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I was officially diagnosed at 39 last week, glad to have it acknowledged and feel like I can be a bit kinder to myself. But I’m worried about medication.
My dr has asked for me to get blood work and tests on my heart before prescribing medication. I am nervous about medication because I am massively over weight and there is history in my family of high blood pressure and heart attacks. I’m looking into getting a gastric bypass in the new year as I’m determined to get my weight under control. My family are really supportive in my decision as it’s something I’ve really researched (hours & hours) and I think it’s right for me.
I would feel more comfortable with the medication if my weight was lower so there was less pressure on my body. My plan will be to take meds once my weight is closer to overweight and not obese.
Has anyone else waited? What did you do to help focus on work during the day? Are there medications that don’t affect your heart/ blood pressure? | ADHD |
Hi, so I thought I’d make this post just to tell people what exactly I had to do in my therapy, and the positive and negative things that have come up after having done 6 weeks of reliving sessions to try and remember my assault, but also to try and move on from it. Just to note my experience was that I was a victim of a crime so this might not be the same for everyone.
So basically my therapist asked me if I was comfortable sitting across from him so he could ask me questions as I went through what happened in my trauma. He then typed this up, and made a document that was about a page long. Every week since then I’ve been reading it, and then adding any info that was out of place and forgotten from my trauma. Right now that script is complete, there are some bits that my therapist knows I’ll never actually recall, as the assault went on for quite a while in total but I remember a whole lot more than I did.
In the last 2 sessions, we’ve moved on to reading over my ‘script’ of the assault, and my therapist will ask about how I now feel looking back on certain parts that he notices upset me the most. This has helped a lot because I’ve started to realise that although the way I acted during and after wasn’t normal, it was out of fear and confusion and that I shouldn’t blame myself for what happened to me. I trusted someone close to me and they hurt me. I’m starting to realise that isn’t my fault.
With that realisation that I played no part in letting something happen to me, and that this was probably actually pre planned by quite a while, though, has brought up new feelings of anger and upset. My therapist says these are common, and that it’s ok to be angry that someone did something awful to me. I just have to face head on that someone targeted and attacked me, and that although I can’t guarantee it won’t happen again, I can live my life knowing that regular people don’t just do things like what he did.
As a positive, though, my panic attacks and flashbacks have gone down significantly, and I even managed to sleep every night for a week whilst my dad was away! Loud noises still make me jump, but I’m trying to keep on and sleep at the same time every day and I’m doing ok. I’m doing really well at my new job, I’m eating 3 meals a day even if sometimes I’m not hungry the whole day and am trying to get on with life.
Overall, although reliving therapy isn’t fun and has brought up a lot of sadness and anger within me, I feel like I’m getting a lot better and I hope this helps anyone thinking of seeking therapy, and if anyone has more questions pls dm me or comment on this!! I’d be happy to answer :) | ptsd |
I (27f) start thinking about how it’s going to be disappointing for my partner if I don’t orgasm because I know he likes being able to make me finish. So I start getting close and then ocd comes in and I start thinking SO MUCH about it that it actually stops me from being able to finish at all. Then I get frustrated and it makes it worse and it’s just a vicious cycle. Anyone have advice? Especially if you have dealt with this yourself and been able to figure out how to handle it. Thanks | OCD |
Went to doctor today hoping for some positive news and all he does is up my dose of Zoloft to 150mgs and tells me to come back in a month. I can call him if I need him. I know you can't do much with antidepressants, but still frustrating. He did me I would have faster chance with sticking with Zoloft instead of tapering and putting me on another drug. He also told me for OCD they could go up to 300mgs if needed. At that rate it would take me 4 more months. | OCD |
Like does it offend you if someone doesn’t see the need in it or make a say joke on it? Because I’m not offended by it really. I can’t understand tones at times but its not really offensive to me if ppl joke about it. I remember James (TheOdd1sOut) said something about fine indicators and all the NT people said “that’s offensive” blah blah. Just trying to check off that box in the good morality list. All the ND said “actually, this doesn’t really offend me” | aspergers |
I'm not worth anything. I'm too lazy to do anything. I have things to do but here I am laying down in bed doing nothing because I have no energy. I won't amount to anything. I'm not a good friend. I'm a really terrible friend. I don't think they care about me they're just talking to me because they feel bad. I'm not good enough. I'm trash at everything. I'm a lost cause, there's no saving me. I wish I get shot or run over by a car or truck or something. My friends hate me they don't want to do anything with me and it's easy for them to leave me. They would be happier if I die. I'm shit and no matter how many good things I do I'm still shit. I'm irredeemable. I'm useless. I'm a waste of space, of resources, of air. I deserve to die. I don't deserve to have friends. I'm too dumb and stupid to become better. I deserve to die and I need to die. I'll always be a burden as long as I exist. | depression |
So, my regular primary doc is on an extended maternity leave. In the mean time Im seeing someone esle in the same office. I dont like her as much and I'm much more weary around her. The last time I saw her she was trying to encourage me to see a therapist again (I am trying but I can't get in anywhere I often cant even get a call back but she doesn't seem to quite understand this). I have depression and anxiety and both of these doctors aren't capable of diagnosing PTSD but are sure I have it and I agree. The doctor when I saw her last week asked if I had BPD and I dont which I told her and was REALLY upset by it. After thinking on it I finally realized why. It suggests I have "manic days" where I probably feel overly good/well about myself. But the truth is without my meds I have mildly depressed days, very depressed days and wishing unalive days. I was upset cause there has never been a time were I had an emotionally high (exaggerated or not) day.
I'm wondering though it anyone has experienced anything similar? Or even if I'm just being strange?
Edit: i mistakenly mixed up the acronyms for Bipolar disorder with borderline personality disorder. This post is supposed to be about Bipolar disorder. | ptsd |
I often find that on a purely intellectual level that I understand social interactions. I can understand that someone doing or saying x can result in person B feeling y. I can understand what a smile might mean in this context as opposed to that one. In other words, I can analyze social interactions and from an observer's point of view, understand what is going on.
But when it comes to me interacting with people, I never really *feel there*. I always feel a level of disconnect from the majority of people I talk to, and that they seem more interested in talking with each other than with me. I always feel like I am in the area of always making acquittances who engage in bare minimum small talk but never really making any friends (at least not since 2014, and by friends I mean real friends, not whatever passes as a five-minute 'friendship' nowadays.) Sometimes I wish that I was a computer, and that I never had to deal with another person ever again. | aspergers |
3 weeks ago I smoked weed with two other mates, and I regularly smoke weed so wasn’t a new experience I suddenly felt very scared and felt everything became extremely amplified I left the room and went to another room to lay down at that point I knew I was having a panic attack/bad high it started to feel as if reality had shattered and everything was melting and breaking down. I felt like I was one with everything and I felt a sharp physical kind of pain throughout my body whenever I moved and in general it was an unbearable experience but after a while I was back to normal and went to bed
When I woke up later I felt better but very depersonalised a couple hours after I had woken up I experienced a very stressful situation where all of a sudden felt that first feeling of extreme fear and intense panic one of the main triggers I feel for these attacks are when I run my hands through the back of my hair it’s like a physical pain and frightening feeling it makes me freak out. I am still experiencing bad depersonalisation and depression with panic attacks such as that becoming a normal accurence.
When ever I am stressed or become anxious I run my hands through my hair out of fear I am slipping back into that experience This usually makes it worse
Is anyone experiencing the same thing? It’s becoming unbearable and I can’t live like this can anyone help | ptsd |
I’ve known this person for 3 years but now that we aren’t in highschool anymore and at different places. I feel like they just don’t wanna talk to me anymore. They’re my best friend or at least that’s what I thought. I feel like all the time, I had to reach out to them, I always had to start the conversation. Now it’s starting to feel like I’m the only one trying to keep the friendship afloat and it’s just exhausting. I’ve stopped talking to them because long story short. Had a crush on them for a long time. They liked me when we first met but things just wasn’t working as I went through a breakup. I confessed my feelings twice when I did end up liking them. the recent one is when they threaten to unfriend me. That was a few months ago and they have the hall to say “I value u as a friend and I don’t want that to End” which the unfriend thing still fucking hurts. Got off topic. Anyways, I stopped texting them weeks ago because I needed to be alone and focus on myself. They never really reached out to me which can be interpreted as “if I don’t talk this friendship may die” which I did think about but at the same time, when we text it’s not like a normal conversation. I can say a lot and just get “ok, oh-, I-,” or other one word responses. Plus, their phone is on DND and Silent which begs the question. Why communicate or even have a phone tbh. I just feel like that we were never going to stay friends outside of highschool and maybe it’s best to just end the friendship as it feels like I’m talking to air. | aspergers |
I’ve been waiting to get an adderall prescription but in the mean time I did some research on multi vitamins and saw that they could possibly be helpful. I bought a bottle today and I just want to know have they helped anyone else? Would you prefer adderall? Is it safe to do both adderall and multivitamins together? | ADHD |
i just don’t like myself
when i try to think about what type of person i am, and how I would perceive myself as another person - i don’t like that person
i’m really loud, i interrupt people, i am awkward and there’s so much i am embarrassed of. a lot of my friends don’t hang out with me because i’m so embarrassing - maybe i’m just in my head but that’s what it feels like
i can try and meditate and it helps but otherwise i’m always unhappy because i don’t like myself | ADHD |
I got up today! I got over sleeping! I really did my best! | OCD |
I was in a serious accident in October. I'm still working through serious physical injuries so I put emotional health on the back burner. At my last orthopedic appointment, she referred me to an EMDR therapist and I just feel so lost. I have diagnosed bipolar disorder and struggled with severe anorexia but this is so different and I feel like none of my coping mechanisms are working. I have no motivation to do the things I need to do. It's my last semester of college and I'm so scared I'm going to screw it all up, not graduate, and lose the job I have lined up. | ptsd |
Is it normal to not feel anything on day 3. Or should I wait it out?
