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I started having OCD when I was started high school, so about age 13 and at this time I also developed social anxiety. I questioned everything. One huge thing was how I laughed, how I thought about what to say, and how it was actually coming out of my mouth. I didn’t know how to laugh after that. I think I have dissociative disorder because I depersonalize for large periods throughout the day, and because of how deeply I questioned everything in my life/my philosophical crisi. There are hundreds of other things my OCD has made challenging in my life, but I wanted to see if anyone related to the laughing matter. Recently I was diagnosed with very severe OCD and severe social anxiety. Do any of you experience SAD alongside OCD? How has your experience been? | OCD |
I'm seeing a lot of post of people being down and out.
I hope that you all have a great day and night.
I also hope it gets better for you.
Happy Holidays. | aspergers |
So what things would it help (or mean everything) to hear from a friend, support provider, etc? But - if this makes sense - the REAL things, not "it will all be ok" or "it's not your fault"?
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Or if you don't know that, what makes it worse, what do you NOT want to hear? | ptsd |
I’m having what I think is a false memory but it feels too real I can’t tell. It’s causing a lot of anxiety | OCD |
I just wanna see what everyone's special interests are and if you got more than joy out of it, like if it helped you make friends, got a job or created some useful skills. if you just get happiness out of it, that's fine! it's great to have something that makes you happy. but let me know, i'm interested in what other aspies' interests are!
My biggest special interest is jurassic park (and dinosaurs, but mostly jurassic park) i love all of it so much (not the new movies) and i NEED to know every last bit of information about it. i'm not addicted to anything, but if a were, it would be jurassic park knowledge.
I'm also deeply interested in the video games i play, and wanna understand everything about it.
These interests haven't really been very useful outside of make me happy, other than i developed an interest for music and learned to compose (somewhat) | aspergers |
Everytime I’m ruminating how would my life be without ocd, and I feel sad how do I manage this? | OCD |
I’ve moved around a lot in my life. I’m originally from Florida but my dad had changed jobs multiple times due to economic crashes, company buyouts and what not. We’ve lived in four states so far and in each place I have lived in I’ve never made any concrete friends that stool around long enough. The only real ones I’ve made live halfway across the country and sometimes it’s hard to get in contact with them because they’re at different stages in their life (jobs, relationships, general life problems). I got a girlfriend in the current state I live in, which I love with all my heart, but she works a lot and I’m in school. So it’s hard to even talk to her and even meet up with her. I’m Latino so my family falls under the stereotype of toxicity and often fighting a lot (I’ve had a fight with my brother recently that got physical.) It’s loud, I’m constantly under watch and supervision, and it feels very suffocating sometimes. I don’t talk to a lot of people because it feels like no one really listens, so I struggle with loneliness a lot. And it feels like every time I try to reach out to someone I get the feeling I’m being ignored. I called a depression hotline after the fight with my brother, sobbing my eyes out, just trying to talk to anyone. But often on the call it just felt like I was hearing this resounding gong of phrases that I hear all the time like “keep yourself busy” and “don’t let it get to your head”. And I’ve tried that but it always ends up at square one. I go out to be productive and have fun but I always have to return to the same house and the same bedroom and the same pillow to cry into. I’ve tried exercising, reading, learning an instrument, art, collecting things, but it all comes back to the same place. My head is foggy, I lack motivation, and the worst part is that I feel so ALONE. So yeah, it’s gotten pretty hard lately. And I don’t how to handle it. | depression |
My life is a mess, I'm unemployed, my girlfriend and I broke up, I never start anything because I always get distracted by stupid things or I just don't get out of bed, and I feel incredibly stupid because I'm crying like a baby when other people are going through a thousand worse things.
For a few months I have been trying to be better and i really felt better, but all this is happening and getting into the dark makes me feel comfortable, I feel that I belong there, I feel that I do not deserve to be seen as a good person and that makes me feel "good" for some reason, but I am afraid, because the last time I had a depressive episode I started to hurt myself physically, I had never done it before.
but anyway, if someone came this far I appreciate it.
P.s: sorry for my bad writing, english is not my first language | depression |
Sometimes I think about strangling animals and I hate the thought because I love animals. Does anyone else have this type of intrusive thought too? | OCD |
Whenever I eat I'm constantly scared that I'm going to choke, and that I'll either be alone when I do or whoever is in the room with me won't be able to do the heimlich. I tend to breath through my mouth while I eat too to make sure I'm still breathing or getting enough air. Anybody else do this? | OCD |
I am not looking for a diagnosis, but I'm looking for an opinion. I've always wondered if I was mildly I OCD or something similar.
For example, sometimes, I get paranoid about texting friends or family because I'm worried they will be driving and my text will cause them to wreck...
Also, I worry that if I skip my workout routine, I'm gonna get fat and out of shape.
Online dating can get really bad for me... I'll get to the point where if I don't check my phone constantly, that I'll miss an opportunity and be alone forever.
Then I'll get really pessimistic as a safety precaution and any optimistic thought I have, I will crush because I fear being optimistic will lead to more pain.
Finally, I get really paranoid that I'll see someone out and about and they will think I'm stalking them or something.. I felt that way as far back as when I was 9 years old!
Lastly, I get very paranoid that I'll blurt out something offensive out of nowhere for no reason.
This stuff comes in waves...can't tell if I'm just anxious, ocd or what.
Please don't say, "go see your doctor!" I'm just curious to know if OCD is a possibility | OCD |
Declan M19. When texting, I always seem to copy how the other person texted. For example, I never usually sign my name after a text but it the other person does, I will. Was wondering if anyone else is the same and knows why I/we do it.
My guess is something to do with anxiety or imposter syndrome.
Thanks in advance for any response. | ADHD |
I really do need some advice...
Hey guys I'm gonna fill this post with unnecessary words because apparently I can't post a post with less than 300 words !
My son is 9 and diagnosed combined type adhd.
He is medicated and it's the best thing I ever did ...
He takes 20mg of medikinet spaced out over the day .. and then 2mg of melatonin every night.
I've noticed that his facial and vocal tics are increasing quite a bit...
Is this normal ?
(The medikinet is not a cure all btw ... I get massive amounts of aggression during the time he isn't medicated and we are struggling massively with his emotional regulation) | ADHD |
It's kinda painful to see what causes me so much heartache used in comic relief. I've mostly seen this with emotional and physical abuse. For example, i remember seeing good luck Charlie as a kid and seeing how neglected Gabe was. He was the 3rd out of 5 siblings, but the parents treat the other 4 kids with more love and attention than him. Causing him to act out and be a delinquent. (And Disney loves to copy this dynamic into other shows)
A more recent example I've seen is in my favorite game Persona 5 the Royal, the character Ryuji had already been physically abused by his dad and coach, then his friends casually called him "stupid" and beat up on him. There's even a controversial scene in the original Persona 5 where Ryuji is implied to get assaulted by two stereotypical gay men. And this isn't the first example of a character abused for comedy in the history of Atlus games.
As a domestic violence victim who's abuse was treated as comedy or punishment in real life, it brings me back to a time where my pain was used as a punchline. My abuser and his friend thought it was funny when I got upset in response to abuse. Im not trying to be some tumblrina complaining, im trying to explain that abuse isnt funny and shouldn't be treated as such. | ptsd |
I’m on adderall but because you can only get it with a prescription I have to make a doctors appointment each month to get a new one instead of getting refills. As common with the adhd brain I tend to forget and my doctor would always be booked up and I go long periods without medication. Does anyone have any alternatives that they think works as good as meds from experience? | ADHD |
I booked an initial appointment with a psychologist to get evaluated for depression/anxiety. The first appointment is the intake, I understand and the next appointment will be diagnostic. My initial appointment is on December 18. My question to this sub is what do you do in the meantime while you wait for the appointment? I feel like rough now and I'm worried that when I see them I might be better. But that might be a good thing? Not sure.
