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When I was 13 I saw a video of a girl and it
aroused me and I masturbated to it and the
memory so fucking with my head and making
me question if I’m a pedo or not. Right now I
have three possibilities of why I did this. 1.I
thought she was 11 therefore close to my age 2.I
might’ve been projecting onto her due to me
getting abused when I was younger. Or 3 the
worst case scenario I did it out of horniness or
an attraction to children. I can’t get this out of
my head and I don’t know what to do or what
possibility to accept. My therapist told me to
stop thinking about it but it’s so hard. What
should I do? I can’t live like this any longer.
|
OCD
|
i am a leech who only comes here to whine about my own life. i never engage with anyone else's posts. all i want is for people to think i have it the worst of all.
don't read this, because tomorrow or the next day i'll sweep up and pretend like i was always fine.
i don't like my major. i'm in a simultaneous undergrad/grad program, so it's a big deal to drop it and pursue something else. plus i'm working on research (that's not interesting and honestly doesn't matter) with a professor who will be very disappointed.
i don't like my job. it's supposed to be good experience (for my major), but (1) i don't like my major, and (2) the job is just grunt work/stupid assignments.
i don't have any friends.
none of the meds have helped my anxiety.
i'm in a leadership position in a club that i hate and never should have joined. i wish i could tell you more about all these things so that you would know they really are as stupid as i'm saying -- the job and the club and the research. it's stupid shit that's not worth anyone's time, really.
i think i'm autistic but i'm too tired to figure out how to get tested and i know from past attempts that the wait will be really long and i hate talking on the phone.
i have a very minor physical disability (it objectively is relatively minor, i'm not just minimizing it) that i hate.
i'm mad because i know i'll never end things myself and i wish my family et al. would just forget about me, they have no right to guilt me into staying, which is what they're doing even though they have no idea about any of this, i wish i could just make them not give a fuck about me or see and fully understand and be ok with me being gone. then it would be ok. why would it not be? there must be some level of pain, over some period of time, that's worth the suffering that my death would cause. but even if i might be near that level, i know i'll never do it because
i'm all talk. i just want attention. do you see now? that's why i did that dramatic enjambment between "because" and "i'm all talk." this is just one big con to make you feel sorry for me.
i don't even fucking exist. i'm just letters on your screen. read this, don't read it; judge me, ignore me, answer me; it doesn't matter.
|
depression
|
27/m- I was diagnosed a long time ago with adhd and never got the proper treatment. I'm now diagnosed as bipolar as well. I've seen so many success stories about people with both and have had success with adhd meds. My psychiatrist REFUSES to even try adhd meds. I just feel so beat and defeated. Anyone else struggling like this? If so, what has helped? Ps I've been on Wellbutrin 300mg and lamotrigine 300mg (I prescribed it to myself after some internet surfing) for over a year now with no improvements. Just today wants to ween me off Wellbutrin and starting abilify
|
ADHD
|
Hi. I'm new to this subreddit, so I hope I dont violate the rules with this.
I've had PTSD for a while. I was assaulted as a child, by my cousin, then again at 11 by my boyfriendwho was 16, and again at 14 by a different boyfriend. I never told anyone, even my therapists, I was "normal" in my eyes, because until two years ago some of the incidents never resonated as an assault. I was conditioned to think they were normal things that teen girls do with or for the older men in their lives. My therapist knew though, I think. They're trained to know, especially when a young kid is edging around certain subjects like their love life or past boyfriends.
Well, a friend who knew me and my first boyfriend (the one who assaulted me at 11), has recently started hanging out with him again after years of no connection. He's apparently VERY different now, but she doesn't know that he assaulted me. She keeps pressuring me into going to their friend's house to hang out, she keeps texting me funny things he's said to her, and I woke up early this morning read a text from her about him and fell back asleep because it was early.
I had a TERRIBLE nightmare, I woke up and didnt even remember where I was. I won't go into details, but it SEVERELY affected me. I dont know what I want to do, I want to run away and stay put. I want to cry and I want to brush it off. I dont know what to do, because i never played into the PTSD. I didnt want my siblings or parents to know, i didnt want anyone to know. I never told anyone about that diagnosis and now? I wish i had.
This same friend also dated the other boyfriend who assaulted and stalked me (for four years, as a minor, he was an adult). I'm open about the stalking, I told her when she asked me, but I never told her about the assault. We worked together and he would wait for her (she worked in the back mostly, I worked in the front of the restaurant), but he always watched me. Always did things to make me jump, like leaving so I'd be comfortable and wait for me to relax, then he'd reappear.
I was fine until I wasn't, and it feels like today was a breaking point. I feel scared and angry. And like no one will understand. 'Why didnt I speak up before?' 'Why didnt I tell anyone?' And I'm just scared. I dont even want a hug, or someone to hold my hand, I dont want anything. I just went to my room instead of taking a hike like I wanted and started hyperventilating, I cried. Like I never have before.
Sorry if this doesn't make sense. I can't find anywhere else to put it. I just wanna throw up and hide. Am I overreacting? Is this all in my head?
Anyways, best wishes all, stay safe and occupied during this stressful time.
|
ptsd
|
We were at dinner at my partners parents place. The conversation traveled from hunting to shooting, to hospitalized suicide attempts by shooting because one guest was being trained in an hospital and saw this every day.
Then they commenced to say how stupid you must be, clearly you must shoot yourself this and this way to die, and at least they shot themselves instead of throwing themselves in front of a train. Everybody laughed. Then they talked about who is "allowed" to even attempt suicide and who should just get over it. I stood up and walked away.
.
Yes, only my partner knows I'm on anti depressants, but not even he noticed how off this conversation became and how uncomfortable I was.
.
I wish I was brave enough to just say: guys, guess what, I'm on anti depressants and I am in Therapy. Please don't talk shit about things you don't understand.
.
I felt so alone.
.
Later I talked to my partner about what happened and I think he understood that it was insensitive. Sometimes I can't believe people.
|
depression
|
Self hatred mainly but I feel depression has made me more bitter than I’d like. I mainly channel all of my anger into exercise as a release. I put every ounce of effort into it and it makes me feel a bit better afterward. I usually will be drained at the end, I shower and then crash. Hopefully this is helpful to people here dealing with the same issues as me. Keep going you guys…one step at a time.
|
depression
|
Is ocd having like the feeling/impulse u did something disgusting/not normal but u didnt do it but ur brain just keeps going saying that u did and worrying about what happens after?
|
OCD
|
so i was watching a past genshin impact stream and the person who was streaming was talking about gatcha, my intrusive thought went to harm ocd and stealing someones credit card, and i kinda hate that cause i don't want to hurt anyone, but i feel fucked up cause it seems more like an actual thought then intrusive, i feel very anxious right now, and very annoyed cause i was for for the past 4ish hours, am i just fucked up? i hate ocd
|
OCD
|
On Day 1 on Vyvanse 30mg and I've been having high anxiety, it's difficult to concentrate because all the physical (increased heart rate, slight pressure on the chest) symptoms of anxiety and psychological distract me and I always feel on the edge. Does this go away? I feel like I took too much coffee and it's just uncomfortable, not nice at all.
|
ADHD
|
My son is 5 weeks old. I absolutely adore the boy - getting him here was a massive challenge and so every second since his birth is often consumed with the thought of 'well now the other shoe is going to drop and I'm going to lose him'. For the most part I've been able to manage my anxiety about it, but in the last week it's starting to get out of control.
I have an intense fear that something I do unintentionally is going to hurt him, like: if I'm dressing him what if I pull his arm or leg out of the socket, if I'm feeding him - what if I'm holding the bottle wrong and he gets too much and chokes, when I hold him while tired, what if I fall asleep and suffocate him, and finally today when I dozed off for a few moments while holding him (being the primary care giver I'm doing all over night/early morning feedings) what if I did something that harmed him but don't know it. These fears, of causing harm without knowing/meaning to, are themes I've had for as long as I can remember - I was really really hoping they wouldn't crop up around taking care of my son, but here we are.
I called my mom for help today, she came over and is watching him while I call my psychiatrist who is adjust my medication and my therapist. For parents - when did the worrying get better/did it get better? Any tips of managing or mitigating the worst of it? Solidarity that I'm not the only person who feels this way?
|
OCD
|
First, I accomplished nothing in 2020 because of the lockdown. Nobody even wanted me around
Then in October of 2021, I lost my Dad due to medical malpractice. I’m still hurting emotionally from that, and it’s already turning out to be an even crappier holiday season.
I’m scared that 2022 could just turn out to be another mess.
|
depression
|
Kind of random, but I absolutely despise the sound of hairdryers and vacuum cleaners. I honestly feel a sense of dread when I go to switch either of them on, the noise hurts my ears so much. I usually let my hair dry naturally for this reason, but I'm going out tonight so just had to use a hairdryer and I hated every second of it, lol. Anyone else relate? What are some oddly specific noises you can't stand?
|
aspergers
|
Before my symptoms got really bad a few years ago, I may have shown signs of OCD symptoms when I was younger. Do you think these were related to OCD?
1. At one point of time when I was a teenager, I used to have a constant thought of thinking there might be a demon that attacks me after I step out of the shower to dry my hair. I think this was when I was taking my Catholicism really seriously(although I’m not religious anymore).
2. I would recite from memory the list of actors from different movies I loved and what roles they played when I was bored many times. Although it wasn’t stressful to me, maybe it was a compulsion I did in times of boredom??
|
OCD
|
Hello everyone, I’m a 20yo male and have been suffering from intrusive OCD since February and anxiety since last November. I have lived a pretty good life up until last November when I had my first panic attack out of no where. It happened at my college where I was almost finished with my 1st semester of Junior year. I had started to freak out over some sharp pains in my chest, I took a seat and then I started hyperventilating and absolutely flipping out. It got so bad I got my friend to take me to a hospital. Anywayssss, ever since that day I’ve never been the same. I’ve had multiple attacks that had finally stopped back in January. However, even without the attacks, I’ve felt like crap pretty much every day since the first one. Too add onto the pain, in February, I read an article on a man with PTSD who had failed to receive help and ended up killing his family and himself. Now, I’m a genuinely good guy and a pretty solid Roman Catholic. However, ever since I read that I’ve had Harm OCD thoughts about hurting my family (mainly parents who I relied on for support for my anxiety). Now everyday since then I’ve been terrified of myself and these thoughts I have. I would never hurt anyone especially my family yet these thoughts are so disturbing. Every day is almost the same for me with an endless cycle of what if’s and intrusive thoughts that make me scared of myself and what I think I’ve become (if that makes sense) I just want to find relief and have no idea how to get there. I wish I could be who I was 7 months ago and not have these disturbing, stressful, tiring thoughts ever day. Will I ever be able to “recover” so to say? I hate living my life like this. Thank you guys, and sorry for how long this was lol
|
OCD
|
I’m in my first semester of uni writing my first assignment. I’ve got a 3000 word essay due for uni managed to get a weeks extension meaning it’s due 11th of jan but my brain just won’t let it happen.
