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Some of the friends I like to hang out with on the weekends take adderall for fun. If we go to a concert or are doing something instead of just chilling they’ll take adderall together. They’ve offered it to me multiple times and I always say “no I’m good I hate taking that crap unless I have to in order to focus.” My mind is always blown whenever they take it for fun because it affects them differently, whenever I take it I feel like a zombie.
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ADHD
|
I have 6 years of experience in my job and in that time I became the face of the business. I was in our ads, taught all the classes, was paid to travel the country for business and instructional seminars, and have impacted the lives of hundreds. This place also made me into the person I am today. I went 18 months without leaving the house because of anxiety and agoraphobia. I joined and this job helped me lose 70 pounds and overcome those demons. I am a radically different person and am deeply indebted to the owner, students, and instructors for my progress.
Recently, I lost my role as head instructor. The owner responsible for building me up so much went through a stress in his life and the problems I tried to ignore for years were magnified. He began micromanaging everything I did and the positive attitude I had finally broke. I've willingly put in large amounts of unpaid overtime nearly every week for three years. I've willingly avoided taking more than one vacation day off a year because I don't want to burden anyone. I've responded to every one of his nearly daily "off the clock" messages that never seem to miss a holiday or fail to wake me up at 6 am. I said yes to everything for years and his indecisiveness and constant changes in strategy caught up to him and I took the blame for following his orders. I finally woke up to his narcissism after I made an announcement I knew would result in a small number of members being temporarily unhappy and he blew up on a Saturday night. He strongly suggested for months we cancel our lowest-attended class that was only an extra-training session and when I made the post, he sent walls of text to all of us staff chastising me for it and publicly posted that I was unauthorized to make that post. He had the balls to say what I wrote was not even "discussed" which is absolutely false. He freaked out over the three disappointed reactions to it and I was moved to part-time on our next meeting and I am now training my replacement.
That was the last straw in a long timeline against me he has been building for months. He also exploded on me over our overall class schedule. We've changed the class schedule at least once a year since I started and that has never been done by me. He got angry that the schedule (that he made) was way too confusing and the root of our student retention problems. He blamed me for the scheduling of our most popular class that he acted surprised to discover was at the time it was when it's been almost a full year since we began our current schedule that he set. My only role was in editing the document we had printed which accurately reflected what we were teaching.
He has also asked us to change what we teach and our curriculum about every 3 months since I began. I have formatted hundreds of pages of our curriculum with just as many unfinished before he asked me to switch what I taught again. Every time we switch, he acts surprised and frustrated at me for his changes.
Thanksgiving time last year, he asked me to make a post saying we were closed for the holiday and taking a few additional days off in consideration of our area's general uneasiness with COVID numbers but secretly me along with all other staff members had it. I made the post exactly how he wanted. My mistake was attaching a simple stock image to go along with it saying "We're closed, but still awesome!". That photo sent him into a meltdown and he sent me half a dozen texts on how I am going to ruin his business because that photo would give the public the impression we're closed for COVID (?). Then he called me saying the same thing. Then he sent another dozen texts saying the same thing again. I literally begged him to have mercy in the middle of the night for including a stock image that I instantly deleted.
I never went an hour without thinking about my job. I can not hold a conversation that does not include martial arts. I do not have friends or a close family, this job was that for me. I dropped out of school for this. I have blindly put up with years of this disrespect towards me and been a slave to my dream career for only $24,000 a year.
I made this job my life. I said yes to everything and never wanted to risk making anyone unhappy. I make it all sound bad but I stayed for as long as I have because the owner along with everyone else has changed my life for the better. The owner is charismatic, inspirational, and relentlessly driven for success, and always preached how the academy's success would be our success. Outside of class, I have watched his kids, personally trained with him hundreds of times, traveled the country with him on half a dozen business and training trips, and learned everything I knew about martial arts from him. I am depressed that it's all coming to an end how it is.
I am not respected by him. His patience for me is gone and what we've built over so many years is now broken. This was my dream career and I literally did not see myself leaving for anywhere else up until I was moved to part-time over making that class cancelation announcement recently. I will not lose my highly-driven attitude over this. I will never work for free again though. I will better stand up for myself when attacked over my decision-making and actions. I will always have a "plan-B' career so I have the freedom to leave when staying is harmful to my mental health and professional growth. I will not let anyone take advantage of my positive attitude.
I created my first resume and applied for my first job ever. I initially planned to secure a better job before resigning but this is just too much. I liked it. I was good at it. I felt alive. But despite my growth here, staying in this environment has trade-offs I wasn't even aware I was making. I have gone back and forth for two weeks now but the decision is clear, I need to leave.
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depression
|
Some say it helps to relieve some of their symptoms, others say it makes their impulsivity and absent mindedness far worse.
I find that having 2 or 3 drinks is alright, possibly even helpful, but any more than that and all the symptoms of my ADHD inattentiveness get exacerbated - and the next day when I'm hungover I'm practically useless.
Plus I'm even less inhibited so I can easily offend people, which leads me to become a bit anxious when I drink, which defeats the purpose of it.
How does it effect you guys?
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ADHD
|
Hi guys. Life has been incredibly stressful lately. A few days before turning 23, I ended up in hospital for suspected heart related problems, due to extreme levels of stress and taking on way too much. Luckily I'm fine, but I wrote an article to explain more about my recent state of mind, events, and my future.
https://medium.com/c0symag/the-illusion-of-high-functioning-depression-1a6a24ea5daa
I think I have c-PTSD, as these symptoms and traits explain me better than any other previous mental illness. I am definitely scarred by past events which I don't really remember too well, and it's been scary to admit this all to myself.
We often talk about mental illness, but we only really talk about the 'common' ones like anxiety, depression, etc. But things like PTSD and schizophrenia are often seen as less fashionable and scary to talk about. Just because someone seems totally fine, incredibly productive, they can also be suffering on the inside. Peace n love x
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ptsd
|
After struggling with depression from trauma and other things that are just to complicated to explain in a post. I’ve always battled with ending my own life, all the way back as a young teen. I’ve attempted, I’ve been stopped by family members, more than once. I’ve self admitted.
But now…
Now I’m seeing the the other side. What happened when some actually goes through with it. I can’t even begin to explain what people go through, people that don’t even show emotion suddenly breaking down. Families quietly trying to decide what to do.
The spouse, my best friend. I signed their marriage license and now I’m holding her even though it’s now me she wants.
The fucking pets. Even the dogs are crying out for him.
They guarded him…after
If this can make anyone rethink their decision, because it’s making me.
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depression
|
Hey ya'll! I was recently diagnosed with ADHD-PI during a 1-hour psych consultation, courtesy of my school's EAP. At the end of the appointment, we agreed to discuss medication options at the follow-up with the exception of stimulants, which my psychiatrist does not like to prescribe. However at the follow-up, my psychiatrist seemed to forget that she even diagnosed me and promised to discuss medication. Within five minutes at the end of the appointment, after much confusion, I gained the confidence to remind her, and I told her Strattera/atomoxetine seemed promising, and she prescribed it.
I want to seek a second opinion. After my lukewarm experience, I want to see someone who also sees children and explicitly specializes in ADHD and thus is most likely to have been exposed to many forms of ADHD. If I do have ADHD, I also want to see someone who would be open to prescribing stimulants, as I've heard it is a first-line medication to try first and later seek alternatives if needed. The only psychiatrist I could find with these qualifications is an out-of-network provider. I would be able to afford the appointments needed for diagnosis (1 to 3), but I definitely would not be able to afford any medication follow-ups.
Would it be worth going to this psychiatrist at all if I can't afford medication follow-ups? If the psychiatrist prescribes me another type of medication, would it be difficult for my PCP or perhaps an in-network psychiatrist to prescribe this knowing that it is the other psychiatrist's recommendation?
TLDR: Seeking a second opinion on a recent ADHD-PI diagnosis from an out-of-network psychiatrist and wondering if it's worth paying for the initial consultation when I would not be able to afford any medication follow-ups
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ADHD
|
I've never been professionally seen(I've tried but it just never worked out). I can't say that I have ptsd or what is wrong with me but I didn't know where else to go.
My mother died 2 years ago. It was unexpected. She had cancer but was doing very very well. One day she just didn't wake up. 2 months later my sister was in a fatal car crash and died. I've been up and down and all sorts of everywhere struggling with anxiety, depression, even suicidal thoughts. But I feel like I am in a better place now. Things are going well and I feel okay.
But over the past month I've been having severe flashbacks. I'll be laying in bed and out of nowhere I'm at the grocery store holding my phone and hearing the words "she was in an accident, she didn't make it". Or I'll be driving and suddenly my mind changes to my boyfriend sitting me on the couch, telling me while I was gone he went into mom's room to wake her.. And she didn't wake up. Every detail of those moments are tattooed into my mind but it plays out so vividly. Having those strange flashbacks were normal for awhile but they would happen far in between. I used to have nightmares very regularly as well. But that all finally slowed down.
But now these flashbacks are coming back and when it happens it sends me into a panic and I feel like they're dying all over again and I'm helpless to do anything. I get sick. I don't understand why this is happening again. For the most part I have felt so happy with my life lately.
I guess I just thought I was over this part of the trauma and now I'm concerned my mental health will go downhill the way it did before...
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ptsd
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I'm currently missing my first spot in college class enrollment because I missed the email where my advisor wanted to meet with me.
This isn't the first time something like this has happened. I miss emails all the time.
Anyone got any advice?
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aspergers
|
I have not been doing well, especially with covid, it has been hard to turn in work. Pay attention. And even remember that I have work to do, let alone do it. And its like I am constantly frozen but my brain keeps yelling at me to do stuff. And I am afraid to talk to my professors because I don't know how to properly explain it and ask for things because I don't want to sound lazy and I don't know how whatvi even need. I am losing my mind and I feel like I can no longer do anything but I want to. I haven't showered in a week and I haven't turned in an assignment in one class in a month.
