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20F. ADHD-PI. I have extreme emotional reactions to my best friend hanging out and telling me about other people. Now this particular friend used to be a fwb and messy feelings were involved for a brief moment but we were besties before that and agreed that we are better platonic. We’ve moved on from that and any other time im 100% at peace with that. But when it comes to her making new friends or telling me about new people shes associating with I always feel so devastated. And then it goes away.
Like we had dinner tonight and she was running late. I didn’t care at all that she was late. Then she explained that she was running late bc she was hanging out with a new co worker. They got piercings together and had a late lunch. After that I was fighting back tears the whole night and just got finished crying my eyes out in the comfort of my bedroom now that im alone.
Its not like romantic jealousy or anything. But for some reason when she tells me about doing things with other people I immediately start to feel a low sense of self worth and intense depression. I feel rejected even on a platonic level. I start having all of these intense thoughts and feelings. Thinking that im worthless, she likes those people better than me, im boring have nothing to offer, have no value as a best friend. I feel extremely insignificant,small, ugly, just like nothing. And she has never done anything to directly make me feel this way. This feeling normally lasts 10 minutes to an hour depending on the situation.
Now after ive has a chance to cry a little (or alot) and like 30 minutes have passed thats when Im able to go back to my normal self and can clearly view my response as irrational. Im still a tiny bit sad but other than that im 90% fine like nothing happened and can move on like normal.
Is this RSD? Or am I crazy? How can I get a grip with this? I try to keep it to myself bc I dont wanna be toxic. I actually want both of us to have thriving active social lives while remaining the closest of buds. I try to hide my pain and tears bc I feel so needy and crazy but she knows somethings wrong when this happens | ADHD |
Risk-takers deserve credit, but I feel my life has shown me that much of risk-taking is just a function of people realizing that they have something to fall back on if they fail. I've never enjoyed this privilege. I've always struggled and believed that any misstep could leave me in a desperate state.
I'm not sure what else there is to say, other than it's frustrating to imagine this hypothetical person that I could be if I wasn't in survival mode my entire life. | aspergers |
I’m glad to see so much support for those that have finally been diagnosed. I’m just wondering about those of you that have been diagnosed early? I’m wondering how life has been for you and have you chosen to be medicated or went off at some point? What’s life been like for you? I’m 36 and have been on adderall for most of my life. What about you all? | ADHD |
well technically today. I've been struggling with depression for such a long time. my boyfriend of what would've been two years today just left me because he couldn't see how being with this other girl hurt me so bad. he just left when he promised he loved me and would stay together forever. he just left, at my lowest point. I don't see a reason to keep going anymore. I'm only 17 but if this is life I don't want it. it hurts so bad and all people do is make promises than leave. I hope there's something to help because it hurts so bad. thank you for listening. | depression |
I’ve been thinking lately about rearranging the furniture in my room, and specifically my bed. I felt like I wanted a change of space. Plus i remembered that the last time I did it, it felt really good and refreshing.
But now that I did it, I have a really bad feeling and even cried for a bit. It feels like I made a mistake and that I shouldn’t have done it, and I know it probably sounds ridiculous cuz it’s literally just furniture, but over the past year i’ve been stuck at home and built myself a daily routine to the point where I feel extreme stress and anxiety if I don’t follow it, and my room feels like an integral part of that routine. Everything feels out of place and I feel really lost and even physically sick.
I feel like I was so comfortable in my room before, and now it doesn’t even feel like my room so my whole routine will fall apart. I know that I will probably eventually get used to it but I don’t know how to get rid of these heavy feelings.
Kinda feels like I’m attached to how my room was before, and have a lot of memories attached to it. I’m scared that this new arrangement will change my routine and even my life. I love change but also incredibly scared of it.
Am I making sense or do I just sound crazy?
EDIT: forgot to mention that I am not diagnosed with OCD. I am terrified of getting diagnosed and being told that my problems are real and have a name. | OCD |
That's it. I'm just so tired of not being able to focus on anything because I'm obsessed with my surroundings. Even in my home. I can't even think if there are other people around because i'm focused on what they're doing and analyzing whether or not they're a threat. Even if they so obviously aren't. Even just studying feels impossible. The more I think the more I want to cry. I just want to feel safe and at ease. | ptsd |
I'm not really sure how to put this into words, but I think I may have recently had a revelation. Now I've been a pretty unmotivated person for a long time, most days after school I just end up spending the rest of the day in bed scrolling mindlessly through my phone, not even being motivated to maintain hygiene or participate in hobbies. There are many things I'd like to do but just can't bring myself to do so. I'm struggling to figure out whether this is just laziness or there's something deeper. To add, I'm an extremely irritable person who gets annoyed by the smallest and most nonsensical things, I'm just a moody person in general. This week I have felt more unmotivated than I ever have before, I've kind of developed a 'don't care' mindset about certain things and have felt extremely tired, all the anxieties that have been plaguing my mind the past few months just don't seem to matter to me anymore. Is this a sign of depression? | depression |
I've reached a point where my depression isn't crippling, and my therapist wants me to start actual trauma therapy now. I feel like I've been stalling, like learning cognitive distortions that I already know. want to finally get over this: I want to get over it as soon as possible. I'm so sick of it.
But I know for a fact that I'm not ready. I don't know if there is a point where you are "ready." Whenever I have talked about it, or been massively triggered, I am out of commission for a week. I can't get any work done, like the week I'm currently in. If I talk about it tomorrow, it wouldn't throw off productivity. And I haven't been in a super fantastic mood, either.
However, I have a few worries: One, I'm going to a Halloween party, and the only female other than me that was gonna show up canceled. I don't know if I'll be comfortable being around a bunch of guys, two of which I don't know. Two, I've been thinking about (TW) >!self-harming !<since I've been triggered this week, and I don't wanna go over the edge. Three, I binge eat/starve when I get stressed. Gaining weight is a big fear of mine.
Should I talk about it or keep holding off? If I should hold off, how long should I wait? | ptsd |
I have PTSD from high school and college, and nearly every night I dream I'm back in school getting yelled at by teachers, bullied by students, getting bad grades, and never being able to understand let alone complete my work.
I know it might not sound that upsetting, but all night I'm trapped in hell and it's me against everyone at school. It feels like it goes on all night, and I wake up exhausted each day. I don't want to sleep anymore because I dream about it so often.
Sorry for the rant, it's almost 3am but I don't want to go to bed. | ptsd |
You know how everyone says it will get better? Sometimes, that never seemed to help me. Mostly because I always had this impression that better is not like anything I've known. Everything I've known has been painful and dim.
Okay, so I'm talking amongst the others and this what I have realized. (I have DID, please reserve judgement). It may seem small, but it has shifted my views.
The only reason I am still here is not because I am striving towards that pure and unscathed light at the end of the tunnel. It is because I know exactly what better is, I have experienced it so many times. It's unforgettable. I realize, the only reason why I keep going is because I am trying to trade in my misery for the happiness I know is there and can be there. | aspergers |
I have been obsessing with counting recently. It started after I had a random thought "what if I counted every intrusive thought I get", I thought that was a bad idea and I assume it got stuck because I responded with fear. Now I often get thoughts about counting something and when that something happens the counting starts automatically. It's very erratic and feels like every other intrusive thought I've had before, so I guess the counting itself is not the compulsion. It seems like the only thing that brings relief is being deeply distracted with something or searching for answers online but that too seems like I'm just avoiding the thoughts. I've had sexual, harm, etc. thoughts before and successfully overcame them, but this time I'm not sure what should I expose myself to and what should I avoid. I stopped taking my meds 4 months ago because I felt I did not need them, I got better at handling the thoughts and they had subsided, but this seems like the biggest flareup since the initial one that got me diagnosed in the first place so I'll probably start with the meds and therapy again. Does anyone have any experience with this? | OCD |
Got diagnosed with ADHD about four weeks ago, I just turned 24 so I’m relieved to finally have something to study and research that applies to this condition that I’ve had my entire life, if only I’d known sooner lol. Was taking Straterra but it made me extremely drowsy and sleepy, kinda like a zombie, which is not good for my job where I operate a forklift fairly often during the day. Talked to my doc about it yesterday and he prescribed me 5mg tablets of Adderall. Wanted to see if anyone could share some do’s/do nots while taking it and also any other little things that I should try/look into to understand my ADHD more. I appreciate any advice y’all can give!!!
TL;DR: Tips for general ADHD and prescription Adderall | ADHD |
Can anyone suggest something? Has anyone found a solution?
I’ve struggled with my weight all my life. It feels like I have zero willpower: I eat as a domaine seeking behavior and also as a self-sabotaging behavior from my depression.
I also absolutely HATE working out. I hate how it physically feels. I also have such little energy.
Oh good days I can either A) do housework when I get home, B) shower.
The idea of using those good days for workouts is not appealing at all. The very idea is frustrating!
I’ve tried making it interesting by setting up vision boards. I’ve tried using measuring tape to measure something other than what’s on the scale.
When I’ve done good in the past and kept it up for a month with good eating, I never lost more than 2lbs or noticed changes in the measurements. I gave up and felt like I failed. Once again a quitter….
I’ve tried watching hopeful weight loss stories, but the encouragement is fleeting.