I struggle with doing anything without feeling pressure of the deadline coming up so as much as the extra week has helped my anxiety and means I can enjoy Christmas a bit more, it just leaves me with another week of doing nothing but panicking about the fact I’m doing nothing.
I’ve started by writing lots of sentence starters in some form of structure but it’s so easy to find anything else to do, things I’ve put off for months that seem easy to do now I should be doing something else.
Any advice or suggestions would be so appreciated before I end up in a panic the day before it’s due.
|
ADHD
|
Pretty much what the title says. I can never sleep because my mind is always racing and thinking of different scenarios. Not even negative things, just random stuff
Edit: Thanks to everyone replying and giving me advice. I appreciate you all and hope you all find things that work for you/ continue to work for you <3
|
aspergers
|
So... I was diagnosed with adhd and bpd over a year ago now. Fun times.
How ever now im 99% sure i have some form of a graphic ocd too.
I have for years compulsively checked videos of beatings or murder or general graphic images on my phone..
I also canot stop googling dating sites and prostitutes because i know it will sabotage my relationship.
Also feeling like i want to stab people..
Its been going on for years now. But got so much worse recently.
Flm I just need to hear im not alone with that and it could be ocd because i keep thinking im going to kill someone or cheat.
Im just exhausted from it constantly barging its way into my head i so afraid that im going to act on it.
Fml😩
|
OCD
|
I just want to dump my feelings right now. I have ADHD and depression and I used to have no problem in school before Covid hit. The time between now and when covid started was when all of my motivation to do school work disappeared and was eventually prescribed depression medication after my first semester in college. It’s hard to tell if it’s the cocktail of medications I’m taking causing my downfall or Its because I stopped having that drive to do things. I used to to have 4 hour school days and get another 3 hours in for studying and manage to spend an hour and a half in the gym afterwards. Right now I have two midterm papers due that I used to be able to get done much faster, even the night before it was due, and now I struggle to come up with a paragraph. I’m very easily distracted and my inability to do school has caused me to spiral deeper into my depression. I haven’t noticed how easily distracted I am until now and I always find myself scrolling through the same 4 apps to distract myself from getting sad but then it causes more strain on me because I have less time. I also don’t retain very much lecture material at all. I thought of dropping my Organic Chemistry class so I can do better in my other classes but they would take away my grant money that I need to pay rent. I just feel trapped and unable to feel happy with all of this stress from school. I don’t know what to do and I just keep sitting here with the same word document open that I’ve barely touched over the past 3 weeks. It just sucks and I wish I could be my past self. :(
|
depression
|
I’m not sure if this is just an Asperger’s thing, but it happens to me all the time. For one, certain songs give me nostalgia, sometimes to the point of crying. And I have noticed different song keys put specific images in my mind. D major songs put an image of a sunny day in my mind, and G major songs give me a sort of “rainy afternoon” feeling. I’m a very vivid visual thinker, and music seems to significantly intensify it. Does anyone else feel that music strongly affects them?
|
aspergers
|
So I remembered a really bad thing that happened to me as a child. Like I had a full blown breakdown I know it happened I remember it so clearly it’s so sick I want to throw up. I have a great therapist but I don’t know if I should tell anyone this because it’s sick and I don’t feel like I can deal mentally with taking this to court but it’s a serious thing..
|
ptsd
|
My partner has ADHD and we're both trying to become healthier. He does not like walking because it's too boring (even if listening to music or book), no jogging, does not like hiking because it's boring, doesn't swim, won't go to the gym, doesn't like sit up/crunches, push ups, squats etc. because it's too boring and repetitive. He says he's good with doing manual labor/ yard work because it has a goal besides just bodily health but there's typically no yard work/ labor to be done. Does anybody have any advice/ tips?
TL;DR: Can't think of a single exercise that BF is willing to do because they're not stimulating enough. Any advice/tips?
|
ADHD
|
tldr: I keep obsessing over "what if I start believing thoughts and speech are the same thing?"
OCD sucks and is making me question everything. Honestly, I can't tell if I'm developing schizophrenia or my OCD is just getting super creative. I've recently started obsessing about the idea of thought broadcasting. I know people with schizophrenia believe that they can transmit their thoughts or other people can read their minds.
Recently I've been hyper focusing on the process of speaking and how my thoughts turn into words. Speaking used to be very natural to me. I'll just talk if that makes sense. Now I'm getting anxiety about speaking but not in the traditional sense where I'm worried that I'll sound stupid or something. I'm getting anxious about the process of speaking. I feel like sometimes I'll have a thought about something I'll say, but I don't say it immediately. Other times I'll just say something without thinking about it much and it just comes out (always appropriately) and I'll think to myself, "wow did I just say that on autopilot?" Now thinking about it, I feel like that is how I always used to talk. It would just come out and I don't have to think about it that much.
I'm worried I'm going through the early stages of thought broadcasting. During those times when I think of something that I normally would say, but don't say it immediately - it feels weird and gives me anxiety. Will this eventually lead me to think I'm thought broadcasting? What if those thoughts of my responses that I immediately have will eventually turn into voices or become the thoughts that I eventually think I'm thought broadcasting? When I just say stuff without thinking about it, it also is now giving me anxiety. How am I just saying stuff without thinking about it? Or am I thinking about it but just so quickly I don't realize I'm thinking about it? But why am I suddenly realizing that I don't/do think about it?
It started off as just a weird feeling every now and then, but now I can't stop thinking about it and I get a lot of anxiety. Sometimes when I'm really in a conversation or at work, I forget about it and everything seems so normal. Am I just too much in my head? One theory is that I am generally very confident in my conversational and speaking skills, but maybe all this heightened anxiety is just making me hyper analyze everything I think and do?
|
OCD
|
So, I've kinda started to realize that when I'm not worrying about something, I'm questioning and worrying if I have OCD. That's something I've talked about multiple times with my posts.
But now, I'm having thoughts where in questioning if it's bpd instead. I saw mention that intrusive thoughts are also a thing in bpd, so then I got worried over it, and I researched it, and I didn't share any symptoms besides for mainly the intrusive thoughts, and some risky behavior (just impulsive spending) but nothing else really besides that. However, I've now researched it multiple times, reading the same thing over and over again to reassure myself that I don't have it, looked at forums to see if anyone's had anything similar, avoided even reading the word bpd at times, checked to see if I've done compulsions to reassure myself, and even repeated in my head "it's ocd, it's ocd" over and over again.
-_-
Exhausted.
I literally had something important that I had to do today, and *as if that wasn't draining enough*, now I'm doubting if I have OCD just because my brain grappled onto the fact that there's other disorders that have intrusive thoughts, and that it could be "something else."
Yay.
I think I've started to realize (and worry) that I vent too much, and I'm not sure if that's a compulsion or not, to be honest?
For example, with these posts, while I really appreciate having people who get what I'm dealing with, I feel as if I'm being a bit too excessive with them.
When I'm hit with a new obsession that *really* gets under my skin, I'll immediately vent about it to a friend of mine, and I've told her multiple times that I feel like I'm relying on her too much, and she just says that she'll let me know if it's too much, and that I'm fine, but I can't help but think that me venting to her has just become another way for me to alleviate some anxiety.
Because when I don't, it feels REALLY overbearing sometimes, so.
Plus, I worry about how it's affecting my relationship with her, and that it isn't healthy.
I'd be interested in knowing what you guys' thoughts on all of this is, especially the second half, in regards to me venting.
...I'd literally been focused on writing this all up until I wrote "thoughts on all of this" and thought of BPD again.
*Sigh.*
Anyways, hope you all have a good day.
Take care, everyone.
|
OCD
|
I (38M) have been diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago. I had been suspecting it for a very long time, yet believe it or not I procrastinated like crazy to get evaluated and diagnosed.
I've started medication almost instantly, and had a very good 6-8 months. Highly motivated, I got a new job, which gave me a very welcome medium-term intake of "new and exciting". But even in the prior job I was doing good, and for the first time in my life, I was making a rational move by changing jobs.
I get high on a daily basis, but usually later in the evening once the house is asleep. Last few days I got high mid-day, back to pre-medication habits.
Now I know I need help, I need to call my doctor to adjust my dosage or change medication (I use Concerta 54mg, I'm 190 pounds - is this a high dosage?). I need to see the therapist that gave me the tools to understand myself and the motivation to get diagnosed in the first time. I need to go back to the step by step, writing lists and setting timers. But instead I went on a website, probably to search for the magical solution no one can bring, and when I read through the "Tips to deal with ADHD as an adult" list, I just started crying because I'm totally overwhelmed.
I don't know what step to take first, my wife is supporting but she suffers from anxiety disorder and is pregnant, so I don't want to rely heavily on her (I should support her more). I just can't. I'm falling back in depressive and self-destruct patterns, letting my impulses get the better of me.
I'm afraid, and I just want to scream everytime I hear someone say that the first step to dealing with mental health is to ask for help... because even though I helped myself before, I'm convinced that help is not available, hard to access, that I'm not disciplined enough to deserve to be helped, or that it won't be tailored to my needs enough. I have 2 step-kids, 2 kids and expecting a fifth. I can't let my family down and put my obligations aside, which right now is the only thread making me get up in the morning.
