body stringlengths 51 39.8k | subreddit stringclasses 5 values |
|---|---|
I've been in bed for hours and I couldn't sleep because I am bored. My brain just doesn't want to shut down to sleep and just seeks action. I'm even using melatonin! Nada!
I gave in and tried to watch some videos to get my brain to shut up. Tried documentaries that I am not that interested in. Nope. Brain asks for something more interesting, else it keeps talking and I spiral into thoughts. So I went to my fav content, true crime. Sometimes listening the details get me to sleep. Nope. Now brain wants to know what happened.
At this point I am so close to just boink myself in the head with a bat and knock myself out unconscious. | ADHD |
Hi everyone, can you describe if you have flashbacks where you feel panic, anxiety, rage or shame, but you don't see or hear anything from the incident? An example would be like if you see something on tv that reminds you of the incident and all of the sudden you feel those really intense, upset feelings. Another example would be if someone does something to you like cuts you in line, or just puts their hand on you by surprise, and so on. If you could, would you also explain what kind of incident you suffered to get ptsd as well? | ptsd |
Hi, so I keep having OCD about something I did when I was around 7-9 years old, and I’m older now but I can’t help but feel pain over it. I keep thinking that this bad thing I did defined who I am as a person now and I can’t let go of it. I feel so sick over it and I feel like a horrible person. I just can’t help but think that my child self is me now. Does anyone else have experiences like this? How do I get over it?
I keep going mental checking, ruminating, and comparing myself to horrible people. It’s getting out of hand and interfering with my life | OCD |
So I have been getting this really invasive vision, usually happens when I close my eyes when trying to go to sleep. This vision involves an intensive image of a person walking from my left peripheral in front of my and a more faint person walking from my right side. This vision is extremely unsettling and is accompanied by this extremely uneasy and dreadful feeling. This has been happening for about 5 years now.
​
It has been happening more and more often and is really freaking me out, as I am scared to close my eyes when going to bed.
​
I am trying to connect the dots and I have 3 possible reasons this is happening.
1. I had a scary doctor experience removing my adenoids in Russia. This was back in like 1996 and in Russia where the doctors did traumatic shit without pain killers or anything. I recall seeing a lot of blood and being extremely scared. I would assume there were two doctors doing this operation.
2. I have PTSD from doing DMT a long time ago. I had some traumatizing experiences in the place the drug takes you.
3. I am possessed or have a hitchhiker who I potentially brought from #2.
I am really hoping that it is number one or two, as number 3 is a scary thought.
​
Please help. | ptsd |
Have had ocd in the past. Now have had extreme ocd for 2 years. Stopped me from going to school. My hands are bleeding from how much I wash them. I have tried everything to try to fix my ocd. I'm scared I'll never be free. I just feel like I'm in a living hell. Not a second passes where im not effected by this. I just want it to be over. I know I can be mentally ready for anything once this is over. But after 2 years of no end to this. I feel demotivated to even try anymore.
I cant do anything I used to do anymore. Can't do full days in college. Can't even sit at my desk without fear.
It's stopped me from going outside. And I just want this ocd to go away now.
This has destroyed my life.
I want to just go back to how I was before.
And I know my fears aren't real. But it's more of an instinct feeling to wash my hands.
I cant stop myself and I am scared this will be my life.
I have career goals I want to achieve.
But I feel that if this goes on I'm never going to get anywhere. | OCD |
so i have been feeling off almost all afternoon, i think i was having ruminations, it was bouncing from one subject to the next, but my harm ocd always spikes at night, it fucks with me all the goddamn time, i mean after the thoughts come, images of actually doing it just flood my mind, it fucking sucks cause i know i don't want to but apart of me thinks i actually do sometimes cause i doubt myself.
i hate ocd, i was reading a post on this subreddit and it mentioned to word erp, which i somewha read on this therapy, but like i then remembered a post i read awhile ago about someone having harm ocd and doing this therapy with a therapist, they had the person hold a knife to her boyfriends neck, then i had intrusive thoughts of doign that therapy then it turned more dreadful cause it freaked me out.
i mean i don't know what to do, i don't even go anywhere near knives at all, i always ask my mom to hide the knife we have at home, but this fucking sucks, cause like knives always gave me anxiety all the time, but like don't i need to use that for cooking? i mean i don't really cook anyway, but like if i wanted to.
i really just keep myself isolated and safe, but i think it makes it worse cause i talk to no one, except for my family when i leave my room. | OCD |
Next Monday will mark 6 years since my first sexual assault and on the 28th, it will mark 5 years since my second assault. I always struggle around this time of year anf this year is no different. I'm not sleeping well at all and flashbacks/dreams have become more intense. I've tried melatonin with no luck.
Any ideas of what I should do? I do see a therapist twice a month if I'm lucky. No psychiatist though. | ptsd |
hi i just woke up and i had a dream about my abuser being nice to me and we became friends and it makes me feel so sick i shouldnt be happy about that im sick he abused me and exually assaulted me i shouldnt dream of him being sweet to me and enjoy it why am i like this | ptsd |
I'm asking this question for Aspies who have their own apartment because in a year I plan to move into a studio next to my engineering school.
What are your tips for managing your time well and not forgetting anything between studies/work and housework ?
As I tend to be distracted by other things, I often forget a lot of things behind me while I still live with my parents and I'm supposed to be an almost-adult. | aspergers |
-Btw im sorry if this is the wrong thread-
Hi people. I crashed my dads car in traffic. And it was in a really stupid way.
We were 3 cars in traffic lights in a single lane. The lights turned green and we all moved. I wonder to know but to my suprise the first car out of no where hit his brakes and 2nd car hit him directly in the back. I hit my brakes but we were at a hill and sadly i didnt use my brakes good enough so i hit 2nd car in the back too.. The car we have only has a slight dent in license plate and a little panelgap close to left headlight, damage didnt reach aluminum body parts and only effected the plastic bumper. 1st car ran the scene, 2nd cars owner got out and checked up on me and to my suprise didnt file anything against me so we were back on our seperate ways. My question is;
I cant stop thinking about the crash and noises,
Second question: michael jackson dirty diana was playing in the background, (lol) i cant listen to that song anymore aswell.
How can i relieve the stress? My parents are totally happy that im fine/ the car is still in good shape but i seem to not stop thinking about this crash i had… | ptsd |
Hello, I honestly don’t know what to do about my OCD anymore, I’ve been to therapy, tried medications, and have done everything. I’m on Prozac, which does wonders for my anxiety, but doesn’t even touch my OCD and depression. All the other medications seem to be similar if not the exact same to Prozac, I am also not able to get off of Prozac, so, if there is ANY medications that are good for OCD, I would love to research about them. (I’ve heard about Luvox and Anafranil, but am I able to take them with Prozac?) | OCD |
And as a result you hate yourself and are a perfectionist --> OCD? Because if your parent isn't there telling you exactly how to do things and making you feel like shit if you do/think anything different, so you use the same rules on yourself? | OCD |
Maybe many people are ACTUALLY afraid to heal because their entire identity is centered around the trauma they've experienced. They have no idea who they are outside of trauma and that unknown can be terrfying. | ptsd |
Ever since I could remember, emotionally I felt nothing and physically felt no pain. I tend to mimic or improve with the situation and person. But I still have a sense of humor and opinions and normal human things.
I'm getting worse. I'm somehow more empty. I hardly think anymore. My autopilot has taken over. I can't function anymore. Even my mental breakdowns have just turned into panic attacks cause I don't even feel that shit anymore.
I can't even talk to my friends anymore cause I'm just gone. | depression |
I'm very new to Reddit so I hope I'm doing this right.
I need some advice. I'm an exchange student in a country where I don't speak the language so needless to say that I can't go see a therapist there. I've seen a therapist back in my hometown before leaving (2 months ago) but this is getting worse and worse.
Basically, flashback :
When I was in highschool, I was raped by my (ex)boyfriend just before I asked to break up. I was drunk and he took advantage of it for his "last time fucking me". It took me 1 year to realise it. During this year, my sexuality was a disaster: I was taking a lot of risks (fucking without any protection, risky stuff, etc)
Then, I went to see a doctor and talked about something that triggered me. He then confirmed that yes, it was rape.
Since then, I've been spiralling and it's been almost 2-3 years now.
I don't know how to fonction. Sometimes I'm fine but only sometimes.
Sometimes I'm horny but just thinking about being touched or to touch someone makes mentally and physically me sick.
I really want to feel better, I don't understand my body and my mind. I'm Lost.
The worst part is that I think it's getting worse and worse with time. I'm only 20, I want to live normally.
I know that I need to see a professional but that won't be possible for at least 10 months. I know it'll be difficult to help me with this post. I dont really know what I'm looking for. Maybe some confort?
Thank you | ptsd |
Hoping and doing my best to help those living with PTSD.
Thank you for your time, have a great day!
​
https://youtu.be/tSZ66p9z7xU | ptsd |
I have so many obsessions that its hard to distinguish between 'myself' and OCD, cause it feels like every thought is a product of my OCD. It doesn't help that I have ASD too, so its even harder to distinguish between obsessive thoughts and 'normal thinking' cause I don't even know if my 'normal thinking' is the same as everyone else's. One of my main obsessions has been about school and being stupid/unintelligent, but I have various other obsessions that have come and gone over the years. Recently school has become too much to deal with, life has become too much to deal with, and I'm beating myself up about it (metaphorically) so much its suffocating. I can't study or focus due to anxiety and mental fog, and in addition I have so many compulsions that use intelligence and my future as a threat - e.g. 'if you don't follow this strict set of rules about where you can step on the pavement, counting in sets of two for every step, not stepping on the cracks, counting in sets of two the amount of lamp posts you pass - then you will continue to fail at school, you won't go to uni, you're teachers and family will give up on you and everyone will see how much of a failure you are'. But at school I'm so so anxious I feel like I'm constantly failing at everything and I can't convince myself otherwise. I spend so much time staring into space I can't bring myself to do anything else. The anxiety is getting worse and worse, and on top of that I'm constantly plagued with various other obsessions and compulsions throughout the day. I'm sexist against my own sex and it's making me hate myself. I mess up my words and I can't stop thinking about if for the rest of the day or week, I care so much about what people think of me. I have a fear that at some point in the future I am going to be tortured and I can't avoid it - all the terrible things that people experience will happen to me because its only fair that we all experience the same amount of trauma. I'm a weak person and I look for excuses to prove otherwise, instead internally blaming my mental illnesses then bullying myself because other people have it so much worse. | OCD |
I completely university over 1.5 years ago. I had a huge burn out that I think I'm still recovering from a little. But I've done nothing with my life for nearly 2 years.
