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Today I forced down a half a Hawaiian sweet bread roll. I can't stop the suicidal thought maybe I'm just passively trying to kill my self. My stomach won't stop grumbling but I don't want to be alive right now. | depression |
I just really wish someone would sit with me and maybe ask if I was okay, or have any kind of empathy for how much pain I am in when I have a meltdown, but instead I just always get ignored or even punished. Is this just how it is? Or is just the people in my life? | aspergers |
For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with interviewing, even on jobs I KNOW I am qualified or even overqualified for. I think a part of it is underlying anxiety, part of it is my constant issue with speaking too fast... but I also think my rejection sensitivity plays a role. I am so terrified of talking face... | ADHD |
School mental health councilors couldent muster words of motivation better than “just do what makes you happy”. I now feel like all of the therapy I have been through boils down to just that and has been an absolute waste. I have been dealing with depression a long time and so every day has just been trying and, with f... | depression |
Hi, everyone. I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when I was 12-13 years old. I'm currently enrolled as a physics major in a public university. The ongoing issue I've been having relates to how math is taught at a university level. Going through several segments of calculus within a short period of time is extreme... | aspergers |
So I'm on Adderall 15mg XR, and 5mg IR for the days that I need a lil boost (diagnosed a few months ago so still trying to find what works).
I will be talking to my doctor about this, but I was wondering if any of y'all had any experience with this?
So we switched me to XR like 2 weeks after starting medication becau... | ADHD |
Every time I see or read about someone faking ADHD I get mad without realizing it. It's gotten to the point where they don't even have to fake ADHD. I get secondhand angry when I see someone faking something else!
Maybe anger isn't the correct description of what I'm feeling, but it's the closest thing. If I had to d... | ADHD |
What Facebook groups for adults with Asperger Syndrome do you recommend? | aspergers |
I have now realized that my OCD is actually a coping mechanism to "decontaminate" myself of my trauma. Anything that they touch, or place in which they live or are associated with is "contaminated".
I never cared about dirt & germs, or anything outside of this house(I feel great when I go to the grocery store ... | ptsd |
Just want to rant if that's okay.
PTSD makes me have extreme ticks when I remember the very moment I realized my father groomed me in two weeks so he could try to rape me. I remember how I never had a fucking dad my entire life and then suddenly there he was. Spent two weeks with me treating me like his little princ... | ptsd |
Got a good grade on a test? A new promotion at work? Finally finished a chore you've been putting off? We want to hear about it! Let us celebrate your successes with you! | ADHD |
I haven't had a friend in like 7 years and haven't had a conversation in 1.5 years is there any way to fix this? | aspergers |
I was diagnosed early this year with ADHD and have been on meds for 6+ months. Before my ADHD diagnosis, I always tried out different things to manage my symptoms (I called them "flaws" then). I hated every part of me that didn't fit into societal standards for "good" — forgetting things, talking excessively, fearing s... | ADHD |
For the past few months, my depression and intrusive thoughts are at an all time high with most of them being unwanted sexual thoughts or either extremely suicidal thoughts of me harming myself or others harming me due to the guilt of having those unwanted thoughts and it's just making my quality of life just plummet a... | OCD |
Does anyone else deal with this? I know it’s a well known side effect and that concerta can be used to help binge eating but it’s just crazy. It’s like my stomach is hungry but no food is appealing to me. I genuinely can’t eat. Usually later in the day when the meds wear off is when I eat more. But does anyone have way... | ADHD |
A few weeks back I think I was in a bad way. I was admitted to hospital. On deaths door. Wanted out and hated life. After countless phone calls to numerous people saying 'we'll get someone in a contact with you' over and over again I just thought fuck you useless cunts and your bloody piss taking waiting game you're ma... | depression |
I want to remember the good things like funny memories with my friends, and when they bring up an inside joke I dont remember I feel shitty cause i can tell it bums them out. I can never recollect anything from my favorite movies and people think im being pretentious when I say I love a certain movie. They will quote s... | depression |
It feels a long time since I last posted here, distraught, having attempted suicide.
I haven't tried in the past 2 years despite many a sleepless night where I wanted desperately to die.
