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Marking as NSFW because there's a chance this might be triggering to other folks who've been sexually assaulted. I've found that laying on the floor is a huge trigger for me. I'm in a yoga class and something we regularly do is lay on the ground and bring awareness to our bodies. I can't do it. When I'm in the same position I was then and I try to pay attention to my body, I get flashbacks to being assaulted. I've tried laying on the carpet, on a mat, nothing works. Mindfulness doesn't work for me anymore and I'm tired of being unable to relax in my yoga class. Has anyone been through something similar?
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ptsd
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I had the pleasure of going to the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History today. I enjoy the museum although it sometimes gets too peopley. As I was going through the hall of gems, one of my favorites, a family with some younger children came through. One child was about 5 or 6 and was clearly very excited. He was shouting the whole time and his mother and the other lady with the group of 5 or so kids just ignored the fact that he was constantly yelling everything. It was so stressful. Here I was a 52 year old adult standing in the museum with my hands covering my ears to block this kid’s shrill voice out. Not once did I hear either adult instruct the kid to quit yelling or even try to tone him down.
I don’t blame the kid, and honestly, I don’t even blame the adults. I would have probably enjoyed his enthusiasm for the gems if it just hadn’t been accompanied by 3000 decibels of little kid screeching. But it is just funny the positions we find ourselves in. I’m sure I got plenty of strange looks examining the display cases with my hands over my ears. But since I really don’t care what strangers think of me, I guess it all worked out.
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aspergers
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I just started a new relationship but I worry constantly and I find myself doing checking rituals sometimes to make sure that they still like me. I was wondering if any of you have had a similar experience with impulsively checking if your partner is ok, over apologizing, and other such checking behaviors
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OCD
|
Hello. I'm a guy from Portugal and I'm 20 years old.
Right now I identify myself as mostly straight, with a bit of bisexual attraction. But when I was younger, like 15/16 (beginning of my puberty, yeah for me was a bit latter) I really identified as a girl. I even talked to specialists and family about it and they supported me.
All though with time, my sexual attractions "stabilized" into a more "average" sexual identity.
Now the part of my OCD:
When I was 15/16 I really really wanted to have sex with males. All though where I live, 99% of guys are straight, and I never found anyone.
So I started looking for things in the internet.
I stumbled upon sexual chat websites. These websites were full of people, everyone different ahahaha.
And there, I finally found males that were interested in boys like me... I started talking to people my age, but there started to appear older guys, like 20's 30's that wanted to talk to me.
At the time being a 15/16 teen, I just used to have sexual conversations with them, not really understanding what they were up to...
I never ended up meeting anyone.. (thank God) as most of my conversations were only minutes long.
I don't have trauma related to the fact that I may have been sexually harassed while I was a minor, by adult men on the internet, because I wasn't hurt by any of them, so it's "ok".
What I lately have been thinking about, is that:
"What if me being a teen for these older men, in these sexual chats, actually encouraged them to do worse things??"
My rational brain says this has no meaning at all, because at most I was a victim... But you know... OCD ... My irrational part says I may have indirectly contributed to something bad...
I'd love to hear your thoughts about this situation.
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OCD
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At first I was unsure if I have ADHD especially when reading symptoms I don't relate with. But, I do trust my therapist and so far medication works for me. So, maybe it's okay that I don't have all the symptoms. After all, we're all built different.
So, I'm just curious what ADHD symptoms you don't relate with.
For me, it's the "not being able to speak coherently" thing. I took communications back in college, had some radio gigs, and now, a full time writer. So, I am very much used to talking in a way that the other person or group of people understand. However, I still find it hard to listen to people who tell their stories in a boring way 😅. I feel guilty sometimes.
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ADHD
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Anyone else? Any thought? Is this a common symptom of OCD or is it not related and just how my brain works?
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OCD
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Just like the title says when you guys get intrusive thoughts do you actually see them like you harming someone or yourself or whatever your thoughts might pertain to and the visualizations actually scare me more than the thoughts anyone else?
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OCD
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31/M and was diagnosed March 2020.
Please, Are there different type of medications for ADHD or healthy living tips that you use to deal with ADHD? My diagnosis came from my General Practitioner (a DO, not DR) Who was curious about my behaviors with calling in and out of my appointments. I had brought up my thoughts on ADD and He said he has a test for “ADD“ and gave me a nine question verbal test to answer and depending on how I did he then would tell me whether or not he feels that I have ADD/ADHD. I had answered all those questions and he came to the conclusion that I do have ADD/ADHD and prescribe me Ridellan. After a few weeks on Ridellan, I expressed to him that I didn’t feel anything after a few days. He then prescribe me Adderall 10mg for 6 months and then upped it to 20mg twice a day.
I feel that the adderall is giving energy into my autopilot-ness and causes me to have more anxiety/stress than I normally do.
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ADHD
|
Hey all. Hope your day is going okay.
I wanted to ask if anyone here has finished college or is going through college and doing okay with it while having PTSD? Do you have any tips on how to get by? I'm really struggling to even keep up with course work just cause this stupid brain doesn't function like it used to.
**RANT / CONTEXT PART**
So for basics, I'm having trouble remember even the simplest things like if I've eaten breakfast or not. I can't read anything for more than 5 minutes without getting distracted. I can barely recall what I've studied. Everything just sorta melds into the dreamlike haze. I know I studied but I can't remember anything from it.
In terms of work ethic, I avoid stuff like a mofo. Even looking at a decently sized pile of work gives me a panic attack. I get to it after a while but that's after so much time wasted crying. I also get caught telling myself I'll never make it or that I should just drop out.
It's really annoying. Cause I know what where I wanna be. I know what I wanna do. I know what steps I have to take to get there. But it feels like there's always a wall waiting around the corner that I didn't expect. I honestly wanna drop out and just work cause I feel that I won't ever finish at this rate.
**ACTUAL QUESTION**
So yeah, I was wondering if you guys have any techniques that can help deal with memory loss, work ethic, disinterest, panic attacks when starting work, and just the general feeling of hopelessness when facing work? Any work techniques and stuff?
Thanks all for reading and maybe taking time to answer. Appreciate it.
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ptsd
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I've been waiting for someone to bring this up, but it's been years and no one has (that I've seen anyway) so I guess noone is gonna talk about how in the song this guy is so blue cause "he got nobody to listen" yet this dude has a girlfriend and a Corvette. What he got to be depressed about? I think I could show him a thing or 2 about real depression. Wonder what color he'd be then?
BTW, I'm not blue, I'm Green. Green is my last name. My mother's last name is Brown. She likes to tell people she "used to be green, got old and turned Brown"
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depression
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I don't know if it's just me. Those who say that time heels or it gets better obviously lie. I lost someone precious..and it still continues to haunt me. Ten years, 5 months and 25 days.. and it continues to haunt me. Doesn't help if she continues to be the only person in my life, who hasn't taken any advantage of me in any form...God she left me some serious goals, I still continue to be out of her league.. I don't know how people deal with someone's loss and move on...
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depression
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Just a little reminder. Otherwise you might think: oh, I don't do any compulsions. Avoidance is a compulsion that makes you think that you are doing fine. With regular compulsions at least you know that something isn't right. If you have things that you love to do, but you're avoiding them because of OCD, don't do that. Don't let OCD win in a such way.
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OCD
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I’m 46 and have been in some form or another of stimulant for my ADD since I was diagnosed when I was 7 or 8 and am interested in switching to a non-stimulant but am kinda worried since stimulants are also a mood enhancer and I struggle with depression and anxiety. What has been your experience? Are there any non-stimulants you can recommend or ones I should stay away from?
