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been on lexapro 20 mg for a few years. had a terrible last 7-8 months with Depression / OCD / Anxiety.
Started clomipramine 50 mg 5 weeks ago. Intrusive thoughts and ruminating is a bit better but general anxiety is not. The norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor part of this med makes no sense to me. To treat OCD/anxiety, why tf would you want to increase norepinephrine? | OCD |
So, despite my severe contamination OCD, and the absurd amount of times I wash my hands in a day, I still somehow managed to get sick. Dont know how, as I avoid touching just about anything that \*might\* have germs on them. Maybe this will give my brain the idea that "hey, I'm doing all this stuff, but its not helping... maybe I should stop?"
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Idk, might not be funny to anyone else | OCD |
I’m currently waiting assessment for ADHD, so I’m currently unmedicated. I’ve been trying to clean my room for months, but I keep procrastinating it. However, when I actually start cleaning, I get distracted really easily and just can’t keep up with it. My room is full of trash and it’s definitely way out of hand now. I can usually stay more focused on cleaning if I’m doing it with someone, but I have nobody who’s helped.
Anyway, how do you guys keep up with housework and keep on task? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. | ADHD |
I didn’t really get sick as a kid - like, actually sick. I probably ended up with some kind of mild virus once a year, but that was it.
But if you asked my parents, they would probably tell you I was sick all the time… because I’m pretty sure that boredom made me nauseous.
Church? Nausea. The opera? Nausea. Every family gathering ever? Nausea. Grocery shopping, car rides, movies, waiting in lines - I would always tell my mom “I don’t feel good.” I don’t think I was faking it, either. I honestly remember feeling sick at a lot of these things. I don’t have stomach issues as an adult, so I doubt it could have been a chronic GI thing that just… went away.
God, I feel like this sounds insane. Is this even possible? Does anyone else relate? | ADHD |
Hi guys. First time posting here. Haven't had a flashback in over two years, my life's going great (comparatively), etc, but the nightmares have never slowed down.
I've used cannabis with FANTASTIC results to treat them for over five years, with long breaks here and there for various reasons. I take two to three tokes before bed and sleep without waking up in fear and disgust, or feeling disturbed the entire next day. It's fantastic. It's the only time I use except for rare occasions when the kids are gone and I have the house to myself. But I'm pregnant again and I'm so damn exhausted. I'll lay in bed "sleeping" for nine hours and feel completely unrested. They're relentless and sometimes I can't get a particularly bad one out of my mind for DAYS. The feelings of worthlessness and paranoia are steadily mounting again and I think this has a lot to do with it, combined with my hormones.
I've tried meditation before bed and after waking up at night, sleeping medication my baby doc approved that made them more vivid, incense, various teas, etc. I even re-tried all the diet changes that I tried with no success years ago. No dice. My OB doesn't seem to be taking me seriously, which I'm used to. Pretty sure he thinks I'm whining because I can't get stoned but I don't even use recreationally save for maybe a couple times a month. But whatever. I'm used to being treated like I'm making it up. Things have to be *bad* before I'll even mention any problems.
Does anyone have suggestions I haven't tried? Anything. I'm so tired. | ptsd |
I tend to keep making the same mistakes over and over, no matter how many times I've been through the situation or how much I intend to do things different the next time around. I'm beginning to wonder if this is possibly an aspie thing. The repetitive behavior perhaps. I can't seem to change, even in this regard when it comes to things I need or want to be doing different. I'm the same way with things that are not mistakes. My brain seems wired to just want to do things the same way over and over again. | aspergers |
i lost my job when the pandemic started and got really pretty unemployment funds up until this september. its given me a really good chunk of savings - enough to take my time getting back to work now that ive just moved out of my abusive home.
but during the pandemic i also spent hundreds - likely thousands - on frivolous things because i was scared of making big but worthy purchases , or ideas that went bad. i still have a good chunk of savings but i couldve had thousands more, and as 20 year old im scared because my future feels so uncertain that i feel like i wasted financial stability ill never have again. how do you deal w the guilt of wasted money? | ADHD |
So I’ve felt like a guy my whole life and now all of the sudden I can’t stop thinking that I might be a girl. But the thing is I feel really comfortable being a guy and I love my male body but the thought won’t leave my head. I don’t want to be a girl. These thoughts seem to come in my head a lot and I can’t get them to stop.
I just got over HOCD and I’m really worried that I have tocd. And I’m even more worried that I might be trans because I don’t want to be trans, I have nothing against it but I don’t feel that’s who I am. It’s just these thoughts that are trying to convince me of it.
I really need help trying to figure out what it is, trans or tocd. | OCD |
So, a bit of background context. I was in an abusive long distance relationship for 7 years. She ended things, I moved states pretty soon after, I got diagnosed with PTSD from her abuse, and I finally cut contact months ago.
Back in January, I started my current job at a homeless shelter. This month officially was the end of my 6 month probationary period, and according to my supervisor I’m in fantastic standing at work.
So anyway, last night I had to deal with an assault. A former client who had long since been barred from the shelter forced his way through, attacked my friend and coworker, and then hit me and our two security guards with pepper spray. Everyone is ok, said client has been arrested, and we’re all pressing charges.
So while the cops were arresting him, all four of us involved were outside filling out statement forms for the cops. We end up swapping “war stories” so to speak, and get on the subject of how many times we’ve been assaulted on the job. Both security guards had something like 2 or 3 in the few years they’ve had the job. In almost two years at the shelter, this was my friend’s first time. For me, it’s the fourth, with a fifth that technically doesn’t count because it was more attempted assault, but I was held against my will by a client who almost hit me with a machete. I got the sense from the three of them that this was a lot for such a short period of time, and it highlighted something that’s been bothering me for a while.
It’s been more than a year since my abusive relationship ended. It’s only been a few months since I cut contact, but in the months before that communication was barely a thing between us anyway. But I’m still struggling to process everything that she did, and the PTSD that resulted from it.
But none of the stuff I’ve been through at work has affected me much. In those six months, I’ve been assaulted those four times, had that machete incident (which is a whole post I made a while ago if y’all are curious, I’m sure it’s in my history or whatever), found a client dead in their room, have been threatened countless times, have saved people who were overdosing or having bad drug trips, have performed life saving services on clients who were non-responsive, have sat with suicidal clients all night to keep them from harming themselves, just basically a whole litany of stuff that all on its own can and should be pretty traumatic.
But at most, I’ve only ever been shaken up for like a day, and then I’m fine. Has anyone else had a similar experience with their diagnosis? I’m definitely going to be bringing this up to my therapist, don’t worry, but I guess I’m worried that this isn’t normal.
Because on the one hand, before this job I never had an exciting life. I was always a pretty timid and anxious person. But, I do remember going through some emergency situations in previous jobs that could be considered traumatic and similarly brushed them all off. But none of them come close to the stuff I’ve been through at this shelter. And on a somewhat similar note, among my ex’s many forms of abuse, violence and physical harm were never one of them. And neither one are things I’ve ever really been subjected to besides typical sibling fights.
So what do y’all think? Did I just get lucky with what I can and can’t tolerate well, or is this a common side effect of CPTSD and PTSD I’m not aware of? | ptsd |
This morning I woke up by overthinking different things. I still keep thinking of things that I used to own from the past and still keep worrying about scratches and other damages on my things. These are two themes that have been bothering me lately and it’s sad that there’s no way for those things to change to they way they used to be with no regrets. Those thoughts and images just keep popping up in my mind and vision at random times which ends up distracting me from doing tasks and hobbies. When I start to overthink/obsess over those things I get headaches with tingles and blurry vision with open and close eye hallucinations. | OCD |
Trying to further my knowledge on OCD and I thought asking people who have it will be more accurate info than just googling a question.
(TW)
With your type of OCD what type of thoughts do you experience that can lead to a compulsion/obsession? | OCD |
Hey everyone.
I have recently been diagnosed with Adult ADHD (m26) and have started taking medication starting with Dexamfetamines and currently Ritalin (40mg current).
