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Hi everyone!
I wanted to reach out about a virtual research study currently recruiting individuals with OCD from across the country. This study is being run by Massachusetts General Hospital. You can learn more about the study [here](https://perspectivesocd.health/) or read the following information below:
The Center for OCD & Related Disorders (CORD) at Massachusetts General Hospital (Boston, MA) is currently running a nation-wide research study for individuals with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). **The purpose of this study is to test two different digital health programs for obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD): a smartphone application (“app”) delivered cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for OCD and a web-based health and well-being program.** We hope that digital health interventions will help make treatment for OCD much more widely accessible to individuals who need it.
If you take part in this research study, you will have an equal chance of undergoing **12 weeks of an app-based CBT program, OR 12 weeks of a web-based health and well-being program.**Participants are assigned randomly – like the flip of a coin – to the app-based CBT program (Group A) or to the health and well-being program (Group B). If you consent to participate you will have an equal chance of being assigned to either group. Both groups will be assessed 5 times by a clinician, and will be monitored closely over the course of the study. Both groups will also be paired with a coach with whom you can communicate throughout the study, and who will support you during the program. The study commitment is as follows:
\- Participation is 6 months, plus an additional 1 year follow-up.
\- A baseline clinical appointment (3 hours); occurring over secure phone or video conference call
\- About 12 weeks of either app-based CBT OR web-based health and well-being, guided by a Bachelors-level coach who can answer questions that come up and help you along the way.
\- 4 clinical assessments (30 min-1 hour; $25 compensation per assessment); occurring over secure phone or video conference call
\- A possible consulting interview (1.5 hours) with collaborating technologists to provide feedback on the interventions ($25 compensation)
The study also requires downloading an app called Beiwe. The Beiwe app will collect information about location, movement, and phone usage. The data collected by the Beiwe app is processed to protect your privacy. This means that the app does not know your name, your phone number, or anything else that could identify you.
Please note this study requires that participants own a mobile smartphone with a data plan. If you do decide to partake in a baseline appointment, your medications **cannot change** throughout the study and **you cannot participate in any other ongoing or new psychotherapy.**
We are looking for adults with OCD in the United States who might be interested in contributing to this research study. If you are interested in participating or learning more, please fill out the brief survey below, and if it looks like you may be a good fit, someone from our research team will be in touch!
[https://redcap.partners.org/redcap/surveys/?s=N849CDK9E8](https://redcap.partners.org/redcap/surveys/?s=N849CDK9E8)
Alternatively, you can always email me directly at [ocdhealth@mgh.harvard.edu](mailto:ocdhealth@mgh.harvard.edu)
Best,
Emma | OCD |
I was talking with my parents earlier and we were talking about my great grandma that I have never met. It was somehow brought up how I have met her before, but I was just two. And from there we were talking about how old she was when she passed, and when I casually slipped up and said that I probably wouldn't live that long. They were just confused and didn't really know what to say to me. Idk, I just feel like I am only getting worse over time. I am usually excited over Christmas and winter, as it is my favorite time of the year. But this year is just way different. This year I really put some thought into my life and what it really is worth, turns out that it isn't a lot neither to me or my family. Last year is the first Christmas I have spent with my actual mom since I was like 9. And it isn't just because I haven't wanted to spend it with her or anything, I had no choice but to move in with her after my dad physically assaulted my sister. At the time we were living with my dad's sister and her abusive husband that was always constantly yelling at our cousins. So long story short we moved in with our mom that we hadn't seen in almost ten years. I haven't even mentioned the other countless exes and stepmothers that we were forced to live with because of our freeloader of a father couldn't keep a job. One of them was literally the same as the stepmother from Cinderella, but instead of straight up insults she would black mail us into doing chores and threaten us if we didn't listen. I have a whole lot more stuff like this that I have been dealing with for pretty much my entire life. But the thing that is really stuck in my brain is the look of fear on my sister's face after she was shoved into a wall by our dad. I was shaking after she left because I stood between her and my dad and had to calm him down before things got even worse. Just for clarification my dad isn't a small guy, he weighs almost 300 pounds and stands at almost seven feet tall. So basically the only people that I have ever been able to actually trust my entire life has been my sister, and my best friend who is the only friend that I have and is undoubtedly the longest friendship that I have ever had. I have known his since fourth grade. And now after all the bs that has been my life, I am met with this amazing virus going around. I do have to admit I was a fan at first because I didn't have to leave the house. But it has left me in a really bad position academic wise and I ended up unenrolling. I am supposed to be starting some sort of adult ed alternative classes, but to be honest my parents don't really care so I am usually just home alone all day, since my sister moved out with her boyfriend. I am just slowly losing myself every day, I forget to eat half of the time and when I do remember I end up eating a few things and just going back to bed. All my days are just a blur now and it feels like they are slowly just melting together. While I end up sleeping whole days away, I often can't sleep either and it is so bad sometimes because I end up being awake until my body physically can't handle it anymore and I just pass out. I have started cutting myself recently because it is a distraction when I am feeling low. It provides a little bit of relief though it is quite short lived. I really want to just take the knife I am using and just stab it right into my throught. Or go take a nap on the nearby tracks, or jump off of the nearby bridge over the tracks. I just want it to stop. The only reason that I haven't gone through with it yet is the guilt I would be putting on those few that actually care about me. I don't feel comfortable sharing this with anyone I know so I find myself posting here. I guess that it really is just a cry for help before I do something irreversible. I haven't been diagnosed with any sort of depression or anything due to a lack of telling anyone. I have reasons why I can't tell anyone and I just don't know what to do. I am stuck in this emotionless pit of a life and I don't have anyone I feel that I could reach out to comfortably. | depression |
I am a monster. I am in treatment for OCD for 1.5 months now. But I have days where my bad side still shows up. I am a medical student. 21F. Today I was in the OT and we were wearing scrubs. The scrubs were low necked. We were all standing close to each other and I noticed that my arm nudged someone's boob. I didnt make a big deal cuz we were crowding. However I apologized. Then it nudged someone else's boob. I apologized. She said "its ok". Then I thought I am a monster cuz such things dont happen by mistake. Then everytime I went closer I would hope my boob would touch their arm or shoulder to see their reaction. I would also stare at others to see if this was happening. Idk I was filled with so much anxiety. I kinda molested them didn't I?
Edit: at one point I even went close to them such that my boob touched their arm and they did not react. How is this not fucked up | OCD |
My whole household have AirPods and I’ve noticed my brother in particularly speaks extremely loudly now. My mom does too. If I take my AirPods out while talking I usually stop mid sentence cause I realise how loud I was speaking.
I think that might be the culprit. My brother (also ADHD) is an asshole straight up, and his presence alone agitates us. Every time he speaks, it’s with this sort of aggressive tone, no matter what he’s talking about. My mom 100% matches that energy which makes the whole living room so uncomfortable.
I feel like they’re yelling. It’s so loud that I want to scream. I frequently have to ask my mom to turn down the TV too cause it’s SO loud. I don’t know if they’re going deaf cause I’ve personally never had this problem before.
I always ask politely “can you please lower your voice?” And it’s always met with “NO? There needs to be space for everyone here.” Everyone except me I guess.
I always have to leave the room, because otherwise I’ll start screaming. I literally plug my ears around them when they’re talking to each other.
I can’t figure out if I’m the problem. I was only just diagnosed with ADHD and I guess it could be that. I also can’t figure out if I’m selfish when I ask them to lower their voices or if they just don’t respect me at all…
Thoughts? I’m so close to locking myself in my room again any time I’m home. It’s depressing though and I always end up smoking w33d cause they agitate me so much. I’ve been meaning to quit | ADHD |
Ok so hi! This is my first post and I'm kinda nervous.
I don't really feel valid because I don't think my traumas are really that dramatic. I've been giving my therapist hints about having things I don't want to share but telling about triggers in a way she suggested ptsd. Lately I've been having so much anxiety and my flashbacks have gotten so bad I get them almost daily that I feel like I have to talk about them. Sometimes I don't think my traumas are valid because after them I was fine for a long time and I've only been reacting to them for the past two years or so.
I've told my therapist about my fear of men but I said the only reason to it is because when I was a teenager my dad had a severe depression and he used to take it out on me mentally and when I was 16 and admitted to a psych ward I had a male nurse assigned to me who was very mentally abusive to me for 6 months always calling me names and berating me and telling me I wasn't sick and didn't have a right to be there. But what I don't talk about is what happened when I was 19 and I brought this guy to my apartment. I didn't want to say no or scream when he did what he did because I didn't want to say that I got raped so I know it was my fault what happened. He was really violent and not in a bdsm kind of way but in a way I cried during and bled for days and couldn't move the next day. I told my friend about it in a jokingly matter a week later and he asked "you do realize that was rape, right?" And I didn't talk about it anymore in a long time until I told a new boyfriend. He said "well you did consent" so I pretended it didn't happen for several years. (Luckily we broke up) Two years ago a man grabbed my neck firmly in a party because I was drunk and being an ass and when I got home I was in a total panic. For the next week I had panic attacks every day and slept only a couple hours each night and saw nightmares. I told my therapist about the week but not why I reacted that way to something so insignificant and I haven't told anyone about it. Because I know people in my life will say it was my fault and I'm to blame. I don't even think I physically can tell but I've been having nightmares again and when the flashbacks happen I feel a grip on my neck and I panic.
I've had other traumatic events that haven't been really dramatic but they've affected me in a same way. I've been taken to a psych ward against my will by police and ambulancemen a couple of times (they just appeared at my door without me expecting them) and once my dog was taken away at the same time (though I got him back). I can't talk about it to anyone because I feel so guilty and embarrassed. For the past two years I've had many dreams where the doorbell rings and I wake up in sweat and my heart is beating fast and I can't breathe even though I know it's just a dream because my dog would bark if someone had actually rung my doorbell.
Now it has gotten to a point I can't take it anymore and I'm constantly taking pills I shouldn't take too often because they're addicting for my anxiety. I just don't know what to do or say because my mind keeps telling me I shouldn't talk about these things because nobody will understand and they will say it's my fault. Or worse, pity me because I'm the type of person who wants to be in control and thinks being pitied would make me weak. But there isn't much strong parts left in me. | ptsd |
I don’t know why but my ocd is fixated on food at the moment, however I can’t stop thinking about the cells that make up food?! I feel like I’m going insane but thinking about it just freaks me out so bad. I’ve literally googled food and plant cells a million times. I don’t even know why.
Whenever I eat, I just think about the cells and everything that makes up it and it gives me major anxiety.
I feel like a total idiot right now and I’m so embarrassed about this. I know there is nothing bad about cells but it’s just the thought of them idk 😂😂 I’m still eating a normal amount but it’s a battle because the thoughts can make me nauseous
Anyway I just wanted to get this off my chest and hopefully in the future I can laugh about it, but right now it’s scary in a funny sort of way.. | OCD |
I went without any medical treatment whatsoever up until my mid-30's because I was neglected as a child, slipped through the cracks, had no access to healthcare and had severe undiagnosed adhd. Of course, there were a lot of mistakes I made along the way.