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ADHD
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i go back and forth with believing myself whether or not the way my parents treated me as a kid was okay. my memory is shoddy and riddled with holes but when i get a flashback or a tiny crumb of memory it ruins my day. it doesn't feel real. i feel like i shouldn't feel harmed - i don't think they did anything to me with ill intent and they would never lay a hand on me.
i'm eternally haunted by the awful emails my mother used to send me. it started when i was 12. texts and facebook messages too. about my weight. about me and my sister eating when we "weren't given permission to". about missing assignments, about my performance on the volleyball court, about needing to do more around the house. always written in all caps, with a ton of exclamation points, always promising her coming up to my room to shout at me for no reason. i can't drink wine because it smells like i'm going to get yelled at by my mom. she used to drink and drink and drink (cuz "one glass of wine a night is good for you" *it was never one glass*) and she'd hold me and my sister close. ask for a hug but get mad when we wanted out after it had been like 20 seconds. yell at us for being ungrateful. tell us we don't love her. wake me up in the middle of the night yelling because my computer has a password (which they set and forgot). accuse me of trying to hide things. what things? I was a great kid.
i wanted to move farther away for college but i couldn't because "you're just going to leave your mother?!" on a road trip for her she was so mad at my volleyball performance (*when i was on a team whose coaches & teammates were emotionally abusing me too*) that she shouted at me for 2 hours in a hotel room before threatening to leave me in indiana that night.
when my mental health first started declining, she told me that i couldn't take medication because the side effects are "too scary" (as if i weren't already suicidal & hallucinating). my dad at that time told me that my depression was going to make him kill himself. it's been like that with all of my medical problems in fact, it's always that i'm lying for attention, never that i actually got the concussion until it's been 3 days and i can't be awake for more than 45 minutes. i was in the mental hospital for a week and a half when i was 19. couldn't tell them a thing because i was afraid they'd be mad. my mother was so pissed i wasn't replying to texts that within 24 hours she went from her first text of "how's it going, pup?" to her latest one that was "we don't deserve this. don't make me call the police." i was in the hospital. what in the hell was i supposed to do. if it weren't for my roommates i would've had no idea that my mom was going to call the cops on me for not responding.
i'm an adult now \[21\]. i live a state away with my younger sister, the one person in my family i can trust. she's got issues of her own but at least we get each other. my mother still insists i need to keep my phone location on at all times because she checks regularly. follows me on everything and will stalk me if i post so i simply don't. this account is under an alias & i will not be found. her and my dad come around a couple times a year to "help us out" but it only ever adds to the stress. i go home once a year for a couple days for christmas and i cry twice a day every night i'm there. i feel empty around them.
i did everything i could to shield my younger sister from their wrath. they have always liked her more and she's turned out a lot more stable than i, for which i am grateful. i am aware my parents would love me and they've always told me they've done everything because they care about me, but i don't understand how love translates to the way they treated me. i know with therapy i can heal, but due to other mental health issues and a history of having my health denied it's wildly inaccessible. i can't show up to appointments due to memory loss or paranoia, i can't make phone calls, i lie to therapists to make them feel like i am doing fine. i just struggle to feel like it's real at all. i only vaguely remember stuff that happened but when i get a memory it's like a painful slap in the face. i know that emotional and mental abuse is real and if i had a friend come to me with something like this i would always reassure them, but for some reason when it's me i pull an exception.
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ptsd
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Like maaannnnnnn, I used to be so carefree now I’m such a worrywart. Meds have definitely made me feel better, like my OCD went from debilitating to annoyance, but even then I’m still worried over moral shit that I never even thought about before. Anywho peeps, I hope y’all are having a good, OCD free, kind of night. If anyone wants to talk, I’ll be up for a while.
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OCD
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idk if i have it im getting checked
anyway i keep getting thoughts about screwing up relationships
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OCD
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Sometimes, I wonder how my life would differ, if I was normal. No anxiety, no depression, no battle to continue a meaningless existence. They said, if you lose weight, you'll feel better. I'm down 102 pounds and I'm still awkward as hell. Medication is not helping my depression.
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depression
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Would you say that a marriage where both couples are Aspies would last longer than an NT marriage or an NT-Aspie marriage? People with Asperger's tend to be loyal, committed, and don't like change. You hear the statistic that over 50% of marriages end in divorce.
Most people today, particularly NT's, don't seem to want to commit anymore. Whenever people lose interest in each other, they want to get a divorce instead of working to improve their marriage. Most people tend to get bored easily nowadays and don't want to commit to one person.
Whenever an NT-Aspie marriage ends in divorce, it seems like it would be more likely for the NT to file for the divorce than the Aspie. With the pandemic and lockdowns, they say that the divorce rate has increased even more. I know that some of you on this subreddit are married and if you are, are you loyal to your partner and is your partner loyal to you? Do you feel happy in your marriage and do you think your marriage will last?
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aspergers
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Hi…
Okay, I was doing some introspection by means of typing out notes on my phone as well as reading up on this subreddit, trying to come to terms with my chronic struggle with masking. My mind latched obsessively onto terms of *kindness* and *politeness* as abstract concepts to aspire to, but the pursuit of this manifested into addictive people-pleasing. I put myself through internal hell by masking an image of selflessness that has put into burnouts and very regularly on the verge of meltdowns.
Well, okay, it was indeed a matter obsessive people-pleasing in my teenage years as I was trying to get people to like and appreciate me, especially as I didn’t fit in. But nowadays, it’s a hyper-vigilant anxiety about hurting other people’s feelings, that if if somehow let go of my masking, I’ll lose my magical emphatic ability I feel I have “mastered”. I guess I have an intense phobia of somehow becoming “selfish” by dedicating my time to my special interests and social boundaries.
I’m trying to think about and read on healthy social practices that I can follow as a bit of a “safety net”, but so as not to sacrifice my personal comfort (largely internally speaking, but there’s a physical element to it to); such as polite terminology. Empathy in the sense of having a feel for others’ feelings fluctuates depending on my state of mind, but something I *know* myself to be capable of is listening to people. It’s a matter of improving my communicative abilities to confirm what people are feeling instead of a reactive assuming based on expressions from others.
Thank you.
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aspergers
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they'd say 30mins 20mins instead of the *actual* time which would be 27mins or 23mins... like that's a few mins different u can even take a shit in 3mins.
"oh it's in an an hour"
no it's in 55mins... :|
the only person i've met who use the exact time as well was my ASD ex
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aspergers
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it’s really hard for me to read sometimes. the book i’m reading is interesting and i am enjoying it but im keep on rereading the same sentence, reading over and over again and reading comes stressful instead of a peaceful activity i like. if anyone has tips on how to stop or reduce this i will highly appreciate it :)
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OCD
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I have conservative, religious parents and I know that they would never support or accept me for being who I want to fucking be... I hate myself in the mirror....
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depression
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Along with OCD, Clinical depression, and General anxiety. They’re almost certain too that I have ADHD but they want to see if anxiety meds improve symptoms first..
It never crossed my mind that I would have PTSD.. Now it all makes sense from my past. I’m glad this is a start towards new journey!
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ptsd
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TW: suicidal thoughts
I've uncovered some repressed memories from my childhood and it's been hard coping with them. The only thing that kept me going was my year end exams because studying provided me with some sort of distraction from the abuse going on at home. Now that my exams are over, I have hours to just lie in bed and think about these bad memories/ wait for my parents to come home and for the abuse to begin again. I can't sleep because of the nightmares but even the simplest things like getting out of bed has been a chore. I just want to die at this point and the only thing keeping me going is my friend's birthday in a few days.
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ptsd
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I was trying to get on SSI for my Autism as I just cannot hold down a job but now lawyer has suggested I not go through the hearing with the judge because I am to high functioning for Disability, which I find hilarious. It should not matter that we can drive a car and go on trips alone or go to the store that has nothing to do with fucking working. I seriously hate America and it’s Disability program. Now I am looking at being homeless if something happens to my 73 year old mother because I have no one else to take me in. Social Security needs to better understand how Aspergers works.
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aspergers
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Trigger warning: sexual abuse
So i was sexually abused when I was 8, and then again through a relationship when I was 13-15. It had seriously affected my mental health but when I came out of this I slept around a lot as if to make myself relive it as it did trigger what happened. I don't know why I kept wanting to relive it, it was almost as if I just wanted to punish myself. Now I am in a relationship with someone I genuinely care for, but I still see sex as something that isn't special to me. I feel like I would go back to my old ways if we broke up, and I don't know how to explain that because it's obviously not exactly good for my health.
I was diagnosed with bipolar (developed from trauma of the sexual assault) so I have chemical imbalances which can cause me to get very stressed over extremely little things. For some reason everytime I do get stressed (which is multiple times in a day) I am reminded of the assault even if it what I'm getting stressed about does not correlate to sexual abuse whatsoever and it really is troubling to my mind. I am tired of reliving these events on a daily basis, and i was wondering if by any chance this could be ptsd as someone suggested this in the bipolar subreddit
Also my boyfriend sometimes gets frustrated and annoyed whenever I get stressed over something stupid he doesn't want to do, for example a messy room is the main one & when I ask if we can clean he gets frustrated and may want to do if later , but I have to do it then and there otherwise i will spiral and I've explained to him that silly things like this stressing me out triggers me to be reminded of my sexual assault but he doesn't seem to listen- he finds the concept silly (as do I, it doesn't make sense to me either ) Any advice?
