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Non-native English speaker here. I am a 30 year old man.
I am looking for a book, that discusses on how people with mental illness and lack of social intelligence/aptitude/skills can get into this whole dating world (or whatever you call it) and be successful.
In the dating world, there are a huge number of unwritten rules that people like us struggle with. You have to be told to understand and recognize signs of flirting, signs of mind-games, the appropriate responses to all these sort of things, how to form and maintain a relationship---there is just SO MANY things.
Can someone therefore suggest a book on how Aspergers can be successful in the romantic/dating world? | aspergers |
I just need to vent a little here,
I just completed my first round of publicly-funded group therapy, it was so basic I didn't get a thing out of it, it was just a review of everything that wasn't working. The people running the therapy group or so out of date it was laughable.
My second round starts tomorrow, and I found out after that I have I'm not allowed to take any more for 6 months. I asked if there was anything I could do in between, they said they would give me 6 therapy sessions a year. Six sessions a year.......
For five years I've had family support for my psychology, and I'm only now finding out how bad publicly-funded services are. You just see the jackass politician putting these limitations on, thinking that treating 12 patients at the same time as some kind of cost savings.
Last night I started yelling for help during a nightmare and it turns out I was actually yelling and it was so loud I actually woke myself up.
It's funny how some dreams are so easy to interpret. | ptsd |
What are your OCD symptoms like if you struggle with it? I have been struggling with OCD for the past 10 years and I've been able to manage it, but it is always there. I am sort of a perfectionist. Everything that I own has to look nice and not have any stains or scratches. I also sometimes go back and check to make sure the door is locked or a light is off after I already know that I locked the door or shut the light off. I have also struggled with intrusive thoughts of homicide. I bought my own car a month ago and it is the first car that I have ever owned so I am proud of myself. I own a 2018 Honda Civic and I've noticed some minor scratches and minor paint chippings. It bothers me because I don't know where they are coming from. I am a very cautious driver and I know that I didn't do anything to cause the scratches. When I look closely at other cars, I notice that every car has at least some scratches which makes me feel a little better. My car runs excellent, but I easily get bothered by scratches on the exterior. I'm doing my best to keep my car looking nice on the inside and the outside. I sort of take pride in everything I own and I do my best to keep everything looking nice and new. When something gets a scratch, a stain, or breaks that is when my OCD really kicks in. | aspergers |
Apologies if this topic is too insensitive, really, I just don't know how to process my emotions at the moment. In some points in my rape I climaxed, but I didn't want to, I really didn't. I felt more pain (physical and emotional), but in some points of my rape my body reacted to it, whilst my mind was conflicted to the reaction. I am now attempting to heal through just accepting my rape as just something to get off to. I don't know if it's normal, I am still traumatised, but forcing myself to be aroused through my rape is helping me cope quite a bit. Is this normal? I feel like trash for feeling this way, but I have no other coping mechanism that works for me. | ptsd |
Hey, first time poster here. Ever since I was 12, I suspected I had OCD. I’m 18 now and it’s only gotten worse. For years it was symmetry and then it switched to harm and intrusive thoughts (mostly scrupulously) to sexual orientation to now contamination.
The contamination is the biggest problem right now, it was brought about by the pandemic. Since February 2020, I have not ate or drink a single thing from outside/a restaurant. Everything I eat has to already be packaged up and homemade. My graduation cake was made at the store bakery and I cried because I couldn’t bring myself to eat it. My brain keeps telling me that if I eat anything made anywhere other than a factory or my own hands, I’m going get coronavirus and/or die. At the beginning of the pandemic I didn’t leave my house until June, but that was easier to do because nothing was going into my body.
Now the problem is that in December I have to go on a family trip and I have to eat there because we have reservations and I also wouldn’t be able to make my own food. I don’t know what to do, I can’t afford a therapist right now (especially one for ERP) and I’m scared out of my mind. The thought of even eating outside food makes me feel sick. I feel like I’m losing my mind and want to cry. I just want to live a normal life without missing out on things or having a panic attack all the time.
I’m sorry this was so long and incoherent but I’m panicking and I don’t know what to do. I feel if I go there and eat the food I’ll do it out of anxiety (I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and have had it much longer than I’ve had OCD so it usually “wins” over it) and have a panic attack later at night or when I’m alone. My OCD and anxiety always gets worse at night. I can’t talk to anyone about this because they just say things like “fight the power” as if it’s that easy and doubt I have OCD because I’m not constantly cleaning.
TL;DR: I have contamination OCD that revolves around (not eating outside) food. I have to go on vacation next month and will be forced to eat outside food. How can I prepare for this? I know it’s so late but I don’t have the money to do an exposure.
*My OCD is still undiagnosed but I have been researching for years trying to figure what was wrong with me and why I felt like I was a monster* | OCD |
Petite TRIGGER WARNING
please bear with me ): I’ve been silent about it forever but this morning I had to leave in a panic. Most of my ptsd comes from tape and sexual assault, in one particular instance I was asleep, and now whenever I’ve been waking up hearing this dog lick himself I get thrown into a different state of mind. I don’t know what to do…is this even something I bring up or should I keep working on this myself?
Any similar experience/mechanism to get through is welcomed. I really don’t know how to go about this; it feels like it’s not big deal but I know I’m invalidating myself..
Edit: shocked to see people still assume anyone with ptsd hasn’t taken the time to work on themselves. Maybe they should take the time to work on themselves…
Thanks y’all for commenting, I spoke to him about it and he was completely understanding. He doesn’t mind moving the dogs out of the room when we sleep; he’s wanted to move them out of his room anyway to keep the fur and doge smell out, so it all works out (: | ptsd |
Hello all! Thought I would summarize my personal experience with my first stimulant medication experience (Vyvanse 30mg) since I was looking into others before.
A little background, I was diagnosed a couple months ago at age 28(m), tried Strattera first which gave me awful side effects and no positive effects and was prescribed this medication yesterday. Took it first thing this morning a couple hours ago.
I feel so calm and contained, it's hard to describe, almost what I imagine Zen to be. I know this is how Stimulants are supposed to affect people with ADHD but wow, it's like normally I have a uncontrollable flow of thoughts and even need to exert energy in my body like move my limbs fast or fidget or idk DO something.
But right now, it's like I'm content just ...being. just existing. Like I don't feel like I need to immediately pull out my phone for stimulation or think about a bunch of things with one thought leading into another.
It's quiet in my mind... Almost like how I felt when I've meditated before. My mind is clear. I tried reading some and normally I feel the need to almost look over all the words before I read them and lose track mid sentence but now Im fine just looking at one word at a time.
Is this what focus is? Is this actually how NTs exist? It's so nice and calm and I can think about what I want.
Even when I'm moving my body feels relaxed and I feel really, idk like chill. But my mind doesn't feel cloudy at all like when I've felt relaxed in the past on something like cannabis.
Also just took a quick trip to the store and it was the strangest feeling. Normally I would be super distracted and look at like a million things even if they aren't that interesting but I couldn't help it. But this time... Idk its like I wasn't really interested in most of the stuff but at the same time is WASNT BORED. I never knew most people could be somewhere with nothing interesting and be totally fine, be totally happy just existing and not needing stimulation.
Will give updates, so far no negative side effects but yeah I get it's day 1 and yeah I know it probably won't always feel like this cause of that first day euphoria. I'm just glad to be making progress on my mental health and feeling very happy.
I wish the best to all my fellow ADHDers and love you all. This Subreddit is a godsend as well. | ADHD |
This week I’ve taken all my meds so far (they kinda knock me the fuck out.. still not used to them, so it’s done a number on my sleeping schedule), got stuff done around the house and around town. My classes were mostly cancelled except one, and it got moved online. So I took the semester off, but, I enrolled in a program that teaches me how to code which would be useful for my field.
I don’t know, I know this isn’t entirely PTSD related but I’m very happy that this week is going okay. I was recently diagnosed and it’s showing me that my life can actually continue, and I just might be okay. | ptsd |
I've been incredibly depressed, and suicidal over the last 1.5 - 2 years. To a point where I couldn't breathe as if all my pain and grief manifested into reality and was crushing my lungs. I've never told it to anyone as I didn't want to burden anyone with the knowledge that I've tried to end myself multiple times (The only reason I'm still alive is because I am rational enough to realise how irrational I was being.)
A couple of days I got drunk after a long time, and I finally got that drunken courage to tell it to someone in my life. 3 to be precise (1 didn't see the message until I sobered up, and I lost all the courage and played it off as a joke). But the other 2, they were helpful beyond words. Someone i could finally tell that I nearly threw myself of a train, and tried to slit my wrists. Someone I could tell that I cry myself to sleep almost every day.
It's been 4 days or so since that day, and i haven't tried to kill myself nor cried. I've also been breathing better.
I wanted to thank them, they are beautiful souls who I will be thankful for till the end of my life no matter what. | depression |
I’m new into treatment I wouldn’t say they’ve gotten better on a normal basis but I feel like during my period they my intrusive thoughts are on steroids, they’re just so so so much more extreme , and they’re already extreme to begin with. They’re more “violent” i guess you could say. I mean I’m not a violent person but For example I was in 7/11 and I just looked up and boom I imagined myself just freaking out kicking screaming and the ambulance coming with the cops the whole nine . I was so absorbed in it the 2 cashiers yelled “MAaM NEXT” . Again I’m
New to OCD , I didn’t even realize what OCD actually was until I was officially diagnosed a couple months ago , but I mean it makes total sense now. Anyone relate | OCD |
I dont want to spend my money on TDHA training books that are just marketing on not really what im looking for. I found this community and i thought thay could be a good idea to tell others the experience from books and to share the pdfs.
