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Is driving ok for you? If so, how do you manage? I was practicing my driving yesterday for first time after years and it was very challenging V_V Had to turn off music, the wipers would annoy me and when it got dark any light coming would stress me out :(
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aspergers
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I have been extremely paranoid about covid again since the delta variant has made its way to the U.S. I had to call off last week because I was crying and panicking. I was panicking because I had been getting headaches and was paranoid it could be covid. Now I have a sore through and slight cough and am seriously paranoid and dealing with guilt about possibly spreading covid if I have it. I would like to get family medical leave for my ocd not only for covid related anxiety, but for any days where my anxiety is extreme. A month ago I tried keeping myself together and when I got to work I bawled my eyes out in the parking lot panicking, and called off (so embarrassing :( ) So I was curious, anyone have any luck?!
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OCD
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The first year I was in treatment- to deal with a hellacious eating disorder and some trauma
The 6 months after was due to covid
And so now he and I are going to see each other very very soon - I’m flying to him-
And I know physical intimacy is going to be something that happens- so I was just wondering if anyone had any tips on how to deal with that for the first time after a while- and also after trauma (I slept with him after the traumatic event 2 years ago) but it’s also been 2 years since I’ve “done the deed” and so I’m just very nervous about all of this-
I’m mainly scared about flashbacks or dissociating during the experience with him, and so I just want it to be special-
Thanks-
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ptsd
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I’m currently on Zoloft 100mg , propranolol and some other meds relating to other disorders. I’ve noticed there’s a lot of people with OCD or undiagnosed OCD who don’t use meds? Also seen people who use 5htp and other similar substances, Just interested in peoples experiences, and why they choose not to take meds or vise versa.
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OCD
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It had nothing to do with her, is the thing. I'm not still secretly attracted to her, and in fact can scarcely remember what she looks like. The thing my brain was telling me was that I would somehow lose my ability to play guitar if I moved my hands beyond or close to my laptop, which was laying beside me at the right side of the bed (this would of course include touching the keyboard), if I did so before remembering this girl's last name. I'm no BB King but I do love playing guitar. Still didn't think of this (almost certainly now married) girl's last frigging name but all I have to say is, F\*CK that invasive thought and the horse it rode in on...
It just got me thinking about what OCD is, at least to me, and I would appreciate input from others if you care to do so. IDK about y'all, but my invasive thoughts ALWAYS center around the possible loss of something I value: My intellect/wit (not saying I'm Oscar Wilde or anything, but it's something ppl enjoy about me); or my ability to play guitar, or to write, etc.
This mental illness is ALWAYS trying to tell me what I'm going to lose if I don't do or say or remember some arbitrary bullcrap thing, and that is how I have learned, after YEARS, that it is something to be taken seriously and FOUGHT against. It's not cute, it's not quirky, it's a potentially debilitating ILLNESS. Hear me when I use that word. You have no authority here, invasive thought!!! None whatsoever to run my life!!!
If you are struggling with such thoughts today, please know I understand you. You CAN overcome it, but even if you don't this time, you still have ENORMOUS value in this world. I DO feel your pain, and I love you as much as an internet stranger can. That is all.
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OCD
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A friend of mine had once mentioned to me that he didn’t like how I talked about myself too much so last night I told him that I guess that was my adhd and how crazy it is to think how much it impacts every aspect of my life and that I don’t really have the same levels of dopamine etc.
And then he responded to all that by saying how he’s glad to see me accept my shortcomings and how much he respects that???!? What my message clearly meant was to just raise awareness about how adhd impacts my life and I know adhd is a disability but I can’t believe he would describe it as a shortcoming?? This isn’t some general negative trait like being inconsiderate or ‘talking too much’, this is the reason WHY I talk too much. I mean you wouldn’t tell a person with poor eyesight who has glasses that you’re proud of them for accepting their shortcomings?
Just makes you wonder how he views it in his head. He’s supposed to be a really nice, understanding and smart guy and I just want to tell him you lack basic understanding of mental health, google this shit, it’s not difficult to do!
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ADHD
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Basically I post fanart online and I was drawing a fanart and it included the couple I like with babies like they had a family and stuff cuz people requested that and I remember like in one of the drawing clips the babies were in diapers but just in a normal baby way like it wasn’t sexual at all just a freaking baby lol. But my POCD makes me hyper aware of that stuff and scared. and I felt a bit worried like if that was bad to draw babies in diapers and like felt scared that I would be viewed as a pedo for doing that and stuff even tho I never saw it in a sexual way but my irrational thoughts have fears like that.
So today i was looking at the drawing and I was just wandering in thought not paying much attention and just remembered like, well I can’t remember my exact thought process or why I had the respond which is why I’m freaking out because usually when I have a groinal I can remember my exact thought process and can recognize that it was clearly anxiety induced. But this time I can’t. I just remembered like that the babies would only be in diapers and I had a groinal response it only lasted for like a second but now I’m freaking out like what if that meant I am attracted to the thought of babies like that???What if I enjoyed the groinal? Because usually my groinals are caused by panic and I can clearly recognize it as that. It could be that I thought about the anxiety of them being in diapers and that’s why I got a groinal???? Idk I can’t remember And I hate that I can remember because it means it possibly could mean I got a groinal response because I like that thought??? What if I’m a pedo who likes babies? I know I’m not into babies but maybe I secretly am because of that tiny response and I don’t know what to do.
I remember when drawing it I felt some fear because of my POCD but ever other time I looked at it I never got any response or arousal or anything of that sort.
My POCD has always been centered fear around like kids not babies I know I’m not attracted to babies the thought grossed me the hell out. But I’m scared what that meant because it wasn’t like my usual groinals I think? Unless I did have an anxious thought and I just can’t remember it now cuz I’m having trouble remembering the exact process of what happened. I hate this
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OCD
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It’s hard work but it’s so worth it!
The last 3-4 years have been a whirlwind. I went from being mostly “normal” with a few quirky rituals and habits to fairly quickly spiraling into obsessions and compulsions that took over my life. At one point I couldn’t drive, leave the house, use the stove or oven, and was barely taking care of myself. I couldn’t function in the real world anymore or continue to work.
About 2 years ago I started seeing a psychiatrist but was resistant to therapy. I caved a year ago and it’s been the best decision I could have made for myself. We started with small goals, just little things like leaving the house and gradually reducing the time it took to get out the door. It’s been a lot of hard work and it hasn’t been easy to push past the things that caused me so much distress.
After a year my therapist told me that she thinks I’ve finally done it. I’ll always have OCD but she’s confident that it’s no longer impacting my life severely on a daily basis. I still have stuff to work on but its all things I’ve planned and strategized how to tackle myself. She’s officially “graduating” me from our planned therapy sessions and moving me to an “as needed” basis. It seems like something small but I needed to share with people who would understand how big of a mountain it is!
I can’t wait to see what the next year will hold for me! I have so much more joy in my life now that I feel like I’ve taken control of my life back from my OCD!
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OCD
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My family refuses to believe there is anything wrong with me and will never respond accurately to any questions. I engage in heavy, well-calculated masking behaviors and so the few friends I have, may not have any idea what's going on. I am worried that this aspect of the testing will be very inaccurate and I am very sure there is something going on with me.
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ADHD
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So im at the end of my rope. Really. tired of listening to others, following advice, putting it into practice. Only to be abandoned when it suits them. I really have a fuck it attitude. Gonna do what i want. And not listen to bullshit advice. Had enough. Where does it get you in the long run?
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aspergers
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I asked if there was anyway to help with my phycosis and this mother fucker had the fucking audacity to ask me if I youknowwhatbate, by his post history he was way older and said that I only had mental illnesses for attention? I have now left the subreddit while haven a panic attack. Help me I’m crying so fucking much I can’t. Btw there was one helpful comment just so you don’t judge people with phycosis. Sorry for my English I’m not a native English speaker. Oh and I blocked him. And I have severe OCD severe anxiety and psychosis.
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OCD
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I’ve been making this video series with my parents (both of whom are therapists) about different mental fitness strategies, this week's video is a guided visualization exercise to destress.
Hope you find it helpful :)
https://youtu.be/zj1QZTpG0mo
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ptsd
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[https://www.eurekalert.org/pub\_releases/2021-03/uoc--sfa031221.php](https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2021-03/uoc--sfa031221.php)
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aspergers
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I don't think I can explain the entire story but could get some help to cure depression?
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depression
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After all this therapy I had, I'm still to get a proper reason to keep on living? I'm unsocial, uncharismatic, unattractive, unintelligent, unphysical, uncreative and everything else? How the hell am I supposed to get a job that doesn't slave you away with those perks?
I haven't been touched in since forever. I'm going to die alone. Dying alone is fine but the suffering up until there is torturous.
Don't call reddit support on me, ok? I'm not going to off myself but got I wish I could scare away the pain to do so. Maybe someday as I have little hope in my life.
What a shitty life, no one deserves it so why am I let be alive?
If someone could just kill me quickly and I'll stop being sad.
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depression
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It's my birthday! Another year passes by. I guess I'm in a way better place than I was last year but with maturity I guess I've realised I'm the problem in my own life. I've realised that I tend to sabotage my own life and I have no idea how to fix that no matter what I do.
