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Does anyone else ٫ when thinking about which city or part of the world to move to..feel indecisive (as per usual) and anxious. Same with career choice٫ way of life٫ way of behaving and being perceived ..I want to be perceived in this way but also in this way..unstable and inconsistent needs
I just feel like any place I could move to would in some way make me feel disconnected or too far apart from the rest of the world..like if I were to live in Madrid٫ Spain٫ I would miss out on being in London and if I were in Paris I would miss out on being in NYC..and with each city there's an anxiety and feelings of being trapped in a way..and stuck and depressed ..empty and not feeling truly at home anywhere٫ everywhere something is missing .
The need to move from one place to another but the fear of change and getting out of your comfort zone as well as general inertia and inability to act...
Where should I live٫ how should I live٫ how can I get my life together if I can't make plan and stick with it without feeling like in some way I'm always going to miss out on something and two parts of me are in conflict with each other ... | ADHD |
(Warning kinda gross) to anyone with BFRB compulsions: do you guys have a compulsion where you have to itch inside your ear and then it turns into you trying to get earwax out? I’ve been doing this for over 5 years now and I go at it until it hurts too bad to keep going. I have perpetual callouses at the ends of my pinkies because of this. the more you mess with your ear the more it itches/feels uncomfortable and it’s definitely one of my worst compulsions but how you do stop? It’s nearly impossible not to mess with your ear when it feels itchy. Does anyone have tips on how to mitigate this? | OCD |
Sorry if this is the wrong place for this post. My boyfriend has Autism and has suddenly found out his group of friends from university created a secret new discord server with everyone except him included. He's devastated and I'm devastated on his behalf. I've experienced exclusion from friends before, but he says he's dealt with it his whole life, and I wouldn't dream of understanding truly how hard it must be.
When he asked his friends why they excluded him, he had a barrage of insults thrown at him - they told him he talked too much about his specific interests, that hanging out with him was a chore, and that his humour was too abrasive. None of these things had been communicated to him prior to this - in fact, they had often reciprocated his jokes, as well as reassuring him that he wasn't annoying if he ever vocally doubted himself (thanks to previous friendships, he has low self-esteem and worries a lot about being annoying or unlikeable). He is a kind, passionate, intelligent person and it pains me that these people don't understand that or even care to try.
He's beyond anxious to start the next term at university and doesn't want to go back at all. I just want to support him and make everything better, and was wondering if anyone here had any words of advice, personal experiences, or comfort that I could relay to him. Thanks :) | aspergers |
Alright, so I'm a \[27M\] and I've had this ongoing problem for awhile now. But I finally understand the root of it.
Idk about you all, but for me I have problems with tics. I tic in public on occasion and it will show via movement of the head and whatnot. I also have a problem with my filter or lack there of. As such, I've had some embarrassing moments in my life. It happened again this morning when I ticked again and there was a camera and a receptionist. I mean damn it all to hell, I wish I could control this shit, but now I know what causes it.
On top of this, I had been lazy due to COVID and I need to hit the gym again and get back on my feet in terms of employment (good thing I'm a private tutor and a content writer).
But more importantly, I have severe depression and anxiety disorder as well. It doesn't help that I have recurring negative memories of the past where the most embarrassing moments of my life appear and as such, I have visions of the future ending in catastrophe as if I will repeat those moments or worse moments than that will come.
My sense of humility was also molded by my family. In a way, I think they harmed my self-esteem in the long run because while they did their best to help me when it came to ticking in public and whatnot, they also were pretty harsh and controlling when I was a child. I was often spanked and I was shamed whenever I ticked in public.
They would point out my flaws with socializing constantly and would tell me that some people aren't my crowd to hang out with or whenever it came to dating it was something like *"That girl is out of your league! You can't get her, you might as well be looking at Christie Brinkley"* and telling me that I'm a nerd, doubting me when it came to being a success in the career path I've chosen *(I'm a novelist too)* and when it came to finishing college or not. I always had to prove myself constantly, prove them wrong because they didn't have initial faith in me at all.
Truly, I think their method of discipline has taken a toll on me psyche. My friends have been more helpful in the past, but overall due to the above mentioned, the stuff that my parents and brother have told me has been so ingrained into my head to the point where it is really, really hard for me to be confident in public because I'm always on edge, keeping up my guard every damn step of the way, watching my back and being too careful and apologetic of what I say or do.
I want to overcome this, but I need some help from you all to do it. I've done my best, but it is extremely hard. | aspergers |
Four years ago today I was living in Dallas, Tx at the time. It was around 10:45 pm and I began walking to my neighborhood 7-11 on Lower Greenville. It generally took about 8-10 minutes to walk from my apartment to the store. I had done this hundreds of times.
Years before I had moved back to Dallas, Lower Greenville was a much seedier area. It was transformed and gentrified at this point now and considered much "safer". I personally liked it when it was a bit rougher back in the day and rent was cheaper. I had lived in the area off and on through out the years.
Walking through the hood I would cut across a back parking lot, to get to the 7-11, that was behind a row of bars and restaurants. It was a Wednesday night. Just before 11pm I had entered this parking lot. It always kind of gave me bad vibes... The lights were kind of dim and some didn't work. I saw two guys having what looked like a slap fight at the opposite end of the parking lot. Approximately half a foot ball field away ( 50 yards ). I had no intention of breaking up their fight, as FOX4News falsely reported, and was just going to proceed past them while maybe rubber-necking the event. Suddenly a guy off to my right started shooting with a 45 pistol at them on the opposite side. The taller man that was fighting with the smaller guy was purely backlit and in silhouette. I watched the tall man's arm raise up with a pistol and then I saw a blue star and heard a cracking sound. I couldn't believe what was happening! I felt a sting and rounds were popping off. It felt like I stood there forever before reacting, just processing the surreal.
Survival instincts took over and I did a sailor dive into the parking lot behind an SUV ( which I would find out later had multiple bullet holes in it). I did not realize I had been shot yet. I thought that the bullet might have hit the pavement, and a piece of asphalt had hit me in my scrotum. No way did I just get shot! I am laying on the ground just saying FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, as rounds continued to go off. It was like a warzone. I look over to my left, and see the bald guy that started the shoot out, semi jogging past me, and out towards Lower Greenville, which is the main street with people walking up and down it. He looked at me for a moment. I braced myself for him to shoot me in the head. This guy wasn't my shooter though. He kept moving.
I stayed down on the ground until the shots stopped. Got up and ran to the main street and saw people walking by that were oblivious to what just happened half a block from them ( it was common to still hear fireworks at this time post 4th of July ). I yelled to them that I think I had been shot and to call 911. They scurried away and gave me a look like I was crazy.
Coming to my senses I realized I had my phone on me and dialed 911. I stumbled towards the bar I frequented and saw Jimmy the bouncer at his post outside. He immediately noticed I wasn't ok and said, are you ok? I yelled back, I think I've been fucking shot! ( Jimmy told me later that he thought the gunshots were just fireworks). I was wearing black cargo shorts and couldn't see the blood, but when Jimmy and a small crowd gathered around me was when I noticed the stream of it down my left leg into my boot. Touched my crotch area and my hand was covered in blood.
It didn't take long for emergency services to arrive. In the ambulance was when I finally looked at the damage. The EMT wouldn't even look at it as I unzipped my shorts and saw it. I could see my fucking dark purple bloody balls! My sack was split into by a .45 round. I am dark humored so I was making jokes like, I didn't want kids anyways... The bullet grazed my right testicle and proceeded through my inner left thigh, and exited my left butt cheek. Later I would find out it was millimeters from the femoral artery and I would have bled out before they got me to the hospital. 6 minutes tops. People laugh or giggle sometimes when I tell them where I was shot. They don't realize how serious it was, or could have been though. LOL balls....
I didn't lose my boys however and the right testicle was bio-medically re-sculpted in surgery. Two days in the hospital and about 40K of medical bills. I didn't have insurance and still don't.
My shooter was finally caught 10 months later and was basically slapped on the wrist with 7 years probation and 1 month of jail time. He also had to pay my medical bills incurred. He was an active duty Army soldier at that time, and was dealing drugs for the Aryan Brotherhood, according to my prosecutor, who dealt in gang crime. Also, he is a black man. I can't make this shit up! I would be a writer if I could. And way too often I wish that bastard would've been a better shot, because he ruined my fucking life... I get to see that blue star everyday now.
TLDR; I walked into a drug deal gone bad, and was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Almost got my balls blown off and died. | ptsd |
I've seen so many posts on here that have made me go "wait, that's an adhd thing??" that I thought I'd throw this one out there.
The title basically. No idea why this happens and no one I know personally seems to know what I'm talking about. But sometimes music just sounds a beat or two slower. Like when the DJ decreases the tempo on a song but the pitch stays the same? I usually play a playlist so I feel like I know what the tempo should be and sometimes it's just slow. Just me? | ADHD |
Hi all im 22 In the past ive done some really stupid things and I regret them hugely, my mum passed away a few weeks ago and my ocd and anxiety has been atrocious, when I was 17 I encouraged my old best friend to drink more and took advantage of her by making out and humping when she was drunk, we didn't have sex but that doesn't matter, my mind has been creating different scenarios and making it feel like I've did stuff and making out the worst things ever which I dont think happened, but my mind loves to shove what ifs down my throat and head and I dont know if its because of mums death but its becoming a lot harder to deal with ocd and guilt and shame | OCD |
Are these signs of OCD? So to name a few, 1)When I enter a different type of floor, I like to count my steps and make sure it's an even number of steps, or sometimes it has to be multiples of 5, basically multiples. 2) Sometimes, when the thing mentioned before happens, the force exerted into my steps, I try to have them equal. If I exert too much force on one foot, I exert more on the other foot to try and have it equal, which is pointless anyways, 'cause I know my steps aren't perfect regardless, yet it disturbs me. 3)When these happen, to stop it I click my tongue to signal the end of the 'routine', and after, most likely I just stop thinking about it, but sometimes I continue. Feel free to ask questions for more info. I think it's quite mild, but I have no idea, that's why I'm making this post. Thank you <3 | OCD |
Hello there,
I'm not asking for reassurance in this post, just to get out of my chest what I've been living my entire life (since my childhood) without actually understanding it was a condition. And ask advice on what I should do next.
