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I've put some thought into this, I think I would make a video to each person I want to say goodbye to personally
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depression
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People seem to understand when I tell them I do certain things differently because of my OCD. They seem to understand why I avoid stepping on trash while I walk, and they seem to understand why I spend so long washing my hands, but whenever my OCD affects other areas of my life that aren’t directly related to contamination they seem confused, and even become skeptical after a while, which actually gives me a lot of anxiety because I don’t like lying or giving off the impression that I am a liar.
One example is when people ask me why I’m late somewhere. Sometimes I have to check I didn’t touch the doorknob on the way out of my apartment, and I have to do that for ten minutes. Sometimes I have to sit in my car for another fifteen minutes thinking about whether I really didn’t touch it. I can’t really control when I get somewhere sometimes.
Another example is being very tired, and when I’m asked why I didn’t go to bed earlier, and my reply is that I went to bed on time but spent four hours obsessing before I finally fell asleep, they don’t really seem to believe it.
I have gotten in trouble, both in school and at work, for taking too long on a simple task. Sometimes I have to stop what I’m doing to think about whether that small droplet I felt by my arm was just water falling from the sky, or if it was a droplet of saliva somehow.
Recently my apartment complex charged me an additional $150 fee because I paid my rent late. This is the first time it has happened, and it only happened because they took down the virtual payment option while they transitioned to another portal, and I only ever pay online because I hate physical currency (I often throw away any change given to me). I tried to explain this to the apartment complex but they refused to take away the late charge.
It’s just unfortunate that OCD affects so many areas that we can’t really have accommodated because they appear unrelated to the condition. Anyone else experience this?
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OCD
|
So today was my day off. Normally my day off is spent cleaning, doing laundry or working outside. Me and my fiancé are expecting, due in January, so with her being high risk most of the household responsibilities are on me. Which is fine, this isn't my first rodeo. Usually, I can keep on task pretty well and can get A LOT done in a day. Today, however, was a disaster. I didn't fully finish ANYTHING I started. Unless you count an episode of anime (unproductive time). There's a load of laundry that's finishing in the dryer, a load of dishes in the washer that needs to be put up and some other stuff that needs to be done outside that I have started but not finished. I even burned a meal that literally only takes MINUTES to warm up in a Skillet. I can't see a therapist because none accept my insurance or are booked solid. Any advice for when I have days like this?
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ADHD
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Upon the recommendation of a therapist, I've started giving my OCD a name (Gary) and I took it a step further, and re-imagine the intrusive thoughts he sends my way as poorly drawn illustrations of whatever my theme is at the moment. Like he drew it on MS Paint with stick figures. It makes me laugh a bit, takes away the seriousness, and helps me be more aware of how much of a crappy liar OCD is. Just wanted to share this in case it can help others.
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OCD
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Hi Everyone,
In summary; one specialist said I don’t have ADHD, four years later a second specialist says I do have it:
Background: I’m 33F work in molecular biology.
A few years ago I had a really bad year, too much school, work, personal stuff all at once, was super overwhelmed with life and exhausted all the time, but my reaction to it had me suspecting I had ADHD. I knew a lot of people with the same pressure who handled it much different than me. All the criteria of ADHD fit me like a glove. I got a professional evaluation (5 session) with a specialist [though her practice does not mention specializing in ADHD, but my psychiatrist at the time told me she’s the best in the field]. The specialist determined that I did not have ADHD, her analysis showed that I had a slightly below to general IQ (97-105)but high IQ in some areas, and incredibly slow processing speed (78). Keep in mind I was also diagnosed with depression and was extremely extremely sleep deprived, which she did not factor into her analysis. This blew my mind, my whole life I was really good in STEM just slow to hear and remember information, it didn’t make sense to me!
Fast forward 4 years later, TikTok is blowing up and I get hooked on all these videos about ADHD. So many characteristics people talk about that I didn’t know where related to ADHD were exactly what have been facing in my everyday life, So. Many. Things! I went out to get a second opinion, this time from a therapist specifically specialized in adult ADHD, he immediately came to the conclusion that I have it, but he carried out his 3 evaluation sessions with me to confirm the diagnosis.
My husband doesn’t believe I have it which is frustrating and makes me question myself. (Don’t hate on him, he’s the sweetest person alive, he just sees things differently than I do).
My question is: if you were me would you get a third opinion? Evaluations are expensive and time consuming but I’m afraid of being one of the over or under diagnosed people? Who is wrong? The second specialist could be over diagnosing people but the first specialist could be not well informed! Urrrrg
Anyway, Thanks!
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ADHD
|
I wonder if this feeling is typical of traumas or if it has something to do with my trauma being drug related.
It feels like I was violently ripped out of my life and the things I associated with my life now feel like a lost, far away story, which will never be recovered. I don‘t feel like the same person and I have completely different feelings, which can make me feel like going insane (my kind of flashback).
Usually psychedelics make you feel more connected with everything, but the trip that traumatized me rather had the opposite effect. Going into this world, where nothing real seems to matter anymore, but then feeling these mighty otherworldly feelings really takes every bit of enjoyment out of my life for some days, thus flashbacks are dreaded.
I was told that this might be derealization/depresonalization, but the common descriptions of DP/DR don‘t seem to fit that much imo.
But do these kind of feelings of having lost once life also occur in other traumas?
Have a nice day everyone!
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ptsd
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I’m a new teacher this year and I’m struggling with one of my ADHD students.
Some background: I teach design, so a lot of students who struggle in traditional classes tend to shine here. I’m fairly laid back and I encourage students to go for a walk, grab a snack, or play a game if they need a short break. I structure my classes by showing a 2-5 minute video related to design - usually something well produced and interesting, not always related to our specific work. Then we discuss it a bit using design and unit related concepts and vocabulary. Finally, students either start independent work or I lecture on a concept for about 10 minutes (students have computers closed during this time but have the presentation available to look at later). I teach MYP design, so the independent work is sectioned into 4 main sections and each section has 4 sub sections.
The Student: During video/lecture he stays quiet. Does not participate but also does not disrupt. During independent work he is quite honestly a nightmare.
He does not work… like at all. Furthermore, he is extremely distracting to other students. Constantly talking with them, touching them playfully. Even if I’m standing directly behind him for the whole class, he will just pretend to work and not actually do anything. His behavior impacts the entire class because he is very social and funny so everyone wants to engage with him. I don’t generally care if my students chat while they are working, but he is literally yelling across the classroom. Yesterday, I had to tell him that if he didn’t do the class work, he would receive an infraction. He begrudgingly did his work then. The bare Minimum. But I don’t want to achieve things through coercion.
Anytime I talk to him, I can see a level of resentment in his eyes. I think he is frequently yelled at by teachers.
I’d like to talk to him privately before next class and let him have a voice in how he’d like to work. Do you have any suggestions on how to approach this or options that I could offer him? I’d prefer a positive reinforcement approach.
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ADHD
|
Does anyone else agree that sometimes the content of the obsessions itself can be traumatic? Especially regarding Harm ocd and pocd? I have dealt with them and am slowly recovering but I feel like I will never be the same because of how traumatic it was getting hundreds of disturbing intrusive thoughts per minute? Thoughts?
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OCD
|
Is that normal or is that another aspie thing? Either way it surprises me every time. I can even do my work as a software developer when I've only had a few hours of sleep multiple nights in a row. Ok, forget the part about things we can't do, I know we have trouble with speech and sensory stuff. But how can hard processing stuff still happen?
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aspergers
|
Hello you all can call me Jay. I’m 15 and a freshman (I’m going to be a sophomore in a few months) I have ocd and have had it for a year now (could be longer I was diagnosed a year ago my last therapists and physiatrist sucked ass they didn’t know shit) but anyways. I have panic attacks and bad episodes cuz things aren’t right or something like that. My therapist always asks me if I feel something bad is going to happen to me if I don’t organize or fix something. Truth is no I don’t. I just have a bad feeling in my stomach and I feel sick and I need it to be in order. I feel bad. My mom doesn’t know how to really deal with this and she gets what I’m going through but I also feel like she doesn’t. I had a panic attacked on Monday. I couldn’t find my mask. I’ve been using the same mask for over a year. I don’t like wearing any other masks. It’s limited edition. But that’s not why it’s special. It’s nice looking I love it and I lost it. My mom kept telling me it’s just a mask which yes I understand but my mind doesn’t understand I don’t like when it’s Gone. I need to always hang it on a push pin I put on top of my bed. I don’t like when it’s not their. She tells me to calm down but I can’t. She tells me to calm down like I can do it so easily but I can’t. I have this feeling THATS eating me inside that I can’t get rid of and she sorta understand that but I don’t think she understands it’s what I feel evertime something is missing or something. Idk how to explain it. Idek why I said all this. I just wanted to rant ig. It just bothers me so much how she tells me to calm down like I can do it so easily. And she told my girlfriend to tell me that material things don’t matter but to me they do and It’s like they hold a place in my heart that I want to keep their
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OCD
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Basically, I am very aware of my intrusive thoughts to the point where I feel like i’m forcing myself to have them, so I can feel horrible in myself? It’s like i’m so used to having them that now I have them constantly on purpose and I hate it. It’s almost as if I know I have them severely so I make myself have them anyways. Anyone else feel the same?
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OCD
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Since I moved school has been really stressful. I've had at least a dozen depressive episodes where I would just come home and lay in bed until I fell asleep, and I would miss dinner some days too. On top of that I had like a full week of chest pain that I now believe was from anxiety. Now that I'm on Christmas break and that I know I passed my classes for this semester with a few C's and mostly A's I feel a little better, but I'm worried it'll come back again. My social life never really developed past middle school and before I moved I had the same friend group with just a few dudes, and since I've moved I haven't really met anyone i'd consider a "friend". I honestly don't know what it means to have a friend anymore, and more often than not I have hostile preconceptions about some of the people around me that deters me even further from trying to talk to people. It's already difficult enough being socially Incapable because of ASD, constantly sleep deprived, and chronically online with very little to focus on outside of schoolwork because I lack the motivation to do that too alot of the time. I don't really know what to do anymore besides just wait for it to happen again.
