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Hello, I reached the point where my depression and anxiety are too high to let people enter in my life.
I don't have any friend at school, i feel like i don't have any friend at all.
I would be really nice finding someone online so i could practice talking to them and feel more confortable with people.
Is someone interested?
I like art, animals, watching videos, series, memes. I like talking about anything but i'm not really into small talks.
And it would be perfect if you are 18+ since I have 20! :) thank you all ♡
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depression
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Is hard to live with wife with depression, Constance negative energy, I tried to have her talked to a doctor but I just can't get her out of the hole. It sucks because I tried really hard, stays positive and try to understand her and try to care for her. I have to take care of the kid, work, cook and can't hardly pull her out from bed and from tiktok. She took some medicine the doctor prescribed but later she was scared of the medicine because of all the comments and reviews she read. It is really a struggle. I have to stay strong and positive but it is just hard..
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depression
|
on this sub so much i see about relationship issues, sex issues... etc.... (not trying to invalidate they are valid) but yea.... then theres me a literally no woman would ever touch me with a 500ft pole. I want to kill myself so FKN badly wquejritkwefwd why do i keep living. why. it wont get better. i dont feel human at all. my whole life ive been a loner or shitty friend so basically friendless my whole life too. i have no life inside of me so i cant ever get a date and i wouldnt go anyways because id only drag others down. so really whats the fucking point. id just be suffering the rest of my fucking life. wish i had a gun to end this shit. i swear to fuck this is a hell simulation and one of the only things stopping me is killing myself then having to restart or some bullshit. i HATE existence
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depression
|
For people that also struggle bad with Anxiety and depression for a number of years/all their life what do you find that best helps with them? i’ve tried CBT but i find it quite difficult to explain how i feel so it’s like one big circle, my last resort is antidepressants because of side effects but i feel really stuck on what to do for the best, GP appointments are still telephone and that’s frustrating because i need to explain in person :/ thank you anyways for reading
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aspergers
|
The title pretty much says it all. But we just had a big one at the high school where I teach. Three to five students physically involved, fifty standing around with their cameras filming. During the fight I pulled one girl away from the altercation by the straps of her book bag while she screamed in my face and kicked me. The fight continued down the hall and I let the girl go to intervene. (Security had showed up by this point.)
My eye is twitching and I'm a little sore from holding her, but I'm shaken. Heart was pounding in my ears. I'm twenty years in and don't see a way out other than retirement. I have a pension and am fortunate to live in an area that pays teachers well, but I'm afraid this job will kill me. Fights aren't that common here, but I feel like one of these days...
My wife was a teacher and got hit by a student a while ago. She left the profession after that. This incident made me think of what happened to her and brought back all kinds of horrible emotions. Not sure I got 15 years left in me...
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ptsd
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i need help, but i refuse help. also is it strange eating cheese makes me happy?
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depression
|
why does something that doesn’t bring me joy & makes me depressed & afraid to live my life feels so real… why can’t i just live in peace i’ve lost all hope whatsoever
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OCD
|
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSjHYiTEA4M
This video by a psychotherapist in London's Harley Street is incredible.
It is literally the story of my life. Every single symptom he described other than substance abuse hit home.
Wish I'd seen a video like this 10+ years ago.
If anyone ever asks me to describe why I think I have ADHD, this is where I will direct them.
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ADHD
|
I've been stood up, ignored the whole day, and after giving me a 16 hour long panic attack worrying if she's okay, she leaves me on read, I've never felt so shitty. I'm fucking done with life, I'm done, had enough.
I don't think I have the strength to do it tonight, but maybe tomorrow might be my last day, I can't fucking stand it anymore
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depression
|
i won’t go into too much detail about what my trauma is because i don’t wanna give myself a panic attack but it’s related to medical things that happened to family members, and certain words and thoughts can send me into panic attacks. they feel very different from my usual panic attacks though as it’s directly related to my trauma and i feel like it’s all going to happen again, even though that’s not true. i dissociate often when this happens and even when i’m not triggered but that’s less common. this started sometime last year and the majority of the trauma was in 2015. the weird thing about this though is i don’t seem to have flashbacks?? i have intense feelings related to it and i feel like it’s going to start again but i know that it’s not? i rarely see images of it but it’s just an intense need to GET AWAY and make it stop. i also can think of specific memories beforehand and what happened, but everything around it is kind of blurry. i don’t really know, sorry this is kind of rambly, i just don’t want to bring this up to my counsellor and seem like i’m faking.
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ptsd
|
I have aspergers and I tend to overthink things and anaylize things way too much. It gets to the point where it drives me crazy and that i get paranoid as well. Anybody else feel this way?
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aspergers
|
I've been an engineer for a little over 2 years now. While my work is good, I of course have a habit of hyperfocusing on the wrong parts of assignments and taking way longer on things than I say I will, and I'm always finding myself in a last minute rush to meet deadlines and deliverables.
My manager is absolutely awesome and has never once spoken down to me or had any sort of reprimanding tone about it. He's acknowledged plenty of times that this is a big area for improvement that I need to focus on, but always with a positive and growth-oriented attitude. He's said that all engineers struggle with the same issues, but I know I'm particularly bad with it.
A few weeks ago we had a small outing with the people in my work group, just my manager and a few of the people below him. He and I stayed late and drank a few extra beers and talked, and I eventually told him that a lot of my issues stem from having ADHD and from the subsequent hyperfocusing. "Going down rabbit holes" is how we've referred to it. I'm not sure if I would have admitted that without alcohol being involved, but because of how supportive and understanding he's been, I don't regret it one bit. It felt pretty good to be more open about what I'd been struggling with. He wasn't surprised and said he recognizes that I'm intelligent and have a lot of potential and that he's tolerated my bad habits because of that.
Since then, he's changed his approach with me somewhat. He monitors my progress more closely and has tried to keep me out of situations where I'm able to go off and do my own thing indefinitely. I'm honestly completely ok with it and prefer the approach because I've always relied on that sort of oversight as part of my coping mechanisms. For example, I did great in college because I had no choice but to meet all the constant hard deadlines for assignments, and it kept me working at a steady and focused pace.
I know it's a burden on him to have to do that, though, and I'm in a position where I should have the self-discipline to keep up with things on my own. I don't want my ADHD to be an excuse for why I can't do my job properly, but I've started to realize that it's ok to acknowledge it as an obstacle that has to be dealt with, and that, at least in my situation, it's better for my manager to be aware of that obstacle so he can work with me on overcoming it. I've been essentially trying to hide that I have this problem and have been constantly coming up with bullshit excuses for why I'm late on things. I know it's way more transparent that I'm doing that than he lets on, he just doesn't want to call me out for it all the time and I don't blame him.
I would like to continue working with my manager on overcoming my issues, but I don't think that having him micromanage me for the rest of my career is an acceptable solution. I developed coping mechanisms to get myself through college and did very well with those, but they aren't translating effectively to my job. I know part of the solution is to develop some new mechanisms, but it's a bit more difficult to do because I'm not being forced to like I was in college. There's a lot more leeway and cushion in my work environment than there was at the university, and unfortunately it's been hard to keep myself from taking advantage of that.
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ADHD
|
Why can I not just stop worrying?? Everything is so irrational… my mental illnesses ruin everything and I can see it happening as it’s happening and I can’t stop it. I can’t stop questioning everything. Every single thing my brain tells me they’re lying to you.. they don’t really care.. any help?
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OCD
|
I think I've been trying to find excuses as to why she does the things she does and why she physically and emotionally hurt me so much. Saying she had a bad childhood, having kids at a really young age, enlisting in the military, not having support from the men she's been with. But then, she's a grown-ass woman and should know better than to treat people like shit especially when she's been through it herself, you would think she understands how it would be to be hurt but I guess fucking not.
I have tried so hard to make excuses but I am so tired, it's draining the living shit out of me. If you are not ready to have kids, please don't have them. It's been over a year since she's tried to kill me and I remember it every single day, in such vivid detail and I still can't understand why. I have to live with her now, alone and I don't know what to do with myself. I keep relapsing and attempted suicide too many times in a month but she's doing fine. It's so difficult to continue living when the person who's supposed to be there just doesn't care.
I can't move out yet as I am still underaged but I desperately don't want to suffer another year of this behavior because one of my attempts is bound to be successful. Contacting cps or the authorities is so iffy especially when we moved to a different state and she hasn't physically hurt me since then, yet. My depersonalization is at an all time high dude, my brain is working overtime and it's super fried. But really, I can't go seek a therapist or speak to anyone at school. I've cut out nearly everyone since I isolated myself so much. I would say I want a friend to talk to, but I don't think I can talk to people right now.
I think it's going to be a pretty minute before I can get myself together again, for the shitty situation I'm in right now. Hope you're having a better day than mine :p
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ptsd
|
I have autism, Adhd, ODD
And I've never brought my ODD up because I fear the reactions but it's obvious to anyone who's spoken to me long enough I don't like or trust authority figures. I'm not someone who seeks to be mean or to cause trouble, in fact when I am mean and do cause trouble I end up feeling bad after. What happens is if people don't listen to my needs or I become frustrated the communication for an extended amount of time with several attempts to communicate/explain I'll start yelling and saying things that aren't true because my brain will go into "You hurt me with words I hurt you with words" mode. However, it's never gotten to any extremes except for one time with one particular person. I've regretted this sense then and have tried to apologize multiple times it doesn't work. So recently I said "I don't think we should communicate anymore because when we do we get into arguments and it's not healthy for you or for me to speak to each other anymore" He acted as if I wanted to pull that move and I didn't, he claimed he had not been around and I couldn't have been avoiding him but he had been around and I had been already avoiding him. I admitted to him I avoided him because I didn't want to cause more pain and he didn't seem to comprehend this and just got angrier. I tried to apologize and speak to him and it still didn't work so I verbally drew the line hoping he'd understand it's for the best but it seems I just made everything worse and he ran out of the chat claiming that I was the one who ran him out. And I explained one more time before making that comment "I'm responsible for what I did/said and I'm sorry but I'm not responsible for you deciding to leave" Maybe I was still in the wrong but I felt that was too far and turning the story into something it wasn't. His friend told me in PM once that he claimed I didn't really have autism and asked me to not tell that to him, unfortunately, it got heated and by the end out of frustration, I told him that he denied everything making me look terrible and the conversation ended. Maybe I deserved that. I have since decided to stay away from all PMs that could lead to toxic situations or misunderstandings unless speaking with someone I've known for more than a couple of years maximum who is trustworthy. This makes everything really heartbreaking for me because I do feel bad, I just don't what else I can do. I wish there was a magic answer and i know there's not but at the same time of being really mad at myself I'm extremely mad i have ODD and i constantly fear if i tell someone whats "Actually going on" then i'm just going to be told how terrible of a person i am for having ODD even though i'm sure if i told the right people they'd understand how to help, but i'm afraid everyone's givin up on me and it's not actually going to matter even if i tried. Anyways that's just my regrets, self-hate and a lot of repression of this disorder.
