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My ex gf used to give me constant shit about this. She'd call it my manic obsession of the month. I have a really difficult time sticking to things I enjoy.
I haven't touched my guitar in 6 months even tho I really enjoy playing I just don't seem to have the motivation....
I bought sculpture stuff sculpted for 3 months had tons of fun then it just drifted away
This cycle has continued on with the topic shifting
Drawing, painting, making music, hiking, fishing, video games, building model kits, programming, writing, making a board game, cooking, baking, video effects, photography....
I feel like less of a person because I'll never be motivated to become good at any one thing just a superficial understanding of things
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ADHD
|
I had a panic attack at work today, the first one I’ve had in a long time. I don’t know what triggered the flashback but I guess it doesn’t matter.. on top of that I’ve been dealing with a LOT of anxiety lately and I’ve been having a hard time managing it. I felt so in control of my symptoms until my recent move and now I feel like I’m back at square one.
I guess I don’t really know what I’m trying to say. I just don’t have anybody in my life that i feel like i can relate to and I thought I’d come here. Thanks for listening.
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ptsd
|
A huge chunk of NTs care so much about 'making something out of themselves' and having 'status', concepts which almost define the typical adult NT yet are completely alien to my autistic brain. I can understand wanting enough money to buy enough food for a month, to cover bills, to be able to indulge in hobbies that cost money (fortunately most of my hobbies are free; from what I've seen most truly expensive hobbies are more of a flex than anything) and having a few *quality* friends (to some, having lots of friends in addition to having lots of money adds to your 'status'). But why try and earn beyond and above what you actually need and climbing high up the social ladder? My mind doesn't understand it and never has. I just have no drive to seek out 'success' like most NTs do and place way more value in time than in earning giant paychecks, becoming popular / famous or owning a huge home. Many would perceive my lack of desiring these things as flaws and would deem me lazy, but that wouldn't be quite accurate. I just feel that, ultimately, time and freedom matter way more than 'status', which I consider to be meaningless.
Is it that NTs, deep down inside, hope that in achieving these things it'll allow them to be remembered eternally? If so, that's a futile, unrealistic, egotistical endeavor as even the most famous people of today will be forgotten with the passage of time—some even within 100 years.
I like some NTs, but their priorities confuse the hell out of me.
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aspergers
|
I'm proud of the person I tried to be. I'm honestly a good egg. Tried to be educated, tried to give back, tried to help and
mentor younger family members and youth. I live in a world that doesn't respect me and wants to use and hurt me. I have nothing left to prove and wish that I could die immediately.
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depression
|
Every time I go to collage or outside, I have to keep making excuses to go do ocd stuff. I'm getting really tired of having to cover it up. People always ask why my hands are always red sore/bleeding. I'm tired of living with this condition.
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OCD
|
TW: mentions death of family member
I had a nightmare that I’m not sure was caused by my ptsd or not!
A little background: my father passed away tragically and now I have ptsd and nightmares of him dying, or being with him but realizing I can’t see him in real life and it’s devastating. I sometimes wake up crying because they are so confusing and sad.
Last night I dreamt that my brother died and upon finding out my first thought was “great. Now I’m going to dream of him dying and I won’t be able to tell myself it’s all a dream and wake up fine”
Like… how sad is that. I’m so thankful I could wake up and tell myself it was all just a dream, but because I’m so used to waking up and it being my reality, my dream conscious was so convinced my brother was actually dead and it broke my heart.
Anyways, to all who can’t wake up and be relieved “it was all just a dream” my heart goes out to us every single night.
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ptsd
|
I am a porn addict, been masturbating since when I was like 10.
there was this one video, in which the girl would wear school dress, and I would masturbate to it because the girl looked similar to someone my own age. I am pretty sure it is not illegal as it is in one of the most popular tube porn site out there, and I am pretty sure they won't allow any underage, and the video is there for around more then 5 years and can be accessible with a simple google search, and I know google don't allow if the image contained child.
also sometimes, I would watch some videos in which people look younger just because they look similar to my age.
I never thought anything sexually about someone who is below my age range.
but recently I start to obsess what if the girl is underage, and I can't stop thinking about it
I again gone to that video, but this time I cannot masturbate to it because it make me feel very anxious, so much that I got a chronic pain, just with the thought that the girl in the video might be an innocent underage girl.
but this further increased my uncertainty as I saw some one in the reddit said that your attraction won't lose, this just makes no sense, as when I imagine the girl as underage, I have no desire to masturbate and getting anxiety, but I was previously masturbated to that video
also did I mentioned that the video is one of the most popular video on that site.
now when ever I see something that looks like underage, I am asking questions like will you have sex with them, which gives me again chronic pain.
thanks again if you took your time to read this post.
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OCD
|
My mind is very cloudy. Writing is a grind. I feel like nothing I say flows well. I apologize if this is hard to read.
[When I was 14 I got sexually involved with a man in his 40s.](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/85qtwh/my_ex_tattooed_my_name_on_his_arm_after_i_left/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) He abused and harassed me for 10 years. It’s over now, but I’m 25. A quarter of my life is gone and I’m nowhere. I had plans. I had dreams. I don’t believe I’ll ever be able to achieve them. I have no grit; my core is weak. The world is incredibly competitive and cold. I’m no match for it. I’m a loser.
I don’t like to blame other people for my problems. I don’t believe that my abuser made me a loser. I take complete ownership for my life, so I blame myself for everything.
It’s difficult to find motivation to push forward. I’m too far behind. My future feels as murky and undefined as my past. I don’t want to compare myself to the people around me, but I know that the people closest to me judge me. I recently confided with my best friend who accused me of over-exaggerating my pain. I feel like my therapist felt the same way. I want to fight them, but I can’t... what if they’re right? Maybe I’m just a lousy person.
I don’t feel comfortable around anyone. I can’t get comfortable in my own mind. Sometimes it feels like other people can read my mind. I can’t relax. I feel like my chest is exposed. I feel dirty. Everything is dirty.
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ptsd
|
Hi people.
I've struggled with many types of OCD for about a year now (most recent one being Schizocd - not fun lol). I've recently formed a new obsession in the form of BPD OCD - i.e. I think I might have BPD. My BPD 'symptoms' include:
\- uncertainty about my identity as a person (i.e. I'm not sure what kind of person I am / my beliefs are not particularly rigid)
\- I've always exhibited attention and approval-seeking behaviour (not too much, mainly doing loads of stupid things to get attention from peers). I also daydream frequently about situations where I am getting attention and approval.
\- I don't really have any strong opinions about anything and am quite prone to swaying to different views.
\- I have mood swings, where I go from a feeling of emptiness to a state of confidence and feeling energetic (albeit these swings are not particularly violent ones).
​
I'm not looking for reassurance. Instead I was wondering if anyone has been through a similar obsession (if it's an obsession at all and not just me realising I have yet another mental disorder). If so, how did you deal with it?
​
Many thanks))
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OCD
|
my therapist believes that every ocd theme that people fear comes from one core fear, and basically you won’t develop a theme if it doesn’t relate to that fear. for me, it kinda adds up, i deal with pocd, moral scrupulosity ocd, and i’ve had relationship ocd, and way back i think i used to have hocd. she thinks my core fear is being hated/not loved/not liked by others. i can see how it fits for most of my themes, but i don’t know if that’s universal for everyone. has anyone heard this from an ocd therapist before? she’s made a few untrue assumptions about me, so im not sure if i trust her judgement completely haha. i’d like to hear anyone’s thoughts on this or whether or not they can relate to this.
|
OCD
|
Hi all! I was wondering if anyone could recommend a good ADHD coach who can meet online, or if anyone has another tip that works for executive dysfunction? I have a good job and have done ok for myself, but I feel like I am in a rut. I end up with a lot of free time in my day, and rather than doing anything productive, I put it off as long as I can in favor of more immediately "gratifying" things, which has been extremely detrimental to my well-being overall. I end up completing things at the very last minute. Sometimes I just lay in my bed and am screaming at myself to get up and do something, but almost feel frozen and unable to accomplish the things that I want to do. I am working on my anxiety, which felt like it might be a factor, but even with that out of the way I'm still not the person that I would like to be. I know that there is so much that I could accomplish if only I could get out of my own way and let myself do it. I think it would be helpful to have someone trained in the field helping me to find purpose, help me set my goals and break them down in achievable, individual "parts", and check in with me periodically and give me actionable steps I can take to work towards my goals. I do have medication that I take, but I strongly believe that medication alone without external, professional guidance is an incomplete solution. I feel like I am stuck in a bubble, looking at all the things I can do/ have and who I can be, but I'm trapped and struggling to get there, and would like some help, if that makes sense. TIA for any suggestions!
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ADHD
|
(M 22) Back when I was 19-20 years old, I on was on dating apps more frequently. Constantly looking for dating advice, I went on a dating forum look for tips on how to use these apps. I posted an image of two girls dating profiles on this forum (one girl that I matched with and one that I didn’t). I guess at the time I was really excited that a girl that I matched with was interested in me based on our convos we were having (I was sheltered growing up so I never really got a chance to go on dates). However about a week later we were talking less and eventually she ghosted. I was upset but got over it and haven’t thought much about it since then. At this point in my life, I knew I had OCD for about year and half now.