Prior to Covid, I had a job that I had maintained for 3 years and pretty good health insurance. Having healthcare was new to me and prior to this, I lived with severe depression and I was just waiting to die. Listening to podcasts actually brought me out of my depression and inspired me to give it one final shot. After seeing a therapist for a few months, I was diagnosed with ADHD. Soon thereafter, I was seeing a psychiatrist who prescribed me Vyvanse on day one of seeing her and then Adderall later when I was having negative reactions to Vyvanse. The Adderall worked but we were experimenting with doses. Then Covid happened and she wasn't doing tele-health, so I had to look for a new psychiatrist.
The wait for the next psychiatrist was 6 months. In that time, I lost my job, went into massive debt and transitioned to Medicaid. I missed that appointment and the next time I could see that psychiatrist was in another 6 months. By that time, I had been jobless for 8 months and had lost all of my savings.
When I saw this psychiatrist, on day one he told me that he doesn't prescribe stimulants to adults and that it's basically meth. I was very upset and felt hopeless but I carried on and sought out another psychiatrist. The wait for the next psychiatrist would be 4 more months.
Upon seeing the second psychiatrist, she told me that she doesn't prescribe stimulants to adults. So, I went off yet again to find another psychiatrist. The next wait was another 4 months.
I just saw my third psychiatrist today. Right off the bat, he told me that he doesn't prescribe stimulants to adults. I clearly explained that stimulants had helped me in the past, that my life has fallen apart during Covid because of my ADHD symptoms and that changed nothing. He said the only way he would make an exception is if I were already enrolled in college.
I feel pretty hopeless at this point. I'm in my late 30's. I failed high school and eventually got my GED. I failed at going to college. I'm a jack of all trades and that isn't marketable in the United States. I'm seriously considering bankruptcy because I can't pay my bills.
To my redditors with adhd, have any older adults in the crowd had such a hard time getting treatment from a psychiatrist? What do I do? I never compete anything I start. I can't process what I read. I can't listen to long dialogue. I can't study. I can't do anything without my mind drifting off quickly. This is debilitating and I simply can't function in society in my current state. 3 psychiatrists in a row have refused to help me by prescribing a med that I have documented proof helps me.
I'm close to giving up. I don't know what to do anymore. The system failed me and I'm not capable of carrying myself anymore. If you read this far, thanks. I just want to function in society. I want to attend and complete college. I want to become a software developer. Anyone out there get through it using only coping skills? How long did it take? Did anyone just give up and learn to feel content in that decision? I need help. | ADHD |
It's frustrating that I could've gotten extremely helpful meds that have helped my friends function so much better. As a child too, now as an adult I'm building up all of these coping skills/working to seek out medication. I have a lot of personal goals and everyday I feel like I barely meet the bare minimum. I'm nowhere near the person I want to be and I'm so deeply aware of how much different me as a person is from my goals. My parents talked so much about how it's laziness, how meds will mess up my creativity (my creativity is more negatively impacted by the fact that I can't reach my goals but alright) They refused to listen to the school and any professional we talked to. I came to them a few years later and I was told I was making excuses and I didn't have anything wrong with me.
Honestly now, it's shitty but apart of me is somewhat amused whenever they're annoyed about me struggling to accomplish things. You chose to avoid treating your child's disorder, now you have to deal with my dysfunction until I can get proper help myself.
To end my ranting on a positive note, I'm trying to build structure. I have a job now so I have a fixture to base my days around. I'm also trying to finally build up some of the daily habits I lost during covid. So far progress. | ADHD |
Had an appointment with my doctor this week to discuss meds.
Long story short, I had an epiphany recently that my doc misdiagnosed me with "General Anixety Disorder" when in reality I've been suffering from ADHD my whole life. She prescribed an SSRI (antidepressent) 6 years ago that's now giving me horrible side effects.
I've been researching like crazy. My therapist agrees with me that Wellbutrin will help me taper off of these awful antidepressants and help the ADHD.
So I'm explaining all of this to my doctor as politely as possible even though I would love to tell her off. She literally CUTS ME OFF when I mention the word ADHD and says:
"Since the pandemic started, every patient under the age of 50 tells me they think they have ADHD. Every patient over age 50 thinks they suddenly developed dementia. I even thought I ADHD for a few days but I know it was just due to stress of the pandemic!" 😒 She was scoffing while she said this....
I calmly told her that I thought I had ADHD back in elementary school (i'm 26 now) but my mom dismissed me just like she was. She then proceeded to lecture me on stimulants! 🤣🤣🤣 I said, "Well, I was trying to explain that I don't want to be on a stimulant that's why I'm suggesting Wellbutrin because it isn't a stimulant.."
...........She told me she isn't a fan of Wellbutrin. Tells me all of my ADHD symtoms are side effects of an anxiety disorder.
After all of this fuckery she tells me she's sending in a prescription for Wellbutrin. Later that day I read her notes from the visit and she stated that SHE suggested Wellbutrin because she thinks I have ADHD!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
*Time to find a new doctor* | ADHD |
I started doing 3D modeling and decided i needed to upgrade my computer, the rubber band and asthmatic mouse powered thing I had just couldn't quite handle the processing lol
With help from a tech friend i ordered the bits and plugged them all in last night. Unfortunately it didn't work but no stress, I thought I'd deal with it today when I was a bit more awake.
Anyway, I cracked on with it this morning, methodically went through everything and finally figured the problem (turns out I'd put the RAM in the wrong slot and needed to reset the Bios).
It's only a fairly small thing but I managed to install a new processor, motherboard and RAM into my case without it exploding or costing me a lot of money for bits i screwed up 😁 | ADHD |
Hi! I think I have hypochondria focused on mental health. I just check my mental health all the time, learning and reading about it all the info and the fact that i have ocd makes me sooooooo anxious! Does anybody here have hypochondria about mental disorders? Many thanks! | OCD |
First off, I want to preface this by saying I COMPLETELY understand those that have been very negatively impacted by their autism and feel a cure would greatly improve their lives, not to mention those on the spectrum who require more 24/7 support and are unable to do the things that most of us take for granted.
But I feel that a lot of people that say they would take a cure right now if it were possible may be overrating what it would do for them (Note that whenever I use the word 'cure' in this post, I am talking about a *complete* cure, where one would become neurotypical).
While we undeniably have it way tougher than neurotypicals in many ways, neurotypicals still go through a lot of the same struggles we do as well. We're not the only ones who struggle with anxiety, depression, loneliness, rejection, burnout, etc. There's a reason why mental health awareness and mental illness stories have started to become more out in the open in recent years. There's still stigma for sure, but it's far less taboo to talk about them now than it was maybe 10-15 years ago. That wouldn't be possible without enough neurotypicals coming out and admitting their vulnerabilities.
And to that point - we don't often see people when they're at their most vulnerable and insecure, let alone hear them talk about them openly. It's certainly understandable since we usually are already trying to deal with our own issues and more likely to see (at least from the outside) how other people seem to be doing a lot better. But just like they may not always see us when we're struggling, we don't always see them when *they're* struggling. Social media certainly doesn't help in this respect, as anyone can craft an image that makes themselves look better than they really are.
I also think it's important to make the distinction between issues caused directly by autism versus issues caused by the consequences of being autistic in a predominantly neurotypical world. Obviously a cure would likely get rid of a lot of the issues that can be tied directly to autism like interpersonal skills, hypersensitivity, and attention issues. But for mental illnesses like anxiety and depression as I mentioned above, those themselves aren't necessarily 'caused' by autism. Our brains may work differently in the *way* we experience them, but that doesn't mean autism itself causes them. So for a condition like loneliness for example, autism itself doesn't cause loneliness, but is the result of issues with interpersonal skills due to autism causing rejection by others, causing social isolation, which causes loneliness. And that loneliness in turn may result in a persistent depression or resentment towards people in relationships. And instead of asking for help, they may cope by engaging in a lot of online chatting or escaping into their special interests, sometimes even further isolating themselves from others.
Now a cure might make mental illnesses like anxiety and depression easier to *treat,* but they likely wouldn't go away completely. If anything I feel like others may be more likely to take mental health for people like us more seriously, because they know our brains are hardwired differently. I do understand this isn't the true reality right now, but for those that do want to understand and help people like us, a lot of the goals of autism awareness and acceptance can also be applied to general mental health awareness and acceptance, whether you're neurotypical or not.
The last thing about a cure is if it were to be available one day, how would it be legislated? Most likely it would be an optional cure, where those that feel it would greatly improve their lives could take it, while others who feel their autism has had positive effects on their lives or are not comfortable with the possibility of losing the one major thing that shapes their personality, values, and interests could refuse it. However, this could lead to an unintended consequence where tension may develop between those that still hold negative perceptions and stigmas toward autistics and the autistics that choose not to take the cure in which rejection and prejudice may become justified in the name of 'just take the cure,' as well as the discouragement of support systems and therapy. As a result, those that chose not to take the cure in the first place may end up feeling pressured to do so to in order to avoid those negative consequences. A cure may remove a lot of the hardships that come with being autistic, but it won't remove the stigma surrounding it.
Those are my thoughts. I know this can be a touchy subject, so if there's anyone here that would take a cure for their autism if it became available, and felt I misunderstood their stance on it, PLEASE let me know.
**EDIT:** So based on some of the replies here, it's probably best if I ask this question: Would you take a cure for your autism if it allowed you to be able to pick and choose which aspects of it you would like to keep and get rid of? | aspergers |
Hello! I've been dealing with uncontrollable mental OCD for the past 4 months. I'm struggling every day from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. I do nothing but think about intrusive thoughts, I csnt watch tv I can simply go outside and enjoy my day. I cant even hang out with friends, because I feel like until I get over this, it wont let me live my life.
This is an embarrassing OCD, it's a type of relationship OCD if I'm correct, it's something called Retroactive Jelousy, even though I think mine is much works from how people describe Retroactive jealousy.
This started 4 months ago, when I was cleaning my apartment and found a note from my significant other, that she had a ONS with this guy that I knew and he hated me because I was with her and he always wanted to be with her. And what triggered me was "was just a ONS to you to make him mad" all he mentioned was that they talked on the phone, that she called him for advice. But he mentioned that one phone call as a ONS. And it took me off the edge. I started to think she cheated on me. I've been with her for 10 years and know her longer than that. And the time he spoke about was when me and her were in a long distance relationship.
I started piecing things together from the past to find out the truth. Asking her a million questions. Not believing a word she was saying...I got over it eventually, but what happened was, it spiralled down to something else. I started to think she slept with another guy that was her friend at the time. Asking her questions, she denied cheating on me. I kept asking if there is more people she slept with from the ones I dont know about. She said no and said no for a while. Until she finally told me that she slept with 3 extra people, and one of them was a guy I knew that liked her. And she said she slept with him after we broke up long distance.