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ptsd
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Like going outside, riding a bike, not hiding from the world. I know I should do these things for my mental health but I just can’t bring myself to get out of the house.
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ptsd
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(F16) for as long as I can remember ive displayed very obvious signs of adhd, I found out what adhd was in the 6th grade during health, i told my mom repeatedly i need to get a diagnosis. She dismissed me for 3 years. I am finally about to see a psychiatrist and am now thinking. What if my mom is right, what if i am just lazy or am dumb. If i get this diagnosis back negative my mom will use it against me forever. what do i do
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ADHD
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I've been forgetting to take my Adderall lately so I had extras and didn't go to pick up my next script till today. It expired today. But I learned something:
Expiration date mean it is already expired not that it is expiring.
So instead of getting my Adderall scripts on 11/5, I needed to get them on 11/4. So now I get to wait the weekend before my doc is even told I need a new one and until Tuesday until I can take it.
Yeah, grad students with ADHD don't need their meds anyways. What grad student needs focus and productivity every single day?!?
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ADHD
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It seems like the closer and closer I get to getting back on medication that I haven’t been on since elementary school, the more my anger has been boiling over because of the fact that I can never be happy without being on medication. And I thought I was going to be on the medication last week, but they had to contact my old doctors to get my medical records. Got all that out the way and now I’m waiting on my prescription to be processed.
​
I just think it’s so screwed up that there’s no other options to help me because when I was younger I was extremely anti-meds and never used my condition as an excuse, let alone acknowledge it as real, but now in my 20’s after losing like my 5th job in the past two years and countless burned bridges and countless potential relationships, that I ruin from being so inattentive while everyone just thinks I don’t care.
​
I’m so sick of having to live like this and come to the realization that I can’t be normal without meds. If I didn’t believe in a hell I probably would’ve been offed myself by now and I’m only 23
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ADHD
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I’ve had this issue for so long, before my diagnosis, but now that I’m aware of my disorder I’m wondering if it’s the reason they don’t like me.
I have tried so hard to do things with people I thought liked me. When we were talking and I mentioned having a girls night out or going out for anything really, they seemed interested in the idea. Then I wait a pretty good while to give them space, I’ll drop a how have you been or just genuinely asking how they’re doing, I either get no replies or vague answers that lead to complete silence in the end. I don’t understand what I could be doing wrong. I’m doing CBT and trying to form connections, but I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. 😞 Am I meeting the wrong people?
I ask because my husband has a friend and he’s married. They both work together, but I just met his wife and I invited them to a party. I thought she was nice, so I texted a few times. No reply. It seems like the other times. Just ghosted.
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ADHD
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Hey everyone. I'm a 32M and this is my first time taking meds. I'm excited to see if they help out. I was prescribed a small dose of Wellbutrin to help with fatigue, focus, and depression. I took my first dose this morning, and I feel calm but also have a solid amount of energy. It feels like I took a small dose of Adderall or drank a bunch of coffee. While this isn't a bad thing per se, I'm just wondering if eventually my body gets used to it? Thanks in advance for any help.
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depression
|
I’m not joking when I say this, this is probably the 20th time I’ve had a dream that I cheated on my partner! It’s always the same thing, I flirt with a guy and then I want to kill myself rather then tell my partner. The dreams are getting worse cause I tell myself in the dream that this is actually real and then I panic. Can I not have 2 cheating dreams every single week ffs!
Update: I had another one last night!
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OCD
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My therapist suggested looking in to this type of therapy. Has anybody done that? Anybody that has find it helpful? Or not helpful?
We are going to discuss it at our next appointment.
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ptsd
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This morning, after an assessment from a therapist, she gave me an unofficial diagnosis of ptsd on top of depression (which I've had for years and knew about), she said I can only get an official diagnosis from a psychiatrist, but I'm definitely showing symptoms even though my case may only be mild. I guess right now I'm feeling confused, it seems surreal. I wasn't exactly surprised, but I don't know.
Chances are, it stemmed from losing my mum last year, but it's made me wonder if I've had it for a while as I've had some stuff happen from childhood.
Sorry if this doesn't make sense, my concentration is a bit rubbish.
I guess I'm hoping for other people's experiences or advice? I don't know, feel free to chat, I might be able to make more sense by replying to others 😅
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ptsd
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I have an opportunity to work remotely for another country ( I'm in the US, jobs in UK) I have never worked a night shift, but I am definitely a night owl and my brain doesn't seem to kick in until later in the day. At this point, I have trained my brain to fit the 9a to 5p schedule, it'll definitely be difficult at first, but I'd love to hear about your experiences. Also, I am on vyvanse. My biggest concern is the med schedule.
Thanks for reading!
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ADHD
|
So i had ADHD my diagnosis yesterday with Clinical Partners and i think it went well, however my psychiatrist said it will take 10-15 days to process everything and write up a report. At the end he asked for school reports which i said i will send him. The thing is ive heard alot of stories where people get diagnosed at the end of the appointment and im now questioning myself whether its a bad sign that i didn't get this.
Has anyone been in a similar situation where you weren't diagnosed straight away?
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ADHD
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It feels weird opening to an online community but I guess I just want to know I'm not alone. It's my birthday today and for the past few years, every time it comes around, I'm always in a depressive mood. Last night, I >!cut myself!< and I'm not sure why. I have a few really good friends, I have a loving family, but they all have these expectations to celebrate my 16th birthday grandly and I remember when I was a kid, I wanted a huge party too, but I don't now. They look at me weirdly and they don't listen to me when I say no. I'm having a small cake cutting today. I hate it. Every time I think about it, I feel like crying. I don't feel like talking to anyone and I just want today to be a normal day.
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depression
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I never thought I masked. I only have mild ADD. I have felt like people are understanding something that I haven’t been told my whole life, but I fit in pretty well. Recently, I’ve been getting into trouble though. I’ll get drunk and it’ll come out. People get mad at me. Because I say what’s on my mind without the filter and ten minutes of thinking I usually put on it. But what I say normally isn’t mean, it’s just blunt. I still don’t believe I’m masking. Why would I? I need help and don’t know where to turn.
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ADHD
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A few months ago, this year, my parents hosted a birthday party for my dad. My aunt who ALWAYS asks why I don’t drive or go out. I’ve catered my life around being alone because of shit like this. Anyway, she once again asked WHY in front of everyone. When I tell you I wanted to destroy everything in my path, I was a hair thin away from doing it. I’m reminded of it now. I keep thinking about how most of the people and family at the event have no idea what is really going on. How they would’ve reacted had they seen what I become when pushed and stressed to do things I can’t do because I know I’m dangerous behind the wheel. Or why I don’t socialize much or am picky about my friends, because I end up losing them. I’m too much or unlikable, I get it. No matter how many times I try to express KINDLY why I choose to do the things that I do, they don’t get it.
Do they want me to have car accidents? I have kids. I think of them
Do they want me to constantly be getting into fights with others? I stay home and don’t socialize. I know myself enough.
It’s like they want me to do what THEY do, so they can just watch my downfall, so they can point and laugh, and judge me harder.
😭
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ADHD
|
I don’t know how to phrase this. I feel like I continuously make the wrong choices, and then I feel like I have to fulfill whatever task I set out to do, even if it means wasting time or doing something that isn’t actually beneficial, or worst case scenario, actually is harmful. I obsess and hyperfixate over something and then have to complete whatever task I set out to do and it just makes me suffer in the end, and I keep making it worse for my partner every time I do this. I try to be thoughtful and conscientious but sometimes it all goes flying out the window. I feel like I get into a loop almost… I don’t know, it becomes hard for me to focus on anything else, and it becomes hard for me to pause and stop to ask for help. I feel like I can’t take a second to reflect on what’s happening when I get frantic.
I just want to ask for suggestions for strategies to recognize when I’m in this loop, a way to snap myself out of it, a way to stop myself from being stuck in this weird hyperfixated mindset. Or, at the very least, how to figure out how to ask for help when I need it instead of plowing forward like a bull.
Please help, I can’t keep doing this.