What do I say? How do I stop spiraling?
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ADHD
|
For about a year, my life I’ve been dealing with nonstop intrusive and ruminative religious thoughts, since I’ve been thinking about leaving my religious/culture for good.
But since I was raised in such a religious and conservative home, I have trouble distinguishing between “my thoughts” and the thoughts I have that were because of my religious upbringing.
For example, in my religion “marrying out” or assimilating is a huge sin and is considered genocide and that was always instilled into me by my parents. So know when I find myself dating girls who are not of my faith I get nonstop thoughts telling me that I’m doing something wrong and that I’m committing genocide.
My cousin is, are these nonstop ruminative thoughts “mine”? Are the thoughts that I have when I am completely calm (where I don’t care about religious dogma) the real me?
How do I know which thoughts are mine and which aren’t?
FYI, I have been seeing a therapist for about a year.
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OCD
|
Hey there,
depression and anxiety sufferer here. I have tried dozens of medication. Experience Reports about Clomipramine are rare. I would really love to hear from someone who tried it out... Did you benefit from it regarding depression and anxiety. Please help
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OCD
|
I like studying more when I read a textbook slowly. I hate studying when I have to scan through words. Is it okay to be a slow reader?
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aspergers
|
Its been like it for a year now even though it is better now due to restrictions being lifted. I go to uni and it takes my mind off it for a bit but as soon as i go back to my room it all just sets in again. This feeling i cant really describe like hopelessness no matter what i do its always there in my mind, music is the only thing keeping me going at this point and my family. I have one friend who ive known since we were kids and thats the only friend ive ever had in my life and we dont even talk much anymore seeing as we both went to different unis.
I have a "friend" at uni and then another guy who we both talk to. They are always going out and doing things and i dont think ive once been invited. i just want someone to talk to. I have no idea how to make friends and even when i am around other people it feels like there's a barrier around me from connecting with anyone. Feel like such an outcast.
I dont think ive ever had friends were we just hang out and chat or go round to each others house casually always see posts about people hanging out and stuff. I cant talk to people either feel like im trapped like this forever. Anyway feels good to say something and type it out here.
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depression
|
I have no real social life, so I make up for my lack of networking and social skills by trying my best at things society deems important that don't involve much social interaction. I try really hard to be a good employee at my part time job. I do everything to a T and the management has praised me for it much. At school I falter sometimes, but my grades are pretty good and my counselor and teachers think of me as a hard worker. I'm not trying to brag, because it isn't all roses and candy. I have no real social life and no real desire for other people, so I substitute it with hard work and a drive to learn now things. (Inside and outside of school) I'm curious if I'm not the only one that does this. Is this a common coping mechanism for ASD people?
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aspergers
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Trigger warning? Idk. Don’t want to set anyone off here. I thought it would be interesting to hear what other people have to deal with.
Here’s a few of mine:
When I am grabbing from a stack of paper plates, I can only take the second from the top.
When I’m driving in the car, I have to tense my legs and butt when going over shadows. Like I am “jumping” over the shadows.
I cannot sit on fabric furniture in other peoples houses. Leather is ok.
I want to note that I have worked through a lot of these (exposure therapy). I’m not perfect but I’m much better than before. So hang in there peoples;)
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OCD
|
Hey, one theme from my OCD has been reverting back to my past self who was immature, rude, angry, and unable to form my own opinions.
This specific theme has been a looming storm cloud for a year now. Its kept me from listening to music I haven't heard since the past, as well as games and food. Smells, TV shows, and pretty much anything contributes to this kind of thing.
I recently found a food item that I've been looking for for years but haven't had since I was at a different self. If anyone can confirm that they've done this with no side effects it would be appreciated. Hearing people say thing has been my best solution to this, however I would appreciate if it were genuine and not said as a form of pity.
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OCD
|
my ERP therapist recommended watching tv or films that are related to my themes so i've been watching Nathan for You. Watching Nathan suggest bad ideas and work to embarrass himself and others makes me absolutely want to crawl out of my skin but I think it helps ahahaha. I'd suggest it if you have any harm, embarrassment, or failure themes. There is some actually objectionable content in there (some sexist and racist microaggressions) so know that going in if that's something that hits more personally.
are there any shows or other content you guys consume for desensitization?
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OCD
|
I met my girlfriend when we where 17 and we broke up just as we both turned 19. I was super shy as I went to all an all boys high school and met her at a charity program.
She was the first to kiss me and the first to push us having sex and she never showed any sign of me making her uncomfortable. But after seeing stuff in the news about sexual assult my ocd attached itself to my time with her. Mainly there where times I wanted somthing from her and would ask once or twice and she would do it. She woudl stay stuff like I just did my makeup or somthing like that but I asked again and she would do it.
I was never violent or angry or anything I would just ask more than once. She told me when we broke up she enjoyed her time with me and the physical aspect and often she would push to get physical.
I also had a habbit of Kissing her randomly thinking it was romantic, she always kissed back and enjoyed me being dominat but I'm scared again this was assult. Basically there where times I had to ask more than once or talked to her about it. I dont think is was super pushy but I did do these things.
I'm scared me asking again and other stuff was me being abusive. My ocd is twisting my memeories since it was so long ago and I feel awful.
Seeing all the bad stuff in media and how hated these people are my OCD puts me in there shoes and I dont know if I am or not.
I'm so sick of feeling like a monster everyday.
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OCD
|
New to the scene here and putting it all together. Google says OCD was discovered in 1838 but a thought i had was if it existed in the world before language and money and society what do you think the illness would feel like? im talking about cavemen. A lot of my obsessions come as feelings of anxiety but the intrusive thought aspect and after they are indulged is all in english so i wonder how that part would be involved.
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OCD
|
It struck me the other day that I might be in the minority. I was saying to my husband how much I’m missing it at the moment and he said “really? I keep thinking about what could go wrong...”
Lots of people fly without fear but still find it a pain in the ass, whether it’s the cost, the time you spend hanging around, endless queuing, or anxiety around having the right paperwork or whether you can take this-or-that through security. Then on the plane, feeling hemmed-in, worrying about being sat next to an irritable toddler for the whole flight, airline food.
But I LOVE it. Checking in online, choosing your seat, going to the car park and getting the shuttle, dropping off your bag at the desk, going through security, duty free shops, waiting excitedly for the gate to be announced. Then there’s being on the plane! All the announcements, taxi-ing round the runway, the WHOOSH of take-off, the in-flight magazines, sitting quietly and reading my book.
I think it must be the predictability of it. All the rules, go-here-then-go-here-then-do-this, the efficiency of the big airports I’ve been through, going somewhere I’m excited to go to. I’ve even been delayed before and it’s not bothered me.
Just me?
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aspergers
|
Today I told my bf that I was being overstimulated a bit by him just doing couple spanks, or idk how to word it well just like casual little spanks (u know what I mean) around the apartment and he said " why are you overstimulated by that?" And I say "because of the physical sensation". He then gets emotional and says that I usually have a "reason for being overstimulated. I said that I don't understand what he meant, and that my reasoning for being overstimulated was solely because of the physical touch, it was just a bit much tonight. He doesn't believe me it seems. Isn't it a reason in itself, being overstimulated by physical touch? Or am I in the wrong here? Another thing to note: When my bf says that I usually have a reason, this is the reasoning. I am confused. Please help, looking for another persons two sense.
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aspergers
|
Saw a tiktok about just sorting your clothes into bins instead of folding and putting then away. I started hanging my clothes cuz folding was too much. Then saw that and had my adhd son do this. Just sort them into drawers. Huge difference. Does anyone have anything like this for other tasks?? I'm looking for any sort of tips or tricks to do basic tasks like cleaning or shower or exercises. Literally anything that you do that isn't necessarily the "normal" way but actually helps. I'm in dire need of help myself lol.
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ADHD
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What I mean is my mind doesnt seem to be okay that if something no longer exists or a look of a person growing that no longer exists my mind don’t seem to be okay with it help me
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OCD
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Can we just get a fuck you in chat to that week before you get your period and your OCD goes haywire? Fuck fuck fuck fuck! My brain is breaking and I know why its because of my PMS and my OCD doing a little dancy dance together and I wanna put my fist through the wall. Anyways stay safe all is love resist compulsions!!!
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OCD
|
so i guess i should start off saying that i seek constant unending validation, attention, and love because i was so emotionally neglected by my family.
i have had only a handful of relationships as i (23F) reach my mid twenties. no more than what i can count on my hands. and all but three lasted more than 2 or 3 months.
the first month is great, for the most part. it became better once i realized im a lesbian. but it always seems that as things start to slow down in the slightest or i begin to notice that they dont seem to react the way i do or give attention back the same amount that i give, that i begin to get scared and doubt myself. soon after that starts i get absolutely miserable until either i break it off and leave no room for contact or they inevitably get bored of me because i stop talking as often and kind of draw into myself. or maybe they just get bored of me because they realize that im a waste of their time.
i try and talk, sometimes, about how im feeling, but i get to scared or it ends up becoming a situation where they have an anxiety attack or get upset at me and i end up apologizing for bringing it up. its a pattern that i always try to avoid but always seem to get myself back into with each new relationship.
i also try looking up signs that they're attracted to you (because they can call me pretty all they want-though that is hardly ever, in this pattern- but there is a difference between being attractive and being attracted) buts its hard to find answers and information for because articles are usually written with straight couples in mind. And lesbian targeted articles always, always include the lack of sex.
i, have been through sexual trauma in my life, though i dont know how many times because i hardly remember my childhood. so, i think in part with that and the fact that i was always seen as ugly growing up (because im fat), i have always been super uncomfortable with the thought of having sex. so no i havent, ever. and to see these lesbian targeted articles saying "going at it day and night and having sex constantly is normal in a new relationship" and it makes me hyperventilate and start having a breakdown because is it normal? is it actually ?? what is wrong with me that makes it so people no matter who i date or who seems to genuinely want to be with me want to do that? its never even come up as a possibility??
but thats a whole other suitcase to never unpack.
basically it just gets me down a rabbit hole of depression and self doubt and wondering if the relationship is worth it at all because they dont give me attention, i feel like its some sort of guessing game every second that theyre not actively giving me attention and telling me how much they care about me. i dont think love is supposed to be this complicated or this heartbreaking, but i cant seem to break this cycle and find someone who i am mutually attracted to who actually WANTS to give me the validation and support i need. someone who i dont have to pry compliments or words of affirmation from their mouths or just telling me i look pretty when i send a selfie.
basically, do any of you have this kind of experience? if so, have you broken that cycle? how did you? how hard was it for you to open up about your needs to them and have them listen? any advice?
