on repeat at certain sounds has been... rough. To make it the worst it can be, my hearing is unbelievable. i can hear ppl talking, the fireworks, etc., through ear plugs and over-ear protection 😭😭😭😭😭
can i die yet? I dont want to deal with the 4th or my birthday at all. is all a horrible nightmare.
hope you all are doing okay.
i am not. | ptsd |
I have assembled a list of all the artist I like. I have heard every single album from every single one of these artists. I am quite familiar with all of their discographies, and I would love to talk about any of them with any one of you. They’re in alphabetical order. Not order of favourites. I’ve italicized my 15 absolute favourites.
Adele
AJR
***Arcade Fire***
Atoms for Peace
Avicii
***AWOLNATION***
Bad Books
Billie Eilish
Bon Iver
***Cage the Elephant***
Chris Stapleton
***Coldplay***
Corb Lund
C418
Daft Punk
Eric Church
***Florence + The Machine***
***Foster the People***
***Gorillaz***
Grace VanderWaal
***Grouplove***
Half Alive
Hayley Williams
Hozier
Imagine Dragons
Joji
Lorde
***Manchester Orchestra***
***Metric***
MISSIO
***Mumford & Sons***
***Muse***
M83
Nothing But Thieves
Of Monsters & Men
***Radiohead***
Right Away, Great Captain
Sturgill Simpson
Sylvan Esso
Tame Impala
The Good, The Bad, & The Queen
The Lumineers
The War on Drugs
Thom Yorke
Toby Fox
twenty one pilots
***U2***
Vampire Weekend
Weezer
***Young The Giant***
And these are the artists that I am currently in the process of getting into.
Alabama Shakes
Arctic Monkeys
Beck
Blur
City and Colour
Dear Rogue
Foxes
Fun.
Jack Johnson
My Chemical Romance
Pink Floyd
Royal Blood
Taylor Swift
The Decemberists
The Killers
The Naked & Famous
I just want to talk about music. Say anything that you have to say about any of them. I would love to start a conversation. Talk to me here, PM me, either one. I just get joy and actual energy from talking about music with people. Whether we’re agreeing or arguing. Compliment or judge my tastes. I don’t care. I just want to talk music. I pray that you may humour me. | aspergers |
Humans get perceive their surroundings through receptors which then send those signals to the brain which makes the experience, so when you are thinking about something it is the same as having it. This basically makes some hairless apes Gods, as they can have literally anything at any time effortlessly. Then tell me is it not fair to balance it out, to make them earn this? To make them earn every nice sex thought with incest of your mom/dad or pedophiliac thought, to when they think about something 1000 better then sex make them think about something 1000 worse then the incest/ pedophilic intrusive thought? To make them earn the chemicals they produce in their body from feeling these things as if they'd earn the chemicals from earning these thing in real life with real work with the same work, or at least any work, any number of days spend breaking their limbs of of work on the rituals. To make the most entitled set of atoms pay for GOD'S POWERS!!!!!!!!???????? How in the world could you possibly think anyone in this world deserves to have it all!? And of coarse you don't get a pass on suffering on one thing, if you earned to think about sex life that doesn't mean I want give you to think about video games or food or friends or anything other then the thing you deserved. Saying you deserve to think about video games just cause you did rituals to remove incetous thoughts is like saying you deserve to own a house cause you bought a car one thing each!!! And of coarse you have to renew it!!! can't just say hurrdurr I worked for a few days now I deserve to think about what I want forever, try doing that with your rent and see how fast you get evicted. | OCD |
Hey I'm sorry some shit happened last year around this time and I've been doing a lot better but i'm not sure if it's that it's the same time of year or what, but it's been getting worse again and I feel like I'm kinda falling into a flashback or trauma-related panic attack? idk i'd just really appreciate if someone could talk for a few minutes rn | ptsd |
I’ve taken Vyvanse (40mg) for years now with no problem. Over the past six months, however, I’ve developed a bit of anxiety. My anxiety is exacerbated by stimulants-if I don’t take my vyvanse, I can’t focus enough to get anything done, but if I take my vyvanse, I have about an hour or two of productivity before the anxiety sets in and becomes all consuming. My vyvanse feels less effective because I end up funneling all of my medicated brain power into anxious ruminations. When the anxiety starts, I then obsess over “fully processing” my emotions before moving on, but inevitably that never happens and things only ever spiral from there. Although I know it is common from stimulants to cause or exacerbate anxiety, I’ve been on this medication for years without problem and don’t know what could have provoked this kind of response now.