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ADHD
|
I finally got my whiteboard put up a couple of days ago. It's in the hallway so I walk past it all the time, and it has a little tray for markers etc so I've put a timer on there. I've been setting the timer for 30 minutes at a time, so I have to get up and turn it off - which is stopping me getting engrossed in stuff and losing track of time. (Tried that before but didn't have a home for the timer, now it's somewhere I can't sit down and it's right next to my to-do list!)
Not sure how long this will work for, but I got a lot more than usual done yesterday and today!
Right now it's just a to-do list plus a couple of important appointments.
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ADHD
|
I’ve been off of Reddit for almost a year, but I had to come back to say thanks. I’m not perfect, I still have trauma and still get depressed and anxious and angry. But according to the DSM I no longer fall under the category of PTSD. It’s crazy to look back and recognize how different I am now and how much easier it’s gotten to live with trauma. I just wanted to thank everyone here for support and community, and just say that it can and will get better. Please keep going.
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ptsd
|
Hello! I just started taking 20mg vyvanse.
I was taking 10mg adderall (my body is so sensitive to medication lol)
And it gave me the boost of motivation and focus I needed to keep me from getting bored during work and to get me out of my paralysis, but LORD after like 3 weeks it made me personality-less and detatched.
I was then taking 5mg which just wasn't enough, so my doc switched me to vyvanse.
It's been a couple months since taking 10mg of adderall so when I first took the vyvanse two days ago, I was not necessarily feeling "cracked out" and cleaning my house corner to corner, but definitely a little more peppy and talkative and craving social interaction, but not quite euphoric. I hate this feeling bc I feel like I'm talking too much but I'm thoroughly enjoying still having a personality and not feeling irritable.
For anyone who has taken Vyvanse, how long did it take for your body to adjust to it? When can I expect to feel leveled out lol
Also, is headache a common side effect for you or am I dehydrated 😆
|
ADHD
|
Just wanna let you guys know that recovery is so hard. I don’t even know if it is attainable. I have false memory of a single event for over a decade, and my mind is stuck on that hiccup, unable to move on from it. I don’t think the meds are not helping at all in addressing these underlying beliefs. But therapy is so expensive. The non-specialists perhaps never even thought OCD can be manifested in false memories... (they might not even know OCD can involve aggressive and sexual content!!!)
Tell me guys, what should I do? Is it the meds that are making me more ill than ever? Or am I just using meds as an excuse to explain the “untreatable” form of my OCD? Help guys. I can’t go on any longer. I had two good days of no fap before succumbing to it and porn today. I really want to make positive changes to my life but I am so demoralised that I failed :(
(Sorry for ranting off charts. You are the only guys who understand what I’m going through, sort of?)
|
OCD
|
I don’t even know where to begin. My grandmother is the most toxic and vile person that I have ever come across. Not only just in real life either, but even across movies and TV shows. I can’t think of a more disgusting repulsive human being.
My first ever memory from my childhood is of her beating the shit out of me. I couldn’t have been more than 6 years old. I was on the couch in the fetal position trying to cover my head whilst taking shots. Then I blacked out.
This is about par for the course for grandma. In my family they say, “oh it’s just grandma being grandma. Just don’t think about it.”
I guess that’s just what you say when you’ve spent a life time taking beatings from this fucking midget ogre. I hear my mom and her sisters took beatings even worse than we did. I still remember her losing her mind and beating the living pulp out of my brother and my cousin. My grandpa had to tackle her and restrain her on numerous occasions. Prying whatever object out of her hands that she decided would be the tool she would use to beat us with; Broom handle, wooden beating paddle, bare knuckles with rings, didn’t matter.
It’s not like we were the worst kids in the entire fucking world either. Like we deserved to be beaten that way. All you had to do was look at her funny, or say something in the wrong tone, or disagree with her, or express your feelings, or just simply exist and be around her. Didn’t matter. If she wanted to dish out a beating, simply because she felt like it, well then you were going to catch a beating.
For some reason, everybody in my family still supports and sympathizes with this tragic waste of human life. I can only imagine this must be due to Stockholm syndrome. I sure as hell don’t fucking understand it. Fuck her.
The first and only time that I (or anybody for that matter) ever tried to stand up to her I almost died. She was calling my girlfriend a slut because she liked to wear thigh high skirts. I told her so what, I like the way she dresses and that’s all that matters. She told me her parents should be ashamed of her, I interrupted her and told her “yeah but you’re not her parents, she can do whatever she wants and she can wear whatever she wants. You are not her mother.” Grandma screams at me “EXCUSE ME! DONT YOU EVER TALK TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER THAT WAY! YOU LISTEN AND SHUT UP!” To which I carelessly and recklessly replied “fuck you, go fuck yourself. Nobody cares what you think”
She grabbed the biggest knife out of the kitchen, at minimum a 12” kitchen utility knife, and trotted her fat ass right towards me. Fire burning in her eyes. I jumped out of my chair and threw it behind me in the hopes that it would get in her way and slow down her chase. She stops at the other end of the kitchen table. I’m at the opposite corner, trapped. I instinctively grab the other chairs and pull them out, hopping I can use them some how to escape. We play a game of cat and mouse. Jab stepping both left and right to see who is going to make the first move. The stupid bitch takes my bait and goes right to where I faked, I dip and go around the other way. She lunges at me over the chairs and table, swiping at me with the giant fucking blade in her hand. I narrowly escape. I dip and bend my torso to avoid her savage attempts at murdering me. I sprint down the hall to my room. I try to shut the door but she’s right behind me trying to push it back open. I shove the door back into her and just barely get it to close behind me. I lock the door handle whilst she kicks, punches, and stabs at the door. All while screaming and screeching that she’s going to fucking kill me.
I call the police. They arrive moments later. I’ve already packed a bag of my necessities. I just want to get the fuck out of dodge. The cops escort me out as my my grandmother screams and yells to the cops to arrest me, to kick me out of her house. I walk out quietly and tell the cops I just want to leave and go to my friends house. They oblige.
This woman, my grandma, this piece of shit Is the reason that I suffer from PTSD. I don’t believe in a heaven or a hell, there is no reasoning or justice for the bull shit that she’s put me through, but I hope she spends eternity suffering a miserable existence. I don’t care what or where that is, just make her as miserable as she’s made the rest of this world.
Fuck you grandma you lousy piece of shit. I don’t give two shits about your final days here on earth. I hope it hurts, I hope you regret everything. I will never forgive you. You are not my family. We may be related by blood, but you are not my family. I get to choose the people in my family. Good fucking riddance.
|
ptsd
|
Sometimes I find myself criticizing everything: I walk and see a sign with misaligned text? I criticize it (in my head). I see some typo? I criticize it.
Are you like this too?
|
aspergers
|
Like I'm so jealous it can't be me. It doesn;t matter if I do something I like, I just have this udnerlying misery at ALL times
​
Nothing makes me happy anymore. How can people go about theit days without thinking about how pointless everything is. So what if I have a small glimpse of enjoying something? I do right back to being sad. It;s like 90% misery i hate it here
|
depression
|
I have started working from home, but I have no headset, and therefor no microphone. So I am looking to buy a headset. But I don't like wearing headsets, so I need something that's rather mild, as I will be wearing it for many hours per day. It doesn't need to be noise-reducing as I will only be using it in the comfort of my own home.
Does anyone have any good experience with headsets they can wear for a long time without getting stressed out by the touch of it? I appreciate any suggestions. Thank you for your help :)
|
aspergers
|
[https://youtu.be/AOy6hoCeF3c](https://youtu.be/AOy6hoCeF3c)
|
OCD
|
>**Abstract**: Women with active post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) have up to a 35% increased risk of preterm birth, yet little is known about treatment and its effects. We sought to evaluate frequency of PTSD treatment and its impact on spontaneous preterm birth in a population with a high prevalence of PTSD.
>
>**CONCLUSION**: In this cohort of women with active PTSD during
pregnancy, medication therapy was associated with up to a two-fold
increased risk of spontaneous preterm birth. Medication therapy
may be serving as a proxy for more severe disease state. Given these
results, future research investigating the impact of other types of
interventions in this population at high risk for preterm birth is
Warranted.
*Panelli, D. M., Chan, C., Shaw, J. G., Herrero, T., Lyell, D. J., & Phibbs, C. S. (2020). [504: Post-traumatic stress disorder in pregnancy: Does treatment impact the risk of preterm birth?](https://www.ajog.org/article/S0002-9378\(19\)31890-3/fulltext) American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, 222(1), S328. doi:10.1016/j.ajog.2019.11.520*
|
ptsd
|
Hi. For context, I have been in a relationship for a little bit over a year. I love my partner but I have struggled with ROCD. It got better for a few months and I spent them being all lovey dovey and picturing a future with my partner. I also spent many months loving the idea of having kids with him.