Id like to find a book to train my memory, my space memory ,my capacity to learn and practice the steps of any activity, my calm etc... | ADHD |
So recently I got diagnosed with adhd and was prescribed 40mg Strattera. My psychiatrist said take it in the morning but I’m I have issues getting up early. I’m usually up around 10am~noonish. Idk I have a bad sleep schedule and sometime I skip breakfast and lunch I usually eat around 3~4pm. I’m trying to fix everything sleep and eating schedule. I’ve been trying to wake up early to eat a bagel but I usually just skip it. Would it be bad to take it later than morning or on an empty stomach? | ADHD |
I have litterally nothing else to do. I live with my parents and don't want to contaminate them so whatever wikipedia/youtube/weird reddit thread your adhd brain made you fall into, my adhd brain wants some of it too. I could use some hyperfocus on something silly instead of fixating on my impending doom. | ADHD |
Im at a weird point with my depression, it almost felt like I got through it for a while but I didn’t. Cause it just lingers behind you like your shadow, it feels like it will never stop following you. I’m suicidal almost every day but I know I’ll never do it cause I have a family and people I love. I don’t know. I just want someone to tell it’s okay sometimes but it feels like they just look the other way. That’s how it feel in my head anyway. I’m scared everyone is gonna leave me. I’m scared to be alone. | depression |
I've never had this issue come up before - I always wondered what agoraphobics feel - but I'm starting to get a hellava lot of anxiety thinking about going outside and Absolutely about crossing the street.
I can walk on my block but...
I feel unsafe.
I think it's because my partner of 2 years was my foundation (I have no family...I do but they are the reason I am this way so they are no longer in my life) and we split a few weeks ago so now my whole life is shaky.
'If I couldn't rely on him, what can I rely on' sort of mentality I think is the underlier of it all even though I'm not actively thinking about that when I'm thinking about venturing outside.
It just kind of goes black in my brain and I feel so small and the world is so big with endless possibilities.
Someone could, dare I say it, Talk to me on the street.
When I say it or write it out or type it out, it seems ridiculous but here I am, relying on the lorazepam.
I wish I could go back to drinking...cover it all up. But now those 20 years are behind me. I guess I have to keep moving forward but it just seems to be one thing after another that's triggering and terrifying.
Thanks for letting me rant.
​
Edit: the only thing that helps is any of Hank Green's podcasts. For some reason, his stuff makes me feel like I'm not alone. | ptsd |
Hey guys, OCD has honestly really taken a toll on my mental health recently, it started with a DPDR episode that I never thought I’d get out of, and though I seem to be coming out of that, I’m having worse OCD compulsions than I ever thought possible. If anyone has any med recommendations or even just advice, I’d love to know. I’ve been honestly at a low point recently. | OCD |
because my dad walked in my room with a dirty towel and it touched the floor and five seconds later my sister came thru my bathroom door (jack and Jill type bathroom) and touched the doorknobs and proceeded to enter my closet and touched all my clothes just to get toilet paper. And then my dad went down stairs (to probably wash his hands) and then came upstairs and sat on my bed like his clothes didn’t touch the dirty towel and so now I have someones ball sweat cells on my bed where I put my face on :( and I have someone who touched a doorknob right after they just touched their genitals and now their genital cells are on my clothes helpppp I’ve been stuck in this loop for 30 minutes and I’ve stood still doing nothing | OCD |
Most of the narrative around OCD is that people with OCD do their compulsions to reduce anxiety. This never made sense to me because I never think to myself “I am making sure the toilet is done flushing because I want to stop being scared.” Instead I think to myself “I am making sure the toilet is done flushing because I don’t want to flood the house.” Or “I am making sure I didn’t make out with this person because I don’t want to be a cheater.” Or “I am making sure this person I talked to about sexual things was over 18 because I do not want to be a groomer.”
I have been diagnosed with OCD and have been getting treatment for years and no therapist has understood. Because of this treatment has been mostly ineffective for me. Because they say in ERP “just wait for the anxious feeling to pass.” Or “live with the uncertainty.” Neither seem valuable to me because neither are my concern.
I don’t care about the anxious feeling. I am not uncertain at all about what I need to do or what might happen. I care about the *moral consequences* of neglecting my problems. Thus Anxiety reduction has never been my goal. Hence the normal ERP narrative makes no sense to me.
Can anyone else relate? What do you think? | OCD |
Hi.
I've been dealing with depression nearly all of my life and in that time I've learned how to manage by and large. Does anyone else spend inordinate amounts of energy trying to make others feel better about themselves because you don't want anyone else to feel the way you do about yourself? If anyone else understands or feels the same, let me know... | depression |
There's Real Me, and there's Work Me.
Work Me clocks in 5 minutes early every shift and usually clocks out 10 minutes late. Work Me has received numerous performance-based compliments and people always tell her how great she is at customer service. Work Me is extroverted, loud, and funny. coworkers, managers, and customers all love her. Work Me has trained new employees and serves as a role model for current employees. Work Me has a picture-perfect life: brand-new car, great relationship with her parents, an awesome mentor who works at the local sheriff's office and takes her on ride-alongs for fun, and she lives in her dad's 1200-square foot furnished basement...it's like an apartment down there. Work Me has tons of friends that she hangs out with after every shift and a cute athlete boyfriend. Work Me gets straight-A's and wants to go into business at the corporate level after she graduates high school.
Then there's Real Me. Real Me comes home from work every night and cries herself to sleep, if she can get to sleep at all. Real Me has vivid nightmares almost every night. Real Me hasn't eaten in 3 days...she's too stressed to be hungry. Real Me has dropped 8 pounds in the last week, and her work clothes keep falling off her. Real Me keeps to herself...she has plenty of people who want to be her friend, quite a few even want to date her, but she's pushed them all away. People who get too close to Real Me always end up getting hurt. Real Me manually switched off the headlights of her brand-new car the other night and sped down the most winding and dangerous road in the county.....she hoped she'd crash and die but she didn't. Real Me also attempted suicide by overdose when she was 15, survived, and every day she wishes she hadn't. Real Me is several days behind on her homework and is cheating her way through her senior year of high school. Real Me was abused all her life by her mother who finally kicked her out on the street when she turned 18. Real Me now lives with her father and his girlfriend...neither of whom like her very much. Real Me did in fact have a mentor at the sheriff's office...and she ruined his career years ago after leaking his personal texts while she was drunk. It gets worse...recently Real Me found out that she is the spitting image of her mentor's high school girlfriend who killed herself when she was 16. Real Me now spends her free time researching how to obtain a firearm...Real Me doesn't want to be here anymore.
I guess this is a cry for help. | depression |
I was recently diagnosed with OCD and I’ve been researching it. I feel like I can relate to more than one type of ocd. Anyone else feel this way? | OCD |
Send me a message ! And we can talk if you’re going through a harsh time. | ptsd |
Any lawyers out here who struggles a lot? I have bad memory, no organizational skills, experiences brain fog, and have severe anxiety.
I recently resigned from my government position because I'm inefficient and I needed a clean slate. I got a job offer in a private firm and will start by next month. Honestly, I am very anxious and scared. I know my symptoms will come out eventually and mess things up. I guess my question is, how do you cope up? What specific role can we really excel? Our profession requires consistency, self-confidence, good memory, we read thousands of documents on a daily basis, we argue in public, I don't know, generally everything that is in contrast with having ADHD.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Thank you very much. | ADHD |
Hello, fellow sufferer of contamination OCD here.
I have always wanted a partner since I have been little but my worsening mental health has given me lots of setbacks. Now that i'm feeling a bit better I was looking to find a girl to date but I am filled with uncertainty. I feel really concerned because not only am I lacking in romantic experience but I also have the OCD stuff that will be off-putting to some people.
Has anyone managed to get a successful relationship while dealing with OCD?
Would someone one be willing to put up with some of my weird habits like frequent hand washes or showers?
Should I treat the OCD till its almost gone before attempting to date?
Since this is a fairly impactful thing in my life should I mention it early on? | OCD |
I’m in my early 20s and I met this guy last year and I feel like he’s the love of my life. A week or so ago I had a thought about whether or not I like him and ever since then I’ve been questioning how attracted I am to him and now I feel less attracted. How can I quiet this down and what should I do? | OCD |
I can't start anything until I have completed all of my compulsions. If I like a post on social media, I will have to go back and unlike it because my ocd tells me to.
It's so frustrating because I feel like I can't do anything anymore. I really want to start a new podcast, but I obviously can't do that without feeling an extreme amount of anxiety. I've tried to get all of the compulsions done so I can finally start it, but there are way to many of them. Even if get them all done, it's never enough because it doesn't feel just right. I'm stuck in this never ending loop and I'm so tired. I've tried to take back control and it's the hardest thing ever. It genuinely feels impossible. | OCD |
I am so severely depressed. I’m lost and hopeless and heartbroken by life. I feel like I’m going insane I genuinely cannot do this anymore.
I live a life I don’t want, living by what my family wants, their expectations and exactly by their rules.
I am not allowed to leave the house or hang out with friends unless my parents are in the mood to let me go.
I wasn’t allowed to have a job until recently so now all I do is go to work, do my online classes, and stay at home 24/7. I’m not even allowed to leave and have any sort of time alone at all, or get a cup of coffee, or drive and sort my thoughts out.
I’m repressing a huge part of who I am because my parents and family will never accept me.
Everyday feels like a battle to survive when in reality I don’t even want to be here. I think about dying all the time, how it’ll end my suffering and I’ll finally be at peace, at least with god I won’t have any expectations but to exist.
I’m 20 years old and I’m sick and tired of waiting for my life to start. I can’t even save up money and move out because my parents will only ever allow me to move out after marriage.
I can’t talk to a therapist because my family is strongly against it. I can’t get prescribed any medication for my depression or debilitating anxiety because my parents are also against it.
I used to have friends come over and distract me, but we moved 35 mins away to another city and now no one has the time to come over. It’s like I’m isolated in my own prison.