I believe this is the first time I write these things down... the crying hasn't stopped... but I do feel a bit better.
|
ADHD
|
Has anyone had success with a therapist not certified with iocdf but who does use ERP?
I read being iocdf certified is important when looking for a therapist and mine isn't as far as I know, but she did say she has been trained by a specialist at Rogers Behavioral Health and has extensive experience with OCD. I've had 3 sessions with her and she seems knowledgeable about OCD so far but we are working on trauma so can't judge her ERP skills yet.
I'm having trouble with doubting whether I have OCD or not and she says I do which helped but reading the iocdf website they say it's a good sign to have certification with them and now I'm a bit worried! She recommended I go on this website and had trouble remembering what iocdf stands for so that kinda tells me she isn't that active with them i guess.
Not sure what to do, I guess just continue since she knows almost all about me and seems nice and experienced. Just that little detail is bothering me. What would you guys do? Continue or look somewhere else? Maybe my soon to be psychiatrist can diagnose me as well and that'd help ease my mind.
|
OCD
|
Hello community! You've been a great help for me but this the first time I (male 28) post here.
I've been suffering from real event/morality ocd for a while now. Comes and goes. However this last episode has now been going on for far longer (4 months now). I can't seem to free myself from its grip this time. I've been dating and having one night stands a lot last year. Now, I'm questioning every minute if everyone I've been with was consenting, not misrepresenting their age... I can't stop thinking I may have hurt someone/offended. I frenetically try and get in touch with people to ask them if they were happy and get reminded of their age (although knowing myself, I probably asked 6 times before meeting them). I'm constantly investigating my past to determined if I harmed someone or offended. I sometime feel like a detective trying to catch my old self.
It's constantly jumping from one memory to another. When I finally think I've solved one memory and convinced myself there is no there there, it holds on to the next one in line. I'm exhausted.
Now it's latching on something that happened 3 years ago. I went through a phase of sexting with strangers (3 or 4 people) over 3 years ago. Now I can't help but feel sick to my stomach to the thought that someone would leak our conversations, may have been misrepresenting themselves or their age.
It always revolves around sexuality, and the immense fear and disgust of ever crossing paths with someone misrepresenting their age, or someone not consenting but not being up front about it and therefore may have been harmed.
I'm so tired, so so tired of rumination, seeking reassurance, asking people from the past if I wronged them...
Help :( 😞
M.
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OCD
|
So, I'm like really electric, I'm always doing something, I can't wait for my own turn, I'm always fidgeting, etc etc and people called my hyperactive as a joke when I was a kid. I also always had troubles with focusing on tasks, especially reading, but that didn't matter that much and they weren't that bad, but as I entered my teenage years, they've gotten significantly worse and I feel like everyone hates me for being like this, and it's also one of they key factors that's making me go from top of the class to one of the worse. My parents also probably don't want me to have ADHD and they don't believe me when I say I can't focus on stuff, no matter how hard I try. They always bring up how I focus so much on drawing and gaming, and even I don't know how I'm able to focus on those. I can also remember a lot of stuff that nobody else remembers that happened years ago, but I can't remember simple things I need to do or just did. This has been making my life hell and I need something to help me with them while I can't get medical treatment, help!
|
ADHD
|
I’m not using this for purposes of a diagnosis or anything, I wanted to see what possible symptoms of OCD I may not have learned about, and I found a lot.
Almost all of these subtypes describe perfectly how I have been feeling every single day, what all of my anxiety stems from, and what all of my depression stems from. It was so accurate and helped me realize things about myself and make connections, and I will definitely be bringing up OCD concerns at my intake appointment with my next psychiatrist.
I would like to see how much the info/questions are legitimately connected to OCD and the subtypes, has anyone taken this [quiz](https://ocdtest.com/the-ocd-sub-type-test/)
|
OCD
|
I(27f) was talking to a guy(32m) online for about a month, we were only interested in being fwb for now. We agreed to meet for a walk in the park and before that he kept asking if we could do some sexual stuff on the walk. I vetoed that straight away. I am not comfortable with any kind of PDA, let alone do sexual stuff in some bushes in a park. He persisted but I kept saying no.
We met for our walk, we briefly hugged awkwardly, and I knew straight away from his speech that he was neurodivergent in someway too. Neither of us had said anything online so I then told J about my Aspergers and ADHD and he told me he had aspergers too. He was diagnosed as a young boy after his mum realised he had it, so had grown up with it whereas I was diagnosed last December at 26 after realising myself that I had it.
It quickly became clear that we were in different places on the spectrum. He has severe speech issues, I had a very hard time understanding him. We talked about moving out of our parents houses, me when I've cleared my large debts, J was never going to. He never outright said it, but it was implied that he wouldn't be able to live alone. He'd had a lot of assistance growing up, and while he did have a job as a dustbin man, his parents handled all other aspects of his life: cooking, cleaning, and even though he works, his dad still controls his finances, he has to ask his dad to pay when he wants something.
I was happy to see the date through and be just friends but I no longer wanted the benefits. Honestly it feels like I'd be taking advantage of him. I dont know if I'm being silly, but that's what it felt like.
To be fair, it wasn't just that. He kept trying to get me to go off somewhere out of the way like behind a storage shed and kept trying to hug me even though I said multiple times I was not comfortable with it. He also had an obvious erection the whole time, and I struggled to look at his face. I'm usually quite good at eye contact, years of practice, but when I looked at J I felt like he was seeing me naked and I didn't like it. I felt so uncomfortable that I steered our walk back to the car park after less than an hour as a panic attack was building up and on the verge of exploding. I felt like I had to get out of there ASAP or I was going to die. Ridiculous I know, but I was fighting the urge to run and holding back tears on my way back.
Looking back I think it was that he kept hugging me even though I said to stop. Maybe that's a part of his Aspergers, to be overly affectionate. I don't know. I just know I don't want to be that uncomfortable again.
He's asked to see me again and I've been vague with my answers. I feel like I should give him another chance because I'd want someone to give me that chance and I don't want to be unfair to a fellow aspie, but also like no won't mean no to him and he'll keep trying to push me.
Has anyone else ever been in a situation like this before? Sorry if it's a bit confusing, it made sense in my head but I don't think I wrote it out clearly.
Edit: thank you all for your advice. I have left him a message explaining I was uncomfortable with his behaviour and why and have now blocked him on everything. I am actually hugely relieved. I was dreading meeting up again. Thanks again :).
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aspergers
|
I have just finished my first ketamine infusion as a treatment for my PTSD.
My background is military, contacting and 11 years as a paramedic so my issues run deep, not to even mention the childhood experiences.
Today was the first full day that I have been 100% anxiety free. I cried harder than I ever have because I didnt know how to respond to the overwhelmingly pure unadulterated happiness. My whole world has changed for the better. I just wanted to share my experiences to maybe help someone else.
Thanks for the support
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ptsd
|
29F. Made a throwaway account just for this post because I'm sitting on my couch alone at almost 3AM with no way to let this out. My life is falling apart and I have nothing and no one left. Going through a nasty breakup (we live together) that's tearing me to shreds, and as a result I'm not talking to my parents either. Now I have to figure out how to move on with my life with literally no emotional support. I don't have friends to lean on, and no family to lean on either. I've wanted to kill myself more times throughout my life than I can count, and I feel that way now. I would do it if I wasn't such a little bitch. I can't eat, can't sleep even though I'm exhausted. I'm just at a point where I'm so hurt and depressed that I don't even know what to do with myself. I really just don't want to live anymore.
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depression
|
I find it extremely hard to have a remotely good opinion of myself. I don't think I ever achieved anything significant, some people told me that I'm gifted in certain areas yet I've never won a price or distinction in anything, I didn't really accomplished anything either socially, professionally, in term of sports, or study, or art. How can I not feel like a burden when I know that I'm absolutely unremarkable and don't make anyone feel any special emotion?
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depression
|
I've been prescribed these. They're supposed to help with my sleeping pattern and anxiety, but will it help with my concentration? Because that's my main concern.
I really want to go to uni next year, but I'm having really bad brain fog. I just want to be mentally sharper because people think I'm idiot until they get to know me.
I've tried melatonin before. Has anyone tried propranolol before?
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ADHD
|
My life feels utterly pointless
I feel totally useless
Completely worthless
I can’t wait to sleep at 6
The more I’m not awake the better
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depression
|
Anyone else dealing with a partner/spouse who does not give grace for ADHD?
My husband refuses to acknowledge this is how my brain works. He actually uses the phrase "how my brain works" against me so i dont say it anymore. He has his own rejection sensitivity issues, so every time I forget to do something he takes it as a form of rejection. When I tell him i'm sorry and I understand why he is frustrated, he goes off on a rant about how I should just "be better" and not do these things. Little things like forgetting to turn off a fan when I leave the room. I'm at my wits end with it. I am exhausted from trying to overcompensate for my ADHD all the time.
I told him recently I was adding a task to my "things to do before leaving the house" mental list and he got so upset. He was like "I'm not a part of a list, these are things that just need to get done." But he doenst understand that if I dont go through a mental checklist then something will not get done. He sees it as me reducing him to a "task." And it was just a chore around the house, nothing directly related to his happiness.
I read about all these people with supportive partners and I'm so jealous. I do understand that my ADHD can be really hard to live with - like, I know, I've lived with it my whole life - and I feel bad that it affects him, but he straight up rejects the diagnosis and says its just me not caring. And he has said himself that he thinks he may have it (he probably does honestly), but he wont go get a diagnosis because he doesnt think it's necessary. His manifests differently though.
I dont want to leave him but I'm worried that its never going to get any better. He is straight up mean about it. I've tried to explain that being mean isn't going to work, but thats how HE fixes things for himself, so he assumes it works for me.
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ADHD
|
I've hurt so many people with this. I know every word you ever said to me, I know your favorite jacket, I like you a lot but when I need to call you no name pops into my head. I'm sorry to all the people I've offended this way. Anybody else remembers everything about a person but their fucking name?
|
aspergers
|
I suffer from adhd. Every night around the time everyone else goes to bed I like to paint my miniatures. I hyperfocus on them and listen to stories.
It is my favorite thing to do. But I feel like I have to wait till no one else can bother me to do it.