However, a few weeks ago I saw a bunch of tiktoks of mother talking about how they regret kids and all of a sudden I started having this awful anxiety as well as intrusive thoughts about if maybe I would hate being a mother too. It has escalated to full blown panic and now the thought of kids TERRIFIES ME and repulses me.
Not wanting kids means losing my partner whom I love so much and see a future with and also, I am at a loss about how all of a sudden I hate the idea of children. I am constantly anxious and obsessively googling how to know if i should have kids. I also cry all the time because I know that not wanting kids means ending a perfect, happy relationship that I adore.
Any advice?
|
OCD
|
My Grandma just died and she lived in a 55+ neighborhood, and she at least knew several other people here, as they have asked me about her as she was in the hospital.
I am afraid to walk the dog and run into them and say "she died" without adding that sad tone to it. I' afraid that they will get confused how I am not visibly sad and maybe think I am a bad person.
Am I worrying too much about that or is that a valid outcome if I am not visibly sad?
|
aspergers
|
Lived most of my life as a relatively healthy guy so I always go to the doc for my routine checkups (when I can remember to and don’t miss the appointment) but never saw my challenges as anything to speak up about. I’ve suffered from mild anxiety & depression and have been prescribed Wellbutrin which seems to work out. For work focus I will often pair Modafinil with my Wellbutrin but the result is often hyper focus on the wrong things if I’m not properly setup for success that day/ week.
With a formal diagnosis I now realize I have been suffering with ADHD for 15 years and somehow have managed to find ways to cope. I relate to so many posts on here it’s almost scary.
My question is… should I be looking into Adderall? I have been uncomfortable adding a habit forming substance to my daily routine but I also have to admit to myself that what I’ve been doing is only working marginally . I’m surviving, not thriving. Any advice or thoughts here would be great.
|
ADHD
|
Hey everyone! I'm wondering if anyone else does this or feels this way about relationships. Whenever I think about having a boyfriend it always seems like something I really want and then as soon as the opportunity comes I chicken out and feel almost paralyzed by indecision. I can't decide if I want to push myself and pursue the relationship or if I truly would rather be alone. I don't want to get involved with someone just to then cut it off really soon but I also don't want to miss out on the opportunity to have a good relationship.
I went out with a guy the other day and he's really nice but I can't figure out if I'd just rather be alone or if that's the ptsd trying to protect me from being really hurt again.
Anyway, sorry for the rant, I'm just wondering if other people feel the same and if so what you guys did about it!
|
ptsd
|
I'm struggling and need to talk. This is really awful, dark stuff - so please don't read if you're not in the headspace to do so. I also want to say that while I'm struggling with suicidal thoughts, I'm safe and I have a good support system.
Last year on January 7th someone in the building across from me hung themselves. I think maybe they cut themselves before they did it, so there was blood down the side of the building for a week or so. Some people in PPE eventually went and cleaned it up on a cherrypicker. I've been working from home all alone, so I look out onto this building 24 hours a day. You can see it very clearly from my bedroom/office.
Then in the summer, I was walking across a bridge. In my city, the bridge is notorious for suicides. They have positive quotes written into the concrete and a lot of suicide hotline phones. I was crossing and I saw a man standing looking down. I didn't think anything of it. A few minutes later the bridge is blocked off and police are sprinting past me. I look behind me and the man is gone - presumably jumped to his death.
Depression has always been an issue for me, but right now it's unbearable. I have suicidal thoughts every day, multiple times a day. I'm okay - I don't feel like I am going to hurt myself, but the thoughts are constant. I just want them to go away. I'm scared to start medication because I'm worried it'll make the thoughts worse. Never been on antidepressants apart from a short trial of Celexa... do they help?
I know it's been almost a year since that person hung themselves, but it's still so hard. I think about it every day. I wonder if the people in my life think I'm too sensitive. I don't know. Thank you to the health care workers and paramedics who deal with this stuff every day. I don't know how you folks do it, but I am appreciative and I am thinking of you all.
|
depression
|
Have any of you found that practicing erp has made your ocd questions of what if this what if that less rigid and more mushy and free form? For example, Ive noticed for me that my ocd doesnt really feel like questions anymore but much more like just a mushy ball of anxiety anytime im around anything that triggers it. This in itself has made my ocd worse in some ways even though erp helps overall.
|
OCD
|
I feel horrible every single day
Every day I just want to off myself
I just want to disappear
Everything hurts
|
depression
|
I’m frustrated with myself because of this. I try to find humor in it, but god fucking dammit - I want to get shit done and done as good as possible. It puts a damper on my productivity and being super productive makes me happier than anything else (currently).
If there’s trustworthy research on why this happens then I want to know.
What you, guys & gals? Do you also have that tendency to start a bunch of things or projects that end up being half-complete?
|
aspergers
|
I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD after having 15 years of disruptive symptoms. I was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder 5+ years ago and am medicated for that. I’m avoiding dealing with my ADHD because it means a med change, lifestyle changes, and learning how to manage it. That freaks me out and it makes me so overwhelmed that I shut down and can’t even bring myself to research my options online. Just trying to sort out how to approach my symptoms is impossible. It’s like I think ignoring it will make it go away, but I know I’ve been suffering for so long I can’t keep doing this.
This avoidance is really messing up my life. My work is trash, I can’t focus on anything, I lay in bed unable to even choose how to start my day, and I spend my evenings bouncing around doing a million things to manage the stress. I don’t know where to start but I know everyone here has been through this journey so:
How might I work with my psychiatrist to talk about my symptoms and my needs without shutting down and minimizing to avoid making decisions?
How do I create some mental separation between my diagnoses to reduce the confusion about what I attribute to ADHD?
Has anyone with bipolar disorder experienced this and how did you cope?
Tl/dr: Managing my bipolar disorder and ADHD is proving to be so difficult that I don’t know how to start dealing with it before my life spins out of control.
|
ADHD
|
Throwaway because i’m scared somehow what I type will lead back to me
ADHD has really fucked me up. Or so I like to think. It’s a pretty terrible mental debate for me as to whether or not some of my problems are the fault of ADHD, or if I’m just kind of fucked up naturally, and I don’t want to group everyone or anyone who has it into them so if you take offense i’m sorry.
ADHD has caused me bad grades, poor attentive skills, and much more that I don’t need to list because you all know what they are. You suffer them too. But let me tell you, it would be a godsend to JUST have to deal with those problems. Because the worst part of it, for me, is none of those.
It’s hyper fixation. I can’t take it, how attached I can get to anything. It's always been a problem, one that just keeps getting worse. Here's how it's most recently (though not very recent) affected me.
About 2 years ago, I discovered a new musical artist. Really liked her music. I listened to more and more of her music as time went on. There were nearly zero of her songs I didn't like. Soon it was all I listened to. And soon after that, I became rather infatuated with not just her music but her and her physical appearance. It honestly started out as a good thing I like to believe, it encouraged me to improve myself. I improved my school grades. I worked out more, and ate healthier. Mind you I, wasn't physically unhealthy, I just wanted to be *perfect* . And that's when it became a problem. I never really believed that I'd be *with her* , but I just kind of thought "don't worry about that. It's probably not true. You can think about that later, just focused on being absolutely perfect in the meantime. After all, There will never be any chance anyway if you are not an absolutely perfect human being". I came to reality with that, though, and it just put me in a depressive state. It didn't stop my attempts at self improvement, at becoming a perfect guy, though. It just changed my outlook on why. I thought, "why do I deserve to have gone through that? To be led on by myself?". I wanted to be perfect so I could do to other people what I had done to myself. I wanted people to be attracted to me, to be obsessed with me, because I'd never want them, and THEY'D see how it feels to be so fixated on someone or something and never achieve your goal, like it was THEIR fault somehow. I lost friends in this mentality too, surprise surprise. I don't know if my plan ever worked. I like to think it didn't. And I like to think that all of it was caused by having a mental disorder that was never in my control.
TL;DR: Hyperfixation on a musical artist fucked up my life
|
ADHD
|
This is the third day in a row that I have picked up a book and had the bad memory from the past come back to me of someone in my family threatening to stop buying me books because I am not understanding what they mean, just because I didn't know the meaning of some words. I feel trapped by the memory and it is something I managed to forget for so long, but it keeps popping up. It sucks because reading has brought me a lot of joy. I don't want that to go.