While I still live on I cannot escape the crushing weight of it. Everyday I wake is a curse and no matter how I try to shift my per... | depression |
Always dealt a shit hand but keep going cause I feel I'm gonna get a good hand eventually, then I get dealt a good hand in life and I go all in and it just crumbles and I'm back at it again with this shit hands lol how much longer can I take it before I give up I wonder.
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oh well time for more alcohol i guess | depression |
I know if you tell your therapist you have a suicide plan you’ll get sent but is there anything else? Last night I was on the verge of self harming last night for the first time but I got scared. If I told my therapist this what would happen? Would I get sent? | depression |
Hello,
I've been diagnosed with OCD for over two years now, it's been quite a journey.
One of my most recent and horribly debilitating themes is harm OCD. It's mostly thoughts about me harming someone else by accident. So I crocheted a bunny (amigurumi) for a friend of mine and I sprayed it with linen spray so it h... | OCD |
Hi all! Recently diagnosed with both ADD and spending/eating compulsions are my biggest issues. I've been lucky enough to avoid getting in debt so far, but I have no savings and this month I'm already at the limit I can spend (...but not my credit cards' limit). I'm also lucky to still be healthy, but I am obese due to... | ADHD |
I (33f) live in California. Most of my family lives in Maine and one sister is in Texas. I love my family. Lately I’ve been getting into these bouts of depression because my family gets together often and I can’t afford to fly across the country. For context I’m a PreK teacher, so I’m obviously not rolling in the dough... | ADHD |
I have nightmares almost all night, every night, caused from PTSD. It leads to me feeling exhausted all day. I sleep too much, averaging 11 hours, and every time I wake up with a racing heart from a nightmare, I fall back asleep and land in another nightmare.
I'd like to try getting up and walking around to calm down ... | ptsd |
I have severe ptsd and i have a 4 yr old daughter long story short my ex has kept her from me 3 years and i have filed over 30 petitions to get rights. I was just denied again today and i have never been suicidal but im honestly considering just giving up. Idk what to do anymore | ptsd |
I’m basically self sabotaging myself so bad almost like I’m trying to make my fiancé break up with me. I keep giving him reasons why he should. I can’t stop, ive done tbis so many times. I don’t want to lose him but I keep trying to get him to leave. | depression |
Nothing ever feels rewarding and I feel like I've never been able to fully immerse myself in the 'here and now' and look at what I've got or what I'm doing through my own present-day eyes.
I feel like I'm only ever looking at what to do next and it always feels overwhelming and too much because it's unachievable ***r... | ADHD |
I have recently met a **young** adult who has disclosed some troubling aspects of her thinking, and I am in a position where I am feeling uncomfortable and unsure about what it could mean.
Hints at sexual trauma ranging from incest to rape have apparently lead her to conclude that her 'morals' are simply not good and ... | ptsd |
(18F)
I’ve been mentally and physically ill for the past 7 years and have intense imposter syndrome about every diagnoses. all of my immediate family are chronically ill and it feels like my dad needs it to be a competition where he can be the only winner
anyway, i’m deteriorating mentally and physically and only hav... | depression |
So - so far, my experience with OCD has been very up and down. Because often when I think I’m making progress, I’m doing something compulsive without realising it.
And I’ve got a plan. What I’ve been doing wrong is, I’ve been trying to deal with all my compulsions at once. This may be more feasible if it’s just a few... | OCD |
I have a really bad case of HIV OCD which I had managed to keep under control and get rid of but recently I went to a chinese doctor/acupuncturist for the treatment of my insomnia as I also suffer from chronic insomnia.
I thought my OCD would be fine and went through with the acupuncture session. Later at night, my OC... | OCD |
Not diagnosed yet but think I might have this.
Not only is the handwashing compulsion really annoying but this week I was cleaning my aquarium and then thought of one of those brain-eating amoebas came up. They have 97% fatality, now it's time to research hours on this during my school's testing season. Literally, now... | OCD |
I've been trying to convince my parents for something, but they keep saying no because I've been bad lately. I often have a hard time behaving and my impulse control is non-existent and I can't control myself from doing things that aren't allowed at home like swearing. If they ask me to do something, I'm sometimes too... | ADHD |
Everytime I know something will happen at some time, I have to struggle a lot to keep my focus. It gets worse when it's uncertain, for example when I know it happens between 5-7 p.m. but not exactly when. It doesn't relate to anxiety, I mean even waiting for trivial things (pizza delivery, when I'm not starving ofc. :D... | ADHD |
I think that flair works for this.
