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Every time I go to new places, everything gets so distorted in paranoid nature. I wonder if what I am experiencing is a symptom of ASD.
Every thing kind of shifts at first, but that is only when in new places for the first time.
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aspergers
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I’m trying to figure out whether I have ADHD while being assessed for it and chronic boredom is something I’ve thought a lot about.
I “suffer” from boredom a lot and it’s really frustrating.. however I’m not sure whether what I am experiencing is chronic boredom or just boredom.
So what is chronic boredom like for you all? TIA.
Edit: Like what do you (not) do? Do you just sit and do nothing? Why don’t you just watch a movie or something?? Etc
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ADHD
|
I have to admit that when I was a child I struggled with ADHD, though at the time I didn’t really feel it just because I was a kid. I couldn’t pay attention to my own symptoms.
Now, years later in life I have been unmedicated since before I started middle school. I am now a father of a beautiful baby girl and I see that my ADHD has gotten bad. I don’t notice it too often but I am starting to be able to pinpoint it. I have been scared of medication since the side effects turned me into a zombie but now I’m on the cusp of my fiancée leaving me and taking the baby because I can’t keep focused.
Tonight, for example, I said I would put away my fiancee’s pumped breast milk before it expired when our child woke up. Our child woke up, I took care of her, and then when I finally got her to sleep I passed out and totally forgot. My fiancée had to throw it away and told me that she hates even looking at me or being around me. I know she’s going through a lot as well, this isn’t easy for any of us. But honestly I hate myself for being so scatter brained. I’m trying to get on medication but sadly it’s really difficulty I find a doctor close by. I want to do better, I need to do better for my family but I feel so useless. Until I get medicated I could use some advice to help control my ADHD in terms of the attention span issues. Some tricks you all have to make sure you don’t forget something important
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ADHD
|
Why just when I'm starting to think they're gone they come back but stronger then ever I'm tired of continously feeling guilty for everything I do but I'm also scared that one day all my intrusive thoughts come to life what if they aren't intrusive thoughts to begin with and I'm just convincing myself they are because I'm in denial? I'm so scared of myself bro every decision I make feels like I'm walking on eggshells
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OCD
|
i have this problem where i just cant get myself to do things unless im required to do them. ill get up for school, do my homework, go to work, you know all that. but when it comes to getting up to watch a movie, or to one of my hobbies, i just can't. ill be sitting in bed and think "i should be doing \_\_\_ right now" but for some reason theres this wall inside my brain that just blocks me from doing the things i enjoy and i dont understand why. no one understands why. my friends dont understand. i tried explaining it to my therapist and they didn't understand either. "why don't you try just thinking about doing them more?" "is it because you're too tired to do them?" its not either of those things. its like smth is just broken in my brain.
please tell me someone here relates to this. i feel the only person in the whole universe that has this problem. it shouldnt be an issue but it is for some reason. idk whats wrong with me.
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ADHD
|
Saying headcanon bc in my life I don't think I've ever encountered a character that was explicitly stated as having ADHD
My favorites are:
Francis from Malcolm in the Middle
Aang from ATLA
Maria from Sound of Music
Andy Dwyer from Parks and Rec
Troy Barnes from Community
I'm willing to write individual essays arguing for each of their diagnoses but for the sake of everyone here who cannot read 16 paragraphs of information I will keep it to myself.... *for now....*
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ADHD
|
The title says it all. I have a friend that is very depressed and she will text our group chat sometimes and mention that she's sad or that she needs help etc but it just makes me angry for some reason, its like i do not want to hear about others emotions. But then randomly i will feel immense sadness, especially for this friend, like so sad that i cry thinking about how depressed she must be and i just wish i can help her. but, when confronted in the moment with emotional issues i have been told by friends that i am like a brick wall and completely unhelpful and often just give very blunt and honest answers, even if i kind of know it may be hurtful. does anyone else experience this??? i know it was poorly explained but i dont want to come off as an asshole but it really manifests into a 'i dont care' attitude. like something about being confronted with the emotions of others just completely shuts me down.
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ADHD
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I love plants, potted flowers, anything green producing oxygen. My house growing up was full of them, my mum took good care of them.
When I started living independently years ago I bought plants and they all died. Either due to dehydration or over watering.
My kids and my pets are all well and good because they make themselves known when they need something. And I can look at a plant 10 times a day and think - you need water mister, and then I still don't water it till 3 weeks later.
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ADHD
|
I noticed long before I was diagnosed that I tend to plan out interactions for minor stuff (gas station, restaurant, post office, etc.) I noticed it because I ordered soda in a restaurant with some coworkers and they thought it was odd that I ordered "Diet" instead of "Diet Coke." I did this because if you order Diet Coke you have to have a whole long conversation about "we only have Pepsi so is Diet Pepsi ok?" The ordering of just "Diet" short-circuits the whole thing. I explained this to everyone and they looked at me strangely. Then I realized not everyone does that sort of thing. Does anyone relate?
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aspergers
|
I'm losing my mind but I'm not even trying to get it back. No one knows that I have felt this way for most of my life. I push the people I need most away. Sometimes I just wish I didn't exist. I don't want to off myself, but I can't keep going much longer.
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depression
|
Can anyone give me some suggestions to stop engaging with these negative thoughts? The last few days, I've been desperately trying to avoid a spiral because of overthinking my relationship and my partner. The shitty thing is, OCD seems to take valid concerns and warps them beyond recognition, so that you think they're still rational.
I've tried all the tricks and even followed my own advice on sticking to the facts and not letting myself make assumptions, but fuck it's hard when you're right in the middle of an episode! No matter what I do, the thoughts keep crawling back in. I just want to stop it so bad. It's affecting how I feel about my partner right now and I hate it so much. Is there anything that works for you that I can use to have a bit of fucking peace and quiet?
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OCD
|
I know the title sounds terrible and it's true. My story began roughly 3 months ago ( I was never depressed before) when my ex gf had some major troubles in her life. I helped her through the stuff she had on the table like I always do, but this time it somehow got to me. The more I listened I calmed her, the more depressed I became. Eventually a month and a half went by, I couldn't do shit, no plans, no activities, nothing at all with anyone. My ex left me during my depression. Since then 5 weeks have passed. I have some days when I convince myself that I'm feeling better, it usually helps a lot, but after all its artificial, cause the happiness does not come naturally I force myself to be happy.
I've tried meeting people, going to parties even tried hooking up. I have a business on my own, I graduate from college in 3 months, I'm getting my drivers license finally and been excersizing with weights, btw I'm 22. So obviously I know that these things should make me happy, I'm doing well given my age I guess. Yet somehow if I don't force myself everyday to do the activities I need, I'd be in bed just like now, working from bed, crying, completing the drivers license, crying, phoning people about business, crying, then I'll do my exercise and cry. Soon I'll add preparing to exams and crying to the list.
I'm at a point where I don't even want to meet my friends. I just want to stay home, and prey that my situation get's better, because it seems like the harder I try to force myself to be happy the greater I'll fall. I'm exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally. I tried to overcome this depression, I'll keep trying for some more time, but I know that I can't live like this for much longer. Every day is a constant battle within myself, each day I have to decide that I have to fight for my happiness and it's draining my resources, I'm almost depleted. I'm numb, I just wan't to sleep all day, yet I can't because I have obligations. I just wish sometimes that I don't wake up. I don't care if people are hurt if I pass, because it feels like it's the only decision I'm making for myself in a long time.
Life lost its vibrant colours for me. It's all grey and I don't give a fuck about anything anymore. I just do things because I have to. If I could I'd lock myself into a room, where I could go to sleep for eternity, things would not hurt that way, I'd be finally free. Existence is pain. I don't know how people live with depression for years, I'm going to end this shit if it doesn't stop.
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depression
|
I have tried timmytimer.com and pomodoro-tracker.com
I want to know other sites too if you have other suggestions. The 2 I mentioned above I think doesn’t suit me. I am currently studying a new skill and transitioning to be employed. I am also medicated (Ritalin) but the effect doesn’t last long. My solution is to use Pomodoro to track the time working on a specific project before the effect of Ritalin fades away.
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ADHD
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Thought I’d share what I’m almost certain is OCD that started when I was 16. After a bad breakup, which I’m pretty sure I struggled with OCD during that too, about a month later I remember getting mad at something my dad said and later my mom was talking to me and trying to make me feel better. When she was done she said I love you and I said it back only after I said I love you too I got this rush of guilt, and was basically forced to pace back and forth and think about why I felt like that. I brought my dad upstairs to talk to him about it, and I basically was tearing up and telling him i felt like I only said I love you too because I felt like I had to, and he told me to just sit downstairs with everyone and try to enjoy the night. Eventually those thoughts escalated into intrusive thoughts of hurting my mom, which was probably the worst thing I’ve felt ever. I was scared to be around my mom. One night I remember I got an intrusive thought that said word for word “kill your parents” and it was probably the worst I felt during that episode. I couldn’t sleep right, or eat as much as I normally do, and I lost about 10 pounds. I searched the word guilt and felt worse cause I still wasn’t sure what was going on. I went to a movie with a friend during that time and a character in the movie said the word guilt and it brought back the same feelings I had when it started, I couldn’t sit still or eat the popcorn, and I got bad stomach pains and had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the movie. I thought I was going crazy during that time. It wasn’t until I was 18 when I had a different episode that I realized I might have OCD.
Another thing is that I had an almost uncontrollable compulsion to tell my mom that I didn’t love her, but I only ever confessed to smoking weed with my girlfriend at the time to my dad, cause that was on my mind too.
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OCD
|
Honestly, I'm tired of feeling like I'm never going to do anything right and that I'm just going annoy everyone with my presence. I feel like I'm just a burden to my husband and his family and what's the point of living if that's how I'm always going to feel?
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depression
|
I understand the struggles that others are facing when it comes to OCD but the amount of posts on this subreddit that dive into really triggering topics without any sort of trigger warning is pretty big and many even include the triggering obsession right into the title. It's already great that certain obsessions are marked with the NSFW and spoiler flair but it would even be better if the titles of the posts were just the trigger warning + the OCD theme your facing so something like "TW: POCD, Harm OCD". Including a trigger warning helps other sufferers including me who end up developing or repeating obsessions because we come across post titles that are triggering.
