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Does overthinking play a big role in OCD? Like you're brainstorming( idk what word to use) worst case scenarios which literally have a little to none chance of happening and become anxious about it, and not matching with other people's symptoms/experiences which makes you more anxious thinking you're in denial?
Or like someone you know is a little late and you're thinking "what if x happened to them"?
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OCD
|
It's a hard thing to discover that you don't really fit in anywhere. It's painful to watch your friends drift away. Something that I've realized is that I am a really good friend when I can constantly be giving to people. Be it emotional support, money, or even just food, everyone will be a good friend when I'm giving but they all leave pretty soon after I stop. Nobody will text me first anymore. Nobody ever asks to hang out with just me anymore. I'm sorry that I can't give more, because if I did then maybe we would still be friends
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depression
|
Hi there,
after years and years of search for a medication that helps my symptoms, I finally have the feeling that Vyvanse is a good choice. ADHD symptoms, depression and social anxiety are relieved a good portion. The thing with always every medication is that tolerance might build up and the positive effects dimish/decrease. Has anyone experience with longterm use of Vyvanse/Stimulants? How do you manage to keep tolerance at bay? Every advise is welcomed
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ADHD
|
So today man, I was just mentally tired of fighting these intrusive thoughts and I kept getting very graphic intrusive thoughts and I just started agreeing with them, I was also half asleep so I didn’t really think about what I was saying and this is the one that threw me off the most, please don’t judge me I have no idea where this come from and can’t believe this came from me but I was getting intrusive images and I thought “I want to suck a d” and then I jolted up and was like wtf. This wasn’t an intrusive thought either it felt like that came as if I was going with the flow of my intrusive thoughts but I’ve been stressing all day, I definitely don’t want to do and I hate myself for thinking that I should just got up and kept myself busy instead of laying in bed all day and getting that thought
And for the people that don’t really understand just imagine you’re responding to someone with POCD
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OCD
|
I'm wondering about areas such as holding conversations and staying on topic, making sure I don't become irritated or bored from a person taking too long to explain or discuss something, and showing respect by maintaining eye contact and focus while they speak.
This is manageable in general situations when I'm consciously attempting to be agreeable (I still do let some of the issues slip out), but when my inhibitions lower due to the effects of alcohol then it becomes quite difficult. Anyone have advice?
|
ADHD
|
Not diagnosed, hoping someone would relate. Been trying to figure out what is wrong with me.
I can’t do anything. I literally don’t even do my own laundry. I forget about laundry until I realize, and even then I don’t even do my own. Room is a mess. Constantly want food. I don’t read. I’m terrified of going back to school. Can’t lose weight. Losing motivation to go back to being a gym rat.
It’s like I wanna fix my life and I can’t. I’ve made a huge list of things, one of them being laundry. I’ll write it down on my to do list, I’ll either do it once or twice then forget about it or I just get the same things I usually get done which are things like “gym” “drink water” “get to work” “pray” “call customer service” “shower”
Even those things I sometimes don’t end up doing. It’s so embarrassing, I can’t even do laundry. I’m a 21 year old girl. I do have good hygiene otherwise, I shower, brush, look good on the outside, but no one would guess that I don’t even do my own fucking laundry.
I’m
Tired of this and I know I can’t fix it because I have tried and I can’t fix anything. Over and over. Been trying to lose weight for ages, I developed a compulsive overeating problem. Can’t get good grades. I need help. Idk if my health insurance is even good enough.
I’m so lost. I was bawling my eyes out today. I’m so stressed. Overwhelmed over basic life things. I don’t know what to do, I have tried everything. Constantly trying and trying and failing and daily for four years is going to make me insane and depressed. I am going crazy I look normal on the outside but I am going insane trying to fix my stupid life
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ADHD
|
Obviously I know that professional help is the most beneficial, but due to my situation I am completely unable to get it. (I'm underage, and my mom doesn't have the money to take me to a therapist. Plus even if she did, she doesn't really trust doctors so I doubt she would). So I was wondering if anyone uses herbal or holistic remedies to help? And if so what do you use?
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OCD
|
Black out curtains don't work. I'm not allowed to sleep during the day and work during the night. Working during the night just feels much better than working in the day. I hate the feeling of sunlight. I sound like a fucking vampire. I hate how the heat from sunlight feels on my skin when I'm doing my work.
It's only when I'm doing my work and never with other tasks.
I start doing my tasks at 6PM. Our wifi schedule only works from 6AM-10:30PM. I have told him so many times that I can't work during the day because I physically hate it so much. My father doesn't care. He wants me to sleep at exactly 10:30PM which I have told him so many times that I can't.
I also have insomnia and Bipolar Disorder 2. I think he's traumatized because I've hurt myself during the night and have attempted to meet God earlier than I'm supposed to. He thinks I will go crazy if I don't sleep. I only go crazy when I keep thinking so much that it stresses me out and worsens my insomnia.
I understand that he cares for me but I know what works best for me. I don't know what to do.
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ADHD
|
I'm here ✋I want a friend to talk to cuz I like the feeling of being texted which makes me feel I am a human I have some connections with the world 🌎.I was and am dreaming about having a soulmate. but it’s so hard for me to keep a friendship like we always lost each other on account of time, distance or smtg else. why I don't have someone to text, to share things with like most of the ppl. I guess I should create a chance of interacting with others so I'm posting this.
Basically, I'm a woman, 19, having a break from school. we could talk about everything whatever negativity or positivity, like movies, music, the cultural differences or things happening in your daily life, or things u want to share with me. Vent or rant to me, it’s perfectly fine and I will understand it all. If u want someone to communicate, pls comment then I will dm u
Or u just message me.
Hope the Internet won't get me disappointed 😶🌫️
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depression
|
For context I have Asperger’s syndrome and OCD + depression/anxiety.
My mind seems constantly open, letting in thoughts of my own and others (even if I am alone) there’s no situation where my intrusive thoughts are not prevalent. One of the worst moments is during sex, it’s a task for me not an enjoyment, my thoughts run riot and I’ll think about what I done during the day, childhood experiences you name it.
This is for all my activities during the day and it’s draining figuring out which thoughts are me as a person and which ones are just intrusive.
I apply logic to all of my thoughts, makes me rather emotionless and it removes all feelings from these thoughts
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OCD
|
Never in my life have I felt this apathetic about everything.
I am finishing up my year at university but, to be honest it has been such a struggle for me to find the mental strength for weeks now. I fr fr have no strength nor the focus to be able to finish my school work; Heck! I don't even care that i haven't been getting any of my work done. I feel as if I have just given up. If any brains out there ever felt like this before, how'd you guys get out of this?
M23 and medicated.
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ADHD
|
I always say I need a seasoned homemaker to teach me how to keep myself organized but I’ve realized that Even if I had a manual and how to do it all in the home to perfection I couldn’t execute it because, you know, ADHD. My adhd lacks the grit to just get it done. So if I can get the science down to each individual task and find the least daunting and most efficient way to complete each task that pains me that maybe, just maybe, I can minimize the overwhelm in my environment.
So my question is about doom piles. Tell me your solutions and coping mechanisms to deal with the adhd piles that accumulate everywhere?
|
ADHD
|
I'm sorry, this might just be a vent but i need to let it out. TDLR at the end.
I've been working on and off since i was 16 (i'm 21M) , i've had multiple jobs since then and every time i've reached a point where i just can't take it anymore, i get so bored and burnt out and while yes, i know i'm being productive, it just doesn't 'feel right' and i end up quitting for my mental health. My ADHD has played a huge role in this.
The thing is, i've taken almost 8 months off work (i had enough money saved to do so), and it's driving me fucking crazy. I wake up and do the same thing everyday, rarely leaving the house and i feel like my mind is always racing with a thousand things i wanna do and accomplish but i'm stuck at home getting blazed every night, the only other option is to work at a min wage job to pass time which eventually will lead to me feeling like i'm wasting my time and quitting. But knowing thats what i gotta do i know i'll just have to do it.
TLDR; When i do nothing i feel worthless to society, chronically bored and guilty but when i'm doing what 21yo's are 'supposed' to do like study full time or work shitty jobs i feel unfulfilled and overworked.