Anyway, the other day, I was sitting in my comfy chair and home, and my cat who is usually outside all the time, I assume because she hates me, had been inside all day, and was sitting on the arm of the chair next to me, taking the form of a hairy loaf. I was eating some kind of gen... | ADHD |
This is gonna be a bit of a long post so sorry.
Basically I was diagnosed with PTSD, Depression and Psychosis going back a few months now. I had some treatment to begin with in the form of EMDR Therapy which worked well to help take some of the distress out of the flashbacks and memories of my past but now it’s comin... | ptsd |
When I cant fucking feel anything wtf.. I would have rather never been born. I don't even feel real. I question if I'm somehow dead because I don't feel alive. I never feel anything positive. Only numbness or very bad feelings. So whats the point. It never gets better don't bs me. Professional help is so useless. I'm s... | depression |
Hello yes hi so ive been in distress for months for not being able to cry so last night i texted my bestie from bacj home to see if i could facetime her andntalk to her about things and when i did i full on started sobbing my eyes out and it was the best feeling ever | ptsd |
Update! So I went to my cvs by my house and they are always so kind there. The other cvs I used to go to where we had our apartment is the next town over. They fired the pharmacist that treated us all as drug addicts
just hate all the restrictions on our meds. I have been on Ritalin concerta and adderall since ag... | ADHD |
I wish my family died. I wish all my friends died. I wish I had nobody. I just want peace.
Humans make me mad. I wish a giant meteor hit the Earth so it wipes out the whole humanity. | depression |
I did an all nighter to finish a project for school. Went to bed 8am and wanted to sleep a bit before class at 12:30
Didn't take my Vyvanse so I could rest and now having huge dopamine crash and I am screaming in my brain to move and go to class but I'm just laying here... Yet somehow I can write this post but not get... | ADHD |
So when I first went to the doctor because I thought I had OCD, she brought me in and talked through what I was feeling. She though that there was a good chance I had it and referred me to a counsellor. With him I filled out loads of forms and questionnaires and had an interview type thing with him. He told me I have ... | OCD |
I just need someone to talk too that I don’t have to pay to help me get through trauma. | ptsd |
hey people i need some help... I've been diagnosed with OCD for a few months now and was on fluoxetine to stop the intrusive thoughts just for my national exams. however I think it's slightly better now and I have stopped taking prozac but I have one issue not sure if cheek biting is due to anxiety or whatever but u kn... | OCD |
I’m 19 and in college, and I’m dropping all of my classes because there’s no way I can get my grades up to what they need to be. (Doing prerequisites for nursing.) I’m sitting waiting to see if I can talk to a counsellor at my college just because I’m on the verge of having a full blown panic attack. My mother doesn’t ... | ADHD |
Ok so I’m 18, in my first year of college, and got my first real job. I can’t save my money so matter what I try and my parents are furious about it which is understandable. I feel so guilty and frustrated at myself and I feel like giving up. I already dropped 3 of my 4 classes only in my first quarter of college. My p... | depression |
EDIT: I'm not really looking to talk about my weight. I am mostly trying to understand if this is a common experience that I'll see at many pychatrists if I continue seeking ADHD meds.
I am new to this subreddit and newly diagnosed. I was excited because I thought I could get somewhere with therapy and medication. I ... | ADHD |
That's it, really. On the surface I look like I don't need help, so I don't receive help. I know it's the same for most other autistic adults, especially if we were only diagnosed as adults.
Yes, I'm pleased that I have decent executive functioning but I hate that it's the only factor people consider when judging my q... | aspergers |
So I've been thinking about receiving help again after like 6 years.
I can remember a time when I was fairly normal, then some nonsense happened at 16\*, I got diagnosed with depression and general/seperation anxiety at I wanna say 18? They gave me meds, I saw a therapist, etc normal stuff. After a year or so I decide... | depression |
hell yeah we out here lookin fam
real threat assessors only | ptsd |
How do you know when you're dealing with actual depression? When does whining and self loathing (which are treated as self-inflicted) turn into depression? I don't know if I'm just being a drama queen or if I'm dealing with something more serious. All I know is I don't recall being this down for this long before. And i... | depression |
I’ve found this to be the top tip in helping me clean. I’ll spend what feels like hours cleaning, only to look over and feel like I did nothing.
