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I just found this subreddit after another sleepless night alone in bed at the firehouse. I am up constantly with night terrors until I am so exhausted I pass out and sleep through the tones when we get a call.
You guys are awesome. I have spent the last hour reading through supportive and informative posts and comments. I am not alone.
I struggle with ptsd as a firefighter/EMT, and I handle a cadaver dog for a regional search and rescue team. The terrible sleep schedule and a handful of concussions don't help with the brain fog/memory loss. I have been considering changing career paths, but I have spent my entire life training and helping people. I'm terrified of not having that sense of purpose any longer. The idea of not being thrust into intense situations or my people no longer relying on me is almost unbearable to think about.
But I can't keep going. I feel like my life is falling apart. I have a wonderful wife and child at home who love me. My mind is always in clouds, I am kept up at night, I am paranoid in public, always tense unless we are completely secured at home with my rifle nearby. My memory is poor. I cannot enter a room that my wife is in unless I call her name first. Checking on my son while he is sleeping causes me to tremble and cry. I believe I hide it well, though. My wife didn't even know that I struggled for over two years. A couple years ago I had a breakdown one evening when I came home late and called out her name into the dark bedroom. I did not hear her respond, and I watched the still, dark silhouette of her sleeping body on the bed. My mind jumped to the worst. So now she knows.
Rage consumes me. The more I run on children the more I have a deep burning desire within me to hunt down every last mother fucker who wishes to do harm to innocent people.
I have a sleep study scheduled for later this week. I am not fully convinced they will be able to help. I guess I fall into the "imposter syndrome" trap sometimes. But its a step. I saw a therapist once. Within an hour she told me to color and to take meds. Lol. I am considering jiu jitsu. Something physical and (safe) aggressive will likely be therapeutic for me.
Anyways, thank you guys. Ya'll are pretty neat.
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ptsd
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i got diagnosed with adhd and autism nearly 3 years ago now, and ive trialled every adhd med thats been available to me. please dont recommend other ones to me in this post lol, i was just wondering if anyone else has tried to get medicated and found out they cant. as much as im happy for other people with adhd for finding their miracle medication, it also upsets me because those medications messed with me enough that in my psychiatrist notes it basically says no more trials lmao. just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience.
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ADHD
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My parents have told me “you should try to find someone that thinks like you in terms of your Asperger’s” and I look at it like it’ll be two people that don’t understand their own emotions, yet alone someone else’s, that’s why a NT would be more understanding and empathetic right? Or wrong? I explain everyone with Asperger’s don’t think the same, everyone’s different.
To be honest, I don’t think I want a partner or kids, I don’t know, sex is amazing and all when it’s loving but the stress and the drama that comes with a partner and kids, fuck that shit.
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aspergers
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need advice see this girl I made out with she’s was 16 the age of consent is 16 I made out with her this one time I ask this girl to kiss like just one kiss and I started saying like plz just one only if u want to and I had memories like her shaking her Head like no but when I had that same memory about her shaking her head it didn’t feel as real I still feel really gulity I felt gulity Because I was wondering what if I hurt her what if I hurt her bad she said I hurt her at times but later apologized for all them explaining she didn’t mean it she was only mad but I still have worries like what if she didn’t mean the apology what if she felt sorry for me what if u know idk what to do I feel gulity idk what to I still have worries after I talk with her about it said if I hurt u can be honest with me I won’t be mad she said no I feel gulity what do I do
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OCD
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I haven't made a decision either way yet, but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna kill myself soon. The last 3 years have been too much for me to bear. It just gets worse, and no matter what I try there is no forward momentum or joy to find anywhere.
I've lost weight (over 50lbs), gained a PhD, moved out after lockdowns, stopped doing drugs totally. But I can't get moving again. I can't get a job. I haven't had a relationship in over 3 years. I am now just a drag on my friends and family, living out a cold and grey existence. I can't remember the last time something good happened, and I'm gonna take the hint and move on.
The best thing I can do for them is financial relief at this point. Can anyone point to good resources (UK-relevant preferably) that'll allow me to direct my assets where I want in an ironclad way? Someone should benefit from my life, finally.
Thank you
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depression
|
CW: Self Harm / Suicide
Throw away because people know my other account.