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ADHD
|
Ever since I started taking meds I am much calmer and I believe my ocd has lulled, but now that I’m going to get screened for skin cancer (it’s my own damn fault, didn’t wear any sunscreen at all this summer despite being out in the sun numerous times) im worried it’s gonna come back, ESPECIALLY if it’s a positive test. I know summer hasn’t been so long so it probably hasn’t spread to other parts (then again I don’t know how fast cancer spreads) and we could get it cut out but I’m mostly just hoping the ocd doesn’t come back, I’ve recovered almost completely. And of course, I am not thrilled about the possibility of having cancer, even if it’s treatable
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OCD
|
Hey I'm new here. I've come from a domestic violence relationship that only ended 4 weeks ago. The trauma has been excruciating in body and mind. Week 1 was a prolonged panic attack, body was convinced it was going to die . Week 2 was less frequent panic, moving to dissociation. Week 3 and 4 has been dissociation city. I've had to work hard on my recovery plan to maintain my full time job and life. One day I neglected a step and disassociated on the road, ran a red light and almost got hit by another car. Today is Saturday, 3pm and I haven't been out of bed. Im exhausted from trying to function.
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ptsd
|
Hi,
In my country there’s going to be a protest for the rights of disabled people.
I would like to know, did you ever go to a protest with accommodations for neurodivergent people? If so, what was put in place to accomodate neurodivergence?
I would like to contribute with the organizers with some ideas but my country does not have a lot of resources and everything is pretty expensive. I will do my best to try to contribute.
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aspergers
|
Around a year ago, I started to develop OCD symptoms, but didn't fully understand what OCD was. I thought I was going crazy. I won't go into details, but I started having these horrible violent thoughts, that I was afraid of anybody knowing. I was horribly depressed for months, ready to turn myself into the police and spend the rest of my life in a mental asylum just for having these thoughts. I visited a doctor and was diagnosed with OCD. This diagnosis helped a lot more than I knew it would! After being diagnosed I still battled my brain for 16 hours a day and was very depressed for the next few months, but it slowly started getting better. Due to all the panic attacks (at least 10 a day) and constant anxiety, I entered a DP/DR episode that lasted for about a month, and started hitting the gym and skating more and more. I stopped smoking weed completely, because it made my anxiety worse in the long run, and started recovering a lot faster. Now I barely even have those thoughts anymore, and when I do, I've learned to dismiss them. I still do have irrational obsessive thoughts, but they don't control my life like one did for a year.
I'm still a little bit fragile. I do fear a little bit of doing that again, and I can't listen to the music I listened to going through that because it brings the memories back. I'm honestly so happy because I thought there'd never be light at the end of the tunnel. I truly thought I'd never recover, and that was horrible to me. But I did, and you will too. Stay active in this community. Don't be afraid to talk to people, if you are, talk to me about it! I'd love to listen! Thank you guys so much! You really helped me get through the hardest year of my life!
|
OCD
|
Articles, general tips, anything would be appreciated.
I guess mainly I'm struggling with constructing a profile and keeping conversations going.
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aspergers
|
So... Recently I had my very first French kiss. It was consensual and with a guy I enjoy spending time with. However, ever since having it I’m obsessing constantly about how it was not what I expected a French kiss to be.
I've never been quite excited about having one anyway, but I thought that once it happens, I'll understand it better and my opinion will change. But with all honesty... I didn't enjoy it. Not that I think it was done improperly or I straight up hated it but... it was nothing else than a bodily act and I didn't have the *flare* that all lovers talk about. Now I’m obsessing over me being asexual. Does not enjoying kissing mean you are asexual? Or the fact that you aren't craving intercourse with a person you otherwise actually like? I dream about having kids, so all this is putting a lot of strain on me and I feel as if what I’m experiencing is abnormal, it should be different...
Everyone who feels comfortable, could you share your experience with your first kiss and how it made me feel? Perhaps there is no reason to obsess and it's just a common phenomenon to finding it weird the first time...
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OCD
|
I’m 21 and I live at home with my mom and sister. My daddy passed away last october after battling it for 5 years. I recently transferred to a school I thought i’d love (the classes are on zoom so i can’t even enjoy the social aspects of it bc i’m still at home) I’m studying a subject i’m not sure I love. I’m just so lost. I don’t have good quality friends and I feel so stupid most of the time. I just miss my daddy so much. I really don’t know what to do.
I haven’t taken a break from school since my dad died and even though I really, really want to, the idea of being even more behind makes me not do it. And then i’m scared i’ll never go back to school and i’ll be working a part time job for the rest of my life. I’m just so scared of every decision I make and I’m failing to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m just so tired. Just when I think i’ve never felt any more depressed, it happens again and I fall into my depressive hole.
I just need someone to tell me it’s going to be okay because right now nothing feels okay
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depression
|
Hey all. To give this a little context I'm a 29 year old male living with my parents. I don't blame it for all my problems but depression has shaped a lot of my adult life.
With that said, I was having a conversation with my mom this morning and trying to express how from my perspective my parents don't seem to support or share my excitement for any of the things I become excited about pursuing.
This topic came up because I've recently been considering doing a mountaineering program (I'm an avid hiker) and despite having plenty of time to do so my dad couldn't even be bothered to read the description of the program. This, from my perspective, is how nearly all my interactions with them concerning large life decisions take place.
I'm not expecting them to be excited about everything I am or to go out of their way to learn about those things but I thought that a part of being close to others in life would mean showing some support and interest in the things the people around you are considering pursuing.
So I was trying to express this to my mom and I was frustrated and may have communicated poorly but her response was to be immediately defensive and angry that I would suggest they were anything less than supportive all along. She completely invalidated my perspective and told me she had shown enthusiasm for my interests and had said so many times over the years and that I had forgotten it.
​
So, the reason for this post. I'm now feeling like I'm losing my mind. I know due to my depression that I have a tendency to better remember negative things. But is my whole perspective and impression of my parents and our interactions completely fabricated and incorrect? I'm not sure I can trust any of my memories now and I'm questioning all of my views. Maybe this is a good thing since I know I have many inaccurate opinions but you have to trust yourself on some things. Right?
I'm not looking for answers here but has anyone else experienced this? I spend a lot of time feeling crazy but this was another level. This was one of those worldviews I'd taken for granted based on the experiences I remember having but after discussing it I don't know if anything I believe is true.
Have a good day everyone.
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depression
|
I was diagnosed with inattentive type at age twenty, after I'd had several scans and evaluations done related to very poor memory retention. While there were a few other contributing factors (my prefrontal cortex was 'underdeveloped' per a series of scans), I was told that my memory issues were simply due to my ADHD. I'd done alright in high school and early university - I could write a phenomenal paper in short order, and I graduated with almost all AP courses but I struggled at times with grades due to recall problems.
I'm thirty five now, and somehow I'm a software engineer (sometimes I truly don't know how I got here). To this day, I have constant issues with memory. I might remember a life event, or something a friend said in passing that wasn't even germane to important things in my life. However, I can read and enjoy a book cover-to-cover and only recall a very rough draft outline within maybe two weeks of completion. If you were to ask me to sketch a synopsis another few days after that, I may not even recall who the main characters are.
I somehow trudge through most of my work based on sheer repetition of doing the same things for years upon years. However, new material is always a struggle - No matter how engaged or invested I am.
This has really been demotivational, as I suddenly find myself not even wanting to start new books, listen to new albums or watch new films, etc. Has anyone else really struggled with this? Thanks!
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ADHD
|
I... can’t wrap my mind around the idea that prolonged exposure therapy is supposed to be effective for people with PTSD???
I think it’s actually insane — this idea that I need to relive my trauma, over and over, in order to get over it, when I just got past the phase of uncontrollably thinking about my trauma 6 months ago. It feels like going backwards.
Moreover, it seems so so so so painful. Why can’t I choose to just focus on things that make me happy? Is there actually an issue with avoiding things that make me triggered? **Do I need to force myself in daily life to do things that trigger me????!!!**
The other thing is, if exposure therapy is the only route to healing, fuck healing, I would honestly 100% rather commit suicide.
What should I do? — I feel like my entire worldview on how I can get better from PTSD (which for the record has been working so far, seemingly) is coming into conflict with research on PTSD.
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ptsd
|
As the date of the anniversary of when I was hit and got ptsd get closer, I feel like I’m less able to control myself or my feelings. I’m zoning out with friends, hard to focus, can’t sleep, and all. Really not having a good time.