ADHD friends with co-occurring anxiety: what are your experiences with stimulants? | ADHD |
Please look into self-love it got me though I wish I could be there for all of you. I love you guys stay up. | depression |
I'm so freaking burnt out right now. The past few years have been too intense. I'm struggling hard to find motivation to do anything right now... I'm just paralyzed. There's so many things I need to be doing but I'm just stuck and my depression has come back hard as a result.
This is definitely a thing for us... I've dealt with it for 30+ years. I used to bounce back quicker though. This time just feels so hard.. like I'm getting crushed under a pile of small stones increasing 20 fold each day. Weird analogy but hopefully you get what I'm trying to say.
What do you guys do when you're facing burnout? I really need some ideas to get unstuck! | ADHD |
Just got prescribed focalin and im a runner. I wanted to know that question because i dont want my running to get worse. I know in general drinking and smoking will make ur running bad so i dont do it at all. But will stimulants make your running or lifting bad for the worse? Anyone here a runner? I know people abuse stimulants for performance but im not sure about the theory that it makes you better. | ADHD |
Hi, I'm 23 and I'm from Brazil. I've been dealing with depression since 2013 (I was 15 at the time) and by the beginning of 2015 I sough medical help. I finished high school, got into college and graduated by the end of last year. In all those years I went through a lot of shit because of depression and anxiety. By the beginning of 2020 I was actually felling better, I had a job, I was getting close to finishing college, but covid happened, and with it everything crumbled down again. Fast forward to January 2021. I'm unemployed, I had a huge fight with my parents, they haven't really talked to me ever since (we live in a small apartment). The argument was that they simply ignored that covid was still a thing in a country that soon enough 0.6 million people would die because of it. Besides the anxiety/depression thing I also deal with a kidney dessease, asthma and have lost a lot of weight in the past month even though my habits or routine haven't really changed. Besides that I feel like I have been distancing myself of the few friends that I have, and, well they haven't really talked to me either, they all know what I have been through. And well... I feel lonely, I can't really remember the last time someone said "I love you" or even gave a hug or something. In the past 4 years I started also cutting myself too when this feeling gets too overwhelming. But I feel like I'm getting into a breaking point, my health is decaying, so is my mental health, I'm lonely, unemployed and feeling like I am wasting everyone's time. I'm breaking down in tears while writing this. I am pathetic. Everything is coming down and I don't know how long I will be able to handle it. I really wish that someone that I know would at least care a little bit about me, fuck it, if someone would at least give a hug I would be so fucking happy...
Sorry for wasting your time I just needed to get this off my chest. | depression |
and not only books. I just don’t ever have the patience or motivation to even pick out a movie and watch through it.
I’ve been alone a lot of the time and I feel like I’m not really spending my time on things that can help me grow. I know I can simply resolve my self-doubt and read some books, but I’m almost 24 now and haven’t really ever done that.
Does anyone else ever feel intimidated by knowledge, yet can reason with why reading would be a great thing to do to improve our minds?
Or is this just a strange stoner thought? | aspergers |
so basically, i have this friend and shes the best friend ive ever had, i love her lots and she loves me too but shes not in a very good situation rn, her dad has been molesting her and shes afraid he might rape her (i have encouraged her to call the cops but she refuses too bc shes too scared), shes clinically diagnosed with depression and schizophrenia and cuts herself alot. She is very depressed and is constantly really sad. She vents this stuff to me often and I cant do anything to help her so its making me super depressed.