I guess I just expect life to do me dirty so I just do myself dirty first and it's so hard sometimes as I know I'm the reason I'm depressed.
Here's to another year surviving and learning.
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depression
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So, I'm a high anxiety person due to my PTSD (and a couple other issues) and very much an introvert.
I'm getting married this October. Although it's going to be the happiest day ever with loved ones surrounding me, I am freaking out over the idea of being the center of attention! I usually house behind my fiance and/or best friend, chiming in little when I have something to say, but able to vanish too. That's just not going to happen when I'm the bride. Even with them both right next to me, I'm not going to be able to hide behind them. People tend to notice the bride, and if she vanishes.
I don't know how to deal with being the center of attention. Any advice would be appreciated.
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ptsd
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Today was really bad, but I guess it's gonna be the normal for this winter season.
Somehow my adhd has gotten worse(it always does get worse during summer and supposed winter but this time it's alot alot worse.) I've been spacing out/hyper fixating on things alot more than what I'm used to, my speech is irregular(slowing down/speeding up at unexpected times) and I can't do things I don't like without messing it up(chores mostly) and now my mom yelled at me asking me to just be a normal kid, and whatever nonsense since I also spaced out in the conversation too.
Thing is, I'm not actually professionally diagnosed so I can't buy medication and even if I can it's too expensive to buy for regular use. My pediatrician is good with kids and teens with mental health and disorders and advice my mom to bring me to a psychiatrist but my parents don't believe in mental disorders, they just think I'm a lazy pig who does nothing but paint or play.
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ADHD
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Hi all - I’m going to be seeing a new psych this week (just wasn’t a good fit for me with the other one, not really attentive and just kind of appeasing if that makes sense). My therapist recommended I find someone a bit more involved and I agree.
That said I’m a little nervous. I’ve been on Effexor/pristiq for years and brain zaps are real. I’m also worried I’m going to lose my creative spark I’ve had for the past month. While I do agree the Effexor has definitely lost its potency and I’m dealing with ptsd side effects again, I guess I’m just nervous about going day one on a med again.
Anyone have any positive stories about med changes? Thanks!
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ptsd
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I had a shitty week, I argued with my mother, my psychologist canceled my appointment, I got wet in the rain, my sister gave me a lecture I felt so miserable about all that shit, in the end, my psychologist scheduled me another appointment for Saturday, so it was so bad that now ***I will have medication*** and I don't know how to feel, I don't want to take drugs to feel good but if I don't I will continue to be shit with the people around me, it is annoying to think about it, my mood goes out of the pipe and not I know what to do, I know I have to improve, but at what cost? do I really have to continue with them?
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aspergers
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In the days following my EMDR session, I felt that new connections were made in my brain, positive connections that brought me back before the trauma. But since everything is never easy, it has awakened painful connections. I have never really had a flashback but rather intrusive memories that make me see the face or name of the attacker again with emotions that inevitably overwhelm me. The therapist told me that it was possible to completely extinguish the emotional load when I had thoughts of this trauma. He told me that it would be impossible to remove the memory of the event but one thing I wonder, if it is really possible to reduce the emotions of this trauma, it should come less to mind ?
Because it is rare that I live 5 minutes without it coming back.
Also am i the only one that feel that the hardest thing in PTSD is that you need to accept that you'll never be the person you've been before the trauma ?
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ptsd
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I’ve been working a soul sucking job for many years and want to change a career.
I’m working admin and customer service job at a shop and hate taking phone calls and taking to customers and also the menial repetitive admin stuff.
Please any advice, I don’t mind taking an evening course or something but can’t afford to go back to uni.
I like music, but am aware I can’t make money on it.
I want something that would make me feel fulfilled like charity work etc.
Any ideas at all would be helpful anyway.
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aspergers
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(15yo, F) I was diganose with ADHD right befor summer this year and have been diganose with Dyslexic from 9yo.
I was put in to special ed not to long ago becuese normal class's where to big, fast-pased for me, I did not get the help I need from the teachers and for some mental reasons
too.
Somedays ago one of my new teachers in the special ed class said to me " I dont understand why you are here, You seem so normal and fine to me." Teachers in my old class's would also say how I seemed fine and how my grades where not failing, even tho I know my grades could be much better if I just got the help and time I need. (Note that the teachers lessons I find very fun and intresting so I have a easy time focusing and working + being on Adderall)
I dont know how I feel about this or how I should feel. Im happy that I look "normal and fine" but at the same time Im not. I feel like no one really understands me. As if my struggles are not valid because they go unnotice by most others. But when I dont hide my struggles I get call lazy, annoying or just attention seeking.
I just wanted to rant/vent about this.
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ADHD
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I’m halfway through my calc and physics courses. My second exams are on Wednesday.
I’m having a hard time with doing and starting schoolwork.
I still have no idea what vectors are.
I know the content is hard and I think that alone overwhelms me too much too try? I also just don’t want to because who chooses hard math problems over pleasurable acts.
I’ve gone through all of academia by putting in just enough effort at the last minute to meet whatever marks that teacher has asked of me.
I am no longer outputting the effort and focus needed to meet the marks now being set for me.
I know my previous method is failing; I’m now lost.
It’s too much — these concepts need the hours put in to feel familiar and confident
I would like to be able to take bite sized pieces DAILY of material I’m asked to be adept at — but I can’t and haven’t.
I would like to put in more effort and TIME into school but when I ask — my body only produces what I’ve been getting.
It’s not that I’m not trying but that I need more. How do?
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ADHD
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I feel so overwhelmed and exhausted by life, it’s just really hard to keep going right now.
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depression
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For a long time ago, I noticed I've issues with using money and impulsivity. I know this is an issues for many with ADHD. I know my nephew with ADHD also have these issues. But yes I don't know how to explain it but I assume many of you know what I'm talking about.
So does anyone have any tips on how to manage these issues?
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ADHD
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Not to go into too much detail, I generally find middle eastern culture is overall friendlier, warmer, kinder and in every way, less horrible than British culture.
But let's just say middle eastern parents are also overly proud, are never happy with their children and have incredibly binary thinking and... Yeah, let's just say it's easier to achieve their disapproval than their approval. I've always preferred to stay at home with my family than to waste money paying rent to someone else, but I'm also quite glad that I am 24 and marriage is not too far away (I hope).
(it means I will move out...)
What's your experience with middle eastern culture and aspergers or autism?
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aspergers
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I don't know what keeps me afloat, the truth is that I still wonder why I haven't committed suicide or because my attempts have failed, I don't feel good about myself, I don't feel like I'm worth anything, I'm sure my family is disappointed of me and they don't really care. I don't know why I'm still here, nothing stops me or he cares to tell me to stop... Don't know, but who cares anyway...
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depression
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I have recently been to the doctor to talk about my troubles potentially stemming from ADHD, considering I tick all the boxes for an ADHD diagnosis and my mother and other siblings have also been diagnosed with the neurological disorder.
They reffered me on to a psychiatrist, however, they declined my request without seeing me. So, my doctor has referred me on to a psychologist instead which will take potentially 3 months before I can see them.
Since a psychologist can diagnose ADHD but can not prescribe medication, will they refer me on to a psychiatrist to treat the condition in order to receive a prescription for medication?
Also, in reading about diagnosing and medication, I found the neurologists can also diagnose and treat ADHD.
Why is it that I havent read on here about anyone seeking a Neurologist to diagnose and treat ADHD? Is it overwhelmingly expensive or something?
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ADHD
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After some journaling, I have ask myself; how can I heal in an environment like this? Where, no matter how hard you avoid it, brutality and violence and pain is a constant; where mass murders are committed almost daily that require us to constantly be on guard and looking for an escape route? When every single time we look at our phones, or tv, or go to any public place with the news running constantly showing nothing but terrible things? When real life is literally nightmare fuel and the injustice and pain and turmoil of the world is just fucking icing on my already fucked up cake.
I can’t go to the grocery without paying attention to the exit signs and making an alternate route to get out. I am constantly making a contingency plan in my head of what I’d do if shit went down at any moment.
My PTSD is already moderate but the society we live in amplifies it. I don’t feel safe in my mind and I don’t feel safe in the world.
It’s not as easy as just turning off the phone or tv. It’s everywhere. Plus, being informed and aware of major issues is important to me as a person so I don’t want to tune completely out.
Is healing possible in such a sick society?? :/
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ptsd
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So my marriage has been struggling due to feelings of emotional disconnectedness for several years. After a big fight we got into last weekend, I told my husband I would really just prefer to get a divorce. We’ve since decided we’re not going to go that route, we’re going to work it out.
He, of course, asked me why. I told him I’ve felt emotionally disconnected for years. I’ve begged him to talk to me, get counseling with me, etc for years. I was in a particularly vulnerable state, and I’ve been thinking about this guy that is one of the coaches for my son’s baseball team. Normally, a crush wouldn’t be a big deal, but since I was so vulnerable, I actually fantasized about running away with this guy or carrying on an affair. We’ve been practicing outside of regular practices with our sons because they’re both advanced for the teams they’re on, and we can practice more complex drills.
