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This is my first time on this subreddit and oh boy do I need it. I'm 19 \[M\] and i've been suffering from PTSD for the last 3 years, 2 and a half of those years which it went undiagnosed. In the last 3 years of school I experienced really severe bullying which involved daily humiliation from a large proportion of my peers. The abuse was endless day after day & I attempted suicide multiple times which they even had a laugh at. Initially I thought that maybe I was just really having a bad time fitting in until I noticed things going array in my cognition frequently. Even remotely thinking about situations loosely associated with my trauma made the back of my head pulsate super hard, my neck go hard like a rock & my breathing increase rapidly. That wasn't the worst part as I began to notice my peripheral vision was constantly expanded massively. I believe it's an important detail to mention to bullying happened outside of school and was afflicted by multiple people so I was always very hypervigilant keeping my eye out for danger. This doesn't sound bad in retrospect but whenever I stand or sit next to someone in any environment. It's made me unable to hold down a job, stand or sit next to anyone whether in a classroom, grocery store or even in my own house & has made life hell for such simple activities such as the daily commute. The barrage of humiliating comments I've received from so called "friends" or just people I used to work with or go to school with has made me want to not be alive as I have been treated like an absolute freak. Being exposed to this side of human nature is truly disturbing. This is honestly the worst I have ever felt in my life & has completely detracted from my sense of agency. Although I go the therapy which is free thanks to my university & I am slowly getting better I truly feel that this horrendous period in my life ( which included me flat-lining twice due to an unrelated illness) will forever stop me from being the once confident & well held person I know I am. Btw if anyone has every experienced symptoms similar to these please let me know. It is truly the most horrible & humiliating thing when you are unable to stop staring at someone (due to a biological breakdown in your cognition & conditioned fear of other peers) and no one including your closest friends don't understand the extent of your condition.
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ptsd
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Here's a realization that helped me calm down
In unsettling times, your subconscious is prepared to throw any thought at you that triggers an emotional response, just to alert you and get you in a 'fight or flight'' mode as a way to protect yourself.
Stress as a defense mechanism was useful thousands of years ago when we lived in caves and were in frequent danger, but in our modern lifes it's often unnecessary.
Simply because a thought stresses you out, that alone doesn't mean its 'content' is real or matters at all.
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OCD
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should i get diagnosed or visit a therapist because I don't know if it would help
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depression
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So I've always looked young for my age, I'm 41 now and could easily pass for someone 10 or more years younger than my actual age.
And I kinda get the impression that it's the same deal for many people with Asperger's, would I be right in assuming that? If so, what's the connection?
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aspergers
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If I don’t feel like doing work for the rest of the day, I feel bad about myself and like I’m not a good student. I feel like I need to be constantly productive. But I don’t want to be, I procrastinate way to much, and I just want to be someone who can sit down and get work done like they’re suppose to. I can only do it for so long it feels like. I want to work on scheduling out my days better.
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ADHD
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I have contamination OCD and probably one of the worst events possible happened to me last week... my toilet got clogged and overflowed (water spilled onto the floor.. a lot of it). Luckily there wasn’t actual feces cause it was my second round of wiping but there might’ve been stuff on the TP.
I obviously grabbed towels (thrown out now) and dried it off as soon as I could, I hopped in the shower right away, went back and cleaned some more with some Lysol, sprayed bleach everywhere... but I just can’t shake this feeling that I’m still contaminated, and I’m just spreading it all over the house and to my roommates.
Here’s why: I grabbed a bag that was in the drawer and put it on the floor so that when I finished showering, I could walk on it to get out and get cleaning supplies. But I realized later my hands were probably dirty and so I touched the bag.. got it dirty.... and stepped on it... and tracked the germs all over the house while walking! I’m just super overwhelmed because I’m scared because I walked everywhere, kicked doors closed, got into bed... and maybe got my poop everywhere before I realized my feet were probably dirty.
Not to mention the shower handles, curtain, and walls being dirty from me getting in the first time, the bathroom door handle, my shoes I wore later, etc...
Please help, I don’t know where to go from here.
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OCD
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I don't know... It is just feels like I'm never gonna be able to focus again. I can't study more than ten minutes but I need to study for my university exam. I just don't know what to do I've tried many pills but most of them triggered my impulsive behaviours. I turned 18 and my life is messed up by adhd. I'm on 40mg strattera rn. It works a bit but not like in my past years. Will I be able to focus again? Is there anyone who managed to do this?
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ADHD
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Have you been diagnosed with Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)? The MacAnxiety Research Centre is conducting a short online survey on coping with symptoms of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). We would be grateful for your help in completing survey below:
[https://macanxiety.mcmaster.ca/surveys/?s=cgRTIx](https://macanxiety.mcmaster.ca/surveys/?s=cgRTIx&fbclid=IwAR2neFOOCmxfvu2s0Hk6bejJych-JOImWBSi6Jtt3ZOsYdxxGzZwTdYmJ_A)
All data is collected anonymously and will be stored on a secure server. Responses will be used for research purposes only.
*This study has been approved by the Hamilton Integrated Research Ethics Board. Identifying information will not be collected and individual responses will not be released.*
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ptsd
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Hey guys! I have Tourette's and OCD (undiagnosed - I'm stuck on a wait list). It recently occurred to me that I probably bite and pick at my lips more than a normal amount. I often mess with them until they bleed. Typically I hurt them again before they get a chance to fully heal, so my lips are almost never in good shape.
I did a little research and found that this might be related to OCD? What are your thoughts?
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OCD
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Sometimes imagine pointing a gun to my head and pulling the trigger? Doesn't really seem too healthy of a thing to do but it only lasts a few minutes and then I move on.
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depression
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Does anyone else have this?
I get really anxious of thoughts of going outside but when I do go outside, I have no anxiety whatsoever and I become very confident, even in big events I have no anxiety, like it feels unbreakable, I feel nothing.
And I'm always solo most of the time, I don't go with anyone for comfort, it's weird
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aspergers
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1 am, sleep isn't coming any time soon. Sad songs are on so I feel like I have a reason to be sad. Thoughts are a-whirling. Sigh. Please go away.
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depression
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I (34F) got my ADHD diagnosis and neuropsychological report a week ago. I am moderately to severely affected in most of the areas of adhd.
My psychologist was shocked at my results and the extent. Even with being a woman in my thirties and knowing everything that is against us getting diagnosed, there was absolutely no question about my diagnosis. I’m still kind of in shock too.
I’m just kind of…pissed. I didn’t know it wasn’t normal to have to try so hard. I didn’t understand that other people didn’t have a constant stream of random thoughts and intrusive negative self esteem/self talk.
My husband said it was like I’ve been going through life with one hand and one foot tied behind my back. He’s right. It kind of just hurts. All the wasted energy and time that I will never get back.
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ADHD
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I don't know why but not talking to other people and just being alone makes my ocd a lot worse.
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OCD
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I (18, F) was diagnosed this year with ADHD combined type after a long year and couple months of investigation. My psychiatrist prescribed me ritalin (10mg), one pill a day whenever I needed (work, going to college or so) and trying my best to not take it late in order to avoid sleep issues (more than I already have). After two solid months, I realized it wasn't working and my psychiatrist got my dosage higher to two pills.
Since I'm on vacation rn, I'm taking the medication way less, so I still could not feel if its working or not, however, I got a little paranoid thinking about that. I got many questions in my mind, and even dou ter myself. What if it's not working because I don't actually have ADHD? What if I never find something that helps? What's the difference between medications? What is not working?
Most likely I'll only be able to test more effectively my new dosage later on and talk to my psychiatrist only next year, in a couple months. So, until there, do any of you have any advice? Or at least something friendly to say? An experience to share? I would appreciate it very much :)
And btw, how long have you been on medication? And how long did it take for you to find the right one and the right dosage? How many medications have you went through?
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ADHD
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I have lost my appetite. I dont even know what university work I'm supposed to do or what day it is. I just smoke cigarettes and cry. I feel like shit. He was there to bring me coffee and talk about depression but now he's gone. He's gone because he's the reason I was depressed in the first place. He did awful things to me and im the one who reported him. I almost want to not continue with the investigation just so he will come back in a months time after bail, but I dont even know if he is going to. His mum called me and made me feel guilty. I hate what he did to me. But I miss my abuser. Why can't I be happy or relieved or normal? Who in their right mind would miss their rapist.
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depression
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Kinda long,, sorry I tend to ramble 😅 But I want to provide as much context as possible to answer possible questions.
I was very recently diagnosed by my psychiatrist for ADHD, who I started seeing with the main goal of finding out if I was or not. (Diagnosed about 1/2 inattentive and 1/2 hyperactive, some symptoms of each).