I just can’t do this anymore, everyday I wake up wishing I hadn’t. If I’m not feeling the crushing weight of the depression, I’m constantly waiting for something bad to happen because of my anxiety. I never ever feel comfortable or can relax, I’m always alert and on edge.
I’m sorry for the long text, I’m just over here crying writing all this out. My mind feels so blank and numb and life feels so pointless I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. If I’m not in mental/emotional pain, I’m in physical pain with headaches and what I only think as my mental health manifesting as physical symptoms. Idk what to do I really can’t take another day of this. I just want some advice, or idek.
I fear for my mental and cognitive health because I know this depression and anxiety is not good for it but I can’t even medicate it, what if I just go crazy because of it? | depression |
I think I have OCD, I have intrusive thoughts, I obsess over things, I am anxious all the time, but mainly the intrusive thoughts, they went away for a bit but they are coming back, I can't take it, I need help but no one in my family believes me. I feel like a shit person and I hate this I don't know what to do | OCD |
So I checked an email I don’t regularly use and saw that I got some weird emails. There was a file attached and I didn’t click it. The most I did was copy-and-paste the email address it was sent by and put into the “search mail”. There was like five emails all like this. Obvious scams and google even disabled the files that were attached because of viruses.
I ended up going through every email that looked similar and reported them all individually for spam. I emptied out my spam folder too.
Once I did that, I ran my Malwarebytes program and it said nothing was detected.
I feel like I should be safe, but I’m not super techy. I didn’t go on any linked sites or downloaded the attached files, I simply went into each email and reported them all.
Honestly, this is just stressful because I didn’t download anything, or click any links. The most I did was copy-paste the email that sent it into my “gmail search” bar.
I’ve ran a virus check on my computer and it says nothing was found. But my brain is stuck and won’t let this go even all I did was go through one by one and report them all for spam. | OCD |
Sometimes I think that despite the media best and most misguided intentions, public perception about the spectrum is in an all time low and Chan's situation will only bring tremendously negative attention to the condition.
I'm seriously worried.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, Chris Chan is a notorious internet personality, particularly in 4Chan and Reddit. Creator of many low profile memes, most famously Sonichu. Both these works and Chris' condition earned her unwanted attention and was made a lolcow by the usual suspects of trolldom. I always lamented how everyone treated her, but after the rumors spread out that she (WARNING: THE FOLLOWING SPOILER CAN BE EXTREMELY SENSITIVE TO SOME. DISCRETION ADVISED) >!raped her Alzheimer, bed ridden mother and apparently bragged about it!< I think she now do deserves the hate —if true, but will drag us all down with her. | aspergers |
I don't understand what I'm supposed to do. This shit is impossible. How the fuck I'm supposed to cultivate friendships. This is so fucking stupid. I have zero people I trust and can depend on. I need help getting over my trauma, depression, and anxiety. But guess what's getting in the way of me having the support system I need? My fucking trauma, depression, anxiety. This is fucking stupid and impossible. I am semisorry for the language, I'm just angry, frustrated and in the middle of yet another mental breakdown 👍🏿 (yes I'm seeing a therapist) | depression |
I ran out of meds for one of my prescriptions the other day, I wasn't paying attention and didn't have any refills left. I had one left so I split it in half so I could use it for two more days (I go meet with my doctor tomorrow).
So far nothing too bad OCD wise. I generally tolerate withdrawal pretty poorly. I've been having nightmares and generally been cranky, but I should be okay tomorrow.
I'm curious what happens to you guys though, how soon problems start showing up and all that. | OCD |
EDIT: meant quetiapine in the title, my bad
Hello, I've recently had some problems with what I thing is OCD (I've been having a ridiculous fear of backing up/saving everything so I can "experience it later" or "remember how my experience with set thing was" which makes no fucking sense but I've determined it to be something like OCD from a bit of research, that fear also caused me to have multiple panic attacks a day in the last 5 days) and in the last couple of months it's been getting a lot worse. It went from existing, but not affecting my life and only having such thoughts about reasonable things (or at least considered reasonable by my as of now fucked mind) to causing me so much mental trouble to the point that I cannot play a video game without having to screenshot ever single opponent's name. The thing is that in those last months I've been taking quetiapine pills to help with sleep, anxiety and depression (I don't know this myself, that's why my doctor told me) and the amount of pills that I take has increased every 1-2 months or so. Tonight, I thought that I've had enough of this and I wanted to determine what caused this and how I can stop it, being completely unable to contact my doctor considering that they're on vacation until the 21st and I thought "hm, if these meds are supposed to help with sadness and mental illness, then they might be able to help with this too, but wait, I've been having most of these panic attacks at night when I should go to sleep?" and I googled if it does anything related to OCD and found some results saying that quetiapine induces OCD symptoms. So yeah, does it cause OCD and should I be worried about taking them? I talk to my doctor until the 21st and I'm just looking for a damn answer considering that I've been living through hell for the last 5 days or so.
TLDR: I've been having horrible OCD symptoms that have seemingly gotten a lot lot worse in the last couple of months, I looked up what some quetiapine pills my doctor told me to take daily for the last couple of months did and they apparently induce OCD symptoms, is that true? | OCD |
(18M) For the past year I get really bad intrusive thoughts about things I don’t not agree with.
Recently they have gotten very bad and sexual involving my family. Basically these things happen.
1. I’ll be fantasising about a girl or something and getting hard and my brain will put an image of a family
member in and then I panic thinking I’ve got a boner over my family member
2. Then I get random sexual intrusive thoughts about my family randomly and these can be accompanied by a feeling down there. This sends me into immense distress and the more distress I get the more the thoughts come
3. This results in me feeling like I have to ‘figure out’ these feelings or ‘make it right’ which results in me writing down ‘This is not me’ or ‘I don’t not want this’ or I will pace up and down. This process can go on for hours and happens multiple times a day it’s awful
4. I know have no enjoyment in my sexuality because it’s just rooted in shame and every time I masturbate my brain will try to tell me I masturbated to one of these unacceptable thoughts
5. It sometimes feels like ‘what if I like these thoughts?’ And am just suppressing them which is just awful to think about
6. In recent weeks I’ve now become scared to look at children in case I get this feeling down there. I can’t talk to anyone about this as they’d think I’m insane but I don’t want any of these thoughts or feelings.
7. I’ve also had sexual dreams about things which just disgust me to even say and this has got to be a clear indicator that I like these thoughts as it means they are in my subconscious. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for those dreams but I DO NOT WANT THEM DREAMS.
Does this sound like OCD? I’ve always been told OCD is to do with being ordered and tidy in a compulsive way but I do feel like some of the ways I cope are compulsive like I compulsively need to debunk these thoughts to feel okay. I just need advice, I’m so tired and ashamed. | OCD |
I take Adderall XR and it works well, but I can’t get it consistently. Every month I have to skip a few days because the pharmacy doesn’t have it in stock. I’ve tried multiple pharmacies and lived in multiple states and this has always been an issue.
Does anyone else have this problem? Has anyone found a medication that’s more reliably available? | ADHD |
Biggest challenge is I want to do everything but I get so overwhelmed with the thought of what I could do I don’t do anything as fully as I want to. Even if I make a schedule for myself I get bored and drop it. How do you guys handle personal schedules, goals and is there something that can help me really focus and stick to what I want to accomplish | ADHD |
and it’s partly my fault, because when I fill my pill organizer I make a mental note to inform my doctor I need a refill, then I forget. one time I realized I was out of pills and tomorrow I wouldn’t have it, the pharmacy was already closed. the next morning I basically camped outside of cvs till they opened, the employees were weirded out but I couldn’t go to work without it.
this time, when I spoke to my doctor I already asked her since I am low, I forgot I did that then I emailed her today, she said it should be all set, I call the cvs pharmacy, the automated system informs me it’s “too soon” pardon? I run out tomorrow. then I realized they need authorization for some reason? idk man I will never understand the us healthcare system, I’ve been on adderall for years and I don’t have any history of abusing drugs I am super responsible when it comes to meds. I am honestly so frustrated that every month something happens and getting the medication is such a struggle, add to that when you have adhd and you live in chaos and forgetfulness? I asked the person on the phone if cvs can remind me or at least tell me when they need some hoops to jump through like if they need me to ASK for a med I need for functioning that my doctor already sent the refill for if they could at least shoot me a text or call, she said no.
okay then. | ADHD |
Has anyone here developed a relationship with God while in the midst of OCD?
My OCD gets in the way of everything in life. It's preventing me from chasing my goals for I am CERTAIN something terrible is going to happen when I get there. At this point I don't know if its OCD or if I'm right, and the Universe is just warning me not to chase these dreams of mine.
Anyway, does anyone here suffer from OCD and have a relationship with "God"?
I am currently trying to develop a relationship with whoever that is (I grew up Catholic, but I currently just believe in a higher power).
When developing this relationship, I tend to pray over and over again, thinking it wasn't good enough or "correct."
How does one dive into spirituality while having OCD? Is it possible? Has it been done? How do I know when I get there? | OCD |
-I'm a lonely, 30 year old guy who suffers from a chronic health condition nobody believes, despite my efforts to learn about proof of it.
- I have zero talents or intelligence, having previously been fired from every job I've been in, including voluntary ones, for being incompetent.
- My family once had me confined to a mental hospital, for madness and claiming I was pretending to be ill, under the guise of claiming I was suicidal. The experience has remained on my records ever since, and is the first thing anyone sees - in other words every doctor I see thinks I'm mad.
- I have never found love, not even a boyfriend. I'm nerdy, ugly, physically weak and incredibly stupid.
- It took me my entire lifetime just to begin to learn to tie my shoes. Whenever I try to learn something I can call a hobby, I fail at it for years. People who try to teach me frequently give up because I'm too hopeless. Absolute beginners and people much much younger than me are better than me at everything I do.
- I live in total fear of my health. I can't even sleep, bathe or eat when I wish for my symptoms.
