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I was diagnosed with Asperger's about five years ago, and I am gay. Just wondering if there is a group for Asperger's ∩ LGBTQ+. I feel a bit of an outsider and would love to find some more people like me! | aspergers |
my (25f) boyfriend (26m) has OCD lately its been very bad, neither of us had money to get it treated he doesnt have insurance and i dont either. We’ve lived together for three years and lately he been wanting me to practice the same OCD rituals when doing things in the house. For example: i clean the house about 3-5 times a week now. I wfh and hes out and i just have the time. But, now when i get his clothes if they touch the door or wall hr says they are dirty if i fix the blinds and then grab trash off the table (that he may have left there) he says now i have to clean the entire table and all the things on it one by one. If i go to the bathroom i wash my hands before leaving (like anyone should) but after i turn the knob and leave the room he says i now have to wash my hands again. Before i could work around them, ya know, he was very clean and particular and i was the one who turned off the faucet or opened the door for him or grabbed his clothes. But lately he yells at me if i don’t do things the way he does. I’m at my wits end and I don’t want to invalidate him by making him feel like its ridiculous to feel that way but I can’t clean every item on the table anytime my hip bumps it while i carry dishes. Hes had me do it before and screams at me if i don’t | OCD |
I was diagnosed with ADHD and was put on originally 25.9mg of methylphenidate ER (Cotempla XR ODT). The first day I was told to take half. Did just that and fell asleep for 4-5 hours lol. It slowed me wayyy down and has help immensely. Fast forward to now around 4-6 months later (idk i have a hard time keeping track of time) i finally moved all the way up to takjng the whole ODT and to help with the beginning of the day i take 10mg of dexmethylphenidate IR (Focalin) and after the Cotempla starts to wear off I take another 10mg dexmethylphenidate. I always hear that the euphoric effects should wear off after a couple weeks. This hasn't happened with me and I still get it everytime both head euphoria and body euphoria. Not complaining but it is weird to see others say it wears off when mine hasn't. | ADHD |
Some of the symptoms of ADHD would certainly explain a lot about me, but the only thing I'm unsure of is that I can't relate too well to others on here when it comes to forgetfulness. I'm usually always on time to appointments and stuff and I think I'm okay at remembering where I placed things. What do you guys think? | ADHD |
This is going to be a long post, but I'm really in need of support and I'd appreciate everyone reading through it. I wish the news was better but if anything things have gotten worse in the past few weeks.
Here's my original post:
>Aside from my parents, grandmother, and coworkers at my new job, I have had no social contact of any kind for weeks now. I'm 25 and in the last few years, even before the pandemic, my ability to be social and spend time with my friends has absolutely plummeted.
>
>I have a few friends, but I only see one of them with any regularity. I used to see this one guy about once every 1-2 weeks, but for about the past year now I've been seeing him more like once every 4-6 weeks. The friend who I see the second-most, I see about once every 6-8 weeks. Then there are a few others who I see maybe once or twice a year on average. I spend like 99.9999% of my time alone.
>
>As people get older everyone is expected to sacrifice time with friends, dating, and even just hobbies, to focus on work and the nuclear family. And if you don't have a spouse and kids, then have fun spending your entire life alone and miserable.
>
>I'm close to giving up on the idea of ever having a girlfriend. Apart from making one platonic online friend, dating apps have not worked out well at all for me and I have no chance at all of meeting anyone through any of my friends. There isn't even much in the way of clubs or hobby groups anywhere near where I live, and honestly my new job is so exhausting that I don't really have time or energy for volunteering. I [feel like I'm not that attractive](https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/l2at3v/im_male_and_i_feel_really_bad_about_my_body/), and I'm only working a part time job which is already overwhelming, and I don't feel like I could handle many more hours than I already have, so I'll probably seem like a lazy deadbeat to anyone I do meet.
>
>A nd since all my friends are buried in their own professional lives, I guess I just need to get used to a lonely life. The friend who I see the most is working probably 60 hours a week. The friend who I see the second most is buried in her work as well. Out of the other friends who I see rarely, one is taking teacher's college and totally overwhelmed with it, and two more just live way too far away for me to see them more often than I do. I love my friends but I'm just hardly ever able to see them anymore, and I feel like the problem is just going to get worse as they graduate school, advance in their careers and start families. And just to top things off, my coworkers are all very professional and it would probably wouldn't be appropriate to ask to spend time with them outside of work.
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>I feel like I'll always be lonely and there is just no way out of it. It's just how the modern world is designed to work.
When I posted here earlier, I mostly got advice to try to move on and make new connections through hobby groups, volunteer opportunities, etc.
The problem is there really isn't any of that in my area. I live in pretty much the ultimate suburban town, which is like 90% houses and the rest of it is just basic malls and office buildings. I've looked around on websites like meetup and found next to nothing in my area. The only meetups that I could find were things like retiree's clubs and bingo nights. I saw a link to a group of people closer to my age who do things like pool, bowling etc. but when I went to their Facebook page it says that the group has been closed down permanently since last fall.
The closest thing that I'd be interested in joining is an astronomy club, but it's 45 minutes to an hour away by car, and I don't drive. I can't afford to take Ubers regularly, and since the club is held in a pretty remote rural building, there's no public transit that goes anywhere near it. Even if there was, it would take hours to get there by bus. Like I said, there's nothing else that's closer.
To make matters worse, now that I'm settling in to my new job they're really ramping up the number of hours I'm working. While I feel like my job experience is definitely a net positive, one issue that I do have is that the schedule is really erratic and doesn't seem to follow any rhyme or reason. That, coupled with working more hours, has both messed with my sleep schedule and left me really overwhelmed and exhausted with pretty much no energy for anything. I feel like my life is pretty much being reduced to "work, eat, sleep, repeat."
Like I mentioned before, my coworkers are nice enough, but they're very professional and I don't think it's appropriate to ask to spend time with them outside of work. Furthermore, since it's a mostly female work force, I'm assuming any time they spend together outside of work would be strictly girl's nights (the only other male in the store is the assistant manager and he's not exactly approachable). Also, most of my coworkers spend their breaks talking about things like fashion and stuff which leaves me with absolutely nothing to bring to the conversation. I haven't been at the job long and I've already gotten a reputation as the shy quiet guy. The thing is I would like to talk to people, but I just don't have anything to contribute when they're talking about clothes and hair dye and things like that.
I really don't see any solution to this at all. Like I said in my last post I feel like I'm just meant to be lonely forever because that's just how the modern world works, and I just need to get used to it. | aspergers |
Tldr: Generally bored of life, everything I used to do suddenly feels uninteresting.
​
About a couple years ago. I realized that for some reason I felt like I wasn't living life to it's fullest. I couldn't put a finger on it, it felt like everything I did slowly got more and more boring or I wanted more from my own life. At first I thought it was something to do with just not having anything that made me feel thrilled. And I thought maybe if I got some kind of adrenaline kick it would make me feel something again. So I went to an amusement park which was the most thrilling thing I could enjoy with relative safety. (Despite my fear of them.) And it didn't do much. I thought maybe it was burnout, so I took a vacation with friends. Did nothing.
Very few things make me feel happy. I used to play games very frequently, Nowadays I have a giant unfinished library of games to play, and I might finish two or three in a year. Nowadays I can't even get through a game that feels genuinely interesting to me. I used to draw for hours and hours at a time, and now I can barely do 15 minutes a day. I used to watch a lot of shows but now it's all kinda of boring. I just feel like I can't be excited about things. I used to spend time studying a variety of things and working on projects but I can't find that passion that kept me motivated anymore. Hanging out with friends are pleasurable, but it's not exciting. At one point I really enjoyed sex, but even that I'm kind of bored of and not even excited for.
While I'm not in any kind of danger to anyone or myself. I'm just a bit surprised since I see peers always excited about something. And I can't seem to be able to get excited for anything. I searched up on google, Bored with life and it gave me a suicide hotline number. So I'm here trying to see if this is possible a form of depression and maybe I should go see a psychiatrist about it. (It might be ADHD since I was diagnosed with it in the past, but it makes no sense for it to just randomly make me feel tired of everything.) | depression |
So, recently I’ve been obsessing over the potential that the lancet used in at-home HIV tests could have been contaminated with HIV and by giving myself an HIV test I could be infecting myself with HIV. I even worry about lancets bought from other vendors (for things like checking blood sugar) could be infected with HIV.
How can I move past this? | OCD |
Hi, I am a 20 year old woman and I am reaching out to see if what I’m describing really is OCD or something I’m just thinking up in my mind. Sorry for formatting on mobile.
I have been diagnosed with ADHD, and I am being medicated for bipolar 2 (without a formal diagnosis). However, part of me is wondering if the bipolar 2 is either incorrect or not the whole picture. Ever since I did a 6 week Outpatient program and after about a year of therapy, my mood swings, impulsivity, and depressive episodes have all but gone away. However, the intense anxiety/compulsions have not.
The main one is an obsession with skin and hair care. If there is a hair out of place or too long, or if the texture is wrong I have to pull it out or trim it. If I have a zit/bump on my skin I have to squeeze it or scratch it smooth, even though I know this is counterproductive. This must be done before i can focus on anything else. When I get stressed due to everyday life (school, relationships) it gets harder to focus on the task at hand and not at picking/pulling. During finals week, I (warning this is gross) plucked out all of my pubic hair in one go. It was painful, but I couldn’t stop. When I was younger, before my SAT, I had eczema and I peeled off the scaley skin and blisters until my hands bled and I had to take the test in gauze.
