body stringlengths 51 39.8k | subreddit stringclasses 5 values |
|---|---|
Since starting Strattera I feel exhausted all the time, and my concentration is much worse. I can't keep focused on anything. I spend most days in bed because I'm so tired. It's so frustrating, I felt like I was actually doing well at college this year and now that's completely shot because I'm too tired and distractible to work.
I've been on Strattera for nearly two weeks (a week on 10mg, almost a week on 18mg). I've seen people talking about only feeling the positive effects 4 weeks in- is this a common experience? Has anybody had awful side effects that went away?
At this point I don't know if it's worth sticking with my meds- I'm not allowed stimulants because of mental health issues, so this is my only option. | ADHD |
Imagine you‘re reading an article online. You do your best to stay focused and process what you are reading.
But after every 2nd sentence or so you read, a pop-up shows up. However you can‘t just close it and continue reading. Instead you look at the pop-up for a few minutes until you realize that you‘re not interested in it and you were supposed to read the article. You close the pop-up and continue reading, but a few seconds later, another one pops up and you do the same thing.
ADHD distractions are (at least for me) never external (like the clishe „Ooh a squirrel“) but always interal thoughts that distract me from my task until I realize what I should be doing.
If you were struggeling to explainwhat ADHD feels like to others, I hope this helps | ADHD |
I don’t have the mental energy to do the research. I have no health insurance currently but need to try a new SSRI medication. How can I affordably do this? | depression |
I’ve dealt with general anxiety for most my life, but through therapy have learned to cope with and minimize it. Although I still deal with anxiety, I don’t feel like it’s much worse than the average persons now and I’m feeling the best I ever have. Over the years I’ve also displayed symptoms of ADHD, but always attributed it to just having a bad memory and other things. My mom was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and it made me start to rethink my symptoms. I’ve been seeing a new therapist and mentioned my symptoms to her and asked for her opinion. She told me she couldn’t give me an ADHD diagnosis until I had been on SSRIs for my anxiety for at least a year, then she’d revisit it. I don’t feel my anxiety is bad enough to warrant SSRIs and don’t understand why she won’t consider if I have ADHD or not unless I go on them. My mom also suffers from anxiety far worse than mine and has never taken medicine, but got her diagnosis with no problem. Has anyone else experienced anything like this or would understand why my therapist would feel this way? I’m fairly positive I have ADHD but I don’t want to go on SSRIs as I feel my anxiety doesn’t warrant it. | ADHD |
I don’t get why I’m still here or what the point of any of this is. Being productive doesn’t help nothing helps. I hate myself. I think I’m going to jump into the train soon, and pray it’s a quick death | depression |
Hello! I’m curious if there are any hacks that works for anyone that not all people know?
Because I’m still trying out things and i want to find out more hacks that could help me/us in the long run. I asked this because I’m not taking any meds because of personal reasons and I don’t want my brain to be dependen to it.
Any comments/help will be appreciated! | ADHD |
My dad keeps telling my that I’m slightly depressed, and I have just thought that the way I’ve been feeling for the last 4 years is normal.
These are apparently the symptoms to a mild depression according to healthline.com which almost all applies to me.
1. irritability or anger
2. hopelessness
3. feelings of guilt and despair
4. self-loathing
5. a loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed
6. difficulties concentrating at work
7. a lack of motivation
8. a sudden disinterest in socializing
9. aches and pains with seemingly no direct cause (i dont experience this)
10. daytime sleepiness and fatigue
11. insomnia
12. appetite changes (i dont experience this)
13. weight changes (i dont experience this)
14. reckless behavior, such as abuse of alcohol and drugs, or gambling
Isn’t this just the way the majority feels? Arent almost everybody mildy depressed then?
I dont know anything about the diagnosis, but i have adhd. Always thought that it was bs but whenever i hear people talking bout the symptoms, i cant help but connect them to some of the symptoms of mild depression.
Am i depressed or whats up? | depression |
going to my first psychiatric session very soon after suffering from obsessive thinking and what is considered real event ocd. this has been going on for 5 months and i’m not sure if it’s too late to reach out or not my mind tells me it is but i wanna tech out idc anymore anyways i feel like i genuinely do not understand the concept of anything that has to do with life especially the concept of fucking death, time, place, family and literally anything. it’s giving me paranoia and serious schizophrenia/psychosis/fucking i have become insane and crazy ocd and i legit believe it.y’all don’t understand the piercing sharp pain i have in my head i could mistake it for a brain tumor jesus. also i have a question that is very important and has been giving me intense paranoia, will i ever mistake my paranoid obsessive thoughts for memories? and actually believe they happened? and like traumatize myself from just thoughts? and do u think a psychiatrist can help me out | OCD |
I (16m) have been getting a lot of pedophilia thoughts for a very long time (+2 years) don't get me wrong, I never touched a child in a sexual way, and never will, I also never watched child porn, and won't, i will never act upon it, but i always have these thoughts and it depresses me, i always try to fight it since I really really hate pedos, I acknowledge how bad what I'm doing, this is why I need your help, sometimes looking at kids just turns me on, and i fucking hate it, I can't control it, how do i change that? I am desperate, I can not book a therapist since I'm under 18 and I don't have enough money. Please do not judge me since I hate what am doing and am trying to change, and I will not do anything to a child. | OCD |
I was prescribed additional anxiety medication which I take as needed.
It is the strangest feeling to have ocd thoughts without the physical anxiety. And it confuses me.
For context, I have a fear of going to hell, but not from the things a regular Christian would think, more like unlucky things more ocd like thoughts.
To add, I don’t believe in Christianity in the slightest. And I’ve spent a lot of time learning about religion and I can honestly say I do no believe in hell.
So now here I am:
- logically aware that hell is not real
- having zero physical anxiety
Yet I still feel compelled to do my rituals to “avoid hell”
I have sat with this and really tried to find the answer within myself and the only reasons I can come up with are:
- I simply don’t want the intrusive thought in my mind, regardless of anxiety
- I’m just ingrained into the habit of ocd from decades of doing whatever it asks
I’m frustrated because, for once, I feel like i could walk away from ocd but I continue choosing not to
I know I don’t have any specific questions but if anyone can relate or has thoughts I’d love to hear them | OCD |
Right now I work as a part time art instructor and I’m about to start a 9-5 job too so I would work from 9-5 then teach from 7-9 on some nights and the weekends The 9-5 is in a field I currently plan on staying in for a while and I’m terrified I’m going to mess things up. Also I’m trying to get meds soon so how the hell am I going to do that if I’m going to be working damn near every hour of the day? How do people with 9-5s go to appointments or cook and clean?? I’m just not excited about this at all. I mean this is what I wanted but now I’m not sure I can handle it. Also I will have very little time to take care of myself. I’m scared I’m going to spiral. What am I getting myself into? | ADHD |
I find my intrusive thoughts don’t bother me as much when I’m with friends that I love or when I’m working on something and my mind is kept busy. My compulsions are mostly mental. If the thought hits hard I’ll zone out and start ruminating/neutralising but generally if I’m kept in a conversation it tends to be relatively ok. When I’m on my own the compulsions are much harder to resist, does this resonate? | OCD |
hey so i just started therapy for my anxiety but i have yet to talk about a certain traumatic experience.
i'd like some advice on how to handle it.
when i was young a relative only slightly older than me used me, sexually, several times. growing up i always believed i was also at fault for giving in, but it was because i didn't want him telling anyone. my mom ended up finding out and even though she was rightly furious, she didn't know how to properly handle the situation and didn't get help for either of us. now i suffer from horrible anxiety and depression and think about it often to this day, yet my mom is confused as to why i act the way i do. it's like she forgot it ever happened. which sucks considering how often i think about it or have nightmares about it.
for several personal reasons i will not be bringing this up to my mom, and i'm horrified to even say it out loud especially to my therapist. not to mention i still live at home and my therapy sessions are via zoom, so i'd like to be discreet about it.