- The one thing I thought I did right in my life - a time working in Zambia before my health turned - I later learned not only was I stupidly bad at it, but they'll never allow me back if my health does improve.
- I only have a single friend left. Everyone else has given up on me.
- From the start I'm an extremely weird person. A gay, furry nerd who acts like a child, enjoys childish things and can't do anything on his own.
There's literally nothing in my life to be happy about. Every waking moment of my life is taken up by failure, illness and loneliness. I genuinely have nothing to live for, but I also don't want to stop living. If just one person believed in me about my health, maybe I could start changing things myself, but they don't, therefore I'm bedbound for god knows how many more years until my prince comes. I just continue to browse my phone, lying down, and hoping for a miracle. Until then I'm fated to suffer alone, die alone and only be remembered for being a wasteful life. | depression |
Okay so this has been happening my whole life but I'm not sure if it's is a common thing because I haven't really thought much of it.
Basically when I talk to people I always need extra support to fully comprehend what they're saying. For example, pre COVID I relied heavily on lip reading so I would combine that with what I'm hearing to fully understand what they're saying. But with masks, I can't do that because I can't read lips so I have to picture the words and sort of read along in my head to follow along.
I remember I explained this to a friend once when I told them that I hated talking on the phone bc it's very hard for me and they just called me weird so I guess it's not a normal thing then lol. That's also a really big factor for why I can't function in big groups bc I just can't keep with the conversation.
I remember when I worked as a teacher, I would have these meetings with my coach and she'd just keep talking and talking and then she'd go "does that make sense" and I'm like yeah but it didn't because I was still processing everything she said like I wasn't done reading in my head. So she'd ask me to repeat what she said or she'd ask me a question and I wouldn't be able to answer because I was done hearing but like I wasn't done listening.
It's so exhausting because I have to attend to every single conversation like my life depends on it or I'll miss something | aspergers |
Does anyone else feel like stuffs been overwhelmin lately?
Im 19 and already everything seems overwhelming, ive been depressed n anxiety ridden for about 4 years but the last 2 were n still is horrible.
I feel like i should just drop out n work a min wage job for a year or sthing so i can figure stuff out plus go to a therapist or sthing.
Idk if its the right move or not but im strugglin everyday just to stay alive | depression |
With PTSD, I have self destructive thoughts of being abandoned, discarded, unwanted and not deserving of love. This is a result of being cheated on multiple times. And I have a warped belief that men would only want to be with me with their own agenda. But last Wednesday, an old friend came over to just listen and watch me cry. Last night, another came with chips, chocolate ice cream and gifted me a book. And today, I had a surprise delivery of vegan donuts and a burrito on my doorstep. Maybe I am loved. | ptsd |
I’ll be minding my own business trying to live life but then I’ll have the urge to question whether I want to be miserable and push away people around me. And my mind will make it seem like this big philosophical question, that I will actually contemplate every angle. Like it’s a simple answer and I honestly feel dumb for spending so much time on it. But part of me wants to keep doing it. Is this just me being dumb and self destructive or is this an ocd thing? | OCD |
I just want to die. I don’t wanna live like this the rest of my life. I’m so young. I’m a weak person and can’t handle the intrusive and obsessive thoughts.
I’m homeschooled, I have no friends IRL.
I get no social interaction, other than my family that lives with me. I crave to be with people but once I am, I just wanna be alone and can’t take it. I have such intense social anxiety. Especially with covid. All of my friends are online, and I love them so much. Maybe too much. I have a really hard time with obsessing over people. I hate myself for it. I’m so clingy, and always on my phone because I don’t want to reply late ever. The only thing that makes me happy is talking to them.
Last summer, I was obsessed with my best friend, (online best friend of course) and all I wanted to do was talk to her and FaceTime her. I started watching the shows she watched, the YouTubers she watched, it’s like I formed my entire personality around her. We fell out for about a month and all of the obsessions stopped.
We are close again, we even met IRL.
(she came to my state just to see me.)
yet I have no obsessions with her and we barely call or anything anymore. Though, now, I feel myself getting the same way I was with her, with another one of my friends. That I also happen to have a crush on. I don’t want to be like this, I feel obsessive and clingy and like I have no control. I get really clingy, and then once I am, I’m afraid to *not* be, because then they may think that I don’t wanna talk to them anymore, because the way I talk would be different. It’s also the only thing that’s comforting to me, is talking to them. I also have obsessive checking with that, I swipe and swipe and swipe until I feel like my phones gonna explode or break or glitch and die and I won’t be able to talk to them. I’m just so paranoid.
I can barely eat, every time I try to eat, without watching a show or something, everything that I’ve ever done wrong and everything that’s happening in my life just decides to pop into my brain and I get nauseous and lose my appetite.
The intrusive thoughts make me seriously want to kill myself and make me hate being alive. I can’t make them stop. I feel like all I can do is sit and rot away. I have no motivation to do anything other than that. I have no energy ever and I sleep so much. Sleeping is the only thing that makes it all go away for awhile. Unless I start having these vivid dreams about my life goals and what I want to do and be in life and who I want to be with in life it just makes me so sad. Even though they’re happy dreams, I’m just afraid nothing will go how I want it in life and my life is pointless. Especially if I have to think like this forever.
I hate how I look, I hate my skin, my weight, my voice, there’s just nothing i’m happy with. I stutter when i speak, i forget words and say things wrong and it’s funny to my family but i can’t take it anymore i just feel like i’m gonna forget everything and how to speak.
on the other hand, i remember everything about pretty much anyone i’ve ever met. which is not a good thing to me. in some ways i guess it can be, but i don’t wanna remember things about people that i wish were never in my life and i can’t forget anything. all i do is think. i wish i was different. :( | OCD |
I think I may have contamination OCD and it’s gotten to the point where I can’t make myself eat and if I do actually eat to stop the pain and hunger, I spend the next day counting the hours and constantly wondering if it poisoned me. It’s literally making me wonder if my mother wants to poison and hurt me because she makes me eat. It’s extended to water now and I freak out about e. coli every time I drink. I know I need to eat and drink and that my mother doesn’t want to hurt me, but it’s like half of my brain just won’t listen to the other half. I’m just too scared to eat and drink anymore and I feel like I’m going insane. Do I have OCD? I do have a therapist and I’m going to ask her tomorrow. | OCD |
I don't know what the point is in "fighting" anymore.
I don't want to assume anything about others' experiences, but I guess my assumption is that for lots of people at least, OCD is a problem because it *gets in the way* of the person living life the way they want to, enjoying life, achieving their goals, something like that. And people seem to say that the only way to get better is to just take the anxiety, bear the suffering. But life is just suffering anyway?
I was to no longer spend most of the time doing routines or worrying or whatever, then there'd still be the fact that I don't feel anything anymore (not emotionally at least) other than varying levels of anxiety and lowness. I don't enjoy anything anymore or want anything, and I have no good qualities or anything to offer anyone or anything anyway. I don't think I'm suicidal, but fed up of consciousness.
The only reason I'm awake is because I can't be asleep all the time, and the entire time I am awake I'm a burden and waste of space. If I didn't live with my parents, I imagine I'd be drunk or high all the time, or self-harming in some attempt to find relief that probably doesn't exist, relief that medication or therapy or life in general don't seem to offer.
Sorry, I don't know what I'm trying to say, just moaning as usual and bringing everyone down. Just can't stand existing and don't see what the point is. Sorry for wasting time
Maybe some people are just not supposed to get better | OCD |
I made a post yesterday and people pointed out in the comments that my symptoms align more with CPTSD then Autism. What do I do now?
Is it bad to not get therapy and try to just get over it? I'm high functioning, in uni, I feel okay. But I have 0 friends, I am a bit paranoid, I have never touched a girl, and I have some sort of panic attacks every once in a while (that I can hide).
I'm climbing out of the pit after a decade and I'm getting back to normalcy though. Will a diagnosis matter? I was diagnosed at 5 with Autism and I'm glad I knew about that. | aspergers |
Hello! My time management is abysmal. Please help me by sharing what smartwatch and apps help you stay on track. Thanks 😊 | aspergers |
Every time I have a personal phone call or take an embarrassing picture or write a personal note to myself, or anything like that I become extremely anxious and starts obsessively checking ALL my social media accounts repeatedly a million time in the fear that I posted it somewhere by mistake or that I was streaming or whatever. I would literally keep refreshing the pages until my anxiety goes away. It’s very tiring and time consuming because it’s even includes my email and my university websites and anything that comes to my mind at that time.
For that reason I deleted so many apps on my phone and I’m always avoiding taking any pictures or write something personal or saying something personal on a phone call. I also turn off my phone completely and put far away from me when I’m planning to say a secret or something to someone in person.
It really helps when I ask a friend to check my social media accounts for me and tells me taht everything is fine. But...
Does anyone have the same problem?? | OCD |
Hi everyone, before i dive into this, i just want to put it out there that i am not looking for a diagnosis. That is something that I completely understand must be handled professionally to get a solid answer, but I’m here mostly out of curiosity before I determine if getting “checked out” is 100% necessary for me.
Recently, I was talking to my boyfriend about little “quirks” we have or just weird things we do for no reason. Mine, for example, were that:
1) I count everything. Absolutely everything. And there’s no reasoning for why I’m counting things, I just do. When I’m driving, especially, I count the “parts” of all the signs, buildings, cars that I see. And i group them into little categories that don’t really have any meaning.
2) I am a musician, so for my fellow musicians out there, I solfege just about everything I hear. And i won’t stop doing it in my head until I know it’s perfect. It just doesn’t feel right to move on until I know I’ve got it 100%.
3) I’ll fixate on things for hours at a time. Last year, I wanted to learn the piano. I ended up sitting at the piano for about 6 hours a day without realizing that it had been that long. I wasn’t forcing myself or anything, I just got hyper focused on it I think. And I do that in a lot of other activities as well.