Some background info, I'm 20M finally after having difficulties with completing tasks, bad grades (which lead up to my having to repeat a year of highschool). I got the guts to go to a psychiatrist that prescribed me with antidepressants, shortly after that I noticed that my attention span was 10x more horrible. I asked for an ADHD test and I was diagnosed with ADHD-inattentive type. A week ago
I got prescribed Concerta (18mg). The first day felt like my brain was relaxing, processing things slowly which was a thing I never experienced in my entire life. I cried because it felt like it was gonna be life changing. Second day rolls around I take my meds and i feel some sort of change in my attention but it's not as drastic as the first day. I'm on the third day and my attention feels back to normal. My psychiatrist told me to strictly take 1 pill a day for the first week and then I can increase it to 2 pills depending on the severity of my ADHD. My biggest concern is that I don’t want to depend on it and I’m too scared to try and increase doses. Although i understand this is something I have to do, I just wish there was an easier way to find the perfect dose :( | ADHD |
I'm taking Adderall and my doctor and I have finally dialed in the dosage. Rather than having an appointment every month for a new prescription, she's started writing an Rx that's good for a few months. I know Adderall is limited to a 30 day supply and refills have to be 30 days apart. (For example, she'll write an Rx for 3 30-day supplies that's good for 90 days/3 months.
My question is, when does the countdown started? Does it start from the time I request a refill, or when I pick up, or some other date?
Last go around, I ran out and couldn't get my meds cuz i misread the expiration date while trying to calculate the 30 days.
(AZ, USA if it matters) | ADHD |
Praying that this therapist will be better than half the other ones I’ve had (3/6 over the last 4 years have been really bad at their job). I’ve been on the waiting list for 6 months so I hope it’s worth it. | OCD |
I tend to become panic attacks when things change. Im not able to relax at all before and some time during the process to getting to know everything.
I need some time to get to know the chores I have to do and finding my new rhythm.
Do you have any tips and tricks how I can cope with this emotionaly overwhelming situation?
I don't want to be a burden to my private people by being in a crazy mindstate for weeks. Also I don't want to have so much stress.
I expect the coworkers to be nice and kind. That's not my problem. I knew I'll need a view days to open up and to them.
Anyone has experience with situations like this?
I mean it can fream me out when I just move a shelf in my room. It's not that I like it that way, I enjoy it but it's the change. | aspergers |
Hey, guys I'm new to OCD got it years back but it really started developing majorly recently. Out of nowhere I feel a "itchy" feeling in my stomach in which I churn my stomach around to get rid of it. It is rather annoying and I get it quite often. I also feel the need to cross my eyes every few seconds. This causes me to lose focus. What am I experiencing? | OCD |
Hello, I’m Friskus, and I was just recently diagnosed with OCD after showing increasingly worsening symptoms since the first grade.
I see people talking about “just right OCD,” and I’ve been seeing people who aren’t educated about it outside of Reddit who correlate it with making things just right as the only form of OCD.
For me, I hate seeing things centered or to the right- Almost always being compelled to shift them or angle them to the left. I’ve only just started my treatment, but on some (so far mostly) pretty bad days, I start out by sleeping with my pillow at a nearly 90° angle. Stuff like this also includes setting down objects by the left first- If that makes any sense.
Does anybody else do this? In what forms?
Just curious. | OCD |
Sometimes I’m happy and have some much energy that I can’t fight a tiger but sometimes I’m so down that I can’t even get hard or be active and feeling like I want to just end it it sucks and this crazy world we live in is just making it worst I feel like I need to get out there socialise with friends but I don’t know man there probably feeling the same shit to. | depression |
The hearing was today. I didn't go but the victims services advocate I've been talking to emailed me about it. I didn't end up writing an impact statement. I tried but it was too triggering so I let the advocate know that and she asked for my permission to tell the parole board that I was too triggered to write an impact statement because that alone gives an idea of the impact. So I told her to tell them and that I also thought they should know that I've been diagnosed with PTSD and I'm in therapy and on antidepressants and anxiety medication and medical marijuana for it.
The email said: "The reasons for the denial are: nature and circumstances of the offense, injury and impact to the victim’s and inadequate institutional program participation."
I replied to ask her when he'd be up for parole again and she said: "He won’t be. The board denied him with no chance for a re-hear. There are other means of release thru the department of corrections, please be sure to keep your registration current so that if he applies you will be notified."
I'm so relieved.
And he didn't even get to leave prison to go to the courthouse. They did a video conference from the prison. And no one showed up in support of him or even to do an impact statement. No one he knew cares about him anymore. There's no one who wants him released. He has nothing and no one and I'm glad.
Even if he does get out, there's at least 7 men in my family who own guns and want to shoot him and he's well aware of that so he'd probably stay away. I found out recently that when he was first questioned after I reported the abuse, he asked the police to protect him from my father. He's a pathetic bastard. | ptsd |
I'm currently on ritalin, which has a side effect of insomnia for me. Typically I don't take any meds past 6pm to stop the insomnia problem. However! Tonight at 10pm I needed to grab a different medication out of my med bag. My brain just went to auto-pilot and grabbed another dose of ritalin. As soon as I swallowed it I realised what I'd done.
I wanted to sleep tonight. I hope I can sleep tonight. I have to wake up at 5.30am & am anticipating a late night tomorrow night. Fuck me. | ADHD |
So DID/dissociative identity disorder is a pretty obscure dissociative/trauma disorder representation wise save for stigmatizing hollywood movies and all that. But anyways, one of the characteristics of the disorder is denial because it's supposed to remain hidden and the person with it isn't supposed to know it's real. I feel like this has intertwined with my OCD, where ever since being diagnosed i'll get intrusive thoughts of "Oh well other people are saying online it doesn't even exist your lying to yourself and everyone around you, you're scum." or "You just wanted to believe you had DID for attention." stuff of that nature. Or literally anything, anything as apart of the disorder i'll try to pick apart sometimes because I feel like I NEED proof that i'm faking or not faking and I just can't get it out of my head (This extends to my PTSD too). Again like I said it doesn't help that there are still a lotta people out there that when ya talk to em about it they say "Oh your crazy you just made up all these people for attention or because your psychotic." Even though I understand logically it was caused by terrible terrible abuse. Just can't stop obsessing over it but I can't talk about it with anyone because nobody knows what DID is outside of stigmatizing media. | OCD |
and theyre driving me and my family insane i had a meltdown this morning over dumb shit and i was screaming for my mom and it was scary. idk what to do, they might be worsened bc im starting back on my lexapro. idk what to do. | OCD |
I’ve been a little concerned about my dating life and people keep pointing out to me there are many people with ADHD in healthy relationships.. but most of the time the guy has it. In stereotypical straight relationships the women seems to be the planner, mature one, the more organized one, and those just aren’t my strong suits. I’m still a lovely person despite that but I wonder why a girl as beautiful as I am has yet too find someone. I’m 20 now, young I know but I still worry at times. | ADHD |
Am I the only one that does this? Doesn’t matter where I am or what i’m doing, gotta get my phone out and look it up.
Watching a movie? Gotta look up the whole cast mid-movie.
See someone wearing something I like? Gotta find it online so I can add it to the cart and not order it.
This is just a few of a thousand examples that happen throughout the day. Whatever it is that I need to know, I need to know it NOW. 95% of my screen time is doing this and it’s all useless information. | ADHD |
this is my first post on reddit and im on mobile so I'm sorry if this is messy. I'm just really desperate for someone to understand. if i broke any rules I'm really sorry, I did read them i promise I'm just not the smartest. sorry for my terrible grammar also, it's very late at night as usual for me.
tws (all mentions, nothing graphic): csa, self harm and suicide ideation.
My ptsd stems from csa and i was diagnosed late last year. I was the hospital at the end of 2018 for suicidal thoughts and I began remembering parts of my abuse. I have frequent nightmares and insomnia despite taking sleeping pills. I'm also in my last year of high school doing it online because of facing racism at my local school but that isn't important haha....
because I'm at home alone all day every week I'm left alone with my thoughts and have given up on trying to do schoolwork, and even just basic things that people need to do and i feel pathetic. the memories are so crippling that I've begun to self harm, and I've never done that before. I am in therapy but I'm just barely functioning. My parents even said they notice but don't do anything. I just wish someone could understand. I feel pathetic. I wanna run away from all this, even just for a week. | ptsd |
Family, school, work or friend circle... it can really happen everywhere and it doesn't even need a valid reason for this to happen.
Rant:
I remember back in my childhood when I was definitely the black sheep of the family. I was bullied, insulted, humiliated in public, outcasted... and all of it by my own family. My dad was the only one that protected me against 'them' because he has Asperger himself and had therefore naturally a normal attitude towards me.
My family certainly knew I didn't have many friends at school, but they didn't give a fuck. My older brother hated me because I took all of the attention as a newborn kept treating me like shit throughout all of my childhood until my adulthood. My mother was just like him and my grandmother. Jealous, self-centered, ignorant, manipulative, abusive, arrogant and narcissistic. Full of shit.
No boundaries respected. Nada.
They absolutely despised me for having boundaries. There was no acceptance. Just pure control and powergames.
But because I had a sense of self-preservation, I acted out and became agressive towards them in order to protect myself. Now who ended up being the asshole?
Of course me. Now they had a real reason to never stop torturing me.
Now ya'll trying to tell me to "stop hating on NT's" blablabla..... Fuck you! I would never hate other people if they wouldn't have done these things to me. Was I ever treated like shit by an Aspie? Never. Do NT's naturally and with no reason treat others like shit? Hell yes. | aspergers |
Even for those that seem to do it well enough to get rich or get the job they were seeking or otherwise get ahead in some glad handy and/or backstabby way, it seems like a full time job that has no end, no definitive breaks, and the floor constantly falls away if the superficiality of it all isn't maintained like some grand illusionist's spell.