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aspergers
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My OCD is often along the “pure o” lines. I wish I had more compulsive behaviors, bc as troublesome as they can be, they are at least a way to relieve the anxiety.
My anxiety is so high and so intense that it literally feels like I am being burned up from the inside. My feet and hands get hot and start tingling and burning. It’s physically uncomfortable. I am wrapped in a paralyzing fatigue that won’t let me sleep, but won’t let me move either. Sometimes just standing up feels like it will take all the effort in the world. Anyone who hasn’t known anxiety like this is lucky. It’s literally destroying me.
So here’s the thing—my main trigger rn seems to be real event related. It’s whenever I have a stressful or uncomfortable encounter with a friend or family member.
If i have one compulsion that seems to help, it’s writing letters or discussing the situation with another friend until I can ”figure it out.”
But I know everything says NOT to do this. Not to try to make the illogical ocd thoughts logical. And, of course, my brain then second guesses and tortures me about whatever answers I find. But there’s temporary relief.
the thing is—I really don’t know what else to do. I can’t function. I want to die. This feeling is so awful I’m half convinced I’ve become possessed by an evil entity.
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OCD
|
I’m gonna go on a trip soon, and I might be allowed to ride shotgun, so I’d love to hear some tips about how to deal with intrusive thoughts regarding driving.
I get thoughts like grabbing and spinning the wheel, opening the door or distracting the driver in some way. Last time I just sat on my hands most of the time, but this time the drive will be longer and I’d like to hear how others deal with these things.
Thanks in advance!
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OCD
|
Hi, I'm trying to find stuff on having both ADHD and ASD. Was wondering if people might be able to share their experiences. How do you experience them both? Is there overlap or does it feel separate? When I got my autism diagnosis I was relieved it made a lot of sense.
Although I feel like lot it doesn't explain a lot. There are definitely things I struggle with which I feel asd doesn't explain alone.
My main experiences are: difficulty concentrating unless it's something I'm really into, issues with mood regulation I can have like 8 different moods in one day usually triggered by my own thoughts, difficulty sleeping mostly falling asleep that I struggle with also can't keep a consistent sleeping pattern, clutter makes me feel really bad yet I seem to be incapable of being tidy and organised and the biggest one is that instead of having a special interest I tend to have quite short term interests and I usually get bored of them quite quickly. I have a bunch of abandoned hobbies which also makes me feel bad especially when I've spent a lot of money and then given up because my brains lost interest.
I just wondered if anyone experiences these types of things on top of being autistic and if so if it might relate to having adhd. I'm trying to decide if it's worth getting an assessment. Not looking for people to say if I have adhd or not just if these experiences might resonate or if diagnosed as autistic first what led you to getting assessed for adhd. Tia.
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ADHD
|
I (20 F) have been with my boyfriend (20 M) for two years. Today is one of those days where I question if I have OCD (specifically, Relationship OCD), or if I just use it to manipulate people. I hate this feeling.
For example, I saw my ex's friend, who happens to be a girl, at a party in October. She was hanging out with a couple of my friends, and before the party, I thought to myself, "If she's there, I want her to know that I am a good person," because, when I was dating my ex, I used to be VERY shy around her. I also wanted her to have nice things to say about me if she ever were to tell my ex that she ran into me. At the party, I was very friendly with her and our surroundings, danced with her and our small group of mutual friends, and was acting, "cool," around her.
After the party, I cried to my boyfriend, telling him how guilty I feel for trying to act, "cool," around her, since I wanted her to tell my ex how, "cool," I am. I don't think my boyfriend took it really seriously, because he shrugged it off, BUT maybe it was because he did not understand what I was trying to do. I know all of this sounds very silly, but I am literally running late to a meeting because of how guilty I am currently feeling about this. I don't feel like doing anything except for confessing all of this to my boyfriend. I love him so much. I would NEVER ever go back to my ex, even if I was single.
Did I do something bad? Does it count as emotionally cheating? Is it unhealthy attention that I was trying to receive? I would really appreciate some responses.
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OCD
|
I recently realized that me being lazy and just not wanting to wake up had to do something with my metal health and now that I do, I only feel worse. I tried to commit suicide yesterday but from all the stupid posts id seen about asking for help, I tried. I called the suicide helpline but they didn't pick up and decided to talk to my mom, she said that I'm embarrassing her and it's just me being incompetent. I don't know what to do, I don't really want to die but just the idea of having to wake up tomorrow and doing this again makes me want to do it. I need advice on what I should do because I do want a life ahead of this
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depression
|
Greetings.
I am an uncle to a wonderful child who recently recieved a diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome from his family's general practitioner. I care very much about my nephew and I want to do everything I can to be a positive force in his life while recognizing and supporting his individuality.
Obviously, AS is a spectrum and every person dealing with Asperger's has a unique situation but without getting too much into his specific situation, are there any recommendations for how I can best support and encourage him as he grows and develops?
Unfortunately, his parents aren't overly motivated to accomodate his situation. They seem to still be in a state of denial about his diagnosis while the rest of his family has every intention of supporting him and showing him love and encouragement.
Resources I should look into to learn more?
Recommendations for me to try to help him at this early stage in his life?
I appreciate any feedback or advice.
Respectfully,
-BT
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aspergers
|
With covid and everything im stuck so its 10x worse but ive never met more anti autistic people than my own family. My mother consistently tells me im a burden and compares me to my “golden child” sister. Im always told im a failure and that im annoying and i honestly cant wait till im through with college and can move away and im strongly considering disowning all of them. Even my brother who is the only kind family member i have. I just feel like im trapped in a house with the “mean kids” from high school.
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aspergers
|
Hello. I am a teacher. It is my first year of teaching. I am also in a project and my last unfinished task is creating an inclusive educational environment for someone with special educational needs. As I have a 8/10 rate of ADHD pupils in a class that may unite with another one in the next year I decided to make the task on ADHD in a so I decided to ask ADHD students of Reddit about what you wanted a teacher to do in order to make you part of the class, or what a student really did good in creating an inclusive environment for you.
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ADHD
|
It may be because I've trained in this area, but I notice all the time in TV shows and movies (and in plays before Covid) when someone's voice is or isn't dropped to their diaphragm, if they have good resonance, where their voice is placed etc. I was shocked while watching Manifest, for example, that for being an American actor Josh Dallas' resonance (including back resonance which is quite difficult) was fantastic. In singing I can hear straightaway when someone's pitch is off, including when I sing. I get insecure sometimes when watching a YouTube video of someone singing and no one else is commenting on the singer's pitch being off or them not being supported enough etc. There's also some languages I find very unpleasant to listen to because they're quite nasal, as well as some people's voices. I've been accused of being dramatic because I involuntarily wince when a singer is off-key. I don't mean to be.
Any of you also have this experience?
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aspergers
|
I’m 15 currently and I’ve had ocd for the greater part of my life. I’m so tired of not being able to function, feeling like my mind and body don’t belong to me, being stressed out of my mind all day every day, stuck on repeat. Though I’ve explained it to my parents and professionals have explained it to them as well, it’s so severe and complex that I’m unsure how much this can be turned around and the people around me including my family aren’t taking it slow enough to where I can feel comfortable, and it’s only getting worse. I don’t know what to do. I don’t expect the people around me to understand what I’m going through but I do expect them to respect what I ask of them and they don’t even do that.
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OCD
|
welp here i go folks, took 15 benadryls hopefully i die. It was the last straw for me, my boyfriend cheated and kept swearing at me, just couldn't take it anymore. I 'll stop being a burden to my family and everyone. I'm a big problem. I was a good person. I am a good person. Sadly, I have no other options on happiness. Finally doing it after 10years of stalling and attempts. If i do wake up then this is just so embarrassing. I love you all.
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depression
|
Why does time pass differently like this? How can we stop time jumping? It's like being in a game with high ping, you walk, game lags and either everyone slows down but you teleport on another place. Or everyone freezes and then they speed up suddenly and everything's already done.
What's the human equivalent of a reset or restarting router to get stable internet to be focused and be aware of time?
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ADHD
|
So some background. About 2 years ago, after a long time of putting it off I finally get a diagnosis of Psychotic Depression. The way my nurse described it is that I had left my depression untreated to long it had manifested itself in hallucinations to keep my brain "entertained".
Here's the pinch, the metal health services in my area are nearly non existent and with the added pressure of covid I have been left without seeing the early intervention team and I am still waiting on an ECG appointment to make sure I'm healthy enough for the anti psychotics.
I am really struggling to hold down a job because the slightest bit of pressure makes me crumble the anxiety aggravates the psychosis, the psychosis leaves me sleepless and depressed and the cycle continues.
So I have just started a new job, one week into training and I have spent the whole weekend sleepless and anxious and tormented. I need to get this sorted and the only way I can see it happening is forcing it by being admitted.
Does anyone have any experience with this and would you recommend it?
Thank you in advance.
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depression
|
My best friend asked me twice for help on a project she has a deadline of tonight for. She is extremely overwhelmed and buried in everything else her job has thrown at her, and I really did want to help. The scope of the project isn't that crazy (what essentially amounts to a one-page essay) and the subject matter is familiar enough that I felt confident I could help her out with no problem. Enter ADHD. I cannot, for the life of me, focus on this project or even get started on it. It's too late in the evening to take more adderall so I just had to let her know that I am so sorry but I'm useless right now. She said "it's ok, thank you" and I just feel like I really let her down because she obviously really needed my help and I said i'd be able to help and then as it turns out, i was not able to help her. I feel like ive damaged the way she'll look at me moving forward and she'll never see me as anything but unreliable and flaky. i usually love helping people, it gives me good feels to know that I was able to do something important in an emergency for someone, so idk why my brain just couldn't get it going for this project. i just feel like a shit friend right now.