For greater context, here's my meds (besides birth control pill);
I was prescribed Adderall XR 10mg. Extended release version as she prefers (I also agree- I wouldn't want to feel a big surge out of nowhere).
I was also prescribed Bupropion XL 150mg (also extended release) a couple of months ago for anxiety/depression; switching off Sertraline which just wasn't quite right for me. I know Bup. can have a poor interaction w/Adderall resulting in seizures, but I have no history of them, and no prior conditions that risk them, so I wanted to try Adderall (every other ADHD med has an even worse interaction with it, she told me, so it was kinda my only choice).
I am slightly scared of the "addictiveness" of it, but I wonder if that applies more to neurotypicals taking it?
I also dabble in 🌿🔥 (recently legalized in NY). But only the vape version and in tiny hits/light sessions. I like hybrids; 1/2 sativa 1/2 indica, lately apparently enjoying sativa dominant hybrids, for the energy and alertness, but still get to feel relaxed/focused. But not sativa entirely, that was way too much energy lol.
Apparently 🌿 and Adderall don't mix well..
Anyway, I've been fighting a bit of imposter syndrome with it based on how my day went... It says to take it in the morning, but I work a night/graveyard shift (9pm-3am), so I don't wake up until like 2pm, when I take my meds.
So Ive just assumed "morning" is relative? Like just whenever you start your day?
I took it, and had noticed the pile of dishes me and my bf BOTH hate doing (it's gross 🤢), but I l
Almost immediately wanted to get them all done, I asked him to do the pots while I did everything dishwasher-related (the deal we struck). I took out all the trash, replaced all the bags, tidied up a bit for someone coming over later, etc. Felt very productive! Instead of sitting on the couch w/ heavy executive dysfunction wanting and needing to do stuff but just- CANT.
I went to work later, but didn't feel all that different? A bit more focused/Into doing my (kinda repetitive) tasks instead of zoning out and being a bit distracted like a zombie. Felt tired and irritable toward the end, but idk if it was just general annoyance (no one ever puts ANYTHING back where it was, and I knocked something over). I get home by 4, feet hurt, again, not feeling much different than any other night.
Was that surge of productivity because I was more focused and didn't feel the executive dysfunction? Or was it because I might not have ADHD and it gave me the surge of energy non-ADHD users feel?
Because I just took It again about an hour ago and I've just been sitting on my couch typing this out w/YouTube in the background. Been feeling,, jittery? Like it's kinda hard to type rn cuz my thumbs feel shaky, like when you have the flu and your muscles feel week and shaky. But I don't feel the need to get up and do stuff tho. I can actually focus on the videos I'm watching instead of feeling like I have to be on my phone playing something too. (Kind of starting to feel muscle-relaxing like Indica or a muscle-relaxant like one I took for a surgery).
So idk if yesterday was like placebo effect based on what I thought it would do to me or situational because I knew the house needed tidying? 🤷♀️ Too early to tell? I don't see her again til the 23rd, so I'm worried if I decide I don't like it I can't stop until I talk to her in like 1.5 weeks. 😬
TL/DR: (I don't blame you for not reading everything).
I take 10mg Adderall and 150mg Bupropion, both extended release.
Is "Take in the morning" Relative to whenever you start your day?
How different is the relaxed focus ADHD ppl feel on Adderall than the stimulating energy non-ADHD ppl feel? (I can't tell which one I feel, I guess?) I was diagnosed and prescribed it but I'm facing imposter syndrome.
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ADHD
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I can barely write and think. I've been so exhausted really, just physically exhausted. I haven't been able to sleep and like actually rest from some time now, I'm just so sick of this. I wish healing would be faster or I wish there was a guide on how my brain works so I can find the right plug or switch to my emotions and memories then just cut the cord or flip the switch to off .
Just turn off everything and go numb to all of it. I dont want to feel really. I want to just either go completely numb or lock myself in my room for months and sleep. Be a mental health hibernation, sleep and when I wake up I'll be happy. I won't feel like crying almost everyday, I won't feel disgusted about my feelings, I won't feel so pathetic, and I won't feel like such a burden to everyone. Just wake up from a much needed rest and be fixed.
I feel so horrible that the guy Im with decided to give this mess a fucking chance. I don't want him to see me like this really but I can't just hide or fall off the face of the earth you know. He doesn't deserve that.
Man this all sucks.
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ptsd
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I've been fixating on something I've had no access to for the last 2 months. It's been incredibly painful. I feel this overwhelming anxiety in my chest and I just can't figure out what to do to make it better save for getting the thing I'm fixated on back. That's just not realistic at the moment though so the only thing I can do is white knuckle it. Does anyone have any advice? I feel like I'm drowning in anxiety.
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ADHD
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I do this all the time, and I also tend to stare at photos of people I’m obsessed with every day. These obsessions last for over months and sometimes a couple of years. The images of people I’m obsessed with pop into my head frequently on a daily basis. I wish I didn’t do this every day, but it’s hard for me to stop.
Does anyone else relate?
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OCD
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Hi guys, I'm currently in the process of getting my diagnosis. I've found a service that is more affordable than the others but before I commit to spending the money I wanted to see if anyone had used this clinic before and had any thoughts? The clinic is a UK based one called The Mental Health and Wellbeing Services (Shropshire based). They seem to be meeting and exceeding professional standards based on the reports on their website but I've been unable to find any testimonials. Anyone got experience with this place?
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ADHD
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Hey guys! I'm undiagnosed, but fairly certain I have ADHD.
What I want to know is how do you deal with the urge to do so many different things, hobbies specifically!
I have a full time job that also has an hour travel each way so I essentially have 10 hour days including travel, leaving not much spare time on week days.
I play in a band so that usually takes up 1 night a week for practice, sometimes 2 if we need to film a video clip, do a photo shoot, play a gig etc.
I also have a YouTube channel that I try post on at least once a week, so that takes up some time from my week.
Of course I also want to be able to spend time with my partner and just relax together!
So as you can see I'm already super busy, but I always get stressed out because there's so much else I want to do! I would love to learn piano, I want to start a web comic, I used to enjoy video games but have less time for that these days, I only managed to go to the gym on weekends now so I've gained 20kgs and lost a lot of strength since I started full time work. There's just so much I want to do and not enough time, and then I end up getting really depressed when I'm just trying to chill out with my partner at the end of a long work day.
Any advice? Or do you have something similar plaguing you?
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ADHD
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Does anyone else feel like they’re lying/deceiving people around them by not telling them about your trauma? Not friends either, just acquaintances or people that I chat with every now and then in class. I know that I have no obligation to tell them (and I don’t tell them because it’s hard to talk about, and it would probably be weird if I just started talking about it) but part of me feels like they don’t know the real me or who I really am. I know my trauma doesn’t define me but I feel strangely bad for not telling them. Like I’m hiding some huge secret about myself.
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ptsd
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Ever since I don't know how long ago, there's been these "bugs" that always get into my head and I just can't stop thinking about them and they keep on bothering me like an itchy ass on a hot day, and they don't even make any sense most of the time, like I'm talking borderline ridiculous. Like earlier I thought I'm turning into a Muslim,i don't know how you just... turn into one, I have been an orthodox Christian my whole life, I know nothing about Islam. Even before that I thought I was turning gay, I have never found a single man attractive in my whole life. I hate the constant feeling of doubt I have, it's torture. Every single day is just a prick In my cock. I am young I'm not supposed to be doing this right now, I didn't get to live long before this shit got me, i dont even admit that I'm depressed in some way, I didn't even think it until I realised I haven't felt joy in a whole year. I can't afford to be like this, I hate it, I hate not feeling the love I know I have for my family. Its a shame.
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depression
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I will scream out of the blue when I’m home. I realize immediately it’s happening after I do it. It’s embarrassing when someone is home. I’ve been doing this for 5 years.
my sister said she heard me yelling “sorry sorry sorry” and I didn’t remember doing it.
I’m worried I’m doing it more often without realizing. It’s difficult to control it or mask it.
I used to work hard to act normal in public.
But I’m much better lately since I don’t have to go to classes everyday and all the social distancing. less stress less anxiety.
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ptsd
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I've been dealing with a lot of pain and loss this year. It might get better but it's never going to be as good as it was.
I'm just tired of everything. I was living very angrily when I "had it all" but that angry feeling was internal towards myself, on the outside i tried to present myself as someone who had goals and direction. I have so many regrets. I'm a fraud.
It seems so much easier to just stop existing.
This life is shit. My mind is shit. My body is shit.
I don't want to take pills for the same reason I don't want to smoke weed or drink booze. It's all just a mask for the shit that I should be dealing with but can't.