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ptsd
|
No matter how hard I try... Its happening over and over. First... I will have different types of flashbacks, and... While having those, I will be weird, struggle to breathe. I will just want to cry and scream and I wont even be able to do this much. Then I will caught up in an emotional flashback... Which feels like itll last forever. Now Im in despair and scared. I just wanna die and cannot do it. Cause other people wouldnt like it if I were to kill myself... I know this will pass.. Well...I dont actually know. It feels like it wont ever go away. And why should it go away? Itll come again and again... I dont want to try anymore. I want to try no more. It is not working. It wont work. I hate that I have to live for others sake.
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ptsd
|
So I just switched over from Adderall to Dexedrine (10mg ER) and I am sooo glad I did! This is the best ADD medication I’ve taken yet that’s worked the best for me. I’ve also been taking Zoloft for the past 6 months, and I’m curious to hear other’s experiences with the two medications taken together.
I spoke with my doctor and he said the two don’t interact, but I’ve heard that zoloft may exacerbate some of the effects of Dex in negative ways, like increase in jitters/stimulation, anxiety etc. I know that ADD/ADHD medications can universally treat anxiety, depression and ADD/ADHD as having ADD can be the root of all of these disorders.
I guess the question that I’m trying to ask here is, have you had positive results with the two medications in conjunction? Or better results eliminating/taking one rather than together?
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ADHD
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I know that most of us, if not all, dealing with intrusive thoughts. So how to deal with them when they become so prominent and prevent you from living your life!
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OCD
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I have few friends, I'm always alone, i go to school to be mediocre for 7 hours, then i got to work for another 5 or 6, then i go to bed. I do this every single day. Is it so unrealistic to think that maybe im not just depressed and seeing things through a bleak lense, but maybe life really is this way? Something about me seems to push people away, and if im being honest, i truly don't know what it is. I have a low self esteem, but even then i can tell that im not so awful or unsociable that im just a walking red flag. I do decent in school, top quarter in my grade, some people have my sense of humor, im not an awful conversationalist, i like to think im at least a bit insightful and well spoken, i just wish i knew what is making me so lonely. I receive compliments somewhat regularly and am praised for various things, but theres just this barrier that i cant seem to cross with anyone, and it really hurts. Im often ghosted on reddit but maybe its just the nature of the website, or maybe im unbelievably socially unaware, i truly dont know. Im doubtful a post of text will bring anyone reading this any accurate insight into what my giant flaw is, im just venting and man it fucking hurts to be alone, because thats the only way i see any of this grinding worth it, is to have someone to share it with and make it all worth it. Sorry for the rant guys and gals, i hope you all have a great day/afternoon/evening depending on where youre at, stay safe.
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depression
|
Some lessons are on school location, some online. Sometimes lessons online are on the same day as physical lessons. Lessons are on different times all over the week. Every week is different with scheduling.
How can I keep planning fulltime hours if they change it up every week? I can't be productive enough without exhausting myself. If every week was the same I could build an effective routine. I could set up different reminders and timers for my weekly routine. Now, I can't.
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aspergers
|
There's an r/askreddit I saw about nonsexual intimacy, and in there someone posted about their grandpa and grandma. The grandpa got parkinsons or something and had to be taken care of by grandma & caregivers. He needed help with everything, even wiping his own ass. And you know what? She did it, as much as she could and then even more. Because she loved him.
I feel like this is selfish, to think about everything about myself. I can't help it. Anyway, it made me think about just how little help I've had throughout my life. I've been hospitalized multiple times because of my ADHD and comorbid depression / anxiety / suicidal thoughts, and yet no one believes me when I say that I am struggling. When I say that my executive dysfunction makes (most) things literally impossible to accomplish.
Yet when I drop out of school 3 times, college twice, can't even make myself show up to any job interview, can't schedule appointments with psychiatrists, or really do fucking anything that would even slightly improve my life, I'm the bad guy. I'm a *failure*. I make my mom suicidal, God does she ever hold that over my head. There's nothing wrong with *me* that I might need assistance, no, I'm choosing to hurt EVERYONE.
Nothing has ever improved for me through my own fruition. My current therapist, I'm seeing because a friend of mine literally didn't let me leave when we were hanging out until I called them. Every time I hang out with people, they invite me out. I can't do anything myself.
It sucks so much. Even when I actually **have** adderall or focalin or wellbutrin, I find myself obsessing over the idea of taking the medicine, staring at the bottle, and just, not taking it. I hate the feeling of pills. I hate the heart palpitations from adderall. I just. I fucking hate being alive and every waking second that I have I wish that I had just never been born, it's not as though it would have actually made a difference in anyone's life. Honestly every single person that I know would be happier without me.
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ADHD
|
For reference I'm 23. An NT friend of mine has just moved in with me, saw how much time I spend playing ACNH and said "I don't understand how you have the attention span to spend this long working on your island." She has ACNH too but quickly got bored and doesn't really play anymore. My GF told me, half-joking, that the reason I love it so much is because I have aspergers. I was wondering if anyone else plays a lot or really likes it/doesn't tire of playing? Im always doing these time consuming large scale projects, building intricate things, and I have a blast doing it.
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aspergers
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Hi everyone this is probably a weird question but do you guys have an obssesion going to pee? Like i have to go pee before i have to do something. And then i pee like 10 15 times per day 😂
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aspergers
|
Every time I get out to interact with people, I feel like pure garbage. I feel really aggressive when I come home even though nothing bad happened to me. It is just my mind is flooded by negative thoughts about people who thought that it would be fine to break my psyche and scream at me instead of helping me. I just feel like I am in an almost manic state and aggressive.
I am just afraid that if I get into some conflict at work I will just snap and attack someone.
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aspergers
|
I'm terrified of pocd
However I find that the thing I think about most is sa/rape/pedophillia
I look at a kid and the only thing that can come into my mind is about the danger they're in from EVERYONE I see a mother and a child and I think about how that mother could be hurting that child. I have nightmares terrible terrible nightmares where, a father is pushing his child through sa or I try to save a kid and they get hurt.
​
I also read about other peoples pocd and obsess over if I relate and almost begin to apply things to myself that weren't there before, is this actual symptom??? or is because I'm thinking so hard about it that I'm tricking my brain into thinking its happening?
​
I want to save kids, I want to help them in my nightmares that's almost all I ever do I want to take the pain away from them, I would take it and apply it to myself without a second thought even a random kid on the street I'd take it all. I had a childhood of sexual abuse and so when I see a kid I guess I really just see myself. The sad thing is some kids on the streets or on instagram really /are/ being abused and I cant do anything about it and at the same time it doesn't stop the panic and the fight or flight response
please help
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OCD
|
So my sister came by to help me sort and purge my clothes. Mainly because she “can’t stand looking at this anymore”
So we dig in. Made the big “marie kondo pile” I now realize i buy things to get that hit of dopamine and when i say buy things i mean i buy THE SAME THINGS over and over again. Several pairs of black pants, beige sweaters, boots, almost all exactly the same. And it is a GIANT pile.
I’m going to surmise this is an adhd thing. Sometimes i have no idea how to plan my outfits so i go buy similar clothes without realizing it.
I’ve done a similar thing with grocery shopping, always thinking I’m out of certain things then reaching the point that I can’t close the freezer or dry goods cupboard doors and it’s spilling out onto the counters into a variety of bins (which I also keep buying)
I will now commit to STOP doing this. Seeing that big pile is life changing.
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ADHD
|
2 years ago, I was prescribed Wellbutrin sr12 100mg by my then psychiatrist to combat my ADHD and anxiety symptoms. I informed her I was diagnosed with ADHD and took ritalin as a child, but discontinued around middle school (embarrassed to go to the nurse's office, I'm 30 now), but she was worried that trying a stimulant again would worsen my anxiety. I obediently took the medication anyway, at night with my Prozac and B/C. Felt no difference for 2 years, if anything everything got worse but thats most likely due to the pandemic happening.
I got retested for ADHD in August (per my previous psychiatrists request to even consider stimulants) no shocker, it came back that i indeed still have ADHD. Sent psychiatrist the results and met with her two weeks later. 2 things happened:
1. She did not read the report
2. She said that I had been taking my medication of wellbutrin wrong, that I'm suppose to take it in the morning. And to try that instead.
I cannot begin to describe how at the end of my rope I was...I had been actively working on getting diagnosed and treated for YEARS. After breaking down, my therapist recommended i try to switch providers. The miracle is, I was able to, and very quickly. I met with that previous psychiatrist on a Wednesday, and had a new appointment with someone the following Tuesday, and was prescribed Adderall XR 10mg that same day. When i first took it, i felt a large sense of calm, i could actually work, and listen to my partner, and not binge eat to get through the day. I also feel like my GAD is completely gone and i only get anxious when the situation calls for it.
That's a long story to come to this question - I'm in week 3 now of taking Adderall daily, and week 4 of taking the wellbutrin in the mornings. Originally I wanted to ween off of wellbutrin once i started adderall...but how do I know if the wellbutrin isnt playing a part in this? because of the morning dosing instead of night? I also have been feeling less focused the last few days here, but im not super surprised since my doctor said i might need to increase the Adderall eventually.