When you speak to doctors and read articles/ resources on the internet you are told that the medication improves X,Y,Z but does this differ from person to person?.
When you look at what stimulant based medication functionality it is supposed to keep you focused, on task, prevent fidgetting and distraction.
I took Dex for 1 month to trial it's effectiveness. I felt like sometime it worked and sometimes it didn't. I was finding that I was able to focus better but sometimes I would still find myself fidgetting with objects/my hands, pacing when I was talking to people on the phone and getting distracted by technology/procrastinating.
Is this normal when starting treatment or is this cause for a medication change?. I have also been considering that these things may also be engrained behaivours I have created for myself. No one writes a guide for this.
You get told by everyone that medication is life changing like flicking a light switch in a dark lit room. But I haven't had this light bulb moment, is there something wrong with me?
I feel I should also note that during my one month trial, I was flitting about dosages because I thought it was on demand focus (eg. take 10mg one day and 25mg on another), I think I took 20mg for a maximum of 5 days during the month and paused medication on weekends and a 4 day holiday off. I have changed this to a much more controlled treatment starting at the lowest dosage and increasing every 5 days.
Comparing Ritalin with the Dex, I feel like it's less effective for me. Did I jump to a conclusion too quickly for switching treatment and would it be worth revisiting medication? | ADHD |
During the day I tend to “play” music in my head, it’s kind of annoying. I’m not exactly sure what this is based on but I think it depends on what mood I’m in that day. | aspergers |
Supposedly people say that people with adhd can’t focus on things they like and hyper focus on things they do like. Well I can’t do either :/
You know what I do? I spend hours daydreaming, having conversations alone, imagining that I’m talking to someone else. Like I’m in a movie or something. I want to practice piano but nope, I somehow prefer to live in my head throughout the whole day. | ADHD |
So awhile back maybe 1week ago my therapist wanted to work with me on something I didn’t quite hear what she said because right then I had a major panic attack and completely shut down.
I think it’s called inner child work ? I’m not able to ask her what it was because i see her every two weeks but I’m really curious what it is | ptsd |
So I just recently got diagnosed with ADHD, but I am 40. I tried talking with my mom about it, and she is just so against the idea that I could have it. "I got you tested when you where in school" and other things making it sound like I am trashing her parenting, but I am not. I understand how I fell through the cracks. I grew up lower middle class in Appalachia it's not like the schools here are amazing, and the mental health help is worse.
I just don't know why I am getting so much backlash. I got it when my daughter was diagnosed, and when my son was diagnosed. I am just so tired of fighting my family. Is it that wrong for me to look for help? | ADHD |
So as well as having ASD, I have a few mental health problems, one of them being Agoraphobia. I have periods where I can leave the house & those where I don't leave the house for weeks. (Currently in one of those.) But am trying to combat it.
I was watching a BBC documentary last night about Autism and a woman was getting tested for ASD - In her assessment she mentioned how she didn't leave the house on a regular basis for around 8 years.
This really struck me because my agoraphobia (though not completely housebound) has been really rampant for around 2 years now. A lot of the time I don't leave the house because I either have no "reason" to or I don't have the motivation too. Though anxiety still plays a role, since the pandemic the first two reasons have been a big part of it.
I’m not denying I have anxiety (I also want to get assessed for ADHD), but could it also be an executive dysfunction issue as well? Would that then in theory make my agoraphobia more difficult to treat? Has anyone else here with agoraphobia or severe anxiety thought/found this?
**FYI: I’m not asking for medical advice, just trying to see if I’m not alone in this feeling**
**TLDR: Have suffered with agoraphobia for 2 years. Could my not wanting to leave the house be a issue with executive function as well as anxiety?** | aspergers |
I'm tired of people acting/telling me that what I'm dealing with isn't a big deal and I need to stop looking at it from such a downer perspective when they aren't even the ones going throught it... | ptsd |
I find myself incredibly restless yet numb at the same time. Every second of my day is spent coming out of my skin because my brain won’t stop focusing on the next place I have to be or the next thing I have to do and until I get there I’m stressed the fuck out. When I’m at home all I think about is okay I’ll feel better when I’m driving to work but then I get in the car and I’m just as restless so I tell myself okay I’ll feel better at work but then I get to work and all I can think about is god I want to be home but then I get in my car to go home and I can’t even sit still on the drive home because im so goddam restless to get there but then I get home and nothing changes and I just sit on the couch coming out of my skin because I feel like I have to do something I have to go somewhere else but there’s nothing to do because I literally don’t enjoy anything. Everything I used to do that brought me joy, guitar, music, writing, reading, hiking, it doesn’t matter I can’t stand any of it anymore. It’s like im so restless all the time that my brain blew a fuse and just shut off, so my body is restless but my head is numb and doesn’t find joy in anything so im always just anxious about getting to the next thing thinking I’ll feel better then. | depression |
Before I will share with you this video I want to clarify one thing:
I'm not trying to convert you or convince you of anything. I'm not particularly religious myself, even if am a part of this faith.
Now this speech is for those who suffer from this fear of disorder, degradation, chaos... One of the worst things which plagues me since I suffer from OCD is this disdain of degradation. It got so bad that I can't focus anymore. There so much noise in my head and I am even struggling to write this text. The environment around me plays a huge role in my mental peace. If I don't live in a clean, desinfected and tidy environment I simply cannot think and so I fall into the depth of my addiction. Since I lose control of my mind and my environment I let myself into a state of free falling into my addiction...this is essentially a form of self-sabotage.
It seems that not many people can understand my pain and hatred of degradation but I just found this video where a priest talks exactly about the thing that I struggle with - this inner chaos which spreads around me like a plague and ruins everything. And I am so tired... Sometimes I don't even care anymore. Because I am defeated.
But this priest gave me hope. And so I started to clean up my room again. I just hope that I won't get stuck in a loop again. And now I want to share with you his speech. Regardless of your faith or the lack of it I really hope this will help you if you share the same struggle as me.
*https://youtu.be/5v4g08ARt8w* | OCD |
Hi all,
I'm applying for a scholarship specifically for people like us and I need some help looking over my personal statement. Usually I'd turn to friends for this kind of assistance, but most of them don't know I'm autistic.
If you think you can help please send me a DM. I'll need feedback within one week. | aspergers |
I guess "it" is just fun, like as a general concept, but nothing I enjoy is really fun any more, so it's not worth it to do. That makes "it" energy then doesn't it? Whatever | depression |
You watch a movie, and then you suck up the personality of a character. I know this is an autistic thing. Usually the main character, though maybe not always. It’s not super surface level mimicry either. It’s like I feel like the character a little bit. Yesterday, the mimicry happened about 50%. Maybe a bit more than 50%. I only watched clips of the movie this time, but these clips effected me enough that I got into the mimicry. It was a little bit of a glitchy mimicry which I think was due to not actually watching the full movie the way it is meant to be watched. It’s like the movie didn’t effect me quite enough for the mimicry to be working fully. I didn’t get sucked into the universe of movie completely so my mimicry was glitchy. Glitchy meaning that somehow I could still feel some parts of myself that were there before I started watching the clips. Still, though, the lack of dissociation happened. I walked outside, and I could see/maybe feel the world in front of me differently. I was there completely and clearly. The most accurate way to say it is how I already said it, though. I wasn’t dissociating. It’s almost like what I would imagine would happen if all my sensory disregulation went away. This happens every time I suck up a character after I watch a movie. Outside of these post-movie-watching/mimicry occurrences, I’m always dissociating. Brain fog maybe. Maladaptive daydreaming a lot, but still foggy and not totally here when I’m not daydreaming. In the title of this post, I say that the movie-watching/mimicry is “one of” the only things that gets my brain to stop dissociating, but, actually, I really can’t think of anything else that gets me/my brain to not dissociate. | aspergers |
The night before last I got horrible sleep, and not only yesterday paid for it, but today did too. (even though last night's sleep was just fine) I have gotten good at getting my ocd under control when I feel rested enough, but when I am not it is a whole 'nother battle. Any things you suggest I try? (As obviously sleeping during school aint an option) | OCD |
I spent years telling my therapist about how i dreaded (ruminating) over social events endlessly and how the dread was Always worse than the actual event and what actually caused the most distress... it's like my social anxiety is a trigger... let's say there's a social thing that's going to happen...well first I'll experience intrusive thoughts, "what if I act weird or people think my weird, oh no I'll have to talk, what do I do"?!? The anxiety and panic begins to build, and then I obsess and obsess...the obsessing stops if I can find a way to avoid the whole social event all together(avoidance+compulsion). Then the anxiety over ever having to do the social event builds because I'm not facing it head on (erp). In a nutshell this is my cycle with social events. I'm sure that in general this can seem like just social anxiety but I realized that I was responding to the anxiety as I would with other obsessions...i ruminate in effort to solve it, prevent things from happening, or try to find a way to avoid it all together ETC. Then would I caught on to what I was doing I cut myself off from ruminating and told myself, if they think I'm weird oh well. The interaction may be good or bad (accepting uncertainty).. it's weird. I had terrible social anxiety in high school and eventually for the most part all of that fell off to the wayside like an obsession being replaced with another.....it really was all I thought about everyday of high school and eventually the smallest of things became an extreme challenge....so crazy...... | OCD |
TRIGGER WARNING
When I was about 13 my friend sliced his wrists multiple times infront of me and I had to take the blades from him. I could never remember how I got home that day. When this happened, I never told anybody and kept silent for years. I told my mom when I was 16. She didn’t have a huge reaction it was a simple “Really?”
