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I think a large part of my struggle with procrastination is that I get lost in the long list of pre-requisites that my brain will form before starting the project. It's to the point that "just writing everything down" is too daunting because I have to consider every single detail so that it can be just right. This is overwhelming so I end up delaying or not doing the work.
But I wonder if I had the same good-enough mindset that a lot of people have, I wouldn't fall into procrastination and just do the good-enough job and be done with the stupid task.
I try to tell myself 'Hey, you have one hour left to complete this. You can probably make it if you just do XYZ, let the details go, and be done," yet I'll still take the long, likely unnecessary route just to torture myself apparently.
Have you been successful at just forcing yourself to stop obsessing over perfection and just get by with the minimal? Please share any tips that you can offer. | ADHD |
Right now my mind is so focused on having a "routine" and it's been killing me because I can barely relax and enjoy myself. It is aggravating. Feels like someone else is here and I'm on a time limit. I already have a decent routine I follow btw.
Anyone else get like this?? It's hard to even do anything. | OCD |
If reading about a specific "pure OCD" resonated with you or made some sense to describe your situation, you might have it. You also might not, there's no way to know for sure unless you get diagnosed by a ***licensed OCD therapist***.
However, the good news is: *you don't need to know for sure in order to start treating yourself, healing and getting better*
Read that again: you. don't. need. to. know. for. sure.
How's that?
It's because the main OCD treatments (besides medication) are ERP, radical acceptance and mindfulness. All of those are non-invasive and safe methods (when done properly) that can be beneficial whether you have OCD or not.
There are a lot of good books and articles on OCD treatment, radical acceptance and mindfulness around, and there are a lot of good meditation apps to learn. For specifics, check out the pinned posts in the sub or ask in the comments for specific recommendations.
Even if you don't have OCD, those are good reads and practices that can improve your mental health significantly and contribute to making you a healthier happier person.
There's nothing to lose.
There's no good excuse to postpone it.
You don't have to seek multiple diagnoses by different doctors.
You don't have to figure anything out, actually you can't anyways.
***Start helping yourself today.***
Because there is no valid reason not to.
Don't let your brain bully you out of helping yourself.
If it roars up, just say "thanks for your concern, maybe you're right and I'm just * *insert any OCD fear* *, but I'll do this now anyways as there's no harm to it, i can only get better or stay in the same place"
*(obviously diagnosis and proper treatment by a licensed OCD therapist is the ideal procedure, but not everyone can afford it or has access to it. Furthermore, even people in therapy still hunt for the certainty and inhibit their own treatment over "not being sure" and come on reddit etc for reassurance, so this post also applies to those)* | OCD |
For me its my baseball cap, only time I take it off is when I'm going to bed. I'm really attached to it and can't imagine going a day without wearing it. Just doesn't feel right without it on. | aspergers |
I'm not diagnosed with anything, but i experience really sharp emotion. Like why did i just snap at that person that i love? Why am i always told i have a bad attitude? Idk if I'm just an asshole or if this is because I'm impulsive and have volatile emotions. Why do i feel like im drowning and panicking but then as soon as i put up my hair away from my face i suddenly can think more clearly? It seems so silly....
Am i just lazy and need to be more disciplined? Or am i depressed and unmotivated? Are my depressive symptoms Comorbid with ADHD? Is this executive dysfunction? Or is this all some joke im playing on myself after learning about adhd.
I'm really struggling to know what is real and what is projected, can any of you tell me your story? Did you feel like an imposter? What convinced you that you had ADHD? | ADHD |
Hello everyone, i had a question out of nowhere and my curiosity took me searching for answers. I saw a photo of a man who i adore for years and i never could have thought that this would remind me such awful thing. I thought about people who got in prison due to pedophilia and i hate them very very much. After that this question popped up on my head ''Is pedophilia genetic or a mental disorder?'' and i looked up for it. I was ready to learn it and told myself that whatever happens, it's just a nonsense thought has nothing with me. And when i read few things, i couldn't get a proper answer and left with a new suspicion that pointed at me. I had this suspicion before when i didn't know that was a thing because of ocd and i've proven myself i am not. In this world, i am not going to be one and i will always be the one strongly against it in anytime. But it hit me hard and i thought about it, ''Do i have things related to children? No!, Can i be one? Absolutely not!, How can i know this? ...I- don't know??''. The last question stuck in my mind and it took me far away from myself. I know this is all nonsense and is not real but the worry and suspicion left me with some sort of really discomforting, stressing, inhibiting kind of feeling in my mind and i can't think anymore. I couldn't realise the difference between reality and nonsense thoughts this time and i still can't get out of it because of this feeling. Time has stopped for me since then and my life stuck there with myself. Also while searching this, i learned about an another terrible thing called sleep sex. And I can't get these unrelated thoughts away from myself because i can't be sure!!! Please, help me. I want to go back to yesterday or disappear because it really is no way out this time and i can't get out! | OCD |
As the title says it I recently moved schools and my new school is full of people that constantly use the r word, I've told them its not cool they don't care at all and I have no idea how to proceed because there are some nice people that don't use it but I can't deal with constantly hearing ableist slurs every time I interact with them. Any advice is appreciated | aspergers |
I have a job I feel nothing toward, can’t connect with anyone, I have no real hobbies or interests, I have no prospects or hopes and dreams. I want to die but I am a coward and have no instant method (would prefer gun, but hard to get in Australia). I mostly mould my life around smoking weed as that creates some physiological purpose to strive for. How do you get through your day? How do you go to work and focus for hours at a time? How do you fucking do it and not want it to end at every single moment? | aspergers |
So I don’t know when this started but here it’s a bit of background.
I’m 20 and I’ve been practicing meditation for a while now. I’ve noticed as I have become more aware from meditating, I have became obsessed with the vibration of names, places and situations. This started by me comparing certain friends, family members to myself trying to find out the difference in vibration of us. This has then extended to everyone I know in life and even people I don’t know but know the name of (e.g. celebrities, people I used to go to school with, ex girlfriends etc.) Not only am I obsessing about names now I am also comparing vibrations between food, porn, different towns, pets etc. Maybe I am doing this see the influence different people, places, things vibrations have had on my current vibration in life idk 🤷♂️ Anyway it takes up most of my day. I can still function and get on with the tasks I need to do but names will always be repeating themselves in the back of my head whilst I am doing this. It doesn’t cause my anxiety or stress but I almost view it like a drug addiction. Once I have stated a name, I will compulsively and repeatedly state the same or different names, places and things until satisfied which is never. Like a drug addict never getting enough drugs to fulfil a craving 😂 I used to get like a tic when repeating this behaviour so when I’d think a name in my mind I would make the sound of the first initial of the name with my mouth. So if the name was Dan for example, I would “D” with my mouth almost making a drum snare sound 🥁 I do not do this now instead I just compare all the initials of the myself and the people I know in my mind (e.g. LG - Lucas G, AM - Andre M). I feel this is more of just an annoying habit than anything, it doesn’t cause me to freak out but it is timing consuming and I engage in it like an addiction.
I read up a lot about OCD last night and it only registered then that this may be OCD but I’m still unsure. Anyway I read up a lot about cures and how to overcome OCD as well and this is a plan I put together:
Letting Go Of OCD
EXPOSURE: Don’t resist the names, allow the thoughts to happen by accepting them as normal
Treat it like addiction: don’t feed into the names when they come about and overtime this will weaken the reinforcement loop.
It is only because you have built this in with repeated action on obsessing over the names that the OCD is stronger.
Like muscle memory: don’t obsess over the names, places and gradually this will build a new pattern in your brain that is detached from the obsession.
Anyway it would be much appreciated for everyone to share their thoughts and feelings with me on all of this, whether you have had any similar experiences and how you have managed to deal with or overcome it. I’m also interested to know whether meditation and my spiritual practises has had any influence of this experience. I wonder if this was the root cause of the “OCD”? Tell me your opinion on my plan as well. Many thanks 😊🙏
(Also I deleted social media sites Instagram and Snapchat as I believe this contributed to the OCD a lot) | OCD |
So I managed to stop compulsions today and I kind of felt free from the intrusive thoughts a bit but then I started ruminating and realised something. I’ve thought and looked up some really weird things (weird to a straight person), even the posts I’ve made, why would a straight person ask these things?!?! Now I’ve never enjoyed my thoughts but for the sake of testing I’ve done a lot of weird things and I’m just realising now how not straight I would look to most of the world if they saw what I thought and what I searched up, like what kind of a straight person am I if I look up “how to know if you’re bi” I know some straight people question in life but I’ve never been that person, those questions never entered my head and searching stuff like “false arousal to men” like what’s wrong with me, my life history is being soiled with all these compulsions I’m doing and there’s nothing wrong with being gay but what am I becoming, my HOCD hasn’t changed but my compulsions in the past are just making me feel like I shouldn’t even call myself an average straight person even though I haven’t been turned on by same sex things all the graphic things I’ve thought as a compulsion just makes me feel like shit. I want to reset my life, this isn’t how I wanted it to be. I’m really losing it man...like just...what am I even doing at this point? I’ve fallen so far | OCD |
I dealt with a simular issue is high school, but the lack of structure is making it way worse. This is going to be kinda bitter and heavy.
I try to create plans and systems: bedtime routine, time every week at library, to-do and reminders for homework, breaking goals down into day-by-day chucks. I just lose momentum nearly every time I want to achieve a goal. I want to create a healthy life and be productive because I hate doing nothing but I feel so strung out when I try. But I need an insane amount of stress to follow through with leads to a breakdown and depression that severely affects my ability to work. I've had to put off so many goals just to do poorly in college. I'm losing the ambitious part of myself (I never could complete anything but at least I wanted to try) to the cycle of stress, depression, and avoiding my responsibilities. Online school is not helping at all. I just struggle to complete work at a sensible pace. I am either stressed and am still behind but not adding to the pile OR I'm not as stressed and miss work. I don't know how to pick up the pieces to form a workable situation when I feel the weigh of all the work I am behind on. I waste the free time I get; with more free time, the more time I waste.