Now, I make sure to take before photos, after photos, and then look at them side by side - and I can ALWAYS see the difference. It’s also highly motivating; it’s almost as if... | ADHD |
I feel more rigid than a caveman with a phone placed in current times. Sure, I can accept, try many things, but I'm like waiting for emotions/mood to just switch solely because of that. After a while it's again: "No! I'm not like that, wtf am I doing?" and get back to conservative routine and limited thinking - that st... | aspergers |
It's almost Christmas and I feel numb. I graduate next year and I feel numb. I have friends and family who love me and I feel numb. I have a partner who adores me and I feel numb. I wake up and I feel numb. Is there anything that can make me feel anything anymore? | depression |
I've been on a couple of other ADHD meds before (generic versions of ritalin and dexedrine) and they didn't do anything, even after several dose raises. I have absolutely no idea what I'm supposed to be looking out for, if I'm supposed to feel different or something.
it's definitely doing *something*, my appetite is ... | ADHD |
can somebody say what medication they are on and how it has changed their function and compare the different types?
also, is there a way that I can show the psychiatrist that I need it?
im worried that after so long trying to get an appointment they will decide that I don’t need it, I need to find a way to show how... | ADHD |
You know that feeling you get. Where you chest just feels so heavy yet entirely empty all at the same time..? I'm there right now and really really don't want to do anything stupid but I'm having trouble even typing this because my eyes keep watering.
I got a damn speeding ticket but I swear I wasn't going as fast as... | depression |
So it's 2018 (I was 24), and I'm falling apart because my dad (best friend) has killed himself 6 months before. 6 months before that my wife asked for a devorce (something that broke my heart). I can't seem to get it together. I'm not doing anything crazy just slowly developing my alcoholism. I'm at my step mothers hou... | depression |
I've only been able to resist / stop compulsing a few times in my life. I remember feeling like shit while compulsing, literally telling myself to stop in my head, knowing it's unhealthy but I just couldn't stop until I felt satisfied..
I'm going on 20, started showing symptoms at 8 and I've never felt as good as I fe... | OCD |
I don't want to die, I just don't want to live either. I'm tired all the time and just want to law on the marble floor all day.
I use to like painting minis, I use to like kick boxing, I use to like certain games. I can't bring myself to do any of it anymore.
I feel sick half the time, and everyone keeps pressuring... | depression |
Do you see others with ADHD succeeding and feel like, even though you also have it you’re just especially lazy?
I am 25 and was diagnosed primarily inattentive type last year. If I look objectively a lot of my behaviour makes sense, but I still feel like i’m making excuses and I’m just an inherently lazy person unrela... | ADHD |
I am so fucked.
Given, I fucked myself with failing 2 times. First time was due to dumbness, second was due to depression, nervousness and too much adrenaline.
Now they give me an oral exam instead of a test. I looked up how this shit works, and apparently, it's not just "do you know X" this time, but rather I have t... | aspergers |
For the vast majority of sufferers, HOCD turns out to be false.
But for me it turns out I was actually Bi (more on the gay side). But my OCD made me repress that side of myself until I was 17. And even then I was slow in exploring it.
Ironically now my OCD is making me worry about the wasted time, that *OCD* made me... | OCD |
Since season 4 starts today (9th July) I was wondering what other people on the spectrum thought of the show.
I enjoy the show, my main issues are the unrealistic amount of support Sam gets / the amount support available to Sam. I find the portrayal Keir Gilchrist does of a young man with autism to be accurate of an ... | aspergers |
Hey guys, I know this is a really stupid thing to be stressed about, but I'm absolutely breaking down about it :( sorry for it being long, TL;DR at bottom
I have ADHD on top of my depression and it's making it so, so difficult for me to keep my daily hygiene routine up. I think I could manage to keep it going, but wha... | depression |
Could anyone please tell me why living life is worth it and why i shouldnt take my life, this is the 2nd time everything is falling apart for me and i dont think i can take it anymore | depression |
I cannot believe that I have dealt with this disorder for upwards of two decades and, within 12 weeks, it almost disappears! I was convinced that I would have to live with it forever. Thank you CBT, BLESS THE NHS!
