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Things I've noticed is that people diagnosed as adults tend to
1. know more about ADHD and what ADHD is to them
2. have more negative stories from childhood ADHD
3. be more interested in/passionate about ADHD
What do you guys think? Have you noticed this too? Any other things you've notices? I'm thinking of conducting a survey to find this out (with the mods' permission) | ADHD |
So I’m dealing with POCD and it’s gotten a tiny bit better but here’s what freaks me out. I never even questioned being straight before but ever since this POCD fear came into my mind i keep getting intrusive thoughts. And a part of me feels like I’m “attracted” to the thought despite it causing anxiety, making me twitch from fear, and getting hot flashes from them. So why the heck do I feel attracted? Do I like the thoughts or not? It scares me. If I can get over the “why?” Part of this it won’t scare me, but that’s the only thing keeping me worried | OCD |
**EDIT::: trains is supposed to say traits**
Hello all, I will be getting an official diagnosis done soon as I suspect that I have had ADHD all my life and it has been misdiagnosed as anxiety. I am 31 and female, and after reading through tons of other typical ADHD symptoms in adult women, I can't say enough that I relate to all of it.
That being said, I am always very curious about what other common physical or mental traits others have that are common to find in ADHD. And if not, I am just curious if others share these traits:
• **I have hypermobile limbs** (mostly my elbows) and I have seen some studies linking this together, here is an example: [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29446032/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29446032/)
• **I get ASMR** (like the actual, physical response) and have since childhood. I have been on the ASRM bandwagon for over 10 years and am surprised it has exploded this much on Youtube in the past few years. I get that it calms most people down, but for me I get the physical response and mostly from visual stimuli. (Like seeing someone play with hair, people looking at things in a museum, etc.)
• I have been told by a musician friend that **I may have perfect pitch**. I never knew this my whole life. So since I am not a trained musician (I do love to sing though) I cannot tell you what notes I am hearing exactly, but I have pretty much close to perfect pitch recall even from songs I have heard 20+ years ago. He tested me and I pretty much got 100% of songs correctly in the right pitch and I do not need to hear any reference notes. He said most musicians cannot do this. I was shocked!
• **I am a super light sleeper.** Also have a super hard time sleeping and falling asleep. I am a a very light sleeper and will wake at the sound of a pin dropping. I rarely get a good night's sleep because of waking up constantly.
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On top of these more specific things, I do tend to get pretty bad anxiety and impulsive thoughts. My brother has been diagnosed with OCD so I am also curious about that as well.
How about all of you? | ADHD |
Is this still OCD? Its like, wish I didn’t think this way, but the thoughts don’t seem intrusive - in fact, I can’t really separate my worried thoughts too much from my non-worried thoughts, they kind of mesh together under this overarching worry theme. It’s like a cloud rolls in and takes over my mind. I worry that I’ve been misdiagnosed and I actually have GAD, but I think realistically I have both OCD and GAD. People with GAD don’t worry about the same thing for years like I do (memory loss/brain damage). | OCD |
I'm almost certain that I have OCD, and I'm planning on getting a diagnosis soon. One thing I'm worrying about though is how expensive treatment/meds are and if there even are any. Can anyone shed some light on this? Thanks | OCD |
I’m a 22F and I was diagnosed with ptsd about a year ago. My ptsd stems from the murder of my brother and sister when I was 10, and the abuse from my father. This trigger was relating to my brother and sisters death. They were murdered by a fellow soldier who they thought was their friend, after the had spent a night out at local bars. Their friend shot and killed them both in their home and kidnapped their baby. Last night my boyfriend, me, my best friend, and this guy she’s been seeing were drinking and came back to our place to hangout. At some point in the conversation they were talking about guns and my friends “boyfriend” lifted his sweater to reveal that he was carrying a hand gun. My body went cold and my mind shut down. I stumbled backwards in shock and ran. I sat in my room trembling and I never felt that much terror before, even though I am scared on a daily basis. It shocked me to my core. The situation felt so close to what I imagine my brother and sister went through. I guess I just needed to talk about it. I’m still trying to recover and the terror is still lurking. Feel free to comment with advice or relatable stories. | ptsd |
Soooo, I'm turning 25 on Thanksgiving, and feeling it coming is throwing me into a pit.
I feel miserable anymore, and I was a teenager that thought some really dark stuff.
Social media escalates the inescapable politics x10. I see all the friends (?) that I used to be so close to years ago that I don't even talk to anymore, and it makes me wonder if I'm a piece of crap, or it just makes me angry because every time I've tried to reach out, it doesn't go beyond "I'm good, you?". I feel so different from everyone around me. I live in the middle of nowhere so I can't "get a hobby and meet new people". My SO and I have been together for a few years and I'm starting to question our future every so often, but we're working through it. His friends are also changing into completely new people, and it just makes me feel even more crazy.
My family wants to hold thanksgiving/my birthday for me, and I have a rocky relationship with them since forever that I'm trying to get past as an adult, and try to put things in the past. My SO usually picks his family over mine, which is fine, but I'm starting to hate being around them because they're super political and I just can't stand it anymore. Originally he was going to spend Thanksgiving with his family and I was going to go to mine, and he wasn't willing to compromise because all of my family besides my parents live a little further which kinda agitated me because he sees his family every weekend while I never see mine. (Before my parents asked if I wanted to come to the house and my boyfriend changed his mind to hitting both houses, which I'm not doing anyway). I'm really hoping that seeing my family goes smoothly, but I really just want to cry. I feel completely isolated. I just want to uproot myself and move, but I'm not sure that would even make me feel better. I've felt like this a majority of my life, but now it's worse than ever. | depression |
So for starters i’ll try an make this as organized and the less mindfucked the better but we’ll see. To start i’m 19 turned 19 yesterday. I’m having a bit of a problem, something that interferes with almost every minute of my life. I am hyper aware of my actions when’s around people because I want to stay friends with them but it ends up making me quiet or awkward, well i’ve been this way since 6th grade but the only difference then is i didn’t let the thinning get in the way of saying somethings, i made A LOT of friends in middle school and beginning of highschool, they were reliable friends though, it was more of just a lot of people i knew, well because of that i never made any really close friends, i’ve had best friends but we never end up getting along and it gets messed up, i’ve been through countless friend groups and it makes me sad thinking about the time i’ve wasted with people.
Well yesterday (my birthday) rolled around i texted some old buddies from a. while ago to see what they’re doing, i didn’t even get a happy birthday from any of them, instead they said they’d tell me if there was anything going on on a friday night like last night, well i fell asleep at 8:30 pm on friday on my birthday, my 19th, i’m beyond disappointed in myself and just want to fall off of the earth. I woke up this morning to things all over my “friends” snapchat stories, is there something i’m missing? Why am i hardly liked i just want friends and to be happy and make others happy, yet i can’t have any fun and at this point don’t remember how to. | depression |
I don't even know where to start. I feel trapped. Even if I feel okay, the thought of checking my blood pressure just sneaks into my brain and suddenly I feel a huge anxiety. Then I'm grabbing my BP cuffs, and of course: 150-160 and maybe even 170-110. This is the moment when I start sweating and proceed to thinking of whatever mantras and focus on it to get lower. After 6-7 measurements, it does get to 13, even 12...
I wish I could go back in time when I had no idea what blood pressure means, I swear I am crying and I can see no escape from this. I don't even know, which one is my real blood pressure?
I suffer from GAD and MDD, though I always mentioned my intrusive thoughts and ...compulsions..I never got an OCD diagnosis. I have to live with my cardiophobia.
I just...I would be the happiest person to just throw my cuffs and never do those readings again. I was happy this morning when I finally slept for the entire night then guess what?! Yes, I felt the urge to check it and it was almost 170. I felt I would pee myself from the horror of this thought. It went to 130-120 after 2 more measurements.
Please any advice...any..anything...would help me... just help me.. | OCD |
So last year, There was this old teacher that tough social studies right? Maybe 40-50.
One day, he was close to me. Maybe like 2-3 ft away. I was slightly anxious. And for some reason after that period, I had a full on ptsd attack.
I have ptsd over sex and being manipulated. Why would that cause a ptsd attack? | ptsd |
i didn’t hear from him all day yesterday until last night when he told me that he had basically been paralyzed by ptsd attacks all day and could not answer my messages. he said he was really stressed out, so he went on a quick sprint to get his energy out, and last he texted he was going to sit in the shower for a bit.
knowing him he probably passed out in there and is still sleeping, or he is at work and not able to answer his phone even though i have called a few times and asked if he is okay.
i guess my question is, should i keep calling and texting? i don’t know what this condition is like but i don’t want to make things harder for him. he always says that it’s okay when i worry and that he doesn’t think it’s annoying when i call and check up on him, most times he thanks me for checking up and caring about him. but i just keep sitting here worrying and i figure if he’s not on his phone calling him won’t do a lot of good….any advice? either for worrying or how to talk to him when he is feeling like this? | ptsd |
i’ve been trying to combat my thoughts by just continuing with my task anyways but i feel so fucking awful for doing that. the thoughts i have are so so so disgusting. but i try to ignore them. it’s just too hard at this point. being alive with this fucking mental illness sucks. | OCD |
Anyone else plagued every second of every day by the most horrible contamination and thoughts for years on end? This isn't living, it's torture ... | OCD |
I always take a lot of screenshots, so i can trace back my activity.
