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Everyday is the same, I don't know what I want to do with my life. Everything costs money so I have a job that I dislike and I'm trying to change that part, but I still don't know my career. I wanna cry all the time I feel so lost. I'm 19 and I know I don't need everything figured out but shit I don't wanna live like this but I don't know where to go.
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depression
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My PTSD has really gotten out of hand this week. And now I can't seem to stomach anything. Even when I try to eat, I get the worst stomach aches. Does anyone else relate?
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ptsd
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So here is a advice from me. And i learned it the hard way. I (as we all) struggle sometimes to get things done. But then a family member got sick and i had to take care of this person. Do the laundry, make food and so on. I simply couldn't disappoint this person (and me) Yes it was hard. Go to work and do this additional stuff. But guess what. I did it. Because this person is super super important for me.
Since then everytime adhd kicks in the balls i remember this time and try to treat myself as i treat my loved one. Most times i work but not always.
No adhd is not cured. I still fade away and make mistakes and everything that belongs to adhd. But my exekutive-dysfunktion to do "nothing" and be unable to the the most simple task is pretty much gone. At least for the moment (edit:spell)
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ADHD
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It says I’m not aloud to share links or videos that fucking sucks because I found a video on “how to stop your inner voice” and it’s so simple and effective!!!! 🤯🥺🥺🥺 I want to show everyone so we can all use this method!!!Please message me privately if you want me to send the link to the video 🖤 I will post it in the comment section too but that might get removed if it isn’t aloud.
I’ve been practicing it every time I have an intrusive thought, I can hold it for as long as I focus on holding it. If you do this as much as you can for as long as you can eventually we can make it our DMN and be free of thinking anything at all or at least have complete control of the internal monologue - get rid of our intrusive thoughts 😭🖤😭🖤😭🖤
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OCD
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Ever take y’all forever to pick a movie?
I swear, I’ll be scrolling for 20 minutes sometimes just trying to find a movie that will satisfy me and stimulate me. Then I finally pick a movie, have trouble getting into it, and get bored like 30 minutes in, forget names and just end up on my phone most of the time… it pisses me off lol. If I don’t go on my phone or talk a lot during the movie I really can’t sustain watching it
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ADHD
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Does anyone ever do anything that calms down their compulsions. Before I continue I just want to say I haven’t had a professional examination and do not want to self diagnose, but I have a lot of symptoms and to be honest wether I have ocd or not I think advice would help?
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OCD
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First, I want to say that I do not intend to come across as disrespectful to anyone; if I do, I truly am sorry. Something very traumatic happened to me when I was 16 and it just clicked in my mind that I am not over that series of events. I really don’t know if I should go into detail, it’s not necessarily my story to tell. However, I was sort of a “bodyguard” for my best friend who decided to become a prostitute at the time. I know...it is crazy. It’s just, there were too many times where I walked into a situation believeing someone will not walk out alive. I was already diagnosed with MDD before this whole situation. Afterwards, I experienced a level of depression and fear that overcome and demolished my life. Dropped out of school, stopped eating, became a complete recluse, there is just too much to list. I still feel these effects to this day. Can anyone give me some insight on...anything?
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ptsd
|
Is it weird that whenever I try to talk about the sexual abuse I went through I start to panic a bit? Like I can say "I was sexual abused as a child" like its nothing but if I try to describe what happened I feel sick to my stomach. I tense up, my heart goes crazy, I feel like throwing up, I want to cry, and it's just panic. Like I can't describe it.
I feel so disgusted trying to talk about it. It's just like pain I guess if that makes sense. Like I can't force myself to talk about it but I feel like I have to talk about it in order to get past it, so how do I talk about it? Do I just force myself to do it?
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ptsd
|
I really can't go to the therapist since it's kinda embarrassing to ask my family and my family won't believe me so I'm all alone doing ERP, I need help with calming down. I keep having intrusive thoughts and it get scarier
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OCD
|
So I just started seeing a new therapist for many reasons but one of them would be managing my life with adhd. She’s not an adhd specialist (I wasn’t able to get one, but besides that she’s a seemingly good fit) so I’m still hoping it can help especially with accountability.
Right now I’m at a point where I don’t feel like I can sort my shit out and get back on track.. and even times where I have it was more of a false front and that’s why I so easily fall back into chaos.
So I was wondering if anyone has things maybe they did with an adhd specialist / coach / therapist wtv or just things you think could help. I know this is a very broad question but I’m really just floating in chaos right now and struggling to get grounded..so any advice is appreciated just please be nice.
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ADHD
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I’ll try to keep this short and sweet.
Taking 27mg concerta every morning (around 9-10am), and an 18mg in the afternoon (around 3-4pm). I am a 23F, weigh 105lbs.
WTF do you guys eat during the day to not have the awful clammy, anxious feeling when you get hungry on meds…but aren’t hungry?
Like what do you eat?? How long before you take your meds do you eat? Please. Anything will help lol. I get repulsed by food when I’m on my meds but I know I should eat. This is getting to the point where it’s really affecting me at work, and also my grumpiness is affecting my relationship.
Thanks!
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ADHD
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**TL;DR: first time trying medication: great mentally, but physical side effects (head-pressure/ slight headache) and worried that they won't subside, and I have to stop taking it**
I just got diagnosed recently and tried Elvanse 30mg and oh boy my brain was never so clear and calm before, my mind feels like the smooth surface of a lake or like the ten radios inside finally shut down.
I can focus on things and am not constantly interrupted by my own thoughts. It's honestly amazing, although a bit scary because it is a big contrast to my normal brain-state, which is a lot more chaotic, random, with more parallel thoughts and generally a lot more going on.
The only thing that irritates me is the head-pressure/ slight headache I get, when the medication kicks in. It's really annoying and only goes away after the medication is out of my system. The other physical effects I have are mostly dry mouth, a higher blood pressure (still in the normal range) and that my body kind of feels “wired”.
I already reduced the dose, now I'm talking about 10mg which still makes my mind clear, (not as much as 20 or 30mg did), but the head-pressure is still there.
So I wanted to ask if the head-pressure will go away eventually (it's only the fourth day)? Or do I have to try another medication, Medikinet maybe?
Or maybe stimulant medication isn't at all right for me because my body reacts too much to it, which would be a shame because I can already anticipate how much it will help me.
I'm also a lot less-talkative in social settings, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. Normally I can't shut up, and now I sometimes don't know what else to say or talk about, which is quite a foreign feeling. I don't know if the medication makes me less sociable, or just works as intended.
Also, I don't get so euphoric and hyper anymore when I'm on the medication, which I kind of miss. But I guess that is just a sign that my emotional regulation is better with the medication, and it works as intended, but is kind of less fun.
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ADHD
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(I’m not diagnosed with ADHD but I suspect I may have it, but I also feel like a don’t so I’m going to Reddit, not a doctor ✌🏾)
Loud noises always scare me. It’s gotten better over the years but it’s still there. I’m not even sure if “scare” is the right word to use, it’s just my brain goes into a state where the noise is the only thing happening in my head and I just don’t like it. In elementary school I used to have to wait for the toilet to finish flushing to leave the stall because my head was only focused on the noise. It’s really hard to explain.
Enough rambling though, I was abruptly and very loudly reminded of this little quirk of mine because I decided to put my alarm on “away” (which just means if the camera detects movement it goes off) and stand in the living room to look for my phone. When it went off the first thing I did was shut down and my mind ran through all the possibilities of “there is someone in my house”, and to combat this I did the only right thing to do, and sat on the couch while covering my ears. It took me a couple seconds to realize I should probably take it off, but I was scared to move.
More of a rant post but feel free to laugh at my stupidity.
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ADHD
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And even if they do care, not like i can get a diagnostics cause we do be not very rich and to get an appointment and diagnosis can be several hundred euro.
Cant focus in school and study for tests, cant work on stuff i enjoy like tattooing or playing guitar, and get told im "just being lazy" several times a day. Gonna fail my exams and get given out to by parents and teachers, will have my pc, phone and free time taken away, will lose contact with friends, continue to fail exams, fail my leaving cert next year and then get kicked out and have to join the countless homeless people in the streets of Dublin
I hate myself
No vent or rant flair so wasnt sure which to use
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ADHD
|
I went on a date last night. The guy was so gentlemanly and respectful but now my brain is picking apart some things he said and trying to tell me he’s creepy or gonna r*pe me. Why can’t I have one good thing!