Really early in my childhood I remember telling my mom I have a small "demon" in my brain that pushes some buttons sometimes to make me feel bad and when he's in charge I feel there's a veil between the world around me and me : I cannot feel happiness, or sadness. I'm just constantly in my head.
When I was having episode, I felt super guilty for doing things that I was considering inappropriate (which was, basically, having sexual thoughts...) and I felt always the urge to confess to my mom when this happens. I am homosexual. The first time I masturbated I had to confess after, because I felt I was an horrible person. I remember having to confess once to my mom because there was an advertisement on the television with a plastic baby doll with a small penis that actually pees (90's advertisements were wild lol) and I had the intrusive thoughts of putting it in my mouth (EVEN THOUGH I ACTUALLY DONT WANT IT).
During puberty, I accepted the fact that I was gay, that it was ok to masturbate, so my little "demon" had to think about something else to make me feel like shit and undeserving of the love of my family and friends (especially my mom, I was so scared to disappoint her). So, I started to be scared of being a p\*dophile. Thinking about non-event, or intrusive thoughts, thinking about memories so much that those memories would change a bit (in a really, really light way, so I dont realize those memories change) and finally almost convinced that I was one. But I'm used to my "demon", and it would always go away after a few months of suffering. To always come back, like waves. And when I realized I wasnt p\*dophile, it tried to make me think I was maybe z\*\*phile. Anything that could make me think I'm a perverted person that deserve nothing more than sadness and death.
I've been dealing with this my whole life, but as an adult, I kind of mastered it. I know it was ridiculous. So for the past ten years of my adult life, it went away. But now, it's back.
It's back because of two things: the covid quarantine that made me stay with myself for a long time, and the fact that I finally met my boyfriend. He's perfect, we're in love, and I cannot imagine myself without him.
Now my "demon" is back. During my adult years, I did some questionnable things (that I'm not going to tell here, because I dont want to feed my "demon"). Some were very problematic. But instead of dealing with those as an adult (trying to see if I learned from it, if I became more matured, etc.) I just feel the urge to confess, as if the love of my partner was like the unconditionnal love of my mother that needed to be challenged all the time. Those last months were ok, but last week I did something that I know deep in my heart that is not that bad but that my "demon" is trying to make look like it's very bad. So I'm not in a good place for now. I can tell that my memory of the thing is changing already, and that he's doing anything he can to make me suffer and realize that I deserve to be alone and to die alone and nothing else. It's a big battle against myself. As I've always said, "in those moments, I feel like I'm my worst enemy and I cant trust myself at all".
I thought I was just a weird person and I didnt know other people in the world suffered the same problem. So yeah, I dont know why I had to write something. Maybe just to write about it, because I havent really talked about this before to anyone. I just felt ashamed for some reason.
Thank you for reading me <3 | OCD |
Hiya,
Out of context, this seems like a really weird and terrible question.
The context: since my adhd diagnosis, I have not shut up about it. Clearly it interests me, i take time out of my day just to research about it because I think it’s such an interesting topic. That’s where the problem is, it’s something I find so interesting that I talk about it all the time, and even when the conversation isn’t about adhd, my brain has somehow found a way to connect it to the conversation. To make things worse, I’m someone who likes to explain things like behaviour for some odd reason (I’m like super into science lmao), and after receiving my diagnosis, I make so many connections in my behaviour (past and present) to what I’ve learned about it, that I bring it up in conversation that way. It’s annoying me that I talk about it so much, so it’s bound to be annoying everyone else.
Is there a way in which to stop talking about it at the magnitude that I am? There’s so many other cool things i could be thinking and talking about instead and I’m honestly kinda tired of talking about it so much. | ADHD |
Hello,
I'd like to share some type of music I like to listen to when I need to find motivation and focus.
I don't know if "Epic" is really the type of music but it's often used in the artist name.
It's the kind of music you can hear during movie trailers. It's all instrumental (sometimes with vocalisations) and it has to be speedy (or go from low to high speed) and punchy.
From "Epic" artists :
* Danny Cocke - Sinister Intent
* Epic North - Exosuit
* Hampus Naeselius - Flying Jib
* Mark Petrie - Against All Odds
* Mark Petrie - New Way Forward
* Epic North - Freya
* Epic North - First Light
* PostHaste Music - Aurora
* Mark Petrie - Torsion
* Colossal Trailer Music - Sentenced to Death
* Audiomachine - So Say We All
* De Mark Petrie - Beyond
From movies :
* Steve Jablonsky - Lockdown
* Steve Jablonsky - We have to go
* Steve Jablonsky - Hunted
From video games :
* Danny Cocke - Rainbow Six Siege: Invitational Theme Music
* Stephen Barton - Apex Legends: Main Theme
* Brian Trifon - Strung
This is my full playlist on Apple Music : https://music.apple.com/be/playlist/epic/pl.u-GzRFPMqdo
I don't if somebody has the same need of music to boost motivation and focus ? | ADHD |
Obsessively always thinking of wanting to particularly talk to one person instead of others, I wonder if that makes me somewhat of a narcissist? | OCD |
For instance, taking offence to something a friend has said even though you know they didn't mean any offence and feeling an anger building up inside you, or fixating on something else small and stupid and experiencing emotions you know to be irrational in relation to that.
It's like I am in a constant battle between the irrational part of my brain and the rational part. I hate that I get these thoughts and feelings in the first place and it makes feel so fucking pathetic. I just wish there was a way I could disengage that particular aspect of my mind. | OCD |
I was in a relationship with this girl I met a few years back and as I have done with all my previous relationships, I let go and feel completely In love and I didn't pace myself or hold myself back. She is genuinely one of the best things that has ever happened to me. She understands me and I understand her. We both have similar pasts and struggles. She gives my life meaning. It seems like she's so great. But at the time she was going through a whole lot and needed more attention than I or any one guy could give her. And well yes that did lead to what you could call being cheated on. I still stayed with her, even though there were other guys in her life. Even though she hid things from me. I was so mentally not ok that I literally couldn't imagine a life without her without me harming myself in some serious way. But eventually time ran it's course, I got tired of all the things she did to me and I guess I broke. I kept pointing out all the things she did wrong previously and she got tired of it and left. Im proud to say that since then (early in the year) I've grown and I've managed to become self sufficient. I can do things on my own now. I swore to myself that I would never get back in love with her. That i would never put myself though that again and fall into that trap. But we started talking again. And now all I can think about is her. All I want is to be back with her. It feels like the bond we have is still there. And she actually texts me and talks to me. All of this is dramatically stupid she is dating someone else now and has been for a few months. And I still can't get her out of my fucking head. I'm bipolar, my symptoms have been in remission for years and now I'm freaking manic again . Pretty much my life is now is disassociating 24/7 imagining things that are far from reality to escape my life. I've struggled with self harm in the past but I have never actually cut into myself. All I've done is burn myself to feel pain but now that I'm back in love with her I feel like I have to actually do it now. I said I'd never do it again. I swore to myself. I broke that promise and now I deserve it. | depression |
On the 1st of January 2022 I'm going to kill myself I'm giving myself till then so the last memories I have with my family and they have of me are at least some of the best they'll have. | depression |
Im so stressed and anxious about the book bends from today. My head is still tingling and aching. I can’t stop obsessing over the mistake I made of trying to put the book in the plastic cover by accidentally creating bends on the corners of the book. Now I have annoying images in my head of the bending and can’t get it out. I wish it could be fixed without it being ruined. I wish I didn’t have to worry about small things like that but some traumatic things recently have triggered me into obsessing over the condition of things I own and my past childhood. | OCD |
As a "no longer young" guy with ASD and massive inattention, who admittedly did not spend his 20s and 30s the correct way--to become established in life--how is it one should come to grips with the ramifications of this?
If nothing else, what explanation can I give myself, which isn't going to result in more self-loathing but is still also true?
To be blunt, it would likely be "true enough" to call this stupidity or a lack of intelligence. If intelligence is adaptive, then I would certainly not be that, if anything the opposite. My knowledge of the social aspects of life, or most anything that could even potentially lead to success, is threadbare. I basically have interests in things that either do not print money, or are highly unlikely to do so. It seems the bigger interest is in keeping dysfunctional routines.
I believe many/most folks would find a person like that description, to be either weak, stupid, or perhaps a "sponge" on society. Worse yet is to be a man in this situation, with all the programming about the role of an "actual man" in society. These generalized facts, along with one's own social anxiety, seem to become a massive stumbling block in that the longer the avoidance happens, the more "out of touch" he becomes, and therefore the less he can relate to others--which validates low self-esteem and maintains the social anxiety.
I think we could get into the weeds with a topic like this, perhaps I shouldn't even raise the point, knowing it's a magnet for insults. In any event I only read and reply to civil comments. I'm mostly looking for those who are longterm avoidants, and advice on how to think about yourself in a good light. Or how to 'recover' and become at least somewhat useful again. | aspergers |
Okay, I got diagnosed with ptsd a few weeks ago, but I’ve known for quite a while that I’ve had literally all the general symptoms of ptsd so it didn’t surprise me when I got the diagnosis
However, I have noticed throughout these 2 years I’ve experienced this, that I have some weird, almost embarrassing symptoms that pop up (of course I can’t find any atm) randomly which I sometimes find really odd. I wanted to go and ask on here? What are your most random, weird or embarrassing (etc) symptoms you have?
