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People with OCD, tell us about your strangest obsessions.
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OCD
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So I get really grossed out by things. Mold, dust, things floating in water, ect . Its so bad that if something gets dusty ill just ignore it and wish it to go away. Or I cannot be in the presence of mold because I am deathly afraid im going to get the plague. No matter how unreasonable the thought is. this an ocd thing? Or am I just weird haha
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OCD
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The last days i am obsessing about a scenario that worries me , which tbh makes absolutely no sense and in no way could it become true (i guess) , i have also asked a friend and they tell me the same , and in general it sounds extremely stupid but despite that my mind is acting as if its for granted that i am fucked.
It is impossible for me to calm down and think logically. I would love to be able to travel forward to time just to reassure myself that everything went alright.
On the other hand my mind tells me that not only i should be worried because my fear became true , but that it's also logical to be afraid because its an important issue. I would love to tell you about my issue to take it off my chest but then my brain will convince me that i shouldn't have done that and i will have a new obsession to add to my list , so I can't tell you all the details. My fear tho has to do with me losing a lot of money.
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OCD
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Anyone else feel tired and it seems like no one cares about your well being. I am surrounded by people but always feel alone or think that I am just existing next to people. I feel like this for years, but always manage to buckle up. Then suddenly circumstances occur and I am set back no matter how hard I try to overcome these feelings. How am I supposed to build a life if a get thrown back with my sanity??? Something has to change but I dont know what.
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depression
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I’m currently 24 and a little lost, in Uni right now but don’t know what I’m doing
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aspergers
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I attribute it to the feeling of "falling asleep" or getting a weird tingly sensation, not sure how to describe it. It feels jittery but also like time just moves slowly. I guess my body doesn't feel intact. Anyone know how to describe this feeling? I am going to take my medication again because it feels too weird. I don't do any drugs or drink much alcohol. I only get this sensation when I am off of Adderall.
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ADHD
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24F. Currently sitting in the work bathroom. I’m in so much emotional pain, I can’t comprehend it. No specific reason why. Just me and my fucked up brain. But that isn’t a good enough answer for people. They think that because I don’t have a reason, my pain isn’t real. That hurts.
I don’t know how I’m going to continue on but I’m also not going to off myself so I don’t know what to do. I guess just float here until it’s my time.
I just want to be happy so desperately. Everything hurts. I don’t understand the point of staying.
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depression
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I know this sounds really ridiculous but when I really like something I keep getting fears that I will stop enjoying it all of sudden or even forget it even if I’ve following it for a couple of years and my personality will change into liking other things. I also get these type of fears when someone says they don’t like whatever the thing that I Iike.
Edit: Added more info
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OCD
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I've luckily not had an episode like this for a good while but I just find them the worst thing ever. I've never been especially suicidal but the majority of my episodes are just a lot of rumination, a lot of isolating myself from everyone and everything and a severe lack of motivation, all combined with the apathy and negative feelings that leave me in bed.
However, having energy while being depressed is the worst because (in my case), it starts off pretty positively. I will start doing things that I have been putting off, or this may be me starting something new. But as soon as one thing goes awry, that's when things shift gear. The motivation turns into restless anger, or the type of anger where I have to hit out at something. I try hitting items like pillows but feel extremely pathetic and weak, then I scream and feel that I can't even scream right. Seeing as I need to hit out at something, I then turn on myself. It's an onslaught of different attacks on myself with so many different tools and techniques but I feel that I can't do any of them "right". I can't hit hard enough, I can't cut deep enough (they're more just pathetic scratches), I can't choke myself hard enough, and I honestly feel like doing something bad to myself out of the spontaneous anger in the moment. Last time I did this, I got out of my house and just ran and ran as hard as I could and the feeling soon got away. This was in January and luckily I haven't done this since then.
I want to say that I have not been formally diagnosed so I won't claim to be depressed, but I'm about 80% I am. I'm afraid of my doctor not taking me seriously as they are notoriously bad at everything, and would very likely blame it on my hormones. I know deep down though that this can't be normal. It's effecting me a lot as I'm constantly falling behind in everything and feeling that I'm missing out on so much.
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depression
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Me and my girlfriend (24M & 22F) have been together now for 8 months. It's a serious relationship, we love eachother and plan on moving in with eachother by next year. She has sexual trauma for her past and has acted out that trauma in a sexual manner with others later before we met. We've discussed the source of it and how she dealt with it in a negative way later in her life but have barely got into details. She's been to a therapist before and was diagnosed with PTSD. A little after we started seeing eachother she stopped seeing her therapist. I don't have any trauma or know anybody who has been through something similar besides and ex who never talked about it, but nonetheless I was supportive of.
She's used to being around people with similar issues and discussing what's happened in detail. She's made it clear from the get-go that she "over shares" as she calls it with others about the source of the trauma and acting it out. She's admitted before that talking about the trauma in detail helps her, but part of her feels terrible for putting it on other people to think about. It does feel terrible. I honestly hate hearing about it; it's incredibly uncomfortable and makes me feel helpless (it doesn't help that her family have been fucking useless when trying to be supportive when she's reached out to them). But whenever she's had flashbacks or has mentioned something is triggering I've always been there to do whatever I can to comfort her and try to pull her back to here and now where she's safe. I love her dearly and want to give my time to her and be there when these things happen, because I can't fathom the way it feels to go through this.
Last-night we talked about it again, it started out with a little spat but we came to an understanding and hugged it out. I expressed that I felt guilty for saying this and felt like a total asshole, but I don't need or want to hear the details about what's happened when she's having a flashback or something triggers those thoughts. I just want to hear that it's happening so I can comfort and be there for her, try and let her feel that's she's safe right now. I told her that I understand talking about it helps cope, but I'm not the one to hear that. Again, I feel guilty for even saying this because I don't want her to feel like I'm shutting down her emotions.
Before anyone suggests or asks, we've discussed therapy and she's agreed she needs to be seeing a therapist again. She's actively trying to find a therapist that specializes in this type of trauma.
Part of this post is for venting because I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to about this. I also want to know is it wrong for me to feel this way about not wanting to hear about the trauma? She mentioned what I feel is valid and she'll try not to let the details slip out but I still feel guilty and horrible. Has anyone been in a similar situation? I'd love to hear about what's helped with this sort of thing.
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ptsd
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Ocd is like a micro manager at work, in multiple ways but the way I'm thinking of is like you know how when you don't have much to do at work they will FIND you something to do. Oh looks like you don't have any problems at the moment, life is going decent, well since you want to stand around and enjoy yourself here's a few what if problems for you. You want to take your bathroom break at work? OCD Micromanager doesn't care, it tells you, you should be working on the toilet
Ocd is a micromanager that hardly will let you have a break. When your not worried about bills and work and all the others things life throws at you, well here you go you lazy fuck what if X happens if you don't do Y.
You can hardly catch a break with ocd. If you do want to catch a break with ocd, something that really helps is doing a good passion. For me, it's wood working, gaming, biking, running, something that really helps you stay in the moment. I encourage everybody to go out and do something you love. I just put up a birdhouse in the forest and am currently sitting on a rock next to it.
It's not at all times you'll be able to catch a break from it, even while putting it up it was driving me crazy, but today had been very hard. This morning I had a thought that I fed into and now it's telling me X will happen if you don't do Y.
Well fuck you ocd. I have been a slave to you for so long and I'm still going to try to push and go do the things I love.
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OCD
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We are gonna be okay.
Our random thoughts don’t define us.
Our failure to meet some random requirement we made to pay for something “bad that we did” will not harm us.
We are gonna be okay.
I’ve been having a really tough day with these kinda thoughts so I just wanted to point out the absurdity of it all and that we’re gonna be okay.
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OCD
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I’m neurotypical, so it’s hard to see where he’s coming from. For context, my husband is a wonderful singer and is trying to become a professional performer. I would say he’s obsessed with singing and being the best, and constantly improving. He was cast in a show this weekend in a role that pushes his voice to the very edge of his range. It’s very difficult. Tonight was the final dress rehearsal and he juuuuust barely cracked his voice. I swear no one else noticed it but him and I. He was so so angry with himself. He believes he cannot ever make a mistake or else he’s worthless and talentless. Encouragement only makes him more mad. He doesn’t want to hear if someone thinks he still did a good job, or that they’re proud of him despite the mistakes, or that he’ll get it next time. He told me he wants someone to rip him apart and critique the daylights out of him and make him feel worthless. His words exactly. I asked him “why?” He said “it would make me confident.” I don’t understand at all. Every time he makes a mistake he has to be almost verbally abusive to himself to get past it. His standards for himself are absolutely impossible to meet. I can’t understand. I’m very good at giving myself grace and forgiving mistakes while also learning from them. What can I say or do to help? I’m at a loss.
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aspergers
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Anyone else feel like you don’t deserve to report creepers/stalkers due to your own mentally ill/hyper-sexual/creepy past?
I went to a support group where I unfortunately experienced some sexualization by three men who leered at my body parts. One married man lustfully stared at me and got mad/sad when I set a boundary. One man got a boner in the middle of the meeting as I was passionately talking and later held the door for me to stare at my butt. One man stared at my legs, then waited for me while I was alone, and then asked where I lived. This was creepy and inappropriate especially at a support group when I had already shared vulnerable information such as my cPTSD diagnosis.
I was traumatized from the experience and reported it but have been wondering if it was a mistake to report.. wondering if I brought it on myself on an unconscious level even though it was not my intention. I am still working on my social skills from trauma from childhood (cPTSD) and I think when the men first met me, they thought I was creepy myself for not following social etiquette as I was super anxious and was self hugging and doing/saying awkward things. I Also Was being very passionate about what we were discussing and maybe my “mmhmm” and “mmm” when agreeing, sounded like sex noises/moaning which prompted them to get into a sexual mindset. I mean maybe the men felt like I was leading them on and flirting so is it really their faults??