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ADHD
|
TW: rape and strangulation.
.
.
.
.
.
[Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/insanepeoplefacebook/comments/pcxt2t/this_pisses_me_off_tbh/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) is the post in question. No hate to OP: they’ve 100% identified an insane person on Facebook. From the TW alone, you can guess that I’m not a fan of that first line of business, but it goes a bit deeper.
The same night I was raped, I was strangled nearly to death. I know wait it’s like to almost lose my life to a lack of air. I know how the panic sets in when you realize that that situation could be the end credits for you.
I wear a mask religiously. I wear it because I know how it feels to almost die with no air in your lungs, and I will move heaven and earth to make sure I NEVER have to feel that feeling again.
So to see know that my traumas are being thrown around as “maybe” excuses for the maskless? I am practically frothing with rage. I’m so appalled I could vomit.
To anyone out there who’s seeing a friend or a relative posting this kind of thing, spare a thought for those like me. In fact, you’re welcome to share this post with them, if you think it would make a difference.
I, like everyone here, have already been through so much. If laying myself and my trauma bare is the way to get people to stop using my experience in their fucked up hypotheticals, I’ll do it.
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ptsd
|
While it may not be directly linked to aspergers, it has got to be the number one killer for me when it comes to dealing with aspergers. It is so hard to socialize and fit in when you struggle to comprehend what others are saying. I always have to get people to repeat what they are saying or just move along with the conversation and hope I didn't miss out on something. Wearing masks doesn't help.
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aspergers
|
I've Just feeling pretty down on my self recently. My ADHD has been acting up badly and it's been causing me to forget things more easily and to zone out and stop listening when people talk to me. I have been frustrated with myself because I don't mean to do it, I have a short attention span as it is, I don’t mean to make it worse… it's like my brain short circuits or something and I act so impulsively. 🤷🏻♀️
I have also been cutting people off when they're talking to me but not on purpose. I'm not being very self aware apparently. So I feel bad about myself and I need to work on it. But I just get anxious that I might do it again and the anxiety is making it worse because I get outbursts and mood swings from frustration and irritability. I am just coming off self observed, and rude and disrespectful. I almost don't want to talk to people at all because the next things out of my mouth are seemingly pretty boring.
I wish I knew how to manage this better.
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ADHD
|
I don’t really know what I am typing this for. I guess I just need to vent.
For a long time now I’ve known I have minor depression, and maybe it’s covid, maybe it’s seasonal, maybe it’s thanksgiving, or maybe it’s maybelline, but I think I’m sinking and I don’t have a joke to end that statement.
I’m a (26 M) and by all accounts should have my head above water, but I think I’m getting tired of trotting. I have some amazing friends couldn’t ask for a more caring and loving group of people. Im not too bad looking like a solid 6, 7 on a good day. I keep a good fit and maintain my appearances and grooming. I have a contract job, not in my exact desired feild but idk what that means anymore. dreams? in this economy??. And honestly I have some pretty supportive and loving parents and siblings
Sorry if this is a big flex, but I feel like in need to write it out for myself and maybe a little context for you.
But today is the 2nd time I’ve just…. Cried. Not that men can’t cry or nothing, but I just cried because I thought to myself. It would just be easier to…. Just not, you know. I’m no stranger to intrusive thoughts. But this felt… different. Like it felt so matter of fact. And the thing is clearly I am too vein and self absorbed to go through with it (did you read my second paragraph?!)
Honest to god, I know there’s so much more to life l, there’s still plenty of hope in me yet, but nights like this shove me so abruptly that I have to reanalyze where I’m at mentally.
I was actually having a pretty good thanksgiving too. Eventually it was just me and my siblings up late talking and a few drinks in, and some in of us more than others. But I was riding a nice buzz.
And then it happened. The conversation we all dread. What are your plans? What are your goals. What do you want to do with your life. I’m used to avoiding the question, because truthfully idk what I want to do.
I’m a pretty half decent cartoonist, not amazing but not terrible. It’s all I know. I always wanted to be an animator, but as you can probably guess, being an animator isn’t exactly profitable nor a secure career, especially if I want to raise a family. And most importantly animation is beyond grueling and I don’t think I’d survive very long.
So when my sister confronted me about my future I was pretty honest. “I’m not quite sure what I want to do right now. I’m still figuring it out”
But that led to a cascade of question and mockery. Anecdotes about how they made it into their careers. Comments on how I spend my time after work. It was certainly a liquor fueled moment, but it didn’t make the cuts any less deep. It felt like I was just some idiot child, like I’d achieved nothing, I had worked for nothing. I would be nothing.
And that’s all it took. I shut down. I was so close to opening up to my siblings about other secrets and trauma I’ve bottle up for years. Solidify a sense of open communication with my family. But this felt like a reminder why I don’t tell them anything.
And after festering. The words were eating away at my ego, and verifying all the dark thought I have about myself. And here I am. 4 in the morning. 26. Single. Broke. Talentless. Drowning.
I don’t even know what I want from this post. How could I, I don’t even know what I want to do in my life. I want to say if your in a similar situation it gets better. There’s more to life than a career. But in the very brief moment, the intrusive thoughts were not so intrusive, and that alone scares me.
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depression
|
I was diagnosed with inattentive adhd a few months ago.
I scored 9/9 for inattentive type but nothing for hyperactive/impulsive type. Anyone else? Has medication helped you at all?
I’ve tried Vyvanse and Concerta but I haven’t really noticed a difference.
I’m still unmotivated, tired, brain foggy, addicted to scrolling my phone, procrastinate everything.
I’m starting to wonder if I even have adhd at this point.
Just wondering if anyone on here had a similar experience and if you found anything that helped?
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ADHD
|
like seriously? what the fuck is this thing we suffer from called "depression"? it hurts so damn much! its pain and suffering i wasnt even aware possible in the past!
why? why? why?
did i do something wrong and am being punished?
does god just hate me and want me to suffer?
am i cursed for eternity?
i always believed in god but right now i dont know why. noting makes sense anymore but it genunely does feel like a higher power is torturing me right now and there is absolutely nothing i can do about.
i have never been suicidal before but im starting to see how you can get to that state. how much suffering can human take before giving up?
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depression
|
This might be "autistic inertia" or just depression, but
For example, I often have the need to take a nap when I get home after work. Not always only because I'm sleepy or tired, sometimes just to take away the feeling of being overwhelmed by all the people and sounds and things I have dealt with during the day. And that leads to me having dinner after 10pm, and having my "2+hour winding down before sleep" way past midnight. As if preparing myself to be mentally ready to end the day and actually start to fall asleep also takes some persuasion.
And when I wake up in the morning, it takes about an hour for me to actually be mentally ready to leave my bed and also be mentally alert enough to get anything done.
All that plus 7-8 hours of sleep, my actual "workday" is a lot shorter and I can't get enough done as I hope to.
Does anyone relate? How do you cope?
(I've been on anti-depressants for more than a year now, if related)
|
aspergers
|
I see my psychiatrist tomorrow for the third time. She's asked me to tell her what I think the diagnosis is when I see her. At this point I am 95% sure it's ADHD, but I've been put on mood stabilizers for the past 3 months, which to me suggests she believes it's a mood disorder like Bipolar.
I don't think it is. I don't function by phases and my mood doesn't shift randomly or cyclically, so I am fairly certain that is not what this is. I've also been taking the 2 she's prescribed for me and to be perfectly honest, they haven't really helped me at all. I'm just the same with some annoying side effects now (fatigue and muscle pains).
My doctor thinks my symptoms resemble ADHD more and we discussed me asking my psychiatrist to try and put me on Ritalin instead to see if it works for me. I may be overthinking this, but I have been afraid to ask, because I don't want her to think I am just looking for stimulants. I just really think we're focused on the wrong disorder here and would like to try a new treatment instead.
Any idea as to how I should go about it? I'm not asking for anyone to tell me how to get an ADHD diagnosis, I've done all the necessary research and know what I relate to to a T by now. I'm just looking for advice as to how to tell her to look at this from a different angle, because mood disorders isn't really getting us anywhere.
|
ADHD
|
So many doubts about my sexuality, personality, self-worth, past mistakes, future, friends, appearance, day to day actions, memories, and just life in general…getting kinda tiring.
Anyone else 🥴😪😔
|
OCD
|
They are so easy to make, and are super healthy. It's really hard for me to tell when I'm hungry and sometimes I can't be bothered to make some actual food, so these have really been a lifesaver to me. I can't recommend them enough honestly, they even taste great, like chocolate and peanuts! Or berries and yoghurt etc.!
Today I made one with: oats, a banana, protein powder, peanut butter, milk and some cocoa powder.
Recipes are also welcome! :>
|
aspergers
|
Has anyone found any alternative OCD treatments that have worked well for them?
I am not interested in hearing about ERP, CBT, or SSRIs.
Aside from mainstream OCD treatments, I’ve tried ketamine infusions, microdosing psilocybin, and neurofeedback (still doing this). I’d love to hear about uncommon things like TMS or different types of therapy or supplements.
|
OCD
|
Hi there,
I have cleanliness OCD and I am working on a self-directed ERP with the help of [this article on IOCDF](https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-self-directed-erp/). I tend to wash my hands after eating snacks and/or touching sticky substances like sugar cubes, chocolate, candy etc.
My question was, in the ERP, when I intentionally avoid washing hands after eating something, do I focus on this, making note of anxiety increase and decrease or do I carry on with other stuff, like my job or playing games etc as I would do after washing my hand?