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Right now, i have more than 16,5 thousand screenshots on my phone. While on desktop PC, i find myself constantly mashing the screenshot button.
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I hate it, because i know that in most cases, i am never going to look at those screenshots again. I can't stop it, though. | OCD |
so i still get scared with some thoughts, i still haven’t gotten my life back and i definitely don’t feel recovered but i’m not anxious and i can smile and laugh, i can get distracted but i still get some thoughts, what does this mean?? i don’t feel recovered even though i’m doing bits of work but i don’t feel extremely anxious or depressed since this weekend | OCD |
Hey guys,
Could you maybe write down few sentences about your job and how you deal with it with ADHD?
I'm kind of struggling right now. It is difficult to choose a carrier because it feels that I'm not capable to do any kind of job because of constant forgetting or losing things and stuff that is connected with ADHD. | ADHD |
I haven't been formally diagnosed with ASD/Aspergers, but I didn't understand sarcasm until college; I literally thought like 95% of the people I met were either straight-up assholes and/or stupid because sarcasm didn't make sense to me. Now I kind of get it and can even join in, but I still think it's stupid.
Even in my late 20s now I'm still learning new things about how people communicate on a normal basis. Anyone else experience this? | aspergers |
pretty self explanatory.. ive been having this obsession but when I don’t have the intrusive thoughts I don’t have interest in them. but,, still would like some insight to my question. thank you! | OCD |
I mean c0vid obviously. The c0vid passport and everything that's happening in Australia. I'm so afraid that the same thing will happen in my country. Feels so ridiculous to try and keep going... I was depressed way before, but it's been the worst these days. I'm in college but so unmotivated and skip classes a lot. Blaahh I just want to disappear. I hate this world. | depression |
Im at a point where I dont answer texts or phone calls at all anymore. It feels so pointless if I know the second a conversation goes bland I will forget about it and not text back anymore. Also if there is any amount of stress involved in the conversation/relationship.
Im only really motivated to talk if I find a meme that reminds me of someone, if its a girl I like or if its over discord where its more just a hangout than a planned conversation.
I have many good friends from the past and they still havent given up on me. But maintaining friendships that are "out of sight" seems impossible to me. Even if I really like them and they dont give me these feelings of social anxiety (which I usually have) | ADHD |
My Fiancé has her friend from out of town visiting us for a couple of days.
I'm feeling rejected and sensitive because I'm only being included in their plans when I ask if I'm invited to the things they're doing together.
For context, we live in a small town and I'm lonely. Any social interaction helps me to feel a bit better and I know it's something I need to feel mentally ok.
I recognize that it's not their responsibility to help me manage my emotional well being but I can't help but feel sensitive towards this perceived rejection.
I keep asking myself what's wrong with me that makes them not want me around.
It hurts.
I think I'm just not very likeable even though I try my best. What's worse is hearing from my significant other things like, "You're being overly sensitive" or "You're over-reacting--you are always invited."
But I know that's not true because she walked into our bedroom and I overheard them saying they'll need their bathing suits and I asked her why and she said, "Oh, we're going swimming later!"
How was it implied that I was invited?
Meanwhile I'm stuck taking her cat to the vet and spending another day alone.
It's also so frustrating because I feel like I'm invisible when I'm around them.
I hate rejection sensitivity but more than that, I hate not knowing whether I AM being unreasonable. I am being made to feel like I can't even trust my emotional responses and it suggests that I don't have accurate social perceptions. That really bums me out.
This is how the shame spirals start. This is how I end up wanting to die.
This sucks. | ADHD |
I’ve had adhd since I was 4. I’ve been on and off with my meds recently but I’ve been trying to be consistent again. I feel like I don’t have any motivation to do anything and I feel like I’m just going to become a loser. I’m 18 and fresh into college and already want to drop out. I spend days and days in bed, playing video games or just being majorly unproductive, even if I do take my medication I feel like none of it is helping. I wanted to join the military to maybe get some sort of discipline / self motivation but I can’t even do that as you can’t enroll if you’re taking medication for adhd. I have a girlfriend, nice car and friends but I still find myself unhappy. I’ve never really had a father figure or someone to really point me in the right direction and right now I just feel like I’m lost. Therapy doesn’t really help either. What do you guys suppose I do? | ADHD |
Or someone to crack the whip, so to speak. I've only been medicated for a few months, and have been seeing my therapist, but I'm still frustrated at my mucked-up moments. I'm really starting to think that it would be beneficial in more than one way for me to have a partner who knows what they're doing. They could remind me of tasks that I need to do and help prioritize them, clearly and explicitly explain multi-stepped concepts and problems, or even simply motivate me to get off my ass.
Of course, I'll be pulling my own weight in a relationship, too. I don't want to lean on them like a crutch. But still, I can't help but feel like I'm the one in the wrong here for wishing a partner like that. People have been telling me I need to be my best self in a relationship, or at least try to become a better person. Yet how do they expect people like us to be like that without someone to bring out our potential? Just my two cents. | ADHD |
I'm having a lot of trouble getting in touch with a therapist to have myself diagnosed. I told my mom about how I think I possibly might have OCD and she told me "You don't have OCD. People with OCD are really obsessed with cleaning themselves to the point where they make themselves sick-" I cut her off and said "That's not all there is to OCD" and she said "ok you don't let me finish so I'm done" and walked off and now she's mad at me. How can I explain to my mom that OCD isn't only about being clean? | OCD |
Hi all, first time posting here so sorry if I don’t use the correct wording or anything like that
So my partner of 7+ years has recently been really battling her OCD that has hit full force for the first time since we’ve been together, brought on by the pandemic we think as her compulsion is thinking things/everything is unclean in some way which is really hard to help with as we’re both working from home now and before starting her new job a few months ago she had the work office she’d commute to which was the ‘unclean place’ and home being the ‘clean place’ but obviously now they’re one in the same so her intrusive thoughts must be focusing everything on this one environment of our house.
So with that little bit of context I was wondering if there were any gift ideas or even just things that may help her feel more at ease in anyway that I could get for her?
Like I said this is really my first experience with OCD so I’m not sure of all the cool little things that may exist or things that people who deal with a similar thing may have found really helped them?
Thanks you so much for any ideas, advice, or whatever you might be able to share 😊 | OCD |
Man it’s been a while. Here were the factors in my environment and something my therapist tells me to register when I feel this way:
* Have I eaten?
* Have I had enough water?
* Am I overwhelmed?
* Are there people around me who care about me?
These are important things to remember as the sensations I was feeling were:
* Like a blanket of dread. You don’t initially understand what’s happening but something bad is going on so you HAVE to freak out.
* I have a habit of looking up medical diagnoses because I just recently had thyroid surgery so SOMETHING ELSE must be happening. This was the main trigger to set me into: “I AM DYING SJAKAJDBDKSKSBS”
* I had to put my fingers on my throat to check my Plus because I had to remember to breathe.
* I felt like my mind wanted to rip out of my physical body. I was...watching myself.
* The self hatred set in of “you did this.”
I work at a health insurance company and a psychologist came to do a lecture about people who experience PTSD. It is not JUST mental. It’s physical sensations. She said she has had to train patients how to breathe productively again.
Like shit, I went to a neurologist who laughed at me when I said I felt dizzy after a few tests and said I had, “Somatization.” Or your feelings are valid but there is no medical diagnosis.
All of this is a reminder of my own journey. I am planning my EMDR in about a week and it is NOT going to be easy. It makes you look at yourself in the mirror and shape your thoughts. I am 25 and I am tired of this battle I’ve had for almost 15 years with my anxiety.
Just know you’re not alone and everything you are experiencing MATTERS. Even in philosophy, absurdism which essentially almost rejects everything, does not reject the moment or the self. You are important above all else.
My name is Athena and I’m a writer who does public speaking about my own experiences in terms of my mental illness and my rape. I am always happy to listen if I can. | ptsd |
ik i cant stop these thoughts but i just wonder if anyone else try their best to prevent these scenarios and panic | OCD |
My family is watching a movie that I didn't know involved an agoraphobic woman, and a horrific car accident. It caught me by surprise and the entire thing is making me feel panicked. I was in an accident that caused ptsd, I'm also agoraphobic, although I'm able to leave the house at times without crippling anxiety. I feel sick to my stomach. How do you cope silently? | ptsd |
I've had this struggle all my life, whether it's making a painting, or writing a paper I don't do practice versions, or parts and pieces. My best work is always when I build and assemble all the pieces of a project together in one go. This is affecting me at work where we are expected to show stages of production.
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We have a short-term tasks list to show what we are working on each day, any task on the list should not take more than a couple days- if we have larger tasks that take longer we are supposed to deconstruct the process into bite sized chunks we can show.
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I am writing a report and building a program, but I find it incredibly challenging to break these endeavors down into their pieces to record in this document. Anyone experience this, know why we experience this, or have some hack to overcome this challenge? | ADHD |
So a little background first, I was in a polyamorous relationship with my ex-wife and ex-girlfriend before my current relationship. My ex-girlfriend sexually abused (including rape) and emotionally abused me for years. My ex-wife knew what was going on because I told her and my ex-wife defended her the whole way. I left about 1.5 years ago.