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OCD
|
I am unsure that this is the correct mental illness subreddit to ask for help with this on—for example, it is difficult to discern obsessions or compulsions in my life—but it seems like the best option given what I know about myself. I have been thinking about my undergrad thesis topic for months and only recently have finally begun writing. But the more time I spend with it, the more unlikely and even impossible it seems that I will ever write this thesis. The writing experience presents itself to me as an attack by an unmanageable amount of details, of thoughts that I have had about this topic over the course of this long process. I cannot discern while writing between a contingent detail and my central argument. When I attempt to return to thinking, in case the problem is that I have not thought through my arguments sufficiently, I am overwhelmed by questions of rhetorical organization and other details. Even my attempts to discuss or write about what happens to me when I write this project feels like it is arbitrarily excluding other fundamental problems. I am not satisfied with this explanation at all, but does this experience resonate with any other writers, and does anyone else have any suggestions? I have been paying more attention to the need to take breaks and staying mindful, but that doesn’t prevent me from remaining in the same pathological patterns of thinking.
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OCD
|
I’m not looking for a diagnosis, I’m just wondering if I should ask my psychiatrist about the possibility. I obsess over a specific thought every other week, and the thought usually brings me distress. I’ve obsessed over the thought of being a sociopath, a rapist, and a dangerous person to name a few. All of these thoughts usually relate to me being either a good or a bad person. For example, when I was afraid that I was a sociopath I spent hours researching sociopathy and taking online quizzes. I’ve also obsessed over things that I shouldn’t logically be worried about, like a while ago I was so worried over a cologne brand of all things. I was diagnosed with ADHD and ASD if that has anything to do with it. I’m also fifteen years old.
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OCD
|
where to start? so, i have ptsd from surviving a school shooting. this week sucks. it’s the start of the trial of the older shooter. everything is so upsetting. i can’t sleep; i keep being woken up by nightmares where i have to shoot and kill my classmates in order to wake up. and now all eyes are on the court room. i have cried my eyes out for the past three days and damn i just need a break. :/
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ptsd
|
I am 27F and have been seeing my psychiatrist for a few months now. She's been great so far. I am getting treatment for depression and anxiety and am currently taking Lexapro 10mg and Xanax as needed. I have been reading stories of people with ADHD and I have begun to suspect I have ADHD for multiple reasons: I cannot focus at work and outside of work. I'm constantly putting off starting and finishing a task. I have no impulse control with money and I binge-eat like crazy. I can't sit still when watching a movie or tv show as I'm constantly playing with my hair, picking at my nails or biting the inside of my cheek. I then realize I haven't paid attention at all to what I am watching or listening to. I spend a ton of money on hobbies that I give up once something else catches my eye.
I emailed my psychiatrist about these issues for us to talk about next session. I've never been diagnosed with ADHD before or tried ADHD meds but I am very curious if it could help me. Wish me luck guys <3
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ADHD
|
Just failed a university course for the first time. It was my fault. I can't focus well on lectures or force myself to sit down. I am usually a straight As student but only can scrape by with doing things last minute. This time I just gave up. Because I was already incredibly depressed. I needed this course to graduate and I have to retake it next semester. Next semester I am supposed to be graduating. I am going to graduate next semester but I just don't feel I am ready to be placed in the work force.
I don't even know how to drive.
My room is a mess.
i don't know how to take care of myself.
I fucked up and lashed out at 2 of my closest friends in university . I apologized but I still hurt them badly. Does it get better.
Please , I just want to hear some stories from you guys that it does. Having a combination of ADHD , anxiety and depression is hell.
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ADHD
|
I got my cat specifically for PTSD. I have a history of suicidal ideation, intrusive thoughts, and overall I am just so traumatized I hardly see the light in the world. My body betrays me constantly, and while I’m taking meds & I’m in therapy, my doctor recommended getting a cat so I can give something non-human love & have it love me back.
When I say I’m trying everything, I mean it. I’ve had cats growing up and I know how lovely & affectionate they can be. I got an adult cat recently who was found on the streets. He doesn’t want anything to do with me; I try to keep his stress low but he’s constantly licking, rough playing, and jumps out of my arms/sits far away from me.
While I understand the cat owes me nothing, I feel like this might be the one thing standing between me bearing to see another sunrise. I need something to hold and love without it resisting or resenting me. There’s a million cats out there, am I really a bad person for wanting one that’ll love me back??
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ptsd
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it started around october i think, i was watching a video on toddlers and tiaras and then i started thinking i might be a pedophile and i kept going over the thought in my head and feeling really guilty
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OCD
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And this song started playing that was so repeating "get out my head" I got chills
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OCD
|
I was placed in Special Ed due to having both ADHD and Asperger’s in preschool.
The school psychiatrist monitoring me discussed my evaluation with my mother, telling her that I had Asperger’s and that I was “intelligent”, and that I just needed “more challenges”. After that appointment, I was immediately placed in regular classes.
I feel that to this day she was lying, because I feel rather daft. Do these people tend to lie or they actually say it how it is?
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aspergers
|
I've struggled with PTSD for 13 years now. At the end of last year, at the urging of a psychiatrist who actually took a few minutes to give a damn, I filed a claim with Veterans Affairs for disability for it. Though it's not service induced, I was in the service when my trauma occurred, as was my abuser, and the military not only allowed it to happen, but victim shamed me when I finally came forward (after about a year of abuse). Abuser went on to have three other women bring military charges against him for abuse before he was discharged, and the military did the same for every case - victim shame the women, and fiercely protect the abuser.
The last eight months have been absolute hell. Having to relive everything I've worked 13 years to forget or at least numb myself to. Digging up all this old baggage to fill out the ever increasing forms they send, being sent to a complete stranger to answer a barrage of uncomfortable questions, being mentally and emotionally poked and prodded from all sides. I even have a form now I've had for a month that I just can't bring myself to finish, despite it literally being a list of doctors I've seen and what time frames I saw them.
Yesterday I got a letter from the VA. They've rated my disability, and I will now get monthly compensation for the rest of my life. I can't help but feel like it's stupid, but I also feel... Vindicated? Money isn't going to solve my problems, it's not going to make the thoughts and feelings and memories go away. It's not going to make the struggle of staying alive any easier. But, for some reason just having someone say the equivalent of" Yea, that's not right" and take some freaking responsibility for it just makes me feel like maybe I'm not this big fuck up I always feel like I am. I feel legitimized. Vindicated for everything I've had to endure.
And I can't help but feel petty and stupid for feeling that way.
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ptsd
|
I been to the doctors and hospital (taken by ambulance, yes the attacks were that bad) and they didn't even blood test me or anything. Only checked my blood pressure which was always high.
I keep having symptoms like left arm pain, chest pain and discomfort, shoulder pain and a bit of neck pain and sometimes tingles in my fingertips. And tonight I felt like I couldn't swallow.
The doctors said its just a panic attack and that they can mimic heart attacks.
I don't understand why I have these, why they get so bad, why I feel like I actually am gonna have a heart attack which makes me freak out more.
Im tired of feeling like this. Im terrified even when im not having a panic attack. I made a cardiologist appointment but the earliest they had was dec.22. I still took that date but still its so far away.
Please tell me someone out there has the same symptoms I have. I feel so alone and I feel like something is actually wrong.
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depression
|
I have bacterial Vaginosis, and honestly it’s really bad. I was recently thinking prescribed metronidazole, it didn’t work. Now I’m on Clindamycin, also, is it normal to have brown like discharge afterwards? I don’t know because I did it while I was on my period. I haven’t ate in 8 days to starve the bacteria in my body. At work, everyday is Hell. Everyone talks about me because I smell really bad, and I have to constantly move my legs, and I’m around chlorine’s water which isn’t helping my case at all. I’ve been thinking about suicide for a while, I just can’t with this anymore. I’ve been trying to study for the military and get away so that I can gain intelligence and not work these laborious jobs that hard on me causing me to smell so horribly.
But right now I’m so hungry. I was thinking to eat a little dessert, Ice cream and cake. Honestly I’ve been going through a lot and all I can think about is to eat. What do you all think? All suggestions and opinions on welcome here. I would love what you all have to think about this… Thank you.
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depression
|
Plz know this is very triggering for me and hard to write if ur sensitive to topic like suicide and pedophelia ocd turn away this will make u ruminate more
Im having a memory for my POCD when i was at camp i took care of this young girl i think she was older then 10 (i hope i don’t remember) i cant remember which exact year but i was less then 16 probably 15-14 can’t remember well and apparently i liked her?
And masturbated to her like wtf why would i even do that? And she was extremely attached to me but idk if my feelings were like a big brother or i was as silly as it sounds “liked her” she was a very pretty kid but its so confusing at one part a memory is telling me i almost made her touch my, yeah i cant continue saying this i have pride, BUT WHY why would i do that? i would never want to do this to a kid!
I don’t remember her age but this memory triggered when i realized there was a pornstar that had the same face as her, what is wrong with me, then yesterday i proceeded to have feelings that i am a pedo unwanted attraction, and i felt so disgusted all this time ive been fighting this nightmare and now WHAT AM I ?!!!! IF TRUE HOW CAN I FUCKING LIVE WITH THIS SHIT?!!!!!! I CANT FORGIVE MYSELF
If im a pedo phile i really want to commit suicide there’s no other option
Edit: i cant afford to be a pedophile i really cant, how ill i want to have kids if i do become one and god forbid start to have urges how will i live?!!!
I want to be free and not have to worry about being sexual around kids or get intrusive thoughts telling me things i Dont want to hear sometimes they even come across as real thoughts idk what to do someone end me
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OCD
|
Curious to see if anyone had a similar experience.
I have complex childhood trauma and was recommended trying weed to help extinguish traumatic memories. I tried a baby dose and it kind of made me trip and also instantly triggered intrusive thoughts and feelings and some or my fixation on letters of the alphabet.