Fast forward 3 years later, and I’ve learned so much more about life and who I am as a person. I started getting more involved in social causes in college and studying activism, thus becoming more aware of my actions as a man. This week I was emotionally distraught due to something going on in my family which led to me going back to my computer to try and relax. While searching my computer I found the old tinder profiles I posted and immediately got triggered. I realized I didn’t censor their names (though there was no personal information in their bio) and that because I used Imgur links to post the photos on the forum, I didn’t realize at the time I uploaded them publicly and anonymously on Imgur. So these photos had a few hundred views (though no comments) which only makes more worried about what has happened. I’ve since deleted that account, deleted the photos on that forum and got the images removed off Imgur.
But I’m still worried about this after the fact. What if the images are still out there? Even if this can’t get traced back to me, what if I’ve ruined these peoples lives? Would all the work I’ve done to get involved with social issues even matter since I did this? Did I do something worthy of being cancelled for?
I’ve even thought about posting my Tinder profile on Imgur to make it even. Growing up I always was considered the “good kid” and it was a label I tried to live up to my whole life and I always tried to make the right decisions. I’ve never tried to act out of line. And now honestly with my OCD I can’t tell if I did enough due to sheer level of guilt. I feel as though I sexually harassed these people even though I’ve never even met them in person. This past week I’ve felt as though the whole weight of the world is on me for what I have done. I’m sorry for this long post but I just need some advice. Thank you.
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OCD
|
Ok so I’m struggling with POCD currently. Over the last few days this girl has appeared on my Instagram. She looked young like around 13 (I’m 17 btw). Now...her name said 17 in her username so I thought she was 17 and just looked younger. I thought her face looked kinda cute and pretty and I was a little anxious about her looking young but I thought “whatever, 13 year olds aren’t really gonna be on Instagram making videos. She appeared again on my Instagram so I looked at her bio again IT SAID SHES FREAKING 12 ALMOST 13!!! I immediately felt my stomach sink and I blocked her afterwards so I never see her again. I’m worried because even after I knew she was 12 I looked at her as a compulsion and still thought she looked Kinda like cute or pretty. I’m freaking scared because I kinda liked how her face looked but I didn’t know she was 12. WHY ARE 12 YEAR OLDS SHOWING THEIR FACE ON AN APP OMG IM FREAKING OUT. Can anyone help me calm down?????
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OCD
|
Before you knew your flashbacks were flashbacks, what did you think was happening?
I thought I had nightmares the first few times, incredibly realistic nightmares and I just woke up super disoriented.
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ptsd
|
I am a high school senior and have been dating my boyfriend for almost two years. I love him very much and truly hope to be together long term. Throughout our relationship he has struggled with PTSD and anxiety related to abuse he endured/saw his mom endure from his father. Because of that very minor thungs I do seem overwhelming to him.
I have worked very hard to examine myself and my behaviors to not trigger him and be supportive through panic attacks. He had a week of doing super well then a few days where absolutely spiralled, his horrible pnic attacks he hadnt experienced for months resurfaced and je mentioned suicide. Then out of nowhere I got upset about something and overreacted and he just broke up with me.
We have a very honest relationship, I always know about his thoughts of self harm and understand his panic attacks more than anyone else so this was shocking. I believe he did it out of panic.
Since then for about a week we have not discussed what happened or seen each other so he could have space, except for him texting once to say he loves me.
I really want to maybs take a break as he is just starting therapy so he can take care of himself but I have no idea where his mind is it and he says he isnt ready to talk.
I am physically sick from pain, I also have abandonment issues so this is incredibly painful. I feel like im loosing my soul mate even though I worked so hard to be supportive. Does anyone have insight on what us going on and if our relationship might be able to continue in a ew months? Did he just stop loving me overnight? I know that cant be true but it feels that way.
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ptsd
|
Whenever I make eye contact in public and someone's eyes grow big I get a rush of adrenaline. How do I calm down?
|
ptsd
|
"If you give a mouse a cookie, he's going to ask for a glass of milk.
When you give him the milk, he'll probably ask you for a straw.
When he's finished, he'll ask you for a napkin.
Then he'll want to look in a mirror to make sure he doesn't have a milk mustache. When he looks in the mirror he might notice his hair needs a trim and he will ask you for a pair of nail scissors.
When he's finished giving himself a trim, he'll want a broom to sweep up. He'll start sweeping. He might get carried away and sweep every room in the house! He may even end up washing the floors as well..."
My 4 year olds favorite book right now. I'd read it years ago but hadnt read it since finding out I was ADHD. Gave me a good laugh to read all the way through. Mouse must be ADHD!
(Wasn't sure which flair to choose so hope this one is ok)
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ADHD
|
Does anyone else have a high sex drive? Things ended with the guy I was seeing a few months ago and I’m really struggling with not being able to have sex. I don’t like sex toys and I’m not someone to sleep around, masturbating just isn’t cutting it. What do you do?
I have no intention of sleeping around but it starts to physically hurt after a while, particularly when I’m ovulating. I’m like a damn cat on heat lol. The two times I was actually attracted to someone and in a relationship who had high sex drives, they cheated so I just feel like I’m at my wits end.
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aspergers
|
For the past year i've been absorbed into MMA, trying to work out how an Aspie can get into the social and buisness side is a nightmare.
Anyway, do you guys think your AS prevents your future dreams/goals? Helps acheive them? Or anything else?
For me the world of MMA is that it is an Art, you are the painter and only you. The mistake you make are yours and yours only. There is very little room for anyone to dictate your 'art' which I love. Also I have a very high pain threshold (due to the AS? if someone could clarify that would be great). Being able to hyperfixate & put mind over matter is of huge amounts, I can do the same thing for hours with no fault.
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aspergers
|
Hey guys,
I really think that I have aspergers even tho I am undiagnosed. All my life, I have been known as “awkward.” Never had any real friends K-12. Didn’t have any real friends until university and even now it’s just a couple. I have maybe 3.
Always known as a book smart person but am a very clumsy and uncoordinated person. I have very poor fine motor skills and speed skills, so I struggled with things like ball sports and fast food food prep. Also, I am a pretty intelligent person with a 130 IQ and was always a strong student K-12.
I have been very depressed lately and even had to take a semester off school to deal with my depression and get on a medication for it (lexapro). I’m studying accournatcy which I think will fit me because of aspergers and I enjoy business. I just worry I’ll inevitably be one of those aspie neets that falls through cracks. Also, I have obsessive interests, like right now I’m obsessed with learning about AI. Scared accointing will be automated.
Sorry guys I just feel like a failure for gettinf fired from a stupid burger redtaurant and worry I’ll never properly be integrated into society . Already 21.
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aspergers
|
I‘m on “Medikinet Adult” which is produced by a German pharmaceutical company. I guess there is no direct equivalent for it in the U.S. but it contains Methylphenidate with 1/2 IR and 1/2 ER pellets. After half a year I feel that it’s not as effective for me with my adhd order as before. There is still the “kicking in” effect but it wears off relatively quickly even it’s meant to be working for more than 7 hours with my 30 mg dosage (60 mg is max. for adults while there are also 5 mg capsules for instance). The mechanism of action is different to concerta (which is also available in Germany) so the most similar thing in the U.S. might be Ritalin LA.
My question is:
Are here any people that switched from MPH to Vyvanse (and maybe also back) and could describe the “felt” differences between these meds? Is there the same kicking in effect? Is it more subtle? How do you notice that it works with your ADHD? What are sour experiences and what dosage do you take?
That would be very helpful for me as Vyvanse is available in Germany but it’s not that common and even often doctors don’t know about that. I guess that with ADHD and respective meds the U.S. are far ahead compared with Germany.
Thank you very much.
|
ADHD
|
Hi. I've been dealing with depression for awhile but recently (maybe about 3 weeks?) I had been feeling a lot better.
But now all of a sudden I've started regressing. For the last 2 days I'm suffering from extreme procrastination. I find it hard to start even the simplest of tasks. I can't even do the things that I should be able to enjoy (like playing games on my pc).
I don't know where this is coming from as I was feeling relatively fine just a few days ago. Is there anything I can do to help me out of this predicament?
|
depression
|
fuck that shit. I hope y'all haven't been traumatized in the same way I've been but I'm so done looking at shit. it takes so much will to not look at one you've heard ab but haven't seen I've managed to pass on a few I've heard about. but Ive made so many mistakes at the same time
|
OCD
|
Im not depressed, i just dont want to be alive anymore. And if i kill myself i can be free
|
depression
|
I’m literally going insane. All day today my fingertips have felt greasy and weird. Rubbing my fingers against each other makes me want to throw up because of the texture. I can’t touch anything. I’ve been washing my hands and I even went and bought a new phone case.