i'm asking for any kind of advice here because im sitting in bed crying thinking about how things could be different. this hasn't happened in a long time. anything helps, even general encouragement. | ptsd |
had another dream about being severely depressed, it felt like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I was with my mom and brother, she was living in a house that was very hot, then I was about to leave then I decided to call her and asked why she’s staying in that house with those people. After the call I sat down, noticed I was alone, then I thought about how sad life is and how I don’t see any point of it all. That was just normal regular thoughts and shit. Then it felt as if I had sunken deeper into my thoughts, literally like I fell in a hole in my mind. Well it was only for about a half second then I quickly awoke myself. In that half second I felt so alone and so many horrible emotions. I can’t describe it but it’s like a deep, deep, sadness. Not like losing someone you love, or anything like that, deeper. I saw myself contemplating suicide if I stayed in there too long, it felt like if I had fallen to the bottom there would be no way to get myself out. I felt like a burden to myself and the world. I felt part of that the past week, but nothing like that, it is so hard to explain. I just don’t understand it, maybe it was just a dream thing. But it felt like it had real life consequences if I had stayed in there any longer, I felt so depressed and uneasy. If I wanted to draw it it would be a hole in my thoughts that I was falling through. But my physical body is still there, like an empty shell experiencing all the pain at once. Without any visible signs. I felt heavy, like moving was just so much work. I don’t understand how a second in that state of mind felt so long. I’ve been depressed before but it was nothing compared to this. This felt eternal, this felt like it would be my life forever. Both times I felt this, there was a trigger thought… something I thought of before I I started feeling this depression. I forgot what it was because I was writing so much. But I think it was an outlook of my life as a whole, I want to think about it and remember it. But it feels like if I remember it perfectly I’ll fall for good. It’s kind of really hard to think of. It’s like a single thought that summarized my life, all the negative parts of it, and my fears. Like I saw it all at once. Kind of like thinking of a single word and it connotes all those different things in your head at once. FUCKKKKKKKK. I’m gonna just go play the game. | depression |
Hey, I just joined the club *officially* after years of suspicion, whoo! I'm adjusting to meds and in the process of getting my doctor to write a note for my university to put on file. However, I currently have access to a special bursary for students with disabilities because of some previous diagnoses as well, sooo what would you request funding for as someone with ADHD?
Currently, I'm considering asking if I could apply for one or both of these:
* a standing desk (I get restless by the afternoon and I find walks become less practical as Canadian weather sets in + my current desk is very small and the visual clutter is endless)
* smartwatch (I've heard they're excellent for reminders) & my phone doesn't work for such because I often lose it LOL
I already have an Ipad (very grateful) and find it helpful for notes.
*TLDR:* What assistive technologies/tools do you use to help manage your ADHD? | ADHD |
I've worked as a Cart Retriever for 3 years now and at this point the job is blegh. I'm also a college student majoring CS for programming and I even have a certification from a small boot camp I took a while back. However it's been really hard for me to enter the IT field so I may have to work on more certifications on the side. Point being I'd like to know of any jobs that you guys are currently working and any suggestions for a side job or even something that can really benefit me with what I'm studying. | aspergers |
When executive dysfunction/depression hits me at an all time high, showering for me easily goes out the window. Living with roommates makes it harder because it means having to pick out somehing to wear right after the shower instead of walking out with just a towel on.
Whenever I couldn't find my towel/can't figure out what to wear/cannot move out of bed, I've been trying to dart towards the bathrobe and say fuck it, head empty ! 🤯
I gotta put more trust in being thoughtless and trusting the process. It helps quite a bit when when overwhelmed 😅
Something like [Rockan](https://www.ikea.com/ca/en/cat/bathrobes-slippers-39269/) from Ikea helps lot because it's literally a towel you can wear :) If anyone else has tips like this please feel free to share. I'm hyperfixating on tactics right now 🥴 | ADHD |
I have been professionally diagnosed with OCD. When I was younger I used to wash my hands to such a degree that the skin on my wrists would become dried out so much so that when I bent my wrist the skin would crack and bleed.
I have gotten a lot better since then. Like a lot better.
However I still have OCD. It is chronic after all. It doesn't rule my life, but it does affect it.
My OCD has changed over time. I no longer obsess about hand washing. Instead these days I tend to ruminate. I remain fixed on a problem to the point I cannot move on until it is solved and get anxious and a feeling in my stomach until it is. Usually, these topics are political/economic in nature (check my post history, it consists almost entirely of questions, arguments, and attempts to resolve political and economic issues). It occured to me that if I obssess to such a great degree about politics, maybe k can apply those obsessions to other fields. Like I could do this with math and get much much better at it. Or my career path of programming. Or chemistry, biology, history, business, ukulele, etc.
I could channel OCD into something productive and useful for my life that creates value for everyone and myself. I could make it a source of motiviation and drive.
How do I do that? How do I conciously shift the object of my obsessions? How do I make myself obsess over math? Or science? Or programming? | OCD |
I just moved to a new apartment a few days ago, I thought everything would be nice because the condo management has strict rules, but I'm so fucking unlucky that the 3 apartments in my floor are owned/rented by young people and all of them are friends with each other, so on Friday they threw a party in one of the apartments and I could hear them scream from my room and their music, and then the rest of the days I've been here they all gather in the fucking hallway after they come back from work and smoke and drink there and I have to stay in my room because you can hear them in the living room screaming like little kids until like 10 pm or later and when I go out to walk my dog they stare at me and it's very uncomfortable.
This sucks because if I tell the condo manager about this I'm more likely to lose than them because it's 3 apartments against one, they're are friends with everyone and I'm just a stranger who just moved here and is autistic so doesn't know how to deal with this properly, and very likely they're friends with the condo manager themselves too (expected for social people).
I'm pissed because this is the second place I move where there's noisy people, why? Just why people have to be so disrespectful? I just can't understand. I can't get the mental process of this people.
And on top of everything I turn very aggressive when I reach rock bottom and I fear that I will end up attacking these people and reported to the police or get beat up (since I'm alone I'll lose against them for sure and I don't even own a gun).
*Sighs*
I don't know if I'm being too dramatic, but this is painful... I just wanna live in a place where I feel home and don't have to hear other people's noises but it seems like I can't win.
How should an aspie guy with no problem solving skills solve this? (nothing that involves police please, they're useless, I'm in a third world country, once I called them and when they came they told me "I put music out loud too, we all do, it's our home and we can do whatever we want in it" and left with a warning). | aspergers |
I realized it again just now because of feeling so much calmer now that it's sunny compared to two hours ago when I was having a really bad episode and vividly remembering some core things to my trauma. It was raining then and it made things so much worse. | ptsd |
I guess I have high functioning depression. I wake up early every morning work 10 hour shifts 5 days a week, come home cook enjoy dinner with my loving fiance, cuddle with our pets, catch up on Netflix. I dont have constant suicide thoughts anymore. I'm content with my life and where I'm at. I'm engaged, I have a great job that I like and enjoy, I have all the pets I have always wanted, I have a small office/craft space I was always wanted. I'm almost done paying of my first dealership car. I make good money. I have my own space that I rent with my fiance. I have everything I have worked so hard to achieve and yet I feel like I'm missing something?
However there is times where I crave my depression episodes that I used to have. Ie: not showering for days just earing junk food and laying I the couch in the darkness as I wastched sad shows and cried and felt lonely and I felt like shit. Is it weird that I miss that?
Idk I guess I might just have mommy issues. Idk | depression |
Have you ever performed poorly at work because of depression/anxiety? How did you handle it? My boss is being pretty aggressive about my performance and I’m not sure how to handle it. I am working really hard at work, but even when my performance gets better she still belittles me. I’m struggling between feeling like I deserve it and also not being able to handle it without panic attacks which in turn is hurting my performance. Just needing advice on how to cope until I find something else. Please don’t suggest therapy I’m already in therapy. | depression |
Hey guys. 15 year OCD sufferer here! (I’m not 15…. I’ve had it for 15 years lol)
Finally getting to talk to a specialist tonight for the first time since high school, and I can’t remember any of my symptoms even though it controls my whole life. The only one I can think of is my obsessive hand washing. But it’s making me feel like I don’t actually have OCD which I kinda obviously do. I was diagnosed years ago.