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ADHD
|
i’ve been on 20mg vyvanse for about a week and the first few days were rly good, i could maintain focus, no more racing thoughts, could follow through with tasks without getting distracted, could stay awake without feeling sleepy or tired, was generally a lot more productive.
idk if i’ve built a tolerance this quickly but the last few days ive felt almost nothing from them, i can nap shortly after its meant to have kicked in, im zoning out in conversations and lectures, struggling to do basic tasks again and getting very distracted.
i dont have an appointment with my psychiatrist till the 13th december but was wondering if i should still email him and ask if he can up my dose to 40mg? or would that be too much and just wait till my next follow up appointment. its only because i have a lot of stuff to do and im rly struggling right now
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ADHD
|
At this point, I am fucking sick to death of being scolded, ridiculed and being dismissively brushed aside. I can't go a fucking week without being fucking CRITICIZED. It's driving me fucking insane.
Everywhere I go I always make enemies. I am plagued by constant flashbacks of me being mocked, insulted and beaten in the past and it throws me into a fit of rage. I hate that things neurotypicals do, like listening to music, go to parties/nightclubs, I can never do because of my sensory issues combined with other mental health issues I have. I hate the fact that my parents were aware of my condition all these years and didn't even give a fuck. They just ignored it and allowed it to deteriorate to the point that I can barely fucking function in social situations. I am practically a loner with few to no friends. The so called 'friends' I have aren't even close friends. Outside of college, I have practically no social life. I can never do anything right, every time I attempt to interact I am either ignored or am being too awkward. I constantly have to be corrected on how to relate.
My narcissistic mother doesn't even give a fuck about my condition and mental health. She ruined my life and the lives of my other family members (my father in particular) by bringing us to a miserable,dead-end town, in an already shitty country for her own personal gain.
I hate my existence and I believe I was brought to this Earth to suffer.
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aspergers
|
My aspie friend is always turning round or looking around if he is in my vicinity or passing my house. Almost as if he is either looking for me or to see if I am looking at him. This is confusing as we are just platonic friends.
Has anyone else ever noticed this type of behaviour?
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aspergers
|
I was diagnosed with CPTSD recently by my psychiatrist, and my longterm therapist confirmed, and believes that it’s the root of my issues. I also have bipolar II, BPD, anxiety, and an ED, for background.
I’m struggling trying to figure out the cause of the CPTSD, and presumably, BPD as well. I can find traumatic experiences in adolescence, but I know it must have started earlier based on my behavioral issues. The only possible trauma I can really think of in my childhood is that my father had a short and somewhat unpredictable temper with me, but he never hurt me or even yelled, only raised his voice (according to him- I call all voice-raising yelling, and he hated that.) Men with anger in their voice is my biggest trigger, but it makes me feel oversensitive that that’s all it takes. Is it possible that I had BPD without cause from a very early age, or am just naturally overly sensitive in general? Or is a parent who you know loves you, but you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around- is that enough?
Also, so many of my CPTSD symptoms seem indicative of sexual abuse. Examples: fear of men, being touched, and sex in general; seeking validation through sex; (TW) >!rape fantasy; seeking out much older men sexually online as a teenager.!< These symptoms seemed to start around 12-13 years old, but the abuse could have been earlier. Again, I can find possible sexual trauma in my history a bit later, but nothing sexual around that time period. I’ve been racking my brain, but can’t think of anything (I’m positive nothing happened with my father.) I feel like everything would just make sense if I was sexually abused as a child, as awful as that sounds, like that’s the missing puzzle piece. Is it possible I’m repressing the memory? Or could this all have snowballed from the original nonsexual trauma?
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ptsd
|
Hey folks!
What are some tips you could give me for staying on task with being a productive adult with an agenda of boring, but necessary to cross off, tasks? I have noticed that one little thing will throw me off task and then ride through the wave of my prescription medication's peak performance, and then I feel like whelp..... that happened as I look at my to-do list... Tips? Thanks in advance!!
|
ADHD
|
Please can someone let me know that it’s going to be okay, and everything is going to work out because I’m feeling very alone and anxious.
Sometimes all I want is for someone to hold me and let me know that I’m going to be okay, and I’ll get through it. I wish someone had of been there to do this for me as a child. I’m forever longing to be taken care of because I’ve had to be strong for so long. I just want to break down and have someone look after me.
Going through some major mummy and daddy issues lol
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depression
|
I’ve been feeling really guilty lately. I keep having nightmares about the trauma and reliving it through flashbacks. I keep asking myself “what if I’d screamed louder? What if I’d punch and kicked harder?” I wasn’t drugged or anything, I was just to scared to fight back, I feel like I let it happen by not trying hard enough to get him off. Does anyone else have a similar experience?
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ptsd
|
I feel like some kind of alien robot pretending to be human 24/7 just to get through my day as a person in society. This shit makes me feel so hopeless and sad when I see other “normal” people socializing and functioning with ease and to know that I won’t ever be anywhere close to that level, and there’s not much I can do about that even though it’s ruining my life. I feel like I was dealt an impossible hand. I have no idea what to do, I don’t know how I can even reach out for help from other people. Fuck autism, it makes me want to die so badly.
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aspergers
|
I'm not diagnosed with ADHD (I don't have access to services and can't afford them even if I did) but I struggle a lot with putting things off until the very last minute and getting distracted, mostly by my thoughts, which makes it very difficult to study and causes me a lot of stress. I've had this problem for a long time, but it hasn't really impacted my grades until recently - I've just started my first year of university and it's completely virtual and mostly asynchronous. Even though I know that I need to study and work on assignments, I just can't get started early enough to have enough time to complete them well and once I do start, it is extremely difficult for me to stay on task.
I would really appreciate it if anyone could share some helpful strategies or tricks they use (or have used) to improve the effectiveness of their studying, especially in university.
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ADHD
|
Also sorry if the format is weird, I’m on mobile.
It seems like I’ve developed a tolerance to my meds. 70mg of vyvanse (for reference). The timing is impeccable, given that I’m nearing the end of the semester and assignments are piling up + exams. My FD doesn’t feel comfortable changing my meds (Adderall is the only stimulant I haven’t tried yet), because of the side effects I’m experiencing (my heart rate was at 120 when he checked). He sent a referral back to my psychiatrist, but that’s most likely going to take months until I get an appointment.
As a girl with ADHD, it took me 7 years to get diagnosed, and an additional 2 years to get medicated.
I. Am. So. Freaking. Tired.
I thought I finally had the tools I needed to be able to succeed in school, but it’s always one thing after another and I’m just so tired of it. I’m constantly fighting with myself because I don’t think I’m good enough/smart enough to be in uni. I know I am, but I feel like a failure and that I’m not going to get to where I want in life.
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ADHD
|
Hey everyone. Anyone with depression will know that this affects your libido.
I’m a 27 y.o woman with PCOS, depression, anxiety and a very stressful job. My fiancé and I are drunk and we’ve had a huge argument about sex. We’ve been together almost 8 years and we have sex about once a week at the moment as we both work full time plus overtime. I, as someone who has never had a good libido is happy with this. He on the other hand has just spilled the beans once drunk. He states he feels unloved, despite all the attention and non sexual intimacy/ love I provide him with. He, in a drunken upset has stated that “his friends think we’re weird that we only have it once a week” and he said “even my mum and dad have it more than us” and honestly I am so shocked and upset. Whilst I’m aware our relationship needs more time and effort at the moment, I’m totally shocked that he is as upset as he is about this. I’m willing to put in the effort to try more but at the same time - should he be a bit more understanding about my condition and my feelings?
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depression
|
Every year is the same. I start by thinking this year things will get better for me but they never do. I’ve had depression and anxiety for 6 years now and it’s getting way worse. I’ve missed lots of uni, which is not like me to miss classes, now I’m failing and dealing with extreme guilt that makes me hate myself everyday.
I have no friends, no bf and no one to talk to. I feel ashamed of being 20 and never had a bf before. Cos I’ve got no one to talk to, I let myself believe things that r not true, like it’s weird that I’m single when others my age Aren’t, and like no wonder I have no friends when Im too shy to put myself out there. No one wants to be my friend.
At home I never fight or answer back to my parents since it makes the argument worse, so I feel like everyone says mean stuff to me and I can NEVER answer back or say my point of view. It’s like, my family says annoying stuff to me, expecting me to just take it, like I have no feelings, or have no say. It’s SO SO SO hard to just bite my tongue and say nothing, especially when I feel like I’m in the right, or have a good comeback.
Rn I can’t enjoy Christmas cos of a stupid assignment I’m struggling to do, since I never attend lectures due to anxiety. And if I email my tutors for help, i feel like they’ll think, well no wonder ur stuck cos you’ve not even been attending. I spend each day feeling guilty when I don’t do the work, but when I try I struggle.
Another thing is I struggle with my appearance. My hair is thinning in the front (started February 2020) and won’t fucking go away. I feel like I’m losing myself more and more, and turning into such a loser. My overall appearance upsets me. I hate my reflection. I HATE seeing my picture, cos I’m so ugly. I have no confidence to wear nice clothes. My social anxiety makes it hard to exercise in public. ( last time my face went so red it looked like I was crying and people kept staring)
Overall I feel ugly, lonely, really really sad, and at a low point in my life, once again. Anyone got any advise? Thanks 😌all the best.
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depression
|
I’ll try to be brief but because of my ocd and slew of other mental health problems, I have missed out on so much growing up....friendship, relationships, intimacy, school, jobs....all those developmental milestones a normal person hits I never knew or experienced.
Flash forward to now at 34 and the only thing I want to do is die. I feel at my wits end, I feel like I’ve missed out and everyday I fantasize about what my life could have been like if I was normal.