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OCD
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This morning I woke up in a complete state over one of my obsessions (my OCD always gets really bad the week before my period). It was awful and I felt like the world was ending but I had plans with my friends and needed to pull myself together. It went 0 to 100 in like half an hour so I had to google for reassurance, and I found a concrete piece of reassurance I didn’t have before. So now I’m feeling so soothed and calm but the question is: am I just high on reassurance and will my OCD attack from another angle? Or have I got rid of this worry forever, and now I can move on with my life?
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OCD
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For those who are or have been in that position, what can/could I say for someone considering it to make them feel better? It's frustrating not having something to say and end up not saying nothing to not screw everything up even more.
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depression
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One of my biggest struggles with my OCD is perfectionism. Whenever I want to learn something new or complete a task, if I make one small mistake it makes me want or start all over or just give up in general. For example, last year I really wanted to get into digital drawing and was completely new to it. I was first really motivated to start, but then quickly started to compare myself to other artists who have been drawing for years on end and felt really bad if I made mistakes while learning. This has been an ongoing cycle for several difference things, and I feel that I am limiting myself to learning and growing. Does anyone who also struggles with this have any ways that have helped you?
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OCD
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I think my daughter has OCD but I want to make sure that she is diagnosed by someone well qualified to make the diagnosis and proceed with appropriate treatment. I know that someone with an M.S. Ed can’t prescribe meds but are they qualified to make the diagnosis? What qualifications should I be looking for? What is the process for making an OCD diagnosis? Many thanks.
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OCD
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How do you get over a song that constantly reminds you of the darkest time of your life ? Please help me. I just want to kill myself , i dont want to hear that song anymore. Everytime i hear that song i punch on the wall and scream as loud as i can til im tired. I just want to make myself numb so that i cant feel anymore.
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ptsd
|
I don't want to say what it is because I don't want people to have the same problem as me because it's torturious. let's just say I should be doing something by myself but I have to manually do it, and I can't stop thinking about it no matter what I try.
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OCD
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But there is no one...
I wish I had the excuse, someone to blame for how I am. Some magic medicine I could take and stop feeling like this.
My life till now has been average, most people have liked me since I was born, other kids, teachers, parents and brothers. My parents, brothers, and some extended family love me and I love them. But thats about it. I can't think of another single person outside my family I give a shit about. I dont treat people badly and vice versa. No one hates me.
So why am I the only one that does?
My family has never been straped for cash (and if they were they hid it well), they would always try their best to get me what I want and when they couldn't, I understood. I live comfortably in a decent home with a bunch of amenities and a house full of love and I'm on a toilet whining about how great my life is. And I still feel like I ve done nothing to deserve any of this. I feel like a waste of space, money, life...
I've felt like this ever since I left high-school (maybe even during), and started going to college. My mom would comfort me, and say its apart of growing up or whatever. Then I would calm down for a couple months and just distract myself with youtube, netflix, porn, video games, anything to pass time. It all starting to feels like **meh** now.
There are some days i dont feel like shit for whatever reason, but they are few and far between. I dont want to die, but this feeling of worthlessness sucks. I should have nothing to complain about but I am.
What now?
Sorry if it got whiny
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depression
|
I usually nap when I don’t get enough sleep. Today, I took a nap right after taking my long-lasting ADHD medication to recover some sleep, and I woke up with this awful aura around my head, dizzy spells, and cognitive delay. The aura feels like a gigantic, burning-hot hairdryer is hairdrying the top of my head at all times. I had a worse but much shorter instance of this occur during a previous nap: I couldn’t see anything and my tinitus increased. It reminded me of a migraine. Does this ever happen to you?
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ADHD
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Tl;dr: My question is, does anybody have arrhythmia and is on medication for OCD that doesn't aggravate it? If so how was the process and what medication did you find best?
​
I have arrhythmia; low resting heartbeat, fast heartbeat after standing and palpitation that is very easily triggered.
I used to be on Seroquel two years ago which honestly might have triggered the arrhythmia (and hypotension) because the dose was way too high for me, I was misdiagnosed and should've discontinued immediately upon severe side effects but wasn't educated (and was too sedated to)
I want to go on medication for OCD but even though my arrhythmia has shown up on tests, doctors tend to not take me seriously because I'm young (25) and unless it's life-threatening they can't do much. I want to consult my doctor on this but I don't even want to bring up mental illness because they will definitely dismiss my heart symptoms as just anxiety.
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OCD
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I've felt different for the longest time, unsure if there's something wrong with me and after hours and days of research I'm pretty much 100% sure I had ADHD, also bearing in mind I'm a 21 year old woman so feel I've experienced my fair share of misdiagnosis.
The NHS is overwhelmed don't get me wrong but i am so tired of being told I'll have to wait months if not years simply to get tested. I'm at a point where I literally can't function and has put me in a pretty dark place in recent times. I don't know what the fuck to do anymore. I'm on antidepressants but every time I come off of them I feel 100x better and I wonder if in reality I need medication for ADHD.
Honestly I'm so tired, makes me wonder whether there's a common theme of those suffering with undiagnosed ADHD ending things.
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ADHD
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So at work we had like an 8h meeting with some breaks that lasted 10 mins. As the meeting was not organized whatsoever, it didnt have any structure I had hard time to follow. I guess no one saw that as a problem and I tried few times to emphasize this is a problem… well in the end right now we have not set up anything at all and people expect me to do something that is not clear… on top of that I really have hard time to focus in the environment and I avoid looking at people when answering, have problems to clearly voice what I mean. Any one is having that too?
Sorry, just needed to put it somewhere where people may understand me.
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aspergers
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I’m a 24 year old woman who just got diagnosed with adhd & started taking adderall within the past year. I also struggle with anxiety and depression- my depression mostly being the ‘there’s no point’/ ‘life’s one big circle that has no purpose’/ feeling like i want to do so much but it’s impossible and i never executed so it made me angry and resentful and confused how i was so bad at “doing life” >> leading to again, “what’s the point”.
***now time for the revolution after settling in with my new adderal prescription… i’m realizing how all of that accumulated from years and years of being unaware, undiagnose, & unmediated for my adhd. the low motivation, low energy, scatterbrain, desire to do everything yet nothing, every single thing i did took so so so much energy from me and i burned out so quickly and i felt like i could never catch up and so “what was the point”!!!!!!! like WOW, what would life have been like if i was diagnosed as a young child instead of a college graduate??? how would my SCHOOL LIFE have been different?? would i have actually been in/ stayed i clubs and sports as a child? would i have actually done well in AP classes? could i have not had years of horrible self esteem from hating on myself for feeling so inadequate?? i’m not trying to dwell on the past bc it’s too late to change it, & im happy with where i am now so not like i would Want to change things but it’s just so interesting to reflect on.
but also looking into the future.. i feel so much more hopeful about being able to get through depressive episodes that i will endure & they suddenly don’t seem as scary. 💜
thanks for listening- comment if you have something you’d like to share & let’s have more undiagnosed adhd vs depression revelations!
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ADHD
|
I didn't even know I died. It was in June.
Nobody ever tells me they are happy I'm around. No one reached out to me on Thanksgiving.
I spent yesterday alone in my tent, hungry, and crying and cold.
I'm trying to stay positive. I'm going through mania to over compensate for my lack of a "positive" energy. I'm so low.
I found a bag of heroin on the ground the day before yesterday. Enough to probably kill me.
I overdosed on fentanyl in June. Snorted a line thicker than my finger.
Didn't even think twice. Didn't even think that it would kill me. Just. Did it.
The heroin was begging for it. I snorted a small amount. Just to remind myself of that day.
I threw the bag out.
But nobody ever tells me they are happy I'm still here. Nobody is even around to know that I chose not to do it again.
I'm not even happy. I don't know why I isn't just do it.
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depression
|
When I was relatively young, say 5, My dad got a bit.... extreme... in his alcoholism.
He'd yell, hit my brother and I, and would overall make an evening hell.
Now I'm 6'1, 220lbs, and have a fairly deep voice. Im a big dude.
But if someone even raises their voice near me I pretty much shut down. I get quiet, shake a bit (think light shivering) and really just wanna sit down for a bit, recollect my thoughts.
And the entire time I go through my recovery bit, I just absolutely hate myself. Im a big guy, built like a viking, and here I am shaking like a small dog who just got scared by a passing truck.