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ptsd
|
I literally cannot fantasise about a woman anymore, every time I try she either turns into something else or has something of the male sex attached to her (not dissing trans women, this is completely different ) and it ruins it, I haven’t been able to fantasise about a woman properly for almost a year now, it hasn’t affected my life too much but it would be nice to be able to do it, it’s just when the thoughts come I stop fantasising instantly, I’m afraid if I keep going it’ll mean my intrusive thought will turn into a sexual fantasy, I’m also afraid of finding myself actually liking the thought because sometimes it’s POCD too, but I don’t know what other way to do this, how long will I have to deal with this for before I can fantasise about women
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OCD
|
31(M), recently got broken up from a 9 year relationship, she was the love of my life and my best friend, we left things about as good as possible in my eyes, and yet we 've barely talked since. I know it's normal not to talk frequently now, but the bitterness, resentment, negativity, its all growing, and the prospect of eventually never talking to her is so daunting it frightens me to my core, cause I don't know how I'll possibly overcome it.
I've moved back with my parents, they were always good to me but we were simply never close. I feel so lonely laying in bed waiting to fall asleep, and initial thoughts of not wanting to live anymore are creeping up.
Don't have a whole lot of friends, they show me support the best they can but they all have their lives to worry about and I hate talking to them about me by initiative (I'm more the listener and helper type I guess)
Work is going okish (Videographer freelancer, so a lot of ups and downs), but I have a very, VERY complicated relation with work that would take way to long to describe here. I feel like I have some form of ADHD that has made me super lazy and videogame / media addicted, any project that I start gets left in the dust cause I lose the motivation for it, and I have no doubt this had a major part in the ending of my relationship.
As I moved away from my ex's house, I put my desktop computer in a small office of a friend to force me to commute from my parents house, and to prevent me from furiously playing video-games as a distraction. I feel it was the right choice and one I wouldn't have made before. I'm trying to change, but it feels impossible.
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depression
|
I’m 17 years old and I’ve got OCD, which has developed into an eating disorder. I’ve had an eating disorder for about 5 years, but I had “phases” of bulimia, anorexia and binge eating disorder. I started going to a dietitian, but diets make me anxious (I can’t stay away from my food when I’m preparing it, because someone could put something in my plate, so I can’t get away from the kitchen until I’m finished eating; the days in which I can eat whatever I want (I have two “free evenings” in my diet) are terrifying…).
Neither my dietician has got the mentality that I want to achieve: she’s conscious about her body too.
I don’t want to be chained to a diet or to an eating disorder, but I can’t see another way of eating. The days in which I didn’t have an eating disorder are so far away that I can’t remember. Could someone please tell me how to eat normally?
It could seem more of an “eating disorder” question. It isn’t, really. I’ve obsessed over things different from food, and the thinking pattern is pretty much the same.
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OCD
|
i have an adult child with depression. they are taking medication but it isn’t working. . i understand it is hard to do things like get out of bed and eat and be around family but it is hard to see my child like this. they do nothing but look at reddit /phone all day. wont eat unless we bring the food it seems they don’t want to try. wont talk to us and says hurtful things to us (even though i think /hope it is bc of the illness). i am very heart broken and sad and don’t know what to do. i love my child so much but have no idea what to do. every day is terrible for the rest of the family bc we are so worried but don’t know how to help. can anyone tell us what to do?
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depression
|
Im hiding out in my freaking toilet at home. Just locking myself in. I dont want to face my mom or anyone. I have no where else to go. I cant leave yet, itll cost me lots of money to get my own place. Im so tired and stressed out. My family triggered me so much, my head is banging it hurts.
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depression
|
Hi all, I'm getting close to 30. Just looking for some additional perspective here. Would already accept I definitely have a lot of ADHD tendencies with a child and adult diagnosis, but anyway onto the point.
I feel like I am getting to be a worse person over the years. I think I've had a dramatic difference in the sense of I feel I am much less patient with life, much more frustrated, and definitely touchier. I feel the person I am now is much less carefree and much more serious than I was say five years ago. I am certainly a less happy person and it's definitely taking some toll on my long term relationship.
Life hasn't changed too much, just more responsibilities, life pressures things like that, normal adult things. I am just not dealing with it well? I recently tried adderrall and straterra I gave straterra about two months and ultimately didn't see any benefit in it. With the adderrall it definitely helps me in a lot of different ways. But I do think it escalates my "touchiness" problem. I definitely have some anger issues right now, and not in the sense of things that wouldn't make me mad now make me mad, more like, if something was already going to irritate me now it REALLY irritates me and is much harder to just let go and move on with life.
We're in basically premarital counseling that we're also utilizing to work through some of our own issues as well, so that's already happening.
When something rubs me the wrong way it is very hard for me to just not be mad, I feel I have to go through a whole decompressing process and let myself cool off, and I'm much more inclined to pursue conflict even over little misunderstandings rather than just acknowledge they're a small misunderstanding/miscommunication, to the point that it can ruin my evening if it's already later at night.
Can anyone relate? Reasonable strategies? Once I calm down I feel remorseful for letting trivial things disrupt life but in the moment it's just anger/frustration.
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ADHD
|
I have PTSD because of my crazy father and I’m super weird because of it. No surprise there. But why was I so distant from my extended family?
Based on my father’s outrageous behavior my therapist surmised that my father’s behavior towards me was a known fact. But no one stepped in to protect me and my siblings.
So it’s probable my survival instinct designated my relatives as co-conspirators to my abuse and, therefore, threats to be avoided. In addition it removed motivation for me to maintain contact with them over the years.
Downside: I’m lonely
Upside: I’m safe
So now, at 51, I have new information that helps explain my condition and offers a way forward to alleviate my loneliness. That’s good news.
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ptsd
|
I’m using a throawayacc because my friends follow my main and I don’t want em to think I’m weird but everytime I touch something I feel super dirty in the part that touched it and just constantly wash it over and over for example if I touched the bottom of my sock I would feel the need to constantly wash my hands over and over until they felt clean but that ain’t the weird part. So every once and a while I do a certain dirty deed I’m sure you all know what I’m referring to but some of a certain substance got on my leg and I’ve been feeling a need to take a shower ever since. I washed my leg off with wipes and stuff but I still feel dirty. Would it really make me as dirty as I feel like or am I just overreacting it? This drives me nuts because I hate having to go back and forth from my room to my bathroom to wash up and I just want to get rid of this thought. I know that I’m clean after washing up but my mind just won’t let me rest at ease until I shower or something. I’m sorry if this isn’t ocd I thought this was the right place to say this I’ll remove it if it’s not appropriate
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OCD
|
I am debating between Bose Quietcomfort II's and Sony XM4's to help deal with some of my sound sensitivity. Do you have an experience, or a suggestion?
|
aspergers
|
I suck absolute ass at driving. Like I'm just straight up terrible at it. I never even wanted to drive in the first place because I never trusted myself with driving a car.
Except that doesn't matter in everyone else's eyes. If you don't atleast have your driver's license, your looked down upon in society and treated like a child. Just like everyone did to me. And eventually I got tired of this and got my license. But 95% of the reason why I even went through all the trouble of getting my license was just so people would shut up about it. But I'm honestly complete shit at driving, so I'm going to get shit for all my mistakes. There just is no winning. I either avoid driving to avoid the situation I'm in now that I knew would happen, or I drive to avoid getting crap for that, but I get crap about how bad of a driver I am from everyone. There's just no way to win. It's basically "choose how you want to get shit on by society."
Just came here to rant honestly, but yeah, I fucking hate driving with a passion. It really bothers me to no end that I was basically bullied into it by society. Fucking sucks.
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depression
|
It comes in waves. I can feel myself fighting the memory and then before I know it, I dissociate and get locked in that mental space of that memory and then I start crying and have to use soothing tools I learned in therapy.
I've done one round of EMDR and I thought I was getting somewhat better because I haven't had an "episode" as I just described in a few weeks. I no longer cry myself to sleep in fetal position. I'm also 2 months into lexapro and sober from all substances for 87 days so that could help too.
Not sure what to think now. Maybe some more EMDR is needed. It does feel like my brain has a harder time going down that memory lane though.. so that's why I thought maybe the EMDR did something
Anyone relate or any tips ?
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ptsd
|
My mom would have one less mouth to feed or worry about
She always talks about how tired she is and how my siblings never appreciate what she does
So if i off myself she wouldn't have to worry about one more ungrateful son.
I'm tired of playing middle ground its honestly not worth it on either side.