She also claims if it wasnt for me she would have killed herself months ago, I feel trapped and this is draining my mental health what should I do | depression |
So it’s a bit of an embarrassing one but I’m hoping someone can put my thoughts into perspective, which might help me with ignoring these thoughts. For example, I was pouring out a drink into two separate pint glasses. I noticed that I poured out an equal amount (when inspecting the glasses next to each other) without even trying into both glasses and then I get anxious like ‘how did I manage to do that?’. I’m not sure why this happens, it’s almost like not wanting to feel like I have some special power (I have magical thinking tendencies). Please can someone help with this? I am seeing a therapist and I know it sounds ridicule but I get really anxious. Thanks for any help. | OCD |
I can't fall asleep in the evening but when I do manage to do so I can't wake up. It's gotten so bad that I wake up in intervals, drink coffee and still manage to fall asleep again. It feels hopeless and it's ruining my attendance and school life. I don't know if this is suitable for the depression subreddit but from what I've read it seems like a common symptom.
If anyone has struggled with the same thing I'd love to hear their advice. | depression |
So, a woman who was flirting with me every so often in the workplace got let go for some reason. But, now another woman seems to be flirting some, it bothers me some because I don't want to date a woman on this planet after my experiences. I am afraid to report her because some of my PTSD is related to girls lying to get me in trouble. A couple women have done it in the workplace to. I am afraid if I say something to her or my manager, she will lie to get me in trouble. I am also afraid if I don't reciprocate she might lie to get me in trouble. It is upsetting. | ptsd |
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me ‘’You will feel better’’ or ‘’It’s gonna be alright’’ I would be so rich. | aspergers |
Hello
First off, I sincerely appreciate any and all help. Ok so about three or so weeks ago I sat down and watched a video I'd say traumatized me significantly
The same night I couldn't sleep, I was having just nonstop anxiety attacks and shaking
It seems to have subsided since, but some of the thoughts from what I saw are still my mind no matter how hard I try to get them out. Ill look at some stuff and I get paranoid and bam, back to square one. Its gotten to some points where I'll start my work day late because I'm demotivated to do anything. The regret is the second worst aspect, it's nonstop wanting to turn back the time and not have looked at what I did
This is my possibly first traumatic experience and I don't know how to work with it, should I seek out a trauma therapist or what remedies are there to just get the thoughts out of my head so I can live my life
Thank you | ptsd |
my mom thinks i have ocd. i’m getting assessed by a therapist this week. my symptoms are very bad intrusive thoughts, or like if i don’t touch this certain thing something bad will happen or i’ll have bad luck, i’ll repeatedly check to see if something is closed or locked before i go to bed, i’ll wash my hands and a few minutes later i’ll feel the need to do it again (that can go on for hours), i feel the need to touch something in a certain way, also symmetrical stuff is a big one if something isn’t symmetrical and it needs to be i need to fix it, also certain things make me upset i also have very bad adhd and i don’t know if these things could come from adhd. i’m very unfamiliar with ocd and i don’t know what means what and what is associated with it. the things i listed is just the stuff my mom has noticed me doing. ocd,autism, and adhd also run in my family along with some other things.
let me know what you guys think. thanks | OCD |
I’ve been dx’d previously with ptsd from trauma growing up and into young adulthood and my best friend died in a car wreck a little over a year ago but now I am having a lot of dream like images popping in my head when doing things that could go wrong. Very similar to final destination as lame as that sounds. I could be driving and just picture the car going off the road. Its not limited to the car but that one is like glaringly obvious. Does anyone else experience this? | ptsd |
Hello! Not looking for medical advice. I've been diagnosed with ADHD since I was about 15, however I only recently became medicated at 22. I set up an appointment with my doctor later this week to discuss this and my options, but I was wondering if anyone else experiences extreme tiredness/sleepiness when they don't take their meds?
I take Adderall. I don't take it every day because I don't think I need it every day, only when I'm doing schoolwork or I have a lot to get done. And if I go a day without taking it, I've found the day after I can literally sleep all day. It's hard to get out of bed because I'm so sleepy.
I'm going to ask my doctor if perhaps taking it daily would help, or maybe even trying something else. But I was wondering if this is a common side effect, and if so, if there's anything you found that helped? | ADHD |
I was driving and these days upon entering my street I always stop near the first house and check all my mirrors and look back in case someone is following me, I hit a dog or something you know typical irrational thoughts. And I did it tonight and lmao there was a guy outside and he literally just stared at me. Probably thought I was someone suspicious. I’ll probably be reading about a suspicious little Honda stopping every night and looking at the houses on out neighborhood watch. 😩😩I’m not doing anything, it’s just my OCD!!! | OCD |
I’m not sure if it’s a stim or not but sometimes I just shiver while I’m doing whatever I’m doing. Does anyone else do that? | aspergers |
People here are talking about what it used to be like and how it is now but I only know this. There is no memory of before.