I’ve tried hiring a personal trainer. The accountability helps, but I can’t afford it.
I’ve tried getting myself psyched by buying new workout clothes. Nothing seems to work.😔🥺 | ADHD |
I know I’m not having a depressive episode, and I know it’s not ‘the virus that shall not be named’ I’m just so physically and mentally exhausted and I’m looking for advice on how to try and feel better.
It’s hard to concentrate and anything that was aching slightly aches a lot now. I is feel like I could sleep for days and don’t want to. I’m too tired to even eat and too nauseous to try.
Aside from eventually having food, are their any other simple tricks and tips I should be aware of or anything concerning?
I don’t have a lot of resources so I can only do a few things by myself right now and I don’t have family or friends who can physically be here to help. (Already in therapy and take meds, no more can be done on that front)
Any suggestions would be appreciated | ptsd |
Hi. I’m not sure how to word this.
So, I’ve always tried to be more emotional and social. Since I’m here asking for advice I’m sure you can tell it didn’t work out!
My family, friends etc all say I’m cold, disgusting, a robot. Basically all the things that make me not want to have emotions.
I’ve been trying to learn to be more social as at parties, events, family gatherings, job interviews etc. I’m the guy who sits in the corner, people avoid me thinking I’m weird because of it. I have explained to them so many times that it isn’t who I am, it’s what I have that causes it. Still they seem to think I’m something I’m not. Small talk and conversations never work, no matter what I try or do they don’t work. My brain goes empty, no matter how hard I force it to work, it’s just nothing.
All I want is for them to be patient, to work with me on it but they don’t. I’ve given up at this point. Now my life consists of: wake up, bathroom, kitchen, bedroom, repeat. I’d rather be alone than be with anyone now.
They all think I’m lazy. Really I’m hurting, they don’t even know cause they won’t give me the chance to tell them my way.
At this point it just feels like I’m a guy who’s renting a room with strangers.
Yesterday I was on FaceTime to my girlfriend (don’t ask me how I got one, I still don’t know). We were talking and my mum told me that my brother’s girlfriend’s mother had past away. I said “oh, no” in my usual tone, which is just my normal tone. She got mad at that said “you are disgusting”. My gf agreed with her and said I’m cold. Later on we got into a debate about feelings, she said “you are cold, you literally have no emotions” I’ve never wanted to cry but when she said that, I wanted to hang-up the call and cry. I then tried to explain to her that I do but she was overly persistent that I didn’t.
I want to learn how to be more human. Be a person. I don’t know how to. I want to be something better that people will like and will want to stick around. I’m tired of being ‘that guy’.
I’m not sure if anyone here will have any advice on how to train my body and mind to be more emotional but at this point I’ll take what I can. I’ve tried the things that the NHS recommended, I’ve tried the things from google, YouTube, Facebook etc. Nothing works. When I start to get somewhere it’s like my mind and body just hits a reset button and it’s all over again.
I hope that someone has progressed from this, please help me. | aspergers |
I’ve been under a lot of stress lately, so of course my OCD is rearing its head again. It’s not really a problem yet, but it starts out with the little things. I want to smack myself every time I give into a compulsion. I’ve had it fully under control for a year or more now.
My oldest compulsion is making sure light switches are flipped the “right” way. If I don’t do it right I have to flip it on and off again to make it right. I just gave into that twice, flipped off the bathroom light then had to go “fix it” I realized what I was doing, but then still did the exact same thing when I turned off the hallway light right after.
Then the other day my contamination issues sprung up, I had to inspect my sandwich to make sure it was safe and felt so stupid and defeated the entire time I was checking.
I can’t go through this shit again. I don’t want it to get bad again, but my brain is rioting right now. | OCD |
Hello to all, I was diagnosed this year and after a lot of med trials settled with Elvanse 40mg. Everything was working sorta of okay but now I have some weird symptom. I have what I think it's hunger but it doesn't go away after I eat. I get sick with this med so I force myself to eat small snacks but yet after 5 minutes I am super hungry and dizzy again. Anyone has that too? Could that be a solution to fix it? Thanks guys! | ADHD |
I've been thinking a lot lately about where I am in the recovery process. I'm headed in the right direction, just of course slower than I'd prefer. But if you asked me how I know I'm going in the right direction I'd point to very small things. Which brings us to Noah. It doesn't matter what your belief is (I'm a Deist for example), I'm more focused on the story itself.
PTSD is the great flood from the biblical story. In the end there are two types of reactions to PTSD. You either try to figure out a way to survive it so you can try to move on with your life, or you succumb to it. Those of us fighting to survive are very much like Noah. We gathered what we could save and huddled inside a liferaft inside our mind. At first there is just this relentless storm. We lose all perspective as to where we are and which way we are going. It's dark, it's scary, and anxiety goes through the roof. And all through this more and more of the landmarks we once trusted simply disappear from view. Buried beneath an unfathomable deep ocean of depression.
And when the storm stops and the sun begins to shine, all we can see in its light is that vast planet-wide ocean of depression. We struggle to do most of the things we once could do quite easily. We simply don't see the point of it. How do you get to a normal life from this point? The mountains are under water. That's just too much to even comprehend. It's too large. Where do you even begin from this point when even things like mountains are under water? For all you know there's enough water there for two mountains. Or three. Maybe the weight of the water has crushed the mountains. Maybe the salt has made the land unlivable.
Even worse than the depression and anxiety is the anger of it all. The unfairness. Nobody warned you that this was even a remote possibility of happening. Rain comes in, and then it leaves. At worse you might get a small flood that causes some damage, but you pick yourself up and carry on. Rain isn't supposed to last as long as it did for you. You shouldn't have had to sacrifice so much of your life because of that fact. Damn right you're angry. And that anger comes out whether you want it to, or not.
But you eventually come to a peaceful place with it all. Where, maybe you understand why it rained for so long and that helps return a little perspective to your life. Not a lot. Or maybe just realizing the stars at night can tell you roughly where you are in the world. And then, one day, a bird brings you an olive branch. Now, someone who hasn't been through the storm would look at that olive branch and say, "Gee thanks, bird. At least now I know there's ONLY a mountain's worth of water under us. Thanks a lot". They wouldn't be as grateful for it as we would be. It's a sign the ocean of depression is headed in the right direction. It's so small and yet it's the one thing we've wished for. Something tangible. Something we recognize. And proof of the water's recession.
The hard part is understanding that the water won't miraculously go away. You aren't going to wake up one day and see that it's gone. It's slow. Painfully slow. And even when the water is gone, it's really not. The water has saturated the ground to the point that it's beyond muddy. Trying to move through it is a slow and painful process. It's like learning how to walk again from scratch with each step being hard and laborious. But it slowly gets better. At least I hope so because, as far as Noah goes, this is where I am in the story. Slogging through the mud and going as fast as I can go. Which isn't that fast in hip deep mud. Heh.
As for how the story ends? I like to think the story of Noah and PTSD ends similarly to an experience I had once in my life. I had two very bad knees. Just...godawful. I had to plan out my movements in advance so that I took the bare minimum of steps. My surgeon who replaced them told me he didn't know how I walked with them. They were that bad. So they both get replaced. Fast forward 4 months later and I'm back at work. I get up from the desk and start to do a bunch of mundane tasks when I realize I had forgotten a step so I'd have to do a bunch more walking. And that's when I realized it didn't matter. I had healed to the point that the extra steps didn't matter. I wept with joy. Because it's the mundane we miss. The things most take for granted that, for us, we would either miss due to the fog we're in or the anxiety that they cause. For anyone else they are a victory that is small. For us? It proves there is still a world waiting for us. We just have to keep finding our way to get there. At least, that's how it feels to me. | ptsd |
I recently stopped taking Zoloft as it gave me bad GI issues and made me blackout randomly. Since then I’ve felt totally fine.
Today? Fine.
Driving home? Kind of sad. I don’t know if it’s because my grandpa is leaving for MN today, or because my aunt is leaving for CA tomorrow. Or is it because my ems career is winding down?(im finishing college). Is it because I’m single?
Otherwise I feel fine. Even now, thinking about it? I feel better.
Anybody else? | depression |
I think I have it and it’s the reason I have a hard time in life sometimes.
I have hardcore insomnia: As long as I can remember I can’t fall asleep good because my brain doesn’t stop which is honestly the worst and caused so many problems already. I get bored really quickly, I’m disorganized, I have a problem getting all my thoughts in order and I can’t hide my emotions very easil, I handle out of emotions. I can’t keep up with things that take long and over months which made me feel like a failure a lot. I have a problem doing things when I don’t understand why I should do them.
So I want to get myself diagnosed or at least talk to a specialist to see if I do have it. Should I get pills? Do you guys go to therapy to deal with it? How did you alter your life after getting diagnosed? I want to do as much as possible to be able to handle life better. | ADHD |
Anyone else feel like their brain is kind of cloudy all the time. I started thinking a lot recently of how normal people think and how they feel and I've come to conclusion that they ezperience word differently. | aspergers |
I do have some hope left, but it's completely irrational. I am incompatible with the expectations placed upon me and demands needed to survive. I have lived longer than I could hope for but I'm just waiting for the next bout of happiness to come around. I spent the whole day making sure everyone around was happy while I tear myself apart inside and have no hope for the future outside of the extreme short term. My current situation is bad, and I have no energy or ideas on how to fix it because I have kept making it worse for a year. I may have to end it soon but at least I am looking forward to something tomorrow so I might be able to pull through. | depression |
I feel so out of place. I just want to go somewhere beautiful and be at peace. I want to cut off everyone and act like I was never here. I want to runaway from who I am. I’m not actually going to do it, but it sounds nice. I’m so tired. | depression |
Saw this in r/bipolar and thought it would be interesting to ask here.