When I was 18 I started thinking about it more and the image consumed my mind and I became very depressed. When I was 19 I went to a psychiatrist and she diagnosed me with PTSD.
My question is why am I just now starting to register it and think about it and has this happened to anyone else? | ptsd |
Intrusive, never-ending thoughts of, "what if everything is wrong?", "what if our rationality can't be trusted?", and "what if we're living in a simulation?". Those kind. You can't even battle this thing with your rationality as it just keeps going on.
I don't have a diagnosis of OCD, but I do have a \*lot\* of tendencies and it's the \*worst\* when it comes to the existential dread. Everything else I can CBT myself and it placates it pretty well, but when it comes to the existential dread it's hard because "if our rationality can't be trusted" then you can't trust CBT. The effect this thing has had on me in the past was pretty bad.
Anyone got any advice? | OCD |
It has been seven straight years I went without single enjoyment. I was diagnosed with severe recurrent depression with psychotic features. I don't don't know what to do. Can anybody help and just if you are wondering I am already on antidepressants. | depression |
I’ve had some dreams that have had things in them that are similar to my intrusive thoughts. They don’t happen very often, but when they do, I usually wake up feeling disgusted with myself. I’m not sure if everyone has nightmares likes this, or if it’s an OCD thing. It really makes my OCD and anxiety worse, because I worry that I’m having these nightmares because I want these things to happen. Does anyone else have this happen?? | OCD |
I’m freaking out right now and like I can’t even deal with this shit. I’m gay and I came out long before my issues with ocd started flaring up but recently I’ve developed SO-OCD and convinced myself I’m straight and that I somehow just want to be “special” or something like that. I’m terrified because I’ve had these dreams where men have been more present then before and that’s convincing me that I’m actually straight because if my brain thinks more about men that must surely be the case. So now I’m deep in a spiral where I’ll constantly check if I’m still attracted to women and check if I’m attracted to men. This all stems from a random dream I had a little while ago and I’m stuck. I don’t even know what to do, never dealt with this before. | OCD |
I've been dealing with severe depression for almost a decade and I was just wondering, does anybody else feel like they start to withdraw from everyone else (even those who might be close to you)? I have tendency to just go into complete isolation. Like a part of feels like I should just move FAR away from everyone else, start raising livestock and have a couple dogs. Anytime I start thinking that way I feel better. Or maybe I should just call it quits...When I start isolating myself I feel like I'm losing my mind. I've come to the point where if I got up and left it would be a positive and not a negative for everyone. Maybe, that's just the depression/anxiety talking, I'm not sure at this point. | depression |
Idek if this is ocd but I feel like an alien or some shit. Like I look at my hands and everything like how am I controlling this I feel so disconnected from the world and I feel like I’m higher than everyone else or something like what are the point of humans and us and stuff. It’s so indescribable idek how to explain it. The other day I was kissing my gf and I’m like I’m just kissing like skin what is the point of this and there were all these weird feelings. | OCD |
Hi! I recently started 20mg celexa and was on it for about a month. At first it was going really well, I was calmer than I’d ever been then I developed pulsatile tinnitus for about a week before noticing my heart rate got up to 133 on this medication while I was SITTING. I had to do breathing exercises to try getting it to 62 but after I stopped the exercises it sped right back up. I stopped taking it a week or so ago immediately after I saw my heart rate that high. Now my heart rate goes from 62 to 100 rapidly still. It’s been constantly staying around 90ish. My heart rate usually sits at 58-75 bpm. I’m freaking terrified and it’s making my anxiety worse.
Does anyone know if this is normal even after discontinuing it? Am I still having this because it takes a few weeks to be completely out of your system? I can’t stop panicking and thinking I need my heart checked but Im terrified of hospitals | ADHD |
My therapist told me today that she thinks it would be a good idea for me to be on medication for my OCD. I am conflicted on if this is a good idea or not. What are your experiences with medication for OCD? | OCD |
Hi,
Through countless searching I cannot seem to find support for PTSD seperate to psychology and psychiatry pay as you go sessions that isn't restricted to a particular niche (Military, Emergency Services, Victims of Sexual Assult etc.)
I am a civilian working for a government organisation to which I suffered a sPTSD injury in the course of my duty (over the course of a couple of years but with the ever so familiar "breaking moment" occuring 2 years 3 weeks ago), I am having a pretty difficult time as my employer is trying to terminate my employment at the moment because of my PTSD (thats a story for another time) and am really trying to plug into some support in my city (Melbourne, Victoria, Australia) whilst awaiting in hospital treatment that I have been referred to (2+ week wait at the moment from what I can tell
Before going further I do not take away from the niche groups, they are absolutely fantastic for people in similar situations to get like-minded familiar support.
All I'm saying is "what about me", where can I go. I have searched.... I believe very thoroughly on the topic of support for over 2 years now, aside from niche groups that I am not eligible to join in, all I found was one support group through the Meetup website who cancelled their meeting an hour before the start time.
Now I am turning to Reddit, I really don't know a lot about Reddit so searched for PTSD in Australia and didn't find a group, I did create a Australian PTSD Reddit group however being conscious of breaking rules I won't link it (to be honest I don't think I'd know how to anyway), have no idea how to promote either so my guess is it may gain traction on its own should people search for the specific criteria.
Not sure if I am asking support from here, redirection to a Reddit group that I have not yet found or even a different site that may give me the direction I am looking for
Thanks for your time
TGSG | ptsd |
Hey everyone. Where do I begin? I've been dealing with PTSD for over ten years now. I've gone through so much, too much it seems like. I'll itemize so y'all can get the whole picture.
-Cancer twice, my wife left me for another man while I was recovering.
-My dad had Leukemia and Colon Cancer.
- I was injured severely (Gunshot Wound) which has left me with lingering flashbacks.
-The deaths of several close friends and family members.
All of that ☝️ was within 10-14 months. There's more, but I don't want to get too wordy. I can feel myswlf shutting down, I'm incredibly lonely because I feel so isolated. How can I relate to people who've never experienced what I've experienced? When they're more concerned with the normal problems that come with being alive, While I have all of this trauma and fear swirling around inside me?
If anyone has any advice, it'd mean the world to me.
Thanks. | ptsd |
My every waking moment is pure unfiltered anxiety from when I wake up to when I fall asleep. I don't really know others with it so hopefully engaging with this community helps, even reading the posts here helps to be honest.