I also have this issue where if someone is nice to me, I automatically assume that they’re romantically interested in me, and then I start to think about how nice it is to be wanted, but then I usually get shattered when I realize they don’t like me (that was pre-marriage). I’ve never felt this way about someone WHILE I was married, which is scary. A couple days after we decided not to get divorced, I told my husband I had a crush on someone, but I really didn’t want to tell him who because we both have to deal with him regularly. He guessed, not because I act like I’m into him, but just based on the fact that I am attracted to really ethnic looking Latino men. Husband was damn near suicidal over it because he thinks I’ve been scheduling extra practices just to spend more time with the guy.
Truthfully, it’s not about spending time with him, it’s about nurturing my son’s natural ability. He’s 9 and he’s a utility player on his team. He can play any position, track any ball, he switch hits, and he’s left handed. He could have a REAL future in baseball because he LIVES it and LOVES it. This other dad was a star player for years and is a really fantastic influence for my son.
But I got my wires crossed - between my admiration for the guy’s skill, his dedication to his son, how damn nice he is, and how AMAZINGLY good looking he is. I developed a crush, but then the crush turned into intrusive, obsessive thoughts. I literally can’t get him out of my head even though I want to so badly. Normally, I obsess for a few days/weeks, but then talk myself out of it, but this is different, probably because of how vulnerable I was at the time.
The thoughts are persistent, and it is harming my marriage. I’ve tried to explain to my husband that it is literal, clinical OCD, but he doesn’t believe me and does not understand. He feels like I’ve already cheated, even though he logically knows that I haven’t. He has been borderline suicidal because he thinks I want to leave him for this guy, and I absolutely DO NOT.
I’ve never said anything inappropriate to this other man, and my husband always has a free pass to look through my messages if he’s feeling insecure. It’s always been about practice for the boys and he pretty much treats me like one of the guys, which I love. I’ve never really gotten along with women so I used to hang out with guys. I haven’t spent any time around other men during my marriage until this guy.
Like I said, the only way I know how to explain it is that my wires got crossed. He’s a family man. He just wants to help his son get better at playing ball, and he has tremendous respect for my son’s talent. He thinks he has a shot at going pro someday, and I think he wants to be a part of that. Who wouldn’t?
I obsessively want to text him and tell him everything, but I have not and will not. I keep it professional with him. I also love his girlfriend dearly. They’re not officially married, but I refer to her as his wife. She’s wonderful, and they have two beautiful children. I consider her a budding friendship with enormous potential, and I don’t want to screw that up either.
I don’t know how to get these thoughts to go away, and I would love some support or advice on the matter. I got the name of a good therapist, and I am going to schedule an appointment with her ASAP. I’ve known about my clinical OCD for a while. I also have intrusive thoughts from being raped as a young child, and those can be crippling from time to time as well, so it’s not just about this guy, but about my mental health as a whole.
Anyone else been in a similar pickle where you’re obsessing over a person? How did you kick it?
TLDR; I’m obsessing over a man that is not my husband, and have been fantasizing about running away with him. I will not act on it, but it’s harming my marriage. I want to stop obsessing over the other guy, and build my sexy, wonderful husband back up.
Any suggestions?
Edit - I need to clarify my husband’s feelings on the matter. When he says thinking about suicide, he told me specifically that he doesn’t actually want to commit suicide. But for the first time in his life he understands why people feel that way. Obviously, I caused this in the first thing that we addressed was how my husband feels about it. His mental health is priority number one since I’m not in any immediate danger.
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OCD
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I have my morning schedule deeply ingrained in my head, I do it on autodrive now.
I forgot it was July 4th, I forgot that businesses are closed today and nobody bothered to tell me, I wound up walking half a mile to work. Unable to open the door I just knocked and waited for 10 minutes, I ended up getting anxious and calling my mother to explain my plight to her and finally someone told me that there's no work today.
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aspergers
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Am I allowed to vent here? I feel like I should be allowed to. So background I have 2 roommates, an engaged couple (was roommates with the girl, other roommate moved out, her fiancé, let’s call him D, moved in since he practically lived there anyway).
So I come in Monday from running errands and bring in some fireworks with me. D takes one look at them and is like “ Oh ya, on the 4th my father and sister from halfway across the country are coming over and are going to be here for a week, hope you don’t mind!”
Gahhh!
I mean don’t get me wrong, if he wants to have family over that’s fine but we only have 1 bathroom in the house and I work full time plus, obviously my autism. This is going to mean that on top of having to socialize and act like a “normal” human being for 8 hours I have to come home and do the same thing the entire time I’m home unless I want to hide in my room all night! I just wish he hadn’t of waited until the last minute! I mean, your flying to the Pacific Northwest from the Southeast, this wasn’t spur of the moment! I feel like I have no time to mentally prepare myself, will have to spend the rest of my weekend holiday weekend and most of my work week doing things around their timing (bathroom time, kitchen time, etc) around their guests and not what I want to do and I can’t express my frustrations to D without sounding like a crazy person! 😤😤😤 end of rant
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aspergers
|
after almost 7 years of struggling with OCD (especially pure O, but other types as well), I’ve come up with some rules that have helped me and hopefully will help others, and I’d like to share them.
1) OCD will never look like OCD. Once you realize you were getting into another obsession it becomes obvious, but until that happens that awareness will probably be hard to achieve. Because of this, I use a “3 times rule”. If I’ve had the same distressful thought 3 times already, answered it more or less in the same way and it keeps coming back, I have to ponder if it’s a new obsession.
2) Don’t expect any moral or values from your OCD. It will always lie about things you wouldn’t. It will tell you that if you don’t think or do X thing, something horrible will happen (or you’ll have basically admitted to being a horrible person). That’s a lie. OCD lies. trust ERP, trust the process.
3) Thinking “this is an obsession” can become compulsive. CW: example of compulsion ————- saying “this is an obsession” instead of “I’ve washed my hands enough times” can become compulsive, just a different way of reassuring yourself you’re okay. Sit with the discomfort of not being sure until the anxiety withers away.
4) NOT KNOWING. UNCERTAINTY. SITTING AND ACCEPTING UNCERTAINTY. THAT FEELS AWFUL BUT IT’S THE BEST AT THE END.
5) Again, OCD never looks like OCD. It can target any, *any* subject. Apart from the 3 times rule, remind yourself that if a specific train of thought has been occupying ur mind lately and causing you great distress, analyze it and consider that it might be your OCD.
6) READ ABOUT RUMINATION. RUMINATION IS NOT EXPOSURE, IT IS A COMPULSION. For us with Pure O, knowing this is so so important.
7) OCD will distort your thoughts. It will take something small and water it until it grows into this paralyzing abomination that males you question everything about yourself and what you value. Always remember your OCD isn’t you, that intrusive thoughts aren’t your own. I try not to refer my phases with OCD to actual philosophical/existential crisis moments, bu rather as just “bad OCD phases”. Instead of “that time I had a problem with faith”, for example, I just think that was the time when my OCD targeted my religion. OCD thoughts don’t and will never define you.
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OCD
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Hi everyone... sorry for bothering. I don't know what's going on with me. I feel terribly depressed. I am living on my own and I've terribly overworked myself last semester. Not just overworked but somehow I managed to rid myself of all feeling of joy. It's not so bad anymore as I've found some other things that make me happy and keep me focused, however, every so often I get into a weird PTSD for several hours when I feel like there is no happiness in life, like nothing I do matters, I am restless, terribly restless. One time, before bed, I was feeling so shit that I ran out of my house in my pyjamas and ended up taking a 5-hour walk through the English countryside until early morning when I finally calmed down a bit.
I live on my own in a foreign country and I don't see with any friends because I am a first-year student and haven't made any that live nearby before we had to all go into lockdown.
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ptsd
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I have severe OCD. I’m on week two Prozac 10mg/day. I’ve found the past few days, my obsessive and intrusive thoughts have been worse than they ever have. Did anyone else find that this happened and did it get better after another couple of weeks?
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OCD
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I was raised by a very feminist woman who raised two children on her own. I still live at home together with my sister while we both study at uni. We don't argue a lot but when we do it's over food (specifically meat).
My mother believes that since me and my little sister are equal we should consume the same amount of food. I think I get 10% more or something but still. Keep in mind:
* I'm 22 year old man, I run 10km twice a week, I work out and I weigh almost 70kg and am 180cm tall. (150lbs and 5'10)
* My sister is 18, doesn't work out, literally barely moves, weighs 50kg and is 165cm tall. (110lbs and 5'5)
I'm literally hungry almost every night and I stand up at night to scarf down half a bread. Not kidding, I just eat plain leafs of bread or whatever I can find downstairs. I've told this to my mom and explained that If I'm still hungry I'll just eat anyway but in a less healthy manner but she doesn't budge.
I'm trying to work out and now it's becoming a bigger problem. Meat is the biggest issue. I really like it and want to eat more to work out but I barely get a baby portion.
Finally here's my ideas on how to solve it:
* Buy meat secretely and cook it at night like I'm working in a meth lab.
* Buy soylent or other proteïn drinks and just chug one of those a day.
PS: I'll aks what my daily meat allowance is because I can't remember it of the top of my head.
EDIT: My mom says I eat at least 200g of meat every evening meal and that I probably eat 250g a day. Keep in mind this is just a couple hamburgers every day, (Or 6 sausages, or 1 steak etc) I have no idea how it could be so much grams.
|
aspergers
|
I was in an uncomfortable position and my brain tried to have a ptsd attack. Instead I just shut down and sat in a ball. Not crying, unable to talk or move. I was depersonalized so bad. It was horrible.