I know I should actively work on fixing my problems with my (awesome) therapist, but everytime I sit down with her I feel weak. Like I should just sit in the corner and accept that im less because I cant *be a man*.
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ptsd
|
I am falling down a deep hole of mental health issues. I have no friends and I am scared of people. Covid has made my life so much worse than it was before, and I have no idea what to do. People keep saying to make friends but I am scared to do that. No one around me is nice and they act so immature. My family are having so many fights and I feel like I am left to fend for myself. I am in no headspace to do anything and I feel like giving up. I don’t feel like I can talk to anyone because I am scared of what they will do to me. I am not sure what to do with my life and everyone’s expectations are getting to me. I don’t feel capable to live up to them and everyone is getting upset because of it. It isn’t even hard things anymore. I feel useless and stuck. I spend my days wishing I could escape from this nightmare. I am feeling emotionally numb and wishing to escape from reality. This has lead me into researching things to see if I can do things such as dissociation (The answer is no, as far as I am aware) to help cope. I feel like I am a waste of resources, which is stopping me from doing things like self harm, because I don’t want to waste all that was put into me. I am not sure what I want to come out of writing this, but I just want things to get better. I want to stop being useless and help. I want to be able to complete normal mundane tasks and stop feeling useless. I want to talk to someone without them knowing me and repercussions for feelings and thoughts. Thanks for reading this, as this probably wasted everyone’s time but thanks anyways.
- random person on the internet
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depression
|
I was diagnosed with ADHD just over a year ago and am trying out different medications (nothing that seems optimal yet). The OCD symptoms are now really flaring up with medication.
I am also constantly picking my scalp and pull out hair and this is really want I’m trying to tackle with my doctor and my therapist. I feel more out of control since starting medication.
Is anyone on medication for ADHD and has found it helpful for OCD? What kind are you on?
I’m of course not looking for recommendations/I’ll consult my doctor. But it will help me with my researching of navigating both OCD and ADHD.
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OCD
|
21/F I don't blame anyone for leaving, i envy them. i wish i could leave me, i try and be kind and nice but anyone that has gotten too close to me just leaves and i wish i could do the same. i feel like a dog that was raised badly and bites a child, i feel like i should be put down so i would never hurt anyone or myself again. the only way i can leave is through death i guess. i feel bad for my past actions and beat myself up over it but it's not enough i feel ending this life is the only answer. the worst part is none of my problems seem worth this strife i'm just a lonely, sad and weak person and i just want to leave myself.
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depression
|
I'd like to ask for an assessment or referral from my family doctor but I keep overthinking about what to say and being scared of being dismissed and being told that I'm making shit up.
I feel like an imposter, even though I've been reading about ADHD and lurking here for a year now and relating to almost everything and the fact that my brother and cousin have it makes it a possibility for me. My therapist suggested it too.
I read about all those successful diagnosis and treatment stories and dream about the possibility of having a 'normal' life.
I just want an objective assessment and not even guaranteed diagnosis, but I'm so scared of asking fo it. How should I bring this up? I'm in Canada (Ontario) if it matters.
(I'm sorry this post doesn't belong here, I'm really hopeless.)
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ADHD
|
I’m on my 29th YouTube video of the day I’ve been awake for 5 hours and most of the videos I’ve watched have been about 15 minutes long I’m doing great I swear (I’m not but it’s fine) this has all been done instead of the two very simple homework assignments I have to do.
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depression
|
I take 10mg 2x daily of generic adderall. It works perfectly for me, I’m not having issues and life is normal. I’ve taken this amount since being prescribed last December. Every month I call and request a refill from my doctor’s office. Well yesterday I called and they asked hesitantly “how many days do you have left?” I looked at my bottle and said “well about 4 or 5 days worth” and they were all weirded out by that info and said they would refill and hung up. When I looked back, I last called the doctor for refill on Sept. 21, and yesterday was Oct. 14. Since I get a 30 day supply (60 pills), I realized this didn’t add up. I have NO idea where those 4 to 6 pills went!!! I do not double dose, I could see myself taking an extra by accident but definitely not on purpose. I called the pharmacy today and they said they haven’t gotten any notification from my doctor to refill my prescription. I’m lowkey nervous, I have a job interview next week and I have no idea if there is some weird protocol surrounding this. I just know that it would be a very bad time to be taken off my meds. Can someone suggest what I should do here?
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ADHD
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I dont really know what else to say. I had a really good scholarship, but I fucked up in English class at uni. I haven't turned in my work for my English class like like 3 weeks for some reason!!! I dont know why I let myself get into this situation!!! The work wasn't even fucking hard. I just didn't do it for some reason. I think because it was an online class, I just let myself fucking forget about it like a dumbass. I dont know what to fucking do. I'll try to make up all of missing work over this Thanksgiving break, but honestly, if I end up failing out and losing my scholarship, I think I'll just drop out and kill myself. I don't want to, but I just feel so embarassed and stupid and im so frustrated with myself for getting into this completely avoidable situation. I have no idea how to fix it. It was such an easy class, too, it was just that the workload became too much so I started forgetting more and more assignments. I'm so frustrated with myself. None of this even feels real. I'm so embarrassed. I dont even know if turning in my work will help me at this point. Not to mention im probably doing terrible in my calculus class, as well. I want to die. I spent all week doing just one missing assignment for my English class, and completely forgot about my other ones that were due this week. Apparently we had a group project that I didn't even know about. I'm so frustrated. I let my depression and laziness get the best of me and now im paying the price and i just feel so horrible about myself
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depression
|
I've been using marijuana since I was in my teens and I knew it helped with anxiety related to my ptsd but I recently took an extended tolerance break and realized my nightmares/night flashbacks came back with a vengeance. Lit up soon after. Pot stops you from dreaming/lessens dreaming. I've been using it medically this whole time but this really put it into perspective how much its helped me.
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ptsd
|
How do you do it?
I've always felt really awkward in church. I never ''learned'' to pray. I don't know what to say to God.
It feels like your talking to the air. I think religion is emotional connection. It's like you're not connecting with higher power but you're connecting with people around you.
I have trouble connecting with people -> I can't pray -> 404 God not found
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aspergers
|
Was inspired by another post on this channel to share how my "2021 wrapped" stats on Spotify show that I have ADHD:
* I listen to more music than 84% of the people in my country (34,188 min, that's like over 20 days of constant music... I don't use Spotify to listen to Podcasts or Audiobooks)
* Listened to "God is a Woman" 217 times and am in the top 0,5% of Ariana Grande's most loyal listeners and listened to her music for 2,178 min, which is about 36 hours... (Hyperfixation much???)
* My aura is selfassured and bold, since I listen to music to boost my ego, lift my mood and make me feel more in control... Just low self-esteem things I guess
* Listened to 78 different Genres and 998 different artists, since I need the right music for every situation and feeling and am really bad at choosing a song or playlist, so I often listen to a song for 20 seconds and then skip, especially in playlists that I didn't make myself.
I don't know why exactly I was surprised by those stats, but it's kind of cool to see that I guess...
Please share how your stats might show that you have ADHD, because I think that's so interesting!
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ADHD
|
Okay this is just a random post that I thought would be funny. I have severe severe intrusive thoughts (like 24/7) I underwent general anesthesia two days ago for a surgery and beforehand I was like “oh my god I’m going to say something fucked up to the nurses I’m going to talk about my intrusive thoughts” but I woke up and all I did was tell them how nice they were and how out of it I was 😭
Anyways idk maybe this is an achievement? hahahah, I thought it was kinda funny.
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OCD
|
I’ll be starting it for PTSD and depression/anxiety in two weeks and I’m nervous. I’ve never heard of it. Hoping to hear some honest experiences if you’re comfortable with that. Thank you!
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ptsd
|
It's an executive functioning issue and it's literally because soda is easy.
Getting a glass of water or juice or something might not sound so hard, and it kind of isn't, but compared to just grabbing a can Coke and cracking it open, yeah, suddenly it becomes quite a task. And it definetely doesn't help I identified Coke as one of the few safe foods that I knew I liked as a kid and that stuck.
I'm thinking about just dropping soda icold turkey after today, or at least severely limiting my intake from here on because I know it's getting bad for me. Wish me luck guys.