Is it even possible to live a normal, well adjusted life? The older I get the more I just want to die because I’m getting so fed up of the constant fight I find myself in everyday.
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OCD
|
This obsession came on ultra quick, it's HIV. My first trigger was a hookup I had a few months back, never even though of HIV being even a remote possibility. Probably because I was too overwhelmed with the obsession that I could have gotten her pregnant. Luckily by the time this obsession caught up with me it was at six weeks and I could shell out $100 for a conclusive HIV test, it was negative.
I honestly feel dumb writing this to be honest but maybe it'll help me process. Honestly was having a good day, fighting compulsions, good mood etc. I went to get food from the grocery store and on my out I stepped in what I thought to be puke. No exaggeration an immediate 180. Panicking, what if there was HIV, immediately go to google, no reported cases ever from vomit contact. Breath of relief? Nope!
Still in full panic, went home put food in freezer, didn't know what to do, thought spiraling, only compulsion I had to do was to go back and look at what I thought to be puke. [Didn't look like](https://gyazo.com/0a57612f344838af64dba2e746e218b3) it, but was still paranoid. It kind of settled, I agreed to just not eat the food in the freezer? Couldn't even bring myself to throw it away.
\~One week later I decided to go by MORE frozen food and put it in the freezer AWAY from the other stuff, great! Was calm for the time being. Room mate moved it on top of the other food. I was so hungry one night I decided as some sort of self ERP bs to eat the food on the top, which wasn't even touching the boxes of food that was from that day (or so I think). Weird circumstance, but this food had a sauce that went with it that had to be opened, did that with my *contaminated* fingers. Put the sauce on the already warmed food, ate the food, and since been in a panic everyday, taken by the fact I am going to get HIV. I can't shake this one, I really can't. Will have to wait six weeks until I can test (conclusively) so seems that is a bit away :)
This obsession is starting to spread into other things as well which is getting REALLY out of hand. I don't know if I can go any lower than this. Honestly questioning whether I should admit myself because this is really borderline psychosis.
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OCD
|
So, not everyone ends up in solitary or self employment jobs, nor does everyone have found a remote job or - most importantly- live in countries that "accommodate our behaviours" either because they're obligated or because it's the norm nowadays.
So my question is, how many of you work a full time, "every day", 40(+) hours a week, "normal" job, what my parents call "real" job, and how do you cope?
I got a phone call from my former employer of 4 years ago that they want me back, and I really need the money, but I have no idea how to do it all over again. I had a fairly good time based on my future experiences, but I found last night some notes I had been writing to myself back then and I was really stressed and suicidal - it was then that I started seeing a psychologist and then that I started looking into my symptoms. I remember the boss telling me off because I didn't walk into his office to say good morning, and I remember prepping myself all the way through the 20 min drive to work, and taking deep breaths before entering, and a lot of stress that little had to do with my actual work (which is reservations in a tourism agency for reference) and more with "dealing" with everything and everyone. I hate the phone, especially at work, I have to put on a phonecall mask on top of the job mask, and it's eventually making me do mistakes from disorientation, that I have to spend extra time to fix... and other things that I probably shouldn't bug you with, because my point is,
How does everyone else here with "normal" / "real" jobs cope? Especially in countries that are not friendly to Aspergers and similar conditions?
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aspergers
|
There should be tldr software that converts my long text ramblings to something more concise & structured. For someone who wasn't good at school, when I try to explain things through text I can branch out and almost push out a mini novel. By the end of my typing I'm surprised how much is the structure & repetition
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ADHD
|
Does any of you have their ocd force them to do compulsions since you know how important it is not to do compulsions to recover?
Ocd will literally try to ruin everything.
|
OCD
|
I have been feeling so overwhelmed by Netflix and what to watch when I have free time that I actively either don't watch anything or watch the same movie (Currently the Oceans 11,12 &13) over and over again. It's getting so bad however that I actually just don't know what to watch anymore and when I have to choose, I freeze. There's no thoughts, I just freeze up and start to panic. My partner is starting to get so annoyed with me that I can't make a decision when it comes to choosing a show/movie to watch. But like, I can't help it! I literally don't know what to watch!
Does anyone else deal with this? If so, how do you fix it?
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ADHD
|
Hi everyone! I struggle a lot with covid anxiety and the fear of getting infected even though I am vaccinated. With college starting again in a few weeks, I was wondering if anybody has any tips about easing anxiety about contamination/getting covid.
Something that has helped me is reframing my warped expectation of the pandemic. For the past year and a half I have made it my mission to not get covid, but recently I realized that was never the goal of quarantine/the vaccine (for me as a young person with no underlying conditions). The goal of quarantine/the vaccine was to make sure you do not get severe illness or overwhelm ICUs so that preventable deaths do not occur.
This reframing has helped me a lot in realizing I am never going to be 100% safe due to college, roommates, etc. and that is okay because I am vaccinated. Still, I am having a lot of anxiety and find myself avoiding situations due to my covid fear. I feel like I am falling behind my peers in the return to normal and am the only one still masking or caring about covid.
Does anybody have any tips, advice, insights?? I would love to hear about your experiences so I can feel less alone
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OCD
|
I hadn't received a reply from the person I had been exchanging e-mails with for a while, so I sent two e-mails to him saying that I was worried about him. I was so curious that I sent them. I'm sure they'll think I'm a pushy person. I can't sleep because I'm filled with regret about why I sent them.
I want to go to sleep, but I'm so anxious and worried. Can someone please help me? I know it's my fault, but I'm worried that even if I wait, I won't get a reply from that side. I'm too anxious to know what to do if I get a reply, and I'm getting furiously hungry. It's midnight in my country and I need to sleep. What should I do?
I'm sorry if this post has nothing to do with OCD.
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OCD
|
So I (20F) have been in therapy for a while now and my therapist has been telling me that I might have ADHD and pushing me to get tested. I finally got one scheduled after pushing it off and I’m really nervous.
I feel like I’ve gotten too attached to the idea of potentially having it. Like it’s comforting for me to have something to explain why I am the way I am/why I do certain things. I also feel like my parents would be super upset with me if I didn’t have it and they would feel like I took the test/wasted money for nothing.
I feel really guilty for feeling like that, cause I know it’s not something I should want and it’s not like knowing I have it is gonna solve all my problems.
I don’t know, sorry for the rant. This whole thing is just really stressing me out. Any advice or words of comfort would be appreciated. Thanks for listening.
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ADHD
|
To those who suffer from PTSD stay strong today. I have no problems with the sounds today but I know this is a horrible day for many of you.
This subreddit is here for you to message any of us for support and help.
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ptsd
|
I always feel a little weird when people ask me what I’m doing for Halloween/Christmas/New Years/etc. and I tell them I don’t have plans. It usually doesn’t bother me much until I stop to think about it.
I can’t tell if I don’t care about holidays because there’s something inherently social about them and I’d rather avoid all of it since I find socializing exhausting, or if I’ve taught myself to not care about holidays to avoid the pain of feeling so out of place during times when society places such a huge emphasis on friendship, community, etc.
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aspergers
|
(Disclaimer: I have PTSD with OCD like symptoms, I am posting here because this subreddit does help me)
I (M25) am currently in therapy and I have realized that throughout my life I have been performing checks and suffered from a combination of trauma, internalized homophobia, and ocd. This culminated in me using porn to check if I was actually aroused by women. If only I had known about the groinal response, I would have been able to stop or at least delay these checks. Thanks to this subreddit, my fiancé, and therapist I know my responses to women are not who I am. However whenever I feel anxiety I perform the checks and compulsions religiously. During and after I feel disgusted and dissociated from myself. What has worked best for you in terms of eventually not giving into the compulsion and stopped these checks? I know I have to work through my shame but I really need to get a grip on this sooner rather than later (I have started medication as well).
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OCD
|
Hey guys and gals.
As the title says, I got diagnosed with ADD last January at the age of 26 (I'm 27 now). I also struggle with depression, and I find it really hard to get shit done. Just basic things as taking my meds I sometimes see as a hurdle I can't cross.
What I wanna ask is if you guys have any good tips or rituals to get better at taking my meds and learning to live with ADD. Yes I know I have it, but changing my daily life to work in ways that helps me instead of working against me is hard when I don't really get much help since I can't effort a shrink.
New to the sub, thanks for having me.
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ADHD
|
As i was buying groceries today i realized that i have heard this almost urban myth about someone acting like an asshole by saying that they are autistic and they can't help it so they don't need to change and people have to just accept who they are.
It kind of smells to me like... utterly manipulative people pretending to be disabled in order for things go their way.
I mean, if i was socially skilled enough as to manipulate other people into doing something beneficial to me, i wouldn't be here in this subreddit asking this kind of questions to begin with.
So, have you ever been able to take advantage of your condition or seen someone do it sucessfully ?
If it can be done it would be amazing, but seems unlikely to me. I can barely manage to talk to others, let alone be able to understand their inner selves enough as to turn them out in my favor.
PS: Watching the post Covid South Park special ATM. It's super funny.
|
aspergers
|
Hello everyone -- I hope that you are doing well today, and are having an enjoyable holiday season.
I have read a lot about Aspergers/ASD -- and, of course, have read different clinical definitions, including the DSM III/IV/V. However, it still strikes me as very oddly defined:
1) Many of the traits used for diagnosis could very easily be characterised into another disorder
2) From what I know of aspergers/high functioning autism (forgive me if this is the incorrect way of saying it), it does not necessarily seem to be a disorder or something that the person 'suffers' from -- predominantly, it seems to largely be a different way of seeing the world and greater perceptivity through a combination of neurological patterns/unique ways of thinking, with social/emotional/speech/etc. being part of it, but such aspects which either do not bother the person, or especially in the case of speech, can be often be treated with therapy.