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depression
|
[https://www.reddit.com/r/HowToDoTherapy/](https://www.reddit.com/r/HowToDoTherapy/)
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depression
|
i have a weird habit of screenshotting shows/movies i’m watching on my phone and it gets really annoying to the point where i cant enjoy watching and it ruins it for me. This is rlly frustrating i try to ignore it but then i have this nagging feeling telling me that if i don’t do it i’m not gonna “enjoy” watching. If’s currently happening to me rn and i wanna watch but i just can’t
|
OCD
|
In my 1 year of OCD i came to see how much absurd imaginations our mind can build and most of the things actually never happened. Those which do happened were far less terrible than anticipated and were manageable.
|
OCD
|
or is the uncertainty something that you have to live with forever? i’m asking this because after dealing with themes about harm, i now know that the thoughts and images were just ocd.
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OCD
|
Okay, sorry if this is a dumb question, but I (19 M) just finished watching the video from Kyle Hill talking about his experience with the subject, I found myself questioning if I am on the spectrum as well...
Some of the things I find might be and indication are:
- Taking almost everything literally
- Analizing behavior like a statistics problem to understand other people's situation
- Pattern seeking brain
- Difficulty noticing when people are being sarcastic or have any unshown emotions without asking about it
- Easily distracted mind (almost ADHD levels of distraction)
- I naturally get away from people even though I don't dislike social interaction, I just do
- Affinity towards STEM fields due to my pattern seeking brain, allways been fascinated by all of those things
I think I could go on if I dug a bit deeper, but I think that shows a bit of the bigger picture
Sorry if this doesn't belong here, I just couldn't live with the doubt.
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aspergers
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I’m full of regret and dread being alive every day.
I’m one of those who didn’t have a traumatic experience other than constantly disappointing myself. A person who couldn’t finish college, a person whose not working, and still living at their parents house in their mid 20s.
In middle school, I was accepted to go to a full ride in music but my parents didn’t want me to, so I didn’t go.
After high school I had a chance to go to a music college school but it was better to pick a more stable career path, so I didn’t go.
In college I did well in my first year and met a lot of people and new friends, but as time went on, I realized I wasn’t happy with my career and eventually my grades started to slip. I also started losing friends and eventually everyone graduated and moved on and I ended up dropping out.
I wrote a letter and attempted to kill myself soon after but failed. A few days later my parents found the letter and we had a talk and was able to get my parents to understand that mental illness is real and got into therapy, although it didn’t help. I was on pills that only made my mood swings worse and another pill that got me addicted so I was cut off.
Somehow, during all that, I was lucky enough to have a partner, but that ended after 2 years due to changes in our lives that made us no longer compatible, but still friends. This person was the only person that really kept me alive because I felt like I was needed and wanted, but now that it’s over, it’s painful to know that I’m not gonna be their #1 anymore. Even though we have a healthy platonic relationship, it hurts to see them move on and I feel like I should cut them off my life, even though that’s the only person I talk to now.
The friends that I had turned out to be problematic. One from high school turned out to be extremely anti LGBT+. Another was accused of rape. Another has physically assaulted his girlfriend (his girlfriend is my childhood friend).
I’ve tried to push myself to do other things but it’s too late. I have nothing to contribute to this world and I was given so many opportunities only to waste it.
Nowadays all I do is think about all the different ways to die and wishing I had the power to turn back time. I wish I can go back. I know I can make everything right. I hate the person I made myself to be, so please let me fix it, whether I revert it or let it end. nothing else.
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depression
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Hello!
I am two weeks in on generic ritalin. Its been awesome in helping me and my adhd. I have one side effect though that is such a pain. I know diharrea can happen, normally i felt stomach upset at the start. Now... if I eat i feel sick, even hours later. Has anyone else had this? Im two weeks in, does it get better? My appetite is definitely surpressed so i pnly eat a late lunch and small dinner... now i just dont even want to eat...id love advice
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ADHD
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wanting to start my zoloft either tonight or tomorrow as I am struggling, I just need some encouragement and positive stories.
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OCD
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hey! i'm new to this board but i just needed to get this out somewhere haha. i've just been diagnosed with ptsd because of longterm gaslighting and trauma surrounding my mental illness and i feel so....conflicted about it. On one hand, it's an answer for everything I've been dealing with but on the other hand I'm still in the environment that traumatized me even if my relationship with the people involved has improved. i don't know why, but i feel really guilty for having a diagnosis even though nothing has changed about my situation because one of the main causes is someone that I love very much and live with (my mom). I'm hoping that things will get better when I move out in 6 months because I won't be in the environment as much. Still, it's weird. I...don't really know what to think and I'm sorry if this post is a disorganized mess.
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ptsd
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Like what the title says. I don't know why it became worse, it just hit me, I was doing good, I was calm and controlled
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OCD
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I've been reading into this for a while after I've talked to a lot of people about what I'm dealing with and they have recommended I see a doctor because I might have asperger's or something else on the spectrum. I don't really wanna ask my mom about it though, I don't want her to think I'm trying make problems for myself, I just really like to know what's wrong with me. And it's kind of frustrating knowing there's something going on but I can't do anything about it. I don't go to the doctor all the time and I'm scared if I do tell my doctor they will tell my mom everything, and I don't go to a therapist right now because I haven't got assigned one yet (I've been waiting like 3 months now) idk, does anyone think I should see a doctor?I'm not familiar with testings for this type of stuff
*sorry if this doesn't make sense, I ramble a lot*
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aspergers
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Cant study for hours like other people, EVEN ON THE THINGS THAT I LIKE!! I've always had a bad focusing problem growing up. Is there an easier way to study?
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aspergers
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Does this sound like visual snow syndrome or closed eye hallucinations? Anyone here with OCD, ADHD and Autism experience visual snow syndrome and closed eye hallucinations. Ever since this August I have been seeing the outline/afterimage of things when I close my eyes from trauma of thieves stealing in my neighborhood and checking my security camera. I have been seeing detailed images from memory of my front yard, porch, backyard, and living room. This happens every time I close my eyes and I don’t know how to get rid of those images when I close my eyes. Those images keep me from sleeping and resting. My eyes have been having a hard time closing. The detailed realistic images change if I see the front porch, living room, front yard, and back yard when I close my eyes. I just want to be able to close my eyes and sleep again without seeing those images. How do I stop those closed eye hallucinations? My vision when I open and close my eyes also has floaters and static. When I start to overthink, stress, and obsess over things is especially when the images are more detailed when I close my eyes. I also get aura migraines with zigzags and feel sinus pressure and headaches on the left side of my head above my eyes. I also see cartoon characters and other images that mind starts to stress and focus on when I get stressed and overthink things and it gets me stuck.
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OCD
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I take Adderall IR for my Adhd. I read on one of these threads that some people like to take it before hitting up the gym. I gave it a try last Fri and I absolutely loved it. I was able to focus and actually take my time doing the movements slowly instead of being bored and just rushing through so I can be done already.
Yesterday, I gave it another try.
Here's the thing, any time that I take my med it creates a time window for 4 maybe 5 hours of productivity. Then wears off and I could take a nap if wanted or just relax. No biggy.
On gym day, I take it around 5:30p and hit the gym up around 7p. Takes me an hour to finish . Come home and make a protein smoothie and finish up the remaining things around the house before bed. I get in bed around 10-12p and literally just lay there unable to sleep for hours. Next thing I know it's 5a. No phone. No TV. No other lights or distractions.
It happened last Fri and I thought it was a fluke. Thus trying again. I've never experienced not being able to sleep when my med wear off or even prior at times. Staying up for nearly 40hrs straight with IR meds seems concerning. Even taking my last dose of IR around 4p and not going to the gym doesn't have that affect on me.
I recently switched and prefer going to the gym at night where I can consume more fuel for my body vs going in the a.m. in a fasted state. Again, that was my first two times ever taking it before going to the gym and it being in the evening.
Looking to see if anyone has experienced this with their med and working out?
Any thoughts/ideas would be greatly appreciated
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ADHD
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I’d been seeing a lot of people I know praising my abuser and his actions. Seeing that hurt me a lot and made me really angry. It had started to impede my life knowing I had to be surrounded by people who praise and excuse my abuser. But then I realized it wouldn’t hurt anymore if I just stopped being angry about it, so I did. I’ve just accepted it. And I need to practice taking other people’s perspectives so maybe I should practice thinking about why they feel that way, and maybe they’re right, I don’t know.
My ego mind is telling me this is unhealthy and I’ve given up if I don’t believe it was bad anymore but I think forgiveness probably is healthy. I can’t understand abstract concepts like that anyway so what does it matter.