It’s discouraging because I’m a very poor metabolized and have failed a lot of medication since it will knock me out and I have a toddler to take care of. I also have a friend who has more typical OCD (mine tends to be pure O) and she swears by weed as helping her more than anything else.
Is anyone in this boat too?
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OCD
|
I do this 24/7 unfortunately.. like for example blinking, how many second I breathe out and in how many times I touch something, drink something, click on something, read something etc. I usually have a lucky number of 3 but add 1 just in case then add 7 bc it's my safe number too so equals 11 then add 4 original safe number with 3 as original but added 1 more. Like WHYYYY what is this OCD. What is this. Farggin OCD...
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OCD
|
((TW: CSA))
So my memory is mostly gone - 2015 to 2020 don’t exist for me. I’ve just about convinced myself that the exes that abused me don’t exist either and that they only exist in nightmares, but one of them (the one in nightmares and flashbacks, who I know sexually abused me for years) will be graduating with me this Thursday.
Since the for past year and a half school has been remote, I haven’t seen this guy in years, which has made it really easy to convince myself he isn’t real. I’ve stopped having flashbacks and only have nightmares of him occasionally, but my memory has never been this blocked. I’m honestly terrified of him. I’m afraid my reality might just shatter if I find out he’s real.
Any advice? Some way to calm myself down or keep myself grounded? Even just some similar experiences would help.
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ptsd
|
Hi, im wondering how many out there can relate to having asperger’s and having gone through addiction and recovery before even knowing i had asperger’s and being diagnosed (at 27). Im 39 now, and after 12 years sober from opiates and a failed engagement, i relapsed and then went to rehab again. Coming back from rehab and starting all over with no house, no car, no friends, former girlfriend already engaged, and everyone once thought a friend ghosting me.
Im doing better now as far as working and living independently and sober but everytime i try to reach out to an old friend who I thought was supportive, i get completely ghosted and ignored. Its just so hard to understand how so many people i have done no harm to are suddenly not even remotely interested in hearing from me
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aspergers
|
I struggle with suicidal ideation, I have a therapist I see weekly but sometimes it just strikes and is seemingly impossible to get friends or family who can just be there and listen. I don't expect them to have answers but not acknowledging the issue just keeps compounding it further. Sometimes just checking in on someone with something as seemingly inconsequential as asking how they're doing is more than enough to interrupt intrusive thoughts. What if passive ideations become active, would they acknowledge points at which they could've intervened with a quick text? If you have friends who are struggling even though outwardly they appear to have things under control.
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depression
|
Trigger Warning - talks of the big C plus doctors. Please be respectful and do not comment anything catastrophic as it’s not helpful and will further freak me out.
*I am on a mood stabilizer and on a wait list for a new therapist - I just had a full blood work up last week, and in August I had a full work up including chest CT, head CT, chest X-ray, EKG, ECG, and full blood work up then as well. All came back normal.
I just had a Pap with a breast exam in September and all came back normal. My Mother does not carry the BRCA gene but my grandmother had BC.*
Hi, nervous to post but I have OCD and health anxiety and panic.
I feel a bruise like sensation on my breast two days ago and I don’t see a bruise on my breast, there is no lump, no nipple inverted or discharge from the nipple, no rash etc. Just this bruised feeling in one spot and the rest of my breast feels weird. I don’t remember hurting my breast in any way either to cause a bruise.
I just finished my cycle a few days ago and the tenderness went away from that - and then this bruise feeling came up.
I have a GYN appointment tomorrow to talk with my GYB about it but how do I STOP ruminating about this until tomorrow??
Anyone else go through this, or can offer some ideas to stop ruminating? All the typical ones that work for me are not getting my mind off of it.
My thoughts are really mean to me right now. 😞😞
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OCD
|
She said that my brain is bored and desperately trying to find ways to keep itself busy and thats the main reason i can't move on from ocd.
she's probably right about that tbh, but its hard to make friends.
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OCD
|
I've had a portion of a work project I've been procrastinating and avoiding as much as possible, even with the meds it was hard to sit down and do it.
Then the project was due the next day...and somehow I managed to do 1 month worth of work in 12 hours. Like what the hell? (And no I didn't take any additional meds other than my usual).
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ADHD
|
i find myself thinking about this a bit. i don't know if i would really want to think about things the way "normal" people do. i feel like i would be happier but it would be naïveté. what do you all think?
|
aspergers
|
feel so empty and done with everything, I feel like I would be better off not being here anymore. I want to stop feeling like this forever
|
depression
|
As I mentioned in my previous post (and I'm sure you are already aware), people with ADHD have an issue with time. Me especially.
When I was attempting to be productive if I wasted any time I would become depressed and discouraged easily. How can I possibly get any of this done? I've wasted the very little energy I do have pacing around my room rambling about random things as soon as I think about them.
Being medicated has taught me how to just "get over it." Got distracted by my phone for 5 minutes? So what? Just focus. Played The Witcher for 4 hours straight without realizing,? No big deal, time to work. I get more done now in 10 minutes than I used to in one hour because I can just focus on whatever it is I need to do. Even if it's writing a Reddit post while I should be building a website for my client. 🤣
**I'm still not perfect. I'll be too lazy to floss, I'll leave my laundry in the corner of my room, I won't make my bed etc. The difference is that:**
1. **I recognize it.**
2. **I don't get stuck on it.**
3. **I work at it every single day.**
**I hope this helps you.**
|
ADHD
|
Hi guys, I have been feeling really depressed and hopeless because of my false memory OCD, which makes me doubt if I have harmed someone 11 years ago. It has come to a point where I'm believing I am in denial of the crime that I've committed, or perhaps I have dissociated and forgot/suppressed the memory about the crime that had taken place. Ive decided to go to the police to confess, although I am really not sure what to expect. But I'd rather they investigate and arrest me than to live with this guilt forever. But then I have this worry that I might be manipulating the people around me to believe that I only have OCD and not something insidious that I have committed.
What should I do, guys? Are such obsessions normal? It is so scary that the obsession hardly budged at all. I wish I can just change themes. I think I can never recover from OCD. It's just too hard - I sincerely believe I have the scariest/worst OCD content. Just kill me because I'd rather die than to put up with this false memory for the rest of my life! Why can't I just accept the uncertainty and simply move on? My entire potential is wasted on this fucking repetitive thought accusing me of having done something wrong.
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OCD
|
I'm having a lot of sensory issues related to underwear/socks right now and not being able to get them to feel "just right" and it's driving me mad. I feel like I'm going to break down or have a tantrum because of it. I don't know how to deal with this. Should I just sit through the anxiety of wearing them as an exposure? The issue is I am flooded with school work and tests coming up and I can't study or focus because of this! I recently quit nicotine and it has gotten a million times worse since then. Any advice?
|
OCD
|
Idk, I just want to be disappeared. I've been trying to live positive and without thinking of suicidal, but everyday I step closer to the place called "death". I'm willingly do it at this point, I'm tired, I don't want to be yelled at because I can't satisfy their demandings. I can't get treatment, because no one cares about me.
I guess it's the way it is, I'm done living like this, I hate myself. I become hating everyone around me. I'm pathetic.
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depression
|
I went to my therapist with my mom and we all had a big heart to heart about whether or not I should start taking medication. Afterwards, I scheduled an appointment in about 2 weeks with a psychiatrist to get some medication recommended to me. Trouble is, I can no longer really remember/feel why it is I decided to try medication in the first place. The second I decided all of my usual obsessions seemed silly.
Here's the thing: I'm still anxious. But all my obsessions have switched over to my health... not the usual real-event OCD stuff.
Point is, OCD is a bitch. I'm still going to take medication. Just because it's decided to go into hiding or change form doesn't mean it's no longer there.
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OCD
|
I have this really pretty tie dye phone case I got from Claire’s this year & it’s the most favorite phone case I have. I am really careful with it and unfortunately the design on the rubber case is starting to peel off. I haven’t had the case for very long and I don’t understand why the design is starting to peel off. It triggers my OCD and I wish the design would stay on without any flaws. I also don’t know when I can get a new phone with a better quality. The peeling makes the phone case look incomplete and messy. It’s starting to cause me anxiety because still so noticeable.
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OCD
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What do you use to help you get over magical thinking? I am so tired of it and have issues not believing in it.
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OCD
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I think I’ve come to a point where I don’t need my therapist on a weekly basis. I’m way better than I was before with a few episodes here and there but definitely not in the abyss I was in. Picking up new hobbies I used to express myself during my dark times, so I don’t see them in a negative manner or only think of negative things when I see or do those hobbies. Decided to get stuff done to myself, I’ve always wanted to do. It feels very refreshing to make these steps since I know it’s my way of self care. I want to feel good and I will put the effort to take care of myself in any way. I’m happy I’ve pulled myself out enough to be fine and happy I’m stable enough to helping my fellow friends who are still struggling. Good luck to you guys, it’s a tough battle
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depression
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My birth mother was never there for me growing up, even during the first five years of my life (when she had full custody). During that time she never took care of any of my basic needs, she was on the run from the fucking Marshals, and my learning disability is most definitely because of her. My dad (who I was closest to) passed away from cancer recently and all she does is put the blame on everyone else (mostly on my dad). My dad is the reason that I actually have basic life skills and I was able to graduate with a regents diploma (my birth mother would've been fine with me leaving high school with a special ed certificate). I honestly contemplate ending my life because of this bitch.
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depression
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No matter how simple or complex the task is, it's extremely difficult to get myself to do it. Problem is, if I don't, especially 2 days in a row, I am then talked down to for it from family members and I told how I don't do anything, how it's such a simple thing and they work so much harder than I do, so I should be able to do it easily, etc.
Obviously this can be a very damaging situation to be in when people outside of your own mind help confirm your own negative, destructive thoughts
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depression
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Hello there.. I kinda had some emotions earlier that made me want to try something new by sharing my feelings to the public. I'm not a good talker and not really sure where to start but I'll try my best. Sorry if I mention some weird things that should've been kept to myself.