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aspergers
|
I’d like to know if everyone here who classified themselves as depressed has been diagnosed or not.
Also, did you or do you go to therapy? How was or is it? Did you or are you making progress? If yes, how?
Feel free to add more details because I’m very curious and wanna know
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depression
|
After months of searching and waiting, I finally had my first appointment with a psychiatrist today concerning ADHD.
I told him that I am studying at university and that I have severe issues with concentration, attendance, and most important starting to learn at all, no matter how hard I try.
He then went on an talked about all the learning strategies there are, and that I have to learn to learn. I told him that I already tried all the strategies he told me, and that I made this appointment because I keep on struggling with procrastination.
He then told me to "just learn". He said I "just need to start studying". And when I told him that this is my problem, he said that "maybe studying at university isn't for me". I told him that this is what I wanted to do and that I want to get my bachelor's degree, to which he replied with "I cannot tell you more than that you should study then" .
He totally didn't get me. I feel misunderstood. My life is falling apart right now because of my issues with procrastination and this was my only hope to maybe get help and treatment in time to maybe get a hold of myself again.
Edit: Thanks for all the positive comments guys <3. I struggled with telling him how I really feel because I couldn't really talk through the crying. Next time I will try to be more precise with my symptoms. Though it was hard staying focused through all the shit he said. I wont give up :)
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ADHD
|
i’m too self aware now. before my intrusive thoughts were just thoughts. i just had a panic attack because i’m home alone. i can’t stop thinking someone’s going to break in and hurt me. i know i’ve locked every door, but the thoughts aren’t going away.
this is the first time i’ve been home alone in a really /really/ long time. so now along with those thoughts i also can’t stop thinking about how often this would happen and i would call my mom in complete panic asking her when she was going to be home and if she was a minute late i would have full meltdowns. i’m 20 now and i live with 5 roommates (aka why it’s been a while since i’ve been alone) all of my roommates are more than an hour away. i feel so pathetic.
it sucks because i know the thoughts aren’t going to stop until someone gets home. i want to sob. and now i know that it’s an intrusive thought but i can get rid of it or stop the compulsions that come along with this. idk it just feels bad dude. i liked it better when i thought my thoughts were my own.
tl/dr: i became too self aware while having a panic attack about being home alone.
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OCD
|
My home isn't a place anymore my home is wherever im with the people I love and all the people I love are 900 miles away and I miss them so much right now Christmas is hard for me even more so now that two of my three grandparents are dead I just want to be able to spend Christmas with my real family not the one I was given at birth but the one I built for myself everything is better when im with them when im with them I feel safe and like I might be ok but I can't be with them because I can't make my own choices until im 18 so I text them instead and my face lights up when I see a text from any of them no matter how stupid because for a second I feel safe again I just want to see them and hug them.
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depression
|
I have been in CBT therapy before but I honestly wasn't ready to give up my rituals or reassurance seeking so it's my fault that it didn't work, but anyway, now I'm ready to really kick my bad habits, but because I'm in the process of moving (a big expense) I don't think I can afford it because good CBT therapists don't take insurance. I finally hit my breaking point after 20 years of this stuff, I'm a mom in my thirties and I'm just tired of living this way. My biggest triggers are the health and safety of my family so covid naturally is a huge trigger. I've given up Twitter, covid related reddit subs, news, and asking family members for reassurance. I'm also doing exposures based on a SUDS chart like letting my baby go to the playground (Obviously not doing anything that's widely determined to be dangerous like crowded indoor events.)
The first few days I completely cut out my magical thinking rituals and now I don't have any desire to do them anymore (or barely.) I also gave up reassurance seeking. I still have a lot of anxiety though and I still have really bad intrusive thoughts. Not sure where to go from here. I can't really afford a CBT therapist and medication hasn't worked for me (trust me I've tried 4 different ones.) Any guides for doing this on my own? Thanks!
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OCD
|
I dropped the Benzo for chewing gum which is a much better and healthier alternative than other addictive substances.
The math here is simple, our brain is wired to feel safe while eating, hence we don't feel anxiety while eating.
It's a shame it is almost never mentioned by any specialist as a good option to treat anxiety.
Try it out, you won't believe it.
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OCD
|
I am 33 year old female and getting back into treatment. I was diagnosed with OCD, anxiety and depression at the age of 10. The anxiety and the OCD were way worse than the depression. I can vividly remember how bad it was and how helpless my parents felt. I had INTENSE stomach pain for at least 10 months and all my tests were negative and they couldn't find the cause. I was rushed to the ER one day and spent a week in MGH because they were going to take out my appendix just to see if that was the issue. Apparently the night before the surgery, I had explained that I heard voices (intrusive thoughts). The surgery was put on hold as they discovered my cognitive issues. I had major intrusive thoughts (about someone out to get me or my parents, sexual thoughts, repeating things in my head constantly), couldn't be without one of my parents and was out of school for half the year. I was actually experiencing stomach pain and was diagnosed with IBS. At that time, I think they had just figured out some link between anxiety and actual stomach issues. I had also been bullied for my weight, girls are mean as hell in middle school. This just added to my issues. Stayed in therapy and on medication through middle school. Seemed to get better but now looking back, I don't ever remember thinking "oh this is working". I hated therapy and I hated taking medication. Nobody back then, at my age did. I had nobody to relate to at all. I stopped everything by high school. Skip to high school, had a traumatic experience with a teacher and was in a toxic on and off again same-sex relationship until I graduated COLLEGE. It started when I was a freshman and she was a senior. People assumed we were together but I never really admitted it until I was a junior in high school. At that time, I had been repeatedly cheated on, tossed to the side, took her back every time, and I had to keep this all to myself because people weren't as accepting back then. Junior year between her, some family issues and the teacher thing, I had a meltdown and ended up in inpatient treatment center for a long weekend. That in itself, just caused more distress (it was not a good place).
Fast forward to the end of this past November. My company was bought out September 1st and our new company was putting my nursing license in jeopardy. My anxiety is uncontrollable. This new company is doing borderline fraudulent stuff. I give my notice and leave. I did get approved for unemployment FINALLY by April. I had avoided doctors offices and anything psych related since college because I just didn't want to deal with everything in my head. I get myself back to a new PCP and kind of faced the music that I need to be on medication again, I need strict therapy.
I am now at a place where looking back that I am actually baffled how bad I convinced myself that the way I was living was easier than going to get help. The pressure and stress that I have put on myself for the past 15 years is absolutely insane. My OCD is absolutely uncontrolled and I just don't know how I was/am even living. I had my first psychiatrist appointment on July 7th and even at the first visit, I don't think I even touched upon 10% of what the last 15 years has been like and diminished my issues and I don't even know why?? I feel like I'm at this breaking point and I am feeling SO bad for myself. I have not lived for the past 15 years, I feel like I'm just a shell of a person. I constantly tear apart my room, rearrange it. At work I couldn't focus in my shared office because everyone was messy and my corner was spotless. Looking back I can't believe how much work I did from home, not realizing I spent all day unable to focus because of my surroundings. I am still not working as we speak and my money is dwindling but I can't even think about going back to work. The thought just terrifies me. My constant checking behaviors does affect my daily life but not in an obvious way. It's more internally...does that make it less of an issue? I will write stuff down, not like my handwriting and tear it up and start over. I'll be watching tiktoks and KNOW I saw the first 3 seconds but somehow convince myself I didn't and restart it over. I could go on and on and the more I am coming to all these realizations, the more I am feeling anxious like its not believable because it wasn't so apparent. I am waiting for a name of a therapist because I know I need to go and I want to now. In July, I was like nope don't want to but just as of recent, I don't think I realized how bad I really am. My social anxiety is through the roof. I am just feeling bad for myself. And I also feel like because I have kept all this and all the pain its caused me inside, it makes it seem made up since it wasn't visible to others. Anyways, just joined this group tonight and just typing this out feels better than crying to myself. I hope everyone here can find some relief with what they are dealing with.
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OCD
|
15m and didn’t get diagnosed until about a month ago (hard attention problems and hyper activity) and up until I started with medication (concerta 54mg) I was constantly being called lazy by my mom and genuinely started believing Im dumb and not willing to put in “hard work” to achieve success. Ever since I started medication I’ve been getting close to straight A’s on everything and compliments from all my teachers but still my mom believes I refuse to learn because I want shortcuts because I insist on taking my medication every school day wether it’s easy or not and I get to situations where I’m almost crying because she doesn’t believe that I can’t without it and the only person who believes me is me everybody just thinks I’m dumb and that I’m giving myself reasons in order to be lazy and not do anything but I just can’t without my meds. can anyone relate?
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ADHD
|
I was wondering if anyone who is currently in a relationship with someone, do you or your partner have ADHD/ADD, if so, how has it affected your relationship? Have you managed to stay together or are there difficulties?
Asking this because I want to work on my own flaws and if I ever find a girl and get together I want to be prepared in situations.
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ADHD
|
I feel so different when I’m at school. I don’t want to be annoying but I am. I can sense when I’m annoying but can’t stop unless I’m with close friends. When I’m at home I’m a lot less annoying, but I don’t know how to not be annoying at school I talk a lot almost like a stim I always say what is on my mind.