3) Going off of point 2, if it is more likely to evolve to into a definition for neurodiversity rather than a disorder, then where would the line be between aspergers/ASD neurodivergency, and other types of neurodivergency of which have or have not yet been formally agreed upon (not simply identified through studies) by psychologists?
Once again, I mean no disrespect or offense -- I am very curious, and it occurs to me that people who have aspergers, and an interest in learning/discussing more about it, may have some valuable perspectives on what it actually is.
Thank you for your time
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aspergers
|
I get really attached to things like mbti types or like even having a disorder I relate to as a sense of self. Mby I am ocd abt it bc ive had ocd disorders. But in the past I felt uncomfortable when I posted on Reddit and someone said it wasn’t bpd and felt validated when someone said it was. I felt like I needed to make it who I was. Not for attention at all though. In the past I realize I copy people too much without realizing it. Like being obsessed w a girl at school and copying her exact outfit by every little detail. Or seeing a friends Snapchat story and post the exact same one. It’s like a model for who I am and how I need to act. I have adhd which. Can also cause a lack of sense of self. Like I will decide how to treat someone by thinking abt if it’s what “that person” would do. I do this all unconsciously. I will think that I’ve always been the person im copying and just DIDNT know it before if it’s a stranger and if it’s a friend I’m copying I’m just very attached to them. But like my copying is a lot like I will go through a phase where I’m convinced I’m the same person as this gay sweet boho girl at school and post quotes like her and follow similar accounts to her than switch and copy a crazy party girl and be exactly like them . Like I feel the need to mold all my life choices like career and everything off others
I’m only diagnosed w adhd and wonder if This is part of it
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ADHD
|
Throwaway because friends know my main.
I am diagnosed with PTSD and my nightmares are, once again, spinning out of control. They were always bad, but when I am stressed they 'flare up'. The main subject throughout my nightmares is me being in a situation where I am powerless, where I am not strong enough, especially against people and animals chasing or attacking me. When I run, I don't or barely move, when I fight I miss, etc.
I wake up feeling extremely fearful every time. I'm scared to go back to sleep, sometimes I just don't even try anymore. I've noticed that, during the day, this feeling is lingering around. I'm scared to close my eyes. Scared I will look somewhere and all the things I see in my nightmares, will be reality. I know I've got dissociation as a symptom of the PTSD and this is probably part of it, but I'm just really scared all the time and can't relax anymore.
Any tips at all would be greatly appreciated. I don't know what to do anymore. I try to stick to a rhythm, but it's not helping. I will receive treatment somewhere next year (EMDR).
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ptsd
|
For a while there I was cleansing my life of all these relationships which made me feel like shit, and a lot of them were actually shitty, but it’s been hitting me that I don’t know how to bond. I feel like I’m friendly and loving, but sometimes I just shut off and I can’t interact with the people I love. Other times all these people say I’m their friend, yet I don’t feel friendship?
A lot of my trauma happened at the hands of those who were supposed to protect me, my parental units. I don’t know how to have a mother and I can go on. Right now I’m in EMDR and it’s helping me. I’m currently in between jobs and went from a very stressful job to doing nothing and have been digging through some shitty memories with my therapist, so there’s a lot happening.
I guess I wanted to post here because I was curious if more folx go through this.
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ptsd
|
It just pops right in my head whenever I have a chance. It's like "hey, everyone else at home is distracted? Skip this meal, it's now or never!' and then I'm just thinking about that all day long and my brain goes "you thought about not eating!!! You have an eating disorder!!!!" and THEN I feel like a horrible liar when I DO eat because it starts going "so you faked it, you didn't actually not eat for the whole day and you thought you had an eating disorder, you're a bad person because you thought that when there are other people who do have eating disorders and can't eat and you purposely decide not to eat so you're terrible"
It makes me really upset because when I think about it it's just my OCD throwing random thoughts and then shaming me for them. I am aware I don't have an ED, but I'm ALWAYS questioning myself about it because I've always felt like I'm an easy target for those kinds of thoughts to get stuck in my head. Having an obsessive mind, anything can become an obsession if I let it, so I pay too much attention to what I think about food and if it's becoming dangerous in any way all the time.
Maybe it's because of that one time when I was younger, I tried to go on a diet and eat "healthy", and spoiler alert; It became obsessive since that very day. It kept going for less than a week and before I could notice I ate one apple and a small bowl of cereal through the whole day and didn't see anything wrong with it. If my mom hadn't noticed and confronted me about it, I wouldn't even have become aware of the problem. Since that happened, I'm never really sure what to think, and I'm always scared it comes back and I don't see it.
|
OCD
|
Hi all,
I read the rules but I'm still not entirely sure if this is allowed....
I (24F) recently got diagnosed with ADHD combined type and while I'm relived with the diagnosis, I'm also a little bit overwhelmed and lost because I really don't know much about ADHD other than the symptoms they list on web self-tests, lol.
Anyway what makes me feel better in these sorts of situations is to research the fuck out of it. So, in that vain, **could you please drop some of your favourite web articles, YT videos, academic articles etc that you find particularly interesting, useful or helpful!**
**Anything goes really but I would love to read more about how ADHD typically presents in adult woman.**
OH also! Someone posted yesterday in this group (I think) in the comments section of a post I can't for the life of me remember of an English doctor talking about the symptoms you might experience as an undiagnosed adult. I found it super interesting, it was about 14 minutes long but I only got about 5 minutes through before I got off task then lost the video... **does anyone know what video I'm talking about?**
Any suggestions would be much appreciated thank you!
|
ADHD
|
I have to read these really long sections from my AMSCO book for US history to read.
I need to read them so I can answer the packets for homework.
Most of them are 5-10 pages long and most pages contain 3-4 bulky paragraphs. However, my attention span is short and I can barely get past the first paragraph when it comes to reading informational text.
After that, my mind starts wandering and I realize I’ve “read” the whole page, but remember none of the information. History is the only class I’m failing (I’m making a 30 atm) but all of my other classes are 90 and above.
Any recommendations?
|
ADHD
|
I am extremely depressed. I remember maybe many moments back in time that I felt was extremely traumatic or remember them as very painful memories. Mostly related to my mother verbally abusing me and beating me when I was a kid( for my own good apparently but it got a bit extreme). I was really fixated upon this my entire life. I decided to confront my mother even though I knew nothing could come out of it it still did so. Now she tells me whatever happened did not happen and it's caused because of depression.
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depression
|
I was trying to fall asleep tonight and remembered something traumatic from my childhood. I was a girl scout in elementary school. We were each assigned each a resident at a nursing home to go see. One day I didn’t want to go see my lady because my friends were in the dayroom and the lady must have heard because when my mom said later that when we walked by her room and didn’t stop that she had tears in her eyes. Next time we visited she yelled at me and said told me to go away because I never wanted to visit her any ways. I left crying and sad. Next time we went to the nursing home I ran right to her room and the bed was empty. The lady passed away the night before I was going to come. I was devastated and have felt like I caused her to die of sadness. That happened over 30 years ago. I usually have other horrible memories that haunt me when I try to go to sleep but this one hasn’t surfaced for over a decade. That is one that I feel very guilty about to this day as I feel I had a hand in her misery and subsequent demise. I don’t know how to make it right with my mind and heart and am tortured by the memory every time it resurfaces. Any advice is helpful.
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ptsd
|
So I was officially diagnosed with PTSD recently, after being told I have bipolar for years. It’s almost a relief to know that I’m not crazy. I’m struggling a lot with feeling like my body is on “auto pilot”. Like I shut my brain off for hours, weeks at a time and don’t realize until I come back to reality. I wish I had more control over it.
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ptsd
|
I’m drunk can’t stop these actions. My husband leaving me after 4 childern.
I was a single mom of daughter of 8 years. To be honest I didn’t want be anyone, I didn’t see that there was someone out there. But when I meet him I dreamed about him twice. He made me happy value.
I realized my attitude came from my mom yelling when things could be talked about. My self esteem is low from mental abuse.
He ready leave today he went look for a new place I haven’t seen him in 10 hours. I know he speaking to 50s female. We in our 30s.
The kids sleeping. My family has history or alcohol and drug abuse. I pour a 6 oz of whisky. I don’t drink or do drugs but with what everything what else to sto the pain. My father passed my mom can’t be there for no support. Even when I had my last born my mom could be there for a day for my younger kids. The 11 year old have take care of the 3 year old. She lives 20 minutes away. My Siblings know but they didn’t care. I haven’t spoken to them in 3 months.
I don’t think I’m strong to be hea for my kids.
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depression
|
Back in 2019, I woke up one morning only to pass out, come to and get back up, then pass out again.
While I do think it had a lot to do with how buried I felt by OCD-related issues, the ER treated it as dehydration. I think I was even on a saline drip or whatever.
I haven't fainted since, and I know that I manage to drink my big bottle of water before my 5 hour shift at work finishes on Tuesday and Friday, but I honestly wouldn't be very surprised if I wasn't properly hydrated most days.
At one point I tried gulping down a glass of water as soon as I woke up every morning, so I could at least start the day hydrated, but now I'm hearing that apparently gulping down water isn't good either because that's too fast for your body to sort out properly.
Is there a trick to this or something? I'm even considering setting an alarm every 10 minutes on my phone to remember to sip consistently throughout the day.
But all of this comes down to me just being exhausted by my OCD and trying to find other ways of weakening it, since figuring out my next move in terms of therapy has become very difficult.
I really should just suck it up and pick an IOP but I cannot shake the feeling that they might fuck things up worse, especially since the last failed therapist told me, all in the same meeting, to blindly trust her and my psych and stop looking things up on my own, and also to stop treating my OCD as an external "bully" because that's the wrong way to go about it, putting her at odds with *every OCD treatment source I've literally ever listened to.*
I need some sort of help. I know I do. But I feel like my psyche can't handle *another* therapist who eats $450 of my money to give me shit advice.
So yeah. Think proper hydration would help?