If you had to constantly see people saying they’d like your abuser to hurt them in a “sexy” way like they famously did to me, you’d turn off your emotions too since its just too tiring to keep getting angry over what you can’t control
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ptsd
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I’m just dead I don’t even do anything yet I have no motivation to do anything it’s 5:34 am I haven’t slept all night I can’t I work a shit job I haven’t been to college in a couple years I just feel lost and fucking lonely like every other post on here I just wish someone was there please I’m just rambling on and I need to make the changes but my goodness it’s so hard I can’t keep faking like I’m alright everyday when I’m not I just don’t ducking know I’m only 21 and I don’t think I’m making it past 26 when my days aren’t anything eventful I just idek I can’t get started I feel like I’m to sad and lonely to do anything I just want to die
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depression
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Anyone else unable to handle ambiguity when reading? I can't move past anything, barely even a word, in a book which I feel I don't understand (just about) precisely. It can get pretty ridiculous. I just find reading frustrating now. How do people read if they don't feel like they are following the author exactly?
I also struggle with wondering whether I'm misunderstanding the author or they are just being too ambiguous.
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OCD
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Hi this may not be completely relevant so sorry if it isn’t but my sister has ocd and I’m just wondering if there’s anything I can do to help. I recently started uni and I think it’s made the ocd a lot worse and so I feel guilty about that. She’s rly rude all the time and I feel like it’s because she’s mad I left. I came home this weekend and she immediately told me to leave when I walked in the room. She’s a little bit younger than me (16) and I’m not dumb, I know she is actually missing me and that’s why she’s acting out but I don’t know how to help.
I’ve tried talking about her ocd but she doesn’t want to talk about it with me. (Except for one time when she told me she’d started seeing things) She’s in therapy now so there’s that at least but she just seems so different to the person she used to be and I was just wondering what I could do.
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OCD
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She's 46 years old and still living with her parents. They are racist and abusive and then she decides to have us mixed kids (she's white and we're half black) so we get mistreated by her fucking parents. I get called an animal, the N word and have to hear them talk shit about black people. And my mom also doesn't want to fucking take her kids anywhere!!! She's too scared to even travel more than 5 miles away. Like wtf was the point of having kids when she can't even afford to live on her own and doesn't wanna do Jack shit with her kids. How is that fucking fair to us? We want to go out and do things. Not be trapped in this toxic house with her racist parents. Yet she doesn't give a fuck. She just sleeps all day long to avoid dealing with anything.
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depression
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Hello my ADHD friends, how are you doing? My first long-term relationship (2 yr 8 mo) just ended yesterday and I guess I'm using this post as a way to organize my experience so I can begin the healing process.
My ex-GF and I met in my 3rd year of university, around the time I started to seek my ADHD diagnosis. It was a great experience, we shared many struggles (recently finding out and supporting her in her own adult ADHD diagnosis), however, with me graduating university in a month and potentially moving away within the next 7-8, our relationship had an ending on it. That being said, the ending of this was sooner than expected and that might be why there's inner turmoil currently.
I'd say what bothers me the most in this divine timing is that Mercury is in Retrograde (smh should've known that)... jk jk, it's that two days ago I was visiting a friend and I think some aspect of my ADHD brain has finally clicked; I've been feeling just an insane amount of the present moment, an overwhelming sense of calm, peace, and tranquility, and for the first time in a very long time I am able to actively detach from my multiple trains of thought and genuinely feel comfortable in my own body/ feel cognitively awake. It's like my synchronization rate with the real world has increased and I feel like it's game over for the neurotypicals once I figure out how to use this new sense.
This breakup is difficult because I've honestly never felt more joy to be alive than this current moment, but I also can feel that I am just unable to grieve as much as needed because of the conflicting emotions.
Anyone experienced in their relationships that there are some things you wish you did, but never could do? I don't know why, but for me, that was a picnic. I always knew that was something she wanted me to plan, however, I just was not able to even with the many reminders.
Overall, I am happy to have had a relationship with her. I am grateful for opportunity telling me not to miss it (the perspective/worldview change), and I am happy that this change allows both of us to work on our own self-development (Accepting ADHDs role in life is a currently big focus while teaching myself to program and making poor progress on my projects for both Masters and Job applications).
​
Summary: It is what it is ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpXsfimrkFo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpXsfimrkFo)), and I no longer feel like I'm on NPC/Bot mode (for my SUD friends, it's like the desire to cope through that mechanism and others no longer exists and holds no sway, Dobby is a free elf). Thank you for reading. Apologies for the weird post flow.
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ADHD
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My dad told me the other day that if he didn't know me and he saw me he'd think "maaaaan that dude looks mean." It kinda clicked something in my head and I looked back through my life, at the thousands of times Ive felt left out at a social event, no one approaching me for conversation, while friends seemed to radiate an aura of approachability. I went back to all the times someone has reacted towards a connotativelyneutral statement from me as if I had attacked them. People thinking I hated them, so often, especially if they have their own insecurities. I realized that all my life my neutral, inexpressive face, the default mode for me, projected a feeling of discomfort to people who didn't know me.
It hurts to be honest. I'm very nice actually and I try to avoid hurting people as much as humanly possible. It just seems a bit unfair that I have to constantly monitor my face because other people misinterpret its base state. I can be bursting with enthusiasm and my face will still be flat and inexpressive. I can be following the most incredible line of thought in my head feeling completely at home and content amidst the theoretical and abstract as others do in social reality, and still I would project unhappiness, meanness, and upset. Nevermind that when I open up and let mt excitement flow throw me, which usually causes me to stim like crazy, I get bewilderment and confusion. It figures. Having asperger's is the process of continually discovering new social deficiencies for which there is no answer but more and more effort that no one sees.
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aspergers
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Hi all,
Been meaning to post this a while…
I’ve worked in finance for the past ten years. Nothing too fancy, mind you. Glorified admin.
My biggest suspicion that something was up was work took me twice as long as my colleagues to complete . This manifested in long hours and working unpaid weekends to catch up. At first, it’s usually mistaken for going above and beyond but as time wears on, questions are asked.
It was never my intention to iron out any personality quirks - all I wanted was to be as efficient as possible in 7.5 hours. Get some of that work-life balance I’ve heard so much about.
This year, between jobs, I was diagnosed at 34 years old. I’ve tried Vyvanse/ Elvanse for the past 6 weeks and made it up to 50 mg , but I don’t feel any difference and been through 20mg all the way up. Going to try something new next week, but not holding out much hope.
I recently started a new job and had a flying start where I’ve stood out, even training new starters, but quickly falling back into old habits and doing extra hours and not even keeping up this time. I’m burning out and it doesn’t usually happen this quickly. Dunno if it’s because I’m not in my 20s anymore but I secretly dream of being a postman and having a simple life.
So, my question is , are there any fields of work where your ADHD isn’t a hindrance, that an office bod like me could slip into? I’m really outgoing and confident, always do my research and not scared of putting in extra work (just not 14 hours a day).
Answers on a postcard, if you’d be so kind. And if anyone’s switched meds and it was the answer, be happy to hear from you.
Thank you.
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ADHD
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I wonder if learning some common theories of OCD can help with understanding one's own personal dilemmas with OCD. It's really interesting the things that OCD could be linked to, especially in regards to our ancestors and relatives in the animal kingdom.
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OCD
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Is anyone else bummed about the Gates divorce? I think he’s clearly one of us and I always thought he was a shining example of how we could have it all. I suspect, from some of the little things I’ve heard, that his aspieness did not help his marriage. Sigh.
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aspergers
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Hello people,
So I told y'all about my first interview and an update about how my job stuff is going now I'm here to update and say I got a job. It isn't at Publix but I am working as a dishwasher for an italian resturant. Which is great because they do provide a meal on shift and plus I'm making more per hour and I'm happy. But just thought it would be nice to let yall know. Bye
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aspergers
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I have graduated with a bachelors degree in history with a minor in political science. Around July I got a job with target while I’m job searching but no matter where I look it’s always “needs x years experience” on the applications. I have no experience because I literally just graduated and I didn’t have time to do internships or volunteering to get some experience. With target I don’t get a good consistent schedule so I’m not able to get volunteering under my belt. I keep thinking about how I went to college to get a bachelors degree and all I got is a lousy job at target and I’m constantly thinking that I’m a disappointment to my family, especially my aunt who was my co-signer for my student loans. I have a friend who is about to graduate with her masters and entry level for her is $60,000 a year and I’m super happy for her. I love that she’s going to be doing what she has wanted to since she was a kid but I can’t help but be jealous that she’s getting to be able to do what her degree is for while I’m just working a retail job. I feel like shit for thinking this way but I just can’t help it. I am trying to get interviews for jobs that I would want to do with my degree but it just brings me down more and more I think about this and the longer I go without a message back from these job offers. It’s like a huge spiral and I’m just so tired of being this sad and disappointed in myself.