​
Thanks guys | OCD |
Do you ever have just one tiny and sometimes insignifcant thing that just sets off a chain reaction into a massive downturn after you had been having an otherwise okay or so-so day?
That happened to me. I really wanted to eat grapefruit for some reason. So, I walked to the dining hall, but they didn't have any. I ended up sitting down outside and crying over freaking grapefruit, but I couldn't help it. I'm a little better now, but I wish I didn't have sudden wild drops like that. | depression |
I would like to get diagnosed. After somehow ending up on this group a few weeks ago, I have realized several things basically described my life. The lack of motivation, disorganization, my difficulty making friends or keeping them, sleep issues, self image and anxiety etc. Unfortunately I have Kaiser and heard enough about their mental health policies etc to be put off. I do have HSA or the other one. Anyway what is a good program that doesn’t cost a fortune. I know from what I read diagnosis is $149 or so. I am more concerned about medication if I need it since looking at my drug plan it is basically out of pocket since everything is out of network with Kaiser and ongoing care. Any suggestions are much appreciated.
Thank you. | ADHD |
i'm going to start trying to enjoy the hobbies that once made me happy.
the unrelenting assault of automatic thoughts will come but this year i just have to ignore them and not try to rationalize and justify. they are outside of my control and it's ok if they tear me apart, i just need to try really really hard to not entertain them
this year i'm gonna make it. everything will be different. | ptsd |
*{ Okay. This feels very long and ranty and I feel I'm whining a bit, but that's also kinda the point of my issue right now, so here we go. I tried to give examples, as context for why moving out is so essential. Also trying to convince myself it doesn't make me a bad person to do so because of evidence. There's a lot more trauma I won't be mentioning as I feel it'd be too triggering but I've mentioned some of the milder things they do to mess with my head. }*
​
So much of the time my parents trigger me and I have an intense initial response (anger, frustration etc), so ready to make a plan to just go and live somewhere else, and then the trauma exhaustion and resignation kick in and I'm too tired to have any fight left in me and I just switch to **"wow I overreacted and I'm just being overdramatic and a sucky family member"**.
**Is this a normal/common reaction for people with trauma to have?** Or am I really a horrible family member for just wanting to up and leave? I wasn't even allowed to leave the house alone at all until I was a legal adult (and even then wanted to place a tracker in my phone) so I just feel I've been living in their prison for so long but they always turn everything on its head and blame me for everything.
They've spent so much of my life pretending I'm not there when I'm trying to talk to them, flat-out ignoring me or talking over me when I'm trying to tell them about my day when I came home from school, taking no interest in my life except to criticise something the context of which they were too lazy to look away from their phone and listen to (e.g reasons for a slightly low grade), only to complain I never told them things and never spoke to them or spent time around them (due to giving up).
I ended up developing at least 1 extra personality (*not* D.I.D) during 2019 when I was deeply dissociated 24hr a day from the constant, unrelenting stress and trauma my parents caused me (I won't specify). Every day I experienced dissociation, derealisation and depersonalization that has only recently gotten better.
They tried to discourage me from going to university, and now suddenly because I briefly had student accommodation but then had to move back home (thanks COVID), they "missed me loads" and "are so glad I'm back with them". I get paid £3k in student maintenance loans to look after myself and pay my flat's rent and my parents seem to think that money is "basically theirs anyway" and I should give it to them when I already pay them weekly rent too.
I have trauma from years of gaslighting and being controlled to mad degrees, and having them even gaslight me about my own disabilities (physical & learning) and telling me I "just seem to conveniently have an excuse for everything". I've had them interfere with medical appointments, trying to manipulate my doctors into not listening to me and not thinking I had anything wrong with me besides being "lazy and a slob". One minute they say I'm too sick to be allowed to go for a stroll, the next minute apparently I'm not sick at all and I'm just faking my tears of chronic pain and fatigue when I'm unable to clean their house for them (I'm... I'm literally disabled). They frequently call me useless.
My mother listens to phone calls, often rummaged through my things, is generally super invasive and has no respect for privacy. This year she hurriedly returned to me a diary she had stolen from my room when I was around 13. I also have ADHD and struggle severely with sensory processing, and the amount of noise in my house is insane to the point where I end up crying because there isn't a single room where there isn't *someone* shouting or shrieking or singing or shoving things into walls.
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This is absolutely only a fraction of the issues I have with my parents, **so my question is...**
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**I should feel fine about moving away from them, right?**
^(Even for the basic reason of being ... an adult ...) | ptsd |
The weather was so nice today I figured it’s be okay to go for a walk by the river. Normally walking my dog has helped me focus on something and not let rituals get too carried away. My intrusive thoughts had calmed down enough that I was pretty sure I could be fine without headphones.
Less than five minutes later and all I can think about is **THROW YOUR PHONE IN THE WATER THROW YOUR PHONE IN THE WATER THROW YOUR PHONE IN THE WATER**
Couple that with *what if you just let go of Muppet’s leash? you’re know you’re going to drop it and he’s going to run into the water and drown and it’s all going to be your fault and you’ll be arrested and never be allowed near animals again*
I’m so fucking scared I hate living like this. | OCD |
i was in a very emotionaly abusive relationship with a narcissist for almost 4 years and it turned sour the last 3.. he ended up forcing himself on me at one point and made me feel worthless and unlovable at a point and took away my power to say no in every situation then later cheated on me
finally a year after the relationship its finally all sinking in and ive been having terrible emotional flashbacks, dissasociation and depersonalization, horrific anxiety, depression and now beginning to have trouble with intimacy.. im unsure of what to really do because i cant talk to my therapist at the moment and its all getting worse and worse..
i just need guidence on if anyone thinks i have what i think i have.. and what to do, im at a loss and need some advice on how to cope better. | ptsd |
Anyone else have a fear of staring up someone’s skirt or staring into the area where the skirt is open and accidentally seeing their underwear | OCD |
Hi, I really need an advice how to help my mother. She has lost her job, and she also has some health issues. And I am sure that she has depression, she doesn't want to go anywhere, she sleeps most of the day, and she even starts crying randomly. I really want to help her but not sure how to approach her so please give me advices how to help her | depression |
When I post a (looping) gif to Messenger I get kinda stuck watching it going round and round to the point I end up deleting it from chat my end because I get tired of it. Do you get like this with looping things? I can also sometimes get certain lines from a film/show stuck in my head when I'm doing something that doesn't require full attention. | aspergers |
Other then having ADHD, i have anxiety and depression. i’m not new to having severe anxiety but ever since i started my medication it’s been rare i have a “episodes”. I started the new dose of 25mg of adderall on Wednesday. For the past 3 days i have had horrendous anxiety. My chest hurts so much and just recently I started feeling my heart rate pick up but wouldn’t let up.
i just am having a hard time distinguishing what is the medication and what’s outside sources of my anxiety. i’m going through a huge change in my life and i don’t know if it’s that, that’s causing my anxiety or the medication? or can the medication make it so much worse?
the last time we upped the dosage, the “side effects” i felt (feeling really irritable and over stimulated) went away after a week.
when should i contact my doctor? how long should i wait until i contact my doctor? or should i even contact them?
i just don’t know if im over reacting, if it’s my feelings towards what’s going on or what. or if i should give it time to… adjust?? | ADHD |
Hi, this is the first post that I make and don't really now how to explain. Basically, in the last 2 months I've thinking more about suicide, I don't think that I really know why, but it is happening. | depression |
mannnnnn my history teacher told me i passed. i was so happy. this year has been one if the toughest. i’ve been extremely suicidal had numerous anxiety/panic attacks,etc. because of all dat, when he told me i passed, i impulsively stood up n hugged him then CRIED like a BABY on his shoulder. n i mean CRY. “WAAAAAA” DATS LITERALLY THE SOUND I MADE? WHY? WHY? WHY IN FRONT OF THE CLASS WHY WHYWHY GOD IHATE MYSELF SM. i keep replayin the scene in my head. im so angry at myself n idk how to get over it. :((( im going to look for some reassurance on here. i know i shouldnt but ahhhhh :(((((((((( . everyone thinks im stupid n ridiculous sometimes i just want to shut up forever. i need to seriously consider that. ive tried makin a pseudopact of silence but failed. | OCD |
Trigger warning!! This is a question/vent post with mentions of S\*xual assault.