I've dug myself into a nightmare of hole of missing work and classes. I'm not failing yet because grades aren't put in, so it hasn't fully hit me yet. For every class I attend or every homework assignment I do, I miss/skip almost half. If I begin to fully comprehend the fallout (angry mother, losing scholarship, paying for extra or future classes in full, and pushing back my goal of transferring schools), I feel extremely stressed or pushed toward caring less.
The stress can be mind numbing. I feel like a shaken bottle of coke (which funny enough I wrote a poem about in middle school). The following depression is completely awful. It triggers my bipolar II, which is undermedicated because my psych sucks and I didn't ask for him to fix his mistake. Sometimes I feel can feel as trapped as I did in high school, expected to work until I explode. Everyone is like "time management" and "push through" and "find time for stress relief" and "college doesn't have to be as hard as you make it". Like, I just have to struggle until I can try it no longer and lose my utter mind. I don't know how to make them understand that I'm screaming for a solution because I don't know what to do.
My focus issues are not as bad as my chronic disorganization and lack of sustained motivation, which has screwed with my happiness and is now causing extreme stress. But I don't know what else to do beside wait for my medication to finally work and already try to get my life on track. I may not complete my goals but I have to remind myself to try.
I'm going to the library tomorrow because there is one class that I haven't completely bombed, maybe I can get more than expected done. I just feel trapped and all I can do is work at 50% to avoid burnout. I'm trying to seek accommodations and remind myself to be more self-compassionate, but it's disheartening to see myself freak out while other people seem to be a quarter as stressed. It was nice to write this all out, I need to remind myself that it's a process and now I'm in a shitty stage. I don't need to do good, I just need to cope.
Things I will try to use more: understanding when I can't complete an assignment, body doubling, go to library to work, BEDTIME same time every day, trying to do productive me-time (not just laying down and moping, but doing something I enjoy and allows me to use my brain. basically reengaging with my passions and hobbies), working out, and planning time with friends! Often I fail to use these tricks, but I still like to remind myself of them because sometimes I'll remember them and use them and prosper.
TL;DR College is hard and I'm complaining about it. I know I can get my life together one day, but I'm struggling now and that fucking SUCKS. | ADHD |
So, I just realized, at the age of 33, that all of the beatings and diatribes of "you selfish brat, i work my ass off and you cant even do your laundry!" etc have likely given me some form of PTSD. But i remember always intending to do what i was told and forgetting. Which resulted in the punishments. How do i move past that? How do i rewire a brain? | ADHD |
I keep having nightmares of my trauma. Sometimes things that did happen or things that didn’t but give me same feelings. I wake up with so much anxiety. I wake up feeling exhausted because the whole time I was sleeping I was being tormented by my thoughts. It’s like I go to bed to have a long anxiety attack. How do I stop my nightmares. I have no idea what to do about this. I just want to have some peace and move on but I can’t. | ptsd |
I should probably mention first off that I also have asergers but it is very light, I was also diagnosed at 3 and went through special education and stuff so I don't have issues with it anymore, ofcourse I am now back in main stream education and have been for years.
There is this guy I had crushed on for ages and recently we were put into a class together due to poor management by college lecturers and stuff like that for a day, near the end of the day we started talking and he kept getting super excited because he noticed I would do things that he would aswell, he has opened up to me and told me that he got bullied and was very isolated because of his aspergers growing up so he hadn't really met anyone who would have the same things, like an example is that I tend to clap my hands when I get excited and he does the exact same thing.
I got his discord and we have been talking for about 2 days now and I'm really worried about how I approach this, I am very certain he does like me and want to talk, he will usually ask if I want to talk to him later and will engage in conversation with me over text and seems to enjoy it.
The thing is though he has only been diagnosed 2 years ago, meaning all of the stuff I have been given to deal with my aspergers isn't something he really has and you can tell, he doesn't sit on chairs properly and will randomly say things that are only partially related to conversation although those are just examples and I do not mind him doing either thing, the big issue comes from social skills.
He can talk fine that isn't the problem it's more that he is really introverted, he usually only texts me during college because he doesn't have much else to do, but outside of it he won't really text me, really is the keyword because he will reply just not very often at all, like maybe one or two a day and he is like never online.
Again he does often ask if we can talk and uses smiling emojos aswell so I'm pretty sure he enjoys it and is just hurt from all the bullying he has had.
People in my college class were actually making fun of him for being how he is so I ended up shouting and getting really pissed off at them for doing that and I did end up mentioning that to him, all he said was that he really appreciated it but I imagine that's part of aspergers and it means more to him than he let's on, especially because straight after he told me about his past with people doing that to him.
I'm probably going to be seeing him in person again on Monday because on my breaks I go to the same place he does and I'm a little nervous about that because I don't know how I should react when he does go there, like I don't want to ignore him but he is usually with one of his friends and I also don't want to invade his privacy.
I'm sorry this probably comes across as super ranty but I have a lot of emotions for him and really worry about doing something wrong that could hurt the relationship between us, so some advice and opinions would be so nice right now. | aspergers |
Just as it says. I am so tired of being depressed going on 4 years now. I just want to feel better | depression |
I'm going to preface this by saying that I have never been diagnosed with OCD, but from reading the posts on this subreddit I've found that I struggle with a lot of the same issues as people with OCD. Sometime in the future I hope to seek proper diagnosis so that I can figure out how to tackle my mental health difficulties.
I've been especially struggling with this during the last few days, but my brain seems to cycle through these patterns of being fixated on a certain memory or a certain topic and I'll find myself ruminating over it uncontrollably. Even if my mind is focused on something else, the theme of my fixations is still lurking in the background. It repeats until my brain finds something new to obsess over and the cycle repeats. Sometimes the themes repeat, too. It gives me this vague uncomfortable, uneasy feeling, if I had to describe it. Sometimes I would have full blown anxiety over this stuff, to the point where I would have trouble sleeping and would regularly wake up in the middle of the night and find that my brain is still thinking about the themes of my obsessions while I was asleep. So inconvenient. But it's gotten easier as I've tried to strive towards acceptance. It's helped to bring myself to a point where I know there's no logical reason to let my worries get the best of me.
However, sometimes I fixate on "positive" things that bring me joy, but being unable to think about anything else makes even enjoyable daydreaming suck. Like, I'll find myself getting obsessed with a person (like a crush or a celebrity) or a movie/TV show I just watched and I just have to loop through thoughts about it until my brain gets tired and moves onto something else. I'm aware of maladaptive daydreaming disorder, and I've been browsing Internet communities about that for several years and I definitely relate to that.
I want to know how to actually cope with this, because whenever I'm stuck on a certain theme it just seems so, so difficult to focus on anything else. I am trying to practice mindfulness, in a way, by doing my best to not pay attention to the obsessions and just let them pass so that they have less of a grip on me. Looking back, my entire life has just been this experience of mentally cycling through obsessions and fixations. I might also have ADHD, which I think would best explain why I can't focus on anything else besides this. Sorry if I'm kind of just venting, but the feeling of being stuck on a thought and continually coming back to it despite trying to live life normally is so painful and I really wish I could even imagine what life would be like without this discomfort. | OCD |
i’ve experienced hocd and all that but then when i started to not care about it, i’ve doubting my dream goal, my dream goal before ocd was to fall in love and get married and i still want it, it happened when i was thinking about being happy and being in love again until a “what if i don’t want it?” and it really freaked me out! and i’m sat here reassuring myself telling myself “no you want love! you want romance” like it’s reassurance and any time i see anything romantic i test to see if i like it, even though i’ve always been a big hopeless romantic, i’ll try and listen to love songs and feel the love but now i’m like what if i don’t want it anymore and i’m scared to not want it? like i’m scared if in the future i won’t want it and i’m really fucking scared, i don’t wanna be like that, i wanna fall madly but safely in love with someone, i’ve been in love before but now i’m scared i don’t want it or if it’s changed, i don’t want it to have changed and for the past 2 days i’ve been obsessing other whether or not it’s changed and i’m just ugh, annoyed at myself. | OCD |
I work in tech and my job is to design and build infrastructure 'stuff'. Sometimes I'm asked to do essentially the *wrong* thing in order to just 'get the work done'. Lots of times there are things that won't work as required or need a lot more diligence done to make them supportable than what is proposed. This stuff has this paralyzing effect that causes me to spiral into despair and prevents me from starting, much less completing the work. How is it that others can just execute without any concern for the downstream consequences? | aspergers |
Narcissists are too weak or unable to face their irrationality, intellectual laziness, and spiritual ugliness.
Everybody can suffer from the fallibility and we need to tackle our own issues; however, what makes narcissists different from healthy-minded people is that they make others fight their battles through projections, protective identifications and the like.
When victims are being abused, they feel helpless and there's no exit. They should feel that way because they are fighting someone else's battles they can never win. Abusers embody their intrapsychic issues in a form of abuse and make victims (and sometimes witnesses and bystanders) believe they are interpersonal issues.
I just need to run, stay away or set strong boundaries from abusers because there's no way/responsibility for me to fix their issues. | ptsd |
I’ll obsess/ruminate all day over the same things for months, nonstop, which is obviously a cause of my OCD, not ME. Then my OCD will say something like “why are you thinking about this all the time? It’s like it’s all you care about, you must care about this more than God.” Or something like that. Like I’ve said on this subreddit before my biggest obsession is me trying to figure out the difference between fictional and real magic because for some reason my OCD one day decided to question if God would be ok with fictional magic, which of course He is, but it’s made me obsess and play stuff like Harry Potter or LOTR in my head all day over and over so I can feed the OCD monster. And my OCD has the nerve to tell me IM obsessed with those things? And that I worship them/care about them more than anything else? I swear these thoughts aren’t me. This is actually getting more and more ridiculous every day | OCD |
I feel like depression is reality. The way life is made up. | depression |
Anyone have know songs about autism that speak to them? While I’m not 100% sure that this one is about aspergers, the lead singer has been diagnosed. This song has gotta be, right?
https://youtu.be/giKCK_aiVYU | aspergers |
I've spent the last few months researching ptsd, trying to figure myself out (I'm not diagnosed, I only SUSPECT I have ptsd) and the events required for something to be traumatic are usually listed as things such as death, accident or abuse. That leaves me with a weird situation, trauma symptoms but the trauma event doesn't fit the definition.