I so wish I'd have a proper therapy session for the same but it's really hard to find a qualified person in my country for the same and people here consider OCD as a laughing matter and a quirk unfortunately.
Thank you
|
OCD
|
I’m trying to pack for a 2 week trip and part of me is trying to pack all of my cool things for a ‘show and tell’ of sorts to my family. Like I’ve already talked myself out of packing my Polaroid camera, several dresses (I like the look of dresses but I never actually wear them), pants that need to be repaired (but they look cool), so many types of shoes, all my jackets, and several physical books that I know I won’t have time to read. I know I’m posting this to procrastinate packing and cleaning. Does anyone else struggle with packing just the essentials?
Edit: a few typos
|
ADHD
|
I’m a firefighter who is diagnosed with PTSD. Since I admitted it and looked for help, my patterns of nightmares have gone in different stages. (Ask if you want more details). But tonight, I’m up because my nightmares have turned into thoughts I never thought I would have. Me, the most easy going/ shrug everything off guy.
It’s kind of freaked me out. Even more then the disturbing re accounting dreams or triggers. Not sure why I’m writing this on here, but I needed to print it out someplace and read it back to myself later.
|
ptsd
|
so, i’m in my senior year, and i am in a high school that tries to keep me in contact after years of bullying from their most popular people. although the mental egging started in my intermediate, if not, elementary years, it feels like it dragged out so terribly in high school to the point i've become a different entity by now. years of being told to end it all by popular faces, then manipulated into continuing by those same people, it drove me nuts. because of this, i've made myself my own grave as the quiet kid and made barely a few close friends and i've been trying to etch myself from their memories. my friends always tell me to get help but i always have the instinctual feeling i've been trying to manipulate them into forgetting me. i know i may be trying to convince them but i know that nothing willl work. in spite of this, i've tried to hide myself and make people regret knowing me at all.
as an advertent result of being continuously treated the way i've been, throughout my time in my school life, i've been experiencing attachment issues in conjunction with a lot of depressive symptoms such as being unable to sleep, cry or eat due to pure mental hollowness. in fact, i put up a reckless front around people that see me day to day, just to make them want to forget me. i think that failed because it's reached a point that my limited amount of friends keep yelling at me every day about how i am. i don't know how to make the cycle implode the way my mindset has been, nor do i know how to achieve an ending that works out.
at this point i feel like i don't belong anywhere in that school letalone any society because of how mentally limp i am, given how i've tried to do what should've been a simple objective but being dragged back into the school no matter what. i thought no time would be too late but i've been imprinted in at least 10 people's lives, spanning from people i feel like would benefit the most from forgetting about me, because they see how repetitive and burdenous i can be, to the people who may only see me a few times but have it left in their brains forever. my friends already know i've gone to a hospital but never got help, and i feel like they've seen past my objective to erase myself from them.
my school life only taught me that fairy tales don't exist, and they're trying to convince me out of it despite how jaded i've become as a person after all the years of gaslighting. i don't think it's possible for my high school to convince me, so i'd rather be a forgotten face and etched from everyone's memories, especially those that know me well.
|
depression
|
I suffer from bipolar disorder, this brings along with crippling anxiety and sometimes crippling depression. I not saying everyone whos bipolar has these problems. But I havent been able ot work for a while, about 2-3 years, and I have been trying to get on disability. (I know this isnt really too much about depression but be patient with me explaining things.) One of the things I should be doing is going to therapy, but I missed too many appointments, meaning I cant book with the only therapist in town. Meaning I cant get the help I need. I know there online options but Im penniless. My mom refuses to pay for any services because how expensive they are. The one in town works with her company so its free.
I cant get a job because im depressed and I can afford therapy because I dont have a job.
Anytime I bring this up to anyone in my family they act like its just normal depression or laziness.
I broke down crying today because I feel like im not meant for this world. Im not self harming or anything, but I just felt like the ideals of this world, with the money and the feeling of isolation, even before the pandemic, are so against what makes me happy.
I cant just suck it up, my emotions are strong, my anxiety hurts and I just wish I was normal. Beck before I started showing symptoms.
There Is no place I can go for professional help and I just feel like a burden
|
depression
|
Just bought a new grill and I'm standing here minding my own goddamn business while the coals do their thing getting all red and hot and shit so of course good old Brian has to shit on my parade by being all "lol what if u just grabbed the electric charcoal starter w ur bare hand"
|
OCD
|
I knew I had adhd as a child but I guess I was never told what it really was. All my life I just thought that meant you were hyper. Which with me I was never hyper so I just knew they made a mistake. Honestly I thought my parent was just trying to get a check for me. I was also diagnosed with manic depression, and anxiety. Which my parents claimed “manic depression” meant bipolar. Which is another illness I looked up and again didn’t see any signs of. I was about 12 when all of this was diagnosed. I am now in my thirties and have been unmedicated. I am a wife and a mother. I’ve held full time jobs and side jobs. I have children who plays all types of sports and I have my wonderful husband. I just recently went on medical leave from my job because things got to be too much. It was very stressful learning everything having a lot of responsibilities at home and at work. Also my marriage was suffering as well. I had bad headaches everyday so bad I wanted to vomit. I had to close my eyes and try to sleep. I mean my vision would even get bad. No Menstrual cycle for about two months. I wasn’t sleeping. I went to my primary care whom prescribed me lexapro. First dose headaches immediately gone. Had like a relaxing feeling. Kids could argue, be loud, obnoxious and nothing would get to me. Also started to have a sleep schedule. But I could never stay awake during the day. Went to see a psychiatrist about ADHD and she prescribed adderall 10mg. First dose of that it was like everything around me was good. I could focus not overthink things and actually show up to events and stuff. Without usually falling asleep or getting in the mood where I didn’t want to do anything. Still no motivation though. So much needed to do around the house. My period came back! But that week taking the adderall it seemed to not work at all. From there I didn’t feel much by taking it. My question do I need to up my dosage? I’ve read where that’s a pretty low dose. Also I realize when I don’t take lexapro and just adderall I feel the effects a lot more
|
ADHD
|
I’m going through an especially bad depressive episode at the moment and it has sucked away all my energy. I’ve lost interest in all my usual hobbies and I’m unable to focus on my job even a little. I feel like time is moving by so slowly; I just want it to be night time so I can actually sleep.
|
depression
|
I am feeling like I don’t want to go on. I’ll spare the reasons why. There’s far too many. But the thing that’s keeping me here is my dog. I could never leave her. She’s so sweet. I could never trust a human to care for her in the proper way. The way I do. So, I guess that’s a reason to be here ? Other than that, humans and the world the way it is, literally is useless. Humans have lost the way. No one truly connects. Humans are selfish. Humans don’t appreciate the earth. This short life we have been given. They place importance on things that don’t mean shit. I can’t connect with anyone on a real level because I’m not superficial and I see bigger meaning. And for that, I find this all meaningless.
Except for my dog.
|
depression
|
I've recently been diagnosed with ptsd after being misdiagnosised before and I dont know how to feel. I felt like my diagnosis came out of no where and that the trauma I've been through wasnt really that bad. It feels like I'm faking even though I'm not and have a real diagnosis from a medical professional
|
ptsd
|
So I have POCD, and earlier yesterday I woke up with a boner and thought about my pocd and kids for some reason, and then I started rubbingy privates into the bed for about ten seconds and I think it felt good but I can't remember but the thought of a kid was in my head during the ten seconds and now im scared since I can't remember why I was rubbing it I'm scared I masturbated to the thought by rubbing but I'm not sure if I just happened to be thinking about a kid while doing that and I'm terrified im a monster. What should I do, am I a monster? Please comment or pm to respond
|
OCD
|
My intrusive thoughts, nightmares and rage is getting more frequent now. I am in the midst of seeing a therapist and awaiting for a psychiatric assessment. But I am more sure than ever that I have PTSD as it is apparent that the same memories appear in every naps and every night sleeping. My rage and irritability is getting worse. I’m starting to feel dislike for my therapist for not understanding where I am coming from. My boyfriend tells me theoretical stuff about trauma and constantly questions whether I have done anything to get better. He even suggests techniques to calm my anxiety and paranoia. However I am starting to feel annoyed with his suggestions like he knows it all. I feel as if he is trying to be better than me. Also my resentment towards my boyfriend who is the major cause of my trauma doesn’t help. I feel like I am resistant to getting better. Shutting down anyone and assuming techniques would not work on me. I sound like an awful person to be with. Is this just me being awful or is this how PTSD manifests itself?
|
ptsd
|
* Can OCD make you think negative of something you really like? A hobby or something.
|
OCD
|
I was at residential treatment and I had to leave treatment early for reasons, ever since then I’ve been obsessing over treatment. I feel like i have to continue it at a place like residential or it won’t feel right because it’ll be all like incompletely skipped over a step and that bothers me and at the same time i also feel like my ocd has to perfectly be at its worst then i have to perfectly be in the place for the worst kind of ocd to treat it and i can’t make it like pseudo better (such as through outpatient therapy or individual work) before making it true better in the right place like i just want to go from rock bottom awful at a residential to 100% cured and i can’t have it any other way. This has made me totally afraid to even do or start exposures unless the environment is “right” for them and I just have this huge fear of getting “psuedo” better. I also feel like if I get better through the “wrong” means then it will make people stop me from going to a place like residential again which scares me cuz I’m afraid I’ll never get the “right” treatment again.