Someone please help me I don’t know what’s going on. I can’t touch anything.
|
OCD
|
If anything, these sorts of feelings only get worse and worse as time goes by. There's no such thing as rock bottom, just one layer after another that crumbles beneath you the farther down you go in what is essentially just a bottomless pit. It's mind boggling how pathetically crappy my life is. How I wish I had been an abortion or, better yet, never been conceived at all.
|
depression
|
I always find myself watching or reading terrible news that depress me, playing online games like CSGO that are so hard and highly competitive they make me feel miserable, and engaging with insensitive idiots online. I feel like I have too little energy to invest on my hobbies in art and cooking, or even do things that I actually enjoy like immersing myself in books and films. I'm a mediocre IT bachelor graduate who quit her job a year ago, so I feel like I'm obliged to find a new job and learn coding online, which is honestly not something I'm remotely fond of yet I'm not sure what better things I could be doing instead because I have zero confidence in my art and cooking skills and zero patience to invest my time in them seriously, if I compare myself to others. I'm always conflicted on whether I actually have passion in something or not, because it seems to me everyone else around me who has a profession in their passion spends hours everyday on their passions.
I wish I didn't have to indulge myself in negative thoughts just to feel excited and less bored. I wish I had enough energy, courage, and confidence to devote myself on something that actually makes me happy. Does anyone else have this problem? Especially those who mistakenly took a computer science degree, expecting an easy life in an air conditioned room working and sipping hot chocolate all day and get paid for it, failing at it, and hating themselves for it lol. Could there be a way out of this? Thanks for yall support in advance, even just seeing others sharing their experience makes me feel happier.
|
ADHD
|
(f14) hi so i started showing symptoms of ocd about two months ago. a month ago i was diagnosed with severe ocd, started therapy, and started zoloft. for all of this time i have always hated the thoughts and wanted them to just go away. but these past few days i feel like i do like the thoughts and that i want to act on them. i have no history of psychopathy or sadist so i’m not sure where all of this came from but i am almost positive this is not the ocd anymore. i think i really do want to hurt people. i feel like the only way to prevent people from getting hurt is to kill myself so i am going to do it. i just wanted to come on here to rant and say that all the time that i have come on this subreddit everyone has always been so nice and accepting and has always answered my questions. so thank you
|
OCD
|
I'm from New Zealand so in high school we have short andomg answer exams and tests but now at uni many tests and exams are all or mostly multi choice.
I find that I'm really bad at multi choice tests and always misread the question, so.....
Is this an adhd thing?
If yes what are some strategies to overcome this?
|
ADHD
|
One I met this guy who was a fellow skater like me and younger, but we got along nicely. Sometime later when my senior year of high school had started in August 2019. I had texted him because I have not texted him for a while and he asks who I am. I was confused since he should remember me. So a few times during my high school year I waved my hand at him and said hello, but he just looked at me and turned his head away. Even at the skatepark sometimes when he was there he ignored my greeting. I think it could have been possibly me following him one time when he and I were done at our skate session at a park. He was angry that he couldn't land his tricks and so he went home and I followed him out of confusion. Maybe it was that, but he did apologize for the way he acted later on. Maybe it was my fault or I had made a blunder in my socialization?
|
aspergers
|
The more I try fighting these memories, the more they come up. Idk what to do, and it makes me feel like they’re never gonna go away for good. I did some stupid things as a teen and it seems like they always come back to haunt me. I try telling myself that I didn’t know better, but they make me feel shameful and gross and that people would make fun of me if they knew. What should I do? I’m tired of them.
|
OCD
|
So I have this tiny lump by my nipple. It moves around and is kinda squishy-ish. I went to the doctor for it in October and they told me it was just a cyst with protein or blood trapped inside it but if it didn’t disappear or get smaller by March to get in touch with chewing back. It’s April and IM starting to get worried. I have diagnosed OCD and it’s hard for me to not mess with it. I showed it to a family member and they think it’s gotten smaller but if I maneuver it a certain way, it’s seems like the same size to me. I honestly don’t know what to do because I don’t feel any different and even tho I noticed it in October, it was really a by chance occurrence so for all I know it could have always been there. There are many times where I feel over there and wouldn’t even know it was there unless I tried to find it. Thanks
|
OCD
|
Like idk when I'm under much stress/heavy anxiety, I become very snappy and just sad or angry deep inside because of how anxious/stressed I am. Today like, it really wasn't big deal but my sister said some things and I got so angry for some reason and snapped. I felt super guilty and apologized afterwards... Then quickly realized that I wasn't really angry at her but more at myself. Angry and mad at how anxious and stressed I am over these intrusive thoughts, angry that I need to deal with this everyday. I guess I just snapped when even the most minimal trigger offered a chance for that anger to be let out.
​
Thinking about it, maybe that also explains why I keep crying randomly over the smallest triggers. I don't think I was upset by that trigger in itself but more because it pricked or gave an opportunity for that kinda underlying sadness over me being constantly anxious and all that burden kinda letting itself out.
​
God, OCD sucks.
|
OCD
|
In the past couple of days, I have been ruminating as much as I did back in 2017 when I officially got diagnosed. Locking up myself in my room just so I can ruminate in peace for hours. This drains my energy whenever I talk to my girlfriend of 5 years. She has been always so supportive and it tears me up knowing how heavy she has to carry my problems along with me.
I have relationship OCD, it pisses me off as to why the most important thing for me has to be the focus of my OCD. It has been ruining my relationship. I don't want to kill myself but if there was an opportunity where I'd get caught in an accident, I will happily take it.
|
OCD
|
Hello,
I would like to make a to-do list to give me a better start to my days at work.
I have an office job and I am a team manager (3 people + me). I've done some research online, but the to-do lists are so general that it's not effective, for example:
1. doing more sport with work colleagues,
2. thinking about my work environment
I would like a more concrete list, so here is my list:
1. Check my calendar for any event
2. Listen to voice messages
3. Sort unread emails
4. Prepare and write the 3 main tasks of my day
5. Update my files
6. ...
7. ...
Can you give me any suggestions?
PS: Sorry for my english, I'm french !
|
ADHD
|
I’ve been suffering with biting the lip skin and finger skin for years and years now. I’ve spoke to a doctor who said they couldn’t help me and I can’t find any lip balms that taste bad enough to stop me biting.. I’m now becoming and mom and really want to tackle this issue..
|
OCD
|
I got diagnosed with ptsd a couple of months ago from military trauma from training and rescue operations. I don't feel like I should have been diagnosed with ptsd honestly. I never wanted to seek help, but I had to after unfortunate events. After the first few sessions with mental health doc, my emotions have been fluxing like crazy. I usually don't get sad, but now I get sad at things I normally never did beforehand and when I feel this sadness I get mad at myself. When friends and family care for me, once that I have told these things to, I feel like they are against me and I can't trust them. Is this all normal? My doc is pushing further into my trauma and I'm scared I'll go further into my anger with the ones I care about.
|
ptsd
|
My partner is depressed. When he actually talks it about he says things like I can’t wait for death, it would be great if I could get run over. Only when he is really low though, sometimes he just asks normal.
|
depression
|
I am newly diagnosed at age 52, and just started taking Vyvanse. So far, I am very happy with it. The best way I can describe it is that I find it easier to be myself. I don’t feel like there is a barrier in my brain. I can also focus most of the day without getting brain fog.
In your experience, is it a good idea to take “breaks” from the meds (e.g. on weekends), or take it consistently every day?
|
ADHD
|
I have to get this off my chest because I feel like I’ve been bottling emotions for a while. I feel weird. I feel awkward. Throughout school I was isolated for most of my life. I had no friends. Like zero. And it was all because I was a person of color. I was an immigrant and I had bad English. I used to get bullied in school and I had trouble speaking up for myself so people took advantage of that. It destroyed my self esteem and caused me so much mental health issues. I just feel awkward when I try talking to a person that isn’t of south Asian descent. I have race biases in my mind. Is this normal? Like I feel awkward doing something new like watching a netflix series. Because it’s just so white. Idk. I’m always on edge. It’s hard for me.
|
ptsd
|
I’m noticing I have a strong preference for paper planning and bookkeeping. I’m convinced this is connected to my ADHD. I was worrying about money constantly, and then I used an old-school double-entry ledger to figure out everything that I have going on. And it was *such* a relief. Anyone had this experience or maybe the opposite experience? It’s kind of a bummer because I have a hard time *keeping up with the paper* but I hate using anything that isn’t paper….
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ADHD
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Hi everyone
My gf was diagnosed 2 months ago or so after we had a hint she might have ADHD as she took an amphetamine (2fma) while finishing her MSc thesis (that she's been struggling with for years) and for the first time she "felt normal". Her head was quiet, the thoughts that attack her were gone and she could sit down and focus for hours at hand. She's also struggled for a long time with generalized anxiety.
She was started on Concerta and got off after a couple of weeks because of side effects and no positive. Also worth mentioning that with the study drugs she tried - phenidate based ones didn't work but amphetamines did - but the protocol here in Denmark dictates that you start with Methylphenidate.
Then she got switched to Elvanse (Vyvanse) 20mg for 2 weeks and she felt basically no effects (She needs typically higher doses of "things" than me - so I guess her body metabolizes things faster or her ADHD is severe).
Now she's been upped to 40mg for almost 2 weeks and although she now felt improved motivation and focus (though it stops sometimes in the early/mid afternoon) - she has also been more "on hedge" emotionally (she's already very sensitive at baseline) and her anxiety is also increased. The interesting thing is that she's not gotten that "quiet" in her head and she's still attacked by her thoughts, unlike what she got from that (fluorinated) amphetamine during her thesis period. Also sleep (which she always struggled with) maybe became a bit worse - as she didn't get that the quiet head feeling.