4) Recently I noticed that I can’t focus too well unless I’m moving. Today for example, I was trying to study and I couldn’t concentrate for longer than a couple minutes. I then started rocking back and forth while sitting (this is all completely involuntary and didn’t notice i was doing this until later on), and ended up being glued to my notes for about 30 minutes.
5) I often worry about things that I know I have 100% done. To elaborate a bit on this, one thing I do all the time is that I worry that I didn’t turn off my hair straightener even though I remember for a fact that I did. This happens CONSTANTLY and i remember doing things like this since I was kid. When I was younger, I would watch my brother like a hawk because I was scared that something would happen and it would be my fault if it did.
6) I have this “skin picking” type thing. I’m not entirely sure how to describe it, but whenever Im anxious or nervous, I pick at the skin right under my fingernails. And I play with my earrings or earlobe. It drives me crazy because I can’t stop doing it.
Does anybody else have things that they do that are similar? I’m curious if this has anything to do with OCD. All of my dads siblings have been diagnosed with it, so I’m mostly curious. | OCD |
Its like a weed-out process for autistics. "Do you dislike small talk?" If you answer honestly on too many of those, your application gets tossed I presume. | aspergers |
The ability to feel human connections has escaped me. This wasn’t always so. I used to be the kind of person who was the life of the party, who could have a conversation with almost anybody and even get “social highs”.
Well, now I view everyone as an antagonism. I have no excitement or thrill of getting to know people. I don’t even feel like I have a personality or an identity anymore , just sort of a lifeless breathing thing.
My husband says “it’s easy to make friends - people are everywhere!” but what if you lost so much of who you are, socializing begins to feel more like a chore for you than anything else ? It does not feel natural . I feel an imaginary wall between myself and people . I’ve been depressed long enough to stop pretending and I know that makes me appear occasionally more awkward or “cold” but I just don’t know anymore.
I’m 27 years old- am I suppose to live the rest of my life without any friends? In a way, I don’t even think I could have them as empty and ghostly as I feel- it seems pointless. | depression |
Hey
I have read the book by Ashlee Vance called Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX, and the Quest for a Fantastic Future, and it is a very detailed book about his life struggles. There is also a good documentary called revenge of the electric car which shows Musk in Tesla's early years. Walter Isaacson is also writing a book about Musk but I don't think it will become better then Vance book. Now that Elon as admitted he has asperger, Do you think that is a good or bad thing for the asperger community? | aspergers |
TW: Sexual Assault
Recently I started thinking a lot about my childhood and uncovered some repressed memories. These memories include being sexually assaulted by my older siblings. I never had a problem with OCD(not consciously anyways) until I realized what exactly happened in my childhood. I have been suffering from POCD for around 4 months now and every time I see a child I can’t even look at them out of fear and disgust. I also came very close to cutting myself out of guilt. My question is will this ever go away, or am I stuck like this forever?
Also I have been suffering from HOCD and can’t look at men without thinking them in a way that I would never normally do. This also sprang up around the same time as my POCD. I have absolutely no control over it, and it makes me so ashamed. I can barely watch movies because every time the male lead comes on screen it makes me question if he’s attractive or not and I just spiral. Could these problems be popping up now because of my uncovered childhood memories? | OCD |
Man fuck my life. Ive been living in a constant cycle of neverending pain. And thanks to the toxicity of my household, I've been lashing out more often when I get mad at people who didn't do anything wrong. I get jealous cause people are lucky or have a girlfriend. I'm just broken and I don't know what to do in my life. I've been eatting breakfast late at 11 am, not obeying my parents instructions, and I don't have the mood to do anything. People tell me to find something new but I just, can't. I've broke up 3 times online, been struggling in axie (500 trophies) with so many losses, and the streets and pressure I'm my house. And on top of all of that, I've been thinking of suicidal thoughts.
Speaking of my household, imagine if there were 3 CCTV cameras in your house + parental controls on my phone + very tight schedule of 9 subjects in 2 weeks which leads to so much school work and stress + me not having the mood to do anything + a mom who can say words like stupid and demon regularly when I don't follow her commands properly.
Yeah, that my household, and I've been like this ever since the pandemic started. It's painful, and I'm trying my best to control myself due to me having anger issues. I can't get help and I can't get therapy..
I'm just a useless fucking person..
I'm trying my best to endure this..
I wanna fucking die..
I wanna shoot myself..
So I can end my pain, my family's pain. | depression |
Hi. My name is Lapis- I'm 15 and I'm being tested for PTSD, Otherwise specified dissociative disorder, among other things.
I am still struggling to accept that I'm a survivor of childhood abuse. Its really, really hard to accept. So I thought sharing it on here would be useful. (Trigger warning, so please read with caution!! Will mention physical, sexual, and mental abuse.)
When I was a kid, both my parents were alcoholics. I cant remember most of the abuse but what I do remember is Verbal and physical abuse. I remember being in constant fear of being hurt, like walking on eggshells. When my mother finally became sober, my father only got worse. It eventually evolved into him abusing my other 2 sisters and my mother. My twin has no memory of this abuse, which worries me aswell.
This went on from the ages of 2-14. He has been on and off sober and it really fucks with me. I'm 15 now. I always have to question my safety and whether hes drunk again or not. The latest episode of his was when I was 14, and he ruined our vacation. I had to take care of him the entire time and wake up to him cussing out my mother the last night we were there.
I am also questioning s*xual abuse from a relative. Sometimes, i get memories of it. But, I'm thinking this is just my brain tricking me as I only started remembering In the past year.
I have been through other traumas aswell. I was sexually exploited online from the ages of 9-13, by dozens of men and woman. This has made me feel as though I am just an object, sometimes. I am still coming to terms with what the abuse online has done to me.
School trauma and relationship trauma are also prominent. But I won't go into those. They were very recent, however. My most recent trauma has been helping my girlfriend through her abusive home life.
Anyways...I guess that's my story. It's not everything, but sometimes I do question if it's enough to even be traumatized. Or to have OSDD/alters at all. So many people have gone through worse then me and it makes me feel terrible. Like I am overreacting to what has happened to me. Thank you for reading. | ptsd |
How can I be grey rock(assuming I'm getting attacked and manipulated) when I'm directly behind attacked? There's no time to get police. I'm speaking of past trauma. How am I supposed to go no contact with some gaslighting? It's already done the damage. It's already been manipulated. | ptsd |
Is it possible to have ADHD without being late to things chronically. But instead early as well as have a good long term memory. I pose this question as my friends believe (who have ADHD) have come under the assumption that I have it. Which I never gave much credence to but thought that I might as well get tested, until I found this video
[How I knew I had ADHD (predominately innatentive) 💡🤦♂️ Adult Diagnosis](https://youtu.be/wM05eFjsIUU)
And I can relate very strongly to the problems he had faced from childhood towards adulthood. Minus the chronic lateness and forgetfulness to the extent he has described. And instead am very early to things and am quite good at remembering thing off the top of my head. Any and all advice would be helpful, I have never related so strongly to something before.
Especially the “overly emotional, Unempathetic” bit
Any and all replies would be greatly appreciated | ADHD |
Hi everyone!
I often hear a lot about the effects of hypersensitivity, but not so much hyposensitivity. I'm curious to learn more, especially because I think this is something I struggle with.
If anyone has any personal experiences, stories, or resources/articles to share that would be very much appreciated!
As to why I'm asking: I'm currently undiagnosed, but believe I may be autistic and would like more information to compare my personal experiences to/gain insight as to why I may feel or do certain things.
Thanks again! :) | aspergers |
I met my best friend in 7th grade, and we are both 11th grade now. I had to move away at the end of seventh grade due to family issues, but we still kept in contact. Up until about a month ago, we would play games and watch anime together pretty much everyday. It was so fun to talk to him. He had ADHD, so I could just ask him questions and we would talk for hours without getting bored. He would always be the one to initiate contact, which is something I have trouble doing. He made me feel normal, and I developed feelings for him. I didn’t realize how I felt until he stopped talking to me for a week. I reached out to him and told him that it felt distant between us, and if he doesn’t feel like hanging out as much anymore, then I wouldn’t force him to. He said he didn’t mean to do that, and we basically talked about our issues, and how he also really appreciates me. I think I was the happiest I have ever been in my life that night. I cried for the first time in years, and he cried with me. Then we started hanging out a lot again. He skipped his martial arts practice just to be with me. This went on for about three days until I started to cry on the fourth when he didn’t invite me to talk after school. It was just a misunderstanding too. He forgot to tell me he was in the discord call. I told him what happened the next day, and how I didn’t want to guilt trip him to put up with me. He said it wasn’t like that at all, but then he stopped talking to me again. By this point, I was the unhappiest I have ever been in my life. It felt like there was knife in my heart, and I put up with it for a few days until I finally decided to get help. I went to the school counselor, and long story short, I told him I was probably going to kill myself that night. I guess he told my mom, and she took me to the doctor. We talked about a lot of stuff, but none of it really resonated with me. I would go home and just sleep. I stopped going to school and taking care of my basic needs. Then the school counselor knocked on my door, and came into my room. I forgot to mention this, but he’s a family friend, and pretty much my only other friend. He had a drink in one hand, and a vape in the other. He looked tired. I had never seen him like this, but it was strangely comforting. We talked for a long time, and before he left, we pinky promised that I wouldn’t try to kill myself for a month. I started to go to school again, but it just feels like I’m holding in tears all day until I can cry in my room. I’m failing all my classes, and everyone at school just ignores me. They always did, but it never really bothered me until now. I feel like I’ll never find another person like my friend anytime soon, and It’s all my fault. Now we’re at today. I’m not even sure if I’m autistic, but I resonate a lot with this sub, and felt this was probably the best place to put this. | aspergers |
currently crying while typing this out. undiagnosed. don't know if a lot of the things i do could just be a me thing or what.