I’d hope to find some similarities out of this, so I don’t feel too alone lol
thanks haha | ptsd |
My old therapist mentioned that I might react well to some kind of trauma therapy where you watch changing lights while thinking of what happened- I liked the idea because I wouldnt have to talk to a stranger about what happened and watch their eyes change to pity. However I have very little faith in healing from my ptsd with any kind of therapy but especially one thats based on... Light patterns? Is that was EMDR is? Has anyone that's tried it had positive results? Can someone explain it to me? | ptsd |
Starting to spiral again. Don't know if it's environmental, but I'm honestly getting tired. At what point do you feel you need to reach out for medication? And how do you have that conversation with your doctor? | depression |
Lingering ideals /
Year long tests of persistence /
Leaving me more numb | depression |
Do you feel like no one should have sex because it is too shocking ? Are you really shocked when someone you know tell you he had sex and you imagine it ? | OCD |
Mark Rober just released a video talking about his son's Autism and ASD in general. He is also hosting an event April 30th with Jimmy Kimmel (and a *ton* of guests) to support NEXT for Autism. It's worth checking out if you haven't seen it yet.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybPgmjTRvMo&ab\_channel=MarkRober](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybPgmjTRvMo&ab_channel=MarkRober) | aspergers |
I am a young adult male who is worried for my life. The direction of my life is going to a complete disaster and nothing can be done. I am in college studying business that can't get me anywhere. I am still living with my parents because I don't have stable income to survive on. I can't do basic tasks such as using the cash register at work, organizing papers in different piles, and sweeping and cleaning my house. I even forget things that you tell me 10 minutes ago and my memory is horrible. When I watch movies and T.V shows, it takes me a while to fully grasp what's happening and I simply forget what is happening during the show. I can't even explain it properly when I finish it. There's so many tasks that I can't do right. I can't pay attention in my college classes, I take longer to understand things more than others, and I struggle to think fast and logically. It's horrible because my parents constantly treat me like shit and compare me to my peers who are doctors, lawyers and software engineers making far more than I do.
The huge issue that's affecting me is my low IQ. I took an IQ test when I was in school by the psychologist and I scored around 80, which is exactly below average. I was also tested to have very low processing speed. After this, the psychologist told me that I was a waste of oxygen who would never amount to anything in life. I swear to God that I am probably the most dumbest person to walk this earth. I am unsure of how I will survive in this world because if your IQ is below 87, you can't work any type of job to survive. This seems embarrassing because it's difficult when I want to move out my parents house and I am not financially stable to do it..
I get depressed every day knowing that I can't prove myself to others. My dreams of being a physicist or an electrical engineer are not going to happen because of this curse. | depression |
It takes me hours to do even the simplest cleaning job. My flat is a mess because of this and then I become too overwhelmed to deal with it, which stresses me out because I can’t stand dirt! I find I just spend my whole life cleaning and I can never focus on things I actually want to do. I’ve been wanting to learn Spanish and do art but I am either always cleaning as the mess just never seems to end or too exhausted to do anything. I’m just so sick of living like this. And COVID has made it 1000x worse to the point where I’m even scared to go outside. I just feel like giving up. I can’t keep cleaning every hour of my life or worse.. have a day off and then the mess builds up to the point where I can’t cope. I don’t even know what I’m afraid of at this point but I can’t stop obsessing over cleaning something multiple times until it “feels right”. And no one understands and they tell me to just do it quicker so it won’t take up my whole life, I wish it was that simple! | OCD |
Does anyone here experience this? I’m not here to ask for a medical advice just wanna get to know if I’m alone.
It doesn’t react on any painkillers that I have tried.
I constantly experience some weird pain only in the right part of the face.
I have done a number of checkups for it, MRIs, ECG - all normal.
It’s kind of always there, gets stronger and much worse if I stress out or if I am worried or thinking about my problems.
It affects my ability to concentrate because there topics that I learn which I can’t really understand at once and it really makes it give much more pain.
All the doctors(also a couple of neurologists) say that I’m fine, except my psychiatrist who says that it might be psychosomatic pain.
I have no neck pain, no jaw pain nothing else, just the right part of the face mainly around my right temple and to the middle of my forehead.
I’m diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar 1 | ADHD |
No one is excited when I come up on the stage. Tonight, I had an award ceremony. Absolutely no one clapped when I got the reward I worked hard for. But then, everyone else gets the praise. How lucky they are. | depression |
Hi, my gf has ADHD and I think that may be the cause of her terrible sleep.
Thing is, she’s shaking and sometimes even kicking the blanket, she talks during her sleep and that happens every night. She becomes calmer once I hug her and lay close, but unfortunately I’m not able to do that all the time, as I work night shifts, and sometimes, when I just sit in my chair and playing games, she talks/screams and shakes like someone would perform exorcism on her. I feel really bad about this, as I care for her and I think her sleep quality suffers because of that.
Anyone having something familiar? Any tips on what to do? | ADHD |
Does anyone else i dont know if its rocd or just ocd but my brain keeps telling me my gf is lying to me and when ive asked her almost everyday for months shes starting to get very upset and it came close to ending because of it but we love eachother so much and couldnt end it but my brain tells me all this stuff and makes me wanna throw up filled with anxiety and just wanna ball my eyes out because i dont know what to do or whats real i hatw it is there anyone else | OCD |
My mother admitted she knew what was happening so why didn’t she do anything?
Then she just dipped and abandoned me but she’s here for a week and I’m unsure how to feel. | ptsd |
Has anyone else experienced PTSD flare up with this mercury retrograde shit?? It started with body memories, now hallucinations, nausea/vomit, hot flashes, chills, diaherrA, intrusive thoughts, dissocation, flashbacks, etc,. Help. I feel like I should be in the ER somewhere or something. This sucks so bad!!! | ptsd |
other ADHD people, too? In friendship when I know someone who has or seems to have adhd and doesnt listen to me I get easily on my nerves. Maybe it's because I put so much efforts on my relationship and social interactions... Like "me too I am neurodysfunctional - but I like you and I try so much to be present and a good friend!" I feel betrayed when I am with this friend with other people and they ignore me to feel or look "normal/social/cool/popular". I feel bad for that... | ADHD |
I was wondering if anyone had the same issue as me.
I just went to see a therapist and she said I very likely have OCD. When I read something or when someone says something, I have to know what every small thing means. For example, I was watching a lecture recording and when the professor said '......is true, right?' I try to find the reason why he said 'right?' I ask my self what does 'right' mean? He's not really asking a question so why did he say 'right?'. Stuff like that. And words like 'I guess' when people use it for a certain fact. I spend so much time trying to find out why they said 'I guess' when it's an obvious fact. Like saying 'I guess I'm wrong' when they just found out they are definitely wrong. I can't stop thinking and I get panic attacks. I also have a habit of rewinding when reading subtitles. I have to remember every word and punctuation used even when I get a rough idea of what's going on. It's very frustrating and I spend over an hour finishing a 20 minute episode. Basically, I want to know if anyone here has an obsession with the definitions of words and remembering everything perfectly and the exact reason why things happen? How do you deal with it? | OCD |
Just curious years ago when i got diagnosed it was by a professional psycologist who worked with autistic people. A friend tells me when she got diagnosed it was by her therapist. I understand this is a thing but my therapists always told me that diagnosis are usually not given by them but they can point to that direction. They can do it but typically pass you to another person more qulified. Im not gonna tell this person their wrong but i've never heard of this before is this a new thing lately?
That therapisrs give diagnosis? I only ever remember being sent to certian buildings and speaking to psycologoists, specialists sorta thing. And it typically was a waiting room like a largr drs office filled with disabilitys. So im curious and a bit concerned if she got a legitimate diagnosis. I tried asking where they a spechalist and she is like yes but they didn't seem to even give her an actual test to figure it out they asked questions. Which is 100% okay. I just never heard of that and want to know whats changed. I wont lie though this persons really nice and then super mean and im kinda a bit skeptical but its not my place to say anything so i left it alone. And instead wanna ask whats different. | aspergers |
I’m a 23 year old male, who was diagnosed with Aspergers when I was around 5ish. I started struggling with depression around the start of my 20s, and this forced me to take breaks from college for my own mental health. Recently I’ve noticed that little jokes that people around me make seem to make me angry now, when I was done with them and even laughed with them before. Anyone else experience this? | aspergers |
Ive been obsessing over this for so long and I can't take it anymore. A few months ago, when I had just turned 18, I started talking to a 16 year old. We didn't date, we were just flirtatious and friendly. When we were talking I commented under a picture he posted where he was shirtless and said it was hot. I also said to him "I had a dream about you last night, I can't say what happened though." We never said anything explicitly sexual to each other, never sent any nudes, but I just want to know if what I did was illegal. I'm serious when I say I've been obsessing over this for MONTHS. Is what I did illegal? Do I deserve to be imprisoned? I've contemplated suicide over this and feel it is a mistake. I know our age difference really isn't that significant but I live in a state where anything sexual between a minor and someone who is 18+ is illegal. I really can't tell because my friends have dated 18 yr olds when they were 16/17 too. Please be honest. | OCD |
So I used to have bad ocd about having hiv and now after watching a daft video on YouTube I’ve gone under again. I thought it’s been a long time surely I would of been sick by now and then to make things worse I googled how long can you have hiv and not notice 10 TO 15 YEARS it said! I hate life lol it’s so cruel man | OCD |
Have been on Aduvanze for 1 year +, 30 to 60 throughout the day if i feel i need more (not so often).
Aduvanz definitely help me not be to spontaneous, and stop overthinking (thats how it is).
But instead of taking the capsule i open it and pour it with some water and swallow it directly.
The reason i dont just swallow the capsule is becuse i get a rollercoaster of emotion, i dont get that heavy mood swings when i just open the capsule and drink it.
The other thing is i get realy tierd baggy eyes with Aduvanz, and thats realy annoying.
I know its many factors, but is it any body with some experience or could help me get closer to perfection with controlling my adhd?
I feel i have pretty good knowledge, but it allways other how know more, at least can steer you in the right direction.