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aspergers
|
How do you ever feel like doing anything besides lying down in bed or the couch? Nothing feels fun or sounds fun
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depression
|
mine is background noise that i hate. when tvs are left running I get irritated, especially at night or when nobody's watching it. Probably tied into the trauma somehow. Anyway, how might someone deal? it's worse on weekends when everyone's home and yeah...i have to hear them
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ptsd
|
So I got some pretty heavy shit going on in life. The kind of shit that is going to be very difficult for the next several months and very possibly years. (As I typed that it felt like I'm talking about prison and it's nothing like that). Now, I'm surprised at how well I've been handling everything over the last couple months but these last few days have been almost unbearable. Evening/night time is the worst as I'm settling in the house. I have time to think. I have time to realize how terrible almost every little thing is and I can't see any positives. I stay sick to my stomach and start randomly tearing up almost crying. Sometimes a ful cry ngl. I try to get a good workout everyday because it helps me feel better and today I couldn't even make it through that. I'm so mentally drained I can't focus.
What should I do to make these nights better? I won't drink because I know it'll get worse and I've been down that road. I wanted to take a handful of melatonin and just sleep till tomorrow (it's only 7 now), but I read it can alter mood as a side effect. Advice would help me not want to just give up. Thanks..
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depression
|
I just found out that I still have depression it’s not that that saddens me (well, of course it is but yeah) it’s the fact that I thought i wasn’t depressed anymore. But I still am. The only reason why I thought otherwise is because I’ve accustomed to my life being miserable. I know I also have other conditions, revolving around trauma, so I thought it would be this. But no, I’m still depressed. And it’s eating me inside out. I’m in this state for nearly three years now. I don’t know how it feels if you are not depressed. What life is like then. I’m 18, and I don’t know what kind of person I am. Do I enjoy going out, drinking?(I’m allowed to drink just so you know)Do I enjoy studying? Living? Being an adult, or at least, becoming one?I don’t know, and at that point I don’t know if I ever will. When i was in school I couldn’t go. Now I’m unable to work. I have depression, anxiety, and most likely cptsd. I’m buried under issues, nothing I do can be free of them. I’m exhausted, I don’t live this life for myself. I just don’t know what to do anymore, I tried everything. I’ve done everything. I’m going to therapy, taking meds, I was on a grippy sock vacation in the clinic. For years now, I’m just so exhausted, finished with life. I know I wouldn’t be able to actually finish it. I’m too much of a coward. But my life is so miserable. I can’t stand it. I only have one friend, now that i finished school. I see pictures or chats from ppl, that enjoy their life, being happy. Going out, drinking, meeting friends, partying, having a job, studying. In the meantime I’m unable to do anything of this. I can’t take a job because of my cptsd&depression. I tried- it ended badly. I can’t study because of my anxiety. I only have one friend, that I see once a week. I always try to do as much as possibly. And it still is nearly nothing. I’m crying basically every night, the burden of everything scarring me mentally. I try to break out of it, but am stuck, and so alone. I don’t know what to do.
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depression
|
Im battleling HOCD, but now im just scared of POCD, let me rephrase it, i am not scared to be a pedophile, im scared of having POCD..for me it's horrible as OCD is a hardship im just scared that POCD will be 10x worse.. like how my anxiety will shift to POCD since anxiety found a new way to hurt me.. please help
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OCD
|
Can’t wait to get my bullets back. Motherfuckers don’t know how to mind their own fucking business. Fuck the world. I hope it burns.
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depression
|
People confessed to me a few times before, but none of them felt real. They never got to know who I am. I didn't even think of them as more than friends.
I don't believe that you need a partner to be happy or whatever... and I also love my friends plenty, but I wanted to experience romantic feelings of love once in my life. I never found anyone who really cared for me in that way, and I have never felt it either.
My depression got better compared to 3 years ago and people actually like me, but I don't know if anyone will fall in love with me. I guess I'm just not the material
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depression
|
Any good apps, screensavers or something that may easen OCD while watching the computer screen?
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OCD
|
20M Aspie here. With the struggles of those who are socially inept, autistic or otherwise, there can often come a feeling best described of being a sort of tortured snowflake ant the whole world is out to get you. I was definitely in such a phase in middle school. I had my cringe moments that still bother me, as well as the fact that after years of that and family dysfunction at 20 years old I finally can operate as a normal person. Even at 17 senior year I would awkwardly try to start conversations with people based on narrow interests. It was exhausting and I remember feeling relieved to come home, and then drama with my suicidal sister and my mom and her now ex. At age 11-13 into Legos and sword fights with younger kids and outside of church youth group(agnostic now) didn't have friends my own age aside from one who I found out was pretty bad,shall we say.
But maybe I can't feel too bad. Even though I'm only now at the level of social intuition others were at years ago which is definitely frustrating and some residual anger/bitterness from the toxic home life(dad was a piece of work too), I hardly have any issues aside from that. I'm not a Calvin Klein model but am not ugly by any means(told I look a couple years younger than my actual age), and I am not fat but with an strength training regimen things could be even better. If I had more lean muscle I'd probably be like Tom Holland or Izuku Midoriya, that young face but ripped body I still have my interests that I like but am much more open to certain other things and can appropriately communicate and be reciprocal in conversations. I also don't have any allergies and can eat what I want and not worry(vegetarian), and I have no rare disease that denies a multitude of life opportunities and pleasures.
And despite having made posts on r/IncelExit, I actually haven't even asked out a girl yet, so I can't really qualify as being an incel(not that I am trying or want to). Like in middle school I did a couple times during my nice guy phase(was rejected both times), but looking back I didn't like them all that much but hyperfixated alot of my self worth onto that. I got(and still get) the ''do you have a girlfriend/are you gay'' questions and that doesn't help matters with pressuring people to fit some script when you are a teenager. I'm moving in a few days, and after a few months settling into my new city I may not have it too bad aside from COVID since I don't have that social anxiousness I used too. In school I would stand near/by people and not really talk to them(which made me look kinda creepy) since I didn't know what to say but that's not a thing now. When talking to two fish and game wardens(environment conservation police, my desired career) at a marina, I mentioned the high functioning autism and they noted I came up and talked to them without issue. As far as past mistakes, they bother me sometimes even though I know people have moved on from them or they weren't a big deal. One kid who I annoyed several times in elementary school(I was really) clingy and didn't understand boundaries), he and I got back in touch with I was 16, he had forgiven me no problem. We lost touch again but I talked to him again in 2020 and things are still fine between us.
Overall, the stuff I did have to go through both with social norms and family stuff does suck, and I typically don't like to minimize suffering just because someone arbitrarily has it worst(''kids are starving in Africa''). But I guess some perspective is helpful since feelings of self loathing can cause you to have a distorted view of reality that isn't accurate and making things seem hopeless when they aren't. But being normal now, and seeing how abnormal I was before, it does create a weird dichtomy, especially since there are those on the spectrum who aren't high functioning and are as disabled as someone with Down's and the like in terms of little to no independence.
Hopefully this isn't too confusing. Thoughts? Can anyone relate?
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aspergers
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(So bad I used "its" instead of "it's" in the title...)
For the past week, I've been waking up early in the morning with my heart racing and can't stop thinking about the thing I'm obsessing over.
(Details on the thing: I made a decision but now I've convinced myself that it was a selfish/bad decision and that even though the results of the decision seem positive on paper I'll be plagued with guilt for the rest of my life. I'm keeping it vague because it's probably counter-productive at this point to describe the actual contents of the obsession. I've asked various people in my life about the situation (parents, counselor, a person who is familiar with the situation/whose opinion I trust, random people on the internet) who have all told me that it's not a selfish decision and that these are just irrational feelings of guilt. At this point changing my mind would be even worse because it would involve backing out of an important commitment and is realistically not an option, and I would feel so sad and also guilty but for a different set of reasons.)
I've been on vacation this week, visiting family, which has been both a blessing and a curse. When I get like this it's nearly impossible to concentrate on anything, so I'm glad I don't have to deal with work, and it's also been good to have people around to remind me to eat (I lose my appetite when my anxiety is really bad). It's also given me way too much free time to spiral, and I know I'm bringing everyone around me down. The only time I feel OK is late at night - by then I'm tired and my anxiety calms down enough that I can turn my brain off a bit and watch TV or listen to a podcast. I feel like I'm on the edge of having a nervous breakdown...
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OCD
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(I'm giving myself 5 minutes to type this post to avoid excessive time wasting)
I'm going to make this simple. I'm deeply struggling with motivation right now. My job pays well, but knowing I will be fired if I don't turn things around isn't enough. People's lives will be negatively impacted if I don't get my #### together, but that isn't enough. I feel guiltier and guiltier everyday for not working, but for some reason it hasn't translated into actually sitting down and doing what I need to do.
If I go too long without food, I feel hungry. If I go too long without sleep, I feel tired. But for some reason the feeling that usually kicks in when I have upcoming deadline or when clients are getting frustrated with me hasn't arrived.
I'm not being asked to do anything terribly difficult or even something that I don't understand. I'm being asked to do things I've done 100 times before, but for whatever reason, right now it seems like the most difficult task on earth.
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ADHD
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This is my first time posting on here. I just finished my semester. It has been a rough one and I worked really hard. I aced everything and gave it my all. As I submitted my last assignment, I get into a fight with my mom which truly feels like the last thing I needed. I am truly burnt out. I know I need a break, I need to take care of my mental health, but there isn’t anything I want to do. I feel tired of people. I feel like nothing has a meaning anymore. I feel like I don’t care what happens anymore. Who I lose. Who I stay with. It truly doesn’t matter. Is it bad that you stop wanting to exist anymore. It’s all anxious thoughts speaking. I know. But really and truly, I am tired of picking myself up and starting over again. I am tired of keeping it together
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depression
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I have extremely bad ocd and depression right now. I also have severe emetophobia so I’m looking for a medication with the least amount of side effects. Has anyone tried remeron? Did it cause and nausea or vomiting? Did it help your ocd?