I'm about ready to just give up. I've got nothing to look forward to.
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depression
|
Hey,
I hope a question like this is considered on topic, apologies if it's not.
I've been reading about the concept of types of thinking among those with autism, especially 'pattern thinkers'. This article might help if anybody is unfamiliar with the idea: [https://www.wired.com/2013/05/silicon-valley-coders-and-autism-and-asperbergers-maybe-its-a-new-kind-of-design-thinking/](https://www.wired.com/2013/05/silicon-valley-coders-and-autism-and-asperbergers-maybe-its-a-new-kind-of-design-thinking/)
I'm not sure how well the science behind this perspective holds up, but if there are 'pattern thinkers' among you, I was wondering if any of you tend towards seeing patterns as networks?
I don't believe I'm on the spectrum myself, so apologies if that's an incredibly naïve question, but I assume pattern recognition by 'pattern thinkers' could be seeing patterns as a 'whole' pattern, it could be seeing patterns as the relationships between the parts, or it could be seeing both of those (to me, a network). If patterns are viewed as the latter, do you find you view it holistically or do you look more at the parts? Or are both 'equal'?
Again, apologies if the question makes little sense, if I'm communicating it poorly, or if I'm misunderstanding the idea of pattern thinking, but it is an idea I find quite interesting and I was intrigued to learn more from those who perhaps think in that way :)
Thanks for your help.
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aspergers
|
This one person at work that is constantly insulting others and myself constantly messages me on my personal phone, but because Im a people pleaser at wotk I dont know how to switch it off and I feel the need to reply to them by changing the subject and they say stuff like "arent you my friend anymore" when they dont get responses fast enough. If they werent at my work I would of blocked them and easily told them to f off but instead I have to deal with the cycle of stress in my head because of their passive agressive insults. They even say stuff like dyslexia and adhd arent real too!
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ADHD
|
Feels like it’s the same exact thing everyday. Nothing to look forward to. The world seems grey and boring. Just waiting for the day to end so I can move onto doing the same exact thing again tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that. Always tired no matter how much sleep I get. There’s just no point anymore
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depression
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I am having an awful panic/ depression attack and have been for hours, nothing I have available to me is working (yoga, breathing, fresh air, pets). My psychiatrist won’t prescribe benzos so I have nothing but propranolol for panic attacks.
My life would be way better if I didn’t have these awful and vivid flashbacks. That’s what triggered this and I can’t breathe, can’t stop crying, I feel like something is sitting on my chest and I have a pounding headache.
Is there a way to erase something from your memory? Or stash it far enough away that it doesn’t come up randomly?
I cant handle this :(
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ptsd
|
I tend to let things pile up around me. It can be overwhelming. A lot of it is garbage. I hate walking by the mess. Sometimes I develop weeks long hate relationships with particular items around me.
When this happens I grab a bag and throw out everything that I hate. It's a mental health crisis so I don't worry about recycling (you can if you want). I do a speed run around the house and throw it all out. It's so quick, it's fueled by your hatred for all this stuff, and it takes away the overwhelmed feeling. I dont clean or organize at the same time. Just a bag and my hate. It feels instantly good and rewarding.
Bonus points if the bag you use is part of the mess.
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ADHD
|
[S-adenosyl-L-methionine (SAM) in adults with ADHD, RS: preliminary results from an open trial - PubMed (nih.gov)](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2236465/)
*The psychostimulants d-amphetamine and methylphenidate are thought to be the most effective treatment in children, adolescents, and adults with attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) because they potentiate both dopamine (DA) and norepinephrine (NE) at the synaptic cleft. These medications are not free from side effects and controversy. Newer effective and safe treatments are needed. S-Adenosyl-L-methionine (SAM), the active form of methionine, acts as a methyl donor and is involved in many metabolic pathways. It has beta adrenergic and DA receptor agonist activity. We have been using oral SAM in a sample of well-diagnosed adults with ADHD, residual state (RS) in a 4-week open trial to establish SAM effectiveness and safety and in a 9-week, double-blind, placebo-controlled crossover trial. Preliminary data from the open trial reveal that 75 percent (6 out of 8 male) patients improve on it. The 2 who did not improve had not improved on methylphenidate trial. Improvement ranged from moderate to marked, with minimal and transient side effects that did not interfere with functioning.*
Also, if you are a rat, it will increase your whole-brain dopamine concentrations but I don't think there is a need to quote that as we don't have many rats browsing this subreddit.
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ADHD
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Never had a job, never had a woman in my life, I'm so alone, my family is broken and I prefer ignore them because they are toxic for most of them.
No friends, no contact with anyone.
Now i'm looking for a good psychiatrist, my goal will be to be recognized as disabled because i consider myself mentally disabled, I am dysfunctional, unable to function properly.
Who else here is similar to me?
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depression
|
It seems like I'm the only person I know who is a very heavy dipper. People always comment on how much sauce I get, and I always respond with either "I like sauce" or "They never give me enough." People don't necessarily think it's strange, but they either always comment or joke about it. In my 38 years, I've never known anyone who dips as much as I do. I also don't have any Aspie friends, so just wondering if this is a thing with anyone else.
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aspergers
|
I've been trying to figure out what my personal issues are. I have been reading up on PTSD and I fit the description pretty well. I can't really connect with others, I rarely experience any type of joy. I am a constant thrill seeker and look for extreme experiences to feel normal feelings. I spent years shooting heroin which I am almost 6 years sober from. However, I find myself numb to most normal feelings. Things that are meaningful to most, are boring to me. The only time I really laugh is if I or someone else makes a sarcastic joke. My ability to make a true genuine connection is almost impossible because I really don't know how or I really just don't care to. I thought people who experienced PTSD were mainly war veterans but I am the type of person that prefers solitude and just prefers to be by myself. Although I love to party but in the end, I am much more happier on my own. I am in a compassionate field and I do intent to pursue nursing school because I can separate my feelings from chaotic situations, however, I would eventually like to make a meaningful connection with someone or persons. There were something traumatic that happened to me that made me the way I am, but I don't know what it is. Anyone feel the same way?
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ptsd
|
Before I explain my question, I should explain why it affects me.
I was in the Air Force for a few years, and sometimes I wake up and have intense dread that I have to report for work. Ill sometimes have flashbacks to moments at my old job and ill start crying. I cant explain it, but its this extreme sense of dread that fills me.
I was diagnosed with CPTSD while I was still in the service.
My question is, is this something a lot of workplace PTSD victims suffer from? Does anyone have any advice on coping with it when it strikes?
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ptsd
|
Man, life is just, all over the place. I can be happy one second, and be destroyed the next.
I can be saying nice things to myself, then smacking myself in the head.
I can be cheerful, but then shit happens and I feel so vengeful
I can be wise, but then my inner-critic makes me perfectionistic
I can be happy on the outside, but hurting on the inside
I can see the world in a great way, then see it in a shit hopeless way
I try try try and worry too hard, then I take a break and more shit happens
I help other people with sadness, but then I feel like no one gives a shit about my sadness
Things are going great, then BOOM everything has crashed into SHIT
I can be calm, then be pissed off
I wanna cry, but I try and don't even know all the causes and can't release it all
At least I have you guys. :)
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depression
|
It’s been a couple of “those weeks,” and today is one of “those days.”
My 4 yo lab/Weimaraner mix often brings me gifts to say he loves me, to welcome me home, and to cheer me up. He brings me shoes, jackets, cracker boxes, his sister’s Mickey Mouse and pink Troll stuffies, favorite toys or bones, smelly containers from recycling, and other treasures he finds around the house.
This morning, he brought me a copy of a “wellness recovery action plan” given to me by a counselor. I’ve had difficulty adhering to it, and experience involuntary eye rolls and annoyance every time I try to read it.
What are you trying to say buddy?😂❤️
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ADHD
|
I have a history of disordered eating and I'm not sure if it's tied to OCD or not, but last night I was legit going out of my mind because I wanted a ham sandwich so bad at 12am and it threw me into a terrible OCD loop.. like I was so hungry but it had to be a ham sandwich!! i didnt eat it last night and i woke up still thinking about it..I'm on a diet and trying to lose weight (I'm like 40 lbs overweight) and
kinda wondering if anyone else's OCD goes bonkers when trying to diet
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OCD
|
So my brother has been a problematic teen for years. He’s been involved in drugs and supposedly gangs and has violent tendencies. He’s been diagnosed at 14 to have aspergers but did not receive medication until recently (18) because he refused help. He behaves like a total asshole, steals, shouts at me, rude, threaten to kill me etc and blames it on his condition. My parents do not correct his behaviour and keep telling me “he’s ill” instead of addressing my suffering and I think it’s because they partially want to rationalize how they completely failed to raise him properly. Am I being too critical? Please educate me as I don’t know many people with it, is this normal?