Tl;DR open the capsules insted of swallow the whole thing, and i get baggy sleepy eyes. Have also tried ritalin, that i did not go good for meg... But any recommendations on tips for the baggy eyes and the mood swing? To get the optimal help. | ADHD |
There are so many “tainted” things and potential triggers everywhere that sometimes reading, talking to people, tv, music is all too much or I just fear some new obsession will begin. I kind of feel like if I could just literally sit in silence with zero external stimulation forever maybe I could avoid the horrors of everything but obviously it wouldn’t help, my brain goes into overdrive when I’m sitting still doing nothing. I find holidays and weekends immensely stressful, it’s very hard to enjoy things at the moment. | OCD |
I've recently begun to wonder whether my (young) son could possibly be on the autistic spectrum. Initially, I thought his reluctance to communicate (in some situations) might just have been shyness, however, there are one or two other behaviours which might put him on the spectrum, so we have arranged for a professional assessment. Reading more about the topic, I found that ASD kids often tend to have one or both parents with ASD, and in fact, this diagnosis makes total sense for both myself *and* my wife (although of course, we will try to get a professional opinion on that as well). I can't believe it never occurred to me before, but better late than never... However, my wife comes from a culture in which I think it's fair to say mental health issues are stigmatized *even more* than in Western culture.
That being the case, what are some (preferably family-friendly) movies which might help destigmatize issues around mental health in particular, and especially ASD? Or at least open the conversation on that topic? The themes I'm looking for are things like how common mental health issues are, people with issues making valuable contributions to society - anything positive. There are few lists on the web, but a lot of them aren't really family friendly - I was wondering if anyone on this sub had seen anything inspiring? | aspergers |
Hi! I'm new here, I noticed OCD reddit is pretty active and I found out a lot of new info about this disorder here, so I decided to make an account to find out more about OCD and get some advice and help.
Basically since my childhood, like maybe 10 years old, I had all kinds of rituals that concerned my family, diseases and many other things but I won't write more about them cause I already took care of these obsessions and they don't bother me anymore.
Everything was fine but later on these rituals became more mental. I started ruminating a lot, trying to resolve some stupid problems that just happened to come across my mind, started overthinking, doing some things in an exact number of times. At the beginning I was able to reach a conclusion with my ruminating but later or this "resolving" a problem started to be more and more difficult and finally I couldn't find any answer to my stupid questions. Just to stop these sudden streams of intrusive thoughts I made some kind of "spells" to stop me from thinking, I tried to redirect my attention to other things or simply ignore the thoughts. I managed to do it for a long time but suddenly (it happened this year and I'm 22 years old now) something broke. I can no longer ignore the thoughts, my mental spells stopped working, everything I built up these many years stopped doing their job. I think that surpassing it all wasn't the best idea.
I didn't know what happened, what was going on. I thought I was loosing my mind, that I have no control over my thoughts and my mind. I started searching for some info and I found out about OCD, especially so called pure OCD.
I have never suspected that these things could indicate some mental disorder, I thought about it as a part of my personality. But the symptoms are so on point.
Because of this discovery I managed to find some ways of fighting this disorder, I even got read of some of my old obsessions, I stopped repeating my "spells".
But on the other hand I developed a new obsession and I think it's an obsession about getting rid of my obsessions. It's so hard to even call it in a normal way. It's like having OCD about having OCD. I really try to find ways to fight this disorder. I know about ERP and it really helped me with some of my other worries. Mindfulness is helping too. But I just don't know what to do with this one. Whatever I come across some new way to fight this OCD, my mind is just like "you can't do that", "no, it's wrong", "what if it won't work" and it just won't stop. It's really exhausting. Whatever I think my mind always finds a way to make it sound like a threat and tells me I can't do it or that it won't work.
For example lately I read a great article about the art of letting go. I thought it was an amazing idea and I should incorporate it into my life and just let go of my every worries, intrusive thoughts, compulsions and obsessions. It sounded like the best idea to fight this disorder. It worked for some time but my mind is acting up again, saying all of what if scenarios for example "what if you can't let go", "what if it won't work", "you can't let go" and etc. and I just can't stop thinking about it and now I even think about what does it even mean to let go of something of if I can do this. Ahh, I really just want to change my brain or something, I want to stop thinking, stop worrying so much.
Sorry for the vent but today is especially bad and I wanted to just finally get it off my chest. If you have any advice or some links to videos, articles, I would really appreciate it. | OCD |
(look at my last two posts here and you'll see why)
I've had all these people telling me nothing bad is gonna happen and that they had the same fear and nothing happened yet my brain doesn't care. Since it's a religious fear, there's just too many what ifs i'll never be able to properly answer. I'll literally have to wait and see and this is killing me because this waiting is gonna take years. My brain just accepted that this is going to happen and i don't feel like doing anything anymore because what's the point anyway? I have an important test tomorrow and all i can worry about is this. I can't concentrate on anything and i don't feel like eating anymore. I just feel miserable. My ocd last hit this bad when i was a kid (and for the same reason) and not even dying would make me feel better | OCD |
So this has been one of my obsessions for almost three years at this point. In October a few years ago there was a fire in my small town which burned about a block entirely down, which started a spiral. I had consistent nightmares about fire, I would watch videos of houses burning, I watched documentary after documentary on fire-related disasters, and obsessed over fire safety and prevention. Over the past year this fear has somewhat subsided, but I've noticed a recent uptick in this obsession. I find myself unplugging power strips before I leave the house, becoming stressed about electrical fires, and I smell smoke sometimes when there's not even a fire in the fireplace. The past few weeks I've had several nightmares in one night about fire, and my intrusive thoughts have gotten worse about it. I'm absolutely terrified to lose all of my belongings. Here are some of the thoughts that I've been struggling with
"God is going to punish/humble you by having your house burn down because you're materialistic." (Religious trauma coming through on that one. I'm not longer affiliated with a church of any kind)
"You're going to come home to a pile of smoldering rubble tonight."
"If you don't unplug the power strip your house will burn and it'll be your fault."
"The fire department would never get here quick enough to save anything."
"If a fire starts in the night you'll certainly burn to death."
I just wanted to know if anyone else is having similar experiences with Intrusive thoughts about property destruction? Any ways you use to help ease it? I really thought that my obsession had subsided , but I've recently been proven wrong.
Edit: At one point it had escalated to auditory hallucinations, where I would hear a fire crackling and popping when I was lying in bed in silence. This started my not so good habit of sleeping with an earbud in so I couldn't hear it, unfortunately. I moved to a place in tornado alley after that, but thankfully no obsession over tornadoes spawned from that. I think that's because I can't prevent a tornado like I could prevent a fire. Have you ever had auditory hallucinations due to one of your obsessions, or could this be an indication of something more serious than OCD? | OCD |
Hey guys, I'm kinda new to this subreddit. It's gonna be a long post but i'll try to keep my words short.I'm a 22 year old music producer/ audio engineer from India. Last month I've been diagnosed with ADHD. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression 3 years before and have been taking meds for it but it only made me always sleepy, it didn't do anything about my inattentiveness and I had a huge struggle with letting my emotions out. So last month, I had a counselling session with a therapist and talked about all of the problems I had with life. She told me that these were symptoms of ADHD, which I never had a clue about before in my life. Apparently, I had the symptoms since childhood but everyone overlooked it and called me "**lazy**". I remember the dreadful PTA meeting convos : "**He's really brilliant but very lazy, he has the ability to study well but he wont**". I had poor grades in high school, was always not paying attention to class and always made impulsive decisions without thinking properly.
So last month I met a psychiatrist to whom I told all of my problems to. She started prescribing Atomoxetine for ADHD and Lorazepam for my insomnia but neither worked on me. Currently I am taking Bupropion in the morning and Flupentixol - Melitracen in the night along with Oxcarbazepine. Nothing have been working for me rn, it just made everything seem more apparent and worse. I've recently quit my job because I couldn't focus properly on work.Here are some of the symptoms I have :
* Easily distracted by something I hear or see. Hard to pay attention to something important, even if it's interesting to me. Can't finish projects at time and usually start them just before the deadline.
* Spacing out and daydreaming in the middle of something important
* Poor memory , I always forget what I was thinking or saying mid-sentence and I freeze not knowing what to do. I forget what happened 4 hours ago so I'm always questioning myself if I took my medications or not, I only remember something important if I see or hear something related to it. I always forget the things I buy from stores, only to remember it when I almost reach home.
* Feeling disconnected from reality and with no presence of mind
* Always impatient and short-tempered, it takes just a little minute thing to piss me off
* Everything I've done recently had been impulsive, without thinking about it clearly and regretting later.
* Hypersensitive to everything , touch, smell, taste, sounds and emotions
* Always overactive, always have to do something with my hands and feet (example : randomly clicking my mouse and keyboard and always want to push and click buttons, always stretching my fingers and tapping on desk, always have the need to walk around and think about something)
* I do have the "***hyperfocus***" ability but only when it comes to music, audio and video games.
* Really bad at communication with others, always have to avoid social events and being the center of attention. I always think of a good and witty response to a conversation after the conversation died.
* Having to read or hear a sentence at least 7 times to understand some of it
* Having to rehearse what I'm going to say to someone at least 10 times........... only to forget what I was gonna say
* Always assume the worst of something that's happening, I misunderstand about the tone and words of someone and think about it negatively
* Intrusive thoughts about violence and sex in the middle of something, which I cannot wipe away.
* Always feel like I have nobody to talk to and cry about my issues, I always push everyone away.
At times, I feel like I am lying to myself and think "You're fine, you just need to be less lazy". I honestly don't have a clue about what is happening to me, I can't properly explain what I'm feeling to anyone, which is why I can't talk to a therapist properly. I am not able to enjoy things that I used to love before. I'm honestly scared of thinking positive about something because every time I do, something bad happens and I'm left disappointed. I was thinking about making this post a week ago, but I either forgot about or thought "**no that is pointless**". Mental issues are kind of a stigma here in India, either you are "okay, its just in your head" or "you are a psycho, you should be locked in an asylum" . Nobody here even knows about ADHD properly, so I don't think I'll get the proper treatment I deserve. I am at the deepest point of my life, I am tired. What should I do?