I went to go dancing with my partner and a couple friends and I ran into my ex-wife on the dance floor. She ignored my existence and I ignored hers. My ex-girlfriend tried to approach me outside the club and I somehow was able to keep it together, looked her right in the eye, flipped her off and said, "fuck you." She pretty much ran away at that point.
One of the people in our group had gotten kicked out. Turns out he had sexually assaulted a girl at the club years ago, so he's not going to be a friend anymore. He had caused a scene and broke a window near where my two exes were. Now I'm sure I look like the scetchy one.
I just wanted to get the fuck out of there, so we left, where I proceeded to have a panic attack on the street. My partner was great and supportive through the whole thing, but I'm shaken up. | ptsd |
I just wanted to ask this question: There was a time when I stopped getting intrusive thoughts and now I forget how they feel like. However, when I was ruminating and thinking about whether I did something or not, I heard a thought (Wasn't audible, it feel like a "loud thought") saying "Yes, you did"
The way I would describe what I heard would be like this: Say the word "Elephant" very loud in your head, it feel like that except I didn't want to think about it. | OCD |
Has anyone had luck using it? In your experience has it made things better or worse? I used to use it for chronic pain but stopped because of concern it would make ocd worse. | OCD |
I finished university this year and started my first job this week. It is remote and I had to do a lot of tasks, filling forms, setting up work laptop and installing softwares with no clear instructions!
I swear to god without every step instruction I can't do anything. I'm having very hard time to get adjusted and doing all this little tasks.
Any tips and suggestions? | ADHD |
So I live in an apartment, and when you live in an apartment, sometimes the managers/landlord will do occasional inspections to make sure nothing is broken, see what needs to be replaced, etc. So today, while I'm at work, my roommate notifies me that the inspectors came by. Normally I wouldn't mind but the inspection also includes inspecting each bedroom. So, here we have these random people just waltzing into my room and touching who knows what. My room is basically my clean sanctuary, one where I know has no outside germs and so I feel very safe and unstressed in there. Another HUGE thing is that I dont wear shoes in my room because its carpet and that is really gross. I know these inspectors didnt take their shoes off to enter my room (because why would they) and I also know they most definitely did not wash their grubby hands before touching my door knobs. I take great care in order to not spread germs inside my room and these randos basically just destroyed that and violated my sense of calm. So now here I am at work absolutely freaked out about it. I can of course sanitize my door knobs with some wipes, but who know what else they touched, it's not like I can wipe down every square inch of my room nor can I wash the carpet. Anyway, sorry for the wall of text, just wanted to vent a little. | OCD |
Even on Google maps I often miss where I'm supposed to go because I misjudge the distance from my icon to the turn. If it's a normal map I get messed up with orientation unless there are obvious labels and landmarks, like where stores are. I'm also always running into things or missing when I toss cause I miss judge the distance between things. This all became very evident when I was playing video games and my SO was trying to show me on a map where to go. I dont think I've ever seen this as an autistic thing (I'm not diagnosed but working on getting tested myself), but anyone else have this issue? Or know how to get better at it? | aspergers |
Hi i thinkni might have aspergers for a while now, im just wondering id any portuguese aspies in here that i cant talk about how it feels to be an aspie in portugal, and some expiriences. I have talnked to amazing aspies from another contries but i think every countrie as a very particular culture asn " social rules".
If there is any portuguese out there i would like to meet you and maybe have a nice chat on the conversation tab 🙂 | aspergers |
I (25F) just got diagnosed with PTSD yesterday after struggling for years with the effects of several abusive relationships and being molested by my grandfather as a child.
The therapist recommended I start on the smallest dose of Sertraline, 25 mg and to take only half a pills per day in the beginning. She also suggested that we set appointments every 2 weeks for talk therapy.
I struggle with constant dissociation, low self-esteem, confidence, anxiety and performing well in school and at work.
She said that most of her patients feel "normal" while taking it and advised me of the side effects.
What I'm mostly worried about is gaining too much weight, but I think if I exercise more it won't be a problem.
I read that it can also affect your libido but I don't think my libido can get any lower than it is right now.
My other worry (which might be quite irrational) is that I'll lose control over myself, but this might be my anxiety speaking.
For people that have taken or are taking Sertraline: How has it helped you cope with your symptoms? Did you manage to eventually stop taking it?
Did it change your personality or the way you think? | ptsd |
Hi so I'm up now and I've been taking adderall xr for about a month, recently bumped to 20mg.
I started taking it at 6-7 and I'm wondering if that's a bad idea making me too sleepy at night and if I should take it at 8 or 9. I do start to zone out at 8ish and have been going to bed by like 10:30 the latest these past few days. | ADHD |
I've noticed for the longest time the way my OCD manifests. Anything that I don't want to happen, my brain will convince me that It will happen or anything I don't want to do that I will either have to do it or that once I get my treatment and OCD is better that I will change my mind or find out that I actually want to do the thing that I don't want to do. For example, there is this guy that I don't personally want to be with, but OCD is convincing me that I want to be with him and even is going as far as to give me false feelings and thoughts that this is the man that I will marry. I would like to see how many people are going through the same thing right now? | OCD |
i hate it here i hate ocd with a passion i hate it i hate it i hate it | OCD |
I was diagnosed with ADHD I guess a week ago when my psychiatrist prescribed me 40mg strattera at age 33. I started taking it last week and so far I've only experienced the side effects. My wife says she doesn't feel like she has to repeat herself as much and that I don't forget things as often so she thinks it's helping. For me it feels like those changes are because I'm working really hard to make those things happen. I feel like I would be at the same level with out the medication. As for the side effects I'm experiencing difficulty with being easily woken up and then I can't fall asleep, I'm constantly thirsty, I experienced rage for the first time when someone stole a parking spot last week. It really scared me. The mental fog is still there and I think some days it's even worse. I can't tell if my sex drive has changed because I think normally I have a lower sex drive. The whole if I'm not actively thinking about it it doesn't exist thing is definitely a big part of that. I know this is my first time trying medication but I'm feeling defeated. I'm concerned that this is just what meds do. I'm speaking with my psychiatrist on Monday and will tell him all of this but I'm scared that this is just what being medicated is. Have any of you had similar experiences but have a success story with finding medication that works for you? I just need some encouragement.
Edit: update, I met with my Dr and they switched me to Adderall XR sofar it seems to be more helpful. I told my wife it makes me feel like I'm fully awake for the first time. I'm feeling more hopeful with this prescription. | ADHD |
Well after months and months of self therapy and being able to put distance between my thoughts and my conscious mind, I had a day free of intrusiveness..... but the next day I found myself at square one..... like everything I learned and put behind me was there again right infront of me. The same thought loops playing over over over again constantly. The ones I managed to stop for weeks, the ones I thoughts were gone for good.
Wtf god help a brother out. | OCD |
In class or when watching most things, I get really focused when a lot of people on this sub can't really struggle with it. I have every other symptom, like figeting, procrastination, insane forgetfulness, cant pay attention to small details and make loads of small errors, brain fog...
However, when it comes to online class, I cant pay attention for more than a couple minutes. I just can't.
Is it possible to just not have that symptom and still have ADHD and is there someone here who was in a similar boat. | ADHD |
I'll keep details vague for those who may be watching the same thing, but Episode 1 starts with a cold open. Of course, because there's absolutely no context it completely vanished from my memory until I skimmed through Episode 1 a few weeks ago and found this "new scene" at the start of it. Curiosity got the better of me, but since then I feel so... frustrated? Angry? that I spoiled the series for myself, since now it's obvious it's from either the ending or something near it (think Breaking Bad) and obviously that knowledge has been rattling around in my head during the episodes that came out afterwards.
That's the first issue. The second is that the opening of the show features several quick shots, both stuff unique to the opening and snippets from the episodes, including part of the cold open. Ever since then, I've also been torn trying to ask myself if I would have noticed the signs that that snippet was in the latter category even without "spoiling myself" if I'd just been left to my own devices. I've spent the past few weeks trying to look up "how to forget memories/ spoilers" and trying YT videos and while they seemed to push the issue into the back of my mind for a while, I've just gone back to rewatching the opening and recent episodes trying to see if I could have figured the latter out and how I would have processes the episodes themselves if I hadn't watched the cold open.
Does anyone have any advice on this, please? It would mean the world to me, though I suppose anyone here would already know that. Thank you in advance! | OCD |
I had an interview and it went well, really well that I got given the job. I wonder now should I have mentioned my disabilities? In the past I was told I’m too slow and other things which I’m sure were because of my disabilities and fired often. I feel like people don’t care or give you a chance if you mention disabilities and it’s a big negative right off the bat. What do you do? | aspergers |
I had a sexual intercourse at 17 June and my period was supposed to come at 8 July but it’s been about two weeks since then.He wore a condom and he also pulled out.Another thing is that during my previous period I took after pill.Today I did a pregnancy test and was negative but still no period.I was about to go tomorrow to do a blood test just to make sure but I read in an article about hook effect that you can still be negative in a blood test and still be pregnant, it’s rare but you know how an ocd brain works.The only thing left for me to do just to make sure I’m not pregnant is to make an ultrasound.I don’t have any other symptoms besides the missed period.I know I am too paranoid I just need advice. | OCD |
I was diagnosed with PTSD at age 21 (almost 8 years ago from a traumatic event at age 6) over the years I have had times where details are hard to remember. Is that normal? I also only remember a previous traumatic event every so often and very vaguely with extreme emotion. I am seeking treatment. I have had EMDR previously but well insurance is always changing it didn't get very far. Is it possible there's more that I've repressed? Sorry for the incoherence. | ptsd |
TLDR; I'm pretty much convinced I've got ASD. Got a diagnostic assessment yesterday and was too nervous to communicate clearly. Got diagnosed with a personality disorder, but I feel like that's not the whole picture. Not sure what should be my next steps.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi,
I usually never posts on social media, but I don't know what else to do right now. I feel like this community could have answers for me.
