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I (14 M) got the thoughts during masterbation like usual, but this time I focused on them to see if I liked them. For some reason I felt like I was about to finish despite hating every second.
I then remembered that OCD will trick you into believing that you like the thoughts. With that in mind, I did it again and didn't feel like I was going to finish.
I want to try again but I feel like I'm going to want to finish, which is terrifying.
Please tell me this is OCD and I'm not a terrible person. | OCD |
Can somebody recommend some good books or link some articles or studies or something so that i can educate myself more on OCD | OCD |
I've recently been diagnosed with OCD and ADHD, I'll be starting therapy soon.
I'd appreciate any help I can get, anything to read or watch or someone pointing me to a good start ig. | OCD |
Damn, I think I’m stuck in an unstuckable situation. I have a new job which I thought I can do but turns out I’m basically unable, I can’t even look at the tasks, can’t start them. I’ve been slacking for two weeks now. I can’t find the role I want due to some skills shortage, and I can’t learn anything new because I feel guilty for not doing anything at my actual job. I genuinely hate this, my head hurts as hell. I just want to disappear for a while… I feel like at the time I quit my old job which was okay and wasn’t giving me anxiety I was making the worst decisions of my life. | ADHD |
My OCD likes to jump from topic to topic, sometimes it's something that actually happened that I blow way out of proportion and other times it's the classic what ifs. Here lately it's been the porn I watched as a teenager.
I can't explain why or what I was thinking - and that's what bothers me - but I do recall having watched animal porn when I was younger. It makes me sick to think about now and tbh it's caused me to give up porn forever. I don't remember a lot of specifics, I just know I did it and my OCD is picking it apart relentlessly.
I'm incredibly worried about what that says about me and I'm incredibly worried about the animals in the videos. I hope they are okay. I hope they found new owners. I'm one hundred percent certain I would never harm an animal but the OCD pops back at me with what if everytime. Id also like to chalk it up to being a stupid teenager who didn't fully understand the moral implications of what they were watching and should have never had free reign access to the internet in the first place, but once again the what ifs hound me.
I feel awful about it. Like literally sick to my stomach and I can't stop thinking about it. | OCD |
I’m a 25yr female with Tourette’s Syndrome and ADHD and I was recently diagnosed and would love to hear some symptoms and experiences. I don’t know much about it and when I see discussions of OCD it’s not usually the just right type, hoping I could get some responses here :) | OCD |
There's a man who loved me , who liked to spend time with me who liked to talk to me and all. And I loved him. One day he asked me out and I said no. Because of my fucking depression and trauma and fear of being in a relationship fucked up everything :/ I kicked him out of my life.Now I'm fucking alone and I don't have nobody. Every night I think about cutting my veins but I can't do it because I'm fucking scared. Ugh I don't know how my life end I'm in pain. | depression |
When I get POCD thoughts I get bad anxiety but then I try to mimic that feeling after the thought and I can get close by moving my stomach a certain way. Does that mean I’m secretly causing my anxiety and it’s fake and I really like these thoughts? | OCD |
I am so lonely. I have not spoken to anyone but my boyfriend in a month or so. I have PTSD from childhood abuse and abuse from my ex. I am genuinely so terrified of people and have recently been medicated to get my agoraphobia under control.
I was in school for my dream course. I have had a lot of health issues and was hospitalized 3 times in 2 months. I had a field trip and it took all of me to go because I was so terrified of people and convinced all they will do is hurt you -- and had fainted from high blood pressure a few days prior.
While there I told someone I thought was my friend to stay safe because she mentioned a guy's name who had raped my friend a year ago. She contacted him and he blew up my boyfriend's phone (not even mine) threatening to jump me and ruin my life, and that my boyfriend needed to be a man and shut me up. When I tried to speak to her about it she shoved me and screamed at me. I blacked out. Threw up. Fainted. Teacher had to get me back to the school nurse and my school counselor. I fainted in front of them. I could not see. I kept blacking out. It was one of the scariest experiences of my life. When the school finally allowed me to leave the officer at the school said I needed to get a restraining order for my own safety.
My boyfriend took me to get one, while I was still light-headed and sick, and they refused me because "He had not done anything to me yet."
I pulled out of school because I am just so scared and sick. I have not spoken to anyone but my boyfriend in a month. In my class group chat we were invited to a party for Halloween and my boyfriend told me that it would be a great way to test getting back around people. I tried to be positive and actually got pretty excited.
The girl who started all this commented she would be there and asked if she could bring the guy who was threatening to hurt me. So now I can't go and I am so sick of being alone and so scared. I just want something to be okay. | ptsd |
I swear to god my mouth speaks before I comprehend what I say. Like I was on the phone on hold I meant to say “ I don’t mind waiting” but I said “ I don’t mind being patient” that is not what I meant I was also tired too but even at work a customer told me she wanted to see the review on the receipt she mentioned earlier my supervisor helped her a lot I wasn’t paying much attention then I got anxious and asked if she needed my name for the review bc usually I do that and I got so nervous doing it but she says it’s for my supervisor and I’m like ding DUHHH like she said that earlier I didn’t even want a review but I just said that 😂 j swear to god. My responses are so horrible and rude like wtf is coming out of my mouth I swear to god it makes my anxiety even worse. | ptsd |
I’m trying to decipher what I’m feeling. But I don’t think flustered alone does it justice. | aspergers |
So I’m what you call treatment resistant, which means every med I’ve been on, my body builds a quick tolerance to. For example, they put me on a dose, raise it, works well then after a while it wears off. Raise it, works well and then it wears off. We continue the process until it gets to the highest dose. And then there’s no more to raise. So now what :/ I’ve tried 4 of them already. | ADHD |
Looking for some apps to help fight ocd. Have you found anything helpful? | OCD |
ive made a couple sad posts here lately so i thought it’d be good to share a win too.. i started working at a new place recently and i’ve made friends with basically all of my coworkers! in my “before” times i was a really social, like-able person even though i was dealing with other mental health issues (mostly c-ptsd). i didn’t think that would continue in my “after” era because i feel so empty and alone and scared of people, but i’m so happy that i got invited out with them for a second (!!) time tomorrow. i hope that, for all of us, at least some of the best parts of our “before” selves remain while we settle into our “after” selves. i’m so grateful that there’s still at least a fragment of who i used to be. and i think its the fragment that i was most proud of :) | ptsd |
And kids, that’s how I never received another text. 🙃 | depression |
I’m 25 years old now (f) and I remember at the age of when I first started taking showers I had to put a towel down on the shower floor and stand on it. I wouldn’t use a bath mat and if there was one in there I would put the towel over it. I would also put a towel over the mat you step onto outside of the shower that keeps the floor from getting wet. I also didn’t like carpets or upholstery. I’d always wear socks on carpets other than mine and fabric car seats always made me uneasy and feel grossed out. Another thing that made me think of posting was my fear of vomiting. I remember distinctly when that fear set in and it was in third grade when a kid puked right infront of me. I stayed home for 3 days scared that I was going to catch what he had and throw up. I remember avoiding my brother at all costs after he threw up and had anxiety about myself throwing up. I remember not eating red meat in fear of catching mad cow disease back when that was a thing. To this day I still find myself having anxiety about getting a stomach virus or food poising however vomiting from drinking too much or and I avoid certain foods like shrimp from popeyes or fish filet from mcdonald’s because i can’t trust it and always check to see if my food is cooked all the way through and have anxiety about it not. | OCD |
Hello I’m a 20 something male here. Recently I had been suffering from depression and anxiety for a couple of months. I also have adhd, but my psychiatrist wanted to treat the depression and anxiety first. Eventually I convinced him to put me on focolin (can’t spell sorry). He said that even with clients with adhd he gives them focolin as an adjunct to depression medicine. I just started today, but I feel a difference. It can still be hard for me to do one thing, pick a video to watch and all that, but I don’t feel the negative feelings that I had before. I feel oddly a bit my energies, confident, happy, like I want to do things. People say medicine isn’t magic and I’m of course gonna continue with therapy and other stuff, but like wow. Anyone else have this experience? | ADHD |
I have tried so many times and I still do not succeed, I always return to them, I want to quit, even weeks later I fall again, I do not like my body to suffer | depression |
TL;DR Parents don't listen and not feeling overwhelmingly connected or happy.
I might be psychic I told my friends the lovely conversation of "Your brain doesn't work like you think it does. Here's some ideas to help you" talk with my parents. In which I was told:
That I should use a planner and other organizational tools, remember to check them each morning and throughout the day and stick with it as a routine.
My memory isn't that bad and I should be able to retain it through lots of different study methods, practice and hard work.
My Vyvanse (which I'm not really sure is doing much) should be a tool to help me but not a crutch, not making and breaking my day if I don't take it.
They say "oh it's only 2 years of work before you can have your dream job" (After my last year of school I'm finishing now) I don't get how time works! I can't do that kind of forward thinking effectively and certainly not when I'm unfamiliar with the environment.
I tell them I can't work with tasks by breaking them down because it's a sign to my brain that the tasks aren't related to eachother and then decides that work is over once I finish that small task then 3 minutes later you get the advice "oh you just need to break it all down into small tasks. Whether that be 10, 20, 400 small tasks they're small it shouldn't be that hard. Like college just gotta buckle down for 2 years and you're good"
Top it off with:
We think you're really intelligent, certainly more than we were at your age you just need to apply yourself and get work done.
They dance around the idea that I have ADHD because I can't adequately explain what I feel or do because that's just normal I don't know what isn't and what others feel and I should feel. I have yet to hear one of them say anything about it in over 4 years of being diagnosed. Which I've come to find out a bit or so ago isn't how long it was. Grade 3! They knew when I was in grade 3, didn't believe it, didn't follow up because "We didn't want to pressure you or put labels on you because you seemed to be doing so well."
Because of them and their perfection seeking mentality I'm a high stress masking God who can't reveal who I really am or how I feel without being guilted into apologizing.