TLDR : Diagnosed with ADHD after a long time without noticing it, feeling hopeless and left out, hit rock bottom in my life both financially and mentally, have no clue what to do and currently seeking advice about everything. Would love some insight on this. | ADHD |
So I had a really bad response to mushrooms(the psychedelic) and it was very traumatizing for about 2 months after at most where I could barley do anything I was scared to even leave the house and other normal activities that I could usually do without any thought Buh after I ate the 7g’s for my first time tripping on shrooms and had that experience i guess my question is, is that a form of ptsd because even the thought of tripping again gives me anxiety even tho I use to do do acid benders for about a whole week and I was really in love with acid before that experience and it’s been about a full year like next month or something and I still feel anxious about it? | ptsd |
I have a specially hard type of magical thinking. I fear guessing coincidences. For example if I think "if the next license plate I see is X it means I'll go to hell". This is awful. I fear a lot seeing plates after I think that because if I see X license plate it "confirms" my thought. Has anyone overcome this? These thoughts pop up without me controlling and I have anxiety being outside | OCD |
i split the paragraphs into categories so that if yall dont wanna read the whole thing you can just read the important bits. the important parts are “info”, “explanation”, and “achievements on my own”.
background: so i have multiple kinds of ocd (contamination, scrupulosity, etc), contamination being the worst one. i was recently hospitalized in two different places from the beginning of january to the middle of may for ocd. both places saved my life. every time i see the logo of the first place i want to cry.
info: anyway, some of my compulsions include hand-washing, mouth-washing (yes, mouth-washing), covering my mouth to talk, not talking at all, etc. my main fear/obsession is that germs can get to your hands and mouth if theyre not covered when my trigger shows up. my trigger is really embarrassing so im not gonna get into that.
explanation: so basically if the trigger pops up, even if i dont make actual contact with it (which i never do), i “have to” wash my hands and mouth or else i “cant” eat. because of this, for years ive been talking while covering my mouth. and for about a year, i completely stopped talking when with family. i would make these humming noises that sound like words. after a while, my brain convinced itself these “germs” (that dont exist btw) are also in the bathroom. so to avoid feeling the need to wash my hands and mouth, i just wouldnt shower properly. id still wash my hair in the sink and clean myself with a towel and soapy water, but just not in the shower. thats around the time my mother decided it was time to have me hospitalized. i wouldnt talk, i wouldnt use the shower, etc. it was debilitating.
achievements during program: thanks to the second program i was in, i can now talk again. i still cover my mouth and ask for reassurance, but im talking. also in the second program, my therapist had me slowly start showering a normal amount. at first it was once a week. then every 5 days. then every 3 days. im not an active person, so i dont really sweat or get dirty at all, so technically speaking i only need to shower every 2-3 days, so im now at the recommended frequency of showers. this all happened about a month ago, and im still going strong :)
ACHIEVEMENTS ON MY OWN!: so now the whole reason im making this post. i discharged from the second program a month ago. i relapsed with the compulsions a little bit (i started washing my hands more, thats all), but i dont care. because the hand-washing got more frequent, i decided to work on other compulsions. so a week or two ago, i was taking a shower and i got to thinking a lot. where i live (chicago burbs) the mask mandate is being lifted, so i kept thinking “wow forget covering my mouth with a mask on at work, im gonna look even more dumb covering my mouth without one on because at least with a mask i could play it off as lifting so people can hair my better”. so when i was done, i went downstairs like usual. i then looked for a mild trigger (one in a photo) and talked. without covering my mouth. i did it. i told my brother and he got happy. but i wasnt stopping there. the trigger is worse when its irl. again, im not saying what it is but it has to do with people. so i told my brother to stand up. i did it again. i talked without covering my mouth. i hadnt done that in about a year. i showed my parents and they were so happy. they all said the same thing: “i havent seen your teeth in a year... they look so good!” (i had stopped talking around the time i got my braces off last june/july). so now, every time i take a shower i practice talking without covering my mouth. im doing really well. i still have to wash my mouth after, but i dont care. its progress. | OCD |
Hello everyone I am asking, as a person without autism, how to approach my partner with autism about my getting a tattoo. I've always wanted a tattoo but hadn't gotten one by the time my partner and I started dating. He does not respond well to big sudden changes and I've talked to him about the possibility of my getting a tattoo at some point soon and he isn't very on board with the idea. When I've discussed it with my friends (both those who know he is OTS and those who don't) they say that I shouldn't be controlled by a man and I should just do what makes me happy. I somewhat agree with them but this seems to be a different case and I want to make sure he is comfortable with such a large change. Does anyone have advice for approaching this situation, or has anyone else been in a similar situation? | aspergers |
Hi, everyone. Mods: if this subreddit isn't the place for this query, I apologize and by all means delete it.
I am in the market for a pair of noise cancelling headphones and was wondering if anyone had any advice, or any particular models that have worked well for them. I am looking for over-the-ear headphones (I really can't stand the way earbuds feel) and ideally I'd get wireless headphones, but I would love to hear about anyone who has had a good experience with wireless or wired headphones.
Thanks in advance! | aspergers |
Do yall ever think about something and then forget it and go crazy because you cant remember it and your getting compulsions revolving reremembering the thought but you can do it because ur brain is so foggy | OCD |
I was 20 years old - over half of my lifetime ago - when I found out a friend had been diagnosed with something called Asperger Syndrome. His diagnosis, and moreso the fact he shared it with his friends and work colleagues, put his life's social and work difficulties into a new, manageable perspective. My friend was very fortunate, in that he came from a great family home with two caring, intelligent parents who raised him well. His diagnosis was assured, and his strong support network of friends and family rallied around him in life.
Professional letters were provided to his employers, giving guidelines for how he should be treated and what special conditions he should be allowed. Friends took his differences into account and cared for him. And while we were not particularly close, I always felt a strange affinity with him - I understood exactly where he was coming from, though I did not know why. Never really thought about it.
It took until my early 40's before my own Asperger diagnosis.
By that time, I had been raised by a struggling young single mother. In my first 8 years of schooling, I was shuffled between 7 different schools across 5 cities and 2 countries. I struggled through high school half-invisible to teachers and students both, despite being one of the highest academic achievers. I had no sense of what university really was, no role models, no guidance, no mentor, so I missed out on that. My non-typical behaviour and the chronic depression which resulted from my increasing social isolation, incrementally drove away the few friends I had. Extended family likewise. I lucked into the semblance of a career, and after 12 years of service I was fired due to no longer being able to physically work in the office, and not being able to explain why. There were no goodbyes and certainly no tears from the staff.
12 years of awkwardness, not fitting in, not being "one of the boys yarning around the lunch circle". Some staff from other offices who knew nothing of me except that I was different, treated me abominably, tersely ordering me around in emails and referring incredulously to their superiors as if to say "*who IS this freak???, and why is he working here???*", and ultimately taking it upon themselves to decree that they would not work with me again, effectively shutting down my future career options.
When I eventually had to start taking one of the strongest antidepressant medications that exists, a side effect was a 10+kg weight gain, which my boss laughingly joked about in front of the open office on one of the rare days I forced myself to be present. It really hurt, and I did not have the social wherewithal to explain through the cloud of smirks.
Before my closest co-worker passed away halfway through my time there, I wrote him a heartfelt letter explaining what it had meant to work with him, how I admired him, and how I would miss him terribly. My letter was read out at his subsequent funeral by his grieving wife, after which my supervisor turned to me with evident surprise and quietly said "*so, you're NOT a complete asshole after all!*".
The time I forced myself to travel to a large sister office in another city, by myself, with Asperger Syndrome, and spend the day introducing myself to each of the 30-odd staff there - while fighting off panic attacks the entire time - took more courage, I suspect, than any other staff member in that company will ever experience in a day of their working life. And the result? An office full of people who didn't like me. I wasn't "fun and outgoing", you see; a criteria the company now lists in it's job vacancies. I was, once, you know. Before, well, everything...
It's now 7 years since I was eventually fired, and I have not worked again - probably never will. Who would want me now? And could I even handle another such merry-go-round? The struggle since, with joblessness added to the list of limitations I already have to deal with, has been immense and constant.
This is a snapshot of what it's really like to live with mental health problems in life and in work, when you are not fortunate enough to have a strong support network - and that is most of us. This is what it means, when the world looks at itself and says "we are not good at dealing with mental health, and need to be better".
I know there are other people out there just like me who are having a really hard time reconciling themselves and their relationships with their colleagues. My advice is to pursue a diagnosis hard and early, and then be open and frank about it with everybody who matters. If I'd had the timely opportunity and wisdom to take that path, I would have. The worst that could happen then - i.e. rejection - could not possibly be worse than what I experienced.
And perhaps one day society will reach the point where non-typical people are better accepted, included and nurtured for who they are, without need for an official letter saying so. Inclusion. Tolerance. Diversity. Caring. Isn't that what we're striving for? | aspergers |
Hey y’all,
I’m very curious - my girlfriend and I both have ADHD and are poly and I wonder how many of y’all are too?
In previous relationships I have become incredibly bored of partners once the dopamine bombs of new romance wears off, including sex.
I’m just curious to see if anyone else experiences this too; if you’re not poly, how do you cope with relationship boredom? | ADHD |
I just wanna die. I got no real job, no talents, no nothing. I could just dissapear and no one cares. Just another low life removed of the planet. Again this close to just do it.... don´t know why I even try ffs. | depression |
I (23 f) struggle like hell to make friends. I can’t pick up on social cues and it kills me. I get taken advantage of so, so easily because I’m kind. Time after time I get stung. I’m just...I just can’t do it anymore. I’m not even going to open up. I’m done. The only nurotypicals I’ll hang out with are those who work with autistic people or have family members who are autistic. | aspergers |
I’m 16, and today I was at an extracurricular after school club thing.