Do you guys have any similar experiences? Tips? Thoughts? Why might it be that Elvanse/Vyvanse didn't help with quieting her head whereas the Fluoromethamphetamine did? Could it be that increasing the dose might be what she needs to start getting quiet? Or is it more likely that she'll get just more anxiety only?
Maybe the Fluoromethamphetamine is more similar to adderall and thereby her brain chemistry would do better with that or a dex-amphetamine? Although lisdex are converted into destro-
Appreciate this community so much! It has already helped us a ton in her journey.
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ADHD
|
So like I've stated in the title, it was my birthday and I got shitfaced to the point I don't remember any of it. It was in a different city away from my home, a friend and I got the train there. Basically from 3pm til 7pm (when I was back on the train) I have no recollection of what I did during this time. My friend was with my for the most part but she said at one point I wandered off and I took multiple trips to the bathroom. Now of course my OCD is telling me I injected drugs (which I've never done or wanted to do) or took some illegal substance and now I've got HIV. This is because I have a spot on my leg that looks like an injection mark. My OCD is also telling me that I posted my sex tape to Instagram and everyone saw it before I deleted it and also that I stripped naked in the bar or did some other weird sexual thing in front of everyone? I feel humiliated and mortified cause there's no way I can know for sure these things didn't happen. I wish I could turn back time. Really hate myself right now.
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OCD
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I am tired of that life, it becomes more unbearable by hours, not even by days. I do not know what to do and how to sort myself out.
I may soon become homeless, yet again. And this is winter, and what is worse, this is the 3rd world country where I can not rely on public services at all.
My parents heavily neglected and abused me my whole life, even before I was born my mother did many things to herself while being pregnant. I was constantly abused mentally and beaten physically. Both of my parents were alcoholics, and they divorced when I was 2, so then I used to live with one of them, until they fucking toss me like a ball to one another. I was beaten not only by my parents, but also by their partners, female and male mother's and father' partners respectively.
My health needs were neglected, basically I have not received proper medical treatments many times in my life. Because of that I have some chronic conditions. There was one time, when my parents refused to pay for the medical bills (they could afford it) when I had pneumonia, and the only thing that saved me were 100$ that I managed to save up in cash. One time I was walking in a park, and wild dog has bitten me, and my parents refused me to take me to the doctor so he would give me rabies shots. At least two times, thus, I was at a point of death.
Due to abuse I am a social outcast. My soft skills suck a lot. I was heavily bullied back in school, sometimes to the point of physical humiliation. I had never had someone to talk to, like a good acquaintance, yet alone real friend. I am feeling lonely, and it is a wonder that I have even managed to get a GF with whom I had been for almost a year now. My parents did not look for me during childhood, so when I was 8, an adolescent boy (14) sneaked me into his house and almost molested me. He threatened me with knife, but his grandad returned home and I managed to escape.
My parents kicked me out of a house 4 times, mother to dad, dad to mother and again and again. The first time at 11, then at 14, than at 17, and than at 19. At 17 I have tried to settle myself independently. I rent a room and worked two jobs — 14 hours/day as a waiter for 2$/day wage (guests rarely had given me tips), and after commute to home I ate my food and used to write articles for money on a freelance basis. That was hell. My room was small, I lived with bedbugs and no proper hygiene. Almost everyone at my job did drugs (even heavy), or drank alcohol on a daily basis.
I want also to mention that I am not a drug or alcohol user (I was drunk like 7 times in my lifetime), and that I was working on freelance since I turned 15, so I paid my part of the existence while living with parents. Nonetheless, they just continued to kick me out of the house. Even though they had their own new families, those houses were inherited by them and both grandmothers told them that at least a part of these must be mine. They never listened.
At 19, half a year ago, my mother kicked me out of the house. Her husband almost destroyed my laptop, my only mean of production and entertainment. I had some money so I rent the cheapest apartment available in my city. My grandmother asked my father to help me out, and he started to give me some money in exchange for working on him (in internet). His wife did not allow him to give the money, and he continued to abuse my so I just told him all the truth in my soul. He told me that I am a "used condom"....
I am completely alone, and no one will help me. I lived half-starving for the last six months. My freelance fucked up because while I was seeking apartment after mother kicked me out, my clients left me because of losing the schedule and wrote me bad comments so reputation is fucked. I can't stand local job, no way. I tried internship as a worker in local ISP, but guys in there work from 8 am till, well, maybe 8 pm if they are lucky, but more like 10 pm on a weekly basis. And all jobs here are like this, if you do not have connections or a degree, and the latter I could not get for obvious reasons.
My GF does not support me truly, but I won't blame her. She just can't contemplate the idea of my living conditions and possible outcomes. She says I must go to work, and that I may be homeless because of my mistakes. Seriously, I have been trying to earn stable money distantly, but it did not work and I had only minor successes. Two months ago I asked my GF jokingly what would we do if I became homeless. Well, she told we will break up.
What is more uneven is that my dad is kinda rich and he has many luxurious items, 500 square feet house etc. He has also a second house which he owns, and it is being rented for fucking 2/3 of the market price by some dudes who are not even our relatives. My problem could be solved so easily, and yet I am suffering from malnutrition and may be homeless in 18 days. I barely managed to pay rent this month and I do not have money for food. My credit card is almost at zero credit money left too.
To be honest, I do not see any point in all of these now. I could find some shitty job and slave away myself for 15 dollars a day, but work conditions are unbearable for an individual with problems like me. I can't see myself working 12+ hours and then going to sleep, just to repeat the cycle, bust to pay my rent for another day of such pathetic existence. What is even the point? I do not think I could break it, and I do not think I could tolerate that also.
Every day I am constantly baffled with my life. I want revenge, then I want suicide, then again revenge on those who have wronged me. I am not even afraid of the homelessness anymore, yet it is still life-threatening without welfare in 3rd world country.
Fuck this I am so tired. There were no Christmas or Birthdays in last 10 years when I have not cried. I just want to be needed, not to feel neglected. I want to be protected by someone at least once in my life, but every day I just concrete myself in the thought that perhaps I will always be alone, in the sense of not being understand and accepted by another human being. I don't feel fear now, just tired.
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depression
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it’s been a while since i was here… i can’t say i missed it. there’s no easing into it really. i fell in love with someone who won’t ever meet me again, and now that i’ve seen what happiness actually is i don’t think i can continue to live like i used to. i don’t want to continue. i came close to this point god knows how many times before but it never felt this real before. i know they say time heals everything but i don’t want it to. the truth is he was the only one that i’ve ever felt happy with and i don’t want to live chasing the shadow of that. i’ve learned happiness is a drug and makes people desperate like they never thought they’d be. see id do anything just to see him once more. though i know it will never happen so i i’ll just wait here till the memories consume me and i finally pull the trigger i’ve delayed for too long. i know this makes no sense but it’s hard to think clearly when you’ve been crying for who knows how long. take care of your loved ones folks. it really is hard to be loved these days.
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depression
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I'd be interested to hear from an aspie's point of view if it's as stressful as everyone says. I mean, I already feel tired from existing, I wouldn't want an even more exhausting career.
I'm going into theoretical physics. Anyone in a similar field??
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aspergers
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For awhile I ordered things like DVDs, video games, and jewelry from Ebay in the past 3/4 years. If there was something I missed having that I have away along time ago, I would search high and low into I found whatever I was looking for on EBay. I would focus on buying from 5 star sellers and asking questions. Mostly all the orders I’ve made were shipped. A few times I didn’t receive orders because they either got lost in the mail or the sellers made up excuses. I was able to get refunds. From those past experiences, I’ve deactivated my EBay account because it was getting too repetitive and annoying of going through phases of buying on their, plus also so I wouldn’t get scammed. Plus some of the images of things I wanted to buy would stay in my head, especially the stock photos.
Every time I hear something about eBay I get annoyed. Like if I’m googling images, sometimes I see pictures sellers from eBay post and I just automatically scroll past and just wish there was a way to block EBay from Google so that it doesn’t tempt me. I still haven’t used eBay since because of how triggering it can be.
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OCD
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A little background I have cptsd from CSA (im sixteen now but that happened when I was 6-11)
And my dad is in the military and i have seen him in a while (he was NOT my abuser)
Anyways I haven't been able to see my dad for a while because he's in another country right now. I miss him a lot and today I put on his old dog tags that I have to kinda keep him close. And today at lunch my friend point out the i was wearing the dog tags and started making these ptsd jokes and like maybe the first one was funny but he just kept making these jokes and it triggered me and god he's just such an idiot I told him to stop at one point but he wouldn't so I just the tags off and put them in my pocket
And I think he picked up that i was bothered by the jokes and I cant tell him about my ptsd im not embarrassed about it but I go to a small school and I don't trust most people anymore
Also he's a good person he's just stupid and I feel like if he found out what happened to me he would act different and treat me like glass and that would suck
I hope he doesn't say anything because if does I might tell him
We also go to a christian school and im not super religious but a lot of people there are and I can not under any circumstance having the sliver of the possibility of any of past getting out at my school
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ptsd
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Unsure weather it’s got anything to do with going onto meds however I have realised… That after going onto my meds but my anxiety literally disappeared which was amazing but, I realised a week or two later that I had been met with a wall of feeling depressed? I know what depression feels like so I knew very quickly what it was but then also a lot of anger like I’ve never been an angry person however I think that’s now come back to bite me I feel like everything that I should have been pissed off at over the years (serious things that I let slide) have just come right back up now don’t get me wrong I’m (m) 23 and love the gym so it’s perfect for that as I’ve never lifted like I am now but I don’t like that I feel like I need to go to release my anger and frustration I liked when I was going to better myself. Sometimes I feel it’s a bit much for me like I’m just going to pop any ideas? Any one had similar experiences?