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If I had to seek a new career this far into middle age I'd be worse than lost. I'd just about have to throw away my entire identity and lifestyle and somehow become an "influencer" to skip ahead of the line and get the job not because of what I know but because of who I know. I know it's just how things are, but I'm a strong believer that the way things are is not the same thing as the way things ought to be.
Lots of stuff freaks me out and redlines me and can shake me up for hours after it happens, and one of those things is coming anywhere near a modern social media anything, be it a "funny" Tiktok account or that soul-crushing machine known as LinkedIn. | ADHD |
I just wish I could end myself. I’m 17 and in 3 months I will have the most important exam that will decide my career in life. I have no idea what I want to do.
I’ve done so many research and I still can’t decide. I literally haven’t studied for my exam, since I don’t have a drive to study. Every time I manage to open my textbook, I just can’t help but think about why tf am I doing this for.
I’m really bad at talking, and a lot of the jobs require good communication. Heck just life in general requires good communication. I’m so tired of playing nice,finding the right words to say, keeping up with trends I don’t give a shit about and putting on a different personality for different people.
I’ve seen so many people fall into poverty because they didn’t study or didn’t know what they wanted to do, and I’m about to go down that path too. I’m going to spend my days being jealous over others and wince at the price of items forever.
It just hurts, for as long as I live, I’ll have to keep making choices,build relationships that is just too mentally draining for me. I want to die but in my religion if you kill yourself you’re going to get stuck in hell forever. And I don’t want to leave the hell of life to a worse one.I’m stuck here forever.
I don’t what to do. I don’t know anything. All I know is I want it to end.
Any career advice tho? Or like anything that will help me see my life in a different light | depression |
I've been working towards a goal of becoming a professional firefighter I've got a lot to do first tho. I've got to get my license which I have been studying hard for. I need to then get my diploma and during that I'll see if I can manage away to get my EMS license or after because that will probably be easier. After that I'll start volunteering and helping for a year then I'll eventually go to a fire academy. By 25 I want to be a professional firefighter I'm 19 now. Also need to get into better shape but I'll be alright with that since I was working out and just got a gym membership then broke my foot. It was just the universe laughing at me and testing me.
I get happy every time is see a fire trick or hear a siren. It's all that has been on my mind lately and I'm in love with it. I will be a firefighter and be the best one I can be nobody will put me down for it or make me change my mind. I used to go to firestaions a lot when little I'd ride in the engines,see them go on calls, wear bunker gear, and just listen to them talk about being a firefighter and over all have a amazing time.
When I was a kid I really enjoyed doing this and recently I asked my mom if she knows anyone who does first responding and if they can get me on for a ride along one day. She said yes she knows a EMT who knows the people at the fire department I used to go to a lot when I was a kid. Its just funny how all this stuff is tied together and it feels like I'm going onto the right path. I dont feel this is a special interest I'm honestly very passionate and committed to this, I've always known I was here to help people so why not do this? The hints have been there through my whole life of what I was supposed to be doing. I might as well just take the chances I'm given and take the opportunity rather than just ignoring them. | aspergers |
I try not to give in to compulsions, since it would get worse and worse. But I struggle and sometimes fail. I don't want to worsen it, since I wanna actually enjoy life. I don't wanna go to any psychiatries again, I feel frightened. Although I am doing much better now than 2 years ago, the fear of getting worse is also consuming me, along with my intrusive thoughts | OCD |
I don't know if it's just a feeling of burnout or insecurity or trying too hard to do a specific thing but I feel like I'm flying into another creative block and I'm kind of losing myself in questions. The obvious one being "would I be a better \_\_\_ without my ASD?" and while obviously there's the Butterfly Effect and all that making it impossible to really say anything, it's still a question I can't ignore. If you lose a large profit to a bad hand at a casino, wouldn't you question the life that could've been? The same "bad hand" situation goes for my ASD only it feels more extreme, like would I have been able to be a more effective musician influenced by the same things and actually able to make music to my standards? Would I have friend groups and a sense of community, would I have a romantic partner and a muse? How much is the ASD specifically getting in the way and how much of it is just other factors? And are other people talented because they're NT or because they have money and free time?
I've just been lost in looking at others, I see these idiosyncratic musicians online and they always seem to be from California or New York, those stereotypically rich states in America and they're so good to the point of making me insecure, where I'm stuck questioning if they just achieved success through money and free-time or from being like me but without the drawbacks of ASD. And anytime I'm mindlessly browsing Instagram, you just see couples everywhere. People you'd think must be good enough to dedicate themselves to their craft have partners, muses, a like-minded soul in their lives. Of course Instagram has the bias of rose-tinting everyones' lives but fucking hell it still stings, it just makes you wonder if it's moral/ethical to show that "false perfect" world to others if it's of little gain to the poster and detrimental to others.
I'm not really able to voice all these feelings clearly, I guess it's just this overwhelming sense of lost potential, this idea of "I could've been X if I wasn't an aspie" yet I also don't know if it's the ASD to blame or it's my fault or whether I'm looking at ridiculously lucky/wealthy people who were able to reach their potential. There's just so much fucking ambiguity and no answers, nothing's getting clearer and if I have to blame myself then there's a ton of cognitive dissonance to reason through. And it's hard to ignore this feeling that everywhere you look, the stats are against us with how isolated we are, how prone to disease we are, the rates of suicide, it's just this game of numbers and we've been dealt the worst hand. If you know the dealer's going to get 21, do you still hit on 20 or just give up?
Does this post make sense? I'm honestly struggling to explain this really specific web of anxiety and rumination | aspergers |
okay yes the title is correct. i don’t know why, i tried to do it, maybe just because i feel like i deserve to do that to myself? i don’t know, i think that makes sense. this post probably makes zero sense. | ptsd |
I often have very quiet and internal panic attacks that are almost entirely in my mind. Unless someone was REALLY paying attention, they would have no idea. My heart races and my chest gets tight, I clench my jaw, and I breathe very shallowly as my mind races. But I don’t say or “act out” much. I just am too busy trying to get myself together to make an outward show of emotion. I’m very talkative normally and I find it odd that this is seen as “abnormal” panic attack behavior. Me being quiet and tense is me panicking. Has anyone else experienced these? Do you find it difficult to get adequate medical help when you don’t “look” like you’re having a hard time? | OCD |
So idk what this is really but I just wanted to share it cus it makes me happy :) So idk if anyone has like this one band that's just special to you, but System of a Down (specifically Serj Tankian) without fail will always make me so happy I feel like I'm about to explode. If I'm justing chilling and then I want to start doing stuff and being productive I'll turn on SOAD and suddenly I'll be bursting with energy, feel ecstatic, and ready to take on the world and hyperfocus/work on stuff for like 8 hours straight. Part of it is probably because I really love and admire Serj, and that their music can feel kinda like crack cocaine or something, haha. It just gets the adrenaline pumping. It makes me want to just go sprinting or something. Idk, it just makes me feel so happy, full of energy, and content with myself. I think that's really cool honestly.
Their music can hype me up but can also make me sit silently in front of my window at 4 a.m. and just kinda be at peace with the world. I just love them so much idk ahhhhhh. Was curious if other people got that with like a specific band. Because SOAD has such a special place in my heart. Serj's voice just kinda is on the exact same wavelength as me or something haha. It's so familiar and comfortable :)))) | aspergers |
anyone have any tips for stopping or preventing body focused repetitive behaviors? i constantly chew on my lip skin and the inside of my lip. it’s causing my front teeth to erode. the only thing i’ve noticed that helps is chewing gum. i also look at/pick at my split ends and will be stuck doing it for 30 mins if i don’t make myself stop. | OCD |
Does caffeine interact with concerta? I take concerta for my adhd and I had a coffee today and started feeling unwell ( I almost never drink coffee, this is the second time I do in almost four years). I’m having symptoms similar to a heart attack (difficulty breathing, sweaty hands, chest pain, and nausea) I’m really worried because this is the first time I feel this way and I didn’t even take my full dose yet. Will it go away or should I go to a hospital? | ADHD |
I’m too slow to recover the store at night ( I work at CVS with 1 other person) and too slow to do the ad. I’m on the Autism spectrum but it’s hard to tell.
I’m so sick of the way people look at me/talk to me/talk about me/want me fired-because of my weaknesses. Not to mention having to sell care pass in the daytime and watch the front by myself at night.
Everybody is a shift supervisor and above. I’m the only cashier and I’m barely managing. I like to remind me that it’s because of the kindness that I’m not fired.
They said I don’t care enough but I get stressed out too easy and the only way to prevent a meltdown is to be nonchalant and calm about everything always. Otherwise i’ll abscess and drive up my depression. | aspergers |
Went out last night and had the most amazing time, but also drank more than I ever have done. I thought it would be a great idea to have a gin and lemonade, a huge glass of wine and about 3 shots. I’m surprised I still remember everything because I’m incredibly lightweight.
For the past 3 weeks I’ve gone out and socialised which I found hard to do a couple of years ago in fear of judgement, but now since CBT I have gained confidence and feel so happy. All in those 3 weeks I’ve had about 8 drinks in total in those three weeks (one drink on two separate occasions and about 5 tonight) which is nothing compared to other people! Most people my age get blackout drunk most weekends.
The scary thing is though my OCD has ran with this now.. didn’t take it long.
I started feeling like I want a drink again, but I remind myself and stop when I think I’ve had enough or know it’s not the right time to drink . My OCD intrusive thoughts are around alcohol now and they keep telling me I’m an alcoholic and that I’ll never recover. Bearing in mind these are my first drinks in literal 8 months.
I don’t know if anyone else has had this fear? | OCD |
Hey everyone,
Before anything, I really want to put a disclosure that this isn't a post involving self-pity or asking for direct help. However, this is something that has been on my mind for some time and I can really use the advice.