I just want to be happy again. There's a reason I spend less than 6 hours a week in their presence.
As for life: I'm not doing horribly in school, I got accepted to a very well accredited paramedic program which was my first choice but parents don't want me to accept the offer in case the slightly higher one I used to have as top choice accepts me.
Relationship with friends is nice but we don't see each other a lot and I don't talk a lot to them because I'm busy or just don't want to bum them out I've got nothing going on.
Had a girlfriend, that was confusing for a long time. Talked to her about a lot of different things for 8 months, hung out for a month before being official. Less than 30 seconds after she said she didn't want to be in a relationship again because her last ones ended so poorly she gave me my first kiss and whispered "Shit." So at that point onward we'd hang out for a 2 week period on weekends and whatever nights we were free then the next Monday or Tuesday she'd tell me "I had an awesome time but I'm not ready for another relationship yet sorry. It would be so amazing and feel so great to stay with you but it's not fair for you I can't give you enough time." This continued for about 2 or so months before she finally decided it was real and my dumbass who had accepted each rejection and just kept coming back when she called me just assumed it would be the same. It wasn't and I'm not sure if I'm happy or not about that. The good thing that came out of it was I'm better at guitar and singing now from all the sad songs.
So yeah that's a very brief summary of the last 2 months or so of my life.
I'm not sure what I'm expecting here maybe just some comfort or advice and suggestions.
Even if no one responds or sees this just having written it might help me.
If you read any or all of it and you've got something to say please share.
Thank you. | ADHD |
This is an expansion and further personalization of rant that came up in /r/college based on [an article that file structure is not a native skill](https://www.theverge.com/22684730/students-file-folder-directory-structure-education-gen-z) and its one of a million crystalizing moments of how I want to keep my life together but I'm not necessarily able to.
The realization is that I have 4 google accounts, a one-drive, two personal computers, and I have many many work computers I could use on a daily basis (sometimes for school work during a break) and its no wonder I have no idea where I saved this thing or that thing. I've always had a windows desktop, but my laptop of choice had been a Chromebook for years and years because it was cheap and I don't take care of my things. Chromebooks need a gmail account so I used a hobby account for a long time, but then decided I more professional email address and created a second one. As I cycled through chromebooks or had to do factory resets, I never really settled on one or the other as my default profile. Anything I wrote away from home at the time could be on either gmail account. Additionally, the default GoogleDoc system is made to fuck with my ADHD. Everything saves automatically with no real title and it sometimes saves documents you access from the internet to your document folder. So if I write a bunch of throw-away things its there... forever. If I start writing and give into distraction and just close the tab its there gumming up the works. Going on a DND character optimization rabbithole that basically will never amount to anything? Welp, I guess I'll stare at the 4e and 5e Monk Handbooks forever, maybe the Pathfinder one too. Luckily, I realized this when it was time to replace my most recent laptop and opted for windows computer because it works better and it's the neighborhood I know. Then when I started my new job, I created a profile specific to work (which is healthy for me) not realizing I would get one from work too plus the one drive and another email account to manage. Finally, there are a bunch of resources I use often enough I SHOULD bookmark them but I tend to realize too late to act and that need disappears probably never to be needed again.
That said, I think I know what to do next. I'm still going to have three google accounts. I know thats crazy given where I am, but I'm using them for bookmarks not google drive. I'm basically kicking google drive to the fucking curb unless absolutely necessary. Everything will be on the single OneDrive and saved locally at the source machine for the home computers. I'm going to implement a better file organization system (especially for classes), I've been doing better for the first part of this semester but I know FOR SURE I can do even better starting now. This is the time to make a frigging habit!
Classes will have separate enormous files for
* class and readings notes
* articles notes w/ quotations and a citation master list
* one file that includes every assignment's prompt as given to us by the teacher so I no longer have to navigate D2L
Further, I think I can actively download readings/research PDFs to keep in a central digital location. Talk to me again in 4 weeks to see if I keep it up but I'm hopeful I build the habit and reduce barriers for taking action on homework. Wish me luck! | ADHD |
I've been doing okay for the past little while. You know, OCD thoughts would come in, but I'd handle them well, move on.
​
I got reminded of some of my triggers and it was... triggering... so I thought I should still do some ERP. You know, to continue the work and all that.
​
When I did it, what I felt was very strange. There was a rush of emotion and I almost started crying. And then it just felt like too much and nothing at the same time. I hit myself with more triggers and then my head started to physically hurt. I can't fully describe what I was feeling. But I haven't been okay since.
​
I wish I hadn't done it, and just gone on the way I was. | OCD |
I feel absolutely disconnected from everyone around me. My family seems to hate me, and my friend acts disinterested in the things I have to say. Besides my one friend, I don’t have anyone else that likes me. I currently go to school and have a job, and no matter where I am I feel so out of place. It’s gotten to the point where I avoid going out of the house unless I absolutely have to. I don’t like being in public because I don’t feel like I belong. It’s almost embarrassing for me to be around others. When it comes to learning I try so much to do well but it’s hard for me to motivate myself to do it. I wish I cared about doing better in school but I don’t have anything to look forward to. It feels like everyday is the same and its so tiring. I don’t know if it’s my mind or what but it feels like no one ever wants to willingly reach out to me first. Almost no one talks to me during the school day. I see people all the time being able to easily connect with others and I just don’t understand why I cannot do the same. I almost feel like I don’t deserve to post on this subreddit either. Life feels pointless to me and I genuinely can’t remember the last time I was happy.
Anyways, I hope this makes sense to someone. | depression |
Ocd showed up in my life in 2014 and that was peak anxiety attack times. My emotionally abusive and neglectful alcoholic mother kicked me out of her home in the middle of the night in March. I’ve been in fight or flight since then. The past couple months I’ve been trying Zoloft for the intrusive thoughts about being a bad person and everything being my fault. Lately my intrusive thoughts have been revolving around my relationship with my boyfriend. (I moved in with him when my mom kicked me out) My boyfriend is the best person I’ve ever met but lately my brain has been playing tricks on me trying to make me believe he’s like my abusive high school ex. My boyfriend has Aspergers so he doesn’t react or respond the way people with aspergers would. Instead it’s been a blessing cuz he doesn’t pay much matter to my intrusive themes. But anywho the thoughts have been really bad I’ve been day dreaming like crazy and feeling like I can’t be myself I need to get safe. (I saw my mom on Jan 20 and have been triggered since). Tonight after having thoughts all day like this I broke down into a hyperventilating sob. I don’t want the reality my brain is trying to make me believe I’m terrified of my thoughts and the medicine is not helping. I also feel so alone. And I’m terrified I’ll scare my boyfriend and he’s my bestfriend. I hate that my thoughts are trying to make me believe he’s something he’s not and turn me into something I’m not. I just need help or someone to talk who can relate. I haven’t felt this bad in years and I’m terrified. | OCD |
**TRIGGER WARNING**
Like when i get upset from a flashback of my dad beating me or my rapist holding me down, i call myself worthless or a slut or even choke myself as "punishment". Does anyone else do something like that? | ptsd |
Whenever I feel really anxious I have those insane control crazes, I feel the urge to control literally everything, the way I talk, I move, I act, what I do, everything. I want to follow an impossibly difficult routine because I feel like I have to improve at something. I hate my life. | OCD |
The uncertainty is one of the worst features in my opinion. | ptsd |
I know reassurance isn't the most encouraged on this subreddit but what can I do instead because like I know if I were in that persons position I'd want reassurance but I get that it's not good so what are some alternatives? | OCD |
Howdy, Everyone! Happy Weekend. ☀️
Firstly, thank you to those people who reassured me about trying antidepressants. I have been on escitalopram since July, and the impact has been incredible! I've also been undertaking therapy (ERP), eating better, exercising more and meditating, so I can't be certain that it's just the antidepressants, but the improvement has been amazing. This time last year, I was so paralysed with fear that I couldn't get out of bed; when my partner wasn't home, I drove to my besties house to lay in her bed because I couldn't bear to be alone. I remember attending Christmas shows and not being able to remember how to smile or laugh, just wanting to melt into non-existence. I liked watching shows that featured really horrible people (e.g. Vikings) so that I could tell myself that 'at least I'm not as bad as them'.
Well, I'm feeling great now. I have bad moments/days of course, but I have a sense of hope and joy and I'm living my life pretty happily. I feel like I'm really good at managing my OCD. However, my therapist has suggested that taking the antidepressants may be a safety behaviour and that weening off will help me take full control of my life and management of my OCD. I completely see where she's coming from because, honestly, I'm terrified of tapering off the antidepressants and returning to the state I was in last year. In the same way, it took me weeks to stop carrying around my quetiapine for 'just in case', even though I had not used it in months.
I guess I'm looking for a discussion around the following:
\- Did you successfully come off antidepressants without relapsing into the depths of terror? Any tips?
\- What other safety behaviours exist that I may not have considered?
\- I am very pro taking antidepressants forever if that's what you need to get by. If I discover that this is what I need (coming off is not successful), how do I teach myself not to treat taking medication as a safety behaviour?
Any discussion around any of these concepts is very welcome, and I apologise if I got anything wrong - I'm very much still learning!
Thanks :) | OCD |
First, let me start by saying that getting my diagnosis was an absolute game-changer. It’s so refreshing to be able to think, “we have to do laundry,” and then be able to, y’know, actually do it.
Another unexpected benefit was emotional clarity. I didn’t realize how my inability to order my thoughts was negatively impacting my ability to make sense of my experience and express my feelings.
And there were so many other benefits.
All of that to say, getting diagnosed and medicated have been immensely helpful.
But lately I’ve been worried that a stimulant has been too strong. It’s almost worked too well. Switching tasks has been difficult. I’ve felt over stimulated at times. Unable to eat.
So I asked my doc for something slightly less strong. She recommended Strattera and I’ll be making the switch.