Due to my child sexual abuse history, I often felt I had to interact with men by sexualizing myself when I was younger in order to be liked and cared for. I stopped doing this behavior once I went through therapy almost 3 years ago now. But I worry that I was doing the same thing on accident sometimes to a certain degree and caused some of their behaviors? One of the men was scaring me and I was probably fawning and he got the wrong idea.
Also due to my past of being obsessive and inappropriate publicly with men (not anymore though), it feels weird that I am now reporting men who had similar hyper sexual behavior I exhibited. I feel bad knowing that they are going to get in trouble a bit and I worry they are going to think I am the crazy one. I can still have compassion for them and hold them accountable.
I am trying to hold the fact that just because I have been creepy/hyper sexual/mentally ill in my past (due to copying my creepy sexual abusers through trauma re-enactment), does not mean it is OK for men to sexually harass and abuse me. And it was their choice to sexually harass me even if they felt led on (even though it was not my intention at all—I was not interested any of the men).
Anyone else relate? Support/advice would be appreciated!
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ptsd
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Hello,
My girlfriend recently got diagnosed with OCD. Sometimes she tends to get into her own space and almost shut me out. It kind of sucks but I understand she needs her space. The diagnosis is pretty new and I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to best support her?
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OCD
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(21M) last week i started dating a girl, we are both super enthusiastic about our relationship, which is great, i even told her that i tend to get very intense and passionate when it comes to relationships, because i just “feel too much” and she said she understands, and she likes it!! (she has ADHD too).
the problem is, i can’t stop overthinking every single detail, every message i send her, it leaves me wondering “what if she takes that the wrong way?”, “what if she doesn’t like that?”, “what if she thinks i’m going too fast?” and it terrifies me, i just want to have some mental peace, but the “what if” don’t leave my mind, they’re there all the time, over analyzing every single thing i’ve said and she has said even when i don’t want my mind to do that, which is exhausting.
can anyone relate to this? i’d love to get some advice or hear your stories, thank you everyone!
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ADHD
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Hi! I'm a sophomore in college currently studying computer science, however, I no longer have an interest in programming. A few months ago I was constantly starting (not exactly finishing) tons of programing projects and really enjoying it. I was even trying to find freelance jobs to break into the field! Now however I can't bring myself to even start a project and instead have been obsessing over aviation. I've recently gone as far as to pick up a full time job (im also a full time student) as a ramp worker and am loving it but a few days ago a scarry realization happened.
While a computer science degree is still applicable in aviation it's still not ideal and has set me back a little. While I was thing about that it made me realize I haven't been able to hold down an interest and career path for over a year.
This scares the crap out of me since any good paying job requires time and effort to get into, I'm worried I'm doomed to always be the new guy or have bad jobs.
I'm currently looking into medication but I've heard that it doesn't help this aspect of ADHD. Is this true and if not what can I do?
I really want to be able to live a somewhat normal life but I can't see myself hoping jobs while being successful. It's freeking me out.
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ADHD
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So at school, we had this class every Wednesday afternoon where we would sit and read a book for the whole hour. I hated it with all my heart because I stopped reading for pleasure as soon as I was about 11 and I got bored to tears every one of these periods. The only time we were allowed to get up out of our seats was when the teacher was marking our logs that had information about how much home reading we had done that week (it had to be an hour or more, else we would get detention).
One day, I settled down for this hour of hell, got my book out of my bag and started staring at the words, hyperfocused on my own thoughts when the teacher called me up to mark my log. I complied and went up front to give it to her when she asked me a question and I just froze. Just stopped and stared. I could hear the class asking me what was wrong but I couldn’t snap out of it. It felt like my vision zoomed in and my senses were heightened and I didn’t know what to do until I slowly fazed back in after a good few seconds and said something like “I didn’t know what you were referring to”. There’s no phrase to justify something like that when you barely know yourself.
I took the walk of shame back to my seat, everyone staring at me, and buried my head in my book, dying inside a little. “Not only had I just done that unexplainable thing that got everyone really uncomfortable but everyone was staring and laughing”. I can’t forget that now lol
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aspergers
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Hi everyone, first time poster here.
So, I’ve been depressed since high school even though I didn’t do anything about it before last year. I’m currently on Brintellix/Trintellix and lamictal and I’m feeling good, no huge anxiety attacks or very sad moments anymore, but that might be because my feelings are dulled anyway - up until now. This weekend I had a strong fever, like one you have when you’re a child. I can’t remember last time I had one of these as I’m very rarely sick. The funny thing is that, while laying in bed, almost unable to move and just suffering from the fever pain, I actually felt good. I feel like I had feelings. I could feel the warmth of my gfs hugs, the chills I got from a movies climax, the sound of the rain made me calm. I even felt like my brain started working again as well, as I suddenly understood some problems I had struggled with in MySQL while laying in bed in the middle of the night. I’m still not feeling well even though the fever has gone down, but I still have this feel good feeling. I feel things I haven’t felt since I was a child! The feelings that I remember having as a young boy and feelings that suddenly disappeared when I got into high school.
I’m a pragmatic so I just think it’s brain chemistry. Is it the temperature affecting my brain? Is it some things that got unclogged? Anyone that might understand why it is like this so I maybe could fix it?
Thank you
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depression
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It's always exciting finding a new interest. I've been down so many rabbit holes recently finding out about spiders and evolution. I keep revisiting topics on geodes and of course space and biology. Things that I wasn't really interested in as a kid. I want to know what other topics people here find fascinating.
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ADHD
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Hi all, so I've been checking out this subreddit for the past 8 months\~ or so since discovering I may have had ADHD. Ever since then, I discovered I had ADHD myself, seeked out medication, and did as much extensive research on the subject, and its been quite the wild rollercoaster full of ups and downs. In that time I also learnt that I really did love learning about adhd as I found how much it has really impacted my life, and I really do enjoy explaining the ins and outs of adhd to friends, families, and those who are interested. My biggest goal currently is finding some sort of long term career, and I'm curious if I could help others with adhd as I know how tough as struggling being a person with adhd is, and how disappointing the mental health industry can be.
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ADHD
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Though I can't since I had speech delay and went to speech therapy when I was a little kid, still can't say some words properly in Finnish because of the letter g, like "kengät" (shoes). I said that and my therapist still talks about aspergers which is odd... Just high functioning would be better though they are all really the same thing, and in DSM-5 it's just ASD. I'm 22F and this is now the second therapist who thinks I have it and it's making me anxious. She made me fill these papers at first, I got 41/50, and now she wants me to get actually tested. VERY anxious about it, I'm terrible with tests especially when there's a timer I just freeze and get nothing done, and this is a big process which makes it worse.
I've been reading about this, and I noticed a lot of the "symptoms" feel way too familiar. Like being very uncomfortable with change even the smallest of things, I feel like even with the smallest change it won't stop, more small things keep changing and then the world won't function the same for all of us, having sensory issues with light, sound and touch (especially touch, I can't use creams ESPECIALLY on my hands without feeling extreme discomfort, I hate hugs or any kind of touch from other people but it can be okay if there's a lot of pressure and it's someone who's very close to me, I wash my hands constantly, it usually takes me a lot of time to tie my shoes because the pressure isn't the same on both of my feet, I'm clumsy, I can't sit without something on my lap like my other leg or a bag or sleep without a heavy blanket because without it I feel like I'm semi floating), not understanding social situations, I like to be alone most of the time but I also want to have friends and feel like I belong but I've never felt that way, I like and prefer routine but because of my depression that I've had for most of my life it's hard to follow, which then makes me very anxious if I don't. Only routine I've kept on doing is my skin care routine (just face and neck tho because again, creams and moisturizers anywhere else make me very uncomfortable).
I feel like these things have just gotten worse over the years (and I've read that's a thing as you get older and the autism hasn't been recognised). I have addiction problems too so I'd have to be sober before I see any neurologists. The fucking anxiety of it.. idk if I can do it, but the thought of all this becoming worse and also not knowing if I have it or not is bothering me and making me very worried about my future. Should I be thinking that I have it? What should I do? Anyone else here who's going through the same thing?
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aspergers
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Hi everyone,
Before I get into this, I have gone to the hospital twice and had a doctors appointment and they don’t know what this is. I want to see if anyone else has a similar experience.
I’ve been taking Vyvanse for 3 years now, and all of a sudden this month I’ve been experiencing these weird symptoms whenever I take Vyvanse every day. Normally, I would experience a crash around 1:00-4:00pm but now it’s a lot worse. I feel out of my body, like I’m gonna faint/pass out, my arms feel very heavy, I get weak and tired, when looking at my phone screen it “looks weird”. My perception is “off”. I don’t know how to explain it but it almost seems like dissociation. It’s similar to the typical Vyvanse crash but it’s a lot worse. I can’t study while this happens, I can’t focus, and I feel so strange and out of it. Whatever this is, it goes away after I stop taking Vyvanse for a day. It comes back on the second day of taking it again.
For context, I eat throughout the day, drink lots of water, I sleep 8-10 hours per night. The doctor said all my blood levels were normal, ECG is normal, vital signs are normal, etc.
Has anyone else experienced something similar to this?
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ADHD
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I don't have any purpose. No kids. Career never got started. Used to be into sports but arthritis stopped that.
I wake up. Another pointless day. Go back to bed.
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depression
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Why is encore so hated? I listened to it for the first time a few days ago. I loved it instantly. I'll admit I probably liked the most hated songs for some reason such as Rain Man, Big Weenie, Puke, My First Single. Most people seem to say if the album didn't include these songs the album would be passable, but honestly I think these songs define what the album is about. Just having fun and screwing around with rap, not taking it too seriously. Imo It really is underrated and deserves another chance.