Edit: thank you everyone for your responses, you actually have no idea how helpful this is (again because I don’t know much about the topic). In terms of action I will tell you my brother has been arrested for pointing a knife at me. I live away from the family home but go back because my mom exhibits severe signs of Stockholm Syndrome (my dad supposedly has Aspergers too...but now it really might just be faked Asshole syndrome because he treats her poorly). I don’t know what meds my brother is on, but my parents won’t make him move out because they think he’s a “poor little bird that can’t handle society” and continue to let him wreak havoc in the house. Police have been involved... no one can punish him. We’re supposed to just work around him, hence my frustration.
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aspergers
|
So I’ve had OCD for about 4 years now. It started out as contamination OCD. I couldn’t touch specific things, I washed my hands after touching anything I thought was “dirty”. I showered for at least 3 hours every day. And I’ve gotten a lot better at that aspect. My showers are around 20 minutes now, and I don’t wash my hands as much. But more recently I’ve been having more mentally tolling OCD. I check things over and over again, such as if I shut a door or not, or if a setting in my phone is correct or not. But it’s gotten to the point where I can’t even play video games. Every time I go into a game I want to play, I go to the settings and look at the colorblind settings. I’m not colorblind, and for some reason I keep checking that setting to make sure it’s turned off or set to “default”. I’ll spend hours on that screen checking over and over and over. To the poiny I’ll just close the game and try again the next day. I don’t know how to stop and I’m scared I won’t be able to stop.
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OCD
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I don't know if anyone else relates to this, but it makes me so happy that I can instantly read the reactions of other people and actually express my own emotions in a way that people understand. The faces and cartoon expressions of the emotes are so easy to read that I don't have to spend minutes or hours deciphering how the other person is feeling or what they're *really* trying to say.
I know it sounds ridiculous but sometimes I like to imagine what a twitch chat would look like reacting to whatever real life situation I'm in. It feels really childish but it helps me process my emotions easier. I would never actually react to something by saying it out loud (for fear of being shamed to death) but I like saying it to myself in my head.
I know if I admitted this to anyone in real life they would look at me like I'm crazy, so I hope this is something related to being on the spectrum and I'm not just being weird.
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aspergers
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my mind will never shut up😀 i want to literally throw away my brain for a day! anyone else?
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OCD
|
Not enjoying making it post really. For a few mounths i'm almost unable to get any joy from anything. I never was a loudest person in the room, but now it feels like someone can just pull a trigger and in one moment joy disapears. I cannot study, i cannot write or do anything porductive in two mounth.
However, i feel like i'm chasing a reasons to stay that way, like i lack something what's making myself move. And all the people who have that are, like, out of place.
I'm just out of ideas
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depression
|
I made a post here a couple days ago explaining how I found my Concerta's efficacy very inconsistent and today I think I discovered the problem and solution.
I'd have good streaks where I felt the Med working all day then I'd have days where I felt like my brain was smooth and my mind was empty. On the smooth brain days, I'd see and hear things but still have trouble processing them and formulating a response on time.
Today, it was a smooth brain day. I woke up, took my meds and washed it down with some cold brew before heading out for the day. I drove multiple hours, did some shopping, did more driving and put together some furniture but during all this, I found it nearly impossible to grip reality if that makes sense.
I spent way too much time thinking about why this was happening and it was only until I started adding things up did it make sense. The night before, I slept like total shit and I woke up tired but the Concerta slightly aleviated the fatigue for the day but I still couldn't feel any of the focus I usually find with it. 2 hours ago, I took a caffeine pill just to test my theory and lo and behold; **I was just tired.**
Now, whether or not the morning coffee and it's acid destroyed the pill, I'm still not sure but for the time being, I seem to have found a solution for my puzzling problem.
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ADHD
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Ever since something happened to me, I had started zoning out and day dreaming over. Usually after a flashback I’ll get triggered, think about the truama, then I will slowly enter a day dream about it and how awful it is. Why? This didn’t happen before? It happens so often too.
*I’m not going into a imaginary world to maladaptive day dream or anything.
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ptsd
|
Sometimes I tell people what I truly think, but they don't seem to understand, or prefer to ignore it because it's not what they expected to be said. And sometimes it's simple things for me that i say that they seem to be offended by. The whole world seems to me more theater than reality, people just act in a way that escapes their own nature.
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aspergers
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Like for me it's light switches. I normally will push a light switch in whatever direction it's currently in when I see it. But sometimes I don't, and walk past it. It doesn't bother me either, and I don't have to go and do it if I forgot to. Is this normal or am I just losing my mind
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OCD
|
My ex (25 nonbinary/transmasc) and best friend who I (30 nonbinary/trans) love deeply has OCD and just came to this realization- and diagnosis during therapy- recently, after struggling their whole life. I have severe ADHD and many autistic traits so I am very empathetic towards their struggle, though I don't always know the right things to say.
They struggle more with intense anxiety and contamination/germ based OCD rituals- a nightmare for anyone with this compulsion during Covid. We live in Canada and the second wave hit us hard in our area of the country; which is the most densely populated place across the nation.
Their OCD is so bad right now they can't enter their house for hours after work (low/no contact with human clients), having to sit in their car for fear of contaminating their family or dogs. They can't see me, though we live only 45 minutes apart and I've offered to drive to them and wave from my car with the windows closed to support them and show I care. Their hands are cracked and peeling from sanitizing at work and everywhere they can.
Their worst nightmare came true when their workplace was recently shut down for 2 weeks due to 2 employees with Covid, and they couldn't leave their room or function for fear of spreading disease to their pets or family. They went hungry many nights because they couldn't justify going to the kitchen and contaminating their family to get food.
Their mom is kind enough, but even she will join with their sister (a very unkind and I would say verbally abusive/aggressive person from what I've experienced and heard) to say how irrational they're being and how crazy my love's compulsions are sometimes. So you can imagine that they feel totally alone at the hardest times and like a burden. They can't move out of the family home, despite being able to afford to, because they worry their compulsions will spiral out of control and they won't be able to eat well in an anxious and alone place.
Yesterday, after sitting in their car from 7 pm after work until almost 1 am despite the bitter cold, they told me they are thinking they may have to check in somewhere, because they can't go on like this. My heart breaks for them, because they are such an incredible person and no part of them is annoying or shameful to me (including irritability sometimes due to stress, and less "ideal" traits) but they feel constantly as if they are worthless and can't do anything right.
What can I say or do to support them and validate them properly? They have told me that not validating certain OCD behaviors, while sounding cruel on paper, is better long term for people suffering from intense compulsions. I think they take this too far into having no self compassion and self shaming, but I also want to respect them with what I say. They also feel terrible for burdening me with their problems, though they are not at all to me, because they had to break up with me due to bad mental health in the first place. I choose to be here, and it's an honor to love them.
What do you want to hear from loved ones when you are in the middle of a compulsion that would make you feel less shameful and alone?
Thank you.
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OCD
|
First published in the DSM III in 1980. A reminder how (relatively) new this diagnosis is. There is much more to learn. If you don't have a treatment that works for you now please don't give up!
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ptsd
|
I mentioned that I have been noticeably better with my OCD for a while earlier today. Now I'm back to my old thinking patterns, ear-worms, and repetition. Has anyone else experienced something similar? I'm trying to stop this before it sets bad again.
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OCD
|
January 14th marked 7 years since I was r*ped. It wasnt what everyone thinks of when they hear the word. It wasnt "forced". I was manipulated for a year and a half, and on january 14th, 7 years ago, I was convinced to take anxiety pills, that he was the only one who could love me and wanted to touch me, and so I let him. I thought that sex was just a requirement of love. I didnt realize I had been manipulated for months. Thankfully my parents came home early that day and caught him, otherwise I might not have ever realized what he did was wrong. I was 14, he was 19. He tricked me in so many ways. Made me feel special, convinced me I was his one and only. He used the fact that I had recently developed mental issues and wormed his way into my fragile state. He got me pregnant. He never knew, because I miscarried before the court date 3 months later. It was my first time having sex, my first time being pregnant, and my first miscarriage. At 14. I am now 21. I still have nightmares. I still can barely have sex without flashbacks. I still cringe every time I see his name. I still wince every time I see or hear someone that reminds me. And I still panic every year on that day.
The worst part? Its not even the flashbacks anymore. Its the baby fever I get that reminds me of the baby I lost. Its the tear I wipe away every time I see my nephew or niece, the moments of sadness when I pass the baby isles in walmart. Its knowing that I had a precious thing growing inside me from such a horrible event, a beautiful star amidst all the blackness, and the stress he caused took that away too.