Not sure if it matters but I'm a 23 year old male. I have many issues in life, some smaller than others but still issues. Some days I feel like I'm absolute trash that doesn't deserve to live and other days I feel totally empty inside. I have a good idea of what would make my life finally feel good but I can't reach it. My dream is to fall in love, marry an amazing woman, have kids and live a normal life with my family. I'm nowhere near achieving this and I don't know how to fix this.
I'm a highschool dropout. The two main reasons on why that is because I have extreme social anxiety and I have always had trouble learning things. I've never been tested for learning disabilities as far as I know but I wouldn't be surprised if I had some. This is making it really difficult to find a job. Money doesn't buy you happiness straight up but it's necessary. I live with my mom and I'm thankful for not being kicked out on the streets but I'm so sick of mooching off her. I know I'm still young but 23 is an adult age yet I feel like a child still. I feel uneducated about most things in life including adult responsibilities. I just want to feel like a normal human and I'm sick of it.
I tried medicine for my social anxiety before and nothing ever had any effect on me so I gave it up. One day though I swallowed a whole bottle of Xanax and that day I attempted suicide in 2018 by jumping off a bridge. I thought about suicide the day before I took them so idk if it had any effect on what I thought. I didn't do research on it but I guess it wasn't high enough to kill me idk. I fractured lots of parts like my wrists, pelvis, leg and spine even. I was court ordered to have therapy after but it didn't do anything for me and I knew it wouldn't either as talking doesn't help me. I now have a 20k unpaid hospital bill due to my mistakes. Luckily I healed up okay over the years and my main issue now is my bad back. It hurts to bend over for too long or even stand for too long. Maybe if I was more active then I could make it feel better over time but I have no time to focus on that and it's harder for me. I started over eating after leaving the hospital for a couple years. I'm not in the worst situation but I now weigh 180 at 5'6. I always had issues with my looks before but now I want to puke when seeing myself in the mirror. All my weight has gone into my face and belly.
I have issues with my diet because I have terrible taste buds. I cannot eat fish, vegetables, most fruits and much more without gagging, almost vomiting or actually vomiting. I used to at least give some things a try when I was a little younger even if it was still hard but now I just simply look at something and my brain tells me "don't eat it". I'm incredibly picky with the stuff I do like too like I can eat chef boyardee spaghetti but home made or restaurant is disgusting. I like chicken from restaurants but I hate grocery store chicken. I only eat white meat and it has to be boneless. I could go on but it's easier to say that my diet is just Mac and cheese and pizza. I think I've given up on trying to eat healthy and it would be fine by me if I could lose the weight in another way but I just can't right now. I've tried fasting before and it works but only if I workout with it. I haven't worked out since my surgeries and I can't really try either because I have issues with my feet right now and my back hurts really bad.
I have really bad ingrown toenails right now that I can't really take care of because I have no insurance anymore and I really don't want another huge hospital bill. They affect my life pretty significantly. I haven't left my house in 3 years because I can't even wear shoes without them bleeding. I also self diagnosed myself with Trichotillomania as I pull my hair out constantly every day all day. I also have lots of mini mental issues like I have a big fear of all bugs and even loud noises. I can't even take a crap in peace if anyone is near by and I need a fan or faucet running to drown out the noise. I have issues thinking of proper words to say during conversation and I'm even very forgetful about lots of things in my life. I applied for Medicare and was denied and even tried to apply for disability close after leaving the hospital. Could barely make it through the, I guess mental/social test because of my social anxiety. My voice was so shakey and I couldn't look the man in the eyes and I was about to burst into tears just talking with him about normal things. The physical test made me test my blood pressure and as usual it was through the roof they even made sure it was right by testing it multiple times and using other equipment and had others test it to. After that it was literally 2 minutes before they said I was good to go. I was asked to stretch and bend over and here I am sounding like an old man and I was in pain yet they thought I was fine. They based it off of 2 minutes. I felt so upset because it took so much courage for me to leave my house and go through that type of thing.
I know this is disgusting but I had my first shower in about a year a couple days ago. I can't seem to even find motivation to hop in the shower anymore because I just don't care and I also don't want to go through the pain of bending over and trying to clean hard to reach places on my body. My toes always end up worse than they looked before after a shower too. Luckily I had a LDR relationship for 2 years so they couldn't smell me but she recently broke up with me. Not surprising with the life I live but that almost destroyed me and I thought about killing myself but got lucky by quickly finding someone else that understood my garbage life. Im currently dating another girl that's across country but I know it's just going to end the same way because it's a group effort to save money to end up together in the end. I make no money so how can I even think about dating when it just won't work. Romance is the only part of my life that makes me happy but I can't keep it.
I had a small burst of motivation that lasted I dunno maybe 2 hours to take a practice GED test. Forgot and failed every thing even basic math. Tried to read the explanations on the answers and it just hurt my head so badly that I had to stop. I can't seem to learn things like that as it just goes through one ear and out the other. I never studied before as a kid either because it just never did anything for me. I'm afraid I'll never find work without my GED though so idk what to do.
I really have no idea what my point is here besides just sharing every shitty detail of my life but what I know is that I just want to feel like a normal person. All I do every day is watch TV and sometimes play video games. I have no other hobbies or things that interest me. I feel like the worst person on earth sometimes and I really don't know why I continue to live. I have the motivation to want to work and make lots of money to slowly fix parts of my life like having my own place, car, buying what I want and need. It would also help my dream of being together with my loved one and I could even finally buy presents for everyone near Christmas time. The issue is I can't even do that because of all my other issues getting in the way. I have no idea what I should do to start fixing my huge mess of a life. I really have feelings for my girlfriend but she's been hinting that if I can't find work soon then we'll probably not be together long. She has a beautiful heart and accepted everything else I shared with her and I don't blame her for thinking that. I've been thinking that if I lose her then I'll probably just kill myself because I'm tired of my shitty life. What do I do? is there someone out there that can help me? I really don't think there is.
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depression
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Hi everyone.
I’m a little confused with myself here. I don’t know who really to turn to and ask so I’m here. I was wondering how you all found out you had PTSD? I am also wondering if I’m suffering from a form of it? Maybe less severe? I feel as if my problem is so little that it shouldn’t cause me to feel this way.
A bit of backstory:
This morning I woke up and looked over my shoulder to my fiancé, usually he wakes up about an hour or so before me and plays on his phone until I wake up. He does this because he knows the feeling of him beside me helps me stay asleep and if he gets up I wake up.
I look over and immediately see that he switches his apps from Twitter to Facebook and looks over to me all happily. It immediately sets of red signals to me and I feel myself beginning to tremble a bit. Why? I’ll explain.
We’ve been together since 2012, and in 2015 I was having a lot of issues with my family life. My mom was sick, dad was cheating on my mom and had a baby, crazy stuff. To get away that summer my (now) fiancé and I worked a summer job at a water park as lifeguards. It was fun. Each morning he would come over and we would go to work. Teen love. Yay!
But with everything going on in my life things weren’t really the same with our relationship. And as a result he began emotionally cheating on me. With who? A girl who he met through one of his friends. It started off innocent but then turned into much more.
One night I was over his house and asked
“If you weren’t dating me who would you date?”
And he said her name. He began being incredibly stingy with his phone, hiding, etc.
One morning before work I asked him for his phone and he said no. It began to be a small argument and he handed it over. And that’s when I found out. I was crushed. And I slapped him that morning. It felt like it was all my fault. And he even said he thought he loved her.
Fast forward a few years and we work on things in our relationship and we are now almost 8 years strong. I love him with all of my heart and I know he loves me. But this morning sent me into a panic?
I don’t know why but something began to worry me. And I felt as if I were trembling. I asked to see his phone after noticing that he switched between apps. And he replied no a few times before handing it over. First I took a few selfies and then shakily moved between apps to see. He was on another girls twitter, a cosplayer, and was looking at her photos. Innocent compared to what I do because I have an entire Twitter that’s basically a little P*rnh*b!
But it bothered me. It sent me into this mental state where I felt as if I had just shut down. I was trembling and my body felt as if I couldn’t breathe. And I turned away and tried to go back to sleep. He wanted to talk to me but I kind of ignored him for a bit. But my mind couldn’t focus on sleep. Memories from that year at the water park just kept bursting through my mind. His apologies, my tears, her apologies, their messages. Everything. I couldn’t get away from it.
So I wanted to take a shower but guess who just destroyed the bathroom? Him. Funny I know lol. So I went to the kitchen and sat down and got a yogurt and ate in silence, trying to get my thoughts together. But all I could do was cry and shake. I came back into our bedroom and he wanted me to tell him about what I was feeling and he talked to me about it. Telling me he would never hurt me that way again and that he had nothing to hide. I believed him but I was still shook. I couldn’t shake anything from my mind. I felt and still feel a little blank.
I can’t look at photos from that year without feeling angry, I can’t listen to certain songs without it triggering a “upset” feeling. And the phone thing? I’m always scared to look at his phone but I force myself to even though I know good and well nothing is happening. The feeling just looms over me so strongly.
I guess I just want to know what I should do if this happens again? What exactly am I feeling? Was it a panic attack? Can cheating even cause PTSD?
Thank you,
su.
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ptsd
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I obsess over my wardrobe. Mostly over what I wear to bed. The pajamas I wear along with my underwear have to color-match to a certain extent. I obsess over color-matching according to the day of the week and what month it is, so I would associate certain colors with the days of the week and months. So for example, I would focus on wearing green all month long in March, but I don’t associate green as a color for a Wednesday. It takes me so much longer than it needs to just to throw on some clothes and go to bed or just running out to the store. I have no idea where it came from. I used to obsess over wearing the same outfit more than twice or wearing the color blue (someone told me it wasn’t my color and I became stuck on it for a long time and refused to wear the color). However, I’ve worked on it and it’s getting better. I allow myself to wear other colors that I wouldn’t normally associate with whatever month or day of the week we’re in for my sake of sanity, time, and energy and I remind myself that nobody at the store will recognize what I wore the last time I went in and wearing the same outfit more than twice now has also helped with shopping addictions.