Eventually I crawled into the bathroom but the fear I had from moving was so heartbreaking to feel. Now after it I can feel my depression trying to take over my brain.
I have a job interview in two days. Why can't my brain just straighten its self out.
|
ptsd
|
I got diagnosed with ptsd a while ago and the symptoms have gotten worse. I’ve tried many things and the things that used to bring me joy don’t anymore I can’t sleep, every night is the same flashbacks on end it’s never ending torture. I’ve recently started seeing and hearing things. I see him I hear her screams. Every night I see that farm. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t trust anyone I feel alone and empty. My gf says that I was put on this earth for a reason but I can’t see one. I’ve been thinking about going to my old therapist and asking for her thoughts on antidepressants my mom thinks it’s a idea but I’m not sure anymore. I haven’t been on this earth for long but it feels like I’ve been here for centuries and every single second is waking pain I figured I could try here to vent because anyone who sees this will never see me again no judgement no connection no hurt feelings. Anyway I hope everyone gets through what they are going through best of luck
|
ptsd
|
I don't have the energy to kill myself. I so desperately just want to pass in my sleep. why can't this be over? why is it all up to me? I'm so so tired, please give me some reprieve. let an airplane fly into my room while I sleep. there is no mercy in this world.
|
depression
|
I was doing well for a while. Got on Prozac, got officially diagnosed with PTSD. I lost 16 lbs, got into a good routine. Now I feel the lack of motivation, the anger, the anxiety sneaking back and my fitness journey is on pause, so is work, so is my progress. What are some things that help prevent you from getting back to your “bad place”?
|
ptsd
|
I used to be scrawny but am now overweight. Call it age catching up, beginning antidepressants for the first time and switching which ones like 4x, or just plain old bad habits.
I have also left behind the toxic religion I was born into. I am now separated from my wife. I ended up in the psychiatric hospital for a week because I was a lot more suicidal than normal.
Looking back I can't believe I made it to 25 before realizing I needed to get help. I always thought I am just less than everyone else and that is why I struggle so much to get by. I didn't even realize there were words for these things I struggled with, like anxiety, depression, sensory overload, or even autism. I heard other people use those words but never made the connection that the things I struggle with constantly are the same things other people talk about using those words. I am not sure what the disconnect was about, now it seems so obvious.
Some wtf things that I am trying to learn to let go that I have thought about through this whole process-
* Soooo many teachers told my parents some variation of: "he is so good, but I am worried because he never talks." Yet no one thought to send me to a therapist, or even a school counselor? I guess my parents were just glad I wasn't getting in trouble like a lot of my siblings (there are more than 10 of us...)
* When I was in high school my mom was dying, and my only sibling living at home saw the school counselor weekly, and I never was even presented with the option. (they went to the same high school, were assigned to the same counselor since it was by last name). You would think the counselor, once made aware that a student's parent was dying and meeting weekly because of it, would reach out to their brother? At least once to check in? They probably didn't know they had a brother at the school but seems like that shouldn't fall through the cracks. Or maybe because I was a good student they didn't think I needed help?
* Religious leaders told me that I have trouble communicating because I think about myself and not about others. I went on a 2 year religious mission which was hell. If only they could actually talk to god like they say they can, or at least to therapists to know maybe people that struggle could use some help not eternal guilt trips because of fundamental differences. I learned a foreign language and a love for a new country, but I feel like a part of me died that I have never recovered from that mission experience.
* Also. My old religion that pushed me into marriage and kids. Bad. I was dumb and obedient and married quick and had a kid quick (I never asked anyone out once, my wife asked me, as did 3 others before that over the years. The only second date I went have ever been on is with my wife). That started this whole thing where I have been one constant mental breakdown for the last few years. I just can't handle being a husband, father, and full time job. At least not without a whole lot of therapy and changes FIRST and even then it would be tough. I should definitely have resolved a lot of things before getting married or having a kid. I was dumb. At least seeing a therapist once before marriage might have been a good idea. But I was literally taught that marriage and kids was my purpose in life, and the only way to be happy. And that god would help me. And that who you marry isn't as important as them being righteous. Spoiler- no help came no matter how hard I tried. My "weaknesses" never turned into strengths.
* But here I am can't change the past. I love my child but how can I be a good dad if I am on the verge of a complete mental breakdown their whole life? I can at least provide what my parents never did for me, access to therapy and a lot of one on one time and love. But I fear I will never live up to the father that I feel that I should be.
* The neuropsychologist that I went to that I thought was doing an autism evaluation that dismissed the idea in the first 10 minutes and every question I asked they had an answer like "you said you felt anxious, that shows you have insight into yourself that indicates you don't have autism." "you wrote this organized 10 page paper (about reasons I thought I might have autism) that shows organization someone with autism wouldn't have." And other weird nonsense. Also they listed scores in my report for something called the purdue pegboard. I looked it up right after and it is literally a board. A board I had never seen before in my life, and am sure they didn't use with me.
* But the worst bit is I SPECIFICALLY went there asking "do you do autism evaluations for adults" and $900 and like 7 hours of my day later (plus months of waiting), THEY DIDN'T EVEN EVALUATE ME FOR AUTISM. I am still pissed. They wrote a 15 page report and didn't mention autism even once, when that is why I was there! They said in their report that I was there because I believe that I have "underlying neuropsychological defects". I promise you I never said that. I don't even know what that means, but it doesn't sound like Autism. What I did say is that I want an autism evaluation because I think it might explain my life. They kept saying "you're not a potato, you are really smart but anxiety makes it hard to function." I never said I am a potato, or that I think I have "neuropsychological defects". I said I want an autism evaluation. The more I think about it the angrier I get so I should stop there.
* I also had a psychiatrist, when I mentioned I was seeking autism evaluation, say- "Well you said you wish you knew how to make friends. So I don't think autism is likely. People with autism don't want friends and are fine just being alone" At least he had the decency to follow that up with "I am not an expert on autism though so go for it if you want" It is just surprising to me how many mental health professionals have convoluted views on autism. Like 30 minutes on google would do them some good I think, so they can at least not pass out false overgeneralized information.
* I think my child is autistic. We are meeting a specialist now and they think we should continue to pursue the idea based on everything so far. At the very least I am pretty sure that they are not neurotypical.
* Thanks to everyone on here for being supportive. When I met with the neuropsychologist I thought I was going crazy, because I was thinking I had autism but they were so sure I did not. You were all welcoming even when I posted from the angle of believing what that neuropsychologist said so I talked as is autism was not likely, since that is what I was trying to make myself believe since I didn't want to ignore the "expert" opinion and rely on my googling. Turns out my googling was right and I was not talking to an expert in autism. I am glad I finally found one.
|
aspergers
|
And I am more worried about arriving to school to collect them than actually seeing what I got.
|
aspergers
|
Like, I feel like I'm convincing myself that I am more traumatised than I am by thinking about it so often... Convincing myself that I need to avoid certain places that remind me of the event because they will trigger me. But what if it's all in my head? What if I wont actually get triggered by those places, I'd be totally fine, but I'm just talking myself into being triggered and so I am...? My mind is so messy and confused right now.
|
ptsd
|
My ex suffers from OCD (as well as depression $ anxiety). He’s been very open and communicative about his mental illness and I want to be there for him. However, every month, he would have these very angry episodes where he hyper focuses on these bad thoughts, which tend to be about me, and would lash out at me. He would call me very mean names and belittle me in every way possible. It was emotionally and mentally abusive. I felt like I was on eggshells the entire relationship. However after every argument, he apologizes and it seems very much sincere. He takes medication and goes to therapy weekly as well.
I broke up with him recently because I couldn’t stand the disrespect and the mistreatment when he would have an episode. He tells me this is all out of his control and he wishes he could stop hurting me. I know he struggles a lot with his mental illness and I never ever want to use his illness against him; It isn’t fair because he didn’t ask to have all these issues.
However, like I said before, I’m at my wits end with how angry and verbally abusive he gets towards me when he’s angry. I do miss him though and I’m having second thoughts on the breakup. I just want to know, is this something I should tolerate? I know becoming angry can be a result of his OCD but is this an extreme? Is this something he can overcome and change?
|
OCD
|
I tried to kill myself. I’ve been living with chronic pain for 15 years. My relationships have slowly fell apart because I’m not physically able to do what my friends are interested in. I lost my grandmother not long ago. The last person in my life who I felt truly loved me. My violin was stolen, and no one took my report seriously. My brother turned to ketamine and tried to kill me a month ago. My mother got angry with me and tried to defend him. I wanted deeply to die.
A life full of loss like this is hell. I felt my heart slow down and I was sinking into peaceful sleep when I suddenly felt I wanted more time. I got scared and went to the hospital. I feel like a coward and I don’t know what to do.
|
depression
|
This is mostly a vent and sorry for that.
It is not that hard not to yell at me. Yelling at me will not solve anything and it will trigger me PTSD.
I live with roommates because I am poor and one admits that she lacks self control (but god help her if she got therapy for that). She "emotionally responds before thinking" (which is either immaturity or you need therapy at 38).