But every night my sister wakes up gets upset and tells me to go to bed. It takes a lot of will too. I have tried painting earlier. But it feels like others rely on me for help. When I do paint I paint for hour son end as it makes me happy and I like the solitude and quiet. But when I do it during the day everyone is awake.
I don't know how to feel about all this. While I do have my own personal art room. I will spend hours and then unknowingly stay up till 2 am. Plus it feels like my older sister treat some like a child and demeans me. She does this for some other time related things. But specifically going to bed.
I feel like at times it could be emotional abuse. But on the other hand I should sleep but I'm not tired yet.
|
ADHD
|
Hi there :D
Basically I'm an artists in college, I really want to start posting my art online more and posting a webcomic consistently. My issue is whenever this happens I always start doing it, stop for a month, pick it up again, and maybe post once a year. I don't want to keep feeling stuck in this cycle of on and off ya know?
I can post my art in discord servers consistently without issue, it's posting it on social media that's hard. I'll go months without posting:( ,I want to be able to build a following on social media. But I can barely even post !
I think it's because on discord servers I get instant feedback, but things like Twitter and Instagram I'm so small that I get unmotivated super fast. It's mostly just friends liking.
So does anyone know how to be able to keep posting consistently with adhd? I don't want my art account or web comic to become another unfinished project! It really makes me nervous, especially since im so busy I don't always have time to post or to Draw. I've only drawn 13 panels or so and it's Been a month :/ I don't want to forget about the project and take years to finish a chapter.
Tldr: artists in college is struggling posting their art on social media consistently, can post in discord serves easily because of the instant feedback. Doesn't want to keep doing this and doesn't want their web comic to suffer the same fate. So how do you consistently post art/ make art with adhd ?
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ADHD
|
i’ve had the dry, flaky, sensitive hands from excessive hand washing/sanitizing. i’ve had the acne scars and discoloration from picking at my skin. i’ve had the scratches that burn in the shower and when i sweat from itching, and i’ve had the raw skin of my fingertips exposed from so much peeling and picking at my fingernails and skin. i’ve even had temporary hearing loss from accidentally poking at my ear drum during compulsive ear cleaning.
the latest consequence? nose bleeds from compulsively picking my nose. which is SO embarrassing. but today, i went to wipe my nose and *so much blood* showed up on the tissue as i pulled away. i was mortified. thick, red blood. i cringe remembering it. thankfully the nose bleed was short, but i’m pretty sure it was a result of dry nose from picking at it so much. i’m really embarrassed it got to this point at all.
i wish i could stop. i’m trying to stop. i know that even though these behaviors are soothing in the moment, it doesn’t do anything for me in the long term. but i just wanted to share this with y’all, because where the hell else would i be able to talk about this, lol. i’m sure some of you will find it gross, but i don’t care, because i’m fully aware of that and actively trying to not do it. hopefully someone else could relate to this though. idk.
stay safe everyone x
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OCD
|
Recently, me and my friends decided to study together on google meet, were we explain concepts to each other and learns tgings.but this was my first time of knowing hands-on on how much i was lacking in compared to others. they seems to be able to learn things pretty quickly while i have to try a three ir four times more un order to get that into my brain. and my mind feels...weird., like it's a mess and it's much more visible when i am trying to learn with them. which is weird because it has not happened when i tried to study individually (or maybe it did, but i couldn't grasp what was happening in my brain at that time).
But the main problem arises when i am trying to answer questions, especially during interviews. its like the concepts are clear in my mind and I know the answer to that question but i have to for more than 5 sec just to organise it and then answer it, which works in some cases but most of the time this delay in answering the question causes panic and i just mess up my answer at the end. i really want to improve this habit of mine, but couldn't find the right way to fix it. if anyone had experienced the same thing and has overcome it, can you please share those tips.it would be really really helpful.
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ADHD
|
A question to men on the spectrum. Was it something your partner was nagging you for or you were pursuing the idea yourself? After how many years/months of dating?
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aspergers
|
Hey...so I'm not sure if this will help anyone else but I notice that it's really hard to find exposures to do for less "common" obsessions. I've been in therapy for a while now and it's really helping...just thought I'd share some things that my therapist and I have stumbled on for exposures that might help some of you too.
**For sensorimotor (breathing):**
I find mindfulness stuff has been really helpful...I have to listen to a meditation and then tolerate the uncertainty that I might feel my breathing forever. Here's a grounding exercise (a good way to start if you feel you can't do a meditation yet): [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ao4xdDK9iE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ao4xdDK9iE) it prompts you to take a deep breath at the start. Here's a playlist of little animations/meditations by Headspace: [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW8o3\_GFoCBNANhsWEDgRbyXGyjg2nPtR](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW8o3_GFoCBNANhsWEDgRbyXGyjg2nPtR) Here's a meditation that mentions breath: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQ\_NoYUvaGY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQ_NoYUvaGY) and here's a few that are breath-related [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEfs5TJZ6Nk&list=PLZnnWZRQ21N4X4WwIsOySx2YdY0aWCM55&index=3](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEfs5TJZ6Nk&list=PLZnnWZRQ21N4X4WwIsOySx2YdY0aWCM55&index=3) (3 min long) and [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cp7pnHCY94U&list=PLZnnWZRQ21N4X4WwIsOySx2YdY0aWCM55&index=1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cp7pnHCY94U&list=PLZnnWZRQ21N4X4WwIsOySx2YdY0aWCM55&index=1) (10 min long) Finally, here's 10 min of paced deep breathing: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXItOY0sLRY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXItOY0sLRY)
**For moral obsessions:**
Exposures for these are REALLY hard. I struggle with thoughts about being racist/sexist/homophobic/ableist etc... so my main exposure is reading articles that trigger the obsessions. Start with a factual article, like a news article, then go to a controversial opinion. I've been challenging myself by going to r/unpopularopinion sometimes. The key is to NOT give in to the mental compulsions around this...say "Yeah, I probably am (racist/insert your obsession here) and sit with the discomfort. Or say an intrusive thought out loud or write it down. I use little cue cards and put them up around my room. Similar idea goes for feeling responsible for others' actions/lives. If you feel the need to ask someone if they're ok every 5 minutes so they don't get sick, write down "My dad will get sick because of me" and stare at it. If you have to give in, only ask them every 15 minutes.
**For health/bodily feelings obsessions:**
Trigger the feelings! Force yourself to think thoughts like "Yes OCD, I might have (ex. schizophrenia). Or even "I have schizophrenia. It is ruining my life" Then sit with the awful feelings it brings up...don't do any compulsions for at least 5 minutes. Do things that you think might bring on the symptoms you are scared of for increasingly long amounts of time. If you are really struggling, find a way to give into the compulsions somewhat, but not entirely...so you can research schizophrenia for 10 min, but then you have to put your phone down and go do that housework you've been putting off.
Hope this essay helped someone! Obviously I'm not a therapist...just sharing what has worked for me.
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OCD
|
Not even when I feel drained, I hate feeling like it's work for people to come talk to me. Sometimes I want to apologize when I'm about to talk with a person, or even finished talking with them.
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aspergers
|
Looking back at it, the times I tried to date people felt more like a social test to potentially get some social points instead of genuinely trying to create a new friendship.
Also, how do I even date? I never know when to initiate stuff like hand holding or moving closer or any of that cuz I’ve never genuinely wanted to do that yet. Also also, when should I even say that if I do try to date someone? Saying that on an early date makes it seem like I only expect the other person to be interested in sex, which would be insulting I’d think.
Idk. Social rules are wack
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aspergers
|
I feel like this nightmare just won’t end. Whenever I start to get over this I feel like my mind throws something new at me. I was sexually abused by a guy five months ago. But now I’m wondering if I was the abuser or if I’m having a huge OCD attack (22F).
(FOR THOSE WHO KNOW THE STORY YOU CAN SKIP TO THE ASTERIXES)
My highschool crush swiped me on a dating app. I was over the moon. I told him before even meeting him that I wanted to “get up to no good” with him (I wanted to hookup). Something that I ignored was that he was always drinking, and I had to make an excuse that I had a medical issue to stop him from making me feel bad about the fact that I didn’t drink.
We hooked up but didn’t go all the way (he was drunk on this night too). I told him that I was a virgin and he was shocked but really understanding. He gave me a pep talk about how girls get very emotional and I need to sort that out before I do anything with him. I thought I had found the person I wanted to do it with.
I was wrong. As things progressed his behaviour changed. He ignored pictures that I would send him which he would usually compliment me for. He stopped messaging me at civil timings and only called me at 3am, sometimes apologising for ignoring me and begging me to come see him. I would usually say no but my insecurity about being a virgin got the best of me.
The night that we went all the way he behaved like a completely different person. He threw the condom at me when I asked him to find one. He was critical and dominant. He was very drunk and being mean. He put me in positions that were really painful.
He barely cared about my pain. He refused to go down on me when I asked him to and said he only did it to partners which left me feeling worthless. I didn’t ask again after he said he won’t go down on me. But I was really hurt especially because he didn’t tell me beforehand that he doesn’t do this and I had been going down on him the entire time.
I tried to pretend like nothing happened but I’m lowkey insane now because of this experience. I’m on antidepressants and going through trauma counselling. I’ve blocked him. But now I regret it big time. I want my virginity back. I feel damaged and ruined. ****
Now I’m wondering- am I the abuser? I was 100% sober (I wasn’t drinking at all) every time I saw him. I only gave him consent saying “yeah” when he asked me if I “wanted him to fuck me” and if “I was sure”? Something that I ignored was that he was always drinking, and I had to make an excuse that I had a medical issue to stop him from making me feel bad about the fact that I didn’t drink.
Should I have asked him for consent as well before we did anything? I thought it was a yes from him since he was the one who asked me? In fact, should I have even hooked up with him on any occasion if I knew that he was constantly drunk every single time I saw him which made him incapable of giving consent?
Also the night that we had sex he told me to “calm down” twice when I tried to take his shirt off. I was just being passionate by trying to get it off but I didn’t force him and I let him take the lead because I just thought maybe he wanted to be in control and didn’t like that I initiated hooking up or that I was taking control. I let him do whatever he wanted after this and I listened to him. He took things further and he made me undress so I’m kind of confused like did he want me or not? I’m wondering did he say “calm down” because I was making him uncomfortable and he didn’t want to have sex?