I have read a bit about how autistic people can be traumatised by minor things, so I was wondering if that could be the case with me.
​
I'd like to ask my mother if I can get screened for ptsd (after the whole 'situation' is over, and once I get enough courage to ask) and I'd rather avoid making a fool out of myself for trying to claim something minor as ptsd when it could be general anxiety disorder. I know she already doesn't take my feelings on the event seriously at all (which I feel contributed to the situation)
​
I'll summarise the event in question (to the best of my ability, my memory is pretty blank and distorted for this) **TW: medical**
About 4-6 years ago (I don't know when exactly, I was maybe 10 years old?) I had to go for a blood test, prior to this, I already had anxiety around injections but it was reasonably manageable. I don't remember the order of events, or anything that was said for the most part. My mother says the doctor was rude (I don't remember her being rude necessarily.) I remember her tying something around my arm (tourniquet?? sth similar) and explaining butterfly needles, she started drawing blood which I think triggered a meltdown in me because I started freaking out. I think my memory is distorted here, but I feel like my mother and brother were laughing at me, yelling at me to suck it up and calm down, that it wasn't so bad. The doctor started threatening me, saying she would get security to pin me to the ground so she could forcefully draw my blood. I don't remember what happened after, I think my mom repeated that same threat as well.
​
This event feels traumatic to me, but according to the DSM-5, it isn't. I'd like some clarification
Sorry this post is so long | ptsd |
My intrusive existential thoughts are logically impossible, but I think my OCD is trying to convince me that they can be real and that our logic cannot tell us the truth (or hide it from us). And I'm not even sure my doubts are due to OCD, which scares me even more.
**Is this due to OCD? What can I do to see the truth about my thoughts clearly?** | OCD |
Some days I feel like what's it even worth when I can't even achieve the goals I've set, I'm always getting interrupted and pulled away from my own things, I'm always getting sucked dry because life bullshit. Sometimes I just wanna lay in bed and just give up trying to live anymore. | ptsd |
This is an aspect of (or of relation to) OCD that I do not believe I have ever seen discussed here and it is, for me personally, one of the most crippling aspects of my condition and the related problems I experience.
This is something that, independent of knowing that there was a term for it and that it was often associated with OCD, I had discussed with Psychologists and Doctors before, however, it was not until I myself became deeply interested in Neuroscience and Psychology - and had enough knowledge to fully understand a lot of material - that I ever came across the concept of pathological slowness and/or obsessive/obsessional slowness and it's relationship with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
I found that very interesting because I have always had professionals draw a blank on why even things unrelated to my compulsive behaviour seem to take me far longer than the average person. For example, I find myself taking an hour to get out of bed, 50 minutes to get dressed, walking incredibly slowly, needing explicit instructions to often feel compelled to do things, getting "locked" with facial expressions (usually a very flat expression or an open mouth), talking very slowly and generally exhibiting an all encompassing slowness that greatly irritates many people, including myself, despite not being particularly mentally deficient.
Reading further, it seems as if the manifestations of pathological slowness have been observed and discussed but that the exact cause is quite speculative and treatment of the behaviour is not easy because it is not well understood or even rigidly defined. Moreso, it seems that differentiation from compulsions and from hypokinesia are made and this is what is left over.
Not being able to find casual discussion of pathological slowness among OCD sufferers, despite this being where it was first obsevered and where it is commonly found, my question is whether anybody else experiences what they or another might consider as "pathological slowness" and how this manifests and impacts upon their life?
Thank you very much. | OCD |
I have a giant ass project about art history in school, we have to pick an artist and do a ton of work about them, I picked Correggio because I was 1 off from getting da Vinci in the lottery we did. I have to do 100 notecards about him weather they be about his life, painting, one specific painting. There is not enough credible sources that tell different enough stories, he’s just not well known enough. Couple that with the fact that I can’t do stressful work and you have a recipe for a literally impossible assignment
I explained to my mom that this assignment is actually impossible to do and her only response was “just do the work” like did the snotty old bitch not hear what I said? It 👏 is 👏 impossible 👏 | aspergers |
A few OCD specialists whose IG posts are so helpful:
@jenna.overbaugh
@aimees_ocd_journey
@treatmyocd
@kimberleyquinlan
@obsessivelyeverafter
@anxietyocdtreatment
@obsessivecompulsivetreatment | OCD |
what if somehow, the universe creates consciousness in which we are sufferning eternally and there is nothing we can do about it?
its a very scary thought? | OCD |
For most of my life dating never worked out for me no matter how hard I tried. I never even got a foot in the door. Just a bunch of no's. Part of the reason was my aspergers and another part was I was sexually abused as a child by an adult woman. The abuse made me feel ashamed to explore my interest in girls and I was afraid of them. up until I was 24 I was extremely shy around women. But despite that I did everything I could to put myself out there and improve. I understood at the time that the failures were my own and no one was obligated to like me. However as time passed and the no's piled up, the feeling of rejection and sexual frustration was twisting me up inside. A began to feel bitter towards people in general for various reasons, but with regards to dating I became bitter towards women. I came to the realization that i was being rejected because I was disabled and sexually abused as a child. As these conditions made me shy and socially inadequate. It wasn't until I was 24 that I decided to get it over with a one night stand. It did alleviate a good deal of the psychological tension I felt due to being a virgin. I then got into a relationship shortly after with a loving and understanding woman. It has helped me quell the intensity of my anger. However I can't seem to shake it off completely. I believe it's because I still have the desire to further explore dating experience and because I feel like my teenage/young adult hood were taken from me.
In this post I wanted to say the truth about my experience and hopefully pull from the wisdom of other people in similar situations. I am attempting to come out of my resentment but I'm having trouble letting it go | aspergers |
So just yesterday I was diagnosed with GAD and OCD. I’m being put on the lowest dose of Effexor for now.
I’m super nervous to take it after reading the side affects. My obsession at the moment is a fear of psychosis/schizophrenia and I read a rare side affect of Effexor is psychosis or paranoia.
I know that I should take it but I’m so terrified of taking it and inducing psychosis in myself.
Has anyone taken Effexor for their OCD before? If so can share what your experience was like and if the side affects are as bad as my mind is making them to be? | OCD |
I've been taking 2 20mg a day for 3 months now. I have found the medication to be extraordinarily helpful with my ADD but now I find food revolting. I'm not really losing weight, I've lost some but nothing major. I find I can tolerate semi sweet things like waffles with chocolate chips or fruit. I've always been keener on sweet rather than savory but trying to eat anything savory has been a big struggle. I didn't eat much before taking the medication. I've never really been able to clear a plate unless im absolutely loving the meal, even with sweet stuff. Now I don't know what to eat without gaging. My paranoia is starting to make me think I'm either going to starve to death or get scurvy! Any advice would be truly appreciated! | ADHD |
Sometimes the thought still crosses my mind
Of how easy it would be
The temptation of a sweet release has become an old friend to me
Yet temptation is all that it can ever be
For I have a life that calls me
And it expects me to stay
It expects me to stay.
.
For even on my darkest day
I still have responsibility
And if I were to leave this place
Then a darker place it would be
I do my best in my own way
To improve the lives of those around me
And I must make the choice today
To practice what I preach.
.
Even though this is what I tell myself
And others all around me
It seems I need some major help
For I find it impossible to believe.
I feel the path my soul is on
It leads straight down to hell
It feels too hard to carry on
Even though I'm doing well.
.
I'm better than I've ever been
And life only looks up
Yet comparing myself from now to then
Only makes me feel more stuck
It only serves as a reminder
That even after all these years
I'm still depressed and suicidal
And I still don't want to be here. | depression |
Wristbands. They're just mesmerizing, everyone in my family knows, infact I'm wearing 3 right now. I don't mean bracelets, I hate those... The things you get for a concert. I go roller skating a lot because it's my other special interest and I always get wristbands there. My sister's and my parents give me theirs too! Longest I've ever had one was 7 months. I've gotten close to beating it but I always screw it up. I'm terrified of handles and things that can rip them! I've cried many times about losing them. Sorry I didn't use any exclamation points! I hate when I only use periods. But, of course, if I use one in 2 sentences in a row I'll hate myself even more! I'm stuck in an endless loop. Alright, last sentence, I'll go back and fix my no exclamation point problem now. Ok one more sentence, I've fixed the exclamation point thing mostly. Sorry I keep typing, I'm mad that I had to go back and do that because I hate when people don't use exclamation points! Ok I'll post it now. Maybe I won't though, I've got math homework to do and I hate my teacher she's annoyingly insensitive to everything. She just doesn't care what happens! She's a fine teacher, I just don't like her as a human. I've been thinking about going to advanced math, but the teacher there is rude and strict. That's what I've heard at least. I qualify completely and if I checked the box thing in my elective choice and advanced classes thing then I'd be in it. I would also be in advanced science, advanced civics, and advanced language arts. Sorry, I'm ranting! I do that a lot. Once I start typing or talking I just never stop. Right, math homework. I'm putting this sentence here so I don't get mad that I don't have enough exclamation points! Well that wasn't an excited sentence now I think I'm lying to you. Ugh, that didn't help! There we go that was an angry sentence and meets my requirements for an exclamation point. Ok, sorry I'm ranting again. | aspergers |
Im so tired of this I'm literally always cleaning and decluttering my room but no matter how much I throw away or how much space I get I am still a slave to constantly decluttering my room. Any tips on how to stop this? I waste like 99% of my free time on this and avoid all my hobbies or anything else that actually makes me happy. I just want to literally throw all my stuff away. | OCD |
So back last year (I was 16) I remember at my church there was a girl I thought was cute. She was anywhere from 11-15. I never thought of her in a sexual way I just thought she was cute. But now that is tormenting me and I keep getting sexual intrusive images that suck. It’s even worse since I did find her cute on top of all that | OCD |
I’m moving and the past couple days I had to tear my entire room apart for today to get it repainted. everything was all over the place and I found a spot on my floor the other night and thought it was mold and had a panic attack bc I thought I was going to die from it after reading black mold can cause bleeding in your lungs. After that, I felt like everything was contaminated from it in my room even my shoes that I walked over it with. Eventually I showered and slept on the couch downstairs and got a beautiful 3 and 1/2 hours of sleep or something like that with my cat waking me up every 10 minutes. Today my room got painted and it’s finished now so like an hour ago I cleaned everything up just now but still feel so dirty and still feel like everything is contaminated in some way especially bc of the dust. My clean clothes got dust on them as well from the painters so I ended up throwing them in the wash even though I just did the other day as well as my bedsheets and everything else cloth in my room. Moving is fucking horrible and nobody around really understands how my OCD and anxiety affect me. By the way people treat me about it I feel almost childish for thinking the way that I do and I wish I could just function like a normal person without these issues. I feel like everything I touch is going to kill me. I wash my hands until they bleed and I wipe everything I own down with disinfectant wipes every time it feels “dirty”. I keep telling myself that all I’m doing is complaining and being an asshole about everything for no reason because everybody just tells me to relax but I can’t help it. On top of that I really hate my living situation rn and the only “safe” feeling place mentally I have is my room and now it’s just not the same and it doesn’t feel like home to me. I just wish someone could understand me so I don’t feel like a dumbass. This brings me so much anxiety so if anyone has any suggestions on how to cope with this or at least related please just leave a comment. I just want to know I’m not crazy, I feel so alone in this. | OCD |
It's been horrible for me. I have a lot of different rituals and checking things I have to do or else I just can't sleep, but these things are so much that it's like hours I'd be up.