For example I take my planner everywhere. My memory is so bad, I can't function without it. Yet when my boss tells me to come to a meeting, and I grab my purse or my planner and a pen, he always looks so disapproving.
Dude, I just need this so I know after the meeting what we actually talked about during the meeting! | ADHD |
Either it be a behavior, a habit, a thinking pattern, etc. | aspergers |
Hi guys,
My 8 year old has ADHD-C, and there’s something that has been sitting on my mind for a bit.
Do you guys struggle with saying the wrong words when speaking?
So for example, my son will say “It pays for” instead of “It costs,” or he will say “my students” instead of “my friends.”
If this happens to you, has anything helped? I always tell him to take a breath and slow down. I find it happens more with speech than writing. He takes drug holidays on the weekends, so I honestly don’t often get to see how his meds improve him at home.
He has had speech delays so I’m wondering if this is more an ADHD thing or speech thing.
Thoughts? Anything that has helped? Thanks! | ADHD |
I’m really really struggling. I’m tired. I feel out of control.
Last week was my best week since the OCD symptoms escalated and got really bad. I felt like me and was excited and happy to go out and do things and enjoy life.
I am coming off of lexapro, to take Zoloft and ambilify instead.
The past few days however, have been excruciating. The intrusive thoughts, compulsive behaviors, brain zaps. I feel so defeated. It was nice to feel better and stronger than my OCD. But now I failed. It’s so hard to put into words how I’m feeling. | OCD |
I know you guys are not doctors, but I need a little help. 2 years ago I went through a super stressful, sexually related surgery. For around 6 months after the surgery I was having constant “what if im gay thoughts”...HOCD like...anyway. These thoughts went away after 5/6 months of obsessing and went away for over a year. Now in stressful lockdown they kinda come back but nowhere near as bad. Can you please tell me... in you opinion do I have ocd intrusive thoughts or Sexual PTSD intrusive thoughts? Or what do you guys think? PLEASE LMK | OCD |
TW: gun violence
I’ll try to keep this as vague as possible to prevent potential triggers. Physically I’m okay, nothing happened to me in that regard. However, I now struggle with loud noises and I have a really hard time being around people who are angry or upset. It’s been over a year since it happened. Loud noises have sent me into full flashbacks quite a few times now, and it doesn’t seem to be getting better with time. I am so frustrated and embarrassed when it happens. Tonight, I was FaceTiming my boyfriend’s mom when our bedroom door slammed after the wind blew strongly through our window. I had to end the call and it took me probably another 20+ minutes to return to a semi-functioning state. I know I should probably see someone about this, but after it happened and COVID and everything, I have a really hard time going out or talking to people I don’t know.
This was more a post just to vent and get my feelings out, but any advice is definitely welcomed. | ptsd |
Hi,
I'm feeling really low and my chest hurts over something that would seem small to others. Maybe you'll understand.
My boyfriend needed his truck worked on so I picked him up at the garage, brought him to my place, he spent the night, and I dropped him to work in the morning. This was a plan we made and he was stressed out about it because he doesn't like sleeping away from home. But, it was the best solution because I'm a single mom to two girls, have work at 9 am, and his house is over 20 min away from mine. So that's a very early morning and arranging for the girls when it would be super easy for him to just spend the night. (BTW I spend two nights a week at his house and he never sleeps over at my house, he says my bed is too soft).
I have aspergers but I feel my boyfriend has something... he says he doesn't but bare minimum I think he has ADHD due to his organizational problems. I won't push any diagnosis because it's his business, but I try to be understanding.
Anyway, he did his tossing and turning and complained about the mattress at least three times throughout the night. "This bed is like sleeping on a marshmallow" "it feels even softer than when you first got it" and so on. I didn't say anything but honestly, what is the point of complaining if it isn't going to fix something and the other person (me) is doing their best to help. I showed him the ipad password and how to make coffee, because he likes to get up earlier than me. I set my alarm 30 min earlier to get him to work. I asked him to let my dogs out if he's the first one up.
So i got up, got my shower, came down. I'm always pretty confused in the morning and need a shower and coffee to wake up. First thing he says is " i didn't let the dogs out". Okkk.... Then he puts his bags in my car. He doesn't come back in. I realize he's just sitting in my car. I look and the French press is empty. I go out to ask, did you fill that all the way and drink it all or just make a little coffee? Thinking he must have just made a cup for himself and maybe I can pour more hot water over the grounds.
Nope, he filled the whole french press and drank all the coffee. He never has more than a cup of coffee in the morning so this is out of character. He's also usually very helpful and considerate, so this is further out of character. He says, "can't you just drive me to work now?" I told him I'm still very tired because I didn't get any coffee. And, I need to let the dogs out.
he says, "oh, sorry, I just kept drinking until it was all gone." I let the dogs out and drive him to work with no coffee.
When I got him to his work he didn't kiss me or say thanks or anything.
My interpretation is that he was mad I didn't drop him off at his house yesterday evening (45 min round trip) pick him back up this morning (45 min round trip) and mad that he didn't get to sleep in his own bed. But, didn't want to come right out and say it because on some level he knows that's not fair considering all the balls I have to keep in the air.
Now, I am supposed to be doing my job but I just feel so wretched. | aspergers |
I’ve been with my partner for nearly a year now and quite early on in our relationship he told me about his ASD that he suffers with.
He doesn’t really like to talk about it and I find it to be a bit of a struggle sometimes and was hoping I could have some help with a couple things, I’d be really grateful:
I try to translate his actions into what I think his intentions are using my frame of reference (I use empathy and sympathy for most of my feelings toward others personally), but is this the right strategy or am I approaching it the wrong way?
Are there any useful books or websites for helping me to understand ASD at a deeper level?
Is there an easy way to be able to tell whether he is joking or being serious in a message other than asking? I understand communication is key, but I don’t want to come across condescending by asking every time he makes a joke by message.
Any useful advice or places to start would be hugely appreciated. I love this man so much and I want to be a better partner for him. | aspergers |
I hope this is okay. My partner has diagnosed ADHD, my question is when things go wrong for a long period of time they go really wrong. He washes over them like it doesn't exist until eventually I snap (I do talk to him that there's an issue). When there's the eventual snap he acts like "well I did try on X day which means I've been trying".
The issue is he is completely blind/ignoring, I don't know, to the fact it's been going on for weeks. He honestly acts like he never even sees it only the day he tries his hardest. So either I have to let all the negative hurt just go (which isn't fair on me) or I need to understand what's happening. I'm really trying to understand, I really am.
I have my own health issues and it's just compounding things. I was wondering if anyone had any insight? All I can find online is current time blind? For instance, being late to an appointment or becoming hyperfocused which doesn't sound the same as him ignoring that days/weeks exist?
I'm sorry if this isn't allowed, I'm just desperate for help in understanding and trying to help him. He gets so upset and so do I when things happen and the roundabout isn't working. | ADHD |
Had a dream that I bumped into my ex with her new boyfriend at the grocery store, and then I was shot and killed.
Felt awful waking up. | depression |
hi umm so i have generalized anxiety disorder and have been diagnosed since i was 14, im now 19(F) and im starting to have obsessive thoughts i think? it changes topics a lot and they’re intrusive. im not looking for a diagnosis but i just want to know if ocd could be a thing i have. the thoughts are scary and even if i dont believe them i keep thinking over and over and over. it doesn’t leave until i just forget about it and the thoughts will randomly trigger. late at night is the worst as well. theyre thoughts like ‘break up with your bf u know u want to’ ‘i dont’ ‘do it’ (this weeks cycle) and then theres been a period of time where i ruminated for 1 month straight picturing myself injuring myself and taking my life. (im not suicidal) theres been ‘what if i dont like men’ or ‘what if i dont like women’ and the worst was in my first semester of college i had the worst panic attack of my life and doubted my existence and generally thought i wasnt a real person and felt like i wasnt *there* for almost 3 months. im scared, i dont know where to turn to. is there treatment for this and does this sound like ocd? | OCD |
Hi r/ptsd,
I was wondering if you guys had any suggestions for good podcasts about PTSD? I'm trying to learn more about PTSD and the symptoms, treatments, and compare my experiences with other's (how much of this is a "typical" PTSD experience) I've gotten really into podcasts lately and I was wondering if you guys had any recommendations? | ptsd |
I started taking adderall about 1-2 years ago, and at first it worked great. Was doing a lot, started college, got a pretty sizable savings and stock/crypto portfolio, and paid all my debt. And I had reached nearly my lowest weight I’ve ever been
Since then I’ve regained all of my debt, weight, can’t bring myself to sign back up for college, and I feel like I’ve gotten worse.
I’ve been working at home since the pandemic, and that combined with adderall made me a productivity machine, now I wish I never started working at home, because i can hardly ever bring myself to leave my home, am constantly ordering DoorDash, etc.