I’m excited but also a little nervous. I’ve come to associate that stimulated feeling with the medication “working.”
I guess I’d like to know what the differences are between the two + what your experience was if you made this switch.
Just trying to get a sense of what to expect.
Appreciate y’all! This community is amazing. | ADHD |
i can’t focus this is so hard. i’m like begging my brain to be focused but it’s not working. i need to do some research it’s super important it’s literally me deciding what i’m gonna do for the next 4 years of my life. why can’t i focus. i have to make the decision for my university courses in ONE MONTH. why can’t i just concentrate this sucks. i’m gonna take a 5 min break and try again. why can’t i just not procrastinate for like once in my entire life. i’m so stressed out idk what course to pick there’s so many | ADHD |
I started exploring an ASD diagnosis over a year ago. I test within the ASD range on all the online tests I’ve taken. I went to a RNP who agreed and said that she thinks I also have ADHD. Right now I’m really struggling in college. I want to be a doctor or get my PHD but I’m struggling to make connections with people. I also am struggling to go out and volunteer/get clinical experience since those things are infinitely more challenging for me then they are for a neurotypical person. There’s anxiety associated with every tiny social interaction for me, even when I find those interactions rewarding. I have a 4.0 which is great, but since I am struggling to get volunteer hours and clinical experience, I’m getting left behind. I’m seeing a therapist for all this but it’s slow going. My therapist thinks that I have ADHD with Autistic traits, along with the Anxiety and Depression. I should also mention that my mom is an elementary school principal. She thinks that I am on the spectrum with Add and anxiety. Even though I know that I have all these setbacks, I have no official documentation (or official diagnosis) in my possession about them. I just got turned down from one program that coaches you through doing research and the med school application process. (Probably because I am a junior with no volunteer experience) Considering that there are other programs I want to apply for, should I get more official testing/documentation? Would that open more doors for me as I try to apply to internships/grad school? I’d appreciate any advice/antecdotes/encouragement would be appreciated. Thanks. | aspergers |
I've been depressed the whole year, I don't know what to do. It all started a year ago when my girlfriend broke up with me, that was a huge bomb because we've been dating for 4 years and then she just leaves, then in February my grandfather died of covid. I had not recovered from my brake up when covid took my grandfather. It's just insane how these things can happen and I don't know how to handle it, I can't recover from these events. And now I feel like everything was my fault. If only I had payed more attention to my relationship she would be with me and maybe if only I had more money I could have saved my grandfather | depression |
going to try writing a story about my theme. scared af. i sort of have a backup plan in case i spiral/ have a real bad panic attack. mainly just posting here for accountability. | OCD |
I am going to be talking my doctor at my next appointment but wanted to post here to see if anyone has a similar predicament.
I work in the IT field and currently feel that if I can’t master all the skills of the field then I fundamentally feel incomplete and unhappy. It’s making me miserable and causes immense anxiety if I ever get stuck at work on a task or don’t know something.
If I get stuck I will ruminate and feel anxiety hundreds to thousands of times per hour and day. It totally dominates my life if I’m stuck but I feel okay if I’m not.
When I’m not stuck I’m constantly thinking about how I can learn and master all the IT skills and learn programming because if I can then this worrying will go away. It’s basically an impossible task since no one can master all these tools and skills.
It drives me insane to the point of wanting to quit my high six figure job and just stock shelves at Walmart where I will
Never be faced with having to master programming or learn complex software.
I don’t know what to do in the meantime and just curious if anyone had any ocd like this | OCD |
I'm going through a rough breakup and I lost my health insurance unexpectedly. I qualify for Medicaid but my NP doesn't accept it.
I have a prescription for Vyvanse waiting at the pharmacy but I just found out that it's not covered by Medicaid. It costs $360 without insurance. I literally have one pill left and that's it.
I found an office that will take my insurance but their soonest available appointment is November 10th. I can't even get in contact with my old office because they're closed for the weekend.
​
Sooo what do I do? I can technically afford the out-of-pocket cost but it would really screw me I don't have a lot of money right now. Do I try and split my pill over the weekend and call the NP first thing Monday morning? (Worth noting my insurance covers Adderall and Ritalin, literally only doesn't cover Vyvanse)
​
TLDR: Out of meds, can't afford new ones. Cant call office till Monday. What do? | ADHD |
So, I’m traveling to Canada from Finland for exchange studies, and I’ll be staying for five months. I have just one problem; I don’t know where to find information about my medication, and is it legal there! The embassy of Finland in Ottawa has been a total waste of time. The University I’m going to doesn’t know anything. Even Google doesn’t seem to know anything about bringing ADHD medication outside of the EU area. I’m losing my mind here!
So, does anyone know is Methylphenidate Mylan legal to bring with me?
And if it is not, pray for me 😐 | ADHD |
After my recent MVA, I find myself wanting to actively talk about it, I don’t remember it all and I find it therapeutic to put together in my head.
I feel like it should trigger me but for some reason it makes me calm trying to think it through, minute by minute. Only problem is I don’t have anyone to talk through it with; my friends and family get really upset when I talk about it and I feel bad and shut up. And i have a great trauma therapist but it’s not like I can talk just 24/7 about every detail I remember with her.
Makes me feel frustrated bcus I get a sense of control back when I remember things about it, like I wasn’t just a pawn to natures will??? Idk, just wondering if anyone else feels like this, it’s frustrating but I understand where my peers are coming from. | ptsd |
Hello, I am a 21 year old girl and I have been dealing with a lot of negative emotions for the past 6 years of my life. I come from a very open and supportive family so when I first started feeling like that my parents tried to help me but it felt like the conclusion they reached was always puberty. I can see myself getting worse every day. Ever since the age of 4 I have been struggling to lose weight with diets and nutritionists, since I was always an overweight child. Now I have reached a weight that is healthy but still overweight (I am 5'3 and 95kg). However it is affecting my life a lot. I have lost interest in things that make me happy and I feel comfortable only inside my house.
Logically I know that what I am feeling is ridiculous but I cant stop my thoughts from appearing out of nowhere. I have stopped going out of my house as often because I am embarrassed of the way that I look and I feel like everyone is judging me. Also I am finding it difficult to make new friends in my course because I think that they will judge me for my body. I love cooking but I never tell people since I am scared that they will think "ah thats why she is fat", which is the same reason why I never eat big portions when I am out with people. I have always had issues with my weight but I reached a point in my life where it affects my daily life.
I am always trying to lose weight by dieting but I am just so sick of it. I have never been able to eat whatever I want whenever I want. I always have to be careful carbs, fat, sugar, calories etc. And every time I let go and eat whatever I want, I feel guilty about it and it affects my mood dramatically. I am not strong enough to make myself puke or take laxatives, I just beat myself up mentally. But the thing that angers me the most is the fat-phobia that I have developed. I hate myself for having negatives thoughts about other people that are not skinny, and I know that it comes from the hate that I have for my own body.
I just wanted to talk about this without having to discuss it with anyone that knows me, so thank you for reading this. | depression |
How do you tell the difference?
After years of diagnosis from rapid cycling bipolar to depression to anxiety to ADHD, multiple therapists and an inpatient visit- and finally a full neuropsychological evaluation: I have been diagnosed with PTSD and everything makes sense.
I can see all my triggers now for what they are.
But I am starting to wonder in my relationship if we are truly not working or I am giving into my triggers, disassociating and pulling away. I only think negative things about him and I go back and forth multiple times a day trying to convince myself why I am with him. When it comes to us breaking up which we've been talking about because I am starting arguments and not happy enough with him.. my heart hurts so bad. I want it to work. But it's like I've convinced myself it won't. And I don't know if I really believe that or if it's because I'm scared to be hurt.
I hope this makes sense to someone. | ptsd |
So I was waiting for my schools shuttle bus today to go back to my apartment when an old man who was hard of hearing and speaking ask me for which bus to go on. I’ve only been here for a few months and don’t know much about routes except mine. I had no idea where he wanted to go so I told him which bus mine was. Based on his reaction I thought it was the one he wanted to. I said where the bus was going a few time and when the bus driver came he also said it twice.
A few min to my stop and the old man asks me if it’s going to ___. I proceeded to tell him again where’s it going and apparently its not the right bus to be on. The bus driver ended up helping us and telling him to stay on the Bus till they get back to the school so he can help him. I left at my stop and waved bye and he waved back. I didn’t even apologize bc I didn’t think he would hear me.
Now I feel incredibly guilty that I made him get on the wrong bus and possibly made him miss. My route is only around 10 min total but I can’t help but feel that I made him worse off and that I’m the cause If he gets lost or hurt. Or if he makes it home he’ll tell his family that some girl purposely made him get on the wrong bus and they’ll hate me. I feel horrible and evil.
My OCD I’ve realized revolves entirely around people and their perception and thoughts of me. I just don’t want people to think less of me or that I’m a bad person because of my actions. | OCD |
Note: This is just me venting because I think there are people on here that may relate and I want to hear about other people's experiences. I have a health care team, I have been diagnosed with all the things, I have a therapist, and medication, and will bring this up to my doctors, etc, etc.
ADHD and Depression have a good amount of symptoms in common. And it is extremely hard to tell what is causing what.
Did I not cook because I didn't to the prep work needed to make the task more executive function friendly or because I lost my appetite because of depression. Or was it the new medication that caused me to lose my appetite? I can't really remember bc of poor working memory though. Or is that because I have been depressed for weeks and I feel like a zombie? Or maybe I just need to change my dose on the Ritalin? Or maybe I need more antidepressants? Etc. etc...
You can only play with one medication at a time, but it's seeming like I'm gonna have to adjust all of my meds very soon.
Point is, I can't tell what is up, down, left or right right now. Too many variables. How to people deal with this? It's basically all up to me to fix it, bc a psych can only really respond to what I tell them ya know? And this is my fourth psych in the year I'm tired lol.