I suffered through some prolonged and severe trauma as a child. I got removed from my family when I was 15 and spent 13 months in a psych facility. I was released to a state group home and turned 18 there and was shoved to the curb on that birthday.
Basically the trauma now is every single person who has ever loved me or I loved heart and soul has abruptly stopped and abandoned me. Parents and two wives. The wives I don’t blame them, it must have been hard being married to an emotional shell of a person. This background is relevant to my current symptoms and questions.
Here’s what happens every single day. I have things I need to do to survive, and I can generally do them. I go to work daily and don’t get fired- I don’t do a very good job but always just enough to avoid detection. I try though but am awful. I have things I need to do after work for me, cook dinner, clean up, wash clothes, whatever. I intend to, and today will be different I swear every day, but every day is the same. I freeze and I shut down. I subconsciously let my vision go unfocused and it’s like I’m gone, I’m in a trance. I don’t feel anything, I’m a shell. I can do things that allow mind numbness such as play video games or watch short videos, usually porn, but nothing beyond that will ever get done.
I’ve been trying to find where my mind goes just before it leaves and where it is when it is gone and I finally think I know. Responsibility triggers a terror and I go through those three times in my life over and over and over again when my dearest loved one suddenly withdrew their love. My mom is blaming me for her mental unhealth and ending our relationship (at 15), my first wife is on the phone with her boyfriend and it suddenly clicks or my second wife is staying out after work every night and finally admits to random encounters every night. I’m there. It hurts so bad I have to be numb. I must be numb now, I’m not sure how I can write this.
Then my mind builds panic and anxiety. If I’m single it tells me I always will be and if I’m seeing someone, all of a sudden I’m convinced she’s cheating and will eventually betray me and I live in that terror. I turn into a detective, virtually stalking and spying and never able to relax around her again, then it ends.
The thing is, everyone I was seeing except one was sleeping around and I found out. It’s like it does protect me from that hurt again so it’s almost a reward for this thinking.
I’m at a loss, my therapist wants to talk about my mom and tell me my fears of being unloved forever or eventually cheated on again are unfounded but they are clearly founded. I don’t understand. My psychiatrist prescribes me anti anxiety medication and says see you in a month. The meds give me this mental shell effect full time, which is what I’m trying to stop doing.
Internet strangers, does anybody know what’s wrong with me? Is this PTSD? What part of that should I emphasize to my mental health professionals? I need help and I don’t know who can help me or what help I need. I’m desperate. I’m so tired of living month to month in a pig sty I can’t make myself clean for the life of me. | ptsd |
Moring All,
Ill keep it short and sweet.
I have PTSD. Im usually on my own planet, i worry about my own things all the time. I do things on my own, i keep to myself.
However im married. Recently i have been all over the place, i walked out on my job (3rd one this year) a couple of days ago, i dont sleep to good, and ive been worried about a heap of my own crap going on at the moment.
I dont feel much at all, im usually shrug everything off. I walk out of my job "Eh", i drop coffee all over my floor "Eh", my wife comes home from a crap day at work "Eh", See the issue.
I dont feel or care about much at the moment. Im just cycling through my own problems and worries all the time and i dont have any emotions or feelings towards anything or anyone else.
I usually draw and paint, go for a drive, go out with my wife. Ive stopped everything Recently, i dont seem to care to much...
Dont know how to change/or fix how im feeling. Wife is at her wits end here. And i have no clue how to sort it out. | ptsd |
my dad just finished talking to me about what is essentially, "i get that you've got this disorder, but we need you to try harder in school." a lot of the points were just not accurate at all and it really bothered me and left me feeling a lil invalidated so i'm just gonna rant a bit.
1. i am trying the hardest i can, i'm just *a little* (sarcasm btw) hindered by my **fucking neurological disability**, that makes doing even the simplest schoolwork a state of constant sysiphus. i can't just "try harder" and magically be on the same level as everyone else. that's on the same level as telling a kid in a wheelchair to just "try harder" to walk.