For the longest time, I had only thought I had been emotionally and physically abused. Now i'm getting memories of sexual assault and it scares me. Clues point to the fact I was SA, including a high sex drive at a young age and disturbing play, (like torturing my stuffed animals) at around age 6, but I all racked it off to being a weird kid. Why am I getting these memories right now? I don't understand. Is it possible they are fake memories? These all scare me and I just want to know if what I am remembering is real. I'm scared to find out if it is, because that would mean my twin sister was abused and doesn't remember her trauma as well. She doesn't even remember being hit as a kid.
To be honest, I just want to know if what I'm remembering is real. How can I find out if it is? | ptsd |
all i wanted to do was rant about something so meaningless on a website i can do so anonymously... but i guess im not even capable of doing that as i swear i cant even find my post. so whatever i guess. back to being alone | depression |
I was diagnosed senior year of high school and my meds have changed my life. I’m a productive person now (during the day, at least). I’m now in grad school, but having difficulties getting my meds filled on time. For example, I was told they would be ready by 2 PM today, but they actually won’t be ready until Friday and I can’t get them filled at another location because they’re a controlled substance. I can’t afford to just take these days off, because I have work due soon that I was planning on doing. Normally I would have a few extras, but this has already happened a couple times and I’m officially out. Any tips for staying focused when you can’t access meds? | ADHD |
For christ sake one girl at school out right asked me how big my dick was. Some how I didn't catch on to that.
Another girl came and sat and talked with me for no other apparent reason when I was having my lunch aswell. The same one also asked me to go to prom with her. Granted I twigged on to that but sort of gave a non answer because I was in the middle of a class and trying to maintain my "act natural" demeanour so to speak.
Always really kicked myself with the latter because she was actually really nice. | aspergers |
hey. can't sleep, every night i sleep at like 7-8 am (5 am right now) because my brain can't calm down. recently i've been getting the urge to chew the fabric of my microfiber blanket before sleep every night and just thinking about it makes my body tingle unpleasantly because fabric in my mouth / feeling fabric in general is my least favorite sensation, and that tingling feeling keeps me up for so long as well. i have no idea what to do about it, but does anyone else get this? | OCD |
So in my pursuit of a job that will let me actually live and pay my bills along with not living on the edge of poverty or government assistance, I have quit my job at Kroger due to their crappy wage and working with a skeleton crew.
I was fired from 2 different temp jobs after my first day of working earlier this year due to my inability to learn fast enough and looking disinterested. It’s already hard enough to find employers willing to give me time to learn and improve.
I have thrown over 50 job applications only to be rejected by majority of them.
If there’s anything I learned during my time at Kroger is that having a union is beneficial to make sure you don’t get fired for any bullshit reasons.
I just hate the fact that I feel like I’m reduced to career choices that have a strong union to make sure I don’t get fired. | ADHD |
Hey, was wondering if anyone else goes through this.
I’ve always been a curious person, but sometimes I’ll deep dive through the Internet until I see some of the most effed up stuff that you can imagine. This will be hours long, and often make me feel like I’m so deep down these disturbing rabbit holes that I’m not even in the current reality. Recently, and this has happened before, I’ve been seeing the most disturbing crime imagery of real people being killed or real dead corpses, to seeing videos on the movie “The Human Centipede.”
I’ve always done this, and I always feel pretty weird afterwards, as if I’m not quite there or real. Does this happen to anyone else? If so, how do you handle it? Thanks!! | aspergers |
Im 21 years old and since i recevided medication a few months ago (iapparently i have a mild version of ADHD not the whole syndrome) i was espectig to solve all my simptoms including my apparent dificulty to not undestand logical relations (the inteligence by definition, or at leas the academic inteligence) but the result was just have a better focus capcaity and less necesity of constant estimulation (hyperactiviy) but im still being dumb. This is so sad.
Did some of you become more smart after taking madication or no?
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(sorry for my broke english) | ADHD |
Now before I start I don't hate you. I just hate the shit that you did. You might not think it matters to your kid. But it does, I'm in so much pain.
You called me names and you still do. I'm not useless, retarded, a loser. I know I'm worth more than that. You destroyed my whole self esteem. Now I have nothing, you took it away.
I turned to drugs as a coping mechanism. Then you think you have the fucking right to tell me to stop. You're the cause of my depression, my anxiety, my insecurities.
I don't hate you like I said. I'll always love you but I need to get away. | depression |
An embarrassing affliction I have is how difficult I find it to swallow pills. I know you can sprinkle the contents of adderall into applesauce. But would I be able to either sprinkle the contents into a glass of water or directly into my mouth and wash it down with water?
I’m going to bring the problem up with my therapist and try practicing swallowing vitamin C capsules in the meantime. Hopefully I’ll be able to get over this mental block sooner rather than later. | ADHD |
I don’t want to go into the details, I just need to vent/get support. | OCD |
When I recently got diagnosed with ADHD, I felt slight hesitation from the psychiatrist as if they thought everything is just from undiagnosed anxiety and depression. I've suffered with awful mental health for over 12 year with no support and in our assessment we spoke more about my depressive symptoms rather than the ADHD symptoms from both adulthood and childhood despite it being only an ADHD assessment.
I felt like I didn't get to talk about the symptoms I wanted to. I still got diagnosed with combined type ADHD (their decision I didn't try and convince anything because I was scared of altering the outcome and not getting an accurate diagnosis in terms of whether I have ADHD or not).
I also was offered the choice of either antidepressants/anti anxiety medication or ADHD medication too. I just feel like it wasn't a confident diagnosis and it's left me feeling hesitant to accept the ADHD diagnosis although I've spent so much time trying to get an assessment.
So is there really a way to tell the difference between depression symptoms that present like ADHD or ADHD that has been undiagnosed till adulthood and caused an early onset of depression?
I'm female as well so I don't know if that plays into how my mental health has presented itself too.
Also, does anyone have any experience with having a diagnosis that seemed hesitant?
Thank you in advance | ADHD |
I recently got free credit from Audible so I can get a book from Temple Grandin off my wish list. I ended up getting a book about Medieval Spain because I forgot I had one of Temple's books on my wish list and I am currently interested in Medieval times and Spain. So I decided to wait until my next credit to get that said book.
However, I do want recommendations from you guys. What books do you recommend? I mostly looking for non-fiction (Essays, poetry, etc.) but I'm open to fiction as well. | aspergers |
I know those with ADHD have trouble shutting off their brain at night and I had the idea to start using my apple watch to track my sleep just to see how many hours I really am asleep for. I wear it going to bed and it will be able to tell me on average how long I sleep for. So far I am averaging 5 hours a day, which is pretty normal for me. Honestly I recommend doing this. Not only can I see my sleep hours but I can also see my resting heart rate and raspatory rate while sleeping. Knowing my sleeping habits helps me adjust and I also have a pretty accurate representation to show my doctors.
Another thing I do to help fall asleep is put on YouTube and listen to reddit stories being read aloud. I find it actually relaxing to listen to r/ProRevenge and r/MaliciousCompliance stories and I find I fall asleep super quickly. if you find you have trouble getting sleep, I totally recommend listening to audio books, music, or any sort of story to keep your brain occupied while you try to get some rest. Good luck :D | ADHD |
In the midst of my spiraling out and being desperate, I saw some thing on reddit about the gut and probiotics and that kind of thing
Did anyone here attempt some sort of anti-ocd diet, and did it work?