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aspergers
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ocd always comes, it eventually has to come and ruin my life for a while. Today i spent all the time (nearly 6 hours and a half) from the moment i woke up to a while ago, just thinking and obsessing. And it is still coming back but i deal with it my way, and im tired. I thought i finally had a chance to live free from my own mind, my head is weird, im feeling drained and tired, my teeth have something wrong with them which im sure is a result of all the stress, i feel so tired. why i cant just get to have a new chance at life without ocd, i will not waste that, i seriously cant wait to die and dont want to exist again at all costs, i dont want to ever worry about something ever i just want to be in peace, i wanted to live "healthy" but now i really feel like drinking and smoking and eating shit unhealthy food so i can die faster. i cant imagine living with this for one more year
im just tired, very very very tired and i dont know what to do anymore
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OCD
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I’m curious if anyone else with ptsd has ever requested flight accommodations, how you request, and what options are available? I don’t have a service dog.
I’ve traveled in the past and I do okay, but somethings might be helpful for me. Possibly pre-boarding could be a help, as crowds aren’t my favorite.
Anywho just a random thing I’m wondering about. If you have any experience I’d be interested to hear it.
Flying with WestJet. I looked a little on their website, but I found it difficult to understand.
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ptsd
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Today I woke up to my mother shouting at me that I’m useless and my father telling me that I never do anything. And the part that hurts most is that knowing nobody will ever like me or even appreciate me if my on family doesn’t I feel like me killing my self sometimes but I know I shouldn’t since then I would be on gods bad side and all I want to do is be on his good side
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depression
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Hey there! So I've been diagnosed with Asperger's autism (I personally just call myself autistic nowadays) since I was very young, but in the past couple of years I've done a lot more research on OCD. Over the years I've had some symptoms that could be attributed to either -- namely, specific counting rituals and perfectionism -- but when I was a teen I began to notice behaviors that seemed beyond autism, such as an irrational fear of being abusive and constant begging for reassurance. I'm still not diagnosed with OCD yet (haven't had time to consult a psychiatrist who's willing to do anything but throw meds at me), but it explains things better than any other disorder I've studied.
Does anybody else have advice or experience to share when it comes to how autism and OCD intertwine? I always worry that I could be overreacting and it'd help more to hear from others familiar with this particular comorbidity.
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OCD
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I am in my 40s and I suspect I might have some form of undiagnosed ADD.
In particular, having hard time to pay attention to most conversations. Lenghty monlogues are the worst, especially by non native English speakers. English is my second language and my aptitude and processing speed is already at a lower level than in my mothers tongue (German).
Think it hurts my reputation as manager at my company, and I am afraid if I change jobs this could bite me in the butt big time.
However if I lead the conversation with my topics, at least it interests me enought to retain focus.
This web-meeting culture due to C19 made it even worse for me.
Were you diagnosed later in life, received meds and this helped you to become more productive and overcome what held you back?
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ADHD
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I know this might be a little long but I'd be super grateful if anyone took the time to read this and reply
I'm 16 and I've had intrusive thoughts about children for two months now.
In the beginning i had a bunch of anxiety to the point where i would sometimes start disassociating and all the thoughts disgusted me. But gradually the anxiety and disgust went down.
Now two months later. I'm currently on 50mg setraline a day and on a waiting list for help with an ocd specialist.
Lately I've developed kind of a porn addiction and have been masturbating 3 to 5 times a day for about 3 weeks.
I also do a bunch checking compulsion. I will imagine myself having sex with someone my age and then someone underage to check for arousal, and also the other way around. And I'll look up pictures of someone underage and someone my age to check for attraction.
3 or 4 days ago i was on this girl's instagram page who i find very attractive. (She's also 16) I had been on her page earlier the same day i believe and, had masturbated to a few pics of her. Anyway, i was on her page again and doing my thing and i noticed that she recently had posted a few pics of her as a child. I was already aroused because i was masturbating and decided to do a checking compulsion. So i looked at a pic of her as a child and masturbated while imagining having sex with her. (Yeah i know gross) and i came very close to climaxing so i stopped. It was chocking how fast i almost came compared to the usual stuff i had been masturbating too. After i almost came i went back to the other pics of her as a teen, but after a while (I DON'T REMEMBER AT ALL WHY, I DON'T REMEMBER MY MIND SET) i went back to the picture of her as a child, did the same thing and finished. I don't understand why i did, i am so confused. I felt guilty afterwards but it didn't fully hit until later and i started crying hysterically.
I've always liked girls my age!! I've had multiple crushes and multiple sexual fantasies about girls I've liked!! I don't understand why i did this. It's so far detached from the person i am ,or at least used to be before this started. I've never thought of a child in any sexual way before this started and would never ever EVER hurt a child!! I just feel like I've permanently stained my self image.
What does this mean?? I am so confused. Ever since then I've decided to stop watching porn because i think it has majorly desensitized me to women. I've also since then refused to do any checking compulsion but the intrusive thoughts still bother me.
I can't believe i did that and it grosses me out remembering i did that. Honestly wtf.
I still really hope this is pocd because it definitely was in the beginning but now I'm not sure. Has anyone else had a similar experience when the attraction feels extremely real??
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OCD
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I feel like I've been dealing with obsessive thoughts most of my life. If I could find a treatment for them or even gain a better understanding of them that would be awesome. How do I go about doing that?
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OCD
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So I'm 31. I spent a long time in denial about having ADHD. I was a product of a 90's upbringing, taught that there was nothing wrong with me despite a diagnosis at 6 ish... and I've been reading up on the facets of ADHD the last few months so I can finally inform myself, so I can finally start understanding myself
My question stems from this. The people I personally know, that also have ADHD... we all seem to prefer various types of things that would never get radio play. Things like Spiritbox, in flames, Motionless in white, Jinjer, architects, Lorna Shore, etc.
I'm just curious, if anyone else with ADHD has a preference to more extreme forms of music, vs. others. The album (2000) Clayman completely changed my thoughts on what good music was, and from there my life has pretty much just been a series of people screaming in my ears in various ways, to help me focus/calm down. Makes me feel unnatural at times, because only a small number of my "normal" friends aren't turned off by it... and for me to feel somewhat productive, it has to be with headphones... and at the maximum possible volume. (I very seldom drive with people in my car, because of just how loud I have to have the music on)
​
edit: I feel like I'm showing my age by saying radio... I meant like the billboard top 100 radio
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ADHD
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For, a 17 year old with Aspergers, ADHD, and various learning disabilities, my life is as close to perfect as it can possibly be except for one thing which is that I’m too scared to ask a girl out on a date despite the fact I’ve been pretty lonely as well as desperate for about a year now. I have learned to love my Aspergers and I now see it as more as a positive thing than a bad thing even though I do sometimes on rare occasions wish that I was Neurotypical. I can tell that a bunch of girls like me because right before the pandemic a bunch of girls asked me if I could take off my shirt during gym class to see if I have a six pack because I almost broke the school record for longest plank and a girl even asked me to keep wearing tight jeans because she liked my ass. I’m pretty sure she likes me because she has made a few comments saying how strong I must be and that she has complemented my ass and has said that she wants to do things to it that are sexual in nature that are probably too dirty to state here. I was just too afraid and nervous to respond to her comments hinting at the fact that she likes me. Could she be kidding or is this genuine and do girls ever say these things to guys they don’t like to mess with them? During prom I even caught this girl staring at me during prom and we made eye contact, just like the movies, I quickly looked away because I realized she caught me. Then, on June 9th, the last day we were in our school building we were both leaving, I don’t talk to her anymore in person since the pandemic due to how nervous I get around her and only on Snapchat because I’m too lovestruck and nervous to speak, but what happen next I deeply regret. She started saying something to me, I think she said something along the lines of, “Oh, Charlie, there’s a yearbook quote for you on the heater.” I was so shocked that despite the fact I couldn’t hear her speak very well because I was so blinded by love and shock that I just weakly muttered, “Ok.” just as I was going to ask her to repeat what she said, the teacher signing us out of the building rushed me out, I am the last one out of school usually because I have executive functioning issues so teachers rush me out, and I then left the building saddened. I tried to ask her what she asked me on Snapchat but she hasn’t responded yet so I’m thinking of reaching out to her on Instagram by direct messaging her to ask her what she said and maybe I will also ask her if she wants to, “Hang out,” this summer. Does it sounds like she also loves me and is interested in me? How do I calm myself and ask her out? How do you date with Aspergers and what are some strategies to stay calm? I’ve definitely decided that I want to start simple by asking her if she wants to hang out so that I can get to know her (even though I’ve known her since 8th grade because we both go to a school for students with learning disabilities) and try to date her during my senior year. I really need some clarification and help badly so please do that for me because I don’t want to tell my family about this for obvious reasons.
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aspergers
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I’ve had depression and anxiety for my whole life and have also had gut issues for about 15 years. I happened to take azithromycin for a UTI and my depression lifted! I felt amazing. But it slowly returned. A few months later I had to repeat the course for a UTI and same effect! Has anyone else experienced this and does anyone know how I could replicate it? I’m not sure if it’s that it is killing something off or that it is anti inflammatory.
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depression
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If you live with a disability, what are some of the obstacles you encounter each day? How are you overcoming these obstacles, and which ones do you still need help with? Because I am still failing at managing right. I wonder if I am depressed because I can’t manage or because I have a disability. #medicalMarvels
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depression
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So for context i’ve known my therapist for like 3-4 years now and i’m very close with her but i always get very scared to like say i think i have something idk why? i mean i always end up so having it bc i had the last two disorders i thought without telling her but i’m still scared to tell my therapist probably because my mom always invalidated me even when my teachers told her I should go get tested in middle school she said she didn’t want me to turn into a lab rat?? question is how can i bring up the conversation of ADHD to my therapist (i’ve been on the phone(no video call cus id blank out and be embarrassed) since covid started so like 1 and a half years maybe?
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ADHD
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I've been his patient for 3 months and was prescribed an antidepressant on our first session. I can tell I get those really bad lows not as often anymore but I still have depressing thoughts which I don't think I'll overcome on my own. My psychiatrist has suggested therapy sessions with him before but I neither like nor trust him. He's actually just opened his office this year so he's at the very beginning of his career. I don't think he has the right tools to actually help people yet. Should I still just give it a try at least? Thanks for any advice and opinions...💕
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depression
|
First post and I'm sorry if it's long.