2. yes, i'm aware my state of burnout coincides with me recieving my diagnosis. no, that is not planned. every year i have this burnout at around the same time. this is not new. it's just worse this year for reasons i don't fucking know. i don't want to have this problem, but i do.
3. apparently my mom gets stressed out by my not doing my work. i will put a disclaimer that i do have empathy for her. i have anxiety so i know that can't be fun. however i don't really like that i'm basically being guilted for having a **fucking neurological disability**. the context of the information was given in a way that was like "just get your work done, for your mom and for yourself." well sorry my fucking disability that hinders my ability to do basic and necessary tasks (which affect me more than they could ever affect you), hinders your ability asleep. i'll just tell the adhd to stop existing.
that's all the points i can remember that ticked me off. it just makes me feel kinda invalidated, and also annoyed because the people that are my parents don't understand what's going on. because of this mentality, i feel like even if i'm legitimately suffering from something due to adhd, i feel like i'm just "using it as an excuse" when in reality i'm just speaking my truth.
it also sucks that adhd doesn't even look like adhd to the uneducated eye. it just looks like "spazzy dood never do work or pay attention or remember things." without experiencing my suffering and having the disorder yourself, you have no way of knowing how it truly feels. it may look like i'm being lazy and choosing not to do my work, but in reality i'm dying to do it. it's eating me up inside. but my conscious and my subconscious disagree and i physically can't start. it's a state of sysiphus constantly.
parents out there who have adhd children, i cannot stretch this enough. DO YOUR RESEARCH. cram the shit out of reliable sources and become an expert on the disorder. ask your child's doctors about it. don't react with anger at the disorder or guilt them because of it. work with the child, help them. respect them. i can't find a good sentence to properly end on but yeah.
also i do love my parents, i just wish they took the time to make sure they knew what they were talking about lol | ADHD |
I want to preface by saying that I don't suffer from depression, so I am unable to personally relate to anything he says. I listen to him and offer all I can, but I'm not a mental health professional nor can I offer anecdotal advice. Even when he does talk to me about it, he's not really wanting me to say anything back necessarily. I think he's just venting.
I just wish he'd do something, *anything* to help himself. He won't see a doctor for a prescription, he won't seek therapy. It's almost like he's happy in his misery.
Is there anything I can do? | depression |
I have been extremely busy this week, and my system is falling apart. I have been forgetting my meds, even after reminding myself to take them. There is to much I need to get done. Filing divorce papers, making sure my ex has copies, taking care of my dog, remembering to eat, get to work on time. I was doing okay and my emotions were stable. Now, I'm 2 maybe 3 day off meds and am finding myself getting angry with everyone and everything. I know it's my fault. I just need this year to be over. I can't handle any more problems. | ADHD |
I won't go into detail about it but provide some details. Obviously want it to stay up but get if it won't.
Or no longer finding thoughts disgusting or even arousing now (perhaps it used to be different or never really was especially when they're looking back at memories when they were teenagers and realized doing inappropriate things)?
Or they don't really feel anxious or distressed, in fact, they may even be aroused by the sexual thoughts. Either way, the thoughts are really intense and frequent especially when person is sleep deprived (inhibitions)?
Also, they don't have noticeable compulsions, outside of some maybe ruminating or rethinking/thinking about thoughts and maybe a level of avoidance.
Lacking anxiety, lack of apparent compulsions. | OCD |
Hi there, ADHD-combined type with mild social phobia. (34)
It took me ages to finish my bachelor's and master's in maths. Then I kinda stumbled into teaching maths in secondary education, but after a year I quit because I was completely overwhelmed.
Now, I decided to start a master's in psychology in January. I feel like this is the right choice and I know what I want to do with it and I feel very motivated, but anxious and overwhelmed at the same time.
For obvious reasons:
I'm fucking 34, not working full-times means less money, house&dog are even more out of grasp now, paying back my student loan, paying less for my pension, how will the be different than last time? , still not having a stable job, money, money,... | ADHD |
Hi all! I thought I’d post this here because I can’t really think of anywhere else to put it.