I went from being someone who did everything all the time, no stopping, no breaks and going above and beyond and using stress to keep me going.....to the complete opposite. Now, I can't even do the smallest of tasks without it feeling like a mountain.
**How did you finally get yourself into a place where you created your own motivation?**
**How do you function without stress and deadlines?**
I do have a job where I can pick and choose my own shifts and cancel whenever I want but it's not great. It has to be like this because I get overwhelmed and run down if I do too much (which isn't a lot) but it's not getting me anywhere and I can only do minimal hours before I hit breaking point.
I want to own my own business, I want to learn new skills and I want to do so much but I can't do anything anymore and without the structure of education (which I simultaneously hated but needed) my life has taken a turn I never thought it would.
**Does anyone have any experience of finishing uni and then having your life completely come to a standstill where your executive dysfunction took over?**
I've no idea how to kick-start my life. I'm not currently medicated as I'm waiting for supervision but that could be 6 months away unfortunately. I've just no idea how to do life without school and I always thought I would be great once I left and didn't have people telling me what to do. I was so wrong. | ADHD |
I’m doing a fundraiser for Mind and I’ve been procrastinating posting the description on my social media for hours due to intrusive thoughts. I wanted to raise a bit of awareness for OCD in the post but I’m really scared of being judged, seen as an attention seeker or people not understanding. Do I save myself the worry and take out the bit about my experiences or do I just post it? I rarely post on social media so this is a big thing.
If it helps this is what I’ve pencilled in:
This March I’ll be taking part in the @mindcharity 27 27 fundraiser for mental health. I will post the link in my bio.
As well as running 27 miles in 27 days to represent the 27% of uni students who report a mental health issue, I’m planning a 27 mile bike ride, hopefully on the 27th March.
This cause is personal to me, having had depression, OCD and social anxiety for most of my years in high school and college. As well as raising money for Mind, I want to use this to raise some awareness myself for the few people who will read this post.
I want to focus on OCD because I have personal experience and also feel like most people who haven’t got the condition or aren’t professionals have a skewed perception of what it is. I’d been seeing professionals for 4 years before I was diagnosed, despite likely having it since age 7 or 8, for this reason - until I found out I had it I had no idea what it was and wasn’t comfortable talking about it due to feeling completely alone, crazy and messed up having the intrusive thoughts despite 1 in 50 people having OCD.
It is not just an adjective to describe being excessively clean. You’re not ‘so OCD’ because you like to line things up and for things to be tidy or wash your hands a lot. This narrative is a highly harmful one to push. I have added to the post some information on the types of intrusive thoughts and obsessions that can be issues. For me, fear about being harmed or harming others, obsessive guilt over past events (real event OCD), relationship OCD, hypochondria and perfectionism have been the main themes. But there are many others which people experience but don’t know why due to a lack of awareness. Many people have OCD without knowing what it is and don’t have the ability to realise that their thoughts aren’t real, accurate or logical.
Even if you don’t donate to the fundraiser, I hope this post helps a few people understand a bit more a widely misunderstood condition. Mental health isn’t just depression and anxiety. Many common illnesses are still very misunderstood.
Thank you for reading, and thank you so much in advance to those who donate ❤️ | OCD |
I used to be a relatively normal person. I used to go to school, and then did some things afterwards, like meeting up with friends. I always needed time to relax, but it wasn't excessive.
During the past 10 or so years, I've turned into what's bordering on bedridden. And I'm physically kinda healthy, not overweight, etc. I managed to get through university and I somehow manage to uphold a job, but that is literally taking all the energy that I have and then some.
When I get home, I lie down in bed. And I stay there. I don't have energy to do anything else. I don't meet up with anyone. Very occasionally I do because I'm practically forced, and then I feel like I have to sleep for a week. I occasionally exercise; I actually do feel better after I do, but I rarely have the energy to get myself starting to go to the gym.
This week I didn't have to work, and I literally stayed in bed all week. I only get up to prepare food (I eat in bed), to go to the bathroom. I make the effort to brush my teeth and wash myself everyday because I hate it when I smell. But that's about it.
There are so many things I wanted to do. So many people I haven't talked to in months and years that I want to initiate contact with again. But what would we even talk about? I've wanted to go to the gym everyday this week, but didn't muster up the energy to get going. I wanted to clean my apartment because it looks like HELL in here. There's literally trash and dirty clothes all over the floor, for weeks and months now. It bothers me but I can't clean it up. I can't start.
I'm lonely and sometimes I get the stupid idea that dating someone would help me out of my misery. I swipe on apps and I get matches (duh, I'm a woman). I never write first. Some people message me, but I almost never reply back. Sometimes I do, but then I never get back to them after. It sickens me when I read things like "any woman who doesn't reply to you is out partying with Chad" LMAO right I'm over here lying in bed and will probably develop bedsores before I have the energy and courage to meet up with a guy again.
I don't even know why I'm writing this. I guess I'm morbidly curious if there are other people who literally spend their entire (non-working) lives in their bed? I swear if you forced me to sit down on a chair or couch for even an hour in my off-time it would feel like work. Why sit when lying is less work.
How to get out of this place? I don't know. I'm already on anti-depressants. They stopped me from having suicidal thoughts so often, so I guess that's good. But they didn't boost my energy at all, sadly. I probably also have ADHD and this is making me lack initiative. Not sure where to go from here. | depression |
I’ve never been the best at making friends. I don’t like small talk, I don’t understand it on a personal level but I understand it on a social level. I don’t know how to really initiate conversation because I get really anxious, and I tend to overshare all the time. I don’t always like talking to people but it would be nice if I had some friends who understood me and who I enjoyed conversing with. I guess I just have a hard time with the give and take of friendship. I expect everyone to understand that I flake a lot, sometimes I won’t answer phone calls but I’ll respond to your texts. Sometimes I won’t respond for days and sometimes I won’t respond for months or weeks, but I’ll always be here to give you good advice and help you through a difficult time. I care about the idea of having friends but I want to actually care about making friends and maintaining those relationships just as well. Does anyone else have this problem? | aspergers |
I asked my psych for Buspirone for OCD but he’s reluctant to prescribe it. He says the literature shows that it may help with the anxiety portion of OCD but not the actual repetitive behaviors.
I don’t understand how that’s a thing. My repetitive behaviors are driven by anxiety. I wash my hands continuously because if I don’t I get a crippling wave of anxiety and the fear that something will go wrong. Once the anxiety is fixed, what remains? What stops me from just… not washing my hands? | OCD |
I’m literally writing this because I’m sure I’ll forget it in the next ten minutes. I have a terrible memory but I also could have an obsession with trying to remember multiple things at once. This is the most bothersome thing I think I struggle with. My mind races and I jump from thought to thought. I have multiple tabs open on my mind it seems like. Somebody explained it really well once that it feels like a highway and you keep running out to try to hop in the cars. Once I pick one then I forget about the rest. My therapist says that I should kind of use it as my natural filter, if I forget then it probably wasn’t important. If it comes back around then it probably was. I sometimes feel like I need to write down every thought so I don’t lose track of what I was doing and sometimes that happens when I’m talking.
Makes me feel defective. Anybody else have this problem or have identified it further to learn more? | OCD |
Whenever i feel a slight pain in my chest, stomach, head, basically anywhere with organs, I think the worst. And the only way to stop those thoughts is to go to the doctor and have them tell me I'm fine. Like right now I have a very slight pain in my chest and I'm worried that it's somthing serious and I need to go to the hospital, even though I'm 99% sure it's nothing. This happens with everything, headaches, stomach aches, sore throat, anything. | OCD |
Lets say you function nearly the same at 30mg vyvanse as you do on 60mg vyvanse. Same amount of noticable side effects during the day etc, would 60mg be unhealthier for you? Or does the dosage not matter?
I don’t know how to phrase this properly for some reason. Basically asking if the dosage amount affects the level of damage/elevated amount of neurotransmitter pathways or whatever (over an extended period of usage say a year), or if its the same amount regardless of dosage since ur still getting the amfetamine in you and its changing ur brain regardless. | ADHD |
I’ve had one sexual partner who i’m currently with, and we use condoms. I’ve gotten tested for STDs, and I’m clean. Still I have nearly anxiety attacks after each time i’m with him, because I manage to convince myself that I have every disease in the book. Woke up with a red mark on my hand this morning because of the way I had been sleeping - guess what my first thought was? syphillis.
I swear I’m becoming a nun | OCD |
I was diagnosed with PTSD a few months ago by a licensed psychologist. I had to get a 2 hour psychological assessment in order for me to get disability accommodations at my university. It was a surprise, but made sense. I never bothered to look at the PTSD symptoms. I always thought I had extreme anxiety mixed with paranoia.
I have been seeing my therapist for around 5 months now and to say she knows me is a lie. I have not even told her half of the stuff I’ve been through. Part of that is because I think I’m repressing some trauma, but some of it is vague enough to be remembered.
Anyways, I told her about it and she doubted it and made this confused face. She even said everyone has trauma and basically made me feel invalidated? She even looked up the symptoms on her phone to “rediagnose me”. I really like her as an *eating disorder* therapist, she has helped me very much with my anorexia, but I dunno this made me feel very invalidated and shitty.
What should I do about it? Does she have a right to doubt it?