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OCD
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hi, so ive been on 2 different adhd meds over the past two months. the first one i tried was concerta, but it made me extremely fatigued, unable to sleep (or stay asleep), paranoia, high heart rate etc// and now im on vyvanse, where im tired all the time still. ive been on different kinds of meds over the past few years for mental illness and am struggling to want to continue. having to take meds makes me feel weak and useless since almost none of mine have had positive effects alongside the negative ones. if you have some time could anyone please share any experience with vyvanse, adhd meds, or just anything like that?
tldr; tell me about your experiences with meds, im losing hope
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ADHD
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I've got PTSD from my childhood which resulted in repressed memories. Most counselling i've been to cannot help me as i can't remember the events, only the feelings. I've also tried sexual assault specific CBT for the rape I had at 14. I'm in the UK and struggle to find treatment on the NHS that isn't just counselling or CBT. Any advice?
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ptsd
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I could day dream for a day if no one interrupted me. The stories I make up can seem so real, like I’m really there, like it was a real memory. Is this also part of OCD?
I’m clinically diagnosed with OCD.
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OCD
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I sit criss-cross-apple-sauce just about everywhere. On the floor, in my seat in classes, in my chair at home, literally anywhere. I got a new chair recently and it's a little more difficult to sit in the way I usually would, but since I've been sitting in it I cannot for the life of stop kicking or wiggling my legs around. I had no idea how restless my legs were until I was somewhat forced to sit differently.
I guess I learned something new about myself today. At least now I have an explanation for it.
Obsession is the closest word I could use to describe it. I MUST sit criss-cross-apple-sauce. I get restless, irritable, anxious, and eventually upset if I don't.
Good to know I suppose.
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ADHD
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hi y'all
I'm a college Psych student doing a research assignment on Adult-Onset ADHD. I was wondering if anyone has any good articles or research on the subject. Personally, I hadn't heard of it until now (I was diagnosed with ADHD at 6) and I am finding very little information. Adult-onset would mean the person did not show any symptoms until after the age of 12 years.
I would also love to hear about personal experiences.
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ADHD
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Again, I’m sorry if this comes off like I’m trying to self-diagnose myself, but these feelings I’m going to explain I don’t deal with much anymore. I’ve learned to get over them/live with them.
Anyway. Last year and earlier this year I began to force myself to do things. I told my mom about it. I don’t think she wants me to go to a psychiatrist, though so that’s always fun.
Some of the things consist of writing almost every thought I had down in my journal, saving/screen-recording almost everything I saw, and using my notes app all of the time.
Well, I used my reminders app, because I like it’s format better, but same difference. I haven’t deleted a single thing from there and there’s about 65 different folders with a total of 2,064 notes and I started using it about a year ago.
I could go into a little bit more detail if anyone sees this but basically I felt like I had to do things, like it was a compulsion. I don’t quite remember what I told myself if I didn’t do it but all I remember is I cried a couple different times because of it. One example: I was having a hard time reading a manga because I felt like I had to read every word from top to bottom in that order — but also from left to right at the same time because it was a manga and that’s how they’re written — and if I didn’t read it “nice” enough I would have to do it again.
And I don’t cry over stuffs like that so now you know it’s serious. I was just so frustrated.
And as I said before, I don’t do it much anymore, and if I do (use my reminders app) it’s because I want to and not because I feel like I have to. But reading is sort of a struggle disregarding how much I zone out all of the time (also really annoying lol).
Although I still have my moments, I’d like to understand what the hell was/is going on and if I should’ve gotten that checked out before it got worse and I let it take over me like bts in pied piper.
All I know for sure is that something’s up and if it’s not OCD or anything at all I just give up lol. Idekam
Thank you to any future person that helps me. Sorry to any future person if this is the wrong subreddit to be discussing this under and my post made you uncomfortable.
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OCD
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I was in a car accident. My head went through the windshield a quarter way at 35 miles an hr.This past January made 3 years. The year before this third, I was beatin by my sister in a hotel room repeadily smashed my head against a wall floor ect. I know it doesnt seem that big in comparison to other stories, but I am suffering so much every day. I cant explain the kinds of rushes that come over me the anger the happy the sad the anxt. I'm afraid of building relationships with anyone because of this situation. I have nightmares that are just absolutely unreal. I cant seem to grip much and its bothering me. I decided to go to college and I feel like I'm reliving the same thing over again as though I lived this life, died and I'm doing it again. Nothing feels completely touchable. I'm scared because I found a great guy and I have started to have memories of him as though he has been in my life before. Their terrible truths about who he could be, possibly potential secrets he is hiding. Am I losing my shit , or are these things normal? I know I need help, I just dont want to be put in a loony bin because of it. I sleep with my gun. She is my healthy relationship.I feel secure knowing she shoots and can kill. I cant ever see my sister again. I cant be around people to much it feels so overwhelming and taxing on my whole day. I want to be free.
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ptsd
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I’m really fucking tired. Like really. I’m dreading waking up because I have to take the trash out. I was supposed to take it out yesterday, but I had kept putting it off, and by the time I had gathered it all up, the neighbors Pit bull was running up and down the street with no leash, and I couldn’t see the neighbor outside, so I just said fuck it I’ll do it in the morning.
Could I just ask my father to do it one time? He has the most germ tolerance and he’ll only wash his hands one time (which is normal) Vs me washing my hands multiple times and maybe even taking a 30 min-to an hour shower. I feel bad because it’s my responsibility, but at the same time I’m so fucking tired of my life revolving around washing my fucking hands and showering every time I touch something that I think may be dirty. I don’t have it in me anymore and if I wash my hands one more time I might just cry.
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OCD
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I always knew I had a different thought process than others but this past weekend gave me a wow moment. It may not seem like a big thing, but to me, it explains my thinking over the years and why it's so difficult for me to figure out problems.
With husband in a department store. I use a 20oz Yeti tumbler for my hot and iced coffee I make in the morning for work. Lately for some reason, I haven't be able to drink all of it and throw the rest out. So it was like:
Me: I need to get a smaller tumbler for my coffee.
Husband: Why? You have a nice one that you use.
Me: I haven't been drinking it all and want a smaller mug.
Husband: Why don't you just make less coffee and keep using the same tumbler. You don't need to buy a smaller one.
Mind was blown. How the hell have I gotten this far when thinking like that. I'm very bothered by this and have been overthinking things even more now.
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aspergers
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Maybe I live under a rock, but imagine a college that was structured like high school. It may be just me, but the annoying block scheduling and same 5 classes for 70 minutes a day is what kept my grades up.
Instead of seemingly impossible goals, and days between classes, inaccessible professors… Everything was so much easier to retain and pay attention to when there was more time spread out with teachers and subjects. So why not do it in college? Why not force a schedule where you don’t have the abundant free-time and instead are given information slowly and consistently. We all got straight A’s in high school because we mirrored each other and were forced to focus.
Work and school are two different things. Work, in my opinion, is much easier to pay attention to than phalanges and thoraxes. Or numbers and logic..? So does any of this make sense?
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ADHD
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The whole week, it felt like the earth didn't move. I have no interest in anything. Not even things I like. Moving feels like hell, but otherwise I just... feel nothing
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depression
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Hello all, First time poster in this community. Sometimes I am ashamed that I have OCD as I am a mental health professional. I know how to counsel those with OCD though therapeutic techniques (CBT, etc) but I can't put into place myself. Over the last year my OCD has gotten worse. It has always been "bad" but now literally one obsession-compulsion or ritual and checking takes 2-6 hours. I was on an antidepressant for a few years but it did not do anything to help. I stoped taking it because my husband and I are about to start IVF and i don't want to be on medication while pregnant and not to mention something that didn't relieve my compulsions and obsessions. I am wondering why it has gotten worse as well as the nature of how my OCD manifests. I'm thinking some of it is subconscious anxiety as I am not actively anxious right now. Yes, some day to day anxiety, minor worrying about the future. But now my OCD has gone though the roof. For instance, now I do compulsions in sequences of 8 and 16 evenly over and over again until it "feels right" once something "feels right" i'll suddenly see something else, fixate on that and then begin a new compulsion. I do not want to do this when i'm pregnant and when I have a child. As all of you know, they are completely irrational and they are taking the joy out of things that I enjoy to the point where I avoid the things I enjoy. For example, I love designer handbags and shoes. My husband built me a beautiful display in my walk in closet. I have gotten to the point where I dread swapping out a bag, avoid using certain bags or wearing a pair of beautiful shoes and opt for ones that I don't care about wearing so I don't go though the ritual of putting them away. I'll have to insect the shoes/bag for a hour or so, then set it down and pick it up over and over until it feels "right" and everything looks "fine". But even more confusing, I get more fixated on the shelves themselves. I fixate on the and wipe my hand over and over and over them again to make sure that they are "all good". Then i get fixated on tiny pieces of dust and SHADOWS that the room creates. Just utterly stupid. Then ill fixate on that and do mini rituals. I know that once my brain gets stuck in "compulsion" mode its hard to break the cycle as you're technically in fight or flight mode. Once I am finally done with all of the stupid ritually and feel "ok" and my brain goes back to normal i'm like "well that was stupid " and I know that EVERYTHING WAS FINE TO BEING WITH. Does anyone else feel like they have to convince their own brain that what they are seeing or feeling is "fine"? Another example checking my car. I have an obsession with making sure my doors are closed. I avoid opening the window because, well, another ritual. But anyway, I see the door is closed, i tell myself the door is closed, but my brain goes "are you sure?" I dont think so. Same things with checking if things are dry...that I know are dry. I can give many more examples of things I do but you get the picture. I used to obsess a lot but it has gotten to the point where its taking over my life. I don't know if I should seek therapy again, because my last therapist did not help and I cant even help myself. If you have any tips or can relate, let me know.
Thanks
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OCD
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Basically the title.
I was diagnosed with PTSD last year and it makes a LOT of sense. Same doc ruled out ADHD. I tried a few anti-anxiety medications, and it helped with the anxiety, but not my ability to focus and concentrate.
Welp, I last month I went through and am still going through major trauma once again and I am basically out of work since I can't get my mind to settle. It just will not stay put. Like an octopus flailing and grabbing at everything around it.
I'm exhausted. If anyone knows anything I can do from home or any supplements to try for concentration/focus I'm all ears. I already use CBD and am super intolerant if not flat out allergic to THC. Sigh, lol.
I see the doc that diagnosed me in 2 weeks so I can make medication changes then. There's a crisis center near me that might help with therapy, too.