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OCD
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I know it’s all my fault that I’m broke before everyone starts being mean towards me for not having a college degree. But I just wanted to vent real quick about my financial situation. I have been working ever since I was 15 years old because I always had to find a way to make money to take care of myself from a very young age (23 now) so I didn’t really have the luxury to be able to go to college right after high school without being homeless and having absolutely no money so after one year of college I decided to drop out because I knew I couldn’t afford it at all. But anyway I’ve been working full time jobs ever since I was 18, worked as a waitress, did Uber, worked at a warehouse, worked for a rental car company, currently work at a grocery store. And honestly I’m tired of constantly working so hard and still being this broke, after my rent and food and phone bill I can’t afford to get a car and tbh after all those bills are paid I only make $300 every two weeks. It just makes me feel so hopeless and I really wish I had the time to just enjoy my day and live a normal life for once.. instead of working 5 days a week from 2:30 to 11pm 5 days straight and never getting to actually enjoy my life.
I’m tired of it. I want to open up my own business as a nail tech so I can be an independent business owner who sets my own hours but everything cost money and time. Which I don’t have. I’m just hopeless as fuck. Thanks for hearing me out you guys I appreciate it.
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depression
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I seem to have a greater control of impulse after an all nighter or staying up until I feel the dulling of my mental faculties. Yes, there is a loss in brain function where time seems to go by pretty fast and thinking is slow, but impulse control seem to be great. I feel like I have much better control over what I want to do and how long to do it. At a certain point, things I feel like I was overwhelmed to do I can knock out right after another and NOT because I'm desperate to sleep. I was taking Adderall XR hoping to get this kind of control but it's not working. I wish to find this kind of control normally. Has anyone experienced this kind of feeling and can replicate it (whether through whatever it is you're taking or some other method) without staying up like this?
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ADHD
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I tell him I’m trying to get ready to leave to do something but I forgot but there’s so much to do. And he was like “ok, what do you need before you can go?” And a lightbulb went off and I got really excited and said “Ahhh of course!laundry soap….yes! Obviously! That’s what I was pacing-around-waiting-to-remember-for!”
Now I feel like I need to share that quintessentially ADHD statement I made earlier here which is also very typical of One of Us One of Us One of Us
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ADHD
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Ill be really obsessing over something and ill see something that correlates with it, and get anxious thinking it might be a sign that its true or something.
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OCD
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So as I said in the title I need some help. I like learning, so this is a new problem for me, like I’ve always had trouble doing my homework and waking up in the morning, but I’ve never hated a school this much. It’s not a bad school or anything, it’s just my education needs are higher that what it offers. I’m staying here because they offer a program we’re you can take college classes while in high school, but I need to finish my sophomore year with good grades to get in (and probably good attendance which I’m not doing too well on). I’m working with a psychiatrist to get me meds in order, and so my meds are working better than they were, but I’m still having lots of trouble in the morning and doing my homework. Any suggestions?
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ADHD
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I've been looking into the effects that exercise can have on the ADHD brain, and I would really love to be more active! The issue is, I feel like I just can't do it. I've tried a few different times to exercise two to three times a week outside of my day to day activity and I can usually do it for a week or two, but then I drop off and stop for months.
Does anybody have any advice for staying active and working with your ADHD?
I know a lot of people use body doubling, but that doesn't work for me. I also don't have a ton of money to pay for programs, gym memberships, or equipment. I do have a yoga mat and two sets of really light weights, though.
I've been considering something like Just Dance 2021, however I'm worried that I'll play it once or twice and then never again and it would just be something else that I've wasted my money on.
There's a small gym in my building that I can use, but I have agoraphobia and anxiety so it's really difficult to get myself down there because "What if somebody else is there? What if somebody else comes while I'm there??"
I love going for walks, but since I live in Canada there's snow here for nearly half the year and our sidewalks are so hard to walk on during the winter.
TLDR; Any exercise advice for somebody who wants to exercise, but is having a really hard time due to their ADHD?
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ADHD
|
I have severe contamination OCD that manifested after a near fatal car wreck, along with a new layer of PTSD ontop of CPTSD. I'm in an abusive environment where my family stigmatizes my disorder and emotionally abuses me because of the manifestations of it. Lots of swear words, calling me handicapped, useless, nothing but a burden, more worthless than I was when I was a baby, acting like I do my triggers to purposely harass them. (I promise if I wanted to be annoying I'd think of a better way than washing my hands or cleaning for hours)
My therapist(s) I have seen over time all ascribe to basically...'eliminating reassurance, taking things away'. They never seem to concern themselves with the content of the thought. At all. They generally tell me it's okay because they say so, like my family. I try to ask them if something is okay once or twice, not for so much as (REASSURANCE) but a baseline to sort of...go with, that never comes out properly. "God made your nose so it's okay", "You haven't died in 30 years from your nose so you aren't going to now".
I'm stuck. Fifteen years ago I was in a near fatal car accident and developed OCD related to contamination because my mind couldn't take the strain of being told I was colonized for the media's exaggerated MRSA bogeyman. I was comatose. I could not let others be infected, or let my caution lapse as doctors had in allowing me to be infected with it.
After 3 years, I was able to have a period where I no longer cared (Odd) and then my symptoms abated for almost 2 years until a fever blister initiated a new fear of germs that's more generalized.
Life was hell, had its ups and downs.
​
A month ago I went to a treatment center for OCD and when I realized for a moment how irrational OCD thoughts were I decided to face my initial fear that (to my knowledge) instigated the whole thing, and it opened up a nightmare I do not know how to close back.
​
I got a test for MRSA and came back negative so I felt so much better, but I developed a general fear of my nose **because I avoided doing anything with it for so long**. I can't get over it. I'm so afraid that by my logic noses are supposed to be dirty. You touch them, you wash your hands, they're containers for bacteria.
​
I fear hair getting into my nose and then being expelled to contaminate the environment, from my dogs. If I trim my nose, and a nose hair falls out I'm terrified it harbors some risky or communicable infection and so I must meticulously clorox the floor and anywhere on my body it may have touched. If my pillow touches my nose in my sleep I freak and change everything. If I touch my nose in the shower I am scared I'm spreading it. If my nose runs I'm afraid if it gets too far my mouth, or upper lip will be....another vector of contagion. If I shave, and touch my lip, I'm scared that I need to wash the taps because what if I touched it with a dirtied part of my hand from my lip? I take QTips and meticulously wipe it clean of any dander or dried mucus, then if I feel any air on my skin I imagine....well I guess you get it.
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Even simply wiping my nose in my mind equates to me spreading it by touching it with the tissue, what if I slip or do it wrong?
​
This is basically concurrent with the other theme of generalized germs, and almost BARRICADES me from making progress against anything else because it's so everpresent. Internally I know something is awry in my thinking, but I can't think of what to ask to allay my mind.
​
My therapists don't seem to try to help me modify the internal thought, but I need that because I don't have a solid basis of insight to be rational about my fear. This comes into the reassurance thing. I want a medical doctor or someone with some expertise and knowledge to give me at least enough safety to allow me to move forward.
​
I want to ask a doctor...I want to ask them what to ask, you know? At least with my pillow. If I can't even lay my head down to sleep in peace how do I function? I already have hypervigilance eating me alive.
​
Does anyone have ANY idea what I could do to try to get unstuck from this impasse so I could utilize the ERP effectively (at all?) against the other OCD? I feel like sometimes SOME reassurance is necessary, especially when the situation is as dire as this, to get unstuck, the whole lose the battle to win the war? I get the premise, and have enough meta awareness to know that it causes a feedback loop that strengthens it, but it's already so strong that all I can really do against it is confront the thought behind it and hope through that or some imaginal magic I can wiggle it loose.
I try to feel safety in my family but honestly, they don't get OCD and they especially don't get PTSD. My mom uses a fan that sounds like the car wreck engine against me when she gets frustrated or angry at me because of the OCD. She screams and makes fun of me and then when I react in an emotional way whether it be yelling back or not being able to calm down, she calls the police and tells them it was only me (I suppose in an attempt to establish a record) and it's so twisted.
Could someone please perhaps offer me a little insight or suggestions on how I would go about finding any freedom from this...stuck point, at least?
Thanks in advance.
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OCD
|
Does anyone know why nicotine helps sooo much with ADHD symptoms? I'll hit my vape and instantly my head is clear, I have no bodily feelings of anxiety, fully immersed in the moment, and I have intense focus. The downside is it's very short lived and the more I use nicotine the less I get the positives from it. Anyone know the specifics behind it? Thanks
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ADHD
|
Hello, I’m 17f. I am diagnosed with OCD and ADHD.
I was at getting groceries. My pocd was lower and I was kinda happier about it, as in I was thinking about how I felt more calm right before this happened.
I was standing in line then I got a feeling to move my butt (as in straighten my posture and tense my butt , idk why). I was slouching and i wanted to take up less space. my posture was kinda fucked & then i have a fear that there was another part telling me to do it so that my a$$ could look good. i have an issue with hypersexualizing myself.
I noticed a teenage looking girl behind me. At least I thought she was a teenager and she was also shopping alone like me, I guess that made me feel more comfortable and less anxious. I was NOT attracted to her.
When I tensed my butt, immediately after I got this fear that I sexually exposed myself and that I was being a predator and trying to do something bad. Actually the reason why i first did it was to fix my posture i think but i’m scared, what if I had sexual intentions? The second after I did it I got this wave of anxiety saying that i’m being sexual in the presence of kids and that tensing my butt to both fix my posture and to look better means i’m a predator.
I’m scared because what if that means I’m a P_do, I was wearing long jeans.
I either wanted to show off HOWEVER I genuinely can’t remember due to the fact right after I felt really sick and uncomfortable and with the thought “did I expose myself indecently, did I do something to seduce someone, am I a sexual deviant and what if that girl behind me is much younger”.