even the smallest things feel so hard. doesnt matter how easy that thing may seem, if its hard to me then its hard. i need to put a lot of mental effort to make myself do that thing, so even when i do nothing at all, i still feel drained and stressed. (is this a common adhd thing?) maybe because my parents are extremely laid back, that's why they feel so hard. i grew up with my parents never teaching me anything or asking me to do things, so every chore i did in the house was just from initiative i guess. i don't have people to MAKE me do things. which is also a problem of mine..
i always disappoint the people around me, especially my parents. i don't fucking know why i'm like this. i want to change. i've been at rock bottom for more than a year now. all people see are my mistakes but i literally cannot go a day without shame and guilt. i know everything i have to do. i know BUT I STILL DO THE EXACT SAME MISTAKES. everyday i dream about the perfect person i want to be, every mistake i make, i regret 10 seconds after. i can't do the simplest shit, Im sick of it. i do think that all i need to do is try harder. i don't know if it's just all my fault because i can't get diagnosed. i know im a loser and i want to change but I HAVE NO IDEA WHY IM LIKE THIS. i feel like all my problems or troubles i brought upon myself and i have no right to ever feel like it's not my fault. procrastination, no self-control, impoulsivity, emotional dysregulation, these things are sabotaging my life.
people don't know what goes on in my mind though. all they see is a lazy, ungrateful, spoiled brat (which i am... i don't know. it's confusing) but i have alot of regret and guilt in my mind. i remember crying myself to sleep one day because of all the shame and guilt but then i proceed to not improve a single bit the next day. i never do the things i want myself to do. all the responsibilities. i cannot go a day without feeling like a failure.
sorry if it's all over the place. i can't think straight at all right now. this was supposed to be just one paragraph long but really wanted to let these things out. | ADHD |
Okay I know the title is a mouthful. So I'm staying in a victims of domestic violence shelter. So understandably all the women who are here are suffering greatly. I understand that. There is a woman here who acts just like my mother who abused me greatly. And I'm trying so so so hard to give her grace and compassion bc she's not my mom. And I know that.
She's a middle aged woman, and I'm honestly hoping she's not on reddit or reads this sub, but I digress.
This happened like 15 minutes ago. So one oof the rules in this shelter is that we are to wear our masks when out of our rooms. I'm very diligent about doing my part. I've never really seen this woman wear a mask. I came into the kitchen area up make myself a tea, and she came in after me. I simply asked, "hey, I don't mean to intrude, but it's there a reason why you don't wear a mask". I was honestly curious. It wasn't a jab.
She gets all huffy and was like talking about how other people in the building never wear masks. I realized that this was going badly and said, "it's okay you don't have to say anything. I'm really sorry I asked" but it was like a fuse had been lit. I'm not going to go much more into detail bc it's not about her.
This interaction sent me into a panic attack where I was pinching myself and pulling on my hair. I haven't had such a reaction to someone like this in a long long time. I'm not mad at her at all. I just wanna reiterate that again.
How do I cope when I am in close quarters with someone who is able to trigger me this way? Like I'm shaking and I just want to run from this place. | ptsd |
Would love some very honest open opinions from people out there (particularly females).
About Me
* 28 yrs
* Male
* Indian
* A full time worker
* Quite successful in life, not someone you'd expect to be troubled
* Not a drinker / person who goes out partying although I might drink a glass or two socially
* Pretty much always been single (had one or two dates fizzled out in a matter of days)
* Not into just getting in a relationship or plain old arranged marriage, I have built up a pretty kinky side (extended periods of loneliness have left me discovering ) and would like a commitment full of life and excitement
* I feel that I have a lot of love to give
* Wanting to be loved and cared for
* Considered writing a note so no one blames themselves if I ever decide on drastic steps, and it makes it easier for everyone
* It scares me that I am in a dark place like this
It's very hard for me to place the reasons into words right here and there is alot of backstory or context.
**In summary:**
* I haven't been able to find a girlfriend and don't have that many friends
* I have a lot of love to give
* I have a tinder account but there isn't anyone to swipe on or match with
* I can connect with new people easily and be cheerful
* I see no valid future where am useful
* I belong to a crazy family who raised me wrong and have crazy expectations:
>One believes that marriage is the only thing in life, the other believes owning your own home is the only thing in life (with no knowledge of mortgages)
>Always threatening one of them is about to die
>Primary language at home is screaming
>Comments by the mother is Service to parents will get you to heaven / otherwise you will get curses
I'm feeling extremely pained emotionally and am pretty lost in life... | depression |
I'm currently reading Helping you identify and understand autism masking by Emma Kendall and I have a question about it but I'm not sure if it's a stupid question or not. Apparently in the UK by 2022, Asperger's will be basically reclassified as Autism Spectrum Disorder which is good but what that does mean for people like me who are already diagnosed with Asperger's? Or does it change nothing? | aspergers |
I remember seeing a post a while back in this sub about the various characteristics that make things more engaging for an ADHD brain.
It make have been an acronym or just a list, but I remember that two of the items were "novel" and "urgent". i.e. an ADHD brain is more likely to be interested and motivated by something that is brand new, or something that is super urgent and needs your attention NOW.
There were other things on the list, and while I obviously know what sorts of things my brain finds engaging, I'd like to have the list handy for explaining ADHD to other people.
Thanks! | ADHD |
On April 28, 2020 I moved into my new place. May 17th, 2020 a big fire happened in the apartment above me and I lost everything. I had rented insurance so they replaced everything material. But I’m still mind fucked though. A false alarm happened in my new place last night and even though there was no fire..... I felt all the same feelings alllll over again.
Has anyone lost their home to a fire? How long did it take for you to get over it mentally? What helped you get over it? | ptsd |
I’ve been having nightmares every single night. I don’t how to make them stop and I’m desperate at this point | ptsd |
When I first got diagnosed I was prescribed dexamphetamine 5 mg twice a day. It changed my life for the better. I slowly increase distal to 10 mg twice a day. But overtime, I developed very severe muscle stiffness in my upper back and neck to a point where I could not work anymore. I then switched to methylphenidate which definitely has some effect, but makes me feel tired and sad. This week I realized I was not feeling excited about my work anymore, which is some thing that has never happened to me before. I cry at random times in the day. And I am fighting do not fall asleep a lot. This is not working for me. I missed a feeling I had when on dexamphetamine, but not the pain of course. What other options are left? I feel that my psychiatrist, especially here in the Netherlands, is so hesitant to describe different kinds of medications. Which medication gives me the same confidence and a level of energy, but does not cost is horrible side effects!
Any suggestions? | ADHD |
Hi everyone, it's been over a year now since my abusive relationship ended and there's someone I have feelings for. Because I was pretty certain he had feelings for me too, I decided to tell him and now we are seeing each other. He knows some of my history, so it's completely up to me how and when our relationship advances. Still, it's really scary being so vulnerable with someone after a lot of abuse and there's just not a lot of advice online for how to manage triggers and stuff inside of a romantic relationship. I would love to hear from those of you who have navigated relationships while managing PTSD. | ptsd |
My 7-year-old was diagnosed with ADHD and being gifted. He was also tested for autism, but due to his high IQ, they can not say for sure one way or the other. While he does great with anything that is structured, it is his unstructured time that has been an issue the last few years. My husband and I constantly get calls home because he is chasing people at recess, or poking them while walking, etc. While having a conference with his teacher today, she reiterated to me that we really need to get his behavior under control and that he seems to be struggling socially. I like to compare him to Michael Scott from The Office; jokes are taken too far and people end up annoyed and uncomfortable. She suggested putting him in cub scouts or something group-related where there is group work.
I am looking for suggestions or pointers because I really do not know where to go from here. I have tried private schools, public schools, medication, no medication... Is there something I am missing? | ADHD |
Hello,
I am a 30 year old adult, I have never done any diagnostic procedures. I always knew I was different, I always suspected that I was on the autism spectrum but I'm not sure.
**Can you tell me if you think I might or be or not be autistic ?** I live like a normal person, If you saw me you would think I’m normal, so maybe I’m normal and no autistic at all.
Social difficulties
Since I was a child, I have social difficulties. At school, I had great difficulty making friends, sometimes I had one friend at a time. I have little interest in socializing. In the classroom, I was in the moon all the time. I was present physically but elsewhere mentally, I was in my ideas.
I don't know how to approach people, maintain a conversation, I don't know what to respond to smalltalk. They say of me that I have an elusive personality. I avoid social situations. I am generally very quiet, I do not speak much and I do not see the point of small daily discussions. A lot of times I'm going to adapt to the person I'm talking to by miming them, I'm going to kind of put on a mask to look like that person, talk like that person. I don't know how to be myself with people.
Sensory hypersensitivity
Since I was a child, I have been hypersensitive to sounds in my environment, sounds that sometimes others do not hear (especially high pitch noises). I am unable to concentrate in a noisy environment.
Physical hypersensitivity: Since I was a child, I hate cutting my nails. I often keep them long. Cutting my nails causes me an unpleasant feeling that can last for several days after the cut. I also hate rigid clothes. I always wear loose, soft clothes. There are some scratched plastic textures that I am unable to touch, I get chills just thinking about it.
Anxiety
I suffer from generalized anxiety. I am uncomfortable with new or unfamiliar situations. The most stressful situations are social situations.
Analytical Thinking
I always analyze everything thoroughly. I see details that others cannot see. For example, I will notice a small scratch on a wall or a tiny mark on the floor. I can't stop over-analyzing the details, all the time. It's heavy when I go to a new place, I have this urge to analyze everything and since it's a new place my brain overheats.
Hyperfixation
I have a medium high intelligence (IQ \~ 124), but I am incompetent in certain areas such as mathematics. I am really excellent in a limited field of subjects (eg computer science, geography).
Since a child and even today, I still have a hyperfixation on a subject. For example, for 1 year I can only be interested in one subject and my life is completely absorbed by that subject. I analyze it in all its details and I need to know everything. Eventually this subject may change for another which will take up all the space. The initial subject will probably eventually return to my fixation, I have like a rotation.