I just... need to focus and get back to work ASAP. The fear of losing my home isn't helping my case here.
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ptsd
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Every time I try to climb out I am reminded. Every time I pull myself up, go out and try to face the world, I get the same looks. Of disgust, of disregard, of disapproval. I try again and again to go somewhere, even with people I know, and I feel the same absence of welcome. If I cant be welcome anywhere, where do I go? I just want someone to want me...here, there, anywhere.
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depression
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Maybe I just have really romanticised ideas of friendship and romance from idealised media since I can't tell where my standards turn into impossible daydreams, but I feel like I expect so much from everyone I want to be close to.
Acquaintances and shallow relationships just make me feel empty after a while and I end up desperate to express myself honestly around others, to talk in-depth about ideas and dreams or music and art in general and feel some reciprocation in interests and passions, to have a deep connection and to trust someone to accept me as I am. Is that too movielike? It feels possible yet it seems to be really fucking hard to find.
There are bands I dream of starting but it feels like either everyone musically inclined with similar taste to me is already in one, or lives thousands of miles away. I'm hardly all that special yet why does it feel like finding someone even remotely similar to me requires diving into forums or cross-continental travel? For all the accessibility of music and people, it still feels like you can go continents without finding someone who shares even some of your interests.
The same goes for romantic relationships, it's easy to get lost in the stats and believe everything you've dreamed of is a statistical nightmare, like the odds of two shooting stars colliding in the vast voids of nothing. And yet they're so common for everyone else? Everyone else somehow finds perfection, everyone somehow finds years of happiness in a chance encounter, sometimes even in the same country or city. What are the fucking odds of that? Do people defy statistics by dumb luck, are they just "settling" or is everyone just destined to win the life lottery? How do you even find that perfect partner in a world of obligations, opportunities, continents separating people and competition for affection?
I walk around the city and there are people hugging and meeting up. They all walk in groups. It feels rare to see someone walking by themselves, and it just stings as you go about the days and weeks without that, until eventually, every day feels like you're being the one miserable, cynical person spoiling the Christmas season for everyone else or something, when in reality you've just been destroyed by hearing Mariah Carey's Disney-like Christmas anthem every waking hour and feel incomplete without worlds of dopamine and affection.
Is it unrealistic to have friends that hug you, that care about you, that have an interest in your life as you have in theirs? It just feels impossible to find friends like that sometimes, just as it feels impossible to find that "soulmate", that statistical anomaly of a person who is simultaneously your Deus Ex Machina and your equal in every sense of the word. To be equal in someone's eyes feels nearly impossible, it feels like so often there's a power dynamic where I'm lesser in their eyes for some reason. It might be the reason why narcissists target those with ASD, because who else cares about us? Who else would care besides someone wanting to exploit us? Who sees more in someone lesser, who sees potential in the one who finishes last in a race? Who sees a world behind the anxious, aloof mess, who sees my hard drive of unreleased music?
I don't think I worded my feelings exactly, I guess at the moment it just feels like I'm limited and undercut by so many things. I have grandiose dreams and probably unrealistic expectations of people, maybe I see things in platonic ideals only possible in daydream fantasies and anything that falls flat of that perfect form feels like a failure, like a perfect idea for a piece of art ruined by the human realising it, like trying to recreate the music of a dream based on faded memories and poor pitch-recognition skills, as if Hollywood sells you the idea of perfect love and you're left waiting an eternity for it to "happen" as it does to scripted characters played by paid actors with ideal camera angles and a director's profit incentive.
I just want reciprocation and I just want to realise my grandiose ideas, and failing to find those would feel like my life fell flat, as if I was "an idealist with lost potential", and it just kind of hurts to think about that.
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aspergers
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Hi all,
I am a 27 year old male with Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and I am also a virgin. I am concerned that this might prove to be a detriment to me in the future, in terms of bonding with the opposite sex, and so I would appreciate any advice/reassurance that any of you guys could offer me on this point.
Because of my condition, as well as other environmental factors (i.e. attending a single sex school, as well as problems at home) I have always found it difficult to meet women and have relationships. I know I shouldn't worry too much about it, but at the same time I don't want to feel as though I am developmentally behind my peers.
Many thanks
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aspergers
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When I wrestled I would always do self affirmations, which is basically repeating a statement in your head and out loud when in private constantly. My affirmation was along the lines of “Do what it takes now to what you want tomorrow”. This had a massive effect on my will power, time I spent training and helped my mental fortitude. I recently have been using this to cope with almost being murdered and have found it helps a lot, the statement I use is “my life is a gift, my life temporary, my life will end” just hearing these three realities help focus on present and realize that I can only control my actions to live happier and not my thoughts or the people that wish to hurt me. Hopefully this can work for some of y’all as well. If there’s any reason you don’t agree with this let me know so I can possibly improve upon my pursuit of happiness.
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ptsd
|
I’m on my second straight day of complete overwhelm. Full on frozen, staring at my work computer for 7 hours straight literally getting nothing done. Does anyone have any tips or tricks that work for them to overcome this? The longer I go, the more panicky I get, the more behind I get at work.
My tasks aren’t even difficult.
When I start to feel like this, my adderall just makes it worse and increases my anxiety. I’ve tried to make myself stop and do something, go for a walk or something but I get stuck in that meaning that’s more time I’m not working and don’t go then it’s more of the same. I know it literally seems so obvious, just start, just do something. But I physically cannot. I just can’t.
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ADHD
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TW panic attack and some self harm
I don’t often get panic attacks as much as I used to but I had one a couple of days ago. In past panic attacks it would usually go from hyperventilating and panicking into disassociating but this one was different, it started with a thought, ig more so of a fear that I’m an abusive person (an absolute nightmare of a thought as someone who’s been through abuse, the idea that I could cause anyone pain like that is extremely distressing to me). I scratched the skin off my thumb because I felt like I deserved to be punished. I went nonverbal which is usually common and I felt like I couldn’t hold up the weight of my own body. I could bearly keep my eyes open because I just felt so exhausted, I only forced myself to move so I could communicate to my friends that were there for me in some way because they were really worried.
I feel bad that it happened, I feel bad that I worried my friends, I feel bad that I’ve been so exhausted still these past couple of days that I’ve just wanted to be alone and not talk to anyone. Part of me is just that, exhausted, part of me also feels like I don’t even deserve to have any friends. Idk I’ve just felt so much emptiness and I’ve been sleeping a ton and not doing anything productive, I’m not sure how to shake myself out of this. I’m seeing my therapist tomorrow but I’m just tired of feeling tired and useless.
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ptsd
|
I’m on vacation with my fiancé’s family and currently trying not to cry as I type this. I’ve been trying not to burst into tears all damn day.
Okay. This story begins with me forgetting to take my medication this morning. Immediate recipe for disaster.
Like I mentioned, I’m currently on vacation with my fiancé’s family (we were in Daytona for his sisters wedding) and as today is our last day here we decided to take a tour of the Daytona Speedway. This was particularly special for me as my dad used to be a race car driver in his prime and is a lifelong racing fanatic (he gave his firstborn son the middle name “Andretti”). He unfortunately doesn’t have a visa so can’t come see it himself, so I wanted to do it for him.
The tour starts and everything is well and good, I’m getting great pictures and we’re all having a fun time. Then, the guide stops the truck and takes us up into the stands. Before he actually lets us go, he tells the group, “If you want to actually *sit* in the seats, please go *down*, do *not* go up. The seats above us only get pressure washed once a month or so and are usually covered in bird poop.”
Here comes my current reason for wanting to not exist.
I took his words *very* literally. In my mind, I understood this to mean that we couldn’t go upstairs if we wanted to SIT. Otherwise, it was fair game. And I didn’t want to sit down, I just wanted a nice picture of the track for my dad. I just had to watch where I was stepping.
So he let us go and I headed up the stairs. There was actually no bird poop that I could see. I was in the middle of a *beautiful* panorama shot when I heard a *very* annoyed voice say “Ma’am, I specifically said NOT to go up the stairs.” I immediately put my phone down and joined everyone else on the lower level, refusing to make eye contact with anyone.
As we were walking back to the trolley, my fiancé’s mom came up beside me and whispered, “why did you go up?” I explained that I genuinely thought he just meant we couldn’t go up if we wanted to sit in the seats, which I didn’t. She nodded her head and the rest of the tour continued without further incident, but for the past 7 hours the only thought in my head has been “everyone thinks I’m either a spoiled brat that does whatever she wants, or a complete moron.”
Looking back, I *do* feel like a total idiot. I should have realized that no one else was on the upper levels. I should have understood what the guide meant. The worst part is, my fiancé *tried* to stop me. But I insisted that I didn’t want to sit down so it was fine. And now I feel like he’s upset with me because he had gone up there with me, to stop me, and the guide got annoyed with him as well. I want to talk to him or *someone* about it and at least explain myself but my debilitating fear of rejection won’t let me.
I just feel so stupid and all I want to do is go home now. Vacation is ruined. And I can’t even think about one day taking my dad to see the track because I know I’m *never* going back there again. All because I have the critical thinking skills of a newborn.
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ADHD
|
Hi everyone, i just wanted to ask y'all if i had depression, so its been like 4 motnhs that i don't want to do anything anymore, im always tired, also i don't really like the things i loved to do before, my parents are annoying all the time, i dont have fun playing video games anymore, i had 450€ to spend on black friday as a gift from my parents, i spent nothing because i surprisingly wanted nothing, i went every where i could to like re fresh me up but nothing worked, i sleep day and night, everything feels like a chore, i need to hype me up to get out of bed, when i have loads of money to spend at a supermarket, i take nothing, like idk how to say it but i wanted to buy everything before and now i don't feel the interest in buying anything i just lost motivation, i just live in pretty nice place in nature, in the mountains of Portugal with my family and my 2 dogs, i just don't feel like before, is it the covid situation and shit that did this to me ? I have friends but they're so different now, my brother is so different too, yeah that's it, what do you think about it ?