I'm thinking this will be my last Christmas. I'm done. It hurts, and I'm just tired. I'm tired of continuously trying. I'm tired of being sad, losing hope, and really the only thing getting me through is the thought that this could all be over in a few weeks.
I love Christmas, so I'm going to enjoy it. I'll enjoy being with family one last time. Enjoy being with my pets and having some semblance of happiness. Then it'll be over, and I'll be free. It sounds... relieving, to be honest.
I'm not reaching out for help. I'm not asking for people here to tell me not to do it. I've heard it time and time again. I'm just looking forward to my last Christmas.
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depression
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Hello
I am 20 years old and as of today a college dropout.
I came back home today from the town I studied at.
I had an argument wit my mother about me dropping out and me always being disconnected from everything, being indifferent, and closing myself and locking myself in my room.
Well al of that is true, and for the last 4 to 5 years I have been struggling with constant low mood, sadness, loneliness, general lack of motivation and a ruinous sleep schedule.
So for the first time I broke down in front of her and said that I have a problem and that I am not ok and started crying several times.
She told me I should stop crying because I am a man and can't allow myself to cry, and asked me what the problem was
I really don't know what is the problem and why I feel so miserable all of the time it is possible and highly likely I suffer from depression but I do not want to jump to conclusions because I have never visited someone qualified to diagnose me.
All of the things I am feeling right now have increased tenfold because of what happened this year and my mental health has really deteriorate to such low levels that I can only either cry myself to sleep or drink myself to sleep
Parents berating me for this is just increasing the issue and making me feel even more stressed and sad, but despite all off that I still love them very much.
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depression
|
The stuff of OCD nightmares: Going to jail, getting arrested, falsely sued by Karen’s or something. The sad thing is so many innocent people, especially Black men, have been behind bars for so many years for crimes they never committed. And Karen lawsuits and stuff - and look at the story of Carolyn Bryant and Emmitt Till. It’s downright frightening knowing that innocent people can get fucked by a system upheld by white supremacy.
Yes, incredibly incredibly rare but this is the shit OCD feeds off of. The rare but disastrous things. And it doesn’t help that Karen’s roam around getting people arrested for crap, filing Karen frivolous lawsuits, playing with the legal system, gettin people messed up - and almost all Karen’s get away with this. It’s crazy and incredibly frightening if you have OCD.
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OCD
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Is there a difference? (Not asking for medical advice, asking for the distinction).
Are flashbacks always sudden (like turning on a light switch) or can they slowly happen like turning a dial?
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ptsd
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I still have to sleep with my mom to fall asleep. I have stolen money and harmed others but my parents still insist they love me. I can't remember to take a shower or have the will to do it. Plus I can't do basic things like laundry or making a bed. My parents take away my electronics at night. I have a job but already feel dumb. I have meltdowns weekly that sometimes include me throwing myself down the stairs or trying to kill something. I was diagnosed late at 18 with autism. I was also an orphan that was neglected until I was adopted. How do I fix all these issues?
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aspergers
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It definitely put a target on my back but I kept doing the opposite of what was considered "normal" as a child and teen. My reasoning was that these trends were followed by bitchy "popular" peers and brainlet bullies alike and i didn't want to be anything like them. The reaction from most at the time seemed to be to take it personally.. and yet others years later tell me how cool they think i was for standing out. I certainly didn't feel cool at the time and my mental health and self esteem have never suffered so much.
Now i need a good excuse for everything i do. for instance l really love having teal hair, but it also gives me a way to dismiss why people might be staring at me out in public. It's almost like i expect my existence to be provocational to people...
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aspergers
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I feel like I need someone to talk to but don't know what to do I feel like nobody understands me
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depression
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I hate it so much I wish I could just feel normal and think normally again.
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OCD
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Can POCD affect being horny ?
I kinda developed this coping mechanism whenever I get stress over being into teenagers, I basically go think/ fetishize about woman my age or older or if I’m home I go masturbate. Usually when I’m done with my business, If I come back to what cause the trigger, I will be fine. I got scared cuz it could meant that I was really attracted to the teen and now that I’m not horny I’m not. But when masturbating, if their images pop into my head, I cannot continue masturbating like I physically can’t or sometime it makes it go soft, but I don’t know if that’s just my morals coming into play. Could it just be because we are just more calm after masturbation?