It’s not just this, it’s also measuring my food to the gram (although I am better at fighting this one) and monitoring my heart rate at all times (I have a _mild_ heart problem). Certain habits and ticks of others make me irrationally angry. Certain textures make me nauseous. All of my electronic files must be read and meticulous. I check my bank account against my excel sheet daily. If my boyfriend and I do not even our day with a certain exchange I fear he hates me. In fact I’m often terrified he hates me oftentimes for no real reason.
I _think_ this sounds like OCD. Not doing these things makes it hard to concentrate and me feel nauseous and angry. However I’m still a messy person (my room is a dumpster fire) and I find sticking to time routines difficult. I feel like I’m too quick to diagnose myself with anything as a method of coping. I’ll latch on to whatever sounds right and then obsess over it for a short bit and then jump to the next thing.
I want to bring this up with my therapist but I’m anxious about calling it “OCD” and worried she’ll think I’m being overdramatic.
Am i? Any thoughts? | OCD |
I can't even bring myself to wash my clothes or anything, I moved about 3 months ago and I still haven't even managed to make this place feel like home there's just stuff everywhere. my partner doesn't help at all with any of the chores anymore and I feel it all piling on top of me. it makes me so suicidal as I feel like a useless woman who can't even do what's expexted of her plus I'm ugly and overweight with no job so I'm even more useless and undesirable because of those things. I just want to sleep my life away but even my bed sheets are dirty and need washing. kill me | depression |
I’m so fucking tired of this stupid life. I don’t want to be alone anymore but I know no one will ever truly love me and I’m always going to be the friend everyone forgets about. That’s how it’s been my whole life and that’s how it’s always going to be. All I’m ever going to be is an annoying asshole that no one likes. | depression |
Never been medicated for my ADHD before until this morning. I had an appt with my new psychiatrist and she recommended getting me started on Wellbutrin 150mg. She said it had minimal side effects and works well with most. I googled the medication to get a better understanding.
I have a history of depression and have been on antidepressants such as Zoloft and Lexipro but I’m not sure what to expect with this new medication.
Has anyone taken it as treatment for their ADHD? Anything anyone has experienced that wasn’t listed online? Tips? | ADHD |
Everyone says not to believe the demons in your head. The ones who say your friends hate you and you shouldn't bother them. The ones that say you're unworthy and push you to isolate from everything good. The ones that say the world would be better if I were dead. So I kept reaching out, even when everyone was pulling away, and I tried to rationalize that they had busy lives and that was valid. But at graduation they just dropped me for good, confirming all my worst fears. How am I supposed to continue fighting those voices? And if my doubts are there 100 percent of the time, how do I know when to believe them? I'm not even sad anymore. Just tired. | depression |
Almost all OCD talk and specialists I’ve encountered revile addressing the content of the thoughts. I understand that OCD is a “liar”, and the thoughts by some malformed operant conditioning are made worse by being paid attention to, sort of like a stray or a bully and so it reinforces a cycle.
My problem is, how does this extricate one from the issue of it’s something that’s so intrinsic to their being that they can’t simply not think about It?
Isn’t it necessary to work on a thought IN conjunction with ERP if it’s something that’s actually…possible? I mean no offense but, for example, some people have fears that are tangentially possible like getting COVID while others are afraid due to more superstitious or illogical thoughts, like if they don’t snap their fingers three times their family will get hit by a meteor. Why would the patient not be educated about COVID to try and ground that thought as it might work well in conjunction with ERP?
I have a very bad overvalued idea in regards to germs, and due to it being linked to trauma I find the ERP alone dangerous; it’s confusing to me….like if you have all these tools and you refuse to use anything but a hammer? Perhaps I think I need something I don’t but I’m curious why my opinion is so dismissed in it.
Example: ERP teaches you to not fear the situation, not that it doesn’t have danger. If I was afraid of being shot by a gun ERP would teach me to brazenly approach a gun ideally, but that would still be dangerous. To me that’s a paradox. Wouldn’t both be relevant? I know it’s extreme but hyperbole is necessary to get the idea across.
Sorry to be so winding, I’m just curious why ERP doesn’t seem to ever any part to address that, it’s so baffling to me (could be my OCD but still that’s why I’m asking). | OCD |
I think I'm finally recovering from my eating disorder??!! I started to challenge myself by eating more, and my bf has been encouraging me so I think it's working. but now I'm hungry all the fucking time?? idk why I am but I just am? | depression |
I’ve been checking the front door to make sure I locked it for the past 43 minutes. I was supposed to be asleep at 1 now it’s 1:43. When will the compulsions ever stop. | OCD |
Does anyone else experience doubt about their gender identity? I am male, was born male and pretty sure my mind is male (for want of a better way to put it). I'm not a stereotypically masculine man in fact quite the opposite in many ways, but I still see myself as male. However sometimes I doubt myself and think I might be trans. It's probably all in my head but it's quite overwhelming at times. | OCD |
i’ve never been diagnosed so this is highly possible. i had a lot of tendencies when i was younger and they somewhat went away to some extent until recently; once i got reddit and started reading through this sub and about ocd i began to develop these tendencies and even new ones that i read about. and now these tendencies are the worst only when i’m thinking about ocd and stuff, otherwise it’s very controllable and doesn’t bother me. it’s as if reading ocd related things triggers my own undiagnosed ocd which makes me constantly question whether or not i even have ocd or if i just “pretend” i do. i wanna get diagnosed so bad it would give me so much relief. if it makes it make more sense, on my profile you can find my other posts on here about my tendencies and why i think i have ocd idk whatever if you read this thank you i appreciate it | OCD |
Okay, this sounds a bit silly, but I always wear a cheap Casio watch, like, all the time. I've gone through about four of these, now, and everytime one goes out there's a couple day period before I get a new one where I just *can't* function. Nothing feels right, and that's been true for everytime before this time. This time, sure, it feels a little uncomfortable not wearing something that I only ever take off when I get in water, but I'm not acting any differently than I usually do, and I feel like this is a huge step for me!
(sorry if I didn't flair right) | OCD |
My 11 year old had no real friends. He just started middle school this year and says that new kids will talk to him, but he has no idea how to interact with them so they’ll eventually give up.
He is sorta friendly with a small handful of kids that he went to elementary school with since kindergarten, but not enough where they hang out after school.
I know it’s part of having ADHD. His doctor had him go to a speech therapist. I have no idea why, but he insisted, saying they’ve helped other adhd kids who struggle socially.
Other than that, I see no suggested treatments to help kids that struggle making friends.
My son went to an adhd camp this past summer which he said was the best week of his life since he was surrounded by boys his age who ‘get him’. But a week is not enough time to learn lasting social skills.
It keeps me up at night, worried how his life will end up since we only have each other and I’m an older mom.
How were things for all of you when you were younger? Did you struggle to make bonding friendships? Did you eventually figure it out or are you still alone? Any suggestions that I could do as his mother to help him? | ADHD |
Part of my dissertation has been reading into trauma-informed care, and every book I read this term crops up and ruins my day.
They use this term to describe people who've been fortunate and not suffered negative effects after trauma such as ptsd, anxiety disorders or disruption to their daily lives. I've got a few issues with it
1. These resilient people aren't necessarily extra strong, but they are lucky. Mostly they didn't have trauma in early childhood, they don't have problems with the limbic system, they didn't have pre existing mental health problems, they have good support networks such as family, they have stable and safe living and financial situations. Nobody chooses not to have these things. "resilience" is not a choice or a character strength. Sometimes these writings make it appear this way.
2. It makes people who have suffered ill effects feel weak, like the problem is with us - we are just not resilient. This is one whole heap of pure bullshit. PTSD sufferers ARE resilient. We battle every day with symptoms and carry on, we have survived not only the trauma but other disadvantages in recovery such as unstable living circumstances, lack of family support, history of neglect or attachment problems... These phrases were coined by people who clearly have no fucking idea how resilient you have to be to survive just a day in the life of someone with PTSD.
Its fucking insulting.
EVERY. Survivor. Of. Trauma. Is. Resilient.
The person who managed to carry on with their lives and stay happy
The person who battles every day just to get out of bed
The person who fights not to end their lives
The person who goes out despite knowing they will come across something that triggers them
The person who works like hell through therapy
The person who doesn't go to therapy but gets by in other ways
We are ALL resilient. We are just not all fortunate. Grrrrrrr. | ptsd |
Each day I log into my laptop in hopes that I'll find a reason to stay here. Call me naive but a part of me truly thinks there is someone out there like me and that is what keeps me going. People tell me the same thing over and over again, that nobody is going to save me and that I can only save myself which I agree with to an extent but if I'm stuck in the same old body, this mind, I feel like I will explode. I struggle to leave the house, to talk to anyone, to look at my reflection. I just want a break from it all. | ptsd |
My city's power went out 2 hours ago right, and the night looked so perfect that I came up to the roof top just to gaze a little lol
After the realization if what happened - And for about an hour, literally no inner voice. At all, just perfect quietness. Even the noise of a couple if cars passing by, was all filtered out. Then the second the light come back on, I noticed my inner.