I feel horrible. I want to unblock him and apologise to him for taking advantage of him. In fact I’ll even let him do whatever he wants to me because I deserve it for using and abusing him. My mind keeps saying that I assaulted someone during my first time and that I don’t deserve to be here. Have I raped this man? He’s also 22 just FYI- but he’s older than me.
EDIT: I’ve just unblocked him but I haven’t contacted him yet. I want to die I feel like this is all my fault.
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OCD
|
I'm currently on vacation at the moment and I've been finding it tough. I have too much time to think and not enough going on to distract myself. There's a lot of idle time. I often find myself ruminating without the hussle and bustle of work and the social element it brings. I'm probably a bit isolated on this vacation too.
How important is it to stay busy? Do you have tips for the more quiet moments in your life? I'd hate to think that I should continue working as much as I can for the rest of my life just for the sake of distraction.
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OCD
|
With pocd and harm ocd i always get triggered about EVERYTHING, if I saw the news about a rapist, a killer or a pedophile my mind says "you could be that person" "what if I did this and I don't remember?".
And I can't watch shows about serial killers because I thing i will become one.
Someone who experiences the same?
|
OCD
|
https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2021-11-18/uc-slams-door-on-sat-and-all-standardized-admissions-tests
What do you think of their decision, particularly with how this might affect the college chances of students with ADHD?
Speaking from my personal experience and people I know, it's not uncommon for ADHD students to have their grades dragged down from missed or late work regardless of their comprehension for a subject, which makes the standardized tests surprisingly helpful in demonstrating their aptitude at school without the baggage of long-term organization. On the other hand, sitting down for a long exam can be difficult for anyone with ADHD, even with accommodations in place, which might bias it against some people.
|
ADHD
|
So I've recently started being treated with Adderall with great success and actually would say that for the first time in my life, things finally make a lot more sense for me. That being said, I've been having a few reservations about my psychiatrist, and in asking for what my actual diagnosis is, she said she'd agree that it's "ADD since the medication is working."
​
Isn't ADD an outdated term? From what I've read, it seems like ADD is now just an outdated term to describe ADHD-Inattentive Subtype. This isn't the only issue that I've had with this doctor, but this, in particular, is worrying just because I feel like getting treated by someone who doesn't really understand these things would end up being more damaging than helpful. This is all very new to me, and trying to navigate this as an adult is both enlightening, relieving, and terrifying. Is this normal? Is this a red flag for my psychiatrist? Any help would be appreciated!
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ADHD
|
I have CPTSD and Tourette’s. While I’m driving there is too much time to myself to think and I often have a flashback which triggers dissociation or tics. I can drive safely but I’m worried a police officer is going to see my car jerk or drift and pull me over. I have a VERY hard time lying and so if this happens I’d probably be truthful about it. Would they take my license away for that? I’m in the US.
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ptsd
|
I have experienced some weird stuff lately. My first language its not english, so I watch series with subtitles on. If I didn’t understood 1 word from a sentance I have to rewind. I rewind an episode a lot. Lately, it has gotten worst. If I talk to someone and I didn’t understand a word I can’t stop, I have to ask the person to repeat. Its like I cand relax if I dont know that word. Its very annoying.
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OCD
|
The law of attraction basically states what you put out into the world is what you will get. Think positive and positive comes your way however think negative and negative outcomes come your way.
Unfortunately for me, and I believe others with OCD, will find that school of thought terrifying. We are burdened with intrusive thoughts. To think that negative outcomes will come out way simply because of thoughts that abruptly came into our heads is scary.
I live like this daily thinking that my intrusive thoughts will come real simply because I thought it and if I don't complete my ritual it will surely be true.
I wish I could break this cycle. It's debilitating.
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OCD
|
How do you study and RETAIN information? I literally study for hours on end, and still end up getting a bad grade. It’s not fair how some people look over it once and get a A+. What are your best studying tips and routines? They would be of a lot of help for me and others on this sub. Thank you! VvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvV
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ADHD
|
Whenever fall comes around i get the worse ocd/anxiety/ depression.
However with covid last year and starting a new job those 2 past year were hectic so my mental illness was taking a backseat.
But this year everything settled down which is just a bad combination for my ocd. So i am getting these premonition of my ocd getting bad ( like i used to get) i am just not ready for it to get bad lol
i used to have a routine for this time of year i cut out coffee, sugar and made sure my b12, vitamin d were within a healthy range.
There was no point in this point sorry, i just wanted to “talk” i guess
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OCD
|
Hi all,
Recently had a conversation with a friend of mine who is a pediatric psychiatrist and she mentioned the medication management for ADD/ADHD is significantly different in children than adults. As a 30 something who has not been on ADHD medications (but has gone through periods in adulthood where I probably should have been) I’m curious.
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ADHD
|
Hello, guys. I'm a 22 y.o. male with diagnosed ASD, currently undergoing med school. Since the pandemic outbreak, we've been having on-line classes. While it felt good in the beggining, it's become a pain to me in the last few months.
As paradoxical as it may seem, I probably feel as tired if not more tired than ever, even though we are obviously having a much easier time, as well as more free time due to the fact that we don't need to leave home. Even sleeping 10+ hours a day is not enough right now.
Despite all the advantages, I simply cannot understand anything or pay proper attention to any of the classes. While I had had problems before, mainly due to OCD, I am completely healed from it by now, so that's not a reasonable explanation. I simply cannot pay attention to a class of 80 people with a teacher reading 100+ slides nonstop during 2-3 hours.
I feel so completely tired, despite not doing anything actually exhausting, that I can't even read 10 pages of a book I enjoy without sleeping, even during daytime hours. And I always loved to read, I remember reading even long books like Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment in just a few days. So lack of interest is not the cause.
I really don't like having to spend 8+ hours in the internet, I feel it probably affects my sleeping/eating patterns in ways I cannot even comprehend. But I cannot fully avoid it. I've been skipping some classes, like pretty much everyone else, but even the ones I go to are completely unproductive. I am getting lowkey desperate at this point.
While I know I can pass the exams with no problems, not being able to properly learn is unacceptable to me. I considered even taking methylphenidate, but I have never been diagnosed with ADHD, and the fact that I used to have OCD means that it could cause some bad side effects on me. The psychologist I went to denied outright that I may have ADHD, mainly due to the fact that I was a top student during high school and due to the fact that I performed relatively well on the Stroop test. He said that the reason I cannot pay attention to some classes is due to ASD's cognitive inflexibility and lack of interest. But sometimes I feel I may have ADHD, since I actually wanted to pay attention to some classes and I can't. My grades have gotten much worse since high school, both in absolute terms and relative to other people.
I cannot fully discard underlying medical conditions, like hypothyroidism, anaemia, etc, but I really don't believe that's the case, because I am quite fit at the moment and my physical conditioning is slighly above average, even for my age. If I had such problems, that probably wouldn't be the case.
Is anyone going through a similar experience? Has anyone managed to adapt to this sort of class?
I am sorry for the long post, but whatever help or feedback you guys can offer would be highly appreciated.
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aspergers
|
Hi there 👋🏼
I’ve been diagnosed for depression and anxiety issues about six years ago but the last 8 months I realised what real depression means… I begun thinking differently so I diagnosed to OCD too…at the begging I didn’t know what to do… I cried so hard and I had so much anxiety that I vomited about 2-3 times a day… I got better but then I started thinking bad thoughts about myself again… I got better…. But again pain, bad thoughts about myself, “you deserve nothing”, “you make everyone tired being like that”… we tried so many things with pills with my doctor (she has been my doctor about 5 years) until she proposed to get a second opinion from another doctor…
Its a new start but my pain stays and I’m exhausted feeling that way… I sometimes wonder why would this happens to me??? I know I’m not the only one… and other people have more serious issues but I feel lonely and that no ones gets it… I don’t know if I’m going to be better… I don’t know who I am anymore… I’m just sad and I know that I don’t love myself
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depression
|
This refers to love towards family, friends, or a partner. Since I could remember I always knew that the way I felt towards all those around me was different. Relationships, even the strongest like between my mother or sister, all have a sort of asterisk over them where I know I can just drop anyone from my life and it would not affect me after a short time. I have had multiple partners and I know I can care for them and be a great boyfriend but I know that if anything even slightly bad were to occur or if I found the relationship mildly inconvenient for a second I can just end it and leave like nothing every really happened. All my life I always end up leaving all my friends without hesitation after I start another chapter of life. After high school, after college, after med school, the same stuff. I make these amazing friends that genuinely love and care for me but it is too easy for me to just let them go when I move on to the next chapter of life. Same with my family, I care for them I really do but I know that I could go on without them quite easily and not even miss them much. It feels like I can never fully attach feelings with anyone. I want to know what is the extent of this? Will I be able to marry someone and be capable of a long term marriage? What about having kids? It scares me because I want to be a happily married husband and father. But since my earliest memories all I can remember is me being this way. At this point I may not fully understand this and that is why I want to talk to other aspies to see if this is something some may feel and get to the bottom of it. I want to understand what this truly is and if it is something I can work on for the future.
|
aspergers
|
So, I dont know how to put this clearly. But sometimes I get myself in a situation where I make things 50 times harder to solve by acting like I do. I accept this of myself.. mostly, but my wife does not agree. She thinks I am capable enough and shouldnt just accept that "I am the way I am", because I hold myself back from improving that way.
This came up in a discussion because my car wouldnt start. I drove it to work and had a very busy shift and when I got back to my car it just wouldnt turn on. I dont really know why, but this is a situation I have never been in, so I dont inmedeatly know the right way to solve it. Do I lift the hood? Do I ask people to help? Do I call a service? Do I leave for home by bus and come back another day to solve it? So much good options and before I know it, I choose the dumbest one.. leave for home by bus. Its a split decision, made in haste, as I see that the local bus is almost comming. I sit down in the bus and start doubting my decision right away. Should I turn back? Keep going? Why am I leaving in first place? Isnt it better to deal with it now? Can I deal with it now? So much confusion. So I decide to call my wife. She, offcourse, sends me directly back to the car to fix it and gives me five good options on how to go about it. I get of the bus in a hurry, now a half an hour walk away from my car and angry with myself for not handling it correctly from the start. End of story, car gets fixed by a car service with not even to much trouble and I can get on my way.