I try so goddamn hard to not interrupt, to not yell, to not make random spacey comments that don’t make sense to anyone but me but I just talk before I think. Multiple people told me to tone it down and to just focus and it made me feel so terrible. I had to hold back tears through the rest of the thing. I feel like no matter what my best isn’t enough.
It’s obviously 10x better on meds but I’m not on them right now because I haven’t found one that doesn’t make my temper really really bad or kills my emotions. It sucks that I have to basically sedate myself so that I’m not a burden on other people but idk what else to do honestly.
Just a rant. | ADHD |
So I’ve been through a lot, as we all have. I would really love to be able to go to a therapist and help myself through that. However, I can’t exactly discuss things in enough detail that it would be helpful without self incriminating myself and others. I’m not sure what to do about that. So how does that work? I know about doctor patient confidentiality stuff but I don’t know where the “line” is I guess. | ptsd |
So basically I’m an 18F who’s been struggling with OCD for several years now. Recently, it’s gotten so bad that I rarely get out of bed anymore. I suffer primarily from death and existential OCD and it causes me really bad anxiety and zaps my will to do anything. I belong to a religious family and I used to say I was religious too but my OCD has really ruined that for me. My psychiatrist started me on 20mg of Prozac and it doesn’t seem to be working so far but it’s only been like four days. I have been experiencing increased anxiety though if anyone knows if that’s normal? Anyway I figured I’d come here and vent :( | OCD |
I have brain fog and i dont know if its lack of dopamine or something more complex like psychological factors that just dont let you feel pleasure... does anyone also deal with apathy? If so then how to cope? | OCD |
my grandfather and nephew passed away less than 4 months apart from each other and my depression has gotten worse. the only reason i dont kill myself is because i dont want to cause a chain reaction in friends and family. i just want to not live anymore. its not worth it, after graduation you work until you die unless you get lucky and become rich and dont have to worry. i want to start cutting again but it will break my 3 year streak. im so riddled with trauma that i feel like a fucking vegetable as i walk around and dissociate 247. i just want the pain to end. | depression |
title explains. idk if i regret it, i want to get better but i can never imagine doing that even though i should because everyone says it but maybe i just want to stay like this forever. i feel conflicted on this because i feel bad and she had done something similar before, a ritual is now completely gone but i don't think I'm ready to give up this compulsions after 7+ years. it is comforting
is that ocd talking though?? i can't fucking trust my own thoughts it is out to get me with every thought i have, manipulating my feelings. i am medicated, it has helped with other rituals but i can't shake this one. not ever | OCD |
I’ve tried NAC (3g/d) and inositol (18g/d) with no benefit.
Is there anything else worth trying? | OCD |
I don’t know how to feel right now other than completely triggered and anxious.
She made a website stating he was a rapist. I told her to take it down months ago when I found out. I guess she did a shitty job at permanently deleting it because it’s partially still there when you google his name.
I was not ready to tell my story publicly and honestly I’m terrified of his wrath.
He has been texting mutual friends trying to find her number to inform her that he will sue.
I’m afraid he will sue me too. His family is very wealthy.
I wasn’t ready to tell my story yet.
I’m scared. Any advice and support is greatly appreciated right now. | ptsd |
for some reason i keep getting the same person popping into my head anytime i think about a scenario or i see a girl i immediately get the thought they look like that person and this is a person i dont want in my mind at all. is this ocd? | OCD |
I saw someone say something like this, possibly on this sub recently, and it's really stuck with me.
Other people don't really understand what it's like to be sitting there, SCREAMING AT YOURSELF inside your head to get up and do things that need to get done, but being entirely unable to actually do it.
I've never heard a more relatable analogy for how it feels. | ADHD |
I'm 25 years old and I'm a female. I've struggled with ocd nearly all my life. It's gotten to a very bad point though. It's genuinely scaring me. It's got me believing that I could watch cp and not react to it. Even though I am not attracted to children, it's like an urge to view it. I have not viewed any and I never would but the thought of feeling like I could and not care is making me very depressed. I can't kill myself as I'm scared. I don't know what to do. | OCD |
I know I probably shouldn't hate myself for something I have no control over but it has ruined my life in so many ways. Thier are times where I'm trapped in my room because I've convinced myself that if I move my family will die. OCD controls every second and every aspect of my day. I can't live a functional life because of it. I also feel so embarrassed every time I have a tic or compulsion in public, even though I shouldn't be. I'm trying to accept myself, with my mental illnesses but it's so hard when thier killing me. | OCD |
I always feel the need to flex my leg muscles constantly, it’s really annoying, is that OCD ? | OCD |
Struggling today with healing not being linear. I had a few good days at work, then some unknown thing triggered a panic/flashback after group therapy last night and I had to get a ride home. Today little flashback aftershocks and helplessness spirals keep coming for me, so I stayed home from work. They are being understanding, but I can't help but feel eventually they will get tired of being patient with me.
Also, my therapist asked me to imagine a container to put all this shit into between sessions,and I am super creative but I can't do it, so now I also feel like a failure and unhelpable.
Still here. Still alive. | ptsd |
Today I got some books delivered from Target. All of the books were in good condition but noticed one of the edges on the cover of the book was folded. I got really annoyed since it was brand new but tried really hard not to be bothered by it. I am trying to practice to leave it as it is without overthinking and replacing/getting rid of it. I plan to get clear book covers from Amazon in different sizes to protect the books eventually. I am just going to leave the books on the shelf standing up for awhile without trying to check constantly.
I still have not had a diagnostic testing for OCD but I am on the Autism spectrum. My mom also won’t allow me to see a therapist. The last time I had counseling and therapy was in high school but after that my mom didn’t allow me to get counseling and therapy. I have tried recently talking to her again about counseling/therapy and she still won’t let me. I am very concerned about the obsessive thoughts I have been having and need support/guidance but it is a very difficult situation. My mom won’t even allow me to get counseling from a counselor that is at my college. | OCD |
I have never been diagnosed. I would even laugh at "OCD memes" when I was 11-ish (because I didn't really understand what it is back then). But during junior high I started doing some rituals due to my very very very strict math teacher, praying every night to rilakkuma (a Japanese cartoon bear, I prayed to it and it worked for once, so I started think of it as God) before bed that nothing bad happens during school tomorrow, putting my hairband on top of a water bottle because it "guarantees" that everything goes smooth in school.
Except from really hard schedule, my junior high could still be counted as a happy time for me and my friends, some of which even joined me doing those rituals because we were all very afraid of our math teacher. So my life continued, got into a nice high school, an (sort of) nice university, along with those rituals. In 2019, I was getting ready for an important exam, and that's when it got worse and many new rituals were added in my daily life. Whenever I see or feel an eyelash I would first categorize it as mine or unknown, mine means it would be blown off by me while making a wish (for good luck for my exam), unknown means it would be collected carefully because "eyelashes deserve respect, they're not trash". I would even talk to my dad (passed away when I was 16) to see if he "allows me to drink that coke with sugar", stood before the convenient store for 5 mins just "talking to my dad". And this went on for a year, during which my temper got really bad, for e.g. I would be mad at my mom for just walking outside my room.
Unsurprisingly, I failed my exam. It hit me really hard at first, because I thought I worked really hard, I started blaming myself because "have I made dad angry?" or "have I mistakenly thrown away an eyelash?" But then I took some time, and looked back on what I really did when studying, it's not hard to find that everyday all I did was make (unrealistic) plans, studied for a while, attention drifted away, got mad, tried to study again, got distracted again, doing rituals every now and then. So I stopped blaming myself, because I came to realize that it's not that I worked hard and failed, I wasted plenty of time doing nothing, and also I was heavily affected by ocd, which I then realized is something that has been affecting me since I was 5 (I clearly remember this because it was really scary and weird, a voice in my head said "if you don't finish drinking this whole bottle of water and turn around to look at your mom in 5 seconds she will be executed with a gun", I never associated this with my rituals before understanding what ocd is).
Long story short, it got worse because of pressure, it got better because a big failure taught me that listening to voices inside my head is mostly dangerous and at best meaningless. | OCD |
mine was being unable to leave the house every morning at age 8 before having checked multiple times that all the lights were off because i was convinced that i would be the sole cause of global warming if i didn't.
edit: i also remember bad words “popping into my head” and then having to confess them to my mom. i also used to have religious themed intrusive thoughts while praying and i just thought everyone had them. | OCD |
Hi guys!
Someone posted some helpful advice about taking meds on the days where it’s hard to get out of bed and stay away. They said to just take the meds and allow yourself to get back in bed or even go back to sleep. This has helped me be less hard on myself on rough days and made the rough days better because I still got the meds in me and the chance to turn my brain around, get up and make the day much better after they kick in. | ADHD |
I've had self awareness issues all my life that lead to disordered eating. I'm well for the most part & have improved in the recent years but one that I still have a hard time with is to eat in front of others, especially if I'd be the only one eating. Be it a meal, a piece of fruit or candy bar, I can't seem to do it without feeling like I might throw up & pass out. Even in front of family or my partner, if they're not scranning, neither am I. I would excuse myself if I really need to eat but it's not great in public settings like the bus or on a road trip or out shopping & nobody else is eating. So I'd starve til someone else eats with me or I'm able to get alone. If anyone walks in on me eating (stranger or someone I know), I chuck my food, hide it or cram it all before they get to see me eat lol
Is this a common thing in ADHD folks or just a completely unrelated comorbidity? | ADHD |
I had a voluntary thought after pushing away and intrusive thought. The thing is I know I didn’t want that thought so now I keep asking myself why did you think that? why did you let that thought happen? even though you didn’t want it and you would never do that nor want it to happen. Is this something ocd can do, like turn into something like this? | OCD |
Anyone in here experience imposter syndrome prior to receiving their diagnosis? I certainly feel like I have many things about me that I can believe are ADHD-related. I have scheduled an appt with my pcp to discuss with them for a potential referral. How did you go about bringing up the topic to your provider and feeling validated in that?