I mean, I have major picky eating issues so it'd be hard in general, plus with how busy things have been lately most of my dinners are fast food :/ I'm sure at least figuring out a different dinner option would help a bit, but I could use more solid ideas as well
What're the worst things to eat when you have ocd/an anxiety disorder? What're the best things? | OCD |
Anyone have any recommendations? I have a tendency to pick at and destroy all of mine, even otter boxes. Something about the soft silicone is just begging to be dug into with my nails, especially once the surface starts getting a little damaged, it’s like impulse city. I’m not looking for anything that will last me years and years as I know that will be impossible with my tendencies to destroy everything but hopefully something a little cute that lasts longer than my current one, which is dying after a few months. | ADHD |
I mean like multiplayer games where you have to work with other people, like in a first-person shooter game or an MMO.
I always get horribly anxious about playing these types of games. I always worry about whether or not I'm going to end up costing the rest of my team a win or not. For example, in Monster Hunter World, if you die 3 times on a quest it's an automatic fail. I love Monster Hunter but I'm not very good at it, and I have a distinct memory of burning embarrassment of being on a quest with 4 people on a difficult monster for me, and dying 3 times in 5 minutes.
It's even worse for first person shooter games, since most of the good ones have been out for so long, nearly all of the playerbase's skill level will be SIGNIFICANTLY higher than mine. It doesn't help that a lot of those kinds of games have voice chats either. | aspergers |
me and my therapist have been working on me making a narrative of when i was assaulted and i've never been able to talk about/write about the worst part of it, in large part because i so hate the fact that i have to use specific words about specific body parts. i don't want to think about having a body, or for anyone else to acknowledge that i have one either. so i always skip over it in sessions or just completely lose the ability to speak, and i've always just skipped over it in writing too because even saying it to myself was just the worst
but! today, i have been working on this goddamn thing for like five hours and finally managed to write down all those stupid overly intimate body words and what happened to them for the first time. i don't feel great about it, my hands are definitely numb and my eyes keep going kind of blurry and i spent most of that five hours just dissociating at a word document and i had to punch my own arm several times after each difficult word, and i think i'm veering strongly towards the manic side of emotional coping, but either way it didn't *completely* shatter my world to acknowledge it and i wrote it and it's done and i need someone to say "hey, good job!" to me about it so that i can feel like i achieved something instead of just feeling twitchy and over-exposed | ptsd |
Moved house with my fam to a new neighborhood, which I'm happy about, but yeah, it's impossible to perfectly replicate everything I've gotten used to in my old home, and, as one could imagine, my brain is just like "I do not vibe with this" and yeah, my functionality has gone down a bit.
Any ideas on how to make my brain feel a little more at home? Other than time and trying to prioritize my selfcare, of course lol. | aspergers |
I've heard many people with ADHD say that caffeine makes them tired or sleepy, since their brains are wired differently. For me, I find it either does nothing or gives me a small concentration boost. Is the exhaustion the case for everyone, or is it dependent on the person? What do you usually experience?
(This post is unrelated to substituting caffeine for your meds. Please take them!!) | ADHD |
As of now, we are trying to find a psychologist or therapist.
I just want to ask people here on how to deal with people(my brother) who ask reassurances excessively?
Also, he keeps on praying, I think it's called scrupolosity. I dont really know.
I don't know what to do as of now, because we haven't gone to a psychologist or therapist.
I am sorry if I sound stupid. I really am just a 17 year old who wants to help my brother (15 year old) with ocd. Although, I want to help, some part of me wants to give up, because it is exhausting sometimes to deal with his questions. He also is breaking a lot of things and always shouting.
(I am the only one whom my brother talks to. He does not talk to my siblings or parents, meaning I am the only one he talks to all the time, because I think he does not like my parents and pther siblings | OCD |
I don’t know what to do. I was off stimulants last year and ended up quitting my office job and going back to bartending again. But bartending is bad for my sleep schedule and I end up drinking and I need health insurance (all these things are bad for my bipolar) so I don’t want to bartend. Since January I’ve been back on stimulants and working an office job but they can make my mood worse. I feel like I don’t have a good option either way. Just need to rant. Anyone else bipolar here?
I don’t like the side effects of stimulants but it’s the only way I can keep my shit together | ADHD |
Good evening, an extremely close friend of mine suffers from PTSD as a result of being raped some years ago. Lockdown is obviously wreaking havoc on everyone at the moment, but she is struggling quite a bit at the moment. I'm looking for ways of supporting her better than just saying "I always here" or "call me if you need me". As I said I'm, I'm looking for ways to properly support her and to learn some more about PTSD. Any support, help or guidance is greatly appreciated | ptsd |
This is my first time posting. Basically the title says it all. I've been taking generic methylphenidate for the last year with some success. Now I've been prescribed the name brand Concerta though I plan to find a cheaper generic extended release option and that was the plan as discussed with my physician, but unfortunately she prescribed Concerta that's double the price. Regardless, I've had some digestive upset the last year and I suspect it may be due to the dairy in the generic methylphenidate (albeit in very small amounts ). I have severe intolerance when it comes to gluten, dairy, and a few other things. I'd like to know whether there are good options of regular/non-extended release and extended release methylphenidate, whether generic or name brand, that don't have dairy. I'd appreciate the help and thank you in advance. | ADHD |
Preamble *~*~
I have had an ongoing xanax prescription for like 14 years to treat ptsd episodes. I realistically take no more than 2 times a month and often way less than that. It's really for emergencies but when I need it, I really need it. The stress of making sure I have some around, giving doctors the *just right* balance of information that I do in fact need it, but I'm not drug seeking, is such a stressor.
Add that to being prescribed ritalin for the last couple of years, and I've been trying to find an alternative so it doesn't feel like I'm begging for TWO medications on the "ooh are you an addict" top shelf.
Enter clonadine. My psych prescribed it, saying I could take it every day to prevent ptsd symptoms and nightmares.
*~*~ Here's the ADHD INTERESTING PART *~*~
I go to pick up my new scrip and the pharmacist said, ah, this is for your ADHD.
Double take??
Turns out it's an ADHD med too. I have since discussed that with my psychiatrist as well.
I take it every night right before bed because it makes me drowsy. It has a long lasting effect that doesn't exactly make me focus the way ritalin does, but it helps remove *resistance* and it's easier to do things. I have less irritability, almost no emotional disregulation, and it feels like I can think one thought at a time. It gives me coverage when I first wake up and after the ritalin wears off.
Negative side effects for me are some dehydration, dry mouth, occasional bizarre dreams, and a little appetite loss. Waiting on sexual side effects but I haven't had a hot date in a hot minute lol.
Anyway even my friend who likes to nerd out on medications in his quest for the perfect antidepressant hadn't heard of this, and I haven't seen it mentioned in this sub, so I wanted to suggest it as another tool to discuss with your doctor.
My psych said there is an alternative called guanfacine, and generally if you don't react well to one you'll do better with the other.