But after all this, I have one thing I would like to say to you A.S.W.:
You didn't get the best of me.
You may have broken me then, but I am being fixed now and you will never see the woman I am becoming.
You will never know the child you lost, but you will have a stain on your soul that even you can't figure out.
One day I will be whole again.
One day I will go days, weeks, months, and even years without thinking of you, and I can't wait to never think of you again.
One day you will die and your soul will be weighed, and you may not have remembered me, but your gods will, and you will get what you deserve.
So yes, some days hope gets me through, and some days its the knowledge of justice, but I am getting through and I AM DOING IT WITHOUT YOU.
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ptsd
|
(NSFW) So,
I'm 24. I've always been alone in a very deep and irresolvable capacity. Finishing school, getting a little bit older, and trying to move to a new country really set that in this year in ways before inconceivable. I'm sure it'll lift slightly with the pandemic, because I'll at least be able to take walks and meet people. But this year, in the new country, I for the first time experienced what it was like to truly be of no use or importance to anyone. I was completely extraneous in a way I had never comprehended in all my years of social distance, and it was worse than anything I had previously been able to fathom.
What does this remind me of? The relation I'll have to the world as an old maid. Maybe for the next few years I can keep screwing around and get by with my never-ending rotation of male acquaintances and temporary peers who eventually get too pissed off with me or decide I'm other and should be ruthlessly left to rot. But there will come a time, maybe at 30, maybe at 40, maybe even at 50, where if I don't have kids, I will again receive the cue that I'm fundamentally irrelevant. And this time, there will be no "maybe next year", just the same shit over and over again for the rest of my life.
Can I handle it? I find it hard to respect people, but I need their love and acceptance more than I think. Even when I don't like them, they affect me. At points this year, I would've committed suicide if I weren't so accustomed to living. It is selfish to have kids just to have a place in society or not grow old alone. But half or more do it, I'm sure, and only come to love their children as individuals after the fact. The standard advice for women is have kids, or you'll regret it. I think it's widely true. But most advice applies to everyone except me and 3 other types of people.
I know I'd be a shit mother. Honestly, no matter what I do, I'm screwed. I'll in part regret either state of affairs and my life is sure to be filled with misery one way or another. What, however, is best? Theoretically, I can try to work on my issues and mold myself to be a good mother. That's what my NT mom has told me. But if we're being honest, I don't think I'll change much. I never changed before despite all the problems it caused, so why would I change some other time? People don't like to hear it, and maybe it's not even true, but I feel like I can't change. I've never been a giver. Could anything make me become one? Most step up into the role and develop selfless affection when they have kids. But autistic people are known to do the unthinkable against all odds and fail to produce sentiments, volitions, or capacities where they should. I have lots of compassion for the weak and unlucky but day to day, I'm almost purely selfish.
After 3 boyfriends and 2 flings I've still never given blowjob because I've never felt like it. One of those boyfriends, I loved. I still love him to this day. But I couldn't suck his dick, so I guess my love isn't good for much. I could have these rad kids and dress them in this and that and take them to the museum to cultivate their faculties. It could be fun and rewarding at least sometimes. Those moments and the fulfillment of bringing additional substance into the world could make it worth it. I could also of course spare myself the abject emptiness of dealing with our culture as a childless old woman and going into a nursing home with no one to visit me. But if I'm not cut out for it, I'm not.
TLDR: What do you think? Should I try to be cut out for it, or trust precedent and just forget about it? Your own decisions and experiences are of interest to me.
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aspergers
|
My whole life I’ve always felt much more connected with my pets and sometimes other peoples pets.
When I was little, until like age 10 I didn’t have any friends and was a lonely only child. But my mother got me a beautiful border collie mix puppy that I named Smokey. For ten years that dog helped me get through being bullied at school, feeling like something was wrong with me because I wasn’t like the other kids. But she never judged me.
Then I had a cat for several years which was also nice.
But this year once the pandemic shut everything down snd I was in a major depressive funk, my husband decided to surprise me with a puppy.
I cannot express how much better this dog has made my life. It’s made it easier to get to know neighbors snd be social. When I’m with my dog I don’t seem as awkward and everything just seems easier. And unlike with people, whose emotions and true feelings I can never properly read, I know this dog and he knows me.
Anyone else have similar stories with pets? Especially dogs it seems.
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aspergers
|
Hello, I was diagnosed as a child with ADD (21M), I've been with my girlfriend for 8 months now, I love her very much, although I had ROCD which now doesn't really bother me anymore. However, to put things in context, my girlfriend has been suffering from a urinary problem for 6 months, I try to support her as much as possible in her illness. And so we don't have the opportunity to have sex anymore. She has a very low libido now and mine is high (we had the same libido more or less).
I want to stay with her, our relationship is very healthy. Her and I want to explore our bodies together. However, I am in a monogamous relationship and I still have this frustration that I have never had other sexual experiences with other people. I don't want that frustration, I don't want to think about other girls.
I suffer a lot from this, I try to accept these thoughts. To accept that I can be attracted to other girls, and I know that I will remain faithful, I trust myself.
I would like to know if this has happened to anyone and if you have any solutions.
PS : i think i could be polyamory but for now i prefer to focus on our relationship and wait until she feels better and our trust issues become better.
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ADHD
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Sorry for two questions but I’m curious, do you guys find journaling helpful? I’m finally going to get to talk to a counselor soon about my issues and I want to write my thoughts out so that I have an idea of what I want to say.
I started journaling about a year ago, but I only really did it a few times. I’m finding it hard even now to stay focused on writing (here I am writing this post instead of in the journal lol) so if anyone has advice on how to stay focused that would be appreciated. Thanks for reading!
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ADHD
|
I was alright for most of the day until an interaction with my family triggered a depressive episode. Now I'm confused, tired, don't know what to do with myself, blank, I just don't want to be here in this cycle. I don't even know why im posting this, I feel nothing rn, it's driving me wild, I just want to destroy everything but its a candle lit flame rn. I can't let it out, I wouldnt want too. ill end it here i feel nothing, I like forward to nothing, and I hope I don't die feeling nothing.
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depression
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I have some things inside that often cause me stress/ anxiety and give me little dips in and out of depression.
My mother was a prostitute and my father was a super rich business man when they met. I don’t know much else as there is a lot of secrecy, never brought this up with my father. I don’t know if I was an accident or not but either way I was definitely loved by both my parents although they split when I was 2 years old and my father got custody of me.
They are both from two different continents and due to this I was raised out of South America ( my mums country) and in Europe causing me to not have much contact with my SA side of the family. My dad is a business man and spent my childhood taking me with him around the world but we never ever spent time with his family ( also a painful topic for him as he doesn’t speak much of it , his parents passed away before my birth and his sister has intense mental disorders) so I feel like an orphan. An adult orphan with no support. I have no siblings.
I do have contact to my mother and she tries hard to upkeep the relationship although does not have a base, she works in fashion now and often travels for work. We are very different. She and my dad are on good terms although he is now in his 70s, getting older which causes me a lot of anxiety as he is the only family I have ever known. Without him nowhere would feel like home.
Both my parents come from significantly different income brackets and the SA family faces a lot of hardships due to systematic problems in the country.
I have a cousin who was in jail for armed robbery, my aunt was sexually abused as a child and her current husband has now just gone into jail for association with gangster groups , identity fraud and several other charges. They are also lost case religious die hards, normal in high poverty areas in that country in SA. This pushes us further apart.
They know my father has money and probably no one would do anything to me but I feel deeply scared to be in that country and be associated with them at all. Not everyone in the SA family is bad but I have had to distance myself mentally and physically because we have nothing to do with eachother and are basically estranged. Europe is safer for me. People assume I come from a wealthy background but do not know the dark side of my family. I try to have sympathy and understand them but have realized that being in that country and feel like an orphan surrounded by people that are supposed to be family would do me more bad than good.
I have just recently met my boyfriends family they come from a mid - upper class background are all very well educated and he seems to have had a healthy non traumatic childhood filled with love and attention and also a good support network around him.
I feel sad for not being able to introduce him to anyone as I’m embarrassed of the SA family and have no relationship with them. My father will pass away one day he is already 77 and he is the light of my world and am very proud of him and would like them to meet soon when the time is right so he at least sees some good part of the family. Once he is gone I will consider myself an orphaned adult at 25 years of age.
I feel scared to tell my boyfriend about my traumas because I’m scared he will judge me about my mothers past profession, something she did out of necessity but brings me so much shame. I’m scared that he will think I have too much baggage and am unlovable or crazy because of my fucked up background ( which I had no control over). I’m scared he will view me as more needy and see me in a different light once I tell him these things. I also don’t want him to feel sorry for me and view me as weak.