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aspergers
|
I am a 30 year old male i always struggled to cope with live from very young age my father was abusive he even shot at me with a gun i strugled i tried to took my live twice the first time i cut my wrist my mother found me took me to the hospital cut was so deep they had to join my ligament again the second time i was 26 i took a rope tied it to the roof in my garage and hanged myself and passed out when i woke up i was in the hospital the rope broke and my wife found me when she heard the thump after that she said i must get help or she is going to leave me after i was mental institute for 2 months i was diagnosed with adhd bipolar and ocd iam on medication and it helps but not always i get so distant from my family when i get depressed i want someone to talk to but i also get so irational when iam depressed i cant sleep i just want to die i hate myself i hate that i have to be like this i hate that i have this shit it like a never ending cycle its like the seasons in the year and I hate this I just want this to stop why some times i just feel nothing like every thing and every one doesnt matter then it changes to i love every one so much then i get so into my work that nothing in the world matters but the job then one day i just dont care about my job anymore...... i hate this i just had to get this off my chest sorry i never done this just I feel like a blackhole
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depression
|
ever since i’ve been little, i’ve always picked at my scabs and skin, no matter how much it hurt. i recently got surgery on my toes and have also been picking at the wound and even ripped off one of my toenails. i’ve felt that i’ve been compelled to do it. my dad has mentioned to me that he thinks he has ocd, and i do things so compulsively that i think i might as well. how would i go about asking my doctor about this? i’m not trying to self diagnose, i just want to stop further harming my skin.
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OCD
|
TW for people w Pocd
I went to the beach today with my friends. I didn’t really want to go cause of my Pocd but went anyways.
There was a lot of people there especially kids. I kept telling myself to not look at their butts but whenever I did see a child I would get a groinal response like a tingling. I then would look more hoping it would go away. Idk I feel like I could actually be a pedo cause normally people get groinal responses to thoughts not actual kids. What do ye think?
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OCD
|
I don’t really stop and think about it a lot but when I do, it really gets me. How traumatizing this pandemic has been. Left trapped in quarantine for a year and a half alone with only my compulsions to torment me.
And with contamination OCD and the media sensationalizing ‘the spread’ only serving to confirm my fears in a way. Like I was doing all this stuff to stay “clean” before COVID but part of me knew it was irrational. But now hearing other people do some of it to avoid getting sick…it’s hard. It’s hard to convince myself it’s irrational. And I feel like it keeps getting worse and past a point of no return.
That’s really it. I just wanted to say I’m sure this time has been really traumatizing for many (if not all) of us…but we’ve gotten through it so far ❤️
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OCD
|
So I know most people have depression but has anyone else felt like they had to live a lie because of it?? So I'm 26 years old as of now, but my depression hit in hardcore around middle school so around when I was 12 years old, sure I was sad before then but I was always giddy and outgoing. I had a rough childhood for sure, but most everyone does, and I was a straight A student but I never had any friends in school, I was the weird kid who everyone picked on, but I didn't know I was being picked on at the time.
So in middle school I learned I didn't have any friends, and my home life was getting really bad, I lived in squalor and my family was really really poor so my living conditions and my house were bad, we had mice and cockroaches and it was gross but we did our best, but it was just a bad area of town and I never went to other kids houses, and never hung out with other kids, so when I did see how other kids houses were and how nice and tidy and loving their families were I instantly felt shame, because my step father was horribly abusive and would never let me leave our house. So my grades dropped when I realized how much worse off I was compared to other people, I started getting nothing but straight Fs in school, I stopped participating and just sat in my room in darkness and just reflected, everything got worse and worse, I became suicidal and wanted to hurt myself but never actually did, so I put off my grades, and was harassed for my weight by everyone including my step father, so I became anorexic and starved myself to the point I almost died, I hated life, I just wanted people to accept me, so when I did end up making friends, I would never bring them to my house out of shame, and one time someone did show up to hang out and they came inside they reassured my shame and told me my house and living conditions looked like shit and I became a shut in, the abuse just kept coming from my step father and it never got better, so I stayed in my room, failed all my classes, didn't get my license and ended up dropping out of high school, so I became a shut in and pushed everyone away because I felt less than everyone else, almost like I was a sub human. I ended up moving out and getting a job and finally graduating high school but I never told anyone because I felt it was already expected of me and that I should already have had some those things, it just hurts and I'm still suffering from that feeling now that I'm 26, sorry for the long rant everyone.
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depression
|
Last summer one of my sister’s friends that we were carpooling to work with conspired with her to pull what they apparently thought was a “hilarious” prank on me. This was literally meant to cause me as much trouble as possible.
They found one of those panic siren things that are extremely loud, high-pitched, and just generally terrible. Their grand idea continued as they waited till I got in the car, got my seatbelt on, and then started driving. Soon, she turned on the siren. I was in the back, so I couldn’t see where it was coming from. They tried to convince me that it was normal and that it was just that her car was broken. Apparently it “didn’t matter” because we would be there soon. I immediately covered my ears as tight as I could, but it didn’t help. It was physically hurting me, but all they did was laugh at my reaction. I was basically considering getting out to walk.
I, eventually, after much effort to control myself, begged my sister to shut it off. I’m not stupid, that wasn’t coming from the car. They would shut it off for a few seconds and I would relax a bit and then they would turn it back on again. It was terrible. I think my sister eventually realized it was actually hurting me quite a bit, because it did stop, but I was just remembering that today. It sucked.
It makes me sad that they thought seeing me in pain was funny.
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aspergers
|
Hello!
So, for the past years I´ve seriously thought that I might have OCD. I Started counting all the symptoms that people with OCD have plus how people with it fell and to be honest I identify with all of them. Either having to use a towel to take my PC charger bc it touched the floor (don't judge me...); refusing to take something from the floor because is "contaminated" and leaving it there for days or using my ; constant weird rituals life touching ; intrusive thoughts like my family suffering if I dont do certain rituals (if my brain feels like it was done well because if not I´ll have to repeat it) and more...you get me.
Now, while all of them are annoying they are not stopping me from continuing my life (at least for them majority of cases) so what point would there to have to ask my parents (I´m a minor) amid of a pandemic; go trough a long process of screenings; waste the psychiatrist and more healthcare professionals for something it doesn't affect me to the level of some people I´ve heard about online.
​
Can someone give their opinion? Do you think it will be worth it if I try to go trough a diagnosis?
|
OCD
|
I want to see a therapist, but I don’t really know what to say other than I’ve been depressed & anxious for 20 years (I’m 30 now) and have tried medications that don’t work. I feel like there is some deep issue at the root of my depression that needs to be addressed and discussed, but I feel like I can barely even carry a basic conversation with other people. I just don’t know how to explain myself. And I often lose my train of thought in the middle of explaining anything.
I feel like I can‘t ever get to the root of the problem because my mind is so scattered, cloudy, anxious, and can’t think clearly.
Furthermore, I have terrible social anxiety and always feel irritable around others, so I worry about not being able to communicate effectively to a psychologist, which could lead to a poor diagnosis.
Maybe I have ADD.
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depression
|
I keep having these thoughts and I keep trying to figure out if there are choices, what is a choice, why do some people say that it's not, no choice, choice. Choice. Choice. Choice.
I've imagined so much based around the theme of choice, and much of it seems logical in retrospect and at the time of the thought.
Can someone guide me, help me figure out a way to ease this up?
Also, what generally triggers these thoughts? What should I look for to identify the triggers?
|
OCD
|
So I was recently diagnosed with OCD after years of suffering from intrusive thoughts. One of my most common coping mechanisms for them was just constantly thinking “stop it” in order to push those thoughts out of my head, as well as “arguing” with them. I was under the impression that that was a healthy coping mechanism, but apparently it’s considered a mental compulsion? So I’m curious what the difference is between a healthy coping mechanism that helps you deal with intrusive thoughts and an unhealthy compulsion
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OCD
|
Things like the wayback machine makes me paranoid, i feel like someone is going to find the things i said years ago when i was a stupid, 'edgy' teen. Theres no way i can delete what i said, and society doesn't care if you have changed. I feel like i should stop posting for fear of being identified, in my teens i was very stupid and used my name while making mean and idiotic comments, some of them are still there, other i could delete, but there's still the possibility someone took a screenshot or is in the internet archives.
|
OCD
|
Hey all, I am taking concerta (54mg) daily and I'm flying from Canada to France on Saturday. I'm just wondering if I take concerta as I normally would, is that gonna screw up my sleep patterns more than just jet lag? And when I start taking the pills in France do I just take it in the morning French time? Or should I not take them till I'm in France? I guess I just have my ass on a seat for like 8 hours lol no real need to focus? If anyone has any advice I'd appreciate it 🙂
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ADHD
|
I hate how my CPTSD and disorganized attachment makes it so hard to connect with others even though I want it so badly. COVID crisis without a support system is rough.