My husband (35M) who is diagnosed PTSD, depression, anxiety, ADHD and bipolar and I (32F) diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety and depression have been together also 18 years. We both are disabled veterans and we're being treated for our mental health issues. I'm approaching my 1 year mark as a civilian and I've been lucky to find a good job to help support our family.
My husband however is on his 4th job this year. Today was his 3rd day at his new job and he contacted me crying saying he couldn't do this. We were able to work out a solution but the problem is I have panic attacks and my trigger is my husband. He attempted suicide last year which is why I left the military so I could be home to support him.
When he gets like this I'm afraid to talk to him because anything negative sends him into a serial and makes things worse thus sending myself into a spiral of panic and bad thoughts. I'm constantly terrified that he'll hit that breaking point and decide I'm better off without him. Like the thoughts of well I cant hold down a job, I can't help my family, I'm making it worse for my wife's mental health will tip him over.
I know I need to talk to him about my fears but he just shuts down and gets worse and worse. I'm scared if I tell him that I'm not ok it'll just push him over the edge.
I just can't stop the thoughts of what if.
Any advice on how to help take care of myself when it seems like our whole family and the life of my husband hinges on me just being ok and not expressing anything negative., or just any advice at all.
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depression
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Never, I don’t have that “it” fact. I’m not special enough.
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depression
|
So I have a dorm and as part of that, I have a bathroom I share with four other people that I clean. Lately we’ve been following a “clean it when you think it gets dirty” philosophy but one of my roommates decided we should each take turns and my week was today.
Tbh I’m not the best at cleaning since I’m a messy person and I grew up with a mom who was the scapegoat to a narcissist and she didn’t want me to be a slave either. I didn’t even know how to do laundry until I hit college.
She told me to clean the floor with bleach and water, so I did. However I had cleaned the tub beforehand with Ajax powder and washed it with water. When I mopped the floor I started getting light headed and hot so I opened a couple of windows, turned the AC on and flung the door open.
I was honestly worried i made some deadly mustard gas combo and it’d kill me, so I spent some time sitting next to the window and breathing.
Then I realized that since I was in a dorm, smells travel and our bathroom had its own an air vent. And our room was right next to the RA’s room. I was super worried I poisoned the RA. I was this close to going to her door and knocking to be sure she was fine.
I even made a Reddit post that got downvoted and I feel silly for making and called poison control. they said just open a window, get out of the bathroom. As for the smell, it probably wouldn’t travel.
I didn’t realize this was OCD until after I stopped panicking and told myself “if the RA smelled bleach wouldn’t she knock on your door?”
Now I know to be careful next time.
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OCD
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when ive gone off antidepressants in the past cold turkey there were usually side effects, but wellbutrin is the only one in its class and not a typical antidepressant like ssri's. I read that there's no danger of withdrawal from it. Do you think it would be fine to just suddenly stop taking it?
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depression
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I shaved one leg and zoned out and forgot to shave my other leg. I didn't even realize until I was already done in the bathroom. I zone out a lot. Lol. So now I have one shaved and one unshaven leg. Ugh.
I am proud of how far I've come with ADHD but things like this shaving situation remind me how real my own ADHD is.
I am trying to stay positive and validate my struggles with it but sometimes loving myself is so difficult.
Idk what I was going for in this post, I just thought y'all would understand. Thank you for reading this and I hope you have a fabulous day.
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ADHD
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in my dream last night, i was literally doing my rituals that i’ve been doing lately. and it’s weird because that wasn’t the theme or main part of my dream i was just doing it like it was normal if you know what i mean. it’s so weird like why is that apart of my dream?? i’ve had other dreams where my OCD themes are the theme of my dream and it’s honestly just strange.
not even sleeping is an escape at this point lmao
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OCD
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Being an adult means having friends that want to drink. But for me i ether don't feel anything or i have to force myself to drink a lot and i feel nauseous and tiered. Whale my friends really like it. So what happens is that everyone starts to talk faster and louder, so i can't get a word in the conversation i just get ignored. So i end up sit there bored while everyone else is having a blast, super jealous that i can't have fun like that. I end up going home early those times.
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aspergers
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Trigger warning:
mentions r*pe
At a young age I was introduced to sexual activities from my older brother and sister, with the PTSD I have I cannot recall what exactly happened but my sister did apologize for her actions (I said it was justified because our uncle used to r*pe her so she never knew any better.)
I was constantly being prodded, toyed with, and even r*ped. To this day my vagina has been so abused that it's essentially mutilated (it can be incredibly uncomfortable). I look in the mirror and it's just a constant reminder of the things that happened, and it's so disturbing to me.
I'm almost 18 so I've been considering cosmetic surgery for it so I could maybe, just maybe, experience something sexual without being repulsed at myself (side note: how is circumcision for adults so much cheaper than vaginal reconstruction??). I haven't even visited an OBGYN because I have 0 clue how to explain this, I don't hold them accountable.. only my uncle but he has a kid now and I really don't want to take away a father from a child or have that child growing up as someone who thinks their dad is a villain.
Not really looking for medical advice but more on your guy's opinion on the situation and how to go about coping..
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ptsd
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I (28F) was raped when I was 17 by an abusive partner of 2 years. I've bottled it up and compartmentalized it for 11 years and didn't tell anyone about it until maybe 5 years ago. I'm just now starting to unpack everything. It's terrifying.
Everything started to get retriggered about two weeks ago and after a really intense discussion with my husband (who is incredibly supportive, patient, and understanding), I decided that it was time to start working through the trauma I've been avoiding for so long.
I have a great therapist who gave me a "homework assignment" for this week between sessions. She warned me that it'd be triggering and painful and advised that I should take breaks, etc. as not to get too overwhelmed. I was anxious about it, but I thought I could do it.
I didn't even make it to the assignment this morning before stuff hit the fan. My plan was to work on it after I came back from getting the oil changed in my car, but I got home, made it to the kitchen and everything came flooding back--the visuals, the emotions, the physical pain associated with what happened. The pain from afterward. The violation I felt (feel). I started throwing up when it started happening.
It was like everything from 11 years ago was happening all over again in perfect detail. I lost it. I was hysterical for an hour. I was home alone and I thought I was going to have to call an ambulance because of how bad it got. The panic was horrible. It was one of the worst experiences of my life.
I had no idea this would happen and I'm so scared it will happen again, especially while I'm at work. I have a plan of who to call if a flashback happens there, but I dont know if I can do that again. It was so bad.
Are there resources out there to help me work through another flashback if one happens again before my next therapy session? Does anyone have any advice to give? I feel so scared and alone right now even after reaching out to my support network. I don't know what to do.
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ptsd
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Does anyone else feel like polyamarous relationships don't deserve how much hate they get or would be willing to be in such a relationship?
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aspergers
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Hey all, just wanted to post here to vent for a bit. This semester in college was pretty the shittiest time I've gone through personally. I didn't have any friends for 90% of it so I was pretty much a shut in, and I had some other mental/physical issues that carried over from working in Fire/EMS during the previous year. I struggled greatly throughout the semester, but was proud of myself when I was able to get through it. That was until I took a look at my grades. I used to be able to pull good grades without much effort, so I instinctually didn't worry about it. This semester was different though. I put more energy into worrying about class and trying to will myself I into focusing then I had ever before, but my grades keep slipping. I feel like I'm running in a race against people, but the only difference is they're running on a track and I'm running in quicksand. I'm just so fatigued after the semester that I'm just happy it's over, but I don't feel an ounce of relief because I know my gpa was about a B- which my parents probably won't forgive me for. I'm just sad and pissed off bc I know my shitty academic performance is gonna be the only thing brought up at home because "just being sad" isn't an excuse. The only advice I've gotten is to either work harder and figure it out, or drop out and find a trade. I know my parents would probably stop talking to me if I dropped out, plus I always wanted to work in IT which pretty much requires a degree to get past a certain point. I guess I'm just writing because I'm tired and pissed off, and I know it's gonna get a hell of a lot worse for me when I go home. Happy holidays everyone. 🤷♂️
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depression
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I have cptsd.
This fall I was working, in school, my mom is elderly and sick,there was the covid situation, and then there was fucking Trump (I don't even live in the States).
All of these things were collectively bringing me close to the brink of a mental break.
So I quit school, to lessen my load. Still I felt like I was coming undone, a bit better, but not on the mend.
Then a few weeks later, I lost my job, sad, hard, but financially I am ok for the next 12 months or so, so not a major stress factor.
If anything not having to deal with my work lessened my stress.
The election went as well as it could.
Mom is still sick, and getting sicker.
I have a husband that is made for me, I am so close to my children, and sister. I have really good friends that I meet as often as covid allows. I play, I laugh, I make good food, I pet my pet, I do my workout, I sleep as much as my body asks for.
But still, my body is so tense, I sit here about to play my favorite game, and all I feel is sadness and stress working its way through my body, and turning into tears I can not control.
What the f.
Does anyone think this is familiar?
If so what worked for you?
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ptsd
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Lately I can't force myself to get out of bed when my alarm goes off UNLESS I have to go to work. So on the weekdays when I work I can get up but on the weekends I oversleep. Does anyone have ideas for an obligation I can have on the weekend, that I HAVE to do?
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depression
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- don’t waste years of your life assuming people dislike you or are out to get you...and don’t waste any energy disliking others; it’s not true that people dislike you anyway, for the most part (unless you’ve royally offended them lol)...
- let all minor misunderstandings go...that’s what adults do...it doesn’t mean you were wrong ...it means you’re mature and tactful
- you don’t have to prove your intelligence to anyone (executive functioning issues sometimes make many of us a bit forgetful/slow)...just relax and tell people about your interests and it will be apparent...also, keep written notes on hand and review them in private before having a conversation on a certain topic at work or in school, if need be
- be fun and funny...but don’t try too hard...just make sure you aren’t coming off as depressed and anxious too often or it will drive friends away...people need positivity in their lives now more than ever
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aspergers
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**What is your Study:** It is said that practices like mindfulness and introspective journaling can give us deep insights and positively influence our mind and body. In today's world of constant stress and distractions, can simple everyday practices really help us improve our wellbeing, allow us to better manage stress, increase productivity, and enhance our overall sense of calm and balance?