That took me off the edge. I thought for sure she cheated on me with that guy when they hung out. Or she kept him as a side guy to save when we are not together, because she knew he liked her. There are all my assumptions. But she says I'm being delusional and it just happened, she wasnt saving anyone for later. I started assuming every guy she ever met she slept with. I'm terrified that if she talks to anyone she meets now, she may keep them on the side, even though shes never had a guy friend while with me for the 10 years of living with her. I'm making everything a worst case scenario, she really is a honest and good person and believe she did nothing wrong and would never hurt me intentionally. But my mind still thinks there is more people, I have to ask her constantly, i still think she saves guys while with me, even though she dosent talk to guys while with me. I was constantly seeing sexual images with her and her past lovers.
Everytime I get a negative thought i feel a surge of anxiety and its constant 24/7. I would throw up in the morning. I tried prozac and zoloft they only make me feel worst.
But here is my main question, I know with regular OCD when you have a fear or death or let's say germs. You can either avoid it "I know it makes things worst" or you can face it and say "I will die" or expose yourself to germs. But in my situation, I cant simply say "my girlfriend is untrustworthy and cheated on me and will cheat on me" everytime I get convinced she is someone like that, I go into rage and even tried to kick her out of my house. You see I know deep inside she never cheated, i know deep inside that shes the sweetest girl I've ever met. I wouldn't be with her for 10 years of she wasnt. But my fear is that she isnt the girl that i thought she was, and it's doing everything it can to destroy my relationship. I'm so scared for my life. If I lose her, at this point i wont trust anyone in a relationship with this condition. And honestly I've been torturing my gf with non stop question to get relief.
I get a thought, "she cheated in me" I ask her questions to see if any of my thoughts make sense. She explains everything and it makes sense, I start to feel like a delusional insecure idiot. But then i start ruminating, and think she cheated on me again and have to ask her a million questions. Then I would ask about how much times she had sex with a certain person, or they were actually dating or a ONS, I try to come up with reasons to see if shes mischievous. And a lot of the times my OCD wins and I start looking at her like shes a threat.
How do I get past this? Do I accept the thought of her cheating on me even though it's not true. And I keep thinking there is more people shes not telling me about. I think shes liar. Even though shes only lied to me about 1 thing and it's the extra people she didnt tell me about to hurt my feelings. But from this point. I'm so afraid, I'm afraid to mind will trick me into thinking shes someone shes not and end my relationship. I'm doing everything I can to stop this. But I simply dont know how to face these fears, they seem so real and it's like they are happening real time. Please someone if you have any advice, please let me know. Thank you! | OCD |
Hi, I [F22] was diagnosed with OCD in fall of 2019 and have since been put on medication (Prozac) and therapy. I just graduated college and I’m under a lot of stress right now because I’m unemployed in a U.S. city with an expensive cost of living.
I struggle the most with health anxiety and lately my issues have been manifesting as a fear of being alone. Whether I’m at my apartment or out and about, I’m terrified if I’m alone and convinced that I’m dying. My throat has felt constricted consistently for about 2 weeks now. This is making me fear that I’m going to suffer an asthma attack or some other problem. I have an inhaler, but it’s down to just 1 use left and I can’t immediately get a new one because my primary care is in the process of switching to a new provider.
Anyways, I’m sorry if this isn’t very cohesive. I am just wondering if anyone has advice or suggestions for me, or even a similar story or feeling. I feel okay when I’m with other people, though the throat feeling is still there if I think about it at all (I think it may be partially due to seasonal allergies). But I’m seriously a wreck, I can barely get out of bed when I’m alone and going to my front door makes my heart rate spike up from anxiety that something medical will happen to me from the movement. I know it’s ridiculous but ain’t that just the way. Thanks! | OCD |
I hate it. I hate having OCD. I hate the anxiety it triggers, the compulsions, the intrusive thoughts. I hate how my mind can never be still. I hate the checking, the avoidance, the staring off into space because I get lost in a thought. I hate how one intrusive thought just brings on another one. I want to be done with this disease. I’m not suicidal but I hate this disease with every core in my body. No one really understands and it’s difficult even trying to explain to other people. I wish I was just normal. | OCD |
Over the past few days, I have encountered so many painful instances of people blindly misdiagnosing, misdefining and misusing OCD, with no thereafter corrections, it honestly hurts.
The one specific instance I’m going to talk about is as follows: There was a post about how it’s gross that we eat using the same utensils as the many people prior to us. Under it, someone commented, “omg you’re going to make my utensil OCD act up lol” or something similar, thereafter saying they’re so extremely “ocd” they have to bring their own utensils wherever they go to eat out. Then when confronted by another who said they probably just have a fear of germs/sickness, and likely don’t actually know what OCD is, the original commenter went off saying how you shouldn’t doubt people’s self diagnoses because it’s hurtful, and that they 100% have it for the aforesaid reasons.
It is obvious to anyone who’s read anything about OCD in a clinical sense that this person does not have OCD, but rather a fear of germs/sickness, seeing how this psued-obsession is fixed only on one non-irrational thing, and the compulsion tied within is not disruptive nor technically ritualistic/routine (cause how often do you eat out. It’s not daily for most all people).
Not to mention the commenter didn’t even say they feared germs. They just said it was gross so they bring their own. So it isnt even an obsession at that point, it’s just a human preference.
Yet this commenter got multiple hundreds of likes, and were backed up, whereas the correct cynic was berated.
I’ve seen this happen so many times, in person and especially online, with people getting insane support for self diagnosing themselves with OCD in an entirely incorrect way, like one I saw that essentially said: “I wash my hands before every meal, lol my ocd is so bad”.
Supporting these people is not good, even if you feel like you’re being kind. OCD has suffered enough, being reduced to a quirk everyone has like ADHD, and such people as aforementioned propagate it.
This insane and pervasive misuse of OCD demeans it, makes it harder for those ACTUALLY affected to realize it, and justly hurts/frustrates those who are debilitated by it, myself included.
Please just remember that OCD has to have BOTH an irrational obsession and a disruptive and ritualistic compulsion.
Checking your watch a lot because you fear you’re going to be late to work is NOT ocd. That’s common sense.
Scrupulously washing your hands before and after every meal because you’re *specifically* scared of getting the flu isn’t ocd. That’s a probable germ phobia or once again, common sense.
Checking if you locked your door repeatedly is not OCD. It’s common sense in response to fear.
And to wrap up, brining your own utensils when you eat at a restaurant because you think communal utensils are gross is most definitely, NOT. OCD.
Remember. Don’t self diagnose; and don’t talk about disorders you are not formally educated on. It just hurts those affected.
Thank you for reading, and sorry for the length, these people just utterly exhaust me. | OCD |
Does anyone have experience with Mallinckro, a generic version of Adderall?
My pharmacy replaced my usual generic with this shit, and I literally can’t function. I’m convinced it’s all placebos. I did a quick google search and it seems I’m not alone, but every complaint was from 2018. I can’t seem to find anything recent, and the company looks allusive, too. It almost feels like a fake med. I have even taken to shaking each pill to see if there’s anything inside the capsule.
Adderall is a hard enough prescription to get filled in the first place, but now I’m at the beginning of the 30 days with this crap. The pharmacy won’t switch it out with a new prescription. By the time my doctor figured it out, I’m gonna need a new script anyway.
It’s so frustrating and I’m sick of the side effects. My head is short circuiting, it feels like it’s being mildly electrocuted every five minutes. Oh and my depression symptoms are very alive.
Has anyone heard of Mallinckro as a generic for Adderall? Why does this shit exist. | ADHD |
I’ve been having bad stomach pain for weeks from my Sertraline dose (50mg) but it’s the only thing keeping me functioning so I have to cope. Problem is that I’ve got a lot of stomach ulcer symptoms. Im terrified of going into hospital, but I have to wait till Friday before I can speak to a doctor. I’ve been prescribed omeprazole to help with indigestion (what I believed it was when I talked to a pharmacist yesterday) but I’ve not felt any improvements yet. But now my brains fixated on it being an stomach ulcer and won’t listen to any reasoning I give it.
I don’t want to die, but it feels like I will die from this. My intrusive thoughts tell me I’ll go to sleep tonight and wake up vomiting blood. My parents will rush me to ER but my stomach walls will have burned through. I’ll be in agony and panicking like hell, and I’ll die in the car on the way to hospital. The thoughts are telling me that if it doesn’t happen tonight, it’ll definitely have happened by Friday.
I’m so stuck on what to do. I don’t know how to help myself. I don’t want to die, I’m 17, I’ve got my whole life ahead of me and it could all be taken away in seconds. | OCD |
Covid hit us in the face again and new rules have been announced where i live. School are going to be remote, and the kids vacations have been extended.
I'm a dad of two kids (5 and 3 years old). I have habe adhd and i'm 100% sure my oldest has adhd. He is highly impulsive, hypersensitive and has trouble regulating emotions. We also have a new dog.
At the beginning of covid i had a huge burnout due to being working from home with the kids (1y and 3 y old at the time) and i didn't have any space. My gf was not working from home then. Thankfully she now is. I'm kinda ptsd from it to be honest.
I recently got a new job and i love it but i can't miss it too much because i don't have that many vacation and i need the money. But when i work with the kids at home, i'm interupted all the time and its really taxing. With the new dog there are even more interuptions. And my gf already do a lot of things to help and she is getting tired too. I fear i will fall back to burnout if i work but if don't work, i kinda go in a mode where i'm understimulated and my energy drop very low.
I don't know how to cope with this and my gf is tired of me complaining about how i need space and need less interruptions. If i talk to her about it, we always end up fighting. My gf is exhausted too (anxiety). I need lots of me time and i can't have it.
I fear i will be going back to exhaustion and i don't want to be impatient/mean with kids and gf. I love them but i can't show them my good side with all that is happening. I feel that i can't handle all this without help. I feel misunderstood by my gf. She always say things like "it's life" "everyone struggle with covid" and i'm like yeah but it way above my limits. Interuption, unexpected kid problems or tasks, lack of me time, constant screan from the kids. Its really overwhelming.
What are the strategies you guys use in similars situations? | ADHD |
It may seem like it comes from a place of selfishness and possessiveness, but I know logically for a fact that there isn't suppose to be anything wrong with concurrently liking things with someone and I'm able to recognize it, so I never say anything about it, but it affects my ability to enjoy things sometimes. This is a weird thing I've struggled with for pretty much my entire life. I'm convinced Autism somehow crossed some wires in my brain to connect the cringe part with the concurrent-liking-of-things part. It doesn't happen with friends, it usually happens most often with family members for some reason. | aspergers |
This is gonna sound weird, but whenever I'm in the shower I'm more likely to get creative ideas or figure things out that I'm struggling with. It's like my meditation zone in a way. Is it the white noise, or the sensation of hot water on my skin? No clue, but it feels like a "zen zone" lol.
Anyway, just wondering if you guys have things you do that reset your brain or help you focus. | ADHD |
Almost a full year ago, I was sexually assaulted and it’s taken a lot of hard work to come to terms with it and heal, and though I’ve come a very far way, obviously it’s still going to effect me no matter how “recovered” I seem to think I am.
Its something I’ll have to deal with for the rest of my life.
Today, when talking to my boyfriend, he phrased his statement in away that caused me to have an emotional flashback of shame, self-hate, guilt, etc. Almost immediately.
It brought me back to that moment when I felt responsible or hated even for what happened to me. I started crying because in my head I had to start chanting “it’s not your fault” and start soothing myself.