So, I am 34 years old and have been having this strong feeling of not feeling like I am anywhere near where I thought I would be 2, 5, or even 10 years ago. In 2019, I graduated with my PhD in spatial ecology (it should be noted that I also have worked in the private sector working for environmental firms so my professional experiences are hardly from education alone). I knew that doing a PhD would kind of make me "early career" career-wise, but it was not only something that meant the world to me (the research, I also thought that it would help me in the end (in whichever sector). I graduated right before the pandemic hit and directly following, I got a job adjuncting thinking that it would be temporary (until well, COVID).
Right now, I am working several jobs and making a non-livable wage. While doing this and during my off time, I have been applying for jobs, networking, etc (the industries that I was focusing on took a huge hit). I am dating, and while I got out of a relationship recently, I am still actively putting myself out there and have been meeting some great people as well (some who are or went through similar experiences).
Anyways, flash forward to now since I graduated - and I am currently live in a room at my cousins house, barely getting by, while spending so much of my free time related to "job stuff". I also want to note that I live in one of the most expensive parts of not only my state, but also the country.
This reality for me has been hitting me relatively hard recently. I honestly thought at this point that I would have a stable career, meet someone, and hopefully start a family. These are things I legitimately looked forward to in my life. Now, I consciously know not to compare, but it is also difficult not to given that virtually everyone I know (including folks who received their PhDs with me) is at that current stage in their lives...and I am still feeling stuck, and sometimes that said future was never meant for me.
Right now, I am still trying as hard as I can to look for a brighter and better future. I am trying not to be so hard on myself, am going to see a therapist next week, and have been carrying on applying for jobs (I even had an interview for a high paying state position). While I honestly hope that something will pull through (I do want to note that the positions I am applying for have a good salary and benefits), and maybe it is a matter of time....it still has been really hard to stay optimistic (especially after 150+ job rejections).
Ultimately, I really do fear being that guy five years from now who is on the sideline watching while everyone I know are having these monumental moments in their lives - that I thought I could also have, and I am genuinely afraid of that of that becoming a reality. Like I said, I am trying to keep my chin up and do my best to carry on. I am going to see a therapist next week, I am carrying on networking and applying, I am still trying to meet a prospective partner, and I am even joining freemasonry (most of the male members in my family are members and I know it really had a positive experience in their lives) but I am at a period where I am tired...and a bit sad about how things turned out after working so hard for so many years.
With that being said, for those of you who went through a similar experience, how did you push forward? Do you have any advice during such rough times? In addition, I totally welcome any insight from those who haven't had such experiences but may have something to offer. Really, thank you for reading and I hope you are having a good day. | depression |
I’ve had this account possibly as a throw away for 2021. I’m done.
My whole life I’ve repeated the same patterns and attracted the same horrible people my parents were. Immature, abusive, cruel addicts.
I’m not going to beat myself up about choices anymore but man alive it’s hard to find people to like and trust. It’s been hard to like and trust myself. Sometimes it feels lonely but I’m really okay on my own most of the time. It would just be nice for someone to care, miss me and want to spend time together, like you see on telly…I know they’re fake but people have it.
Every time I watch something and it turns into a love story I get triggered and angry, especially after this year and I’m sick of it.
I don’t want co-dependence. I want real people who love and care and who aren’t c**ts. And I never say that word but C you were a c**t. How could you? Haven’t we both as humans been through enough? You faked it all and dropped me from a great height and if I could cut you out of my brain myself I would because everything you did just reminded me of the trauma of my Dad. A man who never knew what love meant and lived a sick, sad existence abusing both his kids. Why?? You fat fuck. Rot in hell.
Thanks for letting me finally say it. | ptsd |
After I found my mum scrubbing muddy shoes in the kitchen sink this morning everything in the house is now contaminated. I haven’t been able to eat much over the past few weeks but it’s at a critical point now. | OCD |
I’m so sick of having nightmares. I’ve tried Prazosin and all it does is tank my blood pressure. It doesn’t make a dent in the nightmares. I woke up screaming last night and in a panic and freaked my husband out. I need to figure something out 🥺 | ptsd |
I laid out a plan in my head. I should wake up around 5 am, do my laundry, and proceed to finish my homework about 11 am. But I started to become anxious about the day I would have tomorrow. Consequently, my anxiety kept me up until 4 am and I woke up around 1 pm because I was tired and sleepless. I did my laundry around 2 pm and I felt disgusted with myself because I messed up the routine again. I finished my laundry and proceeded to do my homework around 4. That's when the intrusive thoughts come. "Would I wake up around 5 the next day?" "Im going to rush my homework"
and the thoughts started to build up too much that I decided to lay on my bed to start daydreaming about the worst scenarios that would happen the next day. | OCD |
How to do ERP with intrusive toughts about delusions, hallucinations, disorganised behavior and thinking?
Thanks! | OCD |
Ever since first grade I've never really understood anything academically, I'm in 10th now and it hasn't gotten any better
No matter how much I focus I just can't understand the subject, whatever it may be.
I have math tutoring and even with that I can barely understand math at a 6th grade level.
I'm looking for advice, as I think my luck has run out and I'll have to really try to not to fail this year. What should I do? | aspergers |
I've lived my entire life being incredibly anxious, and having some what of an obsessive personality. But I've never had any classic compulsions that I was aware of other than BFRBs (picking my thumb skin, inflicting minor pain on my extremities). My older sister has autism and diagnosed OCD, she not only has rituals and intrusive thoughts, but also carried out compulsive behaviours, so I always thought that because I saw what OCD looked like in her, I knew I didn't have it
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I'm now 27, and I'm really questioning now if that's true. I'm aware that this sub can't diagnose me, but I think general conformational experience will make me feel less alone. I've been in and out of therapists, psychiatry, and am currently on 60mg of Prozac but nothing has ever been that helpful. I'm officially diagnosed with GAD, ADHD, Panic disorder and as far as a formal diagnosis that's it. A therapist I had recently told me she was going to treat me for PTSD based off of experiences of things I've told her. I've had a long string of not so favourable sexual experiences since I was 14 years old, because of how I would spend my time. I never felt particularly traumatized, but I've spent a long time feeling obsessed over my negative experiences.
As a child I was completely death obsessed. I would have panic attacks regularly about my mortality at like, 6 years old and younger. I even famously wrote my own will when I had gotten lotion in my mouth, thinking it'd kill me. I had not experienced any death around me, so I have no idea where it came from. Along with that, I've always been a major hypochondriac. A selective hypochondriac though, because I am also extremely messy and have historically had a hard time with hygiene upkeep. But having unhealthy habits by choice never stopped me from freaking out about its potential results. I've been to medical doctors consistently over my life, for any small ache or pain from worry my body is shutting down. (My parents always joked about how I'm like Bob Wiley from "What About Bob?" ) I've never been told I had anything, other than now a mild rise in my cholesterol.
With these obsessive death and mortality thoughts, I also have other constant intrusive thoughts. A lot of them in my life have been intrusive sexual thoughts. I have a great relationship with my family, and have no memory of being sexually abused as a child by an adult but I've always had intrusive thoughts telling me I was sexually abused by any male family member and I simply can't remember. I highly doubt that, and I did have "sexual experimentation" with other family members who were children that I am not entirely fond of, but that's to the extent of that pre-14.
I had been overly obsessed with boys since I was little also. I always wanted a boyfriend as my #1 life priority. I used to beat myself up over not being pretty enough, I think that's maybe a kind of standard little girl thing, but I would have like a new crush every school year when I was in elementary school. That seems really mild and unimportant, but I even forced myself to like some boys in my class because without a person to concentrate my obsessive thoughts over I felt mostly lost. I finally got a boyfriend in 9th grade when I was 14, and the rest was inevitable. I had boyfriend after boyfriend after boyfriend in a long string for years. I met up with adults and had sexual encounters with them, too. As a teen I was really wanting to be desired, so I tried to do as much as I possibly could. I binged that behaviour like I binge most any other behaviours in my life.
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But honestly my obsession with people doesn't stop at just romantic prospects. Although I am awkward in friendships, I do love to observe people from a distance as much as possible. I love looking into people's windows when I drive by to see what they are doing and spend a lot of time thinking about that. I feel like I'm never truly present in this world, that I'm always deep in my own head about myself or deep in my own head about someone else's life. I don't know if that's maladaptive daydreaming or what, but it is time consuming. These facets of my life have made living a normal life very difficult for me. I struggled severely through school because I couldn't be present in the moment. And am still struggling through college having gone off and on. I struggle in careers because my poor impulse control and paranoia will let me just call out sick more often than not, or say "screw it I quit." Most times I wish I wasn't alive, not that I want to kill myself because I feel like 1. It'd be unimaginably painful 2. It was deeply hurt the people I care a lot about so I feel like I could never. So I'm also often known for sleeping a lot, and I really do enjoy sleep the most.
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And now, as a 27 year old, I feel like I obsessively hoard my life's memories, whether good or bad. I feel like when I'm truly upset I have chronic childhood nostalgia that makes me feel worse, and on an average day I just can't stop thinking about any given time in my life. Everything reminds me of everything. I tell the same stories 100 times, I write about them 100 times, I'm constantly thinking of everything I have been through in its totality. That's why when I talked to my therapist and she asked to discuss my "trauma", it just felt like a normal thing to do, because I had already done it so often.
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I do now heavily consider that this is some form of OCD, although I am not sure of that fact. I am looking to possibly get a psychiatric re-evaluation because I've been with the same psychiatrist since I was in middle school, but I'm without insurance and a job currently, so I can't really afford it at the moment.
Currently I am in obsessively worrying overload, with COVID, my grandma dying, my other grandma sick, and my dad just not being in general good health. I'm worrying about my declining health while simultaneously not doing much to help myself. I need to eat better and exercise, and sometimes I'll do some of that, but most of the time I'll lay on the couch and play games and sleep because I'm constantly feeling like I'm on edge. There never seems to be a real break, even when I have all the free time in the world.