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depression
|
RANT. Can we please stop using them as a means to celebrate? There are other ways. My dog has PTSD (as do I)...she hates loud noises i.e. fireworks, vacuums, thunderstorms, hard rain, apartment noises. I know these things are impossible to get away from but we have no choice in this economy but to live here. Someone is setting off fireworks and I’m sure there are plenty of other people and animals with anxiety and PTSD in the area that hate it. And not just here, but everywhere. I wish others were more considerate.
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ptsd
|
So after getting over a fear of having a brain tumor, my good ole fear of schizophrenia of back in full effect. I'm beyond frustrated because I thought I was doing okay and haven't been worried about in almost 2 years. But now it's back and I fully believe im developing it. I believe I've been seeing things out of my peripherals and I tend to focus on my peripherals much more than I should so I can spot what I'm seeing. What I see is very vague and it seems to be some sort of eye floater or a small black dot. this only happens when I'm in my room though Another scary thing that has been happening is I'll hear something (in my head if that makes sense) in other sounds. For example, when I listen to loud music in my car I'll hear my car blinker in it even when it's not off. But when I turn the music down, it goes away. I'll also play call of duty or something and when I get off, I'm,
i'll hear in my head sounds from the game very briefly. It's very very vague and never clear, but I think I hear it. I have tinnitus and I'm HOPING thats the cause. Does this happen to anyone else or am I in the prodrome of schizophrenia?
I'm so over this fucking illness. Hell, I can't even pinpoint if it's OCD or schizophrenia but whatever it is, I'm so over it. I just got over my obsession of having a brain tumor, now this comes back to bite me in the ass? What the hell do I have to do to put this behind me and enjoy life? I feel utterly useless and unworthy because of this. I want relationships. I want friendships. I want success. I wasn't passion and drive. But this is sucking the soul out of me every single day.
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OCD
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I had 10 good days in a row but then the last 2 days all my symptoms are back. Is that normal at this stage in recovery to still have this yo-yo effect back and forth?
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OCD
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I’m staying over at a friends house, but I can’t sleep. It’s almost 5 am and all I want to do is go home but I don’t want to bother my friends or wake them up. I left all of my meds at home by accident and I feel like I can’t sleep knowing that I haven’t taken them. I feel weirdly out of place and it’s taking everything I have not to sneak out and drive the hour commute to get home.
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OCD
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I have no filter, I tend to say things with out thinking and tend to say things that most people would prefer to keep to them selves, like I saw a guy that had a huge mole on his hand, I was with my mum and said out loud "look mum thar man has a huge mole on his hand" I got told of,
Does any one not have a filter?
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aspergers
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So I've been diagnosed before the school year started and have been on meds since, methylphenidate, dexmethylphenidate, and adderall xr (in that order). Unfortunately though none of them have done anything (other than make me tired and stop eating breakfast). I'm a little worried that me not being affected by these is abnormal so I came here to ask how many different medications you've tried and what medication you're on just to see if other people's experiences are similar (the specific medication is just curiosity)
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ADHD
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Some context, I've past my worst phase of depression, until the next one that is. I can somewhat function on a day to day job with some side effect. Suicidal thought rarely popped in.
Lately I'm noticing whenever I go about my day, I'd look at things then starting to imagine how that could be my last moment. Some super simple things as well such as get on a car, crossing the road, stand on a balcony, sitting in my kitchen, etc.
Deep down I still don't want to exists I supposed. Is this behavior common? Should I be more concern?
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depression
|
My biggest problem with social darwinism, is that it ignores any question of scale.
Real darwinism focuses on the individual's genes, and assumes that if they live long enough to procreate, they are a "success" as long as their progeny survives long enough to procreate, ad infinitum.
(Don't get me started about r-selected and K-selected offspring, I'd be here all day)
When it's social darwinism being discussed, then genes aren't contained in DNA, they're contained within our language, our money, our policies, rules,and safety standards.
The unit of natural selection is not necessarily the breeding individual, but oftentimes the family, the tribe, or even an entire nation. If the house burns down, its everyone in adgacent buildings who's impacted, not just the kid playing with matches.
In other ways, the level of selection can be even smaller than the individual, like when commercial entities sell addictive experiences and also addiction recovery services. "Conflicts of interest" don't always apply to corporate legal entities, not if there is money to be made.
This stuff all comes rushing into my head as I read about people's struggles here to find a nourishing way to engage with others. I don't hold with social darwinism at all, it's hogwash - but it's also at the center of many neurotypical's thinking when they decide whether or not being seen in our company will enhance their social status.
Likewise I find myself rejecting an entire group of people at once, when I see individuals mistreat other individuals in the group, and it goes seemingly unnoticed.
*not* being part of a group can certainly hurt my chances of survival, and so too belonging to the wrong kind of group can be even more dangerous than going it alone. I sometimes wish I could instinctively navigate these waters like NTs can, but using my words is what I am stuck doing. Thanks for listening!
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aspergers
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umm yeah i’ve been struggling really hard for a long time i’ve known i had adhd since i was a senior in highschool. i’m a freshman in college now and i’m at the point where i’ve fallen so far behind because i just can’t bring myself to study even though it’s all i think about, im just so tired honestly i thought i was suicidal before buts it’s nothing compared to what i’m feeling now i’m just so tired i want to be able to work hard like everyone else and i know i have it in me i just don’t know how. studying and focusing has always been so hard for me. i’m so envious of people who are able to get diagnosed and treated, my family doesn’t believe in that stuff and i don’t know where to even get started i just want to talk to a doctor but my parents never even made it a norm to take me to the doctor regularly so im not sure how any of it works.
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ADHD
|
I finally did it!!! After two years of switching my major, depression episodes, and procrastination, I am admitted into an online college for software development starting this January! I graduated high school and community college both early and then just completely flopped at a four year, picked a major that wouldn’t take me anywhere at an online college, then just decided to work at a factory until I physically couldn’t anymore, but now I am completing an IT certificate then going back to college for my bachelors degree! My psych has been helping me figure out my meds and has been so patient with me when I keep forgetting to take them, but I’m almost to a month without a missed day now and I can really feel them working! I actually feel like a really person and I can focus on my work for my certificate. My husband has even noticed a difference! I’m also trying to get into therapy, but literally all of the therapists I have emailed (like 20) aren’t accepting new patients so that’s something I have to keep working at, but I’m really happy with my progress! I just wanted to have a little bit so humble brag! I’m really proud of myself! I was told I’d never make it and here I am! I should have a bachelors degree a year from now!
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ADHD
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Everything just seems hazy. My head hurts. I’m getting weird compulsions. I’ve already punched a hot frying pan cuz food was sticking. Hit my head a few times with it too. I don’t feel like a fully here
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depression
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Ok but why did the nurse AND Dr laugh when I said I have ocd? I'm medicated for it and am not just self diagnosing. I have a rash and it's driving me insane and they're telling me to just wash my hair and moisturize. BRO I SHAMPOO MY HAIR 3X AND MOISTURIZE THIS IS PART OF THE PROBLEM! I'm already always itchy. Why are the people who are supposed to help me not taking me seriously? I was up all night scratching until I bleed. Thats not an issue?! 😠🥲
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OCD
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I want to know that I am not alone, I usually do this to ensure that I will not like the thoughts, which are horrifying.
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OCD
|
One of the things I’ve always struggled with having ADHD is my social skills, I’m really bad at keeping and holding conversations. My friends said I do talk as if I had something wrong with me (which kind of hurt my feelings not gonna lie lol) but I’ve really never noticed I just thought I was socially awkward. What really called it out for me is the way my managers at my job and my teachers would talk to me. This couldn’t be related to ADHD at all since I’m just naturally a nice and sort of quiet person but it’s kind of bothering me now. Does anyone else relate too me or is this just a me problem 😂
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ADHD
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I’ve posted a lot here lately but I’m not feeling well. I’m just wondering what this would be, I have had OCD since childhood, I can remember all the way back to when I was 3 years old and I don’t remember a time where I did not have OCD. I don’t think this is OCD but I’m wondering if any of you have experienced it? When I was a kid, like before elementary school I remember always feeling too old for things that were made for kids my age. When I got into Kindergarten kids would talk about TV shows and I would never say it out loud but I was always shocked they watched those since I thought we were way too old for cartoons. Same with toys and games that they would play, I was shocked that these 5 year olds were acting like children. I remember trying to be like them and do things that they did but it made me feel uncomfortable. I heard they kids saying they would pretend to be asleep so their parents would carry them to bed so I tried it once and then entire time I wanted to cry so bad, I felt disgusting and so uncomfortable and never did it again. I feel like I’m a fucking alien, why did I have to pretend to be a kid when I WAS a kid??
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OCD
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Hello all,
I have a question regarding my medication, and if anyone from the UK can maybe help me with.
I've been off work sick for the last two and a half weeks with a broken bone in my wrist. As such I am on SSP. I haven't been able to afford my medication in this time and have been without for the last week or two. I only got diagnosed in June, and while I was making good progress, I feel like i am regressing without the meds this last week. The cost of a diagnosis letter and a shared care agreement for the Psych I seen is over £200, the cost of a prescription is £50 and the medication itself is £100.
Does anyone know if I am able to receive any sort of help in regards to my medication? It's an incredibly frustrating situation.