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OCD
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I'm 23 and am frowned upon from people around my age, because I'm not interested in drinking alcohol. I get called "old" or "stuck up" just because it's not my thing. I know it's a social thing, but why so often alcohol? Am I just around the wrong people for me?
I still try to hang out, but often end up being the only one not drunk and quiet, while the people around me get emotional and louder. People often asume I'm the driver in a group, but I can't even drive and have to explain myself why I don't drink.
I often engage in the start because I'm comfortable around the people, but as people get drunker I get quieter and I just hold out till everybody goes home. Is it really a 'me problem'?
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aspergers
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Hi everyone. I'm a 32 year old male. Recently diagnosed as OCD (pure O type) About to start treatment ,both pharmacological and cognitive behavioral therapy. Also have been diagnosed with moderate depression and high IQ. I was diagnosed in the past as ADHD, Aspergers and plain anxiety disorder, but none of those diagnoses seemed to fit me until i got this OCD dx. The doctor explained to me why i had this disorder, making a detailed analysis of my life and my way of thinking. Nor the treatment having those dxes was very helpful. My new diagnosis explains better with i'm such a neurotic mess most of the time. My dad had it undiagnosed, and had major problems on his life because of it. I've made of lot of emotional work, and have to come to forgive my dad for his mistakes, but still think about how he screwed his life because he refused any treatment.
Now, i just want to live a peaceful life. My OCD has burned me out badly going through this covid pandemic. I've developed explosive rage issues. Have cried a lot. Tons of absurd thoughts going to my head and hammering me endlessly with stupid and irrational doubts. I feel very tired and drained. Feel no energy to do anything without feeling like going crazy. I have no gf, don't wanna have it at this moment. Have some friends form high school and uni, I don't need more. I work to this day as a teacher but I hate it, lack the patience to tolerate my alumni, Haven't lashed out at them yet, but sometimes i feel like i wanna do it. I'm probably quitting my job on December and going to another city where my brother lives. I'm hoping for a new start, but sometimes i feel like i can't go on. Thanks for reading.
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OCD
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hi, I struggle with ptsd, and I hear things alot, I hear the people I lost calling me, and I hear gunshots alot
for context I'm David, 17 male, I suffer with ptsd, and schizophrenia, and I lost and still are loosing people in my life from suicide to natural cause, to cancer, I've lost so many people, and I can't really let go, I see them sometimes around me, I hear them call out sometimes, but I got ptsd from a guy who ran a daycare for years, 2 to be exact, have been drugged 3 times now, raped one of those times and two successful escapes, and I watched my friend get shot and killed infront of my eyes, and another shot in his shoulder,
I hate being alive, I can't sleep at night and when I get my little sleep for the night it's always nightmares, rarely do I get any other type of dream, I always hear things, and sometimes I see that sleep demon (like when you are fully awake but can't move and you see a shadow watching you) I see that but for me it's my friend who was shot dead and I just hear her blame me for not being able to save her, when this happens I barely function, I'm extremely on edge and easily put into fight or flight which I'm almost always a fight guy,
but last night it happened and all of today my mum her husband and my grandpa were pulling me everywhere, even though I said I wasn't feeling good (my parents don't really believe me that I have the before mentioned brain things but I have been diagnosed with both) but I'm pulled everywhere, my mum and her husband drag me to the store, and just treat me like shit, I got that over and needed a huge breather, I locked the bathroom door and hid in the tub, I cried for a bit and my grandpa knocked on the door and asked me to get out because I'd been in there for hours (it's been less then 25 minutes) and I composed myself and faced him and asked what he wanted, he want to go to the store, the exact one we just left, I tell him I'd rather not but he keeps pushing me, I can tell I'm not gonna win so I just agree, the entire time he was telling me I'm lazy and need to work ( I had a job at Kroger a year or two ago and bought my car) I was getting pretty angry and felt some tears coming on but I tried as hard as possible to keep both in check we finished and I got in bed covered myself and cried for a long while, I tried to sleep and took a short nap, but I relived the whole thing like I was back, I was laying in the back of the car, we were smoking weed as they were the best to smoke with, then the loud shot started and I kept laying down and covered my eyes and face, but when it stopped and I uncovered my face I saw her, a hole in her head and more holes in her, and a hole in my friend, I didn't get shot, but I was close.