I feel this is a hard thing to ask with most of the people in the thread actually having ADHD and do not want to come across as insensitive, I just wanted to open up an honest, understanding discussion :) | ADHD |
Ever felt so low to the point all you could think about is leaving this universe. yeah well, i know the feeling. in my opinion it's a such an awful feeling i wouldn't even know how to describe it. i felt like my mind got attacked with negative thoughts a million times a day. i had these horrible feelings on the inside of me that i didn't know how to express. sometimes i would get so sad , i would start to feel sick to my stomach. my mind would feel clouded and the world looked so dark like there was no purpose for anything. this was all in my MIND. my thoughts took over me. i had no guidance in what i could do to better myself and better my mental state. i never talked about my depression. i was able to talk about it once i was out of that very dark place. dont get me wrong..i still experience negative thoughts but i learned how to deal with the thoughts and process them so i can move on and not be stuck on them all day. there's so many techniques in this world that can help us get some headspace and that can help us get through the hard times. some of us are just different and we over think everything but i think this makes us special. once your mind starts to over think we can turn a switch and we can focus our mind on the positive things and train our mind to think with the thoughts we actually want. it all has to start within ourselves. the answers are inside of us. | depression |
I’m 26 years old now. If I don’t shape up and recover from all the heartbreak, professional disappointment, and false starts and fake friendships, I’m pulling the plug on myself. | depression |
Hey everyone, hope everything’s going well. I thought I was going crazy, but browsing through these forums it is refreshing to know many people are going through similar situations. I appreciate all of you.
About less than a month ago I started driving alone. Week by week, I have noticed my anxiety going higher and higher about driving. It has gotten to a point if I look away for half a second and drive over a crack in the road I start worrying about if I hit something without knowing, even though rationally I know it was just a crack in the road. Then I’ll circle back or make a U-Turn to double check regardless of if rationally I remember a crack in the road coming. Then I’ll obsessively check the news and reports about whether anything happened in the area where I was driving EVEN AFTER scanning the area. However the next part is what really starting to affect me.
Recently, I have been obsessing over every scratch, scuffs, or scrape I find on my car. Not because I care that much about the condition of my car. But because my mind keeps circling around a) Is this scratch new or old? b) Did you scrape another car and not realize it? c) If you did and drove away is this a hit and run and are you going to jail?
It’s crazy because I just trained for a couple of months to get my drivers license and was totally fine when I drove with my dad or instructor. But now every time I discover a new scrape or scratch, no matter how small my mind obsessively replays every possible scenario where I could have unknowingly scratched my car against another car while driving on the road. Small parking lots are just completely off limits for me at this point. My mind tells me it could have only happened from my doing. Then I worry about being wanted for it and my future being ruined, affecting my ability to focus on school and friendships. I almost just want to quit driving altogether to avoid this stress.
Has anybody else gone through this? If so has anything helped you out. I was thinking of getting a dashcam and sensors to assure myself that everything is okay. | OCD |
I hate this, especially considering it’s my fault. I converted a song to an mp3 on school wifi to put on my Walkman and since I’ve been absolutely scared shitless they’ll find out (they track the internet) and fine me a lot of money I don’t have or get me in big trouble
My dad told me it was legal as long as you don’t sell it or give it away but their internet policy doesn’t say so. I hate the ambiguity of the policy too, a punishment could be anything from a written note to expulsion and it’s entirely up to the punisher, I deleted the song and all my others off my computer so I wouldn’t be doing it anymore, I hate ocd about getting in trouble when there’s so much ambiguity, I just kinda need someone to talk to if that’s alright
Edit: now I’m afraid they’ll be able to track this post and find out even if they wouldn’t have otherwise. Ugh | OCD |
I am 18 years old. I was may be 10 when I was trying to discover my body by touching with my peers 2 other girls around my age we were all just curious we stopped when we got caught by our families we didn’t get punished cuz it’s normal for kids in this age to discover their bodies in that way that is not what concerns me though at the same age I touched 2 boys private areas their ages were 5-6 I guess. It was just once and I recognised that it felt weird to do that with younger children so I stopped although those boys were curious too and never did that again to anyone in my life. I started having thought like this “ you are a bad person”, “you should kill yourself”, “you hate pedophiles and molsters but have you asked your self if you were one of them?” I am not a pedophile or a child molster I don’t have thoughts or fantasies about doing that to a child I am very known to be good with children my sister and brother trusted me with their children these thoughts don’t even get triggered while being around children in general so what the hell is wrong with me! Those 2 boys and 2 girls were my cousins it never affected our relationship we still laugh about this. Why I have thoughts about being a criminal although I was just a child ? I aslo have other intrusive thoughts regarding cleaning I don’t spend hours cleaning of course but even If I just finished cleaning the bathroom or my room some missed up thoughts will come like “You are dirty you should wash your self with bleach” or once when I was in the medical centre there was an old lady who had some issues with her knees she asked me to switch my ticket with her which was 79 and mine was 80 since she was in a lot of pain I refused and told her she can sit on my seat if she is in a lot pain instead of standing up but I will not switch my ticket and I started having thoughts like “ you are a bad person for doing that” “ one day you will be that lady and you will receive the same response” etc… I don’t act according to those thoughts but what the fuck is wrong with me why I have such missed up thoughts about being a bad dirty person or a criminal I know that I deal with depression and I am used to depressive thoughts but this is new to me I am obviously not looking for a diagnosis I just want to know if any body had similar thoughts I will ask my therapist about when I get the chance but what the fuck is this | OCD |
I don’t know what to do anymore I feel like I’m losing my mind, I can never form close friendships or relationships anymore and in turn that makes me more lonely and depressed. Anyone else feel like they’re incapable of true love? | depression |
Just curious.
How do you think an Aspie society would differ from our current society?
I would think we would be more advanced in technology.
NT's would have it difficult instead of us. We would say things like: "why does that matter" when they try smalltalking or "No, I'm not looking you in your eyes, that's weird, I can't focus that way" :p.
We would have noise canceling headphones everywhere and surpressors on noise causing vehicles. Maybe also walls that block sound. Maybe also a lot of people wearing sunglasses.
A lot of people would work from home, maybe?
There would also be a democracy with lots of debates, I think.
There might be less war? Because we tend to reason more.
Social skills wouldn't matter that much. A job interview would come down to skill only.
Maybe more people could turn their special interest into a job. | aspergers |
I've been severely depressed since my teens, I'm 32 now. Everyone I spoke to about it when I was younger would say "don't give up life gets better etc". Has it happened for anyone yet?
I've not done badly in life, I've always had jobs I've hated but in that regard I never expected better for myself since I screwed school up. However I'm married to my best friend, we have a dog and a house so all things considered I feel like I should be happier.
I've got a bunch of great reasons to live right there, but I can't shake the fact I feel like I don't deserve them. On paper I should be happy, I'm considerably luckier than 99% of the world. I can't shake that all consuming blackness.
Has anyone found the turning point yet? I've never found antidepressants that have had a long term positive effect. What worked for you? | depression |
I feel so out of place and I feel like nothing is real, nobody is real. I feel like someone or something huge is missing from my life and I don’t want to do this anymore. Everything up to this point has just gone completely wrong, bad things keep happening, it’s weird to be isolated and have absolutely nobody. How did things end up this way. I can’t imagine ever feeling different because I feel like this is my true self, it’s like I don’t want to get better and I just think it’s impossible to ever not feel like this every day. | depression |
I don’t think I can do this anymore. It’s killing me. OCD anxiety and depression are eating me from the inside. I am a completely different person than what I used to be. I can’t get a break from the never ending thoughts. I’m exhausted yet I barely sleep. I convince myself of hypotheticals and they then become my reality. I’ve never felt more alone and I don’t know how much longer I can live like this. | OCD |
I am always filled with anxiety, i feel tired and sad all the time. i get have few points throughout the days where i feel happy but i mostly am sad. There are points throughout the day where i feel like im watching a movie through my eyes and i cant control my own body. I don’t want to go to the doctor to get something diagnosed because i don’t want anyone to be worried. I have no reason to feel depressed yet i do. | depression |
I like creative writing and I have a few ideas for some podcasts I really want to see come to fruition but every time I start writing I feel the urge to make it some broad, sweeping story with interesting themes and a full background and lore and complex characters. Any time I build something--either physically or in a game like Minecraft--it has to be the most spectacular thing ever designed. When I write music it has to be complex and brilliant, and it winds up taking up all my time. I'll spend all my time researching and writing backstory and never actually write anything. How can I just...do things without spending too much time overthinking it? | ADHD |
i used to have them all the time, but now whenever i sleep anywhere that isnt home, i get super anxious about doing something weird in my sleep?
like what if i say something gross or do smth strange and it just makes me scared to fall asleep.. i mean i eventually do but then when i wake up its like. What if i DID say something weird and they'll kick me out in the morning?
i have no history of sleep talking at all.. i hate ocd and how it even infiltrates the most basic/little things | OCD |
I honestly just feel alienated, i was out with friends and i'm included and everything is fine, then i get some minor flashbacks and dissociations, get them under control (taking around 2 hours) and not one of them asked how i was doing, or basicslly even noticed; likely because they dont know how i feel, because i dont talk about it... just a few weeks ago i opened up to one of my closest friends about some stuff, since then the contact basically faded... i've known them for years now, and this isnt the first time this happened...
It just feels like, if i dont open up about it, my actions are just not understood at all and i am percieved as weird or creepy or an outcast, but if i do i everyone just leaves... either way im alone...
I dont even think advice will help, i honestly dont feel like its on me to change anything about the way i handle communicating my mh problems, i've tried so many different approaches and none of them worked; it feels like the stigma and differentness is just to much for most people, but in the end it comes back to me being alone... (on top of that it really bothers me, how egocentric all of this sounds, but how should i feel any other way, if im either alone in a crowd or actually alone?) | ptsd |
Whenever I spend more than 5 minutes still at some place my mind automatically starts focusing on following the straight lines on the walls, trying to find parallels, comparing sizes of segments, noticing asymmetries over and over as if I could fix them just by staring very hardly. And I can be doing this while talking to someone or listening, I guess it must look like I'm spacing out but in reality my mind is going places.