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ADHD
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I just wanted to vent, like I usually do around here... When I get better at managing things (hopefully by the time I'm 25... that's my current realistic aim and I'm 19) maybe I'll be the one dishing out advice.
My themes currently is social media. I've been using it a lot lately due to boredom (nothing much to do atm) and to check up on old friends. Social media has always been a minefield for me because of social anxiety but it has become a significant OCD theme and it sucks big time. It forces me to delete conversations because I feel they did not go "perfectly". I've managed to resist one whole day but I couldn't do it tonight.
I deleted two of my conversations with some of my best mates. Messages and pictures... memories from 5+ years have been deleted from my account. At least I can sleep without panicking now, but it really sucks and has made me very sad.
Has anybody gone through similar obsessions? Considering how social media already causes problems for neurotypicals, it must be a trigger for many of us sufferers.
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OCD
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I'd like to participate more in a politics-themed Discord and talk to normies about the hot issues of the day. Many times I'll encounter two or three people, being observed by at least 8 or 9, talking through some issue. They'll make a few points, touch on a topic I have some interest in, and... they just keep on talking. Then the other fellow keeps talking. It feels like everything is happening too fast, and I have no idea how to interject. (Or even how to assess whether anyone WANTS to hear what I have to say!) **Ok, gang, what am I missing?**
This is one manifestation of a situation I see play out in other situations such as family gatherings or some social events. I can't get a word in edgewise.
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aspergers
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(sorry for bad english)
at this point I'm 97% sure I have ADHD and Autism.
I just don't think I could handle the emotions of someone not believing me if I ask for a diagnosis.
I'm feminine presenting, and i know how to "act properly" around medical professionals and I feel like this gives me a disadvantage as women are notoriously misdiagnosed.
I am scared to be misdiagnosed or seen as looking for attention, exaggerating etc.
(TW: ED, ANA)
Last year I was diagnosed with anorexia, and everyone told me it was because of hating how I looked and all the usual stereotypes related to the illness. To make sense of what was happening, I took that on board, and soon started to hate my body and the way my weight fluctuated.
But I don't think what I was told was true at all. I really think I became anorexic because of ADHD. I would sit for hours just staring at the wall wanting to make dinner but I just couldn't do it. And with sensitivity to different food textures, it made it hard to finish a meal. In addition I was living in share accommodation and was nervous to use the kitchen as I didn't like to interact with my very extroverted housemates.
I guess this was just a vent/rant about our somewhat broken Medical system. I feel that people just don't pay enough attention. It's like we all know what's going on but people just want to go by the books that haven't been updated since the 90s.
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ADHD
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So I have this fear and it kind of sticks with me. I remember some of the dumb things i did like masturbate in class or bump into a girls butt. I am grown up from some of these things and I was a teenage when all of this way happening. However, I feel a great deal of guilt of being found out and then being thought of as a creep. I tell some of my friends and they tell me to let my fears go and that it was so far in the past and no one caught you.
I now obsess over these moments and how bad they were
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OCD
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It's 3:27 am
I feel trouble, fuckin depressed and empty
Nothing makes sense to me, I'm not interested in anything anymore
There is no one in my life,no friends no girls no pet
No sexual activity,i changed my hair color to feel better about myself again nothing
(Not awesome at English explain easily)
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depression
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Hey all, the title of this post may sound dramatic - heck, even misleading, but it isn’t and I *need* help.
So, when playing video games, I feel like I *have* to see/understand/process everything that is taking place on my screen. I also feel like I *have* to play games in a “certain” way in order for me to maximise my experience. Now I know this sounds absurdly mental, and maybe it is, but it is a very real problem for me and is significantly affecting me mentally, notably because gaming is a hobby and I can’t get anything out of it right now.
To give you an example, I am currently playing The Last of Us Part II on PS5 and I have put ~28 hours into it as of today, and I am yet to make it more than around 7/8 hours into the story without deleting my save and restarting the game from the beginning.
The reason(s) why I do this are because I might miss a bit of dialogue, or control Ellie or Abby (the playable characters) in a way where my brain feels like they wouldn’t “act” that way in-universe. Another reason why I might do this is as I said earlier, it could be a gameplay segment or cutscene where I don’t capture every detail in my mind, so it feels like I’ve missed out.
I am especially envious of those that play games and upload footage of them on YouTube as they seem to play through a game without restarting with absolutely no qualms and yet seem to get the most out of a game, process all the information fine and “maximise” their experience.
Realistically, what can I do to stop this debilitating behaviour and start enjoying games again? I spent £1300 on a TV and £450 on a PS5, not to mention the HUGE backlog of games that I have, yet will not get through due to the problem I have going on... It just seems like a huge waste of money when in fact I’d love nothing more than to play these games and enjoy these gadgets.
I literally cannot understand why I can’t get over it. For what it’s worth, I am / used to be like this with movies and TV shows, where I would constantly rewind to “understand” what was going on and not miss out on anything.
I would love to hear if anybody else out there has dealt with this and/or if anyone has any words of wisdom.
Thank you in advance and apologies for the long post!
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OCD
|
So, I'll try to explain as well as I can through text, but if none of you do the same thing, it might be difficult to understand.
I've had OCD since age 5 at the latest. I was predisposed to having it when I was born, and it probably got triggered when my dad died at 3.5yo. I remember my mom saying, "Stop doing that with your eyes!" once when she was talking to me (at 5yo), because I was doing a ritual and she didn't understand why I was moving my eyes back and forth. So anyway...
I have a touch of germophobia, checking, lots of intrusive thoughts, rumination, anxiety; a touch of everything, it seems. But the most dominant theme(?) I have is making patterns.
I make patterns out of literally anything and everything. I draw lines in the air with my eyes, connecting random (but soon to be important) points, and have to retrace the line exactly a 2nd time. If I fail, a pattern starts. I have to "undo" the 2nd time before I can go back and "undo" the 1st time. That usually doesn't work out, because it's difficult to retrace *exactly*, so I do things differently a 3rd, 4th, etc time, and get into a very complicated "game" of remembering what I did the previous time, and working backward to undo it, until I undo the 1st line I drew. This rarely happens and just have to stop after I get to a point to where it's just too complicated. It gets much worse than just looking around though.
It can and does involve every part of me. Setting my hand down and noticing the pressure and temperature on my fingertips and whatever other skin is making contact with a surface; what color and texture I'm looking at. Was I blinking? Breathing in or out? How full were my lungs? Was I (God forbid) swallowing at the time? If so, I have to repeat every single factor the exact same way, or I add another layer to the pattern to undo. It is *exhausting* and pervasive. A bit maddening as well.
What really sucks is that it is ***so*** natural to me. I don't even notice I'm doing it. If I don't notice I'm doing it, how do I stop it? It's been the way I think since I was 4! I'm pretty lucky to be a person who can (mostly) hide my rituals, but at the same time I wish people could see how bad it is. If I had to turn the lights on and off a certain # of times, I would notice and maybe be able to stop myself, but it isn't like that. I'm glad no one would watch me doing that and make fun of me or put me down, but I also have nobody seeing how much I'm suffering and how awful it is. I really am trapped in my head. My mind being a prison is very accurate!
I actually *have* stopped myself plenty of times, but if I'm doing it literally every waking moment, the number of times I stop myself in a day is insignificant. I don't know how to change thought patterns I've had since I was a toddler.
I met 1 person (in actual real life - not the internet!) who had the same type. After reading and searching this sub, it seems like a one in a billion chance that I met that guy.
**One more thing,** and this seems kind of important, but all the people I've read about talk about how they think something bad will happen (to whomever) if they don't do their rituals. I don't have that, but instead I just get **the sensation** that something bad will happen. That overwhelming sense of dread you get, but nothing specific happening to anyone or anything. Anyone else like this?? Thanks in advance to everyone.
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OCD
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like.. how did i get here? i can’t function anymore i can’t go one day without something, i can’t do anything that isn’t affected by this. i can’t even explain it. every single day every second of the day is just consumed by mental illness i don’t even know anymore like i feel like i’ve reached my limit, if it’s even possible to get worse than this i genuinely don’t even know what id do.
sometimes i really just sit back and realize like.. what the fuck happened to me
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OCD
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I do have tics, but I'm not ok k with it. I keep looking at places and talking to people to try to figure out what is causing
Like, I know it sounds like normal, but it's eating me inside out, cause I don't know what I have and I want to know and I get anxious thinking about it and do compulsive behaviours to "calm me down".