Edit: thank you guys so much. I’ve been reading through all the comments and it really means so much to me that you all are supportive. I also appreciate you guys telling me some of your personal experiences. Thank you again ❤️ | ptsd |
Long story short im 21F always had anxiety/ocd but going through a big flare up since may. Already experienced something like this and went through it on my own but now i want to do therapy and solve my problems before my adult life if that makes sense.
I started seeing this therapist (we will call her N) right before my flare up which i think happened a little bit because of therapy and talking about trauma but i dont feel like shes getting that i have a panic disorder since may and that i have irrational phobias. I get along with her and everything is perfect and were working to see the root of the problem but i could use some help with my panic and my life right now. I learned about CBT and how it would be perfect for me so i talked with a Cbt therapist today and she told me with the time and the money i could totally do both therapies at the same time or pause my therapy with N, get a CBT therapy and then go back to N which i think is a great « everyday therapist » if u get me. Sorry if this is long and sorry for my english since im not a native speaker but is this really a possibility and is this helpful? | OCD |
I don't really know who I used to be in all honesty but I'm just assuming I was happier and just de-evolved into whatever I am now.
I feel completely hollow and empty inside and feel like I'm on autopilot most of the time. I forget everything once it happens and have to put effort into remembering things that happened just a few minutes or even seconds ago. I have no hopes, dreams or ambitions nor do I feel anything nowadays. I don't even remember what I look like most of the time.
Thinking about what my future holds is stupid because I can't even picture what's going to happen tomorrow or a week from now. All I know is that it's a freak miracle that I made it to 18, a mistake that wasn't meant to happen and now the universe doesn't know how to fix it so it just watches out of curiosity.
It's like somebody hit factory reset on me months ago without my permission and I'm just waiting to be reprogrammed again, but fuck knows if that day will ever come. | depression |
First i want to apologize in advance for any spelling mistakes as i do i have a Dyslexia. Also formatting as im on mobile.
Trigger warning for sexual abuse and Incest.
Anyway about 6 years ago i found my brother molesting our little sister. He is now in prison and my sister has been in therapy. She is doing really well now thankfully. I my self had not seeked out therapy right after as my mom got a family Counselor right after and i thought that was enough help. A few years a go i started having dreams, I wouldn’t call them nightmares as they weren’t scary. They where just of my brother being out of prison and every one actually as if nothing happened and me being angry. These dreams became more and more frequent until I finally decided I needed to talk to someone about it. Ive been in Therapy now for a few months and was just recently my therapist told me she believes i have PTSD. Logically i know it would make sense but i cant help but think I haven’t been through enough to be traumatized. I just keep getting this sense of guilt because other people have gone through so much worse or that i should be strong enough and enough time has passed that i should just be over it. I also feel guilty because my little sister has been doing so well lately and i feel like if shes doing ok I shouldn’t be any worse of as her because I wasn’t the one who was abused by our brother. Im not sure what im looking for by posting this, maybe just wanting to put it out there or hear someone else say that they’ve been thought similar feeling after being diagnosed. If you’ve read this far thanks for listening to my ramblings. | ptsd |
I've cancelled last minute to a lot of things in my life. For all sorts of reasons, often the product of things building up in my head that aren't real. This lead me to not: going out to see friends even after years, missing important meetings with college advisors that are suppose to help me in deciding my future, and therapy.
I've cancelled on my therapist on more than one guilty occasions. Sometimes, I just don't have the energy to go through an entire session with them, even if its to my benefit. Many times, I have promised them that I would do something that was meant to help me in my life, and I didn't. I chickened out, or procrastinated, or forgot. And with the shame that would build up... I couldn't muster up the courage to face them. I've lied and said I did the things that I promised to do, when I didn't. I feel like I'm wasting their time by not doing the things that are so obviously helpful and important for me to do. It's bad enough I do that to myself on the daily, but to put that burden on another? Words can't describe my degree of self loathing.
And then, I told the truth. That I lied. And that I was afraid of disappointing them. And they pointed out that that's exactly what they're here for. To support me in my life, without judgement or bias, but through observations from the things I've told them and trying to come up with a plan based on that, that would best help me. Even if they are not my parent, or my friend, they do care for me, and want me to do well. And by that same logic, they don't want to see me suffer.
It kills me whenever they call or text me to know if I'm alright, and that I'm safe, because I would be too much of a coward at times to even give them an excuse and lie to them over the phone. So I try not to as much as I can, knowing that this is a part of myself they have to know about if I'm taking this seriously. I'm very fortunate to have the therapist I have. And so I hope to use my fear of disappointing them, not as a negative thing that crushes me with overwhelming guilt and disable me from doing anything but watch my own downfall, but to use as a positive motivator and to do right by them and all the effort they're putting in. And most importantly of all, as much as I resent admitting it out loud, the effort I put in.
**TL;DR: Your support network can't support you, if you don't let them.**
*I was thinking about all this while listening and crying to this song* [Mother Mother - "It's Alright"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5-KJgVsoUM). *And man, sometimes it feels good to be told, "It's alright, it's okay." Even if you* know *that*, *it's very different from being* told *that.* | ADHD |
Hey there,
I suffer from debilitating anxiety symptoms and I wonder if anyone has given Clonidine a shot. Can anyone please share his/her experience? To be honest I am not interested in its effects on sleep, but rather on symptoms like startle, response, hypervigilance, hyperarousal and overstimulation when out in public....Every experience report is appreciated. | ptsd |
I honestly have no idea if my eye contact comes off weird or whatever but it's just simply easier to understand where the social interaction's going when I'm looking at the person when I try and initiate a conversation for example and the person that I'm talking to doesn't look at me at all times like if their eyes wanders around a lot while I'm talking that's an indicator that they're just not interested or maybe they're just not in the mood another example is when I'm passing acquaintances I hold people gazes to see if there'll be an interaction at all as in when someone looks away deliberately then they're simply ignoring me so it's really very important to me and I don't find it uncomfortable it's really easier to communicate/be friendly using eyes than verbally having to adjust my tone (so i dont sound off)for example(i just feel that more effort is put into verbal communication /simply harder for me)what I'm saying is I don't seem to understand the whole aspies tend to lack eye contact??is it just me or am i just missing the meaning of the lack of eye contact bit. | aspergers |
Hello everyone!I have been searching the web but was unable to find an answer.
Apologies for the extra long text below I hope it is readable :) 26yr old student here - For the past few years I have been experiencing something that I can only describe as **"content overload"**, and *was wondering if anyone else feels like this sometimes.*
Whilst surfing the internet I find a lot of interesting content, concepts, photos, videos and so on and I have a huge urge to save it. This applies to a lot of the content being consumed, but also quickly feeds into awe and creativity, and a lot of ideas and scenarios emerge from this - the latter I wish to save too.
I have hundreds of bookmarks on Chrome, at times hundreds of tabs open (my poor gaming PC does struggle and many sessions collapse eventually), lots of bookmarked Tweets, TikToks (liked and bookmarked) a huge amount saved on my phone, music!
The main reason for saving all this content is to revisit at a later stage for inspiration, reference or entertainment. So far I can pick up on my own life trends by scrolling through the years on my phone. These little glimpses also ***help me remember a lot***!
I feel my memory is generally very fragmentary and having so many points of reference helps with recollection, even though very episodic and equally fragmentary.
The huge amount of information/data really compounds on itself and it buries some of the content that for instance I may be looking for at a specific time. So ***what I am doing is inefficient***\*\*.\*\*
To help with this I was thinking to learn **Obsidian and create a virtual second brain** so that my own does not have to "struggle as much".
Does anyone else do this? I feel people in general will always save things for later but I think in my case it is taken to an extreme - *again maybe it is due to a difficult memory*. Sometimes I have the urge to save an entire creator's page content for the fear that if I don't that content may at some point be lost.
***Addendum****: more recently I have been experiencing some level of grief over the fact that so many people are forgotten - was walking down to the shops and imagined how complex people's lives are and essentially their experience is almost fully lost when they are gone - or at least that is to the people that do not know them much, but to some extent to their loved ones too. Saw some reconstructed video footage from World War2 and it was baffling thinking of the people that lived then and that are now no more. Dunno if I am just having an existential crisis lol* | ADHD |
Last year i lost my job, I had a really traumatic break up and I lost a close family member all around the same time. I only remember small fragments of last year, I can't remember most of last year, including what my exs face looks like, its all a blur. i only rem being in the hospital room and being on a flight and driving home crying after losing my job. As it nears the 1 year anniversary, my memory has become blurry again I have been unable to remember things for months including important things. I have been trying to write down, but I don't know what to do, people are having conversations with me and I can't remember what we talked about previously. | ptsd |
I recently got diagnosed with ADHD ( 23 f) two months ago. I have generalised anxiety disorder and had been taking escitaloprám for 4 months which honestly really helped me with my anxiety ( pretty sure I’d developed a panic disorder and escitaloprám was treating that too).
When I got diagnosed with adhd, I was prescribed bupropion 150( wellbutrin), I’d read amazing things and the first week it worked for me, made me feel better, reduced my anxiety but eventually it just gave me constant fatigue, after increasing my dose (300), I felt even worse, very very bitter, empty, just not myself at all ( I was also about to go on my period + personal shit was hitting the fan), as my dose increased, I stopped escitaloprám ( tapered it off) so I experienced really bad withdrawal symptoms (depersonalisation, fatigue, acidity, light headedness )
I could take my Wellbutrin at 12:30 noon and still be asleep by 1:30 am, it just made me feel really sad and tired. It took away all my energy, the 2 good things it did was reduce my anxiety and nicotine addiction. I am now switching to atomoxetine so I just wanted to know what it is that I could expect cause I’m so afraid of the side effects now.
I feel like I’m just now really processing my diagnosis and usually I feel pretty ok with it but these days it just seems a bit unfair, especially because people don’t understand and think they suffer through similar symptoms but can never understand the difference in the intensity. There’s a lot of personal family stuff that I’ve had to experience for the past 10 years so just having adhd on top of that (where I feel everything so intensely) just feels overwhelming right now.