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depression
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Looking back, my parents always told me I had no common sense, but plenty of book sense. Apparently I made the easy stuff hard but made the hard stuff look easy. I was a straight A student, didn't seem to struggle with school, but, I guess I couldn't get things accomplished around the house or would ask what they felt were "dumb" questions. Now that I am more aware of ADHD-PI and executive dysfunction, I wonder if I was displaying those traits back then only to be considered lazy and/or having no common sense. This would have been early to mid 1980s when ADHD wasn't really talked about too much so I'm sure it wasn't thought about by my parents.
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ADHD
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I feel like I'm having an identity crisis. I've been recently diagnosed with adult ADHD and as much as I like my sense of humor, interests creativity, I hate that executive dysfunction has stopped me for the past 24yrs to be the person I had potential to have been. On top of that meds and life in general is stifling the motivation to do what I love. I'm a professional dancer, I used to do it every second of every day. Now music doesn't even resonate the same emotionally, I have no energy or motivation to do what I love. My relationship to so much of what is around me has changed and I don't have an emotional outlet anymore. I feel genuinely at a loss. Who the fuck even am I anymore? I feel in despair...
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ADHD
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I don't know how to talk about ocd with my family or friends, just thinking about it makes me lazy... The only person I talk to constantly about is my boyfriend
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OCD
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Does anyone feel the same way? I recently made a big career move by getting a new job with a much higher pay, and what do you know, within days after I'm starting to get false memory OCD and anxiety about terrible things I might have done in the past that would cause me to lose my job. All started the day after I got the offer, life was bliss up until this moment. It's like my OCD is trying to stop me from being happy, telling me that I don't deserve success or happiness.
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OCD
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In recent months, I’ve had a ton of anxiety and stress over what I am going to do when I move out. I am 19F and I graduate college may 2022. Right now, my therapist and Psych CRNP are huge influences in my life in terms of how I manage my ADHD and other mental health issues. When I move an hour and a half away, I honestly am so anxious as to what I will do. Will I have to get a different doctor for my meds? Can I just keep the one I have and maybe do check ups on video call? Also, I don’t think I want a different therapist. My therapist is the only person who really understands me and we share so much in common; I don’t think anyone will be able to reciprocate how she helps me. She’s also been my therapist since I was 15 years old and a sophomore in high school. I expressed this concern to her and she said that we could video call. My only concern with that is I don’t want my bf to overhear what I am talking about to my therapist since it is private (we will be living together). It’s not like I don’t trust him, because I do and I tell him almost everything, but I think it would just be uncomfortable having somebody else hear what I talk to my therapist about. Also, I’m anxious about having to find a good PCP down where I’m going to live since I don’t have one.
I am just not ready to be an adult I guess. My parents haven’t taught me really anything because they’ve kind of never cared about teaching me important stuff like that. They haven’t really cared as much about me in general, but that’s a different post for a different time. I just know that I need to move out ASAP because I can’t stand living with them (my parents) anymore. I also need to search for a new job and that is really stressful. I feel like I have no time and that time is running out and I need to figure everything out so that I don’t mess everything up.
Anyways, do you guys have any general advice? If you have moved out, how did you deal with therapy and issues with meds? What are some things I should know??
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ADHD
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Recently I've been feeling burned out. i find it hardest to work during this time of the year, with the stress of the holidays and exams, plus the seasonal depression... and of course, adhd. It just makes it hard to do anything other than procrastinate. But today, i finally managed to keep my mind on one track and I installed a shaving mirror in my bathroom. My mom has a bunch of little projects for around the house, and since I'm good with tools I'm the one who volunteers to get them done. It was an easy job, just required that i drill some screws into the wall. But just being able to get up and finding the motivation to DO it made it feel like a huge win and really improved my mood.
Anyone else have any personal wins like this recently?
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ADHD
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i’m a few days back into taking 40mg vyvanse after trying a couple others. i’ve been undersleeping massively so hyperactivity has been worse but i managed to get 11 hours last night & now it’s 1:30pm & surely too late to take them? i forgot about this issue when i oversleep (which i’m prone too) how late do y’all take vyvanse?
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ADHD
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I've been waking up every night in a panic, shaking violently, only being successfully calmed down by benzodiazepines.
I requested I be put back onto Zoloft as my "anxiety randomly got really bad again".
While talking with my friend about these attacks I noticed a pattern that made me realize that these attacks feel *exactly* like when I was initially traumatized, and I likely have been re-traumatized.
I don't have access to a therapist and currently live with my abuser (with no way out right now).
How can I process this?
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ptsd
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So my main theme is p OCD. I think I have hocd, tocd, ZOCD and a lot of others. So basically what happens is themes change really fast. Like a second I'm worried I'm gay next min I'm worried I'm a transgender and repeat. Is that normal?
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OCD
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What activities would you do if you had a day without OCD?
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OCD
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i’m not diagnosed with ocd bcs i’m unable to be diagnosed but i’ve shown many symptoms throughout my life such as hand washing, constant reorganizing etc. I’ve heard about pure ocd but i’m wondering if this could be it. Basically i’ve always struggled with thoughts about aging since i was 10 i’m still a minor btw and also religious harmful thoughts but i noticed it’s gotten worse these past few weeks as i’ve become more stressed with school and such. I cant stuff thinking about these thoughts and constantly convincing myself i’m gonna go to hell or having trouble dealing with the fact i’m aging even though i’m still young so it doesn’t make very much sense? these thoughts are constantly on my mind and ruining my days and i have to seek reassurance often to feel better or constantly reassure myself just for it to come back and bother me a couple hours later and cause me a lot of distress and i’m so sick of it sorry if this doesn’t make much sense i just genuinely want to know if it is or not
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OCD
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I’ve had hocd before pretty bad, I still have it when I see a trigger sometimes, it goes up and down and goes and comes but yesterday I randomly thought “what If I like trans women”, now I’m not transphobic but it just feels weird knowing they used to be a man and I’m scared their penis somehow turns me on when it should be a turn off and the other parts should be the turn on. I searched up trans porn here on Reddit to see if it turns me on and I’m scared, I looked at the penis and got erect and kept testing, I went throughout the day thinking about it non stop, kept on testing in my head and I heard somewhere that liking girl sex positions means you could be trans. I kept testing it out and getting erect and I’m even more worried now. I keep thinking if I like it and picture it and break the whole thing down in my head and think “ew wtf” but it takes me effort to come across that thought, idk if that’s me in denial, why am I instantly not disgusted by that stuff? The testing position part has been going on for a month but the other only started yesterday.
I kept searching for an answer and couldn’t find anything but Quora and one guy said it means you’re bi. Please help
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OCD
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Somehow I even have a hard time doing/starting the things that I am super interested in.
trying to be a functional human, am dealing with motivation issues and am in need of strategies on how you get things rolling.
SUGGESTIONS SO VERY MUCH APPRECIATED ❤️🔥
p.s. i’ve already done the “be super hard on yourself and motivate through fear/failure” thing and don’t want to do that anymore. help help lol
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ADHD
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My mother just got angry at me for making her feel upset because I feel like a complete failure. She's always trying to tell me that I need to love myself, that I should be my best cheerleader, but I don't see things that way. I'm the only one who knows how much of a failure I really am and I can't just lie to myself and say I'm perfectly good enough. I'm not good enough, I'll never be good enough; no matter how much weight I lose, how many social helpers or groups I get help from, I'll never, ever be good enough. It feels like she thinks I'll magically get better if go to some Asperger's help group, but how can they help me? They can't make it so I can actually work enough to make more than $250 max a week, they can't make it so someone actually finds me attractive and wants to be with me, they can't make my friends actually want me around. All they can do is tell me the same shit I learned in school from social workers... I seriously, honestly wish I was just never born... Then no one would have to work about my absolute bullshit...