I texted a girl who I'm interested in but she used to watch out for me after the shooting, I needed to rant and she was just like "we live in Memphis so it happens" at that moment, my day went from fucking nightmare, to I'm just gonna isolate myself further, I'm no longer interested talking or in her at all,
if you made it here thank you, my family are extremely shitty people and treat me like shit, my mum is the worse offender, I'll probably make a post about her too, because this is anonymous I'm fine with it, but really hate people today, I struggle everyday without my nightmares and hallucinating, but this really put me over the edge today, I love you guys stay safe please
UPDATE 1: this is something I forgot to mention, but there another I see, it's not as tramatic as the before mentioned, but it's still horrible, I had (emphasis on had) a friend this year who was weird, but I put aside the things I didn't like about him, but he was severely narcissistic, self centered and a complete phycopath (sorry about spelling) we were "friends" for about a year prior but I guess he forgot I existed and we re connected, and I was friends with another guy, we're cool, we went to get food together alot, even though it was against school policy, we didn't care, and me and the phycopath hook up, but after this is when it gets downhill so fast, phyco re hooks up with his ex who is a scrawny piece of fucking shit, but they hook up while we are still dating, and he starts asking me really red flag questions, and weeks go by and this mother fucker this abs, gonna cut myself off because I can make a whole Bible about this cunt, but this phyco I will call it because he's trans and I respect and have been with and have friends who are trans and I love them but I don't respect people who do horrible things, it sent me pictures of a dog's head, no body, in a full thing of dish soap to and I quote " to help remove the fur and meat from it's bones" and later told me that it put the dogs heart in the freezer and put a note saying "for (name) from (name) next Valentine's, I was in so much shock cause I was in class, I needed to step out and told the other friend what happened, I sent screenshots and we got it arrested, but sadly there wasn't a happy ending, yes it did get PRISON TIME, because it was 18 so prison for animal cruelty, but paid bail and it was seen at my school's office, but gladly never came back, and still hasn't, but I still see that poor dogs head when I pet my cat, there about the same size, and sometimes when I look at my dog because I'm afraid for him, but me and the other guy arnt cool anymore because of one friend and him arguing about something stupid, and I stayed out of it best I could, but I miss him, we were really chill,
if you don't believe me about the story above just look up "Smith killed dog" and maybe put in Memphis too, but yeah
EDIT 2: I made that update not to long ago like minutes ago but I had a night terror and woke up, ears ringing and breathing really fast, but I grabbed a stuffed animal my best friend gave me for my birthday a long time ago and I feel a little better, that nap I tried to take was my first successful attempt to sleep all night so I'm gonna try again in a bit
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ptsd
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Does anyone have experience with it? I know you have to taper your dosage but I’m still scared of the side effects.
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depression
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Like isn't that literally their job to play somone they actually aren't.
I don't think there's anyone above 12 who thinks "oh Robert de niro isn't a gangster????" Or "Samuel l Jackson isn't the coolest black guy on earth???"(maybe he is . Idk)
But the point is writing is far more important for goód resprestation rather than the people who are playing the characters
Guys remember I said "writing" if the writing is good the resprestation would be good if it isn't no matter who you cast it doesn't matters
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aspergers
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So I'll try my best to keep this anonymous but I specifically created a Reddit account to ask what the slowly community thinks of this interaction.
I also haven't responded, I don't really know what to say to that. I feel awful about it all. Their partner actually forced them to block me on all plarforms which upset me actually.
So I live in the EU and about 6/7 months ago, I get an automatch letter from someone on another continent. Things go well and we exchanged about 7/8 letters until they fell totally silent for about a month. Thinking nothing if it I sent them a "hey don't worry, hope all is good" to make sure they were still okay.
They replied to this and responded by asking for my social media handle so that they could DM me because they don't have enough time in their day to use slowly any more. "cool" I thought, I've actually made a proper penpal!
Well the last message I received from them before yesterday was a month ago and then I suddenly get a message saying that their partner doesn't want them using slowly or social media to contact penpals anymore and that they're breaking it off with their penpals.
What do you guys think of that?