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I don't know what I do from here. I honestly feel directionless and like I'm struggling just to get through each day alive | OCD |
**TW for mention of possible sexual abuse**
This is the weirdest post I think I'll ever write but I've been looking for answers. First off, I have pretty bad intrusive thoughts and this could easily be me obsessing over one but another opinion would help a lot.
I have pretty bad trauma from both parents (mom is mentally ill + addict, dad is alcoholic + anger issues, both = verbally abusive). For some reason whenever I think about either of them I get a weird sensation.. down there. It's not sexual arousal but more so a weird discomfort and I don't know if that's normal or if I'm twisted.? I don't believe I've ever been sexually abused, but my sexuality has always been shamed by them (clothes, boyfriend, e.g.). Either way, I'm not sure anything sexual is to blame for the feeling so I don't know why it's happening.
It could all simply be intrusive or maybe I'm reading into it too much. Still, I feel so disgusting and I don't know how to address it to anyone. Could anyone share input or tell me this is a normal occurrence no one talks about? Anything is super appreciated, thanks!
If anyone knows better subs to put this under that'd be helpful too, I just couldn't find anywhere else. | ptsd |
I know this will sound horrible- and I really hope I’m not the only one having this thought. But does anyone else sometimes wish their OCD was another type. Like you have HOCD but you wish you had hand washing OCD because it “seems easier”. | OCD |
Hey all. I'm having a pretty difficult time. My grandma just passed away and my trauma is mixed up in it.
I was groomed by my 28 year old cousin at 16. I thought it was love, but clearly looking back it wasn't. Our first interaction was him groping me. That's also how he decided to "tell me" he liked me. We went on to have a 9 month long "relationship" where we met in secret multiple times and he took my virginity.
Anyhow, I'm processing and working through my trauma with the goal to tell my story. I'm so frustrated that my trauma is playing a role in losing my grandma. I'm so angry at him for what he did. I'm furious at all the hurt he caused me, and now the baggage I carry. I hate that now I have this overwhelming need to tell my story, and I hate that I don't want him to hurt. | ptsd |
okay, this is going to be tough to explain.
i only recently have started noticing compulsions. the most frustrating compulsions i have involve stretching, flexing, or otherwise moving certain joints and muscles in order to “relieve tension.”
but over the past few weeks, i’ve noticed that when i am specifically thinking about them, i start having them even more? like instead of doing two stretches in my neck every so often, i start doing the stretch uncontrollably 9 or 10 times.
does anyone else have an experience like this? | OCD |
I'm recently diagnosed and the more i observe my behaviour the more it lines up with my diagnosis, it's extremely interesting. I was thinking about how my taste in music ranges *SO* drastically, like my playlist is always a huge cluster of drastically different things that all reach the same intensity, i never understood how people could willingly listen to a boring song.
For example, i listen to a *lot* of extremely depressing songs (think gut wrenching lyrics, songs about s\*icide or heartbreak) and then i can immediately switch to a hyper-sexual EDM fast tempo song about sex or doing drugs/partying. I go from one extreme to the other and i love it that way, i only listen to songs more than once if they make me feel some kind of intense emotion which could explain why whenever a song doesn't fit into those two extremes i instantly forget how the song goes.
I also like to skip to the parts that make me feel the most sad/energised and replay it over and over until i get tired, just trying to squeeze out as much dopamine as possible.
Just an observation. Anyone else? | ADHD |
I don’t count how often these thoughts come in. They happen all the time. I am a slave to this condition. | OCD |
I find my self ugly af, and in my 23 years of life no opposite gender shown any interest on me. But thats not my main problem. I am always lack of natural talent at any fucking thing i do. Football, basket ball, tennis any sports i played for a period of time, i am basicly SUCK at it. Video games for example, i played 600 hours of some fighting game with passion but i never be able to get good at it. Than my friend bought the game, played like 150 hours and started to beat the shit out of me. Same goes for other types of video games. Doesnt matter how long i play, i cant progress at all, i'd be stuck at my limit at some point. My reaction time is sucks, my strategies is always sucks, anything i do never ends good. Also my relationships with people are sucks too. I am boring, quiet and introverted. I have no best friend, no friend group, no social life at all. Like fuck me man. Whats the point of living when you cant do shit properly. I basicly have no self esteem because i know i will be suck at anything i do, I FUCKİNG HATE MY SELF AT EVERY ASPECT you can think of | depression |
I woke up at 10, hoping to get some work done and eat breakfast. I got finished at 11:30, and I absolutely have no idea where the hours went, but I cancelled plans with my mom and sister for 2 because I really didn't feel up for it and I needed to get work done today. After that, I spent another 2 hours playing Minecraft and 1 hour doing non-productive coding until it was time to go shopping at 5 for food. I got home at 6:30, started cooking and that ended at 7:30. Then I started Spider-Man Homecoming in preparation for Spider-Man No Way Home, I watched that until 9. Then I grabbed my math binder, went downstairs, and then before I did literally anything it was 10:15, and I was told to go to bed. Then I wanted to shower quickly do that I still had time to do some assignments, went into the bathroom, and I finally got out of the shower at 11. What the fuck happened, I have 3 math assignments to do and all my time just disappeared.
It's now 11:06 and I've gotta go spend some time working on my math without my parents knowing, because they'd yell at me to go to bed. Rightfully too, I wasted my day.
I've been scrolling this sub for 2 months now, and I feel like I have the symptoms for inattentive ADHD, but I am too scared to bring it up to my mom again. I wasted my entire day and it's all my fault. I'm so stressed out because I'm so behind but I already passed the due dates for all of it. Is this how most people on this sub feel? I haven't even started on a essay that was due 3 months ago. Fuck me | ADHD |
I have been told by many people in my family and by coworkers I work with that I’m really smart. They say that I will be able to achieve great things if I try. I’m a 24 year old female working full time in retail currently thinking about switching majors in college because I can’t figure out what I want to do with my life. I am told by those around me that I am extremely smart but I have an issue with second guessing myself. That I let my anxiety get the best of me and prevent me from doing things. I have always wanted a job in the medical field but have always felt like I won’t measure up. That I am not good enough. This is my second time trying college because my work pays for all of it. Is what people tell you believable? Or are they just bullshitting and setting you up for failure? My stepdad always seems to be the one that will tell me what I can’t do. The reasons why I can’t achieve something. Sometimes I feel like he is the only realist and everyone else is lying, but other times I feel like he just wants to keep me down and I actually COULD BE really smart. What do you guys think? | aspergers |
Since the beginning of the pandemic my ADHD has been absolutely uncontrollable. No more artifical structure in my life has turned me into a potato.
One thing I've noticed though, my relationship with eating has gotten SO much worse. I used to sit down and eat a normal meal, perhaps indulge a little bit *too* much out of fixation, totally normal.
Now, with nothing to do, it doesn't matter how full I am, what time is it or when I last ate. If I even think of food, I'm back in the kitchen. Or if I have a surplus of food on my plate, I still go back and try to finish. I ate half a bag of cashews after finishing a big personal pizza because I just couldn't stop myself.
Its gotten to the point I have unbearable stomach pain regularly. My brain just keeps telling me "KEEP EATING" during a meal or "EAT NOW," when I even think about food, even if I'm still very full from lunch.
I feel like this is an ADHD issue, because I can totally hear my executive disfunction telling me "stop, your stomach is gonna hurt and you need to lose weight"
But my mind continues to say "NO, GO EAT."
Has anyone else had a similar issue? If so, how do you cope? Or is this just an obesity issue..... | ADHD |
i genuinely hate people who say they’re “so ocd” just because they like to be organized. it might be rude to say, but ocd is fucking hard to live with. i constantly get intrusive thoughts that leave me feeling guilty and i ruminate which only leaves me feeling more anxious and guilty.
i don’t understand why anyone would want to say they have ocd. it’s not fun, and it doesn’t make you quirky. i wish people would be more respectful about shit that actually fucks up real people’s lives | OCD |
I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD and started taking medication for two months. I have realized I have been struggling to keep it up ever since I have been on the medication. Does anyone else have this problem? Furthermore, I know I am not supposed to drink coffee or any caffeinated product while being on it but I still do it sometimes due to my love for the taste of coffee not the caffeine. Mostly I drink decaffeinated coffee but sometimes I end up drinking soft drinks or iced coffee which contains caffeine. | ADHD |
Hello everyone I had Many Ocd theme In past (If it's Ocd) ROCD,TOCD Harm Ocd .
Since one year I suffer from POCD around little girls and I am very scared to be one one of them I explain .
I Always loved women (I'm 22y) who have cute face (like baby face ) with dimple ,I found this so cute on a women of my age or an older women .
The problem is that I am so scared to be Pedo because women that I like have baby feature (face ) .
I mean few times , I Saw little girl with the same feature (face , I mean cute )that women of my age and I feel devasted because I found her cute but not in sexual way of course but aesthetically .
So I ruminate a lot,why I love women with cute face ?
This mean I'm Pedo?
I feel Bad that they are little girl who have "cute face " because I love WOMEN with baby face so I am scared that I'm this.
I reassure Myself because I know that I'm not aroused by her sexually and that I love women with curve but I'm scary due to fact that they have same face feature .
I am scared that it's not POCD because when they don't look cute I don't have urge to see If I'm aroused and do compulsion but when they are I feel anxious.
It's Normal to find kid cute sometimes ? Like ohh she is cute ?
Why I love women with so cute face and not women with old face | OCD |
Mine is 23:45 because it's digits are in sequential order and (unlike 12:34) it's a a half "round" time in whole quarter hours. | aspergers |
I take them every morning keep throwing up it’s the worst | depression |
I’m a high functioning aspie (27F) who is finding daily life matters the end all.