I only realized I had ADHD a couple of months ago and I have been in and out of major depressive episodes for over a decade (I'm 24 now). So I honestly couldn't tell you what a good baseline would even be.
Overall, treating all of this stuff at once (PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, and now ADHD) has really made me confused. At least now I know that I have to make an attempt to treat them ALL at once though. Idk what that looks like, but I'll figure it out. | ADHD |
It is humming at around 400hz. It seems to have gotten quieter as time goes on. If this persists I'm going to get a halogen one this weekend. I've never noticed this in other LED lights before. | aspergers |
my parents and me both think i have it, i have these thoughts which are so so so bad and i hate it and it's lead me down so many bad holes and episodes where i think i'm this horrible person and i hate the thoughts and what's in them and how it makes me feel and makes me think i'm something also does anyone have any tips to stop thinking about the thoughts or get them to fuck off as i literally have them like all day plz?????? | OCD |
Not sure where to go with this but, my gf(21f), just passed the two year anniversary of when she died and was brought back in the hospital. She’s been struggling a bit with the experience since, and we’ve been talking about it and we believe the best thing for her would be to talk to someone who’s had a similar experience. She is aware I am looking for someone to talk to for her, if this is the wrong sub, please direct me elsewhere. | ptsd |
I feel like I’ll never be generally loved or appreciated for who I am, I’m so lonley man, everyday is so hard I’m struggling to make it through. I want these feelings to go away, I understand that it’s a state of mind that I gotta get out of but it feels like it’s no way out and this constant suffering becomes to much.
When I’m in a state where suicide feels like the best option for me. I’ve called the hotline but guess what they don’t give a fuck no one fucking does, they legit asked me if I was a tea or coffee drinker CUNT IM CALLING YOU SAYING I HAVE A SUICIDE PLAN. Constant social rejection, constant giving to others but receiving nothing back I’m done.
But I’ll say this if you’re feeling the same I’d hug the shit out of you, you deserve so much better and don’t let any mofo tell you otherwise. | depression |
Basically i dont know any autistic people, and I think it would be cool to find some in my area, but I dont have any idea where to look
Most of what I find is for children | aspergers |
Feeling a little bit stuck here, I’m from little old New Zealand. 23M. I have recently been diagnosed by my doctor with anxiety and depression, however I have a feeling there’s something a little more going on. I have struggle with my focus for the majority of my life and have some hallmark symptoms of adhd.
Symptoms I have been displaying lately such as impulsiveness to do anything that gives me a dopamine hit, leaving cabinets open, forgetting things such as if I’ve turned the frypan off or locked my car to the point where I’m panicky and have to check. I consistently interrupt conversations all the time and can’t hold down a hobby to save myself. I get really excited to do things and then spend lots of money on the things to do it and then within weeks lose all interest in it and move onto another thing. My house and car is constantly messy but I always put it off, even when it’s staring at me and I have the time. I binge spend and binge eat. And most scary of all I consistently drive multiple blocks away on autopilot without even realising that I’m in another world.
My doctor however is reluctant to refer me to a psychiatrist as I was never diagnosed when I was a child. I was never great at school however. Has anyone here had much luck being diagnosed as an adult? | ADHD |
I can't sleep unless I take my prescribed sleeping pills which feel SO FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HOW DROWSY IT MAKES ME FEEL AND I DONT HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE HOURS OF PAIN OF the brain racing
And then comes the mornings. With or without the sleeping pills. I'm 23F and for 23 years I've struggled with this. I have a cat that meows and bites me until I wake up, but I'm still not AWAKE. I play with him for about 10 minutes and go back to sleep. In thise 10 minutes I may or may not do things that can wake me up more. Like splash water in my eyes and find some chores to do. I find myself back in my bed in no time. Almost like there's no point in life so what am I going to achieve by waking up at 6am, as opposed to 10am. (Which is pathetic because I need to be at work at 10:30 and I wake up at 10am????)
Then I wake up hours later with guilt and anger and irritability and it ruins my day. Almost like I'm starting my day as a failure. | ADHD |
One of my best friends overdosed 2 years ago. He was trying to reach out to me before he went. I was busy with life and responsibilities.. I wasnt there for him. I just woke up in tears after having a dream where he called me. He said, "Where were you bro"? "I needed a friend". What do I even say to that. How can I even feel right now. I've never blamed myself for what happened to you so why? Why now? I'm so sorry man. I've got alot in life eating me up inside. I wish this didnt have to add onto it. I'll never be able to take back the times I blew you off and left you alone in that house surrounded by bad choices. I'm feeling as hopeless as you did back then. Life is spiralling and I'm sick of living with these emotions. | depression |
I have been oversharing with my fellow students that my boyfriend and I think about getting married. But I realized afterward that even though we talk about it, its still further down the line...
I have also had an outburst to one professor in front of the class. I kind of stand by what I Said, but did not intend for it to sound so angry and frustrated. I said that I was sorry to the professor after class. She wasnt too bothered by it.
But I feel ashamed, and dont want to show my face in class again monday. And I wish I could just hold back and think more before I speak
Basically I feel shitty, and just seeking empathy for this | ADHD |
I need to get my brother out of the house, for anything he hasnt been outside for a few months now, he refuses to do anything, he is 32, and im a bit worried and frustrated. Im out of ideas tbh | depression |
So I was in an abusive relationship for a few years and left a few years ago. I really thought I was doing so much better because I had stopped crying every night over it but hooooo boi.
This guy I know has admitted strong feelings for me and I am getting I guess "triggered" over and over.
I don't like it when he compliments me because I fear its love bombing, I imagine us getting into arguments and he hurts me, the idea of being vulnerable and open with him induces panic attacks.
I'm constantly wondering when will he snap, when will have I said no once too many, what can he use against me if I make him angry.
Someone I have messaged back and forth a few times talking about random stuff made a random sexual comment out of the blue on a post I made and I felt uncomfortable but the guy who likes me screenshot it and asks me what it's about and omg I was freaking out inside, what if thinks I'm talking to loads of other guys, I feel like I'm cheating and we're not even a couple or dating.
I am so scared | ptsd |
I’m still trying to understand ocd, I only got diagnosed recently tho I think I’ve had it most of my life. I think of ocd as mainly focused on obsessions, but avoiding feeling the ocd Terrible Feeling is just as big as the obsessions | OCD |
Title. I’m a 19 year old college sophomore. For a while now, I’ve been struggling with adhd, anxiety, and depression, and I’ve been thinking about getting a companion animal to help. I grew up with my two beagles at home, and I think I underestimated how much of an impact they had. I also got gerbils early this semester and missed them after I brought them home (I gave them to my brother because another pet of his died). So I think an animal could really help as a companion.
I’ve been thinking about getting a cat as an esa, but I’m aware of the many objections to college students getting cats. Fortunately the costs aren’t an issue for me, and my parents are on board, but I’m aware of the others. I will be moving between home and school (2 hr drive each way), and it would have to live in a dorm for one semester max. Thankfully, there are pet friendly apartments near school. I’m aware a cat is a long term commitment, but honestly I’m looking for more of a long-term companion. What do? | ADHD |
I have a whole two friends who really know me, (C)PTSD, past, triggers, everything. One of them misread my anxiety induced triggers so badly that he literally picked me up by my forearms and physically walked me several steps with my feet off the ground before putting me down. Also screamed at me while I was standing in the middle of the porch trying to figure out why everyone was yelling at me and what I did that was so wrong. Night ended with the police being called on me, and after waiting quietly in my vehicle off their property, being misread again by the cop who put me down on the ground in cuffs in front of my panicking kids while I tried to follow his instructions. Then told my kids I was intoxicated. Asked me if I was using meth or coke. WHY CAN NO ONE UNDERSTAND HOW MY BRAIN AND BODY SHUT DOWN, REACT, AND FAIL ME, WHEN TRIGGERED??? How am I supposed to live ... afraid every damn day of being misread and knowing now how quickly it can go bad. I just can't... I couldn't even get out of bed for a week... never even changed my clothes or even took the boots off my feet. I felt accomplished when I brushed my teeth, five days later. I DID MY BEST. I GAVE ALL I HAD TO GIVE. And I messed up so badly it was all blamed on me. | ptsd |
Seriously tho so done rn in so sad and angry at same time. Miss my wife but feeling not mutual and trust was obliterated completely now she trying to make me suffer more like tf what I do after the fact. Wasn’t me. U know that. But anyway I’ll always live u some kinda way. Gonna kill all social media tonrow I just need to get on grind time. But I’m sabotaging myself. I’m just a dirtbag fr tho. Fuck it. | depression |
I want to learn in a comfortable efficient way: one step at a time until I get it right, remember it long term and are a total master in it.
College however wants too much done at once. So, I cannot really learn in a good way. It has to be done fast, because there are tests and deadlines. So, I learn with great stress and afterwards I don't remember much. My brain seems to erase the information because I didn't get the time and space to store the information long-term.
How do you really learn stuff if they don't give you the room for it? They don't even give me a lot of room to relax. Sometimes there is even work in the weekends. | aspergers |
Yes it's another one of these "painfully lonely and yet don't want to be that way for entire life" threads. Sorry. But anyway. Over the years I've had dozens of suggestions given to me, and I'm ashamed to say that still, I have hardly found any suggestion about "find partner" viable.
Nowadays when I ask for help on this, folks just stop replying quickly, possibly because they realize I'm that cynical guy who can't take action... but more likely because I have to mention that I'm now far from young, and yet still have no status. Along with modest looks and average height, it adds up, I guess.
In any event, let me explain why I've not used the suggested advice, and if you still think you can demonstrate a reason to "try something anyway," fair enough.
1. For advice from folks in autistic reddits, it's usually given by well-credentialed/career men. They tend to use their own 'dating' success story as the basis for the advice. The thing is, even without specifying, that success is borne from their advantage. Which I don't have.