My therapist wants me to try my best to start working on this but I'm terrified because I know I'll end up with anxiety all night. Has anyone gone through this? I've considered trying it cold turkey and taking the suffering full force, but I don't know. | OCD |
I think about what happened every day, but I don't think I have flashbacks whenever I think about it. I'm pretty sure I only have flashbacks every few weeks for a few days. However, if I think about it for too long then that'll trigger a flashback. | ptsd |
Worry about them going through the same thing? And worrying that you’re either not going to be able to stop it, or else worry that you’re going to be so overbearing and overprotective that you’re going to mess them up that way? This is a real fear of mine that I think about probably more than I think about my trauma | ptsd |
As the title suggests, does anybody here have any personal experience with such a case?
*For those uninterested in the backstory, it’s not relevant to answer my question anyways so don’t feel bad about skipping the next paragraph:
Without delving too much into personal nonsense, I’ve been unsuccessfully managing my ADHD via various private agencies for just under a decade now. During this time my symptoms have only continued to get worse despite the many medication adjustments. Through the countless hours I’ve spent reading online and (admittedly, rarely) from books, I always seem to end up ‘connecting the dots’ with frontal lobe damage being the possible cause of a variety of symptoms (which seem too perfect to not be connected in some way).
I’m aware this is too great an assumption to base any of my real life decisions on, please be aware that I’ll still speak to my doctor before doing anything even vaguely medical.
Thanks all! | ADHD |
Has anyone ever had the obsession over being depressed because of your ocd? It seems like me obsessing over being depressed has been on my mind a lot more and it’s mentally draining because it’s always on my mind, it’s the first thing I think about when I wake up. | OCD |
I want to run from it all. I feel so completely disconnected... time doesn't even feel real; and my emotions spiral out of control whenever I feel them at all.
I have it all- a loving family, good friends, a stable job, a decent car that is paid off, a home that I purchased with my significant other earlier this year, and minimal debt otherwise. I'm not happy, though. I don't know who the hell I really am. I don't know why I chose the things I do. I feel like it's all a fraud to make everyone around me happy; and I don't even know what would make ME happy.
I feel like I don't even know my TRUE self.... but how could I possibly back out of it all?...
I have these urges to just run away. I want to just pack up and leave. But how could I? How DARE I?
I don't know what to freaking do. I constantly feel so lost. The only time I feel truly happy now is when I sit in my car before or after work; alone. It's the only time I feel true comfort and peace. I dread going to work, I dread going home, and I dread any other outing or social event.
I feel like I have no true identity, just a fake ass personality that I display for every person in my life accordingly.
How do I carry on? | depression |
So I have ADHD and I think I may have autism but a thing I do which really causes me a lot of problems is repeating thoughts in my head. Like I repeat things that I have to remember over and over again and I take nootropics to help me with my mood but I'm constantly going over all of the nootropics I take over and over in my head, listing them all in my mind. I don't even know if they are doing anything or I'm just afraid if I stop taking them then something bad will happen.
It's like if I forget to take them or count them. It's so frustrating It's like my head will go "you need to take this much of this and then you need to take some magnesium because it does this for you and it's very beneficial" but then it will repeat this thought over and over and over again so I don't forget it.
Like fucking hell it's so draining. Then I ruminate about the amount of money I've spent on all these stupid things I brought and then I start repeating all the costs and how I could have brought this instead and then that will start repeating in my head. It's so LIFE CONSIMING AHHHHH. Pls someone help me understand this because I feel like I'm losing my mind. | OCD |
I (30f) have been with my partner (31m) for close to 2 years now. We have generally been happy and good for each other. He is wonderful to me and with my daughter. I love him in ways I never thought I could love anyone.
Lately my mental health has been suffering a lot. I was diagnosed with PTSD 11 years ago and have been in and out of therapy and on several different medications. I was in an okay spot when we met and for the first year or so of our relationship. I am not anymore.
We experienced an (unplanned but not unwanted) pregnancy 2 months ago that turned out to be ectopic. I had a painful miscarriage and a slew of health problems following it and the emotional toll for both of us has been immense. He has also moved recently and been going through personal changes with that. I have had turmoil in my immediate family lately and tons of financial stress. Things have been hard all around.
Lately I have been so so angry. I feel like I am struggling to control my emotions and my reactions. I am consumed by negativity. I know I am not treating him right. The smallest thing will blow up into an argument that will last for days. I know that he is struggling too and I don't know how to help. I feel rejected at every little thing. I am constantly afraid of him abandoning me and I am pushing him away (oh the irony). I don't mean to but I can't stop. I am so mean. I am so angry. I don't sleep much anymore. Everything is triggering. One of my "anniversaries" is coming up and I honestly can't cope. I feel like I'm falling apart.
I am not currently in therapy but I am trying to be. I am on a few waiting lists.
We had an argument the other day that started over a movie and escalated into something ridiculous because of me. I am not a good person. No one deserves to have to put up with me much less the love of my life.
I feel like he doesn't understand and like he resents me and I get it. Should I just leave and spare him any more misery? The thought hurts my heart.
Sorry if this is vague and all over the place. I am not having a good night.
TLDR: I am suffering and it's hurting my relationship. I'm starting to think that I should leave to spare him further pain. | ptsd |
something has happened to me practically ended my world. i can’t stop crying for several days now, i cry every 20 minutes. and my room feel strange. feels like i do everything unconsciously and there are minutes when i don’t know who i am. | depression |
Hello,
I'm currently suffering from Harm-OCD related to rape and molestation; I just wanted to ask if anyone has these hyperreal feeling physical sensations when you get triggered by some intrusive thoughts? Sometimes, if I see a girl walk right past me, I'll get the thought of me putting my face into her breasts. The weird thing is that my face will begin to 'mimic' the sensation of that occurring, like if my face IS in their breasts. Similarly, if I walk behind a girl, I might get thoughts of me putting my hands into their pants or onto breasts, and as a result, my hands will feel like it's clenching something or going ... somewhere.
I've managed to deduce that these thoughts are clearly not what I want since they are very stressful experiences, so I don't panic when I get them. But they are still unsettling nonetheless.
Anyways, thanks for reading! | OCD |
Maybe I can get some advice.
My girlfriend who is my ex now I guess, has PTSD from childhood trauma, neglect, abuse and loss.
She is pregnant with my child and about 7-8 weeks in. She has been having bad stomach pains and fatigue.
For the first part of our relationship we were perfect. Then one day she just 180 degree changed.
Since then we have been rocky. She doesn't communicate and it's like pulling teeth to get her to Express herself in anyway except anger and lashing out.
Well she left me and moved back in with her ex that she has a child with.
She didnt tell me, she just took all her stuff and left.
I tried to be really supportive and be the best I could for her.
Her ex is abusive emotional and physically. Why choose him over me. I know her other child is there fulltime but she could spend time with him whenever she liked.
Idk.... | ptsd |
I was taking a low dose of ritalin, 18mg slow release, I upped it to 36mg with my psychiatrist. Its good for work, but I feel pretty wired..like I pound through my working day like a machine, then finish work, start cooking dinner for the kids and I just feel like I'm looking for something to take the edge off me.
I'm a Brit, so we have a pretty euro approach to booze. I often have a glass of wine with my dinner and often a few drinks with friends at the weekend. I partied pretty hard when younger, but don't drink that much these days and haven't ever considered myself to have any kind of substance problem. Over the last few years I often have long periods of not drinking at all for various reasons... But since the medication increase, I'm like "right, work done! Now I need something to relax me!"... because relaxation doesn't feel like it going to happen spontaneously...and I'm sleeping less, just going to bed later.. Does anyone else experience this? I like the effect of the drug on my productivity, it's literally a game changer for me, but not if it drives me to smashing booze, substances or something just so I can slow down and sleep. | ADHD |
Hello Everyone. Just wanted to post my story for general information. I claimed PTSD on July 19th and had my exam on the 30 of Jul. I submitted CAR, duty station( minesweeper Bahrain), article of personnel getting blown up, eval stating combat proven leader. So I had 10 percent for adjustment disorder anxiety, so they gave me 30 percent with GAD. I feel blessed to get that and I am not complaining. I had the same contractor from VES for both exams. I believe she wants me to see a doctor. I know some win without seeing one and some have too. So make sure that if you can see one please take the time o do it. My claim took about 37 days from beginning to increase. I hope you the best on your journey. | ptsd |
Basically I’ve dealt with this for a long time. I’m kinda coming out on the other side but still have worries. Stress Response is basically how your brain automatically reacts to stress. So today something really triggered me. I tried to see if I could work through it but like usual I couldn’t. I basically have been sitting in my room all day.