Overall my mental health is ok but I have dips where I think about this inter generational trauma and sometimes I feel deeply alone, despite my good friendships. I have enough resources and financial privilege to life a healthy life and do whatever I want anywhere but my past/ my family’s past sometimes gets me down and I go into a little depressive hole.
Should I reveal this to him? This is my ultimate vulnerability. We have been together for 7 months. How do I say it? I feel like I must tell him in order for him to truly understand who I am and how strong I have to be everyday.
Please send your advice an opinions I would really appreciate it.
Love and hugs
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ptsd
|
TW: Sexual Assault, politics, Kavanaugh.
So, I just need to vent. I have been off Facebook for years but over the past year have gotten back on Facebook to see what my family is up to. During my time off Facebook I think being on Reddit has made me a bit bolder to speak up and say what's on my mind.
Anyway, somebody shared an article about Kavanaugh that makes a very large leap to claim that all the accusers are lying. I realize there is very little evidence either way but this article was making very unfounded claims. So I started debating with the article sharer.
However, someone unrelated who's cover photo was a picture of text that says "I have PTSD - Pretty Tired of Stupid Democrats" took it upon themselves to call me a stupid liberal and say I need a normal life and common sense.
I think that cover photo might be one of the singularly most offensive things I've ever seen. Not to mention, my chance at a normal life was taken from me when I was raped, and have since had to struggle with PTSD.
I just can't even express the rage it makes me feel right now. I have since removed myself from that conversation so that I can cool down, but how can people be so crass and mean? I guess I know how, people are terrible. But it just kills my already small faith in humanity.
I guess I just needed to vent. What makes people think it's ok to turn an actual mental illness into a joke to attack people they disagree with?? Has anyone else seen this stupid picture before? Sexual Assault PTSD aside, I used to know a veteran with PTSD who was a Democrat. It's just that cover photo was so brazenly insensitive.
I guess I just need a place to express my anger that isn't on that post.
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ptsd
|
So I am not anti-Med but taking scripts of any kind just doesn’t seem like it actually solves much. I’ve been on a few rounds of different things and they don’t really do much. Weed is the only thing that seems to work effectively but latley ive been way to busy to be high (school/homework and work). I have spring break coming up and someone I was talking to about PTSD had said that shrooms help with PTSD. A google search later I found out that it was backed with trials. Can anyone confirm? Has this worked for anyone?
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ptsd
|
So. We all know of instances when we get “you don’t look autistic?” Right? I got a “What is Autistic” basically
Here is an example of the misunderstanding (or maybe lack of awareness that it exists?):
I'm currently changing my license to my new address and back to a KY License. Had this conversation with the workers just now.
Me: When I lived in IN they were able to put on the back of the RealID that I have Autism. Can you do that here?
(They have the ability to put medical alerts on the back. In very rare circumstances, it gets hard for me to talk and I may panic or cry or just struggle to regulate emotions. I figure that’s a good reason to have an alert, hence why it was listed when I lived in IN.)
Worker 1: I don’t think we can do that. (To other worker) Can we do that.
Worked 2: Autism. What do you mean by that?
Me, very dumbfounded: …I’m on the Autism Spectrum….?
…they didn’t add it.
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aspergers
|
Isn't it depressing that it feels like theres barely anyone that wants to help. Like its either everyone's depressed or no one cares, but theres no one to help.
Not like I even want help, I just wanna get this over with and die already. But I'm lazy and a procrastinator so I'll just keep on going until I get the last straw or something. I really just want something to push me over the edge. Or maybe keep my hopes up, but none of that "family will miss you". They dont love me, if they did they'd at least try to help instead of telling me to fuck off. Telling me I have a poor me attitude instead of trying to listen.
I'm tired of going on like this, teetering on the edge of killing my self and fighting to go on. I need something, anything, just a deciding factor, or a sad post or a method of suicide I didnt think of. I'm tired of stewing in my own thoughts and hatred all day every day just to have a chance that sometime in the future I'll have a good time or something.
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depression
|
Without getting into details I seem to piss off everyone in my field without meaning to (their complaints are likely somewhat valid).
I'm much, much dumber than i was when i was younger and failing classes in subjects i used to perform well in despite how much effort i'm putting in.
I am stretched too thin trying to take care of myself, earn money, pass classes, the only reason things were kinda working was that i had research work, which has now largely been made redundant since someone else made the breaktrough i was working towards.
I'm an idiot, a social pariah and have no idea how i'm going to make enough money to live o moving forward.
I'm 35.
I wish i could just check myself into assisted living or something and stop being a burden on people who arent paid to deal with me.
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aspergers
|
I’ve realised that when I do cry about my trauma or anything related to my trauma, i maybe sob for like 30 seconds and feel a yawn coming, and then my emotions kinda just get switched off as if as easily as the flip of a switch, and i stop crying immediately. Not even the sniffles, I just completely stop and turn off. It has made it really hard to process my trauma and i minimise my trauma because of it, because I feel like a fake if I can just flip the switch off just like that. My chest just goes empty too as if I’m over it, or like I never thought much of it in the first place (which is not true because I feel a lot of pain and grief from it that usually kickstarts my crying).
Does anyone experience emotional numbing like this too?
I’m in the 6th month of my latest, most severe trauma and have diagnosed ptsd. I do experience some dissociation and did dissociate during my traumatic events. Not sure if that info is relevant.
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ptsd
|
Over the past year experiencing/trying to process certain traumatic events has really made me question my gender identity, but I can't tell if this was how I've always felt and just been repressing these thoughts or if it's a response to said traumatic events. Are there any resources I could use to understand/get perspective on how I'm feeling?
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ptsd
|
After a pretty shitty childhood, a decade of enduring domestic violence, and years of extreme anxiety. I was finally diagnosed with complex ptsd. I’m looking forward to continuing therapy and starting my meds,
to see if I can actually get through the day with out continuous defense mechanisms and safety plans.
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ptsd
|
So I’m pretty sure I have PTSD, months ago I was in a really bad relationship and he was really abusive in many ways, and since then I’ve had certain triggers that sent me spiralling into a panic attack or crying,or I end up disassociating to what someone is saying and It feels like I get put back in time to when I was with my ex , like he was hurting me all over again
How to I help with the trigger?
Any suggestions? Please.
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ptsd
|
Just want to share that they exist and have been great. They're associated with UCSF (Univ of Calif, San Francisco) and do virtual visits - even for non-CA residents - specifically for ADHD. Before, I went to the same Dr for like 6 years but he retired last year, and it was difficult to find a new provider close to me that had availability (cuz ya know, pandemic). The CM provider has been super great and submits my scrips electronically -- which has been amazing considering for 6 years I had to drive to the Dr office to pick up a paper scrip and take to the pharmacy. Even though they're in CA they accept my insurance so the copay for each visit is $20. I guess the only downside is my previous Dr would have me come in for a checkup every 3 months whereas CM requires every month. Other than that, highly recommend!
ETA: I'm not advertising for them or promoting them. Just sharing my experience to help anyone who struggles with finding providers that believe ADHD is real, or won't look at you like a drug-seeker. I hate finding new providers after being established because both of the above have happened to me.
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ADHD
|
Hello everyone. I wonder if your country has depression support group like scenes in Hollywood? What I mean is physical support group.
I searched for support group (I'm from SE Asia btw) and all I can found are those facebook group or clinical psychologist clinic. Sessions with professionals are uncomfortable, eventhough it was necessary.
I just I want to try tell a story to some people with common problems physically after long period of isolation.
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depression
|
I understand significant mood swings are sometimes a symptom of ADHD, and recently I've been struggling with some mood swings of my own. For about a month I was in a bit of a depressive state, and just really was in a bit of a mood all the time. However, despite really still being in said mood just yesterday, today I was surprisingly quite hyperactive and impulsive, more like my usual self. I guess I should be happy that I'm in a happier state, though I'm a bit disappointed that my old impulsive habits and inability to control what I say have returned.
What are your experiences with mood swings?
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ADHD
|
I've been having really vivid nightmares for a couple weeks. The nightmares always end up with someone I know and love being murdered, it seems so real and when I wake up I know it wasn't but it leaves me the rest of the day feeling really disturbed and anxious. I just met with my psychiatrist today and told him about this and he said Prazosin will help. I'm picking up my prescription later but wanted to know if anyone here has tried this and found it to be helpful with reducing nightmares?