Thank you. | depression |
I'm stressing over the pandemic, and I feel like its spilling over into my other symptoms. I've been in therapy for 2 years and made a lot of progress. But I'm having significantly worse nightmares and flashbacks and having an intense fear of the men around me that I haven't had in almost a year now. Is anyone else experiencing this? | ptsd |
Recently I have been having more and more thoughts about if I am depressed, and I need some help with what I should do. For most of my life I have suffered with bullying, due to my ADHD, people find me either too much to be around, or an easy target because I bite when It comes to insults. I'm 20 now and still find this to be exactly the same, even in my job. My personality has changed where I feel lifeless, I care less and less about my health and more of how to distance myself from everything and everyone, I spend time wanting to cry but just never feeling able to, I find it hard to even smile at things I used to enjoy so so much. Most of the time I sit and think about just wanting a hug. No one around me seems to understand me, and I'm unsure of what to do with myself. | depression |
I am/was quite antisocial, remorseless and narcissistic. I somewhat have empathy in some way since I cried out of sadness for the death of beloved people and even at emotional scenes in tv. Nevertheless I did also horrible things what certain people would consider unethical and I after learning about stoicism became aware that this selfish and weak however if I truly am a psycho my brain would be just wired differently but I really can have anxiety and seem to have severe ocd symptoms. No reassurance but can this be possible since I thought these people would be unable to experience anxiety and doubt? | OCD |
I’ve been doing really well with my ocd and handling it fairly well, all things considered. First off, I don’t want to insult anyone with my possible ignorance. So here goes, I have had terrible ocd about becoming schizophrenic for a long time. I’ve got a handle on that pretty much as good as it’s gonna get..So what’s the problem? You’re probably asking. Basically, I have some days where my anxiety and depression are absolutely horrible, like paralyzing. And then I’ll wake up one day and I feel great, and all is good until I realize I’m feeling great. And I’m like wtf? Why do I feel so good today? No anxiety, I’m actually happy and everything’s good. I feel pretty normal. Then I start to think to myself why do I feel normal when I literally haven’t changed a thing. And then the anxiety comes right back because I’m worried as to why I’m happy. I feel good one day or maybe even for a few days or weeks at a time and then I wake up and bam, I’m right back in the gutter. I’m horrible at explaining things, so I hope you guys understand what I’m trying to get across. Because I can’t even enjoy being happy because the obsessive thoughts about being manic or bipolar set in and it’s very hard to escape from. It’s almost like I feel more at home when I’m anxious and depressed and I can’t even enjoy being happy because I’m worried about being manic or having bipolar and that’s what’s causing these mood swings. Does anyone else suffer from ocd about being bipolar? Does it sound similar to this? I am not asking if I’m bipolar or anything, just if anyone suffers from the same obsessive/intrusive thoughts. | OCD |
I don't know if my pre-trauma self is still with me. will it recover over time, will it come out? Or will a post-traumatic self with a different character remain a true self? i hope you get what i mean | ptsd |
KING LOT YOU MOTHER FUCKER! “ I chuckled at her asked if she was serious, told her to get her meth. I could tell she wanted to spit on me but didn’t. I have to drive from NS to Ont tonight so I need to be focused. And tbh I think it was because of my Ontario license plate that made her go off. (Kinda like a NY plate in Texas?) But naturally this event is looping in my head about what I could have done better. | aspergers |
Everything from Religion, Politics, to ESPECIALLY Entertainment like Anime and Cartoons.
I have these extremely unpopular opinions that I'm way too terrified to share aloud, because anytime I try and share them aloud, I'm insulted, yelled at, and hurt by my peers for having such radically unpopular opinions.
Everytime I think about them or see others talk about them, especially ones involving popular TV Shows and Anime. I get extremely self conscious and miserable because I absolutely despise the things they're talking about, but I can't tell them my opinions on it because I know as soon as I do, they'll hurt me and yell at me.
There's absolutely NO place I can go to to share my horrible opinions on the entire internet because everywhere I go, people just hurt me...
And now it's like I can never escape these stupid shows, games or Anime. They're too popular, and they anger me. And then I start to cry and feel ashamed of myself for hating them.
Where can I go to feel less alone? Why is there nobody on the entire internet who's willing to be nice to me and listen to my opinions? Why does everybody viciously attack me because I have the wrong opinions?
It really does feel like my opinions are completely wrong and it's all my fault... I'm so different and alone, it hurts me... And nobody will listen to me... I hate my wrong, ass backwards and broken opinions on everything... | depression |
I assume this has been said plenty of times on here but I've been struggling lately and I just need to talk with people who understand what it's like to go through this. For as long as I can remember it's always been one or the other. Either I A) Take medication and perform well both academically and at my job, with the side effects of being emotionally absent and lacking of my normal personality, or B) Not taking medication and being able to express my full range of emotions (although sometimes exaggerated) and feeling fulling engaged with my peers, but at the cost of everything I need to accomplish being extremely hard. It's not even that it's hard to focus all the time... I just. I don't know it's just harder. I can't contextualize it.
I am in my sophomore year of college. Technically still a freshman, and I should actually be a junior but that's a story for another time. I'm just tired. So so tired. I know this is common among a lot of college students, complaining about workloads and how draining classes can be. But I have half the workload as them and I can barely keep up. I haven't taken Adderall since 2016, and my grades have shown it. I feel like it's time I go back to the doctors and re-activate my prescription, but at the same time I don't want to feel like a robot again.
Sorry if I'm breaking rules I just want to let out what I'm feeling. Thanks y'all. | ADHD |
I only recently found out about my ADHD.
Since then i made COUNTLESS schedules, to do lists, tried countless different times saying and reinforcing stuff like : "thats it, i don't care, from today onwards at least half of hours a day ill do x"
And always, always it failed. One week later, 2 or 1 month maybe. I did it a couple of times but there always came the day when my brain didn't give me enough dopamine to even cook food, what about work on my passions.
So i procrastinated in fear, broke my streak, dissapointed myself that this happened once again and my confidence sank, thinking always something was wrong with me and im just lazy and undisciplined.
Fast forward now i know that my brain just works differently, but knowing that .. how can I stop the above cycle from repeating itself? How can i get any work done not just play games 12 hour a day because its the activity that gives more dopamine so i default to it?
Especially with my two examples - gym and drawing.
Even if i understand and forgive myself that some days i might not be able to do those things, study or go to the gym, those are tasks that require CONTINUOS LONG TERM effort and commitment before any kind of results are shown.
So me going only 1 or twice a week, or drawing only couple hours in a week will almost not get me any closer to my end goal or results. At which point my brain just realizes and decides why struggle at all.
Even when i feel well enough to do something, why should i struggle? If you don't stick to a gym routine/ study schedule (insert x/y project here, please dont go into tangents about the ones i chose.) You won't see proper results or any results at all. My brain cant help but to get discouraged and give up.
Its either do it properly, make a schedule and eating regime/ draw this amount her day etc or nothing at all.
And i cant do any of those. The first one because at some point there will be some days/ weeks where i just CAN'T do it because of my brain.
But i can't give up on my passions either and do nothing but binge on dopamine and brainless activities for the rest of my life and go nowhere.
So, please tell me, how can i WORK. how do you WORK?.
( P.S unmedicated, waiting list)
Edit: This is not a banal productivity tips kind of request. No banal "close down reddit and Facebook" tips that work for neurotypicals. Something more akin of mental tricks through trials and tribulations of how to motivate an adhd dopamine-less brain. | ADHD |
i have done research in autism but not that much on asperger and what i found digging deeper in the asperger syndrom is the one of the main difference is that someone with asper is more sociable or likes to socialize but doesn't know how mean while someone with autism isnt sociable and doesn't want or enjoys socializeing (or at least how i compreheand it) but every other page i see tend to compaired both so that leaves me unsure to where the line starts | aspergers |
Every time I get into a depressive episode, my will to make food just goes down the drain. I usually just make pasta with pre-made sauce, but I don’t think it’s very nutritious on it’s own, and lately I’ve been kind of sick of it.
Do you have any tips or recipes that could be easy to make or preserve/have around for pre-heating?
Thanks! | depression |
So today I went out and I feel really bad because I have a boyfriend but I look around at everyone like boys and all sorts I just look around me. It doesn’t bother me if there is boys because I’m not interested thats the thing. I feel like I’m just a cheat or a bad person. I’m only 17 and I’d never want anyone else but my boyfriend. But I like looked around to see whose about like any boys and I don’t understand it. I realise I do it so it’s like I have to do it. And then I panic as I think I have felt something down there 👇 but it’s like if something random happens down there I panic even tho I only saw someone for a split second and I’m not even bloody interested
Please someone help me am I a bad person? Someone help me please | OCD |
I’ve been taking Adderall since about the start of 2021, though instead of daily I take it as needed and will go several days/weeks/months without using it to save up for big homework and projects. (Part of this is because I’ve put off finding a prescriber for so long so I save up) I’ve always been pretty diligent since childhood about getting regular assignments done, and I’m sure that’s why it’s taken so long for me to get my diagnosis, because I can generally power through at the very very last minute and slap something down. My dad and brother have very stereotypical ADHD traits and I suspect I inherited it from them.
Anyways, everything I’m seeing online says that if you have ADD and take adderall, you won’t become more hyperactive but instead have your mood stabilize. But in my experience I just end up feeling more intense and more fidgety from the whole thing. (My theory is that, because I have anxiety, I’m wondering if there is a placebo effect hyping up the rare moments I do take the medication. I can’t tell exactly *when* Adderall wears off, but I know that it’s for a limited amount of time, which makes me more anxious to get things done)
I’m currently on 10mg, which is not enough to make me want to get up and do things unprompted — I think it’s best if I’m working when I take it, which I never want to do, so I always put off taking my ADD medication, ironically.
I’m pretty sure my new prescriber is skeptical because I’ve told her about the jitteriness. But the thing is, the medication actually helps with doing things I’d put off otherwise. So much of my behavior makes sense when you ascribe it to adult ADD. I just don’t know why I’m having that reaction. | ADHD |
Y'all. We had a lady at my office test positive for COVID today. We cleaned the shit out of the office, took out the trash, etc. I even threw away the toilet paper rolls and put out new ones. But all of the cleaning started setting off my irrational fears about chemicals getting mixed. *Sigh* My brain is on 🔥.