I can’t even bring myself to see my friends anymore. I’m afraid to talk to my psychiatrist because I’m afraid of not getting my prescription. Im thinking it may be best to take like a month tolerance break, but I’m scared to do so, as I feel like I won’t even have the motivation to get out of bed anymore.
Appreciate any advice. | ADHD |
If you feel Blank.....fill up your mind with Hopes.
Everything is possible. | depression |
Had a lot on my mind. The only thing I could do is go back to my bed. I put on my headphones and all my emotions came rushing through.
Crying felt so good. It’s one of the few good things that is left of me. | depression |
I know for a lot of us with Asperger's we face a ton of heartache because of our inability to make it work with the mainstream population and be able to form friendships in relationships and a lot of times we find ourselves rejected and on the outskirts of society because of our differences. And I know a lot of people post here about this very topic and I have certainly dealt with my struggles in this area as well. As I've spent most of my life pretty much socially isolated from the rest of the world.
That said I wanted to find out if there were people in this Reddit who had undergone social skills training. If you had did you notice a significant difference in your ability to form relationships with other people from your social skills training if you can remember? | aspergers |
How normal is this? I feel like I'm dissociating alot of the time. It feels like I've lost awareness of what's real.
This happen a lot to you guys? Is it a common ptsd thing? | ptsd |
I’ve started being more accepting of my autism and trying to address things like noises people make and things that upset me, instead of the usual coping and masking I’d do, and it’s just making me feel more autistic. Like idk how to explain it, but I quite literally feel “more autistic”. Maybe it’s just anxiety getting to me… 😴 | aspergers |
I can't remember how is like to take decision on your own. How to base your choices on what you want. My fear and my doubt about everything and not having anyone to support me made me search answers in signs, omens and random things. It began with simple things like which book I will read and it end up to not even know what to eat each day.
I must count the number of car plates, or see the hour or any other number and the result will tell me what to do. An even number is the x the odd the y. The even number is no the odd is yes. If I see a red car is the x, if I count 10 dogs is the y and the list goes on. At this point I use this method for making a conversation with myself. To reassure my thoughts. It goes like "I have right about it hah?" and the number give me the confirmation. I should do this?, one day this will happen etc.
Some people think that this is way to just express my intuition because I don't trust myself. Sometimes I get confused because I really need this thing as a stimuli and it gives me pleasure not anxiety. I wonder if it's and adhd thing and I try to pace myself and put my thoughts in order with this way.
But the problem is that in difficult situations this really interferes in my life and I can't stop it because I'm doing it unsubconsciously. Even now my mind immediately thought that if I receive a certain number of likes it will mean something specific. It's literary everywhere and with everything and I don't know how to stop it. It's not that I will follow the result everytime or I will remember what my question was, probably I will make the same question a thousand times again in the future.
I'm very ashamed for my actions and I feel like a stupid child when I'm almost 30. Sometimes I even try to make instant future predictions to find the method who gives me the most accurate answers. Sometimes is a mental game who comforts me but sooner or later is turned in an abusive trap who make me feel completely desperate and delusional. | OCD |
I feel that my friends are just starting to drift away. They haven’t been inviting me to anything or talking to me that much. I just got added to a group chat by my closest friend. The group chat was easily 6 months old. And just seeing them in a voice call having fun, was just too much for me. I lately just feel like I was a second choice to them. I just feel betrayed, I’m just left in the dust compared to all them. My closest friends picks others and video games over me. And every single one of my friends seems cooler than me with their skills and interests. I remember I was planning to go to Halloween with them for so long. Never got an invite and I just hear them talk about how fun it was. I went to a party, got reminded of how much I just shouldn’t be there. Then I left, I asked my friend if she could walk around with me. She said of course, I waited for 20 minutes. Walked away, they told me to wait near a 7-11 for them. She never came for like 40 minutes. I tell them what the fuck and she just said “oh I thought you didn’t want to see me, it’s hard to tell sometimes”. But that’s my sob story, and honestly I don’t really know what to do. It’s just too late to make any new friends. | depression |
I just started taking Ritalin 3 times a day, 10mg. However I was told to take them at 8, 12 and 3. But I was wondering if anyone knows if its OK to take them at different times as well? I can't find much about it. Due to covid I have online school once a week and I won't have class till 11, so I'm generally not up at 8 AM so I'm unsure if I can take it at 9 or 10 and move the other times up by a bit as well, say 10,2 and 5. I sleep a bit on the later side so it shouldn't intervere with my sleep schedule (11-12 pm, and I take a long walk before)
Thanks in advance! I can't contact my psychiatrist at such short notice and he's not... That great lmao | ADHD |
A lot of my friends growing up were just like me which is why we got along so well. The only difference was that they were a lot more focused than me when it came to doing their school work. Not all my friends were like this but many of them got really good grades. You’d think the behavior would rub off on you if you surround yourself with people who get good grades. For me this wasn’t the case. My ranking in highschool was slightly above average while I had friends who were in the top 10%. I always wondered if they ever thought of dropping me because of how incompetent I was. Even now in college, the friends I have work so much harder than me. I asked one of them what he does in his free time usually and he said he does his assignments. I always push my work to right before the deadline so I always feel like a slacker hearing this. It’s like that’s the only difference between me and them. | ADHD |
I haven't been diagnoed with OCD because i didn't tell anyone about my symptoms, but from what i have gathered from my research, i may very well have it.I do many compulsive actions, such as pressing my nose when i am excited, repeating sentences in my head in some specific order and if i dont do it like that i need to do it all over again. Also taking a deep breath before doing and many many other things which i am prob ashamed to talk about.
However the obsessions are the worst, especially when you are obsessed with bullying or insults that someone has told to you. I get obsessed whether those things are true and the more i think about all that the more i feel those painful emotions. Can't simply forget something painful or shameful and my mind is constantly thinking about that and its taking a toll.
I attribute my OCD to having spent 2 years in the orphanage since birth.
Previous few weeks i tried to get my mind to think about other things. I can think about other things but this is still on my mind, and i do get disruptive thought constantly. But this time i tried not to react on them, not to go into that cycle of ruminating and obsessing and instead just let the thought and bad mood disappear. It worked for me. The depressive mood and obsessions get weaker and weaker and i can finally have my peace of mind.
But then i make mistake of going back to those obsessions for even a minute and all my hard work is in vain. And i have to do it all over again. | OCD |
So I am not the best with relationships. But I am trying not to be overly passive like I was in my last relationship. I’m trying to communicate and be assertive this time.
My partner and I have been in a relationship for a month after being friends for 3 years. After a couple of very intimate encounters, he has been very standoffish about our first time and uncommunicative about it also, due to anxiety, which has been surfacing insecurities for me because I feel so vulnerable after letting him touch me and see me completely naked. So I have been trying to communicate with him like once a week to figure out where he’s at with things and ensuring he knows that sexual intimacy is important to me. Not necessarily sex, but some type of sexual intimacy. We don’t make out either. I just don’t want to waste my time if he’s not that interested.
I’ve stressed before to him that I’m not trying to pressure him, and pretty much explained everything to him that I’ve written here.
Someone on one of my fb groups said I am pressuring, being forceful and disrespecting his boundaries? And now I feel like a creep and a sex offender. | OCD |
We recently got “mental health ambassadors” elected as students from my school. I just find it funny how shallow it all is. Its been 6 months,they got a big fancy display with all their pictures on the wall and were formally announced….. but thats about it. Oh wait thats wrong, they did make an empty “mental health” folder on the school system. Everyone talks of how they only did it to get a good reference on their CV.
I just think its funny. You always try and convince yourself nobody cares and are told “no its just in your head” but in reality there are people that take on the responsibility of the role that in some cases can result in the life and death of another student .yet in reality its all for themselves. Really makes me lose hope. | depression |
Just as the title states are there any other therapies out there or any type of program? exposure therapy is so hard for me and I find myself only being able to handle an exposure once a week. | OCD |
Currently taking 40mg Adderall XR once a day.
Used to take that and have another optional prescription for Adderall IR 20mg as a booster if needed.
I was titrated starting at 10mg instants to end at a total of 60mg a day on average.
My main issue is from how quickly i metabolize the medication out of my system and extended release forms and higher doses seem to be the okay solution at the moment.
Switched to a new doctor so I decided to see if the 40mg of XR’s would be sufficient or not but again i find they don’t last through the day (maybe 6-8 hours average) and the rebound for the rest of my evening is god awful.
Considering getting a booster again but I’ve also taken Buspar before my diagnosis and I’ve read it’s good for combining with Adderall to keep things smooth but not so sure if it will fix this issue in particular.
Thoughts? | ADHD |
I’m tired of the constant battles I face everyday. I’m tired of my life consisting of obsessions that power the anxiety within me. All I have known these past few years is to obsess, obsess, and obsess some more. The guilt, doubt, and issues with my memory because my mind plays tricks on me has been hurting me lately. I’m thankful for the life I have, but I hate the misery I have to live with. | OCD |
I constantly obsess over a part of my retainers falling off and choking to death because of that in my sleep. Is that actually possible? | OCD |
I knew almost for 20 years I have depression.