But it caused me to (almost) lash out at my boyfriend even though I know he didn’t intend to make me feel that way, he just worded something a little.. unwisely.
I had to take a few minutes to explain to him that I wasn’t mad or upset with him like it seemed, but that I was just having an emotional flashback and why and how his phrasing kind of triggered it.
Neither of us blames the other for the situation and we’ll move past this in a way that will make our relationship and understanding eachother stronger. Afterwards, we both had a smoke to fully relax (yay legal marijuana 😍) and we’re both fine now.
But it made me curious, when any of you have an emotional flashback during a conversation, how do you handle it during and afterwards?
Do you explain as you’re calming down like I did, or do you have to separate yourself and come back later to explain things? How do YOU like to explain your flashbacks when they effect other people? | ptsd |
Hi again, don't worry I'm not going to be posting every single day haha. I guess I'm getting used to being able to talk about this stuff for the first time in years. It's both frightening and liberating. This is mainly just a vent. If any of it is inappropriate, I'm sorry.
My OCD had previously always been closer to pure-o (all my rituals were mental), but lately I've developed a compulsion of obsessively checking and re-checking websites and forums I used to use years ago for any trace of my old usernames and posts.
I'm not going to go into detail about what I'm worried about finding (none of it was cruel or bullying or even particularly wrong, but it was during a phase were I was seeking validation and did some things that were quite out of character) because I really don't enjoy talking about it and I'm pretty ashamed.
I know damn well I deleted all but one of my profiles, which I thankfully had the presence of mind to wipe when I suddenly realised I was making a big mistake, although I lost the login details years ago so I can't delete it. None of it is linked to my real name, thank God.
I'm not seeking reassurance as I know we don't do that here and I'm very aware that it doesn't help. I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest. I'm really not happy that I've got this new ritual that I'm compelled to do several times a day, despite knowing I'm not going to find anything.
I'm trying to resist it. I don't want to be doing this. | OCD |
Do you completely re-experience it as if it’s legit happening again? Stay in the present for the other senses but feel it happening? Etc. how does it feel to you? | ptsd |
I am going through tough times and need to vent.
I studied 5 years in university. I have a Masters degree. And I can't get a fucking job. What's the fucking point?
I finished my masters in December 2019. Beginning of 2020 I started looking for a job and Boom Covid happens. Lockdown. The only thing I could get after lockdown were unpaid volunteering opportunities. I thought it's OK, at least I get some work experience for some months and then I can get a job. I worked as a volunteer from June 2020 to July of this year. And the work wasn't very much related to my studies so at this point I forgot most of what I learned in university. To the point where I am even less qualified now. I am more qualified for the kind of work I did as a volunteer but guess what? There are barely any fucking job opportunities in that. I have been looking for work for 4 months now, I have been rejected or ignored on applications so many times. I feel like a complete piece of shit. Like I am worth nothing. Like all the money spent in university was wasted. Like all the decisions I made until now just lead to shit. I am so depressed. Some days I just stay in bed thinking it's not worth getting up just to do the same everyday of looking online for work and not finding anything or opening my email to find more rejections.
I lost all my self confidence and I didn't have much to begin with. I sleep all day and stay awake all night because I don't have any routine. I lost interest in all my hobbies and everything that used to make me happy. I spend weeks in a row without leaving the house and talking with people other than my parents. I shut off from friends because seeing their success was making me feel like shit and become a bad friend. And I have no idea what to do to change things. Feels like this is just what I deserve.
Ah and to make it even worse I finally had a girlfriend for awhile during my volunteering work and she had to return to her country. So now I don't have a job and I don't have a girlfriend. My life is really going perfect. | depression |
I have a friend who I have known for about 18 months now. She is so sweet, caring, and kind, but my God, life is tough on her. She has diagnosed ASD, GAD, Depression (on and off), ADHD, Misophonia, and Sensory Processing Disorder. She is currently wrapping up her second to last year of college and the classes are getting tough. I have been giving her a good place to study since the libraries are closed, but she still is struggling in school. Just now, she told me that if she failed her class she would run away and end it all. She had a psychiatrist but stopped seeing her since the psychiatrist did not understand her and her advice was not very good. The psychiatrist literally told her to stop stimming. While my friend is looking for a psychiatrist that specializes in patients with ASD, they are HARD to find. Has anyone here found a psychiatrist/therapist that really understands their situation?
My friend is currently laying in my bed crying. This is not the first time she has done this. I have tried to comfort her and prevent her from crying all alone, but she is insistent on it and said it helps her feel better, and that if I stopped her she would only do it again later. She says she can't feel better until she has cried it out. I do not have diagnosed ASD (never been tested), but I do stim and have diagnosed ADHD. Should I let her cry like this? Is this the right thing to do? How can I make her feel better when she is feeling like that?
What advice would you give to someone who doesn't have ASD on how to comfort someone with ASD when they are feeling down? | aspergers |
Hi just knew here and I am just knew this disorder a couple days ago. I would just like to ask if how did we get this? I mean Where it all started? | OCD |
I have a pretty severe form of ADHD, and while I am medicated, I'm still only fully functional for a few hours per day. It really prevents me from being ambitious, which sucks.
I'm not exactly Mr. Successful, but I was able to graduate from a good university with an adequate GPA in some tough classes. My saving grace was my keyboard skills. I took typing class twice in middle school because I thought the teacher was funny, and got pretty damn good. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made.
Assuming I can channel my focus for an hour or so, I'm able to take really good notes and do things like make my own quizlets in half the time it would take someone else. Typing fast can allow you to study more efficiently if you're not capable of putting in the number of focused hours that other students can. I would definitely recommend it. The time spent learning will be returned to you 10-fold in time saved later on. | ADHD |
I want to thank each and everyone part of this community (even the lurkers)
I have never felt so understood. Of course I don’t agree with everything, but the fact that there are other human beings on this earth, with the same story- mind blowing.
I had only responded to 1 post before this. From here I’d like to share my experiences and downfalls and appreciation.
Thank you everyone. Remember you are not alone. | ADHD |
Looking to get into that field- but with no computer experience plus I’m 42 year old Aspie female. | aspergers |
Anyone else struggling with shame today as well as what feels like OCD burnout? Like I don't even know anymore what I'm ruminating over because logically there's no sense to it but I've been ruminating for over 3 weeks now and i just don't even know anymore but my brain feels like mush. | OCD |
I have so much I’m supposed to do today but all I want to do is make myself as small as possible and hide... I feel frozen in place and I don’t know what to do. | ptsd |
Hello everyone,
I recently was diagnosed with ADHD and was given an option to start 20mg adderal xr. I decided to try it, and so far it’s been a little rough. It gives me pretty bad headaches and I also feel achy. I read online these are normal symptoms. The medication helps me so I’d like to continue taking it, but I’m wondering if there is something I can do (besides take Tylenol) to avoid or alleviate the headaches. Does anyone have tips/tricks to making their meds more manageable? | ADHD |
Is this my OCD talking? I view someone I know as having the perfect physical appearance, mind, and whatever path they pursue as a goal to follow. I haven't actually put anything into being that person but the thought lingers in my mind that they are perfect and my mind starts obsessing a bit. It does seem to be making me a little bit hesitant to do certain things because I don't want to copy them. | OCD |
anyone have tips for sleeping at night? I've gotten beaten horrendously so many god damn times, and my brain just dosent want to shut off. I'm scared of falling asleep. not because of nightmares (I do get them, just not very often), but because I feel like something's gunna happen to me while I'm asleep. I just started a new job, and I dont wanna fail as a new employee. I just need some tips on how to fall asleep | ptsd |
Hey guys.
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. Finally finding a medication and dosage that works for me. But it’s of course decreasing my appetite.
Do you guys force yourselves to eat multiple times per day, or do you snack and eat one big meal at night?
Also, any recommendations for food content to make sure I’m getting the nutrients I need? | ADHD |
Hello,
So I’ve always had intrusive thoughts throughout my life however they never affected me until the theme I have now (it started in Feb 2021). At the time I was in a constant state of anxiousness - it’s a lot better now but still really hard. My thoughts get a lot harder to deal with when I’m alone ESPECIALLY at home (it makes me feel rather suicidal) - it has gotten to the point where I barely spend time at home because they get so bad.
Is this turning into a compulsion? | OCD |
I am currently undiagnosed, but deeply relate to all of the qualifications besides one thing- special interests. I definitely have certain topics that I thoroughly enjoy learning about, but nothing, currently, that verges on the point of obsession like what I understand marks the difference between a special interest and a hobby or something you are just interested in. But I also think I may be caught up on a technicality. What makes something a special interest? Is a certain level of obsession involved?
I have in the past had interests that verged on obsession, but I tend to go through phases where I don't have anything that I, with my current definition of what a special interest is, would consider a special interests. Is this something anyone can relate to?
And finally, do you have to check all the boxes to 'actually' be on the spectrum?
​
Edit: I guess I should specify/reword a bit: does anyone go through periods of time where they don't have an active special interest? (that is one that they aren't currently invested in) | aspergers |
Hello, been on Adderall XR for a few years now and the difference is night and day. I'm angry with myself for not doing medication sooner. But the side effects are really getting to me. Mostly dry mouth. Right now, I can only take it four days a week to keep the dry mouth under control. If i took it daily, I'd get ulcers from the dry mouth. Plus, there's the pain of having to deal with it being controlled. My doctor's great and actually believes me but the office staff and the pharmacy staff is not-so-great. So I'm researching alternatives. Anybody tried Vyvanse, etc? I'm not even sure what else is there right now. | ADHD |
I have been in therapy before. Sure, it was helpful, but it never really seemed to help me feel "better". I've been avoiding trying it again, even though I do recognize that I'm spiraling. Why put so much time and effort in for nothing??
Through this sub, I learned about EMDR. I did a ton of research, found a few therapists in my area that were trained and then... nothing. It's been weeks of avoidance and excuse making.
But, today, I emailed the office of the therapist that has stood out to me. I couldn't bring myself to actually call...but I reached out! Honestly, I'm TERRIFIED of going. I'm afraid even if/when I make an appointment, I'll just bail. I'm trying to think too far in advance though. One right step at a time! | ptsd |
Hi all,
I’m really struggling these days with feeling like I’m not healed enough.
I was only raped once, twelve years ago, in a violent attack by a stranger. I struggle so much with it because I have friends who suffered worse abuse and trauma. In my head, it wasn’t that bad, and I feel ashamed that I’m still stuck after all these years. I think of it all the time.
I’m in therapy twice a week and I’ve done a lot of exposure work around it, but I feel like I could be doing so much more with my life. I work full time and try to stay busy but it’s never enough to keep me from feeling hopeless.
I don’t know why I keep going back to the rape in my head. It was my first time. I was 19 and he was 30. He approached me on the street while I was drunk and lured me away from my friend. He brought me back to his place and started kissing me and then proceeded to orally and vaginally rape me. He suffocated me and took pictures of me and bit me and forced me to say things to him during the assault. He wouldn’t stop when I told him I was bleeding. I remember looking down and seeing blood on the sheets. He prevented me from leaving and then gave me a smug smile and a kiss when he got off of me.