But mostly I'm happy to have another tool in my kit that manages multiple symptoms for me and isn't an ssri, since I react very poorly to those (but doctors always are suggesting an ssri to me). | ADHD |
Basically what the title says. He sexually assaulted someone (while I was there at the party) I worked up the courage to confront him about it and of course he lied until I showed him the evidence. He said he felt so “guilty” and “dirty” and “ashamed of himself” and said he wanted to apologize and make things right to her. But I just feel like if he was truly sorry and truly wanted to apologize he would’ve done it sooner rather than doing it now that he’s caught. I have so many emotions running through my mind right now. I feel happy I confronted him but I also feel guilty and sad that I might be the reason my friend goes to jail. Also lots of ocd “what if” thoughts about the situation. and somehow my brain has made me believe that I actually told him to assault her and he recorded it and he’s going to expose me as the true assaulter. It’s crazy man | OCD |
Hi all,
26yo male from Australia here. I was using medicinal marijuana for my ptsd for about two and a half years and stopped using it in March. Withdrawals were hellish after being dependant on it for my sanity for the first 12-18 months but I’d made enough progress with an amazing psychotherapist and medication (desvenlafaxine+mirtazapine) that I didn’t want to rely on it for my stability anymore. No ill will toward it; it served its purpose and I’m grateful. Since I stopped I can’t drink coffee (gives me massive anxiety, which sucks, cos I only drank it for the flavour and don’t remember ever getting affected by it), and I’m finding I can’t spend time with my family without being triggered. My parents fidget constantly during tv; constant toe wiggles, toe writhing, foot movements, readjusting, generally unable to sit still, and as a visual indicator of anxiety it makes my nervous system go haywire. I’ve found myself massively self isolating. Partly because I want to do more of my own thing, but largely because it’s triggering. I feel guilty and ashamed at getting triggered by them, even though they’ve been so patient and supportive of my mental breakdown following a traumatic experience. At this point I’m probably going to have to just level with them about what’s going on, as I don’t like being avoidant. So, I’m wondering if I may be being stupid insisting on no marijuana if I was happier and making good progress while using (very responsible amounts, always minimal possible, evening only). I feel tired all the time because my body’s always on edge. I can sleep but don’t think I’m sleeping well. Really torn on what to do. I feel like my progress has slowed since I stopped, but maybe it’s necessary. I don’t want short term relief if it means slower recovery in the long term, and studies are conflicting and potentially influenced by current political agendas/funding. E.g. older studies indicate worse outcomes long term, newer ones indicate…better recovery rate here, no difference there, so who knows. I also don’t know if potentially I’m suffering from PAWS. My dreams are still pretty crazy so that might indicate it, but PTSD symptoms overlap with PAWS like crazy. Any advice or opinions are welcome; bouncing ideas around with myself just isn’t making anything any clearer!
Thanks so much for your time. | ptsd |
Because I am very curious, if there are any non-autists reading this I would love to know what its like. Autism is all I have known and I have never experienced the world in the same way as non-Autists do so its like a whole another world that I have never experienced nor will I ever experience.
Please be as detailed as you'd like about how you sense the world, how you process social interaction, and how do you process your emotions? Of course the experiences you share can be anything you want to share so it doesn't have to be limited to the small list I've mentioned. | aspergers |
I just started taking Vyvanse (20mg) and am trying to determine whether its effective past the \~1 hour rush I get when it kicks in (I know the euphoria should not be mistaken as effectiveness).
With that said I am not sure how much more I should be able to sustain my attention once the initial high is worn off. How often do you find your attention drifting while on Vyvanse or other stimulant medication? Should I be able to maintain focus for a solid hour? Or is it normal to get side tracked by distractions and lose motivation throughout that hour?
Finally, I take it at 8AM and generally find I am feeling back to my old self by 2PM. Is a greater dose going to prolong its effectiveness?
If anyone has any other tips for gauging effectiveness once past the 'high', I would really appreciate it. | ADHD |
Any other PTSD pals with the ability to menstruate struggling way harder on the first day of a period?
Sensations I can weather okay usually are nearly impossible with the extra pain and pressure of a period. | ptsd |
For those who have OCD and have had a UTI (urinary tract infection), have you noticed if your OCD symptoms worsened during the UTI?
I haven't found anything about OCD & UTIs specifically but I found some articles about UTIs affecting people with Alzheimer's or Dementia AND I found some articles about PANDAS & OCD symptoms appearing in children after having an infection (mostly strep).
I had a UTI last week and for the last week and a half, I was having increased frequency and increased disturbing-ness of intrusive thoughts and now that I'm about halfway through my antibiotic course, my intrusive thoughts seem to have lessened again.
Wondering if anyone else has experienced this and if they might be related. I'm meeting with my psychiatrist in a couple of days and plan on mentioning this theory. | OCD |
Lived in Canada my entire life until 18 months ago. I had tried other alternatives but Dexedrine by far worked the best, brand name specifically.
When I moved to the USA, the cost when from $30/month(without insurance) to a quote of $700/month.
Nobody in the USA uses Dex. Everyone uses adderall. Meanwhile in Canada, everyone I know who uses ADHD meds uses Dex.
Why such the contrast? I am on adensys now presently as I don’t want to pay the crazy cost but miss how I felt on Dex and just don’t understand why it’s 2000% more here. | ADHD |
I've been wanting to be a fiction writer of short stories and novels for a long time. Every time a piece doesn't work I automatically think: well I must not understand people, maybe I should stop trying. A therapist once told me: don't bother, you will never understand the subtlety of human emotion like writers do. | aspergers |
I'm in 4th year uni and just got diagnosed with adhd a couple months ago. I can typically line up my study sessions early on in the day right after I take my meds so I can focus. Today however I had to study in the evening and my meds have worn off for a few hours. I cannot focus to save my life and I'm stressed about letting a day pass by without studying for finals next week. Any tips for focusing after ny medication has worn off? Thanks! | ADHD |
I made a post earlier today ranting about this situation I got myself into as I (M,18) am starting University and there are many people to meet. The TLDR is that this girl asked me for my number, we started talking, I moved way too fast for her, and then she eventually blocked me. While I am ashamed of my actions and would like to apologize to her personally, I am also extremely thankful. I’ve started to study the philosophy of Stoicism and I think it’s going to save my life. Stoicism is helpful to people like me who don’t get to interact with other people that often, because we need to familiarize ourselves with the the fact that we cannot control other people, only our own behaviors and attitudes. I just listened to a podcast on it and I feel so much wiser and more disciplined already. I also bought a copy of Marcus Aurelius’ Reflections and I plan to look at that more in depth when I wake up tomorrow. | aspergers |
I don't experience flash backs any more but if I allow a person to get me extremely angry I black out & lose all control, my heart beats so fast prior & I don't remember what happened all I feel when this happens is rage, can anyone relate? | ptsd |
I was only 15 when the pandemic started and was about halfway through my sophomore year of high school then all of a sudden we were all forced to online school where neither the teachers nor students knew what they were doing and I instantly fell behind. My father was an essential worker and he worked long hours all my siblings moved out and I don't have any of my friend's phone numbers. This means I spent nearly 2 years in complete social isolation with my brain just freezing at its current spot flashforward a few years I'm 17 and in my senior year where I'm finally able to go to school again where I'm pressured to get a job get a license to pick a college and pick the career I want for the rest of my life. This has been a complete shock to my system because I don't feel like I aged between 15 and 17 and I still feel like a 15-year-old mentally meanwhile the kids around me texted with each other constantly and seemed to have aged far ahead of me. They look older have girlfriends cars beards jobs great grades and are getting scholarships meanwhile I don't even know what I want to do tomorrow let alone for the next 40 years. Anyways this was just a little rant sorry if this didn't make sense I'm also dyslexic please feel free to comment or give me advice.
TL;DR: I'm 17 but i still feel 15 and I have no clue what to do | aspergers |
I have PTSD from a recurring incidence of medical malpractice. I also have been needing doctors of late to help with figuring out why I'm losing my ability to walk.
The short version is an EMG I had not less than a week ago has been spiraling me into constant panic attacks and episodes. I was partially sedated for it, but it was still agony. On top of that, the nurse tried to explain to me they would need to do my arms too, but that can be "next time". My follow-up is in just a few days, but I can't stop thinking they're using it as a ruse, or are going to try to force me into going through it again.
Frankly, I can't, won't, and am willing to die over refusing to do it again. But I also feel like that's being too harsh in whatever rational part is managing to be heard.
I don't know if this was meant as a rant or as a question anymore. Am I being too much? Is it too hard to expect? Does this mean I'm getting worse? | ptsd |
I get these thoughts and feelings that like one of my family members are just gonna stab me. What are these? Anxiety delusions? Paranoid? Intrusive thoughts? | OCD |
I get the temptation. But I gave into the temptation to gain reassurance and ended up seeing even more triggering stuff. I wasn't even looking for anything triggering but it happened anyway. Please stop looking reassurance, it'll never work and it might end up biting you in the ass. | OCD |
Before reading this post I just want to say that I am not suffering from severe OCD, I am just here to vent and find some advice if anyone has any. I am not trying to down play OCD as something that can be fixed on reddit, this is for me personally.