I'm 27M and I've been depressed for about a year now which led me to learn about ASD. ASD was at the back of my mind for a long time, but, thanks to basically every TV shows that portrays people on the spectrum, I always had this idea that you can not understand sarcasm and be on the spectrum. Oops.
I saw a social worker at the beginning of this year and she pointed out that I had some autistic traits so I started to investigate this matter more seriously and what I found felt like a revelation for me. For the first time it felt like I had a way to put words on things that I had to lived with all my life without really understanding them (e.g. I had no idea that the fact that I can't stand the heat or some clothes fabric and that some sound can send me into full panic mode we're all explained by sensorial hypersensitivity)
This was 6 months ago and since then It feels like I've read every articles, watched every videos and read every blogs to try to increase my knowledge on the subject. I relate to so many of the symptoms and many posts on here feel like they could have been written by me. It's actually kind of weird to have strangers put words on things that I live better than I can. Anyway, my point is that I got pretty convinced that I was on the spectrum. That was until yesterday.
Yesterday, I met with a psychiatrist for a diagnostic assessment and it didn't really go that well. The whole thing lasted an hour and a half and I was very very nervous the whole time. It felt like I was overwhelm by her questions. They were open ended questions and I didn't really know where to start my explanations most of the times so she ended up giving me choices and I just picked the one that fitted the most amongst her choices. This process feels weird to me though. Given other choices my answers could have been completely different. Isn't there tests with scores that are design to screen for ASD?
She also asked me why I thought I was on the spectrum and I felt like that was my chance to talk about all my symptoms, but in the moment it felt like I couldn't think straight and I explained it pretty badly and forgot to mention some important parts. I'm not super proud of myself, but I even forgot to mention that I have sensorial hypersensitivity, which is by far the symptom that has the most impact on my life. Even by my standard of communication, I must admit that this was pretty bad, but how the hell am I supposed to open up to a stranger and make her understand everything that I experienced in an hour and a half when I'm so nervous and can't think straight. I was under the impression that they had some ways to take that into consideration when doing an ASD assessment since communication is often a weakness for people on the spectrum, but now it feels like I was wrong.
So I got diagnosed with a personality disorder. Now, I'm starting to wonder whether I got a huge confirmation bias from all my readings. Isn't there a saying that the easiest person to fool is yourself? I still strongly feels that it is ASD though. There is just too much I relate to. I don't know if it sounds like I'm in denial, but just to be clear, I am not saying that her diagnosis is necessarily wrong. I actually kinda relate to the thing she diagnosed me with. I just think that maybe 90 minutes of talking to me while I'm stressed out and can't communicate clearly is not enough to see the bigger picture.
So what would you do in my shoes? Should I just get a second opinion? How do I know it's gonna be any different if I get a second opinion. She said I could take another meeting with her to talk about stuff. I think she said that mostly because she was scared that I kill myself, but now I'm wondering if there's a way to go over some of our discussions without it sounding like I'm "attacking" her diagnosis.
Thank you for your help. | aspergers |
I've recently been spending a lot of time thinking about death, what comes after it, and what that means for us as people alive right now. While I've been depressed before, I've historically been pretty high-functioning and have a stable well paying job, a loving girlfriend, good friends, and plenty of hobbies which keep me occupied. Over the course of the last few weeks, I've felt lethargic, unmotivated, and extremely unattached. I don't want to talk to my girlfriend, I don't want to spend time with my roommates, I don't want to visit my family, I don't want to complete my projects at work, I don't want to work on my hobbies - everything just feels so meaningless.
So to take a step back, here's my thought process: I had a somewhat distant family member die that sparked me thinking about death. Essentially, no religion, worldly discovery, or thought-process can describe what happens after death, yet I feel like something after death is ultimately the only thing that can give us meaning. I was raised Christian, but even with the bible being long and thorough, it glances over what heaven would actually look like. Will I still have my body? Will I still know my family/friends/significant other? Will I retain the same knowledge/consciousness? Could I still make my own decisions? Most people's fulfillment in life comes from overcoming struggle whether that means building relationships, building a family, getting a promotion, etc. But if heaven is "perfect" with no struggles and we're **eternally** joyful, then everything we know and understand must change for that to become possible. Worse, if God isn't real, then there is nothing after death - which makes it even more meaningless.
In both of these situations, most things that we do in life will ultimately not matter. If someone burns my house down, it's a terrible experience for me to have, but one that I could not possibly care about after the eternalness of death. Good things are like this too. Why would I work so hard to get a promotion? Why should I put effort into family members or my relationships? Why am I not just doing drugs over and over before I succumb to death? Why should people care if I'm suffering or why should I care if others suffer if the suffering is finite and short compared to the eternalness of death? I feel like that's even cruel to ask because the concept of morality is so engrained in me (think the golden rule) why does morality matter at all if everything bad and good that happens in this life will eventually be forgotten and become meaningless.
And this is where I come to you, the good and thoughtful users of reddit, to perhaps change my perspective on this last point. Everywhere I read about existential depression, articles will say to "just live in the moment and focus on today" or "create your own meaning". I feel like this is akin to "it gets better" or "just stick your head down and get through it". Essentially, it feels like everything in life is just a short pleasurable experience that distracts us from the absolute mystery and abstractness of death, the afterlife (whether heaven or nothing), and our purpose. I'm a logical person, and I have no desire in arbitrarily "creating meaning" in my life - I would just be trying to distract myself with a task that (given everything I've said) seems logically pointless.
How can I make sense of the world and not dwell on my perceived meaningless of everything?
Note: This is just my opinion and perhaps not a fact of life. I welcome people to disagree as it may provide me the opportunity to logically escape the torment of believing this.
TL/DR: Death/afterlife is super long which means the good/bad of today isn't meaningful. We don't know what happens after death at all, so without knowing, everything in life feels meaningless. I'm not willing to arbitrarily "create meaning" and it's sucking my happiness away from me. | depression |
I have HOCD, so things have already been a difficult ride, but I was looking at a post that was talking about a girl realizing she was a lesbian at 15, and I got this feeling in my chest and groin. So I’m freaking out about me being a P when I don’t want to be attracted to kids. For fucks sake. I don’t want to be attracted to kids. As a matter of fact I only talk to girls my age (I’m 19) or above about my HOCD, because it scares me when I talk to women from the HOCD forum about my HOCD shit because of said fear. I don’t want to be gay or bisexual at all. I just want to love women and be straight. But I’d rather die than be a disgusting pedo. | OCD |
i (f14) have been taking fluoxetine for almost my entire life. right now, i’m taking 3 pills of 20 mg, yet for the past few years my psychiatrist wants me to take aripiprazole. my parents don’t want me to, but my therapist encouraged me to be more involved with my health. has anyone taken it and what were the side effects? | OCD |
[Here's last week's Solitude Project Saturday](https://old.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/ozuquj/solitude_project_saturday_what_projects_are_you/)
**So, /r/aspergers, what projects do you have on the go right now? Any ideas on the backburner for one reason or another? Any ideas just in the planning phase?** Even if you are working on them with someone else, they still apply here. If you can mention the interest that you have that relates to the project, that would be great; it may help others. | aspergers |
obvious trigger warning for this post:
ever since I was a little kid i had strange obsessions with harming myself. although I have had issues with suicide/self harm in the past, what I'm talking about specifically is a desire to hurt myself without any intent of *wanting* to be hurt.
my head tells me I have to touch the iron once. i have to touch that hot pot. I have to run my fingers against paper to see if I'll get a paper cut.
It's strange but it drives me crazy. I don't want to do any of that but my head won't shut up. I do the papercut thing a lot and it drives me insane i feel like I'm crazy
I know harm ocd is a thing but the articles didn't seem specific enough to how i feel | OCD |
Does anyone ever feel as though they want to cry and they’re on the verge of tears, but they just can’t cry?
For the last couple of days I’ve gotten so upset to the point of tearing up, getting that weird “I’m going to cry” nose and throat feeling and then nothing.