I don’t have a support system so if I can’t help myself I don’t get anything done. Also have trouble with impulse control probably cause of my OCD going out of control. I feel like I’m sorta in the healing phase but it’s not what I thought. I don’t know if people still get triggered after healing. So curious on people’s experiences. | ptsd |
My son is 11 and I love him to death but I struggle with his struggles. I can't relate and I want to and have more empathy his way.
I have been searching for a book or web site or some other resource recommendations I can take on me to help me help him to do his best.
I love him and I think too often I hurt him because I don't understand. I don't want that to be the case any longer. | ADHD |
I also have ADHD so I fucked up and started abusing ketamine at my 20's. I did like 4 or 3 grams overall but when I had some ketamine I couldn't control myself and I was snorting like one gram in just two days. So.. heavy doses. The thing is that I've read that ketamine damages your brain and I think it damaged mine because I noticed that sometimes when someone is talking to me I forget what they were talking about and my memory itself is worse than before. I am afraid I won't be able to study veterinary because you have to be smart to be a doctor right? I am afraid that I won't be able to be a good doctor. Please help me. What do I do? Should I forget about studying and start a normal job? Should I keep trying? I was the smartest of my class and now I think I have an average IQ or even less. Moreover I began thinking about thinking OMG it makes it worse. Also I am afraid that I have some psychotic symptoms because ummm I feel strange. I have strange moments where I can't even think. It's like my brain stops. Help | OCD |
I'm on two anti depressants lexapro and well butrin. I go to therapy every other week. I have even quit my job and given all my responibilities over to my boyfriend to create a stress free enviroment. I am still miserable and want to kill myself dailty. I wake up and I'm unhappy. I go about my day and everything pisses me off. The literal only thing that I have found to make any difference is weed and booze but I am starting to not feel anything from them anymore. I'm running out of options and dont' know what else to do. | depression |
so... we know that part of healing is to let yourself feel your emotions instead of suppressing them. but what if you're not in a safe space to do so? how can i help myself then? | depression |
After months of making progress, tonight I slipped and double-checked (hit and run OCD). I was going to make a post asking for advice on dealing with this, because I am terrified of relapsing/losing control again- but I decided to post this instead.
One bad day does not undo your progress. All the hard work you have done is still there.
Double-checking tonight brought me no comfort. All I did was replace the fear of hitting someone with the fear of relapsing. For whatever reason tonight, my brain was able to convince me that checking once would be 'no big deal' that it would be 'one and done'. Tonight I am reminded that is just one of OCD's many, many lies.
I'm not going into tomorrow with negative progress; I'm going in better prepared. | OCD |
So I am on my first week of 10mg Adderall XR. How did you figure out what the correct dose for you was? Like, how did you find the sweet spot, so to speak? Of course, I am going to talk to my doctor about it, but I was hoping I could get some first-hand experiences of what it feels like to be on the correct dose.
I feel the effects even at a low dose. My hands are a little shaky, I have more energy, and an elevated mood. It is helping me with my focus to a certain degree, but I still get distracted pretty easily, and starting certain tasks still takes more effort than I would like it to. I mean I am focusing better, but I think I was hoping for a little more. I just don't want to up the dose unless it will help with my ADHD. I'm worried if we up the dose I will just get shakier, and like higher basically, without any benefit to my actual ADHD symptoms. | ADHD |
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and treatment and meds have vastly improved my life. But One thing that hasn’t really changed, and that I would like to change, is that o constantly worry about God. I’m not 100% sure it’s ADHD related but given how most of my other problems are I figure it probably is.
I worry that God doesn’t exist and I’m wasting my time worrying about them. I worry God does exist and is judging me harshly for my doubts and my being too afraid of people to go to church (I had an awful religious upbringing and now I can’t even stand to be at churches I know are healthy communities). Or I worry that Buddhism is true and I’m causing myself suffering by not meditating.
I am probably causing myself suffering my not meditating. But it’s kind of boring and hard to stick with. :p
I know there are religions besides Christianity and Buddhism but frankly I’m lucky I don’t think about those. If I thought about them too much I’d just worry about those religions too.
I could go on. I’ve tried to solve the problem with reason. But I’m just not that rational a person and rational arguments don’t convince me. I’ve tried to have faith but… I don’t know how to actually do that. How do people have faith?
I would like to never think about God or religion again, or if I do, think of them with the same detachment I think of ancient religions with. Jesus and Zagreus in the same thought. Not even be an atheist because that’s giving it too much thought.
I would like to just not care.
But I’m worried about making a mistake.
tl;dr Can’t sleep, God will eat me.
Does anyone have any insights? Or have dealt with similar intractable obsessions?
Okay I’m going to drive this out if my mind with creepypasta readings and video games so I can sleep. Will check thread in morning. Ttyl. | ADHD |
The past couple of weeks have been really hard for me. I’ve been so fixated on my past mistakes and terrified that I’ve ever upset, hurt, or left a bad impression with anyone. My brain has been constantly reminding me that no matter how much kinder/ more understanding/ empathetic I get I’ll never be able to undo the past and therefore will never really be better. It’s been killing me. I feel like I don’t deserve happiness, but what is life without happiness?
Anyway, I have been getting home from work and going straight to bed or some for of escapism, but today I cleaned my bathroom, actually brushed my hair, picked up my room, and did some laundry.
It’s no great feat, but it’s more normal then I’ve been in a while.
I still am panicking and feel worthless, but taking care of myself makes me feel a little less gross. | OCD |
Hi guys!
So recently I have come to a conclusion that there is a pretty good chance that I have ADHD. I've started thinking that after my sister told me that her psychiatrist had told her that she thought my sister had ADHD (and then my sister told me that she also thought our mom had ADHD so if that's correct I guess it could make sense that I also have it).
Here are some of the symptoms that I have noticed:
1) First and foremost, ever since high school I have thought that I have some language disability because I really struggle with articulating my thoughts and every time I have to tell a coherent story my brain just freezes and I start rambling (my family and friends always joke that I am a terrible storyteller because I always get lost in my thoughts and the story that could be told in two minutes lasts ten minutes. In addition to that, I have also always thought that I am simply not eloquent and that that was the reason for my everyday communication problems.
I have also noticed that sometimes I start telling a story and I just abruptly think of something else and I just start talking about that thing instead, completely forgetting about my original story.
2) It has gotten harder and harder to listen to my friends and pay attention when they are telling me something (to the point where I have started wondering if I was a bad friend because I was so self-involved that I was unable to pay attention to my friends)
3) I struggle a lot with binge eating, especially eating out of boredom. Also I am very impulsive with spending money (there was a point in my life where I completely unnecessary bought four hair brushes in a really short period od time. My friends also joke that capitalism could survive if it was just me buying stuff lol). And just in general, I have zero self control in anything I do. My family has often complained that I'm lazy and selfish, only doing stuff that I find enjoyable.
4) I have no everyday structure and I really suck at organizing and planning my day to day life. That's why I mostly resort to being extremely passive. I never feel motivated enough for really anything in my life, although I do find a lot of stuff interesting.
And here comes the part that is bothering me:
a couple of months ago, I started seeing a psychiatrist because I struggled with anxiety (to the extent that sometimes I was afraid to leave my house) and a lot of insecurities and just a total lack of self-confidence. She diagnosed me with F41.3, which is something called Other mixed anxiety disorders. She also said that I have subdepression. I was really confused by that and to this day I still don't know what that really means because it's so unspecific. And I guess that to me it only enhances the idea that I have ADHD because I have also read that ADHD often gets mixed up with anxiety and depression.
I am really worried that she will simply disregard my feelings and will think that I am just seeking attention.
Could you give me advice on what would be the best approach to take?