I still struggle because I think it was just a one night stand or something. I snuck out when he was asleep.
Idk, it never feels like rape to me and I feel like I’m lying when I talk about it. But that’s what happened.
I just don’t think I’m normal for being where I am right now. I feel like I should be so much further along than I am and that really sucks. I don’t want a relationship and I’m scared of men and sex.
I know I wasn’t legally a child at the time, but I feel like he, as an adult, preyed on me due to my age and vulnerability. I remember the evil, sneering look in his eyes and the smugness and this sketchy expression he had on his face.
I don’t feel like my reaction is justified to this event.
Can others relate? | ptsd |
Ive been having quite bad anxiety triggered by mental thoughts of me going crazy or harming myself cause of depression and anxiety. Also I fear the emotions anxiety and depression a lot so when I feel them I feel super scared. However I started ERP yesterday and basically tell myself I will be depressed and anxious forever, also that I am actually crazy. However ever since trying and im still trying now I feel on the edge of a mental breakdown and having constant panic attakcs. How long will it take for me to get better or shoudl I give up as I dont know how much longer I can take this. | OCD |
I just want it to stop. I’m so weak and I feel I can no longer fight against this incredible force that drowns everything that is left.
I’m completely empty. I’m basically dead but alive. I’ve been like this for over 20 years and I have no greater wish than to die. | depression |
Hey guys. To begin with, I'm not very sure this is appropriate for this subreddit and if it's not I'm sorry! I'm a 24yo female and I suffer from PTSD. I've never been professionally diagnosed with the disorder, I've visited therapists but I was never really able to bring up my trauma. However, I'm not here to look for an armchair therapist or somebody to dump my emotional baggage on.
I often find myself wanting to talk about how I feel about certain things I see/hear/think, but I realize that people have limited empathy and as much as my friends try to be understanding they can't fully understand what I'm going through. I'd like to have someone that I can relate to and empathize on this level, so I guess that's why I'm here.
Overall I'm a very relaxed and chill person, we can bullshit and talk crap and also have serious discussions. That's it! If you're interested you're welcome to shoot me a message. | ptsd |
Hey everyone! Hope your day is going well wherever you may be!
I have a few questions with some context to them.
* I have developed a deep relationship with a friend of mine. We have known each other for about 2 years. We have gotten personal and I have even cried in his arms when i burnt out and crashed last month. The relationship is getting weird. This was going on during when I got personal with him. So I don't think its that. Anyway, he will ghost me on text (read receipt, no reply on a question). He never calls me back and always sends my calls to vm. Something weird is going on, I dont know what to think or do. Some help or experiences with this would be nicely appreciated.
* Should I flat out ask him whats up and explain I think and can feel a disconnect? Im stumped.
Thanks to everyone for reading and replying! I will be talking to you in comments as well if we start a dialogue. | aspergers |
Hello, I need some help. I just keep thinking that I’m never going to find love and never going to be successful. I also don’t feel safe at school because our campus police officer is overweight, so in the event of a 🔫 on campus we are kinda screwed. All of this is making me pretty suicidal and I’m only in middle school. Help. | depression |
Its no joke.
I believe it can be used as an incredible gift but its a burden before it becomes a gift. | aspergers |
my brain is just like " searching for complusions, please wait" and i just can't concentrate or do anything because i feel like something is missing but i don't know WHOOOOT | OCD |
They have extremely bad PTSD from growing up. Constantly being berated by his parents for small things, having his piano taken away for "not practicing enough", as well as a wooden clarinet for the same reasons, and we're always looked at as if they were idiotic for not knowing a simple thing, or being berated for asking for help. This is the tip of the iceberg. They also have Autism, which compounds everything. My mother and I had to take him in because of a friendship that went south (mentally abusive and would've been physical), and that undid years of therapy that he went through. I'm currently sitting here almost having an anxiety attack myself because of my own empathy, and don't understand how to help. They're extremely touch averse, and rarely, if ever, ask for help because of how negative their childhood was growing up. Help. I'm on the verge of snapping because I myself have been under a lot of stress, and I know that that will only make things worse. Please. Help. Me. | ptsd |
Wondering what people have tried and what has worked!
I have many different subtypes of OCD. | OCD |
TW: sexual abuse
So am I the only one that gets severely triggered with the smell of sex? Like the scent your body and the other persons body give off? For a little bit of background I was molested multiple times both as a child and a preteen. I’ve also been sexually assaulted quite a bit of times and I can’t even masturbate without being triggered by the smell. Plus any tips for sexual ptsd? I can’t masturbate without flashbacks/feeling sick to my stomach but I’m also so hyper sexual? | ptsd |
My dog is 8 months old, still a puppy. I got him 3 months ago, and have done everything I can for him. I paid for a behavior training class as well as an online service dog class, and have worked hard to try to correct his behavior. He’s had some minor health problems, and I’ve taken him to the vet multiple times to address them. I walk him 3-4 miles a day and feed him twice a day. But he’s causing so much stress. He doesn’t play well with other dogs and snaps at them during walks. When people that he doesn’t know we’ll try to pet him, he flinches and starts barking at them. Whenever I leave the house. He barks and howls for a long time. I can’t go out with friends or stay over at a friends house because I have to be with him. Sometimes he gets diarrhea and will wake me up every 3 hours to go outside. He whines when I don’t give him attention. I just don’t know if I’m giving him the best care or helping with his anxiety, and he is certainly not helping with my anxiety. He’s making it worse. I don’t know if I can handle the responsibility and stress any longer. What do I do? | depression |
Basically loud noises like vacuum cleaner, washing machine and tools. Plus loud music really really distress me. But other sounds like bangs, vehicles and metal music don't. That leads to weird situations where my family plays loud music in my car and I tell them it really bothers me, they then get mad when I put on earphone and listen to metal and they don't understand why their music bothers me so much but mine which is louder doesn't.
Any ideas on how can I explain it to them? Also worth noting that my mom and dad know about my diagnosis but as far as I know my siblings don't and I prefer to keep it that way. | aspergers |
So I was dumped by my ex boyfriend a few weeks ago. And I feel so used and violated. He talked so nice to me and made me feel so safe and after he got what he wanted he just dropped me. And I'm wondering, when will I get into a normal relationship? It feels like I'm stuck in this loop of mean guys or guys that I constantly sacrifice myself for and I don't get anything back in return or if I do it's more abuse. I feel like I can't trust but when I take the chance to trust I end up trusting the wrong person. I just want to have a relationship where this isn't an issue. I'm probably not making any sense but it feels like I'm caught in this pattern of bad relationships. | ptsd |
For context I don't remember much of my childhood, but sometimes ill hear a song or see something from my childhood and it will cause a flashback of only emotions. No other memory attached, just a flood of emotions that cause me to break down. I can remember some traumatic things from my childhood but they aren't whats causing it. Does anyone else have a similar experience? | ptsd |
Maybe there's already a book list somewhere (maybe there should be one on the sidebar?).
I'm looking at "Neurotribes" by Steve Silberman and "NeuroDiversity: The Birth of an Idea" by Judy Singer, but there are a bunch of other ones.
Has anybody read those two I just mentioned? I think Neurotribes is about people's experiences and NeuroDiversity is about the phenomenon. I'm leaning toward the latter.
I'm open to other recommendations, too. | aspergers |
I’d love someone to talk to. I’m okay most of the time but sometime like out of no where I just feel like I get dropped in a well and start to drown.
I’m a gay guy, I know that doesn’t really matter but last person I chatted to about this ended up being homophobic so yea no homophobes lol.
I’m also 21 and just looking for someone to chat with around my age but older is cool too! | ptsd |
It’s 3:30 AM. I have finished 30 hours of coding courses in last 3 days, to be specific 3 nights. I am currently doing coding course. I am 3 redbulls down. One cigarette pack down. And really hyped up for no reason after watching “The social network”.
If you’re from the computer industry on the coding side, what do y’all think about learning to code at 21, by yourself?
Idk I just wanna talk. | ADHD |
Just a couple days ago I was happy, loud, out there, living my best college life. Now I am laying in bed all day with no motivation, no goal, nothing. Everything feels the same. I don't care anymore. I don't feel any anxiety or sadness. I just want to stay in bed with myself,doing nothing, feeling nothing. | depression |
Hi, I've never posted in this community before but I really need help. About 2 months or so ago I was sexually assaulted by my best friend.
TW - Sexual Assault
We (me, boyfriend and best friend) were all very drunk and went swimming. When we got out he removed my towel and started touching me inappropriately right in front of my boyfriend. We were both frozen in shock and couldn't do anything. He touched me several more times and said sexual and derogatory things to me throughout the evening while my boyfriend wasn't around, but I and my boyfreind were so drunk we couldn't remove ourselves from the situation.
My boyfriend was furious with him, but he said it was my decision to move forward and he didn't want to influence my choice with what he wanted. We confronted him about it a week later and he said he felt terrible about it... I haven't forgiven him, but I haven't stopped talking to him either, I don't want him to feel as alone as I do right now... maybe that's a naive way to think.
I still can't seem to get over this though. My boyfriend felt like it was all his fault for not doing anything, and I feel like it's my fault for the same reason...
I can't stop imagining what he said and the feeling of him touching... I'm now feeling so depressed and unmotivated to do anything, the things I used to love doing are so hard to do now, and I feel so disconnected from all my relationships because of this. Including my relationship with my boyfriend, who's been nothing but supportive.
I know this isn't necessarily PTSD, but I don't know what to do. I feel like a bad and selfish person for feeling this disconnected with the man who's been supporting me through all of this. I'm really at rock bottom right now, and any help would be lovely. | ptsd |
I suspect have ADHD and am thinking about seeing a psychiatrist for an eval. I have been previously diagnosed with depression. I've tried therapy, but I'm pretty... negatively nihilistic (not pessimistic), so it never really works for me when you add in the exhaustion and anhedonia (not a lot of anxiety, just a lot of blaaaaahhhhh and white noise).
I'm very hesitant about stimulants. I don't like the idea of being tied to a restricted medication for the rest of my life plus I already have a lot of stomach issues and struggle to maintain weight.
So.... what happens after a diagnosis? Do you feel medication was worth it? How did it affect you? Were you recommended any particular type of therapy? | ADHD |
⚠️⚠️⚠️Possible trigger as weight is mentioned⚠️⚠️⚠️
I started my adderall back in September. When I started I was 120 pounds and now I’m 103pounds. I have been trying to eat more but I have no appetite until my stomach hurts to much to eat. My meds have already been adjusted a few times, but if I have it lowered I won’t be able to focus or function enough to do my school work. I don’t know what I should do about this and would really appreciate any advice you have especially if you’ve also had the same problem.
Eating breakfast makes me sick so I don’t, as puking not only lowers appetite more but also gets rid of the original nutrients and is awful for your teeth so it’s not worth it.
I’m currently on 30xr, but my old meds were 3- 10mg (normal Adderall)and 2-10mg (normal Adderall) so I’ve only been on xr for a month.