We are a team of scientists from MIT attempting to answer these questions. We seek to develop a structured approach to practicing and measuring wellbeing activities with new technology and a scientific approach.
**Lead Researcher Name:** Satrajit Ghosh
**Lead Researcher Credentials:** Principal Research Scientist at the McGovern Institute for Brain Research at MIT; PhD in Cognitive and Neural Systems at Boston University (2005)
**Institution Name:** Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT)
**Advisor (For thesis level):** Satrajit Ghosh (Principal Investigator)
**Will this work be published?:** Yes, we hope to publish the results in a peer-reviewed journal.
**Compensation:** Prize raffle. Prizes include headphones, Polaroid-style cameras, an MIT Meditation Lab zafu (meditation cushion), an online mindfulness writing course by Nadia Colburn, and Amazon gift cards!
**Method of study (In person, online):** online (mobile device or computer)
**Time required:** 2 months total
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OCD
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For the past 1.5 years I've had 90% of my meals from sealed packages and as a result lost 40 lbs. I'm now underweight and severely malnourished. Last week for the first time in 9 months I took a shower. I'm trying my hardest to get my life back together but I can't seem to do basic things due to my OCD. Every time I go to the grocery store I fear that I'm being followed around by someone my father or sister hired to poison me with drugs. I know it sounds paranoid but it has controlled me since I moved out for college 9 months ago. I went to the grocery store yesterday without my phone so nothing could potentially track my location and still got paranoid thoughts. While walking in, a lady apologized for getting in my way and I said "it's all good". She then turned around twice after I responded and gave me a super weird look. I still said fuck it and continued to shop around with the thought of maybe she will poison my food. Everything was going good until I ran into her in another aisle where I heard her husband cussing right as he saw me. It was here that I put almost all the items back on the shelf and checked out. At the check out, I knew I was not going to be able to eat the food I purchased and had to throw it away afterwards. Now I'm getting thoughts that she told some of the employees about me and maybe thought I said something offensive instead. If I go back in I'll feel that the employees will try to poison my food. I went to almost every single grocery store in my area when I was months unshowered and looking like a homeless person buying only boxed foods. Even then, I felt as if the employees hated me and want to poison me. I've even thrown away sealed items because I fear that the employees injected them with drugs with a small needle and glued up the hole. I went to the remainder of the grocery stores in my area after showering and now feel as if I've ruined those too. I feel as if I'm trapped and I honestly don't know what to do at this point. I'm a full time student and I can't even focus on my work because my mind and body feel so exhausted. I live alone and have no friends or acquaintances to help me through this shit. It hurts me so much knowing I can't overcome this.
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OCD
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I hate having these. I hate having to tell people I can't deal with something. I hate making my roommate not be able to enjoy the stuff they do because I am around. I hate it.
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ptsd
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I (22f) recently just got out of a 3 day stay at a psychiatric hospital. I wanted to share my experiences in case anyone finds it helpful. I know I would’ve liked more information.
I had such a pleasant experience that I felt like I had to share. I know I was really lucky to find a nice facility but I also wouldn’t have known about it if I didn’t ask for the help. I’ve been struggling so much lately and decided to take the step and ask for that help. I know it’s the last thing that I feel like I’d want to do. To be honest, I didn’t ask for the help directly. Without going into too much detail, I talked with a friend who contacted my parents. I was hospitalized and then I was given a choice on whether or not I wanted to try a psychiatric hospital. I was scared and felt like I wasn’t “bad enough” to be admitted. The unit I was in was an all women’s unit and they all struggled with the same issues I had. I felt validated. I know I have such a long way to go still. I just felt like sharing this because you might be faced with this choice or it could be recommended to you.
The place that I stayed was ranked 2.5/5 on their reviews. So I was very scared. I was told by someone that typically people who are upset will leave those reviews. I trusted the doctors and still went there.
Like I said, I had so many questions and there definitely is a stigma about psychiatric hospitals from our media. I’m happy to share more if anyone is interested.
I don’t feel better in the sense that the thoughts and emotions are gone. However, I actually feel so hopeful and excited for life. I can’t remember the last time I felt like that.
Edit: I just wanted to add that it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. While I was there, I wanted nothing more than to leave. It was mainly after in retrospect after thinking about the therapy and stuff that I felt like it was fully beneficial. I know some people have hesitations about it and that’s totally valid. I gave myself the grace to be like, “this is really shitty” and that helped me a lot. It’s okay yo be honest with yourself. Often times, the things that make us healthy and better are so hard to do. Especially with depression when you don’t want to do anything else but hibernate.
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depression
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So I'm getting my vaccine soon and I wanted to know for other people who have had it. Did you take your meds on the day? Did you skip the day? Are there any interactions to know of?
I tried to google it but I just kept getting reassurance articles on how the vaccine doesn't cause ADHD which I know lmao.
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ADHD
|
Lately, I feel like I’m having a very hard time controlling my impulses, doing chores, or keeping to any kind of healthy routine.
In the weekend, I’m on my phone all day, screentime says I’m at about 5.5 hours on the weekend. I’m also starting up really late, weekends and weekdays.
My biggest problem, though, is that I’ve been staying at work crazy late. If I really get into something, I just feel compelled to keep digging into it, even though it torpedos my routine. Last week, I stayed till 2 am one night working on a document. Yesterday, I stayed till 11:30 pm building a prototype (I’m a mechanical engineer).
Occasionally, it’s because I’m feeling good that day and staying late is capitalizing on some energy I found. A lot of the time, though, I just feel terrible while I’m doing it and it’s just compulsive. After a while at night I get super annoyed and impatient (like not wanting to walk back to the shop for the right tools and I end up jamming my finger on something as a result), I start making mistakes, and I feel really weird being the only person in the building. I really don’t like doing this. It’s a combination of feeling afraid of looking incompetent when other people are around, working on things that aren’t important that people might judge me for, obsession with the projects I’m working on, and feeling like I don’t get enough done during the day because I get in late and often have trouble focusing.
This has sort of turned into a vent post, but any advice or encouragement is appreciated. I just feel like i don’t have a lot of control over my impulses lately, and it’s a scary feeling.
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ADHD
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I don’t know what’s wrong with me, it’s easier for me to sit and stare at a wall rather than sit and watch a TV series or a movie. I used to be a huge film buff, since my abusive ex left I can’t watch anything by myself anymore. Can anyone relate or have any advice? Ive felt so blank and apathetic
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ptsd
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https://youtu.be/M-EmX-O1dTI
Ruchir Bakshi joined the US army after 9/11 because he wanted to serve his country and fight against terrorism. He relays to Rajiv Malhotra his experience in the Army and shares snippets of his life with the army when serving in Afghanistan and Iraq.
He also tells Rajiv how he developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and how when he returned back from the Army even his parents felt that he was a different person. After being on meds for a few years, and thinking that the disorder had stabilized, he experienced bouts of PTSD and was advised to seek help from the Chinmaya Mission.
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ptsd
|
M18 here been diagnosed and unmedicated for about 3 years now. My whole life I've had a very strong empathy sense that goes beyond what I'd say the average person experiences. Just by being around someone it's easy to pickup on how they feel and such, these traits haunt me in a sense that I'm always seeing through everything. And in the end I'm the one who ends up having to feel it all. Does anyone else struggle with having such a strong empathy capability?
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ADHD
|
I’ve come into situations where my back itches and I’m around family so I ask them to scratch my back (instead of doing the usual “bear against a tree” back scratches against a wall). Without fail, after I ask, they either pause for a second and give me a strange look, then say ok. Or they’ll say something about “I don’t usually do that” before agreeing to do it. I live in the US. Is this something I missed, where everyone was told this was an act to only be performed exclusively by those we are romantically involved with?
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aspergers
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I don’t want to get so angry over every little injustice anymore. It’s too much. I want to be somewhere where people are kind to each other and don’t take advantage of or hurt others. I’m having a hard time this week
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ptsd
|
My depression started when I hit puberty. Lamictal basically cured me, until I started taking estrogen birth control and my doctor says that was interfering with my meds, so I got on different birth control and felt better.
I didn't have a period while I was nursing my third kid. When I weaned him and had my first period, depression hit me like a truck. I've had problems off and on for the first time in a decade, and it usually aligns with when I menstrate of ovulate and get a burst of estrogen. I'm 35.
Did any of you experience a worsening in symptoms when you reached your thirties? Have any of you noticed a connection between your depression and estrogen?
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depression
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People who took 20 trips or however many around the campfire before sleep probably found more wolves and got eaten less, passing on the OCD gene. UNCONFIRMED, JUST WONDERING.
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OCD
|
Im so glad i found this subreddit. I got diagnosed in 4th grade and started to learn more about adhd recently threw following instagram pages but the more i look at the pages the more it fills me with anxiety. Im going to turn 18 soon and I’m scared. I see a lot of the people on those pages talking about how being an adult is hard and how they struggle, ect… I also am going to be in college and am going to have to learn how to do things by myself. Does anyone have any tips and tricks because Im scared. I dont know many people who have adhd and most of the ones i know are younger.
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ADHD
|
Idk if this is the right flair but I just got off a virtual appointment where I got an official OCD diagnosis and I'm just....
I didn't even think it would impact me this much since I've known I've had it since forever but actually telling someone what I've been going through all these years and them validating me and telling me im not crazy or fucked is so so relieving. This is the first time I've ever seeked mental health aid so it was so fucking scary but I DID IT!