And I am always trying to prove that I am pretending and I am a bad person, I don't know why. I know I have but I also know that I am a monster pretending to have Tourettes
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OCD
|
My sexual pure OCD started four years ago. In short in was a nightmare, It first started with HOCD then quicky jumped to POCD and BOCD. I was almost completely non functional for 6 months. So 4 years after I'm almost completely back to normal thanks to ERP and some mindfulness. I still have it, get mild triggers here and there, but it doesn't bother me much and forget about it seconds after. So what's your experience, did it subcide over the years?
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OCD
|
Hey there, before getting to the main points of the post I want to make two things clear:
-I’m not as of now diagnosed with Aspergers but I have taken online tests that suggest so and I resonate with the symptoms a lot.
-I am not a doctor nor am I a researcher or anything like that.
I’m simply telling my experience with something which is the core problem that people with Aspergers struggle with: personal connections.
Now this will sound unholy to some of you but I smoke weed. Nukem strain to be exact (65% sativa, 35% indica, with 20% THC) and let me tell you this:
-I speak to my family on a deeper level and the quality of the conversation is just unbeatable!
-I can understand the meaning behind bits of the “unspoken” language of hidden messages and non verbal communication.
-I receive relatively better attention from the opposite sex as an effect of the above.
I’m putting this message to say that weed helps me with human connection, I get bursts of it that are impossible to achieve with my sober brain. And I hope that more research can be done on this it’s serious!!!!
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aspergers
|
So, my anxiety primarily is centred around distressing memories of when I get uncontrollably anxious. I feel...off in certain places, or near certain people. For example, at the beginning of December, I had a really bad episode. I would wake up every morning having an anxiety attack, drenched in sweat and also freezing cold and nauseous). I’d be driving to work, feeling super unwell, nauseous, anxious, just not good. I’d usually feel more at ease when I get to talking to coworkers and stuff. Yesterday was the first day back to work in 2 months, and I started driving to work, and everything came flooding back. Just the feeling of being up early and driving the route to work were enough to set off my anxiety. It’s like the memories I have from times of intense anxiety episodes trigger me into more anxiety. I’ve been diagnosed with GAD, depression, and I’m on cipralex, wellbutrin, and synthroid for my hypothyroidism. Apologies if this isn’t related to ptsd at all, but I’m just desperate for answers.
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ptsd
|
So currently I’m on 54 mg dose (changed that from 36 recently) and my psychiatrist never mentioned alcohol while prescribing meds. I did some research on my own and from what I’ve read, I got the impression that I shouldn’t drink when meds are working, but after the meds “wear off” I can, but to be fair I didn’t research this specific topic a lot.
I sometimes occasionally drink with my friends and lately, especially after increasing the dose, I noticed how getting drunk required much less alcohol. Also I started having hangovers, which almost never happened before, but now every time I drink something more than three beers, the next day I have headaches and weird feeling in stomach.
So I’m wondering if I should drink at all, or just be even more careful with that. Also does alcohol mixed with concerta has some more serious effects that I should be aware of?
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ADHD
|
Does anyone else experience doubting what u threw in the bin, like ruminate if it was one of ur belongings or something important? i just threw food wrappings after eating but my head is telling me "WHAT IF U THREW UR PHONE IT IN?" i hate it i just want it to stop
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OCD
|
We are born we study till 24, we love someone we get married, we form a family, then we lose our family members one by one.... We have only the memories of them the we die.... The journey of life ends in just 55 years.....
I lost my father at 3 the beging a single parent my mom brought me up and these feelings kill me, I'm being in this Dipressed state for a week, I can sleep, I can't eat, I can't concentrate on anything, my life feel Worth less, some times I get thoughts like loosing my mom, thinking of that I can't sleep, I could't cry aloud, I feel alone, I feel Dipressed, I feel human life is worth less.... And
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depression
|
There’s a child.
The child is sat at a table. On the table is one plate of candy, one plate of vegetables.
Your job is to convince this child to eat the vegetables, not the candy.
You can’t get rid of the candy. You can hide it, but the child will know it’s there and will refuse to eat the vegetables.
You may only interact with the child verbally.
You tell the child that they can have the candy as soon as they finish the vegetables, so they reach for a carrot and give it a nibble.
…but wait a second, why should they? The candy is right there - and you can’t stop them from having it anyway.
“I’ll just have ONE candy, then I’ll eat the vegetables!”
…
…you wave and yell, scream and shout, but the child is now completely lost in the world of chocolates and bubble gum.
You’ve tried your hardest to convince the child.
At a loss for ideas, you give in.
Every so often, you desperately remind the child that the vegetables are still there - much healthier to eat - and they won’t eat themselves! But your words are quickly dismissed as the child is too busy enjoying the candy.
Only once the child notices their growing stomachache and face covered in chocolate do they snap out of their sugar trance and hear your pleads,
Perhaps considering the vegetables...
Or not.
“These vegetables don’t go bad before next week! I have time to enjoy some more candy.”
I’ve seen people compare ADHD to having to constantly babysit a child, which kinda stuck with me and made me think of this analogy for how I feel about procrastination.
Had no idea what flair to put for this lol
It’s 5am and I was supposed to sleep at 1 :,)
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ADHD
|
So. Get ready mfs. I’ll make this as short as i can. Won’t be long. I have compulsions off the wall every day 24/7. If my hand isn’t in a certain position i start thinking the devil is going to take my soul even though i know it isn’t true. When it’s not this it’s thoughts about me causing my familys death (like them dying bc i did something wrong in a ritual to ease my compulsion). I will also have completely taboo thoughts about being racist, a pedophile and just a complete bastard even though i try 100% to love everyone and do anything to make people happy as much as i can. I’ll check the doors for 15 minutes before i leave my house. I check for all possible fire hazards and eliminate them. I get shit for it at work but they don’t get it. I get made fun of for doing rituals while i work and i can’t tell them what i got or else im labeled as a special lil snowflake. Am i going borderline psycho? Or is this normal? I can’t even sit without having to pull my leg super far behind myself. As im typing this even my brain is making me retype shit. Am i turning crazy? An amateur therapist or anything of the sort would be nice to get an opinion from. I have an appt for therapy sometime next month. Thank you
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OCD
|
I used to have hands that were so dry they were cracking. Don’t get me wrong, my hands are still very very dry, but the fact that they aren’t cracking makes me feel like my OCD isn’t as bad as I think it is, and that I’m just making it sound worse.
But I know I’m not, because the rest of my body is cracking etc. It’s hard, and after living with it for ~10 years it just tears you down.After hearing “just stop” “you’re not even trying” etc,etc, you start to wonder if it’s true, yk?
Sorry, this is my first post. I felt safe ranting about my struggles here where people are understanding.
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OCD
|
I just hate it I feel like everyone's against me and that I have no place for me to exist because I like something popularity hates. It's so harmful. I only think about stupid fandom people and anime fans opinions, ships, characters that are popular but I absolutely hate. I wish Jujutsu Kaisen never existed.
I can't do even my school because it just keeps bogging me and I can't do nothing about.
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OCD
|
Hi! I am 19 and diagnosed with ADHD. However, in my country doctors don’t prescribe meds much often, so I’m only doing some therapy to help me ( I also have generalized anxiety disorder and last year got diagnosed with depression, which is better now ).
I am in my second year of law school ( in my country you can go to law school right after finishing high school )and it has been terrible for me!!!
I was always a great student in high school, always loved subjects like maths and philosophy, because I had to think and that thinking made me focused. But I always been terrible in subjects like history, since I had to memorize A LOT… and I struggle a lot with that.
When it comes to studying, I find it too difficult, I just can’t start and even if I do, I get distracted like after 5 minutes. In law school I have to memorize a lot, because in my college we only have final exams and everything is theoretical.
I was wondering if anyone here has some tips or skills in how to be able to study like every other student do and how to memorize a lot of information.
Thank you :))
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ADHD
|
I'm genuinely scared of sleeping, the pure consciousness of being "unconscious" scares the hell out of me, everything has a schedule and the fact that I could wake up late just scares me tremendously. It has appended in the past (while I went to school) and it was horrible to be written up for that. In addition to that, knowing that while I'm sleeping, I couldn't be able to feel an (improbable) home invasion or whatever straight up terrifies me.
I've started to get the habit of going to sleep when most of the people wake up and, don't get me wrong, it's such a nice habit to have, it makes me feel extremely calm and relaxed... but is it bad if it's caused just by that paranoia?
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aspergers
|
I’m approaching finishing my Bachelor’s Degree and I’m really stressed about interviewing for possible jobs. I’m a very social, outgoing, naturally charismatic person in social settings, but that absolutely goes out the window when I am in an interview. I’m horrible at them, I get really anxious and nervous, overthink what I say and end up shutting down. My whole body starts to shake and I fidget so much. I really hate “professional” or formal like this in general, I feel like I can’t be myself like I can in casual settings, and it’s the only time I ever really act like this. For example, in school, I was taught to use the STAR method, but that is exactly the type of thing that makes me overthink because I can’t focus on remembering that and not acting robotic, feeling really uncomfortable about using a formula for the way I speak. I did a lot of interviews for internships, and they just progressively got worse for me, and I didn’t get any more comfortable by the end of them.