On a side note, I'm mentioning it cause since I was a kid I've always preferred low light, or no lights in every setting possible makes me the most comfortable. | ADHD |
I'm working a minimum wage job, full time. And i NEED to finish my GED so i can start getting into phlebotomy (drawing blood and such.) I need a much better paying job. It's so hard to save up right now. But it's so hard to feel motivated to go back when test taking is so difficult. Any motivation or suggestions are much appreciated!♡ | ADHD |
i’m on 300mg wellbutrin and 10mg of focalin currently and I feel horrible rn. I feel almost out of my body and i feel sick and feel almost high. I have bad pressure behind my eyes (which could be the headache side effect). I’ve been on wellbutrin for a while and noticed this bad feeling when i started the focalin. Do these bad side effects go away?
my face is also getting red and hot which is weird | ADHD |
Hi friends,
I (24F) received my ADHD diagnosis a little under eight weeks ago. I've been working with my therapist and psychologist, started meds (gaining the ability to just... do things when I want to or should?? fuckin bananas) have been talking to friends about it, doing all the Good Processing Things. And one thing I've noticed that's been so deeply emotional for me is grieving the fact that I and my symptoms were so looked over, by everyone.
Y'all, the specialist I worked with concluded that I was in the 99th percentile as a child, and as an adult, I'm in the 98th percentile overall. I have The Most ADHD. I've been thinking a lot about all the ways I felt as a kid, and how much I *wished* I could figure out the secret key to success it seemed like everyone else had.
I feel so sad for the little girl that I was, who just didn't understand why she felt different, who wasn't *supposed* to figure it out (my therapist said to me "well, of course you couldn't figure it out. You didn't have a Ph.D. in psychology, you were an elementary schooler"). I feel sad for the ambitions I had in high school, to study history and anthropology, and giving up on it because I couldn't make myself do my APUSH readings. I feel sad for all the curiosity I forced myself to leave behind, for all the days I thought I was too lazy, for all the days I fell asleep in class because I couldn't tune in. For telling myself I was stupid for not being able to study or pass tests when I was acing projects and essays. I feel sad for the friendships that were hurt because I was late, couldn't focus, forgot to text back. Feeling unseen by my parents, teachers, and peers, and never understanding *why.* I feel sad for that very specific and frequent feeling of being *too much–* too excited, too chatty, too loud. That look someone older would have when they didn't quite know what to do with me.
I wish things had been different for me. As a child, I was shy, curious, excited, emotional. And I always felt like it all came out sideways, and I wish that someone had told me it was okay, that there wasn't anything inherently wrong with me– just a brain that needed a little extra support. And at the same time, I know that I have created this beautiful life I love, full of brilliant experiences that I wouldn't trade for anything, which I would not have found had I followed a different path. I feel such a heavy loss, and also hope at understanding myself in a new way.
Edit: I'm overwhelmed by how many of you relate, and by all the kind words. All I can say is thank you, and it is so beautiful to know that none of us are alone in this | ADHD |
So I’m all for people being safe and such, but I’m fucking dying inside working remote for 2yrs straight. My actuarial peers all act like they all drew one big “bank error in your favor” card by being able to work remote, and I feel like I’m all alone.
My dopamine kick is other people. I have always been super highly functional in social settings, but hours will slip by in an ADHD fog without others around.
In school I could ace tests and participate in class but could never get my homework done.
I tried running my own business until I realized I just couldn’t get the solo back office stuff done when I wasn’t with clients.
Now I went back into an office environment… only to have to work remote. Just because I’m collecting a paycheck doesn’t mean I can stay focused at home any better than I could before. My wife (teacher) gets home at 4 and I feel like someone finally turned the lights on in my brain and I’m ashamed of how much time slipped by uselessly the rest of the day.
Fuck.
Anyway, thank you to whoever read this far. Any advice or suggestions welcome, but I just really needed somewhere to vent a bit. | ADHD |
Hey all!
For some background, I am a 31 year old female who has up until now not had an ADHD diagnosis, or really thought much about it. I have always had difficulty accomplishing tasks in a timely manner at work and school, but just thought I was a procrastinator. It wasn't until this year when I started doing research for some clients, I'm a dietitian, that it clicked it could be ADHD. I brought it up to my therapist, and she went through the DSM criteria with me. I pretty strongly identified with the inattentive diagnosis, so she recommended I speak with a psychiatrist. I'm on medicaid, so my options were pretty limited. I finally spoke with someone who took almost NO mental health history, and didn't ask me any questions about specifics. She had me take two computer tests (Connors I believe), and when the results came back negative she brushed it off and said it was likely just anxiety. My therapist recommended I get a second opinion and talk to someone who will actually spend time talking with me. I'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience, or has some advice on finding a good psychiatrist. Thanks!! | ADHD |
Is it possible for someone to be hyposensitive to some kind of stimulation such as certain noises/volumes as a child, but become hypersensitive to the same things as an adult?
I'm curious because I feel like as a kid I was very unaware of a lot of loud noises and I could just generally block a lot out.
But now it feels like I have a lot of auditory issues mostly things such as a lot of specific noises bothering me, and I feel like I hear everything and can't block it out. I also have a tendency to talk way too quietly and I'm constantly asked to speak up, but I usually feel like I'm yelling.
I'm not sure if this could be explained by Autism, or if potentially something is wrong that I should bring up with my doctor. | aspergers |
Does anyone obsess about time? I know it sounds strange but I obsess everyday about the time. If I have something like an appointment at 6pm, I spend the entire day obsessing about that appointment. I think about how I want time to go faster and it's borderline torture. I'm not really sure how to cope with it. I just obsess about anticipation of events. | OCD |
I want to stop, I want to stop thinking about every outcome of the story, I want to stop thinking about not living anymore, I want to stop it all...
I want to be in control of my own mind... and every time that I try to regain control... I hurt myself more.
I want it all to stop, I want to stop lying, I want to make it all stop.. I want to stop walking alone, I want to stop avoiding society... And every time and that happens and everything stop... I wake up.
I... want to stop thinking about it all... please.
I hate the prison that my mind has built for myself... | depression |
Little back story: two months ago my younger brother committed suicide (he suffered from schizoaffective disorder), and then two weeks after that date I was got married.
Since my brother died I’ve not only spiraled into a dark depression, but have been dealing with new intrusive, sometimes violent thoughts and compulsions. These honestly scare the living crap out of me.
I talked to my dr and he’s switching me from Lexapro to Zoloft, and I’m continuing to take Abilify. I’ve taken Lexapro for 10 years due to depression and anxiety disorder. I’m really hoping Zoloft helps, but it’s only been two days of me taking it.
My doc said intrusive thoughts were pretty common.
I don’t know why I’m posting, probably for some kind of validation of “you’re not THAT crazy,” but sometimes I feel like I want to bash peoples skulls in (and I am not a violent person). I hate having these violent images in my head. They keep me up. And I feel like I can’t trust myself to even be around my husband some of the time. I don’t know. I don’t feel normal. | OCD |
I have my to do list on my phone and sometimes I get overwhelmed with my reminders. Like getting rid of them. Even fun things like I’m thinking about getting a tattoo, and when I think about it it causes me to spiral and obsess over narrowing my options down over and over. I think it boils down to worrying about money maybe? I feel like I’m spending too much or something but some things I need to spend on… like school and car money etc. any tips?
Should I talk to my medication person? When I get like this I feel trapped like I can’t do anything and it makes me want to scream. | OCD |
I literally take care of myself all the time, I absolutely love fashion and Im sick with it, I consider myself a good person and yet I have bare minimum friends that make fun of me and are idiots | depression |
I’ve been dealing with OCD related symptoms but was dismissed by a previous therapist as just anxiety worsened by the pandemic, my crappy job, and controlling family members. The triggers are revolves around relationships and hoarding money.
I did not think my symptoms were truly OCD until I came across a sub on ROCD as well as money hoarding and a lot of these things seem to add up. I won’t know until my first NOCD appointment tomorrow.
I am excited but I’m truthfully afraid that the meeting would reveal things I don’t want to hear. Like “maybe you should just leave your partner” or “maybe you’re just having bad anxiety.” I am sick of doing talk therapy and am ready to try something else for the sake of my life and my relationship. Right now I barely have the drive to do anything and it’s debilitating. I never thought it would get this bad. But I’m glad I’m making the effort. Wish me luck! | OCD |
I've wanted a lock for as long as I can remember. For years I've been pushing heavy guitar and bass amps against the door to try and keep people/pets out. Even if nobody else is home I'm always paranoid someone could come in.
A few days ago I installed a lock, every time I use it I feel comforted. I know for SURE nobody can come in. Even just looking at it from across the room feels good. It makes this space feel so much more like Mine, I feel way more in control of it.
Also, idea for anyone who can't install a lock: check out portable locks online. There's some you can put into any door easily without having to screw anything in, and requires no tools. | ptsd |
I’ve been dating my long-distance boyfriend for almost 7 months now. We’ve had our ups and downs but we’ve managed to get through them. One reoccurring obsessive thought of mine has been eating away at me for the past month though. I worry that in the past I might’ve accidentally flirted with guys. My fear is that just because I find a guy attractive and I’m in a situation that I HAVE to talk to them (or I’m just making conversation to be nice) that I’m automatically flirting just because I find that guy attractive.
I keep going over interactions I’ve had with guys ever since I met my boyfriend to see if I might’ve flirted with anybody. It’s gotten to the point where half the notes on my phone are names of guys I’ve met and everything I can possibly remember involving them.