I am so sad and alone. More than anything in want healthy relationships but I struggle so hard because of my disorganized attachment and trauma history. I don’t trust others. When people try to get close, I push them away. I feel unlovable. I am a very ambitious woman who works hard to get what they want.... but I have yet to be successful in the relationship/friendship area and it is so sad. Right now I am pushing my therapist away.
This so hard. More than anything I want real and healthy love. But I am scared and grossed out by intimacy.
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ptsd
|
Ever since I have started driving I have always gotten lost and I am curious if it is because of my ADHD. Anytime I have to go somewhere new I get so nervous of getting lost.
It’s like I make one wrong turn and all of the sudden I am in the middle of nowhere because I panic…Just now I had an appointment that was 13 minutes away and was driving for an hour and 20 minutes because I got so lost (never ended up making the appointment).
The panic of getting lost causes me to get so much more lost even if I am only minutes away from the destination. I’m unsure if this is just me or if it related to my ADHD. I would love to know if anyone can relate to this?
|
ADHD
|
Not really sure what i want my prose to be like for this. I've given ***YEARS*** of my time to people I once loved and trusted but all they really cared to have from me was sex. I don't really care whether or not they find - or ever found - me a congenial enough person to be around; I only have me to blame for driving myself into this massive ditch. I pimped myself out like a concubine for my own instant gratification instead focusing on the important things. I can't wait to be gone. Sibling would be the only person in the world that has my sympathy in such an instance, but it's honestly the exact thing my mother deserves to have a son pass away before she does herself. I think I would be enjoying a more successful life rn if I had just "leaned in" to being an asshole all those years back, despite knowing better.
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depression
|
Before i start, I’m Sean, a 17 year old aspie that also has ADHD and an anxiety disorder.
Anyway, when i was about 11, I went to disney with my mom, dad, and my grandparents. My grandma owns a timeshare at disney, and until a few years ago, we always went. After my grandpa died, we went less often. That isn’t important to this story though.
On the last day of vacation, when we were going to the airport to fly back home, i woke up with a brutal stomach ache. The idea of throwing up is what my anxiety is based on, so my dad chalked it up to that. He yelled at me that i needed to toughen up when i wouldnt eat my breakfast, but i knew i was actually gonna throw up, which my dad again called bullshit on, so i ended up choking down a piece of toast and nothing else. (Note: even though my anxiety revolves around me being sick, it doesnt bother me when it actually happens, which I think is weird)
On the bus ride to the airport, i almost threw up twice, but somehow kept it down both times. At this point, my dad luckily wasnt so frustrated with me, but i still didnt wanna deal with him.
Anyway, about 3 hours later, after we went through security and all that, my dad was off doing something (probably getting snacks), and while he was off, i finally threw up on the rug after 3 hours of holding it down. I went to get my dad and told him i threw up, and of course, he didn’t believe me. Once i showed him, he was really nice, and tried to comfort me, but now that im older, im mad at him because i know that he yelled at me thinking i was anxious. (which isnt that unusual for him)
Recently, my mom gave me a really emotional apology for not taking my anxiety as seriously as she shouldve throughout my life, and it almost made me cry. My mom knows that incident still sticks with me a little bit, but she doesnt know its cause my dad thought i was anxious, when i bring it up, she makes the excuse that they didnt know i was sick.
First of all, does anyone else have stories like this? And second of all, should i let my dad know what a dick i think hes been to me during some of my anxiety episodes, or should i just let it go?
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aspergers
|
Howdy,
It's been a buster of a last few weeks for me. Finals, moving to another state for an internship, and a variety of emotions coming up.
The last few weeks I've been feeling rather depersonalized. During my drive over to the new state, I was doing some solo therapy (some memories came up, couldn't really say no to processing them). Anyway, this was a big boy memory, and it came about a realization of feeling unlovable (mom was a dying alcoholic, when I was starting to feel the effects of my trauma in high school and was generally feeling insane, she was always unavailable and I felt pretty intense feelings of isolation). Anyway, I had a humongous cry and felt like I let go of a beast that laid inside my heart for years.
However, I have been feeling insanely raw lately. Like, as if I ripped off a layer of skin from my center chest, and any slight possibility of an issue (like for me, moving to a new city, or having any anxiety), which originally would feel like a flick, sets my mental state nearly on fire.
My initial thought is I removed a knife from my heart and I need to give my body time to heal the wound. If that's the case, anybody have recommendations on how to bear through this period?
Cheers!
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ptsd
|
I spent 4 hours today reading a sentence over and over to see whether or not it had a question mark at the end or a full stop. Don't ask me why. But that's what went on. I've left the house now. I was starting to do well following Dr. Michael Greenberg's advice to literally stop ruminating, as it's the core of OCD. I can't believe I did this today. Time I'll never get back. I am still feeling the effects of the anxiety. Sweating and weak etc
I would rather live with the uncertainty than continue like this. I was starting to fell better, but I guess I need to get back up and continue on with the journey to freedom.
But fffffuuu((((((((kkkkkk!!!!!!
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OCD
|
I went to my family’s thanksgiving last night and i haven’t seen a lot of my family in a long time so I was nervous as fuck. Everyone was happy to see me, or at least appeared to be, and it went well but for some reason I didn’t feel comfortable or like I fit in at all.
It wasn’t until I got home I said that to my girlfriend and she said “is it cause everyone else was happy?” And then I thought about it and everything in my whole life made sense, I’ve struggled with depression for 10 years at least and I’m only 22 and I’ve always felt this uncomfortable sense around other people, because everyone else seems happy and I don’t know how to relate. Does anyone else experience this?
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depression
|
1. Fear of new objects being contaminated with either drugs or harmful stuff?
2. Fake/random scenarios which make you scared of things you are usually not scared of?
3. Thinking something is wrong with you physically and googling/ checking for things all of the time?
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/oftpne)
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OCD
|
I've got my suicide notes written (autoscheduled emails) ready to send to the few people that will need closure. I've got everything planned and a few phone calls to make the night I plan on comitting. I know they won't be happy, but I don't want to be alive any longer.
For more backstory I recently got out of a long-term relationship with my gf. While we weren't meant to be, I feel responsible for her own depression and anxiety. While that may not necessarily be true, she seemed to have gotten worse the longer we were together, hence why I blame myself.
I just wanted to put my thoughts into words in the hope that I could convince myself not to go through with it, although it's looking less likely the more boxes I tick as I approach the end.
I don't need anyone to try and convince me not to go through with it due to hurting loved ones, having more to live for, etc. Trust me, I've thought about all of that and simply don't care.
I just need some company these last few days is all.
Thank you.
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depression
|
Last night I was watching a TV show with a character that pings Aspie for me. The thing I kept noticing - he would start speaking as if already in a conversation. No lead-in, no "start", no preamble. And this is something I noticed right away about my textbook-Aspie co-worker. He just starts...talking to you. he's smart and funny and a really nice guy. I like talking to him, but I can see how it is off-putting to others.
I don't know if I do this myself. Maybe I do. Beginning a conversation with someone (who is not family or a close friend) is just about the most awful part of every day. I have to psych myself up and launch into it. But I am also hyper-aware of 'social niceties' -- those things that don't come naturally to me. So maybe I don't do it too much.
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aspergers
|
Hello ya'll! Recently diagnosed as an adult. I've been put on Methylphenidate ER and Atomoxetine and thats been working well. A close friends birthday is coming up and I need some advice/insight. I was told by my Psych that I shouldn't miss doses of atomoxetine, especially since I am still in the part of the processes where I up the dose each week. Now I don't normally drink so it isn't an issue, but my friend likes to hang at bars and split a round or two of beer and normally I would enjoy that as well. I have a conflict though as I know these meds don't mix well with alcohol, so what do? Have any of you had experience in this realm? I know I can safely skip a day of Methylphenidate but what about the atomoxetine?
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ADHD
|
TW: assault
Got assaulted several times since I was 14, kinda fucked me up. Been diagnosed with PTSD twice, didn't accept the diagnosis either times because of guilt.
Been diagnosed with PTSD at 14, before I was assaulted, it was due to another traumatic experience.