Edit: I just checked now and theyve deleted all social media. I feel awful.
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aspergers
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//Repost from Discord, and really need some support if anyone can spare it.// 50 y/o, lifelong out of place, recently coming to terms with why. Too much anxiety and depression my whole life, and not sure if this realization helps or hurts, but wow am I worn out. Not sure how much longer I care to care, and hoping to connect to other older/similar aspies to see why it matters and find strategies to keep me going. In a truly perfect relationship I’ve never deserved for 30+ years with a wife who’s been kicking stage 4 cancer’s ass for 5+ years, so there’s that, and a lot of other unacknowledged shit I can’t find a way to think through. Only talk when I’m drunk so being out of touch is usually a good sign, not a bad one.
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aspergers
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I used to think everyone looked up to me because I consider myself as smart and I found out that my family thinks with my level of intelligence I’m gonna end up mediocre in the future I rlly love science and technology and I have built things like high class lasers or 40kV tazers but they said it’s not hard to do so, it wasn’t hard for me but still there was some level of hardship and they think they could do better when they know nothing about those things sometimes I really do wish they didn’t exist and I would be better mentally with out them.
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depression
|
I believe I have undiagnosed ADHD. Would Adderall turn me into a zombie or help me live my life like a normal person
I’m 20. i’m in really rough shape. i just ate for the first time in 4 days. depression and a lot is hitting me. please tell me adderall won’t not work on me please tell me adderall won’t not work on me
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ADHD
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Feeling shame is the only way I can relax.
Feeling shame is the only way I can experience sexual pleasure.
I can’t get rid of shame because it’s the only way I know how to enjoy life.
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OCD
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How is everyone with harm OCD doing??
I’ve had a better two or three weeks. My OCD thoughts and feelings have gotten more sporadic and I feel more normal right now.
One thing that I know has helped has been eating healthier and getting more time out in the sun. I’ve lost about 30 pounds and have been eating a lot less processed foods and sugar. (I eat wayyy too much sugar)
Anyways, let me know how y’all are doing and I will be praying for ya. Community is good!!!
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OCD
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Hello, 17-year-old Aspie here. I'm just wondering if anyone else does vocal stimming or anything.
As a conlanger, I have noticed that sometimes I make random noises to see how they sound, and it has become enough of a habit that it might very well count as a vocal stim.
I also say random gibberish words sometimes, see what works in my conlang; I like phonaesthetics and such.
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aspergers
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I feel like I'm too rational for life sometimes. Even for rational NTs who are supposedly rational.
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aspergers
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I have a four and a half year old and a two year old and as most four and a half into year olds are they are very loud. So long as I'm prepared for it I can handle the loud noise but my four and a half year old has this habit of screaming pretty much right into my ear. The majority of the screaming is not because they're upset it's because they're just young kids and they scream But I have a really bad reaction to it it makes parenting really hard.
I'm getting a lot better at managing my reaction but I'm wondering if anybody has any tips for how to convince my son to tone it down.
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ptsd
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I attempted back in 2017, I was given a psychiatrist that works at the hospital I was rushed to. She says I have persistent depression, I agreed because I've been quite a sad sausage growing up. She also said I have ADHD because I had a hard time in school (she didn't properly asses me, just said I have ADHD). It's quite hard to find psychiatrist's in my country so I didn't bother finding one I chose.
She prescribed a bunch of meds that didn't work. She gave me a new batch and it worked for a while but since last year I noticed a decline in my energy, motivation and attention. I waste most of my time on my phone because when I try to do anything else I just can't sit there and finish it besides work and this makes me depressed because I feel my quality of life has also declined.
I talked to her about it and she upped my dosage again. She doesn't talk to me much about my feelings, she usually talks over me and rushes our sessions. I plan on finding a new psych but I'm scared she's just gonna pump me full of drugs too.
My psych now never mentioned a game plan or what course of action qe're going to take to beat my depression. I don't want to be on meds for the rest of my life. It's really draining my wallet.
I'm casually sewersidal and have been all my life. I've also tried to see psychologists but the therapy I recieve doesn't seem ro help either.
Is there anything I can do to help myself get better without medication? Or seeing somebody for it? I'm at my wits end. Please help me.
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depression
|
Has anyone here had luck with this book? Are there ADHD friendly tips to try?