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ptsd
|
does anyone else not feel at all like themselves when in an ocd spiral? i literally don’t even know who i am anymore. nothing feels right, there seems to be a cloud over me with no way out. time doesn’t seem real, i never know what day it is and months seem like days but days seem like months. i don’t have motivation to do anything except attempting to distract myself with a show or game but even that doesn’t always work. i think pure o mighty actually be killing me, not physically but me as a person
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OCD
|
I’m just really tired. I feel awful with my ROCD. I dwell on things too much and I hate myself for it. Sometimes I feel okay but then whenever I feel fine my brain keeps looking for problems. I don’t know why my brain won’t stop looking for problems. I can’t be problem-free, there HAS to be something wrong. Can this be overcome, can I even be truly happy?
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OCD
|
i have just recently gotten diagnosed and am kind of new to all the terminology and inner workings of ocd. so i’m curious ! what type of ocd do you have, what does that mean for you, what do you do to help it, etc etc ?
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OCD
|
Early in the morning my mother called me, and i'm greeted with my mother crying and telling me my father died of at the hospital today due to kidnzy failure, i don't know what to do and i just feel empty and exhausted, it's hard to watch my brother grieve over my father
the burden and consequinces of my father dying is too heavy, i have to be the father figure of my brother now, not mention i'll be the one managing all of the money on my father bussiness...i don't think i can do all of this
this is the worst year ever, not only my father died this year, several others of my close friends also died this year
all of this just doesn't feel real and i don't want it to be real, perphaps i'm living on the wrong timeline
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depression
|
For background, back in December I was hit extremely hard out of nowhere with what I believe was relationship OCD. I’ve never had it confirmed but I spend all my free time looking at articles about falling out of love, how do you know that someone is the one, etc etc. As well as experiencing extreme anxiety and relentless intrusive thoughts. I also experienced intrusive thoughts about other things, such as thinking I was going crazy and what if killed myself eventually.
Anyway, this carried on everyday until around April/May time when it started gradually getting better. By June I had literally one intrusive thought per day and I could brush them off so easily. I was fine until recently, when I started having a few more frequent thoughts again and I could feel myself checking feelings and ruminating again.
Basically, my question is:
Can OCD come and go in episodes like how I’m describing? Or is what I’m experiencing something else, not OCD?
I’m confused because I know that OCD is extremely debilitating for so many, and I can’t imagine it just “goes away” for a bit. Any advice or answers would be greatly appreciated.
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OCD
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like constantly having to be like "no i dont" "no i dont want that" "no i dont beileve that" "no no no"
its gets tiring, but i feel obligated to fight back or else i feel im agreeing
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OCD
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Someone once posted on here that people with ADHD can absolutely do work as long as the work had these four or five qualities. I thought I’d remember them in an overconfident moment that I had no right to have, but I remember two of those qualities. One was that the work/activity had to be “novel” and “imperative” (like it’s going to be due tomorrow morning). Can anyone remember this post? Or the other qualities? Thank you so much!
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ADHD
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I know that physically startling yourself out of an intrusive thought helps, and currently what I do is kinda shake my head to the side, slam my desk, or quickly shift my eyes to the sides. However, my health OCD is making me think I'll give myself a concussion by twisting my head too fast, the desk slam is just too loud obnoxious, and im just a bit too lazy of the shift eyes thing.
Really considering slapping my wrist with a rubber band, always heard that being recommended for like smokers and nail biters. Has anyone tried this for OCD?
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OCD
|
I hope this gets ignored and deleted. I've never been diagnosed with depression so maybe it's selfish to post here about this but I don't care. I don't even know why I'm posting.
It's been so long. So long since I felt genuinely happy and content with my life. I was messing up and making mistakes but I was making everyone proud. I was somewhat clever, I could easily make friends, I was getting stronger everyday, I was faithful and striving to be the best Christian I could be, I was devoted to becoming greater. I was happy. Maybe I'm looking back in rose tinted glasses.
I'm happy. I have my wife and she makes the worst day feel ok.
But everything else. I constantly feel like a fool at my job. I can't leave it either. I'm always reminded I am less than everyone else and everyone finds it funny. I can't write poetry anymore which I did to express feelings, nor can I draw. Anytime I try to be creative, there is nothing but void. I've practically given up on becoming better. It hurts to see my BMI slowly approach early stages of obesity, but I lack energy to even just take a shower everyday or do normal basic hygiene. Let alone work out like I used to. I've become so cynical, so hateful and sour, a horrible shell of the man... The Christ lover I used to be. I've failed those before me who thought I would let God work through me to do great things. My sisters and brothers who I see falling down horrible paths but can do nothing about. I've basically given in to the addictions I fought so much. I don't even try to stop anymore. I feel horrible for keeping it from my wife and everyone else. I feel horrible for being less than what my wife deserves.
I'm nothing but the shell of what I used to be. I had my flaws of course, but things were so different.
I'm just an idiot who can't do anything right anymore. I distanced myself from friends, don't want to have or make friends, I even distanced from family. I know they wouldn't be proud anyway.
I can't go a day without voices in my head constantly berating me and pointing out how foolish and how much of a failure I am. How much Im an attention seeker.
Speaking of attention seeker, I hate that. I never open up because I don't want people to give me attention, I don't deserve it, and those voices in my head wouldn't let me ask for help anyway. I don't deserve it.
So, I used this account. Ironically an account I use to fuel one of my addictions and no one can trace back to me. I'm such a whore. A failure. An idiot.
Speaking of whore, who lusts after their wife's best friend? Who literally fantasizes about that? This absolute trash here. I've never cheated but I fantasize about it. You don't need to to tell me how disgusting and worthless I am for that. I already know. I don't deserve sympathy, nor am I asking for it.
I'm getting weaker everyday. Physically, mentally, spiritually. It doesn't matter.
I pray everyday, even though I know God is probably... I failed him too. I'm sorry.
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depression
|
So me and my family were out and we decided to get snow cones at this truck. I was already a little anxious because of all the kids there and I was trying not to look. I go up to order and see it’s a young girl working. She was probably between 13-16 and I’m 17. So if she was 15-16 there’s no issue. But if she was 13 that’s an issue. So as soon as I see her I’m testing myself to see if I’m attracted. I felt anxiety raise and it got worse because I knew I would have to order soon after my mom. Right before I ordered I almost couldn’t breath and my heart was racing and I was shaking. I was almost to the point of a panic attack but it got better. I was order as I was shaking tho. POCD is awful man. On the plus I guess that only further proves how far I am from actually being a pedo despite how real it feels........yay
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OCD
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I have ADD and PTSD without an inner monologue.
I just learned not everyone has one.
I'm curious about how inner monologue looks in other people with PTSD.
Do you have an inner monologue or not?
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ptsd
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Can ocd, intrusive thoughts, etc., have the voice of those you hate? I in particular always have the voice of my mother in my head, or old friends or employers. It's something I've always wondered and looking in reddit I have not found that much.
Often after an argument the thoughts to chase away the anxiety and to normalize the event are: it's normal to have an argument, I feel I'm in the right, there's no need to rethink the whole argument and how it could have gone etc.... The next voice after the reassuring one is often the voice of the person I just had the fight with who tells me phrases like: Ah so you don't want to face your responsibilities eh? You don't want to rethink it etc.... Is this normal for who have ocd or i have schizophrenia? I'm so scared.
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OCD
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All days feel hard. Before I lost my dad I was still struggling each week with staying hopeful, it doesn't take much before I enter the cycle again and the genuine feeling of helplessness takes over, I feel like each time I dip I lose more of my hope, more of my armour against the piercing numbness and sorrow. At times the pain is clear, I know why it hurts - the days I don't understand are the ones of emptiness. Like a great void opened up from the inside of my chest, consuming, hungry, and all knowing, I am my worst enemy.
I am the vessel of entropy and as much as I try I know do myself a disservice. Each breath empties and depletes me.
My mother is ill, and I can do is nothing but watch as she continues to become frail, I feel she has little time left.
The love of my life is a distant dream and I feel as though I've never loved someone soo much and with soo much purity, I wish I could rekindle that.
I miss my grandfather too, I wish he was still here too, I dont want to feel more suffering. I only want peace, for the thoughts to stop, for the pain in my chest, and the sleepless nights to end.
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depression
|
As of late I have been trying to stop obsessively watching YouTube videos all the time, but I have a pretty big problem in terms of my commute too and from school. By default, i watch a bunch of YouTube videos on my phone and that usually leads me to continue doing that for the rest of the day.
If I had my way I’d wait until five o clock to watch YouTube but my commute is more than an hour long so I can’t very well just wait it out. What’s something you do on the bus that’s enjoyable enough to do for a long time but not so much that one can stop whenever they want? For reference, I can use my phone and anything that I can put in my backpack
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ADHD
|
18+ NSFW warning. I’m going crazy..last night I finally got the chance to be with a girl that I’ve been crazy about for awhile now, and when we finally took that step I was so nervous and kept overthinking. It got to the point where I wasn’t enjoying it anymore and I wasn’t able to finish. Now I’m overanalyzing everything.