2. Regarding advice given from forums that center more on 'dating,' the advice is usually given by self-proclaimed tall, attractive, or otherwise quick-witted social NTs. I am not any of this, either.
3. Sometimes there is advice given from a demographic I can relate to. They're 30+, awkward, underemployed, and so on, and still claim to have/had partner. However, there is a key difference I usually have from such individuals. They tend to be pro-social and somehow lack rejection-sensitivity. But I've long been misanthropic and one of my core traits is hatred of rejection and being left out. Ridicule and humiliation is the worst. Anything that can lead to this, I need to avoid.
4. Perhaps connected to the latter, I have bigly dislike for the system. I don't accept rules to the Game, largely because those rules have always painted me as "lesser." So any time there's a suggestion, I tend to dismiss it, because I already know the flaws. A good example is when someone says "join a meetup, it's a good place to find partner", I already know that's absurd. Because it's about group-dynamics, which tends to be a shallow, exclusionary system. Just another strand of that same cloth. I guess an autistic guy could be respected there even without social grace, but he'd have to compensate by having a shared experience (defined by playing a role in society, as expected for age group.) I don't even have that, you see.
5. Online dating? Simply, it's the worst of all options. Without a lot of indignation, I would not be able to say anything more about it. I don't think anyone needs more of that, though.
6. Yes there is that "other option" and I said many more times than I'd like, I don't agree with that, as it's not for me.
I know most folks won't bother anymore, but for those who still think there might be some chance, with much of my explanation being "depressive-realist distortion" or an attitude problem, please provide some justification. | aspergers |
TW: Self-Harm
Hi everyone,
After last year's BLM and protests in my own home country a bit earlier, I have had just the worst reaction to anything political. I find myself making everything political and putting myself as the villain of that story. I hate to be asked to not do a thing and I have lost all empathy because to be told not to makes me ruminated everything about it and how wrong whatever I did was. I cannot stop, AT ALL. I feel just the worst. Terms like Abolition trigger me to hell, and anything that seems against the motifs of groups I think of as oppressed makes me wanna k\*\*\* myself. I ruminated over my arm and think of how I should cut it and all. I find it incredibly difficult to function despite being in therapy. I am in constant fear that I am making things worse for people and that I cannot do anything. Any job or anything would mean that I will oppress somebody. I just hate it all. I cannot function, despite reducing my work load for college so that I can have more time thinking about this. I absolutely hate everything about this, I HATE IT! | OCD |
**EDIT:** Ahhh omg! My first Reddit award 🥺!! After I posted this I had the usual PTSD self-doubt, worrying that y'all wouldn't understand, but of course YOU UNDERSTAND IT MORE THAN ANYONE!! I will be posting more here and hope to keep swapping stories and inspiration with everyone in this sub :)
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I have PTSD from an abusive relationship I had when I was 14-18 years old. I also have anxiety, OCD/dermatillomania, depression, and chronic pain.
I come from a family of entrepreneurs and was raised to be one. I have dabbled in a few different industries, spent a lot of time helping create and run newer nonprofits and community orgs. Now I'm working for a small tech company as a partner and I manage all my own clients, customer service, website, etc.
A couple years ago, I decided I really wanted to start my own business from the ground up, by myself. There was a few different reasons, mainly being that I wanted more freedom and ability to creative (my current work is monotonous as hell). Once I started digging further, I realized that I also wanted the freedom to live by my own schedule, and once I figured out why, it all came back to my PTSD.
As I'm sure you all know, there are days, weeks, months that are difficult to work through. Especially when you're in a company with strict attendance requirements or customer/client service. Even though I run my own stuff at my current day job, there is no flexibility when it comes to taking long breaks or avoiding customers. This can be really tricky to manage with PTSD :(
I faced a lot of discouragement when I started exploring options for businesses that I could run myself **that would also allow time for rest and recovery.** Everyone kept saying to me that "making it" would be impossible, too stressful, too much time, too much energy. But stubborn and determined like I always am, I kept researching a business model that I could gel with.
I paid for a lot of online courses and listened to a lot of "experts" who really believe they have the answer. I will admit that the haters were a little bit correct in that pursuing entrepreneurship is an energy drainer. BUT!! Through all the classes and mentorships, I learned one big fat lesson about running your own business - you have to deeply know yourself to be a successful entrepreneur. (I know everyone here struggles with knowing who your "true" self is... I know I do... so this lesson hit me HARD).
Why do you have to know yourself? Well, a million reasons. But the top ones - 1. You have to pick what your business is about, and in order to do that, you have to know what you like and don't like (not so easy for us w/ PTSD!!) and 2. You have to understand how you get shit done the best! Instead of following someone else's schedule and guidelines, you really have to craft your own, and in order to do that you have to kind of "study" yourself.
I did a lot of work and exercises related to this all in hopes of becoming a successful entrepreneur. And I realized that **a lot of that work was helping with my PTSD recovery, too.**
Anytime I disregarded my own ideas and tried someone else's because they were more successful etc., I would fail. Then I would stay true to who I am, the way I work, what I care about... and that's what worked.
Am I saying that entrepreneurship cures PTSD? Lol. Hell no. Is it a replacement for therapy and other forms of recovery? No.
BUT! As someone who has had a dream of being a successful entrepreneur my whole life - I really really really wish someone would've told me **all the healing and positive parts of having PTSD and running my own biz.** Instead of just throwing discouragement at me.
I could talk about this forever... I know this is a long post, but I wanted to share in case anyone else on here has **ever felt discouraged from pursuing self-driven or creative work.** You don't have to sit in an office all day and play by the rules. You also don't have to work a million hours and stress yourself into panic attacks. You can pursue what you want with self-care and your PTSD does NOT make it impossible. In fact, sometimes I think the resilience and stamina I have because of my PTSD *actually helps me*.
I'd be curious to hear anyone else's thoughts on careers and running a business and how their PTSD helps or hurts. Thanks for listening, I love lurking this sub and this is my first post :) | ptsd |
In the past years, I've needed to drink to get through the first few hours and hide from the world and not speak to anyone. When it all happened, the idea of being able to go a day without thinking about what happened or being aware of how it impacted how I was was completely alien, and I couldn't understand why people said you would adjust to living with it.
It's been an uphill struggle, and there were times when I couldn't see a way out and didn't plan on being alive today. Some days it's the little things that can knock the stuffing out of you, but there are days when you feel like you can move mountains, and I'm glad I am stronger now.
After years of therapy and EMDR, we have finally covered the initial trauma and then the subsequent court case and some other issues surrounding what happened and the responses of those around me. I've gone from 1-2 sessions with a therapist a week, to now 1 a month. There are still tough days, but the emotions around it aren't as overpowering and I feel more like myself then I have done in years.
Kinda proud of myself. | ptsd |
SHORT
TRIGGER WARNING
Soon came the night before I was supposed to leave. The homophobic director invited my mom in and said she couldn’t remove me from St. Rose. I was doing well there according to him. However she reminded him of the abuse, to which he completely denied there had been any.
He then stated in a semi angry tone that my parents had no rights to remove me. I know the grant money he was getting for me couldn’t stop. The residential made it clear that the grant money mattered. Most girls didn’t bring in as much money as E and I because the state government paid for them. E and I couldn’t do that because we’re both from Illinois, and the residential is in Wisconsin.
My mom, so sick of the abuse and bullshit, told that hateful man she’d contact every news outlet to tell them her daughter was being held against her and her parents will. “I will contact every paper and every news station and tell them you’re not allowing my daughter to be removed.” His threats stopped then.
The next day it felt unreal. My dad and Cynthia were in her office. The woman who’d lied and said my parents abused me, while the only abuse happening was by her. She gave my dad a survey about our “services” provided by the staff. She said he could just send it. We both know it’d be shredded anyway.
Instead of telling that monster how she fucked me up, and calling her every bad name under the sun ... I wussed out and just ran out. I feel like a coward for not setting her straight.
After I left E became her new target. This is news I’ve only found out in the past year. My dad and her mom stayed close because of the abuse.
E ran away, and was brought back. Her mother removed her from there. | ptsd |
Hey everyone
I don’t want reassurance per se (but I probably wouldn’t mind haha) I am more so looking for ways to apply my OCD acceptance techniques to a particular fear.
Without getting into too much detail
I’m afraid of going to Hell for doing a particular action 6 times(and it’s not just anything, it’s literally only about this very one specific thing I do if I happen to do 6 times by chance) in a single day. (Without doing a ritual to “fix it”)
My question is: do you have varying levels of difficulty accepting your OCD thoughts and fears ?
I’ve gotten a lot better over the last few years. I now accept my uncertainty around some real life fears of certain illnesses etc.
But Hell seems so big and abstract. I don’t know anything about what happens when we die and I don’t think any of us can be certain
So how can I accept a fear that:
- I can’t do ERP and wait it out. Usually I can expose myself to the fear and see nothing bad happened. But with this I wouldn’t know till I die.
-is not based in tangible reality . There is really no way to see or know it’s not true
And lastly
The punishment seems worse than my previous obsessions
I have accepted uncertainty that I may get sick, or lose a job, or other real things
But how can I even accept a 1% chance of hell?
Also: if it helps at all I am not religious and do not believe in hell in my non OCD thinking. But even if I’m 99% sure . That 1% of something that is eternal just seems hard to accept | OCD |
It doesn't matter how good the experience is, it doesn't matter who it's with, it's completely anxiety inducing and on some level retraumatizing. I don't know if I'm moving too quick and scaring myself or what. | ptsd |
It’s small and not deep just to test the waters… the issue is I really want to do it again. And make it bigger and deeper and more painful. I know it’s bad and will only lead me down a bad path but I don’t know why I want to so bad. I need help. | depression |
I do not practice manifestation (at least not mindfully), and I am not here to diss or shame it either. But the phrase “your thoughts become your reality” is definitely detrimental. Thats the *last* thing anyone struggling with OCD wants to hear.