Anyone else deal with this? Do you make lists for therapy so you know what to tell them? For me, list making gets kind of outta control so I don’t know if I wanna do that lol | OCD |
I'm not sure if I am doing this correctly but I feel I need to put this out there somewhere because I struggling to find a way to live normally again or to even be alone with my thoughts. Last monday I lost the love of my life. He took his own life in front of me in our apartment we shared. I was less than three feet away when he shot himself and my entire world stopped. Since that moment I have not felt like the same person. I fall asleep crying, the moment replaying over and over in my head. I wake up screaming and shaking with my family surrounding me every morning now. Each time I find some small distraction and can catch my breath for a moment seems to only make the panic attacks when I remember what I was pushing away worse. I know it has not been long. 7 days and counting. But it feels as if each one gets more difficult than the last and I am scared to reach a point of hopelessness. | ptsd |
I'm 35 years and and I hate being a child again in my dreams all the time. I hate waking up and being stuck in flashbacks of my trauma. | ptsd |
Lost my credit card few a few days and assumed it would show up. Nope. So I canceled it. Couldn't log into my bank app for a few weeks because well couldn't get my account number. Finally got on like 5min ago. Someone found my card and stole all my money I had saved up. 5000 gone. GONE. FUCKING GONE. Idk If my bank will cover the loss either. So im fucked rn. I was gonna buy a car with that. But nope. Fuck me right. Because I can't have shit in life. Gotta loose 5k in 2 days cus some asshole. Life fucking sucks. Thought being in the army would be good cus id make money and find myself. Nope just drinking myself to death and now I have like $5 to my name. Why can't shit go right. | depression |
I used to read all day long when I was a kid. At about 12 yrs old I just completely stopped being able to concentrate when reading and therefore stopped since it just wasn't working out. 9 years later, I still can't read. I'm in my 3rd year of university and I just feel so ashamed all the time. I'm suuposed to get my degree but I can't imagine being able to do that - I mean how could I, since I can't read to save my life.
And it's not just academical papers. I have all these books and ebooks that I really want to read and I have a thirst for knowledge but it's just so hard. Even if I manage to read once - let's say, a small novel every three, four months (30-50 pages max.) - I never continue. I can't even manage to start reading, let alone keep on reading once i've started. It's like I'm fighting against myself. So far the only thing that has worked is using a ruler but that only works on paper books and I still can't manage to read the next day, even though when I read I love it and I just become part of that world and ignore my surroundings and imagine the story I am reading. Then again, this only works when I read fiction.
It hurts so much. Will I ever be able to read again? What can I do? Has anyone here managed to overcome this after so many years? | ADHD |
I'm seriously considering if life is even worth living, the only reason I'm still alive is because I don't currently have a reliable way of killing myself and to see if it gets any better.
I'm not depressed, but I don't find any point in being alive other than entertainment. | aspergers |
I swear I feel like people think I'm stalking them and now I want to check their accounts to see if they posted anything about me thinking I'm stalking them and now I think they're stalking me because they think I'm stalking them and that makes me want to check their accounts and stalk them. Lol I hate my brain | OCD |
I can’t even go to school without having a trigger and people think I’m being over dramatic I can’t help to I don’t want to live anymore my trauma is taking over my life I can’t handle it. My teachers won’t let me leave class when certain things are brought up I can’t handle this anymore | ptsd |
Can anyone speak on their experiences with ERP? I’m starting soon, and I’m in a pretty bleak place. Just hoping it actually helps… | OCD |
I've had so many new experiences since then, and I don't know how to tell what's me, and what's my PTSD. | ptsd |
To make a long story, I have diagnosed PTSD from an event that occured about 5 months ago, which has made it difficult for me to go to school, and has led to me continually breaking down over this period of time. My dad has told me that he feels like a failure for not being able to help me, and that he gives up. I feel incredibly guilty for this, since I just want to move on but can't. What can I do to make this better? | ptsd |
Title pretty much says it all, people who have had absolutely zero impact in my life would pop into my randomly out of the blue. Im surprised considering i don’t even really care about or know these people. Any suggestions on what to do? | OCD |
I seem to have a strong strong anxiety and Panic that il loose my mind and this stems back to doing mdma which I regret sooo much ( now I don't even drink alcohol). I'm worried that the brain damage i caused means I cannot understand and implement my goals and I obsessed over every thought, I know these will sound crazy but the craziness is what Is causing anxiety.
E.g. how do I truly know what any word means ?
ERP means I think I have to accept this thought and refocus on something else which is the idea of recovery and tell myself it's my brain just playing with its toys. Say yes I have damaged my brain but then I do my best with what I have left to achieve my goals
But il get another thought of "well how do you know you can understand the above ERP statement thoughts required to get better"
Is this still normal for ocd, this is the part causing panic? I really want to get better but when you fear brain damage you can doubt every thought about every thought and it's just hell. I'm trying to focus on my studies but i need a bit reassurance to keep me going.
I didn't want to post for reassurance but I just had a blood panic attack. | OCD |
So wanting to source opinions on this advert about helping people understand autism (and by extension aspergers).
https://youtu.be/C5DrKv1h3Z4
I will say I personally love this video I think it shows a clear difference in helping being included and up unintentionally excluded within society and I love reading specifically the comments of other helping explain to this who don't understand why it's important. I don't usually have this sort of social (am unsure of the best terminology) awkwardness, but i understand heavily that feeling of being uncomfortable with a new person. Just wanted to share with those whso aren't from Vic Australia . | aspergers |
I can’t stop.
I get a horrible flashback and I yell out a comfort phrase and jerk my head to try to push the memory away.
It’s getting worse. I can’t control it anymore. | OCD |
Hi everyone!
Long time reader, first time poster haha.
I’m just very excited because I finally got through my testing for ADHD, OCD, and CPTSD. Only took me 4 years to schedule an appointment and accept that I have conditions and they can be helped.
Weird thing happened, though. I was finishing the testing today and I was going through this list of 195 true/false questions. When I read through them and answered, they just made me sad. All these questions about how I’ve been feeling in the last 6 months, if I’ve been depressed (which I’m diagnosed with MDD) if I was having trouble sleeping, relaxing, having fantasies about death. It just made me realize that I’ve been feeling so numb and down the last 3 years, life has pretty much passed me by. It’s completely overshadowed my excitement for diagnosis and getting help. Hopefully tomorrow this feeling will be lessened.
Anyways, yay figuring out mental diagnosis and getting better! | ADHD |
Keeping my room tidy is something I've always struggled with. I absolutely hate how messy it is, but every time I try to clean it, I start obsessing over a minor detail for hours on end, attempting to get it just right, and I never end up getting anywhere. Honestly, my room is in such a terrible state that you'd think I was a hoarder or that I actually enjoyed being so disorganized (when in reality it bothers me so much that I've learned to mostly ignore it to keep my sanity)... The thought of cleaning and organizing my room without being able to make everything perfect is making me so anxious right now. I honestly can't see myself succeeding, but I'm going to try my best regardless. | OCD |
There is a lot of times when I can talk for a bit and even though I am talking I'm not enjoying it. Like it's like I'm forcing myself to speak to the person so it is not weird or so that the situation doesn't get awkward.
I have bad social anxiety and don't really know how to talk to people. So most of the time conversations with me is awkward and weird. When people come to me and talk most of the time if I'm talking for longer it's just that I'm forcing myself to talk and not actually enjoying talk. I would rather just abandon the conversation.
Can anyone relate? | aspergers |
I never really knew anything about OCD and I have ADHD and I just always assume that all these weird things that I do like checking on my rat every seven seconds before I leave somewhere or she will escape and be gone, or If I don’t touch the side of a certain seat on the plane it is going to explode midflight or, if i dont think something a certain way of school shooters going to show up and kill me. i always thought it’s just ADHD plus anxiety but jesus i was wrong but a month ago I finally was able To not be completely mentally broken by these thoughts and kinda muffle them they still happen but not as bad and now after 3 years of torment and struggle trying to mute those thoughts I finally find out that I probably have OCD AS SOON AS I FINALLY MADE IT BETTER. Im angry that I went through all that without knowing anything and just thinking its me. | OCD |
Alot is on my mind. I can't explain the brokenness I feel. I'm being super destructive again. I'm cutting off relationships and friends because I feel too broken to want any. I wish someone could just hold me and let me cry amd say all the things I'm feeling because I need it so fucking bad. Everytime some asks me if I'm ok, my eyes water up and I have to pause to get myself together and say yes. I don't want to let anyone in because once I do I start to relay on them. That doesn't teach me anything on how to cope because once they leave I'm back to feeling right where i am now but worse. I dont know how to deal with this. I want to talk to a therapist but whhhyyy do I have to actually say the things I feel :((
I'm writing songs about how I feel because I'm trying to not let the sadness live in me but no matter how much I pour into my music, I'm still fucking broken inside. | depression |
Sorry for the formatting, I’m on mobile. I’ve been taking 5mg of Adderall twice a day for about 5 months to treat my ADHD, and noticed an alarming amount of hair loss. Maybe the fact that I already have fairly thin hair has allowed me to notice relatively quickly, but it’s a concerning amount that is definitively more than my typical “shedding” so to speak.