Is this a normal thing for anyone? How the heck can I get these emotions out? | ptsd |
I’ve had problems drinking and some drug use for awhile, I’ve been doing a lot better. These last few weeks have been great. I’ve Barely drank, haven’t done any drugs and got a new good paying job, and all of a sudden today my depression issues come back. I kinda figured it would, anytime I get happy for awhile it always comes back strong. Just gotta fight through it and not make any stupid decisions I guess. | depression |
“Wild Geese”
by Mary Oliver
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things. | OCD |
Autistic virgin that has many comorbid disorders like depression and anxiety disorders. Whenever I read statistics on autism that's all I am, I tick so many of the boxes of problems associated with asd. What a miserable existence | aspergers |
Don’t read this if you are easily triggered by violence or weapons, I’m writing this because I’m hoping to relieve some of the weight on my shoulders. I’m known as a positive Person by those around me and unable to be honest with everyone about the inner struggle I face daily due to multiple incidents... the most notable being shot with a hollow tip 9mm round.
I was in a truck with one of my best friends at the time, I was looking down noticed some movement in my peripheral then all of the sudden I felt an impact like a punch to face. I could feel my blood leaving my bodily heavily and my jaw hanging loose. I opened the door and started to walk a short difference before falling. I was fully conscious at this point, I thought I had been shot in the neck and was experiencing my last moments. I remember holding pressure on my wound until I passed out. To my surprise I woke up 5 days later in the hospital after being airlifted. Another big surprise was when I was informed that my “friend” told the police I randomly grabbed his gun and shot myself. (Later an investigation revealed the truth) he didn’t think I would survive to tell the true story. The bullet hit the left side of my jaw exited out the right side and struck me in the chest. That was 2017, I’ve had multiple reconstructions over the years since and look amazing given my injury. Last year I also made 98k gross so you would think I’m living great...However I’m still battling what I believe to be PTSD and it’s interfering with my life. I overwork myself to try to keep my mind off of the endless loop of replaying the situation in my mind and feeling the emotions boil up. When I talk to people I shove it too the back of my mind but it’s still there. I doubt anybody suspects that When I’m home alone I spend my free time listening to music slumped on the couch depressed. I feel spaced out often and sometimes it’s hard to feel genuine emotions other than anger. Sometimes I get over whelmed by the emotions to where my hands start shaking. Sometimes I feel violent, sometimes I feel like crying. Everywhere I go I’m on edge and constantly feeling as if someone is going to try to hurt me. I have a 5 year old son who probably doesn’t know his dads having bloody memories of a gunshot running through his head while we’re playing. In my mind I’ve been shot and died a 10000 times. apparently I hide this struggle very well but lately I’ve been thinking it may be time to look for help, I forgot what it feels like to be a human without this violent baggage with me. | ptsd |
I have severe contamination ocd. Ive been housebound for a year and a half because of the pandemic. I dont go near anyone. Ive lost a lot of weight because i dont eat much anymore. Im terrified. I feel like i have to prepare myself to die. I feel like im going to be the one that has an awful reaction or dies. Im all alone. I wish i had someone here to monitor me. Any advice from people that were really anxious and scared to get vaccinated?
If you are against vaccinations please refrain from commenting. | OCD |
All my life I have been fighting. Doing everything to mask my non acceptable behavior. I have faked friendships, relationships, feelings.
Every morning I wake up wishing I had a normal brain. I could have had such a nice life but everything I do is masked and nothing is genuine. I come home every day tired as shit from playing this fucking act-neurotypical game.
Next month I will be 20 years old and to be honest I am not looking forward to it, mentally I feel 80 and so exhausted.
I just wish I had the guts to do it right now, just put a 12 gauge up my jaw and close my eyes.. but I am a pussy so that won’t be happening anytime soon I think. | aspergers |
I keep getting scared everytime I’m on my phone that someone can see it and something awful is going to appear and they are going to see it. I have nothing to hide, I have nothing obscene on my phone, I am not talking to any girls I am not cheating on my girlfriend and never would, yet when she looks at my phone I get SO ANXIOUS and have the worst thoughts of things or text messages appearing on my phone. God forbid if anyone looks through my camera roll. I have nothing on there yet I’d think I’ve forgetton about some horrible picture existing on there. Sometimes I think people are looking at my phone and spying on me because they can see something or have seen something I haven’t seen or realised is there
I also just want to say I’m sorry if I’m posting on here too much, it’s just my ocd is peaking at the moment and I don’t know how else to deal with it. I’m too scared to talk to anyone else. | OCD |
Like once your OCD is triggered by something, you keep over thinking it until the initial worry turns into something you didn't think of before, almost like "sub-obsessions" and you have to go through all of "waves" until you reach the full cycle, even if you try to stop at the beginning because you know you're just gunna fall into the trap and regret and feel bad for not trying harder to end the initial thought, its almost like you can't and just have to let it run its course for the obsession to subside. | OCD |
Its been around 7/8 months since I got rejected by my LO, we still chat casually for the next 3 months but I became too needy and keep bugging her unintentionally and she get tired, she did gives me a lot of chances to fix myself, ask me to seek therapy and ask for no contact rule for a while bcs she feels abused, but bcs of my intrusive thought, I always got scared that she will eventually forget me or fall in love with someone else and ultimate I disregard all 3 of her wishes. She decided to end things with me in a good way, but I cant just accept that and after some argument she finally gives up and blocked me. And the past 5 months has been a living hell for me. Sometime later, She did say she forgive me and she's really sorry that she cant be there for me when im having a rough time bcs she also has her own problem and she still hasn't healing yet from the mental trauma I caused her. The last conversation we had is she showing consolidation to me bcs I got scammed and lose a lot of money and she try to cheer me up, luckily at that time I just finished watch a very heartwarming anime and I feel so good inside, so I replied her about I will stop feeling self pity, stop trying to talk with her unless she want to and move forward with my life. I hope that I left good impression on her. And im really happy that the last thing she said to me is how she actually still care about me.
Of course bcs of my limerence, my feelingng towards her doesnt end that easily, I still miss her everyday and remember the good time we had every now and then and cry about it. I tried my best to shake it off by thinking all sort of positive things such as if she's really meant to be, she will return to me and although I did hurt her, it was never intentional and I acted with only the knowledge I had at that time and promise to not to do it again in my future relationship. But sometimes it is still not enough and my anxiety get the better of me thinking about what if she's not doing fine, what if she falls into a manipulative boy, does she feels lonely and bored. It really stressed me out and when that happend, I jack off thinking about having sex with her to ease my anxiety, it may sound unethical but at least it helps my feeling although temporarily. I feel bad bcs sometimes i pray for her to have a nice life but sometimes i degraded her with my imagination. Is it an okay thing to do?
P.s.: she's a really kind girl and It was all my fault that she decided to block me. And im not interested with her because of lust, I really love her for who she is | depression |
I am 22(m), went my whole life up until about 3 months ago without a diagnosis. I always knew that I could not focus like my peers which led to very poor performance in high school. Ultimately I was able to figure out how to do good in school without being able to focus graduating with a bachelors degree, but I never had the focus that I wanted in order to actually be able to retain information.
I always attributed these struggles to childhood trauma, but after years and years of trying to figure out how to overcome this by using certain PTSD therapies and coping methods, I realised there is something larger holding me back from my goals. After graduating from college in May and getting what I thought was my dream job in my dream career, I couldn't get over anxieties or do the things that are seemingly easy for other people to be successful in this career.
I ended up getting diagnosed with severe ADHD and have been having a difficult time getting over that my brain was so jaded all these years and will be forever unless I take the proper steps to maximise my brains capacities, not just take the medicine and consider myself "fixed".
If anyone has any input as a young adult getting diagnosed I would appreciate to hear your input.
Thank you | ADHD |
Have trouble focusing on articles? *Me too!*
**Copy & paste the text into a text to audio program and follow along.**
* Adjustable/consistent **pacing**
* It provides **two forms of processing** (visual & auditory)
* **The audio helps keep you accountable**/on task if you start to stray from the text
I keep a word doc open as well so I can easily copy and paste segments that I find interesting/want to reference later :)
***Let's get those degrees my ADHDudes !*** | ADHD |
I feel pissed, terrible and I can't shake it. Something happens, everything in my day just begins to go down the drain and I feel like shit as everything just spirals for whatever arbitrary duration of time/days. I'm told to not think about what makes me so angry but I literally can't. I can't just unthink what has or is currently bothering me, I wish it was that easy. It drives me up the wall and now I'm just in a dining hall sitting alone, feeling too angry to even eat anything despite being hungry, with a cup of water instead of actual food, and cursing at and insulting myself under my breath because sometimes I just fucking hate myself along with everything else that bothers me and reminds me of my inadequacies and shortcomings in any aspect of my life. I'm sorry if this is too negative for even the venting tag, I just don't know what to do. | OCD |
Look ive always been independent i dont need support though i do wanna let this out
Im 100 percent sure i have ocd ive done research and everything and its way more obvious because my ocd isnt like mentally telling me stuff its like the physical compulsions ive had the since birth
The youngest i can remember is popping my neck
I also have the rechecking ocd and the whole load
But my family is the type of family like
Dont put that on yourself or you only have ocd if you think you have ocd its like you can get a disorder if you want to to them
So they dont think im lying about my compulsions they just dont think there compulsions they think i just put it on myself or something idk so if you're reading this you probably have ocd
Is there something only people with ocd could know so i can atleast prove it to myself that i have ocd?