I can't share this with anyone IRL because people around me aren't aware of what OCD even is and I don't wanna be judged atm, so I'm sharing this here. I was holding back tears the whole appointment because it was terrifying telling someone what goes through my mind but my doc was so so reassuring and kind. I'm so happy spaces like this sub exist so I can feel like I'm not alone, thanks to everyone who shares their experiences. I'm still crying lol but I'm so happy.
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OCD
|
Everytime Halloween comes around the same thing happens we get pumpkins, we carve them, and then for some stupid reason I ask if my aunt can bake the seeds for me, but every year they always just stay in my fridge and get moldy, and everytime I open the fridge I see them and I have flashbacks to when my mom made them for me, idk why I dont just throw them out or just dont save them in the first place.
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ptsd
|
I've been doing a bunch of exposures for the past couple of weeks. It sent me into a depression relapse. Initially, the exposures were extremely terrifying during, though I felt a reduction in anxiety afterward. Lately, I've been finding that my anxiety has been lowering while reading my trauma story the past few times. However, today my depression seemed to get worse and I felt emotionally flat without other dissociative symptoms for the first time in year. I did an exposure to try and shake myself out of it, but I just felt nothing except a little disgust and boredom. I didn't notice any physiological changes either. I then did an in-vivo exposure that typically is my worst one of all. Nothing. Has this happened to anyone? Do you think it means I'm experiencing habituation, or am I just getting so depressed that it's blocking the response? I feel indifferent about pretty much everything today so it's hard to gauge if there's something I should be doing in response to this, so any advice would be appreciated.
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ptsd
|
I have trouble focusing on anything that doesn't take minimal concentration, and if I do need to concentrate on things such as reading larger bodies of text, I need complete lack of outside stimulus in order to understand anything. I used to love reading/writing, and still do, but I just can't seem to find the energy it takes to do it anymore.
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ptsd
|
I rarely push myself hard, I have pretty peaceful days where I do things in moderation so I don't get overstimulated and worn out. I talked with my doctor about my situation and was worried that I'll always have to take it easy for the rest of my life, forgetting the dreams of employment. She said that I can start easing into it and eventually learn to deal better with my sensory input if I just keep slowly doing hard things until I'm used to it.
That kept nagging me, so I decided to try doing just a little bit more, doing stimulating activities for a bit longer and seeing what happens. Sounds good right? Well... As the title reads, I've gotten myself overstimulated to the point of losing complete touch with reality. I've had many psychotic experiences in the past related to anxiety, so I know when I've had an episode.
I'm now recovering from my last episode. What did I do to get it? I played online games with people for longer than usual. 2.5 hours, with one break. My usual is 1-1.5 hours with no breaks. Afterwards I felt completely out of it and then the monster started crawling on my wall with it's teeth out ready to eat me if I even looked at it. I called a friend who calmed me down.
Now I just feel like I have no hope for getting better because my brain likes to put me in a "better place", so to speak, to protect itself from overstimulating.
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aspergers
|
I’ve suffered from some form of OCD for over 20 years. I was formally diagnosed with OCD 5 years ago. At that time it was centered around intrusive thoughts of self-harm.
So, 5 years later, and I consider my OCD to be under control. I still have occasional intrusive thoughts of harm but they don’t concern me at all. I take medication, have done CBT, seen a therapist.
A long term problem for me is difficulty getting organised with home tasks, and also getting ‘addicted’/obsessed with new hobbies. It’s hard to describe, but I’d become fixated on finding the ‘best’ way or system to do something.
For example, I’d think about cooking dinner for the kids. Then I’d get stuck in a spiral about how I needed to meal plan, and start researching systems for meal planning, or start thinking about how I really needed a new food processor so we would eat more veg... and start researching food processor. And then end up picking up pizza for tea.
The penny dropped last week that I’ve been using this planning and research as a distraction from household tasks, or a distraction from feeling guilty about household tasks! Can’t believe OCD has fooled me again, thinking that I was being productive and useful, but was in fact wasting time in thought spirals. Can anyone else relate?
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OCD
|
You know they wont treat ptsd if you're actively su*cidal, which means if your ptsd causes chronic su*cidality as a symptom, then you're pretty much sht outta luck - I would know, I've tried for the past 15,16, maybe 17 years.. - they have recommended me for PTSD treatment, treatment I cant get into because I'm constantly denied for being at risk. I've even tried lying and saying I dont have those thoughts just so I can get the treatment I need before I lose all hope, again. The most they'll do if you're feeling really bad is lock you up in a mental ward and force feed you meds until you pretty much can convince them you're not feeling so bad anymore. You have to convince them that the meds are working, when they're not - because some places dont treat the mentally ill very well -they have their ways of making people that feel bad already, feel even worse - and they wont do ptsd treatment if you're in a hospital for su*cidal ideation anyway.
It seems you have to have mild ptsd symptoms to get treatment. If your symptoms are severe enough that you've attempted to take your life in the past, they'll go as far as meds and talk therapy to manage your daily stress. I know it's their protocols, ptsd treatment is intense [or so I've heard], they dont want people to feel too stressed out before beginning, but they know having ptsd can cause some people to become stuck in unhealthy situations but they cant treat to help you out of the stuck spot if it causes too much stress in your current life. I dont qualify for ptsd treatment because my ptsd is too severe, after 15+ years of trying I have to wonder if I'll ever get the treatment I feel I need, and they feel I need, before I become a statistic. I wonder if those that have become a statistic have tried getting into treatment but were turned away because they were deemed too risky to treat. I know they dont want to trigger ptsd peeps too much, they dont want to be the ones to push them over the edge, they dont want to be held liable - it makes sense, I understand - but what about those that are teeter tottering on the edge already... they just wave ptsd treatment infront of our faces saying "you can get this treatment, you can probably get better with it, but you have to get yourself better first..."
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ptsd
|
I have done so well in this class. I have made all As but I was one day late submitting my final paper and now I have to wait to see if my professor will accept it. I am 42 years old, I work full time, I have raised a daughter on my own, I should be past this stage. This past week has been tough. Depression, anxiety and ADHD created a perfect storm. Not to mention interviewing for dream job while dealing with the 1 year anniversary of a close family member's death. I was so close. 😭😭🥱😭
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ADHD
|
I sometimes get really excited about someone or something, it'll be all I think about for a few days or weeks. It feels *so* exciting that it's a little uncomfortable and I can tell I'm just fixating on it, that much happiness isn't sustainable. I think for most people, happiness is kind of a calm joyful feeling. For me I have often thought it felt manic. Idk if that's also me having a hard time being happy in general because when something good is happening, it seems too good to be true. Like I just got this new job a few days ago that I'm extremely excited about, it's all I want to talk about and I keep worrying that I'm too happy and it's not going to last.
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ADHD
|
I'm on week 4 of my 7th retry at antidepressants and they're still not working for me (I took buspar, bupriopon, effexor, Prozac, Lexapro, Adderall, now Paxil).
I sleep 16+hours a day, shower and brush my teeth maybe twice a week.
Haven't been to class in weeks and can't fall into probation again or I'll be kicked out.
When I am awake I just stare at the wall or read Reddit for hours or feel bad about myself.
I literally had no drive or motivation and have lost ~7 lbs in a month.
Tried therapy 3x but they all were really bad therapists (thanks Kaiser), and I can’t afford private therapy
Had to run away from abusive family as a minor and I have friends but I can’t even get out of bed let alone spend time with them
Sleep is my only escape and I want to sleep forever but I also want to get better but I don’t know how. I feel like I’ve tried everything and I’m just here rotting away.
Anyways thanks for reading.
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depression
|
Trigger warning: flashbacks, abuse, anxiety, trauma
I’ve been in therapy for 4 years almost. We’d started trauma work, but I ended up putting that on hold once the pandemic started because I couldn’t handle past trauma with the new trauma the entire world was experiencing at the same time and I had to work in it the whole time.
After almost 2 years, I made the decision a month ago that it’s time to start again. I got the c-ptsd workbook and I’ve done a couple sections. Id like to add that I also have adhd and I’m medicated for that. But since I started doing the workbook and focusing on trauma work with my therapist again, my anxiety has been through the roof. My anger and rage have been intense and feels like it comes out of nowhere. Like the other night I had one of the best nights at work, and half of it I was angry and irritated for no reason that I could think of. My appetite isn’t great, my sleep hasn’t been the best, I’ve been on edge and anxious more than usual.
I guess I’ve been experiencing emotional flashbacks and one day recently I took it out on the guy I like for absolutely no reason (I have a history of abusive relationships, and sexual abuse, neglect etc) and I lashed out in fear because he went silent after I told him something important and he didn’t acknowledge I said anything and his silence triggered a memory of my ex causing me to have a panic attack when I asked her something after she went quiet like that by screaming at me to the point I was sobbing and couldn’t breathe. So I shut down and went silent and I freaked out internally and flight mode kicked in, It’s been a long time since I felt the urge to literally run away from someone. He later told me that when I went silent he felt like I was shutting him out when all he was doing was trying to be there for me. Of course he’s not versed in trauma responses but I still felt so embarrassed because it’s hard to explain to someone who doesn’t have it, what that’s like and that it’s not even their fault and why I reacted that way. I’m terrified of losing control over myself and I feel like I’m backsliding but I know I have to face all this buried stuff. I have so much different trauma in so many areas from different things and people it’s overwhelming how much I have to unravel.
I feel so alone and misunderstood at times by people who don’t have cptsd and have no understanding at how small things can trigger me at random and I don’t even know it’s coming. Sometimes I feel like I’ll always be stuck. I just need a hug.