Well, I need to face my fears. I used to be so brave as a little girl. You tell me to jump off a 60ft cliff, I’d do it. Walk in a dark forest to find a puppy? I wouldn’t even think twice. I would be scared, sure, but I went in confidently. That has all been destroyed by abuse and this overactive mind.
For some reason, I keep having this obsessive thought that my fears *will* come true if I even acknowledge them. But I know once I do, I will feel okay. Worst case scenario, is nothing! Because none of them are real, but it’s hard to not feel that way.
Do any of you have similar experiences to this? How did you overcome it? I am not looking to distract and hide from myself any longer. I know I can do this, it is the best course of action. All I have to do is sit there and just let it flow, but that fear it’ll become real is just too intense sometimes. | OCD |
TLDR at the bottom.
Me (M29) and my fiancé (23M) have been together for 3 and a half years. I have C-ptsd and I currently also have therapy for that. I just notice how much I am getting worse and worse. I see my partner just suffer through it all. Even if he is super understanding .. hell he's probably the most understanding and helpful person I've had in my life. But goddamn fuck this PTSD crap. Every single problem that arises always has to do with my PTSD.
I can't go and do fun things like other couples can. So we rarely go on dates. I am always busy trying to calm my brain.. like CONSTANTLY. There isn't a moment in my day when I am not trying to do brain training to keep myself from hurling into severe dissasociation. Sometimes I suddenly snap out of it and realise I don't remember the past few hours or I even miss complete days. I am more stuck in my own head than I am in "the real world". Which causes me to neglect everything else around me. Even myself. Like I forget to shower or to eat.. things like that.
I feel like a gigantic baby sometimes because my fiancé needs to take care of me so much since I am mentally unable to so myself. I really hate it... of course I am working on it in therapy but it doesn't instantly change. It might also never change at all! I just see him suffer because of it.
I hate having PTSD.. my brain nevers rests. Everything is always scary or connected to fear. And if it aint that I am just dissasociating , hallucinating or just sitting there having an axiety attacks that sometimes turn so bad that my fiancé has to stop me to from hurting myself fatally. It isn't fair for him... but he says it is fine and that he loves me too much to give up on me and that he wants to marry me still and all. I just care too much about him to see him suffer from my bullshit.
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TLDR;
The symptomes of my PTSD are so bad that my partner is suffering from them as well since he always needs to take care of me. He says it is fine because he loves me but I feel bad for him.
Sorry for the wall of text... any other people having experience with relationships and their PTSD or perhaps anyone that has a relationship with someone that has PTSD? | ptsd |
For anyone else has doing covid testing become a compulsion every time you feel a slight possible covid symptoms or is it just me. I am so drained :( | OCD |
I have not been having ocd type thoughts recently. My brain has been using that and telling me that it’s because I don’t have ocd or anything like it, but that I have been faking it all along and my brain is telling me the truth. I haven’t been diagnosed, but I am scared that my brain has been telling me the truth. Please help. | OCD |
i did some work a few months ago on this, but it's back and it's just as upsetting as it was before. last year, i had an allergic reaction that scared me and has caused so much PTSD. i was convinced i was going to die, my boyfriend says i wasn't in any danger but it felt so real. i can't eat so many things now because of it, even things i've eaten before because i had been eating stuff i ate before when it happened. i don't know what to do about it anymore. i don't want to go through that ever again but i want to enjoy foods again.
is there anyone who just has some advice for me? anyone who has been through similar and started walking out of it and got better? i feel so closed in. | ptsd |
Hey,
ever since i was young i have been dealing with depression periodically and anxiety, social anxiety etc. It was only recently that i started to think that i might have ADD and that it could trigger these things perhaps.
Again, ever since i was a kid i have always fantasized about doing a lot of things but time just seems to pass without me doing very much. The few things i actually take action on and start, i never manage to stick with, i get bored or i just...loose myself and start binging on the internet and snacks and porn. I seem to always crave stimulation from things, caffeine, nicotine, even when its clearly affecting me negatively but i feel like i just need something.
The only things that work for me consistently is exercise, it makes me feel good, or hiking and the like. I started wondering when i found myself always over scheduling but getting nothing done, procrastinating everything as much as i can, can't study for shit. Well sometimes i can do my university work and i get better at it if i force myself to try to focus for longer periods but its a drag.
I'm also almost always tired, i have really low energy reserves or feel like i get overwhelmed easily, like from spending 5 hours in school. Usually i feel little pleasure in doing stuff that i know that i want to do, like study, learn to play music or things that takes a lot of goal orientation.
I find myself making long reading lists because when optimism and energy strikes i want to learn everything and i borrow 5 books at the same time from the library without ever finishing one.
Socializing makes me fatigued and so does everything else it seems haha.
However i can usually manage things that i really need to do, like if i take a university class and i have to attend and i have deadlines i'll usually do it.
I'm just tired of feeling like i never act or follow through with any of my ideal life fantazies about stuff i'd like to do and be good at. I feel like im behind in life and that i haven't done much of anything at 27 years old but fuck around and barely make it through a couple of different university courses but i never stick with anything.
Not sure if anyone will read this and i don't remember everything i'd like to say here and now. I'm currently at a library and i need to get stuff done. I can usually do stuff, but it's the bare minimum and i keep dragging my feet. idk. I also often feel empty. I like doing nothing but at the same time it makes me feel bad and i would like to do and feel excited about doing stuff.
If anyone reads this, could this be ADD maybe? I always just thought i had depression and anxiety but it always comes periodically. I'm currently waiting on a specialist team to give me a diagnosis and CBT and i thought id bring this up with them....
EDIT: Oh and also my sister has autism, my brother has ADHD and my mom is chronically depressed. Also im a 27 year old male. | ADHD |
A little bit of background on me:
My life is a mess without meds. I’m a 5th year student in undergrad that has 3 more semesters to graduate. I have been taking 3 kind of medications (vyvanse, Ritalin, address) since I was around 10 years old and I’m now 23. I abused vyvanse before and had a stroke as well and now I am struggling with continence because of it. I also have been smoking bud while using medication for about 4 years straight until present day. I don’t really have any routine and anytime I start one, it ends up in shambles after a month or few weeks. The one thing I keep up very well is exercising consistently 4-6 days a week. I also obsess very easily over things I like, for example: I can play guitar for 5-8 hours straight playing the same thing. It’s a problem for me because I don’t do productive things due to the urge to just play guitar.
My big question and advice I want is...
How do I get off meds once and for all for the sake of my health. How do I study without feeling like I’m going insane when sober. How do I stop thinking repeated thoughts that go nowhere (thought repetition). I feel like I can’t get off meds otherwise ima fail. I’ve tried doing work without it and it’s just not possible.
I understand the practice of meditating and note takin, but I really want to just know is it possible for someone like with adhd to ever sit still like a normal person. Can I increases my willpower to be far more productive and disciplined? It just really feels like it’s impossible. I’ve made so many attempts and will forever continue to do so, but it just seems like I haven’t really progressed much and probably got worse.
I appreciate any feedback! | ADHD |
Does long time separation make separation anxiety get worse?
I have never got diagnosed by a psychiatrist as they won’t treat me because I was going back to my home country in a few weeks (but maybe not anymore due to anxiety). I have a bf here and I’m an international student. My therapist says she thinks I probably have separation anxiety caused by trauma. And right now I’m not sure if I should go back to my home country anymore. I was thinking maybe I should not separate from my bf until I get some treatment from psychiatrist here (because if I don’t go back to my home country in any time soon they would treat me) or not separate until Covid situation get better because my main stress was about not sure when I can go back to the US because of covid.
Although my bf says he would do anything to make me not get stressed right now, It’s just my bf also got stressed to the point that he wanted to breakup a few times—because I don’t want to separate with him, but his parents don’t allow him to do things with me, and want him to go back to his home every holiday which makes me being anxious of separation(his parents are controlling and his mom is jealous of me, which caused stress to my bf. I had spent time at his home in the summer and his mom keeps embarrassing me deliberately and my bf kicked me out). He has breakup with me due to his stress before but he wants me back later. And now I’m afraid if I stay here, he will break up with me at some point because of his parents stress and his stress from me being anxious, which will make me even more stressed at that time and make it harder to pull myself together than just simple separation.
Also I barely self harm unless I’m in an abusive relationship. The only two periods of times I did self harm were when I was having abusive relationship. So I always think it’s my world view is depressing, but I’m not depressed. I think the psychiatrist said my depression is chronic moderate/mild depression. It never got very severe except for periods of times when I have serious relationships where I devoted all myself in and the guys hurt me in the end. And I always trust people/like people too much (even for friends) and I feel I always get utilized and attracting attention seekers instead of people who actually love my merits.
And I have a lot of close friends (like my friends told me they don’t have as many as good friends as me) but I never fit in a GROUP of friends where they talk about superficial topics. I’m actually very extroverted but I just don’t like superficial/meaningless topics (when I was a kid I always found myself “more mature” than kids around me and thinking about big questions) And almost more than half of my friends turned out to have mental illness after college (depression, bipolar, personality disorders). I don’t know why it’s like this. I feel my friends are good people, and psychology proved that popular kids are more aggressive. I feel this world is built for psychopaths:) good people get mental illness. | ptsd |
Guys I felt the need to tell someone. I suffer from extreme anxiety, and I was recently diagnosed with depression and ADHD last year. I’ve never been a peoples person but I love to write and read. So much so that I majored in English for my bachelors.
I applied for a PR job yesterday morning, got a call for a interview literally 30’s min later and did the interview this morning and I completely blew the interview out the water!! So much so that my interviews mentioned my counter questions for them, they we’re not prepared at all and I am a very strong candidate for this position.
Guys I’m crying because I feel so proud of myself. Getting the job or not, I feel like this is such a huge win with someone with ADHD. | ADHD |
Do I want to be vaping all the time? No.