I wasn’t sexually attracted to that girl behind me either, I thought she was pretty (tbh i’m saying that to be nice and polite but she had nice hair i guess)
People say it’s your actions that make u a pedo, did I act in a bad way. I’m scared and no I did not feel anything good or sexual after doing it it made me feel like a predator. I’m scared there’s a possibility that maybe I did it to show off or because I felt comfortable. but actually I felt weird after, although I don’t know. I sound super stupid now but none of my thoughts feel coherent at all right now. I’m stressed out, I know realistically no one probably even saw that I straightened my posture nor did they see my butt move but I’m worried I had bad intentions.
Worry: I tried to reason with myself saying that “if u were a predator you would have felt gratification afterwards instead of feeling shame over something which frankly looked and seemed normal considering absolutely nobody would see it anyways”. And then I got the thought “well pedos and predators are defined by actions and intents so what if I had the intention to seduce the girl behind me” and then I wondered if I was trying to show off. But in the end what I’m scared of is that I did a bad action, and people here always say your actions make u bad. I’m scared,
Worry: with thoughts I can let them pass but now I am getting so much anxiety over this, why did I do it, and why did I feel the need to. I guess part of it could be because I have tendencies to want to always come off as perfect so maybe I was trying to make my posture and all look good. I don’t know, all I remember is my butt was sticking out and I straightened my posture and then I tended my butt and then I had a thought about how no one saw it and how I may have exposed myself and done something indecent and it made me embarrassed and feel afraid. Do I let this go? Now I am living with the fear that I had done something bad.
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OCD
|
It all started with finding a comic about ADHD in spring. I had been searching for why I had been struggling so much for so many years. I looked up many things, but there was always something that just didn't fit. I did a test to see if I could possibly have autism. I tried to think of folders like in a computer and stored an image. But I soon forgot I did that and later read more and understood I didn't have it. Depression just felt off since I didn't feel depressed every day.
In the comic ADHD alien showed what ADHD was like and it mentioned not everyone had hyperactivity. **I hadn't know that.** I was shocked that she was able to put into images and words what I had been feeling. I was never able to do that. **That started my search.** I looked up more and more. I started following many people with ADHD. I started noticing that my mom, cousin and grandma had the same symptoms. I related with most. Everything made sense. My whole childhood made sense. I started using tips to help and tried to re-structure my life.
But I had no idea how I could get diagnosed. I'm 19F so I freely told my mom. She put it off and didn't believe it for months, but then she agreed to help. I have phone anxiety so I needed help with calling them. We first had to find who diagnosed ADHD. It isn't well known in Latvia at all.
My mom called one - ''What?? Did your doctor tell you to do that?''. My mom called another - ''We don't diagnose adults''. The we tried talking to my family doctor - ''Well when I look at the site some symptoms match with me haha, but are you sure about that? You could get miss diagnosed.''
My mom found one psychologist an hour away. She was very nice and explained how the process worked. I had to go through the test and then I could go to a psychiatrist and get medication. So I waited for a month and couldn't stop thinking about it. Then I had the appointment and it was a disaster. I was very shy around her since she's a stranger, but I tried to answer her questions. But so many questions made me confused. Or I didn't hear some and had to ask her to repeat. Not to mention It was boring answering the same questions for an hour (They just where structured the same). I got nervous and for the last one I didn't ask her to repeat.
She asked me what my fear was and I told her one. She then proceeded to ask me why I though that was related to ADHD. I didn't. I just answered her question. She at some point asked me why I wanted to get diagnosed and I said ''well...for myself.'' She asked me again and it made me so nervous and confused, I though I answered the question? She then said she didn't know if I had ADHD.
My mom went next and the doctor said she didn't think I had ADHD. I was confused on why she didn't ask me questions relating to that. Some where and I did answer that I had attention issues, but I just don't understand why there was nothing. I will probably try to find another pyschologist, because I doubt I wanna go back after bawling my eyes out and not being able to say anything else. (It was to the question ''Why do you think you have ADHD?''. I just didn't get if it was meant in a good or bad way.)
I'm just so tired from all of this process. I hope the next one will ask me more in depth questions. I doubt I'd be able to survive 300 boring questions again. Should I prepare something like a list or drawings so I can show what I'm feeling better? Can I just talk about anything or do I just have to answer their questions?
**TL;DR - I went to my first ADHD diagnosis and the psychologist didn't see anything relating to ADHD.**
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ADHD
|
I have been going to therapy for a month now and today she told me that I don't have ADHD . when it comes to things in which i have a true passion i am fine . I certainly have a problem focusing but that has nothing to do with ADHD as much some other issues that I have (not going to get into detail) . So i guess i have a true chance at getting into med school after all
P.S. this is most likely the last time i upload on this subreddit
Edit : she's a psychiatrist . English isnt my first language and i thought there was no big difference. Also i live in a country with the best medical schools in the world, and the education is free . So it is almost impossible to get in with ADHD
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ADHD
|
I think that’s my title anyway? I’m 32F. The more I see memes and posts and comments related to Adult ADHD, the more of me I see. The more I wonder if my brain is actually typical. The more I wonder what I could accomplish if I could just get the assistance I need. I don’t know where to start. I’ve looked up counselors and life coaches before. Usually after a mental health snap where I wonder what the heck is wrong with me?? But, naturally, I never follow through.
How does an adult, who has never in my life ever considered ADHD to be my issue, get started finding the professionals I need? I’ve been standing in my own way, putting things off, and jumping from one interest to another, losing focus and motivation after a day or a week even, for far too long. I do think I need to attack my issues from this angle now. Thanks for any advice!
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ADHD
|
I use to be energetic but over the years I can feel the sadness taking over. I don't have a lot of friends and the few activities I really enjoyed doing I either dont find interesting or can't get the motivation to do. I also haven't had a relationship in years and its kinda hurt me that no ones been interested in me since I've been a pretty good athlete. Life just seems to be getting worse and I'm only 19
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depression
|
I just started taking Adderall(feels like a godsend) and I was looking into keeping a journal so I can track my mood and other things. I just started using Bearable. I like I can the option to track my mood throughout the day, track when I took meds, sleep, and symptoms. I’m just wondering what other apps people use.
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ADHD
|
Hello all, I'm gonna just cut into it, but I need some advice or guidance/wisdom on this topic. But I'm suffering thru depression. This year has been probably my toughest as an adult (I'm 24). In no specific order but this year alone I have had a breakup, medical diagnosis, loss of friends, breakdowns, and that's just to name a few. Growing up, despite enduring many traumatic moments, mental health wasn't something that was ever talked about and therapy wasn't even an option. So I thought I was invincible to depression and that it wasn't real but I was brutally wrong. Ever since my girlfriend broke up with me it's been super rough for me and it was a catalyst and activated my other traumas and now I have this dark cloud over me that's super hard to shake. My desire isn't pity or to feel bad, but how do I heal, move forward, and step back into the light and thrive again? Responses are greatly appreciated ✌🏿
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depression
|
I'm practicing erp but I don't know how long my erp session should be and habituation. Should it be an hour, two, three? I'm listening to a recording over and over again of things that give me anxiety
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OCD
|
Recently, I got pretty low, moral wise, mostly because I felt like all the things that I don't or didn't do was because I am a failure. But my psychiatrist told me that it is because I have ADHD and that I should accept it, doing so, I should start doing stuff while considering my ADHD.
And so I should start on planning things, having a schedule, again... I tried that already and it didn't work.
Why, I asked myself? Because I've done it on paper, because I would easily lost the said paper, or my Agenda was misplaced, I tried with the calendar on my phone, but they are too much steps on setting up a task, a meeting...
So I started to look up for a tool that would allow me to see all the tasks I'll set up, that would allow to set due dates, priorities, satisfaction rates, write commentaries.
And I discovered that there are apps permitting such actions, project management apps. Like Trello.
So I've tested some, and stopped on ClickUp.
This one seems very interesting. i can do a lot of things, pretty easily, maybe too much, I can see what I want to do in different views, calendar, boards, lists. I can set up templates for my tasks, I can create a task that I can breakdown in many other subtasks. I can do so many things based on my needs.
And since two weeks, I've started to do things again, to finish things. Because, when I'm wandering, I can see what I need to do, I can see that I can do that task, and that I can start by that little subtask, or I can do that task that is due in 3 days.
For me that tool seems really interesting, interesting enough that my therapist wants me to explain to her.
So maybe some of you can find it interesting too!
Clickup
TL;DR I've discovered ClickUp, and it's been an improvement in my daily life, as it helps me to organise myself easily, and visually. And my psychiatrist seems to be very interested.
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ADHD
|
I was diagnosed a little under a year ago with bipolar 1 disorder, and it's something I've been struggling with for a while, to the point where my day is mostly composed entirely of manic or depressive episodes, with no middle ground in between. The only thing that seems to help the immediate symptoms for me is heavy marijuana usage, which in itself is beginning to take it's toll.
I don't know what the hell happened, or where the years went. One night I went to bed a content, careless teen, and woke up a depressed mess of a 20 yr old constantly thinking about slashing my arms open.
I don't want to die. I really don't. But every day it seems like a more and more viable option. I was in this place before and I had found a way out. I don't know if I will this time, but I'll try.
|
depression
|
Hi, new here.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was 19/20 years old and have been on anti psychotics (for depression)/anti depressants since.
I have a history of suicidal behaviour and attempts. In my early twenties, I’ve been in and out of the psych ward countless times and have had two major attempts on my life. For maybe a year I spent most of my time in bed, fantasizing about death and well, being depressed.
I’ve since made strides to change my life. I left school, started a creative freelancing job, and moved out of my parents. I lived with my ex for nearly two years before moving to another city the beginning of this year on my own.
I have struggled with bulimia and anorexia since I was 8 and have not gotten proper help to address it.
I used to be very thin. It’s not entirely abnormal for my height and people just always thought as I got thinner, I was losing “baby” weight.
I have since gained more than 50 lbs since the death of my grandmother and with the new move. Given my anorexia from before, I wouldn’t consider myself overweight but maybe a little chubby for lack of better words. I am about 5’1 and a size 6/8 whereas I used to be a size 00.