I’m scared of interacting with guys at this point in fear that I’ll flirt with them by accident and cheat on my boyfriend. | OCD |
So at age 32, I have had trouble dealing with my thoughts andI have sensory issues due to autism, but I never have outbursts in public, and I have no problem holding down a job and budgeting my money. But I do think a lot about the people who wronged me in the past. I have thoughts about punching my dad in the face for bringing toxic people into his home during my late childhood and negative thoughts about killing people that are happier than me because of my occasional bitterness. I never talk to anyone about these thoughts because they're too scary and negative. I also use weed and porn to block out negative thoughts to make myself feel good, but I get rid of my ability to think of things I would like to do. Am I really damaged with PTSD? I have never had an official diagnosis and I don't have insurance and been struggling to find a sliding scale therapist to get help for my problems. | ptsd |
Alright so there’s two things I struggle with that I believe must be adhd related but I’ve never thought to share them with other people before and I’d love to know if other people struggle with these things as well:
1. I always so badly want to go to huge events like concerts or sporting events with my friends because I don’t want to miss out on the experience, but as soon as I’m there it’s nearly too overwhelming to even be able to focus on what we’re actually there for? Like when I go to a stadium to watch a game I somehow leave feeling like I literally never experienced the game at all I was just there? And I usually have to have a few beers to just chill out and not feel on edge despite so badly wanting to enjoy the experience like everyone else.
2. I know adhd often feels like our minds are racing around 10000 times per second, but often times when I have to force myself to sit down and focus on schoolwork it tends feels like I can’t get my mind to move nearly as fast as it needs to? Like it literally feels like I’m on some sort of time lag in comparison to everyone else and reading through/comprehending material sometimes takes an unbearably long amount of time. Like it feels like my mind just cannot process information nearly as fast as I need it to. Do other people experience this?? | ADHD |
So about two weeks ago I decided to cut down my caffeine intake and I switched from 4 cups to 2 a day and only in the mornings. I had two weeks of 8 hours of sleep without any nightmares, but last night the weather was so hot I woke up sweating at around 1AM and couldn't go back to bed, so for \*some reason\* I decided it was a good idea to drink coffee and just pull an all nighter.
I ended up falling back asleep at 4 am because I only had a couple sips of coffee and it was awful. My head went through every single one of my traumas, some of them had a fantastic twist like every nightmare but they still felt very real. I woke up and tried not to fall asleep because I didn't want to go through those images again but I fell again and this time it didn't feel like a nightmare, it feel more like a flashback, it felt like I was re-living a situation that's haunted me my entire life.
The point is, is there a known relation between PTSD and caffeine??? has someone else experienced this? I know I could just google it and I will but I'd like to hear from you too. And the biggest issue is that I also struggle with type 2 bipolar disorder so I've sort of developed a dependency on coffee because I can get really unproductive when I'm going through a depressive episode.
Thank you for reading! | ptsd |
My mum has made many comments about me being autistic and my sister called me a spaz yesterday.
But when I ask if I should get tested for autism or if they think I have autism they tell me no and that it’s just jokes. It’s so fucking annoying and confusing. I can’t stand it.
Anyone have a similar situation to this? How do you deal with it?
*/S is a tone indicator meaning what is written is to be read as sarcastic* | aspergers |
I just gotta suck it up,
I just gotta live with the pain and suck it up,
I just gotta be alive and suck it up,
I just gotta suffer and suck it up,
dying is pathetic I just gotta suck it up,
I will live in this pain and i just gotta suck it up,
this is life I just gotta suck it up,
I just gotta allow this agonising torture and just suck it up,
I'm a failure I just gotta suck it up,
I'm a disappointment I just gotta suck it up
I am nothing but I just gotta suck it up | depression |
Feeing really down and need someone to talk to about my relationship. How do you know when a relationship is good and healthy and when it’s bad for the both of you? I’m not happy anymore but I don’t know if I should end things or not bc I never think clearly anyways. | depression |
But in the end people only see the outside of it and you come off as weak to them. Nobody sees the war we fight in the mind, we get no credit for the extra work we have to do just dismissal for how little that comes out | aspergers |
Shit like `#MenAreGrossBecause`, `#KillAllMen` trending will be the death of me one day. I swear, most human beings are incapable of giving any ounce of care even if they always beg for it...
Especially because everyone will reduce your pain and suffering to 0, because men can't suffer apparently. | depression |
I´ve often seen people here talk about how they struggle to go along with the plot, get annoyed at obvious plot holes, and misunderstanding the meanings of some of the words or actions of the characters. With me, it´s a bit different as I just fail to feel "excited" or "entertained" by films. There could be a very intense chasing scene going on where the protagonist is close to dying, but I, while seeing it, wonder about what I should have for dinner. I can understand when something tragic is going on on the screen, but I don´t feel sad. I can also understand the jokes people make, but I rarely laugh. Is finding films "boring" a common thing for people with autism or is it an odd thing to feel? | aspergers |
I have read of other diagnosis relying or manipulating a traumatic experience to validate more suffering by giving you treatment you do not need for something you do not have.
If you are suffering through a doctor's incompetence, try to find a new doctor.
Always get a second opinion. Often diagnosis are changed multiple times because really they just do not know.
Read everything you can. | ptsd |
hello everyone i want to tell you guys something good
so i have aspergers like most here and today when i was talking to my ldr boyfriend his amberalert went off on his phone which emidetely triggered a reaction in me (loud sudden noises are one of my triggers alarms and fireworks mostly) he was able to quickly calm me down just by talking to me
this meant so much to me it only happened 20ish minutes ago | aspergers |
It had a lot of sentimental value as my partner of 2.5 years got it for me on one of our first dates. I’ve checked online and it would be next to impossible to replace it- it’s out of production and hard to find. I’m moving and it got mixed in with the donation box because of course I wasn’t paying attention because I’m fucking overwhelmed. It’s probably silly but I’m just really really sad. | ADHD |
It took me a year and a half of sitting in sessions talking about unrelated things, but I finally opened up to my therapist about my trauma. She said that it was ok that it took time, I needed to do it when I was ready. Honestly, I didn't open up before because my trauma made sense to me. I deserved it. Not a lot left for discussion.
I haven't always been a good person. In the past I engaged in behavior that emotionally hurt other people and people I loved. I wasn't trying to hurt them, but looking back, I did and I can never take it back. There are many things in my life I would do differently if I could. There are many times I could have been a better friend and a stronger person.
My trauma took away any sense of safety, my drive, my concentration, my ability to function. I lost myself as a person and it feels like I was meant to experience this. | ptsd |
I have heard learning modes or 'styles' is a little dated or discredited. I thought it still worth asking as I can sponge up podcasts, lectures and class delivery information... at times.
Perhaps these listening examples are also when I am well stimulated and in the zone.
Do people that have APD symptoms experience them consistently or can hyperfocus overcome them at times? | ADHD |
I got prescribed adderall xr and its been really like inconsistent throughout the day. When i first take it, it ramps up relatively quickly to the point where its overstimulating, then drops down to a decent spot where i don't experience side effects and my brain clears up, and 4 hours (ish) later it spikes back up again and overstimulates. It works well in terms of treating my symptoms, but these jolts are really distracting. Should i try vyvanse since its a smoother delivery, or maybe the dosage is wrong? Or maybe i should suggest switching to IR to get more control over the jolts? | ADHD |
I think some of the things i wrote here can be triggering (not sure).
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Hi, I'm 14 and female. I have been thinking for the past few months that maybe what i'm experiencing right now is OCD. Not like i'm thinking i really do have it, but just a guess.
I have intrusive thoughts that are really disturbing, creepy, and really uncomfortable. Such thoughts are me being a p3doph1le, that i'm a psychopath, that i need to be insecure, that i need to fall in love with all men in this world, that i need to be jealous to other people, and i know that this is not what i feel. But i'm still really scared of myself for thinking like this. Intrusive thoughts have been disturbing me every single day. And because of this I have su1c1dal thoughts. And there are also times where I'm scared of myself cause maybe my intrusive thoughts are real. I really hate it. I really do. I cry about this all the time until my head hurts. Its scary and i just want all of this to end. I want help. I want to tell this to my parents but im scared cause maybe they'll be scared of me too.
What should i do? Can you give me tips to overcome this? Thank you in advance.
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(sorry for my english)
Edit: Hi guysss! So today my parents decided to take me to a psychiatrist. When I was talking to them about what I was feeling I cried so hard and when I said that I was afraid to tell people I have disturbing thoughts, they told me that they understood me. | OCD |
so i've (20m) been seeing someone (21m) that i really am starting to catch feelings for, and things are going really well. he was upfront about me right away about his past, in which a 14 year old catfished him when he was 18 and he got arrested and registered as a sex offender. he explained his whole situation right away and made it clear that if this was deal breaking then he would understand, and i trust that he's being honest because of my own experience. i know he's a good person who would never knowingly cause harm like that. but here's the catch: i was 14 when my abuser was 18. he knew my age, and he still continued to do what he did. i know they are very different people and very different situations, but something about that age parallel is really fucking me up, especially since as of late, i've been experiencing age dissociation where i feel like i'm 13-14 again because i recently moved back in with my mom. im trying to figure out how to approach this conversation with him so i can let him know that it's not HIS fault that i'm having anxiety like this, but also explaining my past trauma without him feeling like i'm accusing him of being similar to my abuser. in my rational mind, i know he'll be loving and understanding like he's been with all of the other little bombshells i've dropped about my mental health, but i can't shake this fear that this is gonna destroy the first good thing i've had in a long time.