This is not the first time this has happened. Last year, I was taking Adderall for about 4 months (I had to stop due to needing a new psychiatrist) and during that 4 month time period I experienced a noticeable amount of hair loss as well but chalked it up to poor nutrition or stress.
My diet is not poor, and the fact that both of these extreme hair loss “episodes” line up with my Adderall consumption are what makes it a direct correlation in my eyes. I don’t know what to do. Hair loss isn’t even a common enough side effect for me to find help from others who have experienced it as well.
I can’t function without my medication, as in can’t make myself get out of bed from executive dysfunction. And I can’t keep taking it, because it’s causing me to go bald. Every time I brush my hair or look in the mirror I start crying and I really just don’t know what to do.
Also, for those of you who will ask, I am female. No women in my family have a history of hair loss. No, it is not a vitamin deficiency and with the way the hair loss coordinated with Adderall intake both times, I highly doubt it’s alopecia. I’m going to try to speak with my doctor soon, but they’re booked for appointments for months in advance and I can’t keep living like this. It’s truly ruining my mental state and occupying all of my thoughts.
I hate being stuck in a place of having to choose between the ability to think clearly and function or have a full head of hair. So if anyone has been in a similar position and could offer advice, that would be greatly appreciated. | ADHD |
Have any of you ever felt better? My life is a mess, constantly repeating cycle of trying and failing and getting more traumatised. The pills that don't work, the therapy that goes nowhere. The people shocked when you speak of what actually happened. Is there any point ? I am completely broken and suffering, I don't understand why I do the things I do but I have too. Everything has to be extreme, punishment I need to suffer to feel good or I never feel alive. Please, someone talk to me if you have similar feelings. I need to talk to someone real who's been here.
Edit- Thanks to everyone for your replies im not great but it's good for me to hear other people are going through similar things. I've got through this fuckout and am onto the next one when it happens. I hope everyone can find some catharsis eventually. | ptsd |
How do we cope with changing our personalities with every new person or group we meet? Why do we feel the need to do this and do we truly know our own identities?
I’ve recently discovered masking and realized that I’ve been doing it my entire life. I have been doing this so much that I don’t know myself anymore. I have no idea what kind of personality I have, what I’m like to other people, or even simple things like what kind of games I enjoy.
If anyone could please share some similar experiences or part some advice to me and others who are wondering the same thing on how to stop this endless cycle of creating different identities I would greatly appreciate it. | ADHD |
I’m just posting this to sort of document my experience in the hopes that anyone else wanting to use Circle can maybe find some clarity. I was able to schedule an appointment for and ADHD assessment same day and within a few hours. It’s coming up, so I’ll update this post with every update I receive!
Update 1: I had one appointment with a provider and we went over all of the symptoms I’ve ever had in my life (the condensed version, lol), and then I answered a few questionnaires about anxiety and depression. The provider said to schedule another appointment through the app for the second part of the appointment. I was able to get an appointment for the very next day with the same provider. It’s almost suspicious how fast this is lmao
Update 2: Had the second appointment and was diagnosed! Got Adderall prescribed the same day and was able to pick it up before the day ended.
If you’re sure that you have ADHD and can’t get an appointment with any in person psychs or doctors, try Circle Medical. | ADHD |
She told me later that she was worried something had happened since I'm always on time.
Not gonna lie, might have shed a small tear after. Pretty sure no one has ever told me that before.
Much like the first time I ever completely finished a tube of chapstick without losing it or having it melt into a mess, I'm going to jot this down in my memory bank of "Accomplishments Normal People Are Generally Not Proud Of" list that exists only in my mind since, you know, I misplace everything.
​
Edit: I should clarify, that was both the first and the last time I finished a tube.
​
^(Also in true ADHD fashion, I rushed to post this before remembering this sub had rules about length and such things so I have expanded with more rambling thoughts!) | ADHD |
Daniel Kahneman wrote a famous book called *Thinking, Fast and Slow* that describes two types of thinking: **System 1** is fast and automated (like riding a bike or tying your shoes) while **System 2** is hard, conscious, thinking and problem solving.
This video goes into more detail: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBVV8pch1dM (I wish I could add “&speed=1.75” to a youtube URL, save ADHD people a few clicks).
As an aside, I don’t think ADHD people have much issue with System 1, in fact, I think we rely on it too much, but System 2 is definitely a problem, not only getting it started, but maintaining it. I’d love to see some research about this.
Here’s why the above knowledge is important: **ADHD people live much of their life in System 1 “flow” while daydreaming about their brain's latest fixation.** Let’s say you’re thinking about a new strategy in a game, you could get up, go to the kitchen, make a cup of coffee, and return to your computer, all while thinking about the game strategy... the coffee making is “muscle memory”.
The problem comes when this "autopilot" causes you to blow right past something you were supposed to remember. Morning routine is the worst for this, muscle memory can have you showered, clothed, fed and out the door with not a thought for that out-of-the-routine item you had to take to work today, or the fact that you actually had an early meeting that you’re now late for.
So here’s where **disruption** comes in as a coping mechanism: you have to force System 1 off the steering wheel and thereby force System 2 to kick in. It’s like the “kick” from the movie *Inception* that snaps you out of the daydream.
Here are some examples:
* A post-it note at the bottom of your screen is probably useless, but one in the center of the screen will force you to read it.
* Car keys are a fantastic tool because you’re not leaving the house without them, so put them under the item you have to remember. Took your jacket off at a party? Put your keys with your jacket.
* When I put a load of washing in the machine, I put the clothes basket in the kitchen doorway, forcing me to step over it later and remember to clear the machine.
* “Siri, countdown x minutes” works well for me in many situations, like having a pot on the stove.
* If I have to remember something important at work in the morning, I turn my work keyboard upside down when I leave the day before.
Pretty much anything that stops me in my tracks and makes me think, “Wait, why is…?” works for me. An upside down chair. A shoe on the toilet seat. I'm lucky that my brain quickly remembers the context, and therefore the action I must take, people with worse ADHD might have to set up a disruption and a note. | ADHD |
Do you guys work as a programmer? If you do, how was your experience so far? Is it really true that this is a field where NDs can be at advantage?
How do you survive the office politics? Do meetings go easy for you? Do you connect with colleagues well?
It was 6-8 months I am trying to learn programming to save my life. I started off with Python then got into this AI, Deep Learning hype and lost a lot of time instead of learning actual programming. Now I am more interested with backend so I am trying to learn Django, SQL etc now.
I want to become a pro and earn solid money and go work in Europe in 5 years (I am from Kazakhstan). I know it sounds little too ambitious but you have to dream big, right?
If you guys have advices to give, then please feel free. | aspergers |
I went through the roughest time of my life dealing with an existential ocd theme that sort of mixed in with a suicidal theme. I got on medication and somehow got back to normal for a couple years??
I decided to ween off the medication (paxil) and my thoughts came back not even a month later. I've since been put back onto it and also got an ERP therapist but it's been tough. I keep getting additional intrusive thoughts like "is it the medication side effects making it worse?" "Am I gonna get out of this episode this time or is it gonna be my whole life like this?"
It feels like I'm stuck in a paradox. Just needed to vent a little, and was also wondering how many others out there deal with these themes. Thank you | OCD |
So I don’t know if I done the right thing here or not and I was looking for advice on the situation.
My ptsd is related to physical & sexual abuse - I have also had to watch while my parents were in the same room.
I’m a 25 year old lady and work with a bunch of other great ladies. There’s 11 of us in total with only one guy. We get a bit of down time and we sometimes play would you rather and quite frankly it can get pretty weird and sexual but that’s fine I think it’s hilarious.
Last week though in the middle of a game someone says ‘would you rather watch or join in the your parents having sex?’ I had to call that question off and I feel like I have sort of outted myself but as soon as that was mentioned a bunch of past experiences/images go through my head so quickly I struggled to stay with it.