Life is getting very hard in the last few months. I don't even know where to begin. I am afraid to go to therapy, I am afraid it gonna bring so much pain and so much bad memory from childhood.
I just need a hug and someone to say everything will be okay. | depression |
I will try to keep this short. I was diagnosed with PTSD almost a year ago and was working at Starbucks at the time. I now work in a large warehouse facility and it’s an extremely toxic environment. I’m on medication, which has helped, but I still get triggered almost daily. I want to go back to school in the fall and finally get my degree. I know the economy has suffered greatly with this virus, but I am looking for job recommendations that could help me work through my PTSD, anxiety, depression, and IBS. Any suggestions? | ptsd |
Hey everyone, looking for advice on brain fog and university along with anything else that y'all think could help.
Basically, for quite some time now I haven’t felt like myself. Or rather, I feel like “myself” is no one. I’ve always had a hard time figuring out who I am, but I feel like I’m sleepwalking through life if that makes sense. I’ve been in my undergrad for almost 7 years, and I’ve been working the same entry level job the whole time and it’s not like I’m not aware that time exists, but every now and then I have like a flash of realization that I’m aging and school isn’t forever and what exactly am I doing? My goal is grad school but I’m in an incredibly competitive field, so I’ve been taking an extra-long undergrad to try to make myself a better candidate. Specifically, it’s essentially required to do an honours undergrad to get into grad school in my field, but I have really bad social anxiety due to ADHD and I’m completely incompetent when it comes to socializing with profs and whatnot. So even though I have the courses and grade requirements to get into honours, I’m not close enough with a prof that could approve me for the program. A big issue in my life in particular has been socializing tbh – I get so anxious about being judged and then when I do have some kind of social interaction I either can’t think of anything normal to say or my ADHD goes off the walls and I can’t shut up despite being very aware the entire time that I’m being annoying and wanting desperately to stop but not being able to. Anyway, I’m getting sidetracked.
I got diagnosed well into university and since then I’ve tried numerous meds – I started on Biphentin which worked great but I had to take such a high dose of it so I wanted to change. Since then, I’ve been on Vyvanse, Concerta, Foquest, and Adderall. I’ve also had Ritalin supplements for later in the afternoon and whatnot. At a certain point I asked to go back on Biphentin but after switching back, it wasn’t effective anymore. I thought that maybe after taking amphetamines my brain just saw methylphenidate as a joke or something idk. Anyway, most recently I’ve been put on Dexedrine and it’s been an absolute nightmare but I feel like my brain fog is so thick that it took me too long to realize it. If I take enough for it to be effective it strains my eyes so badly that I can barely stand to have them open. I also get bad headaches and a few other side effects. My university’s clinic (which is how I see my only doctor, I don’t have a family doctor) is still remote-only and it’s been detrimental to me because when I would see my doctor in person, I would book another appointment for \_\_\_\_ weeks away on my way out. Now that I have phone appointments, I can’t book another appointment with the front desk unless I call back after my appointment which I never remember to do and would avoid doing anyway because of phone anxiety (re: social anxiety). The soonest appointment I could get is for December 14th. So anyway I haven’t been doing well on this medication and it’s truly derailed my life. I know that sounds dramatic, but that’s really how it feels. I’ve had probably the worst semester I have ever had, and this semester is also a crucial one. I had a prof who I’ve admired since my first year – he’s exactly who I want to be. We have similar research interests and overall I just think he’s really cool and supportive. But do you guys remember the song Human by The Killers? Because the line “sometimes I get nervous when I see an open door” describes me perfectly. The more important something is, the more I mess it up. It’s like I almost purposefully sabotage things to protect myself or something. If I fail at something due to a lack of effort then I don’t have to face the fact that I might not be good enough to succeed if that makes sense.
Anyway, this prof’s class in particular has been my biggest fuck up. I couldn’t finish my paper in time because I just couldn’t think. It was like every sentence took all of my brain power to string together despite the topic being of my choosing and being of great interest to me. Considering I could barely figure out how to structure a sentence, I had no hope of the paper having a smooth structure overall. I submitted it anyway despite the fact that I had run out of time and emailed him and basically apologized and said that I hoped he doesn’t view this paper as a reflection of me. It took me a full day and a half to realize I could’ve just submitted it late and that the late penalty would likely not be as costly as straight up not completing it, so I resubmitted it complete (but not to my standard) and two days late. He replied the morning after I submitted the second one and was very polite, but then he accidentally marked the first paper. Asking him to mark the second one took all of my courage, and although I definitely did better on the second one despite the penalty, his comments on it were brutal. Of course it’s possible that I’m being oversensitive, but his comments almost seemed annoyed and there wasn’t a single positive comment. I have to do a presentation on this paper tomorrow and I feel like I’m gonna be sick every time I think about talking about my paper in front of the class, but especially in front of him. I’m humiliated. And this isn’t the only class I’ve messed up. In my other two classes, similar things have come up. In the first, the exam was very strange and didn’t test our knowledge on concepts but rather on specific fill-in-the-bank facts which was unexpected so I didn’t do well at all. In my other class, I didn’t complete the take-home midterm on time and I ran out of time on the final assignment and had to submit it over the wordcount. In my entire time at university, I have never handed something in late. I definitely procrastinate to a dangerous extent, but I’ve never actually not completed an assignment.
I feel like the academic component of my life is the only one I’ve ever been proud of and identified with. My career goal is literally the only thing I can think of that I’m interested in doing professionally. But I feel so god damn foggy and now I feel like I ruined my chances at grad school because the one prof who I thought could really help me out is irritated by me at best. On top of all this, I’ve been dealing with the fallout of refusing to be manipulated by an incredibly toxic friend which is way too much to get into but has added a lot of stress.
Despite how long this has become, I still feel like I haven’t been able to explain how I’m feeling… I guess I just feel empty and hopeless. I don’t know if I’ll ever find a med that’s right for me and I feel like I’m not who I thought I was. My room’s a mess (and I HATE messes), I’ve spent so much money that I have around $150 in my account, my rent of $865 is due today, and I owe over $4000 to my credit card. I also have taken out $77,000 in student loans. I always told myself that the student debt won’t be so bad in the end because if I make it into my field I’ll be making way more than enough to pay it back fast but without a way into grad school, my life is exactly the same as it was 7 years ago except that now I’m almost 27 and I have nearly $80,000 in debt. I think I can request accommodations, but the accessible learning centre at my university is notoriously terrible and also you have to request before the start of the semester so I can’t request anything now. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m never gonna grow the hell up and learn from my mistakes.
I’m truly sorry for how long this has become. I just wish I could *think*.
**TL;DR - Dexedrine sabotaged a very important semester, I feel like I can't think straight/reason/engage with information, I don't know who I am anymore, and grad school feels like a pipe dream.** | ADHD |
I graduated uni at 24 but due to some sad circumstances, I just finally found my feet in life at 27. I feel so bad about the years I've lost and I don't even have a support system. My friends are now strangers who look down on me and my family only calls to remind me that I need to get married because I'm almost 30 and will reach menopause soon. I wish I could turn back time. I wish I could get my mid-20s back but it's gone forever. I didn't achieve nothing while my uni mates and ex-friends were/are building successful careers and families. Things are finally falling into place but it still hurts😭😭 How do I stop feeling like this? | depression |
So, a lot of times people talk about closure, right? Like your abuser dying in front of you or like saying sorry to you. I would prefer either. But, although I'm tempted to of every second of every day, I'm not going to contact that guy and beg him to say sorry to me. Because that probably will not realistically end in an apology or a revenge death.
At first, my idea was like to just hire a voice mimic to just copy his voice, but then I realized I had no money (also why I can't actually get therapy, that and parents). Then, I was like why don't I try to do it myself but then I realized that means listening to his voice (I do that everyday anyway) but also I have terrible health and it takes a lot more than I thought.
I really need a way to find the holy grail of closure because if I don't, I'll keep dreaming that the guy will either die or say sorry and I'll contact him for either of those things and neither will work out how I want them to. | ptsd |
Im a 20 y/o female, 239lbs and today is my second day taking methylphenidate ER 18mg. Yesterday I didnt feel any different and today is the same. No good or bad side effects. Just feel exactly like I did before I started taking them. I'm thinking maybe the low dose is too low for how heavy i am. I take them at 5:30 am and all day long I feel as unmotivated as I usually do and its just as hard for me to do simple things. I still feel hungry or want to eat like i normally do and I was hoping starting this would suppress my appetite as well as let me be able to focus and do normal things. Should I message my doctor now or wait a week and see if anything changes? | ADHD |
Long story short, i am finally diagnosed with ADHD. I am also currently not having a good time with it, because surprisingly if you have ADHD you may experience symptoms of ADHD.
Today i essentially had a breakdown about how I'm falling behind at uni and just everything. I've basically been feeling almost depressed about all this and my question is how do you stop yourself from going down a spiral caused by ADHD? (how to not be sad about the impact ADHD has on your life)
Question two is how do I pull myself out of this? Theres two week left of term and i have no notes and just feel generally bad about myself. | ADHD |
I can start by saying that the past 2.5 years of my life have been pretty fantastic (despite the pandemic) - OCD and intrusive thoughts haven't bothered me in any way that I can remember significantly. I was living a normal life. Completely.