I still have OCD but I feel much much more in control of it, and as a consequence the subconscious urge t... | OCD |
I'm trying to make my way through an anime and it's just so incredibly tedious. I think I'm enjoying watching this. But whenever something crosses my mind, I'd have to go and do google searches, then I would be lost for a long time before finally returning to watch the show and by then I would have forgotten most of th... | ADHD |
All I can think about is how insignificant and inferior I am | depression |
I just wanted to express my appreciation for this subreddit and everyone in it. None of you are alone! I'm so grateful to be able to exchange feelings and support with you all. This disorder is extremely heavy on the body mind and spirit but I am praying for us all. Each day feels like we can't continue, the thoughts, ... | OCD |
Or perhaps you always feel as if your time's running out and you drive yourself to be an overacheiver knowing that most people may not posess such mental capacities as you.
And therefore resources must be used "productively".
This may lead terms such as "relaxing" losing any meaning it may once have had.
Do You Poses... | aspergers |
I'm gonna go to get diagnosed on thursday and now I just started wondering if I really have ADHD. I mean I feel a big struggle in my life with simple tasks and I'm exhausted and sad cause everybody keeps saying ,,youre smart you just don't want to use your brain!", and I get frustrated quickly cause everybody in my cla... | ADHD |
Hi all,
I have been diagnosed with OCD and Asperger's/autism. However, I have a strong gut feeling that there's something else wrong with me - like bipolar or a borderline personality disorder. I don't want to have these labels attached to me, but I know there's something else not quite right with me. My moods change ... | aspergers |
I'm an Indian girl with ADHD and a lot of people don't seem to understand my experiences. The main issue is that fact that South Asian cultures tend to put such high pressure on us to succeed and become overachievers. Asians are seen as the "model minority" and it puts us in such a huge burden. I'm an engineering major... | ADHD |
[Here's last week's Solitude Project Saturday](https://old.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/pqo658/solitude_project_saturday_what_projects_are_you/)
**So, /r/aspergers, what projects do you have on the go right now? Any ideas on the backburner for one reason or another? Any ideas just in the planning phase?** Even if y... | aspergers |
Is it ocd for me to need to “check myself” for example I’ll look at a little girl inappropriately and I can’t control but I think it’s a compulsion to check if I do like it. One big incident with this happening that I feel terrible about is that I was in line behind a girl who was about 10 and I’m 14. I unnecessarily t... | OCD |
My main issue is paying attention in conversation when I am not interested in the topic, e.g. someone telling me a story about a novel - I weave in and out of listening. And it this behavior is not exclusive to my personal life, same issue at work.
However, some days are better than others I can focus and concentrat... | ADHD |
I often wonder if the triggers I have are stupid. Two of my most aggressive triggers are medical facilities and ants. Now let me explain: When I was a kid, I was bitten over 100 times (all at once) by fire ants on my legs. I had swelling in my legs for weeks that eventually spread to the rest of my body. Several doctor... | ptsd |
Do you ever feel off? Like you aren’t yourself? I feel so disconnected from my surroundings sometimes. | OCD |
Apparently I have symptoms of trauma (dissociation 24/7, dislike of touch, disinterest in relationships, depression, suicidal, no positive outlook, etc) but I don't remember anything traumatic. I've had bad things happen in life, things that other people have said are traumatic but I don't think about them. I have no n... | ptsd |
I'll give some background about me before venting a little bit. When I was 3 years old I was diagnosed with a number of learning disabilities with only an intelligence in the higher percentile as a bit of a counterweight. I have ADD, Autism, NLD, Dyspraxia and have struggled with it during my time at school, and though... | ADHD |
Nobody understands that I can’t just make myself study, or that no planner is going to be helpful if I lose the motivation to use it 3 weeks in.