How do I overcome this?
|
OCD
|
I am investigating using SGB for my PTSD. I'm 66 and PTSD has ruined my life. I could have been so much more if I wasn't afraid ALL THE TIME. As it is, I'm closer to death than birth but I'd like some relief for the rest of my life.
Stella center takes NO insurance, they're a cash business. That's no help for impoverished seniors like me. But I checked around and there's a guy (Pain specialist) in the Bay Area who DOES take Medicare.
So FTM, fuck Stella Center. Ghouls who take advantage of the desperate.
|
ptsd
|
What are your best tips? Life issues are really setting off my hypervigilance/survival instinct although I know that feeling only make it worse to actually think clearly and do what needs to be done. So what do you do?
|
ptsd
|
And if you do bad things but for good reasons does it follow as above.
|
aspergers
|
I have no skill, I am good at nothing... I used to love volleyball and was amazing at rainbow six siege, I realized I suck at volleyball, and after getting rejected from the junior volleyball team at my HS I gave up on volleyball. Realizing there was no point in continuing something that I was clearly not good at and was routinely causing me mental pain. I have nothing I'm good at... FUCK, I GOT REJECTED FROM A JUNIOR VOLLEYBALL TEAM, I SUCK AT EVERYTHING, I SUCK AT FOOTBALL, SOCCER, BASKETBALL. All this pain has made me resent myself and sports.
I have nothing, I can't afford hobbies, I want to be more athletic but I am good at nothing, maybe I should just go to a gym, at least there I don't suck
|
depression
|
OCD is slowly killing me, it’s been two years since everything started and things are going worse every day, medicines aren’t working, therapy isn’t helping, my mind finds a new “what if” to obsess about every day, I’m lucky when these thoughts stay with me only for a few hours or a day, some of them are with me for years and I can’t live like this anymore, I want to disappear, my life is ruined forever thanks to this
|
OCD
|
Just caught myself rambling about that. Mine are mostly at night, specially after everyone is asleep. There’s something too chilling about it that makes my OCD and overall anxiety go through the roof. What about you guys?
|
OCD
|
Hi,
I've seen that exposure therapy is considered the most effective treatment for OCD. I'm wondering how it would work for anxiety and fears about something bad happening in the future including religious thoughts of being damned. My obsessions say that if I don't do certain actions/rituals, then some relatives will get in a car accident or something else terrible will happen. This is at some undetermined time, it could be years in the future. There's no way for me to "test" this, i.e. I could suppress the compulsion and wait a year but would still have the thought that the bad thing could happen next year. It's like a karma thing, it builds up and at some point will cause the bad event, but I never know when.
Of course some bad thing will happen sometime anyway, so then I worry that I caused that by not doing the ritual.
This is even harder with fear of religious punishment/damnation because obviously I can't "test" it until I'm dead.
Do you have any advice???
|
OCD
|
I’m currently 19 years old, every damn day I can’t go without thinking of problems I have. When I was little my mother left my father Bc he would hit her then when I was 5 my mom met my stepdad and they’ve been together ever since, when I first started bonding with my stepdad it was always arguing and every little thing it would be a big issue. Now whenever I’m around him I feel weird like he doesn’t like me I always feel out of place when he’s around, I feel like if I wasn’t part of the family they would be happy, honestly all I cause them is issues and I always have to hear them getting mad at me. Don’t get me wrong my mother loves me but I always fuck shit up where it leads to them getting mad. My little brothers we argue and fight like normal brothers but my parents think I do that because I don’t like them because they’re my step fathers children (with my mom ofcourse) (that’s just one thing that makes me think). In 2019 I met a beautiful girl who was all about me she was perfect, she loved me so much she was always all over me making sure my head was high and made sure I was doing okay I can’t explain the love she had for me then I ruined it not once not twice not 3 times but 4. It was a simple break up nothing serious like me cheating or anything. She got with someone else they lasted 9 months then she came running to me Bc she got cheated on. Btw I was heartbroken all the time she was gone, every damn day I would cry Bc of this girl asking myself how could I fumble someone so good for me. And me being super in love I take her back and we start going back to together again. Mind you I was doing Xanax before she came back. It slowly started to fade away. She started to hang with her friends a lot and that’s cool with me but she would put our time aside or not make time to be with her friends and it got to a point where it out my head in like “she doesn’t want you bro” state so I started fighting harder and the deeper I went the further she got. One day we were at a party and Itolf her it seemed like she was being hell distant recently and she responded with “okay?” That day I knew it was over. She kept telling me she wasn’t ready for a relationship my head with erutbwre with this girl. She would listen to me and talk with me if I needed to which I loved that about her but I expressed my feelings too damn much thinking it was gonna make it better. One day I was done I was going to overodose off Xanax. I was ready to go buy them then I hear a knock and it was her she brought me food and told me to spit them out I don’t ducking know how she found out or I was high asl and didn’t remember telling her. She saved my life that day. Now she found someone which I’m happy she did she’s a good loving person I just wasn’t the one. That fucks me up everyday. Then other things I let them pile up I wait the last minute to do shit and I always end up fucking my self over im tirred I rewlly want to finish it all. I’m strong I can cope with negative thoughts and get they then but honestly I really want to end it Idk how long I can take this before I do it. IF YOU READ THIS FAR THANK YOU GOD BLESS VRRY SINGLE ONE OF YOU AND I HOPE YOU ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS ….
|
depression
|
I experienced a trigger about a month and a half ago that has not lifted, and it’s taken everything from me, including the ability to be myself. I remember old times I had with friends, and I’m unable to be that person anymore. Mostly because I do not experience emotion outside of this trigger anymore. I am no longer able to be present, and anything I experience is just my mind using external forces to try to reinforce the trigger. I cannot connect. I cannot do anything.
My mind broke. I’m fucked.
.
I can’t even explain it and no one will understand, because it would take an eternity for someone to understand how it happened and how things would have been but were ruined by the trigger. I wrote a whole essay on it on my profile if you want to read about it, but that doesn’t even do it justice.
I don’t think I’ll experience good times ever again. All my mind cares about is this trigger. I look back at all the memories I had, and I feel like every moment since this trigger hasn’t mattered like they did. Since the trigger, it has ruined everything I’ve tried to do and disconnected me from the girl I loved, reality, and my friends.
I understand why. I understand how my whole life was rooted in an attachment trauma. And how it would’ve healed. And instead the worst possible trigger that had almost no chance of happening somehow happened. And reinforced everything. And broke my mind. And now I’m fucked.
Everything is ruined and there’s nothing I can do.
This was intense panic, the feeling of extreme panic already and that it would never go away. Now it’s fading into just passive rumination and ultimately just giving up on everything I cared about involuntarily even though it was the last thing I wanted for that to happen because the panic became too much.
Before I felt panicked and obsessed and intense dysphoria because I wanted to fix things (even though I knew I couldn’t, and if this trigger hadn’t happened, all that panic and dysphoria would’ve instead been excitement to move forward and euphoria), but now my mind is realizing it can’t do it and is starting to give up, and those emotions have begun to turn into submission, and it feels like everything I cared about and the girl I loved is being lost and my mind has been nurtured from its passion and is starting to become content to give up, which was my biggest fear.
I’m fucked.
|
OCD
|
So to preface this I am was taking Concerta and now I am taking Elvanse/Vyvanse. I will describe my experiences on both of them down below.
18mg Concerta - I feel absolutely normal and same, no side effects
36mg Concerta - Feel normal same as above
56mg Concerta - Here I was seeing “slight” improvements, I could finally feel it “kicking in” but it would disappear after 3-4 hours, this is still placebo territory and far from “ eye opening “ and “everything just cleared up”
72mg Concerta - Toughts going at 500 miles per hour, for the first two hours, then after would be a bliss period for about an hour or two. After that it was same old. Still no side effects.
Vyvanse 30mg - Nothing or “slight” placebo effect.
Vyvanse 50mg - Possibly more sociable/talkative but no focus improvements, possibly more “calm” but again placebo. No side effects on both doses except for maybe the 50mg makes me want to pee more?
So here I am now, after spending a lot of money, time and effort to try to get help, I am left feeling almost stupid, the psychiatrist told me these meds usually work for people, and I read a lot of positive posts and got my expectations up. Was anyone in a similar situation and could they provide any information about how they found the right stuff?
|
ADHD
|
Is OCD manifesting in appearance issues common for anyone else? I haven’t really seen it mentioned before.