Also, I know it’s better to be medicated with adhd but approximately how long do you think one should definitely take medication for?
Ps. I also am in therapy but currently all my sessions are about my anxiety | ADHD |
it’s too hard for me to explain what’s going on right now, because ocd is really hard to talk about, but it’s really bad tonight. i feel so stressed out and unaccomplished and i know my mom will be mad at me if i act out on this compulsion at this time in the night. tomorrow is an important day and i feel like if i don’t do my compulsions then i won’t be able to enjoy it because i’m not good enough. i wish i could talk to my mom about it but we’ll just end up arguing. i don’t know what to do and i really want to have a mental breakdown right now. | OCD |
Never done any therapy.
i suffer from OCD since i was ~14 years old.
Of course I didn't even know i had something wrong until thinking back years later that "Holy sh*it i had THAT BAD of an ocd back then?"
Those were the peak years, i couldn't touch anything because i would get the urge to clean it right away, i couldn't let anyone touch anything because if they touch them i can't touch it because contamination from something. And a lot of other symptoms, like i was 3 hours in the shower "to remove any contaminations". Everything in my room had to be PERFECTLY aligned or i would suffer. I had to listen at my phone's ringtone song (over the horizon) before bed, but i had to listen it over and over until it felt "just right" (sometimes even took 1 hour to feel it just right) and many other little symptoms that i can't even remember.
Slowly but surely my symptoms decreased, especially 2020 when after lockdown my lifestyle changed meeting my girlfriend, i slowly couldn't care of those compulsions and they died. My shower now takes 20 minutes from the 3 hours i would take when i was 15 or 16 (I'm now 19 yrs)
I'm not 100% OCD-free though.
I have to clean my phone a lot of times without any reason, although not everytime so it doesn't create any suffering.
my contamination ocd comes back a little bit when i buy new things. I have to have them clean, it's not bad as it was years ago but i can notice i try to have them clean or "contamination free"
I don't clean my phone because it needs to be clean, but because if it's not extremely clean, when i touch my other objects they could get dirty/contaminated.
TDLR: i had extreme ocd 5 years ago, now it's mostly gone but it is still present.
I would like to hear different people's advice in the comments below.
Should i seek therapy? Would they give me medicine?
I'll answer to everyone (if there are comments) | OCD |
Hey guys, I’m really
needing some guidance right now.
So until recently, I never knew that hyperfixation was a thing that people with ADHD experienced. I always knew I would get way too into things and people and obsessively think about them, but I just thought I was insane or something.
So here’s my problem. 5 months ago, I was dumped after nearly 2 years together. I’m 18, she was my first everything more or less, and losing her really fucked me up. Ever since then I’ve caught myself longing for a relationship or a connection or really anything.
This has led to absolutely terrible hyperfixation on any girl who gives me even the slightest amount of attention. I was talking to this one girl for nearly 3 months, thinking about her every second of every day. It was bad. She told me she liked me and I became just fucking obsessed.
I ended up hyperfixating to the point where I was stressing myself out over absolutely nothing all the time. So I blocked her on everything.
A few days ago I met this girl at a concert, she likes the same music as me and shares a similar hobby. I got her number and have been talking to her for a few days. Then I started to catch myself doing it again.
Thinking about dumb ass shit like what it would be like if we were dating, and thinking about what I would say to her to impress her and worrying when she didn’t immediately text me back.
I hate this. I hate this so much and I’m sick of it. It also pushes away anyone who could actually be something to me because I’m so focused on them and nothing else that it’s unappealing.
How the fuck do I fix this. It’s hurting me so so bad. I’m tempted to just cut off every woman I find remotely interesting because it keep leading to me being a fucking weirdo.
I know that I’m still not over my ex and am trying to fill a void with someone else, but I don’t know how to stop. My mind just keeps going and I don’t know what the fuck to do. | ADHD |
It’s supposed to help with my rapid mood swings. I don’t have a diagnosis of anything other than Aspergers and OCD. It’s odd since autism is not considered a mental illness and I was always told medication doesn’t help it. | aspergers |
I can tell it’s obsessive thinking because it’s often irrational and not really lining up with the real world. I know people on other subreddits might find these thoughts crazy, but I hope you’ll understand.
1.When going into the woods, I tend to worry a lot about ticks. I often fear tiny specks on me.
2.When listening to music, I tend to obsess about if I “really” like it. I tend to have a fear of being brainwashed. And it often prevents me from enjoying it.
3.I have fears of sexual activity in public, and that has often lead me when using the restroom to obsess about if my pee could have sperm in it. I know it makes literally no sense, but it gives me anxiety. | OCD |
I tried acupuncture yesterday. The clinic has 5 star google reviews. I was super stressed about going, never done it before. Anyway, I was going mainly for chronic insomnia. Wikipedia gives acupuncture mixed reviews on everything, then at the bottom it says it actually helps with insomnia. The experience was easier than I expected, I just sat in a recliner the whole time in a room with about 5 women also in recliners, dim lights, light meditative music. I came home and vaped a bit after. Then last night I had a ton of dreams, and my sleep was decent. I didn't take the l-theanine or the french oak wood. I slept slightly better than average and had kind of odd, but pleasant (aside from the authorities chasing me most of the time), vivid dreams. I expected for sure I had killed off any dream potential with vaping. I don't even have vivid dreams normally without vaping.
Anyway, I'll plan on a few more acupuncture sessions, probably give a couple weeks between sessions.
And the dreams are noteworthy since a lot of people might avoid it if it caused more dreams. I only had nightmares for 3 years then started to have normal dreams again. I didn't want to deal with the nightmares for 3 years, then after I started to analyze them they cleared up a bit. Going through the last few years and the COVID lockdowns, my dreams actually started turning grey, to the point where all I remembered was having some grey hazy dream. No details. I've been trying to remember them again. | ptsd |
I don't know if this is the right sub for this, but I thought you guys might be able to relate on issues with confrontation. If there's a better place for me to post this, please do let me know.
I have been living on my current property for 4 years now with little to no problems until my landlords sold their house and moved into a house on the same property this spring, about 10 yards away from my house. They are young retirees who seem to be putting their time and energy (read: boredom) into renovating and remodeling the property. The water pressure has been unbearable, rendering the dishwasher unusable for several years. They remedied it within 2 months of them moving in by excavating and putting in a well and new pump over the course of a week. Then, after the well, my water tested positive for contaminants and I couldn't use it for a second week. During this process, during the beginning of the pandemic, they required me to have several people come into my home. Just setting the scene a little bit.
Two days ago, I was notified that an electrician will need to have access to my house for an indeterminate amount of time for an unspecified purpose. They met with the electrician outside my house today without masks on. They then followed up today with a text at 9:30 PM (very late for them) letting me know they are also "looking into renovations on (my) house". They are trying to schedule a contractor to inspect the foundation, informing me that he may be there for several hours.
This is not repair or maintenance, this is a renovation that is planned for \*after\* I move off the property; a time which has not yet been agreed upon and I may not have the ability to do any time soon. My lease was supposed to run out in February, but with the pandemic and other life stuff, I entered an agreement to go month-to-month with them. People have been renting and buying up properties around my area ever since the pandemic hit, I'm genuinely unsure if I'll be able to find a suitable place to live that will be willing to accommodate my two pets. I really don't have anywhere else to go and the whole trapped, walls-closing-in panic is hitting very hard.
Ever since coming off of benzos I have struggled greatly with confrontation, just saying "no" to people in general. I'm trying to practice, but situations like this where I feel people have immense power over my life make it \*extremely\* difficult. So, I see myself in a week having people doing unnecessary work inside my home with me sitting on the couch having an unrelenting chain of panic attacks, then furiously decontaminating everything they touched. All because I'm afraid to say "no, that doesn't work for me, please put your retirement project off for a little bit until the world calms down".
My instinct is to say "no, given the state of the world right now I'm not comfortable with people coming into my home" and not back down. It would be really helpful if someone could toss me some advice on how they would handle a situation like this, literally any help at all, I'm very alone in dealing with this. I'm trying to put all these therapy tools to use but moments like this are like... I think I can handle myself okay, but I don't trust that \*they\* will. And in this situation, they have an immense amount of power and control over my life. | ptsd |
Hi folks!
Well, I'm 25, and recently, up until last week, I've discovered some of the suspicious feelings that we have as we are growing up that something was "terribly wrong".
6 years ago, I had my first major depression breakdown due to childhood bullying, physical and verbal abuse. And at that time, I had a specific episode that triggered this feeling and made me suicidal to the point that it made me want to slit my wrists, jump in front of a car or hang myself. The main point wasn't that I was depressed, but in a way that all my feelings of being inadequate, not able to blend into people, being ridiculed for not having social skills and get my ass handled for being "autistic", both physically and verbally, snowballed to the point that I almost killed myself twice.
Fast forward to the present moment. A 25yo IT manager, private pilot (don't even ask me how I got the license, fake it 'till you make it), husband, with the current diagnoses from multiple psychiatrists:
* Major depression.
* Anxiety disorder.
* Bipolar type 2.
* ADHD (one of those kids, as they say).
I took multiple medications as you can imagine, and every single time that I took them, I really believed that it would take those feelings of being inadequate, impulsivity, aggressive behavior, mood swings, poor concentration, depressive state, away from me. Until I felt recently that I should clarify, once and for all, what the hell was happening with me, because these feeling were not being subsided. So I went to a psychiatrist and after that to a therapist, and both of them told me that I should get tested. Apart from that, I recently discovered some documents that my mother kept from me, it were related to past tests from when I was a kid. And god damn it, I knew that I was right. Asperger's with Borderline traits.
So this week I'm being tested to confirm the diagnosis, but I guess this is not going to change because I never treated or got any kind of support when I was a kid. So the message that I want to get through is:
Please, get yourself, your kids, significant others, family members or friends tested. They don't need to go through the same suffering as I did and as millions of people that suffers from not having the adequate resources to get helped. Getting the right support is what matters the most.