I have diagnosed aspergers and anxiety disorder as a background. I am currently in the transition state of moving from one part of Switzerland to another and crazy administrative things I have to do, which I bet are just general and everyone has to do, are making me so annoyed and I don’t want to be a burden on my partner over it all. I instantly go into a bad mood when I have to create documents for leaving my flat share, or have to figure out getting a moving van, or have to talk to any administration people about stuff regarding this.
I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been under a lot of constant stress since basically January of last year (finding a PhD to getting one and having to then find a flat which took just as long). I also get crap from my mom who I care about very much saying I’m causing all my own stress but I can’t seem to keep it out. I don’t know, I know I have a problem with anxiety, and she’s one of those people who thinks you can teach yourself out of it but I don’t see how.
How do you deal with daily life administration problems? | aspergers |
TW: Private parts
Basically, the inside of my pants would rub my private parts, and then me thinking about how much I can’t have it do that, or I can’t think about a certain thing, I ended up thinking about it when it was rubbing me, now I have an extreme urge to just burn my pants and hide in my room forever because I feel like I was “getting off” to what I was thinking about, and I want to throw up because of it, i thought about the thought for way too long, because it seemed like it didn’t really matter, I wasn’t enjoying it, but idk why I was still thinking of it while my pants was going on, but I stopped after 2 steps and immediately stopped my thoughts, I don’t know, am I bad person? | OCD |
i deal with a lot of gory images with my intrusive thoughts, and i’ve never seen anyone else say they see images like that with their ocd. a lot of the time, the images are of myself dead or dying. im just curious if anyone else experiences this? | OCD |
Hi All,
Mine is coming up soon and I am trying to prepare myself. How was it for you after being diagnosed? I am particularly interested in hearing from people who were diagnosed from mid twenties up. | aspergers |
I was just a little child when I got the diagnosis, therefore I don't know much about ADHD in general, respectively what are common traits. With this post, I'd like to seek advice about a few personal character flaws. Maybe you can help me determine if they are because of my ADHD.
*For your interest (and regarding Rule IV) I plan to visit a doctor, I just want to be prepared.*
**Are OCDs common with ADHD?**
I'm kind of obsessed with perfection but not in a normal and healthy way. Especially when I'm working digitally, everything has to be perfect. Pixel perfect. In contradiction, my "offline space" sometimes looks really messy. There are other tics as well, but I learned to live with them.
**The last time I started a personal project was ... ?**
It bothers me to admit, but I can't even remember when I started my last personal project. Useless to say, that I've never finished it. My head is full of creative ideas and I fantasize doing them, but as soon as I could start, I begin procrastinating and never do anything at all.
**According to my friends, I'm a heavy daydreamer.**
My friends often tell me, that I live in my own world. I frequently start a topic out of the blue or zone out during (interesting) conversations. I once had a job interview where I lost the thread. Lucky for me, the interviewer didn't notice anything, but I had to ask "carefully" to repeat, what he said. That's one of my coping strategies, to let people summarize what they said.
**I've a keen eye for minor details.**
I'm often surprised about myself but I tend to notice minor details faster (or at all) than others.
**I rely heavily on lists and notes.**
It's not that I forget everything (I even tend to remember the most useless things), but I rely heavily on lists and notes, otherwise my daily life would hardly be possible. A major problem is, I don't have a common place for them, I just use scrap paper, and often I never find it again.
These are just a few (but IMHO the biggest) flaws / traits I have. Do you have similar experiences? | ADHD |
Honest been over 2 years single and havent found someone of quality, is it even possible without spending either heaps of money out in the city or money in online dating to find something? It also doesn't help I have aspergers and this is difficult in general and this. So if anyone has advice on dating here please lemme know | aspergers |
My cat had kittens about two and a half months ago. She had four kittens. She had a black one, a white one, and two black&white ones. She gave birth to them in my room so I've been sleeping on the couch. This morning my grandparents had woken me up to get ready for school so I went into my room and all I can say is that I damn near fell backwards in shock. The momma cat and the three other kittens had eaten the little white one. It was so docile and pretty and all it wanted to do was cuddle and sleep. I've never seen anything so fucking gruesome. I had already been going down a spiral to the point of relapsing with harming myself, but I've never felt so much genuine aching grief before. I can't get the image out of my head and it's all I've been thinking a out all day. I spent an hour straight just crying on the couch after I found her. I just don't know what to do anymore. | depression |
I have had some realization. I get so scared about my so's behavior, how much they text me, etc. Its a lot more but I'm not comfortable sharing. :)
​
\- Thinking about what to say in conversations. Trying to be like how I was when I first met him and he was laughing and happy with me.
\- Overly caring about humor, checking for fake laughter or a fake smile. If it goes down to quickly I panic and overthink if I'm funny, If they still love me. If there using me.
\- During times after I messed up or a small conflict and he is dry texting me or something, I feel like he doesn't love me anymore. I ask for reassurance (normal? not ocd??) if things are still going to be loving and okay again and if I ruined everything. I panic and cry, uneasy feeling.
\- I overanalyze dry texts and ask for reassurance.
​
It sort of feels uncontrollable. Is this OCD. This isn't reassurance asking but I hope it is so its not just me. Like I cant control it. | OCD |
This question has been rounding my head for a while, and even if I know it might be a very naive way of asking it since it's a question you would only ask to a very close friend, I believe many of us have in some point thought about it.
I (M27) have had a very good sex life within formal relationships, both of them with aspie women who had the very same high sex drive that I had. Time has passed since I broke up with my last girlfriend, and I have no romantic feelings for no one, yet that need for hooking up is still there.
I consider myself a fairly attractive male, never had issues with speaking to women, but now that I look back I always miss the clues that get me to the other side, so I get stuck in the friendship loop lol.
That's why I really needed to ask, to those of you who hook up outside a relationship, which strategies are the best to have an active sex life, even though the social anxiety, etc? | aspergers |
I've been so depressed. My life feels like such a mess, and I keep every emotion inside and it's been building up for a really long time. I have had so many absesnces in school so far this year, most of them unexcused. I've missed a week of school, I want to go back but I feel so behind in everything especially in my physics class. I was supposed to take a test and didn't, I don't understand any of the material and I feel like if I told my teacher he'd just be very disappointed and annoyed with me. Waking up on time for school is hard. And I've just been having so much anxiety about it, and my home life has been terrible and frustrating. I want to go badly, to get away from home, but for some reason I can't. And it's my anxiety. I'm also unable to focus when I do go to school. I just try not to cry. When I look at the papers nothing makes sense anymore, ane I feel like everything is spinning. All I can say is at least I'm not suicidal. It crosses my mind occasionally, that's about it. I wish I could tell my teachers how I've been feeling. Not as an excuse or for less work. I'd just love it if I had someone who understood me and could motivate me a little to go to school. Or a teacher that could help me with my work or just to talk to. | depression |
I've been doing some research about myself because I wanted to know why I have such bad social skills and how I can fix it. Well, one search led to another and eventually I found out about this thing called Asperger's syndrome. I read the description of what it is and I thought, "Hey, that sounds like me". So I took an online test and it said I might have a mild case of Asperger's. Of course, it's an online test so it may be totally wrong, but after watching a few videos and doing more research, I feel more sure that I have Asperger's. I asked my friend if she thought I might have it, and she gave me a flat out no. Basically she brushed it off as I'm just shy. Maybe it's just because we only talk online through text and occasionally through facetime, so she's never really seen me interact with anyone face-to-face.
I want to bring it up to my mom, but I'm scared she'll brush it off like my friend. I don't know what to do. Any advice on what I should do? | aspergers |
Hello friends,
I decided to make this post to get a few things off my chest that I haven’t told anyone. I’m not sure if this is my ADHD-PI symptoms taking over my life or if I’m just lazy. I’ll start with some background on me -
I always considered myself intelligent when growing up. I tested “gifted” at a young age and always did very well on tests (including notoriously unreliable IQ tests). I was that kid in school who’s teachers always said things like “he’s very smart, but why doesn’t he ever turn in the assignments/do the work/study?” They (and myself) were convinced I was just lazy. It felt like I didn’t have the capacity to care enough to do any work. It felt impossible to care, impossible to sit down and put pen to paper.
When I started college, I failed every single class my entire first two semesters. Something about the lack of structure made all of it even more impossible feeling. Mind you, this is when my OCD was at its worst as well, which can probably be blamed for a good portion of my troubles in that time. After one more semester of terrible performance, I was put on academic probation. This was like a wake up call to me. It was like now that I saw a real punishment and real consequence of my actions, I knew I had to try as hard as I could to get back in good standing. For the next two years, I never got a grade below an A. It was like I found my motivation in beating everyone else on tests/assignments. It motivated me greatly and I felt on top of the world because I felt like I was finally living up to my potential. Unfortunately this was all temporary and my last year of college I slacked quite a bit and coasted. But hey, in my eyes I had earned it.
Now comes the part that I’ve never told anyone. In my 7 years in the working world, I’ve probably managed to do about 2 years of actual work, at best. I work as a computer scientist and my deadlines are fairly ambiguous, so I’ve always been able to push deadlines and procrastinate (relatively) undetected. I say relatively because I have never been explicitly disciplined for it, but it has no doubt affected relationships with coworkers and superiors. I even started a new job recently thinking it would give me a fresh start and working on new projects would motivate me to get things done. Wrong. It’s been about a month and a half and I’m quickly sinking into the depths of inadequacy.
Why am I writing this now? After browsing this sub I finally feel less alone and I’m hoping someone else has a similar experience, maybe even some idea as to how I can get better. I fear it will take a drastic disciplinary action to get me back on track, as that’s what it took in the past. The sad part is simply acknowledging that me being fired is a possibility doesn’t even motivate me to be better. I’m stuck. Stuck in this sad, vicious cycle:
“I should get started on project Y”
“Not today though, I’ll definitely start it tomorrow.”