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This is in stark contrast to around four years ago, where it was absolutely debilitating and I would cry almost every day. I have had worries, of course, mainly relating to work or relationships. But these are what I would consider "normal worries" and I know that they will pass.
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At the start of this week, I stumbled across a news story which triggered me somewhat. Since then I have been thinking about an event in my life which was a big starting point in my descent into OCD. It is something which brings me feelings of intense shame, guilt, and worry, even though those close to me say I'm overreacting.
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The past couple of years I have been very busy with work and I now have a month and a half off which is leaving me with a lot of free time. I have had this free time before in the period where I felt "cured" from OCD and where I was idle but felt fine. Perhaps it's the timing of a triggering story and being off.
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Intrusive thoughts don't bother me too much anymore - I usually can take them for what they are, just thoughts, and redirect my attention to the external.
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My main issue this week has probably been ruminating over this past event. I fear being ostrazised, or having everyone hate me. This week, this past event has always been on my mind, whereas it didn't get the time of day and I almost never thought about it the past few years.
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I was debating whether or not to post this as it feels I am giving weight to the issue, whereas during my "good" phase it would come and go. I am worried about a relapse.
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Advice on how to deal with this is welcome. I know what feeling free from this is like, when it never causes a second thought or any worry, and it's something that I want again. I do not know what I did to get to a place where I felt well. I just lived my life and stayed as busy as possible - sometimes leading to burnout. | OCD |
Side effects aside, I know Adderall has more of that kick because of how it's metabolized, compared to Vyvanse being a prodrug and all.
Personally, I feel like the smooth transition isn't what I really want for my early morning. I'm a 17 year old student, and the feeling of Vyvanse is overall a little underwhelming. If I'm in my classes, I'd like that heightened concentration and feeling of intensity that Adderall might give (which I don't get on Vyvanse).
I would prefer Vyvanse in the afternoon - I want a calmer feeling of overall concentration then (because I still spend a lot of my afternoon with school, which will probably be the case with college and all).
Has anyone done this before? I know Adderall IR is usually taken in the afternoon following Vyvanse. I'd just like a little insight into this. I'm aware that I may not actually react well to Adderall, but this is just considering that I work well with the overall design of the drug compared to Vyvanse. | ADHD |
Does anyone get this feeling where their focus can be great one day, and the next it’s gone?
Lately I’ve noticed in the evening (when my meds tend to wear off), I find it harder to focus and my brain can be everywhere… I have to jump from topic to topic, or switch my internet tabs quickly.
Not sure if this is just due to the meds or my brain is trying to figure out it’s “normal” state? But yeah it seems like some days are better than others… | ADHD |
i slept for over 20 hours and i feel like a total shit
that's it. | depression |
Im slowly learning to diffuse obsessions by accepting the uncertainty of such classics as 'not washing my kid's water bottles 10 times will not poison them' but no sooner do I make progress on one, another pops up just as intense.
Its like my bassline ocd anxiety is just heightened no matter what I do.
SSRIs the only option? | OCD |
Hello guys, so I'm 21(M). I'm trying getting the diagnoses of ADD and ASD, the doctors think i most likely have them but not an actual neurobehavioural test or others have been done YET. many women finds me attractive plus i'm 180cm so im not short (nothing bad being that just that girls prefer longer guys that's it).
So my problem is when i talk to the opposite sex i can't understand if they are flirting with me, or better said i understand that they like me and that they would like to continue forward or make something out of this, but it be like strange for me, like i'm afraid to act right front of her, i get the feeling of telling her no, please stay! but my past traumas with girls and my asperger makes me don't wanna risk my pride because it might get broken. It's very annoying that i never had a gf because of this. and mostly my interactions with girls be like positive at first and then my talk rythm and my disoriented thoughts just turn the conversation about me basically and the fun of talking goes away. Ofcourse because all my mind can think of am i acting right, is she gonns like me, am i going to have s\*x with her make things worse.
A senario to demonstrate that: I was with a nurse at the hospital the other day and she was gonna take a piss test to me so she has to watch me ( in a private room with two walls and doors, for extra protection if you know what i mean). she was looking direct into my eyes and smilling before she even told me that, and kept going the whole time. But i didn't do or act anything, neither i gave any face impression of that even though that I wouldn't mind. After that was finished i went to another room to do a chatting with another doctor, she came back again and she told me you are very slow, two days out of the hospital every female and male doctor think that i'm stupid and extremly slow. I don't know how can i stop pissing everyone around me and stop looking like a snop. This makes girls think that i'm gay and unintressted in any sexual interaction with girls, i know because i heard it a couple of times.
Any advice? | aspergers |
I feel like I'm losing everyone, it all started when my dad passed he was my go to for everything, then my SO left me while I was pregnant, and then I recently lost my baby. I feel so fake trying to even put a smile on and then every evening I just cry and can't stop myself. I haven't been sleeping I have to use drugs to force myself to sleep now. None of my friends want to spend time with me, and the family that I have left doesn't care about me. I just feel so lonely and sad all the time and I just want it to stop so bad. I've lost everyone I held so close to my heart and it kills me a little bit every day. I've tried getting a routine, doing stuff I used to enjoy, trying new things, fresh air... nothing helps. In the back of my mind I consistanly have a voice telling me what the point of even being here because at this point in my life I don't have an answer for it. | depression |
My husband and I both suffer from depression. Sometimes it gets too hard when one’s condition effects the other. What should I do? Any recommendations are much appreciated… | depression |
I struggle with ADD. I take meds and some symptoms aren’t relieved. I’m sure you all can relate. I saw a job thread earlier and like myself several of you are “highly regarded” professionals. I use that term “highly regarded” loosely because I suffer from imposter syndrome and no matter how good I am or awards I get, I’m still not good enough.
I digress, to my point…
Do any of you share with your employers that you have ADD/ADHD? Sometimes I fear, my struggles will make me fail and I do t want to loose my job. | ADHD |
The first time I had depression was last year during a really intense school period. I was starting to sleep worse than I usually did and my mood started to change a bit. I didn’t really notice that at the time tho. Suddenly I started to cry more easily and I was shocked when i started to cry for no reason at all. I remember I came home from the gym that day and was about to take a shower. My brother was in his room talking on the phone and just hearing him triggered me for some reason and I couldn’t stop crying for like 10 Minutes. This need to cry started to come more frequently after that and even during class now. I would suppress it as bad as I could and would secretly cry in toilet stalls during lunch breaks because I didn’t want my friends to know. I was embarrassed of myself and didn’t know what was wrong with me since I like to believe that I’m a tuff person. It didn’t take long where I reached the point to where I couldn’t even force myself to laugh and had this empty grey feeling in me. I thought I was broken like my life batteries where all used up. Never was I suicidal tho I just didn’t know what to do with myself and nothing made me enjoy life during that time. When I told my mother and she told me I was probably depressed and she had been trough that aswell I cried and hugged her. Later I was diagnosed by a doctor, was put on medication and was told to take a 4 week break from school. Exactly a year later I fell in the same hole again. Probably because I stopped using antidepressants after like 3 months because my mood got back to normal so I thought I was already healed. | depression |
I try not to ruminate and let them be but it’s not working... | OCD |
I’m guessing it’s just me cuz I’ve never met anyone who’s also had this but all of the sudden I may get a smell which may last for 10 seconds smells like ammonia acetone chicken pets cherry synthetic odours etc. And with certain colours like special shade of pink gives a faint xylene -gasoline smell do any of you also go through this? | aspergers |
i keep thinking abt horrible stuff ive said or done years ago before i met my current friends and i know confessing is a compulsion but i feel like i should tell them everything otherwise im lying. i get fears that one day im gonna get exposed to everyone but also im scared of how theyll react. i think theyll see me differently or maybe even cut me off what should i do about this | OCD |
Hi,
Long story short, I watched porn and despite it having triggered me and me not wanting to rewatch it, OCD is making me feel like I have to. I watched a particular video that triggered my HOCD. While I don't want to rewatch it, OCD has been making me feel like I have to rewatch that same video so that I can "check myself" (I think that's the right phrase). Not sure what to do. Please help. This obsession has lasted for several days despite me not giving into the compulsion which is a pretty long time for me and I've been experiencing symptoms of depersonalization. I feel stuck. My OCD and intrusive thoughts were relatively manageable for a decent period of time prior to this incident (which makes me beat myself up even more). Starting to think it might just be easier for me to give into the compulsion, but I don't want to make the OCD worse or open up a whole other can of worms by doing so (more what-ifs?). I am riddled with regret and rumination for having watched it in the first place.
Can anyone relate and does anyone have any words of support/encouragment? | OCD |
I was really a bad person on my early 20s I'm 27 now,and I had OCD all my life from the age of 12 it came and went away.so maybe this is some sub OCD or im sociopath.
Anyways in my early 20s I though how to be a great person was by being one step ahead of everyone,manipulation everyone psychologically I lived for that.
Example:manipulating guys to buy me and my other friends(I was the center of the group) drinks or drugs (I dont do that anymore) I feel disgusting thinking how low I thought of me.
Stealing phones,cosmotics,money,ditching calss cause that gave me high,thts what I thought was life was all about and I was such a good student when I was in highschool,I changed so much in universty
Dating the most popular guy or being friends with him cause deep down I knew I was a fat person nobody wanted so I was overcompensating for that
Having so many friends superficial friends to hang out and just be famous
Getting in trouble was somthing I thought was somthing cool.