Ever since I moved houses I’ve developed this thing for water - on my hands specifically. I try to avoid washing them (I have clean hands don’t worry haha) because I hate the feeling of having wet hands. If I do have to wet them like if I’m doing the dishes or washing fruit, I RUN for a tea towel or something to dry them. At work (I work in a deli) I cannot touch wet stuff without gloves on. This goes for wet cloths, wiping something up etc etc.
I obviously don’t want to self diagnose but I am curious if anyone experiences something similar. I’m fine having showers and stuff but I notice I dry my hands before drying the rest of my body. If anyone has any comments, feel free! | OCD |
My OCD used to dominate my waking hours. Then I discovered a talk from Tim Ferriss that changed everything. This isn’t medical advice, but these are the tools and concepts I’ve been using to live a non-compulsive life for the last few years. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7Foam6oKPI&t=1s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7Foam6oKPI&t=1s)
For the uninitiated: OCD makes you irrational. You believe your actions or inactions are going to cause terrible events in the world. - Not checking the oven will burn the house down in your sleep. - Not checking a door's lock means everyone you love will be beaten and raped.
**Morning pages**
\- "Three pages of longhand, stream of consciousness writing, done first thing in the morning.”
\- No rules. Whatever comes to mind, just write it down. It’s not for publication, you never have to reread it and you can throw them away each day.
Morning pages are your chance to let the crazy out. To turn down the never-ending chatter. It gives every worry and anxiety - founded or unfounded - it’s moment and lets you go on with the day.
**Stoicism**
\- The philosophy of focusing on what you can control and accepting the rest.
\- OCD is trying to control the uncontrollable. Stoicism is the anecdote.
\- You can't control what happens, but you can always control your response.
**A truth I had to accept:**
\- You’re not one more compulsion away from freedom. It never quits. The more you feed it, the more it grows.
\- OCD makes you think that you can control the world. If I just do this or that, I’ll get some relief from the anxiety.
**Memento Mori - Remember you will die.**
\- “It is not death that a man should fear, but rather he should fear never beginning to live.” - Marcus Aurelius
\- You're going to die, so don’t let OCD stop you from ever living.
**Amor Fati - A love of fate.**
\- "My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary…but love it." - Nietzsche
The OC lean on compulsions to try and alleviate the anxiety of an uncontrollable world. Amor Fati is knowing that no matter what happens, we're going to use it as fuel and keep living. It's learning to love and accept an unpredictable world.
**Move your body.**
\- I prefer CrossFit and running. When I need a break, I walk and stretch.
\- There’s something therapeutic for the mind that comes from pushing your body to the edge.
\- Life is better when you're fit.
**Meditation**
\- Mediation is a practice. The more you practice, the quicker you’ll notice your mind trying to control the uncontrollable.
\- You'll learn to let the irrational thoughts go and come back to what you can control in the present moment.
I do a form of open monitoring meditation. Might be something different for you.
“The mind is an excellent servant, but a terrible master.”
For the obsessive compulsive, this terrible master rules their lives. Even when it’s gone, it lurks in the shadows ready to suffocate any bit of joy.
Caging the monkey mind is a fight worth fighting.
**This thread is an attempt to share years of work in a few tweets.**
If this has been helpful to you, let me know. If you want more tools or insights I have a newsletter about mental fitness: [https://johnbates.substack.com](https://johnbates.substack.com) | OCD |
Everytime I try to think sexualy about women it then switches to a guy or little girl its annoying and makes me feel like shit. How can I stop this? | OCD |
Recently, I got diagnosed with ADHD. Today, I started taking adderall for the first time. About thirty minutes after taking it, I began to feel extremely tired and immediently fell asleep. I was so tired that I still had on my day clothes and didn't even bother to turn off my light. When I woke up two hours later, I had difficulting getting out of bed, and I just wanted to fall back asleep. Has anybody else experienced this? | ADHD |
I don't even have the energy for anything anymore. I've had nightmares consistently since I was young. 11, if I had to guess when it hit the point where it's worth mentioning. I've had numerous traumas in my life. I was bullied. My dad is emotionally abusive, but not in the way you'd think, he has problems of his own, he doesn't mean it. I suffered through my house being destroyed by Hurricane Sandy. I may have been sexually abused from ages 3-7 but I don't remember enough to say it's true. And I've been to the psych ward. My most recent stay was 7 months long. I was discharged January 18th, 2019.