And apparently that includes yelling at me when it's "just an emotional response."
I can't deal with it.
I am honestly thinking about breaking the lease, sucking up the cost, and just getting a studio in a shitty neighborhood. I can't deal with being yelled at.
|
ptsd
|
Hello adhd gang, I have recently been diagnosed with adhd and just started taking Dexedrine a few days ago. Despite only taking one pill in the morning at around 9-10am I haven’t been able to fall asleep until around 3-4 am which has been slightly frustrating. Have any of you encountered this problem when taking meds? Do any of you lovely people have any tips which might help me fall asleep at a reasonable time?
|
ADHD
|
**What is your Study**: The OCEAN Study: Comparing two online self-help programs for obsessions and compulsions
**Lead Researcher Name**: Emma Thompson
**Lead Researcher Credentials**: Clinical Psychology PhD Candidate
**Institution Name**: Monash University
**Advisor (For thesis level)**: Professor Leonardo Fontenelle
**Will this work be published?**: Yes, as a de-identified article in an academic journal
**Compensation:** Upon completion of the post-program survey participants receive a $10aud (or their country's equivalent) Amazon eGift card. After completion of the follow-up survey participants receive another eGift card.
**Method of study (In person, online)**: The study is completely online and done in your own time, and is available to all countries.
**Time required**:
* Program involves 4 online modules approx 20-50mins each, each module is made up of smaller 5-15 min exercises that can be completed at any time (within a 6 week period).
* We encourage practicing of learned skills between modules
* 3 surveys (45min each): at the start of the program, at the end of the program (after 6 weeks), and at follow-up (after 3 months).
**Link for participation**: [http://www.brainpark.com/projects/ocdselfhelp](http://www.brainpark.com/projects/ocdselfhelp)
**Email to contact for questions**: ocean.study@monash.edu
|
OCD
|
Not sure if this is the right sub reddit for this, but I just met someone on a game a few days ago, ended up talking for 4-5 hours about heavy shit. This turned into a friendship where we hung out the next couple of days(online) and I formed a really weird relationship with them which feels strong maybe due to the subjects we talked about the first time. Now I feel empty when not talking to them(could be because I haven't had a true friend for maybe 4-5 years). Now I'm feeling depressed and kind of down bad(they are of the opposite sex). Is this normal or am I a weirdo? (I'm trying not to come on strong because I like the friendship we have developed but am also kinda socially awkward due to a few years of isolation)
|
depression
|
Incarceration carries with you forever. It is a burden that never goes away. I will never get over it. The flashbacks will keep happening.
Incarcerated people can never fully integrate back into society.
|
ptsd
|
This might be really helpful for you guys
As far as NTs are concerned, how much you write something correlates to how much you care.
When you type a lot about some thing when others are only typing 1-2 sentences, you come off as angry and emotional. To us, or at least me, it’s better to elaborate so that I make sense than it is to say 2 contextless sentences with no evident thought process. This will make people think you’re taking it too seriously and are legitimately mad about it.
Ironically, in the corporate world, this rule is here as well, but it goes the opposite way. If you can say it in two sentences and do, it sounds like you don’t really care that much or are inept. It’s better to put in a bunch of fluff than get straight to the point because it shows you care? Or something.
Both of these rules are weird. Wouldn’t it be better in all contexts to write enough to make sense, but not so much that people stop paying attention because they’re bored?
This still explains so much.
|
aspergers
|
I hate that so much that I need so much more time for realizations. For things that others hear right away and it clicks for them right away. Like they hear it and it clicks for them even if they not gave to much attention for the informations. They still know it.
And there is me... A guy with ADHD (C). Always lagging behind in ordinary/everyday things (sometimes in things that I am actually good at, neurotypicals just out perform me in a short time. Because it clicks for them and they can do as they heard.
I am currently 2 days before one of my final exams...
Today at evening it came to my attention first...
My class mates and my teachers spoke about it many times. But it just did not click untill now...
|
ADHD
|
Last week I started my first ever real job, it's great considering I don't have any actual experience in this field. However, I can't help feeling like everything's become very repetitive.
Here's what a typical day looks like:
• wake up: usually 6 or 6:30 am
• eat (if there's time & I feel like it)
• shower (every morning)
• commute to work ( approx. 1h)
• work between 9am & 4pm
• commute back home (approx. 1h)
• cook dinner, eat & do dishes (approx. 3h)
• shower again
• sleep for 6h or less..
• Repeat.
I'm getting slightly tired of this, it's probably just going to get worse when I start working for 8 full hours as of right now I'm in training for three more days. Meaning I'm beginning to work full time next week.
It all just feels so repetitive, meaningless and boring I rarely have time to myself and if I happen to have any time over I feel guilty because "I should probably be doing something more productive" Please tell me this gets better as I get used to all this.. How do you guys manage work & personal life? Do you have any time over for hobbies whatsoever?
|
ADHD
|
(As you'll read I'm new to autism and this community, I apologize in advance if I don't say something quite right or inadvertently cause offense)
I've been in therapy for 10 years working with three different therapists during that span of time. I switched to my most recent therapist about 18 months ago, 9 months after we started meeting he recommended that I get tested for autism.
In Oct. 2020, just before turning 47, I went through the process of being diagnosed and discovered that I have ASD. Overall my autism presents itself mildly, the psychiatrist explained that prior to the most recent changes in the DSM she would have diagnosed me with Aspergers. (I scored in the severe range for lack of empathy and being inflexible)
So it took about six months for me to work my way through the grieving process of coming to terms with the diagnosis. I'm firmly in acceptance now and am ready to figure out how to best manage my autism and get a handle on how it presents itself.
When I think about my autism I'm fascinated by the things I don't see, it still blows my mind that I essentially have no natural empathy for myself or others. If I display empathy it's a very mechanical process. What else am I missing, what am I not seeing?
I've been working on this post for a very long time, I keep writing and deleting. I guess what I'm looking for is advice about how to best navigate all of the information that is out there. I've watched some TED Talks and bought a book ("An Adult with an Autism Diagnosis" by Gillian Drew) So much of what's out there is obfuscated by agendas (personal and political), or it's focused on children with autism and their parents.
I want to be informed, I want to stop masking, I want to feel comfortable in my own skin and have a positive impact on the people in my life. I want to focus my autodidact powers inward and figure myself out.
I'm most interested in:
* YouTube Channels
* Audiobooks (I have dyslexia as well, got that diagnosis about five years ago)
* Organizations (local or national, I'm in central Iowa)
* Podcasts
* Other Reddit groups focused on adults with autism
* Any other recommendations
|
aspergers
|
Hey everybody I have overcome my POCD but there are still two questions that I have.
So the first question, do you think a p3do could be attracted to booth adults and children? Can he/she have equally strong attraction to booth? I always thought that p3dos are only attracted to children but yesterday I read an article about p3dophilia and there was a sexual therapist who gave answers to questions and he said that p3dos can be attracted to booth, people in there age and children.
And the second question is do you think someone can become a p3do even if you where not born with this? I mean yes sexuality can change but as I understood it it goes from straight to gay or from gay to bi but not from straight/gay/bi too p3do? However I found articles by others that say that there is a chance you can become one.
Thanks for the reading.
|
OCD
|
I know there is a rule against posts seeking medical advice, so I'll try to make this more of a discussion post, but just to start off with some context:
I've recently been struggling with compulsions around Contamination OCD and handwashing (sessions lasting numerous hours), which have been extremely debilitating. In retrospect, I think I've had some level of this for a while, but it's only within the past year or less that it's been this bad, which as I understand it, is unusual to develop at my age (28).
I started seeing a psychiatrist about 2 months ago, and she prescribed both an SSRI (Prozac) and an atypical antipsychotic (Geodon). I started the Prozac about 6 weeks ago and have been at the full dosage for 4, but I'm not really sure if it's had any noticeable effect. My neurologist is also having me switch to a new anticonvulsant, as the old one has been known to have mood-related side effects. That's still in progress, so I don't know yet if that will yield results.
On the behavioral side, I started seeing a therapist around 6 weeks ago, but she isn't an OCD specialist, so I don't feel like that's been super productive. I've since found some OCD specialists that I want to try to get started with for more structured therapy. We've also looked into intensive programs, although with Covid anxiety and my current lack of functioning, I'm not sure how I would manage to attend in-person treatment.
I give all of that background to say that my psychiatrist, other doctors and parents have been lobbying hard for me to take the Geodon. They think that I'm at a level where behavioral therapy alone can't fix the problem. I'm very reluctant to do this though, as atypical antipsychotics are very powerful drugs with lots of potential side effects (some of which I've heard can be permanent). I also don't feel like we've really exhausted all other options yet. After doing some research online, it seems like the use of atypical antipsychotics as part of OCD treatment is not unheard of (they're even included in the medication list page of this sub's Wiki). But it seems like it's more as a last resort when everything else has failed.