So I am a guy who’s has been struggling with germaphobia for a good year and a half now. It started off small and just included me washing my hands frequently but nothing too big. More recently mainly for a good 8 months I have been consumed by germaphobia. There I times where I will avoid contact with certain people just to not feel “dirty” and if I can’t, I will do anything I can to not make contact with the area that I think is dirty and I will find any way to clean myself.
The reason I am making this post is that recently I went to the bathroom and washed my hands, fully aware of the fact that I was clean. I proceeded to go on about my day and I went to use a new personal item of mine that I was excited about, all of a sudden I got an overwhelming feeling that the item was dirty, again I was fully aware that I just washed my hands. I began questioning where and how I washed my hands and started getting worried.
I am now contemplating throwing out the item and buying a new one which is completely ridiculous as the item will run me $40. I know that the logic doesn’t make sense but anytime I use that item there is something in my brain that screams at me that it is dirty and that I need a new one.
If anyone has ever had this feeling and overcame it, advise would be appreciated. I don’t want to have to buy something over again just because I have this overwhelming feeling that it’s dirty.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post. | OCD |
Okay this is probably really bad for my mental well-being but I feel kinda down a lot. Not really sad, just down. And I’ve found that when I pushy my emotions away they come back stronger than they would have been if I had just let myself feel them in the first place, so I let myself feel the emotions.
When I feel down, it isn’t a bad feeling usually. It just happens in the evening, and it’s a small time period where I can let my feelings out and feel better. I feel down, but not like sad. If that makes sense.
There’s something strangely pleasant about feeling that way. I feel down and I cry, but it’s a comforting feeling. I don’t feel hopeless, I have things I’m proud of and people around me I love, so I don’t feel hopeless, I just let my feelings out.
I don’t know how to explain it other than that really. Maybe someone else can relate? | aspergers |
I won’t put any detail in this post, I’ll keep it as vague as possible to respect people’s triggers (and honestly my own too because talking about it is very difficult for me today). I’ve been dealing with PTSD from traumatic events stemming from about 5 years ago, but as more time passes, the nightmares are different. They aren’t like I’m reliving my trauma, but sometimes it is, but the perpetrator is someone else, often someone I love and trust. I’ll also have nightmares where the event happens again in a new and future context, for example last night I had a nightmare that I got a new psychiatrist who ended up hurting me in the same way as what happened in my past. Does anyone else experience this kind of thing? It confuses me and almost hurts me more than the nightmares of the actual traumatic situation. | ptsd |
It’s so confusing to have an overwhelming desire to push my self to be a better me and at the same time I equally desire to stop the fight and just accept that it’s ok not to improve my self.
I don’t even have a name for the emotion that comes with this internal tug of war. I keep switching between the two directions and my body will crash and shut down.
What is this emotion?
All I know is I got to find a way for both invisible sides of me to compromise. | depression |
I just feel so tired all the time. I feel like I'm just dead, dreaming, or just exists. At this point I can't even tell what's real or not. I can't even remember what happened a day ago or last night. I don't understand what's going on at this point. All I understand is to keep my siblings happy even if drains the life out of me, and to protect them from father no matter what. I don't know if this could be depression or the effects of the ptsd. I don't even have any interest in anything anymore or things I like. I find my self laughing at the worst times. My parents aren't the best people. When they get like they do when their mad or upset I laugh hysterically. I think I'm going insane.
I don't know at this point. I just need help. I can't get medication, I can't go to the doctor, I can't contact my real family, I just can't get the help I need.
I never like saying I need help or I'm not okay. I don't talk to people about things like this. I keep it all in. I'm scared that someone might judge me or hurt me again. I know it's dumb. I just don't know what to do. I need to stay alive for my siblings safety. I don't even know if anyone cares about me. I sound so dumb. I really sorry. I don't even know what's wrong with me. I'm sorry I'm so annoying. I just want to know what to do. | ptsd |
I feel like this happens to me all the time; at least a few times per week or even a few times per day. When I'm clearly next in line or have been waiting the longest to be served, they'll pretend not to see me. It's like they're hoping to serve all neurotypical customers first, or they're hoping that if they make me wait long enough, I'll just give up and leave.
Next to the constant reminders that I'm going to grow old and die alone, this is the primary reason that I want to kill myself. And I know when I do, at 90% of places where I'm a regular customer, nobody will notice that I've stopped coming. | aspergers |
He's my blood relative 1st cousin, ten years older than me, and from talking to him extensively about his life I am 99% sure he has ADHD like most of the men in our family. It seems like one thing after another just snowballed and he never had the support needed to live a full life and ended up on different drugs to self medicate which lead to more problems. He's been completely honest about his drug use and I asked if he ever had adderall before. Yes, and he could think clearly. This was before I started talking about ADHD so its not like he had a reason to lie. Anti depressants aren't helping him at all. He wants to die and has extreme anger towards himself and life. Still works jobs, rides the bus, puts in effort but has nothing to show for it because of the addiction.
Today he is in rehab and it's probably been at least ten times in the last ten years. I think it's like a vacation from life as much as anything. He'll come out detoxed but with no money I'm sure he will end up in the same cycle of hating himself and not having the dopamine levels right will not let him see past the short term to stay clean and have long term goals. I don't think my cousin will have a chance without the ADHD treated. I was able to find a couple stories on other websites of people getting prescribed adderall during recovery of other stimulants but the amount of people who were saying its bad was pretty high. I'm going to keep an eye on him and if he cannot stay away from drugs I'll try to at least steer him to less harmful ones. Of course its not something I can control.
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I'm trying to get the name of the facility he is at now and, maybe there's a chance I can talk to someone about having him evaluated for ADHD and it not seen as drug seeking behavior since he is there voluntarily. If anyone has experience with this and can make suggestions, I'm all ears. | ADHD |
Does anyone else have issues with food related to OCD? I have problems with certain vegetables that go beyond simple dislike. For instance, eating tomatoes and onions makes me physically sick/gag. Just wondering if this is part of OCD. | OCD |
I've been medicated consistently, by my own will, for ~6 years and it has dramatically improved my life, depression, and anxiety.
About a month ago, my clinic refused to fill my Rx for 3 weeks because they suddenly declared I needed an appointment, and wouldn't fill my prescription until I went. I was unmedicated for the first time in years in that period and suffered the classic symptoms, which led to me missing two schedule appointments to get my medication, which led to the clinic dismissing me and refusing to fill my prescription as I wait for my new doctor to intake me.
I have to wait until late January to finally get my medication. I've been off meds for about 2 weeks now and it is taking a serious toll on my mental health - I'm so foggy and depressed, and can recognize that I'm using other substances more aggressively than when medicated. I haven't been unmedicated in so long and could really use some coping strategies, or just similar stories from other folks. | ADHD |
I have an appointment for my ADHD diagnosis on 12th but the required prescriptions are yet to be taken.
The german hospital work very different and need appointment to meet with doctor. Luckily my family doctor attends to everyone without appointment but he straight out said he can't give me the prescriptions and referred me to a psychiatrist.
I am waiting for this diagnosis for a long time and I don't think any psychiatrist is going to listen to me without any appointment. I just feel worthless and hopeless right now that I can't even get the prescriptions which only require to talk to a doctor.
I don't want to wait more for the diagnosis, the anxiety is killing me everyday.
I am even getting surface level suicidal thoughts, for now I am able to repress it to my best ability but I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow.
Also the university work is something I am having hard time getting done.
I am sorry if noone understands what I am writing, i am unable to get my thoughts clear.
F**k this day, the week and this month. | ADHD |
I was feeling better. Doing things, I tried to organize my life, stay active. Do anything to not to think and feel alive. But now i started again to feel the void, my willing to life is slowly going away. I’m scared of falling down one more time. I have too may problems I don’t even know what to do. I’ve done so many awful things it’s kicking me back. I’m so in debt and I can’t stop thinking about it, it feels like I’m in a cage. I’m so frustrated when I don’t feel the void. What should I do? My save place isn’t helping. I can’t distract myself anymore, it takes to much energy. I’m so tired I just want a break from my current life. | depression |
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