My relationship with sex, intimacy and my body is kind of fucked up. I have meaningless sex with men who I have no interest in, basically triggering myself for the entire next week. I feel detached from the world, I don't understand what's happening. I want it to stop but having to go through therapy is just fucking killing me.
I put up a strong facade whilst at the same time crying in my room alone. My parents think I'm fine, my closest friends think I have a problem and I just wish death would come sooner. If I could get hit by a bus tomorrow I'd take it.
No I won't take my life, but I'm making damn sure I don't want to live it anymore. Thanks for coming to my sob story. Peace.
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ptsd
|
I'm functional like I shower and do stuff but I'm just so sick of this. The overwhelming feeling of pure sadness is so much too bear.
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depression
|
Can anyone relate to harm ocd. I don't want to go into my thoughts on a public forum but looking to DM someone.
What are your experiences.
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OCD
|
Why do I tend to over share very specific details about my trauma and childhood adversities?
I don’t actually understand why I do this and wonder if others do it too(?), it drives me insane when I realize what I have just said to this person that I either know very well or not at all.
Thoughts?
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ptsd
|
So basically I just showed someone a funny gif and now I worry that because I showed them that gif/made fun of the subject something bad (related to the gif) will now happen to me. Is that magical thinking or is there another term for this? Either way, I'd imagine it's a fairly irrational worry. At least I hope lol
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OCD
|
I’m a 20F and have been in advanced math classes my entire life and I’m really good at math, but boy, I did horrible on the math section of my neuropsych test today. It had a bunch of geometry questions and I haven’t don’t geometry in like 5 years. They provided equations but I couldn’t remember what they meant and the doctor wouldn’t tell me what they were used for. I straight up couldn’t finish some problems. I’m wondering why they would even use math questions like these? Knowledge and education differs for everyone. Like why would I be tested on math I don’t know anymore and haven’t used in years? I hope this doesn’t impact my IQ score because that isn’t fair at all.
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ADHD
|
My family particularly don't believe the trauma I've been through yet they expect me to believe their trauma bullshit.
And even telling me there is nothing wrong with me when clearly there is if shouting and yelling bother me and I cannot be around it. I am prone for anger at the littles things.
Certain noises bother me too as well as fears and flashbacks I have.
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ptsd
|
i have to tell this to someone but idk to who anymore. i dont want to worry anyone and i feel like i'm too big of a burden to everyone around me, so i kinda 'run away' and 'hide' (isolate), but then i feel so alone and dont know what to do. also i feel like i'm not fit to do anything except sleep and eat. my work is suffering and i still feel the same way, more and more. i'm so afraid of whats going to happen in the future and will i be able to overcome everything.
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OCD
|
Hello everyone Frist my English is not that good so sorry for grammar mistakes. And second this is going to be a long post.
I suffer from OCD, I had aggressive OCD like thoughts were I kill people or harm them, sexual OCD were I rape woman or something like that. Over the years I was sure I was a bad person and there was something bad inside of me.
Last year when I started Therapy my Therapist suggested that I have a OCD, well for some time everything was okay but then I started to get POCD and oh boy was is bad.
Anyway I want to tell you what helped me to overcome this.
1.) The majority of your thoughts make no sense.
My therapist told me that we humans have 20.000 thoughts per day and science has proved that 80% of them make no sense. So a brain can picture everything even the worst thought. I always thought when you have these thoughts then you will do it or want to do it but that is not true. One Therapist specialised on OCD said that we need to treat the thoughts as that what they are just thoughts nothing dangerous!
2.) The main criteria for P*dophilia.
In Germany lives a sexual therapist who is a expert on the topic of p*edophilia he wrote a book, wich me and my therapist read and in this book the main criteria is “intensive arousal (!) sexual thoughts with children, over a period off six months” if you don’t have that then you are not a p*edophile.
3.) If you are p*dophile you would know that.
People are born with that, it’s starts when they enter into puberty and is finished when they are 16 according to sexual therapist.
4.) What is your sexuality?
I know this is a intimate question. But it helped, when I thought what my sexuality is. Let me ask you did you ever had sex with a person that was in your age and it was arousal and you orgasmed from it well then you are not a p*dophile because they couldn’t do that. Or did you ever watched pornography of adults and found this arousal, if yes then again you are not a p*dophile. You can ask the same question regarding you romantically interest, keep in mind that p*dophiles are only interested in children, if you ever masturbated to a person in your age and it was arousal, then again you are not a p*edophile.
So remember it’s all our OCD, but please if you can afford it go to a therapist that has experience with OCD patients.
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OCD
|
I just wanted to come on here and say how proud I am of every single one of you. You may feel exhausted and defeated (I know I sure do), but you continue to battle this monster. You are literally fighting the 5th most debilitating disease and you are still going!!! I appreciate every one of you. You are so loved!
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OCD
|
I am thinking about what happened the disaster the fire. It got brought up unexpectedly around people I don’t know well at all. And I feel as if I’m gonna throw up. I hate ptsd it fucks me up. It makes broken and weird and unwelcome.
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ptsd
|
And while I personally did benefit from it as I was a lot safer in the units than in my dorms, and I even got access to immediate antidepressants and therapy free of charge while they work with me to find something more sustainable, I can't shake the feeling that it doesn't really matter in the end.
Nearly everyone on my floor knows about why I left and where I went for a few days, and even though some of them expressed their kindness (while some were just being extra nice), I feel like it doesn't really matter in the end. I already damaged my grades (I'm currently taking a break from reading the book that I was supposed to have read a while ago \[didn't have the money; no free version I saw\]) to the point that I'll probably lose my scholarship and make the already hard to afford tuition even more hard. And I found my current job too late. Even if I were to save everything and only spend money on ramen, I still don't have enough to cover tuition, let alone dorm fees (which are significantly cheaper than any apartment here) for this upcoming spring semester. I even went to do a shift just a few hours after I was discharged to still try and keep up. While time felt like it stopped in the hospital and I was just lost in thought, all the lost time is catching up and I'm still powerless to really do anything about it. I'm not even particularly excited about the therapy sessions because, to me, it is just another set of responsibilities that I have to do on top of the already strenuous list I have. Strenuous to me, anyway. Realistically, I only have school and part time work, but having to regularly brush my teeth, floss, eat food, drink water, take a shower, take a pill at a specific time, maintaining your room, go to school on time, do homework, go to work, go back home, and even just making your bed seems nearly impossible. Nowadays if I go to school, I usually don't brush my teeth or eat anything or make my bed; I just go to sleep in the outfit I plan on wearing the next day so I can just get up and get out. On the days I go to work later in the day and night, I ought to be doing homework, but whether out of laziness or something else grabbing my attention, I just don't. I usually just eat a donut before work and, I generally forget about dinner until it already too late. Then I wake up too late, so I miss breakfast and generally lunch. I very rarely have days where I don't both go to school or go to work, and on those days I just lay around. Today was the first day I made dinner for myself, and I couldn't even finish it since I just wasn't that hungry (whether because of the antidepressants, or something else); it's so disappointing because I'm insecure about my weight, but I feel incapable of changing it. I'm encouraged to be social as much of my strife comes from my loneliness, but to be social requires opening yourself up for failure. Most days, it doesn't seem like a worth while trade off. I just end up either putting on a show to keep people around, or failing and bringing down the atmosphere and push people away. I think now that they know that I've been suicidal, they're much more tolerant and try being kind, but I honestly don't feel like I really deserve it. It shouldn't be their responsibility to tend to my feelings, nor should they feel the need to include me in their gatherings, but I usually end up feeling confused when they try. I try to do my best to ensure that everyone is accounted for, and they do gratefully acknowledge it, but I make it impossible to allow them to reciprocate for reasons unknown to me. There isn't a malevolent voice in my head telling me I don't deserve consideration, but just like how one may feel guilty for receiving expensive gifts, receiving the same kindness I may put out feels like incurring an impossible debt. Sometimes, I feel like a bad person for even attempting to create bonds with people, as if I were to kill myself, I'd violently and irrevocably rip that connection apart and leave them to deal with the consequences. It's presumptuous to believe anyone really cares to the extent that my parting would injure them, but it still worries me
|
depression
|
TW: self harm, anxiety attack, nervous crisis.