Every night I have nightmares about the hospital. That I'm there again. I feel so guilty being out. I feel so much pain in remembering their faces. I feel so much pain in remembering my own. I can't look at simple, every day things, without remembering the stay. I saw things no one should. People choking themselves. Arms bloodied. Sometimes others, sometimes my own. Choking myself. Trying to figure out how to die. Crying in the shower. Slamming my fists against the walls and furniture. The banging of the doors. The alarms. The restraints. One girl tried to slit her throat. The staff were horrendous. Some were downright neglectful. Others were dismissive, rude, and harmful emotionally. I was told to get over it during meltdowns, since I'm a "big girl." So much happened. You're watched every single second. You're monitored. You're caged in. You're locked in. Several doors, several rooms, several walls, all concrete blocks.
And the nightmares never stop. Every night I'm back there in one way or another. Some nights it's about seeing them all again, embracing them, wanting to see them again, because I had a lot of emotionally responsibility dumped on me being not only better than the staff but the oldest patient on the ward. Other nights I'm screaming, crying, on replay of my own suffering. Other nights I dream that it has followed me to college. I see the staff there, I see the patients, and I hear the code alarms.
And it never stops. I'm scared to sleep. I just want to dream. Once. Just once. | ptsd |
I know I’m just stating the obvious here but many people often never overcome the obstacles in their lives. It’s insulting that the only response a person has for me anymore is to “hold on” or “just wait, things will get better”. We’ve all heard it, some times it’s true and if it’s true for you I’m so happy it’s gotten better. But can we take a second to acknowledge the fact that this is straight up bull shit for many others? This is straight up bull shit. Year after year things are worse for me even though I’ve been actively trying to be better. I shouldn’t have to try this hard. I shouldn’t have to hold on for years without any sign of significant change. It should not be this difficult to find peace of mind and a happy life worth living. It is not supposed to be this hard. Years ago I was told that if I just wait and see what’s around the corner, I’ll be glad I stuck around. How insulting, to guilt me into years more suffering on this earth. I tried all the things you’re supposed to do to learn to manage this problem. Both conventional and unconventional. It didn’t work. I want to kill myself. Stop feeding people cliche lines to console them. It’s insulting. If you have nothing of substance to offer a person when they tell you they want to die, have some fucking respect and just say nothing at all. | depression |
I’ve been experiencing symptoms more and more over the past year and a half and some things that have just been a part of my life I’ve recently identified as symptoms and every time I bring it up my mom never believes me and always dismisses it even though she’s not a trained professional. But I’ve been describing symptoms like caffeine calming me down and making me hella tired to her nonchalantly and I think she is starting to believe me. Anyways wish me luck in hoping for her to get me tested. | ADHD |
I have the urge to write down pretty much anything that gives me any sort of emotional response. Things I want to or have done, things people have said to me or I have said to them, any intrusive thoughts or feelings I had about anyone. Dreams, goals, fears, likes and interests, I even write down what I'm talking to myself about. I write to myself...
I tried to sort out my hundreds of pages of thoughts to actually pull out the few useful things I had like actual goals, ideas, and current chores im working on, but after spending a few hours sorting through it all Im starting to realize how FUCKED I really am here.
The notes are garbage. There's is nothing worth value there. Its so weird because in the moment I can't bring myself to not write, but going back a few days later I don't think twice as I scroll past them.
Still, even with this in mind I can't bring myself to not write more thoughts out. In the moment, it feels like every thought is precious and will become useful in the future. Obviously thats not the case as I scroll past them and don't feel a hint of necessity in them. But I just can't do anything about it.
I can't sort them out because that will take hours or going through literal junk just to find like 2 chores I missed. But I also can't not write that shit dump... | OCD |
Hey everyone! It’s been quite the agonizing experience finding a therapist here in the Boston area who isn’t: A. Hardcore old school “suck it up”, or B. So privileged that their advice is completely useless.