I loved peoples misery so I could advise and be there for them just sake of wanting to liked not because I gave a fuck(which is a bad thing and makes me want to throw up)
And then I got rapped I had bad anxiety attack tht I had to go to hospital and went to therapy because when I thought my life was going well I still felt anxiety and I knew somthing was wrong with me,now 3 to 4 years has passed and I think I have changed things that made me happy doesnt anymore,i feel horrible about things I have done and now I'm wondering what if I'm sociopath and what if I'm faking my ocd to manipulate my self and people around me maybe it's the narrasictic in me talking or maybe saying this is also another manipulation but I though then manipulating people was something to be proud of,it means your really smart and ahead of people but now I'm Q everything.
I'm so stressed out I dont know how to cope with this,I don't know if this is OCD or I'm just a terrible person or I'm manipulative or somthing???what should I do?? | OCD |
I feel so numb sometimes and there are days where everything feels so massively overwhelming and unbearable. Things since last year had been so rough that I had to drop college for 3 semesters in a row and right now I have to study for 2 exams and I just spend all day on my bed feeling sorry for myself, hating myself or just trying to motivate myself but nothings seems to work. I’ve distanced myself from almost everyone in my life except from my family (even though there were other reasons aside from my lack of energy to maintain a conversation)
I only live to work because I have bills to pay and I refuse to destroy that part of my life, fortunately it is still home office so I don’t even need to get dressed for that. That’s the only thing that makes me stand up and do something every day, my parents struggled with money a lot when I was a kid so that kind of traumatized me.
It’s hard for me to bring myself to shower or even eat something. There are days where I don’t leave my bedroom unless I’m starving or I need water.
I convinced myself that maybe with a new desk I could get some motivation since the area where I used to study was really too small. It’s been 2 weeks and the box of new desk is still untouched on my living room - just like a lot of things I purchased for college are in a corner of my bedroom getting dusty.
I can’t fail this time or else I’ll be repeating the whole year and yet I’m doing nothing. At least today I ate lunch and got into the shower lol | depression |
I need your help.
Where I live, there is an organization led by your typical Autism Mom Karen. It's called (TW!) >!"Never Again Autism!"!< and its goal is to >!give autistic children a "complex cure" with neurofeedback and bullshit diets. It's proud to "help parents with the grief" and "provide them with hope" to turn their autistic spawn back into the beautiful, functional neurotypical children they were when they were born before they "caught" autism.!<
My favourite magazine, the same one that interviewed an actually autistic mother and her children last year for Autism Acceptance Month, decided to publish an interview with ~~this bitch~~ Karen this year for 2 April to advertise her new book on >!curing autism (and also let her complain about the grief and depression and the "fight" with her child's diagnosis)!<.
I'm contemplating writing them a reader's letter explaining why this article is nothing but harmful to the autistic community. I do have some of my own ideas, but as this is about representing autistic people and real allies, I would love to include whatever you want to say to Autism Speaks and other organizations of the sort.
(As this is a formal letter, "fuck you!" is unfortunately off the table, but trust me, that's the message I'll try to get across.)
Edit: typo | aspergers |
My friend and I need some advice on this.
I don’t even know how to fully describe it: it’s like when u are out-of-it, like mentally gone or when u feel really numb???
But it’s a problem because it’s not like a short episode - this feeling is weeks long.
But we both have depression, so maybe it’s more on the depression side??? Ugh- I don’t even know anymore…. | ADHD |
My doctor is suggesting to look into concerta, I'm currently on 25 MG adderal
and I asked about the possibility of other options. As we just lowered it after just raising it last month. I'm on an extended release but it stops working anywhere from noon to 4 and the increase did not help extend the window just made me yuckier at the end of the day so we went back down. I have a bit of a phobia with meditations so I'm scared about switching something that's finally for the most part working just not liking this yuckyness and the return of my irritability at the end of the day and that's what brings me here. Tell me your experiences switching please. | ADHD |
Anyone else find they hate asking questions even to friends? | aspergers |
I am feeling very lost and defeated with friendships. I feel like there is this invisible wall between me and others and I can almost never break through it. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, I try my best but it's not enough. It's pretty exhausting to try to keep up with conversations and figure out how to behave. I want to be interested in others but I can only focus on what I like. I can be a good listener though.
If anyone out there is looking for a friend, I would be happy to be one. | aspergers |
Taking antidepressants must be the worst thing ive experienced in my whole life, even worse than the actual depression. I started treatment 3 days ago and im feeling worse than before, im having all kinds of side effects and this was the worst day of my life because i had to go to work like this, i almost had an anxiety attack, i feel numb, i have trouble urinating, im sweating like a pig (which puts me in a horrible mood because i had surgery for hyperhydrosis early this year), i feel like im in a never-ending bad trip, i have blurred vision, i can't coordinate my movements and my brain feels like its going at 1000000000mph. I told my doctor, and he said to reduce the dose but I just want to stop taking them mg pills. I just think I was better before, that all these side effects are not worth it, I cant keep living like this for another couple of weeks, I just cant | depression |
I’m undiagnosed AD/HD but in the process of being evaluated. I need some advice desperately. Due to some very stressful times right now, I am experiencing some days where I am absolutely paralyzed from doing anything productive and instead feel my arms and legs burning on the inside and that I just have to “do” something.
It’s very debilitating and making the stressful situations worse. I need some skills to try to practice when it happens to try to get some semblance of normality back enough to continue to do what I need to.
Side note: The issues are marital relationship issues and we’re going to try to work on those with a professional as well although we just started the first visit today. | ADHD |
I want to move out, have my own space that is quiet and without constant probing eyes of family members.
I absolutely hate it when they barge in and interfere with my train of thought as solipsistic as that sounds. If my mind remains unchecked, I completely burnout and that's not good for anyone.
I just need my own space, not for control but for mental clarity so I don't have to sleep my days away to avoid incessant prying into my personal space.
The thing is, I am actually a people person, I just REALLY need my space otherwise I completely deteriorate mentally and this is only seen as a personal attack by my birth giver and family and I constantly get downplayed and gaslit into thinking I don't need my personal space and they can continue doing this to me.
My room and my bed are the only places that have my noise cancelling in-check and are free of prying eyes so I just sleep, sleep my days away but I remain in control of my sensory issues this way.
It's not a life I intend but it will undoubtedly stay this way until I move out, there's no other conceivable or realistic solution. | aspergers |
If I go to see my boyfriend, visit his house on purpose to see if I’ll feel excited and feel in love is this a compulsion? | OCD |
https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0758758/
After graduating from Emory University, top student and athlete Christopher McCandless abandons his possessions, gives his entire $24,000 savings account to charity and hitchhikes to Alaska. | aspergers |
And when they do this, the vibe I get from it is like they’re looking at me as if I haven’t had any troubles. I wear a lot of pink and I act bubbly. I put on a smile everyday as if I’m okay so maybe they just assume I have it easy. I don’t respond because I don’t believe in “self titling” (I cant think of better words to describe it) and by that I mean, I don’t like to straight up tell people that my life has been hard or even say things like “I’m a hard worker”. I just believe in being a hard worker and not “bragging” about it. If someone is willing to talk to me about trauma I still don’t come out saying “my life is hard”. It’s partly because my ex used to get mad and say I’m victimizing myself. So I fear of sounding that way.
I do try to empathize with these people, but the thing is that they don’t even want to hear me when I say “my dad died when I was 20 of a drug overdose” or I saved my moms life 4 times from overdoses. They don’t care. They’re too busy talking about how their life is hard.
Then they go on to tell me that they do most of the work at my job which just isn’t true. I never get recognized for my hard work but that’s not why I’m doing it. When they watch me work it’s as if I’m not doing my job when the have the same position as me and they have no right to be judging me like that.
I’m just ranting. I fee belittled and bitter because of it.
I guess I just need to realize that people don’t need to know my business to respect me. | ptsd |
I get so worked up about certain past events that have caused trauma and its fucking with my sleep and I just get so angry when I think about them | ptsd |
It's so distressing, and the only way I feel better is by googling them and making sure it's actually my OCD. | OCD |
I am wondering if EMDR is worth trying. It was first mentioned to me like four years ago but I wondered if I should give it a try.
Do you need to verbalise your experiences? How does it work? Is it hard? Did it help? | ptsd |
Just to preface this off, I take my prescription as much as possible but if I wake up too late I can’t take it because it will keep me up late. Also, I tend to have issues with impotence if I take it close to when me and my wife wanna get frisky. It is frustrating sometimes but I thought I should switch to instant release to avoid any chances of that happening later on in the night. I requested to switch to ir and psych wanted a drug test. I missed two doses and took the drug test not even thinking about it and it came back clean. I wasn’t informed that if I come back clean that it would be an issue. I suppose I should mention that I don’t feel comfortable speaking with my psych too much either, his uncaring voice makes me feel like he’s judging me. I have not mentioned impotence but I’ve mentioned trouble sleeping and taking my meds semi-regularly. Any advice on what to do next? I’d really prefer to keep my prescription if it could be helped. | ADHD |
I saw my psych yesterday. Couldn’t stop crying throughout the whole session. I also struggle with anorexia, self harm and anxiety, and the suicidal thoughts that are now occurring every night. The appointment before they said I wasn’t depressed. Then yesterday they said “do you need an antidepressant? I think you do. Try cipralex. Take it immediately so that you don’t sink further.”