The thing is organising symmetrically has never been a compulsion of mine so that's why I never connected it to OCD but it feels like a mental compulsion.
Does anybody else do this? | OCD |
Theres nothing wrong with being a parent of an autistic kid, but autism parents have more access to information about autism and dealing with autism than actual adult children. Whenever I try to look up autistic communities on facebook or online they’re dominated by mostly parents of kids with autism and its so annoying. They get more recourses than adults with autism. I understand it would be stressful to be a parent especially with a special needs kids but I feel like they get so much more attention than we do. does anyone else feel the same way I do? | aspergers |
A while back I realised I have OCD and especially round the existential theme. I have used acceptance and disputing irrational beliefs to get over these previously however recently I watched Sam Harris speak about Free Will and this has absolutely shook me to my core. I can’t seem to accept this concept as every time I try to do so I get a niggling thought that says - ( you don’t have a choice wether to accept it or not anyway) and I feel so stuck in this cycle. I feel so confused when I come to the realisation that I couldn’t have done anything different in the past. For example I didn’t choose to go to the gym today, at the time it really seemed like I had the choice to go or not to go, it really seemed that way, but then it all variables were the same in that exact same scenario I wouldn’t of went to the gym 100 times/100 (at least that’s what most people are in favour of) this seems so weird to me as this completely eliminates moral responsibility for anything if you couldn’t of done anything different? For example if I decide to go out and rob a store then I’m not responsible because I couldn’t of done anything else? Surely this isn’t correct (that’s what my intuition tells me) but my rational mind agrees with Sam somewhat and I struggle to find a flaw in his argument. If nothing is free then Am I nothing but a conscious observer to my brains impulses and my environment? Where does discipline and effort come in in this? Surely resisting impulse to do something hard like running is an example of exerting your will. But then they even argue your effort levels on a given day are out of your control. I understand effort and discipline are still important to reach your goals however if Harris is right, its out of your control when and how you use them. Anyway, this has left me completely obsessing over this and trying to find free will constantly for days, I’m barely eating or doing anything productive, my dreams are vivid and it’s making me so depressed. Can anyone help me with any advice at all or show me if I’m missing something. Or recommend any really good OCD specialists I can deal with. | OCD |
so honestly i’m not sure if this is my ocd or if this is me just losing interest in my hobbies but i thought i’d post about it on here anyway. i love movies and they’ve been a big part of my life for a while. but for the past month now i can’t watch a movie without intrusive thoughts like “you don’t actually like movies” or “you’re just pretending to enjoy this” or “this is a waste of time”. these thoughts just ends up ruining the whole movie for me, and the same thing has been happening to me with tv shows as well. i can’t tell if these are ocd thoughts or my real thoughts. should i watch more movies and let the thoughts come, or take a break from watching them for a while? also i know this probably sounds really stupid but it has really been bothering me for a while :/ | OCD |
I've always been a super anxious person, but over the past 5 years it's gotten a little out of control. Actually *all* of my mental health issues have gotten worse, and as a result the anxiety ramps up constantly. That said, these past few months have been pretty solid for me because of one thing: VYVANSE.
I was diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed Vyvanse a few months ago, and it has helped TREMENDOUSLY. Seriously, I would still be unable to pull myself out of bed had I not started taking these pills. Since my first dose, I've paid off debt, started a business, become more confident, and am generally just in a better position in life. However, none of this comes without a price.
Vyvanse allows me to key in on my work for hours at a time and put ALL of my energy into being productive. So when I work 10-12 hour days (as usual), I don't tend to get that much sleep. To compensate, I pump myself full of caffeine so I can keep my eyes open throughout the day. I drink at least 2 energy drinks (\~350mg of caffeine) a day, and even those can barely sustain me. The meds can make my brain focus on important tasks, but that doesn't help if I'm not even awake to do the tasks at all.
On top of that, I'm woefully addicted to nicotine and I smoke wėed like a chimney. Both of those are only in my daily rotation because my anxiety is *so high* that I can't function without them. Of course, in the long run, this has only *added* to my massive pile of anxieties, and the resulting stress has caused me to ramp up my habit of binge-eating. The stimulants keep my appetite at bay all day long, then I totally pig out at night. Funny enough I'm actually not gaining any weight, but of course my diet is a huge factor into why I feel so nervous and shitty all the time.
Anyway, that brings me to my issue: I'm overloaded with anxiety to the point where I feel like I'm gonna start feeling some serious negative health effects very soon. The obvious solution is "just stop taking so many substances and take a break from work", but that doesn't really work here. I *just* started a business, and that in and of itself has greatly relieved a lot of my financial stress. Now that I have a steady income, "homelessness/poverty" is no longer one of my greatest concerns.
BUT, the business isn't sustainable yet. When I get to a point where I can stop hustling and relax with the clients I have, I can start taking it easy. But for now, I need to grind every day to get myself into that position. I hate that I have to do it, but if I just push through for long enough I can finally relax and feel comfortable doing so. But of course, to "push through", I need help from my meds and various addictions. If I *stop* working, or *stop* ingesting vyvanse/caffeine/nicotine/wėed, everything will fall apart and I'll have an even bigger problem to deal with.
I feel totally lost, and honestly like I'm gonna hit a wall pretty soon. My anxiety at any given moment is at an all-time high, but at the same time I feel like I'm on the precipice of something *great.* A future in which I can do what I want, when I want, and have enough money to do it without going bankrupt. That future is *possible*, I can almost taste it, but I can't get there if I stop the momentum I have now. And if I keep this up, I might go off the rails sooner rather than later.
Anyone have any suggestions/support? I could really use 'em :) | ADHD |
Hi,
I suffer from severe contamination OCD, last night a moth flew into the house and was on the floor, then subsequently flew all over my "clean area" and landed on the place where I keep my latex gloves (I wear gloves 24/7, about 150 a day) and it also landed on my phone I think.
I cant stop worrying about it and wondered if anyone had any suggestions on how I might be able to handle it. | OCD |
I’m at work right now, and one of my compulsions is that I keep looking at people. Most of the time, it’s just one person, but I keep look at him/her at least 12-13 times a day. Sometimes, it’s just one or two seconds. But I keep doing it again and again. And I feel like I’m making them uncomfortable. One of the coworkers was nice and we were talking nice in the beginning days. Now it’s just cordial, we don’t talk that much, and when we do, it’s somewhat robotic. This has happened with two or three people. And the anxiety and depression I feel when it happens is immense.
I try to say it’s my OCD doing this, but the guilt I feel at work is too much since I hate doing this. Wondering if anyone goes through the same thing with their compulsions and obsessions. | OCD |
Was recently diagnosed with OCD, although I now realize I have been suffering with it my whole life. I'm trying to stay positive so I have been trying to look at my compulsions as an oddity rather than a cause of emotional duress to feel better haha. I am just curious to see if anyone else has a similar compulsion.
I would say a majority of my compulsions are mental such as ruminating, checking, and confessing. However, I have a few physical compulsions. The main one for me is having to have my blinds or windows open at all times. My intrusive thoughts seem to go away or at least I convince myself if I am going to feel better if I open up the windows. I usually can stand to have the windows closed if I am at a friend's house, but wherever I live or am spending an extended period of time, I must have the windows opened up in some way shape, or form. My boyfriend actually finds it kind of annoying (in a joking way, he's supportive) because he's kind of a shut-in who hates windows.
Just curious to see if anyone else deals with this so I don't feel so odd haha. :) | OCD |
(⚠️Small TW for mentioning Depression and just overall a depressing post!!) I'm gonna try to make this short but detailed. English isn't my first language
I posted this somewhere else first but I feel like it fits here
For almost a year and a half I had to deal with OCD that would guilt trip me, I thought about all the things I did wrong, all the humans I've hurt, all the vrearures I've hurt, from bugs to plants. It has gotten to a point were I couldn't handle it anymore, I thought about ending it all and edgy stuff like that. I was just really depressed because of it. But things have changed. Since I've gotten out of the Hospital I stopped caring. If I accidentally hurt someone I just don't care anymore. It's like my brain shut off the things that hurt me. All the bad stuff I've done the feeling of guilt is gone.
Don't get me wrong, I don't hurt people or beings in general now that I'm "EmoTionless" I just kinda don't care anymore about things that happened ir are happening. I feel bad for not caring which is ironic, if I don't care why do I still care? Some parts of me are still there but the other half just feels numb.
That's why I made this post, I feel guilty for not feeling really guilty anymore.
I hope this doesn't seem like I'm sad about myself like "I'm such a poor thing"! Even tho I don't feel the same guilt anymore I still hope that all the bad things that happened are better now, I hope my friends are doing fine etc. It's just that I don't care anymore. All because of this damn OCD it has fD me up to a point where my brain has no other choice but to bascially delete the last humanity that existed inside me
I went from caring waaay too much to not at all and I can't do this anymore.
Thanks for reading, I hope it's not too short probably going to delete this. | OCD |
I read someone said theater studies really helped them and I thought that was interesting. Would love to hear more traditional and non traditional | aspergers |
Been dealing with this since I developed PTSD and I’m fairly certain it’s related. But anyways, I’ve noticed that when I wake up now, either in the morning, from a nap, in the middle of the night (which happens at least once a night or more for me), a lot of the times I can feel my body shaking. It’s sort of feels like my insides are vibrating. Sometimes it’s visually noticeable, sometimes it’s not. It usually takes a minute or two to subside. What’s strange is it seems to just happen randomly. It’s not like I’m waking up from a nightmare or waking up anxious or anything. I just wake up shaking and it’s the strangest thing.
I was wondering if anyone else experienced this? And if anyone knew why this is, like what’s actually going on in my body when this happens? | ptsd |
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