I really want friends! I have read plenty of posts on here where people are saying they don't have friends and it's hard .
Anyone out there who DOES have friends and willing to give advice?
Or, anyone with ADHD loved ones willing to help us understand?
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ADHD
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Clarifying right off the bat that i’m unmedicated and medication currently isn’t possible right now, unsure when it will be. I understand it may help but i can’t do it at this current moment. maybe it will change in the future but i don’t know.
some more information about me, i’m a
minor, diagnosed adhd for two years now but i’ve had it my whole life, pronouns are they/them.
and now onto my mini vent..looking for support, not particularly advice because i know the only answers are therapy and medication.
ADHD is ruining my life. I have a job, which is great. amazing. i’m failing at it due to the fact that if what i need to do is right in front of me i’ll forget about it. i can’t hold eye contact, and i accidents stare at people when zoning out. i work restaurant in FOH so this isn’t good. but i love my job and don’t wanna quit so that’s great
on top of that i don’t understand social cues at all and it leaves everyone feeling awkward because i don’t understand shit.
i feel like i need constant reminders to just fucking exist.
i annoy everyone in my life by talking about my hyper fixations..
i’m failing school because i can’t focus long enough to do the work and then i’m zoning out, i can’t sit to long and get restless and annoyed. thankfully online has helped with the last bit but i’m also extroverted and made my other mental health issues worse by not being social.
overstimulation sucks. under stimulation sucks.i can’t find the balance.
i just wish i could be normal? my neurotypical sister doesn’t need to worry about this. yet i do. and i hate it so much. i just can’t believe i’m slowly ruining my whole life due to something i can’t change
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ADHD
|
i've noticed in the past that i tend to hyper-fixate on something during anything sexual. easiest example is masturbation. if it's porn, i can't really get an erection unless my brain understands what specific thing is causing the majority of my arousal, so it has to pick one. maybe that's the tits, power dynamic, theme, whatever. like in a weird way i cannot just simply "watch" it. my brains NEEDS to understand which one specific thing to be mostly aroused by. like at least around 60%.
i also noticed that i can't overstimulate myself either. i tried, but it doesn't work. the orgasm was actually pretty shitty and a let down, because again, my brain was trying to split its attention to 2 things and i just can't do that. it almost kind of sucks to know that i can't really stack pleasure like that. i don't benefit from having multiple options at the same time. guess that means threesomes are off the table.
in some cases, there are simply too many perfect factors at one time that my brain basically shuts off and loses arousal somewhat altogether because it knows its incapable of picking something. those instances probably suck the most, since its really just a case of something being too perfect and me having no clue what to prioritize. its like my arousal just grays out.
with that being said, i very easily CAN change what that "one thing" is as long as its a progression. the last thing needs to naturally end and the next thing needs to be as good or better. that's actually pretty much the only way my arousal can continue to increase from the baseline (which is already quite high).
i only really just now made the connection to this thing i've noticed & adhd, so now i'm wondering how common this is. i am comorbid with BPD, resulting in me being very hypersexual. so i could understand if this post is a miss for the overwhelming majority of people here.
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ADHD
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My (17f) girlfriend (also 17f) has OCD, I want to know how to be the best partner I can for her. I've talked to her about this before, but her parents "don't believe in" mental illness. They won't let her do therapy/take meds so she hasn't had much support in the past, and therefore isn't quite sure what I should do to help her. (Discussion of specific obsessions/compulsions in the next paragraph, skip if that might be triggering)
Her main obsessions/compulsions (I'm sorry if my phrasing is wrong, I'm still learning) are obsessing over "perfection" (e.i. if everything she does isn't "perfect" she's a bad person), obsessing over ethics in a somewhat similar manner, counting things and making sure they're even, and making sure things are symmetrical (chewing her food the same number of times on each side of her mouth, touching things the same number of times with both hands, etc).
My main questions are, if I see her preforming a compulsion, should I stop her? How can I best help her handle the "spiral" of her intrusive thoughts/fears of being an "evil person"? Is there anything I absolutely never should say/do in reference to her OCD? Also, what are some good articles/books/movies etc I can watch to help understand OCD and how it effects people better?
Thank you for reading this far, and in advance for any help offered!!