We're desperate. Mom even recommends things like acupuncture because she just doesn't know how to help. Breaks my heart because I don't know what it's like to see your adult child suffering every day and not being able to help.
I dunno man.
|
OCD
|
Hi friends, I'm new here. I (27, f) was just diagnosed formally about two months ago, but started seeing a therapist who had an inkling I have adhd in August. I'm on my first full month on Vyvanse and it helps, but I feel like I'm still struggling with some stuff.
I recently left my shop, for a couple of reasons that I don't really want to get into. It was largely amicable, and we are still friends, but I ended up feeling really isolated while I was there. I didn't get very far in this apprenticeship, and when I left, I hadn't started on skin yet. I had a different apprenticeship that ended a few years ago because the owner of that shop was very neglectful. Because of these experiences, I am ultimately having a really hard time deciding to go to another apprenticeship.
Right now, I'm not working, and while I am grateful for the large amount of creative time I have, I know that I don't want to do this forever. I'm just struggling to see myself doing *anything* in the future. I can't handle going back to the restaurant industry. I love doing wire wrapping, but I don't think I have the heart to make it a business.
I want to tattoo and I know I can do it, but I have so much self doubt about if I can keep myself busy and engaged. Sometimes, I even second guess if I love the industry as much as I think I do. Nothing feels real and I feel like I'm barely staying afloat. My artistic drive feels like it's barely moving and I don't know how to start again.
Are there any tattoo artists out there that were diagnosed as adults? Do you go through these feelings too? I'm not sure what to do anymore.
|
ADHD
|
Vent/Question:
How the hell do I cope with living with people who don’t respect me and my mental illness. Even pre-Covid I’ve struggled with contamination based obsessions and compulsions but they’ve gotten exponentially worse. As time goes on, and people get more impatient with stay at home orders my anxiety only gets worse.
My family don’t respect my requests to keep their distance from me in the home, they go out, visit family and friends without wearing masks, it just pisses me off. Without OCD it would piss me off due to the lack of empathy and selfishness that they display when doing these things but I feel like I’m going CRAZY!!!! They gaslight me, sneak behind my back to go to non-essential social event, and I have to constantly overhear by accident or find out on Facebook that my family members haven’t been safe and have been out and about.
Every time I start to let my guard down and my mental health and triggers seem to get manageable I find out something that my family did behind my back that makes me spiral over and over again. I don’t have the financial means to live on my own, and I’m terrified to move during a pandemic anyways. If I could have it my own way I’d live completely on my own so I’d have a bit of control over who comes into MY safe space..
What the hell do you do when the people you live with invalidate and disrespect you all the while make you feel like you’re crazy for wanting them to do there bare minimum that the government demands?
Also I got vaccinated last month because I’m a healthcare worker, but my obsessions have gotten almost worse sense then. Half of me thinks I may have a tiny bit of protection but I still am extremely cautious and only go out for work or grocery shopping, meanwhile the other half of me thinks that my vaccine was ineffective because I had no reaction to it and that I’m just as vulnerable to getting sick and possibly killing my family and patients that I work with whom are all extremely high risk. The constant fear of killing others in general have been BAD, but COVID has only made these things exponentially worse..
I know this rant is going on long and I went on a bunch of tangents but how do you cope with not even being able to feel safe in your own house or even your own room? I spend hours doing cleaning rituals every night and I’m losing sleep and I’m extremely stressed out because of all of this.
If you read all of this I think you so much. I just don’t think I can keep coping with my mental health and sanity constantly being stepped on and disregarded... it makes me want to die
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OCD
|
I’m sure for some of us, this is a very relatable experience. If it is not, do not feel shy, I’d like to hear your opinions as well.
I’m wondering how you’d want someone to approach you if something you were doing was bothering them, specifically something rather ADHD. Like talking too much, clicking pens, making noise, tapping, leg bouncing. I’ve been diagnosed for a while, and because of that I was able to get some ok therapy that gave me some tools to deal with this myself. I’ve learned to switch between noises, make a “quieter” noise, or less obvious movement, and especially making rhythmic noise bothers people a lot less.
Regardless, I do not know how I’d want someone to tell me something I was doing was bothering them, to the point that it’s causing this other person stress, and they want to approach me kindly, but don’t know how to get the point across.
I got asked this question today and had no idea how to reply. The best I could think of was being told something as a joke, like, “gosh could you talk any louder over there?” In a sort of teasing way.
TLDR; how would you want someone to tell you to pipe down if you were overwhelming them?
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ADHD
|
So for a bit of time I had intrusive thoughts of something I possibly did when I was 15. For me I can't generate a memory of it because I don't know what to think or recall so that's a sign. So something I noticed is after thinking about a thought that felt familiar I realised that what felt familiar was what was happening in the thought. Nothing else felt familiar aside from the people (because I know them irl). Now obviously it's a bit of a way to go but knowing that when I think about these thoughts, nothing else appears or even corrects the thoughts makes me feel a little better. But as time has gone on more stuff has appeared. Something about a swamp setting or feeling has appeared? That confused me alot but either way I'm working on it.
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OCD
|
Just need to let somethings out. Yesterday had a major jolt of my real event ocd from an accident that happened months ago that I fear will get me in trouble. Plays into my ocd harm theme. Ugh. I know what I need to do to let it go but it was just super hard yesterday and now this morning.
|
OCD
|
It's 11:32 PM and I'm gonna have some caffeine so I can stay up and do work because I've been too tired and unmotivated to do it and I feel unfulfilled.
|
depression
|
I believe I could have aspergers but I don’t want to pay a psychologist to diagnose me cause they are expensive as fuck is there a cheap why I could get tested?
|
aspergers
|
I am prescribed adderall 20mg that I’m supposed to take twice a day. I took one earlier this morning. Then about 20 minutes ago, I realized I forgot to take my second dose a few hours before, so I went ahead and took it since I still have a lot of things to do. I didn’t think much of it when I took it because I didn’t feel how I usually do when I have taken it, so I really did believe I forgot my second dose.
About 20 minutes after I’ve taken it, my anxiety kicked in and I started thinking “did I actually take that second dose a couple hours ago?” And I truly cannot remember if I took one or not. So now my anxiety is through the roof and I’m not sure what to expect. I feel like I will be anxious and have chest tightness from the anxiety, but I’ll be worried that it’s from too much adderall, regardless of whether I actually took that second dose or not.
I know it’s only 20mg and people have accidentally taken a lot more than this and lived to tell the tale, but my concern stems from how close the doses would be. I’m supposed to take them every 4-6 hours, and this would’ve been maybe 2 hours apart. By the time I realized that I could not actually remember if I took it, it was too late to try throwing this one up, as it dissolves pretty quickly. I’ve searched this subreddit but can only find people discussing adderall XR, and that’s not what I take.
Does anyone have advice on what to do/expect? Or words of encouragement?
|
ADHD
|
I've been rewatching *The West Wing* recently, early into season 4 but i keep re-thinking about that episode-long conversation between Josh Lyman and the psychotherapist. From current conversation to the last few days back to current conversation, to Josh's injured hand, to "the event"....
And as the episode was coming to an end i was heavily shaking. I had to put on pause and get up. I couldn't think straight, i was pacing around for a few minutes,i wanted a drink so i served myself a glass of water. At one point Josh inadvertedly cuts his hand by putting a glass down too violently while reliving his trauma. I didn't break mine but the scene flashed in my head while i put my glass down. "Wasn't i...wasn't he just reliving his trauma? Did it just triggered a reaction from me? Holy hell was this what some call panic attack? I just...had one?"
Those questions might seem strange for some of you, but i have no memories of my trauma. I was born prematurely, 2 months early,and my right lung tore itself at first breath. I was urgently put in intensive care where "skin-breaking" invasive medical procedures were done on me multiple times a day, for 2 months. I owe it my life, but back then we didn't know how traumatic all of this could be to a newborn. I was never given painkillers, only paralytics.
I don't have the memory flashbacks, nightmares or "conscious relivings", since we don't remember our birth (thankfully, good god). I only know about it because i figured it out/was told so 20+ years after event. Which means growing up, i couldn't make a difference between normal reactions and trauma reactions. What i thought was me being a turbulent 5 yrs old kid in a hospital was me having a PTSD "crisis", what i thought was me being a moody & sad 9-13 yrs old was me having a comorbid major depressive disorder.
What does all this have to do with *The West Wing*'s Noël episode? well on top of being a wonderful piece of television, it's an honest depiction of PTSD, where i learned that what i thought was younger me being on edge and shaking due to fatigue or whatever, was me having panic attacks.
Go watch it.
|
ptsd
|
Hi! I was diagnosed and started medication 3 months ago. Things were great, the medication was working actual miracles and now I’m curious and confused.
I have a lot of stressors come up for me. About 2.5 weeks ago my dose was increased. I take dextroamp 15mg 3 times a day. Sometimes I split it and take smaller doses more often because I had gastric bypass and my digestive system doesn’t absorb medications normally. 45mg a day is definitely the correct dose and I am not going to increase, but for about a week it hasn’t been effective, and I feel depressed.
I’m looking for anecdotes on this. What is your experience with depression and adderall? I used to be very depressed but hadn’t had an issue in years. Right now I’m dealing with a boss with a vendetta, regular customers at my workplace who are starting rumors bc they have decided they don’t like me as much as other bartenders (it’s really only one, but he has influence with my boss too), I’m in an intense portion of my schooling and trying to keep a home clean and safe while being the primary caretaker of my 2 year old.
I can’t tell if my adderall is making me depressed. I have the same level of depression whether or not I take my meds. I can’t tell if my depression, anxiety and dread are making my meds less effective because my brain is focused on fight or flight mode, or if its something else altogether.
I’m not against antidepressants, but in the past that usually made me more depressed and closer to self harm than I’d ever gotten so I sorta swore to myself I wouldn’t take them again so I’d stay safe from myself.