Do I want to be skipping class everyday so I can watch tv instead? No.
However, does my dopamine system want me to buy another vape for me to smoke? Yes.
Does my dopamine system want me to skip class so I can stay in bed and binge watch Netflix? Yes.
Does my dopamine system want me to party and go out to bars every night? Yes.
I have a tight budget, but my dopamine cravings do not.
This is an important distinction to be aware of.
Don't mistake your dopamine cravings for your actual goals and desires. You'll lose touch of yourself and forget to do ur laundry, homework, and other important things for mucho tiempo
it bad dont do it | ADHD |
I had a really great childhood with loving parents who supported me with everything I wanted to do. But when I was 16 and an angsty teenager, my father lost control because of something I said, and smashed my head on a door repeatedly. He felt really bad afterwards and I have 100% forgiven him and love him very much.
Now I'm in a relationship with a guy with anger issues who sometimes throws things at me in rage but has never hit me or anything. But every time he gets angry I get incredibly scared and just want to hide in a corner. And any time someone does sudden movements while being angry or yells at me I usually start to cry uncontrollably. I feel so fucking weak, people have gone through far worse things and this seems so minor. Is it possible that I could have been traumatized by this one event? | ptsd |
I sometimes have urges to repeat certain statements, and if I don't repeat it in the exact way I want to I feel like I failed and I need to do it again. I have experienced this in the past but it has been getting worse over the past few days. How do I lessen this? I know that exposures are the way to go but I am not sure what exposure to do when it comes to this. The only exposures that I have done in the past have been centered around other themes of my ocd. Also, if there is any other strategies that you guys have that will be great. | OCD |
Hello, I have been asking this question for a long time and I really have no idea what the answer is...
I am trying to understand why I act the way I do, I have a lot of difficulty forming and maintaining relationships ,I am very toxic to myself, I am very uncomfortable with sex and intimacy (although I still desire it) and I am just generally very depressed.
I have been trying to understand if this is due to my bad parents, traumatic childhood or just the way I was born. | depression |
I am about 1/2 of the way through my MPA. I also recently moved to a far more demanding position at work. I have worked full time throughout this but now I am doing closer to 50 hrs a week, with crazy busy days. Fulfilling work, but challenging in its own right. The classes also went fully online, not even virtual lectures, I am a very auditory learner so it suckssss. So much busy work and so much reading. I am STRUGGLING to keep life straight.
I was doing pretty well until now. My psychiatrist has offered to give me a letter for disability resources anytime but I did not need it until now. Does anyone have experience with disability resources being helpful at this education level? Am I just asking too much from myself?
I will ask for the letter but it would be nice to hear some personal experiences.
My work is paying for the classes outright. I only have about 1 yr left and I hate quitting! I just want it to be done, but something has to give!! | ADHD |
29yo aspie. Researching ASPD when COVID hit and we lost funding. I think the study combined with the lockdown really messed with me. Therapist doesn't take it that seriously. Anyone have any good reccommendations for groups or subs? | aspergers |
like... to the point where it's almost concerning?
I seem to have really deep emotional attachment to things- photos, jewellery, trinkets etc. I keep all of my little bits and pieces in a box that stays hidden in my room, and sometimes I'll carry a few objects around for a number of weeks.
At the moment the thing that I find the greatest comfort in is a small tin of lip balm that a friend left at my house. I carry it everywhere, it feels like the only connection I have to that person who has since moved out of the country. I refuse to use it (don't want to mess up the finger prints left in the balm???) but I often walk around holding it.
I feel like it's a weird thing to do.
I also keep an old pillow case from a close friend who I can't see anymore, it stays tucked in my little box wrapped in a bag to.... well I don't really know. To preserve the smell of them I guess. It smells like safety to me which makes complete sense, but I've been told that it's weird and creepy. I don't know why | aspergers |
So yesterday was utter hell. Spent the whole day circling the drain and finally found the bottom around 9:00 pm when my energy levels naturally fall off. I have a few good things going in my life (beautiful family, new job coming up, studying for Salesforce cert and so on), but everything seems on the verge of falling apart and I was beating myself up internally. Things got so bad I asked my fiance to hide the side arm I keep in my nightstand; to be clear, I didn't intend to harm myself or others, but I wasn't well last night and I didn't want the option for self harm on the table.
Woke up this morning an emotional messz but I got my daughter ready for school, chatted about minecraft and made sure she was ready for her spelling test, etc. Came home feeling okay cause that kid is a walking dopamine hit. Hour later and I had bottomed out a bit. Decided that I was going to reduce the amount of things I could beat myself up over and forced myself up. Found this group on reddit, looked up some counseling and psychiatrist resources (was diagnosed in my teens, but never treated for a whole host of reasons and now I know I need help).
After that, I did all the laundry (washed and folded), made my kitchen spotless, went for a 2 mile walk with the Mrs, took my supplements, did planks and squats, made cookies for my kiddo, and etched out a loose to do list for tomorrow. None of this was easy and I kept wanting to put tasks off for later, but every time i encountered those impulses, i forced my self to do that task immediately. Now I'm in bed and I feel like I earned my downtime (Ricky Gervais podcast and daydreaming). I did really well for a guy who thought about packing it all in just 24 hours ago. Im proud of that and if tomorrow isn't as good, I'll forgive myself and try again. But just for now, I'm okay. | ADHD |
I have to eat every 3-4 hours or my brain believes that my blood sugar will go down and I will faint. And if I don’t stick to specific foods then I will suffer from the anxiety. For example every single morning I eat the exact same food oatmeal yogurt and almonds everything is measured to reach ab 1000calories. If I don’t do this I will get anxiety. Like today instead of eating yogurt I had two oranges, flax and chia seeds. I did this to try to change the food I eat. But it ended up backfiring on me and I now feel anxious and feeling a little DP. Most of my ocd comes from food I am afraid to eat meat because I was vegan for 5 years and I believe that my stomach is now no longer to process meat even tho I been eating chicken once a week with no issues besides high anxiety after consuming it. I also get scared going out on dates because I don’t really eat out and I am only used to eating at places that I am already used to. I just wish I could eat when I’m hungry and not worry about what I put in my mouth. | OCD |
Coping with intrusive memories is really hard , does anyone have an idea how to deal with these situations? | ptsd |
I just feel so empty at this point and so used to disappointment that when I start talking to a girl I can’t even develop the will to even try things out with them or develop feeling for them and will just leave them on read and not give a fuck. I guess when you waste 2 years of your life being disappointed by 2 girls that don’t like you back you get like this. I know I am young and I have other chances but I don’t feel hope in any of that anymore. I just feel so empty when I talk to my friends nowadays. Everything feels mindless. I am still social but most times I feel like just looking at shit on my phone rather than talk. I just feel like a complete failure at life. I try to make gains in my life but then fail completely due to anxiety and 0 motivation. I just throw away these Ideas for stuff I want to do because I have 0 motivation to do them after like a day. That’s why I’m fat and lazy. I mean I have lost some weight which is good but not enough. I might just try to get on adderall again. Everyday I feel like I don’t do enough then feel like a failure all day because my anxiety aka my demon makes me feel like shit about it and I just want to get high to not think about it and fill a hole in my heart. My anxiety is why I don’t ever wanna try new things anymore. Just stick to my comfort zone like a fucking pussy. Everyone is better than me at everything. I just wish I was good at something significant. I am sick of being the most disliked and lesser person in every group. I am the definition of a loser. Everyone likes me less than every other person in their life. I have no significance to anyone, I am the least liked out of anyone I’ve been around. I’ll be with my friend group and they’ll always continue the conversation without asking me why I’m not talking ever. My only friends are myself and drugs. They are the only ones who will stay true to themselves. They would care less if I wasn’t in their lives to begin with. Suicide has been a thought pretty frequently lately, I just want to be gone. End all the suffering. Maybe someone will lace a pill I’ll take or shoot me dead so I won’t have to be known as the guy who killed himself. I don’t wanna do therapy cause therapy is just paying someone to give a fuck about you. I don’t wanna hear your paid advice. Please god just end this depression spiral I go down. | depression |
Hey I don’t really know what to post because I’m kinda worn out. Just back-to-back OCD topics over and over. Like four different ones, and as soon as one ends, another starts back up, in and endless cycle. They each have their own specific way of making me exhausted/scared/stuck/guilty. Just want to curl up and be safe and okay. | OCD |
Seriously I can't be doing nothing at all and get the urge to cry idk why heck I'm having the urge right now does anyone else experience this? | ptsd |
I can’t focus on anything because i always feel like I need to be 100% sure of my plan/goals to know that the task at hand is worth doing. I go off and try to think about what I’m aiming for and whether there’s any other task I need to address before starting the one in front of me. After doing this I’m never fully assured by whatever answers I’ve come up with, and as a result I barely get anything done. I know it’s a flawed way of thinking but it’s so hard to get over. It could just be regular procrastination but made worse by obsessive compulsive tendencies, I don’t know. Has anyone else experienced this or something similar? | aspergers |
...and that made my heart drop. I’ve only ever been groped, verbally harassed, or hurt physically, but it was constant and hundreds and hundreds of times at its worst. Nobody stood by me. And now I have PTSD. And the therapist I was seeing a year ago said “...and then what?” after I shared a detailed account of my worst memories. No genuine words of comfort. The only thing he said was that my reaction to what happened is uncommon and that most people who had the same thing happen to them would be a little bit sad but it wouldn’t result in PTSD.
He told me that SSRIs don’t work so I shouldn’t bother trying but if I’m really nervous before a date (I was trying to get over my fear of dating at the time), he could *prescribe me a tranquilizer*. THOSE WERE HIS ACTUAL WORDS.
He told me that the exaggerated startle response is genetic and not because of my PTSD and will never go away.