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OCD
|
This is maybe a strange not making any sence story. But I really need to get this a bit somewhere beside my head.
I’m not native english so sorry for any bad grammer or sentence.
I really feel like I’m making everything up. I am torturing myself. I’m doing it all myself and there is no problem if I just act normal.
I have a trauma, wel more then one. But this is a about one.
I don’t know what I can share here or how to give a trigger warning. So for now I will not tell what happend. Partly because writing it down will not help me now (my head is a mess right now).
The ‘problem’ is I have no image on what happend. It’s all from sounds mostly. Sirines, things that have been said, other sounds that where there and more.
I have some ‘images’ ofcourse but that is from inside the room where I was when the things happend in room next to me.
During EMDR (more then year ago) we created some images. (Like going to the room next to me) That images keep popping up in my head. Mostly triggerd by sounds (sirines, people screaming erc).
But it feels a lot like I’m now keep adding images by all the sounds.
Back then when it happend (3,5 years ago) i wrote down a little bit what happend. I also wrote down 3 names involved in the story. One I never forget (Involved in other trauma) the other two I keep forgetting.
Last night I decided I need to know atleast one of the two names I keep forgetting.
I look for the story I wrote. Found the name and readed a bit more. (One/two lines)
At that moment my mind went crazy. A whole “movie” started in my head about what happend. And a saw images on what happend but I never have seen.
I know it was very stuppid to go read what I wrote down. But my head is stuck in that place everyday because it get triggerd easy (sirines trigger and a ER is close by so sirines all day) and getting EMDR again on this subject. So thats the reason I looked for the name.
And before I readed it I allready created a lot off images. Even outside the EMDR but in the last years.
Long story short:
I’m creating images more and more from a traumatic event. It is impossible that I have seen any of those images because I was in a other room at that moment.
Is it normal that my brain is doing this? Do more people have this?
I’m also talking about this with the therapist. But it’s good to hear from people with same experience
|
ptsd
|
I have this awful annoying thought in my head that tells me that I *need* to make my family at home watch a specific video or else something bad will happen if I don't and I'm terrified. Any advice would help thank you.
|
OCD
|
I feel like I mostly hear about the stereotypical ways we struggle with executive dysfunction (such as time blindness, trouble planning, etc.) that I wanted to hear your unique experiences with this symptom, here I’ll start:
-When I make meals I can’t really plan what I’m getting from the fridge each time I open it, so I usually end up opening the fridge 50 times and pulling out 0 or one whole item I need
-saying “wait what” when I clearly heard you but my working memory went brrrr
-not being able to start taking notes for school, building diagrams, or starting a visual project because you don’t really know how to organize the pieces, so then you just jump in and it ends up looking like shit because you couldn’t plan
-making food or following instructions just to find out you’ve missed at least 5 steps
I know not all of these may be considered executive dysfunction, but I wanted to see how this symptoms effects us beyond the stereotypical ones we think about
|
ADHD
|
I can’t stop the intrusive r*cist thoughts no matter how hard I try and I always have to apologize for them every second they come up because I can’t decipher if it’s me or not, even though I strongly know it’s not I still can’t bear the thought of those words popping up in my head so I have to apologize for them. I can’t do it anymore it’s so frequent I can be watching tv and the word will come up and I’ll feel horrible and spend the next hour saying sorry for them cause I have a feeling that if I don’t god will hate me and I know that sounds so insane and I’m embarrassed saying it but I don’t know what else to do at this point. Sorry if I’m rambling or saying the same thing over and over but does anyone have any suggestions as to what I could do to help this stop?