Well, I quite don't understand the term meltdown; and I've seen it here a lot. is it related to a panic or anxiety attack?
when I was in high school, I remember this day in which we had to give an oral presentation for my history class. well, I learned about the topic and memorized what I was about to say line by line. it was a project in teams. moments before my turn arrived, I started feeling a loooot of anxiety, so I tried to take three deep breaths, but that made things quite worse. it was my turn to speak, and I made it to half of what I was about to say. but then... I started to repeat phrases. it was like "th,th,the;ttthe mm, thee mmo..." so I put on the hood of my sweatshirt, turned around and stare at the wall while laughing nervously. then I ran across the place and found myself in one of the windows, it was closed so I did a little stimming with my nails like as if I was playing the piano, it was the major scale over and over again, in tables, chairs, the blackboard, etc. I also remember (TW) scratching my arms, face; ankles and neck harshly, having long nails because of guitar playing did not help. the teacher approached me and tried to calm me down. I went to the nursery, and there they just gave me water.
about an hour later (when the rest of the expositions ended) I came back to the classroom and a lot of people asked me if I was okay, they said that I couldn't stop crying, but I don't remember that part of tears falling down my face.
This was one of the worst experiences I've ever lived, I'm pretty sure it is considered an anxiety attack, but is it a meltdown as I've been reading? could you please describe a meltdown experience?
also the teacher was compassionate and gave my team a good note :).
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aspergers
|
It helps with anhedonia and brain damage apperently this is not a suggestion for use, I am simply looking to see if anyone has experience with it and what it was.
|
ptsd
|
Recently, some of things I imagine can actually be quite uplifting like having a good conversation with my mom. I’m hoping over time I have more of these scenarios and less of the ones that are frightening to me.
|
OCD
|
I was walking and almost 20 meters distance, I saw a man wearing a yellow t-shirt. He drew my attention but I cant remember for how long I was watching him. Maybe it was just a second?
I looked away while walking to his direction and when looked again,the man was gone. there were 2 ways he may have gone so I hurried to the spot to check. He was nowhere to be found. Maybe he fastly entered an apartment building?
What puzzles me is that I cant clearly remember if the man was standing or was walking. its as if I never saw him but i felt as if I saw him. I cant remember how long I looked away. I would say something between 1-3 seconds.
I started wondering if it was a glitch in the matrix and that triggered my ocd. I started taking photos of the area to show it to my friends and discuss it through cisco.
That triggered my ocd. I started worrying that by taking pictures or maybe even by talking about this event, I maybe angered the Gods of the simulation system (if we are in one).
So, now I have intrusive thoughts about an hypothetical punishment by the Gods of the simulation system just because I may have witnessed a glitch in the system.
Where did that man go? Did I really see him? was it an hallculation? What if I angered Gods? I feel angry with myself or my luck for witnessing such a thing (wether the man vanished or not) because I was feeling better from my ocd and then this happened.
|
OCD
|
been scared to masturbate due to contamination
usually do it in the shower then I have this huge ritual, it’s been getting smaller and smaller now though. went from washing hair and body like 52848929394838 times to just 1-2 times for hair and body.
today I though let me see if I could do it without taking a shower, I was close but as I was cleaning up I started getting those thoughts and I gave up.
gonna wash my bed and take a shower + disinfect phone.
maybe next time.
however today I did make a step
towards getting better: usually I >need< to take a shower right after waking up, before touching anything, but today I didn’t take a shower and I went to my computer
mainly just worried about getting someone pregnant and how everything I touch is contaminated with sperm or something. yeah I know it’s a pretty silly thought but it’s all over my mind
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OCD
|
I used to have a friend I was getting false attractions on, I was again experiencing false atttacrions but less, and I was like if I had sex with him would I be top or bottom and I thought bruh I’d be top I’m not a girl bro and I didn’t even feel any sort of arousal but I got some anxiety after thinking about it but when I look at my friend he is just a friend I guess, like I thought of it deliberately but I was like thinking of stuff with him as a compulsion and I guess it back fired. I wasn’t even mentally or physically aroused is this ocd or no (I have had hocd for several years but this was like a deliberate thought tho it didn’t arouse me neither did I have any desire to act on this cuz it’s just weird)
|
OCD
|
Long story short: I've been dragging a lot of issues along with me for the past 5+ years- severe trauma, personal failures, losses, etc... I'm decent at using coping strategies to get myself through momentary situations, but then the baggage just seems to flood back in. I had a bit of a realization today in therapy that I actually have no idea how to really process things like this, which is why I still drag them around with me. I meditate, which helps me feel better for a bit, but then the next little thing that happens might set me off into a spin out. I work out, which absolutely helps with my depression and is a great way to blow off frustration/anger. But it just ends up always feeling like a band-aid, and I can't spend my life working out to address my issues.
I have some ideas on where to start now: journaling by hand (with gratitude points), writing music, doing some hobby work, even leaving voicemails for myself to listen back to. These seem like decent places to maybe start but I'm sure there are some other methods out there that might work well for me. I also figure that there have to be some other people out there like me who aren't processing and who might not realize it just yet.
So, how do you guys process the things that trouble you? What works?
Thank you.
|
depression
|
*No matter
I got out of a long distance very very abusive relationship with someone who I suspect is a narcissist. I always labeled myself to be in the asexual spectrum because I honestly don't have a lot of sexual attraction. My ex conditioned me to be a sexual object he demanded nudes any time anywhere, said he needed me to be ready at all times and made comments such as "it's mine and I'll take it when i want it". When he discarded me I went into shock which gave me a psychotic episode (I'm bipolar) not sure if you've heard about this but these people literally throw people away with no warning or closure once they're not good for them anymore it was very traumatizing. I began to hallucinate things and was in a very very bad state of mind. After a while of me spamming him and trying to get him to talk to me all he replied was "Would you do anything to get me to stay with you?" followed by a "make me feel good then" he told me he wanted me to be his sex object and he coerced me into doing things he knew I wasn't comfortable with by telling me that he'll give me another chance. I wasn't in the right state to consent I just wanted the pain to stop. He ended up throwing me away anyways. I felt so gross and dirty. I ended up trying to take my life because of how used I felt. When I got out I confronted about it and he slut shamed me and said I asked for it.
A few weeks later he manipulated me into giving him another chance and I was very traumtized and hypersexual and he took advantage of that. Things got worse and he abused me more until I finally found out that he was cheating on me all year. I have come to terms with the fact that it wasn't my fault and he's just a horrible person. But no matter what I do I still feel like a slut, like an object like someone who is only meant to please. I have not been coping with this good at all I have self harmed my breasts and I cry every time I look at my body. I'm currently doing EMDR with my therapist but I just want to stop feeling like trash all the time.
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ptsd
|
A couple months back I experienced TOCD worse thing I ever went through but now that I'm experiencing IOCD Im actually wishing I could go back to that time because atleast then it only affected me and didn't affect my family but now OCD has cut where it hurts me deepest my life is now confusion depression anxiety and anger and the People I relied on the people who cheered me up have been tarnished in my mind and the worse part? It was getting better. But then I got triggered again an back to damn square one I ACTUALLY HATE OCD I WISH I COULD PULL IT OUT OF MY BODY AND BLUDGEON IT I WANT IT TO EXPERIENCE TRIPPLE THE PAIN ITS CAUSED ME
|
OCD
|
I was a happy and social kid with many friends when I was about 10. During that time I was tested negative for ADHD and Autism.
Now at the age of 26 Im very antisocial, anxious and only have a few friends who I almost never talk to. I was tested positive for both ADD and Aspergers.
Is it something you can develop with time?
|
aspergers
|
I never manage to properly get some days off because i
"struggle" to actually plan my vacation. My boss pays out my unused days but you realy burn yourself out if you dont think about your wellbeing and i realy need to get a contiousness that I NEED to relax sometimes and think about me and not anyone else. Hope i can finally
relax and get some things done (probaly not :'))
|
ADHD
|
Does anyone else really struggle with relationships? I went on a date last night and it was really triggering, even though they seemed ok. I really want to just give up on it all permanently..
|
ptsd
|
Hi so some background information first, I have a combined personality disorder with depression, anxiety and emotional instability. I am having depression issues for half my (27f) life and taking meds for over 10 years now.
My current episode started in the end of 2019, I have been in stationary therapy last year and in rehab this year, but it seems like I just do not recover from this depression.
I am at the point now, that I am more and more tired of my life. I am not able to work, lost my phd position and literally can not do anything. My sleep rythm is awful. I do not know how to carry on. I am not getting better while staying at home.