Edit: "Don't wait until someone breaks down and becomes diagnosed with the whole DSM-5." Yeah, this expression passed the wrong impression like AS could cause these disorders, but they're co-morbid. Just understand that I'm so pissed that my mother kept me from this for 21 years and I couldn't learn skills to cope with it earlier. Instead, others treated me like shit, made me hate myself for what I am, like, I couldn't understand myself or either came to accept what I am. And I couldn't take it no more. Now I see things clearly and I might get the appropriate help for the first time in my life. Maybe, just maybe, now I can love and be myself as I really am. | aspergers |
hello. new poster on this subreddit.. diagnosed with severe ADHD that impairs not just work and study but also my daily life. a few days ago o ran out of my medication. absolutely no pills left. it was awful because scheduling an appointment with my doctor for refills is so hard ... it's like I need medication to even get my medication. anyways, that's not the point of the post. i got my pills back yay! but before that i tried to cook something for my roommate and i in an attempt to be nice since my roommate has been really stressed with work. i turned on the stove, (electric) to heat some water for pasta but i needed to use the bathroom. my roommate was in the kitchen working, so i knew they were there on case it boiled over. turns out i turned on the wrong burner and turned on the one that had a glass container on it that i had left from that morning. find out that the burner absolutely charred the container and that i had turned on the wrong burner, tried to move it but the glass container exploded everywhere and got glass on the floor and my roommate got a glass cut in their finger. my roommate said it was okay and not to worry, but i felt like crying. just a couple of days without my medication and i had already destroyed something that didn't belong to me and hurt my roommate because of my carelessness and my inability to focus on details or to do things right. i know it might be an unpopular thing to say but i wish I didn't have ADHD. i know it's a part of me, i know it made me who i am, but i hate how it affects my life. i wish my brain was normal. i wish I didn't have to take pills every single day just to function and take care of myself. | ADHD |
I should have gone years ago, but I’m in my final semester and I’m worried I won’t be able to finish. The woman who helped me was very caring and seemed to know my situation better than I did. She’s going to work with me and my professors to accommodate me appropriately and I’ll also be meeting with a peer mentor each week for the remainder of the semester to keep me on track and hold me accountable. I feel so much better at the moment even though my situation hasn’t improved yet. I think I really just needed validation that my struggles with ADHD and anxiety are real. Hoping to go forward and finish my degree program strong. If anyone is considering visiting their accessibility services or something similar at school you CERTAINLY SHOULD! Sometimes all you need is someone who is there to pick you up when you’ve fallen down. Hope this helps some folks who are in school but unsure of where to turn! | ADHD |
Still reeling this morning from a nightmare where I met my abuser face to face after they followed me around for what felt like forever. Their cruel face so close to mine. When I tried to hurt them, the crowd held me back. Woke up this morning in a complete fog unsure what planet I was on…Jesus Christ the brain and it’s memories are fucking treacherous waters. The definition of hyper vigilance is “preparing for any god damn thing that will trigger the trauma apocalypse in our brain”. Today, I will stare at a wall until it becomes a wall. What’s your one goal today? | ptsd |
I’ve had OCD since I was a kid, and I’ve found that I also really struggled with motivation to do things like cleaning, exercise and even things that I want to do like drawing and painting.
Every time I try to turn my life around and just push through and get things done, it only last for a few days and then my mind and body feels like a potato and I really have to push through this mental block to keep positive and motivated.
I don’t know if anyone else feels the same way. I have had depression and it generally comes and goes so I guess sometimes it is depression.
I just feel like I get so mentally exhausted from dealing with OCD and then trying to keep on top of everything that there must be some sort of toll it takes on me.
Unless I’m actually just lazy as heck and my mind is just doing mental gymnastics to prove otherwise 😅 | OCD |
Does anyone have any recommendations for experimental research for ptsd? I’m on 9 medications and the only way I’m surviving is expressing my feelings through music. I just want to be better | ptsd |
I'm really scared I'm having a hard time functioning. i was doing just fine, i was building up self esteem, i found passion in fashion, i was writing again, felt creative, had routines....
then my serotonin just decided to go on vacation. i can barely move, i can barely think. i have to force myself to do pretty much anything. I've been awake since 7a, i finally forced myself to get dressed and get cigarettes around noon, eat a breakfast pancake wrapped sausage. then i just say in bed, telling myself to do something *anything* but it's like i couldn't move.
not lack of motivation so much as paralyzed into inaction. like no matter what i do in gonna fuck it up. i told myself to do something easy, like build a house in my sims game, something that won't cause the sky to fall off i mess it up. but i just looked at the laptop and scrolled through social media without really looking at anything. i finally forced myself to make food after six hours.
and I'm... angry, and hurt. i just found out that more people have broken my trust, left out important information, smeared my name, told lies, etc. I'm afraid to talk to anybody because i don't know who i can trust, don't know what is true. there are two friends that have never broken my trust in the twenty years I've known them, but on the other hand there are people that I've known longer or just as long who did things i never thought their be capable of.
i asked for help, i was scared, and got told i was being toxic, got told to cut out the self pity, but i really just feel like a worthless dick up and things will never get better and i don't know how to work through this. I've got 3 cats to take care of and I'm starting school next week, but i can barely take care of myself. i don't know what to do or what's wrong with me. | ptsd |
I've met a handful of kids with Aspergers with behavior that is more akin to that of kids with ODD (not that it's impossible to have both). In at least one of these cases, it was made abundantly clear that the reason the kid would keep acting up was that he knew he could get away with it and expect little to no consequence. Whenever inquired about his behavior, his mother would just say that it's because of his Aspergers, and she worried that disciplining him too severely would makethings worse.
Now, I'm not going to say that there aren't things that you should be a little more understanding about (most social faux pas are just honest mistakes, which may warrant correcting, but not punishment), but I promise that aspies are very capable of discerning the difference between right and wrong. For the most part, your disciplinary tactics shouldn't really differ from what they would be for a NT child.
If you allow your child's diagnosis to be an excuse for them walking all over you, then that's exactly what they'll do. On top of making your life a lot more miserable than it needs to be, it makes aspies look bad as a whole when you tell other people that your kid's behavior sucks because of their Aspergers. Most NTs don't know much about aspies, so if you tell them that, they're going to assume we're all like that. | aspergers |
My gf had a car crash late 2018 she was 21 by that that time . I met her one year and half ago and since we started dating she has been talking so much in an obvious way about what happened through out the whole experience the crash , the pain , pre-surgical measures , physiotherapy , pain....pain....pain
So from what I could understand it can't tell it was a ptsd but after we got closer I discovered that she had social anxiety , sleeping rhythm disorder , mod swinging .
Last june she was insisting to have a surgery to remove bone screws and slices not because they cause any harm or damage but because she doesn't accept them being inside her .
I thought the problem wasn't really them being there but they keep reminding her of the accident .
I managed to convince her to change her mind by reminding her that the slices and screws are there for aiding and as they cause no or minimal harm .
From this point I worked on helping her via different ways :
- Reminding her she was lucky enough to seek medical support and to pay for the surgery
- the accident it self left her with very very little disability that can hardly be noticed
- she nearly has pain cycles every two months and they are much painful during winter . It's a normal complication of the surgery and we were assured by doctors
Also after the accident she refused to use cars and she used public transportation all the time but last August I manged to convince her to buy a new car and to travel again by car and she did .
After the talks with her trying to diminish the burden and the importance of the event as I mentioned before it left nearly no disability or disfigurement , I could feel improvement few sleeping rhythm disorders , fairly stable mod and few pain cycles which was a big surprise .
During one of our dates she made a promise that she would never recall or talk about the accident anymore because she simply was totally convinced that the crash had no impact on her life or her
But a week ago she told me she wanted to tell me something and when I asked she told that she had broken the promise and asked one of her cousins of pics of her crashed car out of no where and for no purpose so she felt ashamed and guilty and she started to break and cried .
At this point im really wondering how effective was my help ? Are we really having a progress ? And may you people recommend me a strategy for aiding ?
We live in a place where people don't know about ptsd including her family and they don't believe in Psychiatry for such small cases
IM SORRY FOR BEING SO COMPREHENSIVE , I'M SORRY IF TRIGGERED SOMEBODY OUT THERE BUDDY YOU ARE WONDERFUL AND STRONG YOU WILL OVERCOME PTSD DON'T WORRY .
AND FINALLY SORRY FOR MY POOR ENGLISH | ptsd |
I just recently got diagnosed with ocd with my main compulsion to play out my intrusive thoughts in my head until it’s don’t or else it will happen in real life. I’ve been “protecting “ myself and my loved ones by doing this for decades and I was finally diagnosed.
With covid I’ve had to play out my loved ones getting covid and dying to prevent them from getting it. I had the thought “ what if your toddler daughter gets Covid?” right after I was diagnosed and instead of playing it out I fought back.
“No she won’t, this is an intrusive thought”
We’ll… she caught covid shortly after. Luckily with mild symptoms, but I can’t help but feel like it’s my fault because I didn’t play out the thought in my head.
Now it’s just a constant battle between should I continue my treatments or risk something else happening if I ignore my ocd. | OCD |
So, I don't even know why I am writing this post, I suppose I just need to write down my thoughts where someone in my position might read it. This is my second time on setraline, I have been on 100 mg for seven months and have noticed a difference regarding my depression but not as much when it comes to OCD/anxiety. Going to see my doctor tomorrow, who is also my therapist, and see what she says. Right now I want to increase the dose.
This is my second time on setraline. Last time I changed to fluoxetine because if weight gain, this time however I don't feel like I gained as much, and what I have gained might be due to the fact that I don't starve myself.(lol) My doctor actually said that it can be a difference between the brands because they use different additional substances. In case someone is curious.
Anyway.
Right now I feel a tad hopeless and alone. Had a breakdown last week and been much worse ever since, a lapse is what you call it right. Simply wonderful.
Also, I felt that fluoxetine was more effective but had more side effects with it, like weight gain even after I stopped taking them. However right now I am actually considering trying them for a third time.