My psych. Said my dose is right and not too high because this happened to the same extent on every dose we’ve tried (including when I would forget to take the 2 or 3 pill before the XR) and I have had appetite issues since I was a baby.
I also have autism so I already have issues with eating, and I have noticed my asd symptoms have gotten more extreme since starting. My autism also causes me to not have proper hunger ques in general. | ADHD |
My son is a month old and for the most part things are great, but in the evening during the witching hour when he cries for no reason on and off for hours I get so angry, then bitter, then numb. Suddenly I feel defeated in everything I do and like there's no hope for this to ever get better. He just drains all the emotion and energy out of me and my wife is left to pick up the pieces while I mope.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this and if so, how the heck do you deal with this? I try to remember that he's a victim in this too and not intentionally doing any of this, but it's hard when you feel like nothing you do works and all your effort is useless. | ADHD |
Hey all
Hopefully this is the right sub to post to. Guilt is my trigger from childhood and it’s causing an issue as a parent and wife.
I frequently give into my kids out of guilt but then it backfires. Examples below
1. I want snacks so I give my kids snacks too bc I feel guilty about them not also having snacks. Side affect? They eat like poop
2. I let my kids bring stuffed dolls into the car today (normally no toys in the car) and they freaked out at daycare when I said they couldn’t bring them w. I let them have the dolls bc when I said no at home they looked so sad, so I gave in.
I have more examples but am curious if anyone has successfully or is currently being successful in breaking that guilt-instant gratification cycle? | ptsd |
Even though ocd may seem to force you to do things but your the boss not the thoughts, ocd is your brains defence mechanism in response to your awarneses thoughts, reparing this mechanism requiress realinment of how you process these ideas i have four tips i hope they help:
First In refrence to the ocd actions what others do is right not what your doing so do what they do
Second if you cant see other than what did you use to do before was right
Third if you have a doubt than its not right
Fourth if you know its intrusive thoughts than stop
Realining thoughts is done by not processing them as in not thinking as in just nothingness at first it may seem like its not working but the ocd wasnt built in a day and it wont go away in one so take your time and keep fighting the good fight
Thats my take on ocd i hope i cab hear what you think | OCD |
I want to be good at therapy but Ive spent years pretending to be okay and just trying to get on with things and now when I have the opportunity to open up and ask for help I don’t know how to do it. My therapist is nice but she probably thinks I’m wasting her time. I’ve spent so long with this mask on that I don’t know how to be without it now.
I want to explain all the dark shit in my head but I know how crazy it will sound if I start saying it out loud. | ptsd |
Hi all,
I recently became diagnosed with ADHD and although my psych was the one to suggest getting test, one of the biggest reasons I pushed through the process of getting diagnosed was due to how much I struggled to study.
High school was manageable because I could usually get an assignment done the night before and still get an average grade, but uni was a different story altogether.
I somehow managed to complete my bachelors degree a couple months ago but boy was it a process. Every assignment was handed in on extensions (incredibly understanding tutors). The entire thing was incredibly stressful for me, It took up my entire mental capacity and my friends and housemates noticed an extreme difference in my mood when studying.
The stress would cause me to binge eat (recovering ED) and I felt like I couldn't take on any work or social commitments even though 90% of the time I was just sitting there thinking about studying and not actually studying, but the sitting and thinking about studying was debilitating and all consuming.
While I received distinctions to very high distinctions in the classes I enjoyed I found that I seemed to have to put in so much more time and mental effort than my peers. I honestly just thought I mustn't be very smart but I understood the content, I understood what the sources were arguing and I understood what I was trying to argue, but I could not for the life of me organise that information in a coherent manner.
I seemed to get stuck in the research part of the assignment, spending hours up to literal days even trying to dwindle down my academic sources to a normal, respectable amount. At that point I hadn't even started the note-taking yet.
Then would come starting the essay which I found almost impossible and then attempting to organise my disjointed thoughts/argument in a coherent manner. In my mind I knew what I needed to write/argue, but I just couldn't seem to verbalise it or get it down on paper. I just seemed to struggle so much with this.
Also Jumping between academic sources, the multitude of tabs I had open and the essay itself its like - I don't really know how to explain this - I couldn't see properly or clearly or the jumping between different screens made it impossible for me to keep my focus? I don't know...
On top of that, despite literally majoring in professional writing at Uni my feedback on assignments would almost always be that my work was filled with grammatical errors, conflicting use of tenses, disjointed sentences or mistakes that should have been corrected through proof-reading. Basically my writing is never clear, nor concise even though I literally know all the rules!
**Anyway I guess I'm asking, did any of you have the same experience studying unmedicated?**
**And Also if you did, did you also go on to study medicated? Was there any noticible changes? did your ability to focus and organise information etc it improve at all?**
I'm going into my masters in a few months, now medicated, and I'm looking for some hope, lol. | ADHD |
I am 15(F) and I think I have been suffering with Pocd for about 4 months now I have asked a therapist to put me on a waiting list but that was like a month ago and I still haven’t heard anything from her,I want to share this to see if anyone has anything similar to this and also if anyone is going through this aswell to help them and also get advice on what to do and what this is/if it is normal.
I remember when the thoughts first started it was a really weird thought about doing something to a child while I was scrolling through tik tok and I remember thinking don’t think about that and it went away in the matter of a minute,later that day the thought came back and then I thought “am I a pedo” I really started to panic and felt just really anxious about it all and phoned my friend cause I had never had anything like this happen or thought of anything like that,at first I lied about what the thought was cause I was scared she would think I was a pedo(but I eventually told her a month or so later),then after that everything got worse I was really depressed,ashamed and disgusted in myself I also felt very panicked all the time and I always used to think what would other people think right now if they knew what I was thinking about and I would just be tormented with thoughts about children all the time including my little brothers and nearly every child I saw and at one point I just wanted to kill myself and the suicidal thoughts started along with the many other thoughts,when I found out what Pocd was I didn’t want to tell my friends about it incase she was like wtf so i just said that I found something that would help with these thoughts,basically for the first couple of months I was depressed sad and suicidal and everything just felt horrible I then at one point was okay and started to just tell myself that whenever I was upset it wasn’t about the pedo thing cause I’m not a pedo but I feel like that made it worse cause when it got bad again th second time I felt worse I basically would just cry and be terrified incase I was or was going to turn in to a pedophile I started to sh again once it got bad,I would also question everything I done when I was near a child,but one thing that I think kind of helped was being around my little cousin I hadn’t really met her before and when I did it was when the thoughts had been there for about a month or so and I really didn’t like it the first time she came over but at the end of the night I felt as though I wasn’t a pedo like I was thinking if I was a pedo I would’ve touched her or done something and all’s that stuff.
I then remember I thought one night when I was feeling good and like positive that I wasn’t a pedo
I just thought since I hadn’t master baited in a long time due to the thoughts why don’t I just give it a go cause I was going to start again one day and I would need to get myself more confident of doing it(btw at this point the feeling of being a pedo was a very on and off thing)so I remember watching porn and it was basically just normal and I kept telling myself all the way through it don’t think of this don’t think of that and don’t think of my little cousin and when I finished I thought of the guy I used to date which I was happy about but because I finished so quick and had no intrusive images in my head I was confident enough to do it again but this time when I finished I just kept having the thought don’t think of my (little cousins name ) there were no images or anything like that in my head but I remember thinking did I just masterbsit to my three year old cousin I then ended up in tears and phoning my friend she said it was okay and calmed me down by saying that I didn’t think of anything bad and just trying to help me out basically,I haven’t masterbaited since then but I have wanted to but I am afraid that might happen again,anyway the thoughts went on and everything was just bad and one of the thoughts that made me panic the most was the thought of “imagine all the things I would do” when I seen a child and it wouldn’t be the first thing to pop up when I seen one and it usually didn’t pop up a lot but I felt horrible about it and I’m scared incase it does make me one and all of the thoughts like what if I like these thoughts what if I want to be a pedophile what if I am getting aroused by these thoughts would sometimes just swarm me to the point where I didn’t know what to do,but I kinda got over that and now basically I don’t know what to do about this I’m still afraid of getting aroused by the thoughts and stuff but I don’t know what to feel,basically I have been going through this thing where it’s like I feel normal or not right but it’s also like I don’t know what to feel anymore like I like this guy and I loved this other guy(one is older than me and the other one is the same age) and it took me a while to acc get to a point where I had to be over the guy I loved and move on but now I don’t know why but I don’t feel as attracted to them as I used to and I’m scared/confused incase it’s because I find children attractive or that I want to be aroused by the thoughts or anything like that but idk if it’s cause of ocd or something but it’s making me confused and idk what to feel or do anymore like I have these thoughts daily and I don’t know if it’s cause I have been dealing with them for so long but I think do I like these thoughts and things like that or if a thought lasts for too long I still don’t know what to feel like I don’t want to feel happy about the thoughts or like them but no matter what I say to myself I just feel unsure and kinda like normal or just nothing and I don’t want this to be that I am turning into a pedophile cause I go through these stages where it’s like oh I know I like this guy but so I don’t like kids and I feel good for like 10 seconds and then I go back to this kinda meh feeling and idk if this is me being upset I’m not a pedo or something stupid like that because I don’t want to be a pedo and I keep think what if I’m lying to myself and everything I’m saying to myself is a lie or what if the only reason I’m looking for reassurance is because I don’t want to face the truth,I just need help or someone to kinda give me advice | OCD |
I am not ok. I wanna be taken care of but i’m an adult now and I have to take care of myself, but I don’t know how. Living is difficult. I can barely get out of bed let alone hold a job and support myself. I’m lucky I still live at home where I don’t have to worry about rent or bills. I’m worried though I won’t ever be able to really be independent. Am I too ill? Why does my brain hate me so much? Can’t I just be happy? The simplest of things are difficult for me. I am dissociated all the time. Time doesn’t exist to me because I don’t feel real. I try to be normal; go to school, work, socialize. It’s all so hard though. I see other people and it looks easy for them, like just an average day. For me, however, it’s exhausting. All that I was passionate about is gone. I can’t be present, I’m not grounded. I feel like i’m outside myself, restless for something that I’m not sure of. | depression |
I realized that I prefer people to talk about things to me straight to the point and not me having to solve a riddle to what they want to say. I always don't realize what people say because it's either I think people are not telling me things or that people are telling me things but I am not able to understand it since they say it as if I have to solve some equation or problem.
I can't tell if someone just got into a relationship with somebody, or that someone apparently came out, or that someone had a crush on me. I am always struggling about this and always feel like I am solving a mystery case instead of people telling me straight up. And then I spiral into this thought where I am like oh no they didn't tell me because I don't think I can keep up with the stuff my friends have been saying. | aspergers |
I’ve constantly been thinking about what a relationship would be like with one of my friends (I’m male and she’s female).
It’s to the point where I imagine full blown dialogue of what our conversations would be like in the event she likes me back. I’ve imagined just about every scenario about this faux relationship. It’s the most optimistic thinking my mind has come up with in a long time.
The only problem is I haven’t come close to telling this to her in real life. I worked with her for 5 months. We’ve since hung out with the two of us on a couple different occasions. But I think we could just be friends because I’m 23 and she’s 31.