Mind type description
I am very imaginative, very visual, I constantly have images in my head. If someone tells a story, it's like a movie in my head.
When I was a child, I had phrases that I couldn't help repeating. For example, I kept saying in my head all the time that I wanted my parents to live old and healthy. Whenever a coincidence happened, I absolutely had to say this sentence in my head. This kind of dissapeared with time.Today, it happens that I hear another person say a sentence and I will repeat it several times in my head, it is sometimes annoying but quite rare.
My memory is excellent for retaining certain details, I can describe in detail the building in which I passed several years ago. Whereas I have serious memory problems and I often forget. For example, I always lose the things I put away. I can put my keys in a drawer and completely forget about doing this today and lose my keys.
I think my mental health is good, I am stable, I do not and have never had seizures. I am rational.
I'm kind of rigid too, that's what my girlfriend says about me sometimes, for exemple, in the dishwasher, there's a special place for everything. If she put anything at the wrong place, i will replace it at the right place. If i'm out a day, when i'm back, I will replace everything correctly in the dishwasher. I don't know why, it really needs to be that way.
Often times, if someone asks me a question or gives me a direction that seems general, I will need clarification. Conversely, when I tell something, I am told that I add too much detail, which makes my sentences too long and people find that I take too long to get to the point, it seems to annoy others but I do not understand, this situation always repeats itself.
I look and act like a normal person
Despite all this,I have been able to adapt well to society. I have a stable job, a house, a car, a family, decent finances, I did well. I work in IT from home. No one ever told me that I appeared to be autistic. My partner is sometimes angry because I am often distracted and I forget things and I am rigid, but nothing more. The only failure I could see is on the friendly side, I don't have any friends in life (except virtually), but that suits me just fine, I don't want to have friends, it's a waste time for me. | aspergers |
Hi, so as the title says, Adderall XR gives me severe stomach problems (I am positive the Adderall is to blame because it never happens on Vyvanse). Problems are a gnawing pain in stomach, constant burping, constipation, cramping, etc. I can pay significantly less for the generic version of dexedrine ER and was wondering if I'd be unlikely to have stomach problems on it since I respond well to Vyvanse. | ADHD |
My OCD was getting better and now it's full fledged getting worse again. I don't have a minute of calm any given day. I feel like I need to check the news, read up on bad stuff that's happening just so my mind can loop worst case scenarios over and over.
I cannot read, hear, think, write, or say the word G - o - d without feeling the need to say a certain prayer in Hebrew, sometimes more than once. I'm not even a religious person.
I can barely eat things my parents have made for me or eat things they touch without panicking. I have to wash my hands over and over again. I have to knock on wood if I think of something that may "jinx" me. I feel guilty about intrusive thoughts.
I just want my brain to be quiet, why is that so hard to ask? | OCD |
Hi I doubt that anyone will read this but it's all good I just got to get some things off my chest. I recently moved to a new country to study. It was going well at the beginning. I was able to keep up with work and I was making a lot friends. 3 weeks after starting uni I had a breakdown and had physchosis episode that lasted a month and a half that nearly ended with my life. I'm finding it really hard to move forward. I keep having dreams of me failing uni, dying or falling back on the vicious cycle of getting intoxicated overdosing and cutting myself. I've been sober for a month now. I'm scared that I'll loose all my progress. I've never felt so alone. Life doesn't feel real anymore. I don't know who I am anymore or what I'll be. The only thing that helps is drawing myself in cigs and shitty sitcoms. I don't know what to do. I hope I find something, someone, that usually motivates me. Any suggestions are welcome. Idk man. | depression |
I’m personally largely into Greco-Roman history along with lots of cultures and histories of lots of norther Europeans such as the Gauls and Britons. I personally find these cultures quite interesting and find it interesting how these religious and cultural beliefs have both persisted and been revived by various people in the 21st century so much so I’ve considered joining a Hellenic or Celtic group just to talk about these things in public despite not practicing the religion. What’s your favorite period in history you love to study? | aspergers |
I've had my phone for 3 years now and I need to use screen protectors (here in Brazil it's kind of the norm), but as a perfectionist, I get anxious over misalignments, hair under the protector (even if it's on the edge and tiny), a scratch (which isn't even from the protector and I don't remember how it ended up on my phone), and halo effects (although that one was fixed using olive oil)
I can't replace the protector because parents and I'll only be able to have a new phone when I turn 18 (I'm 16, 17 next year), so I have to "get used to it," but I can't.
Any help? | OCD |
I did CBT for awhile and that was a good foundation. I feel like it helped me recognize cognitive errors more easily. But it wasn’t quite enough, and for a lot of reasons I stopped going.
After being encouraged by a friend to speak to a psychiatrist and getting my adhd Dx, my psychiatrist encouraged me to seek therapy again. I emailed some people on my insurance list and got connected with a therapist who does EMDR.
Y’all. Between medication for my Dx. And EMDR. It’s been life changing.
I am growing so much. Handling trauma. Making peace. Dealing with the things I’ve been too scared to tell anyone.
I’m noticing that I’m outgrowing certain friends who just take and take and leave no room for me. The ones who only call or text to vent. The one who didn’t check back when I said I felt really alone. The ones who have no clue how I’m doing because they only talk about themselves when I’m speaking to them.
I’m more motivated than ever to leave baggage behind. I think because before it was a concept. Like something I *could* do. Now it feels like I actually can.
I don’t know if anyone has questions for me but I’m happy to answer any. | ADHD |
We need access to disability resources which are severely lacking. We have next to no social net, especially as adults. Most importantly, there is an absence of financial support and thus our autonomy is limited.
Too often the choice is between underemployment and unemployment, where we risk of poverty and homelessness, and a full work schedule trapping us in a cycle of overstimulation and burnout. These jobs are often stressful, a mismatch for our functioning. Service work requires us to mask, constantly, demanding more energy resources than we can muster. Office jobs have office politics, involving complex and hidden hierarchies. Doing our job well isn't enough if we are a convenient target for a bully, cause we don't fit neatly into the social order.
Additionally, there is a paucity of accurate information about the lived lives of autistic people and it's rarely if ever articulated by us. The experiences of autistic people, in all their nuances should be taught to students, autistic and allistic.
This shit is alienating, cause, whether through intention or ignorance, we experience gaslighting on a personal and systemic level. Our perspectives are denied, our values denigrated, our way of being modeled as symptoms of a disease. Our personhood must be articulated on a mass level, through the masses and the mass media. | aspergers |
Hello guys, I do have OCD (Not clinically diagnosed) i have also dealt with a lot of different sub-types (themes) of ocd when i was younger.
But what happened recently is bugging me up and eating me to a point where i pity my existence. Recently i have been dealing with Intrusive thoughts during masturbation which r sexually violent in nature and i have been hating it! Ppl with OCD might know that in order to get things right, they might have to do the act again without having the intrusive thoughts.
So, I again tried to masturbate without having the intrusive thought and suddenly while i was about to climax, i actually ended up purposely thinking about my intrusive thoughts which is making me feel so guilty! I HAVE NO INTENTION TO ACT ON IT IN REAL LIFE BUT THE THOUGHT WHICH I ACTUALLY ENDED UP PURPOSELY THINKING DURING MASTURBATION IS EATING ME ALIVE!
Does any1 else face this same issue? Is what i am facing nornal? PLEASE HELP!
Im 16M btw. | OCD |
I’m trying but sometimes when I know I’m getting to a better mental space again my feelings get hurt and I miss being numb. It was so much easier to deal with rejection or hurt when I just didn’t care, when I was so numb that it didn’t matter. Being depressed is hard and trying to not be depressed is harder. Working through these stupid fucking emotions hurts. I want to shut down again. I want to be numb again. | depression |
Hi everyone-
Last year I experienced a trauma where a random man came up to me while I was pumping gas, and lit my gas tank on fire, sprayed down my truck. I wanted to run but I froze and just watched my truck burn. The man then tried to spray it at me next which of course made say get the fuck outta there. So I ran, he then doused himself with the gas/fire and laid under my truck after putting the hose back in the tank, trying to get it to explode. Luckily it did not explode, I was uninjured, no one else but him was hurt, etc. (Shoutout Peterborough, Ontario mental illness crisis!)
I didn’t go to therapy for months because I was physically ok and I thought I would be okay because I have a masters degree in counselling and thought I could just get through it. I watch a lot of crime shows and wanted to be that person that was “strong” and wouldn’t take sympathy and overcame their trauma. I feared discussing it because I didn’t want to make people think I was trying to get sympathy or something but when I went to therapy, I realized I did want people to feel bad for me because what happened was shitty. My therapist suggested I throw a literal pity party for myself. Like don’t do anything that day, sit in bed and watch movies, feel shitty, cry, and just feel bad for myself. She said “if you need to get balloons and cake do it!”. I actually felt so validated and it completely flipped how I perceived my reactions and thoughts and helped me acknowledge that it is OKAY to feel sympathy and care for yourself that something happened. Has anyone else done this? How do you guys feel? | ptsd |
I can stop thinking about what if I killed somebody and it's going to drive me fucking crazy. | OCD |
literally everyone just leaves and starts rumours that aren’t true. it hurts i’m sick of this, i’m sick of drama. i just feel like i’m doing something wrong but i’m not doing anything at all. i do nothing and i’m called so many names. i don’t want to die but i want to die to make this all go away. but ik i can’t die even if i did want to because my gf would be hurt and i don’t want to hurt her. i just want everyone to leave me tf alone but no one goes away it hurts. | depression |
What’s up guys (and gals), hope you’re doing OK.
After a kind of bumpy ride, I finally have my shit on track. I’m employed and live in my own place with my gf and our cats.