When I told him I fell in love after a month and was sad about my heart being broken, he told me I fall in love too easily and I shouldn’t put trust or heart in anybody for several months. He then told me that I would have to start dating many other people right away to get over my heartbreak. I tried to and it fucking destroyed me. There’s a literal video of me two days after I stopped seeing the boy I fell in love with, and I’m on my way to a date with another guy and in the video I’m fighting back tears and talking about how I don’t want to do this but I have to because it will help me recover from my trauma.
To this day, I am terrified of physical touch. I told my therapist that the way I take my power back is that I have decided to be selective with whatever I do physically with anyone, even holding hands. He said that the only way I could get over my fear of men is to treat it like a phobia, and I must hold hands with many guys until it starts to mean nothing and I’m not afraid anymore. I told him that to me, holding hands is a special thing... something intimate that I only want to share with someone important who has my trust, and he told me that holding hands is not intimate and I need to accept that and move on. That how I feel about my boundaries and the sanctity if my body is fallacious.
I wanted so desperately to earn his respect and approval, but in my heart of hearts, I could *feel* his intense malice towards me.
The last time he and I spoke, I called him for another appointment and he told me that he’s retiring, which I’m pretty sure was a lie because he didn’t want to see me anymore. He then offered to meet with me one last time to prescribe me SSRIs, even though he’d renounced them in the past. No “it was a pleasure working with you” at the end of the call or anything. I was crushed.
I’m seeing a good therapist now and I hadn’t seen this last person in a year, but the damage is still there.
This is not an exhaustive list of everything.
All of this info clearly points to him being a terrible therapist, yet I still feel like I’m the crazy one. Beforehand, I already struggled with the fact that I hadn’t been molested *enough* to be valid, but since last summer, the pain in my heart regarding this has taken a special type of residency, since it’s now been backed by a professional.
All I can think about lately is how far I am from being happy in love. I’m happy being single, but a part of me has felt like I need somebody ever since having my heart broken by another boy last month, but I’m hoping that that fades in time. I have these moments of sheer pride in how strong I am on my own, but then I see people in movies confronting their demons and fighting for love and it reminds me of how I’ve never gotten to that point. All of the guys I’ve loved do the same thing: they just leave without saying anything. Literally gone off of the face of the earth. They pretend I don’t exist, even if days or weeks prior, they’ve bared their sounds to me. Makes me feel invisible. It’s sickening, yet so familiar.
I used to be so happy to see couples, because I like the idea of others being happy, but now it’s a reminder of how afraid I am of ever being touched sexually, but also even just touched in a a romantic, non-sexual manner, like a touch on the shoulder. It reminds me of how far I am from where I want to be, and there’s nothing I can do about it. And through it all, I still look back on that old therapist and wonder what I did wrong.
Edit: This person was in fact a psychiatrist! Sorry, I should’ve mentioned that before. Aren’t psychiatrists infamous for overprescribing? Lol I got the exact opposite. A psychiatrist who is so doubtful about meds. Who would’ve thought 😅
Edit 2: When he offered to prescribe me a tranquilizer, the way he worded it was intentionally done such that it would invoke fear in me. I hope this clears things up. Nothing against people who have medications that are tranquilizers.
Edit 3: Some commenters have brought up some interesting points about him trying to employ exposure therapy. I see where you guys are coming from for sure and it’s opened my eyes to that. I’ve since read about the basics of exposure therapy and from what I see, he was being very forceful with me here. It also seems like exposure therapy is done in controlled environments. He also focused very heavily on my fear of men. He called it a phobia and seemed to have no interest in going deeper into the why. All he’d ever say was that I have to go on many many dates and hold the hands of many guys until I become numb to dating. He said that I have to go on many many dates and eventually I will stop missing the boy I was in love with. He never really focused on anything besides simply telling me to do the thing I’m afraid of. Now I don’t claim to know much about exposure therapy, but the way he went about it was very poor, especially because he told me the only way I could possibly get over these things is to do them, as if there is nothing else I could possibly do on top of facing my fears that would help. | ptsd |
TL;DR
so recently im in a very bad period of my life. I have a gone relationship with
my girlfriend, which really affected me badly since im a very, very sensitive
guy and its lot harder for me to recover from bad events. I switched school
as well, but its a little of the problem. The biggest problem is with my mother.
I live with him since i went about 3 years old, and i cant remember a single
fucking time she told me that she loves me. Always, i have to seek for attention
to at least hug me back or do something. Usually she doesnt even do it. If i
complain about that, she just doesnt care and say, "you cant love somebody
with just words". For fucks sake, i know that, i just want to hear if she loves
me. She hugged me only twice during all these years. Once at graduation ceremony,
and once more some days ago, after she heard about my broken relationship.
Because, depsite the so much hate and anger we trade with each other, she is
still the first person i would share my secrets.
I feel her situation, her life was just a complete tragedy, so he is so pathetic all the
time and doesnt dare to do anything in order to change that. She lost everyone
she loved, except me and my aunt. But it all happened 10+ years ago and i guess
she still hasnt managed to recover from it completely.
She abused me verbally since i was born and barely said anything lovely. Also she
gave me almost everything, so im really grateful for it. But he makes me cry and
suicidal every single day, so i cant appreciate it as much as i should.
She blames me for EVERYTHING. My hairstyle, my dressing, my hobbies, my grades
(with some right most of the time tbh).She also behave like a snowflake, when she misundertand something i said.
And here comes the main issue.
She just doesnt let me do very regular things. Im 16 freakin years old i have to
beg her let me to dress, brush my teeths etc. FROM MY OWN. She would to it all
for me, since he has 0 trust on me i can do anything, even if i prove it.She
also banned me from cooking and other shit that EVERY of my contemporary guys or
girls can do. I feel so disabled because of all that. I proved i have high iq,
but at the same time growing slowly in the terms of my body and everyday things.
She reminds me for that all the time, sometimes making me to howl. I just dont
see the point of not letting me to try anything, but at the same time complain
about still how dependent i am.
I cant bear all that shit. Everyone around me just saying to endure the last
years till i turn into 18, but its almost 2 years, and it seems like infinite
time, but also a very short period if i think about how much things i have to
learn to be ready to live alone.
So my mother just stealing my self confidence, my benefit in life and in myself,
makes me stress and can do one thing really well: criticising me all day long.
I know she loves me, but my love towars her is filled with anger because all
the things i wrote.
(ps: i wrote this in .txt originally so reddit may show it weirdly)
Thanks for any advice, and that you read this. | depression |
My 6 year old was diagnosed with ADHD recently and we are contemplating medication. I’m not skeptical that it helps many people, but I would like to see a demonstration of a young person becoming less impulsive and hyperactive.
A before and after video would be awesome. I looked through youtube, but I may not have searched correctly.
I love my son and want to make the right choice for him. He presents pretty extreme symptoms compared to the stories my parents told me of my first and second grade years with diagnosed with “ADD”. | ADHD |
I did something really wrong a few years back to my cat and I feel excessive guilt over it. Sometimes it hits me very hard and I find it hard to behave normally and cope, it paralyzes me.
My psychologist says it is not so bad and tries to calm me down, but I think it is something really horrible objectively and if someone I know would tell me they did this I don't know what I would do.
Does she just not get me? Or am I having such a hard time because ocd? | OCD |
I am reading alot of people having hyperfocusing for days or forgetting to eat a issue. I wish I could hyperfocus on something I like but I can't seem to focus on anything for much longer and even I do have an interest it's not for more then an hour or two max. I over eat as I always free drained or tired/ fatigue and crave sugars around noon or evening. | ADHD |
i’m doing college prep. since half of the shit was taken or you had to go in and do it i decided to do child development first period then whatever the fuck the next. i open bright space and this man gives us 31 assignments... | ptsd |
Gamers with ADHD, are you good or bad at them?
I've played video games since I was a small child and after all these years I suck at every single game I play. Especially first person shooters. Is there a correlation?
I've played fps games for about a decade now and I'm still so terrible at them. I always get so impatient and just run right into the action. I'm usually the first one to die on my time or to have the most deaths. My aim and everything else is just fine, but I always die a bunch. This can apply to other types of games. Like story or strategy games. I just get impatient with them and stop playing. Is this because of ADHD?
It could literally just be nothing, not related to ADHD. It could just be that I'm dumb and just suck at video games. But I always like to find answers for why I do certain things, or why I behave in a certain way. For some reason I can't accept that some things happen "just because". This is one of those things. | ADHD |
I don’t want to ghost this person but I can’t remain friends with them. It’s too painful emotionally for me.
I’d give more details on the situation but I’m too overwhelmed. | aspergers |
I have seen dozens of doctors and tried many antidepressants and combinations, i am thinking of ending my life at this point
I can describe what I feel as a type of pain, it takes of my will power to do my daily tasks while not focusing on it (it is very present and intense . I'd say between 6 and 10 over 10!)
You know the feeling when you are sick or have fever?
That's it. Except i don't have fever or infection and my blood tests are very clean.
I feel sick, tired, brain fogged, no matter what Im doing. It almost is like internal burning, the closest i can compare it to. I am at the moment barely functional (i finish easy daty entry work then scroll on reddit till i sleep).
I developed a depression from this...
I d really appreciate if you can tell me what specialist i should see or what i could take as medicine... thank | depression |
nothing to say except from the fact i been so damn empty all the time. i literally feel like a glass with nothing in side. an empty barrel and i thought by now i’d be used to it. but i’m not. still. | depression |
i wish so much were different, i can't change who i am | depression |
My life is fine,I have friends,my school life is okay but I feel an emptiness,I've started thinking about suicide more often and I don't know why,once I'm alone I just feel empty,but there's no reason for me to feel like this,I keep thinking "why am I here" and I hate myself for thinking it,I hate myself even more for my reason not offing myself is that my mum will be the one to find my body and I just can't do that to her.
I don't really know how I feel anymore,I just want them to stop | depression |
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