Many Thanks,
Andy
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ADHD
|
I’m obsessed with the idea that I’m going to hell which drives my compulsions because there’s no way of telling whether it would actually happen because I have no idea if hell is even real. I’m not even religious in any kind of way and yet my brain goes into panic mode thinking that I’m going to go hell lol is this weird
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OCD
|
Well background information before i start so i moved to a new state after 11 years of living in Phoenix Arizona. This happened a year after the move so i was 12 around the time and let me tell you i was so pure and naive and clingy so it affected me alot. So i used to live at my grandas senior house thing called wesley towers and then we got kicked out because we weren't supposed to be there ( the only reason we lived there was because we were very poor and had no family there so yeah). So then me my brother and sister had to be away from our parents and were sent to this horrible place called noyes home. Let me tell you why it was horrible. My brother was comforting me because i was crying because i missed our parents, then they kicked him out because "he was at the girls area at the kitchen and that was against the rules". I don't remember how many days later after that happened i broke down because my room was so far away from my sister's and they wouldn't let me see her because it was night time or very early morning i don't remember. So my 12 year old self decided to go out of the emergency exit (which was in my room) and i didn't realize that it would lock behind me ( it was in November and where we live it is very cold around that time) so i started panicking because 1. No one knew i was out there 2. I could possibly die because I am not used to the cold. I dont know how long it took for me to get helped but then i was back inside but i was going to get into trouble obviously so they then asked me to bring some stuff from my room that i treasured ( i still dont have a clue where my necklace is at by the way). So then when i was done they took me to someone's car which i thought was going to be a normal drive (how naive of me). We suddenly were at a hospital i thought they were going to check up on me so when they were done they took me to the ambulance which then i started to panic because i then realized i was not going back to noyes home so i started to cry but got comforted by one of the people in the ambulance. Later on i fell asleep for idk how long. We then were at the mental hospital (it was in another city) so they woke me up my mind goes blank and then I was in my room in the mental hospital and i had a nightmare so i went to one of the employees and they helped me by giving me a teddy bear and i slept peacefully. So i am not going into lots of details but they had this room where you would be put there if you were being aggressive it was white and had one door and no windows i was put there for alot of times but i got better at not showing anger which is why i am now passive aggressive. So about the self harm thing yes i got super depressed because i thought that my family didnt want to see me when in reality no one in noyes home told anyone where I was including my family so i got no visits ( which was very bad since I was and still am very connected to my family because we always had each other's back and i used to tell them how i felt so being at the mental hospital was very bad for my mental health) so i would secretly hurt myself in a way it didn't look like i was harming myself on purpose. So i was in there for a week when it felt like a month. So when my mom and dad got the news they immediately went to see me and got me out of the mental hospital ( by the way everyone there were like angels and even though it was traumatic i am thankful for those who tried to help me there). So when i was there i gained some issues that i am still struggling with to this day. Examples like depression, social anxiety, a fear that i might disappoint everyone and that they will abandon me, holding in my feelings, and a fear of asking help. Right now i am fifteen years old and last year we had to go back to the noyes home in case your wondering why didn't i just call my parents well at noyes home you have to be on a certain level to call your parents and to see them too. I was always at level 3 or 2 so to call or to go to their visits you had to be at 5 or 4. I used to be so extroverted but now i am a extroverted introvert and i sometimes pretend to be happy. Do i still harm myself yes but only when i feel like i should punish myself and when i am anxious i scratch myself. I do try to ask for help but it is so hard since i was so used to being ignored i decided to stop. Yeah also sorry for posting this long story.
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ptsd
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I know there's a mega thread with various tips and apps out there, but I'm looking for something specific.
I function on to-do lists, and I need one that is always with me, ideally on my phone. Problem is that if I have to unlock my phone and open an app to access it, I often won't make it that far without getting caught up in something else on my phone. It would be amazing if there was a to-do list app that would leave my incomplete tasks as notifications that I could view from the lock screen. I don't want anything I have to schedule, because it makes creating the list too much of a hassle. Just something where anything on my list is still a notification.
Does anyone know of an app with this kind of functionality?
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ADHD
|
In 2015 I got a good job and came to this city. In 2016 I enrolled in a fantastic paramedic program. It was tough working full time and still being in school, but I had a good job with good people and if I fell asleep in the back room from 9am to 11am from exhaustion every so often people covered for me. School was rough in its own way, but I was good at it. I graduated without any real issues and got what I thought was my dream job as a Fire Paramedic in 2018. Ho boy was THAT an adjustment. Working 911 is almost like showbusiness as there's nothing quite like it, but I did okay. For all their bluster and shouting all the officers really wanted was for you to not be lazy and/or a moron. I'm pleased to say I have the Fire Department stamp of approval as being neither. The work was hard, but I had good people around me. I had a Captain who had a "the men always eat first" mentality and a station full of salt-of-the-earth dudebros. Dumber than dirt, but every one of them had a heart of gold. Then covid happened. First, it was quiet as everyone was terrified to call 911, then the storm. Nursing homes went up like covid-hot matchboxes and my days consisted of running from nursing home to nursing home and it was always some various stage of covid, usually death or imminent death but a handful you could just put on oxygen and they'd come back up. That wasn't bad all things considered. Politics were a major pain, but I had other things to worry about. I got covid, infection control wanted to kick my ass, then realized they had more important things to do than give my covid-hot ass a kinky playful pat on the butt.
Then everyone else started getting covid, and problems began. I was supposed to be the junior medic on a two medic ambulance, but we just didn't have enough medics. I was detailed out every single day to a different house. I went from having a partner and engine crew that I trusted with my life to total strangers. It was a train wreck of stress. Mistakes were made and people died, but this was June of 2020 and everyone was dying anyway. I don't really know when it started to drain on me. I think it was when I realized it had been 11 days in a row of someone's Mom/Dad/Aunt/Uncle/Sister/Brother/Son/Daughter/Cousin/Boyfriend/Girlfriend screeching in my ear that it can't be covid and that if I just took them to the hospital their Rigor Mortis would be reversed and they could all have dinner. Maybe it was the faith healer whose hand I broke when he tried to force his way into my ambulance and I shouldered the door on him. Maybe it was the guy who tried to stab me. Maybe it was just coming back from all that to a strange house and being told that I was being very rude by leaving a fork in the sink. Maybe it was the sweet blue-eyed radiology tech whom I'd gone on four or five dates with suddenly having a full-blown mental breakdown and telling me that she's checking herself into a psych hospital and I never heard from her or about her ever again. Maybe it was the look on the father's face when he handed me a 12-month-old who just had one too many blankets and suffocated. When I drilled into his tibia to give meds I couldn't help but think it was as soft as butter and how hungry I was.
I don't really know what happened, but one day of no particular incident I was driving home and I just called my Officer and resigned. That was about three months ago. Money is turning into a problem. My apartment is a mess because I just can't find the energy to clean it. Dishes have been piling up for a week. It's noon and showering today felt like an uphill battle. My brother wants me to sell my condo and move in with him. The guys from my old firehouse want me to go sparring with them. My Dad wants me to apply for disability. My friend from school wants me to come to his wedding. I don't care about any of it. I don't want to eat. Drinking doesn't help but for some reason, I keep doing it. Nothing I do makes me feel any different. I'm tired, but sleep doesn't help. I cry a lot, but I've given up trying to understand why. I'm surrounded by people, but I've never felt more alone.
​
EDIT: Thank you all. Thanks to your thoughts and kind words I genuinely feel a bit better and certainly more heard than I did this morning. I did the dishes, and tomorrow I think I'm going to do the laundry and start getting this place clean enough to sell it. Thank you all again.
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depression
|
How long is an acceptable timeframe to seek treatment for until you are allowed to kill yourself? Why do people want me to live a miserable life and forever seek treatment?
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depression
|
Hello, I'm having a lot of anxiety about returning to the workforce. My ptsd involves extended isolation and the pandemic has really flared up old wounds. I used to take citalopram and it really helped when dealing with the public. The only draw back was insomnia. I would take my meds at the crack of dawn, and still there was no sleep. The meds artificially pumped me up, so I went 10 years without adequate sleep, and my body was suffering, so I quit them about 5 years ago. I really need meds again. Just wondering if anyone else had insomnia as a side effect. I'm really hoping I can switch to a different medication, but I'll be pretty limited if I can't take SSRIs.
Obviously, I'm going to talk to a doctor. It's just they tend to have varying experience with mental medications and I go to a walkin. I like hearing other people's personal experiences. Thanks.
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ptsd
|
This has got to be a Aspie sensory thing. Even thinking about the sensation of someone sucking hard on my neck just throws me into thralls of disgust and almost anger. And the idea that I'd then walk around with a mark on my neck just seems exceeding juvenile. But everyday people just seem to be ok with the idea and say they enjoy giving and receiving them. Does anyone have a way to explain this or do y'all have similar reactions to them?
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aspergers
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Hi Reddit, could you offer some advice? Since my diagnosis, my psychiatrist has tried me on Ritalin (methylphenidate) and Vyvanse/Elvanse (lisdexamfetamine) - both of which have been brought to the maximum dose and neither of which have seemed to alleviate my symptoms.
I've seen some people take a combination of the two (i.e. one slow release Vyvanse in the morning with a quick release Ritalin booster in the evening). There's also the option of other drugs like Adderall, although i'm not sure if it is prescribed here in the UK.
My question is, has anyone else had a similar experience? Is it normal not to respond to two drugs in a row?
*--- Bonus - some extra info on my ADHD ---*
*My ADHD runs comorbidly with MDD. After 10 years trying different meds/therapies (currently Mirtazapine 45mg), it's becoming clear that a diagnosis of treatment-resistant depression (TRD) is more accurate. My ADHD mainly manifests in 'reward deficiency disorder'. In other words, I can count on one hand the number of times i've felt satisfied/happy in the past 10 years. I've travelled the world, seen objectively beautiful sights, met dozens of ostensibly interesting people, and done everything that should be considered satisfying on paper, but in almost every case, i've instead felt numb and have been left with a profound sense of emptiness where I know I should feel something. I'm still hopeful though. I've heard people talk of how their ADHD medication has helped them feel love, appreciation and a sense of connectedness with other human beings. With any luck, the right medication/treatment is out there so I can feel these things too!*
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ADHD
|
I've been working from home lately, and it's a disaster.
I know what I need to do and regularly find myself working on other things (like right now!).
So here's the thing: I cannot live an ADHD-free life and I never will. For better or worse, this is who I am.
But if I look at the factors I can control, environment is a big one.
A simple example: I'm sitting at my kitchen table, with my back to the wall, and entire kitchen is visible. Every time I look up, I *see* all sorts of stuff. A lot of that stuff has triggers attached to it.
Those triggers might mean nothing to my conscious mind, but my subconscious doesn't prioritize. It's just going to keep pointing things out and eventually, that hex ball focus is gonna bounce.
Yesterday, I tried will-powering through it and I came to feel exactly like I did back in the classroom, 30 years ago. (Note: this is what you were fighting as a kid; it's not your fault that it was hard).
So now, I'm going to try something different: minimalist work stations.
If I'm writing rough drafts, the only items in my space are going to be a notebook and a pen.
I'm going to face the wall, and hang up the relevant resources I need to access (templates, research material, etc.).