The therapy I am in is called istdp. | OCD |
I recently knew a guy at uni and we’ve been consistently texting and rarely seeing each other we don’t share classes and our schedules are different. Anyway, so he initiates conversation at days and so do i. But the problem isn’t here. The problem is that i can’t foxus if my phone is turned on or if i’m waiting a text from him. Like the best thing is to turn my phone off and not text him but at the same time i want to keep this relationship growing :( like he knows i get distracted my social media so i don’t have these but i can’t tell him i get distracted my his texts :( like i feel that the best thing i can do is to tell him that i need my phone turned off all day to focus and that we should start meeting at uni like idk :( but we rarely met tho we are close but i don’t know if he wants to meet me that much :( like i can turn off my phone and not reply to my friends and everything but it’s diff with him. My friends know me that i take time but him i always replt fast. He’s not a normal crush. We has so so so much no common like crazy and i don’t want to lose him. :( i’m not really diagnosed so i can’t tell him about adhd because i’m not diagnosed i just suspect it and it runs in the family but my assessment is close | ADHD |
Everyone if my life but one person has made it so incredibly obvious I am a burden. I try so hard. I just want to die and let them all be happier. | depression |
Hello everyone,
I have been battling ocd all of my life; however, it only reached its peak about a year ago. Since then I have learned a lot about how to manage my ocd, what works, what doesn’t, etc. I still have difficult days but I am able to manage my ocd a lot better than when I was first diagnosed with it. I’m not a doctor or psychologist by any means and I know that ocd affects everyone differently. With that being said I would like to share what I have learned and help others get a better handle on their ocd. If you have any questions feel free to comment them below. Thank you for reading and I hope that I can share some of my advice with you all. | OCD |
I keep doing the same thing each time my significant other is around. If they come into the living room and I notice them, I go up to them and give them a hug and kiss. If I can't get up from my computer I take off my headphones and I say "hi." Every time I do those rituals, they say, "you're gonna get up and hug me and kiss me because I'm here." I do love them a lot, but they say they're just messing with me when they list down each thing I do for my rituals. I can't help it for whatever reason. It's a feeling that this sort of thing has to be done, but I get upset when being made fun of for it. How do I stop these so I won't get made fun of? | OCD |
Hi everyone! I'm currently working on a potential graphic novel about OCD and would love feedback from this community. Specifically, at the moment, the part I'm working on is focusing on negative experiences with therapy. For me, finally finding a therapist who practised CBT and ERP took some time. Quite a few who advertised as being CBT therapists, took the psychodynamic approach and as I'm sure many of you know - this form of therapy hasnt been proven to help OCD and in some cases can worsen it. If anyone would like to share their experience so that I can draw from it, I'd be very grateful- thank you! | OCD |
My bf and I have been together for a while now and we are starting to talk about marriage. His younger brother is autistic and has been diagnosed at an early age. He is in his late teens, friendly, and obeys his parents and can do simple tasks like laundry. He is socially awkward and has a hard time connecting with others outside of his family (even me). But I’ve had conversations with him and he has always been cordial. He enjoys playing games and anime for the most part and keeps to himself.
My concern is that when my bf and I live together and have a family, he wants his brother to move in with us once his parents have passed. I don’t know how I feel about that idea or if I am in the right to be concerned. My goal is for him to learn tasks that might help him lead a independent life but that is not my call to make. Right now he is in a program but I don’t know how his parents are reinforcing these skills or if they are. How can I understand him as a person better to feel okay with this situation? | aspergers |
im wondering how to tell if im really on the spectrum or if im just a hypochondriac..
I do have a cousin that real high on the spectrum..
Nobody thinks I am..
I don't think they know much about it . They just know im not like my cousin...
But it's not like someone on reddit could really diagnose me (not literally)
without ever meeting me right? | aspergers |
I've been married for almost 13 years now. I had 2 children prior to the marriage and they're both out of the house now. Now that I don't have the kids to focus on, I went back to school which I've had various degrees of success with.
My husband is a wounded warrior that suffered with pretty severe depression until recently. Now that he's more active and attentive in the home, he's noticing all my " wonderful quirks" (forgetfulness, how I have half done projects here and there, how I can never seem to just put things away and have small piles of stuff seemingly everywhere, how I have a hard time tackling projects that need to be done around the house, etc) and it's caused some pretty significant arguments, and even once he said he didn't know if he could stay married to me anymore. I spent YEARS of our marriage being there for him and taking care of our home while he was in his darkest depression (like literally sleeping up to 20 hours a day, not showering for weeks, not leaving the house for anything except drs apts, etc) and I feel very betrayed that he feels this way because of a condition that I have no real control over. My son also has ADHD and he watched him struggle, so he knows it's hard.
I feel so down, defeated, and useless right now. I've been on meds since the beginning of this year, but I don't think my meds are working as well any more. I'm already on 30mg of Adderall and I know the safe dose doesn't go much higher than that.
I don't know what to even do anymore. I just feel so fucking lost and alone right now. I have a med check on Monday, so I do plan on talking to my dr about my meds at least. | ADHD |
I know these are just false intrusive thoughts, but, why do they feel so real, why is the doubt so bad? I just want it to stop. I just want him to shut up. | OCD |
i had a bad fight with my best friend (who i thought of as family/a platonic “love of my life”/most important person in the world to me) on february. for the past several months i’ve been unable to sleep and have been experiencing constant flashbacks and panic attacks. it was a very bad fight, yes, but i guess because it was all verbal anger I didn’t think it was noteworthy enough for the possibility of PTSD. now, after my fourth week of being unable to sleep and dissociating in and out do i realize that holy shit, it is PTSD.
i don’t really know where to proceed. i’ve never formally been able to process trauma before, so i have no idea what direction to take. does anyone have any suggestions? i do currently have therapy, but it’s for depression/anxiety. what was the healing road for PTSD like for the rest of you? | ptsd |
So I used to always joke about The Simpsons. I never realized how much that show helped me socially. Like I learned things that I wouldn't have learned from shows that were geared for my age at the time I had started watching it when I was 6 years old. I'm F30 and I can't believe how much it helped me mask certain things. Like I would refer to episodes like "oo like in Simpsons when" or repeating funny quotes that people understood cuz they know where it came from. I knew how to be funny because of that show. Since even I don't watch it anymore, younger gens won't get my jokes too.
I learned more stuff from that show than I did from shows I should have been watching for my age.
Anyone else like that lol | aspergers |
hey all. this is my first time posting in here. with this, i'm attempting to see if anyone else can relate to what i have gone through and continue to experience.
to sum it up, i've been raped twice. the first incident was while i was in college, 2016. the last incident was from a romantic partner (whom i no longer have contact with), and it happened in 2018. i know it was a long time ago, but holy moly. i'm still so damaged...
PTSD has taken over me: i don't sleep well. i'm insecure beyond belief in my current romantic relationship. i'm insecure when it comes to friendships, or anything for that matter. i have nightmares. i have to remind myself that i'm safe. i can't be in dimly lit rooms, specifically with a TV on. i can't do certain sexual things because it induces intense flashbacks. speaking of flashbacks, i have them. all. the. time. it's like my mind is constantly hitting "replay" on these incidents. these are just some of the things i experience while living with these traumas.
is there anyone at all out there who has been through sexual assaults/etc and lives with similar symptoms? i just don't want to feel so alone anymore... | ptsd |
I’m contemplating suicide when my children go to be with their father during the holiday. I know they will be heartbroken, but I’ve been through hell and back and I feel there is no recovering from what I feel on a daily basis. I feel like suicide is something I will end up doing one day anyway. Why not get it over with? I dread leaving my children, but nothing can help me. All I can do is hope I don’t go to hell. I feel so lost. The thought of death terrifies me, but I want to do it on my accord. | depression |
My brain isn’t right and that’s why I’m like this and I don’t know if I’ll ever experience what a normal, functioning mind and mental state is like. And the things I see as common sense or correct actions aren’t actually logical at all to normal people. It’s weird to be so aware of your own inherent difference to others.