I’ve also obsessed over treatment in plenty of other ways like: not being able to focus on the theme of exposures properly because I became too preoccupied with doing the exposures correctly and having perfect habituation numbers, using coping/DBT skills perfectly for the perfect situation and if i can’t find the perfect situation I can’t use them at all, being afraid to treat my other disorders because it’s “interrupting” my perfectly inline OCD treatment, being afraid to talk because I’m scared I’ll say something that’ll further interrupt the ideal ocd treatment path. I just finished up a depression program because for some reason residential made me go there after treatment cuz I guess my other issues were getting too in the way of my OCD treatment and it was HELL because I was obsessing over being in the right program and they made me do some exposures and doing exposures in the wrong program just drove me crazy.
|
OCD
|
So as the title says, my friend has depression, he has depression that just comes and goes over the months, that's what it has been for a few years. Now his depression episode (if I can call it that) came like 3 weeks ago, and still going, me and our other friends can't really help him other way than giving him emotional support, none of us are therapists and none if us knows what he can do about his depression. For a week now he hasn't been really joining our discord calls, just a few times really.
So about his self sabotaging, I was writing with him and he told me he is mad that no one has written him any messages, and no one has been caring for him. Wich isn't true just when I see our chat, we have been chatting a lot over these few weeks. A lot of his problems also just comes out of his mindset, wich is I guess normal for depression? So he has a good day, and then a few really little things happen (like for example a covid test didn't work so he had to take new and more of these kinds) and then he is really grumpy, mad and just overall is in the bad mood. I just don't know how to help him, he sabotages his own friends and is slowly ruining his own friendships by being mean to them and blaming everything on them and then he just feels alone. Also a way of self sabotaging, I've been texting him for a few times and he didn't respond (it was a few days ago) and then when he joins call, he just says he ignores all the messages he gets, but he is mad that people don't text him. And now I just don't know what to do, I was telling him that his manners just doesn't make sense and that he himself doesn't know what he wants from us and no matter what we do he is mad at us.
Any experiences or advices about how to help him or what could I do?
Thank you if you read it all, I know that it's long and I appreciate any tips.
|
depression
|
For this past year especially since lockdown I’ve been starting to remember some things.
When I was 9-12 I’d have this weird anxiety and fear where I’d have to do a certain noise and hand movement in a pattern or else one of my family members would pass away,
I remember it once got so bad I was sitting in the lounge room in the middle of the night saying phrases and clapping my hands for hours unable to stop,
The amount of phrases I used had to be even to the tiles on the wall etc,
Like I couldn’t stop this fear that something bad was gonna happen if I didn’t do the sequence was always there,
But when I hit adolescence it went away and never came back.
I was showing signs of OCD before adolescence and I’ve never suffered from it since then,
What’s going on?
|
OCD
|
today's turn of events have brought the decided date of my finality even closer...i am just at the edge...it's matter of time...
m done with the madness the constant feeling of being called a failure... constantly being reminded that no matter what i do i am never gonna be good enough...i am done...
if i am so worthless then it's obvious that there is no sense in continuing...
and to those who will say that things will get better... no they won't...
to those who profess to live in the moment... my every moment is my pain... and each moment pushes me to this decision
and to those who will say that there would be someone who would love me... for me that's the exact person who is responsible for paying me over the edge
|
depression
|
When I was 16 I was in a relationship with a guy and he was catholic. For some reason the fact that he believed in God bothered me. What really bothered me was the idea that God was more important to him than I was. Eventually he said that he didn’t believe in god and for me it developed into a really distressing obsession, where I would ask him every day, multiple times a day if he believed in God. I couldn’t help myself. I would read anti theist stuff often. It lasted months and then one day just left me.
To this day I still struggle to understand what that was about, where that came from and just ...why. And what it says about me as a person. I’ve never had another obsession like it. Does anyone have any idea or has anyone experienced anything like this?
|
OCD
|
I just got home now, my brother gave me a ride.
We stopped at McDonald's drive thru on our way, since I was +24 hrs without any food.
I don't live In a first world country, so some times people stop other people on the streets asking for money.
This men was talking to my brother and my brother was on the driver's seat, his gf was going shotgun and i was in the back. The man asking my brother for food, he told us about his daughter and that the church gave food to them every day, but today they didn't.
I was skeptical about this story because unfortunately it's very common see people lying about things like that to get money or food from other people trying to help.
But then my brother offered money and the guy didn't accept. Now thinking back about everything, he seemed sincere.
I had an hamburger, a chocolate bar and my mother's lunch (i was bringing to her). At this point I had already eaten my fries and drink all my soda and i felt full.
I remember that i tough about giving him my mother's fries or soda. I don't know if I didn't remember that i still had my hamburger at time of if i did but choose to not give him because i was being selfish. I completely forgot about that chocolate bar existence.
I'm feeling so guilty now.
I was full, i had food that i didn't need to eat. But everything happened so fast and my brain is so stupid and slow, i didn't had enough time to think when things happened, but i have now and I'm realizing how this was fucked. Me being so full that i couldn't eat all the food I had with me and by my side someone literally hungry without money to buy food...
I don't know if the guy was telling the truth, but even if he wasn't, it was worth to give him the food if I had a chance to help someone who was starving.
What if he go to bed feeling hungry today and that's all my fault? I could have changed that but i didn't...
Even if i try to donate money to charity, this men still might go to bed hungry today.
My brother said that he didn't want to go through the line all over again and mc Donald's food isn't very cheap here (at least not cheap to my broke ass). He and his girlfriend told me that there are a lot ppl asking for money every day on the streets and we can't help everyone, but i could have helped that men. I HAD FOOD.
The man made such a disappointed face when my brother gave him the money. He didn't seem to want it. He wanted us to buy him food. The money wasn't much anyway... It wasn't enough to buy a lunch...those luchs are more expensive than an actual dinner...
I know that it might have a chance that ocd is exaggerating things in my head making me feel guilty, but i can't help it, I'm feeling like what I did was so terrible and fucked up and cruel and selfish. What if someday i might be in the same situation that the men was?
Idk if I'm here just looking for reassurance tbh, idk if reassurance could make me feel better about that, i do feel better after sharing this story here. Thank you for allowing us this space and sorry for using the time of whoever actually read all this rant...
|
OCD
|
I applied for a job I am definitely qualified for two months late, despite starting the application a month early to try and combat my symptoms. Of course, I had trouble focusing, gave up day after day due to feeling overwhelmed, got hopeless as weeks went by and I just couldn't finish...Finally, I pushed through. I quadruple checked the application and submit it. After I submit it, I checked through everything again (pointless, I know, but alas). Naturally, I noticed AFTER I submit that I made two careless mistakes. I was desperate to get things done, I misread directions and messed up something that should be easy.
Spending so many months agonizing over this just to screw up on something so simple (classic ADHD mistake) makes me feel so sad. I feel like I've wasted the time of my friends and partner who supported me. I'm worried that I'll be suffering through another round of job applications because I basically turned down a renewal offer at my current job to apply for this one.
I know that I'm at odds because I have ADHD, and I should be gentle with myself, but it really does feel like I'm sabotaging myself. I can't email the recruiter and say "haha sorry I have executive dysfunction so of course I missed two questions!" I can't help of think of myself like they might think of me...careless and thus undeserving.
Does anybody have any tips to deal with these kinds of emotions? How do you take care of yourself after losing an opportunity because of ADHD? How do you continue to motivate yourself in spite of things like this happening?
|
ADHD
|
So where do i even start i have a lot to deal woth byt the thing thats been bothering me right now its that i think i had upeset my mom today so in bi and nonbinary amd a while ago i came out to her and i also told her that im depressed and shes been trying to help me she told me that i need to give up my phone (exept for calls) and i tried telling her that its tu much this has been going for 2-3 days and tonight she started crying( she tried to hide it but i saw a few tears) she told me she doesnt know how to make me understand i do its just its hard and i wosh i could get rid of this stupid addicion but i cant she also told me she wants me to open more to her but ots hard i have some trist issues and i really want to talk to jer but idk why whenever i tall to people about this stuff i cant speak and i freze and im also scared ill hurt her more she told me in desyroying myself and i wont let her helo i wish i just kep my mouth shut and suffered in silece and i think she is blaming jerself for my depression but its not her fault and idk what to do have i made the right choice by talking to her? And what shoul i do?
|
depression
|
TW/// i just saw a headline on apple news saying “astrazeneca and pizer vaccines associated with rare but potentially serious side effects in study” and i read it and i’m terrified.
i’m fully vaccinated with pizer since the beginning september and i’m just so scared there is some long term side effect that is going to happen to me and seeing that did not fucking help i was so scared in the first place to get it but i got it anyways and i just don’t know what to do please i don’t know what to do
|
OCD
|
We've been together for 8 years now. When we met 10 years ago I was a freshman and he was studying commerce(freshman). Today, I have a degree and I am building my career path, I'm doing pretty well some would say. It was hard because I lost my mother to cancer, had to leave home because my dad was irresponsible and we clashed a lot. I received a lot of support from both my brother and my boyfriend financially and mentally. It was tough, but I was motivated to build my career path. I've been working on a lot of personal and professional projects and I hope better things will come. My boyfriend didn't complete his degree and didn't try to study in another field. He lived in the US from 5 to 17 (we live in europe) and was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid there. He also has a bad communication skills (wrong word or syntax) but I think that's because he lived abroad and he used to stutter ? I was young and didn't think much of it. Then I realised he couldn't keep a job, and I feel like a mom sometimes. He is very unorganized. But he is smart, mature, and has been a very good advisor and supporter of me. I'm kind of obssessed with money, I guess that's because I always wanted to surpass myself and support my parents financially because of my past and background (Mom had a mental disability, dad both parents were assasinated as a kid, pressure from african family to make a good earning, brother and I were given unfairly to a foster care even tho it wasn't needed... to make it short).
I want to have kids and provide for them and push them to help others, forever if I can.
But with my boyfriend I doubt this can happen. I've been focused on myself for 8 years and I realised I need to help him. In 8 years he has worked only 2 years. I don't want to be the solo provider.