I found someone new who specializes in EMDR and it’s something I’ve wanted to do for years, and I’m hopeful for the first time in a while. The only thing that’s really worrying me is that in my phone consultation with him, he was distracted at first, uncharismatic, and just kind of unstructured? I guess I should be relieved because I’m hoping for someone who isn’t so robotic and rehearsed, but I’m just worried he might be hard to follow and unorganized. I don’t know, maybe I’m overthinking it.
Has anyone had an experience where the initial phone consultation was subpar but the therapy experience turned out great? | ptsd |
So when I first started my job I was inexperienced, anxious, trying to prove my worth, and consistently overextended myself. That was about 2 years ago. Nowadays I'm on the verge of burnout or I'm already there. An expectation has been set for my response time to issues that I need to get rid of. I work in IT. But people are creatures of habit, when I change that it's gonna cause waves. It's not that I'm doing less work, it's that I'm transitioning to a work pace that is actually sustainable and won't kill me.
I had a bit of a mental breakdown over the weekend realizing that my job eats away at so much of my energy because I don't do enough to take care of my own needs. The constant interruptions I face from people either walking into my office, messaging me directly, or calling me is driving me insane. Of course my impulsive ass reads the message on teams, that little stupid eyeball shows up saying it's read, then the person expects a response because I saw it.
So has anyone done a complete 180 with setting boundaries in their job and prioritizing their own needs without it blowing up in their face? Before I leave the company I really want to try making it work for me setting my own boundaries and not being a people pleaser. I need to learn that anyway otherwise I'll be in the same boat in a different job.
I'm really horrible at this. I just want to live my life and not have it feel like some parasitic entity is sucking away my energy 5 days a week. After taking a long hard look at the way my life has been this past year I'm not even really living I'm just surviving.
TL;DR Lifelong people pleaser ruining my own life because of a job. Need to figure out how to prioritize my own needs. Job is taking advantage of me but it's my own fault because I set up expectations I have to revise. | ADHD |
I would like to privately speak to someone who also has this, to understand a bit better. Anyone minds to speak privately about this with me?
Thank you for your attention | OCD |
I can’t start doing any new habits or get things done because all I think about is all the other things I need to/should be doing. When I’m driving to run an errand the only thing I’m thinking about is the next place I am going to go after, and what errands I need to do next. So Instead I just tend to get high and sleep or occupy myself with video games. | ADHD |
So I’ve been having POCD and I felt better and it was barely there but it’s back. I’ve had multiple crushes on grown women and love the features of grown women. I never second guessed that until POCD hit. How I’m getting intrusive images of underage girls. I feel a since of attraction and when that happens I sometimes feel a sharp pain go through me and for a split second feel like vomiting because of the stress. I know if I truly liked it I wouldn’t be anxious and would’ve known before POCD but why do I feel a sort of attraction? I’m worried. Could I have not noticed I was attracted until POCD or would I have known before? I knew I had a fetish at like 13 so I feel like I would’ve known before I was 17 | OCD |
Hello everyone. I’ve been doing well for a few weeks but the past week has been like being in Hell for me.
It all started at a friend’s wedding—I had the facade of someone who is charming and sociable, but inside I felt like screaming. People almost never talk about how trauma makes you grow up fast; mature at a faster pace than others. You learn how to read people better, to see behind the mask people put up every day.It seems to me that the things that bring most people my age joy or fulfillment or are fun for them fill me with loneliness and isolation. Take for example when a large group of girls I knew all got up when a song from a Disney channel movie came on—they danced and clapped and sang with the music...except for me. I sat on the sidelines, drink in my hand, feeling like the whole display was grotesque and shallow and hating myself for feeling so judgmental. The truth is I wish I could laugh easily like that—to just let go and feel free and not always on edge, or isolated, or on the outside. I wish I couldn’t feel things so deeply sometimes or feel alone in a room full of people I know. I wish I could act my age and not like someone who saw and lived through too much at such a young age. I wish my eyes weren’t so sad and empty. I wish I didn’t feel like everyone speaks a different language than I do. I don’t like complaining, truly, because I know there’s a lot of people on this thread who have been through so much worse. I just...is there anyone who can relate to this feeling or give advice on how to get through this isolated, lonely feeling?
*I am in therapy and medicated. | ptsd |
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