Moving to a new city ended up being too much for me and I fell into a suicidal and depressive haze that really scared me. I decided it would be best for me to move back home with my parent.
I wasnt working much before my move home and essentially my parents had to bail me out. I’m living with them now and feel awful. Of course I intend to pay them back every cent but I still feel like such a burden and failure.
My parents have made a lot of comments about my weight and have encouraged me to get back to my past size. They’ve even made comments about how much prettier I used to be.
I feel traumatized by heavy exercise because the thought of it just brings me back to a dark place where I would work out 2-3 times a day and live off nothing but black coffee and cigarettes. I’m not inactive, I go on walks and occasionally hop on the bike.
I just feel so much pressure from them to lose weight and they say it’ll help with my depression but I feel that they don’t understand what I’m going through.
I’ve tried to explain it but ive
been called lazy and that I’m making up excuses to not want to be healthier.
I know I’m suicidal right now but have been doing a much better job of controlling it/faking being ok for the sake of my friends and family.
I hurt a lot of people with my attempts before. I can’t help but feel like if i tried this time, I would get it right. I just feel lost.
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depression
|
Our son is now 9 and maybe about three years ago we started putting one and one together. He "ticks almost all of the boxes" of any checklist. He's always been going very deep in one topic until the interest switches, normally between 1 year and few months. He loves to chat with adults, but struggles a little with other kids.
Until couple years ago, he used to be the happiest little fellow, waking up with a big smile and full of energy. But I've seen a big change, just recently and I'm wondering whether it would be time to have a third party assessment and whether to share also with him, why he might be having difficulties in some of the areas.
He's current obsession is Minecraft and he plays it, codes it and watches videos. Especially videos we've started limiting lately. But that's not all, both at home and during the recess he spends in thinking, sometimes hour at a time, and when I ask him about what, and he says it's only about Minecraft. He does also reads, quite advanced for his age (finished Lord of the Rings, read Harry Potters couple of times, history books etc.), but currently Minecraft is the number one passion.
He has some friends, but when I observe him with friends he tends to be little awkward and I need to remind him to respond when people greet him etc. He is very bad at sharing his feelings and internal dialogue, so we are left guessing at what might be bothering him.
On one hand, I think it would be very good to have the assessment and speak openly with him about all this. On the other hand, I wonder if being labelled "different" leads to having carte blanche from social situations and from developing his social skills.
I would highly value your input on:
1) Is the assessment at this point a good thing. How to introduce the topic to him, what it's about? How to find a therapist that would really know what they do?
2) What would be a suitable age to share with him?
3) How can we support him better?
4) He has a bigger sibling, who is five years older and has a very close relationship with the little man. If we don't share this issue with the little man yet at this point, should we still share it with the older sibling to have additional support from that direction? I realise this can also burden the older sibling, but I feel it is also unfair not to share.
Thank you so much in advance. And keep rocking, this is an awesome community with super members!
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aspergers
|
Hi!
So I've noticed in my time taking medications and documenting my migraines that a lot of medications that cause bleeding, be them SSRIs, blood thinners, or something like that, cause me to get serious migraines (or in the case of SSRIs, chronic migraines). I even recall my worst migraine ever being caused by ibuprofen. I think it has something to do with the volume of my blood vessels; if they're too big I'll start getting auras constantly and end up bedridden.
I didn't really want to sacrifice my physical health for my mental health, so I ended up quitting my meds and opting to focus on things like ACT (which worked for almost a year). However, I've had a pretty bad relapse lately due to an injury. (If it wasn't obvious, I am not very good at dealing with pain.)
I know most SSRIs and SNRIs have a very high risk for bleeding and I was wondering if anyone has had success with other classes of drugs that don't have a bleeding risk. Any response will be useful!
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OCD
|
I could not see it before I took a long break and came back to the same job but in another company.
I was interested in products and learning about them when I started few years ago, I wanted to help people with my knowledge.
I learned as much as it interested me. I don’t care to learn more on the subject. My new colleagues are enthusiastic about learning more, I couldn’t care less. The rota tasks my manager gives are painful to do as they bore me so much.
I hate that I can’t be myself but need to keep in customer service mode. I tried to make myself like ot again but it’s as if my brain just decided one day ‘boring! over it now.’
I want to get out of that industry, but I can’t think of anything else that interests me and I need an income.
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ADHD
|
I've always had a high sex drive and believed sex to be the most wonderful thing in the world up until I actually tried it a few times some years ago. Now I only want sex because it gives me a sense of validation of being good enough, however, I actually don't enjoy the act of doing it as much as I think I do before actually doing it.
And it's not that my sex partners are ugly, although I've been with both ugly and pretty people, however, I feel much more satisfied when jerking off myself than having sex. Then I don't need the act of communicating, talking, acting "normal" etc.
Yesterday I found a hot girl where I took a viagra and I fucked her like they do in porn; moaning, anal deepthroat etc., however, I just felt exhausted afterwards and no connection to that girl whatsoever.
I wonder if it's normal for people with Asperger's syndrome to feel like a sex is just exhausting and not so much a mutual pleasure and connection like people without AS do.
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aspergers
|
Having a really difficult night and if there’s anyone that be open to letting me vent a bit, it would really appreciated.
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depression
|
Because you feel guilty and unworthy of food, even.
How do you folks cope?
|
depression
|
Warning am very drunk so stuff may not make sense. But if I wasn't drunk I wouldn't post but it's all always true. Drunk or sober it's the truth it's just a matter of confidence.
I got some work stuff going on at the moment I may get fired and if I get fired benefits will very likely be affected and if that happens I will become homeless literally that ain't hyperberbly (I had to search that word for spelling, I like that word) I will have no where to live so I wanted reassurance from those closest to me, my siblings, that I'd have a place. A brother and sister who are very important to me, I wouldn't be here without them, the worse point in my adult life was when I fell out with my sister and my brother was living in another city for university. So anyway I wanted the actual words "you will not be on the streets because you have a place here." Even though I should know not to worry, my sister has helped me out like that before and they both been though something similar and have enough empathy. But still I needed that confirmation and I guess my desperation for that came across as aggressive, they didn't take it as aggressive (I think) but my sister did note that's how it came across.
Also the ringing in my ear that started like 6 weeks ago has stopped so I'm worried I'll become an alcoholic if it's the only thing that helps.
|
aspergers
|
Hi all! It’s my first post here after lurking for a long time and recently confessing all the reasons why I think I have OCD to my therapist. He was like, yeah, it sounds like you have OCD.
Okay, my question is about some advice he gave me. He does CBT, but he doesn’t specialize in OCD. So, he’s told me to identify the OCD thoughts (I’m pretty good at that part) and talk back to them, tell them they’re wrong, etc. While I’ve done affirmations before and they were helpful in reducing intrusive thoughts, my concern is that correcting or talking back against the intrusive thoughts could become a compulsion. Most of my compulsions are mental, and it seems like talking back is supposed to relieve the anxiety from the intrusive thought… isn’t that what a compulsion is, like in the OCD cycle?!
I know there’s so much research saying CBT is good for OCD, but I can’t stop thinking about this one thing that isn’t 100% clear to me! Someone tell me I’m wrong LOL, and thanks in advance :)
P.S. on mobile, sorry if the formatting is wonky
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OCD
|
Like, I’m pretty sure I have OCD but it’s relatively mild compared to everyone else here. Like yeah, I have compulsions and stuff, but I can control them pretty decently if I try and they don’t severely impact my life, at least not as much as when I was a young child. The intrusive thoughts and obsessive thinking are still pretty bad though and I have no control over them. Is this mild/moderate OCD normal or do I have something else?
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OCD
|
Start thinking of every word you can that starts with the letter A. Once you repeat a word, move on to words that start with B and so on.
I've struggled with insomnia for years now and tried so many different things With little or no result, thanks to [behavioral sleep skills](https://nocat.ch/guide-to-behavioral-sleep-skills) and needmoremango's trick, doctors hate him for this one, natural trick!
I started doing this 2 months ago and it just knocks me out by basically boring myself to sleep. Before, my thoughts would keep me awake and I could lay in bed for hours with my eyes closed, but still never actually falling asleep.
This doesn't force me into frustration by trying to "turn my brain off", it just gives me enough structure on what I can think about rather than thinking of things that keep me awake. Give it a try tonight!
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ADHD
|
Hi there, does anyone else have these thoughts all the time e.g) “do this or this bad thing will happen”
i have these about totally unrelated things, like “don’t eat that last bite of cake or (whatever i’m obesssing over) is true”
it’s so weird, am i crazy or do you guys have this too?
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OCD
|
So I’m having what I hope is false memory ocd, I have been experiencing this for some time and I know it’s false memory but at the same time it’s getting really convincing
So recently I’ve been having hocd false memories, not only is is hocd it’s also incest hocd. It’s making me think that I done some sick shit over stuff of someone in my family, about a year ago when my hocd first started I knew this thought wasn’t how my brain is portraying it and I knew it didn’t happen, now it’s making me think I did do this shit, (tos) it’s making me think I cummed over a mans clothing in my family.
This never happened but I’m at the point now where I’m not even sure wha happend. Like I know it didn’t happen but it’s just making me feel like it might over happend
Like I fully knew it didn’t happen and I still kinda know it didn’t happen but I’ve been replaying the same scenario in my head for the last two weeks and it’s adding new info all the time
At first I knew it was a fake scenario but now I’m not too sure I’m still sure it never happend tho
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OCD
|
So to make a long story short, I’m serving my conscription service and I’m sitting in the military psychiatrist’s office (for those who served know that any medical treatment in the military is trash) so I tell the guy my what’s bothering me, and what I told was that my life is constantly interrupted by ADHD, I’m impatient, I’m fidgeting a lot, I can’t stay focused at all, and smallest things distract me causing me to drop all of my hobbies and that leaves my life with lack of results and achievements. That’s why I feel depressed all the time. Idk whether he’s right or not to prescribe these drugs to me. But I feel like it’s better to take care of the bleeding first being the ADHD and then the wound being my depression. What do you guys and gals think?