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aspergers
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Hello I guess,
This is my first time posting here and I don't know what to expect and my English isn't great so please apologize but I want to share some experience I made in a mental hospital because I feel like people still think only crazy people go there with sustain jackets and shit like this.
some background information I was diagnosed with major depression and general anxiety disorder, as well I used to self-harm and was really suicidal (already had a few attempts) but this time it was different the only way I could explain it that I lost complete control over my body and was just watching how my depression took over and tried to kill me, I took a knife and cut my wrist there was a lot of blood it was quite deep, but luckily I could convince my self that this was not the way I wanted to go, and I call the ambulance who quickly arrived and saved me. I went to the hospital and they said that I am a risk to myself and others so they wanted to send me to a physiatry ward, I agreed that this would be the right decision( i was 17 at that time) the doctors were shocked that I wanted to go, I wanted to get better and saw that as my opportunity. So my mum took me there filled all the papers out and left.
There I was I still remember everything like it is in front of my right now, the staff was really nice and tried the best to make me feel safe but that changed quickly because as I soon as I entered the corridor the first thing I saw was this girl screaming on a bed fixed with handcuffs to the bed, and just screaming her lungs out and saying that she wants to die and that we are all evil and shit like this. I was shocked because she ment it and her scream was full of pain and I just wanted to leave again but I couldn't. When I was given my room ( I shared with two other boys) it was kind of like a prison conversation as you see them in movies 'Its the new kid, what are you in for' this kind of shit I explained why I was there and quickly got to bed. The next morning we all needed to wake up at 7 am for check-in and we all needed to go to the main room for check-in. It was then were I met my old classmate, probably not where you want to meet and old classmate but at least I knew someone.
This hole place reminded me so much as a prison everything was locked down and you weren't allowed to go anywhere without supervision, outside was surrounded with a 3-meter high fence with barbed wire so no one could escape. It was really scary to be there, literally every single right you had outside was taken away from you, you weren't allowed to go on the toilet alone, always a member of staff with you, werent allowed to go outside and only allowed to have few things in your room and regular room checks as well, every week drug and blood tests and check for a pulse and shit like this.
But this was all nothing compared to the things I saw and heard, it was the second day and we were eating and this girl I was talking to seemed quiet but nice but it was all to change in a second, we were cleaning and she had a cup in her hand looked at me with this face I will never forget ( the pure pain and hopelessness in her face) she took the cup smashed in on the table took a piece and starting to cut her wrist and throat, there was a lot of blood and screaming I was frozen at one place staff was running around trying to stop the bleeding, I still hear the screams in the night and I have constantly flashbacks. This sadly wasn't the only incident I should experience the next days, ne day I was going to shower and I was walking in and then there was just this girl hanging from the ceiling (she hanged herself) the member of staff needed to go somewhere else I guess and left her alone for about 30 seconds, I wanted to call someone but my voice was gone and I couldn't say anything I couldn't move it was I frozen at my spot (luckily she survived). there were many other things that happened and I cannot forget them but that is a story for another day.
when I left I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and I am still struggling to cope with it its been almost a year and. I still have problems sleeping in the night because I still hear those screams and see the picture in my head, it's like there were branded in my mind. I tried to tell my parents but there are to busy with work and I don't want to tell my friends because it could traumatize them as well and maybe they would see me different so I am going through this alone. I have become a strong drinker ( I drink about 4 beers a night and somedays a third of vodka bottle just to go to sleep) because I hate going to sleep.
|
ptsd
|
This is my first ever stimulant prescription. I am about as nervous as I am excited. My worst fear is that this, like so many other changes in my life, will not work out. Do any veteran adhd'ers have some advice on what my next steps should be? I know my whole life will not turn around at the drop of a hat, and I also know stimulants can be a little overwhelming with the euphoria at the beginning. Basically what I am asking is what are some reasonable goals I can set for myself in the next few weeks/months so that I can get the most out of my medication? My head is always so full of ideas of what I want to do, or what I ought to be doing to better myself, but these things rarely work out into long-term habits.
|
ADHD
|
Well, i kinda have been diagnosed with adhd
i have plenty of symptoms, and my therapist and psychiatrist told me, that it pretty surely is.
They told me, they will give me medication, not sure which one tho, told my mom
she was like
no
medication is bad
try meditating, just concentrating, etc
how tf should i explain that i cant do thst shit
i cant
no matter how often i try
i tried so many fucking things it makes me angry
how tf can she be sure that a planner or some meditation would help me?
Sry for cursing
it just really gets me angry
i am in my last school years and i wont make it without meds
|
ADHD
|
I don't think, I really need advice or anything but I just felt the need to find out how I feel and why. So this is rather an insight in my brain than anything else. Feel free to skip, read or comment. Do as you wish. :)
To give a bit of context: We got to know each other about three years ago when we started attending the same courses at university. We both joined a large study group, even though we couldn't stand most of the people. Eventually, we decided to cut off these people but it didn't really matter because all of them dropped out anyway.
We both got along very well. We like video games, have a similar taste in music and books and share a similar sense of humor. Also, we could talk to each other about personal topics and work well together in partner assignments.
While she is a rather organized person, she tends to miss out on deadlines and has trouble to work sometimes due to health problems. So, we had like an unspoken agreement. I took over the larger part of the workload of our assignments and supported her as much as she needed. In return, she would help me manage the social world of university. She is no extrovert or overly talkative but it somehow worked. During lunch breaks, we ate with our fellow students and she'd pay attention, I'd use the right words to be understood and wouldn't say anything irrelevant or inappropriate. Also, she would tell me if I missed any social cues which happened rather often. Whenever we had to work with other students or deal with professors, she gave me a little briefing or took care of it when I couldn't. I understand that this arrangement is probably not healthy and wouldn't have lasted forever but it worked for both of us and I learned a bit from it.
As it became clear, the pandemic would be a long-term situation and the university introduced online courses, she moved back to her parents. We still saw each other in the online courses, worked together on assignments and would talk over Discord. During the same time, she broke up with her boyfriend who lived here.
She expected to be able to finish university with online courses but they are held on campus this semester. She has no intention of moving back here and will probably drop out very soon, even though she already has passed most of her courses. Instead, she is likely to start again at a different university after she moves in with her new boyfriend.
Surprisingly, I can deal with the professors and other students, although it has gotten much harder now. On the other hand, I still miss her being around to talk and just make fun of things as we often did. I try to reach out to her and message her around once a month but she tends to forget to reply. I'm not mad or anything because I know, she is busy traveling between her parents' and her boyfriends' home, planning the move, dealing with bureaucracy, trying to figure out how she gets going in university all over again and everything. I just miss her.
|
aspergers
|
At times when I run into a problem and can't work it out I will use what I call "sideways thinking" - as in instead of heading at something head on, come at it from another angle.
I use this all the time in my work. For example I was on a issue with people unable to access some online resources. The people working it could not find the reason, just the signs of the problem. They had tried recycling and the problem was still ongoing, low level but had been happening for a few days. When I came on and saw all the confusion and lack of direction I decided to come at it from another angle, which in this case was asking instead of looking at the systems and applications, why not see if there is some common element to all those being impacted - is there something special with these people? An lookie - we found it was an issue with a setting that was only getting tripped when the rare condition of these people came up.
So anyone else when stumped take a moment and then try to come at things from a different direction attempting to gather additional insight?
I also look at it as a form of self mental Aikido - taking the direction of my thoughts and mind and changing them to try to find a better way.
|
aspergers
|
Sitting down, eating breakfast.
I take my meds out of the bottle to look at the pretty blue on the shell of capsules.
I put them all away, except for one, as I'm going to take it (as prescribed).
I think to myself "better not wash it down with hot tea, let me grab my water bottle" (keeping in mind that I often just dry swallow my pills).
I get back to my desk, with my water bottle, and continue to eat my breakfast and listen to my math lecture.
10 minutes later I think "I better take my pill"
BUT now my pill is gone!
Did I take it? Did I lose it?
No idea.
Lesson learned: TAKE THE MEDS RIGHT AWAY
|
ADHD
|
over the past week or so, i have just started to put together the pieces, or symptoms of my behaviors being consistent with ASD. it has been a hard week, barely sleeping, my normal schedule has been messed up by inclement weather. it's nice reading posts of others in similar situations. when i first started to see the answer to my questions, i felt very defeated and stupid. i feel like everyone knew except for me. and i still feel that way. i've always been told i was weird, don't fit in, awkward etc. but it's just starting to hit me why and i can't help but feel as if everyone around me already knew. hoping to seek out a constructive community; online and irl. please reach out to me if you feel you could help me navigate this journey as i seek professional help. thank you
|
aspergers
|
When I was a child my parents said that I would try to adopt every stray animal that wandered into our yard. The species didn’t matter.