Does anyone have any tips on how I can get around this traditional structure of interviews or try to alter my strategies going into it? I’m hoping to find some tips that will help me remain as casual as possible, myself, and relaxed. Or anyone who has had a lot of experience, is being casual and easy-going, rather than following a formula be alright? I’ve never tried just being myself in an interview because I feel like I need to adjust accordingly to fit this standard I’ve been told about.
For reference, I am only interviewing in jobs for Bachelor’s Degrees in a creative space (marketing, design, media, communications, etc.)
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ADHD
|
As a young autistic child at school I was forced stay in a classroom with a special needs girl severely crying the whole day. They wouldn’t let me leave the room or call my parents to go home. It has traumatized me for 12 years and prevents me from coping with seeing crying in any way. Airplanes are too risky, and TV and movies are extremely hard for me to find watchable content without crying drama. So many shows are so drama based these days. Even the commercials! I have been trying to get professional help for this but it seems like there’s no one else like me. Any advice on how I can one day progress to handling this?
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ptsd
|
I am on the fence about giving meds a try. Anyone who does take them regularly: do they actually stabilize and improve mood like they are advertised to? What are the expectations vs reality of them?
|
depression
|
hi! So I don’t have OCD but I have PTSD and though very different mental illnesses I noticed some small overlap in symptoms the big one being intrusive thoughts. I found that ppl with OCD seem to be the only ppl who truly get it and know how fucking awful it is.
I feel like my intrusive thoughts are ruining my life. I have sexual trauma and my intrusive thoughts are mainly based around that I won’t go into detail but they are bad.
Have any of you guys found something that stops them? Or slows them down? I always try and remind myself that this is not me and it’s not my fault but sometimes they make me feel like a horrible person.
Thank you guys so much anything helps<3
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OCD
|
I feel like everyone expects me to say that my experiences were either brilliant or terrible, when they're usually mixed or interesting or mediocre instead.
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aspergers
|
I have a huge obsession that has been replaying in my head since November and it just won't stop. its literally just me wondering if it's ok for a christian to look at fiction that has magic in it. I know it's okay, but my OCD just won't shut up. I feel like I'm alone right now because its obviously something really weird and random to obsess over and I don't know anyone else with OCD who has thought about one specific thing for that long.
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OCD
|
I am (14) years old And I am depressed I wish I don't wake up tom and live the same routine.i am expected to Study for Hours for my Boards exam And I am In Class 7th and is also expectedly to not talk back and do what they tell me to do and wear what they want. This may seem small issue but because of this small issue I am depressed thanks for reading till now.
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depression
|
I do what everyone says to motivate yourself to get up in the morning: plan your day the night before, sleep early, set an alarm. But when the alarm goes off, I just hit snooze, get some shut eye, then the snooze goes off, repeat until I get annoyed and just shut off the alarm and go to sleep again. Then I wake up after lunch and the day just carries on slowly. I don't even bother waking up early to waste energy doing my stupid tasks because I know I have no aspirations in life so whatever struggle I'm going through now, I know it's just for nothing, so I just don't care. But I still have to do stuff because deadlines n shit. I don't know what to do or how to get over this. I'm now going to make some late night ramen because why the fuck not now huh
|
depression
|
Hi. I've seen posts about songs in here before and the artist Petey just released this song called [Perfect Teeth](https://youtu.be/1lNDaKEXkEk) and it reminds me a lot of OCD and I wanted to share.
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OCD
|
I feel like I shouldn't be in the relationship I'm in at times. It's good,the person I'm with is patient and understands that my mind isnt the best at times which is good. But it's like I'm split in half about this. One half is happy about this while the other half feels disgust over it, I feel like I don't deserve this. To be with someone who is mentally healthy and caring.
At times I miss my controlling ex because of this and it's all confusing. I tell myself that I deserve to be happy and I feel like I should but I guess I dont actually believe that I deserve to be happy. I dont believe I deserve something that is healthy and it's frustrating as all hell.
I guess when your most of your not long life (I'm 21m) is filled with abuse and trauma you just being to believe that you don't deserve happiness or to ve cared for or to be loved by others. Especially from those who are mentally healthy which is well bullshit honestly.
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ptsd
|
International Asperger's Day is celebrated on the 18th of February each year. The day aims to raise awareness about the condition, educate the general population and highlight the challenges people with Asperger's face.
Have a nice day my dear community!
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aspergers
|
I’ve been struggling with depression and suicide these past 2 years. I’ve been losing sleep, gaining weight, suffering from mental breakdowns, and have no self worth of any kind. Every single day I suffer from suicidal thoughts, irrational guilt, mood swings, anxiety, low self esteem. It has gotten so bad that I literally picture myself being tormented and beaten by my friends and loved ones every single night. Some days I even ask myself “why am I still alive?” “How does someone like me even function?”. These questions plague my mind to no end. And every time I try and tell people about it I get extremely self conscious and more often than not I mentally beat myself up in doing so. My depression has also caused me to lose long lasting relationships with women. and they ended up cutting ties with me as a result. I can’t live like this anymore. I need to realize that not everyone can always be there for me and I have to face my problems alone. Just because I suffer from depression and guilt doesn’t mean that people should be my friend out of obligation and pity. I’m a fucking retard for believing that I’m so “important” to everyone’s when in reality I’m easily forgettable. I’m nothing more than a sorry excuse for a clown. I’m a horrible, pitiful, piece of shit, manipulative, jackass who destroys everything and everyone i come across. no wonder why a lot of people think I’m a creepy fuck because of the shit I do! I genuinely feel sorry for everyone who’s still apart of my life because they honestly deserve SO MUCH better than some disgusting creature like myself! All I do is throw pity parties, make an ass out of myself, make excuses, and never learn anything! I’m my own train wreck! a victim to my own tragedy and a laughable one at that! I’m as useful as a crumb on a dinner plate. There is literally nothing to love about me. Nothing at all.
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ptsd
|
FIRST OFF any advice or questions help even if it doesn't contain any career path. I really don't get to talk to successful people especially ones who think to the dynamics I do.
It's really hard for me to settle down with one thing, I CONSTANTLY go through phases in which I'll fully submerse myself into a subject or hobby and when I learn enough to settle my curiosity I may get depressingly bored with it, its really hard for me to do the same thing repeatedly everyday for months, or years, right now I'm going through a fighting phase where i want to take kickboxing classes; I've been through the car phase, drug phase, skateboarding phase, cooking, music, construction, fishing, driving, video games, and many more, sometimes I feel hopeless about going back to school or finding a good job, I live in the Appalachia area of the US so there's not a lot of opportunity unless you know how to find it or know somebody, I don't know how to really find it nor do I really know any 'successful' people (person which can make a decent house and or a good car payment and not on gov't assistance while taking care of a family) I just feel and have felt for years I really have to potential to thrive but i cant ever find the opportunity or class I want to pursue. I got a lot of anxiety but it has gotten a lot better over the last year when I found who I am a lot more and other things.
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ADHD
|
Disclaimer, I’m currently in the process of getting a diagnosis (have been for the past 12 months (thanks NHS budget cuts)) so I don’t actually know if I have adhd but I have had depression for the past 6 years with no apparent cause, have dropped out of college courses 4 separate times and have a lot of the symptoms commonly associated with adhd like terrible memory and inability to stick to things long term.
When I was young I used to fall asleep quickly but over the past few years my sleep pattern has totally spiralled and since the end of 2019 I’ve been lucky to get to sleep within 2 hours of lying down. The past 2 months there have been several nights where I couldn’t sleep at all.
This isn’t the case for day time naps however, I can easy nap for anywhere between 15 mins and 4 hours and I sleep as soon as I lie down to nap.
Was just curious if anyone else experienced this.
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ADHD
|
I go through periods where I feel ok. I feel like I'm finally moving on. The flashbacks and anxiety fade. Then I go through periods where it all starts creeping back. Sometimes it's triggered by something, other times no reason at all.
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ptsd
|
So I was watching some adult content on Twitter and there was a man and a woman and I remember the dude was showing his genitals and I covered it with my thumb because I didn’t want to see that shit now my brain is convincing me that I did that so I could touch his junk on purpose even though that wasn’t what I was trying to do but I still basically did that, I don’t know anymore
|
OCD
|
I (25f) went through a traumatic experience a year ago. Today marks exactly a year since it happened. The trauma landed me in hospital with a broken jaw, pelvis and hip. I had to have multiple emergency surgeries to put me back together and was stuck in bed for 4 months and was on a liquid diet 2 of those 4 months. Plus all this happened while covid was raging so I couldn't even have any family with me. I thought I was over it and thankfully I have recovered nicely since then.
However today I'm reliving the day and the play by play of exactly what happened on that day. Also my scars are hurting badly even though they look fine. Could this be the anniversary effect? And how do I stop having these horrible flashbacks?
I have other traumatic experiences happened to me but I'm fine on those so why is this one standing out?