i'm not sure if this is just a vent or if i'm looking for advice or support, but i feel like i needed to talk about it here because i can't really open up to my friends about it since it's his business and i don't know how comfortable he is with people knowing about what happened with him. it's fucking hard though. | ptsd |
My OCD. My OCD's war crimes make my narc dad seem like the best person ever, as a matter of fact they could make almost anyone look good. It's not cause it flashes sex shots of my parents and even grandmother in front of me anytime I see them or masturbate or see a trigger word (i.e head my mom giving me head) and made me wet dreams of my mom 6 times destroying most of my relationship with them for a while, it's not cause it made me compulsively confess everything, it's not cause it made me touch my classmates causing big issues, it's not even cause it made me touch my fathers dick multiple times when I was THIRTEEN but for how and with what evil after I did everything it said destroyed, raped, tortured and then blamed my 8th grade, all of it bar the prom. I can take sexual OCD no matter how obscene it is like me eating my moms pubic hair like a cow, can take it, can take so many other "normal" OCD's but what it did to me in 8th grade man. So to start with something from the second half of 6th grade it made me fall out with my best friend for over 2 years, later cancelled any bond I had friends so I am all alone to start, then it started making it rituals bigger and bigger till anything could trigger them and as such they'd last for hours on end with very very small breaks usually filled with fear of how long the next ritual gonna last. Then it pushed the final straw, it banned me from video games, my passion and then followed that by banning me from being happy, like at all. It literally banned feeling anything positive even if I felt good for an x amount of time like from masturbation(which btw this was before the incest thing and I was so depressed that I masturbated in front of my parents so many times like always, I didn't even think about that been to depressed) I could not allow to drop the overall feeling of despair since I didn't deserve it. But it STILL made me do those rituals whom at this point not only could I not leave the house even in the house I still had to crouch, close my eyes and there were only a handful (like 2) position in the house which didn't prompt rituals and even then I had to do them in my head cause I'd think of those "terrible" things and if I did anything when thinking about that one bad thing I had to repeat the action about a 100 times while climbing the thought ladder thinking about better and better things till I got to the "best". Had to constantly match every thought with every move with every number and it's multiplication and division with every sensation. It also made me get in much trouble for skipping school cause I had to go back to do these rituals eventually at the threat of lowering my grade for skipping classes, I had to wait till the end of school as to do them but had to suffer every moment till I did it, every time as a matter of fact when I was procrastinating them or when I couldn't make it in like 1 second, the rule of repeating actions stayed here too so since walking back a mile from where I came since I saw that thing 100 times would take too long it allowed me to "pretend" to do those things super fast of coarse to deserve to think about anything but the bottom worse I had to suffer during the rituals and it managed to twist those things so sickly that I can say 100% certain it was a lot worse then the incest scenes in my head eve the ones with certain eating so I did everything I could to stop them even if for a second (literally). So I am alone, suffering, lost my only light, lost the ability to feel positive, trouble at school that's it right? WRONG!!! My OCD also made me blame myself and 8th grade for everything, it made me "know" I am the sinner below people who make kids rape their moms and that while I was doing all the rituals such sinners as me can only hope to reduce their sins a bit while also saying it's the only good thing in my life even now it always says it is the best thing ever with the most morals and forgiveness one could have HA Lmao and that if it made me do all that to me I had to be a sinner of unimaginable size for it to not forgive me. Living with everything from memories to all things drenched in pitch black Hell, despair and hate, banning me the last things I still liked and blaming me and others for it all while making me worship him, I simply in retrospect don't understand his sick need to go this far in destroying anything and everything remotely good in my life, even other OCD's I saw on [r/OCD](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/) are angels compered to this guy, most of those people have friends and SO's and can have electronics Hell people who complain about sexual OCD (POCD, HOCD) have no idea how privilaged they are. The worst is I believed it was the best life I could have but life after I beat him I realize how much I've been missing out. I will forgive him for it did to my relatives in my head, I will forgive it for what it did to me and my best friends friendship, I will even forgive him for making me touch my dads d, but mark my words I will NEVER forgive him for what it did to my 8th grade. At least before there was a reward system, I do whatever it says and I get to think about my games for a minute as small as it was thinking about my games meant enough for me to be kind of happy even though I wanted to be more like other 7th graders, but in 8th grade it took out the reward and replaced it with suffering if I do the ritual more suffering if I don't and the more was so big I had to them. The times I had full blown panic attacks for seeing something as small as Totally Spies or remembering any childhood memory as I hoped I'd "make" it out of this one. The times I begged for skipping the one small thing I saw so I didn't have to return home in the middle of school. The fact I spent all my classes with an eye closed as to not see that Mickey Mouse poster and other such things everywhere not just in class, on the roads from school to home and in home too, the fact I always thought I was worth nothing and hated myself so much I was happy for my dad not showing up to my junior graduation, for the fact I never blamed him for any of it instead worshipping it as the guy that allowed me to sin less due to rituals and I will never forgive him for still having dreams of my old middle school and how 8th grade could have been, the happiness in those dreams only to wake up feeling bad for what could have been honestly those dreams are much worse then the wet dreams of my mother. Now I can be happy and trust Jesus he will punish my OCD in it's afterlife as much as it deserves to be | OCD |
I feel like i'm losing my mind.
everything in my life on paper should make me happy. I started dating a girl a month ago, I got one of the best internships in my field lined up for next summer, I just bought a new truck, but i'm not happy.
i haven't been happy in a long time, ive had moments of happiness sure, but now i cant get myself to do my school work, im failing two important classes and wont graduate with my friends and ill need to take another semester, i know everyone hates their roommate's but i legitimately live with the worst types of human beings, they are violent aggressive and morally bankrupt drug addicts and i cant leave because of my lease. I feel like i've been on the brink of a psychotic break for months.
Ive tried so hard, i tried meditating, i tried a morning routine, reading every self help book i can and downloading every headspace app i can get. I feel like nothing i do is going to change and i want to sit in a corner with a blanket over me until the world goes away... but i know it wont.
i used to feel like a level headed guy, an ambitious guy who always had a plan and had an answer for anything when my friends came to me, and now i feel like a shell of someone I was. I don't know what changed.
I told my sister last night id talk to a counselor today. i cant bring myself to do it, hell i cant even bring myself to shower. my girlfriend senses something is wrong but everything is so new i feel that if i tell her she is going to just drop me as she should because this is too much baggage this early in a relationship.
when will this end, i'm desperate | depression |
This isn't the first time I have done that, either. But it's considably worse this year.
I am still by some miracle probably making it to the required 30. But honestly, this is a big lousy poop, too.
I took 42 ECTS because I had a stupid ambition of getting out of my shitty country quicker and doing a minor in addition.
My new psychiatrist put my smarts from my bum into my head and made me realize that if anything, I am going to take a year longer. Possibly because I overexcerted myself and didn't deal with the budding anhedonia until it got too bad.
Currently, all I want to do is cry, sleep, cuddle my partner who is 2h into the west and a good +10 degrees into the south compared to our freezing wastes here.
And then I want to maybe gently do the other subjects that I now still have a chance in.
I know they are all, once again, disappointed in me. I can't be NOT lousy. I mean, it was better with methylphenidate 36mg, but it caused so much anxiety, made my OCPD flare up and I barely have any meaning in me by now.
I don't know but I end up really needing something in these moments. Warm comfort, validation, calling it a crisis and resorting to giving up, and not feeling too bad about it - like always.
I am afraid for some reason that they will call me out on it and be like "come on, you! Get it over with. Get the test done. It is not that hard.". But I wasn't present the entire semester.
I didn't have my redeeming arc to play this time, I barely know who I am or why I should want things - my wants only include sitting even more comfortably and doing nothing, preferably when cuddled and spoiled.
It's not like I have been time wise overwhelmed. I had ages to do these things. But I don't have meaning or a story for a while now, or any sort of pride in career things/goals/wants, and I can't tolerate being without some sort of a dramatic narrative apparently. Well, for years now, that has been absent.
I don't have that thing that people call ego, that makes them do things due to identity-vibes and feelings, anymore. I am not sure that I ever had a healthy one, but in its cringy way it worked. Before I either felt or got told that real life is not a story, and that it's toxic to think that way, by an ex partner - but I also lost passion for my own symbolism, deciding that this and that was no longer entertaining, and reaching a point of exhaustion (ran out of them) of all the subversion and plot twists that made it worth engaging with.
All I want is hugs and away from here and to be a little sl*t for my loved one for a while. I know that will not intellectually stimulate me forever, but I struggle with dysphoria and feelings about my sexuality in relation to that, and doing something human just doesn't fit the extremely narrow window of acceptable traits and activities. So I have no way left to use my usual ADHD coping mechanisms.
I am seeing my psych on the 14th, and my partner on the 16th. And I just want it all to be over, skip to the good parts and to some sort of relief.
Any help, sympathy, understanding or advice is more than welcome. | ADHD |
**TL;DR:** How does a parent go about getting their adult/near-adult children (18M, 16F) diagnoses if they want them?
**Context:** I'm a 44 year old US-based IT professional, husband, and father of two. I got my own ADHD diagnosis earlier this year, though I'd suspected I had it for several years prior to that. It took a solid year for me to navigate the mental health care system (such as it is) and graduate from my PCP saying "you probably don't have ADHD, but here's some Adderall if you want to try it" to a mental health professional saying "you definitely have ADHD, talk to my peer over here who's a therapist and I'll manage your meds for you."
My mental health care provider organization does all of its action online right now - I have regular meetings with both my med manager and therapist via teleconference, and things are going fairly well for me.
Getting ADHD diagnosis and treatment for an adult can be opaque and difficult, but there are ways for people to learn how to navigate the system (like r/ADHD!). Getting the same for a young child is a little easier since there are well-established systems for that in the US. (Not *much* easier, but at least there's a path.)