Thank you in advance :) | ADHD |
Getting now intrusive thoughts about my father its a nightmare but I feel shit from it does that mean I secretly want this? I want to die. | OCD |
Hi, so I’ve struggled with the severe fear of vomiting for about 10 years now. The last 2 years it has really been at its peak. Now I’ve always had ocd, but this OCD is something else. I was my hands 40 times a day, avoid meats, wash all my produce, throw things out even if they are out 15 minutes to long, constantly read reviews about restaurants I’m going to, I eat chips with chopsticks just to avoid hand to food contact; cause you know. Germs. It is literally impossible to ever relax because you never know when you are going to vomit or if you picked up a virus. It’s all a sick waiting game and I hate it. | OCD |
I have been dealing with severe depression and OCD for about 2 and a half years this week. My depression started as a tiny sprout when I first entered high school and grew slowly over the years. My OCD was not in the picture yet - or at least - not to the point of overwhelming me. My OCD is related to wanting to be clean. This does not only refer to germs and microbes. This also includes avoiding anything that touches the ground, dirt, mud, highly chemical products like bug spray, and viscous fluids like motor-related oil and products. The smell of gasoline itself is nauseating enough to induce a small panic attack. Same thing if I were in a room that someone just doused with bug spray. Anyway, the main point I am trying I make is that these issues have been rooted deep in me and have developed for a long time. It was only two years ago that I seemed to have finally lost the battle of attrition. During my high school life, I managed to keep the pain at bay by myself when reading and indulging in activities I enjoyed, but the stressful push into college ended with a surprise attack that left me mentally crippled. This was also when my parents found out as well. So, with the related info out of the way, the guidance I need is in terms of medicine. When I first started to experience the overwhelming thoughts, my parents took me to a depot facility for therapy and psychiatric evaluation. Needless to say, I was put on Prozac and forced into CBT because I was at a point where suicide was on my mind everyday. After months of treatment, I left CBT since the therapist and I would always reach an impasse that stagnated the sessions. It was due to me that the sessions were tense. I felt that the sessions were useless. I kept feeling and thinking that she was only doing this for her paycheck and was not inherently invested. In addition, she kept spouting these ignorant platitudes about how I could do it and kept insisting on me doing monumentally stressful tasks every week without completely understanding just how gruesome they were. To me, if felt like she was forcing me to do hundreds of laps. To get ready for a marathon. Even when I did the first few weeks, there was no “good work!” Or anything of the sort. She just kept throwing more tasks at me. I personally ended the sessions with her, and after dealing with it again with two more therapists, I had enough. I was determinedto work on things myself. During this time, I was prescribed the lowest dose of Prozac. I was on it for three weeks before my psychiatrist finally made me relent and increased them by 10 on a fortnight basis. The pills terrified me. I was scared they would ruin my mind. After a while of being on them, I noticed that my depression and suicidal thoughts were basically non-existent anymore. I was finally able to look forward to activities again. However, the pills did nothing major for my OCD. This is where the issues with my parents started. Their biggest gripe was my OCD because my routines would interfere with their routines. As a result, they did not seem to care or express any happiness after my suicidal thoughts went away. It was always “when is this OCD/routine nonsense going to stop”. It hurt me since it felt like they only cared about the inconvenience that plagued themselves than my inner-struggles. After increasing the Prozac to 80mg, I started my own self-disciplined sessions of CBT and exposure therapy to help alleviate the routines a bit. To my surprise, it was working with the help of the pills. After a year of doing this, I got to the point where my 2.5-hour showers were reduced to about 1-hour and 15 minutes. This achievement felt like I had run a whole marathon. However, with a sudden blow to my stomach, my parents continued to say things like “it’s too much, we can’t handle it” It got to the point where I started feeling some of my suicidal tendencies start to re-surface. It was then that they forced their way into my medicine routine and was telling the doctor how the pills were doing nothing and that they needed to be changed. They told the doctor all of these events that made them sound like severe victims and omitted the facts on how the pills were the reason that I was still alive and not dead by suicide. Let’s just say that I snapped and a heated tirade started between us with my psychiatrist in the middle. I was 19 during this, but the psychiatrist, like all the doctors and therapists I had before, sided with my parents since they themselves could not empathize with me and could only sympathize with my parents’ stance on the issue since their not dealing with my issues. The psychiatrist switched my Prozac and put me on paroxetine, in addition with olanzapine and promazine after seeing my outburst against my parents. Needless to say, it has been a couple of days since then, and I am terrified. I feel myself getting more agitated and my eyes are constantly wanting to remain closed. I feel like a zombie that just wants to lay down and sleep. Gone is the excitement of looking forward to something. I swear that I even feel like my mind has slowed down a bit too. I know that I might be overacting here since it has only been a few days, but I am worried that all the progress I made with my depression and routines are going to get reversed and exacerbated. I was doing fine on my own, getting better very gradually. Now, I feel like all that suffering is going to go to waste. Can anyone offer me some affirmations or warning to help me take some sort of initiative. I have never talked back to my psychiatrist before because I don’t want to question the integrity of his title and all of his years at school. I called them and explained what I am saying here, but they just told me to be brave and that this is expected when switching medicines. My mind and body are telling me that this is a mistake. What should I do?
God bless those that take the time to read this absurdly long post. | OCD |
When I was a kid I was very quite, moody, struggled in school and had a hard time connecting with other kids. I was diagnosed with depression sometime in the sixth grade. I spent so much of my childhood and teen years lying in bed feeling like I was being sucked up into the ceiling or escaping into elaborate fantasies. I would spend so much time day dreaming. It got worse with puberty then like a switch as I got older I eventually got better. I do not feel the same hopeless emptiness and apathy, depression episodes/relapse are rare. However, I'm approaching 30 and have not hit any of the normal milestones such as marriage, children, even dating. My job has me moving a lot and while I'll make connections as soon as I leave I'll cut ties with everybody I've known. I feel so terrible but I'm contemplating cutting all family ties over the next couple of years by changing my name, phone number, and not sharing my new address with my next move. My family were not terrible people but being around them only reminds me of the pain I've experienced during my childhood and I'll do anything to get away from that horrible pain. I always feel like I'm reinventing and changing myself so that I can get as far away from my childhood. Depression robbed me of my childhood and though I don't feel it anymore it still effects me. Wondering if anyone also was effected by childhood depression and how you carry on as an adult? | depression |
Hi all,
Recently moved to California and might be switching to a Kaiser health plan. I have an out of state Vyvanse prescription. How bad is it going to be? I know a lot of stories on here are negative about Kaiser. I have an option for a different plan but it would cost about $2500 more a year in just monthly premium alone. Kind of nervous after reading a lot of stories. Any first hand accounts? Hoping to make the decision soon.
Thanks all,I don’t know why there are so many hoops for something so basic. | ADHD |
Sound, lighting, story, metaphors, referents, cinematography etc.. I can analyze all of these things. I even took a few film classes while I was at UCLA. Which is hardcore film study, not some easy A film class. I was able to analyze everything except if the "actor gave a believable performance". I notice other things about the actors. How they look as an artistic object, how their voice inflects, the tone of their voice, what they're wearing etc. However, I truly couldn't tell you what makes Daniel Day Lewis any more believable than Tyler Perry. Yes, I understand the example I just presented was a bit incommensurable in genre, but I feel the hyperbole is needed. I feel as long as an actor says their lines and smiles and cries when they're supposed to, I don't notice their "bad acting", whatever that means. Does anyone here relate? | aspergers |
Haven't done compulsions in at least one week. Was practicing coloring and feeling a bit defeated because I am not that good at it yet, had a weird intrusive thought about being sexually attracted to an instructor's hand and some anxiety. Currently sitting with the feeling that something is wrong. This is your daily reminder to resist your compulsions and sit with the lasting uncomfortable, scary feelings. We can do this. Feel free to check in and talk about how you are doing today. | OCD |
Loud, outgoing and annoying is an older stereotype of folks with Asperger's. Does anyone actually have these characteristics?
I certainly do. I've been fired many times from both jobs and relationships, I'm estranged from all of my relatives and I've even been kicked out of Asperger's support groups. Haha.
I suppose the stereotype is old fashioned for the same reason stand up comedy is dying; people used to be more tolerant. But I'm old school and I just can't help it so getting in trouble is baked in.
How do you live, sir? I mean my existence is torture. I have a great sense of humor and surpressing my annoying self is simply impossible. I have interesting opinions on everything and I'm an adroit speaker with an extensive vocabulary and recall ability. It would just be easier if everyone listens to me carefully, not yawn in my face and let me take charge of everything. I find it hard to believe anyone finds me annoying but even I have to admit my conspiracy theory about everyone in the world scheming to unfairly label me as annoying is wearing thin.
​ | aspergers |
This isnt even really about suicide its about fighting a battle ive fought for who knows how long and I'm just tired, tired of disappointing, tired of trying and failing, just tired. Everyone always says "you've got to change the way you think." Hmmmm crazy what if at the very core of my personality is depression? Then what? Ah yah no answer...figures. | depression |
I'm honestly pretty proud of myself. It took a lot for me to face my fear of needles again especially since I've had some very traumatic experiences with fainting, passing out, having to be restrained, and having so many needles in me while I was in the ICU after my car accident.
I think the car accident in a way helped me overcome my fear of needles since they were taking so much blood all the time and I honestly just let them do it because I was in so much physical pain and on so many drugs for it. I was scared today that since I wasn't stuck in the ICU or stoned off of morphine that I would have a panic attack again and have to be restrained, but surprisingly I stayed calm, looked away, and held my stuffed animal tight as I just waited for it to be over. It was quick and easy, and I didn't get dizzy in the slightest which honestly surprised me.
I know that this may not seem PSTD related, but I wanted to share this because I think it's one of the ways my terrible car accident and the trauma I went through while recovering have made me a little stronger. I now know I can survive these things with poise and grace.
I still get flashbacks, I still have trouble sleeping at night, albeit it's gonna be the two month anniversary tomorrow (on Christmas eve ironically) but for the first time I'm a little proud of myself. | ptsd |
My dad and brother would always say watch your tone. How I say "no" comes across as rude and dismissive. In fact anything I say comes across that way. I have no patience. When I truly want the questions to end, I get frustrated and angry. It can come across that way.
The other times they wanted me to respond all the time with yes. They say it is rude, disrespectful and ungrateful because I am not allowed to say no. Well I don't bend to what you want. Glad I moved out years ago. Freewill does not exist. | aspergers |
I think i may have ocd. I am going to see a physiologist next wensday about it but this id why i think that. 1, i have thoughts i dont want and they keep coming back and then i worry im a bad person because i have those thoughts. 2, whenever i play video games (pretty much all the time) i feel the need to wash my hands constantly and then rub my hands on a towel so much to the point they bleed. 3, i obsess over absolutely everything. | OCD |
I'll start off by saying I was diagnosed last year and I'm in my 40's. The issues I was facing which led me to the diagnosis with my Psychiatrist, and then working working this (along with medication) have helped enormously.
But I still always feel tired. I'm proactive, I get done what needs to be done and more. I have hobbies, I'm enjoying life and am positive about the future.
What got me thinking about it is I had some mentioned to me that I look tired yet I get so much done, maybe I should take a break. I likened it to Bruce Banners statement about getting angry and turning into the Hulk, that he is always angry. I realised that's my secret, I'm always tired and have been as long as I can remember; but my alarm goes off in the morning, my feet hit the floor and I start moving. | ADHD |
I noticed that when peaple tell me to do things I have to do so much mental gymnastics to understand and do what I think the person wants me to do and I end up getting it wrong when a normal person could use "common sense" and get it right. like for example someone asks me to get a pot and points at the kitchen
So I end up thinking what type of pot where is the location of the pot is the pot I'm looking for actually a pot when in reality they refering to the pot sitting on the counter. | aspergers |
Has anyone else felt a hard hitting wave that makes you feel lifeless? Like what the title says, a disconnect from reality.
My eyes feel heavy and not attached to my body, I feel like I’m living in 3rd person.
My lower chest hurts, near the tip of my sternum. The air begins to feel ‘musty’ and thick, FEELS hard to breath. Everything feels like a joke, nothing feels real when this occurs. This is what it would feel like if you soul left your body, it’s weird.