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ADHD
|
I've recently been told I probably have ASD, Aspergers to be precise. This has come after years of living with Neurofibromatosis. I'm 32 and for years they never gave a real answer and thought it was only ADD as this is common with NF1. Has anyone else been diagnosed later in life? Did you have an assement as well as the Aq50
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aspergers
|
So I've been having some problems and I decided to talk to some people about it. My teacher said I could talk to the social worker if I didn't know how to talk to my parents. I went to her and we only talked a little bit for 2 days because I was new at the school for 7th grade this year and yesterday was the last day of school. Wr couldn't talk for as long as we could have if we talked before the last 2 days of school but with everything she got from me she called my mom and talked to her about it. She came eith the conclusion that I might have OCD and my mom also agreed because of some signs from when I was younger. She said that she obviously can't diagnose me but we should look into some therapy and stuff for it. While yes I have showed some signs I still don't really think I have it. She came up with that idea because I explained to her some of the things that I have to do every day and how I like everything to be perfect but I also have some other problems. I tried saying to my mom that OCD might not be the problem but she said that everything else might be problems because of quarantine since I've been in the house. I have had most.of these other problems and she just hasn't noticed them. What should I do?
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OCD
|
I have anxiety and OCD both. Different types of anxiety. I have health issues and I’m really disabled bc of how bad my anxiety is. I wanted to go see my boyfriend this week and then couldnt because that requires traveling. We’re long distance. I packed and bought a ticket and then i got too freaked out to go even though last time i was fine? Anyways, he understood but ive been crying anxious about how I’ll never be able to leave this place I’m living at bc of my disabilities. I was scared that i would ruin the relationship and was scared i would say offensive things to his mom even though I have never done that before either. I love him and his mom. Whats wrong with me? I’m on medication. But I’m starting my period soon. Does anyone else experience such anxiety on their period that makes them scared no matter what? I hope this post is allowed because I really need some comfort right now. My bf and I arranged plans for him to come here but now I’m experiencing harm OCD. 😞 i have different kinds of ocd and im just so scared of killing him and i dont want to kill him. Just like i was scared of offending his mom. I’m scared I’ll never see him again because of my OCD keeping me away. Which makes it worse. Please someone help me.
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OCD
|
I have my favorite clothes that I wear and just can’t seem to wear anything different, until I find another favorite piece
Of clothing to replace an old
Favorite with. Anyone else?
|
aspergers
|
Why does depression make me so sluggish? Everything I do happens so slowly and I'm aware of it, but I can't help it. For example, when I go to the store and I put my purchases in a bag... I have a hard time with it because it's so slow and the people behind me look confused and I want to go faster, but it just won't work . It's like my brain's reaction speed to my brain has slowed down.
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depression
|
So let me start off with, I'm getting a new tattoo Saturday. That's fine as it's in the morning but then I have no clue how long it'll really take and I'm meeting up with a friend the same day.
I don't think I had anything planned for Sunday but then I have work for 2 days before having 2 days off for hobby days.
Ontop of that on my first day off I have a phone meeting about my meds and progress. However, this is where I get torn. I have waited for YEARS for this part of my interests. Obviously I'm able to prioritize what im interested in as i can do that before my meeting.
I know that I am somehow going to zig zag my way through the next week and a bit and get the main things done but I'm feeling overwhelmed and the pharmacy in charge of my medication seem to not be doing anything.
The only thing I would overly like some help from is things I can have that will help my focus and ability to think once my tablets run out if I don't have my next prescription.
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ADHD
|
So for context, my psychologist dismissed the idea that I probably had ADHD for 2 reasons, one was that I couldn’t articulate what I was feeling in a way that indicated ADHD (which I honestly get, I have problems with communicating what I feel and identifying the root cause of my struggles) but the second one was that I have an IQ in the “high average” (119) and he thought most of my behavior related to ADHD aligned more with that, is it weird I wish I had a lower IQ so that my ADHD would’ve been caught earlier?
Edit: my psychologist does think I have ADHD now, the 2 reasons I mentioned are from the past (a year ago) and I’m seeing a psychiatrist for assessment
|
ADHD
|
As the title says, I have some hyper fixations that aren’t healthy for me to have and all the efforts I’ve made to get rid of them over the last year haven’t worked and have only ruined my mental health. I need urgent help.
|
aspergers
|
You know those you tell about your ptsd care when they message you and aak how you are doing today. My uncle my moms older brother asked how i was today we talked abit and it just reaffirmed that i can trust him still. My mother has 2 brothers and 2 sisters. Her younger brother and her are the reasons for my ptsd. Thought id share this. It is possible to have family to trust with whats going on in your head
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ptsd
|
I suffer from harm ocd or suicidal OCD and today has been hard. My boyfriends dad passed away and this type of OCD comes for me when I experience grief. I went on a boat today to fish and saw a knife. I immediately panicked thinking i was going to hurt myself with it and got sick. I threw up and had to go home. I'm at home now but I still have the anxiety that i'm going to lose control..
|
OCD
|
As a 28 year old, my life has been filled with many questions. Why am i so disorganized? Why don’t I actually like doing things? Why does doing things take actual effort to do. Why do I prefer staying at home playing video games than going out with friends? Why am i late to *everything*. Why can’t I read books like i used to growing up?
“Laziness”.
I always called myself lazy. I summed it up to me just being a lazy person. It’s a feeling i’ve fought for many years. One that i could never shake. But as I got older, I began to realize that I don’t feel like i’m lazy on purpose. I want to do things, i really do. But a part of my brain tells me that i’ll get to it later. Or that doing *x* is just boring to me. Why is life so bleak?
I found out about inattentive ADHD a couple years ago. I always thought that adhd meant hyperactive, can’t stop won’t stop type of thing so I never looked more into it… And then.. I saw a post from here, or one of the other ADHD subs. It was a comic with an green alien person describing inattentive adhd. And things really began to click as to why i felt the way i do. Focus. Organization. Time management. Depression. Anxiety.
Over the next two years I would do a little bit of research here and there. I’ve had questions about me for as long as I can remember, so seeing things that relate to what I feel like i suffer from have made me excited that I might find those answers. I found some decent resources that have helped me cope so far, as well as took on the path to getting assessed.
I’ve been thinking about this assessment every day since I booked it. I don’t know what to expect. I am worried that the answers i seek may not in the end be found. What if i’m not diagnosed with it? Is this just all in my head?
I don’t know what to expect, but i’ll try not to beat myself up if i’m wrong. But then that’ll leave me with more questions about myself.
Thanks for letting me vent a little.
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ADHD
|
I think to some degree things are going better than before but it's really hard to feel it. I'm still depressed and have been trying to tell myself I'm less depressed than I really am because I want to be better so badly. I hate finding no motivation in the days tasks and I feel paralyzed thinking about them. I need to get a psychiatrist and start medication but the wait times are literally months long and my dad doesnt approve. I just want to feel ok and act like a normal person that can do things. The only thing that makes me feel good is my boyfriend and I don't want to become dependent in that way because I know thats not healthy.
|
ptsd
|
So there’s some other layers of communication that only Normies have access to. It seems like a code at first, so I’ll call it normie social code. A lot of information goes through these channels.
I couldn’t list everything on here, but one example is the difference between someone actively not listening to you versus not hearing you. If they didn’t hear you, they wouldn’t show any attention to you, but if they’re actively ignoring you, they may have looked at you once and then looked away. Screw the people who go internal and don’t think about where they’re looking at all times.
It kind of feels like gaslighting though and I can’t really tell if it is or not because I don’t have steady access to the other channels of communication. Like I might normie code to someone that I’m hearing and listening to them, so they expect me to have all the information. Then if I don’t respond, I am seen as rude. Because I normie coded that I’m hearing them, I don’t get a break for not hearing them like I would’ve if I looked away. I literally had no idea about this until just this year and I am 24, so all those times these kind of things have happened in the past I just had no idea and I just thought the rules were being unfairly applied to me.
To an untrained autistic eye, this looks like gaslighting 100%. To a trained autistic eye, I really have no idea if I’m being gaslighted or if I unknowingly sent code that they responded to, which is uncomfortable.
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aspergers
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I can tell very small changes in people's personality, often before they fully realize themselves. I have no problem understanding how someone feels about me, if they're trying to take advantage of me, if they like me, if they're annoyed by me etc. But i've always had the issue of figuring out how to respond, especially when i can tell someone is being fake but they're trying to screw me over, or they're pressuring me to do things i don't want to do. I'm also not 100% how to act in group settings, i'm getting better it at (true story, I actually learned how to act better in groups after accidently seeing a threesome in a tv show when I was like 14) but I'm still not very comfortable in them and I get exhausted very easily. I'm good with one on one, but I always feel the need for people to pay attention to, it's almost counter intuitive because I hate being the center of attention, but I also want to be acknowledged. I've been called the r word numerous times, crazy, not right in the head, idiot, etc... because I keep doing stupid shit to draw attention to myself and then I get depressed cuz I made everyone pay attention to me. I get very bored of talking to people and I'll just get very quiet, and then I see them noticing and try to act more interesting and then that comes off really fake. When I'm comfortable and in the right mood I can be normal and do almost anything, but that exhausts me fairly quickly and I just quite and awkward because I don't have the energy anymore. Can anyone relate?
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aspergers
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Ironic. I tried hard while writing it. Maybe including a quote of a passage from a book put it over the edge. Mods were polite about it and not wrong.
I was trying to describe the way it feels to be moving to a new house and feel bereft of established patterns of behavior.
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aspergers
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Please, please help me.
The past 2-3 months I have been doing very well managing my symptoms and I have been overall, happy.
About 2 weeks ago I noticed myself becoming angry just by my fiancé’s presence… it makes me feel crazy as he is literally my favorite person. I have been SO irrationally angry with him about nothing. I can reason with myself, but can’t help my anger.
Not currently on any medications as none I have tried have worked. Been off for 3ish months.
I’m also upset because Christmas is my FAVORITE and being pissy is ruining it for me.
Please help me 😢😢😢😢😢
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ADHD
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