Anybody else have weird anxiety about chemicals? How are you guys handling COVID? I started buying only bleach products at home, but work is a different beast. 🙄 I'm thinking about keeping an outfit and bag in the car to switch out my clothes somehow before I get home. | OCD |
Has anyone had a different experience when they’ve taken the same med?
I was on Straterra in June, and was sleepy and irritable enough to not keep going. I only took it for 2 weeks, 10mg the first, 20mg the second.
After an unsuccessful run with so many other meds I decided to try Straterra again. But I’m having a different experience?
My diet hasn’t changed, my activity hasn’t changed, I’m at a loss?
I have gone a lot slower though. I took 10mg for 2 weeks, and have now been on 20mg for 2 days. I have not encountered any of the side effects I had during my first run. One of which actually improved my tendency to resist skin picking, but I’m neutral now (no increase or decrease).
Anyone relate? Even to other meds? | ADHD |
Hi all.
I was wondering how any of you with ptsd have dealt with dating ? When did you let the potential partner know about your ptsd? I can hide it in casual meetings but I’d like to obviously let a potential partner know about it as it’s obviously a part of my life. I’m not ashamed of it I am dealing with it through medication and therapy. I just feel like maybe I should discuss parts of my mental health when I’m comfortable with someone. What would a general view of you guys that have dated be ? Maybe once things get physical it might be an idea to tell them ?
Appreciate all answers thanks | ptsd |
We been together for 4 years. I’m currently unemployed and in a hole and need help. I been diagnosed for 10 years and I’m 25, my adhd is so bad that my doctor told me I have the most severe case of adhd she’s seen and she’s been a doctor for 23 yrs.. Also no, I don’t do meds because I get tired and I don’t feel like myself.. I explained this all to her but she keeps writing off my depression (lack of motivation) as laziness. But Its so hard for me to find that motivation.. Any advice is greatly appreciated😔❤️
Also.. this app or community has really helped me stay alive, literally. I feel just so helpless sometimes but when I come here to read some of the stuff it makes me feel like I’m not alone. If you guys can do it then I can to.
Edit: thank you everyone for giving me the view that I understand. I always thought people didn’t care or wanna stand by me, you guys all made me realize YOU live YOUR life. People can only do so much as they have there own struggles. No one likes to help people who don’t wanna help themselves and that hits. Thank you peoples, y’all gave me the motivation to try medication again and tbh I feel hopeful and I won’t let this light you guys lit die. I’m already looking to schedule my appointment. Thank you, you guys are all blessings ❤️❤️ | ADHD |
I am a victim of rape and have used LSD a substance to heal from my trauma, I have gone from having major depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts to having no depression and no suicidal thoughts. However some anxiety is still there. I was wondering if anyone that has been through the same trauma, has experienced psychotherapy? what are your experiences, and what are the results of it? did it benefit you or make it worse? | ptsd |
before sharing a picture for example, i have to ask all my friends if it look good, and when i share it, i keep checking it repeatedly to see if it really look good, i keep asking reassurance about my physical attractiveness by sharing pictures and see how many likes they would get just to know if i am attractive, i keep analyzing my face, hair, clothes, body in the mirror for a long time to see if they look good , i am obsesssssed with comparing myself to others, their eyes, lips, hair, body to see if i look like them, maybe this is more than OCD | OCD |
I feel very few strong emotions, and the only emotions I do feel strongly are things like anger and boredom that are just completely pointless and horrible to me. TV, movies, books, and music don't have any effect on me other than giving me something to do when I'm bored. I don't find many things funny. I don't form strong bonds with most people. I barely care when someone I really did love dies except like the exact day it happened. I can't ever cry over anything. I don't really feel empathy except in specific circumstances. I don't have any motivation to do anything even if it's something I enjoy doing. Is there anything I can do about this, is this aspergers, ADHD, or am I a sociopath? I can't live like this my whole life. I don't care about anyone or anything. It's such a waste, I really want something better. | aspergers |
i just found out i have ocd (currently trying to get a diagnosis), mainly deal with relationship ocd and i have reassurance compulsions.
im wondering how i can help myself or request others to help me without feeding my reassurance compulsion? ive based my support on reassurance for years without realizing i was building a compulsion, and im unsure of any other coping skill.
anyone have reassurance compulsions and found a method that works? thanks! | OCD |
I've been biting the skin off my fingers since around sixth or seventh grade, I'm in college now. I know it's terrible but it's so hard to stop. It often gets so bad that I go really deep and my fingers bleed and often hurt. I should have told my occupational therapist about this when I was getting therapy but I was too embarrassed to say anything. I want to stop but it's been really hard. I've gotten so used to doing it, and I've not had as much success as I'd like in curbing this issue. Has anyone had this issue? Does anyone have some advice on this? If so I'd be grateful. | OCD |
Hey guys,
I finally got the chance to talk to a psych about my ADHD and he had me do some computer test before prescribing me 25mg Strattera. I am really happy for finally being able to get help but i think strattera is messing me up.
I am on two antidepressants aswell and have started become super depressed and tired since starting strattera a week ago. The worst symptom is being sleepy and dizzy all the time. I move my head to the left and i feel like i will faint.
Any of you on strattera had these side effects? Is it worth waiting for another week or two before asking my doc to move me to something like concerta or vyvanse?
Thanks
(also the two antidepressants i am on are Paxil 10 mg and Venex (effexor) 75mg )
Edit - the reason my doc wanted me on Strattera first is because i started getting psychotic from cannabis abuse a year or two ago. He said that amphetamines can cause psychosis in people who have had it before. | ADHD |
i just downloaded Reddit for the first time, so hopefullt this post is okay!
i’ve had consistent obsessions for the past few years about demons following me, trying to possess me, getting possessed in my sleep and hurting everyone in my house, demons hiding in my house, etc.
i didn’t grow up religious and i don’t even believe in anything super natural when i’m “level headed”. the fear is that the demons are going to hurt me or others, or possess me to hurt others. im finding it hard to draw a line, but this feels like it fits more with harm ocd than religious ocd.
has anyone else experienced anything similar? | OCD |
TW for SA, miscarriage, doctors, unsupportive parents
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It's been a rough few weeks and I keep meaning to make this post but I've been so tired. Just want to vent here.
Late last month, with the help of my amazing and infinitely patient SO, I talked through some of my memories of being sexually abused 3 years ago and was able to... recover (? IDK if that's the right word) a repressed memory from those six months. It left me pretty fragile. A couple days after that I had a routine OB/GYN appointment complete with pelvic exam, and since I don't have a car my mom drove me. I don't live at home and I like it that way. My parents are not very supportive of my PTSD diagnosis or symptoms and my mom in particular often tells me to get a grip, because I never was like this before. Like, yes mom that's the point. I suffered a *trauma* and now I'm a little different than I used to be, you know? And as the years have gone on my symptoms have gotten worse.
So my mom was bringing me to and back from my OB/GYN appointment and thankfully she didn't come into the exam room with me like she initially wanted to (I'm 20). The exam was stressful and immensely triggering, and thankfully I have a pretty understanding gynecologist. But I still ended up being shaky and stuttering a fair bit after the appointment. My doctor let me sit in the exam room by myself for a bit to try and ground myself, but after a few minutes I knew my mom would be impatient so I went back out to the waiting room. My younger sibling was there and understands that I have a stutter when stressed/scared and doesn't have a problem with it. Mom on the other hand was tearing into me for stuttering and "acting out for attention" the whole drive back to the apartment I live in, and during the donut stop we made on the way. Naturally, my trying to correct the stutter just made it worse (I have tried almost everything I can think of but have found that the only way that's yielded results has been being silent and alone in a safe place where I'm not expected to talk to anyone).
After that disaster of an appointment, a few days/maybe a week later I had a really bad flashback, got stuck in a very unhealthy mindset from the past, and it just didn't go well. Bad stutter, forced myself to sleep on the floor and not eat anything, refused to believe I'm a human being with rights and feelings. And a little after that I learned that my abuser had been to court for domestic violence, pled not guilty, and got off because they didn't want to prosecute. It reminded me so much of my own experience, except that my parents refused to press charges because it wasn't worth the time and money (I was 17 at this time). Later on the night that I found out about my abuser's DV charge I told my SO an experience I'd had shortly after my abuser had left, where I'd gone roughly 2 - 2 and a half months without a period and then had a very painful, clot-filled week-long period and then a week without one and then a normal period again. My SO suggested that maybe I'd been pregnant and had a miscarriage since that's the most likely explanation. I have thought about little else since, it's been a week. I plan on meeting with my primary doctor and see if they have a way of telling me for sure, though I doubt it. My already-poor sleep has taken a turn for the worse and I've begun experiencing the beginnings of yet another pre-suicidal spiral.