As an adult, I’m particularly fond of my feline friends. There exists an unspoken relatability. 🙃
|
aspergers
|
Hi! I just got "evaluated and diagnosed" with ADHD. My Doctor prescribed me 5 MG twice a day, then 10 MG twice a day (when I'm comfortable) of immediate release adderal.
I'm nervous/scared!! I've been misdiagnosed with bipolar and on horrible medications the last 6 months. I'm scared this won't help either! (And I really, really need it to).
Any advice on when / how to take it? How should I feel on the 5 MG vs the 10 MG? Anything to look out for?
|
ADHD
|
that’s it, i just feel like nobody likes me. i have friends but when i’m around them, i just feel alone and i feel like i’m just an annoyance to them. same with my parents. i just don’t think i ever contribute anything to relationships, no matter what people tell me. ive felt this way for so long and recently it’s gotten so much worse and driven me close to suicide even. i hate myself and everyone hates me, and i’ve never done anything to hurt people.
|
depression
|
So guys had a college assignment on the play sweat, naturally instead of reading it and answering the short response question I was given I did research into the psychological effects poverty has on the working class and wrote a 700 word paper on it, the way sweat portrays the pressure of having a stable life on people is really interesting, to the point where even lifelong g friends can result to violence and even racial discrimination, for example in the play a character is given a promotion over her African American friend these to people have been working together for years but this one event combined with the pressure of society portrayed in the story gave rise to these new emotions, theatre is really amazing. Health science major btw,
|
ADHD
|
I've heard good things about the book, but everywhere I look says *currently not available* (or something similar) for the eBook version. I have no aversion to getting a physical copy, but I don't live in the US, and the international shipping takes like a month to arrive...
Thanks!
|
OCD
|
He's 7 years younger than me. We don't talk that often, but when he does, it can get annoying, but I recognize that's exactly the same way I'm likely annoying to others. He talks suddenly on topics I wasn't sure or interested in. His way of talking is awkward and brusque. He quickly runs out of things to talk about. When I hang out with him I cringe at his jokes and social manners. He's often boring. He laughs at things I don't. I often have to tell him "No (brother), that's not how to do things." Most of our hanging out is at home with the parents a few times a year. Mostly me going 'Yes. No. No. Yes.' to his conversations.
None of this is his fault of course. I hate my Aspergers, not myself, and I don't hate my brother, but his Aspergers. I hate being around him because his Aspergers reminds me of mine and how it affects my own social skills and relationships. I likely exude the same cringey air he does. I probably talk like he does. Even though I'm 7 years older than him and have improved a lot of my social skills, I still recognize so much of my Aspergers in his, and I hate it.
|
aspergers
|
In summer of 2019 my dad passed away and i witnessed my mother have a stroke while in the car with her. Then in November of the same year my boyfriend ended up getting arrested for attempted murder and it really messed me up for a while. This summer I was there when my mom had a yet another stroke and was there when she passed away 12 days later. Small things like words or noises (esp. sirens) set me off and i can’t think for like 20 min and a few times i ended up crying from said “triggers” so hard i threw up. I’m also only 16
|
ptsd
|
Have been working on being vulnerable with a new group- opening up more, trying more etc. this was hard and painful and scary for me- but I’m trying to improve etc. I’ve been starting to feel like maybe I finally have a group.
Few days ago, I get completely attacked - even tho I’m sure they saw it as “teasing”. They ripped apart a meal I made made and posted. I was proud of it and wanted to share- people regularly do this so it wasn’t out of the blue. I’ve been having a rough patch while having to help family with stuff- so I’ve been trying to not let my mental health slide too much. I shared and thought nothing of it. I saw the responses and it was things like “I would hate to eat that!” And asking I hate the family member I had made it for. This went on for quite a few comments from a few different people and their replies etc.
I was crushed. Not only how it went over but that I was finally starting to think of it as a group I could be in only to have them kick my teeth in while I was emotionally down. I know I’m being sensitive…. But still
They all are aware I have depression/ anxiety/ issues feeling like I don’t have a place in the world and I’ve never seen them do this to anyone else…. Newer or older members.
Since the post, I haven’t posted anything. I wish I could just get over it. But I can’t. I feel stupid for thinking I had a chance at maybe have found my group.
I feel dumb for trying to grow, letting people in and being vulnerable.
They are so supportive and caring to one another and new people. I am too! But when it comes to me- they would rather throw insults at me than praise or even not say anything at all.
I’ve never had even a cross word with anyone in the group either! And people say how much I am liked there- then this happens….
I’m so alone.
Update: I tried to discuss things after I calmed down and I was told that I want people to only handle me with kit gloves. (Not true- I never have anyone treat me that way and I wish one person would! ). But I know if it was the other way around, everyone would have the persons back. And that I’m too sensitive yet people have been banned from the group for being rude…
Somehow, I’m pretty sure no matter what happens I will be blamed.
Yesterday and today have been very dark (trigger: SW)
And I have been having passive sui idealation pretty bad)
|
depression
|
In 8th grade a girl that i was friends with was drunk and offered me nudes. I believe I was drunk too and it was one of my first times drinking so i said yes. I look back to that moment and start to wonder if i took advantage of her. I forget if i even had much to drink. What if i didn’t even drink anything at all? I keep having these thoughts and they are all very convincing. Someone just please help me. I am genuinely at my wits end.
|
OCD
|
I always complain about how terrified I am of approaching people I have crushes on and just talking to them. I always say that I'd prefer if someone came up to me instead and talked to me, but whenever that does happen (which isn't often, but still) I get super terrified and nervous anyway and I feel trapped. I'm way in over my head and I don't know what I'm doing. That doesn't just go for relationships, that goes for everything in life. I am scared, and rightfully so. I'm gonna fail everything I just know it. The only time I have recently ever felt actually happy and not completely anxious and stuff is when I was super drunk on New Year's Eve. I want to get drunk again. I want to be happy and confident again.
|
aspergers
|
Than to argue with other aspies lol
What's your definition of stimming?
Can authentic yawning be a stim? My guess is NO, because its not a comforting thing that you can do REPETITIVELY.. right?.. what's your take on yawning being a stim?
|
aspergers
|
Out of nowhere i was petting my dog alone amd felt my eyes watering, it feels amazing again tk cry!
|
depression
|
Today I had no obsessive thoughts. I enjoyed my day at the movies and went out to eat. It’s been awhile since I’ve gone anywhere. When I came home I rested.
|
OCD
|
Hey guys!
I was wondering what are your intrusive thougtrs like? Are they also in first person or in third ( like you get intrusive thought in your inner voice “ throw a phone into river” ?
|
OCD
|
One of my biggest compulsions is immediately desperately trying to distract myself. I don't know what to do during a panic attack that isn't a compulsion.
|
OCD
|
My mom started becoming mentally ill when I was 13, my dad kept abusing her and she eventually snapped and became full blown. And he never got her the treatment, he just existed in denial for years. She wanders off outside and “talks to ghosts” and he continues to abuse her as if she was still sane and can even understand what he’s saying.
I kept begging him to take her to the hospital and he never did, and he now tells me to take her on walks as if that’s going to cure an illness. I don’t want to, it kills me inside. And now I have dreams that she’s on her last few moments saying “when it’s your turn you’ll be strong too.”
I’m now 26 and so depressed I want to die, I FAILED her. I should’ve been there but I can’t even take care of myself because I’m unraveling from all the trauma. It’s so fucking unfair, there’s a human being suffering so greatly and she never got treatment.
Please tell me what to do. Is this my fault?
Help me.
|
ptsd
|
DISCLAIMER: I am not asking for a diagnosis, I am just wondering if this is a common trait in those with Aspergers.
Hello, let me start this off by saying that I have not been tested for ASD, but I am trying to get tested soon because I believe I am on the spectrum.
I was curious if having a fear of driving is a common issue in the Aspergers community? I have always been very scared about driving and avoid it all costs, reason being I am very worried I will accidentally hurt myself or someone else because I often get confused. Idk if that makes sense, but the reason I have never been very good at sports is because I have always gotten confused about the rules, and have a hard time keeping track of everything that’s happening. To me, when I’m driving I feel the same way, and it feels almost...irresponsible in a sense, to allow myself to drive.
I’m sorry if this is confusing, offensive, or inappropriate to post here. Just a general question for some guidance.
EDIT: oh my goodness thank you all for so many responses, I did not expect this!! This sub is truly the best, I appreciate everyone so much! :)
|
aspergers
|
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