We sat up and talked about the things we’re into and I thought we’d be compatible but now I’m worried that’s not the case. Pocd started to flair up, and now I’m starting to have hocd and rocd intrusive thoughts even though we’re not even in a relationship.
I don’t sleep around and I’m not into hook ups. It’s actually been over a year since the last time I was with someone and the same exact thing happened with her too.
I like this girl, I want this to work out but the thought keeps coming in my head saying “well just because you want something doesn’t mean you’ll get it.” This sucks because I can’t tell if this is ocd or if we’re not compatible. Weird enough I’m really hoping it’s ocd.
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OCD
|
I'm putting out this post to ask a question and follow it up with a reminder
1. Does anyone else feel their ADHD symptoms are even worse when you drink? Obviously this is rarely if ever done during productive/working hours, but I'm just throwing it out there in terms of times you consume alcohol. For example you'll set the oven to heat up a pizza, remember a song you want to listen on Spotify, stop it halfway between then load up a video game. Or say you're with friends, you're able to recall any memory related to the conversation topic, then someone will ask you to come participate in an activity and you will stop midsentence and go join them. You may not do ANY of these actions but I'm seeing you notice that your unpredictability and your eagerness to take on a new task is heightened. These are common occurrences for me and I'm wondering if anyones feeling the same.
2. Please remember we typically have addictive personalities and it's important to limit ourselves in order to continue leading happy, healthy lifestyles. Drink responsibly!
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ADHD
|
It's like my brain is trying to continually distract itself in attempts to calm down . It gets annoying at times. Usually just a specific part of a song I recently heard looping over and over or a random melody in my head. I used to get it intermittently before the trauma when I was anxious from smoking too much weed or something but since the event it's been a.constant. particularly bad when I'm lying in bed or have just woken up.
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ptsd
|
I heard the thud and the girl who found him scream. I heard the police and the paramedics trying to revive him and saw him being carted out the front door with a sheet. We weren’t close, just said hi here and there if we passed each other. I’m honestly traumatized from hearing everything. Is this a normal response? Am I overreacting? I can hardly sleep, I can’t look at that corner of my living room because I know what happened on the other side. There’s a part of me that is scared as a child would be of a ghost or something like that? There was a glove that the paramedics left in the hallway that I had to ask one of my neighbors if they could get rid of it because I’m scared to go down that hall. Every time I close my eyes I hear the thud and that bloodcurdling scream.
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ptsd
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One of my fears is posting on public forums (like Reddit) I finally felt ready to face it, and thought this was the perfect place! Thanks to this community for making me feel less alone ♥️
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OCD
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How fucking depressing, I literally just need to be shot at this point actually a waste of life
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depression
|
You complaining about everything I do doesn't make me want to do things. I already feel like a burden and you saying everything that I already hate about myself doesn't help. You always complain and you never say anything nice unless I force it out of you. I just want my mom back before I was diagnosed with depression. I'm sorry I'm such a burden but bitching and moaning about everything i do unprovoked wont make me get up and clean my room it just makes me want to burrow deeper into the covers. I just dont want to be lazy anymore and because of that laziness she's not taking me to a party which will be the only human interaction ive had in a year.
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depression
|
I suffer from contamination OCD but I also have a fear of things being tampered with (probably part of the contamination). I ordered a couple of water bottles from Costcos website. When I got them I noticed the seal was a little dirty and when I went to open it from the side, I noticed the entire side of the box was open. It almost looked like someone had opened the side for whatever reason.
I ended up cleaning the water bottles (which is huge because typically I would have thrown them away) but I want to know what people who don’t worry about this would do. Would you just wash and move on? Would you return it? Would you even do anything?
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OCD
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Not really, obviously.
But of course, my brain doesn’t want to listen to logic. No food is fully safe for me these days, and I don’t trust myself when preparing it anymore. Just today I made cooked apples in my new crockpot, but I couldn’t remember if it had been washed, or if the warm water I had rinsed it out with would be enough to cleanse it of anything that would kill me in my sleep. Recipes I’ve always made? Don’t trust it anymore. Everything just feels…unclean and unsafe. Something that used to be fun is now horrifying and makes me afraid to even go to sleep. Jfc this is literally getting exhausting.
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OCD
|
So I was in the military, but at this point had no idea I had ASD. I was in Iraq and my team had rounded up some hostiles and we were holding them at gunpoint. While this was going on, and these men were being searched, I asked "hey can somebody hand me a bottle of water?" Our leader looked at me and said "are you fucking serious!?" I just imagine now how much of an idiot they must have thought I was.
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aspergers
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Had pure ocd since i could remember so really since childhood. 27 now. If i could summarize my experience with this disease it would be one simple sentence: fear of losing control. Fear of losing control over my thoughts and acting upon intrusive thoughts that are the anti thesis of may belief system/identity/sexuality etc. Fear of hurting myself and my loved ones or doing sth compulsively out of the blue that is the exact opposite of my moral code. For now i have been taking high dose zoloft went up to 200 and now back to 100 because i felt very sluggish on that dose. Slight improvement but no radical change or improvement. The thoughts are still there. The anxiety is still there. The crippling anxiety and fear of acting on these absurd thoughts are still there. Just wanted to share my insights and thoughts with people who suffer from the same disease. Also i would like to listen to your personal expereinces wuth ocd and thr treatments you took and how effective they were.
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OCD
|
My experience was terrible middle school I was bullied relentless lee. High school every one treated me like a reatard. I was in special education they never thought me anything. I graduated with a certificate of completion. And I was really really sad about it I even though about suicide which I still am only graduate like a month are two ago. Know I'm trying to get my GED. That is my experience how did it go for you.
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aspergers
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My step mom yells at me for most things I do wrong or things I do that she just doesnt like.
Leaving my windows open with A.c. on (not noticing the a.c. was on because nobody told me)
Borrowing things and not putting it back right after
Leaving my stuff downstairs
Not cleaning the dishes the way she does
Ect ect...
It makes me very sad and I often try to explain to myself why she is doing this but it does nothing to fix the problem. (Just to be clear by yelling I mean saying negative things about me and my personality very loudly). I have ptsd and we have talked about it plenty of times. She can see when she triggers it because her insults get louder and harsher in attempts to break me out of my dissisociation. The mistakes I make are subtle ones that I struggle to notice (clearly) and talking to her won't work. Any tips?
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ptsd
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I guess a couple years ago I started using my left hand over my right, basically completely stop using my right hand in front of people, which obviously stops me being able to function simple tasks like writing infront of people, handing people stuff, eating with knife and fork infront of people, literally so many things now I’m thinking about it.
And then I start having issue with my left side of face so I started tilting my head. Avoiding people on my left side, dancing round so people are on my right. Pulling the my left nose down with stress. And I think I’ve actually got failed speech therapy muscle imbalance in my face so I must have been using right more dominantly because if I hold my mouth and jaw to the left it is more balance.
So maybe I need some speech and muscle exercises. I just think I lived so unaware to then overload of anxiety stress.
Confusion for the people around me because I’d never talk about my insecurities. I remember living with mum and I’d be in the kitchen making a tea and she’d stand on my left and I’d fill with rage like how isn’t she getting that I’m pure uncomfortable with that, I’ve caused so much bad times by ruining atmosphere through relationships. And that’s my fault for not communicating, only a couple weeks ago I told my mum I’d get pissed off when she go on my left, she said she had no idea that was the reason and I was stupid to think it was obvious. I almost do feel have a lot of angry frustration, because I do feel debilitated.
And I was a dumb bitch and got into a relationship and I also don’t seem to for think the fact that I’m not going to bring myself to hold both his hands at the same time. I don’t sit on the right side of the sofa because of my face, if he asks for a lighter that I have in my right hand I’ve got to put in my left to hand it over to him. I wrap my right hand with black bandage 24/7 except showers and dishes but I gotta be alone to do it. I just feel tired and I now feel shit because I gave an image of hope and positivity to someone I’ve now truly disappointed. Is this ocd though I know it’s result from intense insecurity but I have been diagnosed
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OCD
|
Hi everyone!
Ive been diagnosed with ADHD for around a year now and have been on 15mg XR Adderall since then. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist next month and I want to to discuss a dosage increase because my medication isn’t as effective as it once was.
My conversations with my psych are usually brief so I don’t know him well and I’m kind of a noob at this - is it appropriate to bring that up? Thank you!
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ADHD
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