**tl;dr** So, I wanted to get all of your experiences and thoughts on this approach. Have you done it? Did it help you? Did you experience any side effects? Which medication did you use? At what point did you realize it was necessary?
|
OCD
|
Though this especially applies to this sub, when we mock Elon Musk in exactly the same way some ill intentioned people mock us
|
aspergers
|
I can't think but at the same time I think too much it's like my brains empty but full at the same time and it gets harder to think when in frustrated is this a adhd thing (I'm diagnosed)
so apparently this post has to be 300 letters long or something so I guess I'll just type lots of random stuff idk sorry in advance hows everyone going good? I hope your going good and I hope everyone's happy and if your not I hope you find your happy anywayyy im hoping this is enough letters long but who knows anyway love you all <3
|
ADHD
|
Do most people with ocd have just one form of ocd? Because I am a basket case when it comes to ocd. I have multiple ranging from horrible intrusive thoughts to counting compulsions. Im just trying to make sense of it as some Reddit forums have people talking that they have just harm ocd. Also does anyone else have a problem with people walking up the stairs behind them? Because my friends make fun of me for it so I want to know if anyone else deals with that specific anxiety also.
|
OCD
|
From time to time I get triggered and/or put on edge for a while and it makes me feel sick to my stomach, sometimes vomiting, I'm unable to sleep well and usually have nightmares or wake up every half hour and get these static like headaches? I don't know how else to describe it. It gets so bad I've had to miss classes and today I called in sick at work. It's been really hard to function during the day, walking around and doing simple things I'll feel invisible pains and paranoia. Is there anything that helps you guys?... I try to play soothing music, read, talk to people about anything... But I haven't had something make it stop for the entire day. I always feel like I'm just putting it off.
|
ptsd
|
I’ve been off and on it for the past year and haven’t gone past a 5mg IR dose. Even with the lowest 5mg dose I still feel shaky and like I’m going 1000mph, which is why I don’t take it too often. Only when I really need to do something with a deadline or if I haven’t been productive for a while. Aka I only take it when I’ve let everything build up for a couple days and need a day to complete everything.
I kind of want to try another med but my psych has been saying to stick with adderall for now. I experience all the side effects on 5mg too, which sucks. It’s not like I can go any lower.
I tried 20mg once on accident and it was a complete disaster. I was shaking, hyperventilating, my whole body went numb, anxiety through the roof, etc.
Is anyone else very sensitive like this? I want to try something smoother but my psych said the only other option would be ritalin which is a stimulant as well so idk… it’s just frustrating bc I’m scared another med won’t work as well as adderall :(
|
ADHD
|
I've been doing some research on wearables that might help with ptsd but other than a couple of very vague devices that didn't have user written reviews (or at least, not from people with ptsd) I thought I should try asking here :)
Have you tried any? Can you recommend any of them?
|
ptsd
|
Hi, I am trying to make a couple friends (would settle for one). I've tried to make friends with NT folks, but I always wind up showing people the real me and scaring them off (even though I say up front, "I have Aspergers") and have been hurt (badly) one too many times.
I have checked MeetUp and on Facebook, there aren't any groups for Autism or Aspergers folks. I live in the Winchester, Virginia area (it's approximately 150,000 people within 25 miles, so it's safe for me to say this) and the closest groups are near DC (about 70 miles to my east). I don't drive (big surprise), so I can't get there.
Of the people I talk to online, I find it easier to talk to people with Aspergers and Autism than NTs. They just understand me more. So, if I could find a friend with Aspergers, that would be really cool. :)
Just throwing this out there, but not getting my hopes up. Thanks.
|
aspergers
|
It's funny, how do you explain to people that you're angry about something so simple without sounding insane?
I was having a rough day already on Thursday, I've been talking about buying a full size Christmas tree, apparently my mom and sister got together and bought one for me.
After half a dozen text messages from my mom telling me she had a gift and wanted to drop it by I turned off my phone. A few hours later there was a knock on my door, I didn't answer but the tree was left on my porch. It's been out there for two days and I don't want to touch it.
I'm absolutely furious for my mother right now not only for the barrage of phone calls but for coming over uninvited. I need a lot of preparation in order to socialize with people and this really feels like it crossed the boundary. someone leaving your a gift on my porch isn't a bad thing but I'm absolutely furious over it.
What could have been a nice gift has turned into something I don't even want to go near because of the anger and guilt I'm feeling right now.
What do I do about this? do I take the gift and try to let it go, do I let my mom know I crossed a boundary and deal with the guilt there?
I know it's the PTSD making me feel this way but this whole situation is just completely stressed me out.
|
ptsd
|
**disclaimer: I’m not bothered by this, I just think it’s a funny thing my brain does**
every now and then I’ll have an intrusive thought that’s extra intrusive, then start mentally checking whether or not it “sticks” in my brain… because surely, if I really had OCD, that thought would be something I get distressed by, ruminate over, and have to try and deal with. right? /s
yeah buddy that’s mental compulsions and obsessive thinking—just about how intrusive the thought was instead of about the thought itself. congratulations you still have OCD 👍
|
OCD
|
Been depressed for a few years now. It's getting worse since the pandemic. I think I'll go crazy from loneliness. I am 20 and haven't been to offline college in a long time. I am ready to put in the work again if it means I will cry less and be happy, even if for a bit.
Any hobbies, activities, routines that help you cope are all welcome. I have hit rock bottom. I am trying my best to put in that hard work now, get uncomfortable if it means I can be happier. I can't die like this even if I want to. Please, please help me.
As for professional help, it's taboo in my country and a bit hard to access. It could be anything. I'll give it a shot. Just help me, please.
|
depression
|
For example, trying to call to preorder fries at our snackbar.
Thoughts:
"What if I will sound weird?"
"What if I cannot speak what's in my mind properly? "
"I don't like contact with strangers, can't my parents call? ".
And also just the feeling of not knowing how the other will respond because he is a stranger.
Asking a question to a teacher:
"I shouldn't ask, it might take too long for him to explain. " (If I have a question, it is asking for a detailed explanation, but the lesson also has to go on)
Asking some students for advice in WhatsApp group:
"They might look down on me for asking. "
"It might be too long for them to read"
At software development internship:
"He seems really busy, I can't ask things"
"What if I can't finish the project? "
"How will school react if I don't come far/don't adhere to their requirements in these 20 weeks? Will I have to do all of them again? "
"I don't want to work, go home, have no energy to do things and then go to work the next morning again" (And after this thought I throw my energy away by watching series at night)
"I don't want to work 40 hours a week, even though college want me to"
At school in general:
"Learning in semesters does not help me in longterm learning" (Which is somewhat true for me, but if I keep thinking about it, it does not help)
"I cannot fail a test/asigment the first chance because learning a resit interferes with other subjects " (And then instead of keeping calm like I want, I learn the subject too much)
Others:
"What is the point of living if all we do is work? " - >depressed (I keep thinking this)
"I don't smell myself, so I can shower later"
"I don't like the transistion from warm to really cold when stepping out of the shower"
(Keep procrastinating shower, often skip it)
"My appearance does not matter" (skips barber, procrastinate nailcutting. I do think it is true what I say, in the fact that people shouldn't care about it. But the problem is that they do. )
"I don't want to sleep yet"
"One more episode"
There are a lot of situations like this, where I would just want to turn off my brain and do what I wanted to do/do what needs to be done. However, as you see, my mind blocks these things by spamming thoughts.
I think it is a defence mechanism to handle change and stay in control, to stay in a comfort zone and never get out. Also, a mechanism to avoid anything that does not feel good.
The problem is that it hinders me in my whole life. I just want to communicate normally without fear, I just want to do the things others can do effortless and I want to grow. With a brain like this however, it seems I cannot move forward like this. Any help, advice or similar experiences?
|
aspergers
|
Got physically abused by my husband and left him. Two months later got a job at a school only for them to put me in a Special Ed classroom with physically abusive kids. They are aggressive towards me and the other teachers every day. It causes flash backs, anxiety, and states of depression but I can't afford to quit. What do I DO?!
|
ptsd
|
I'm feeling pretty drained lately from my obsessions and since plain searching the internet hasn't come up with anything I'm turning to Reddit for help.
I have a strange type of OCD that I haven't really seen anybody else mention. This revolves around needing my things to be "perfect". Scratches, dings, dents on anything, even pots and pans, result in me having to get rid of it and get a new one. If I don't do this, I obsess about it until I get it done.
I also have some obsession over washing and doing the dishes and washing my hands takes way longer than it should. It's mainly the rinsing part that seems to take forever, because I have to continue until it feels clean in my head, even though I know it's already perfectly clean I'm afraid that any microscopic soap residue might still linger.
Does anyone else out there feel this way at all?
|
OCD
|
I have a question: Can OCD be based on wondering about things? Lime I wonder what even is life and reality, are things/life real, and what is the purpose. Is this normal, or is wondering/questioning reality more psychosis like symptoms?
|
OCD
|
Ever since the trauma happened, I’ve been having problems with my anger. There are moments where I imagine people that I disagree with spew the most hateful, vile things towards me and I get very defensive because of it, and it gets to the point where I lash out at myself and things around me. The best thing I do to cope with it is to breathe when it happens but sometimes that doesn’t work. It makes me a hateful and bitter person when I’m in that mood and I just absolutely hate it. I know I’m not that way but something tells me that I am. Does anyone know how to handle it better?
|
ptsd
|
What is a proper amount of participation for r/aspergers?
I tend to enter new situations with the subtlety of a puppy entering a room full of peanut butter covered kitties, with comparable results.