I dunno I guess I’m asking if it was wrong on me to shut the question down, have you found yourself in a similar situation? How did you handle it? I can’t stop over thinking the whole situation. | ptsd |
I know I do have OCD, but is this a symptom or sign of it? I'm on quarantine right now because someone from my school that sat behind me had covid, and someone that near me or sort of close to me in my spanish class and im quarantined. And my mom poured me some juice and set it on my table for me to grab. But I have a fear that she poisoned it before she put it on the table and gave it to me because I didn't see her make it. Is that a sign a sign of OCD? Or... | OCD |
Lately I've been feeling like no one likes me and if it's my husband's friends/family, they just tolerate me cause of him. No one really texts to see how I'm doing and all of the time I'm having to reach out to them. And when they do talk, I feel like they're annoyed and trying to convey they don't want to talk. I'm just tired of feeling like I'm alone and despite my husband saying that that's not true and my mind is just lying, I still feel like it's true. I've gotten to the point of self-harming again after a few months of stopping. I was emotionally and physically abused as a kid up until just this last month by my mom, sisters and grandmother so that's really affected me as well. I just want to ask everyone what they really think about me and if they truly like me or are just putting up with me but my anxiety won't let me. | depression |
Just as the title says.... I get so scared when I hit that turn in button. I'm so convinced it'll be a 100% that rather than using the recourses I'm allowed to use or properly reading through the question, I'll throw it.
More than a few of my test scores have suffered because of this...
At the same time, anything less than perfection is unthinkable for me, so when I see I got a low score because of what I did I end up losing it.
Life sucks my guy. Life sucks.... So much is going on and my parents think I'm faking / over exaggerating having OCD (despite me having a diagnosis from a psychiatrist). :') :'3 | OCD |
I hate cooking, and literally can't do it. I'm living with parents and they don't buy/make safe foods. And the few things they do get that I can stand eating are processed/nothing nutritional. Then they criticize me for not eating healthy. And I hate that I can't stand going places for dinner because I swear people like the most disgusting stuff. Why are things like casserole and stuffed peppers so popular? The stuff we have for dinner is always like chicken and broccoli. Or pork and mashed potatoes, the mashed potatoes are always this dry clumpy texture. So I'm just barely eating and I have blood sugar issues so I constantly feel like shit. I can't stand cooking. Even if we had stuff to cook with and anyone ever bothered to teach me cooking skills. It's so much to coordinate, 20-45 mins + of attention, and for some reason the heat of the oven/stove makes me really anxious.
Does anyone relate to any of this? | aspergers |
i have been struggling so badly lately with no help or support from anyone. i cant eat i cant sleep i cant get out of bed i cant take care of myself. i want to go to therapy but i cannot do it myself. i just wish i could be loved or supported for once i cant make through by myself. | depression |
I've recently been diagosed with ADHD at the age of 35 years old. When I started analysing my behaviours I realised I'd created lots of systems, habits, strategies to cope with elements of my life I found difficult or unstimulating. Just thought I'd list some here and see if anyone can relate!
I'm un-medicated but hoping to start next month. Can anyone confirm if meds helped with any of these issues?
CREATING STIMULATION
1. I am a member of 3 gyms. I cannot cope going to the same gym everyday, the routine is hell for me. So I rotate around 3 gyms. It feels a little bit more exciting each time I go. Add a couple of different swimming pools in to the mix and its plenty of variety.
2. I change the position of my bedroom furniture a lot. And I even change between different rooms in the house for where I sleep.
3. I have maybe 7 or 8 places that I work (I'm a web developer). A couple of different desks, an office, 2 or 3 favourite cafes, my friends houses.
4. I shop at 4 or 5 different supermarkets. I sometimes drive 30 mins away to a new supermarket, just to make shopping more stimulating.
5. Walking / cycling routes are always different. Sometimes I drive to a new town and walk around there.
6. I don't put my clothes away in wardrobes, they hang on rails with the clothes visible. Otherwise I'd just wear the same clothes all the time. I need to be reminded they are there.
DEALING WITH ANXIETY / ADDICTIVE BEHAVIOUR / MISC
1. I turn off blue ticks on whatsapp. I cannot cope to see somebody read a message but hasn't replied. Are they dead? Do they hate me?
2. I don't have social media on my phone, its too addictive. I only check insta and fb on my desktop.
3. I have a 1 day wait rule on Amazon. If I want something I add it to my cart but do not pay until the next day, this rules out impulse buying.
4. I have things I hang on door handles to remind me there is something inside I need to do. Washing in the washing machine, a DIY project I've started, etc. Otherwise I forget to go back, even if I've just popped to the toilet I could literally leave something I was doing half way through and not go back for 6 hours.
5. I use a K-safe to lock my phone away for 1 hour when cooking dinner and eating. This helps me concentrate and enjoy the process and take my time eating.
I've love to hear if you also do these things, and do you have any to add to the list? I'm mainly like to hear from middle-aged adults. Please confirm your age when replying.
I'm un-medicated but hoping to start next month. Can anyone confirm if meds helped with any of these issues? | ADHD |
Hey. friends,
I hate the word productivity, and I was wondering if anyone had any alternative suggestions. Energy wise it makes a HUGE difference for me if I can describe something differently. For example, I don't like developing habits but rather practicing rituals. My partner and I don't fight, we dialogue. My cat isn't a cat, she's the perfect bean. (I don't need an alternative for my cat, I just like calling her the bean.)
Anyway, any nicknames for productivity would be greatly appreciated. | ADHD |
Ex: friend shows me random photo of them and someone I don’t know and proceeds to tell me stories about them. But I can’t absorb anything that’s said because I automatically tune it out and can’t make myself care. In fact I get agitated like I wish they’d stop bothering me. Anyone else? | aspergers |
Everytime i look in the mirror. I see someone that is completely alien and not someone i reconize. I don't remeber ever feeling like. I am a completly a stranger to myself because of my ptsd | ptsd |
My mom asked me the other day what happened to my old best friend from high school, Paula. I remember Paula ended up visiting me at college my first semester (in September), right before my traumas happened, but I couldn’t remember why we lost contact, so I told my mom we fell out of touch.
One of our mutual friends posted on insta, so I scrolled through her page to see that Paula ended up attending my college the semester after she visited; she lived two doors down from me on my hall.
I see these pictures, and I vaguely remember this. I’m trying to piece together all the details, but how could I forget that she also was living so close to me?!?!? Granted this is when a lot of my trauma was going on, but I feel like such a terrible person for not being able to remember her. Can’t find her on any social media, and now
I’m scared that I may have done something to drive her away.... | ptsd |
Title says it all. During the day ill be generally fine. Sometimes I’ll be depressed but usually I’m ok. Every night when I try to fall asleep, depression hits me badly even if I had a pretty good day. I’m pretty tired and exhausted but won’t be able to sleep because of depressing and suicidal thoughts. I was fine the minute just before that.
Like today, I had an average ok day. Was playing some video games 30mins ago and started to feel pretty tired so I headed to my bed. As soon as I close the lights and lay on bed it hit me. Now I’m just scrolling through depressing subreddits while crying and won’t be able to sleep until I literally pass out being too tired… usually happen around 6:00. Not convenient when I have to work.
I’m just so tired… | depression |
I think he's the most relatable antihero I've ever come across. He is persecuted for being different and tries so hard to make him and his fellow mutants respected. He gets so frustrated that he does evil but he's not inherently evil. He has great power but it is shunned.
Mutants in X-Men = Aspies to me | aspergers |
Hello! So, I've (F24) struggled with OCD since around the time I was 12 years old. My main themes are health-related, and sexual orientation OCD, to a certain extent. I've been a heavy drinker from the time I was 19, and decided last week to give up drinking. I'm already feeling a lot better for the most part, but now, when my OCD hits, it hits HARD. Has anyone else experienced an increase in symptoms after sobering up, and about how long did it last?
Thanks!! | OCD |
I could be having an average day or a good one, but when I see someone that hurt, betrayed, or wronged me it’s usually enough to ruin my day and I usually dwell on that and what they did to me again even if it happened years ago.