Today at work I felt like I stopped dead in my tracks and my body kept moving. Everyone seemed to be so happy and completely unaware of life itself. I guess you could say they were ‘enjoying the moment’. I all of a sudden felt like these people have absolutely no clue at how much I hate myself, completely oblivious to the possibility of me disappearing and that no one would care either. Everyone would move on.
I’m aware I am not the center of anything, in fact, I despise attention. Otherwise I’d tell family or friends about this, or at least tell them I don’t like myself. I almost wanna say this is like really bad anxiety?
I’m so bad at explaining, I wish I could elaborate on this weird feeling/emotion. | depression |
I’m gonna go to a therapist soon and that kind of worries me. My ocd has caused me mild depression (i think) and feeling happy just seems weird, its almost as if I want to be sad. I am also kind of worried about my OCD going away, living with it for so long and it just going away kind of makes me feel somekind of way. Is this normal? | OCD |
The bulk of my OCD is still intrusive thoughts and thought compulsions, but Ive started doing these weird repetitive actions that aren’t linked to any Obsession. Every time I hear someone laugh I count how many “ha’s” theyd hahahahhaha. If that makes any sense at all. And I count it multiple times to check if I’m right. And it just happens naturally and its hard to resist. Sometimes I count syllables in a sentence too. I used to also do this thing were everything has to be “even” so when I was little and I was eating grapes I would eat one on the right side of my mouth one on the left. I still do this and Ive gotten really good at chewing “even-ly” I’ll bite on in half with the middle of my mouth and chew half of it once on one side and then swap them in my mouth and chew again making sure the grape is chewed “even” I can’t remember the last time Ive eaten grapes like a normal person and I eat them all the time (shout out to grapes 🍇 btw) I do the stereotypical
“OCD” thing were you organize stuff a certain way. Like if I have a 3-5ish pencils in my hand I try and change the order so its “the best order” so I try and not make the longest be too close to the second longest, and the red shouldn’t be next to the orange bc the colors are too close together, because I want it to look more “miscellaneous” and not like theres a particular order in size and color. And I keep trying to find the perfect order until I realize that if I dont put the FUCKING PENCILS DOWN im gonna be in trouble with the teacher bc I spent the last 5 minutes doing absolutely nothing except “play” with my pencils. I also create rules for other writing utensils which is why I dont like having a lot of them on me (Im usually the guy to ask for a pencil from you everyday hahaha) like my friend gives me their highlighters and I take all of the caps of and rearrange them in a certain order until all of the caps are on the same color again. Another thing that no one has ever attempted to understand about me are my outbursts when someone does something “wrong” ok, so when I was little my mom would “help” me with getting all my missing homework done. Whenever I completed a missing assignment she would make a tiny little ——— line on the assignment’s name on the list. I would get so fucking pissed an anxious I hated that more than anything else in my entire life up until that point bc the way she did it just made me so anxious I hated it and just thinking about it makes me really angry. I would start shaking my fist in a really specific way under the table as a sort of way to calm myself down and she would yell at me for doing it. I tried to hide my fist shake thing by doing it my pocket and she still got mad( I remember: 1,2,3 or mm, mm, mm fist shakes on my hip or leg) I would scream like “PLEASE JUST LET ME CROSS IT OFF” and she would get super fucking pissed and Id have all my electronics taken away bc of it. I had a lot of trouble in school when people would touch my stuff bc I have organization problems so they would “help me” organize it. They would “help me” by giving me lists and stuff they would cross stuff off of, and they would repeat things to me in the wrong way and I would always get in trouble for having outbursts bc of it. So yeah. Im not sure I have pure O anymore. | OCD |
Hopefully this wont be removed by the mods.
I want to make it through this life. I want to live a happy and productive life, and I want you too as well. I hope that we can all use out struggles to make us stronger. Everytime that someone gives up, it makes the world a darker place. I sincerely hope that everyone sticks through it with me. | depression |
Edit: work, also a pretty big vent
I just need to vent because I feel bad. Today at work it was rush hour, and I had to sneeze. I went away from the food so I could go and sneeze. But I didn’t have time to quite reach it to my elbow. So I sneezed into my arm. I went to wash my hands but I had another order and some others beforehand. So I barely got any time to wash them. I feel so bad because I think I could’ve gotten someone sick. Sometimes when serving nuggets and fries they brush up on your hands and arms. I just don’t want anyone to get sick and pass away
I’m also annoyed because when I express my concerns with my family and friends they act like they don’t even care or understand why I’m so worried. I just feel like crap right now. I feel like nobody I know really relates to me like this and it hurts. Everyone just shrugs it off or acts like I’m stupid. They even doubt me too. I’m just tired because I always listen to anyone vent about anything for ages and not a single person can actually try and listen to me and try and understand why I get so nervous. I’m so sorry this is so negative and maybe even harsh. I’m just really struggling. And I feel alone. I know I’m not entitled for anyone to listen to me vent and go on anxious tangents. I just feel pent up.
It just sucks because I used to obsess over my past mistakes. And I got through that after a year. But now I’m moving onto giving people Illnesses. It’s just so annoying. The thing is, I’m not worried of myself catching these illnesses. I’m worried about harming others
I’m thinking a fast food job was a bad idea now.. I didn’t know my ocd would manifest like this at all. I really cannot quit. We are so understaffed and I recruited my friend. I can’t just leave him alone now. And I need the job. Everyone would hate me for quitting. | OCD |
It's been almost 3 months since I got together with my boyfriend. Ever since I met him my mental health has improved a lot and I feel si much more confident in my own body because he thinks I'm beautiful. I could listen (and I do listen) to him to go on for hours about how Michael Schumacher is the best F1 driver ever or how this guitar pedal looks and sounds so cool.
I'm quite sure many people would consider me to be one of the weirder folk, but even I can say that he's one of the strangest people I've met in my life. The longer I know him, the weirder he gets. But it only makes him cuter and I absolutely love it.
Yesterday I gave him legos. It was cheap and I wanted to make him happy, so I bought it for him. It was just a small lego car that cost me like a dollar because of a membership card, but I don't think I have seen anyone this happy before. He expressed his happiness in his usual strange way and it was the cutest thing. It felt especially good because he felt pretty depressed in the past week or so and I was glad something finally made him really happy.
But he also makes me so sad. I cried today because iI feel so bad for him.
Being autistic is not exactly a genetic lottery win. He's a young adult and somehow managed to live on his own for a few years now, but his autism doesn't make it easy. He's been strugling with anxiety and depression. The way he lives makes me quite sad.
His apartment is constantly messy. When I first came in, there were spider webs above his head, dust everywhere and the whole place smelled of a cat he owns. After I got a bit more comfortable, I told him I couldn't stand it. Without judgement, I told him that if he doesn't clean it himself, I will and asked him to bring me a broom. We swept off the spider webs together because I was too short to reach all of them.
That was the first time he made me cry. After the deed was done, he hugged me and thanked me. He seemed so grateful because he could not bring himself to do it. I was shocked that such a small thing could mean so much to anyone.
Money is also a struggle for him. He's worked in the past, but now he's focusing on school because work is not easy. He now barely has any money and I'm sure he would not be able to afford food every day if I did not bring him something each time I've got leftovers from my family or got aditional food when I get lunch.
I do not mind paying more for food since I can afford much more than him, but I want him to pay for something ocassionally. Today was one such day when we went to get groceries and I got a few cheap things I wanted to get. I knew it did not cost a lot and it would not ruin him financially, so I asked to pay unless he really could not afford it and he did. I told him that in case he couldn't pay it for me, he did not have to because he truly doesn't have a lot of money. The response I was met with made my heart sink in my chest. He told me that while he could use any aditional money, he wanted to pay because even though he doesn't have a lot of money, he wants to spend some of it on me because to show me how much I matter to him. It was a small thing, but a very important one.
I don't even know why I decided to write this. I suppose I wanted to make sense of my feelings somehow and also thought that maybe this post could make someone else happy. I know life is a struggle for many of you and I sincerely hope it gets better.
Edit: When I said being autistic is not exactly a genetic lottery win, I meant that more in a context ouf our society because there is nothing wrong with autism itself, but it often makes it harder to naviage life amongst others. I am also aware that not every autistic person has to struggle with it as much as my boyfriend does, I did not want to imply that either. I admit that it migh've came our wrong. | aspergers |
I only just started driving for the first time (nothing traumatic I'm just young) and I have started to dissociate while driving. Not in a normal zoning-out way but that special flavor of emotional flashback mixed with suppression. Does anyone have any advice on how to stop this before it becomes habit? I also have some history of trauma that is car related so I'm trying to be extra careful to not make driving a trigger, that would suck :/ | ptsd |
For a little context, I always had a feeling SOMETHING was up when we were dating, but I couldn't put my finger on it. At the time, husband was a daily MJ user so he was always very calm and put together, just extremely socially awkward or at times downright rude when trying to be 'one of the guys' around his friends. He doesn't understand when he is acting rude, he thinks that acting like other people is normal/expected. We moved to an illegal state, so he had to stop using. That is when I noticed a gigantic shift in his behavior. Anger outbursts over very small things, won't listen/have to repeat myself over and over, can't take a joke/doesn't understand sarcasm, doesn't understand a lot of basic concepts, low empathy, easily overstimulated when around our son, etc.
The problem - He has yet to be assessed because his work insurance was tied to his job (diagnosis = getting fired). Now that he is with a new job, we are working out the funds to get him diagnosed. My initial concern was BPD as he fits all but one of the criteria and he has a history of childhood abuse/trauma. We have a 1.5 year old who is showing numerous early markers for autism. He is currently non-verbal, and my husband only recently shared that he was non-verbal for the first 4 or 5 years of his life. That is when I started to think oh crap, I never even considered the possibility of there being a genetic connection.