My kids are in a bit of a gray area. Getting diagnosis and treatment for older teenagers feels ... really fraught, and I'd love some advice.
**The problem (or opportunity!):** As I learned more about ADHD I started to see a lot of hallmark behaviors in my own teenaged kids. Their symptoms weren't/aren't dramatic or disruptive, which is probably why it never occurred to anyone (least of all us) that it was really a problem.
I've never brought up ADHD with them in the context of "you might have ADHD," but I do talk openly about my own diagnosis and treatment, and they are observant human beings. I think they see how things have changed for me for the better in the past year. They also have access to the internet and can do their own research re: symptoms, coping mechanisms, etc.
My daughter (**16F**) talks openly with me about how this-or-that difficulty for her is an ADHD symptom. E.g., being intensely interested in a new career field for about a week and then discarding it, or wanting to do *everything* under the sun (sing professionally! work with AI! volunteer overseas!) and yet not actually pursuing those dreams. She excels at school, but only when it's interesting to her; every other "useless" high school thing is a dreadful, impossible task. I think she's essentially diagnosed herself, but she has said fairly clearly she's not interested in meds.
My son (**18M**) asked me just yesterday how he could go about getting a diagnosis. He listed several behaviors that fit the bill: hyperfocus on stimulating pursuits, lack of engagement on things that are "boring," impulsively cleaning the kitchen at 3 a.m., driving too fast all the time (which might just be a symptom of being 18M, who knows). He hasn't given any kind of opinion about medication, though he's aware of my own meds and jokes casually about it being "meth, but prescribed by a professional."
**The options:** The way I figure it, we could approach the "let's get diagnosed" problem in one of a couple ways:
1. Go through their primary care physicians
2. Go directly to my own mental health care provider (described above)
There may be a third option I'm not thinking of - let me know what I might be missing.
16F is still being seen by her pediatrician, while 18M has recently leveled up into seeing a regular adult doctor. Both are under my insurance for the foreseeable future. Both also trust me well enough with their medical information to supervise their care and have quite a lot of oversight.
I *could* help them navigate option 1, but that could take quite a long time, especially given that I don't know those doctors' level of experience when it comes to mental health care in general and ADHD in particular. I don't want the kids to have the same hurdles I did.
Option 2 seems like it'd be the more expedient and thorough option, but I feel uneasy about it for reasons I can't articulate. (I won't try to journal that out here - this post has gotten quite long enough.)
**Anyway:** Thanks for reading this far along. If you scrolled directly to the bottom after reading the TL;DR, I completely understand! ADHD, you know?
I appreciate your thoughts and insights! | ADHD |
I just remember that i had a dream that their was a person that chasing me and it feels like that my ocd chasing me and i keep running, it was scary. | OCD |
You know how sometimes comedians will be standing on a stage that's surrounded on 3 or 4 sides by people? That always makes me feel a little weird. Like, shouldn't they turn around once in a while and give everyone roughly equal face time? And then I start thinking if that were me I probably could not do it. It would be awkward. | aspergers |
Does anyone here recommend any fidgets or just really anything to use that is good for picking/peeling? I’m tired of using my lips. It hurts so bad. But I need to do the action of picking/peeling or else it doesn’t help me. | OCD |
Well fuck... what are we fighting for?
What am I fighting for?
Won't know.
So far behind yet so far ahead. Does wisdom beat productivity? Fuck if I know. | depression |
I've read a lot of articles that are intended for the NT partner of someone with ASD. I try to understand what she goes through as I'm trying to understand what about my differences are related to this condition and which are just me being an a-hole or what have you.
The one I just read put a point on something many of the others had said - *"Realize you can teach a person on the autism spectrum how to be different. This will require patience and perseverance. Do not be satisfied with the status quo; instead, get in there and help your loved one learn how to relate to you in a healthy way."*
Something that has developed over time is how she tries to explain what "normal people" would do, say, or understand (interpret) ...
I've wondered how I can trust what she is saying is true or if she is biased, even subconsciously, by her own intentions. This is particularly true during arguments. Most of those are based on interpretation of language - "no, what you said was blah and that means blah."
Curious if anyone can relate and if you blindly trust what you're told. Where is the line? | aspergers |
I have trauma from my dad's behavior growing up, and when is the appropriate time to tell someone I have PTSD? I'm concerned I could get triggered by someone that looks like him in public, or sometimes it intrusively pops up in my mind like one of the assaults will, and then I'll dissociate for a bit and relive a portion of it, and then my body will violently jerk, and I'll be out of it. I'm scared that will happen in front of them on even a first date. Hopefully, we would already be friends, so maybe they would already have some idea, but I'm worried the anxiety from being on a date would add onto it and maybe make it more likely to happen. How would I address if it did happen? It's like a panic attack, but I dissociate and have absolutely zero control over it until it's over. | ptsd |
The advice I hear is that when I'm feeling depressed or suicidal is to talk to someone. I don't mind talking to a therapist, but WELL I currently don't have one for a few weeks. Plus it's all telehealth right now. I really don't trust my family. I think they get a kick out of nonreligious Billiam feels lost and hopeless without religion. And my friends don't want to hear my shit. They'll say, just talk to me but I can tell that they're saying that to be nice. When you do actually talk to them you can tell they'd rather not. No one wants to hear my shit. And I get it because I get annoyed hearing everyone else's shit. Why would I want to open up when I know no one wants to hear it. I'll just be alone in my own thoughts with my head up my ass. I'm a turd ass cynical asshole and I don't care anymore. | depression |
I would like to get better so I can stop making my family miserable, stop making everyone angry with me, be able to just work through the physical pain so I can stop being a burden. I don’t like being a burden. Hearing everyone else do better than me doesn’t make me feel better, it almost feels like my mom and sisters are rubbing it in my face.
Although, im almost 30, what’s the point of even trying anymore? I hate how hard I try, I feel pathetic calling and asking for references for therapy that my insurance takes, I feel even stupider calling a specialist for help with my knee because I know he doesn’t believe me - I just know nothing I do, how hard I try, it’s not going to get better. More than anything, I wish I could just disappear or drop dead and never be found.
The relief and joy my family would feel…I’d love to give them that. Dealing with me for the past 29 years, they deserve to never have to listen, look, or provide for me again. If I had the means to hide out in a wooded area, somewhere quiet and pretty, I would just end it all myself for them. I really just want to make everyone happy because with me around, no one is happy. I hate how much I’ve ruined things for them. | depression |
I want to feel happy, simply said than done. I am a 15M from western Europe. Last year around this time I also felt bad. I think that it just was because of a winter dip or something like that. This year I tried everything I can to feel happy and not get a winter dip. I am eating good, exercising, going outside, making friends, chasing my dreams, doing my best in school. I even have a therapy lamp that is supposed to fix winter dips. But still, I feel exhausted, grasping for a gap in my life. To just sleep and fully recharge. I'm like a phone whose battery isn't fully charged every day and honestly, I don't even know-how. Around Juli, I was on vacation and I fully rested, as people do 1 on vacations. It was in Austria, in the mountains. Where I live, there are no mountains. I feel a certain comfort when I look outside and see a huge ass mountain doing what a mountain does, nothing. I don't know if I have linked comfort with mountains because most of the times I have seen mountains I was relaxed or that mountains themself make me relaxed. Anyways, I desire, mountains... Because that is my hope to find happiness and relax. But wait, it gets weirder, fake scenes. And it's not that I make these to get to sleep, no. It takes me hours, days, weeks to make a full-fledged 3D, sometimes photorealistic, mountain landscape. And when I look at my work I feel a certain comfort, that same comfort but weaker than actually being in Austria. How do I stop this crazy grave for happiness and just be OK with my situation? How do I get less stressed up about the smallest things in life? I am so desperate at this point that I am asking you, Redditors, yes you. So please, help me. BTW I DON"T KNOW IF THIS IS SOME WEIRD ASS ADHD THING I DIDN"T KNOW | ADHD |
I guess he kinda brought it up, at least, the person, the trigger
And me, dying to express what has been so hard to make sense of
And I already felt very emotional
But he kinda got short and shut down and it felt just like when it was fresh and I went fir support and my family got mad for talking about it because they thought it would just be sdwelling and making it worse.
The urge to Express it comes once in a blue moon
But the time my aunt called me a buzzkill when I was saying how scared of court I was
She said it so callously as if 7hrs s and 9 drinks later she wouldn't cry to us about something seemingly insignificant and I guess emotions are best kept to y ok yourself
Just wish it actually helped and made me more positive and fun
Instead of numb and different than who I was
So if anyone is willing to hear how I feel or felt or not return to on a trigger
I just wanna vent but not if it upsets someone
Not every person wants to listen like a therapist
And I regret trying to explain why I seemed so different
Should just chalk it up to my meds
Or blame it on my accident | ptsd |
I'm aware that traumatic experiences are a risk factor for OCD, however I wonder if the disorder itself can cause trauma. Often my own obsessions become so intense that they cause panic attacks as well as constant anxiety for days. Maybe someone with even more severe OCD could have traumatic experiences via the obsessions. | OCD |
My son and I are both in the process of getting diagnosed with ADHD inattentive, so both currently unmedicated, my son is 5.
Learning about my own ADHD has been so freeing, as I have struggled through life to this point and have always assumed I was lazy. I really want to be supportive and have home be a safe place for him, however, he annoys the hell out of me. I don't know if it's the ADHD behaviours themselves or that seeing so much of me in him triggers something but I am definitely not the calm, patient parent I want to be.