Sometimes I catch myself judging how I look, how I dress, my weight, height, hair, everything ... and thinking “wow, I look like a creep...”
Even if I don’t!
It madly exacerbates POCD, HOCD, any moral issues etc., as I struggle to look as bland as possible to avoid such thoughts. This leads to guilty thinking that I “must be hiding something” by going to so much effort. It’s a vicious cycle.
I’ll look for anything that “proves” it. My hair looks similar to this one random person’s mugshot? Guilty! I’m a male/female in my 20s/30s/40s? Hey, just like that other criminal! Guilty!
It seizes onto the most ridiculous shit too. Glasses? Blonde hair? “Just like that one guy you saw.....”
I’m guessing OCD takes advantage of an already tenuous self esteem to further justify its bullshit, as it’s a subject prone to subjectivity and uncertainty. God, I hate this.
|
OCD
|
I have been washing my hands over and over again lately, I chew my nails, I pick my boogers, I overthink myself a lot, For the past few days I've been waking up and washing hands, and wiping down my laptop with a wipe, I relate to many of the stuff on this subreddit, I constantly dwell on the past and I admit a lot of stuff to my friends and many more.
|
OCD
|
Like you're just a deer in headlights or don't know what to do. I have a thing of not even reacting to verbal abuse or physical till after. Anyone else? Is this an autism thing or cycle of passivity thing?
|
aspergers
|
Acting is a great job with no barriers to entry. I'm working on the Adam Sandler movie in Philadelphia. It's cool that Adam was out there at 4am with us.
I've met some Aspies on set, and we agree that the particular controlled chaos is really super comfortable, and there's a lot of technical work going on- fascinating to watch them rig a camera or light a scene.
I've done most of my work in Philadelphia and Baltimore. Heery Loftus Casting handles casting for movies in Philadelphia. It was Pat Moran in Baltimore, but I don't know what's up with her. Pat hooked me up on Veep. Kimberly Skyrme handled House of Cards at the end.
It's neat, because it's not up to you. You don't have to make any decisions. Heck- they'll even tell you what to say. And it's so over-the-top diverse. Nothing about it looks like a job.
And think about who the other actors are. Background can be anyone with time on their hands. You don't have to socialize, but you can, and the atmosphere has always been pretty friendly.
Don't buy a headshot unless you want to invest in this as a \~career. Use a selfie that looks like you. Send it in. Get some jobs and see if it's worth the hassle. Literally anyone can do it.
The food is awesome. I joined the actors' union, but most acting opportunities are outside the system. Sirens Media is in Silver Spring, MD and they make all the murder reenactments, the Hallmark channel stuff.
I need job where I can be a fucking oddball, and I fit right in.
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aspergers
|
I’ve read a few articles on ADHD and insecure attachments, and was curious to know if anyone saw any change in how they formed relationships after being treated/medicated.
I’m fairly distant and have a hard time missing people, a difficult time keeping consistent relationships and forming solid emotional connections. Everything about my life is inconsistent, I do have intense relationships sometimes, people at the moment where I feel I’ve known them all my life and would defend them till the end- but after a small hiatus I don’t miss them. It’s like they never existed in my life the moment I don’t see them anymore, but when I do see them again it’s like they never left. I want to form meaningful connections one day, but they’re as inconsistent as my cyclical hobbies. ‘Out of sight, out of mind’ kind of feeling.
So I was curious if medication had changed that for anyone?
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ADHD
|
I just found out that because ADHD is considered a disability it may be eligible for a disability tax rebate in Canada. Has anyone tried applying for this? What exactly does it cover? Does it cover medication and cognitive behavioral therapy costs? How difficult was the process? Does the US have similar programs?
|
ADHD
|
i've locked the door thirty times today,
i have closed the window thirty times today,
i've closed everything thirty times today...
|
OCD
|
How have you dealt with it, especially if you cannot step out of the house?
|
depression
|
Researchers found that mindfulness meditation had “a significant and large effect” on OCD symptoms, specifically on thought-action fusion (again, the belief that having a thought is the same as acting on the thought), and the ability to “let go” of unwanted thoughts.
People who struggle with intrusive thoughts of a sexual or aggressive nature may find that a well-developed ability to watch thoughts go by makes the difference between desperately using compulsions to make the thoughts go away, or instead successfully managing their OCD. But, a person trapped by an endless cycle of washing, checking, or cleaning is experiencing exactly the same struggle with accepting thoughts, feelings, and sensations as people with intrusive thoughts. So, mindfulness is really for anyone who wants to stop feeling like what is going on inside their mind is a burden.
Mindfulness meditation is an exercise which aims to put to rest the selfish compulsive thought and action that dominates daily living. It accomplishes this by letting us live in the now. By slowing our pace or stopping everything all together and simply listening without judgment, one is forced back to the present.
Looking back and anticipating things to come is the cornerstone of discontent and anxiety. Looking back is simply playing games with dead thoughts and experiences. Looking to the future is the abstraction of past ideas to what may become. Mindfulness meditation is a selfless immediate relationship with the present and in this present exists peace and tranquility. And while **mindfulness can be performed as you are walking or eating** let me first discuss the basic technique for sitting meditation:
To begin, sit in a comfortable position and try to let all tension in your body dissipate. Focus on your breathing first, then move your awareness to what it feels like to be in your body, and finally move on to your thoughts.
Be aware of what comes into your head, but resist the urge to label or judge these thoughts. Think of them as a passing cloud in the sky of your mind.
If your mind wanders to chase a thought, acknowledge whatever it was that took your attention and gently guide your attention back to observing your thoughts without judgment. [Read in details here](https://www.livewelltalk.com/2020/02/Meditation-Techniques-for-Anxiety-and-Panic-Attacks.html).
***Here is a video on how to simply start with it***… **⇓**
[**https://youtu.be/jtqwrdiRYwM**](https://youtu.be/jtqwrdiRYwM)
|
OCD
|
My intrusive thoughts are usually violent or sexual. They used to make me scared and now they don't? And I feel like they're not coming from my ocd anymore. It feels like I want to think about them. Maybe it was never ocd and this is just who I am. That's how some people are right? So why am I the exception.
|
OCD
|
There is no point to life. Everything you know, literally everything about you, even your bones, your atoms will eventually be gone. Let's say tech improves crazy and we all live to 250 years old, what the fuck does that matter to you when your dead. When people die, do they remember anything, is anything in their organic body functional at all, no. I'm a doctor, but I don't feel like I am saving any lives, I am only prolonging the end. One thing I don't understand is why people who die feel like others need to go with them, or why for the matter, they always target defenceless innocent people like the crazy burst of school shooting in the US recently. Like if I wanted to seriously end myself at this moment, I'd make a (successful) attempt on Kimmy Jong Un's life or Putin's etc., cause at least that would bring some good for the world and the people that choose to stay in for the slightly longer right, but again this is all hypothetical so don't get political on me. My point is: what is the point? The answer? There is simply no point at all. Why do I live, I honestly do not know anymore. Any insights would be great, would be cool to hear about which other dictators are running the lives of millions, but still live a long and luxurious life themselves, nothing is right with this world, everything is wrong, let's stop pretending and start rumbling haha
|
depression
|
A homeless man peed outside the train station today then sprinted up the stairs wiping his hands on the railing and his pants. I opted for the elevator. Then two *different* men were spitting up and down the sidewalk at the station . I started to dry heave under my mask at the sight of it. THEN the seat I chose on the train had dried spit on the adjacent wall. I full on gagged and tensed up. It felt like the walls were closing in on me. I realized I was about to start hyperventilating and tried to slow my breathing. I texted my bf everything I had just witnessed and joked about wanting to wear a hazmat suit for the train but seriously even without OCD these things are downright disgusting. This is not the first time digustung things incite panic in me 😔
|
OCD
|
I’m just going ask do you people have advice on dating when you have autism because I have Autism and I really want to date but don’t how I’ve tried multiple dating apps but hasn’t worked but do you guys have any advice on dating on the spectrum it will really help thank you
|
aspergers
|
Im ruminating on the fact that i cant try psychedelics for my ocd and depression because a microdose of lsd gave me HPPD, i see all these articles on how beneficial psychedelics is for mental health and for me it feels like they are the only solution to my depression and ocd because ive already tried therapy , lots of meds (yes meds help a bit but doesnt really fix the root problem and my ocd is still severe )
Honestly everytime i see someone who said shrooms etc cured their depression / ocd/ anxiety i feel happy for them offcourse but i get this bad feeling and jelousy because i Cant try psych myself because of my HPPD that lsd microdose gave me, my ocd is driving me crazy because of this i know its pointless to ruminate on it but i cant stop ruminating on the fact that i can never try macrodosing for my mental health in a controlled getting because therapy doesnt do shit and meds only numbs the symptoms
TL;DR Microdosing helped the days i dosed but no more than that and now im ruminating on the fact that i can nevdr try a macrodose for my depression and ocd due to my HPPD and i feel like im doomed forever, tried therapy, meds, diet etc nothing have really been beneficial
|
OCD
|
i dunno if its my ptsd or what. on a given project im painfully slow at processing information, but once its processed im painfully slow at doing the work. in the past it was manageable but now i cant even get myself to focus, and when i do, i get burnt out so easily. have adhd meds helped anyone?