I don’t know if it’s because of my personality or my Aspergers so that’s why I’m asking. | aspergers |
I don't wanna end my life, but right now I'm certainly contemplating it. I just want the pain to stop. I just want the nightmares to end. I just want the flashbacks and the fear to stop. I'm so goddamn tired of it all! I'm already falling rapidly towards rampant and firm denial. I keep saying nothing happened. I keep telling myself my childhood was normal, that I didn't actually exist until I was 6. I want to deny all the records, say they're all lies. I wanna say nothing ever happened to me. My head is all over the place right now and thoughts of self harm are flooding my head. The only thing stopping me is the promise I made to my sister. I don't wanna do it, I just wanna talk to someone. I'm scared, I'm angry, and I'm really really hurt. I have no one to talk to at home because everyone just ignores my problems. I just need someone to talk to, someone who can talk me down and help me think rationally, because right now I can't think clearly and my hands are shaking as I type this. I wish I didn't have this. | ptsd |
She thinks that only because she wants to have her pantry organized she has OCD and she made that stupid comment. | OCD |
I (23, NB) have been a “picky eater” since I was an infant. When I was 4, I went 24 hours without eating because I didn’t want to eat anything my parent fed me.
I can’t eat specific textures like lettuce even if I like the look and smell of a salad.
I dk if this is something else or related to my OCD. I’m between therapist right now. | OCD |
As the title says, I've been quite troubled by intrusive thoughts. They want to make me to use Twitter and post that I like gruesome things. I uninstalled it, and won't use it for 5 days.
I really hope this makes things better. Have I done the right thing? I don't even know anymore. | OCD |
God I wish so much i could “fit in”. I really want to be the student who takes notes. goes to the gym. studies. understands. reads books. goes out with friends. is always improving in their hobbies. The person who people greet when they see him. who can have a great conversation without making anyone feel uncomfortable or without making himself look like a weirdo. the person who is trusted with notes. the person who people count on. the person who is not forgotten. the person who is invited to go out. But here I am. The complete opposite. No matter how hard I try, I always fail to have the desired social life and social status. Whenever someone needs something, i am always the last one to come to anyone’s mind. Because i will forget. i will fail. i am not as fast as others. i am not expected to know something. my notes are illegible. my voice is too quiet. my voice is too loud. i look bored. i am so excited i dont know when to stop.
When I manage to get closer with the people in my class, its always the same. you are quiet today. you are oversharing a lot. you shouldnt be saying this. you are not fun today. you are really boring today. you are not saying anything today.
Im so sick of it. Im not depressed, but sometimes its these small presumptions that get to me. I dont need to be funny everyday. I dont need to be hyped everyday. I dont need to be so talkative everyday. I dont need to be anything im supposed to be. I dont owe it to anyone. Im tired of always feeling like im in a onesided relationship. | ADHD |
I get chronic migraines. They can get so bad I lose my sight for a while and genuinely fear I'll die from the pain. They're pretty well managed now by botox + topiramate and I'm down to ~ one 3 day migraine a month.
But you throw ADHD in the mix and prioritising self care, even if elementary, is SO HARD.
I just came out of a migraine, after giving up on Getting Stuff Done, taking all the pain meds I'm allowed, and napping until I surface again with a foggy but pain-free brain.
It's 2pm.
I immediately showered because I can't stand the smell of me. I was going to brush my teeth but feel myself procrastinating so I tell myself I can shave my legs first (it's an easy task because I have trichotillomania which demands Something Be Done). It's teeth brushing time! ... and it's still not happening. I realise I'll never get out of the shower if I wait until I brush my teeth. So I allow myself, with some self loathing, not to brush my teeth and exit the shower.
I'm shaking while I get dressed because I haven't eaten today, just drank juice. I know I should eat. There is a plate of fruit and crackers next door from last nights dinner. It will be easy.
But my brain keeps saying
"Put a load of washing in first, it's the most time savvy option! It will wash while you eat!"
No, I am sick from hunger I must eat first.
"It's a hot day, you should water the plants first so they don't die! They should've been watered this morning!"
No, I am sick from hunger I must eat first.
"Do a load of washing first..!"
(I'm sitting here writing this and eating grapes because my brain thinks reddit is an interval task and thus I'm on my way to do the laundry)
Tldr: I literally have to argue with my brain to follow Maslow's hierarchy of needs even when chronic illness has reduced me to a shaky lump just trying to achieve normal. Even with an arson of techniques under my belt. | ADHD |
Just after I wake up, and just before I go to sleep, I spend an hour each spiraling into flashbacks. During this period, I have random panic spikes where my heart rate rapidly increases, some part of my body jerks, and I freak the heck out.
There was a similar post about this recently, so I feel like some non-trivial number of people experience this, but what I think would be most useful is if I could have advice on how to actually prevent this cycle of flashbacks ahead of time and break it during?
Thanks :( | ptsd |
My mother had a cardiac arrest this morning. To top the year of. In the summer, my father got sued for a huge summ of money, was depressive and had to go into a psychiatric facility. In autumn, my gf left me and I cut ties with the rest of my friends, now not having any left. I also had to go to a psychiatric facility and now take madication against my depression. And now, at the end of the year, my mother almost died tonight because of a cardiac arrest. My father performed cpr and she is now in an artificial coma. Hopefully the lack of oxygen didnt leave any brain damage. Why is this year like this, why does all of this happen? What comes next? | depression |
So I have about 15 barn cats. In 2 years, I've had to put 2 of them down, spent 2000 dollars on another to save her life, and my vet has been testing them for feline leukemia virus and 2 so far have been positive. About half have a cold right now and I don't know if it's just a regular bug or if it's because they're contracting the leukemia virus which weakens their immune system.
Parking the car today, I ran over one of the newer kittens, maybe 6 months old. I wasnt doing anything different, just reversing slowly into my parking space like Ive been doing every day for 2 years. Then it happened. It's head was smashed.
I don't know what to do. I'm going broke trying to take care of these cats and I just go and run one over?? I know I would never intentionally harm them but it was still my doing.
Can anyone just help me feel better? | depression |
I'm 24 and I just realised I'm surrounded by @ssholes.
I'm always the one that cares for others, that their needs are met, I give them compliments, celebrate theirs success, I have honest empathy for them... But they don't return any of it back.
I realised this after the 10000th "left on seen". And I'm tired of it. I always thought that something is wrong with me (because why else do they not reciprocate).
F*ck the parasites that feed from other people kindness and care!
We all deserve to have honest support and love.
I've been too harsh to myself for too long. If it wasn't for my family I honestly don't know If I would still be on this strange planet I chose to live on.
I guess we have to give ourselves a break sometimes and give some people an honest "f*ck off"! | depression |
I've been venting to a good friend about stuff I've gone through with a toxic loved one. I like them a lot as a person. I was telling him about my recent suicidal thoughts, feelings of hopelessness, etc. He suddenly starts asking me questions about my past. Like if I've ever been in a life-threatening situation. I was worried he was trying to figure out how valid my experiences are, because I've never been in a 'real' dangerous situation, like war or physical abuse. He asks me if I've ever felt shaky after negative fights with my toxic loved one, or if I had the desire to hurt myself or others or run away from the experience. Stuff like that. Then he brought up a brain chemical called cortisol, and I had never heard of it before, because I haven't had chemistry in a long time. Around that moment I realised he was asking me about PTSD symptoms. In the end he told me I've been showing symptoms of it while talking about my feelings. He has it too. Not once in my life did I think I may have it. Sincerely, I thought that was reserved for victims of CSA and war and domestic abuse. I haven't been through those things. I don't even know how to describe my situation. I've just had a rocky relationship with my cousin. Just realised how tough talking about this is. I don't know what to wri te. It's been an hour and I still keep rewriting this post. This is hard. I'm trying to avoid saying everything because it's exhausting trimming it so it'd be understandable.
I'm going to talk to a psychiatrist about this tomorrow. I don't want to self-diagnose. This is so hard to accept and I don't know why, like I don't deserve this title. It makes an uncomfortable amount of sense or maybe I'm just forcing myself to relate to the symptoms. I don't even know what I felt about my situation before that. I acknowledged I was depressed and needed help but I didn't think about why. Kind of thought I was overreacting or overemotional like I've been told. I don't know. I just want to be loved. I feel like just a kid. I'm 16. I shouldn't be experiencing this.