While waiting for both of them to be assessed, I am just trying to learn how I can help him. I truly feel exhausted from having to constantly explain things, do things for him, deal with the fighting and outbursts, deal with his lack of boundaries, etc. Yes, we are already planning to do counseling as soon as possible. | aspergers |
just had my first real EMDR session and after each time my therapist asked me if I was feeling better or worse. But like idk, am I supposed to feel relieved after following her fingers or more stress. Maybe I’m overthinking this but I’m really confused | ptsd |
The main clues are those "conversations" he has with acquaintances. They're trying to be friendly to him, but I think they're pissing him off with the happy-go-lucky, small-talky way they're addressing him. Especially the woman, who's seemingly talking to him just because she needs a ride. Also, the nonchalant way he mumbles answers. That's me. But I dunno. Maybe I'm just projecting. | aspergers |
Trigger warning- post mentions robbery
Had a little bit of a breakdown after I got triggered looking up some information I needed. I was robbed at gunpoint 2 years ago. It was three people, 2 of them are in prison, one of them is already out of jail (he took a plea for being a witness against the other two. He was the getaway driver, the other two came in, one had a gun). I had filed for restitution and have finally gotten paperwork to carry out the orders and to be notified if something happens to them while they are in prison. Well I needed to look up my attackers incarceration identification numbers to fill out on the sheets of paper and went down this rabbit hole. I was looking up their information and then I found a news clip from the day after the robbery happened and I started crying. I felt the same way I did that night, just sitting on my couch incredibly scared and petrified. I started reliving what happened and to put it bluntly it freaking sucked. I know the symptoms can creep up out of nowhere and be shocking but I wasn't prepared for the flashback and just felt traumatized after I eventually grounded myself. Idk, it just really bothered me and I needed to vent about it. | ptsd |
Hey! Make sure you get some real food into you today! I have spent the last two days, not eating any real meals and have just been…snacking, until I wasn’t hungry anymore. This morning, instead of grabbing those nice chocolate covered pretzels, I made mac and cheese, and it’s really good. And it just tastes and feels so much better because I know it’s good for me. So do yourself a favor and get some good food in you! | ADHD |
Does anyone else struggle with this? For years I have been doing and redoing my prayers, praying for the well-being of my family, thanking God for everything etc. I have to do it every day, in a special order, a special number of times, breathing a certain way while I do it.. And if I think about something else I have to redo it and honestly it’s rather exhausting. Of course, getting an intrusive thought mid-prayer is accompanied by the good old head shake or multiple blinks.
Just wanted to know in what ways does your religious OCD work? | OCD |
I was reading an article (https://medium.com/s/company-culture/your-company-culture-is-who-you-hire-fire-promote-part-2-anatomy-of-an-asshole-dba4f801b9f5) about how people mistakenly associate indifference towards people (which is exhibited on the spectrum) with insensitivity (more so with dark triad traits like narcissism or machiavellianism). I could definitely agree there, especially when I was younger and would only think to befriend people if I thought they had something they could offer me, otherwise it wasn’t worth the effort needed. The article also mentioned that people on the spectrum and those with a dark triad personality tend to bond over those mutual lack of empathy towards people. Personally I never deliberately befriended anyone like that, but do you have a friend you know who would fit? Maybe you can relate to each other over shitty relationships, or just complaining about work/school structure? | aspergers |
I'm in college and I haven't been on medication, Ive never really gotten a chance to be on it, caffiene used to help but since ive been at college ive stopped having energy drinks, and its just getting worse, i cant focus unless its a hyperfocus where i go for like 8 hours straight, i can't keep up, i cant pay attention in class, and i feel like ive lost all parts of who i used to be. I dont know what to do. | ADHD |
My entire life I’ve felt different. Alienated from the people around me. I’ve spent years convincing myself that I made it up. That my experiences, struggles and emotions were just like everyone else’s, they just didn’t talk about it. So neither did I.
I’ve tried. Given up. Started over. Done my best. Failed. And then tried again. So. Many. Times. Always believing that if I just tried a little harder, pushed myself a little more then I would succeed. I would become normal. Everyone else seemed to make it.
I never understood why I was so dumb and lazy. Why I could never do or say the right thing or why I just couldn’t seem to learn from my mistakes. It didn’t make sense. But I wasn’t lazy; I was fighting harder than most of the people I knew.
Then, almost a year ago, I got diagnosed with ADHD and it changed everything. I realised that all these years I spent trying to convince myself that I was “normal” were useless because I’m simply not. There isn’t anything wrong with me; I just think, feel, learn differently. That’s it. And that’s okay.
I realised that I could be tired without being sad, be bored without dying and be forgetful while still caring. Now I know that I’m not stupid, lazy or hopeless. My diagnosis has made me love and understand myself so much more. It’s made me appreciate life and people with good intentions. And it has made me more forgiving of myself as well as others.
It’s not like everything is suddenly sunshine and unicorns, I’m still the same, chaotic train wreck of a human being after all. I still feel different, I still fail, mess up, forget. I still battle with self doubt and anxiety. But there’s a difference; now I know why, I notice and appreciate my strengths and I know that I’m not alone.
And neither are you<33 | ADHD |
I’ll start this of by saying it’s hard for me to write this and second of I’m writing this on the top of my head so expect spelling issues I have adhd who would of thought and in school I feel like everyone just all of a sudden became a bad person and it’s not like I just haven’t had friends I just lost them a couldn’t make new ones after a bit my family was like let’s do homeschooling I’m ok with it I fell like it’s worse for me but better for my whole family btw I have 2 siblings both girls and it’s only a bit harder for me not a big gap so well ya I couldn’t make friends and I couldn’t keep my old ones i tried going online that didn’t work out well and I don’t know what to do I’ve tried everything and like I said nothing works we are moving soon that will be nice I mostly want tips thank you sorry if I went on a rant btw I have a therapist I’m not seeing her now And she might now understand it because she is an adult so I came here | ADHD |
They say you shouldn’t depend on others for happiness
But that’s something I’ve been doing my whole life
I’ve been searching for my happiness everywhere but within myself
In the search of happiness
Religion broke me, and left me hopeless
People hurt me, making me learn that I will always be lonely
I search and search and search
But on my journey I FIND NOTHING
I just want to be genuinely happy
I don’t want to feel this dark void in me anymore
I feel so empty and forgotten
Don’t I deserve happiness
Don’t I deserve love
Don’t I deserve friends
Don’t I deserve everything my heart desires
I’m tired of not knowing the the true feeling of happiness
I can’t keep waiting | depression |
I’m dreading this moment. I’m all for helping people, animals etc. Those who know me they know it’s true. But also I have severe depression, anxiety… I feel suicidal constantly even if I smile and dance. Falling apart all the time. Want to stay in bed. I’m not sure how to find the strength to help friend in need. I don’t know how long she’ll stay with my family… | depression |
For about a week I have noticed I have an uncontrollable urge to pick at my face or head even when bleeding or painful.
It has happened before for extended periods of time however I just recently thought “maybe this is not normal” and to google search.
I discovered some interesting things but a couple links suggested it could be a part of OCD (I am not diagnosed with OCD. But have a long history with anxiety and depression) and something we do under stress.
(This sat with me because a week ago I experienced something minor to others but quite traumatising to me) .
Does anyone else have these uncontrollable urges? It is painful and I’ve tried to stop with baths and keeping my hair damp, covered with a drying turban, keeping my hands busy with a fidget toy.
But once I stop thinking and zone out..I realise I’m doing it again.
😕 | OCD |
Hi everyone,
I have an Instagram page where I post about autism based on my experience and in spanish for my friends in my country to understand. It's only for my friends and close people to understand me and if they're interested in the subject.
I'm thinking about making a post about love life/romantic life in the case of autistic people such as myself and I would like to cover as much as possible. What would you like your neurotypical friends, possible partners, and others, to know about love/romance being autistic? Anything regarding sexual education? Anything regarding your interactions with other people? What does it imply for you being autistic to be in a relationship with someone else? Do you identify with the LGBTQIA+ community and if so, what’s your experience? What’s your experience in general with relationships?
The reason I’m asking is that I want to cover as much as possible, obviously some things will be based on my experience because I’m one autistic person and I obviously do not represent everyone, but I would not like to leave out things that might be important for some. | aspergers |
I wasn’t seeing progress for nearly eight months into contamination OCD therapy. As a result, I started seeing a new therapist. Although they’ve played a **tremendous** role in helping me out, I realized that the journey to recovery is a two-way street; you’re going to have to push yourself like you weren’t ready for. It’s going to suck. **Embrace** the suck. The discomfort and uncertainty is how you’ll grow. Therapy isn’t the only time this is true; exercising, studying, and other various day-to-day activities require us to endure a bit of suck to reach a desired outcome.
Please don’t think it’s impossible. Just know you’ll have to get comfortable feeling uncomfortable. You’ll learn a lot about yourself in the process. Find people who support you, and thank them graciously. If you need that someone, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
All the best. You’ve got this! | OCD |
Well here we go again ... Cut myself. After over a year.
I am a stupid fuck. Dont deserve it any other way.
It is so strange, that I do one little mistake and my brain things: yeah go ahead and cut yourself, only reasoneable ...
God I fucking hate myself.. but on the bright side I am sure now.. it wont ever change.. I carry this shit with me for the rest of my life.. | depression |
if you actually have adhd are stimulants supposed to feel like stimulants? I've heard that people with adhd feel clear headed and "normal" on adhd medication but I've been diagnosed and prescribed adhd meds and it definitely just feels like I'm on stimulants. btw I know only a doctor can give me the right answer but I just want to hear what others think | ADHD |
I am being prescribed Sertraline 25mg, and I just would like to know people experiences with it, anything I should look out for while on it, or anything to help with side effects when first starting off. Thank you. | depression |
What has been people's experiences with telling councillors/psychologists/etc you have Aspergers?
Did the councillor/psychologist have an understanding of the condition? Did you have to explain it to them and did they understand it? Do you know if it changed the process at all?
For anyone who did not tell or was unaware at the time was the advise/treatment given still effective?
My employer has asked me to talk to a councillor due to problems with a co-worker.
I am unsure if I should disclose my Asperger's to the councillor. My concern is they will just blame everything on me/my condition. It has probably been a contributing factor but not the main reason for the problems.
Note: I am recently self diagnosed and still learning but am 99% sure I have Asperger's.
Appreciate any advice people can give. Thanks. | aspergers |
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