From 2019-2020 I worked for a whole year while he was at home earnings his benefits (after working for a year too) and not looking for a job. The year after I worked at home o my project almost 12h a day, and he only started looking for a job in july. He has a hard time finding a job and keeping it. He decided to start working as an independant Real Estate Agent which I support 100% and he also got a part time job in small boutique but today they decided to not keep him and it's been just a month.
Everything I read on this subreddit he does it: misplace things, forget things, forget to pay bills, not very handy, have to repeat myself A LOT... except he listen to me a lot, and improved himself in the cleaning area, he speech improved, stutter way less, he's social and is a great conversationalist tbh. He cooks, get groceries etc. He's a great boyfriend for sure even though we don't get along politically, which trigger me sometimes and add weight to possible breakup decision.
I'm afraid of what would be or future and don't want to abandon him but also don't want to act like a savior. I don't know what to do to help him. I need your advices and opinons. Am I being a jerk ? :(
I read some people are on medication and he had a prescription at around 8yo but apparently it made him slow somehow so his father made him stop. I wonder if there is any bad side effect and long term effect (I prefer natural solution).
tldr: boyfriend with ADHD can't keep a job, wonder about our financial futur, what help can I bring or should he get.
|
ADHD
|
A few days ago I threw out some trash in an open trash bin and felt a random scratch on my hand, looked at it and it was red. I checked around the bin but could not check inside it because people were staring at me all weirdly (understandably). For some god damn reason my brain keeps telling me there was a cat inside the bin which scratched me... even though I, at the time, did not see it. Now I am terrified of dying from rabies ( it is still a thing in my country ). I keep double checking my hand. That scratch went away in seconds, but there was another microscopic one which stayed and I cannot stop thinking about it. I feel like I am going insane. Same thing happens when I just randomly touch anything metallic... or just anything anywhere. I want it to stop so bad :(
|
OCD
|
“while the DSM doesn't classify Aspergers any longer, it is most likely something in that realm vs Autism. However, if we set the label aside as it isn't all that important as long as we are working on your confidence, and acceptance of self....which, will make interacting with others easier.”
Huh?
1. I thought they switched the classification from Aspergers to ASD.
2. How is the “label” or diagnosis NOT important? It kinda explains why I’ve struggled for 40+ years. It’s kinds nice having a name for it.
Is this weird to anyone else? Am I thinking about it too much?
|
aspergers
|
i’ve had ptsd for 10 years but 7 months ago had another horrible traumatic thing happen to me. i can barely get through the day. i want to be asleep or drunk all the time. i don’t want to be conscious for my life. I’m 25 and i remember horribly depressed 16 year old me telling myself i just have to keep going and maybe when i’m 25 if life is still so painful i can end it then. i’m not actively suicidal but i look at my life now and this is not what 16 year old me wanted for myself. i feel like i’ve failed that younger more optimistic version of myself. does the toll of having all this trauma ever get easier to carry? i’m in therapy but lately my therapist has mentioned that i’m still in survival mode and unable to process any of the trauma. i just want my life to be so different. i want to wake up happy or at least not depressed, i want to go to the gym and be physically active, i don’t want to be irritable all the time, i want to be the type of person that has hobbies and i dream of having a vegetable garden and eating well and socializing. instead i just drink vodka on my couch and try to drown the world out. it doesn’t help that i was a) raped in this house and b) two trans women have been murdered on my block in the last couple months. i don’t have the money to move right now but i know living here isn’t helping anything. i’ve just gotten to a point where i don’t see how my life could ever get better, more tolerable. i don’t want to be a depressed alcoholic mess but when i think about my future that’s all i can see :(
|
ptsd
|
I’ve been openly saying how I’ve been feeling, but no one seems to care. I used to believe that, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” But now, I feel as if I do not deserve anything good in my life and that all of the bad things happening to me is just the universe punishing me.
|
depression
|
I finally spoke to my GP about getting diagnosed. She’s going to refer me after we talk more in another longer appointment. I’m the meantime, she’s asked me to gather data that shows ADHD in childhood, like report cards or statements from family members.
She says this is because they need childhood information to make a diagnosis, but that since I’m not ready to discuss this with my family that we can skip it for now.
Is this normal? Wouldn’t my recollections of what I experienced plus all the reasons it wasn’t visible to others, wouldn’t that be enough?
|
ADHD
|
I know all of this may sound odd and confusing, sorry.
5 years ago after a very bad depressive episode, I almost lost my life. I was a very alienated teenager and felt like I didn’t fit anywhere. “Creep” by Radiohead was my song lol.
After that I went back to the country where I was born and spent my early childhood years, where I met all the relatives I hadn’t seen in years so I got better and actually felt like I could be happy like other people my age.
When I came back to my current country I decided to completely change my personality to look “normal” and live a “normal teenager life”. I began acting stupid, carefree like a total airhead. I stopped having straight A’s. I pretended I had a huge crush on a guy I didn’t even like. When I told my friends about him I always acted like the stereotypical 14-year-old.
After those “manic” 6 months I felt completely alienated from myself and ended up losing my friends. Turns out they didn’t actually like me and talked shit about me behind my back, saying that I was too stupid and annoying.
I went back to my “old personality” but now feeling deeply ashamed of the way I acted.
I spent my whole teenage years feeling like I had 28292 different personalities and having really a lot of existential crisis lol.
Things have got better now and I feel more “myself” now, though in social contexts I always end up acting differently and have the feeling that sometimes that’s not me. It’s very confusing.
|
depression
|
Like the warning says. This deals with sexual assault.
Last night I was meeting up with my fwb. I sort of wasn't feeling entirely into sleeping with him but I figured I just needed to give myself a chance to relax since I tend to dread the act until I actually start.
Well last night something happened. Mind you don't shame the guy. He didn't know. He's innocent in this. Anyway. As he was touching me I locked up to the point everything hurt. Like my body coiled into itself. I was able to grab his hand to stop him. Yet when I tried to explain what was wrong I found myself unable to talk. At all. Everything I tried it was like someone was choking me. Even the thought of talking nearly made me dizzy. It took nearly an hour for me to talk. Well after the incident. We had moved on and were laughing at YouTube videos yet I couldn't speak.
It was only after he jokingly gave me the worse back massage ever. It was like knew if he poked me enough I'd talk to tell him to fuck off lol... Just trying to find some humor.
I've never had that sort of flashback like that. It was bizarre. One moment I'm there with him and next moment I'm with my rapist. It both felt like it lasted just a second.. and lasted hours. It was guttural.
Does anyone have any advice on how to.. well work out of the whole sudden mute thing? Is there a name for that? Most of my uh, triggers I guess, are people standing behind me, sudden touching and tbf the night terrors I used to get more often. My attacks were years ago I didn't think it could some how do more.
|
ptsd
|
Hello guys. Please help me out here. I have sleep anxiety. My psychiatrist told me that I have ”obsessive” thoughts about it. I generally find “relief” from anxiety if I breakdown/cry to my close friends or family, telling them about my anxiety. I also go on reddit to find people with the same symptoms as me. Is that my “compulsion”? Should I stop doing that? Im on 50mg zoloft day 18. It gave me some relief but it got worse now. Please anyone... my country doesnt have a good therapist
|
OCD
|
So...
I was wondering if there is someone here who has adhd but doesn't struggle with keeping a tidy living space? Or does adhd generally come with "messiness"
For refrence, I relate to a lot of adhd symptoms. Forgetfulneas, being easily distracted, object permeance (but with people) is not a thing, having a small attention span, innatentivness, zoning out of conversations etc etc. But at the same time I am organized. Always have been. In fact, mess infuriates me and stops me from functioning.
Now I know that simply having some of the adhd symptoms doesn't mean I have adhd. And I'm not here to look for a diagnosis. I just want to know if this is a possibility and if so, how common.
|
ADHD
|
everything happens for a reason?
I used to. I did believe that. However terrible things kept happening. Arguments with people that ended up making more enemies, losing money, losing someone really important….. etc….
Does that mean anything? Is it telling me something? Is this punishment? I don’t deserve to be happy?
|
depression
|
I don't think I can keep up with pretending to look happy, I do at school, home, I did with my ex too, in a way, it's kinda why he broke up with me. Anyways, I just dont know what to do about expressing myself, nobody tries to understand why I'm doing bad in school, they see me and guess I'm happy, so they don't try to reach out. Either that or they don't care.
And not just that, but recently I haven't been able to recognize the people I know. I saw my mom updated her profile picture on Facebook and made a sudden realization, I don't know what she looks like. I'm going to be staying at my dad's for a few months but I saw my mom just 3 days ago. After that, I realized I didn't recognize my ex, my close friends, or my siblings. Is this a common thing for depression? Or is this completely unrelated?
|
depression
|
When I look at the criteria for autism I remember having a lot of these symptoms growing up and even still but there was a lot of neglect and abuse growing up.is it possible that I’ve masked most of my symptoms. I stim in my room instead of other people because I didn’t like the way I was humiliated while doing it or even ostracized.is it possible I’ve been masking so well for years because when I’m in my room the wall comes down.
I study people and I learn what they like especially if they are black.I’ve been in foster care group home situations since I was 14 and I’m often the only black person so the responsibility of being funny and stereotypically black falls on me.as soon as I can’t be that anymore people don’t want to deal with me.people call me social but my socializing takes so much effort.
My life is filled with traumatic events and this January overloaded me.to the point that I can’t mask anymore and I’m noticing people find me intolerable.but I literally don’t care or have the energy.