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ptsd
|
I’m an artist (in the writing, fashion, singing sense) and I’m terrified of people stealing my ideas. I also go to business school and I can’t imagine someone stealing a business idea I have. I feel like at any moment someone could steal any of the artistic ideas I have. I have a SoundCloud and I’m afraid someone will steal the lyrics or stage name I have on there. I’m afraid someone will see my Instagram and try to steal the “style” or “persona” I have. I am incredibly private with what I do, so much so I don’t tell my family about my ideas or show them my writing. You never know who could be a thief. I keep all my journals hidden as well. That would be absolutely terrifying, to work hard and use your imagination for years (which is what I’ve been doing) and then someone with no brain cells comes around and steals it. I don’t mean to sound rude about that, it’s just incredibly common. This is a huge obsession of mine. It’s caused panic attacks and I feel like I need to constantly hide. I rarely dress in my “real” style in public bc I don’t want someone else to steal any ideas. It sounds very pretentious, but really I just am proud of the ideas I have and I don’t want someone to claim them as their own. I’m afraid someone could hack into the website I’m using to write and steal it. Ugh it’s a lot
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OCD
|
I know this is probably a major faux pas, maybe even problematic to self-diagnose, but I think I have had undiagnosed OCD for the majority of my life. I didn't realize it until TikTok of all places. I came across and OCD tiktoker and realized I have a lot of the symptoms. I've done a lot of reading and research and really think I have it. I have been trying to get a psychiatrist appointment for months now to no avail, either issues with health insurance, scheduling, or doctors not getting back to me.
​
Anyway, here are my symptoms- I've had panic disorder, anxiety, and depression all from a very young age. Maybe 12. I fixate on thoughts that plague me and control my days. I have certain obsessive thoughts I come back to, I don't even want to say what they are because they're so upsetting to me. I constantly come up with things to be anxious about and obsess over. It usually falls into three categories: financial problems, medical issues, or relationship problems. I think we're going to lose all our money, I'm dying in some way, or someone/everyone hates me. These thoughts paralyze me at times and I spend hours a day googling symptoms or articles. A lot of times I KNOW these thoughts are irrational and I still cannot stop.
​
I've also started to question my own reality. Sometimes I'll see something or hear something and wonder if I really did, I'll question my own memory. Ever since my mom died six months ago I've taken a down-turn. I hate being alone in a room, I can't even look at myself in the mirror lately. It makes me extremely uncomfortable and I can't explain it. I have recently stopped wearing makeup because of this. It's really embarrassing and I haven't told anyone because I'm scared I'll sound totally crazy.
​
I feel on the verge of a panic attack almost every day now, usually at night when I'm alone and everyone else is asleep. I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin, scream, punch a window and run down the street. But I don't. I honestly don't know how I'm keeping it together. I've been clean and sober for over 8 years now, so I don't self medicate. I \*am\* on Wellbutrin, and I think it helps but clearly I need more whether it be meds or therapy.
​
Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this, I am not sure how to summarize it until a TLDR lol. Does this sound like I may have OCD?
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OCD
|
*Disclaimer: I’m not a necrophile or a serial killer even though I make no case for it.*
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aspergers
|
*TW: self-harm, suicide
So I tried to kms not too long ago, and I was hospitalized for about two days. I’m back home now, but I don’t have any anxiety medicine in effect and I’ve felt a lot of anxiety ever since I got home. I couldn’t sleep last night and today I couldn’t stop thinking about everything that happened and images from it all kept popping up in my brain. Every time this happens I get more anxiety. I would never self-diagnose or anything, I just wanted some advice if I should talk to the psychiatrist or a therapist whenever I go. I also don’t know if I should bring up my suspicions that it could be PTSD to my parents. I also think it could just be because I’m off my medication and because it happened not too long ago, but I want to be safe because I seem to be experiencing a lot of the symptoms. Should I talk to someone about it? It’s also making me want to self-harm more because it relieves anxiety. I’m trying to stay clean but it’s getting kinda hard
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ptsd
|
All my life I got told I was different, wouldn't fit in, was too mature or whatever, but while my mom thinks I am highly depressed and suicidal, every single therapist told me I am completely fine. I have no friends and if I get some I often lose them without explanation, I never had trouble in school until now where I'm older (22), if my pc blocks and I have no idea why I get complete meltdowns which always happens if I can't logically explain something or something is missing that's always in the same place, I often get told I talk too much, but no matter what I try I just can't seem to shut the fuck up, no matter how much I truly don't want to talk.
I've only recently heard about how women with aspergers have more trouble with getting diagnosed and their symptomes, but I don't know if I should really go to get texted, since I already feel pretty embarassed about being a-ok every single time I went to therapists. Like, I never felt ok, or normal, or like part of anything, or like I had any control over my personality, but I just can't imagine not being at fault and being diagnosed this late.
If this isn't the sub for questions like these, I totally understand, but I haveno idea who to talk to, so I thought better ask people who are diagnosed and/or know way more on the subject than me. If you don't mind answering: in your personal opinion should I get tested or am I just absolutely delusional and grasping at straws?
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aspergers
|
Hey everyone, I suffer from ptsd from sexual abuse and for years my hips have been holding onto a lot of tension and it’s painful and I just want it gone. I thought maybe I should do some hip stretching yoga poses today and then I remember reading somewhere that trauma release yoga (primarily stretches for the psoas) can help not only with the hip tightness and pain but also with lingering emotional pain and symptoms of ptsd. I also think I remember reading that it’s potentially dangerous and can actually re-traumatize people and that’s something I’m not sure I wanna risk. What are your thoughts on this?
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ptsd
|
So. To preface this, I am on Wellbutrin and Prozac and I take melatonin at night to help sleep. I do have nightmares, but prazosin was making me incredibly dizzy on the lowest dose. So the melatonin helps me at least get sleep even if there are nightmares, which I am calling a win because at least I’m not waking up 100x a night. I am also in regular therapy and have been for the last 3 years. I have ptsd from experiencing childhood emotional abuse from my biological mother.
Last night I broke down and sobbed. Not quite panic attack, but definitely uncontrollable crying. My wonderful wonderful husband held me and talked with me and helped me do grounding exercises for two hours. This has been happened a lot more recently than it used to. It seems to be almost monthly where it used to be maybe twice a year, but manageable and I could handle it myself.
I’m concerned that these breakdowns are not only not good for me but more importantly my husband. He doesn’t have PTSD, but has experienced trauma in his life. I’m worried that I’m causing 2nd hand trauma on him or affecting his mental health. This morning he stayed in bed until I woke up because he was concerned with what I was saying during my breakdown, so he could check on me and was worried if he was some sort of trigger. During the breakdown I was crying that “I’m not worthy of love” “I don’t deserve to live” etc. I in no way want to kill myself or anything like that. I just feel so worthless a lot of the time.
I just don’t know what to do and I want him to be happy and I don’t want to be a burden to him. Is this normal? Is there anything I can do? Does anyone relate?
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ptsd
|
I've been thinking a lot about conversations recently and how I could try to become a better talker. I already know that asking appropriate but thoughtful questions about others is a great way to establish rapport but what other ways can I practice being a fun person to talk to? I should also be more specific and say maintaining conversations is my biggest weakness.
I feel like writing about my thoughts could help so I can better articulate myself. I also think spending more time educating myself helps because that way I know what's going on and can chime in with relevant info. Obviously a sense of humour helps but that's not always easy.
I know this all sounds like a seriously robotic take on talking. Any NT reading is likely thinking "Jeez this guys is doomed" but I'd like to prove them and my fears wrong and learn to be more engaging.
What's helped some of you become more fun conversationalists?
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aspergers
|
So you’ve probably seen my posts around from time to time asking the same things and might be thinking if I’m just beyond repair, I don’t know at this point and I’m sorry to be recycling the same story 100 times, maybe I therapist would handle this better but a few words of advice wouldn’t hurt
So I’ll start by quickly reinstating what I’ve already mentioned on my old account, my HOCD started (or should I say got worse since I’ve actually had minor HOCD for awhile), when I was scrolling on Twitter and watched a video of *NSFW* two hentai women doing it and one pulling out a penis*NSFW*, this is where everything went downhill because I had a heavy groinal response to that and I remember repeatedly rewatching her *NSFW* pull out her junk *NSFW* to test my reaction but thankfully it stopped but I hadn’t realised a fear was brewing inside me, and that was a fear of liking futa porn
Now I’ve always known what that kind of porn was but I stayed away from it because it kinda grossed me out and I couldn’t see the appeal, I thought it was for gay or bi people and I hated the sight of a penis, anyway like I was saying, remember how I said I had a fear brewing well that fear came back when I had yet another encounter with futa on Twitter again, reshared by one of my friends, it was the same reaction and this time I had a proper anxiety attack and for months on end till now I would keep checking if I was into it, but from September to now there were probably months where I went without checkin but it always came back.
So where am I at now? Well now I realised that I’m probably not into it since I’m physically incapable of masturbating to it, every time I try to my body doesn’t let me continue, as if my body is rejecting it and to this day I haven’t gotten an erection from it (my dreams are a different story), I know you’re probably thinking now then wtf is my problem? My problem is I don’t know if I’m repressing these feelings or if it’s just OCD because the groinal responses I get when I see it feels so real and sometimes it feels like I find the images hot but my body never agrees with me, I think the arousal may come from all the other body parts excluding the penis and the fact that I can’t masturbate to it is because my body recognises there is a penis present but idk because sometimes I get groinals from seeing the penis, its even more confusing because I don’t get this with men or even crossdressers, it’s like I don’t get affected by penises unless its a futa and the penis can look the exact same too, I think my OCD has just latched onto this, it’s so fucking confusing, I never had this problem a year ago I just found it gross, what’s going on with me!
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OCD
|
Hey everyone, I am a 22F, diagnosed with OCD and have been medicated with prozac for a while. Just for some background, I'm 5'8 and about 170lbs. Since middle school, I have always worried about eating. I feel like it consumes my life at all times, what I'm going to eat, if I eat bad how I'll feel guilty about it after etc. Now that doesn't stop be from eating regular, snacking on chips, eating normal or unhealthy meals throughout the week. However, the next day I'll try to starve myself for a portion of the day to make up for it & to stop feeling guilty. I spend a lot of time looking at myself in the mirror, thinking about what I can do to fix my body & planning what to eat the next day to maintain it. It has gotten better now, in high school I would go 1-2 days without eating or barely eat anything. Once diagnosed with OCD I never thought about having an eating disorder, I just thought maybe it was intrusive thoughts or that everyone gets like this sometimes. My psychiatrist recommended me the "Intuitive Eating" book yesterday that I'm planning to check out & I'm in the process of seeing a new therapist as well. Does anyone else relate to this in some form? Thanks.