I think about her all the time, but it makes me sad that she probably doesn’t think about me.
*This may not have a lot to do with being on the spectrum, but I I believe rumination is a common trait*
———-
UPDATE: I told her tonight Friday 4/16. She doesn’t like me back. I really do hate myself. | aspergers |
I've used D2L for my master's program and every time I go on D2L, I'm always getting an anxiety attack. I don't even normally get anxiety in general but this one...geez.
Now that I finally graduated from the Master's program, my girlfriend suddenly told me, "I signed up to take master courses, can you help me with D2L?"
\*Insert barely concealed anxiety reaction at the news\*
Has any of you ever felt the same about D2L? | aspergers |
Like when there’s a stressful situation at work for example or a social setting you’re just kind of like ‘meh’ the whole time. Or things that should make you happier or angry like everyone else doesn’t give you the same reaction? I also don’t get emotional during movies or tv shows like most people. I seem to have low empathy so maybe this has something to do with it? But I do have emotional moments so I’m not always numb to emotion and I do care for family/ friends. Otherwise I’d probably be a psychopath. | aspergers |
I’m Asian and in my culture family in everything my family is everything to me they all I’ve ever known my mom is my best friend but I can’t take it anymore if I stay in this household like most Asian kids do even when they’re old I’m gonna end up killing myself I hate it here but at the same time I love my mom so fking much she was my only friend when the whole world was against me my brothers are shit my dad even worse I use to think that my was alway right my family was alway right but as I grow older I started to realize how manipulative every single one of them are my mom she kind she loving she not the best mother in the world but she tries but even though I’ll alway be there for her no matter what my dad does to her even if everyone against her her sons included i alway stand by her side but as I grew and mature over the last year I started realizing that she would never do the same she would never stand up for me despite her seeing the emotional pain I’m in cause my my own brothers and dad. She the only reason that makes me hesitate to leave this household when I grow up I don’t want to leave her in this household but I know if I don’t leave I’m gonna end up killing myself or living life full of regret and I don’t want that I have so many goals and dream but right now I feel stuck I don’t know if I’ll ever have the courage to leave when the time comes but I know if I don’t leave I’m gonna end up resenting and hating my family more then I already am I know I won’t be happy if I don’t put myself first for once but I owe my mon my parent my family so much I promise my mom when I was little that I would take her to travel the world that I would buy us a big house and a nice a car but I don’t think I’m able to keep my promise. Idk how to leave my family I know it’ll be painful and I live with the gilt forever but I know that the only option n that gonna make me happy and see the world in a different but they won’’y let my leave that easily they are gonna try everything in there power to keep me here even if it mean destroying there own daughter. I live in a emotionally abusive household but I can’t leave either.I think I’m gonna kill myself i can’t take it anymore. I’m sorry mom dad for being an ungrateful child for never being good enough For not being like other Asian daughter i’m sorry for not being able to repay u for raising me i’m sorry To my elder brother for being such a shitty sister. I’m sorry I can’t take anymore. I’m sorry. | depression |
I never really grew out of the phase where you would stop being scared of things that weren't scary anymore. I am always checking my back at night or when I'm home alone, even if its broad daylight. I always leave all the lights in my house on, and I find it hard to get up to go to the toilet at night due to the darkness in general.
If I see a creepy image, or a face that is supposed to be scary, it will be stuck in my head for a couple of days, and I'll see it in the dark. Simply thinking to myself "it isn't real" never works. What's even funnier is creepy stuff is actually an interest of mine, and I want to do creepy edits of random photo's that I take.
Doesn't help that I am an incredibly anxious person, and I am always thinking of something, no exceptions. | aspergers |
Mental Awareness Month! I'm posting this because as normal as I appear to some lol I deal with Depression PTSD and Anxiety for years until I got to a breaking point without addressing it medically,I'm not ashamed of it because no one have a perfect mindset, Life and different things I been thru got me to this point, folks don't have a clue how hard it is to function daily to keep your mind sharp or try not to snap dealing with folks or life lol, or to getting up to push yourself to do things when you in a slump, I deal with that, that's why I try to stay positive with folks when they going thru a storm Because you never know what you can say to trigger a person over the edge,my closes folks I deal with know this about me. But I'm also working on a better me day by day! So it's good to be encouraged and to encourage others and reach out to folks from time to time to see if they ok! Spread the Love you folks , I know I'm not the only one that suffer from this some are silent because folks judge or don't help, let's fix that! 🙏🏾🙏🏾💯💪🏾💙💕♊ | depression |
This might be annoying to some, but origami isn’t at all easy. Like I follow the instructions and some how, I end up with jumbled mess. Sure, I surprise myself with with the final product from watching a tutorial. But I instantly forget how gotten to that point. And people, I’ll let you know I have been looking up for a week or so how to get the origami of ninja star back to how it was. Smh, anyways does that happen to you guys? | aspergers |
It's just... I don't know how to put it in words. I've always thought something was wrong with me, I just didn't know what. Recently however, I've consulted my therapist and she said I might have ADHD and that my dad also may have ADHD. Ever since she told me that I have started noticing many symptoms and a bit of research has brought me here. I just worry a lot about how im worthless and have no particular skills and how I'm a lazy imature kid who won't achieve anything with his life. I also find it really frustrating how my friends sometimes get annoyed at me and I'm able to notice it through their expresions. Teachers also sometimes find me annoying for disturbing the class and talking too much. The last thing I hate is how I always get assignments late and I struggle to do things that involve any sort of effort all I do all day is play on my computer. I really had to tell people about this, I don't know if anyone is going to read this I just hope there is a way to either fix this or just learn to accept this and be able to live like this.
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TL;DR: I suffer the symptoms of ADHD in school and hate myself because of it.
A few things to clear out:
I haven't gotten my diagnosis yet however, my therapist says I am very likely to have ADHD
I found this sub while researching and made an account for this post.
Sorry any grammar mistakes english is my second language and I'm not sure if I wrote this correctly. | ADHD |
I've been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD and I sit just about all of the classic symptoms, mostly internalized.
The one thing it seems to be on the fence for me though is memory? I see a lot of people who can't remember stories they're told or movies they've watched, but I'm not like that at all. I remember that someone's told me a story, and I remember how many times they've told me that story since the first time they've told me that story. I remember entire scenes or sometimes whole movies worth of dialogue and can recited with weird accuracy as I see the movie more.
When I remember my past it's like it's happening now, like a movie playing in my head that I'm watching and experiencing in real time.
But then when I look back at my childhood, I only remember these movies that I watched or these emotional conversations that I had. I don't remember any of the things I did and between them, I just vaguely remember playing with toys until memories became dominated by middle school bullies and high school social anxiety.
It's like I don't remember everything, but the things I remember I remember perfectly. | ADHD |
Does anyone else have times when they are hungry, know they should eat, actually want to eat, but their brain says "food is not appetizing"? This is a problem for me, bcuz if food isn't appetizing, I can't eat.
Does anyone else have a solution that helps with this? Besides eating the same thing for a week straight bcuz it's all you can force down your throat?
I'm really tired of not getting enough to eat for weeks on end.... | aspergers |
I am a 21 year old male with ocd, I go to a therapist once a week who helps me by using ACT techniques with exposures. Long story short is I have been a porn addict for nearly 3/4 years with and an anime fan. I have been in isolation for nearly a year and a half due to COVID. Whilst trying to quit my addiction I relapsed to hentai, (with obvious age ambiguity. Which led to POCD, this came with obvious traits I.e. checking areas, anxiety, avoidance etc. Over 2 weeks this shifted to a variety of themes I.e. blinking , harm and scitzophrenia. However it’s come back to POCD again and every time I relapse to porn I think it’s making it worse (standard or hentai - never loli) for the past few days I’ve been chronically depressed as the what it has turned to I am. Whilst relapsing to hentai it felt like it took everything in my body to not indulge in Loli(something I had never done before). Now that has evolved into having the constant urge to watch CP (whether this is because of my porn addiction idk) but sometimes I feel good and my brain is like no your a p remember. I am in a lot of mental anguish but at the same time feel absolutely nothing , either intense anxiety or just nothing / arousal. I feel I am fighting an urge I never had before and it is horrifying. When I see children now or have images I am not horrified usually sometimes they turn me on (I think). I am so confused as it feels like this obsession has actually hard wired my brain into having a paraphilia. I think I am better of dead as I feel I couldn’t hold onto a job anyway as it is taking every cell in my body not to do something horrible. I wonder if this is just ocd playing off my addiction or a cognitive distortion I just need help that I don’t think anyone can give me but refuse to go on as I feel I am a ticking time bomb. It’s not fair I never use to feel like towards children and even if I did I never noticed it for 21 years so why couldnt I not notice this for 20 more and die of a disease at fourth when my mum has passed away. I am not even looking for reas… anymore idk I am actually just lost and scared I am turning evil
The urge hits me in the morning the same way anxiety did but there’s no anxiety it feels like I’m fighting with every bone in my body not to do something terrible I don’t understand……. It’s making me exhausted | OCD |
Hi!! I wanted to check in with y'all to see what you think about neurofeedback. My psychiatrist recently brought it up to me to see if it's something I'd want to do. I didn't really know much about it so I started doing a little research. I understand what it is now, but wanted to hear the voices of anyone who's actually tried it or is well versed in the topic. Hope to hear back soon :) | ADHD |
I'm working on doing my physical therapy exercises once everyday, I've got a sticker calendar but I'm still missing quite a few days (got some great halloween stickers right now). Doing the exercises continously seems to be key to their effectiveness. I want to reward a full month and/or week of exercises.
What kind of things do people use as rewards for that extra motivation? I'd like to avoid food based rewards. | ADHD |
Usualy I do not talk to my sons dad, ever, he is a toxic narcissist and my ptsd stems from a previous abusive relationship, but today I HAD to talk to him, it was about our son and it was important. I braced myself and I talked to him, as usual it turned into a heated discussion where he pushed my triggers but I kept my head held high and kept on the topics I had to bring up. I did get a bit emotional(anger) but I felt fine right there and then and the next few hours after it. My son came back home and he has his own reactions to the visitations and today he ignored me for 2.5 hours(also a trigger,childhood trauma,my mom ignored me for weeks, cant deal with rejection). And now its 10 and im about to have an panic attack.
I felt 6 hours after the confrontation that my anxiety was building up, I tried to ground myself and breathe, but the whole thing with my son pushed me over the edge. Now im still trying to ground myself but im so nauseated,my head is about to explode and I feel off. I took my prescribed atarax but it has not helped, im infront of a fan, windows open, chill music is playing but my body is in high fucking alert. I keep replaying the convo with my sons dad in my head, I keep seeing his face whenever im closing my eyes so im trying not to blink.
This got a bit long but im so out of it right now.
Why does I react so many hours after? Why cant I just react on the spot and be done with it. | ptsd |
I have been having emotional flashbacks for the last week. I want to curl up in a ball and cry and scream and growl and bite on something.
For no reason. Nothing is happening to hurt me.