im only smart enough for my professors to consider me "special" or for my peers to "believe in me", but it makes me feel like an imposter when i dont follow through with what they see in me. i just failed a class i was completely capable of passing
its so unfair. its hard to have a realistically positive outlook on the future when youre on your way to becoming only half the person you could have been (which id rather die than become). im watching myself underachieve and i dont know what to do to stop it. i couldnt even cry about it until i started writing this
|
ptsd
|
I've recently gotten diagnosed and I feel relieved because all my life I've known that there was something wrong with me, specifically with dopamine. I was prone to addictions, depression & I felt like I couldn't have access to an adult life, if that makes sense? Like there was a wall that stopped me from being able to deal with the outside world.
Anyways, rambling aside, I've been on ritalin for a week and so far so good <3 I can be focused on one thing at a time & I feel like that wall has been destroyed.
The problem is, when the Ritalin effects go away, I feel pretty low so I can't help but think veeery negative things, like:
"You don't really have ADHD, you're just looking for an excuse for your laziness" or
"You're just looking for an answer to your problems but the reality might be much worse than that (I've complex trauma and other things, but ADHD is the easiest thing to solve I guess)".
I know that these are mainly caused by this tiny depression I get after Ritalin wears off, but the thoughts stay in my head & I wanted to know if I'm not alone.
|
ADHD
|
my mom and i have both suspected that i have adhd for over a year now, and we want to look for a psychiatrist or something to get an official diagnosis, but everywhere we look, it says that getting one can cost upwards of $1000, usually more, and its kind of scaring me. not sure where to go from here.
is it even worth getting a diagnosis?
|
ADHD
|
My OCD seems to have moved on to something entirely new. For the last year or so, I've been fixated on aches and pains and it feels like it is the only thing I can pay attention to. It's more aches than pain, not enough to warrant taking even any sort of over the counter pain killers, but they are always there for me.
I've had health, p and hOCD in the past, for awhile, I felt like I had won against OCD. Now it feels like I am back at square one.
Any one else? I feel anxious, depressed, it's awful.
|
OCD
|
First post here, and it may be a little long... I will try to Cliffs Notes it, but requesting you be gentle, as I am already losing it a little.
Diagnosed PTSD several times over due to a traumatic injury, a miscarriage at 5 months, rape, domestic violence, and childhood abuse. I know my triggers, and I have worked my ass off to control them and heal myself as much as I could.
More recently (the past 18) I have been stalked by a community volunteer I used to mentor, threatened, and physically assaulted. After all this, my best friend of several years used intimate knowledge of my normally controlled triggers (and happily shared them with coworkers) to harass me until I was suicidal... then made sure I was fired for being so from my job of TEN years.
I'm trying desperately to figure out how I could live through so much and be just absolutely annihilated by recent events... am I just too damaged? Did it all get to be too much? Is ANY bit of strength I had just gone? I have been dealing with this for so many years, and I am really struggling to understand how lost and broken I am right now.
Experiences, feedback, tips, and knowledge welcome.
|
ptsd
|
Is it possible for us to become self accountable about things that are painfully uninteresting? I can only rarely do it for interesting and engaging things I want to be doing. My therapist wants to work on my ability to hold myself accountable to getting things done, I will say I do have a problem with not being fully truthful with my parents when they ask if I'm on top of things but you all know how hard that is especially after the American education system gets done with us.
What I'm asking is, is this something I can do, something that I can strengthen to the point that it is reliable, or do I need to focus my energy elsewhere like in support systems?
I'm just trying to get by in a way that will actually work for my brain.
|
ADHD
|
When worry no longer has a narration and intrusive thoughts aren't a scenario you're imagining, but something you know.
It doesn't sound like "you will get sick you will get sick you will get sick" on loop, the loop ends and it ends with reality altering knowledge, that you're going to get sick. You are. Other people don't know. You know. The heartbreak of it. The discociation. The stress. The time jumping to when you are sick and back.
The mental toll it takes to process and cope with knowledge like that constantly being implanted into you can't be language'd.
I have more vivid memories of being left by people who never left me, than I do of the time I spent with them.
I have memories of feeling the bacteria of my partners past partners on my skin.
Everytime I do my dishes I have the food scraped off of them shoved down my throat.
That's what's missing in trying to convey this experience to others. It's not just the worry. It's when the worry becomes knowledge. It's the knowing. The memories of alternate realities and trying to move on from them.
|
OCD
|
So I have been long time friends with this guy whom I likely on the aspie spectrum.. I did not know or suspect that he was on the spectrum but now further research leads me to believe he is.
Long story short when covid hit alot changed I became needy and would go to him with issues I believe I overwhelmed he him he felt guilty there was alot of confusion and misunderstandings
He pushed me away ghosted me I went to see him a few months ago he said we would talk and seemed happy to see me but I have not heard back I know he has an overwhelming job and alot going on I also know he doesn't lie but may have forgotten to text..
What should I do? Should I reach out again?
|
aspergers
|
I'm a former resident of Sandy Hook (was in my senior year of high school when the shooting took place) and was also at the Boston bombings a few months later. Been through extensive therapy, including 3 months of EMDR, and am finally on a good medication regimen.
Things have honestly been great for the past few years - I'm in grad school, in a great relationship and I have an awesome side job. Haven't needed therapy for about a year and a half now. But every year when the anniversary of the Sandy Hook shooting approaches, I'm a mess for a good three weeks. Functional, but barely. Tons of intrusive thoughts, trouble focusing, dissociation, etc. After the anniversary things go back to normal (or as normal as they can be).
To some degree I know that healing is lifelong. But then there's the other half of my brain that's saying... it's been SEVEN YEARS. I should have this under control. I can't just check out for three weeks of the year.
Anybody else have this with significant dates or anniversaries? Does it get better?/is there something I should be doing to make this easier on myself?
|
ptsd
|
For all you psychology nerds here, I've recently discovered that some of my relationship issues (both platonic and romantic) appear to be caused by poor object constancy.
Although I'm not sure how much of my poor object constancy is down to Aspergers or external factors such as poor parenting.
|
aspergers
|
So when I was at the doc’s office getting the prescription for Celexa, I asked if I could still occasionally smoke alongside it. I smoke a very small amount (2-4 hits off a cartridge) every 2-3 weeks to help zone out to music and art projects. He recommended I be on the meds for at least 6 weeks before trying to smoke. What’s been your experiences?
|
ptsd
|
Hey,
So i’ve been struggling with a resurgence of an old theme recently, (cancel culture OCD as it relates to something i did do as a kid) And i often come on here and other places and see how so many people have the same theme or similar thoughts and it helps, however my brain still tells me that my version has all this evidence and that it’s an actual threat and there’s isn’t. I’m sure this is something you’ve all felt before so, how do you counter it? As of typing this I can’t imagine a world where my thoughts aren’t perfectly true and rational.
|
OCD
|
hi so, its 9:29 at night and I am genuinely happy because I just got up and am cleaning my hamster cages after about 3-4 weeks. I normally don’t ever take this long to clean them but I’ve been awfully unmotivated and I’ve been beating myself up over it but I have a bunch of energy and I’m super happy. I’m going to switch out the toys and houses and they're gonna love it. I wanna use this cute Halloween bedding too but I gotta use up my other bedding first ugh
|
ADHD
|
I am having an anxiety and Real Event OCD episode and I need someone I can talk with. I would be really grateful, thank you
|
OCD
|
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