In this story I am feeling like I cant always change this sort of thing. 9 out 10 times I find a solution or give myself enough time to not get overwhelmed and then fix it. But the tenth time is a whirlwind of missed oppurtunities and bad decisions and somehow I cant put my finger on how to solve thay 10th time. So I accept it as me being an adhd'r. But my wife gets mad when I put it like this and says its not necesarry just accept this and it makes her wonder/doubt if I will walk away from harder to solve problems too in the future, so I should fix this and see that I can fix it. It feels unfair to me, because I feel I cannot always be perfect and there will alway be fuck ups because of of I am/my adhd.
Am I being immature here and hiding myself behind my adhd or do I have a point in how I feel about it? Not trying to one up my wife here, but trying to sort my emotions from reality. Do you guys have some thoughts?
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ADHD
|
For me it's the realisation that everyone has probably been laughing at me (I now suffer from - gelotophobia) since I was a child, and I was completely oblivious to why that might have been. Whether it be the stuff I just randomly said, whether it be the emotionless looks on my face.
When I look back at my life, this is the reason behind my trauma. What about you?
|
aspergers
|
I dont really know if this or /r/suicideWatch are the right place to make this post. I hate how I am such a mess. I am fearing about falling in love with a person I recently met and the fact of why I am so stupid, idiot. I am such a loner that even when for the first time someone appears to be interested in me I probably ruin everything because I am not used to relationships.
I hate myself and really want to die. I should only kill myself.
|
depression
|
So I had a thought earlier that my gf is the love of my life and she really is. But when I had said that in my head idk what kind of expression I had on my face but it seemed like a bland one. I've been getting intrusive thoughts for a bit of time now. I was in an accident last month with my gf. But this had me freaked out today that I didn't really smile or anything when I thought about her being the love of my life and it's upsetting me.
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OCD
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I think I'm one-track minded. I quickly gain proficiency at something and get very good at it. Then I lose interest and suddenly it's like I've never done it before. It's like as soon as I change focus I forget how to do it altogether. Is this an Asperger's thing?
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aspergers
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Hey, people! Hope everyone is vibing good!
I just wanted to share with you that I (27M) moved from my hometown just a few months ago. This represents a huge step, since I leave behind a city which brings memories of constant margination and abuse.
The downside tho, has been how hard is to find a job where I now live, even if I've done my best to mask my symptoms, it just feels that shit is going down at the end of the day and nobody wants to hire me lol.
That's why I would really like to share with you a "poem-story"/parody which would basically summarise the struggle of having to deal with interviews while masking/hiding social anxiety symptoms.
Ps. Sorry for my English, since I'm more of a native Spanish speaker, some terms or concepts might be mistranslated. May you have a good night!
Anything, but having to look into people’s eyes, faking a smile, acting out with my hands.
It’s not like interaction is something complicated for me, it’s just that I feel it to be vain.
“Good evening, nice to meet you” it’s the beginning of a monotonous script.
“I’ve worked in other previous shity jobs, which reflect my self steem”
Probably the HR employee behind the desk has had enough.
He left his dignity boiling in the stove of a corporation who he represents but also despises
“In that case, why would you just come to apply for a job, if you find it to be so bothersome?”
“Because I was once told that I had to be productive in order to be happy”
The unhappy man in charge of the interviews places his fingers on his temples.
“Do you realise how simplistic your posture is”?
I look at the wall, like seeking for an answer that I won’t ever find.
“Absolutely”
The interviewer breaths deeply. He smiles.
“You start on Monday morning”.
*Edit 1*: Wow, thank you for the award! It has been a hard day today, getting just a one hour sleep and still having to go to a job interview, so this is really a mood game changer!
*Edit 2*: Just received a call today. GOT HIRED! AAAAAAAW. THE EUPHORIA IT'S ABSOLUTE. Thank you guys for your support!
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aspergers
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Whenever you get intrusive thoughts, just turn your OCD into an imaginary person, sitting or standing right across from you.
This makes it easier for me, at least, to reason with the thoughts. I imagine an evil version of myself in all black clothing, reminding me what my thoughts are. Asking me if I want to do what my thoughts are telling me to do.
Although my therapist told me to do this, it was really the show Mr. Robot that inspired me to reason with someone in my head. (I highly suggest you watch Mr. Robot by the way).
Sometimes i’ve even become friends with my OCD in the end. Sometimes I tell him; “I know what you’re up to, but remember, I am you and you are me. Everything that you are saying is false, and you’re only telling me this because my subconscious is telling you to, so let’s quit it for now, ok?” This usually works in the end.
Another thing that works is giving your OCD a name. For example if i were to name my OCD Brian, and i got an intrusive thought, all i’d have to say is “fuck off brian >:)”. This helps more than you know.
Good luck everyone :)
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OCD
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I finally saw a psych today for my adhd, and made a significant effort to unmask (a rare occasion for me). I’ve been fairly certain of my self-dx autism for a while now after many many months of research, asking about my childhood, introspection, etc etc — but I was still shocked that, after I talked during the session about what I saw as my ADHD symptoms without mentioning autism at all, my psych first brought up how she believes I have “high functioning” autism/aspergers, and we should use that framework for my treatment (she also referred me to specialists in my city).
Before prescribing me any ADHD meds, it seems she wants to get my anxiety (stemming largely from neurodivergence) under control. I’ve always been very certain I don’t want SSRIs, but the psychiatrist was so spot on about many things during our talk, I’m going to give it a try. She started me on the lowest dose and I’m going to begin tomorrow.
Does anyone have any advice? How has your experience with zoloft been? I have a really bad social anxiety problem and a bit of agoraphobia, sensory related anxiety of course, and ADHD related procrastination anxiety. I also have cPTSD. I didn’t see anxiety as my main issue, and I was really hoping to get adhd medication, but I suspect she’s right to have me try this first?
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aspergers
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I’m 24 years old and have just been diagnosed with ADHD. I live with both my parents as it has been too expensive to move out and live by myself. My father is very understanding and patient with me, but my mother? Not so much.
I always had a problem when it came to doing chores, especially when my mother would say, “Do this right now.” I would usually respond with, “No” or “I’ll do it later” which of course isn’t good enough for her. I tried time and time again to explain to her that she can’t demand something to be done right there, right now, as it does a lot to my brain (someone I know pointed me to Pathological Demand Avoidance, which sometimes is found in Autism but also can be found in ADHD), but she says I’m making “excuses” to not do a chore and “Could you ever answer with just ‘Yes I’ll do it’ and not give me a hard time?”
It’s getting to the point where I’m fed up with her not at least TRYING to change the way she speaks to me so I can actually do chores. My father found a way to do it (He says “If you get the chance, please can you do xyz” and it works every single time).
What are some resources I can share with my mother that lets her know that she NEEDS to change the way she speaks to me so it doesn’t affect any of my mental health illnesses?
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ADHD
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Every time I hangout with people I just completely embarrass myself. I talk so much way too fast and I overshare. I'm definitely eccentric and quirky which I HATE! I want to be calm and normal. The only way I can do that is if I don't say anything.
I know people think I'm weird and annoying. People have always said that.
I've had a couple close friends (3) and 2 of them dumped me via text message.
I would just love to have social cues ... which I seem to be obviously missing :(
Can anyone else related ??
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ADHD
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I need help I’ve been stressing for days now. My brain all of sudden thought of a situation between me and a family member that I know never happened. But now my brain is dwelling on it. My thoughts even made up a specific day and month
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OCD
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I just saw a beautiful girl /woman but she looked too young to be 18 and I started panicking so badly... She is dead gorgeous but I can't tell her age.... I can never tell anyone's age
She had really soft features.. But to me, she seemed too young? I'm not sure....
I hate this... I hate feeling attracted to younger traces.... It make me feel like a p.
I want to throw up...
I immediately searched her profile to see what age she was but she didn't disclose it anywhere. The most I saw was she was a senior... (idk what it means. I'm not American)
Pls help
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OCD
|
Here some advice i wish someone gave to me back when i was a teenager:
Dont trust anyone. I cant emphasize this enough. People are not what they seem to be. It is not like they say, that it's a result of some great ignorance that there is so much suffering in the human world. People dont care. In fact they enjoy the pain, suffering and humiliation of others. Read about serial killers, this is the extreme. You, as a hypersensitive person, represent the other extreme. Most people are something from the between. But the average people are not like you anymore than they are like those serial killers. You can (and will) become like them up to a point. But you are not going to like the process.
Theres no reason to let your ego bloat over being different. In many ways you are just a pathetic weakling. You have been born with several very critical weaknesses in comparison to others. You have to learn to compensate. I cant stress this enough. Learn to compensate. Learn to work hard and then work hard. Your survival depends on it.
That's pretty much it.
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aspergers
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I want to start off by saying that this might be potentially triggering.
This is a relatively new development for me, but it's distressing to say the least.
Up until about...a month ago? if I completed a compulsion incorrectly, I would simply have to do it again. It was emotionally difficult to keep getting stuck in loops like that, but it was manageable.
Now, my brain has decided that we need to cancel out the "failed" attempts and punish myself at the same time. This usually takes the form of hitting myself on the head--but always manifests as some kind of self harm. It's making it harder for me to complete my compulsions because I'm afraid of what I "have" to do if I mess up...which naturally leads to me messing up more.
I know that this is something that I need to nip in the bud now before it becomes a much bigger self harm problem, but I don't even know where to begin. I was in treatment with an OCD specialist for a couple of months but had to pause treatment indefinitely because of financial issues.
I guess I'm just looking for other people's similar experiences and/or any advice with how to control this. TYIA!
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OCD
|
I have been having some random urges lately to just kill myself in moments when I truly believe I feel happy, for example, if I am talking to to friends in public or talking to my girlfriend, I always have this urge to just end it all and don't care about how other people might take that decision, I'm not in a depressive state at all for now, but I was in the past, does anybody feel the same?