I’ve worn out my welcome in unrelated groups and now I’ve discovered a magical land where everyone is nice to me.
What about posting responses to other people’s threads? What is too much?
Does anyone have self-rules or schedules that they follow to regulate instead of oversaturate?
|
aspergers
|
Ik this season of the year is really rough for a lot of people especially fellow queers like me; but this used to be my favorite time of year. Every year, even last year, I'd look forward to the traditions and celebrations of this week and particularly Christmas eve and Day. Not this year. Im so sad. I've pushed all my friends away and now they won't talk to me, and they shouldn't. I've been awful to them. I don't even know why. They're great and I love them. Years of fighting with my family has burned bridges permanently and now we only communicate on the most basic of levels. I talk to my coworkers with more humor and emotion then my family. Several months ago I went through a breakup, and it was a mutual decision because we couldn't work thin%s out to feel loved by each other, but tbh even though I've hid it, I still am really really in love with them. I hate myself for not trying harder because they've moved completely on from me and im still struggling to do the same. Honestly im walking the edge. Ill either start abusing again and cutting, or even commit the self delete. Idk im so lost. My favorite things in life have no value anymore. I just simply don't care. Its incredible how numb I am rn. The numbest in my life, and I've attempted several times before. Idk idfk anymore whats the point seriously why why why
|
depression
|
I saw it on Instagram and decided to download. It seems like a therapy from OCD specific therapists but I’m curious if this has helped anyone and if their charges are through the roof (I don’t have much insurance)
|
OCD
|
I’ve gotten to the point where I’m able to resist some of my ocd compulsions but the anxiety that I get from it can be really bad. I’ll even start to sweat or breathe harder because of how anxious me not doing the compulsion is making me feel. I just want to get back to my normal self, I know I have the strength to overcome these urges but my brain doesn’t like what I’m doing, will this ever go away?
|
OCD
|
Yesterday, my advisor mentioned that I show symptoms of OCD. Obviously this isn't what I want to hear, but given how destructive undiagnosed ASD and ADHD was for me, I feel I ought to pursue this.
I already have a veritable pile of labels, literally none of which have done me any good. Would an OCD diagnosis give professionals anything useful to work with, in helping me? I'm completely avoiding medication, assuming OCD diagnosis grants access to this, because I would absolutely become addicted.
|
aspergers
|
I have a wonderful girlfriend and I am so thankful for them. But gosh, I feel like I have such trouble talking to people my age.
I have friends, and they’re good people. Sometimes though, I feel like I’m not good enough. I’m often quiet, not knowing what to say sometimes for conversation and when I do talk about the things I like I get this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that they aren’t interested in what I have to say, which probably isn’t the case at all, but social anxiety be like that.
It’s hard not to wish I was an NT. Maybe then I’d have a little easier time deciphering social situations and not over think every little detail.
Thanks to whoever responds, this is more of a vent post anyway lol but I’d love to talk to others about this.
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aspergers
|
At heart I’m “yass queen” and love some very traditional queer things such as I basically snuck at watched rupual drag race since I was 10
On the outside I’m 6’2 black and have locs. My locs allow to to express myself you can say.
But I’m highly afraid to come off guy so I don’t really express myself Not my true interest
|
depression
|
OCD behavior / this is going sound silly but I wanted to eat a protein bar (they’re more calories than normal protein bar) but I couldn’t decide which flavor, for some reason I wanted one of each (3). Normally, this shouldn’t be a problem because if I have one of each/more calories than normal on occasion, nothing bad will happen and its not a big deal. But, my OCD only allows me to do things that I will always be able to do or always have access to. So, I couldn’t eat all three because if I did that everyday forever, I would likely gain too much weight. Here’s where I’m stuck- I want to be a good intuitive eater and follow my intuition that in that moment, I wanted all three and not because I felt that hungry, they just sounded good, but I couldn’t let myself do that everyday. I logically know that I wouldn’t truly WANT to do that everyday but it’s just allowing myself.
|
OCD
|
My therapist will ask me how I am doing at the beginning of our appointment. I can get a few words in before she starts talking about herself. It has become very annoying. I don’t have anyone to talk to, I am all alone and maybe I just want to get some things off my chest. I want to explain how I’ve been feeling, not listen to you talk about your week. Isn’t the point of me going so we can talk about me? So sad and frustrated. I really need to talk to someone and my therapy session is supposed to be my time
Edit: I want to thank everyone for your input! I will be listening to everyone advice and speaking to someone higher up and getting a new therapist! It has been very hard on me since I have no friends and only work with kids so I have very little adult conversation during the day. Sometimes I just need to speak to an adult and get my mind right. Thank you!!
|
ADHD
|
Is it true that I am more likely to be in contact with the police and more likely to go to jail or prison if I sometimes behave abnormally? I am asking this, because I have Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD and Bipolar Disorder.
I am afraid if I do something bizarre, because if some of symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD and Bipolar Disorder if I am outside on my own, the police might be called and I might go to jail or prison if there was a misunderstanding, because my social skills are not that good.
I am sometimes afraid to go outside on my own, because my behaviors are sometimes bizarre.
|
aspergers
|
I don't know if anyone else here can relate (I'm sure Several can) but ADHD and anxiety (GAD) can really create a vicious circle.
I was medicated for anxiety with Zoloft for 5 years which I think in retrospect did help me for anxiety keep things under control. Did nothing for my ADHD, but my anxiety and associated depression was mostly in check. I came off zoloft after 5 years this spring, and by the summer started spiraling down again.
Now I just have a constant pit in my stomach and cloud overhead and a constant sense of being overwhelmed. I've been successful in my career and job despite ADHD because I am smart (the company had to make all sorts of accommodations for me because I couldn't comply with the administrative requirements properly and on time like everyone else, but clients LOVED me). Now with anxiety and my seniority, the combination of not being able to actually focus and get work done and the anxiety that I can't do this work and can't ever get it done are spiralling me out of control. I have high pressure projects and it's all on my shoulders and I feel like the house of cards is kind of crumbling.
I had a bit of a similar breakdown 5 years ago and I managed to take a whole year off work and get back to me. And I honestly needed that WHOLE year to recover I feel. I'm worried I'm there again. This time I have a mortgage and financial commitments and feel trapped. I can't sell the house due to a family commitment. And I have no partner to lean on for support.
I'm going back on Zoloft but I'm only starting my second week. I don't know if this is going to solve it or when it will help enough. I took three weeks off this summer and slept the entire time barely able to leave the bed. That helped slightly but not enough. I haven't been able to work much, and I've been spending a lot of time sleeping and in bed. Depression and anxiety just taking over.
I am the client lead and only one qualified to lead these new contracts I'm starting. It's almost impossible for my company to back out now without repercussions and these are massive career opportunities for me. But I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can keep going. Every day I try and hope that tomorrow will be better.
I feel so trapped and suffocated and can't even focus to work to help myself improve the situation.
Even while I was on the Zoloft though I was getting tired of my career and not sure how much I could keep doing. I can't even trust my own brain and thoughts right now to know what to do and just trying to make it through. I shouldn't be depressed or anxious, I am in a life position many would be envious of (I'm financially fine for my age, def can't afford to retire or anything, but very "on track" for life financially).
There's my word vomit.
|
ADHD
|
Since 3 years ago, I have always been thinking and relieving my own tramautic experience over and over again, till the point that I think it is becoming a part of me and that it is normal to think and feel this way.
Edit: I honestly have no idea if this is going to make it worse.
|
ptsd
|
It’s not exactly easy to avoid hearing/thinking about Covid and while I only get full blown panic some of the time, I can’t help but feel like there’s a good chance that constantly being surrounded with it is giving me even worse brain damage lol …….
|
ptsd
|
Everyday is a disappointment socially.
Everyday is disappointment.
|
aspergers
|
For 2-3 years now I've had periodic extreme hyperfixations. I will work on something for 80 hours a week and discard everything else in my life. It feels completely uncontrollable and is seriously harming my life. The hyperfixations generally last 2-3 months, then I'll have a period of 2-6 months without one before a new one appears. When I get out of the hyperfixation, my memory of the last couple months is blurry and it almost feels like I was very dissociated the last 2-3 months.
Does anyone have any advice on getting these under control or similar experiences to share? Also, what can I tell my psychiatrist to help them help me with this? They aren't an ADHD specialist, and I'm not even sure this is an entirely ADHD thing-- I have multiple comorbidities, including suspected bipolar 2 and ptsd. What medication class could help with this? I'm already on stimulants and if anything, they make the hyperfixations worse.
|
ADHD
|
So I finally got diagnosed and saw a Dr to be prescribed medication. I was prescribed wellbutrin 100mg. I don't understand why I was prescribed something that treats anxiety and depression when I didn't need treatment for those things. I only needed to treat my adhd. Does anyone else have experience with wellbutrin and did it help your adhd symptoms?
|
ADHD
|
Hi. I'm 18, a young woman, a senior in high school. Not even a week before the pandemic, I was almost kidnapped. I'm having a really really tough time readjusting to a school environment. I'm experiencing really awful paranoia (feeling like someone is about to k\*ll me I'm trying to focus in class), and I'm having a hard time trusting people enough to make connections. I have lovely friends online, but I'm so lonely and scared at school. It's starting to impact my academic performance, which is disturbing because I've always been an excellent student. To people who have gone back to school after a traumatic event such as this, how did you readjust? I'd really appreciate any advice you can give. Thank you for your time, and may our brains be kind to us all <3
|
ptsd
|
I feel like quitting my meds because they are bullshit and dont do anything but make me dizzy when I forget to take them. Been taking them everyday for 13 months and I feel like they are just a source of false hope
|
depression
|
Hey. I'm a 25 yo guy who have been suffering from OCD from 21 yo and it got worse and worse. But the most disturbing subtype is harm OCD for me.