I know that being black and female makes it much easier to over look that I have this diagnosis.I’m not certain if I have this diagnosis but I’m looking into it.female is in quotations because I identify as non-binary.
|
aspergers
|
I know it might sound weird but my ocd makes it really hard for me to read something specially when it’s important and crucial. Example: when I have to send an email and I don’t know whether I actually put the right email or not and I cannot read it, like I’m not sure if it’s right no matter how many times I check it’s so difficult to me to accept that it’s right. Same with essential info, I feel like I’m not reading at all. OCD is indeed really weird.
|
OCD
|
Do you Aspies also have the inability to process papers, or pages anywhere when things are writen in a bad way.
For example when titles are inconsistent on the papers, I see the title as different from the text and I try to calculate how the title seems to affect the text and get confused, I can see how the title is just badly written but my brai won’t allow me to compile and store the document and even test it after because its mot all consistent.
It is like I have this need to make everything consistent with eachother and when you are like that, you start to notice that the way most things are written are extremely inconsistent and so it is harder to process.
My brain is incredibly good and I’m incredibly innovative and logical
But most schools write their tests and lessons in such odd ways which makes it so odd to concentrate on.
I have to keep changing the variables of
items in my head and sure the way the
write it is true but it’s inconsistent.
I always assign items to either a variable or a function or a fact.
Is it just OCD, or more? Per your opinion.
Do you have this too?
|
aspergers
|
I am 15 years old and cuddled a cuddly toy for the first time in my life a few months ago. I've been doing it every night since then. I imagine that the cuddly toy is a human being who likes me. Sometimes I cry because it reminds me that I will never be hugged and because I hate myself for doing something so childish.
|
depression
|
I have adhd and i can only concentrate in subjects i am interested in.plus i cant even keep concentrating over the year,cause in the begining i was fully focused at every lesson and now its close to Christmas holidays and i am only confident that i will succeed in 4 out of 9 subjects in this semester.It is far better than last year were i only succeeded in 3 lessons both semesters but the thing is my country university is free,and it used to be that you could finish whenever you wanted,but now you have x+2 years yo finish and if you fail,you are no longer considered a student and have to start all over again.I know that each semester i am becoming better but i think that this effort is not enough for me to finish in time.
|
ADHD
|
TW: death, suicide attempt
Hey guys. I have OCD just like all of you, specifically PureO (harm OCD and health ocd)
Last week something really scary happened, a close friend tried to overdose and I’m still not okay from that happening. Luckily he is alive but now every time I see bottles of advil or hear the word I immediately think of what happened. Also my mom just called me today saying that my family dog of 12 years is most likely going to have to be put to sleep tomorrow or this week. As if last week didn’t trigger my OCD Enough I’ve recently been not able to look at my dog because I know he’s getting older and I just picture him dying. And now that it’s actually happening I’m an absolute mess. So not only is my OCD out of control right now I feel zero serotonin and keep on crying thinking about everything. The thoughts in my head have been so bad. I know time heals but in the meantime I don’t know how to keep my mind off all of this I just am so upset and frustrated that my brain won’t shut up
|
OCD
|
Does anyone else here find that compulsions such as handwashing/other physical compulsions are triggered by a perceived physical feeling of discomfort as well as, or moreso than, cognitive beliefs? Most OCD information seems to focus much more on worries (of contamination etc) and doesn't mention the physical uncomfortable feeling. How many of you also experience this?
|
OCD
|
2.5 years ago, I had a near death experience that landed me in a medically induced coma for 9 days. I thought 10 years had gone by when I woke up and I lost 30 pounds of muscle. That experiences also unlocked a lot of repressed memories for me. I was sleeping at most 4 hours a night, barely eating and I couldn't stand the company of others. I was a horrible wreck and barely able to function.
1.5 years after that experience, I was able to start therapy. I also went back to physical therapy and both of these therapists kept recommending a book to me about the impact PTSD has on us. It was written by a psychologist who has been treating trauma since the early 1970s, starting with Vietnam War veterans, moving on to specializing in treating people who have been physically or sexually abused as children.
It took me a long time to finally get this book. I was convinced the connection I had with my body was permanently altered because of this overwhelming experience. I could barely feel my left side, my throat was totally numb from the tube they had down my throat even 2 years later. The sheets of my bed made my skin crawl, reminding me of struggling weakly to move around in the hospital bed. I was too traumatized to believe relief was possible.
Then I started reading this book. Maybe this wont be everyone, but reading this book makes me think that what is happening to me is actually understandable, its manageable, its treatable and its **not permanent**. I can feel more now, things are getting better, its easier for me to de-escalate the tension and stress I feel on a daily basis.
https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748
|
ptsd
|
I had a situation with flooding in my apartment, and I fixed it- but I’m still obsessing so hard that my nails are bloody. I spent a ton of money. I’m feeling insanely anxious still. Why do I still feel so upset? What am I missing?
|
OCD
|
Hello! This might be the wrong sub but I figured people could help me here.
I’ve been of vyvanse for my adhd and anxiety for years and it’s worked great. I pay a little over 40 for a bottle of 30 pills.
Friend of mine was prescribed Vyvanse, but even with insurance, it still costs him around 250. Same amount of pills, same dosage, everything.
So what gives? I’m a bit confused on how this works and why he can’t get his for a decent price.
|
ADHD
|
My depression and anxiety have been at peak for last couple of weeks. Struggled to even get out of my bed, lost appetite and fucked up bowl movements to the point that i have lost weight and bleed through stool everytime I attempt to poop.
I have an important deadline (dissertation submission) coming up and I haven't started working on the project yet. My supervisor hasn't been very helpful when I reached out to change the project. I have told me enough times that I feel stuck and the only response I got was reach out if you feel stuck. At times I didn't even know what to reach out for. Been in isolation for a month now. Things started getting better last Friday when finally anti-depressants started working after 3 weeks. I am still anxious and don't know where to start from or who to talk to.
I just don't know what to do. Everyday I have been waiting for death but don't have the guts to do it because I don't want to lose my life over a system's failure. I know I just need to get through this but the time passing by and I need to get this shit done. Started the degree and the project with high ambition but at this moment I just want to get through. Haven't even started looking for jobs because I have been mentally paralysed to do anything. I need someone to guide me through the process. I don't care if people think it's spoon feeding but I need specific guidance to through this. I know there's a lot I can experience and do but this is an unavoidable commitment I am struggling to meet.
This constant oscillation between I don't want to exist and one day at time because there is more to the life is killing me. Just start somewhere is a good but vague advice I don't know what do with it. I don't want to just talk about my problem and no get any solution. I have reached a point beyond venting and I need the solutions to my problem so talking to friends and family isn't helping.
Please help.
|
depression
|
major sexual assault trigger warning
my (f19) boyfriend (m20) just started some new medication which has a lot of side effects, including intense muscle twitching, which he gets in his sleep.
i was assaulted last fall so it’s pretty fresh and i’m still recovering. my boyfriend has been amazing with helping me understand that i can still be capable of loving both myself and other people. he is extremely understanding and patient.
however, when we are sleeping together he tend to get these “twitches” where he for example aggressively turns around or he starts waving his arms around. and twice it has happened that he puts me in a chokehold position and i have to physically slap his arms to let me go. and last time this happened he even used his leg to push against my more private part. it literally triggered an entire anxiety attack and i felt so unsafe lying next to him. not because it’s him but because it felt like the assault.
anyway, my dilemma is whether or not i should tell him, because he is yet to wake up whenever this happens so he literally doesn’t know this has happened except the first time he put me in a chokehold. i don’t know if it has any effect at all other than giving him the worst guilt ever. hoping for some advice, thank you!
|
ptsd
|
I love you. I know it's so hard, it's so tormenting. But you will make it out alive if you just keep on pushing. You are brave, you are strong, you are amazing, you are so real and true and I'm so glad that every single one of you reading this are still here. With us. We are a community and we will all get through this.
I know with these types of OCD, you feel like a complete monster
'how could I have done that?'
'I shouldn't have these thoughts'
And it's so torturous. It feels like a loss of identity. But please stay here. Stay here despite it all.
You will make it through this day.
|
OCD
|
So it has come to my attention that I've become entirely too comfortable being depressed this year. In my defense, there haven't been major victories or goals that I was able to reach that would have given me reason to revel in success or enjoy a meal with triumph. 2021 was supposed to be the year I laid down a strong foundation to begin building a highly sustainable, well insulated life that didn't revolve around any one person. Needless to say, didn't quite work out like that. That fed the depression, the unhealthy darkness that I have been trying to unite under the same roof or banner if you prefer with the bright side of me. Is the slide irreversible? No but it is going to require a commitment to allowing myself to be happy and enjoy life rather than waiting for something to fall apart around me. There's nothing to be gained in expecting the worst and being arguably disappointed when Murphy's law doesn't steamroll you.
​
I'm not posting this for sympathy or in order to pretend I am above anyone else in fighting this constant battle. I'm posting it because I've been a coward about facing this for a while, I've been aware that I was getting into bad habits and unhealthy thought patterns. I just haven't had the conviction and therefore the tools to fight it. For me to win: I'm going to have to be both vigilant and proactive, so I'm not just waiting for a rough week or day to just send me back to the quicksand of misery from where I have become entirely too often a regular.
|
depression
|
My dad was in Desert Storm when I was a kid and he hasn't been the same since. He also was in Kuwait, and Afghanistan.
I've been watching him slowly go on a downward spiral with his drinking and life and I want to help him but there's no way that I can relate or understand anything that he's been through.
He won't talk to anyone about it unless they're the right person, something that I understand but I want to know what I can do to help.
I tell him I love him every day, but with the recent deaths of friends in his life, things have been getting worst and I don't know how much time I'll have left with him.