Because ig if noone else believes you, you have to support yourself on your own | OCD |
despite me trying so hard to not go numb again im numb I can't cry I don't know what im feeling and I just want this endless cycle of misery to end. | depression |
I’ve been worried recently about not having a purpose in life or that I can’t figure out the meaning behind everything and it led me to have the suicide ocd theme too and I in no way want to hurt myself but I’m constantly anxious about it and what if I kms in the future? How can I be happy now if that happens in the future?? What exposures do you do for that kind of thing? Same thing for every other theme? | OCD |
I have terrible ADHD, I just have so much I want to do and so much time but I never end up doing anything and alot of times I just skip sleep thinking about what I need to be doing and end up still not doing it. IDK if ADHD can get worse but I feel like that's been happening to me. Before, I couldn't focus on lengthy lectures or talks of any kind even if I'm interested in the topic. Now, even when people talk to me I find it hard to hear the full sentences before I lose my focus! I don't know how to control or stop this from happening! Is this problem purely psychological or does it have other symptoms?
Also, when I was diagnosed, at first I was so happy knowing that now I can finally take steps to treat it but was just treated with denial from my family who pretended ADHD and my diagnoses never happened which prevented me from getting the medicine/treatment of any kind. My dad tells me it's all my imagination since I'm "smart" and got good grades in school, then there is no way i have ADHD. İn school i mostly slept or doodled through my classes and ended up cramming before exams which worked for the most part because the content was so easy for me but that process didn't hold up for university (go figure). Also I keep dropping things/ falling down and losing things more and more recently, my siblings make fun of me for being so clumsy all the time and I'm really bothered by it, since i can't help it. why does it feel like my ADHD is getting so much worse?
Are there any other ways to treat ADHD without taking medication? I lost my diagnoses papers so i can't get medication and even when i did have it my dad didn't let me have medication.
For context I'm in my senior year of Computer Science, actually this is my 6th year since starting university so i am pretty late, i should have graduated long ago so the "smart" can't have ADHD argument has burst long ago if i am able to convince my dad. I feel like the last 6 years of university feel really muddled, i can't remember what I studied or who I've met, even if i get an A on a difficult subject a semester ago, i forget what it was even about. Seriously i don't know what i should do at this point, i just want to graduate and end this misery, afterwards I'll even forget i ever went to university.
I feel like i lost so many good opportunities and time because i left my ADHD untreated but i have no way of proving what i experienced and no one to believe me in my family. Any sort of guidance from you guys would be so appreciated. I'm currently broke so i can't get another psychiatric evaluation or afford medication. | ADHD |
I’m not a good person I’m lazy dumb and out of shape I don’t know how to improve I sometime try different things in my life but in the end I always give up on everything I have no dreams motivation or much friends I always lose them if I do make them because I can be very distant my life has been an accumulation of nothing I don’t have a single thing I can tell people I’m proud of I’m just so done with everything I’m not having any suicidal thoughts but it’s still so miserable and tiring waking up everyday and being this person I hate it so much and everyone knows it too I’ve been called lazy and stupid by most of my family some old friends though about me that way I can’t even have the energy to do some simple task to help others I always let’s other do everything for me I use people just for my own selfish and miserable nature and I want to stop but I just don’t know anymore where to go from here and how to make myself better | depression |
Life has never been the same anymore, feeling like my past is fading away, Reminiscing of my childhood, of my Family getting together having memorable times.
But sometimes good things come to an end.
Since covid I've became an introvert, a teen not even ready for life. It's gotten downhill quick I've lost hope when I saw others going through stuff of their own,Like that I knew.
How come I have to partake in this.
Thoughts of suicide at age 10 wasn't how I thought my life would start having problems in my future.
I'm going to therapy now, I'm ashamed to think of what my mom's going through, having to put up with a depressed , lonely, introverted, troubled child
sometimes I think I'm gonna die alone inside my room | depression |
I’m just gonna add a trigger warning beforehand just in case. I feel like it’s inevitable that I’ll get assaulted in some way. I’m going back to college in less than a month and I read about the statistic that says 27% of women get s*xually assaulted in college and I feel i could become a part of that percentage. I also go to college in a dangerous city so I have a fear someone could come up behind me and punch me/kill me as well or something. I have to knock on objects 9 times every time I think about it or get an intrusive thought about it and idk how to get it to stop, this is already too much on top of my other obsessions | OCD |
Each night I fall asleep by browsing Reddit or some other social medium, or a little bit of all of them on my phone until the dopamine runs out. Each morning I wake up a little more tired. Have any of you ever broken that cycle? How? I get very restless when I try to do nothing in bed at night… heart pounding, tossing and turning. | ADHD |
Most of the people I interact with on a day to day basis don't have to deal with the same stuff I do and its made me extremely insecure about myself. Having a community of people that battle the same things I do has made me feel more accepting of myself. So I just want to say to say to everyone who's here, thank you for sharing your stories and we're all going to live amazing lives despite this shitty thing we have to battle. | ADHD |
AHHHHHHHHHHHH (just let out those OCD frustrations yall) | OCD |
Me and my husband (a very high functioning aspie) got married a little over a year ago.
While we were dating and even in the beginning of our marriage, it took a while to get used to not spending as much time with my significant others as i usually do, especially after moving in together. I’m cool with that now, I love that we have separate things and interests but I wish we did more together.
We practically never have sex. MAYBE 2 times a month. And honestly this part bothering me is more of a two parter.
I do everything for our household, I plan finances, I make all the big decisions, I cook, I clean, I essentially take care of us 1000% and I didn’t realize how bad it had gotten until my friends and my mom started pointing it out. He spends ALL of his money in 2 days of getting paid and then I have to cover us eating and gas and bills throughout the entire pay period and then turns around and does it ALL OVER AGAIN. This has happened for the last 6 pay periods in a row, all his money is gone in 4 days MAX! And when I try to talk finances, he just gets super overwhelmed and freaks out and either storms out or starts yelling/cussing and punching himself in the head which makes me feel so bad I just leave it alone.
This happens with EVERY serious conversation nowadays, he just starts flipping out and punching himself in the head and then I just give up bc I don’t want him to hurt himself and then twenty minutes later he just goes back to talking to me like nothing at all happened and I don’t wanna trigger him again so I let it go, but we also NEVER have finished talking about any of our issues.
I feel so neglected. He’s not there much for me emotionally because he “never knows what to say”, he doesn’t help me with things I need like cleaning, cooking or planning meals, running errands and keeping up with stuff and I’ve asked SO many times. Just over the last year I’ve gone into debt three different times bailing us out from things he’s gotten a into without even talking to me. For example he bought a brand new car without talking to me and now we’re 29,000 in the hole on that loan.
I love him and he says he loves me too but I promise I don’t feel it at all. I feel like someone’s dad to a teenage son. And on top of all the emotional/day to day neglect that I feel, he never wants to have sex and it makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me. We were friends when we first met so I KNOW that he’s a sexual person. I’ve heard so many stories of things he’s done from friends and others. But when it comes to me I can’t even get this man to lay in bed and make out with me. It’s always “I’m not in the mood” but when I met this man he was ALWAYS in the mood, but since we got together it’s never been with me.
I just feel like he married me so he wouldn’t be alone and so he would have someone to take care of him, even when I said I think we need a break it didn’t even seem like he was sad to lose me it was just “great I’m gonna die alone”.
Idk, I need to hear this from the perspective of someone on the spectrum. I just wanna feel loved and wanted, that’s all. | aspergers |
Not sure if this is related to having OCD, but I figured I’d survey those here. Does anyone else have severe anxiety about opening Christmas gifts (or gifts in general)?
I LOVE giving gifts, but I despise opening them. Everyone is looking at me. I feel pressure to have a certain reaction, and even if I absolutely love a gift I always feel like I look staged or ungrateful because I’m basically sitting there having a panic attack about if how I’m reacting is right/ok. It’s just kind of awful, I’m so stuck in my head that I hardly feel present in the moment. Can I take all mine home and open when no one is looking? Lol
How is something so simple, sweet, and kind as gift giving a source of such massive anxiety for me?! | OCD |
This happened a while ago, but I would really appreciate any advice you might have.
I (f15) am almost certain I have Inattentive ADHD. When I first learned about what it was, I related so much to every symptom. I did I huge amount of research on this, and finally felt like I wasn’t alone. When I mentioned this to my parents, they said I was just making excuses for being lazy, and that I zone out on purpose. They also said that the reason I can’t pay attention in school for more than 5 minutes is because it’s not challenging enough for me. They even said I wanted to get diagnosed to take drugs. I was kinda upset by this, and couldn’t fall asleep that night because I kept thinking about it. I ended up writing an essay in the middle of the night about how I match every symptom and that ADHD is a real thing.
The next morning after they read it, they said that if it will make me satisfied, they would take me to the family doctor. I agreed and filled out all the self-assessment papers.
I don’t know how important this is, but during this time, one of my Guinea pigs got very sick. I thought she was going to die and spent a few weeks feeding her critical care and crying. I was so upset I forgot to eat for over a day. It made me really sad because memories of not taking a different Guinea pig to the vet soon enough kept replaying in my head. Luckily she ended up fine, but a couple months earlier one of my other Guinea pigs died suddenly and I keep feeling so guilty because if I took her to the vet sooner she might still be alive.