It’s hard to implement most of the advice in the first place due to executive dysfunction. So I’m pretty much asking for ways to trick myself into productivity. | ADHD |
Im 17 years old and has been suffering from ocd ever since i was 7 my ocd has taken many fears like fear that i would harm my loved ones or fear that i suffer from schizophrenia and etc but now every time im in a confrontation i have to analyze it wondering what if im wrong what if i started it also my mind messes wit... | OCD |
There are three people in our friend group. S (25, F), V (26, F), and me (25, F). We've met in school and been friends for 10+ years. V has been struggling with depression for a while with both good and bad periods depending on medication and life in general. But it's been getting worse and more dangerous lately, and w... | depression |
Before I start to get dissociative symptoms, I’ve noticed I’ll stop singing to myself (especially when at home). Do you have similar tells? | ptsd |
Not with asd, high-functioning autism or aspergers, but with a social phobia, dysthymia and recurring depressive episodes (double depression).
I’m a 24 year old woman and this diagnosis is throwing me off kilter. Many things make sense. My struggles to make eye contact or find the right time and amount to speak, my soc... | aspergers |
emotional manipulation?
im not going into any details but one of my friend (online friend) was obviously ignoring me (mid 2019 to this day) and eachh time i asked them if they were in fact, ignoring me and they would always say no. we had a few arguments about this and it made me feel like i was being selfish until in... | ptsd |
I've come to realize that all those years in special Ed was because I am. I've always enjoyed video games but lately I've gotten pretty bored of gaming. I was playing Minecraft today and realized that I'm no good at building anything creative or building something worth remembering forever.
I'm not creative in any way... | depression |
Hello autistic lady here. I have bad spd and would like to buy glasses to filter out bright light. Are there any glasses specially made for this? Please give me your recommendations. | aspergers |
i am in serious danger of becoming homeless, and every application i put in is denied because ive never worked a real job because i took care of my older family members my entire adult life, and now that they are all gone and i am alone in the world i am in severe danger of losing the home ive lived in since i was 9, a... | ADHD |
I’ve been recovering from my depression with my new meds, but I just want that strange comfort that depression gives me. I don’t know why and I don’t understand why. I feel safe in sadness. | depression |
I have been depressed for so much time feeling like walking garbage everyday of my life all I wanted to do was die honestly. I felt bad that i didn’t have friends or a girlfriend, I felt completely alone in this world. My parents siblings everyone abandoned me. No shoulder to cry on. My own damn dad jokes about me comi... | depression |
I'm so close to just opening up and letting my personal life become public.
My dating life is ruined , I know it and everyone around me knows it. I have so much doubts around my sexuality that I doubt if I'm attracted to her.
What should I do , are there actually women out there willing to give a guy a chance with t... | OCD |
This might sound really odd but since trauma maths equations has been so hard for me, my head just sort of freezes and I forget how to work the equation out
I am not stupid I know maths when I need it in my everyday life but sitting and working out equations I just mentally have struggled ever since irk if this is rel... | ptsd |
I used to have nightmares about my abuser. Now in my dreams we just act like a regular couple and I always have an idea something is wrong but I can’t remember what. I’m tired of hanging out with him Everytime I sleep. I’m afraid to sleep. Anyone have any tips? | ptsd |
Has anyone tried out Spectrum Singles (or any other dating site for autistic people)? I'd like to try out dating again (for the millionth time) and don't have a great track record with NTs... | aspergers |
So lately when I try to lay down I get these random sayings and bits of conversations that are completely random and made up but it sounds like strangers. I've heard a random man, a woman of color talking to someone (but not who she was talking to it was just briefly her saying something and it wasn't directed at me)
... | OCD |
I'm so angry. I don't want my best friend to be friends with this guy anymore. He hurt me a lot in the past, I forgave him and now he's back again being shitty to me.
I told him I don't want him to be friends with them anymore, that I wanted him by my side. I might be being a jerk, but all I want is my friend by my... | depression |
I checked myself in little less than two weeks ago into a mental hoapital because I was at a really bad place mentally, as I started to cut and have more self-harm desires. I spent the entirety of the 8 days sedated.
This isn't the first time I'm in a mental hoapital, it's the third. The last two were due to suicide a... | depression |
How I got the job:
I am freaking out. I’ve had “jobs” before but they were family businesses and I already knew the people through my mom so it wasn’t really a full job cause I’d kinda show up when I wanted to. Anyway I applied to a bunch of jobs before and never got a reply and so I gave up and deleted the indeed ap... | aspergers |
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