Through all of this I've had the unwavering support of my amazing SO, which is something I never thought I'd get. I'm so exhausted from everything and I just want it all to stop. I feel horrible for burdening everyone in my life. Wanted to vent because it's been rough. | ptsd |
In the past when i was an adhd gal who almost knifed her own sister. Still family doctor said there's no such thing as adhd and my mom imagined things and it's just a kid with more energy. As a baby i couldnt sleep at all, i was the toughest kid to raise in the family. I was never chill, had so much trouble with school, relationships etc. Thankfully i finished highschool and having. Ahard time to finish college. I'm finally 20 and i got myself checked. First diagnosis was mixed anxiety with depression. Now finally got my adhd diagnosed. Got prescribed meds and excited to start taking them on thursday because my life is a mess. Ive chosen a job where i dont have to work at a desk 8-17, but now after 1,5 months it bores me. :') so chaotic but trying to make it work. | ADHD |
Hi, I was diagnosed privately about a year ago (aged 22) and was prescribed medication privately too. As you can understand, the costs of that was expensive, so I decided to try and go onto the NHS. However, soon after transferring onto their service, I decided I wanted to try and find ways to cope without the meds, so they ‘dropped’ me from their service since I didn’t want any of their offered services anymore.
Now, I’ve decided I want to go back on medication (nhs) but my gp tells me to contact my local adhd services and they tell me I have to talk to my gp. I’m being tossed back and forth and I don’t have the time for this. Neither of them know what they’re talking about.
I need to go back on meds, who’s responsibility is this? | ADHD |
Anyone who has used or uses let me know your experience just for shits and gigs cause it’s different for everyone. I use daily it doesn’t help or hurt my OCD but I’m wondering about y’all | OCD |
I don’t know if I’m exaggerating my feelings or making myself have this. But I keep getting flashbacks and I’m constantly crying about it. I don’t let my boyfriend touch me, or else I get a panic attack and I can’t touch him because i don’t know. It started after a year of peace from a classmate who used to always touch me and I had a lot of people call me a whore for it. Boys in class would see and just smile and I just stood there in shame. He slapped my ass and made me touch him (took my hand and put it on his junk) and this lasted for two years. and it just i don’t know. A lot of cases are much more severe than mine and I feel like I’m making some stuff up or exaggerating I’m really confused. | ptsd |
Hello everyone, I’m a 20 something male with adhd, GAD, and depression. I’m posting here because I feel so hopeless. I can’t focus on anything, I’m anxious and sad all the time. I wake up not wanting to get out of bed, then once I’m out of bed, I start crying. When I’m done crying I mediate and try and calm down with videos and games. It’s either they don’t distract me enough or I’m afraid that I have limited time and get anxious again, start to feel empty. I’m getting medicated heavily for the depression and anxiety, I’m seeing a therapist, and I’m still like this, it’s been months. I can’t take much more of this, I’m so tired of doing this every single day. People just tell me to wait, but I’m sick of it. I can’t stand these emotions, they are too much. I don’t know if posting here helps or not or if someone can help, I just want something to help. | ADHD |
Super simple. My brain can’t feel the chemical rush or that hormonal rush in the brain. I still get horny and feel some emotions in my
Body I can still laugh and cry. But I can’t feel anything when it goes to the brain does it even make sense? And stress also | depression |
No ones told me I’m in danger of that. I just believe that I am. | ptsd |
I was diagnosed at a really young age so don't exactly remember the year like 2007 maybe I'm 18 know so don't exactly know what year for sure. | aspergers |
I am middle-aged and have begun to see my ASD symptoms for what they are. I've been diagnosed with depression/GAD in the past, and just have been given pills and sent on my way. I'm starting to realize there's more to it than that. The depression isn't really depression, it's burnout. The GAD isn't really GAD, it's a natural reaction to things that are difficult for my ND mind to handle.
I went into the psych appointment thinking that perhaps there was an alternative to the grind of eating a pill with breakfast, then smiling and nodding and masking my way through my days. What I got was a suggestion to take a different pill (wellbutrin).
I've already weened myself off the prescription I had been taking (lexapro) with no noticeable changes to my mental well-being, so I think I'm done with that game. I'll stick to the occasional beer and/or hit of cannabis to get me through.
Just needed to put this somewhere. Thanks for reading. | aspergers |
this is my first reddit post so sorry if its janky. i just wna get stuff off my chest.
been struggling w depression for years now (18yrs old now) and it keeps getting worse. i tried therapies / counselling with my current school and it hasn't worked. its become so hard to even live or get up or do anything.
at this point i keep having delusions, hallucinations and everything feels unreal, and i feel like a vessel. There's a lot more to this but i dont feel comfortable fully explaining but I think you get it. I want to get help or try something different but im so scared that ill be placed into a hospital forcefully and i really dont want that but its affecting the way i work, my friendships, and my life altogether. need to apply for college soon and havent even began to think about it. its scary and dark to be honest. S/lf H/rm + suicidal thoughts is also a major problem.
i was thinking of calling the doctor and asking for a referral of some kind but like i said, very scared since im self aware that itd be considered a "severe" case with the psychotic symptoms and such. It's like i have no one to turn to. I'm truly not sure what to do and whether i should go through. I always back out and its genuinely scary to think of even getting help this far in. :/ I think medication is the next step but regarding my age I'm not sure if anything fruitful will come from it. I really just dont know what to do anymore or what direction i should go in with this. I just don't want to be hospitalised more than anything in the world. If i get the medication, then i'll be optimistic to try it out but hospitalisation just scares me so much.
I dont know if I'll make it another year if I have to continue like this. I just hate this so so much. | depression |
Like when I know I gotta wake up early I seem to not sleep. But all of a sudden if there's something I need to do, especially if it involves studying, all of a sudden I'm super sleepy. Anyone else do this?
Like I've been Like this most my life and it's really annoying cuz it contributes greatly to my sleep disorder | ADHD |
I’ve heard it my whole life and it’s so annoying. I can’t help it if I get distracted, I literally have no control over it. That statement is inconsiderate, selfish, and plain ignorant. Especially in the times where I’ll literally chant something over and over again just to make sure I don’t forget while in the middle of doing it, and I’ll still get distracted, and they’ll still say it. Then even when I try to explain that I did care they don’t listen. I’m over it. | ADHD |
Hi all I've been on meds for around a year and noticed I still have some problems directing my focus properly towards work, (99% of the reason I take meds lol) I notice I get distracted still and hyperfocus on other things, do yall have any tips for helping direct that focus the meds allow me towards the less fun things like my actual office work. | ADHD |
Hey all,
We’ve all done it, right? Nothing big if it’s once in a while, but lately I keep doing it!
It’s bad enough when I forget it after getting home, but today I forgot it in the door after leaving to work.
I only realized when I was looking for my keys to swipe the entrance door. I’m tired and sad.
Do you have any tips? | ADHD |
Let me try to say it without saying it; I’m a younger male who has healthy testosterone levels and is pretty active. If I don’t partake in what most males are notoriously known for doing when bored, I wake up in the middle of the night with a messy surprise. Usually if it happens I take a thorough shower and all is ok. However, I cannot do that right now because my city doesn’t have clean water (we endured natural disaster and water is being restored).
I’m currently sitting in bed paralyzed and cannot move. I feel so, so uncomfortable (regardless of the contamination). I feel itchy and have the urge to scream on the top of my lungs.
I cannot shower and do not have any clean water to clean myself. The only reason I can type on my phone is because I haven’t tried to clean the mess.
Guys, I’m miserable. I have to work tomorrow but I can’t even get out of bed at this rate. Please, if somebody could help...I feel like I want to cry and I’m so embarrassed. I have to somehow get up later and touch my computer to login to work. How am I going to do this? In order to get clean water I have to boil it, but since there is currently a mess, getting up and boiling water will spread it everywhere, and then I won’t even be able to touch the pot to boil water.
This is a nightmare, except it isn’t because I’m wide awake and aware I’m in reality.
——
Update; an hour in and I’m still wide awake (albeit exhausted), and starting to accept that I’m going to have to face some exposure that I definitely wasn’t ready for yet. I’ve exposed myself to other triggers before, but I’m only a level 2 character. This post and the exposure I’m talking about is really for an experienced player probably at level 10 at least, | OCD |
I know I have had other themes of ocd but I’m scared that’ll I’ll become obsessed with my fiancé and need every ounce of love from her. I’m worried this will turn into obsession and I’m scared because I don’t want to be a weirdo. I’ve felt so needy for her lately . I know this is most likely ocd but just need some advice .I’m constantly asking if she loves me and it’s scaring me because it’s like I need that reassurance | OCD |
This morning was kinda hectic. In the middle of it all, I find out that my smallest kids boots, which has been wet since Saturday, still hasn’t dried properly. This is a routine situation and I’ve made a rack to hold a hair drier in a good position over the boots to dry them quickly.