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depression
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So much has happened, I don't feel like dying anymore, I just feel vengeful, i want to live just to prove everyone wrong, I want to shove my success on the face of everyone who thought I would fail, this is my last chance if I don't succeed then I'm giving up, no one cares about me,they all want me to fail, I must prove them wrong
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depression
|
I've noticed that one of my biggest roadblocks is this idea that if I'm not able to do the task I'm supposed to be doing (usually this means studying), I can't do anything else. It's partly that I can't seem to muster up the will to do ANY of my other "supposed to" tasks (like housework or cooking and sometimes even eating), and partly that if I start doing something that would actually excite or engage me, I will get stuck on it for hours. So by avoiding a project or passion that is 'off-task' I am somehow supposedly leaving the door open for myself to get back on track. It never actually works that way though - I just get stuck following an internet rabbit hole or playing a dumb phone game for hours. Then I feel terrible because I haven't done anything at all, let alone the work I was supposed to be doing.
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ADHD
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I can't believe I did all that today lol.
How's all your night going?
🖖👽💖
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aspergers
|
I have a terrible time focusing on TV and movies. Anytime I put something on i rarely make it more than a few minutes before turning it off. Books are even worse because not only can I not focus , but I can’t translate the text to visuals in my head easily. People say TV is just not for me but I really do like movies and shows, it’s just hard for me to sit still and watch them. Am I a hopeless case?
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ADHD
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Anybody else always trying to fill themselves up with different things? I’m always trying to stay busy so that I don’t get stuck on thoughts. I read or I go for a walk or I do something. I’m tired of always having to do something. I just want to live.
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ptsd
|
maybe this post will help somebody out there, i dont know. posting this will certainly help me, though. i just need to talk about it.
during these past few weeks, i have been really trying to fully commit to ERP. before, i’d obsess so heavily on my themes that i completely avoided a lot of things. so many random things would trigger my ocd tendencies, it was better that i didn’t do much of anything at all, you know? i didn’t talk about my ocd with anyone, really. i felt like if i did, i’d say the wrong thing or people would think that i’m a fraud and doing it all for attention or something… (god, i wish i was faking it lmfao.)
anyways, i finally talked to one of my closest friends about my ocd over the phone. i sent so many walls of texts, one after the other, despite feeling so annoying for it. i also didn’t constantly reread my messages over and over again for the first time in a while. that’s a HUGE step for me, the fact that i’m actually TALKING about this. i didn’t get into the nitty gritty, but i explained how my ocd is and how i feel during an ocd-induced anxiety attack.
whenever i have an intrusive thought or whenever a specific theme takes hold in my brain, i do entertain the idea for a moment, but then i try to move on with my life instead of letting the thoughts keep me awake at night. whenever a theme begins to spiral into an anxiety attack, i tell myself that i’m not intrinsically a bad person and i begin to list off good qualities about myself. this has helped me out tremendously. no matter how dire my ocd may be effecting me, i try not to let it completely consume me like i used to.
before i go to bed every night, i tell myself that i won’t let my ocd harm me in the morning. it’s a really great motive to have, i think. even though my ocd will still exist when i wake up, it truly is the thought that counts.
since i’ve been doing ERP (on my own, i can’t afford therapy unfortunately) i can definitely tell that my ocd is not as big of a beast as it used to be a few months back. i know that at the end of the day, i’m still a good person. that i’m not annoying or hurting anybody simply by existing. that my thoughts are actually controllable in some way or another. i can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
i have a goal that by next year, my ocd won’t have such control over me anymore, if any control at all. my ocd has always been an on-and-off sort of deal ever since it manifested when i was a child. i’ll go a few years having very little to no symptoms of ocd and then a few years having severe symptoms of ocd that effect me on a daily-basis. i hope that soon i can be free again, and free once and for all.
just by posting this and not deleting it immediately is a huge step in the right direction for me. i used to be so terrified of talking about this kind of stuff, especially on a public forum. i guess my fear stems from a worry of judgement. however, i want to keep this post up forever as a huge “fuck you” to my ocd. because it doesn’t control me. i give it no weight.
feel free to drop some of your own advice below!
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OCD
|
To start off, I'm a 17-year-old with undiagnosed ADHD in my junior year of school. I've arranged an evaluation, but unfortunately, that isn't until January :( My ADHD is so severe, and my executive functioning is so impaired to the point where I absolutely cannot accomplish anything school-related anymore. I'll usually set up my work and stare at it, thinking *I'll definitely complete all of this by 11pm*, and 5 hours later I've gone down 13 different reddit rabbit holes — even though in my head sirens are going off like crazy. It's like I'm a prisoner to my own body; it's so EASY to just put the damn phone down and get to work, but I just CAN'T. My brain just says no.
So, last Monday, I had 2 tests - Spanish and Psych - to take that day. But guess what I did on Sunday? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't get myself to even open my notes... Thankfully, my parents allowed me to stay home on Monday to study as well as catch up on missing assignments (there's quite an abundance of those). But of course, I just had to have a particularly awful bad brain day. Y'know those days where your brain feels like static, and you can't get your ass up and accomplish anything no matter how many times you watch motivational videos from ADHD youtubers. Ultimately, I got nothing done on Monday and took another day off on Tuesday. I got very little done studying-wise but was able to make up some missing work at the very least. On Wednesday and Thursday, I went back and made up my psych test; my Spanish teacher was kind enough to let me make up the test on Friday. Here's the thing: I had a math test on Wednesday, and my teacher was also kind enough to extend it to Friday. And here's where I'm the worst person ever and call in sick on Friday because again executive dysfunction blocked all my shots at getting anything done. I just feel like a terrible person taking advantage of my teachers' kindness like that. They're honestly incredible people, and it's me being an irresponsible student and giving them more trouble.
Here comes the weekend...I took the ACT on Saturday and was so drained by it that I spent the rest of the day napping. Sunday was rather busy as I had 3 tutor classes in the morning, but I had the afternoon free to study for my make-up tests. And I STILL COULDN'T DO IT! It's currently Monday morning, and I'm again staying home "sick" to study. I also have like, a bucketload of assignments to do (including an essay that's overdue by 2 weeks and a DBQ due today). You know when you're so overwhelmed by the colossal amount of things you need to do that you don't know where the hell to start so you end up doing nothing at all? Yeah, I'm drowning in that right now. I'm pretty distressed, but ADHD has terrorized my life like this for so long I can't bring myself to be resentful anymore. I'll manage, somehow. Wish me luck, guys :)
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ADHD
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i never saw a kid nude. if i saw one i don't know how to react to it if i saw a girl child nude.
i don't know how to react to it if i saw a kid nude. i am worried that it might be because i am capable of molesting children
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OCD
|
I’m aware of trainspotting and its associations with Asperger’s - I was on Twitter earlier today and someone posted about loving anime public transit and I was thinking YES ME TOO but I wasn’t sure why I felt so strongly...and then something lit up in my mind and now I am laughing at myself because even if I am not into numbers/classifying/schedules for the most part (and therefore didn’t consider autism/Asperger’s a possibility for a long time!) I am indeed super into trains/public transit regardless, haha. The irony.
Why? I am female and my autism presents differently, is my best guess. Also come from a family of engineers.
Wow. Amazed I never saw it until now. This goes for my autism in general.
I love the patterns, not the numbers/specific models themselves - the order and mechanisms of the networks, the interesting signs and signals and just the flow of the whole thing. It’s like a conceptual stim, idk how else to explain it - it lights up my brain. I am not sure if it’s the trains themselves or the system concept. It’s almost like meta-trainspotting in a way (although I also love physically seeing trains/taking pictures of them and have stood under train bridges to watch them go over lol). I used to draw planes as a kid and made my own blueprints and maps and things too. I was/am fascinated by route maps. I actually googled subway tunnel signals once because I was curious how the operators know when to slow down and speed up, then I tried to read the signals in the tunnels here (no success, different system). I enjoy climbing on old retired trains and love old train tunnels/rails-to-trails and love model trains. I am probably almost the only person in Boston who likes the slow trolley “green line” too. I enjoy riding on it. It’s relaxing and there’s something satisfying about the various stops/network. Idk.
When I was a little kid I remember we would go to a restaurant where a model train drove around up near the ceiling and I would always excitedly watch for it to go past :) I’ve also always enjoyed model floor sets - not just trains, but towns and maps etc. And being *in* subway tunnels - once I figured out that if you stand in the first or last car sometimes you can see the tunnel as you’re driving through it?! I could do that for hours, probably. Don’t get me started on awesome maps of abandoned stations and tracks.
Anyone else? Is it trains specifically you love or the system or both? I like all sorts of things like this - ski gondolas, mining cars, just about anything on a track/route.
All right, this is longer than I planned...oh well.
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aspergers
|
I feel like I don’t really belong, I feel like I’m just floating in life, not really living, just existing, time is passing and I feel stuck. Everything got so complicated, so messed up that I don’t know how to get out of it all, I’m completely lost. I know I love life but I don’t like THIS life, the situation I’m in and the way I feel. It’s all so much effort, it all seems so impossible to achieve, living is as exhausting as my mood swings. I try to ignore this problem cause maybe if I act like I’m fine I will be and maybe by accepting that I’m not okay I will make it a real problem. Just wanted to get it out
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depression
|
I don’t really know how to describe this issue that I’m having, or whether or not I should post it on this specific subreddit. I (17f) was diagnosed with OCD when I was 6 years old. Over the past year and a half or so, I’ve noticed something with my hair.
I normally straighten my hair and wear it stick-straight for as long as possible. Whenever I wash my hair, it dries back into its naturally wavy pattern. Large-ish sections around my face are much more wavy than around the rest of my head. After about a day of having my hair natural, I become absolutely infuriated with it. It just... bothers me. I don’t necessarily feel it against my face or anything (at least not that I notice) but I just kind of all of a sudden can’t keep my hands out of my hair because I hate the feeling of it just sitting there all curled. It gets to the point where I have to tie my hair up, straighten it, or (if I can’t do either at the time) just have to keep pulling at it, twirling it around, ripping at it, etc. Is this something to do with OCD? Sensory issues? Anxiety? Or does it sound like something else? (Opinions are fine! I kind of just want to know what others think, as well as if anyone else deals with this)
I figured I would post this here since OCD is the main thing I imagine this is related to. I have also been diagnosed with trichotillomania (age 6), generalized anxiety disorder (age 5-6), and mild-moderate depression (age 10). I don’t have any other issues, that I know of lol. Thank you all for your input!