Is there anything that I can do?
|
ptsd
|
Man. Life is going ok. I'm 41 female. Life long sufferer of depression and anxiety. Medicated the last 20. I'm starting a new job, starting graduate school, stopped drinking and I just finished TMS. My depression was down to zero. Now all I want to do is lay around, sleep and cry. Out of the blue. So damn disheartening.
|
depression
|
1. There is something limiting me that is outside of my control.
2. I also have above average abilities that have garnered high expectations from myself and my peers.
3. The acknowledgement that if I could just get my shit together long enough, I could be excelling in life.
IF I have ADHD, steps 1 to 3 are all completely justified.
If I don't have anything wrong with me (I.e. something diagnoseable and treatable), then this means these are personal faults. If unequivocally there is nothing wrong with me, then what's the point of carrying on living? I don't enjoy life, there are things that make me happy and bring me joy - that I cannot deny. And I can sit here all day and count my blessings, how I'm lucky to have do many things going for me. But the overall experience as I approach my 30s is pretty....empty? I'm not bitter either, I have 0 qualms with ending my life because I'm simply not enjoying the experience (outside of the pain it would cause my family). In the same way I have the ability to switch off the TV if I'm not enjoying the content. I don't get upset that the content isn't good enough, I'm just not interested in sticking the full thing through.
|
ADHD
|
Sometimes I get so many intrusive thoughts I can’t even progress. They make me feel so anxious and scare me sm. I don’t even know what to do anymore :(
|
OCD
|
Do hotlines help I want to talk to someone because I am just tired of life.
|
depression
|
I've had so many "stages" of harm ocd: thoughts, images, commands and now I was starting to control my false urges. As soon as I was a little bit chill a thought said " Maybe if you do it, this horrible feelings will pass" and there you go, panic attack again etc. I just wanted to know, Is this a normal thought? Is ocd trying to steal my attention giving me this thought now that I'm no longer bothered by other symptoms?
Please, please help me!! I'm shaking since last night, I just can't calm down...I'm so scared
|
OCD
|
I have Borderline disorder but my therapist think that I could have ocd traits (I'm waiting for a proper diagnosis) I'm dealing with this since I was 7 and it's pure hell.
My primary obsession is that something bad would happen to my loved ones, but it's mostly about my favorite person (it's a borderline thing, that's the person you fear to loose) with fp a "normal" person with borderline disorder would fear they loose interested in them or they are angry with them so they don't reach out, if my fp don't reach out I start to think that something horrible happen to them, with time I have developed a lot of magic thinking , I do rituals and avoid some topics that can "arm" my best friend (that's my fp) I keep thinking "if something bad happen it's only your fault" . I think that's ocd related, having some traits of another disorder it's not unusual but it's so damn difficult for me, I feel terrible for always checking on my friend and getting anxious, I ended up calling her to know if she's ok so many damn times, I don't have any control for this fear. If someone have similar problems please reach out, I feel so lonely with this hell, even if you don't have Borderline it's ok, I just need to know if someone have the same obsession.
|
OCD
|
I just turned 20. I don’t have my license due to anxiety (though it’s not an excuse and I should get it, I’m just a POS that feels incredibly overwhelmed when driving) I don’t have money saved up. My boss sucks and took away more of my hours. I tell my mom that I want to die and she screams at me. I’m using this last week to get everything together and then I’m leaving. I don’t want to be on this earth anymore and I’m done.
|
depression
|
At the end of the day, I feel very insecure and have a throbbing headache and loss of sleep? Has anyone got any way to get over it?
|
depression
|
I am writing this as I don't have anyone else to write it to and even if there is, I am sure they are sick and tired of my bullshit, I know I would. This has been going for such a long time it's hard to pinpoint when it started but it's definitely way worse this year, after a series of unfortunate events and hardships throughout it.I feel very empty and apathethic, and nothing gives me any joy anymore, not a single one of the few activities that I liked on this Earth. Every single assignment, chore and responsability just sucks the life out of me no matter how little it is. I've always thought of myself as being extremely lazy and I am to some extent, but it is so hard to bring myself to do almost anything and only recently I started considering that maybe it's not just laziness.
My sleep schedule is trash as I usually go to sleep around 4-5 AM, but not because I can't fall sleep. Only these days I questioned my habit and I came to the answer that Ihe thought of the next day coming with it's work and responsabilities just disgusts me so much that I don't want it to start, I don't want the peaceful night to end. But it's always at night when I feel the worst and the loneliest. Interesting enough, throughout the day I have no trouble talking with friends, socializing, joking, laughing and doing various activities with them, but deep inside it's just not fulfilling me, nothing is. There is no goal I can think of that would me satisfy me once achieved and I have no motivation to do anything. It is eating away at me. It is hard to explain to anyone why I feel this way without any apparent reason. There are days when I know that a good cry would feel pretty good but I just can't, as I feel that I am more empty than sad. I feel tired, burned out and lost.
|
depression
|
Not just startle responses, but those two-second panics or “tiny flashbacks” before you realize where/when you are. I’ve sent this piece (full version: http://www.tnellen.com/cybereng/harrison.html) to more than a few loved ones because the following quotes describe those daily interruptions better than anything else I’ve encountered.
From Harrison Bergeron, a dystopian short story by Kurt Vonnegut:
And George, while his intelligence was way above normal, had a little mental handicap radio in his ear. He was required by law to wear it at all times. It was tuned to a government transmitter. Every twenty seconds or so, the transmitter would send out some sharp noise to keep people like George from taking unfair advantage of their brains.
[...]
A buzzer sounded in George's head. His thoughts fled in panic, like bandits from a burglar alarm.
[...]
George was toying with the vague notion that maybe dancers shouldn't be handicapped. But he didn't get very far with it before another noise in his ear radio scattered his thoughts.
[...]
He began to think glimmeringly about his abnormal son who was now in jail, about Harrison, but a twenty-one-gun salute in his head stopped that.
"Boy!" said Hazel, "that was a doozy, wasn't it?"
It was such a doozy that George was white and trembling, and tears stood on the rims of his red eyes. Two of of the eight ballerinas had collapsed to the studio floor, were holding their temples.
[...]
If Hazel hadn't been able to come up with an answer to this question, George couldn't have supplied one. A siren was going off in his head.
"Reckon it'd fall all apart," said Hazel.
"What would?" said George blankly.
"Society," said Hazel uncertainly. "Wasn't that what you just said?
"Who knows?" said George.
[...]
"My God-" said George, "that must be Harrison!"
The realization was blasted from his mind instantly by the sound of an automobile collision in his head.
|
ptsd
|
so i just remembered something i did in middle school that was very wrong of me. so like two different people, i think i molested them, so like okay idk if it was molestation cause they seemed okay with it, i mean it could have been a weird first sexual experience but i literally just remembered it.
okay so the first guy, i randomly touched his private area one day in the library, he seemed okay with it, and he let me do it for the whole of the period we were in, and then this weird thing where he let me slap his ass, i do remember him telling me not to do that, i do think i stopped after, and then we kinda started "dating" after that(Literally lasted a day technically, it happened on a friday and i ended it on monday).
the second guy, apparently did something simular with the first guy, i don't actually know. so like i poked this guys crotch with the erased part of the pencil, i mean only thing i did and im pretty sure we were friends for atleast two more years after that(i kinda stopped contact with everyone in that school after leaving it). also, weirdly enough bot of these people dated my best friend at the time, not when i did these things, like ehhh.
okay while typing i remembered a weird thing i did, my school was a "special" school, basically a school for behavioral problems. we had these break cards, they put different colors in these envelopes every day, so a short amount of time i was able to help with that, i remember rubbing a different persons against my own crotch, i don't know why i did it, i think i was stupid in middle school. don't think it really did anything to the paper cause germs leave paper after a couple of days and i don't think anyone touched it until the next week, also this guy later on sent me a dick pic, i also later found out he sent one to the second guy.
none of them seemed to remember any of these things tbh, like the two people, they didn't really seem to care at all, i mean they never explicitly told me i had permission, but like they seemed okay with it at the time, but now im kinda questioning it all, i never did anything like that again.is this a form of real event ocd?
|
OCD
|
I dont think I worded that correctly, so let me explain. So, I want to learn language but one symptom of my ADHD is bad memory retention. I have played memory games consistently but I am not getting any better. I am planning to go to Germany to see my half sister and would love to surprise her with speaking some German while I am there. But I would also love to learn Japanese in general. Is there anybody else who deals with this, that can give me any advice?
|
ADHD
|
I don't have the mental energy to explain much, but I just need to say it somewhere. I don't know if I feel more guilty for those who have been hurt due to my inactions, or if I use the guilt as an excuse for wanting justice for myself. On one hand I feel selfish for wanting justice for my own sanity, but on the other I feel like it's all my fault for not reporting my rapist sooner and letting other women be hurt by him while I was running away from it all. Is it wrong of me to want justice for myself? Am I selfish? Do I not deserve to have those thoughts seeing my inactions led to the pain of many more? I don't know how to recover when I feel I don't deserve to.
|
ptsd
|
First of all I really am sorry if this is not the right sub for my post. I've just been wondering if I do indeed have PTSD.
In my early 20s, my uncle took his own life by hanging, in my parents' living room. I was the first to find him. I was shaken and honestly the image of his limp lifeless body swaying back and forth will forever be burned in my mind. But after a few days, I surprisingly got better emotionally, even a lot better than my parents had expected. I was traumatized yes. But I handled it better. I went back to my usual cheerful-self in no time.
The thing is, that horrifying day still sometimes comes back to haunt me. I still occassionaly have nightmares about that day. And whenever it happens I will wake up with a start and have this intense sensation of dread and fear as if being watched, which is the reason why I always sleep with the lights on. I had never had troubles sleeping with the lights off before that day.
I don't think I should be worrying about it though, since it happens **very** rarely. But when it does, the dread lingers for the rest of the day which affects my mood. I am worried that maybe unconsciously there's something more serious about my trauma and maybe I should go see someone?
|
ptsd
|
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