I also struggle with the organising required to make his life easier. I come up with projects (rearranging rooms etc) to give him structure and systems but I end up either not completing them or not implementing them.
Help me please! | ADHD |
It is not even a fear of Covid-19 anymore. It is absolutely disgusting to see people talk over food I am supposed to eat without wearing a mask. I have a feeling getting back to my normal comfort will be a long challenge. | OCD |
A bit of backstory, I've been working in the aviation field for 15 years as an avionics technician. I was never great at the hands on repairing work, I am slower than my peers at it and would get incredibly frustrated at the aircraft when things were difficult (they almost always are.) I have always enjoyed the troubleshooting and system analysis side of the job though and I was really good at it. When I was in the army I had a friend and we worked perfectly, like two halves of a fully functioning brain we sometimes say (as it turns out he recently was diagnosed as being on the spectrum.) He was great at the hand work and no slouch when it came to trouble shooting, he also despised the administrative side of aviation work, everything takes a mountain of paperwork. I enjoyed that side too. So we would get a problem sit down for a couple of minutes figure out a game-plan then get to work. He would do most of the hand work and I would be more of an assistant. I would run the checks and do the paperwork. After the army I got into corporate aviation and I quickly got burnt out on aviation work but still kept with it for many years, getting more and more miserable each day.
Fast forward to today, I am using my GI Bill to try and get a decent career that pays well enough. I'm not looking for hedgefund manager money, but I want to provide for my family. I started with a degree in Technical Management it ended up being very aviation focused centered mostly around being a maintenance team manager. So I changed over to a degree in Business Analytics thinking that the more analytical nature of the degree would suit me better. I am struggling with the mathematics portion, my higher educated friends keep reassuring me that I just have to get through the basic level math and the higher stuff is "easier." At this point I just don't know what to do. | aspergers |
i have a very hard time opening up to teachers and councillors and basically any adult. until i know them i dont trust that they have my best interest in mind. i spent my whole childhood telling adults around me that there was something wrong with me that was making life harder for me than it is for other people. i didnt get diagnosed with ADHD until i was seventeen. i just got scolded for forgetting things and not doing my homework.
my AP bio classroom is very loud and crowded so i usually leave so i can concentrate better (i have adhd. duh.) and i could sense my bio teacher getting more and more testy with me about it so i tried to talk to him. he said that he's frustrated with me because im a personable person but refuse to work in a room with people. and he said that im avoiding reality.
im really upset about this. i thought he was a teacher i could trust and i will never be able to see him the same way. i dont know how to talk to him now that i know thats what he thinks of me. i want to drop the class and take it online, but the administrator id have to talk to about that would not understand. im aware that this reaction looks unreasonable from an outside perspective. and it would definitely look unreasonable to her. i want to quietly and immediately never have to interact with him again but i dont know how to make that happen also im very upset, horrible bad awful bad feeling.
i dont know how im going to ask for the things i need to be successful when this is the response i get. | ADHD |
everyone around me has talent, from my brothers to my classmates but everything I've ever done I've had to try ten times harder then most, and recently I've stopped putting in that effort, and its just so hard to keep going. its hard to explain this feeling but, i want to give up, i have for a while, even at my best all the people around me have told me to try harder, it's such an awful feeling to be told every day that my best isn't good enough, its chipped away at me for so long I've decide to give up i haven't gone to school in weeks even video games (which has been my escape from this) have stopped intreating me. so thanks for reading and yeah i just kinda need to get that off my mind. | depression |
I know this is a minor inconvenience compared to all of the other PTSD symptoms, but still. Sometimes people tell me they love how my smile brightens up the room, and inside I just feel like a fraud because more often than not I'm just smiling out of fear. | ptsd |
Okay, so I have that thing where my Chair (in school) has to be symmetrical to the table in a weird way. It's like that "it feels right" thing and in order to kinda push the chair I always have to bang my foot against the legs of the chair which obviously is a little disruptive but today I resisted the urge! For 2 minutes but still! It's a begining. | OCD |
I have been reading about potential correlations between ASD and hypothyroidism (under active thyroid function) and was just curious if y’all relate? I got diagnosed at 13 with hypo
Source: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28199771/ | aspergers |
The only time I liked myself was back in highschool, I had hope. Everyone wore the same uniform, we were equals. Sure I was loser even then, but I had friends to see everyday, friends to return to during lunch, I belonged. If I could see my friends every day I would probably look forward to each day. But now I see them every month or so, it sucks. I hate my uni degree I hate that I still don't have a girlfriend. I'm a totally normal looking guy, but inside I'm dead. I couldn't get good at anything even if I tried. My one wish is to return to highschool, and perpetually live like that. It sucked, but it was a million times better than my life right now, that speaks volumes. I'm so pathetic I laugh at myself. I wish I had talents. I wish I was good at things. | depression |
So, this is what it feels like.
I wonder if this feeling of emptiness is only temporary or will it last a lifetime. I've been listening to music whilst laying in bed to cope with it. Also, I feel that my sleep has fluctuated ever since. Every morning, I get this sense of dread come over me but I still manage to get up and go about my routine. Although, I do feel like I'm on autopilot throughout the day. I don't think I've cried this much in my entire life. I shed tears because I can sense that something's wrong with me mentally as if I'm going nuts. I've distanced myself from a lot of my friends and logged out all of my social media since I don't want to trouble them with problems. I want to seek help but I'm not sure if my parents would understand.
Thanks for reading ❤ .. | depression |
i’ve heard about this before, but i just need to vent i guess. i just recently got a boyfriend, and my mom has been using pregnancy as a scare tactic for me to not have sex. it’s fucked up, i know, but i don’t think she realizes the effect it’s having on me. i’ve never had sex, but i have given head before and i’m terrified that somehow i’m pregnant. i had my period last week but it’s not convincing me. if i feel gross it’s like my mind immediately goes to me being pregnant. if my stomach pokes out a little, i get the obsessive thoughts. it’s exhausting, and i’m scared that if i do have sex i’ll be too anxiety-ridden to enjoy it, and i don’t want this to get in the way of my relationship or just my mental health in general. does anyone else suffer from this, is there anything i can do? i grew up super religious so i think this fear has a lot to do with the purity culture ive grown up in. i’m just so scared. i hate ocd. | OCD |
They have no verbal filter and often say things that are just inappropriate or irrelevant yet they don't get "punished" in the sense that they either don't care or don't realize that they're committing social faux paus. Yet they're still happy somehow. It's unfair. | aspergers |
I recently started taking Gabapentin to help with PTSD symptoms. Curious about other people's experiences with it. | ptsd |
I just know that if I have a boyfriend, my family members kind of joke about how much work I can be, or how much patience \_\_\_\_\_\_ must have. I kind of get it, cause I'm bipolar and on the spectrum but there's something harmful about me just casually accepting that I am this heavy burden to whoever I am with.
I also get this too from boyfriends' friends who just see me as a big energy suck, or something.
I think that my autism makes me get angry or stressed fast,
and also I talk and emote really quickly, good or bad. | aspergers |
Hi! I am a 2nd year Computer science student and we are currently in hybryd system, Where we can come for the lecture physically or we can join the lecture online. My inner self tells me to go there to the university and meet people physically but I have this urge to stay home and have the lesson online as I can learn basically with the same performance and it’s much easier as I can stay at home and still study. Should I really try to go the uni and travel for 30 minutes and still get the same knowledge I could? The only reason I see is to maybe try socializing with people but I am scared after the lecture I will just go back home again and waste an hour in the bus…Maybe someone has a simillar situation as me and can relate to it | depression |
I have been trying to expose myself to the fear of manifestation that came into my life years ago upon discovering the “law of attraction.”
I was watching videos on the LOA and people are saying it’s all about “intention,” stating what “you want” and working hard to get it.
Now my OCD is trying to say “I want” whatever horrible thing I fear to happen to me. Because that’s like stating an intention? And now I’m just even more scared that I’m stating this intention and it’ll come true now. Lol. I can’t stand this. And I can’t do this anymore. I can’t. I’m going to keep trying hard to do ERP and to just let these scary thoughts come and it is what it is I guess. | OCD |
I suspect I am on the spectrum. I am asking this because I used to rarely experience issues with my senses. However, now at the age of 19 I am getting easily overloaded, especially when it comes to sounds and vision. Being in a place with multiple sounds and some of them loud makes me wanna scream and cry in the corner, shut everything up.
Is it typical for some aspergers symptoms to appear later in life, and do the symptoms generally get worse with time? | aspergers |
I have noticed I tend to be calm and stable when I am studying. I feel better when my brain is busy and learning. Does anyone else feel this way? | aspergers |
I have two sons diagnosed with autism. I have been a foster mom to quite a few individuals diagnosed with autism as well. Going #2 has been a terrible problem for nearly every single one of the kids. Retaining is such a difficulty. Can you elaborate, please? Please explain to me if this is something that is function related to how the digestive track is working, a sensory issue, or a fear perhaps? | aspergers |
Hey guys!
Is your ocd sometimes like that - if i walking on the street and see a more “stronger person” my brain is like oh he is fat( intrusive thought) . And i am like wtf i didnt want to think of that , it is so intrusive haha. | OCD |
I'm trying my best but keep burning my pans. I have a bird, so regular nonstick/Teflon is out, and I keep ruining ceramic pans by burning them. I've literally set off the fire alarm multiple times while standing right in front of the stove and spacing out.
I'm looking at cast iron or carbon steel, but my trash brain and bad joints would like something easy to maintain and able to handle foods that stick. I tried carbon steel once, but even after repeated seasoning attempts it kept flash rusting.