I always pass with fear on street near every person because I am afraid of losing control and after I pass I wonder if I beat them, stole them things or even killing then and then as a compulsion turning around and looking if those people are alive.
I am a criminal for sure. I feel so worried and wonder if someday will come police to my door and arrest me.
|
OCD
|
I’ve been back on my ADHD meds for about 7-8 months now, and I’ve been back in therapy the same amount. I’ve noticed that as my body has adjusted to all my medications that my sensory issues have gotten worse.
If a grocery store is too crowded I begin to panic. Lights suddenly too bright, sounds are like roaring in my ears. I have to clench and unclench my hands and stretch my fingers out and pace to help burn away the over-stimulation anxiety. Auditory processing issues have increased, food sensitivity has increased, other weird sensory issues I have (like my skin touching itself, hyperaware of my bodily functions etc) have also worsened.
Anyone else experience this?
Side note: i also have separate diagnoses that are GAD and CPTSD.
|
ADHD
|
My intrusive thoughts are unfortunately incest thoughts. This is really hard for me to type, I am crying my eyes out as I type this. So please Bare with me. For a while now, I’ve been distancing myself from my dad, more hostile towards him, barely talking to him. I’ve had terrible intrusive thoughts that have included him. My father is a good man and been nothing but good to me so I don’t understand why this is happening to me. But it is disgusting and it’s really breaking my relationship with him. Just everything he does starts to disgust me. If he makes a weird sound I will be so upset at him. The littlest things, even if he stands super close to me, I get upset and get away with him. This is so hard for me. I love my dad, I swear I do. It’s just I can’t take these thoughts. They don’t happen everyday but when they do they hit in hard waves and I can’t control them. Even just looking at my dad...is starting to change. I just want help. I’m only 19 I can’t do this anymore
|
OCD
|
I'm a freelancer translator and I feel like that's the one thing I'm really good at, I have great clients, I work for famous brands and, if I get to focus, I can make a good money out of it. But when it comes to the actual working part, it's such a burden. I can't sit in front of a screen for more than 4 hours a day (total) and focus on those repetitive words and tasks. I mean, 4 hours in a good day. Right now I have a 9k-word review to finish until the morning and I've barely finished 25% of it. I just procrastinated the entire day and now I'll probably have to work overnight to get it done. I've been doing this for 3 years straight now with some short breaks on holidays, thus I'm not sure whether I'm just burnout or if I'm starting to hate the only job I know how to do well. Any tips? :(
Ps: I'm on Ritalin (went from 20 to 30mg) for 20 days now and I feel like it gives me so much mental energy that I just can't spend it in front of a dull screen full of marketing terms. I wanna do *pleasant* stuff, if that makes any sense.
P. S.2: vacations are off the table right now -- if I don't work, I don't make money, and I just moved in to a new place so I have debts to pay
|
ADHD
|
I had almost two months in a row of almost a normal routine where my method to feel good was to focus on the details of the image and fill my thoughts with details, even while watching a movie for example or a video game I try to focus on the things I do, the details in the game, the scenarios and every single (or almost) texture I see I quickly analyze depending on how I feel. (If i feel good i analize It in a few seconds if i feel Bad a minute for a single image)
I quickly say to myself in my mind for example: here's a square with a rhombus in it, etc.
I've noticed that when I'm feeling good I immediately think of the words of each shape (square rhombus etc...) while when I'm feeling bad (maybe I've just come out of a panic attack or I'm about to have one) I think of shapes that are similar but not precise or maybe names of objects that resemble or dialect names of the same
The biggest trigger that makes me sick and now I've been relapsing for 2 days is the usual. But is it an ocd thing? Did I do this before when I didn't have this disorder? Of logic yes and no. The thing is it's not like I have to do it perfectly and I don't. I focus in general on the details. It's the question that makes me sick, not the details themselves, because when I do it I gradually acquire more speed in analyzing the world around me and I am faster in everything, even in the most basic reasoning.
I would like to hear your experiences if you have any in this particular case/ocd
|
OCD
|
I’m 21 I’ve been depressed since I was 13/14. 8 years later I still feel the same and more. I’m getting so tired of this, it never seems to improve. I’ll be happy for like a week 2 at most and then just go back to being depressed. Just want to be happy…
|
depression
|
I start by saying that I really dislike self diagnosing but after some research I found that quite a lot of OCD symptoms apply to me, especially when it comes to uncomfortable intrusive thoughts. I was wondering if it's worth the time and energy to try and get a test for it since it sounds like a really stressful thing to do.
My "symptoms" are mostly intrusive thoughts about skinning or gutting myself or ripping my eyes/ribs out that can only be calmed down if I run around my house until it feels "correct", if I am not able to do that I'll get a panic attack and feel the need to self harm or start walking obsessively on the same circular path.
I can't sleep in rooms where the door is completely open or completely closed and the windows are open because I'm scared of the consequences.
I need to bathe at least every 2 days and I need to be sure my hair is perfectly clean, I'm not particularly scared of germs but I often fixate over imaginary genetic illnesses or possible pregnancies even if I never had sex before.
I always need to make sure my freezer is closed or messages I wrote had really been sent and I constantly feel like I am forgetting something even though I did everything I needed to. At times I start wondering if I am doing things correctly even in action I've been doing for my whole life and is practically impossible to do wrong.
I don't fixate much on numbers or order even though I feel the need to keep specific objects in a logical order and I will get really upset if someone tries to change it.
I tend to collect small things like seaglass or small pieces of fabric that I know I don't need because "they might be useful in the future."
That's pretty much everything, thanks for your help in advance and sorry for my bad English.
|
OCD
|
I’m so fucking depressed and don’t see a way out. I’m so miserable and worthless and everything has become so bitter. I just cut myself but I even failed at that. I wish I could cut deeper.
|
depression
|
Whenever I'm stressed, I just think I'm going to immediately kill myself. But it's not like a scary thing, it's a relieving thing. I try to explain it to people (therapists counselors etc) by saying it's like looking toward the emergency exit on a bus you don't want to be on and fantasying about jumping through it.
I'm not depressed! It's been a few years since I was depressed, and what happened was I did become suicidal and I felt this crazy, magical experience of utter peace and calm and freedom because I had decided literally nothing mattered, I was going to die, that homework was never getting done, it doesn't matter. I didn't kill myself of course, but ever since then, even since not being depressed, I think about killing myself probably once or twice per minute and have ever since that experience.
I try to read resources online and things like that, but all of it is centered on people who are scared of death and having obsessions that they're going to kill themselves. But for me, it's not that I *want* to kill myself, but I don't know... I guess I want to be back in that place and time where there was no stress and no future to care about. I'm still surprised now that I am alive. I hate how there's very little resources for suicide attempt survivors. I, on purpose, didn't tell anyone beforehand, and wanted to make it so if I failed I could just keep on going. I did fail, so I even went to school the very next day, told no one. I'm happy now, I have friends, girlfriend, accepted into uni, life on track, all that, nothing is bad, but I just still think "I'm going to kill myself." every time a youtube video buffers or I drop a cracker on the floor or I get a homework assignment or nick myself shaving, or do literally anything. It's basically my "I don't care about that." Instead of having any stress response, I just go "Doesn't matter, because I'm going to commit suicide."
​
It only starts to worry me because it's turned into a sort of auto-blackmail situation. I don't want to face anything stressful because my brain just chants "I'm going to kill myself" as comfort. I'm always worried that one day I'm going to say it out loud and freak people out and get myself in trouble, ruin my life. And I don't like to talk about it with counselors and therapists for the same reason, I don't want them to misunderstand and get me in trouble by thinking I'm actually suicidal. But it's hard because the repeating, comforting thought "I'm going to kill myself" is basically my response to everything. When they ask why I didn't do something, I don't know what to say, because the truth is I didn't do it because if I tried I would have screamed I was going to kill myself. And of course that sounds like suicidality...
I have actually explained all this stuff above to my therapist type people, but it seems like all of them want to steer me away from talk like that, after they make sure I'm not actually suicidal. One of them was pretty upfront that if I kept mentioning it, it wouldn't matter that I told him I wasn't actually suicidal, if I kept saying that I think about killing myself he would have to report it as a suicidal student.
Dunno. Just ranting. Feel like no one gets it, and I don't know what to do about it.
|
OCD
|
Today my mother's break crying. She just said she doesn't want to live anymore. I guess this is my cue to definitely kill myself. I know I'm part of her problems, and at least I can't stop those, as I prove myself useless about all the others.
I didn't even dare to look her in the face. I'm just done. This is not fair. She didn't deserve this. And I know who to blame.
|
depression
|
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