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OCD
|
If I am angry at something, my brain freezes up and I literally loose control over my thoughts. I would not be able to move on to the next thought until the issue gets resolved. In this process, I will be tortured with intrusive thoughts.
My parents used to tell me when I was a kid (\~8 years old), I used to get so angry when I don't get what I want. For example, if I don't get something I want from the store , I would literally hit people and scream my lungs out. I get the same amount of excessive anger now (20 yo) but I react inwards and take it upon myself.
For example, if I don't get the grade I want for a school assignment, I am toast for the rest of the day. My brain would have intrusive thoughts that would just torture me. I would think about morally or religiously taboo things which are so out-of-character that I would never think such things when I am normal. Sometimes I would socially embarrass myself (mostly in a subtle way) to exert my anger and punish myself. I will physically feel an immeasurable amount of pain when I attempt to control it.
The closest mental condition I found with these symptoms is OCD. So, do y'all think this could be OCD, or some other condition. I would really appreciate any inputs.
|
OCD
|
Dear diarty,
Main problem of mine is schoooll. Always trhoughkut my life. Always.
Why do I do this to myself hahaha. I understand it all. I just cant find the energy to put into it.
And now everyone is moving on. As always. Im stupid in the eyes of society. Which makes me stupid.
My girlfriend is amazing. I genuinely don't get why she loves me.
Im a genuine piece of shit. I habe everything. But I feel so alone.
I don't get to be 'sad', yet I am.
Ixcannot handel the thought of ending up in a 9 to 5 job.
I used ro cut my fingertips, i remebrr it giving me relief. Ive lokked into non permanetn self harm today.
Greetings,
Thr clown
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depression
|
I don't know if this is the correct flair but I couldn't find a vent flair. So I feel sort of invalidated. I'm professionally diagnosed with autism, but I feel like I couldn't relate to a lot of experiences that it being talk about here. I know that every autistic people are different but I still feel not autistic. Plus, the reason I got diagnosed is because I was applying for extra time in my exam. So my parents said they give me this diagnosis to augment my chance of successfully applying for extra time. I don't know, I really don't know...
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aspergers
|
I had ME ( myalgic encephalomyelitis)/ CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) for 6 years. I seem to be in a remission post 8 months of very severe 24/7 bedridden. Even though I'm recovering, in exchange I've developed C-PTSD.
CFS is a terrible name, so I call it by it's other name; ME. As it's akin to MS. Muscle weakness, not sleepy fatigue like narcolepsy. The problem is something called PEM (post-exertional malaise) that effects and paralyses you into a crash day post exertion. I felt lightning jabbing pain through out my spine for 3 days straight as I could do nothing but lay.
Every function of your body starts to break down.
I went in a HBOT (hyperbaric oxygen therapy) chamber in the hopes it would help my housebound state and developed a Spinal Fluid Leak and immediately became severe. I also had a HPA dysfunction,
Every moment was suffering. I had severe insomnia and slept once every 4 nights while laying in bed constantly. I had bad light, sound, touch, temperature sensitivities. I had horrible tinnitus, musical ear syndrome and 9 different phantom sounds.
My body would be freezing and shivering, while unable to sweat due to anihidrosis. I have reynaud's and chillblains but my head would be burning on fire due to neuropathy., I was unable to shower on my own due to the agony of each water droplet being a kin to being shot and can only do so once a fortnight due to PEM knocking me out for a week.
Losing the ability to speak and communicate.
My sinus was inflamed constantly and I had become allergic to many things I wasn't prior like histamines.
I could not read books, watch tv or listen to music due to cognitive sensory overload. I had bad brain fog with long and short term memory loss. If I attempted to to concentrate I would get a strained brain and lost the ability to use my imagination.
I also had fibromyalgia which causes horrendous muscle pain, tendinitis etc. I could've probably walk for a hundred metres but due to a low PEM threshold were limited to about 30 metres a day. If I surpass that 2 days later I get destroyed for 2 days and it takes another few days to return to normal but my baseline would continue to get smaller.
All day I would be trapped in pain, unable to do anything. Completely claustrophobic. Unable to leave the dark and air-conditioned room due to my sensitivities. I was going blind, I could only think of time, getting trapped in it. when my parents would get home, when I would next have to eat, when my parents would next have to shower me. Focusing on how dirty I felt all the time, that I couldn't scratch itches incase I triggered PEM, that I couldn't enjoy anything. Eating and doing the same thing over and over everyday in a dark room. I had lost the ability to speak as well.
LDN (low-dose naltrexone) saved my life, if you ever go through something similar please try it. Even though I'm physically recovering, I'm struggling with C-ptsd and OCD developed while ill. Now I can't get out of the routine of doing things the same as when I was sick. 6 years of hell. It's not even over.
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ptsd
|
Howdy everyone! I'm currently in the process of doing research on various mental illnesses and things along the lines, and right now, I'm looking at PTSD. I hope this is an okay place to post this. I was just wondering what y'all have experienced because of your PTSD. I wanted to get some personal answers that may vary from person to person since the textbook definition doesn't necessarily go into how broad PTSD can be. So, if you have time to share, I would appreciate it! I truly hope I'm not overstepping or anything. Please let me know if I am.
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ptsd
|
Hi I'm barely suffering from hocd anymore, which I'm grateful for of course. But it's not the first time that I somewhat recovered.The first time I had hocd was a couple of years ago and then it was gone for a few years. The thing that I'm wondering is, why when I was at my lowest I felt like I enjoyed some thoughts. I don't really enjoy them know. This also happened when I first recovered, I didn't like the thoughts anymore, until hocd came back. What I mean by liking it is that my main compulsion was imaginig having sexual intercourse with someone of the same sex. Now I feel kinda repulsed by imagining it, but when I was doing really bad I enjoyed them. I have never found an answer to that question. Can ocd really go as far giving a fake 'enjoyment'. I hope someone understands what I'm trying to say and has an answer to my question.
Thanks in advance!
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OCD
|
In 2013 I was in an accident involving an SUV and a train. A friend of mine was killed and in 2016 I really felt like I was good. I felt like I had recovered just fine. Mentally and physically. Starting in 2019 the troubles came back. At times worse then they were. The night terrors are real. The feeling of doom. I think that’s how I’d describe it. It’s back and it’s worse. I have no clue why 7 years later I’m actually having more trouble than I did just a few years after the accident.
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ptsd
|
I have noticed as a child and adult whenever I get a injury such as a scratch or a new vein I want to solve the problem by researching, not only medical things, solving word searches or when one of my friends was in need of help I sent them a picture of the solution. Or when my Xbox controller (it was my only one and something I used alot so I wanted to fix it almost out of desperation) but something like lights I put off.)broke and I took it apart to see if I could fix it. And for fitness I research routines for my body type and or just try to solve that problem of needing a workout routine.
I work with preschool children but I don’t feel like it’s high enough level problem solving or wrong type
I dislike computer programming since I. Know that’s a good one for problem solvers
For me I get distracted by my thoughts sometimes if I work alone, having to talk to myself and find it hard to focus
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ADHD
|
Do you also get zero matches or when you do get a match the person ignores/unmatches after exchanging a few words? Like when I try to be nice and upbeat and to take things slow I get replies like "interesting" and instant unmatches. When I try to set up a meeting fast they play along and pretend to agree which is on another level of evil and then on the day of the date unmatch or ignore messages. When I open with what my understanding is an NT funny subtly sexual joke I get ignored. Why even match with me in the first place if you're gonna act like this?
It's so frustrating and makes me think really nasty things of the female population. It seems constant social proof is required to keep a female around, one time when you meet is not enough. It's tough to have that when you're rather misanthropic and extremely suspicious and untrusting which I wouldn't call a disorder considering past experiences.
I know tinder isn't really representative but at this point in my life is pretty much the only entry point into dating. Also the girls that I met organically seemed really flakey and not dependable at all. Might as well just jerk off and forget about the whole dating business.
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aspergers
|
I speak as someone who has Asperger's syndrome and I like to think I'm pretty tuned in with other people's emotions I always try and give sympathetic, empathetic, context of the situation-appropriate responses. If I feel like I don't know the best thing to say then I won't say anything at all rather than risk say something which may not be that helpful
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aspergers
|
Neighbors yelling at their kids set off memories of my child hood abuse. I've tried to sleep it off but I always wake up in a cold sweat after having the dreams return. I could smell the liquor soaked clothes of my step father's I watch him pick up my child self and throw me across the room. I could see the lack of soul in his eyes as he walked towards me laying on the floor with a broken arm from his throw. I could feel each kick to my chest and body again and again. He grabbed my broken arm and twisted it causing me to scream and pass out. When I passed out in the dream I screamed myself awake. I called my wife at work and she came down and took the rest of the day off for me. I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell her what I go through with the dreams and visions. I am afraid for both her safety and mine. Yet she sees me go through these dreams and watches me act out in rage when I see things and she stays beside me at the end.
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ptsd
|
I feel like the embodiment of toys R Us but it’s break downs R us. I just had a whole ass breakdown because I was scrolling though TikTok as you do. And my BIGGEST trigger song (fight song) starts playing. And I realised what song it is and just sobbed and sobbed for like half an hour. No my brain is filled with thoughts of stuff that has happened. So that’s fun, fresh and funky
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ptsd
|
I was wondering if I’m not the only one who goes through this daily. I often have intrusive thoughts about embarrassing, awkward, or offensive things I did as a kid and a teenager. It’s always that embarrassing intrusive thought of something I did or said back in 3rd grade, 4th grade, 1st grade, 6th grade, or in high school.
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OCD
|
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