That ball is going to bounce no matter what. But perhaps we can build a 'container' around it and get a better handle on our minds.
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ADHD
|
I was looking for planners and journals for the past few weeks and found one that seemed quite interesting: [The Hero's Journal](https://theherosjournal.co/). It's a mix of daily planner and journal (with moments for reflection), the pages are all drawn with cartoons (you can even color it) and it also has some sort of storytelling going on (which seems exciting). And I think it's somewhat designed for people with ADHD...?
I wonder if anyone here has already tested this planner and if you have any personal experiences with it to share.
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ADHD
|
I'm 23 years old male with diagnosed autism and aspergers and 50percent severe mentaldisability.
I am very good at dating and building and maintaining friendships. I'm very skilled in smalltalk and social interactions and I more often manage to overcome my anxiety then to submit to it.
I want to help people with my failures and success experiences,so that you may not make the same mistakes I did.
Please ask me anything and I will answer your question in detail in a video!
Wish you good luck in these bad times!
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aspergers
|
Basically, I spoke to some of the people at my school who are in charge of well-being saying that there needs to be more ocd awareness in the community. I have ocd and I am sick of hearing students and even teachers saying ‘I’m so ocd’ or using it as a synonym for organised or liking neat highlighters. The people I spoke to suggested I make a presentation to share in an assembly, and I’m wondering what to include, because I want to make sure I get everything I can in. So far I have: what is ocd; obsessions and intrusive thoughts; compulsions and rituals; a brief bit on about five or six different themes; some stuff about it not being a joke; stuff about how the media portrays it and something about where to get help if you feel you need it (in case people are experiencing it and don’t know what it is). Any suggestions on what else I could include would be appreciated. Thanks
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OCD
|
I took vyvannse and adderall all throught middle school and high school. I stopped taking them after I graduated and its been 6 years of ups and downs but overall I just find it so hard to be happy. Yea I did struggle with depression for some years and I like to think ive mostly conquered it. But the day to day stuff man - hanging with the S.O. , talking with friends, a job that's fullfilling, doing things I like - its all just surface level joy never true happiness, I remember when I used to feel actually happy a little while after I started taking the drugs but ever since it slowly diminished and just never was the same. Anybody feel similar
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ADHD
|
I’m late to the party, 30’s. I’ve always been too proud to get diagnosed with even anxiety. Always check marked the “I’m so happy” box at doctor visits so they wouldn’t try to talk about anything other than adhd.
Well I had one head injury too many and it finally got me on the diagnosis train. Got called autistic by someone. One thing led to another and I looked up the symptoms. Explains a lot about why life seems to be set to max difficulty.
So I’m curious if anyone else got diagnosed late and if it helped knowing. Did restructuring your life with an asd playbook make things any easier?
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aspergers
|
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was in middle school. Failing all of my classes, couldn’t pay attention, had no motivation to do school work or any of the things that I enjoyed outside of school. I was prescribed Strattera for awhile and had a terrible experience with it and was then switched to Vyvanse which CHANGED MY LIFE. Unfortunately, my psychiatrist moved away and I was un-medicated for a few years. Now, here I am as a 21 year old struggling to keep up with my day to day life. I can’t remember anything, I lose everything I touch, I can’t stay focused at work or finish a task. I have stopped doing all of the things that I enjoy. I started seeing a new psychiatrist today hoping to talk to him about getting a prescription for my ADHD and possibly something for anxiety. I was told that they don’t treat adults with ADHD and “good luck finding someone who does” because adults should have learned how to manage it without medication by now. I was instead prescribed mood stabilizers and anti-depressants. Is this something that many of you have ran into as well? I’m not an adult trying to get diagnosed, I’ve already been diagnosed. I’m just trying to get treatment. I’m losing my mind and I’m so stuck on what I’m supposed to do. Are there any of you who have successfully been able to prove to your psychiatrist that you really need medicated in order to function like an actual adult or should I give up hope that I will ever get treatment in the form of medication again? I’m not asking for medical advice, just personal experiences.
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ADHD
|
Well, I guess you’ve heard that people want autism to be removed from DSM. It’s not a question about Asperger’s being removed and lumped with autism, it’s about removing ASD diagnosis completely so it’s not viewed as a disorder anymore. Moreover, some people on twitter say that autistic people should come to the conclusion that they have autism on their own(i guess it means by doing research/taking online tests) because letting neurotypical doctors decide who’s autistic and who’s not is ableist.
And i wonder how other autistic people feel about that?
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aspergers
|
Hey people.
First of all, I was never diagnosed with PTSD mostly because I thought my flashbacks were due to my anxiety and they're normal. Now I understand it might have been the other way around.
Anyways, I've come a long way in the past 8 years or so and now I am at a really good place mentally. House, dream job, family, time, money. Everything is there and I worked so hard for it all.
However it seems like the flashbacks have persisted, instead they are mostly beautiful memories, like the first day in daycare (ok that one was a tiny bit bad as well), tons of memories of me playing with my friends including the songs we used to sing etc.
I am used to terrible flashbacks and I've developed a mechanism to get out of them relatively effectively but in this case I obviously don't have to.
Anyone had any similar experiences? Does it mean I'm finally losing my marbles completely? Am I getting better? None of the above?
I'm confused. Thnx.
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ptsd
|
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
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depression
|
Hi Guys!
I'm in such a bad place right now, and I need to talk to someone about it. Is NAMI helpline a good and reliable idea?
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OCD
|
I have many issues with food that are fairly common. I can’t let my food touch, I have to eat sides one at a time, I have to use separate silverware for different things, and I can’t eat food without heating it up. But one of the stranger ones that I have is involved with drinking. Whenever I take a sip off of a cup, straw, can, etc, I have to take my hand and wipe off where my lips touched. It’s not germophobia because I’m aware that using my hand to touch where I’m drinking isn’t reducing the number of germs at all. It’s just something that I have to do. Has anyone else experienced this or something similar to it?
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OCD
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I’m a 2020 bride. Halloween 2020 to be exact. I had to completely replan my wedding 2 times last year (we had been planning this day for over 2 years prior to the *sickness*) (am I allowed to say the “C” word here?). We settled on a small intimate ceremony in a well known haunted colonial. Our reception was shelved until this year.
So that being said… why am I so much more a mess this time around compared to last year? I wasn’t even on medication last year and handled the pressure like a boss. But here I am, less than a month away with almost everything taken care of and my symptoms are through the roof. I wake up already overwhelmed, my mind going a mile a minute with three songs playing… my anxiety is causing my GERD to act up which in turn makes it hard to sleep at night which in turn makes my symptoms worse the next day from lack of sleep… it’s a viscous cycle.
My meds definitely help (20mg IR twice a day) but they are not working as long as they should or as well (I assume due to the acid, stress, lack of sleep).
I keep writing lists!!! Paper lists, lists on the chalkboard, lists on my phone. Over and over again. I am getting things done. I hand painted 30 pumpkins this weekend and hand glittered 27 spiderweb table runners. But the mornings are killing me. My body can’t get a chance to breath bc I wake up and BAM crisis mode. I couldn’t even tell you exactly what particular things are triggering it. It’s everything really.
How did I manage to re plan an entire wedding during the peek of the pandemonium, unmediated at that, but give me my ALREADY PLANNED OUT reception and I’m a mess? My memory is shit. My sleep is shit. I can’t eat bc my body either doesn’t feel good or I convince myself that eating is a waste of time. Not eating is making me feel even more shitty.
If you made it this far thank you for reading. Any advice would be appreciated but also just ranting to people who I know understand really helps.
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ADHD
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This is something I have had to deal with for the past 5-6 years. I would not do anything I enjoy because I feared I would have something bad happen in my life. I once went to visit my grandparents grave and then the next day my car broke down. I don’t know why I associate bad things happening to me being happy or doing something I enjoy but I’m going to challenge that over the next two months.
I’m going to get back into shape and be the best me, mentally, physically and financially. I’m going to buckle down and challenge my OCD and not let it conquer me.
Do you also deal with this thought process? “if I’m happy then bad things will happen so I will stay depressed and unhappy”
Share your experiences!
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OCD
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I try to be a good person. I really have minimal impact on the world with how cooped up in my house I am all day every day. Despite me trying to do things right and make it through the day to day the unjust cruel nature of life seems to want to throw things at me and at times it feels intentionally stacked when i’m at my lowest. It just fucking piles on and feels like I could do nothing but simply breathe all day and still the cosmic randomness of the universe would give me bad news or events to experience for seemingly no reason. I have nobody to blame for it it’s just the nature of our world but I fucking hate the fact that i’m sentient enough of a creature to recognized how routinely fucked i’m getting… it’s crushing for my soul and I just want this unending bullshit to end.
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depression
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At this point, I don’t really have issues with forcing myself to sit in a chair and putting away distractions, I rarely procrastinate anymore, and I can focus well enough with the help of medication. However, I still find myself up in the late hours of the night studying just because there aren’t enough hours in the day, or taking much longer than other students to complete things. I have extended time on exams as an accommodation, which helps immensely, but it’s not like I get extra time to study. It’s getting frustrating because I feel at this point that it’s not an issue of time management, but rather of speed and efficiency. I barely get any sleep nowadays because I stay up so late studying almost every night, which I know can make things even worse. It’s even a problem at work—I take longer than everyone else to complete tasks, even though the end product of my work is just as good as theirs.
How can I pick up the pace without sacrificing quality or thoroughness? Please share any tips or advice you may have—I’d love to hear what has worked for you all, if you can relate. Thanks!
Edited to add a sentence/change a couple words
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ADHD
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A new study came out showing that autism may not completely be the result of abnormal brain development, but with issues of the mitochondria that might be treatable. To me this is good news, because like the authors say, figuring out how to rewire the brain is way more difficult than repairing the mitochondria. What do those of you who are more science oriented and versed in this type of thing think? Is treatment finally on the horizon?
[https://www.genengnews.com/news/autism-link-to-mitochondrial-defects-may-enable-metabolic-therapies/](https://www.genengnews.com/news/autism-link-to-mitochondrial-defects-may-enable-metabolic-therapies/)
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aspergers
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