But as the boots are getting warm from the drying, it becomes obvious that there is some sort of bacterial growth going on in the boots. They start to smell a lot. I have a background in chemistry and biochemistry, and I think to myself that the best and quickest way to get rid of bacteria in a host of platic, is by microwaving the boots.
I’ve done this a number of times with other objects. Dish cloths that starts to smell, towels, toothbrushes, and all other sorts of inorganic objects that are smelly can get fixed really quick by 15-30 secs at 800 W.
So I think to myself: “Let’s try that with the boots. I’ll of course keep an eye on what’s happening, and I’m ready to stop the MW anytime. Besides, there’s no real metal on the boots so what could happen?” I have a few nagging thoughts, like what will happen to the glue but I shake them off. Besides, I’m gonna be keeping an eye on it the whole time. What can go wrong?!
Fast forward eight seconds, and I make an emergency stop on the MW as there are sparks and flashes from the boot. Turns out that the wires in the BOA locking system are made of steel wires coated in plastic. And now the boot is - not completely, but somewhat - burnt out.
Thanks, impulsive brain who doesn’t stop to think twice. That’s just another €120 on the ADHD tax account. | ADHD |
Every damn night it's the same , all those moments replaying in my head like a broken record , thoughts of if , what , how and why , over and over again .
I can't catch a break , no matter what i do and how tired or sleepy i am , i can't get the voices , the images and the sounds out of my head .
It's a living hell , i just want to go on with my life but those dark moments keep finding their way back on my mind .
The people around me aren't helping , making jokes and remarks about those moments .
I started getting back on track , i'm attending class , i'm exercising , i'm lifting and running , but no matter how better my body gets my mind is stuck in that broken state .
The days aren't better but at least the world is alive then , car horns , sirens , jokes and drinks keep those thoughts somewhat repressed .
But at night everything slows down , the world goes quiet , and that's when i'm left alone with them .
Reddit and other anonymous communities are my only safe place to talk about my issues because you fellas don't know my name and can't hurt me.
Every person irl that i've confided in has used the information to stab me in the back , i'm just about all alone.
thank you for hearing me out. | ptsd |
Firstly I'd like to apologize for my terrible parenthesis habit, it is what it is, sorry.
Anyways, I'm interested in moving out soonish, (for context, I'm in my early 20's) as my parents over the last year and a bit my parents have become your stereotypical right wing conspiracy theorists, COVID is fake, vaccines are evil (anti-vax), anti-mask, Bill Gates is evil and wants to depopulate the world (not saying the guy's a saint by any means, but that's insane), wants to "wake people up" QAnon-Adjacent etc etc. Constantly on BitChute, MeWe and other alt-tech platforms I think you get the gist. I won't go into a deep dive on how it happened as it's not relevant, but I have my theories (social media algorithms, fear exacerbated by the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic & seeking comfort in the wrong places etc etc.)
Anyways the point is my mental health has been suffering (not that it was great prior to this anyways, more on that later) as I feel like I'm walking on eggshells/tension bubbling under the surface around both my parents (especially my mother) and I just avoid them both (again, especially my mother) as I just don't need the conflict/confrontation in my life and I feel my relationship with both my parents has deteriorated since the pandemic, we're way more distant, it feels like both my parents are different people than what they were 18 mere months ago and it kills me inside, but I can't do much about it sadly, it's their choice. Additionally my mother can be a very controlling person even if she fails to notice (or acknowledge) her behaviour and it drives me up the proverbial wall.
They (my parents) also have recently (or are just about to, murky on the details atm, I know for sure they have pre-approval for a home loan and it's 99% sure it will happen) bought an "off-grid" house/large plot of land in the middle of nowhere several hundred kilometers from where we live currently (peri-urban). She claims it's a "weekend home" and intends to move there (with likeminded nutcase friends I might add) when she and my father retire (both aged in their early 50's), or at least that's what they claim, but 6 months ago they claimed they we're unsure of if they were gonna buy anything, but to be fair, the housing market can be topsy turvy sometimes, so I don't know if I can trust them if it's their retirement plan but who would want to be isolated from the world when your meat suit is close to expiring and you're far away from healthcare if something went seriously wrong? Unless they don't trust healthcare anymore maybe? So I don't know if they plan to up and move there soonish (they can afford the house we live in now/paying off their new one so financially they can maintain both residences should they choose so that's not a factor if they move now or later) if they feel like shits gonna hit the fan from one of their conspiracies and up and go like that or move there full time in 10-15 years? idk.. yet another reason to bail I guess as I don't even know if I'll be able to live with my parents if they suddenly decide to move up to their new home permanently which no, moving to the middle of nowhere with a bunch of people who would hate me (see next paragraph) does not appeal to me.
I'm also transgender (MTF), which wasn't helping my mental health either (dysphoria), but has eased back somewhat since I have started HRT (Hormone replacement therapy), I mention this because I'm not out to anyone IRL except a therapist/doctor involved in my transition and I'm worried the physical changes which are already occurring more rapidly than I expected will become hard to hide sooner rather than later, which would be problematic as they have expressed transphobic views (hence the main reason I'm not out to them). I thought I would've had at least a year before things would become noticeable, naive on my part, and no, stopping HRT for a while is not an option so that's also another imperative to move out soon before they know what's up and I get shit from them.
Anyways that's my brief summary of my current situation/rant.
The thing is, mentally in many respects I still feel like an early adolescent (mentally) I don't feel like an adult if that makes sense (I know many NT's can relate to that statement but I think it can be different for aspies sometimes) basically my mentality hasn't changed since early (original) adolescence except swap school with work and instead of taking a bus I drive my own car to work and it's basically me in a nutshell I feel like I'm mentally frozen (routine wise at least) in time I still depend on my parents for nearly everything an early adolescent would. I come home from work whatever semblance of adulthood I have (mentally) vanishes, my parents still cook for me, buy necessities, basically all the adulting stuff early adolescents generally don't need to deal with are still handled by my parents. Apart from working & buying junk food I basically sit in my room and browse the web/mess around with technology/sleep, I don't really do much else, and this was similar even before the pandemic started. I guess what I'm trying to say in a very non-succinct way is I don't have the first clue on how to adult due to my autism stunting my executive function or sheltering by my parents or worse if I'm even capable of it (adulting properly), I can barely manage to hold down my job and it exhausts me, and getting another job isn't exactly easy in this economy so it beats being unemployed I guess.
I've never lived independently and I don't have a clue on how to manage finances (I save and have roughly $10K AUD in the bank and make about 1K AUD a week, probably enough to live on at least if I'm frugal but managing money when you have significant expenses is a whole different ball game it seems) or how to manage a household, cooking, cleaning, initiating a home rental (applying etc), what to buy, meal planning etc etc. I understand some of it in a theoretical sense, but doing it in practice is very different, just adulting in general basically. Think of a young teen forced to live on their own and that would likely be me when/if I manage to move out. I feel partially at fault as I've allowed myself to remain dependent on my parents for for the above instead of easing myself into it earlier which could've softened the blow.
TL;DR I guess the summary is I don't know if I can make it in the big bad world alone or just succumb to the pressure of everyday life that most adults can at least endure. If you have any advice and not the generic write a list of what you need to get/do/schedule. But how the heck you managed to do it when you still don't feel like an adult or felt like you couldn't "adult" or relate/d to me if that makes sense. Did you eventually get used to your new normal or is/was it still hard/how did you pull through, especially burdened with autism on your own as I have nobody in my life to fall back on if things don't work out, Ideally I'd live with my parents forever, but that's not a viable long term option for my mental/physical health, especially since they've gone down the conspiracy rabbit hole. Plus I feel like moving out would break the psychological grip my mother has over me so that's a plus.
Sorry if this was all disjointed or poorly explained, but my mind is a little messed up atm. | aspergers |
Fuck themmmmnnnnnnn fuckjjjjjjjjjn they dont workkkkk
Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Cccccccxccxxxxxxcc
Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Enoughjjhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjjjjjhhh | OCD |
I’ve had numerous versions of OCD and deal with Maladaptive Daydreaming every day, and it’s been like this since I was in the 1st grade (27 now). Today has been rough, all stemming from me noticing my $400 corduroy pants not feeling as they did when I bought them (yea that’s a lot of dough for some corduroys but they are made by a black owned business so that was excuse enough for me to buy them).
This is entirely my fault, didn’t notice until I washed them a few times that they were dry clean only. I started to stress out terribly, feeling uncomfortable in my own body to the point of freaking out, wanting to start breaking things and hit myself. I was able to subdue the physical actions but mentally I was just not having it, although I sucked it up because it was time to take my newborn son for a check up.
It’s going to be pretty hard to focus my energy on working towards either healing this issue or at least finding some sort of solution that would render these issues insignificant. I didn’t really care enough before to actively work towards achieving peace of mind, instead just letting these problems ruin my quality of life, but now that I have a son I don’t this shit to have power over me.
I guess I’m just making this post to vent, but any tips would help | OCD |
What medication are you on for PTSD?