*Extreme anxiety because I realize I’ll never change*
**Repeat. Repeat a thousand times.**
I’m desperate to make a change and be better, but I just can’t seem to want it bad enough. Can’t fathom starting a fight with my executive dysfunction and being victorious.
If anyone made it this far, thank you so much for listening. **Any help/advice is appreciated as I’m not even sure anymore if it’s my ADHD controlling my life or if I’m truly just lazy.** | ADHD |
I think I might be suffering from ROCD and I’ve been putting off finding a therapist for a few months because of the constant battle in my head about whether I might have it or not. I keep thinking what if I don’t have it and if I would just be wasting that person’s time. Will they keep seeing me even if I don’t have OCD? It gets me anxious thinking about it because I don’t have an official diagnosis and I don’t want them thinking that I’m deliberately trying to get a diagnosis from them. I just want them to see and understand WHY I think I have it and then discuss it from there. I know it’s probably perfectly fine to do it but my anxiety and doubt about my suspicions are getting in the way. | OCD |
At this point in life, I have accepted that I am not fated to be loved. Over the years of trying and failure after failure, I know it's not for me. The dreams and thoughts are the hardest thing to fight as of late, however. I constantly think of what it would be like to have someone to come home to, maybe a couple of little ones to also greet me. The dreams are just a vivid depiction of my thoughts. It sometimes hurts because I've put love behind me but the pain sometimes doesn't leave me alone. One day I will pass and not have to deal with this, and that will be a joyous day. | depression |
Hi all, my name's Andrew Gold - I'm a journalist and documentary maker who suffered terribly with OCD.
I am pitching a project for me to make with Louis Theroux's production company. And would like to interview somebody UK-based who is suffering - or suffered with - POCD.
Please do get in touch if you'd be willing to be interviewed, or just want to hear more. Of course, any messages I receive will be treated with anonymity, unless you say otherwise.
Thanks for your time,
Andrew
\--
Here's my reel by the way: [https://vimeo.com/136779896](https://vimeo.com/136779896) | OCD |
I've been researching and doing a lot of thinking lately. What I once thought that I was 'on the spectrum' I'm now starting to realise it may be more than that. I've struggled to get through life (I'm 27), I thought it would someday just click. As a child I would have tantrums and mood swings over very small things. As a teenager I always felt like the odd one out, even in my group of misfit friends. I struggle to pay attention in class, I was predicted As but achieved C's and Bs. I've realised I think I've learnt my 'empathy', I'm an emotional person but I have to 'switch it on' when trying to understand what to do/say when someone is upset. I take things very literally and have to always think about whether I am or not. I've struggled to understand why my past relationship partners have been upset with me. As an adult I failed university for struggling to wash and being too embarrassed to go. Also problems with punctuality, once I'm late, I'm not going. Then I would never speak to a lecturer about my issues. Now I'm finding it hard to get a job that I could actually see myself doing without imploding in some way..
I've talked to my mum about this recently and I've realised that she's always come up with excuses for my behaviour.
"You're just shy." "You just lack some confidence." "I feel that way too, we all feel like that sometimes."
I love her to pieces, she's very caring. But I feel like I'm not being fully understood here and it's lead to many problems now in my later. My dad doesn't understand mental illness, he sees everything in a black on white "you're either mental or you ain't" - in his own words.
Anyone else have trouble with this? I'm very grateful of the understand people in this sub-reddit. I want to pursue a diagnosis, or atleast to understand where my problems come from. While my parents support me in other ways, it would be nice to have their support on this.. | aspergers |
.. just some thoughts, maybe someone can relate.
Went from endless loops of thought circles to shattered brain fog.
Although I feel like I couldn’t function at all without medication it still doesn’t feel right.
A grown person shouldn’t have to put so much effort into basic tasks without feeling like a lazy piece of shit all the time.
What annoys me the most though is my self loathing mindset. Some days I almost feel high when getting my shit together and wanting to save the world, being convinced to become that Type A person after all, finally living up to my potential.
Then it crashes..
It’s never linear. I wanna be able to complain without feeling like a victim of my own self sabotaging thoughts. But then again, I wanna build the strength to put myself together again. Be stronger than my demons.
I wanna wake up well rested, starting my day right. But deep down I want to stay in bed all the time, isolating myself.
My therapists tells me that the lifestyle I aspire to have is only what society sees as good and structured, I shouldn’t be so hard on myself.
I don’t know. I don’t need to be perfect, I’m aware social media is fake.
I just want to function and be balanced. My ADHD interferes with everything. Work, friends, family.. my brain can’t decide what it’s gonna be for the day. | ADHD |
The phrase “fake it till you make it” goes against every fiber of my being.
Some examples: I’m teaching myself to cook. Instead of trying out a few recipes, I collect dozens of books on cooking, read them cover to cover, make notes, spend hours online downloading literally hundreds of recipes and categorizing them all, watching YouTube how-to videos, and buying every possible kitchen accessory and appliance I might need, before even trying out one recipe.
I’ve always wanted to compose music. Instead of composing music I’ve spent over a decade studying music theory. I’ve read dozens of books on music theory, I’ve taken several college courses on music theory, I got a masters in music, I’ve read even more arcane books on theory, I’ve made hundreds of diagrams and spreadsheets for myself that illustrate different concepts in music theory, and yet I’ve only composed maybe three pieces my whole life. I never feel ready. There’s always something I feel like I have to study from every angle first before I can commit to composing for real. 😑 | aspergers |
For example, at night I try to calculate every movement in seconds how long time I brush teeth, then how long time I walk from bathroom to kitchen, then how long time I pour water in glass and then how long time I get under bed...? :D | aspergers |
After being on Concerta for the few months after diagnosis (26m) , I recently had a trial with Vyvanse, but have since gone back to Concerta. I wondered if anyone could offer any advice on how they knew which was the right med for them (I appreciate its a tough process) . Just wondered if anyone had tried both, and what your opinions on the 2 of them are compared?
Here is what I noticed so far :
Concerta
\- Find it much easier to sit still (big positive)
\- Can study
\- Brain 'quiet' at times (Finally!)
\- Heart rate can be high. Can also at times get palpitations
\- Unfortunately doesn't last too long
Vyvanse
\- A much more 'wired' feeling. Did make it easy to do basic chores (did help me get out of the house and moving nice and quickly in the morning)
\- Much more social (maybe a tad of Euphoria involved)
\- Tough to get to sleep whatsoever (even on low dose)
\- Definitely helped focus - but like I say in a more 'wired' fashion. | ADHD |
I have harm ocd. I'll get this feeling of "other people have ocd. This is you and you know it." And it feels real. Then I'll get this "how could you not act on it?" Feeling when that's the last thing I actually want. I dont understand the intrusive feelings, the feeling of confusion even though I know I dont want these things, it's awful. I cant believe this is the rest of my life. | OCD |
I'm only 28 and nothing is worth anything anymore.
I'm only admitting it here for the first time, but I've been in a deep depression for at least year now. A psychologist 12 months ago stated I have depression and a counsellor 4 months ago restated this.
Since discovering my husband's infidelity that has been happening since we met, I've lost my friends and family, I've realised my career is a joke my mother forced me into so I could be like her own grandmother, and my physical health has taken a massive plunge into incurable illnesses.
Who am I to my mother?
- My sister, although not intelligent like her
- My mother, although not attractive like her
- My great grandmother, although not successful like her
Who am I to my father?
- A child to neglect
- A child to abuse
- A child to walk away from
Who am I to my older sister?
- An abusive monster
- An aggressive controller
- An immature bratty child
Who am I to my husband?
- An ugly fatty
- An unlovable spouse
- An ungrateful and lazy partner
Who am I to my previous best friend?
- Someone that wasn't empathic enough to her
- Someone that could never be as great as her
- Someone that never deserved my relationships and friendships
All of those that I have ever let love me and I truly loved back, all of those that I have exposed my true self to, all of those that I have ever trusted. All of them, without fail, have come to the conclusion of **I am a monster**.
Given this is what I am.
Given my own family cheered for my husband to leave me.
Given my own friends have wished me ill.
Given my own husband has chosen others over me.
Given my failed career despite 12 years of studies and work.
Given all of this, what is there left for this world to give me?
(Please note, I'm not actively suicidal right now, I'm just depressed. Although I wouldn't be opposed to a lighting bolt just randomly striking me down for good right now) | depression |
So I'm pretty knowledgeable when it comes to health & fitness. I know how to track calories and lift weights/ walk etc. I've been lifting weights for about 4 years now.
But do you guys have any Fasting advice? I'm asking this subreddit because y'all might have more insight into this issue since it involves adhd.
This year I did the one thing no one with ADHD should ever do without a gym brah to hold you accountable... I bulked. Ever since last week (when i hit my goal) I've been trying to cut. But even though I try to track my calories, I end up eating up all of my calories too early in the day. By early I mean by 4-5 pm lol.
Please share tips/Advice on how to combat Impulsive eating & how to get through a fast.
Note: I'm not talking about unhealthy fasting. I've eaten far more than enough calories to hold me down. I just need some tips so I can make it to bed before I give in to impulse and eat. | ADHD |
When people start asking me these questions I used to get overly anxious or depressed as if things were running out of time or that i missed out on alot of my life.
In the beginning during my highschool years, i was anti social and i wasted alot of time, and i also hung around the wrong and very bad people who only brought me down which only made me more anti social. Now fast forward im 28, barely starting to get back out there and now im working on myself (weight lifting, clothes, haircut etc....) | depression |
I grew up in an abusive home where I was constantly threatened, intimidated, made to feel worthless and physically struck on a regular basis. I grew up completely isolated with my only friend until I turned 18 being a Chihuahua. I didn't make my first real, HUMAN friend until I was legally an adult.