Since I am becoming suicidal my therapist wants to talk to me tomorrow about another hospitalisation. And there seems to be my problem, I do not know if it is a kind of fear or else, but some part of me does not want to go back into that hospital. There have not been any bad experiences or something like that, the people there were great and really helpful, I even found some friends.
I am so stuck, in the depression, in my situation, in my own thoughts. I do not know how to stay alive. I married this year, I should be happy, but I am not. I just dont want to live anymore.
Sorry for the long text, I just needed a vent
|
depression
|
What dosage did you notice relief on ruminating intrusive thoughts? Curious!
|
OCD
|
I can relate to some common obsessions/compulsions, like hand-washing and lock-checking. But some other random ones make me feel alone. Does anyone have less common shit they do from their OCD that they can share?
And/or is this even OCD?
I’ve always felt like most of my compulsions don’t necessarily have an obsession behind them, I just FEEL that I have to do it and feel gross if I don’t.
For months or maybe even a year I’ve had the recurring compulsion to do everything on the left. Like I’ll be playing a video game and only place items on the left side of my screen. I’ll be scrolling to someone’s TikTok profile and only watch the videos on the left, or even get wild and do the middle column, but can’t get myself to tap them if they’re on the right. When I drive I try to do things to feel more “pressure” on the left like, avoid hitting speed bumps with my right tires. So far nothing dangerous has happened, but it’s scary and obviously super upsetting when it’s not possible to satisfy this need.
|
OCD
|
I'm in Southern California and recently switched to Kaiser (husband's job). Of course I have to meet with a psychiatrist because Kaiser won't transfer my ADHD meds (Adderall) over from my previous doctor and pharmacy that I've been taking for 10 months.
I was finally able to get in (via Telehealth) to a psychiatrist and sent her over my official diagnosis, RX history, intake forms - everything. She refused to continue prescription and instead put me on Lexapro - stated she wouldn't prescribe me Adrl until I've been on Lexapro for over a month.
During this first appointment, she asked me a couple questions and pretty much chalked it up to me having anxiety. (Which I don't btw - any anxiety I may have stems from ADHD inattentive). She was so dismissive even when I referenced all my symptoms from my childhood to now. To me, it's a pretty clear textbook case.
Fast forward to today and I have my second appointment, thinking she be more probing in her questions or at least ask me if there is anything I need to discuss. Nope - all she did was ask how Lexapro was doing (I do not notice any change at all, except it makes me drowsy). Then she put in for a refill of it and scheduled my next appointment in 6 weeks.
That's it - the whole appointment took less than 5 minutes! Am I missing something? Is this typical of a psychiatrist MD? or am I confusing a psychiatrist with a psychologist?
I have now been without Addrl (that I had been on for 10 months) since Sept. I'm thinking of just going with Done ADHD or Cerebral since I can't afford to pay out of pocket to go back to my old doctor.
|
ADHD
|
I am applying for a British citizenship. I've been here for 7 years and working full time, speaking English all the time, and I think I'm not bad at it. But I have to pass an English test. And it's really stressing me out because this is a talking/listening exam, where some of the things I will have to do are: repeat a long-ass sentence, retell a story in my own words, hear a story and answer questions about it etc.
The level is really low and I've always been good at foreign languages, English and German were my favourite subjects at school and even the teachers said I was the best in the class, so it's not an issue of me sucking at the language.
As per the topic I have issues with audio processing. Even in my own language I feel like I would have issues with this exam. I always watch TV with subtitles and I'm not a good talker - I stutter a lot and have trouble forming a coherent sentence at times, especially when stressed. I'm much, much better at writing.
I'm not even officially diagnosed yet, been waiting for ages for an assessment so won't be able to use this as some sort of cop-out, don't even know if it would be possible anyway.
Just need advice on how to do this.
|
aspergers
|
I'm a screenwriter director and I'm currently working on my feature filme but I'm struggling to remain consistent with my progress - specially struggling with ADHD.
I'm looking to improve my work and life habits. I'm wondering if anyone want to do weekly meeting to share strategies, progress, frustrations, goals, success. I'm thinking one hour video meeting (half for each) where we can discuss what we would like to do during the week and share things we accomplished from the previous week. Also talk things we were not able to do - without judgment.
I feel I'm way more motivated to do things If I can share my progress with someone. At the same time I feel that my friends without ADHD don't really "get it". I think they would be judgmental about the things I consider progress (such as brushing my teeth everyday or replying to an email).
Anyone interested?
|
ADHD
|
So lately a traumatic event has happened to me. It was really hard on me. So now, I have moments where I think about the trauma. Then I get so deep into what happened I zone out. And I’m living in that trauma. And when I snap out of it I don’t see or hear anything around me. Like I’m asleep. Anybody relate? Help
|
ptsd
|
Needing some guidance,going through a really hard trigger right now. This week has been an eye opener. I found out a family betrayal and rid of my 2 abusers after 27 years of taking my innocent. Just need some advice and guidance on how to relax.
|
ptsd
|
I regularly convince myself that meds are bad and I don’t need them. So I take a day off and have caffeine. Caffeine makes me actually feel awful and then I’m reminded my meds are actually helping me (like keeping me sane and focused) Why do I keep doing this stupid cycle😂😂 just posting this so I don’t forget!
|
ADHD
|
Hi! Long-time lurker, first-time poster to this subreddit.
tl;dr - spent more time being looked after by day-cares than my home, dealt with some fucked up things and I'm not sure what to do or if it's even worthy of direct help. Looking for advice.
I've been seeing a therapist for general anxiety, OCD and depression, as well as treating ADHD and some learning disabilities. I have no idea how to breech this subject with my therapist because I feel like I've already dumped a bunch on her and I feel like I'm just asking for attention at this point.
Basically, I have a specific old memory from my childhood that haunts me every single day. I was a military kid of a single mom, and spent a lot of time away from her and was looked after by babysitters, was placed in daycares, etc. I don't resent her at all - I love my mom with everything I have! She was my whole world and still is. It was very difficult to have to be separated from her and I wound up in the care of mean or neglectful babysitters and a few day-cares where I had some gross encounters. TW details to follow:>!I know I was sexually abused by a handful of older kids several times at a particular day-care (Mom DID learn about this and tried to do something but didn't/couldn't pull me out of the daycare), and I know I had a minor situation happen with a cousin during a period my mother wasn't mentally well and they were visiting/looking after me (Mom DOESN'T know about this, I don't want to tell her). The memory that TRULY haunts me during this period of my life is from a particular babysitter's home. We (4-5 other kids) were left alone all the time in the babysitter's basement. There was another child who was 2 or 3 that they looked after, and he fatally abused several of the babysitter's pets while we were left alone. I was 5 or 6 and could do nothing but watch. I blocked it out until I was 10 and owned a pet - that's when I'd say it truly began to haunt me. I didn't tell my mother until a few weeks ago, and I was even more vague talking about it than I'm being here.!<
I pushed this event aside as an intrusive thought and told myself it was nothing more, but it HAUNTS me. DAILY. It feels like I'm there. For a split second I hear things, I feel things, I see everything, it takes over my vision, my bones, my guts, I feel physically and emotionally for the animals. I gasp, I plug my ears, I cry, I panic. At home alone or in public, on the bus, at work. And it loops like my other intrusive thoughts. I think about it once and it takes minutes or hours to cool off. When things IRL remind me of it (area carpets, certain animals, roadkill, certain gestures), it's like I'm FORCED to think about it again. I'm freaking my husband out with it lately, I know. I had to open up to him about it recently because it flaired up a few weeks ago and I was crying in bed and it was torture because it is so incredibly difficult to talk about it.
Subconsciously I know a lot of my current issues are because I was left alone with strangers so much as a child and I kept a lot of went on from my mom when I could. Compared to other people's stories I feel ashamed posting here looking for direction, and as badly as I'd like to talk to my therapist about this, I don't know if it's worth it. It's not like she can do anything about the memory itself, right? It's not like my other intrusive thoughts that are purely fictional. This is something that happened and nothing can change it. But I can't handle this plaguing me anymore.
I want help and I have no idea if THIS is even the best place to start.
I appreciate any advice. Thanks so much if you read the whole thing and hope it's okay to post this.
|
ptsd
|
I’ve been depressed since I was around twelve for multitude of reasons like getting raped, losing most of my friends, never opening up, etc. Every time I feel like I’m getting better or if anything good happens mentally I kill it. I want to feel sad, numb, etc. I want my mental well-being to get worse. Why am I like this?
|
depression
|
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