I am currently on: Prazosin, Sertraline and Zopiclone but right now my flashbacks are unbelievably difficult | ptsd |
Before you say you can. You can't. I'm too far gone. I'm a lost cause. I don't know what I want anymore. I really don't. I've lost everything that gave me joy. No one listens. They might read my posts y but they don't listen to what I'm saying. | depression |
I saw this list of coping mechanisms shared on one of Katie d'Ath's YouTube videos ([https://www.youtube.com/user/23katied](https://www.youtube.com/user/23katied)) in the comments, and I'll paste it here:
1. See a psychologist who is well aware of CBT and ERP that is cognitive behavioral therapy and exposure . You may at first ask them if they can administer this therapy for you. If you feel they are being Freudian and trying to pick your brain (like: How does this make you feel? Why do you think you have these thoughts?) know they are unqualified to help you, they can only make it worse. (I know from experience) CBT and ERP will be similar to the advice I have written below.
2. Take SSRI’s. These anti-depressants lessen your intrusive thoughts
3. Read about OCD and the OCD types of others. Mine was Harm Pure O and reading about the others in length helps understand what is going on.
4. Exercise everyday
5. Surround yourself with friends and family (don’t stay at home)
6. Meditation/prayer. Though if these are the cause of your OCD skip this advice. If not then try.
7. Try art/ crafts or reading
8. Finally and most importantly.... ERP... stand up to the dragon. The best form of overcoming your fear is to bring it on yourself. If you have a fear of stabbing someone don’t hide the knife but bring it out and label your thoughts as they come into your brain. Acknowledge that these thoughts have nothing to do with you, they are just chemical reactions. Example: if your brain says I am going to stab her, then instead of avoiding the thought say, repeat what you said. Strangely it works. Know they are not you who is speaking just the dragon. You are the brave knight. | OCD |
I take Vyvanse and it makes things much better for me, but I see posts all the time for Adderall.
People who have had both, is one better than the other? I’ve only ever had Vyvanse, which is successful, but it takes a while to kick in (one hour) and it wears off usually by 5pm. I also can’t take it later in the day or I have trouble falling asleep. Share your experience! | ADHD |
I’m on my 4th day of bupropion for Anxiety and ADHD symptoms. Was prepared to have insomnia etc. instead I’ve been sleeping for 8-9 hours a night but takes me an hour to get out of bed now. Feel foggy headed and dizzy a lot. Haven’t been able to do regular routines like exercise.
I’m usually a happy person and get so hyper. Since I started I have been emotionless, lost my empathy, and little sounds are amplified and irritate me. Right now I have no clue how I’m feeling but I’m feeling something and I DON’T LIKE IT AT ALL. It’s the weekend so dr office is closed. Can I just stop taking it all of a sudden or wait until Monday to call dr? | ADHD |
I dont remember how but i have a scratch on my leg. Either a scratch or i scuffed my leg on somethin. Should i get a rabies vaccime? Im frreaking out. This scratch i noticed 5 days ago. | OCD |
Recently, I've been talking with my therapist about trying to change my mindset about school work so that I can work on my procrastination. A mantra that she gave me is "I'm not a slave to instant gratification"
I have this essay that I need to write, and instead of writing it, I'm just watching true crime stuff on YouTube. I'm already going to get 10 points deducted because I'm turning it in late and I haven't even started.
I try so hard to give into my impulses to ignore my work but it's so hard to pull away. Even when I'm medicated it doesn't help.
Yesterday I said that I was going to sit down and knock the essay out, but I literally spent the entire day watching YouTube actively aware that I'm procrastinating. It's hell. | ADHD |
today is my first good day in months and it gives me hope. i know bad days are to come and so are bad moments but for the first time in a while i genuinely feel like i’m behind the steering wheel of my life. | ptsd |
I’m 24 and have been severely struggling with the day to day responsibilities of being an adult. I never thought that I might have had ADHD until I finally decided to try therapy this year and my therapist immediately recommended I get tested for ADHD
I had never thought of this as a possibility as I had done fine in life until after I got a degree and that I wouldn’t have made it out of high school if I did have it. After doing research and connecting the dots ADHD just seemed like it made so much sense and I went through the gruesomely long process of getting tested.
The bulk of my testing involved going into an office and answering math related questions and then a 20 min reaction test. I didn’t think much of it but just assumed things will work themselves out.
Today I got my results and they were pretty all over the place except my impulse control was awful, the psychiatrist said this is clear sign of anxiety because my working memory was fine and the other tests weren’t consistently bad. I tried to explain that my working memory isn’t an issue when I’m asked to do something I am engaged in like adhd testing and that doesn’t apply to 99% of every other aspect of life but she stressed that the test results show anxiety.
Have any of the adults had similar experiences? At this point I plan on treating it as anxiety for the time being and if it doesn’t work I will try again but anxiety is something I’ve already gone through a process of addressing in the past and the issues I have are something I’ve never addressed before. | ADHD |
I guess I’m not good with boredom.
All I ever want to do is sleep (I don’t even like to watch TV because I’ll just end up on my phone, I can read sometimes, depends where I am—I can only read in big spacious rooms like a library and in places with bright white lights).
If I need to study, I put it off till last minute. But whenever I do study, I’m distracted by my phone.
If I need to wake up, I put it off till last minute and give myself just enough time to get dressed, brush my hair and teeth, not eat, not make coffee, and then I leave right away. | ADHD |
I have no problem talking to people when im with them. But any time they’re not physically with me i get a very strong anxiety about it. I worry that the fact that im always the first one to say something or start a conversation means they dont want to talk to me. I second guess and question every friendship i have. I feel so behind on social skills like everyone around me is comfortable in their social circles and im on the outskirts and don’t belong to any of them | depression |
I used to be so embarrassed by this habit because I have trouble hiding it even in public places and I try so hard not to reach for dust if I see it but it wrenches my insides to not clean it. My family and boyfriend know all about it and except it as one of my “quirks” which makes me feel more relaxed about it. Does anyone else do this? | OCD |
(Also posted to r/adhdwomen)
Ive been constantly biting my nails and picking at my feet since i was about 5 (21 now) and nothing I ever do helps. Im guessing its a stimulation thing because its not something i do when im anxious or stressed its just 24/7 no matter what. I used to get in trouble at school because when we had to be quiet you could just always hear me munching on my hands in the background. My fingers (and toes...) are always raw and bleeding and i need some advice as to what might help.
The other big thing i do when im bored is binge eat, also for a couple of years i would be pretty much constantly vaping when i was alone. I quit smoking a while ago, im trying to lose weight, and so now i have nothing else to do with my hands and mouth except tear into the skin around my nails.
I used to bite the actual nail part, but started doing manicures on myself hoping that i wouldnt want to ruin them. This worked and i have lovely long nails but i switched to picking at my cuticles and now the skin around them is always bitten raw almost down to the knuckle.
I literally had a dissection tool i stole from biology class in high school to get in deep and when i threw it out i started using needles, tweezers, anything i have around.
Ive tried basically dipping my whole fingers in that yucky tasting anti-biting stuff but i just dont care and accept the fact that im just gonna have the taste of it permanently in my mouth for a few weeks until i give up.
Please help! My hands and toes are always in pain and theres the health concern of possible infection too. | ADHD |
This year, I got out of a 5 year relationship. She wanted to end things because I couldn’t make her happy. When I finally left, realizing how alone I actually was, I could hardly bare the thought. This year, is the first year of my life where I have come to a crossroads. Either I move back home with my parents, or I suffer through the pain of being here in the dark all by my lonesome. I don’t like either of those options. I can’t even afford a cake for my birthday. Some life huh | depression |
I have PTSD. Diagnosed 11 years ago by a psychiatrist.
This summer has been the hardest of my life. I am 40. I am living in party-central. I rent an apartment and the neighbors constantly party and drink. I witnessed a murder years back and it included drunk individuals who were screaming in the street. I have intoxicated men yelling and partying in my shared yard/porch for hours. Sometimes they start drinking at noon. I have tried to tune it out with noise cancelling headphones, meditation, and exercise but I can not do it.
I am in a state of panic 24/7. I am surrounded by men on all sides in a condo. The partying usually goes into my backyard. Last night, I had the men in the back yard of my complex and one started going through my personal items in the yard. One was in my chair on the porch. I would never confront a drunk man. I am also a rape survivor so this triggered me to no end.
I have a 16 year old daughter. Her father decided to give up on her this year starting in January. He doesn't want the responsibility of a teenage child with anger issues anymore. She is very angry. I understand this, but my fears with the men plus her anger in the small cramped apartment are becoming way too much this summer. When they start drinking, she will swear and kick the walls. She screams at them. This makes me more fearful that we will be attacked if we walk outside.
She does work a part-time job. Last night, I had to walk outside at 11pm in the dark to meet her after work since her job is within walking distance. I felt the stares of all the intoxicated men on both of us as I walked onto my porch and tried to get my teenage child safely into my home. I had to warn her to ignore any sexual comments before we got back home and I was visibly shaking while putting the key into the door.