Lately I’ve kinda been feeling like something is missing though, but I can’t put my finger on it. Probably a healthy social life, although I’m not even sure I want one.
This feeling always seems to surface after I’ve been comfortable for a while with my new situation, whatever it may be, e.g. a new job, a new house etc.
Ah, the duality of HFA I guess. On one hand I want a social life, and I want challenges in my day to day life. On the other hand I just want to be left alone, and want to go throughout my day on autopilot almost until I have actual free time for myself.
Does anybody relate to this? | aspergers |
so my subconscious, all the time, just thinks of shitty scenarios all the time where i or those i consider close to me are being tortured in brutal detail. this happens sometimes as a reaction to something (ex - i hear a truck outside and then imagine walking into a truck’s blind spot and getting crushed). other times itll pop into my mind unprovoked. luckily i have aphantasia so i dont see it visually but i can “see” the conceptualization and my brain still produces negative emotions from it. it’s been getting so intrusive that i sometimes imagine myself getting hurt to forget about it happening to my loved ones. this is so annoying and distracting and i would really appreciate some tips or strategies to overcome this frustrating thing my brain does. thanks | OCD |
I finally have someone to talk with, finally do things that I like, finally found a hobby, but I'm still sad and I don't know why | depression |
I have two questions written on a paper (it's hard for me to follow though) and these are:
\- What would make you happy?
\- What would make you anxious?
​
If the answer is the same on both questions, you know what to do.
​
Maybe these questions can help somebody. Have to be careful though, OCD might defenitely find a loophole in this, what else would we expect :') | OCD |
I've had a number of jobs. The things that have been consistent amongst them are:
- I am bullied, suppressed or taken advantage of
- I fear waking up every day, and stay up late out of denial that my next conscious activity is to prepare for work
- I "fake" doing tasks that cause unbearable anxiety, such as making phone calls.
- My productivity is poor due to lack of focus (I have tried so hard to fix this
I'm over 30, received my aspergers diagnosis at 28. I've tried councelling, both group and privately and cancelled each of these three sessions in due to melting down at the prospect of seeing them again.
I was married (big mistake) and now divorced. I'm expected to find and keep employment to self-sustain, but frankly the anxiety of day-to-day is so unbearable I'd rather go homeless and/or starve to death than enter another workplace.
What can I do? | aspergers |
First of all, english is not my first language in case there is some redaction/grammar issues (would love some feedback in case there are major flaws!).
So some time ago my neurologist told me that there aren't "levels" of ADHD (like minor or major ADHD), but I really wanted to know if it can be measured through exams. This is mainly because I would like to have something to show just in case (had a discussion with a college partner about this, he said everyone with a few tweaks on their story could get an ADHD description) and also see if that would help with finding a better medication.
This last thing is because I don't really want to increase my dosis in case it may be too much for what I need to, even though sometimes I feel like it's not enough.
And that's about it, thanks for reading and would love to read some detailed responses about the topic! Have a great day. | ADHD |
So I started DVT last week; last week was only my second week, so we really haven't started on anything. She said it's going to be intense, and there will be session where I won't want to do much for a few hours afterwards.
She is hoping even in my situation it does help/work; it's normally a year long program, but she thinks we will have to extend it until I am out of the situation.
Has anyone ever gone through DVT and has it worked? | ptsd |
I’m at such a loss, it should not be this hard to get treatment. It should not be this hard to find a psychiatrist who studies ADHD, or at least they shouldn’t pretend that they do. I’m a 21 year old woman, I finally decided to help myself and get psychiatric help about 4 months ago. I explained my state of depression and anxiety and I believed it to be connected to my ADHD, he asked if I’ve been diagnosed which I said I have at multiple places, he then prescribed me antidepressants and said we would see later. Next time we talked I asked to again please focus on my ADHD symptoms as they were still there and creating a constant struggle, he suggested upping the Wellbutrin dosage. I keep pressing to help my ADHD and he asks why I feel like I have it, I keep pressing and he suggests sending me an ADHD evaluation form, I again am telling him that I know I have it and this isn’t helping. He told me that in order to get the medication, I would have to take a piss test and I won’t be able to pass it because there is THC in my system. Have any of you had to be completely sober for a piss test? I’m not taking any stimulants, this is absolutely frustrating especially since my cousin who is going through the exact same thing got hers immediately, not even having to take a piss test. I call to completely change my doctor as he seems bias and not believing what I’m saying, I have to wait another 3 months to even get help. This is insane, how will I know if the next doctor won’t pull the same crap. I shouldn’t have tried my cousins adderall prescriptions, I got a taste of a world that moved at the same time my thoughts did and I’m just devastated I could have been feeling that this whole time, and that I currently still do not have the meds I need. I just want to be motivated I just want the constant currant to go away, can you guys tell me how your doctor experiences went? | ADHD |
So I was here around 139 days ago asking for advice about if I should tell my boss.
I decided to take my own feelings & finally told my boss that I have ADHD, his reaction was so endearing & he’s like why didn’t you tell me sooner? He said that half of my action could explain why I was so distant & anxious.
He says that he’ll try his best to work with me with better understanding & that next time I should try to tell him any problems I have.
I’m like super grateful 🥺🥺
Edit: I forgot that he’s so willing to learn about ADHD & other stuff! | ADHD |
This sounds ridiculous but it's happened for maybe the third time in my life today where someone found my trigger, I told them I have PTSD and it's why I can't do x, y, or z. And they just mocked me for it incessantly. I've had this happen with anonymous people online a few times but it's just so egregious sometimes (movie villain levels of mean) that idk what to do. I get the shakes and I feel unsafe, not as bad as a full on attack but I have no idea how to cope/avoid it. | ptsd |
Hi everyone! I've been dealing with nightmares pretty consistently over the last two years and wanted to come here for some insight on ways I can deal with them.
They happen consistently, ranging from one during the week to multiple nightmares in one night. They've started to kick back up recently and the content is always really random. They always have people I'm close with (friends, family, etc), but the dreams never really make sense–like, it's always situations that have never happened. The only theme I've been able to recognize is that I and/or someone important to me is missing, hurt, afraid, in danger, etc.
They also tend to come in fragments, like there's snippets from multiple different dreams all mashed together. The emotions in the dreams are all over the place, ranging from happy and calm to feeling like I'm dying in whatever dream I'm having. It leaves me in a really confused state most of the time when I first wake up. They've been worse this week, waking me up around 3 AM and I'm not usually able to go back to sleep after they happen.
Has anyone else dealt with something like this before? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance! | ptsd |
My son (16yo) is suspected to be in the Aspergers spectrum and is suffering from depression right now. I wonder if you could recommend books that could help him. He is an avid reader and really enjoys comprehensive/thorough information and personal experiences. I really appreciate your help. | aspergers |
I'm not sure if this is a symptom or not. I (21F) got diagnosed with PTSD in December, but was told I'd have to find my own treatment. My symptoms died down after the diagnosis, so I never pursued treatment, but now everything is coming back. I'm going to call tomorrow to try to get an appointment to start therapy.
In order to prepare for the appointment, I'm writing down everything that I think is related to PTSD. All I know of the traumatic incident is that my father is the cause, but not what happened or when it happened.
My major things that I think might be related (unless they're just phobias on their own) are fearing the dark, water, and having my back exposed. I can only sleep on my back, except when my girlfriend is over, in which case I can sleep on my side, but only if my back is facing her. Even when I'm not sleeping, I need to be laying on my back or if I'm sitting somewhere I need to be against a wall.
Does any of that make sense? Do these seem like things that would relate to PTSD or a traumatic experience? I'm not very educated on the disorder. | ptsd |
I’m reaching out for support tonight. My wife is in a deep PTSD episode and I’m not having any success bringing her back. It’s the third one this weekend and I’m at my wits end and don’t really know what to do. She’s safe and so am I. Just looking for some understanding voices. Thanks. | ptsd |
I need advice on what I should do. I have no money or insurance. I have a past history of drug addiction. My doctor hesitates to give me anything helpful anxiety due to risk of some abuse potential of drugs.
I take modafinil, buproprion, trazodone, naltrexone. The modafinil and buproprion are for adhd and depression and they work great for their purpose.
I am constantly thinking about my past and failures about letting him take advantage of me. I also have Autism, Social Anxiety, ADHD. I don't go to 12 step meeting as they remind me of past trauma and they never helped anyways. | ptsd |
I don't have a reason to keep doing this. I don't enjoy anything. I'm never comfortable. Everything feels like work that I have to do. I feel trapped by everything. I feel so guilty because people care about me but it just isn't enough. I don't like having to get up and go to work. I don't like having to eat and drink everyday. I never have enough time because there is always something in the future I'll have to do. There isn't enough good to counter all the bad. Everything people think I like is just things I do as a distraction. I don't actually enjoy them really. They just keep me from self destruction. Everyone keeps telling me things will get better or that things can change but I've yet to see any of it. Everytime something good comes, it's just so it get taken from me and leave me worse than before. I feel so alone. There are plenty of people in my life but none of them fill the hole. They don't scratch the itch. So I'm alone. And I feel so guilty because I know they care but I just don't want to do this anymore. I have no dreams, desires, ambitions, goals, or wants. All I want is the nothingness of sleep. I don't dream very often so sleep is normally just empty darkness and it's the only peace I have. When I do dreams, they're nightmares. In the past 4 months I've had 2 dreams that weren't nightmares and only 1 that wasn't bad. I don't feel like I'm normal. Like I'm missing the part that makes humans what they are. I feel soulless. Just existing. | depression |
I was diagnosed with OCD thirteen years ago when I was six and lately it’s been really bad. I have been constantly obsessing over the state of the world, feeling extreme despair and guilt about things that are bad, and having terrible anxiety about the future. It’s chronic and it feels like beyond a “me” issue so I don’t know how it’ll get better. It’s so exhausting to be in my head all the time and I don’t know how to break out of these miserable thought patterns | OCD |
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