I wanted to put myself into a coma so my cousin would finally realise how much she's hurt me. I self-harmed but that wasn't enough for her, she told me I take it too lightly. No matter what I told her or what I did she didn't acknowledge the damage. I begged her to stop arguing with me so we could be friends again and our fights made me feel awful. She kept dismissing me as manipulative. I felt the need to injure myself and I wanted to hospitalise myself for her approval. I called a crisis hotline and I felt pathetic. I mostly cried on the line. I told her that and she told me ''fuck your crisis hotline''. Then I started hating myself and that's why I wanted to kill myself. What doesn't help is that her friends (my friends too) are mad at me and upset as well. her boyfriend called me selfish for cutting her off and that I should care about her feelings. And that he's extremely angry at me. Same with my boyfriend, he's not talking to anyone. He defended my cousin and I still feel hurt over it. I felt so unloved after that. They seem sorry for it but i dont know.
Now it's hard for me to trust people who are nice. My cousin was a nice person. I keep thinking the good people I know all have repressed anger against me. That eventually I'll piss them off. That all people who are always nice are actually terrible people. Or that I need to stop complimenting nice people because that will make them cocky, that they can't do wrong. I used to try to nap but I couldn't stop thinking about it all and crying, and shaking, I felt nauseous and numb and my stomach felt hollow. What my cousin said and how my friends reacted. Why didn't I fucking think that was a problem back then? I didn't feel anything about it, I was distracted by feelings. I need to end this soon because it's getting too long. Thank you so much. | ptsd |
Title says it all. Music is one of my biggest coping tools when it comes to ADHD, especially lo-fi, jazz hop, and game osts. It helps me focus on tasks, calms my nerves and regulates my emotions, motivates me to get difficult stuff done, and keeps me on flow.
It's a shame though that most places I need it the most usually forbid it. Hell it doesn't even distract me that much from people talking, and I can easily pause it if someone needs my full attention (which let's face it, I'm never able to give anyway)
Like I'm not trying to be lazy. I'm not trying to ignore people or my work. I'm just simply trying to function like everyone else, and music is one of the few things that stabilizes me. | ADHD |
I try, I really do. I wake up and force myself to get out of bed and try to have a good day. Then it happens, flashbacks and triggers, as well as panic attacks. I just want it all to stop. | ptsd |
Ever since I was a little child, I was left out. First, it was just not being allowed to play with the other kids, not having any friends and being called mean things as soon as I spoke.
When I started school, it started to get more violent. I was sexually exploited for years by 3 people, and when I think back on it I can only remember the fear, everything that happened is a black hole. I never said no, but I was forced to say yes because they always told me that if I did everything they said, I wouldn't have to be alone anymore. The next day they always told me how horrible and disgusting I was. When I told the teacher she scolded me for half an hour and told me that it's my fault, that I was a bad kid, that it the people who harassed me weren't to blame. It got worse, but I never told again.
I had "friends", but they always put me down for small things, manipulated me, locked me in small spaces and left me crying for help, stole my stuff yet never let me touch theirs, wrote "NERD" on my forehead with a permanent marker and laughed as I cried. I had no one.
Once, a kid went up to me, punched me in the stomach and walked away like nothing happened. As I got older, it continued, even though I transferred schools. At one point they shouted that I was useless, no one would ever love me, I was foolish to think I deserved to be in this world. I shouted back that I hate myself and want to kill myself, they answered with "Good, you should." A few weeks after, I attempted suicide at 14 years of age.
The bullying has finally come to an end at this school. Some people from my old school see me and chase me and scream that I'm a fucking pussy.
I didn't even remember big parts of the things that happened when I was a young child (like the sexual harassment).
When I see these people from afar, knowing they can't get to me, I'm still filled with panic, anxiety and fear. I don't know what to do with myself. A lot of times I find myself disconnected from reality and my own movement, and even though I've learned how to snap out of it, I avoid it because it overwhelms me with memories of my past.
I have frequent nightmares and I'm always prepared for something bad to happen to the point where I have paranoid delusions.
Could this be PTSD? | ptsd |
Hello, I’m a 21 year old male with Aspergers and health anxiety disorder. Recently I got a T2 MRI done for reasons related to anxiety. The result showed everything normal except for one thing, that was, I quote: Abnormal volume of white matter hyperintense foci for a patient of this age, a neurological review is recommended.
Although I’m pretty strong in managing my anxiety these days, this is pretty scary.
I -yes- did some googling, and -yes- it gave me the worst possible results, I promise I’m calm😂.
I am disciplined when it comes to seeking reassurance so Im trying not to chase the rainbow here, but the wait for the neurologist is going to be tough and I would like to try asking you guys in the meantime to see what comes up.
Anyway, some extra info: My gp says he is not too concerned, I have never had a migraine in my life but mum is a chronic migraine sufferer. I have been on an SSRI for the last few months. I do have a slow natural walk and can be a bit foggy at times. I’m smart and am learning many things including mandarin so my memory seems fine. My upbringing had a lot of stress and I smoked alot of marijuana for a few years (2 years sober now). I am quite happy these days and despite moderate to sever anxiety I have never had depression. I am physically in great shape with a good diet.
Any reassuring information would be tremendously appreciated. I am pretty chill anyway, but it really would be great to get some help if possible, I’ve been alone for most of my life so it’s pretty cool I can just share my thoughts like this😊 | aspergers |
I find it really difficult firstly to actually brush my teeth but then I also find it really difficult brushing my teeth as in manoeuvring the toothbrush, the vibrations of the toothbrush as well as the sensation of it on my teeth and gums, I get in trouble with my dentist because i find it so difficult and I’m a grown man | aspergers |
ever since I been on meds I only drink protein shakes the first 8 hours of the day. On the evening, I always eat something with high fiber (carrots, broccoli, cabbages) protein source and something fatty like olive oil
I figured out, the meds and body are more in tune with each other on this “diet” I never planned for this, but I listen to my body reaction. Now everything with high fiber is the new “comfort food”
However, only while on meds.
I used to crave pasta and other fast carb sources, did not care for fiber , only when my stomach was too upset.
Did this also happened to you?
Without meds, I am sleeping, drinking and eating and repeat. | ADHD |
I have never had a real goal in life but back when I still enjoyed living and didn't just see it as an option, I was eager to see the world but only dreamt of it, never pulling through. Now I feel trapped in this hellhole with the knowledge of 10 year old me, rotting till I finally find the courage to end it all. I should have went for my goals when I still had the chance, when things felt real. | depression |
Posted in r/mentalhealth as well, but was curious if this could be related to OCD?
I'm not new to the mental health world and have struggled with an eating disorder, depression, anxiety, some ADD forever now. I'm not looking for a diagnosis obviously but was hoping someone could provide some insight on these symptoms and how to alleviate them.
I regularly do this, where I find something to "obsess" over. These obsessions have no true hold on reality, ex. I'll be convinced a friend hates me, and then I will go out of my way to look for "clues" that I am correct. There will be no direct conversation of them stating what I believe is true. I simply take bits and pieces of conversations and put together in my head something that literally does not exist. The problem is, I cannot ever stop obsessing over it. I convince myself it is true and I analyze every tiny thing and "read in between the lines." I can't ever just take what was said or what happened at face value.
I always have to have an "obsession." Rare times, I won't have something I am obsessing over but that quickly ends and something replaces it. These obsessions don't end until whatever I am obsessing about either comes true or the person involved in the obsession, somehow "figures out what I'm thinking" and is able to assure me it isn't true. I will say, most of the time these obsessions are not true. However, I think the very few times they have proved true is what continues to drive this obsessive thought process.
Examples: someone didn't say hi to me and is texting me less? - they hate me// in reality, they didn't see me and have literally 0 problems with me.
These 2 people aren't answering my texts? - They must be hanging out together without me and are hiding it from me // in reality these 2 may know each other but barely speak and would never hang out with each other.
There are many more examples. Most involving me and another person, some involving them and other people and what not- I don't feel like getting into the latest obsession because I know it barely even makes sense.