I just need support right now.. | ptsd |
so i have multiple anxiety disorders and i get intrusive thoughts semi-regularly, but i don't have OCD...yet? i get anxious/intrusive thoughts and i get the urge to do, i guess it would be called a compulsion? but i really try not to give in because i know that if i indulge in one too many i'm going to fall face first into full on OCD. they've been getting worse and harder to ignore and i'm kind of terrified that i'm going to develop OCD, and i would really prefer not to. does anyone have any advice on how to deal with intrusive thoughts without giving in to compulsions? because i CANNOT develop another disorder. i'd really appreciate it! | OCD |
One of the major traumas in my life was from a few years ago when three cops beat me in my underwear in my own living room and then tased me when I was on the ground. My heart was beating so fast and erratically the ambulance said I was actually missing beats and were worried but the cops didn’t care. I spent over three weeks in jail for something I didn’t do, feel free to mock me or call me a liar for that too cause a lot of people have already. I’m now stupidly a criminal justice student and with a lot of the courses especially the one I’m on now it triggers memories of everything that’s happened nonstop. I wonder just what the hell is wrong with me, why do I do this to myself. It’s bad enough I can’t go any real time at all without thinking of something that sets me off without being reminded of it. | ptsd |
I died six years ago, a victim of domestic violence. You don't hear our stories because we are called liars, babies, not man enough, stupid, etc. "Who are they going to believe, a 6 foot tall man or a 5 foot tall girl" I was often told when I said one day I would run away and she couldn't find me. She would punch herself in the face and say I did it. She would grab hammers and threaten to bruise herself and say she would tell the cops I did it and she would get a warrant out for my arrest if I tried to leave. I was trapped.
Men can be raped as well. My abuser raped be on several occasions. If I couldn't get it up after hours of abuse I was called every name in the book and told "What kind of f****t can't get up to an attractive woman?". If I refused she would tell me there would be "consequences" and never describe what they were. Sometimes she would say things like "I will wait for you at your mom's and you will see the consequences" which typically made me do whatever she wanted. If I ever finished too quickly she made me sleep on the wooden floor in the corner of the room as punishment for "using her like a piece of meat".
I have been free of her for 3 years but her words and actions still haunt me. A simple nod or a juice container can send me into a panic attack. Those around me look at me like I am some weird weak man. They don't know the stories of men like me because no one cares about our stories.
Johnny Depp may know from his situation he is dealing with. But even in the press he is slandered on the fact he is a man. I know people will not believe my story too. My abuser has spent years creating paper trails and stories for this very moment. She's made me say multiple times that I was the abuser just to calm her down. She's hit me behind closed doors and screamed at me that I was hitting her. She took complete control of my finances. I was not allowed to make a purchase without her approval. I worked full days while she sat and took money from my account into her private account as she watched television. She made me put mint oil on my crotch when I told her I was reading an email but was really playing a game on my phone as "punishment" for not watching her get ready.
She made me get rid of my dog and didn't let me see my family other than maybe once or twice a year. She made me lie and tell them all I was homeless to get money even though I was well off to fund her trips to Louisiana, New York, Spain, etc. Every day my appearance was scrutinized until I acted and looked almost exactly how she wanted. She turned most of my friends against me with lies and half truths.
Everyday I struggle to just get to the next day. I don't sleep. I can't work more than a few hours a day. Constant flashbacks keep me trapped in my head. Depression and anxiety make things like answering the phone near impossible and medication has not helped because the memories don't disappear. Every day I try to be something but deep down I know I am not living up to the expectations I have about myself which causes further stress. | ptsd |
Was just wondering if anyone else was or is experiencing something like this. What do i do? I won’t go into detail about my life and things that i’ve done but my life is just horrible. And the one thing i wanted is gone. What am i supposed to do? I don’t wanna continue at all but suicide just isn’t for me. | depression |
For context, I get really over the top fight or flight anxiety in relationship based situations. Specifically, the triggers are a partners late nights out such as parties, bars etc. This was due to circumstances with a past ex who was a blackout drinker, so each night like that left me worrying where she was and what state she was in.
Overtime the worry and fear also evolved into anger and resentment towards the ex for putting me in a helpless and powerless position. As just my luck goes, with every important partner since her, that set of anxiety related emotions has carried over.
Last night happened to be a triggering night as my partner went to a street party in our city. I was doing well until she called me to let me know she was going to be out later as she decided to go to an after party.
At that point my fight or flight emotions kicked in and downhill I went. I'm in therapy and have a few things I normally do to combat my mind in these situations but last night for some reason it all went out the window. Logically I know that my emotional response is mine and not the result of my current partner's actions or choices however during last night, I was acutely aware of how powerful my resentment of her was. Even as I told myself that it wasn't her causing any of this, it was like my emotions didn't care.
Today I'm struggling with processing that because of how powerful of an emotion it was at the time. I'm also not sure how to re-frame it either. I'm curious if anyone here experiences similar feelings and what they do to work through them? | ptsd |
I've never been diagnosed with anything but for the past seven years I [17M] have been thinking about suicide. I have never attempted if because I know my dad would kill himself too. He has been depressed for as far as I can remember. I don't know what to do, people try to get to me but I push everyone away. Two of my friends have been trying to kill themselves for the past week and one of them was my best friend. Even right now as I'm typing he is high off whatever pills he can find. I have never learnt how to make friends as a kid as I moved to a different city/country every year. I stopped trying to make friends years ago and I'm genuinely scared of what my future holds, I have nothing to live for but my dad and even then if it was out of my control he wouldn't be affected as much. If anyone has any advice it'd be appreciated... I'm lost | depression |
I’ve been with this wonderful guy for about six months now. He’s great and we went slow into this relationship, it’s everything I could want. About six weeks ago I was sexually assaulted at a bar, which triggered my ptsd and now I’ve gone back years in my healing and coping. I’m depressed, I cry all the time, I’m scared all the time. I know I’m not fun to be around. Going into this relationship, it was understood that it needed to be low pressure and fun, he is divorced and I have a lot going on in my personally life. So we needed to lift each other up. Now all I want is his commitment and for him to tell me he’ll be here for me through this pain and while I heal. I want to know he’s in for the long haul..and I know that’s unfair. It’s become a great source of tension, because he said he’ll support me, but will never give me an affirmative of time. My ptsd has ruined relationships before. I don’t know how to just relax and get over this fear of abandonment and just be grateful for the support and happy with our time together without constantly seeking more. I just needed to get this off my chest.
tldr; retraumatized recently, want new boyfriend to commit so I can feel secure while I heal, but he won’t and I’m struggling with that. | ptsd |
Hi! When I was a kid, some psychologists assumed I might have ASD and some that I might have ADD, but I never got a real diagnosis, probably because 25 years ago the diagnostic tools for ASD were quite limited in Poland, still recovering from socialism. I'd say I'm very highly functioning, but I very often struggle with understanding any kind of humor that involves hidden meanings - be it sarcasm or puns. It especially came to my attention after I watched this video: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVBq4Pw2\_fQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVBq4Pw2_fQ)
I read the comments section and people would have a really good laugh at how this video is so packed with puns. I watched it again and I realized I didn't get any puns from this video! This makes me feel really sad because I'm often socially excluded not being able to have a laugh at many things people find funny. I asked my friend to spot the puns in this video for me and when he wrote them, conveying the hidden meaning, they all make sense. E.g. "Meat banquets were an exclusive 'meat-up'". However, if he wrote meet-up instead of meat-up, there's no way I'd ever get it. Is there some research on this subject or is there any way I could learn it, or am I a lost cause? I should add I'm 30 and I'm a non-native speaker, but I've spoken English for almost 20 years now and I know no other person including non-native speakers who would struggle with this as much as I do. | aspergers |
I’ve had other serving jobs and have had no issues
But I’m a host and make a lot of mistakes. The first few days they said I was the fastest learner ever. They verbally told me the rules and than I had to be quizzed on it.
I think I might have trouble applying the rules to the real world and job. If someone comes in and asks to talk to the boss I will always go get the boss right away- but I’m supposed to get the name of the person who came in and I in the past haven’t asked and got in trouble for it. Plus when I seat people there are supposed to be silverware roles on the table before I take them and if there aren’t im supposed to put them there. But I just got in trouble bc I wasn’t doing it. But I had forgotten the rule bc my coworker told me to grab the role as I seat peolle once. My coworkers seem to understand the rules and make sure to do everything perfect when the boss is around but I mix them up and forget them.
I guess I’m bad at problem solving? Or projecting these things into how to solve them irk. Is this an adhd thing bc
once someone called for a pickup and usually when this happens I ask what car stop they are Parked in so I can tell my coworker who walks the food out (so she knows where to go). But this one time someone called and said they Parked across the street bc parking spots were full. I went to tell my coworker and she got upset bc I should have asked what color or style car the girl was in or where she was parked | ADHD |
Reflecting on how not only was I exhibiting signs of trauma (that weren't taken seriously), but child services investigating my parent, my brother and I calling the police, walking home crying at 2 am barefoot in a nightgown as a 5-year-old..and no one was there to protect or intervene. | ptsd |
I’m going through a rough time. Feeling like I’m at rock bottom.
I need to climb out of this hole.
I’m sad and feeling hopeless and I wanna give up.
But I don’t give up and I keep fighting and it feels like I’ve been drowning for years.
Exhausting. This is not life. It’s a prison. | OCD |
To start off I have a tickle kink big whoop everyone does but what worries me is I remember when I was 12 had this fantasy of me bring restrained but having kids tickle me like prob 7 ish and I want to know is that wrong? Or is my OCD making it out as wrong? | OCD |
I have never been to a therapist before and have never taken any medications. I have been slowly becoming more anxious and paralyzed by stress over the past 2 years because I hate myself for the academic mistakes I have made throughout college. It has set me back significantly and will cost me thousands of dollars in extra loans. Recently, there have been some nights where I just think how it would be nice to put a gun to my head and end it just so I could escape this constant stress and anxiety. But its not exactly like I want to kill myself, because I don’t. I love my life and am extremely satisfied with it in all regards except for school. And I would never even attempt because I know that the burden of me being gone would weigh intensely on my family and I know that this college situation is temporary. Are these feelings really abnormal? Its just been difficult because theres no way for me to alleviate this stress and anxiety because its caused by my past mistakes and setbacks. | depression |
I can’t be the only one with Aspergers that speak their mind out loud? I never let people trample over me, and I sure as hell don’t take shit from anyone. I have tried googling about this, because all I ever see is “people with Aspergers tend to let people crap on them”, but I genuinely don’t relate to this at all. If someone tries to bad talk me or my friends, I will most certainly tell them to kindly fuck off.
This may also be because I’m a tall woman with scary features..but I’ve always been like this since I was a kid. I have never let anyone be mean to me, I’ve always argued back or given them snarky remarks.
And yes, I have Aspergers. (And ADD) | aspergers |
I just need my kid to brush their teeth and hair, put on clothes and just leave the house on time.
Every freaking time it's so hard. I can barely do it myself, it's super stressful. Now I need to make other distracted, unhelpful and careless human being to do it all daily.
I'm loosing my shit and need a lot of time after to just breathe.
ADHD parents, how do you cope?
Update: child in question is 7yo | ADHD |
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