Now I'm thinking about cast iron, but what are your thoughts? How hard is it to maintain and will it stay nonstick even if I let something burn? | ADHD |
My stupid mistake is that before my cdr I have never been to see a psychiatrist/psychologist for me condition. Why? its a combination of being ignorant of what exactly is needed cdrs work and because i honestly didn't think needed to see a therapist. i did not see a therapist regularly before getting onto ssi/ssdi. in fact i only saw a therapist 3 times before getting approved, 2 of which was due to my father taking me and the other one of which was a therapist the ssa sent me. Foolishly i didn't think to go to a therapist regularly after being approved. I go to regular doctor but i dont think that helps.
After years of being on ssi/ssdi i have received my first(and maybe last) long form cdr and I think I will most likely loose my benefits. A little background about myself. Originally I got onto ssi/ssdi(with aid from my father) due to being diagnosed with Asperger(now classified as autism i think?), other mental related to it stuff, such as my trouble concentrating, interacting with people, etc.
My stupid mistake is that before my cdr I have never been to see a psychiatrist/psychologist for me condition. Why? its a combination of being ignorant of what exactly is needed cdrs work and because i honestly didn't think needed to see a therapist. i did not see a therapist regularly before getting onto ssi/ssdi. in fact i only saw a therapist 3 times before getting approved, 2 of which was due to my father taking me and the other one of which was a therapist the ssa sent me. Foolishly i didnt think to go to a therapist regularly after being approved. I go to regular doctor but i don't think that helps in this situation.
Now i think I'm probably going to loose my benefits due to my ignorance and and now im super anxious and obsessively looking at any info to the point I can't bring myself to concentrate on anything else, like going grocery shopping, or eating. I plan to go a therapist when I can find one that takes medicaid/medicare, but I'm not sure what good that will do. | aspergers |
well one of the reason is because I've seen some rule 34 stuffs here about ben 10 cartoon. well i was depressed about it. today, i came to know that even reddit has a subreddit for ben 10 rule 34 stuffs, i got relived, and to prove myself I am just like anyone else, I masturbated to it again,. after that I gone into a comment section and saw a person told only pedos masturbate to it, it started to freak me out. I don't know what to do. I Feel like dying | OCD |
One of the things I find to help with my ADHD is to use music, (esp w my executive dysfunction) and specifically my noise canceling earbuds which help me stay grounded and help me focus on tasks, and not get sensory overloaded.
Unfortunately today, I discovered one of the earbuds stopped working and even though one side still works, the noise canceling effect is like not as strong. I tried to troubleshoot the problem myself but it didn't work, and now basically the only thing I can do is to wait until I can buy them again and they only sell them at like stores like walmart/target which are a good drive away from where I live (I'm a minor without my own car.)
The thing is that the next time I can get a new pair is in 2 weeks when my parents could maybe drive me to the store and I'm terrified and very stressed about my like scedule/way of life changing without this thing that aids me, and how I'm going to probably have sensory overloads at school and this weekend because I will be attending a thing that will have tons of people in attendance.
Any tips on how to not stress myself out over this? | ADHD |
I got diagnosed around 10+ yrs ago, and started treatment with paroxetine 6yrs ago. Right before the pandemic hit I started thinking I might not have OCD. I did CBT at some point and we never focused on it as a diagnosis but on how I felt about certain things. When the pandemic hit I realized I, in fact, had OCD; went into full anxiety mode, had to go to urgent care (they have me xanax and sent me home) I was obsessed that I had covid, gave it to my family and everyone would die because of me, amongst other wondrous obsessions. As of today, I take 10mg of paroxetine and xanax at night. My dr recommends double the doses, I digress. Today, aside from health anxiety (some days I think I have HIV, diabetes, apendicitis, I google everything.. the usual) I have some compulsions that I’m not sure I can’t attribute to OCD? But these were the reason why I was diagnosed at 16ish. I’ll explain it the best way I can: I feel the need to move certain muscles, right side neck one for example, and my right foot’s big toe. Yes it happens when I’m anxious, and also when I calm. I have to do it, it’s as if my body needed it; like an itch. If I try not to, I’ll move some other body part but it won’t “scratch the itch”
I wonder if anyone else has something like this because it doesn’t seem to be very common. | OCD |
I was referred for ADHD testing. After meeting with the psychiatrist (clinic policy to meet with psychiatry before adhd testing), they said that it’s so obvious I have ADHD. They said they want to put me on medication even before my ADHD testing, because it’s extremely clear to them that I have ADHD.
(They’re still going to have me get tested but more like as a formality.)
They said that they want to prescribe me a stimulant but they want an EKG from me before I start taking it. They also sent me in for blood lab work. The tests were about vitamin b12, hemoglobin A1c, etc.
I remember them saying that EKG needs to be done ASAP bcuz they don’t feel comfortable prescribing it until they see the results.
I’m very new to this process, so any advice/knowledge/experience is greatly appreciated. I don’t know much about this. | ADHD |
Hello there, is there anyone with aspergers, but doesn't follow a specific Routine?
I am in the process of being diagnosed and even If I score relatively high in many categories I wonder about routines.
Is it possible for ne to have Asperger, if I don't have any urge to follow a specific Routine?
Is it possible that there is a "hidden routine" which seems to bei normal, but isn't?
I would be glad to read some of your experiences.
Thanks for your answers in advance. | aspergers |
I enjoy creative stuff or anything that requires working as part of a team. I've been in customer service for a long time and I despise it with every fibre of my being.
I can't afford to go back to school and I'm ineligible for student loans.
Are there any good career options for someone like me? | aspergers |
Does anyone else find it difficult to contact friends - even close friends - but are generally ok contacting colleagues at work over work matters? | aspergers |
I've never known a life without trauma. The first one happened when I was a month old. I don't remember it but the effects still linger to this day. Obviously, that means that I've lived my 99.99% of my life with trauma... I had other traumas happen throughout toddler hood, childhood, and into my teens. I'm sad that I've never known what it is like to be completely carefree and without damage. Despite being on better terms with my past, a small part of me wants to live in a life where my traumas never happened. | ptsd |
My bf and I have been together almost a year and he’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met. I have and still do work hard learning about OCD so I better understand and support him. We have a very good relationship and even now I am happy with him.
Recently, I opened up about traumatic things I did when I was 6 years old. I’ve never told anybody these things and I was hesitant for a while to tell him, even though I trust him more than anybody ever. I broke down to him and shared a lot.
It triggered his OCD and retroactive jealousy and I’m not sure what else. He feels disgusted by me. He told me we can’t have sex, which in itself I am fine with if it makes him comfortable. However, it’s fueled by his OCD’s disgust of me of and my past. I don’t know how to help him or what to do. Will he ever look at me and feel the same he used to?
He means so much to me and it hurts knowing how much he’s struggling. I’m blaming myself for sharing that baggage even though he said he’s happy I opened up and was honest. Any advice, thoughts, or just support would be helpful. | OCD |
This got long, so sorry for that! But I am so pleased with how things are going!
Hi! I've been medicated for a few weeks now after FINALLY getting diagnosed at 24. All my life I've struggled with getting and especially staying organized. My space has always been very messy, not really DIRTY or like unsanitary (although before I got my cat I did have a tendency to just leave plates and cups places, it was gross. Now she keeps me on top of it because if I try to do that she immediately tries to eat the food and I don't eat anything remotely suitable for her), just a complete jumbled mess. Instead of junk drawers I have junk rooms. I would sometimes be able to hyperfocus and get one space clean but it'd be a mess again within....maybe a week tops I would say.
But now I am noticing that when I organize things I am actually KEEPING them neat. My bathroom counter has been great for a solid few weeks now, as well as my kitchen counter and pantry. Even if say, I come home super tired and with my meds worn off and leave stuff places, the next day, I see it and pick it up and put it away. It's going great! I am trying to pace myself with organizing my stuff and take one area at a time so I don't burn out. Today is my art stuff/parts of my living room. I still have trouble getting things organized in the first place (I have a comorbid condition that causes me some issues with cognitive disorganization) but I'm getting it done and I'm excited to have a nice, more usable space at the end of it!
I also have a LOT of art supplies and I am seeing that I get less overwhelmed now with large tasks like organizing it. I am also having an easier time at work. Parts of my job involve keeping times in my head for sanitizing chemicals to sit, and also long sequences of planning events as we move animals around. You need a plan, and usually at least two backup plans. I can now actually remember the specific times I put down chemicals, so I do exactly that instead of going over because I forgot and want to be on the safe side. When planning moves I have a lot easier time remembering in my head and not getting stuck. Things just seem a lot clearer and more straight forward. Driving also seems a lot less tedious. I usually have a very inaccurate view of time, but in the opposite way most ADHD people do. I usually think more time has passed than actually has which would make things like driving feel like they drag on way too long, but it's improved significantly.
I also wanted to pass on a tip I found a long time ago for keeping things clean. I keep a trash can literally everywhere I generate trash, so I have three, one in my kitchen (all food trash goes here because my cat is a demon), one near my couch where I usually eat dinner, and another by my bathroom counter. I replace the kitchen one every week but the others usually just contain paper, cans, q tips, etc. so I just replace when full. It helps a lot. If anyone has any similar tips for making life easier I would love to hear them. Also feel free to share your successes!
I am excited to see what other situations I improve in. It is like I was a bicycle with everything out of alignment and badly needing oil in my gears and suddenly I am working as I should have been all along. Thanks for reading! | ADHD |
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