When I was talking to my doctor with my dad, he said that because of this, the anxiety and depression were just situational. Then he also said I didn’t have any problems with hyperactivity or impulsivity which I already knew. He said the inattentive part was quite high, but then he also said that because I get good grades in school, “there’s nothing to treat.” I was so shocked he said this. Sure I get good grades, but I have no friends whatsoever and I even leave huge assignments to the night before. In the car ride home, I asked my dad if he said I had Inattentive ADHD and he said no.
Now it’s been a few months, and I keep asking my mom to take me to see a psychiatrist but she doesn’t really do or say anything. I would really appreciate any advice you have. I didn’t want to make this post super long, ranting about all my problems/why I think I have ADHD, but if you would like to know how I relate to each of the symptoms, I’ll answer all of your questions. I just really feel like my family doctor didn’t really understand ADHD very well, and would like to talk to someone who won’t say that grades are the only thing that matter. | ADHD |
Long rant, scroll down to bottom for TLDR.
So I went to see a dietitian today for the first time. Food has always been weird for me and now I realise that I have no idea what a healthy diet looks like and honestly ADHD and the treatment kinda messes with my hunger cues and cravings. THIS DIETITIAN SUCKED.
She spent the first half questioning my ADHD because I'm in medicine (like I can't be successful by neurotypical standards and still have ADHD?). Then admitted that she just went of on a tangent bc curious and it had no relevance to my appointment.
She spent the second half dismissing my concerns about some other health stuff I'm experiencing even though my diet lacks nutrients evident by me having deficiencies and told me it didn't matter that I felt tired or am deficient bc I manage to exercise 4+ times a week (which I do bc it helps my adhd). Then followed it up by telling me to eat more salads with no specific guidance on how to improve my diet when sometimes food seems repulsive or all I want to do is eat potatoes.
I'm so frustrated. It's taken a long time to accept and embrace my diagnosis and it felt really shit to have it questioned by a stranger. Also I was seeing her under guidance/referral from my medical team. There was no reason for her to question my condition. Then to not even get any guidance on how to improve my diet or practical advice that I can implement. I'm just trying to not feel shit and get my diet sorted.
I have been doing meal delivery stuff for cooking but it's expensive and I'm moving soon so wont be an option.
Questions I have:
\- How do you get food in during the middle of the day when you're out and busy and on meds so your hunger cues are messed up?
\- Are there any meals/foods/nutrients you find improves or worsens your symptoms?
\- Are there any other general diet tips you have? I'm sick of feeling tired
TLDR: I saw a dietitian who really dismissed/questioned my adhd because of my postgrad education and so now I am asking the internet for food tips. | ADHD |
Not even sure if this is the right place to post about this ( even though I'm pretty sure I am depressed ( well I know something is wrong with me )) but I'm wondering if this is causing me issues. I prefer when people are just being themselves that way I can judge them fairly . My only problem is it makes me see a lot of motivations I would consider negative in people i.e ( people trying to get close to me to get close to someone else, someone motivated by guilt / feeling bad for someone / feeling like owing them ect ) . Is this bad think to think of ? This is literally an important idea in my life and and day today decisions so if it is bad how would I stop ? | depression |
I'm a bit skeptical to write this as there's a small part of me that wants to be cautious of narcissism and ego defence. Having said that, I think I've thought this over enough and believe the conclusion does hold weight.
When I developed PTSD, I was trying everything possible to figure out what happened to me, why am I suddenly in this vortex of fear and hypervigilence etc etc. This led to me doing extensive research in psychology, therapies, religions, spirituality, ego etc. I've had mystical experiences with psychedelics where I have experienced what I can only describe as "Cosmic Love".
These are things that I would estimate 90%+ of people have not done based on my interaction with people. They have not taken the time to figure out their own biases, beliefs, ideology etc. Why they do what they do, like what they like etc. Why? Because it's painful to go in there and start trying to rewire shit. There's almost no point. Whereas when you have PTSD, there's every point. It's life and death. You want so desperately to get out of it that you'll do anything. For example: start shadow work. (Jungian Philosophy)
Anyway... I also remember seeing a TedTalk on YouTube, titled: "Psychosis or Spiritual Awakening?". That always stuck with me. I think because, like I said, after developing PTSD, maybe 6 months later, I started doing anything I could to "fix" myself. Started meditating, listening to Eckhart Tolle, taking psychedelic trips, studying psychology and spirituality blah blah blah.
So basically what I'm saying is this:
I am of the opinion that trauma CAN, not neccesarily WILL, open one up to extreme growth as a person and identity, due to the desire to resolve the trauma and have a healthy, fulfilled life. This opens one up to new possibilities, new models of reality, and new beliefs to replace the previous regressive ones that may have even helped contribute to the trauma. Hence, growth and evolution occurs in the psyche.
Also, i feel the intense suffering that comes from PTSD opens one up to being more compassionate and loving to others, at least in my own experience.
Now, I have also noticed on this journey that the majority of people just piss me off. Lol. Like I've said, most haven't done any inner work and I feel most haven't got past the mental age of 16-18. A lot of adult life that I have encountered seems to be like a school playground. This comes in the form of gossip, hierarchical social games, drama, etc.
I'm not sure if I'm communicating this correctly but I guess what I'm almost trying to say is: it's a bit like stepping out of The Matrix. Everyone else is running around creating enemies, and warring with each other. The trauma sufferer sees this as futile and wants peace and love and goes on a journey of resolution and healing becoming a better and more complete person in the process.
There's something that opens up in the midst of intense suffering (like PTSD) which I have termed here: Expansion of Consciousness.
Now, interacting with most other people just feels like a chore. It feels a lot of them do things like gaslighting, hierarchical social games, gossip etc etc. It's just exhausting.
Tried to explain as best I can. I'd love to hear what you think on this. 🙂 | ptsd |
Is when I'm being raped or taking the abuse for someone else. Otherwise no one cares, ever. What's the point? Seriously I know we're all depressed but like what is the point. Why shouldn't I plaster the pavement with my brains | depression |
Hello. I Was hoping maybe someone else who had similar fears could talk with me. The last 2 months have been hell for me in regards to my apartment. I live in an older, slightly deteriorating lower level of a house with my partner, son, and pets. Been here for 3.5 years now. Recently it’s been drawn to my attention that there is potential asbestos in numerous places throughout the home. On an enclosed porch in the form of shingles, that is used as a main entry way/ mud room. In my kitchen on the ceiling and one wall. In the bathroom, on 2 of the walls surrounding the toilet. In a pantry area that has no door, and is mainly used as cat box storage area and pet food storage area. The reason for my dismay is the fact that the one shingle on the porch has been damaged slightly from our door knob being slammed into it often over the past few years. I am also concerned because some of the ceiling in the kitchen has flaked off onto dishes and snacks and before knowing it could be asbestos, we would just wipe it away, or pick off and then go about our day. The bathroom is also a major concern, because we all spend a lot of time in there and that’s the room with water damage and the most risk of harm, in my opinion. The walls weren’t sealed to the door jamb properly, and there were a few holes nailed into suspected walls. There have also been walls nailed in every room in the house, even prior to use living here. I keep trying to rationalize that even with small damage, unless there are copious amounts of dust everywhere the risk is probably minimal. My partner painted over the shingle on the porch and then duct taped it so it can’t be damaged again. They also put caulking up in the bathroom over suspicious areas for my peace of mind (plus it looked really bad anyway). I just can’t shake the idea of what damage we have done to ourselves, and the idea of what if there are still fibers in the air or on our things slowly killing us. I keep googling and looking for more and more info or reassurance, and then I go looking for more potential asbestos products in the place. I’m scared to stay here another year or so as I’m trying to save up for a townhome of my own, but I don’t want to move into another apartment out of fear either, as moving will most likely cost me more money now and make it harder for me to get my townhome. I just need to vent to someone who understands. My partner, friends, and therapist don’t understand my ocd so that makes it hard to talk about. Thanks to anyone who takes time to read this! | OCD |
I'm sure many people here have heard something similar to that, and I'm equally sure that most of us have identified what's called hyper-focus. Anyways, I found a quora answer that I think fully and properly highlights the ADHD-particular problem with focus.
# The question was:
**Is an autistic hyper-focus different to an ADHD one? Would an ADHD hyper focus appear more intense, whereas an autistic one be more relaxed?**
# The answer was:
I can’t speak to autistic hyper-focus.
But I have ADHD and do a lot of hyper-focusing. This was fortunate for me, because as. a child, I hyper focused on reading and test-taking, which meant that my ADHD did not cause severe problems with my academic success (there were problems, but the hyper focus went a long way towards mitigating those problems.
I don’t think anyone would say I was super-intense looking when I hyper focus. What happens is that the rest of the world goes away, and to a large extent I am unaware of anything beyond my focus—things like the passage of time, and noises in my vicinity. They are there, but they don’t matter to me. I’m pretty relaxed, just non-responsive to things other people might think I should respond to.
People will say, “Oh, he can’t possibly have ADHD, because he can spend hours playing with Legos.” No, he probably hyper focuses on Legos. (Assuming that there are other reasons to think ADHD is a reasonable diagnosis.). People with ADHD can do a diffuse focus, where our minds are zipping from thing to thing to thing, and we can do hyper-focus, though not everyone has much control over going into hyper-focus. What we don’t do well at all is a sort of middle-focus where we concentrate on our goal, get distracted by reasonable things (answering the door or the phone) and then go back to our task with the same kind of focus we started with.