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OCD
|
Whenever I’m done pooping, I wipe for like 30 mins because I want to be perfectly clean down there.
I just don’t understand how people can go “good enough” and get up and leave. Am I supposed to purposely leave some poop there?
I use wet wipes too and just constantly wipe until there is nothing. I think the difference is that I dig a little deeper but shouldn’t I? Like isn’t that supposed to be cleaned too?
Anyways, I will go to therapy soon but for now I just need to not be on the toilet for 2 hours a day because I’m not eating or drinking properly because I’m scared of adding time on to my bathroom trips and it’s distracting me from schoolwork.
Thanks
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OCD
|
It feels like whenever there is a disagreement I am always at fault because I'm probably reading the situation wrong. Or overreacting. Like everyone can treat me however they like.
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aspergers
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Basically title. Have hated school for a long time and emotionally checked out too. Talked with parents about dropping out this year but had no idea what I wanted to do and it was scary. I still don't. I've had so many opportunities to pass I don't know why I didn't. Just got told that my assignment I needed to pass didn't. The teacher is really nice and at a loss for why I didn't do any of my assignments during the year and why I didn't show up to the workshops and all that. i don't know myself. It's fucking dumb. Kinda just burnt a year. All my friends are doing things and going places.
I'm aware that it's not the end of the world and all that and I'm ok so don't worry. Not depressed and I don't really get much trouble with anxiety (which might be a reason I couldn't motivate myself to pass the year). Basically I'm not gonna ruminate on this I just wanna know what to do with myself. I feel mentally healthy apart from school and trying to maintain hobbies it's jsut like why can't I fucking do these things. There's a possibility I could pass with summer school which would be good if true but also humiliating. It's just god I feel pathetic and pretty stupid for wasting so much time. Next year will be living with parents... my brother failed y13 as well and I feel like a pretty big disappointment.
There's a lot of things where it's like oh that could be cool when it comes to later life jobs but it's like if I can't even cope with high school it sorta puts a damper on all that and it's hard to think that anything will make me feel fulfilled.
I'm in nz btw so if anyone has any tips on getting into uni in spite of this that would be great.
Mainly I think I would appreciate some people sharing tips on how to have a meaningful "gap year" because I don't wanna waste next year as well. I'm gonna be working as a gardener a lot I think. Also stuff around finding what you wanna do in life, life purpose, dealing with feelings of falling behind, making friends when all of them will be going off to uni and I'll just be working.
I'm currently trying to get diagnosed but it will be like 8 months in nz so i'm looking for the fastest place to book. Looking back I've had a pretty avoidant reaction to things I have trouble with due to my possible adhd which has gotten a whole lot better with friends and stuff but not school.
Again if anyone has any thoughts or ideas on what to do in my free year, what to do in life, how to deal with failure they would be much appreciated.
Thanks for reading!
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ADHD
|
-sexual assault trigger warning
*
*
When I was 7/8 years old, I was sexually groomed by my friends dad for about two years. I blocked this out of my mind for a while and refused to acknowledge it. However, recently through the last year, which is 10 years from the incident, I’ve been having flashbacks over this every time I get stressed and I get stressed pretty easily as I have bipolar and my moods tend to go from highs to lows extremely quickly as I go through rapid cycling. Is there a reason why they are haunting me ten years later and do flashbacks ever even stop? I’m getting them multiple times daily and it’s making me feel so depressed. All I can think of is what happened and i feel so helpless as I can’t get it out of my mind
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ptsd
|
I recently started seeing someone who is diagnosed (but unmedicated) ADHD, which I have no experience with. I really like this guy, but there are a few things that are yellow-ish flags, which I'm curious as to whether it's just his ADHD.
1. He is, admittedly, not the best at asking questions. That's mostly me. And while the whole not asking back questions thing would normally be a deal breaker for me, I get the sense that he actually does care about getting to know me, but gets lost on these thought trains and just... Forgets? Because there are times where he seems to clearly catch himself and make a point to turn the convo back on me.
2. Almost every time I share something about myself / my life, though, he ties it back to an experience of his. But it does feel like he's just sincerely trying to connect over shared experiences, and not steal the conversation back.
3. He is very easily distracted. Clearest example of this being when we're hooking up - he has a very hard time finishing and will sometimes lose his steam in the middle of the deed because he gets distracted by something. E.g., my squeaky bed.
I'm most concerned about the somewhat one sided communication thing. That aside, there are a lot of great qualities about this person, so I'd like to make it work.
I guess I'd just like to hear whether the above is, in fact, likely a symptom of his ADHD and, if so, if it's something I should try to address at some point - if so, any tips as to how to approach that convo? I understand that, to the extent it is an ADHD, that isn't something he can really help, so I'm treading carefully here.
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ADHD
|
The anxiety and shame isnt always present and its scaring the shit out of me, whenever i get these thoughts i dont freak out like i normally do and thats the only was i can find some solace, some way to keep my mind in between the lines so to speak. I feel like im losing it and i think im getting close to doing something that i know will hurt alot of people that love me but necessary to save myself from the torment that im experiencing.
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OCD
|
I wish doctors were more trauma informed. I've been asked this question way too many times and it makes me feel like shit. It's about me being exposed to trauma resulting in a diagnosis of PTSD.
I'm here at the urgent care for a sinus infection, I don't need to disclose my trauma to you. Ugh.
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ptsd
|
Hi, I’m 22 (F). I was sexually assaulted when I was 18 by my guy best friend at the time. This occurred in my sleep and we’d been drinking the night before and I woke up to being assaulted.
I continued to be friends on and off with him after as I genuinely do not think he realises he did anything as he was blackout drunk and I was only tipsy. It took my a long time to process that what happened was sexual assault. I lost a stone in 2 weeks after and was physically sick for days however I did not process it until almost a year after.
I’ve only told my boyfriend, ex best friend and recently a health care professional however I haven’t had much support for it, I just got sign posted to a charity that I had to access myself. Alongside anxiety this seems very out of my reach at this moment in time. I’m on Sertraline 75mg for my anxiety. However nobody has really taken my PTSD symptoms seriously. I’m getting nightmares of the assault, waking up screaming in the night and genuinely feel not able to go out much due to panic attacks. I’ve gained so much weight where I’ve just lost myself. My partner of 3 years is supportive and calms me down.
Does anyone have advice on what roads I can go down or how I can support myself through this. Has anyone found any benefits from talking therapy or meditation? Or how I can get more support from health care?
I’d like to try for a baby next year and would like to get myself a little better before this, as pregnancy comes along with vaginal examinations etc..
I’d also like to improve my weight as BMI is associated with risks
Thankyou in advance :)
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ptsd
|
Hi,
I have experienced what can best be described as police harassment. I hesitate to call it police brutality, but it was trauma both inflicted and increased by police response. Because of this, police can be triggering, or at least highly uncomfortable for me. I am not a supporter of the police state because of my experiences with them.
And my uncle keeps posting pro-cop stuff on Facebook. He posts frequently, and I can count four times in this work week alone. It’s intensely uncomfortable, and makes my anxiety rise. I can’t unfriend him because I don’t want to cause family drama. I can’t delete Facebook bc it’s how I’m in contact with many friends and family.
I don’t know what to do. I think I just needed to vent. I’m going to discuss with my therapist what to do, since he also likes to post stuff attacking trans people (and I’m trans).
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ptsd
|
Debt, work, uni, hobbies, car, bills, friends, exercise it's all too much
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aspergers
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Today has been an awful day. I’ve been laying in bed all day long. I had a fight with my boyfriend. Today I feel like I lost my battle with depression. So now I am trying to just get out of bed to take a shower. I haven’t taken a shower in at least three days. I know this is disgusting but I can’t seem to get myself to do the simple thing.
r/depression, how can I do this, get out of bed to take a shower?
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depression
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i am 20 and going thru legal stuff and my dumbass today fell in love with a random girl i just met from a diffrent country on reddit what else can i do wrong and i think i hurt her ..... please can i just take a knife and stab myself and just not be alive anymore ..... no one cares or loves me :( and the girl i kinda liked from reddit is pregnant and i called her baby a mistake on accident fuck my life maybe ill find a blade soon idk im so sad im just a stupid 20 year old
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depression
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Keep misreading things like instructions in emails or other things, then make an assumption, then get angry when I’m corrected…
This isn’t something that happens just once or twice and I get the feeling that some people (like my local post office), must hate the sight of me because it keeps happening but I forget in the moment and then remember hours later all the times it happened.
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ADHD
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When I’m feeling stressed I’ll quite often sit with my feet up on my chair, hugging my knees. It’s pretty calming!
That’s just an example. I sit in a lot of weird positions and they feel nice!
Does that count as stimming?
I do also sometimes shake my hands a bit, bite my nails, and the collar of my jacket, and rock backwards and forwards, and side to side, and I know those all definitely count!
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aspergers
|
I keep having the unwanted, intrusive urge to smear soap on things. My therapist gave me this advice but I'm having a hard time understanding what they meant by it:
"Focus on the rumination because if you are not spending time trying to solve a problem you are not going to have the urge to smear soap (because that is trying to make the anxiety go down)."
When they say "(because that is trying to make the anxiety come down)", which part are they referring to? I'm confused because I thought the urge to smear soap was the intrusive thought and the compulsion was trying to solve a problem, but it seems like they're saying the urge to smear soap is trying to make the anxiety go down?
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OCD
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I don't do great with unexpected loud noises. If I know it's coming it doesnt really affect me.
Well, I just started working in a new state and the bathroom door opens normally and closes really really really really slowly. Until the last 3 inches where it slams shut and is super loud and echo-y in the bathroom.
Cue my first time using it and I had to go number 2. Door slams and right on out it all came. Quickest poo I've had in awhile.
I guess there can sometimes be silver linings.
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ptsd
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