Like idk my friend will never really be able to fully understand why bringing up certain people or situations to me will send me into a spiral when I’d previously been doing just fine. | depression |
currently fearing i hadnt showered (which i think i did but i cant remember cuz OCD) since i touched a whole bunch of dogs and getting fur all over me and im going for my vaccine jab later. Would the fur that got on my skin or some form of hair go into my body through the jab? or m i just overthinking right now? i dont want any fur into my body 😭 | OCD |
I just cant see myself being around then. Not that ive made plans or even thought how it would happen. During this bs Pandemic, my friends whom are the same ones ive had since i was 5 or 6 all kinda disapeared. My little brother, the one who didnt follow my parents life plan, went from doing very well to a multimillionaire with 3 mansions, 2 ferraris, AMongst other high end sports and luxury cars, meanwhile i right now have $3 in my bank account. to make matters worse hes flying me down to miami, where he spends weekends at his villa with 100ft yacht parked outback, for christmas, but i dont have a return date. finding any purpose or even being able to go back to a job where i bust my ass 5060 hours a week to make 30-40k if im lucky and be miserable is damn near impossible now. The concept of money kinda gets tossed out the window when you know your only sibling makes 6 figures in a day sometimes. I cant google this issue, nor find anyone who has a similar one. most sibling earning diffeneces outside of celebrities and atheletes are 1 sibling making 100k and the other making a million, and they have the nerve to cry about it. essentially ive been priced out of my own life, where do i find a girl that ill be able to $$ for? all the ones that come around are used to being around millionairss-as my brother has made countless of our friends in the past decade, the same decade that i got off heroin in and just had 10 years a few months ago, of course even that gets diminished as 3 years after i quit he and his exwife decided to get married on the exact day i had gotten off of dope. they didnt know til 2-3 years after that, never congradulated me on it once after that however. I was looking for that but woouldnt have hurt, i could have said something before they got married but i didnt. i spend my days onewheeling around learning tricks which at my age i have no business doing, but i also dont wear any gear cuz if i die oh well. i just have no clue what to do now, if i were him and situations were reversed, id be handing him money in a larger quantity than enought to be broke in 1 week. dont get me wrong he does help, but its more of a half assed way. i broke my laptop on purpose few months ago\_decade old, cost maybe 400 new, 3 days later a new macbook air is delivered at my house(not my house, well was mine then parents whom are divoreced but back together moved back in) or ive watched his/our dog probly 1/3rd of the past 18 months at his house. shes 12, we got her when all 3 of us lived here, her breed usually only lasts 10 years. its our first dog and seeing aas neither of us have kids is very important. hell leave money for me when he leaves town for 10 days and i watch her, but the next 3-4 weekends hes gone nothing, i dont care, id watch the dog for free, i love her, but with a house that big there is alot that needs to be done, there are rooms that dont have people in them for months at a time. people will read this and likely say"you dont wanna live and your brother is that rich, dude just ask him for money or some shit, why are you depressed" bottom line the money wont make me happy. i feel like a worthless piece of shit who shohould have never been born or should have overdosed 11 years ago so i would be anon factor. he likely would have still been where hes at, one of my parents would be dead from losing their first son but liley better than having him turn into a burden.not all but mostly because of this bs that the powers that may be have brought upon this world. how do i live when such illogical, non scientific, propoganda is told to humanity coupled with my own personal stuff. can i do anything about that stuff, most people would say no, i possibly could. i have a 145 IQ, i can do anything i have the motivation to do, but when you cant get motivated by anything whats left. if you read this wow, sorry for the grammatical errors, kinda a shit subject and ive never told anyone any of this since due to the unwritten rule of protecting brothers brand/name, which i techinacally had first, a name that the more i thnk about it is from my father, while including my brothers, leaves me to wonder, who the fuck am i , i dont even have a name. fuck me 37m(idk how its 37, i dont look or feel it, feel like i woke up and its 10 years later) | depression |
During the day i still feel like i could fall asleep any second, i tried doing active stuff even going on walks or shopping but its hard to stay awake and my eyes feel heavy and my mind do hazy.
I dont know what else to try, it feels like i can never get enough rest even while sleeping in or taking naps.
Is there a way to get over this? | ptsd |
Even though I'm only 24, it feels like there really isn't any reason to continue. I feel as if I've either pushed people away by just being miserable all the time, or the friendships I had were out of convenience.
And I know situations like these are getting more and more common, but I really don't know what to do, can't seem to have any luck finding jobs, or anything that gives me any sort of happiness.
But by far the worst part is the loneliness, I just don't feel as if I can take it anymore, I don't even know how to go about trying to make new friendships because I'm either too miserable to even try, or an anxious mess.
So I wanted to ask, does it get any easier?
Because I honestly feel like I'm running out of time and options, I've stopped eating, sleeping and even leaving the house, it takes enough of my energy just to try and struggle through all the constant and terrible thoughts.
But anyway, If you've read this, thank you for your time, and hopefully you're having a better, happier time. | depression |
(24F) I have had ocd since my earliest memories, it’s insufferable. But i’ve never been sure which category I fall into (not that it’s a huge deal but i think it’d be helpful to know). The anxiety themes usually revolve around my partner potentially leaving me, the safety of my pets, and any upcoming social stressors (parties, interviews, etc). The compulsions include a lot of repetitive looping thoughts, touching or counting things a certain number of times, getting into bed at night, checking, turning lights on/off, repeating actions multiple times. anyway it’s a nightmare and i’ve sought treatment in the past but i have never been able to successfully abstain from carrying out a compulsion so i’ve always just given up. :-) | OCD |
So I forgot to lock the door for the second time in a few months and my roommates were pretty upset with me (nothing stolen but our house was unattended for several hours). After the first time I did it I tried a lot harder to really remember to lock it but today I was in a rush and was in and out of the house to get things I forgot, I know I locked the door at least a few times but obviously not the last time.
I feel so helpless because no matter how hard I try to remember to lock the door I still forget sometimes and it’s really important to remember!!!!
I want to tell my roommates that there’s just things that are really hard for me because of my ADHD but I’m afraid if I tell them they won’t trust me, and I can’t blame them, I put peoples belongings and pets at risk by leaving the door unlocked. Like why can’t I just remember to do things all the time?
What makes it worse is the advice I got from my roommates is like “just slow down and make sure it’s locked” like bro, I’m not gonna remember to slow down that’s the point !!!
Anyways I’ve been crying about how stupid and worthless I am for the past 30 mins and I needed to vent | ADHD |
Hello! I have been STRUGGLING trying to get to therapy again, and haven’t seen my therapist since January.
I had been seeing my therapist once a month for a few years and it was going great. I took a small break, but I am doing awful and I think I need therapy once a week (depression, anxiety, ptsd, chronic pain). The problem is I’ve tried countless times to make an appointment, but she is booking 3 months out. The last two times were cancelled because she was sick and they double booked me with someone else.
I LOVE my therapist, she is seriously the perfect match for me, but I think everyone thinks the same and that’s why she’s so booked.
How often do you guys go to therapy, and if you need to meet it more frequently, are you able to with your therapist? I don’t want to start over and find someone else, but I think I already know the answer): | ptsd |
Personally, I am not a fan of working out just to work out. It's boring, and because it's boring, executive function to actually start it is at zero.
I used to be on my feet a lot at work, but not as much now. I was maintaining my weight before, between the activity and my eating habits. I've been trying to keep my meals/snacking in proportion to my new activity level, but ADHD brain's always gonna go for the dopamine.
So I've been trying to think of things I can do to keep me active that aren't just going to a regular gym, preferably cheap to free. My ideas so far have included rock climbing gym and maybe disc golf. Anyone have other suggestions? | ADHD |
A critic, insult, mocking I cannot ignore it.
It annoys me greatly because they ignore me easily and I cannot find the cause of their behaviors.
Even sometimes I say jerk stuff they ignore me but others doing similar shit has results.
Have I less value than the mean persons I mentioned above ? Human interactions are common in asperger but despite this fact it's mentally exhausting and now I am a depressive misanthropist...
To return to the core of the topic, it ruins my happiness when a thousands of people in 31 yo ignored me.
Good or bad attitude, people tend to ignore me.
I don't dare to ask them directly why because I feel misérable.
"why did you ignore me when..."
I don't know if people experienced the same shit but your welcome to talk ! | aspergers |
hey this doesnt really have to do with my adhd ..i mean it kinda does. but lately this past few weeks ive just been feeling really stupid and worthless. i keep getting into arguments w my bf this week and its been causing my emotions to go off really badly and i feel like hes stupid for even liking me and dealing with me. and im still learning on controlling my emotions but ya know, its easier said than done. and my body has been looking really out of shape and my face is really ugly, i think im like the ugliest person i know in this world. and how the hell am i a 21 year old woman who still doesnt know how to put on makeup? and its hard to stay disciplined to workout and eat healthy bc all i do is binge on whatever is around me and my parents hardly cook dinner anymore so im always eating out and it leads to me having like $.89 in my account all the time and having to wait before my biweekly pay hits. im always late to my job and classes, i can never get myself to study for my exams, i feel like im boring and i can tell when i bore everyone around me whenever i talk so why even bother talking. my parents are always out and still friends w my childhood molestor and they know what he did to me but i dont even rhink they care anymore since its been “such a long time since he did it”. my psychologist and i already know that i have adhd but ive been looking for a good psychiatrist for over a year now and my GP doesnt help me try to find any providers that can help w my adhd since apparently “hes not able to prescribe me medication” why even bother exisiting sometimes? i think im just having a really shitty week and im just having a hard time dealing with it. i feel like this is the only space where i can safely and anonymously express how i feel. | ADHD |
So my wife was diagnosed with PTSD, it's been hard and I don't know what 9 can do to help, she doesn't want to talk to me about it and shuts me down wich I heard is normal for some one with PTSD to do, but I also want to help her and I need help on knowing what to do | ptsd |
Hordes of Books lying to be read, cobwebs on the walls, cluttered shelves, email inbox, constant battle at work - somehow keeping the job intact by doing bare minimum, feelings of regret, occasional spurts of motivation, lots and lots of planning, scribbling ideas and waiting for an exit option, years and years of staying in same place, same work (even though hating it), drinking alcohol to numb down from time to time, fleeting relationships, running away from commitments, disarisffaction with work, personal life, physiqe, ocassional joy during a short trip, a small chat with a friend over phone etc - All these are symptoms of what?
ADHD/Depression? Anyone else reltating to these? How to overcome? | ADHD |
i get so paranoid over eating that i just refuse to eat to a point where i feel sick im so afraid of eating something bad even wgen the food is fine what do i do im in dire need of help | OCD |
The other day I was talking to someone about how some autistic people prefer interactions with pets over interactions with humans.
And that person commented that it's probably that animals have fewer and simpler emotions and are easier for us to process. I found that a bit offensive, and to be honest I rarely get that "full of love and affection" feeling from or towards any humans. But I just couldn't get this out of my head and kept wondering whether that person's statement was actually true. | aspergers |
So I’ve always been attracted to women. But now that I’m dealing with POCD if I find a girl attractive that’s like over 20 I say in my head “that’s to old for you”. I know this is complete BS because I NEVER thought of this before. But it’s so weird and is scary because it makes POCD feel that much more real. Has anyone else had this? | OCD |
Its been a down hill run for me since I bought the business I now own. Depression and anxiety hit really hard and spiraled me out of control. I got on lexapro and it helped emotionally, but it wasn't enough to combat years of shit behavior. Being a depressed slug has left me aimless and unmotivated
The people I work for have decided to go in house and hire their own people, thus making my business redundant. So, of course i am not doing well on that front, but its helped shine a light on the fact that I've lived a privileged ADHD life the past couple of years with being my own boss and making my own schedule. I now realize I need help getting my shit together if I'm gonna work a real job with real responsibilities.