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ptsd
|
I have been diagnosed with ocd and have had lots of obsessions and compulsions throughout my life. I’ve also always felt a lot of guilt even over things that don’t necessarily make sense and I’m just wondering if anyone else with OCD has had a similar experience. If so any advice? It’s not an easy emotion to deal with and I’m just so tired of feeling it all the time.
|
OCD
|
i hear a lot about trans OCD but rarely see anything about cis OCD. i’m in the beginning of my transition so the fear of “making a mistake” is high. however, a lot of my worries are extremely irrational—but i nonetheless take it seriously. for example today when i was looking in the mirror, i knew something felt wrong and off about me but i couldn’t pin point why. so what did my mind do? it asked “what if the whole reason you’re transitioning is because you hate having short hair and your mistaking that for body dysphoria?”
so i get scared by this thought, and try to do research to calm myself down. i argue with it, trying to prove it wrong but in the end i never have solid 100% proof… so the thought pops up again.
do you guys have similar experiences?
|
OCD
|
Is it about telling yourself "Maybe I am that way, maybe I'm not" or actually telling yourself "Yes, I am what I fear but I don't care". The latter statement being to stop the OCD cycle I mean.
Looking forward to your responses!
|
OCD
|
Sorry for the rambling post, tldr at the end.
Background: I'm in the UK, early 20s, just graduated and started working.
I've thought it quite likely I have ADHD for a few years now, but haven't been in a massive rush to try to get a diagnosis - when I was at school and university, distraction, procrastination, etc, were affecting my mental health and academic performance, but were not a financial risk. I now have a job and live with my partner, and I'm worried that I'm going to lose my job. I've only been working for about 6 weeks and I'm already incredibly bored even though it's the type of job I want to have, and I've barely been getting any work done in the last two weeks. Living with my partner can also be difficult, for example I forget to do/finish tasks and I leave all the admin tasks such as dealing with utility suppliers to my partner. Basically, the effects of what I think is ADHD are a lot more of a problem that when it didn't matter if I had a messy bedroom, didn't do my homework or barely passed my degree.
I now feel like I desperately need to be assessed for ADHD in order to prevent things falling apart - both having a diagnosis to be able to explain things, and then possibly managing the symptoms with medication. I really don't want to wait so I would have to go private (and Psychiatry-UK now have a really long waiting list so I can't ask to be referred to them to reduce the waiting time).
However, I've only been paid once so far and used up my savings by moving before I started working (I was desperate to not live with my parents anymore). I should earn about £2000 a month, but they took too much tax the first month, which I won't get back until I'm next paid and I owed my partner money as they paid my half of expenses after I ran out of savings. I could afford a private assessment in a couple of months after I've been paid and (hopefully) saved, but I don't have the money right now. I don't want to ask my family to help pay as they've already helped me with money. I really don't want to ask my partner as I don't like owing then money.
So I'm wondering if it would be a bad idea to take out a loan to pay for a private assessment? I'd probably borrow about £1000 from the bank I have my current account with and pay it back over a year at under £100 per month. I seem to be eligible, although I know some lenders don't want you to be in your probationary period at work.
I've been really unable to think of anything else so I've been trying to get closer to booking an appointment. I hadn't registered with a new GP since moving so I filled in the form for a local GP so that I can discuss if they'll write a referral (in order to make sure they accept a diagnosis and hopefully do shared care afterwards). I also started looking at the loan application and realised I hadn't changed my address with my bank so I've phoned them and done that.
TLDR: I want to be assessed for ADHD and want it to be ASAP because I've just started working and I'm worried I'll lose my job without something changing. I won't have enough for a private diagnosis for a few months but don't want to wait that long. Should I try to take out a loan to pay for a private assessment?
|
ADHD
|
When I feel like I dont wanna do ANYTHING I do something physical I dont need to think about like walking or exercise. Maybe listen to music or a podcast. Eventually I find myself back in my room either to do yoga and nap or to nap and then ill feel ready tp tackle some shit.
Yoga is a great way to pass a good bit of time and to relax yourself to do work!
TL:DR decision paralysis or not wanting to do anything? Move around until you do. Dont stay in one place and sulk. Sulk across town!
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ADHD
|
Yesterday my mother told me I'm very observant and that I notice and point out things that she never would have if I wasn't there. Has anyone else been told how good they are at noticing small details?
|
aspergers
|
I'm 14 and was diagnosed with severe PTSD after my mother passed away suddenly in December. I get frequent flashbacks in the night and get panic attacks very easily. Is there anything I can do to fix this like is there anyone I can talk to or anyone who's gone through something similar that can give me advice. I just want to be a normal kid again.
|
ptsd
|
Hey guys. I’ve been struggling with PTSD for a little under a year now after having my right temporal lobe resected to combat my epilepsy. I’ve had the epilepsy for 7 years, but for some reason my mental state didn’t decline until after the surgery which is odd.
Anyways, I worked with my therapist back home doing EMDR for about 4 months until I left for college. Now here I am severely concerned about my mental health due to my issues with PTSD coming back.
For those of you who’ve been cut off from one or another mode of treatment, how have you coped without having a psychiatrist prescribe something and without having to visit a therapist?
|
ptsd
|
I don't know how to make this a poll, so I'm just going to type them out:
a) if I don't do something right, I have to do the entire thing again whether it takes seconds or hours
b) I can control the outcome of future events by doing things a certain way
c) if I don't do things a precise way, bad things may happen
d) avoiding bad things isn't because the thing I do actually keeps the other thing from happening, but keeps me in phase such that my time line is different (ie. I have to close the door 3 times before I go to the store or something bad will happen. The time used to close the door 3 times means I'm at a different location and don't get hit by a car).
e) there are energies in the universe that general science can't explain but I can feel
T/F
|
OCD
|
\#StopTheShock
News Sources:
[https://thehill.com/changing-america/respect/accessibility/562022-federal-court-approves-only-school-in-us-using](https://thehill.com/changing-america/respect/accessibility/562022-federal-court-approves-only-school-in-us-using)
[https://www.reuters.com/legal/litigation/dc-circuit-overturns-fda-ban-shock-device-disabled-students-2021-07-06/](https://www.reuters.com/legal/litigation/dc-circuit-overturns-fda-ban-shock-device-disabled-students-2021-07-06/)
[https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-judge-rotenberg-center-uses-electric-shocks-on-students-now-a-court-says-thats-totally-fine](https://www.thedailybeast.com/the-judge-rotenberg-center-uses-electric-shocks-on-students-now-a-court-says-thats-totally-fine)
[https://www.wcvb.com/article/5-investigates-canton-school-can-use-shock-therapy-on-students-massachusetts/36960028](https://www.wcvb.com/article/5-investigates-canton-school-can-use-shock-therapy-on-students-massachusetts/36960028)
[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/massachusetts-school-electric-shock-fda-b1880365.html](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/massachusetts-school-electric-shock-fda-b1880365.html)
[https://www.masslive.com/news/2021/07/fdas-ban-on-the-use-of-electric-shock-devices-used-at-judge-rotenberg-center-in-massachusetts-overturned.html](https://www.masslive.com/news/2021/07/fdas-ban-on-the-use-of-electric-shock-devices-used-at-judge-rotenberg-center-in-massachusetts-overturned.html)
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aspergers
|
I’ll cut to the chase. In the last 7 or 8 months I started having pain urinating and in my pelvis. I went to the hospital and did an ultrasound. They found two small cysts on one of my ovaries but nothing else. I also did a CT scan which was normal. The doctors I’ve seen haven’t been able to find the cause of pain. Urologist ruled out any urology problem and now I’m following up with a gyno. The dull pain and urinary issue has been affecting everything in my life. I’ve been living in distress for months. Throughout this whole time I’ve lost weight. I was 61kg basically most of my adult life. Suddenly today i’m 57kg. I know for some that sounds insignificant but I’m eating normally! I’m not trying to lose weight. I’ve been having digestive problems too. I have ibs and of course it was triggered and last week i had a fissure (internal). Everything has been crazy stressful to the point where I feel like I’m spinning out of control. My OCD has been triggered badly, and I can’t shake off the thought that this is cancer? One of my older sisters have colon cancer and I can’t stop thinking about the possibility. The weight loss specially is weird because I’ve had bad anxiety my entire life but it’s the first time I’ve reached 57. Been on diets to reach this weight in my teenage years and I failed. I feel so lost, helpless, and like I’m going crazy. I’m looking for reassurance, similar stories or anything that can help. (I’m 25f).
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OCD
|
So day 1 was amazing (but I read it usually is), day 2 was still pretty good, day 3 kinda ok, day 4 pretty good and today I feel like complete shit tbh. Lethargic as hell and irritable as hell too. I'm on 36mg generic. Any similar experience?
Like the scatter brain is still under control but my mood is sooooo bad today, and I'm struggling to really follow through with a thought if that makes sense
​
I'm on Neucon 36mg (South Africa) and it has a similar release than the non-generic version from what I've read.
|
ADHD
|
(27F in the US) I've been lurking on this sub for a few months now, so I know I'm not the only one with this problem. I am trying to get tested for ADHD but the hoops I have to jump through are seriously getting in the way.
Step 1: saw my doctor two months ago to tell her I think I have adhd. Got a general referral from her to see a psychiatrist.
Step 2: check with my insurance to see which psychiatrists in my area are covered
Step 3: obsessively google/research each person because this is an important decision I'm terrified of messing up
Step 4: finally get the courage to call one of the places only to be told they aren't taking new patients. They won't even put me on a waiting list.
So far I've repeated steps 2-4 about 6 times now. It's exhausting and hard to keep up with. I'm terrified that struggling with adhd is going to keep me from being able to get diagnosed with adhd...
|
ADHD
|
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