Also, I just got out of a 2.5 year relationship with a man who was the only person I could talk to about these things. He was diagnosed schizophrenic. He has been driving past our apartment at all hours. I have had to alert police of this and also be aware of his presence. I am an absolute prisoner in this home with security camera's pointed in all directions covering every square inch of this property in case anyone tries to break in. I do not sleep.
I can not believe this is the way I live at age 40. Every morning I wake up, go downstairs, and watch security camera footage of men. I do not have one female neighbor in this complex. I am trying very hard to move but the real estate prices have gone SKY HIGH in my area.
I really just need to vent. I could use any advice at all as to how to cope from anyone who is fearful of being attacked. I feel adrenaline every time a man slams his beer bottles into the trash. When they drink and yell, I start crying. How do I live like this? Thanks. | ptsd |
It’s been about 5 years since I suffered the more severe affects of PTSD. This included memory loss, social anxiety, paranoia and PTSD dreams/nightmares among other things.
I definitely don’t miss the more severe side of the other symptoms. But I don’t dream anymore, or at least I don’t remember my dreams.
At first this was a good thing. I mean the dreams were not pretty. And I had some situations where I came very close to hurting loved ones when I woke up. But now I fee like I’ve lost something important because I can’t dream. It’s hard to explain.
If anyone else has experienced this I’d like to hear your take on it.
I know it’s an odd thing to say. And for those that are currently experiencing dreams/nightmares it probably sounds absolutely ridiculous. And I apologise if it stirs up any negative emotions. It’s not my intent. | ptsd |
My Doctor left the practice. I found out when I went to get my script refilled. Sorry we can’t fill this the doctor is no longer active or something. I called the practice and they were unhelpful / referred me to other practices. I called the other practices and they need an assessment which is fine and I understand but the availability of mental health providers locally is challenging. I’ve been medicated for 15 years and it’s looking like at least a month before something could change. I’m making progress on that front but I’m out of my meds and I’m worried about school (mba last class) work and home life. I remember what it was like before and I’m scared about the now. The whole house of cards feels like it could fall.
Any suggestions on how to cope for the next month or so without medication? | ADHD |
I can't even choose what chips to buy from the store | OCD |
I’ve been depressed for 4+ years. It clearly affected my sleep cycle. I had sleep paralysis for 2 years and frequent nightmares. As time went on, I got used to my dreams. They’re still very disturbing, sometimes too gory, but I still sleep through them. When I started meditating my dreams became a little more palatable. They’re intriguing, and I wish I’d remembered every detail so I could write them down and interpret them, but of course, I could only remember the main features. These dreams went from something I was so terrified of, to an essential part of my life. | depression |
i look at old pictures and videos of me and it breaks my heart. I was so full of life even my eyes looked like they had sparkle in them. I was so loud and confident and wasn’t scared of anything or anyone for that matter. I walked with a purpose and a sense of happiness every single day. I loved waking up in the morning and I loved going to sleep knowing the next day I would be able to enjoy life again. I was artistic and loved photography it was my passion and pure bliss to me. I was very social and enjoyed traveling and going out. I always felt things with such deep emotion wether it was good or bad and I truly feel like that is why I used to enjoy life so much. My siblings loved being around me and I enjoyed their company just as much. Are favorite thing was to go to the beach and get pizza afterward. I would find the beauty in the tiniest things that normally people would pay attention to. I would laugh at everything especially with my friends. They were the best friends you could ever ask for and I miss them dearly. I miss always being known as the “hard working” person in my friend group. I miss sitting outside in the middle of the night on the porch with my dog feeling the breeze and having this content feeling within myself knowing that whatever happens in the future that I would get through it.
My trauma has taken that ability to feel at peace in my soul and heart.
I hope one day my siblings won’t look at me in such confusion as to why I am not the same anymore. I hope one day I will be able to finish an oil painting without dissociating for long periods of time and not being able to concentrate. I hope one day I am able to hang out with people without freaking out internally because they want to give me a hug. I hope one day I can sit on the porch again and feel that internal peace I once felt before.
time heals all. i’m hoping time can heal me | ptsd |
I don’t know why I let your words affect me. I honestly don’t even know why I give you the time of day. We’re not the same. We’re built differently. You can’t relate to me and I can’t relate to you. I didn’t have a home. Their was no unconditional love. A warm bed and a warm meal wasn’t a guarantee. My life and your life are not the same. Your life is about being comfortable, my life has been about survival. I have fought tooth and nail for every damn thing you take for granted. So no, I’m sorry you don’t get to judge me, you don’t get to cast your stones at me or talk down to me. I have paved my way in blood sweat and tears. And despite everything this world has put me through I am still a good person. I am a better person than most actually. I am respectful and considerate because I know how lonely and vicious this world can be. I know how tired and defeated you have to be to put a gun to your temple. I know what it’s like to be so desperate to feel better and escape this world your willing to stick a needle with poison off the streets in your arm. To wake up every morning so empty and broken and afraid and tired. I have love in my heart because I know how all of it feels. I am proud of the man I am today. I’m glad I’m different. I wouldn’t trade who I am for a anyone else. I’m 11 months sober from a decade long battle with opiate and benzodiazepines. I am not worthless and I am stronger than you can ever imagine. | ptsd |
Edit: Title should say " **What to-do list tech do you use and how do you use it?"**
I have a Trello membership and mountains of Butler automations (although I don't think they call it Butler anymore). I have a "central" trello board which has a loose kanban arrangement to it, with a column for reference materials and a column for "backlog".
I have a board I use like Google Keep (I should probably just use Google Keep) and when anything becomes a "bigger" category I expand out into similar "guide" columns and sometimes even boards. Also anytime I want to use a kanban-style arrangement I just open up another board.
How about you? How do you get your stuff done? I'm looking for ideas since I've got a week off coming up and I'm hoping to be bored enough to do some brainstorming lol. | ADHD |
i want to say something so bad.. but i worry about dealing with backlash from family members or others.. and i feel like my abuser would try to turn it on me saying that i never said no.. or that he always tried to encourage me to say no.. when he really didnt. i felt scared to say no..
i want to have the power some people i see have to be able to say "hey screw you! you hurt me and im telling everyone so they stay away from your predatory ass"
he didnt just hurt me either he hurt another girl who is my friend and forced himself on her.. i honestly really want to say something and i cannot shake this feeling.
i dont want him to hurt other people | ptsd |
So I’ve definitely got some anxiety issues, general and social. Been on meds that helped my depression and some to help the anxiety and sleep.
I’ve been reading a lot of aspie stuff and I can really relate to it. I took one of those tests where the “probably yes” limit was 33 and I got...33.
But this isn’t the first time I’ve self diagnosed with autism or some other disorder. Probably the 4th time as many years. But every time I ask my therapist (on my 3rd now) it’s a no.
So consider me confused. I just want to put a name to the source of my issues. If I could label it then it would help me accept and understand. But I also feel guilty of sort of stealing someone else’s real issue? Like mental health appropriation?
Bah. Just want to vent I guess. Seeing my doc in a few weeks again so I’ll see how that goes.
Edit. F*** this reads like garbage. It makes sense in my head, just don’t know how to say it properly. | aspergers |
Hi all,
I’m confident I have adhd (combined) I had a teacher in early hs tell me I probably do, I brought it to my mum and she said you do too well in school and that was it. Flash forward to uni, dropped out after first year to move to a different continent (one of my many impulsive acts). Finished uni later, after picking a no study program and here I am starting my professional life. I display several diagnostic symptoms.
My fiancé who is diagnosed (combined type) thinks I have it-worse than him probably.
My roommate whose mother was diagnosed as an adult thinks I have it- after moving in (sorry bout the mess lol).
My uncle has it and is diagnosed (genetically related)
Wondering what sort of information or personal tidbits I could bring to the appointment, I know in some cases GPs prescribe and that would be ideal because specialists are out of my price range $2000 + (am willing, who knows when I’ll make an appointment). If you were to look at me, I don’t at all look stimulant seeking.
Would it be beneficial to mention I tried Aderall once before and it was good, clarity, wasn’t like a normie on aderall. Also would it be beneficial to mention my fiancé was and is no longer medicated (so likely good get access)? I know both are not good things to share but would they assist in getting my point across?
Unfortunately my gp does not know me personally because of my inability to make appointments I haven’t seen her (or anyone ) for probably 6 years. | ADHD |
This past few months I've become like a hermit. I've mostly stayed in the house or places like Starbucks. I think I've developed a kind of social anxiety. I used to be an outgoing guy.
I need to fight this but it sucks not having many friends (I live in a foreign country) but it's my own fault.. | OCD |
Everyone is sick of hearing about Coronavirus, but this crap is screwing with my PTSD recovery and I need to vent.