Oh and also losing weight makes you hormonal and I can’t tell if it’s that either.
Any advice? I don’t see my therapist until the end of the month.
Tl;dr which came first, the meds being less effective or the depression?
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ADHD
|
The past two nights I’ve gotten around 5 hrs of sleep and I always feel like it’s more harmful to take my adderall after I haven’t slept a lot. Is this true? I feel like it’s too much on my brain.
I don’t get much sleep ever but some nights I get less than normal and I feel scared/worried to take it on those days. Thoughts?
UPDATE: I asked my psychiatrist about it and she said it’s not harmful, it just might give me “false energy” that I don’t actually have. That reassured me a bit! I just still get worried about taking meds even tho I know I need them :/
|
ADHD
|
I’m pretty sure I suffered from PTSD as a two year old. From what I’ve read on this sub it isn’t in reality as harrowing as other people’s experiences I’ve read, but basically it triggered my first panic attack.
Looking back I believe this incident has impacted all of my life and formed me, most crucially contributing to me developing addictions from an early age.
I was so young when this happened, and the memory if the experience is very short.
I guess I’d like to know what has helped people deal with their experiences.
I’ve been semi-meditating on the memory and trying to calm the ‘child’. I find that is sort of helping.
Thanks for reading.
|
ptsd
|
So, I have problems to pay attention at university and I had problems also in high school. Firstly, she said that I should use meditation, and order my study place. I did and that didn't work. Then she said I should do exercise and go outside, and I also did it and it didn't work. I don't know how to tell this, but whenever I say this problem has been long (I have this since 3 years I suppose) she says that it's not true because I graduated high school and read books, so I actually *can* pay attention. She said that the problem is my career, and that it actually doesn't interests me. I said that isn't true since I study science and have read science books since I was a child. However, speaking about my past it results a school teacher of mine believed I had social/learning problems (I never knew about this) and that justified me going to the psychologist (it's the same person, btw, I just stopped to came for years because I was a child and didn't want to go to draw and do shit I can do in home). It results that this psychologist believed I was some kind of genius (wtf?) because "the traditional education system can't with you" (!!!!) because "you pay attention at whatever you're interested, no at what you're told to". I said that it's a common thing in people with ADHD, or that I understand it like that based on what I have read. She later told me that she thinks ADHD literally don't exists and that many children are "over-medicated", and so on. Sorry, I can't remember what she told me, but it all has the same neurodiverse movement vibes or IDK. Then just said that I should wait, because "attention will come". HAHSHAJSSKSHSKSHS I'M SO FRUSTRATED I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. I SERIOUSLY PAID FOR THIS BITCH TO TELL ME I COULD HAVE SOME LEARNING PROBLEM OR WHATEVER BUT I JUST DREW SOME THINGS AND AKSHAKSGAKSHAI WHAT THE FUCK.
AND THIS IS NOT THE END. I ASSURE YOU. Because the previous session she told me that I'm not paying attention at anything because there's something I am paying attention to, and distracts me. I told her I had nothing and then somehow she comes up with the idea that my repressed homosexuality (I'm actually open with people about this, I just hadn't tell my family – except my sister – about it yet) is distracting me in some way and WHAT THE FUCK. HOW THAT HAS ANY SENSE. And this is just the things I'm going to say about that psychologist. Because the problem is that I have lost hope with psychologists (my sister also has bad experiences). So IDK what to do now. I didn't think I have ADHD, but every session I think that's the answer and that it can actually be the problem. And I want to start my biotech career the next year KNOWING I have, or not, something, knowing if I have to take pills or whatever. You get me. Also, I need to say the typical and annoying "sorry for my English" xD
|
ADHD
|
A two part question for those with a good auditory memory, fans, musicians, songwriters and producers alike: Ever listen to music with your SO and suddenly blurt out “OMG that has to be (insert Name) on (insert instrument)” because you recognize their style (and were right), or “ OMG I bet this song was written by (or produced by) insert name”…. Does it kind of produce an eye roll or drive your SO nuts…
Tonight I was listening to “Makin love outta nothing at all” (ps: I always had an alternative music background, not so familiar with rock) at home by myself and my brain went “omg that is so Meatloaf” and I blurted out “That has got to be a Jim Steinmann song!”… And then I realized it’s not really as fun without my girlfriend’s eye roll…. So part two: anyone else their ADHD “trivial brilliant moments” feel kind of hollow or just plain useless without someone else around?
|
ADHD
|
General question as I think (not sure bc I’m having trouble trusting my thoughts) what I’m currently going through is some hardcore TOCD. (Gender identity themed ocd)
My journey began randomly, almost a month ago and by the second episode, it became apparent that I was struggling with compulsions and ruminations. I was wondering if it was possible for someone like me to just randomly get it?
For extra info, I’ve always been a hardcore anxious person. Ever since I was a kid and even now, I struggle with social anxiety. I’ve been in the hospital for my anxiety for things clearly out of my control (even had a electrocardiogram used on me) and have terrible habits that are caused by my anxiety (nail biting, hair pulling, etc.) So I just wanted to know if that was a thing for someone who is undiagnosed with OCD but has a long history with anxiety.
|
OCD
|
Hi!
I got diagnosed with ADHD less than 6 months ago (I can't remember exactly when) and after a few tries I finally got medication that works for me. However, I've been drinking my medication fairly regularly and I noticed that it doesn't work on days when I feel sad or depressed. I did a quick google search but everything I found was on the effects of medication on mood, and not the other way around. I was wondering if anyone know why this is so? I drink Neucon 54g if that's important.
|
ADHD
|
hello, I have trouble identifying triggers because I almost always have intrusive thoughts, even if often I can no longer define what these intrusive thoughts look like. It's like my brain filled with intrusive thoughts without a real theme. To make it simpler I would say that intrusive thoughts are blurry, is that common?
​
I can't figure out what triggers these thoughts, is that normal in post-traumatic stress?
​
Thank you !
|
ptsd
|
Sorry to the person this was about, it's silly of me to say all this through Reddit.
|
ptsd
|
Like sometimes I feel like I really need a reason to hate myself and want to like cheat on my boyfriend or get black out drunk alone at a bar. I haven’t done either of those things but I used to hookup with a guy that I knew was bad and who made me feel absolutely awful. I would get this same feeling and text him to meet because I just wanted to be able to leave his place and hate myself. I feel so helpless when I can’t go out and make a bad decision: help. Is it a cry for help? Is it a type of self harm? Self Sabotage? How do I stop or satiate the feeling without actually doing something terrible?
|
depression
|
I've been trying hard to get out of this tail-spin that I'm in (and have been for three days now). It's a situation I know how I want to engage once I'm in a clearer head-space, but I can't make decisions while I'm still in "the hole."
I took time off of work (use-it-or-lose-it policies at work aren't helpful) and I'm trying to find things to take my mind off of it.
Could y'all throw out ideas for little adventures that might be helpful for digging out of "the hole"? I'd very much appreciate the help.
|
ptsd
|
I don’t really talk to anyone about my OCD issues because of the stigma and romanticizing surrounding it in our society but I recently started taking Effexor and really have been investing in cognitive behavior therapy both on my own and with my therapist, every single day, and the stuck thoughts/ruminating has actually been more manageable and less distressing. I am so happy I could cry. Thank GOD. I was so miserable and anxious 24/7. I really thought I would never get out of this. I hope it continues to improve. And I hope this gives some hope to someone else.
|
OCD
|
I can't look at kids anymore, I can't see adults the same anymore. I can't do anything without feeling guilty. I can't do anything without feeling like I shouldn't have the privelidge to. I know it's probably just my OCD, afterall, it's what got me here. However, the pain is still there regardless. Magical Thinking, Real Event, POCD, it's all so much to handle. My chest hurts. But I will stay strong. I just wish I didn't have to deal with this, I wish that nobody did.
|
OCD
|
I've got a team meeting coming up in an hour's time and I'll have to complete something before going into the meeting.
The worst part is that I don't know how to do it and I wasn't listening when my manager explained it all over a call.
This is, needless to stay, stressful and anxiety inducing. I can't wait to be done with this week. Not achieving anything of value these days and wouldn't be surprised if I was fired. :((
Edit: I survived
|
ADHD
|
So, backstory, I was medicated for ADHD for about 5 years. Stopped when I was trying to get pregnant, and now have 3 kids. I'm going to be stopping breastfeeding soon though, and am wanting to try to see my doctor here and get on it again. Mostly because lately.. Everythings just been a struggle. I cant find the motivation to do anything. Laundry piles up, dishes don't get done, i didnt even want to leave my house to get groceries last week. I'm not sure if its seasonal depression or ADHD. Normally I've managed okay by setting alarms for literally every little thing I need to do, but I haven't deleted any of my old alarms so all day I'm just getting pinged for things like "pay internet" and "kids doctor appt 10 am" even though I did those last week.
Do any other SAHPs use medication? Is it worth it and does it help without affecting your parenting? Will I be laughed out of the doctors office for wanting medication without using it for work or school? (I am planning to go back to work though, I just lately look at my very old resume and feel so overwhelmed not knowing where to start to get it back in shape so I can even try applying for jobs again).
|
ADHD
|
Going to uni has probably been the worst decision I've ever made. Life has been nothing but downhill the past 3 years and it was already not going great before so. Now I just flunked my final exams for my bachelors. Haven't showed up to class in almost 2 years and somehow thought I could write my papers, just hours before they were due. I feel like I fail at everything I set myself to do. Friendships, relationships, finances, school and even basic human shit like doing the fucking dishes. I can't do anything right.
Will most likely get kicked out of school. Might have to move back home to my parents because I doubt I can get a job with close to no job experience at 23, and an ongoing pandemic. I feel like such a huge failure and burden. My parents would be better off without me, yet they are the only reason I haven't just fucking ended it all. Feeling so lost right now idk what to. I'm scared for the future
|
depression
|
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