A couple of my friends are on it and says it works wonders. I was on Lamictal for about 3 years and stopped cold Turkey in the summer. (Don’t recommend).
I feel so stupid for having to take a drug to fix my brain. This time of year is the hardest. I miss my partner who left me in 2020, I miss the puppy we used to have together, none of my family checks in on me, and my roommate just put her dog down yesterday. That dog totally saved my life in the summer. I also am in first year university and got an extension on my last exam because of all of this. I’m so nervous.
The grief is so heavy and most days I can’t even move, eat or breathe properly.
I just don’t want to end up in hospital again and I’m scared. Started taking the drug last night, the pharmacist said it can either make you feel more awake or more tired so I’m hoping the former because I have no energy anymore. And I work as a server and am dreading working NYE. I am 9 months sober from alcohol for reasons related to my depression and I hope I can make it through without drinking.
Just feeling really alone. | depression |
I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. I am constantly looking for some sort of happiness but hit a dead end wherever I go. I have severely fucked up my own life to the point where I am not sure I even want myself anymore.
I have become very apathetic and been addicted to the internet for almost a decade. I would not doubt if I have spent 8+ hours a day just on the internet, watching my life go to waste because I regret what I have done in the past.
All my relationships are hanging on by a thread or been completely destroyed because I don’t provide enough effort in being a friend or a family member. I have terrible social anxiety and was bullied a lot in high-school which has made me put up a lot of walls and am constantly in a stoic state and feel too weird to even laugh or smile. I was jealous of my younger brother from the very beginning and cut him off entirely to no fault of his own except that I was power hungry and could not control him. I fee like the hunger for control comes from my mother being an absolute helicopter parent who I always felt like hated me for even being born.
I don’t know what love is. I don’t know how to show love. All i can show is passive aggressive tones and hatred towards someone. My brother hates me so much and has really turned into an asshole since our father died a couple years ago. All i see in him is where i have messed up as a brother. Yet i remain jealous of how confident he is, how social of a person and his looks.
I have never had that and probably never will. I am too scared of my own shadow and have never achieved anything in life. I feel like everyone hates me because im quiet and serious but when i try to converse at work I cannot keep up a conversation. I am too embarrassed to talk about my personal life.
I act like a child a lot too afraid to take on responsibility as a older son, or as an employee. I joke around way too much instead of having serious conversations. I cannot say i have never had friends but I feel like I have turned into a social climber in a way where people will judge me based on my friends. I am blatantly rude to anyone I feel isn’t “popular” enough, yet feel so inferior around others. I have put myself in a position where I dont like anyone and I dont like myself.
It is not as if I can go outside and do things either because my mother had never wanted us to leave the house ever. We did not have out of school activities or allowed to have people over. I am 21 M living at home with no future, no past, and see no way of helping myself. Please someone help. | depression |
For a while i’ve just felt like I am not happy anymore and nothing really brings me joy anymore. I know this is an ignorant thing to say because there are people out there suffering much more than I am and to come out here and say “i’m not happy” doesn’t mean i’m depressed. I am not trying to self diagnose myself in any way I just don’t know where else to go with the emotions i’ve been going through and wanted someone to talk to cause I would feel embarrassed to tell anyone I know this stuff. I live in a nice upper middle class family, my parents treat me more than well, i get along with my siblings, i have a cat that I love more than anything, I have a job with people that I enjoy working with, I get good grades at the college I go to, I have close friends that I see on a regular basis, I am a decent enough looking guy, and I often am able to indulge in my hobbies (manga, collecting, etc). I have no reason to feel sad in any way but I don’t even know if I can describe these feelings as specifically sad. I just constantly feel as if I am not enough and can’t amount to what the people around me expect of me. Because of this it just seems like there’s a little voice in the back of my head always just saying “you’re a piece of shit” and “no one really likes you”. I had my 20th birthday yesterday and felt empty the whole day because I spent it mostly alone. This kind of thing has been going on for a couple of months and I often just feel disappointed in myself for no reason. I don’t know if this is just me talking as a privileged white male piece of shit but if anyone knows a way to deal with this or to just make that voice go away I would greatly approachable it. | depression |
cw sa//
I stopped taking seroquel leaving me with vivid dreams every single night and last night i had a horrible dream about being assaulted and it felt so real and so painful i don’t want to fall asleep ever again and i’m panicking. | ptsd |
Throughout the year I have slowly been distancing myself from my friends for a couple of reasons. One of the reasons is that we are both changing. They are developing into different people, since that is part of growing up (I'm 16 btw) and I am as well. I just don't want to talk to them anymore because we don't share the same humor or anything anymore. I also distanced myself because I am very introverted and prefer to just stay to myself.
However, now I really don't have any friends. As much as I like staying to myself and enjoy that most of the time, it does get very lonely. I don't need much, but I just need some form of communication, it can drive me crazy some days/nights.
I live with my dad, who is my best friend and only friend, and he goes out of town once a week which is usually on a Saturday or Sunday. That 18 hours or so he is gone it is so draining to not have anyone to talk to. I think I would be okay even if I had someone to text maybe. It is very hard on the brain to go without any talking to anyone for 18 hours. If I recall, I'm pretty sure you can get brain damage if you isolate yourself in a room for three days (that would need to be fact-checked though), so I can't imagine the psychological effects it is having on me to go 18 hours. | depression |
First time posting here so idk how this works but, I am prescribed 40mg/day. Mix of IR/XR for context..
*I am really sorry for the venting but I want to not be such a dick and let things roll off my back but I cant. and I have no other words to describe the feeling I am feeling besides I could literally explode in a billion pieces from how overwhelmed I feel.*
**Background**: My partner and I recently moved into our dream apartment with our two puppies and ever since the move I have been so stressed/filled with anxiety that I have been such an asshole.
Recently, I feel like I am not able to relax in our apartment because its unorganized and shit is everywhere so I am constantly putting things away before I can start to get my work done (since I work from home).. but the putting things away is never ending so in return I am not fully invested in my work. I love my job so the stress of knowing I am not doing a good job makes me feel sick to my stomach. And then I am getting upset that on her days off or before/after work she is not making as much of an effort to help get the house situated even though its causing me a lot of anxiety.
I have been trying to do more and more around the house to get things situated so I can move on to enjoying the new place with her but I am making it a place of stress and anxiety. I am constantly crying when one little thing is out of place or a wave of anger. I have been saying some not so great things to my partner as well and I feel absolutely terrible. I know she is helping out here and there but, I am doing soooo much because I feel so awful in here that I am somewhat expecting her to do the same.. and getting mad when she doesnt.
My partner is always so patient with me when I am feeling overwhelmed but I feel like I am starting to push her away due to the outbursts.
The one thing that always level sets me is just getting away from our phones, work, friends, etc.. and just spending time with her. I am starting to feel like the past few weeks she is making plans with her sister/friends and I am sensing it might be to get away from me.
Please let me know if you have any advice because I really love this girl and I cant ruin it because I cant handle a little stress from moving. | ADHD |
Like my finger will be touching a couch or my bed sheets and without thinking I’ll take that finger and trace a figure 8 symbol over and over. Sometimes other made up symbols that are symmetrical. I’ve done this } symbol before too.
Anyone else? Is it OCD or no? | OCD |
Asked dad a few days ago if we could see it at the theater next week and he said yes. That’s still the plan and I’m fine with it!
But my dad and brother are seeing F9 today, and we were wondering if Luca was at an overlapping time. Shortly after his GF joined the conversation and seemed really enthusiastic about seeing Luca as well! She said she’d go with me later, so maybe the times didn’t have to overlap.
But from what I heard when I was in my room getting ready, it sounds like she was actually always more interested in F9.
So again, I’m still seeing the movie next week; that’s not the point. Missed cue is a bummer though. | aspergers |
I have a habit of falling asleep after using my phone so when I wake up I have these panic attacks where I feel like I'm choking so I forced myself to vomit One of the first things I do is I quickly grab for my phone or I'll accidentally push my body up from the couch to get up and stand up but I put my hand on top of the phone and putting pressure on the screen or on the phone itself. I start stressing out if I accidentally sit down on it or find out that I slept on top of it with my weight. I'm always examining my cell phone to check for any defects or any kind of vents that way I can see if I need to buy another one even if I don't even have much money. I don't know why I'm like this but it's stressing me out really badly for years the way I am with my cell phones. Is anybody else like this?. I worry because I don't have a steady income I am disabled I've been disabled all my life and I can't do much physically. So income is not my strength. | OCD |
So um basically I'm slightly better than most people at learning things so during middle school and elementary school I didn't have to try at all just pay attention in class a bit and you'll get an A, but now in high school I still don't have to work that much but even like 30 minutes feels like a chore and I can't just get motivation at all to do these and i think that may have some sort of effect on why I may be depressed I think it's just my way of searching for reasons why I feel this way even though I probably would've ended up like this even without other factors but if it's like something external and more direct I might feel it's easier to fix idrk | depression |
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