I just thought I'd share | ADHD |
Every morning when I wake up, I always ask why? What’s the purpose if I am just going to feel helpless and hopeless again. “Help yourself” they said but how?
Been taking my meds for more than 6 months but I still feel the same. I just want to be stoic. I want to be a robot with no emotions.
I will be happy to not wake up the next day. I want to leave this world in a peaceful way.... | depression |
After nearly 3 years of dealing with what I thought was severe anxiety, I finally decided to speak with someone other than my PCP, who determined pretty quickly I have ADHD (in his opinion). He had me reach out to my family to see if I was diagnosed as a child and sure enough, I had been, but my parents don't believe in mental ailments so I was never treated until now.
I've been on a low dose of adderall for the past 2.5 weeks and the difference is so completely night and day. I wish I would have known before flunking out of college, hopping from dead-end job to dead-end job and the loss of numerous relationships.
Sadly, I recently had to move from Michigan to Tennessee shortly after my diagnosis. I'm worried I will have to go through this whole process again to get medication that I clearly need, especially in a bible-thumping area where I had to move. I feel like for the first time in a long time I'm actually able to be the person I've wanted to be and I'm worried that if I'm not able to get my medication, I'm going to fall back into an even worse slump than before.
Should I be worried about dealing with a new doctor, who might not agree with my diagnosis or refuse to let me continue my medication? | ADHD |
Hey everyone, I was wondering if anyone has had experience getting help for their autistic parent before? My dad is very stubborn and can be manipulative and emotionally abusive. I want to help him but I just don't know how to start. We are an immigrant family and my dad is retired so he doesn't have a job here. We don't live in the same place anymore but when we do see each other its quite harmful. It can be physically painful for me to be near him sometimes. Our relationship is getting out of hand at this point and I don't know what to do. Any advice? | aspergers |
I have suffering hocd severely don't know what to do😭😭😞 | OCD |
Just started adderall today, my doctor's starting with half a 20mg tablet for the first few days to get me used to it and advised that I don't quit caffeine completely but try to drink less than I usually do, and no energy drinks. Well I just had two cups of coffee over a few hours, which was previously not enough to wake me up properly, and I'm all jittery. Is that normal? | ADHD |
i was having a bad day suicidal thoughts i said I’ll meditate ill feel better i was in my medication then my father came in he saw me that i was meditating he fucking Laughed at me like i was a clown then i said what he closed the door now im crying i feel like shit tomorrow i have an exam i was preparing to study today i had an presentation all of the students at my class laughed at me for now reson i just want to kill my self i feel like shit j wanna DIE DEIEIEIEIEIEI | depression |
Relative to "neurotypicals."
**Eyesight:** Neurodivergent as either mentally near-sighted or far-sighted.
* They don't **focus** on the same material with clarity.
**Hearing:** Neurodivergent as mentally "out of tune" relative to neurotypicals- either too high or too low frequency, which leads to dissonance.
* They don't **resonate** with the same frequencies.
**Taste:** Neurodivergent as mentally overwhelming or unremarkable.
* The don't **input & output** the same information.
**Touch:** Neurodivergent as mentally soft or hard.
* The don't **feel** the same way.
**Smell:** Neurodivergent as mentally over-sensitive or under-sensitive.
* They don't **vibe** the same way.
I tried to think through a conclusion for this, but I think the function is to remember that the "spectrum" goes both ways, with neurotypical in the middle. This isn't to say neurotypical is "flat," more that neurodivergence has a different frequency and amplitude altogether. I just made this graphic to think about it further- each person's functioning is visualized as a sine wave: [Imgur Link To Neurodivergence Frequency Graphic](https://i.imgur.com/PITvG4P.jpg)
Neurodivergent minds struggle with being both "too much" and "not enough" relative to those around them. With good reason, they don't hold or express neurotypical forms synchronously. Occasionally, or through experience-based adaptation, they can match neurotypicals directly, but will be flying off in some other direction the next moment if left to themselves.
It is also worth noting that very few people remain at a perfect "neurotypical" frequency and amplitude at all times- in fact, it doesn't exist- it's just an average that morphs through time and place. The following is not to downplay struggles- it is to think about situating them into a larger view and considering what can, or even needs, to be within an individual's control.
Most things can be seen as a dualistic cycle- day and night, waking and sleeping, birthing and dying. The human body is made of innumerable parts, but generally seen as a single unit- a distant city can be covered by one's own hand. In nature, there is harmony and dissonance. If absolutely everything is taken into a singular lens, the divergence is seen as one. | aspergers |
One of the small ways this year was tough has been that I've been unable to visit the place I grew up. I haven't lived there full time for quite a while now, but I can't get over this feeling that I'm away from home. In a temporary place. Not quite at rest. Not quite standing on the lowest ground. Like I'm not quite welcome anywhere else, you know? Sort of reminds me of the garden of eden; like out here I'm living by the sweat of my brow. Which of course I am; I didn't have to pay rent back home. But I don't think that's it. I think that I've never been able to move my save point, so to speak. Most of my dreams still take place there. Like somehow at the back of my mind I'm still trying to fit everything into "and when I get back home I'll" but I *am* home.
I'm sure, based on my observations, that many other adults spend a lot of time trying to recreate their childhood. The [boomer Christmas chart](https://xkcd.com/988/) comes to mind as does the massive reaction to anything that might change the appearance of a neighborhood. But I do wonder if I'm alone in this feeling of being homesick for a place that isn't your home and hasn't been for quite some time. | aspergers |
Is it only me who is furious about this entire world of OCD treatment, including this very community? It it only me who feels they were failed by CBT, ERP, and ACT? Is it only me who feels these models and treatments are deeply flawed, and making us more sick every day?
I'm telling you, the CBT view of OCD is utter horseshit. It was made by people who didn't have OCD, and had no good explanation or cure for the symptoms of their patients. It is not worth any of our time.
If you have been through the treatment but are still sick, the proof is in the pudding. If you could never fit your life experience into the confines of "trigger-obsession-appraisal-compulsion," there's some proof too. If you've become deeply confused about what's "a real thought," but deep down know that that concept is nonsensical, take that as some more proof.
We all have been trapped in a world of nonsense and pseudo scientific explanations of our own experiences, and it is making us more sick. What I'm most bitter about is the fact that before I discovered Dr. Michael J. Greenberg (the man who saved my life), I was driven to insanity by the fact that deep down I knew that CBTs explanation of OCD, ACT, and nearly everything Dr. Steven Phillipson says were total bullshit. I knew they couldn't be right, because they made no fucking sense. But the entire world of OCD treatment told me that these ideas were right, that they were scientific truisms, that they would make me better, and if they didn't the problem must be me. It was fucking hell, and the word that comes to mind is gaslighting. This is what I want to save others from. Bad medical treatment for an easily curable disease, and years of gaslighting.
If you want to fully recover from OCD, the best placed to start is a Google search of Dr. Michael J. Greenberg. The man will turn your shitty OCD life upside down. Read all his articles, listen to his interviews, and start to heal.
Sorry if this is a bit much, but also I'm not sorry. OCD is not a chronic illness. You can do this. You will get better. Never give up. Never settle. And, I dare say it, never accept.
Love
mark | OCD |
I sometimes feel like doing plenty of evil deeds. I have a lot of imaginary arguments and fights with people that don't exist. My mind often tries to convince me others are shit. | aspergers |
Does anyone struggle with working out and building a routine - I don’t know if it’s just me or ADHD. It’s hard enough to force myself to go but I get bored doing anything and it makes me hate working out. I can never do things for more than ten minutes without having to quit and I can barely focus enough to figure out what I wanna do. Anyone else experience? Any tips for working out with ADHD to make it more enjoyable? My doctor said working out is great for ADHD I just can’t seem to get a routine and find motivation at the gym. | ADHD |
I am trying to find any patterns in peacock tailfeathers. Particularly if you look at the "eyes" on the tail and the spiral they form in.
[https://imgur.com/a/kPhLxei](https://imgur.com/a/kPhLxei) | aspergers |
When I was in school I was in special education was not very smart it turns out. And I always got pity but im not going to lie to you. I took advantage of it sometime. When I should have. I school they would pity me the teacher's always gave me special treatment. And I use to like to think I was manipulate them and I wanted the pity. But I was losing to myself to make myself feel better. And help my self esteem I was not actually smart enough to manipulate them. So I convinced myself I was. Because I was insecure and if you said anything to me I would start bawling my eyes out. But I liked to think this because I felt really bad about myself. And whated to feel smart sure I could manipulate them so I didn't get in trouble but that what's the extent of it. Nothing else because I felt they did see me like the other students they know I would never become anything. And I hated them for It so I thought that gave me the right to manipulate them. Dose that make me a bad person are what. Please don't say anything to cruel. | aspergers |
What am I doing here alive for literally no one and no reason? | depression |
Hallo,
Im highly interest in true crime.
But till now i found never someone who shared the same interest as i have or wanted to talk with me about it.
If you also interest in true crime and want to talk with me about it.
Can you send me a DM.
Hope to see you there!
🕵🏻♀️. | aspergers |
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