Enter adderall (5mg)a month ago. I finally said fuck it and got the script after 20 or so years of being off it and thinking I could handle the adhd myself. Before buying the business, i was an unsuccessful novelist. I wrote 7 novels, but neglected to market them, so they didn't generate any kind of success. So, before the anxiety and depression, I was doing better. I had some control over my drive and motivation. These days though, not so much.
On the adderall, i feel like doing stuff again. Like writing, doing art, and just being creative. I have energy to do the things I want, or need to. Its like a dose of will power I've been desperately missing. I know adhd people have dependence issues. Trust me, I've struggled with them. But its hard not to feel like this is the right step. I've got an appointment for CBT to help me make better use of my time and such.
Now, onto the problem. My Gf doesn't like my personality on the meds. It makes me quiet and spacey. In my head more often. But, if you give me a task, I'll do it without complaint. Its easier to find and complete tasks. Which is something I've been missing for a while.
Its hard to decide which is more important right now. Her feelings, or my need for the meds. I have such a huge life change ahead of me that I'm scared the ADHD will cripple me going forward. But I don't want to alienate her in the process.
TL:DR: Gf doesn't like me on my new script of adderall, but with big life changes coming, i feel its an important and necessary step for our future
Anyone else deal with this? | ADHD |
First post on here. I've suffered with OCD and related anxiety for as long as I can remember.
For the past 5 years I've been taking mirtazapine at varying dosages. The drug itself is a miracle for my OCD, but its led to some significant weight gain and elevated liver enzymes. I've tried to alter the dose and lose weight but it is virtually impossible for me to control my appetite on this medication.
So I've taken it upon myself to come off it (I've tried SSRI'S before and hate them so they aren't an option) .
Has anyone had success in coming off this medication and if so how did you deal with the insomnia and/or other withdrawral effects?
A long taper isn't really appropriate as I need to lose weight relatively quickly for health reasons. | OCD |
Hey, I have ADHD and I've been under medication for 8 years now.
No matter what I do I can't get up early in the morning. I can't even wake up before 12 p.m. and because I wake up late I get super stressed and can't do shit for the rest of the day. Not to mention that I can't fall asleep easily as well. If I wake up before 12 I'll feel super tired for the rest of the day and have no energy.
I always feel like I'm behind my schedule bc I wake up late and it makes me feel like a loser which in consequence makes me lose my motivation.
Any suggestions? | ADHD |
I dont know how to cope
I am dating a OCD neat freak man who wipes every glass clean with no spots whatsoever and wipes every dish down w a paper towel, every tiny crevice of the pot had to be spic and span. When i do it, he has to re do it and it takes him forever. Feels like 5 mins to wipe one dish or pot. He is so picky that i dont even wash the dishes anymore.
He inspects every surface and looks for a speck of dust up close to ensure there is no dust. He folds laundry a certain way and it had to he folded perfectly. Its really hard bc i feel like everything has to be done so perfectly
Is that normal or am i just a really dirty messy person?
I feel like that compared to him | OCD |
It happened last summer when I was already aware I fucked up, but then the exposing account was deleted after a day. I'm really scared it'll happen again, given that school is almost over and people are having more free time. I know there will always be non-believers who will never forgive me for what I've done, which is what makes me so nervous but I can only move on from it and stay strong. A few people I've talked to say overthinking just hinders my growth process, while others still judge me when I tell them I am working on it. I've talked to the same people multiple times about this fear and they tell me not to worry because ruining my life is no one's goal (I'm about to enter university, so I'm even more scared despite already explaining it to them). There are definitely still ex-friends holding grudges out there, or classmates that don't know the full story and want to start a barrage of hate towards me. There's really nothing much I can do about this except keep doing my thing by unlearning biases. | OCD |
Hi,
Recently started ERP treatment and have Been monitoring my obsessions and compulsions for a week now. And started developing exposures.
I feel just doing this alone has helped a lot. I’ve become so much more self aware. Before I would just check the stove to check it because I needed to. Now I know I’m scared of the fire, injury, etc. and now I realize I really am just checking the stove to make sure it is off. To make sure it is off I really don’t need to be putting my hand over the burners, making sure the knobs align, etc. in reality, in order to know the stove is off, all I need to do is look at the light and if it is off, then the stove is off.
Already I’ve become much more self aware and my checking time has already decreased. Has anyone experienced this? | OCD |
Maybe. Recently she’s been drinking a lot and has been a little distant. She said that she doesn’t really want to go any where or do anything. Then a couple days ago she said that she prefers drinking to take a medicine that she had been prescribed months ago. This was the first time I had ever heard about this medication and she only talked about it because she was blackout drunk. I think that she has depression, but she would never talk to me about it. How can I support her? Is there anything I can do? | depression |
finally got medicated - its my second day on adderall xr 10mg. i haven’t noticed anything at all besides maybe a bit of placebo from me really hoping it’d work. i ate normal and even napped midday both days. i don’t see my psychiatrist until the 25th, should i keep taking these even though they’re not doing anything or stop? or ask if i should take 2 instead of 1? | ADHD |
Hey all, so I've recently been diagnosed with adhd and currently on medication, and one of the things my therapist suggested is having a daily routine. the issue is I am a uni student and I find it hard to stick to a routine, I make a daily schedule then never stick to it. I find it difficult to commit to things
how do like structure your daily schedule and actually stick to it?
What does a healthy routine look like?
What is something you include in your schedule that helps you a lot ? | ADHD |
I've even tried online gaming groups, but there's not even an opportunity to have a witty comeback to a troll to crack myself up, because every game that I've tried that has a chat feature built in has been radio silence 99% of the time. There isn't a particular time of day I can play any online game where there's any greater likelihood of finding someone.
I only turned to online interactions when I came up short everywhere I tried to go. Never once have I learned a social skill by any means, even learning the hard way what not to do, where I could use it with anyone again in the short or long term.
Every time I meet someone that is in a good mood, they're always the only one there, with no plans to return and they're not in a group where they've met others like themselves. | depression |
I don't think I even have the right to feel this lonely. I have a partner and a few good friends, and they're honestly the only reasons I have to live. Lately we've not been able to hang out as frequently, so life has felt much emptier than it usually does.
I've been trying to engage in old hobbies, but they haven't helped me want to live. My antidepressants have finally made me able to sleep, but they've also given me hallucinations and made my nightmares worse, so I'll hopefully be taken off them.
I'm unemployed and have a drinking problem, which the people around me have tried to help with, but they can't do much to stop me. Nearly every time I get drunk I lose hours of memories, and it's so embarrassing and hurts those around me, but it's still not enough to make me want to stop. Alcohol is pretty much the only distraction I have from how bored and lonely I feel, so why would I stop drinking? The alcohol treatment program I was under discharged me because I wasn't engaging with them.
I just don't see the point in putting effort in when life is so fucking painful all the time. I don't want to feel anything, I just want to pass time as fast as I can until I'm dead, whether by spending time with my loved ones or by using substances. | depression |
So I just found this subreddit and decided to join because I was very recently diagnosed with ocd. I started seeing a new psychiatrist and I was explaining my psychotic episodes that occur a couple of times a year to her. For more context on these episodes they involve intense delusions that I’m being followed or “hunted down” by someone. My previous psychologist confirmed to me that these episodes are psychosis. My new psychiatrist diagnosed me with ocd without telling me and I only figured out about this diagnosis from my doctor a few days ago. I was just wondering if anyone else with ocd experiences episodes like this and if it’s even related to ocd? | OCD |
Stop prolonging human suffering. Antinatalism or bust. Fuck my life, I hate my life. I didn't fucking ask to be born and am too scared to commit suicide (though I absolutely fucking would if I could) so I'm stuck in a fucking state of purgatory for my whole life. I did NOT fucking consent to being born, fuck my piece of shit parents for creating me against my will, and fuck all parents for doing the same to us all. | depression |
I'm a very open person who trusts people way too easily. A lot of times I wish I can shut up and not share my feelings with the people around me. I envy those who can keep their guard up.
Whenever I am feeling depressed, I can't just sob alone in my room. I need comfort and support from the people I love. I want my mom to shower me with hugs and tell me it'll all be alright. I want my dad to say "I'm here for you," instead of advice like "you should try yoga" or "just think happy thoughts."
I always go to them, even though I know they'll only make me feel worse. I've told them what triggers my depressive episodes, how they can help, what I'm comfortable and uncomfortable with, etc. They are aware that I was literally on the verge of ending my own life a few months ago. They know that my antidepressants are the reason why I'm alive today. They understand that I completely lose myself when I don't take my meds. I go to them EVERY SINGLE TIME, and I don't know why I keep doing that. I hate myself for being vulnerable with my parents. Because despite knowing all the details about my mental health, they still choose to place me in triggering, uncomfortable situations.
How do I stop running to them when I'm having a mental health crisis? | depression |
[Here's last week's Solitude Project Saturday
](https://old.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/ldyul3/solitude_project_saturday_what_projects_are_you/)
**So, /r/aspergers, what projects do you have on the go right now? Any ideas on the backburner for one reason or another? Any ideas just in the planning phase?** Even if you are working on them with someone else, they still apply here. If you can mention the interest that you have that relates to the project, that would be great; it may help others. | aspergers |
My thoughts and feelings don't matter. I always get invalidated. My feelings are always dismissed. They minimize my feelings they say things like 'that's part of life grow up'. It makes me feel like my feelings are wrong. Nobody cares. They just pretend they do then they leave when I make myself vulnerale. They have no reason to stay. Friend knew I have a fear of abandonment. They left at my worst. They always hurt me. They tell I could tell them anything but when I'm talking to them they don't even listen. Worse is I get called names which makes me feel like I'm faking my illness and I'm just being dramatic. I guess I deserve these things because I'm such a shitty person. No matter what people say I still don't fucking matter. | depression |
Like a flower. I've been slowly dying . Waiting for the day to be plucked , cut off . Inside my chest feels dark and empty . Cold . Baron . Lifeless . No air . Trapped. Trapped with myself . You know , I get why people don't interact with my posts. Because I sound fucking insane . I deserve to die | depression |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.