I will try and explain these symptoms to my therapist but I feel like they're ruining my life when 80% of my thoughts involve these obsessions. Can this be related to OCD? Or is this something else entirely, I'm just trying to figure my life out. | OCD |
21m and been depressed all I can remember. It's getting really bad and no signs of it getting any better. Meds aren't seeming to help. I had a therapist but all she would talk about is covid and urge me not to get the vaccine. Then when I told her it wasn't working she blamed me and told me I wouldn't open up to her. I barely leave my house now. I hate going anywhere because I hate being seen by people and always feel terrified that something awful will happen. I can barely talk to people and everytime I talk to someone I don't know what to say and barely even know how to structure my sentences. I feel like my personality and mind died and I'm just waiting for my body to catch up. | depression |
Do any of you feel the need to have so many things on you at all times “just in case”. I try using a smaller purse the last few weeks because I can’t physically stuff it any more, but I’ve been finding most days I’m now carrying my smaller purse, along with a reusable grocery bag with a bunch of crap I really don’t need, but “what if I do” ughhhhhh
For example I’ve been carrying colored pencils, sharpies, and coloring books all week “just in case” I wanna color at work (I work at a call center so I can technically do this) but have I colored once? NO. But I have work tomorrow and I bet I fucking bring that shit | OCD |
Hi , I don’t know if there’s anyone here from Brazil , but do you know if there is any therapist here who does ERP , I can’t seem to find someone that does ERP here | OCD |
Especially when the people who enjoy watching those shows can't accept us in real life (or even deny/ignore our autism). For them it's just entertainment, something you turn on for one hour every day and then it's over. For us it's being mocked, ignored, or mistreated in other ways for talking too much or over explaining subjects we're interested in.
What's your experience with these types of situations? | aspergers |
I've had PTSD since I was 13. I've recently discovered these games called Fantasy mosaics and Travel Mosaics that seem to help me calm down and stay focused; but the problem is I can't afford to buy all of them or do a subscription to a gaming site that has the games. | ptsd |
The fear I might be gay, the fear I'm a pedo, the fear I'm going to accumulate bad karma for doing something bad, the fear something bad will happen if I don't do something a certain way all make sense now. I never knew much about OCD until I really looked into it a few days ago and all my symptoms match with some categories of OCD. These episodes have happened over a period of 9 years.
I've not been diagnosed with this disorder but I think I likely have it and I look to see a psychiatrist now. How many of you had a feeling you had OCD before being diagnosed? | OCD |
I’m currently struggling badly with obsessive thoughts on how I look to others and myself. As a back story I am very insecure in myself and as a result I refuse to be on social media and monitor any photos that I may have posted of myself. I hate feeling out of control. I was in a wedding on Saturday and I saw some of the preview pictures on the photographers page that the other bridesmaid sent me. I got very very upset because I had no say in what pictures got posted and shared what seemed like hundreds of times with pictures I’m very unhappy with. I keep going over and over the pictures obsessively nitpicking and looking at my flaws. I bursted out into anger at the thought of others seeing these photos and the absolute lack of control I had over who saw these. I punched myself repeatedly and started yelling/cussing and punching the wall and I threw my phone. My husband had to hold me to calm me down as I cried for ten minutes straight after I realized my burst was over. I still am anxious over these pictures and I can’t help but get upset over this. I feel like I’m a psychotic person. I am not happy with feeling this way. I also have these compulsions with cleaning my house a certain way and if it’s not right I have severe anxiety and get angry. I used to not have this problem but as I have gotten into my middle 20s I have the most intrusive thoughts. I think I’m going to reach out for help as I know this isn’t normal thinking. Thanks for letting me rant. | OCD |
I'm just posting because I need to get this out of my system.
I was officially diagnosed with ptsd earlier this year, I've been doing emdr to help process my trauma, and I've been avoiding processing one of my traumas that affects me the most, as I get closer to my next appt, I'm realizing I'm going to have to relive that trauma in my head and body, and I spiraled, dissociated for like 3 hours, and then had a panic attack and threw up all over the bathroom because I'm terrified to experience those emotions again.
How do you get past this hump? I feel like it's easier to avoid the trauma than face it head on. I want to process it, but I'm afraid if I try, I'll dissociate or have a panic attack again | ptsd |
**does anyone have any suggestions/tips? i take a low dose of vyvanse, which helps with staying on task, but not with this aspect:**
i'm a middle aged adult who has retuned to school. somehow i made it through the last two semesters, and even got excellent grades. but the last three weeks i haven't been able to accomplish \*anything\* and it's been especially bad this last week. i've been staying up late and waking up early to do work. i've been skipping classes to do work. i've cancelled dinners and breakfasts with friends. sunday i sat at the library for hours and just stared at my laptop. none of the work has gotten done, not a *single* assignment completed. i've had a two bursts where i was able to work for a few hours, but not enough to complete an assignment.
i'm kinda freaking out, this is the worst i've had it in 15 years and the timing is terrible. i'm hopeful my professors might be understanding if i can turn it around, but so far i feel paralyzed, and i'm in a total nosedive. i've also been avoiding class b/c i'm embarrassed. it feels like my bad old 20s when i didn't know what was going on. at least now i do, but that doesn't help me *do* it.
nobody around me understands this aspect of adhd, they just think it's about distractibility, but this is by far the worst thing for me. it's like pushing a rope. to my housemates and friends it can only look like laziness. | ADHD |
My grandma is retiring soon and we’re having a little party for her (just going out to dinner). There will be about 20 people there, most of which I haven’t seen in years. I’m really worried as I tend to get overstimulated when there are so many people talking at once. I’m also worried that everyone will want to talk to me because I’ve been having some health problems and became disabled last year, so everyone is always asking about it and wanting to know what happened. I want to be there for my grandma but I’m so scared that I’ll get overwhelmed and melt down. Any advice? The party is in a few hours! Please help :( | aspergers |
Basically, I did something bad in the past. No person was directly affected by it (thankfully) and I guess it doesn't break the law. But it was completely immoral and disgusting. While I was (mostly) able to move on from it there is one aspect that still worries me a lot. How other people would look at me. I told my parents about it and they accepted it and I am grateful for that. I really needed it.
But what about non family members? I know a girl online. She is an extremely nice person and she helped me a little when I went through darker times. But she doesn't know me personally. I would like to contact her one day and start a real friendship with her. I think she would be a sibling friend type of girl. But whatever.
This person that is very dear to me could potentially be repulsed by me if she ever found out. A person who contributed that much to my positive mood could also shatter it. I mean, if she reacted with anger and disgust to my confession it would be appropriate. But it would be devastating. | OCD |
Does anyone else experience this? It's really troubling... | OCD |
My best friends are struggling. They dont have the mental space. My therapist doesnt check her phone. I dont want my new friends to know. My parents make it worse.
So my brain rots, and I just function as a mask. Seems fine; hides the rotting insides.
And does it help to share? No. No, the shit is all there.
I'm sober, and I'm not happy about it. | ptsd |
I fell so self-centered. I know there are people with problems greater than mine. Yet certain things still let me down. I'm sorry to all the people I offended over the years. I just want to be in peace. | depression |
Sorry if this isn't what this kind of forum is for, but I was googling ADHD and Work-from-home struggles, and this forum came up. So I'm hoping maybe if I write this all out it can help me figure somethings out or maybe get some advice.
I've realized that my focus is getting so much worse in a work from home environment. I work in Software development as a Quality Assurance Analyst.
The longer I work from home the more it feels like I'm making obvious mistakes I didn't used to make. Repetition and isolation is making it easier and easier to just auto-pilot over things that I should be catching.
I really want to go back to a regular office environment, but no one else at the company, at least not on my specific team, seems to have any interest in doing this. I'm worried that the longer I keep doing this the more mistakes I'll keep making that I shouldn't be and the company just won't think I'm worth what my position and salary are giving me.
I was taking Strattera for a while and I'm considering getting back on it, but I didn't like what it did to me physically (mostly like constipation and insomnia). I'm also dealing with a problem of my home office being in my bedroom (As I only have one PC and not a lot of space to set up a work space) so I've been getting stress dreams, which also ruins my sleep, so I end up needing caffiene to wake up in the morning and that feels like it's compounding the issue.
Everyone seems to champion Work-From-Home as the 'worker's dream' and I'm happy for them, but god am I really starting to hate it more and more.
I actually am looking to have a meeting with my doctor and look into a medical leave of absence. Taking a 4 day vacation where I just took multiple long walks and stayed away from my house over those four days really recharged me for a couple weeks but I'm starting to feel the slump again. | ADHD |
In my Masters degree I had the following assignment. To produce
"An detailed critical analysis of **one section** of **one text** (2 pages maximum)"
Now what caught me out is does this mean:
a) the analysis has to be no more than 2 pages or
b) the text source cannot be longer than 2 pages of the document?
I assumed A but apparently it's B. Grr, stop talking in riddles! | aspergers |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.