Ive been off work for a year recovering from PTSD. I attended an intensive outpatient program, I see a trauma focused therapist weekly and have been doing exposure therapy for 3 months. I also go to a group therapy session once a week, see my regular therapist twice a month, and see a psychiatrist once a month. I couldn't work because of the appointments and my symptoms and it's been a tough year financially. Getting back to work has been a major goal of mine. I like providing for my family and I thrive around routine. I was finally released by my doctors to go back to work part time and I've been thrilled. I busted my ass looking for work for weeks and landed my perfect job 2 weeks ago. Last week was my first week and I loved it. I felt proud of myself for the first time I can truly remember. I was moving forward and things were looking up.
I live in Ohio and I have an 8 year old child. All of the schools in the state are closed until April 6th. I was planning to send my son to daycare while I worked. He's been going there for years on breaks/snow days/etc. I got a call this afternoon from the daycare saying theyre closing the facility for Coronavirus until school is back in session. I called my new job and they told me to call back when I'm free, but the position will likely be filled. I have no family to help babysit (they all work) and my husband makes so much more money than I do that we would lose money if I worked and he stayed home with the kiddo. I completely understand why things are closing and I'm glad Ohio is taking the necessary steps to keep people safe. However, this is a big hit to my wallet and my self esteem. I've worked SO HARD to get to this point in my recovery and it hurts to come this far just to have something Im in no control over screw me. I feel like every time I come up for air I get pushed back down.
Thanks for reading. I wish you all peace and health during this crazy time.
Edit- spelling | ptsd |
Sometimes I wake up with auditory and visual hallucinations | OCD |
Does anyone else get this weird urge to trauma dump but in a very obsessive way?
Anytime I meet someone new or know there’s someone who only sees my happy side, my brain does this super weird thing where it’ll basically do a suuppper corny “short film” like surrounded by this “but she’s not always happy” narrative
Like my brain romanticizes my trauma as this “quirky” contrast to my happy and healed self to make myself seem more endearing or like as a “build-up” to me opening up to a person about my trauma.
Like my brain takes trauma dumping as some fun warm-up activity and attaches my trauma to my identity that someone will eventually have to find out in detail if they wanna get close to me.
Lately it’s been really fucking with me because I’ve been getting new friends and one I’m slowly but surely getting closer to. I’ll be talking to them and suddenly my brain plays out scenarios of me having breakdowns in front of them or it replays my trauma and I have to relive the event(s) all over again. Just happened half an hour ago and I felt so uncomfortable.
This is especially the case now that I’ve embarked on my healing journey. My brain won’t let me let go. I’ve been so happy lately and I’m afraid to feel shitty again because of this | ptsd |
Hi all. I’m still learning about the ins and out of everything going on in my head and I’m really trying to learn from people who’ve been there and understand.
Sometimes I will catch myself doing a compulsion or compulsive behavior after the fact and in the moment I didn’t even realize I was doing it. Can this happen? Sometimes I can catch myself when I get the urge but other times I just do it and think to myself “wait was that compulsive?”
I hope that makes sense to someone because it doesn’t make a lot of sense in my head right now | OCD |
I've been prescribed the highest dose of concerta in my country for my ADD for the last year. I noticed recently it makes me really happy and also a little hyper, I also noticed recently it makes me really confident; it's my first year in college and I have charisma never seen before in secondary school.
One day I had lab work for 3ish hrs straight and no breaks, and that day I forgot my medication but I was able to concentrate for the 3 hrs perfectly and took in all the information I needed. I'm not sure if I need medication anymore or if I'm subconsciously using ADD as an excuse not to focus.
like I'm just so confused the last few weeks, I find it easier to do mundane tasks like cleaning my room is easier without meds.
Is anyone else in a similar boat? | ADHD |
So normally when I get triggered my head will twitch or I won’t be able to control my body or my body will shake but just now something really weird happened and I was wondering if it was my PTSD or something else. So I got triggered but it usually doesn’t effect me right away and so about 10 mins go by and all of a sudden my body started to tingling all over like I’m not shaking but it’s just tingling and I don’t know why and it’s kinda freaking me out idk if I should be worried or not I’m a little nauseous as well but I just feel really weird | ptsd |
I have heavily suspected having ADHD for several months. I have had every symptom of an inattentive ADHD persistently since I have use of memory. Im pretty convinced of this since both my father and my sister have signs of Inattentive ADHD.
So, these last two months I have been having appointments with a psycologist, but I didn't tell her yet. I gave her several hints though. Here is where she shows mixed signs.
At first, I talked about how hard to me is to pay attention to the task at hand, and I mentioned that I tend to procrastinate and hyperfocus (without saying that word) on things. Then she says 'The people with inattentive traits like you... Blah blah blah, followed by a sudden 'are you hyperactive?'. These were signs that she was getting what I was trying to say
But yesterday, I tell her how absentminded I am and that I think that not paying attention to what people says to me doesn't let me build strong relationships. I was going to tell her about this thing of my suspected ADHD. But then she says sth like "Maybe you dont pay attention because you are not interested in what's being said"
What should I do? I'm thinking about telling her about ADD anyways, but I am afraid she could possibly be a either uninformed or misinformed about this. Maybe I am overthinking it | ADHD |
Hey gang. I'm going to be doing contamination exposure soon and need help gathering videos with examples to expose myself to. I've been having trouble finding the kind of content I need so maybe you guys can help.
I need videos of people cooking at home where they don't follow food safety procedures and cross-contaminate their food. An example would be a video where someone is cooking a meal and they use a knife to cut raw meat and then the same knife for something else. Or not washing their hands between handling different ingredients. If it helps to know, I specifically have a problem about raw meat, fish, or poultry contaminating tools, surfaces, hands, and other food.
If any of you know of any Youtube channels or Instagrams or TikToks where the person can be seen doing these things, that would be very helpful, since I currently avoid watching amateur cooking videos for this reason. If you can think of any other subreddits where this question might be more in their wheelhouse, that would help too.
Thanks! | OCD |
So my PTSD is heavily linked to medical trauma, childhood, and several severely abusive people who were in my life during really difficult times.
I don’t even know how but yesterday I got triggered hardcore and flipped out on a coworker because she was hovering heavily over me and making me feel inadequate.
Long story short: I created a small scene and stormed away. I’d been having a Bad Mental Health day and had hoped I could skate by on minimal Interaction and only smile and nod at customers when needed, but I guess not. Cue panic attack where I can’t stop crying and my boss and supervisor force me to explain what happened. I felt ashamed at my trauma trigger so I said something surface of discussing disability again (happens 1x or 2x a year but I’m stubborn). On earth am I supposed to say? My coworker triggered the crap out of me and I had a panic attack bc I had severe insomnia and nightmares last night? I would just be told to be more positive. Don’t bring my personal problems in.
I want to address the girl I flipped on but I’m worried she’ll just make me feel worse and I’m tired of people not taking responsibility or at least apologizing for it you know? It’s not that I expected the coworker to know but when I explain I’d appreciate a “your feelings are valid”. I dunno what to do but I’ve been so anxious and depressed since it happened.
Not only that, but the boss scolded me saying I need to be more positive and that said coworker could never do anything wrong (favoritism is strong at this place). I felt so invalidated and crazy. I’m used to people taking the sane person’s side but cmon. You couldn’t at least like say “you’re totally valid for being upset but the baristas said this as well.” Or something. I dunno. Does anyone else experience this? Dismissal of trauma triggers is exhausting—and getting blamed for everything as well.
Thank you for letting me rant. I really hate PTSD sometimes. | ptsd |
Lately my ROCD has been getting pretty bad and now it's effecting my relationship. My girlfriend is afraid she's hurting me because I'm always so scared that I'm not enough for her or that she secretly doesn't love me. I don't want her to feel that way and I want to get better for myself and our future. Do you have any tips or advice that could help me before I see my therapist next week? Thank you. | OCD |
I am currently in college and over the past 2 semesters I've developed a strong fear that I'm accidentally plagiarizing someone else's work with every paper I write. I usually go through everything sentence by sentence and check it back against the original sources to make sure nothing is even remotely similar in terms of wording. Today, for the first time since this started, I submitted a paper without checking it over for plagiarism *at all*. The university has an automatic plagiarism-checker, and no plagiarism was detected in the paper I submitted according to their algorithm. Still, I am convinced that the paper contains plagiarism and I feel horribly guilty about it, as if I purposely took someone's work and passed it off as my own. I am trying very very hard to resist the urge to check it over again, which would take hours and would lead to a downward spiral. Any supportive comments would be helpful. Please, do not provide reassurance OR encourage me to check it over in any way. That would be very triggering for me.
Wondering if anyone can relate to this fear. | OCD |
Yeah, it's me again; I'm sorry.
I hear stories, I see people, and things. I try to talk to friends but I feel nothing. Lately all I get is frustrated and annoyed. I see cute animals on r/aww and I feel nothing.
My cat purrs and jumps in my lap, or just wants to snuggle, I don't feel anything. My friend notices I've been different so he asks what's wrong, I told him I appreciate it and it means a lot that he asked, but I felt nothing.
Even the one person I could feel love toward in my worst depression, I don't feel love for right now.
I've become numb again. | depression |
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