​
Nothing I did was ever good enough for my family. Everything I did was always "wrong" or "not enough," and any time I set even a TOENAIL out of line, I was met with cruel retribution for it. Even after finally getting away from them, I'm still miserable.
​
And over the past two years, it's like everyone and their mother has done their DAMNDEST to stab me in the back at every opportunity, capping off with my first friend betraying me and sabotaging my relationship with my best friend, and sharing something I'd told him in confidence after I'd explicitly made it clear that what I was telling him was NOT to leave the confines of that particular conversation.
​
I can't trust anyone. They all just lie and stab me in the back in the end. Fake motherfuckers who'll tell me they care to my face and then talk shit about me behind my back like it's going out of fuckin' style. Liars who just abandon me at the first opportunity. People who promise they'll never leave me and then proceed to fucking LEAVE ME.
​
And my god. My fucking GOD. I am so, SO fucking SICK of all the cringe-y, nonsense "self-help" crap that gets spewed around.
​
"Pursue a passion."
​
"Find a hobby."
​
"Love yourself."
​
Oh, and my absolute LEAST fucking favorite: "Go to the gym."
​
Shut up. Shut UP. Shut the FUCK up. Fuck off. Go to hell. Stop giving me unhelpful, worthless, utterly BULLSHIT advice that does me absolutely NO good. I'm tired of the fucking platitudes. I'm tired of the damn LIES. I don't have "ambition." I don't have "dreams." I don't want to expend effort on nonsense. The only thing I want to do when I come home from work is play video games. The ONLY thing I want from life is a home where I can feel safe and loved with someone who cares for me as much as I do him. Nothing else in the world matters to me but that. Everything else is just a fat ass fucking waste of time as far as I'm concerned.
​
I don't want a "dream job." I don't dream of fucking labor. I'm not interested in "learning a fucking skill." I don't "do" physical activity, my weak heart literally cannot handle strenuous activity and I utterly despise exercise, so don't even waste my damn time with the gym garbage.
​
And loving myself doesn't change the fact I'm completely, utterly, ENTIRELY alone. It doesn't change the fact that the ONE THING I want from life is completely out of my reach and shows no signs of changing any time in the near future.
​
Therapy's entirely inaccessible to me. Far too fucking expensive for MY impoverished ass to ever afford. So I get to live with the baggage of BPD, AVPD, Depression and ADHD all at once. No hope of ever having the things I want. No hope of ever being loved by someone. My body is shit, so I've only got a little over a decade tops left to live anyway. Known all my life that I have an expiration date, and it bothers me more and more as the years roll onward. My life's passing me by at warp-speed and I've still never been genuinely loved or wanted by another person that wasn't my own mom.
​
Born alone and I'll die alone. All my life is, is just me killing time until my poor health kills me sometime within the next 10-15 years. Why even try? Why not just cut out the middleman and end the suffering now so I don't have to feel like this for what little remains of my life...?
​
I just want someone to love me... I just want to be wanted and needed... That's all I want... I'm so tired... I'm so tired of people abandoning me... I NEED someone to love me...
​
I'd rather be dead than spend the rest of my short life hurting like this... I feel so hollow... | depression |
The other night I made a horrible mistake and left something on the oven while I took my dog outside. My son was asleep upstairs and my husband was at work. It started a huge kitchen fire and did a lot of damage. I was lucky to have neighbors put out the fire before it spread to the attached house and engulfed both in flames. My neighbors were amazing and helped me get my son and cat out. I can’t get past the guilt I feel. I could have lost my son. I received a lot of smoke inhalation getting him and my cat out. I could have caused my neighbors house to catch on fire with their 3 kids and 3 dogs. I don’t know how to forgive myself for this and feel like the worst person. I’m so thankful that all we lost were material things. I can’t get the flames out of my mind. My beautiful home is a wreck now. My husband has been cleaning all of our stuff up while I watch our son. I feel awful that I put this burden on him. We’ve been getting so much help and I don’t feel like I deserve it. I don’t know how anyone can like me or love me at this point. | ptsd |
I’ve never been a very religious person, but I think there’s something out there, and I just happen to call whatever that thing is, God because that’s what everyone else calls it. I also believe in karma as a general concept. Recently however I’ve been obsessing over bad things I do no matter how major or minor, and sometimes not even bad things at all. I feel like when I have a good day it’s all because I did something good and god is rewarding me, and when I have a bad day I did something particularly bad, and whatever bad thing is happening is God’s way of punishing me. I’m having a lot of trouble differentiating in my mind what is OCD and what really might be karma/god. It’s causing a lot of stress and I’d love to hear if others have experienced anything similar. Btw I’m from a Jew-ish family and I know Old Testament god can be vengeful, but I don’t even know if that’s the same god I believe in. | OCD |
I cant stop thinking about it lately.
I was high on cocaine all the time back then ( a year ago ), ontop of being an alcoholic and depressed and suicidal. Always cutting myself and that.
I had a paramedic guy in my house, I called them because I was worried I was overdosing on cocaine at the time. He was asking me about things and I was explaining (while drunk and in no way sane) how depressed and suicidal I was and how I wanted to kill myself. He went on to say that Im not going to actually do it, and in some kind of crazy "prove my point" way, I said, "okay fine" then I went to kitchen and pulled out a kitchen knife, and I am pretty sure I was going to do it, but ill never know - he grabs my arm and wrestles it off of me. It all happened so quickly at the time but now when I think about it I can remember actually wrestling with a paramedic for a few minutes over a knife. I couldve easily accidently stabbed him or myself.
I was then arrested and taken to hospital, and spent about 3 hours sobering up in handcuffs on a bed in the hallway while people were watching me shouting about how I was suicidal and while I tried to cut my wrists by pulling on the handcuffs as much as possible?
I cant rationalise in my brain why the hell i would be doing any of these things. Ive also had so many other simular experiences of madness, but none as bad as that one.
From the start of it till the end, its all delusional to me. I cant understand and yet I can remember it like it was yesterday. I dont know Im ever going to get over something I did when I cant understand what brought me to that level of madness. | ptsd |
So Since I was younger I had a hard time empathizing with other people. I could put myself in their shoes and be supportive but deep down I don’t understand Why someone would react a certain way to something so small. (What I mean by small is something that is most likely alien to me or something I never experienced) now I have gotten better and realized people react to different situations differently and some peoples “worst” is going to be a lot easier then what I went through even though for them it’s terrible. I learned not to be little people’s fears and anxiety because I have my own crazy stuff. Anyway I’m just curious if ocd and anxiety can make you desensitized to other people. It’s stuff like this that make me wonder if I truly am a bad person or somewhere on the ASPD spectrum (and make my ocd worse) but i just want to know if ocd or anxiety has something to do with that or is it just myself being cold. Any way thanks for reading | OCD |
If you need someone to talk to about anything that’s going on in your life, feel free to message me and I’ll do the best I can to help you, just let you vent or whatever you need. There’s no judgments here :) I’ve been through a lot in 31 years and we can talk more if you need someone. | ptsd |
Before I got diagnosed in my late thirties, I thought that I was very different than anybody else. Sometimes the differences made socialising difficult but they also gave me the strong sense of identity.
Since my diagnosis, I keep hearing from my doctor and therapist, that my behaviours and feelings are very typical for ADHD (I have the combined type). I struggle to see anything that makes me the individual which isn't ADHD symptom. | ADHD |
I am trying to get the hell I need because my leadership denied me medical treatment for clinically diagnosed PTSD. They are trying to deny me BA benefits and kick me out. https://www.change.org/Pardonahero | ptsd |
Hey all, I’ve seen it mentioned by a few people about losing friends bc of adhd and that’s very much my case. Growing up I cared so much about who my friends were and how many friends I had, I would actively seek out friends and woo them (for lack of a better term) but for one reason or another like my lack of a filter, my lateness, my messiness? who knows what else, I lost touch with everyone. Now as an adult, I realize how much of an introvert I am and realize it was my anxiety/desperation to not be alone that was driving me to be social. I’m lucky that I have my husband who is my best friend we have a wonderful son, I have siblings and a close family but I honestly don’t have any friends. I’m just realizing this more and more now. Before covid even I never really wanted to be social, people just stopped asking. Most of the time I don’t care but recently, I graduated from school and am about to start a new career, and recently it was my birthday while there were a few generic “miss you let’s get together” or let’s celebrate messages but nothing real. No one besides my family wants to hang out with or celebrate me. It’s a pretty sad realization. It’s a blow to my self esteem. I know I’m lucky to have my husband and family and I know friendship works both ways but I just feel like I’m a totally different person than before I got diagnosed and treated for adhd. So I am now a middle aged woman with no friends. Not sure how to accept that without being a bit hurt and bitter. I feel like this realization might make me more awkward! | ADHD |
I'm not an avid runner but I did cross country throughout high school and still enjoy it now. When I start running again each spring, my OCD takes over and I am affected by my routines and rituals more than ever. I think it also sort of triggers (I'm sorry if that's not the correct word) my obsessive eating habits // restrictions. (I think related to an eating disorder.) | OCD |
The one thing that has been holding me back in my OCD recovery is sometimes when i am feeling sad my mind says things such as "nothing in life matters, you might as well go out and do something bad". These thoughts have been scaring me and because they are not "what if" thoughts like my OCD usually is, it is making me question whether or not it is OCD, so making it very hard to move on.
Any suggestion on how to deal with this? | OCD |
ive always had problems with speaking way too loud or way too quiet. im fully aware but for whatever reason my brain just refuses to let me talk at an appropriate sound level. people say im annoying and ive been bullied and left out of friend groups because of this. every Sunday my throat is hurting and i cant speak. how do i control how loud i talk? it feels so horrible, everything i say either causes me pain on the weekend or i have to repeat it a thousand times. should i just stop talking altogether and start writing my words down?
(bonus: how do i stop impulse speaking? i hate being perceived as an extrovert when social interaction makes me wanna curl up into a ball and cry.) | ADHD |
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