|
OCD
|
I've sought reassurance on here about my contamination OCD here before, but that's not what I'm trying to do this time. In fact, I'm trying to face this fear more head on, but it's really hard. I've engaged in ERP before over other obsessions of mine, such as driving, which I'll use an example. I would spend time obsessing over certain routes to get places, and in order to get over it, I would drive through them regularly, and it helped. Over time, I would get accustomed to it. With my contamination OCD, it's not as easy. First, it's not just me who is dealing with this; my actions to "get over" this obsession with cleanliness, such as not cleaning things or washing my hands so often, can lead to other people potentially getting sick. Is taking that risk simply part of getting over this? How can that be done ethically? Sure, I can tell myself over and over that people probably won't get sick because of me, but that leads to my second issue I'm having: the uncertainty. If I interact with dozens or even hundreds of people everyday, I won't be able to see them all again in two weeks and see that they're fine, proving my OCD wrong. Some of those people I might never meet again in my life. What's more is that I won't know if I could be directly responsible for their illness or if it's one of the other 100 possible things that might cause it. I can never know if I'm directly responsible. That might sound comforting to some, but for me, all it does is make me constantly wonder about the possibility. Finally, I am vaccinated, which is great and I encourage others to do it, but now with the Delta variant going around, I've learned it's possible that due to my vaccination, I could carry the virus and be asymptomatic. So now I have this potentially deadly virus that I could be spreading at any moment without even knowing it to hundreds of people who I will never know if I'm getting sick? This level of uncertainty is overwhelming, especially when human lives are in the balance. I don't know how to approach this since it's unlike any of my previous obsessions. I'm not asking for reassurance as much as I just want to vent. Has anyone else dealt with this?
|
OCD
|
Hi, all. I always see posts in this thread and get encouraged, because it makes me feel a bit less lonely that I am not the only who is in the darkest chapter of my life for years now. To briefly introduce myself, I am a 21 yrs old international student living in the US for almost four years by now. It seems that many people write summary of their life or struggles on here, so I would like to do the same. It is going to be long, so please bear with me.
1. I was norn into a house full of abuse, manipulation, and neglect.
2. My parents, especially my dad is a financially successful business man, yet they are both horrible human beings.
3. I was never allowed to have or show emotions as I was my mother's barbie doll who had to obey everything she said, and had to please her in every way even if it meant I have to ignore my own emotions.
4. I Got bullied horribly throughout my school years for my feminine nature, which is an unacceptable trait for a man to have in the conservative country I was unlucky enough to born into.
5. My elder sister, who was bullied at school and going through her own phase at the time, she would abused me after she came home every night. My parents did not do anything to stop her or even tried to defend me.
6. As a only male besides my dad in the house, by the time I became 8 yrs old, I became his main target of abuse. He considered me a threat and would provoke or intentionally make situations where we would fight and he got out so much pleasures of physically beating me and winning against me.
7. Around the age of 9, my dad's abuse began to worsening day by day. He would break down my room's door in the middle of the night, then try to slash my throat with a kitchen knife or scissor, and many times with razor blades. His psychotic behavior became so frequent. My mom did not do anything to protect me. Instead, she used me as a shield to nlock her husband's temper. She would disappear for days, then suddenly come back, and telling me to behave if I don't want her to kill herself.
8. The bullying at school became so severe to a point I began to develop mental illnesses, which I was heavily mocked for by my own parents, and other adults around me.
9. My first suicide attempt at age 9, I tried to jump out of my room's window. (We lived on 15th floor.)
10. My mother's constant berating regarding my grades and my lack of masculinity was becoming worse and worse. She would punish me with a wooden cane and smack my head, chicks, arms, and thighs if I acted feminine or I was not doing great on my exans.
11. I was beaten up by my parents for crying and telling them I was hurt. They call me weak, pathetic, a mistake, and a brat fir telling them I was hurt. I began to hide bruises other boys marked on my body in fear of my parents making the situation worse for me.
12. After school, my classmates would invite their older siblings to beat me up in the school playground. Adults nearby did nothing, nor did my teachers or parents.
13. By the time I was in 3rd grade, the teachers started to bully me for my low grade and poor academic performance. They could slap me and beat me with canes. (Teachers beating students is allowed in my home country)
14. Around 6th grade, my music teacher called me disgusting in front of the whole class and called me a faggot and tranny (in my native language ofc) She threatened to kill me if I keep acted that way and told the other students to report to her if I acted lile a fag.
15. After that event, my bullying got worse and I was bullied by the entire school. Boys from other classes would stop at my class just to see me and they would drag me to the corners to beat me.
16. The boys tried to sexually harass me in the school restroom. They tried to strip me and would not let go off me unless I would reveal my penis to them. Proving that I was not a trans.
17. All those events clashing together, I tried to kill myself for the second time at the age of 11.
18. I was abused at school, abused at the education institutions and martial Arts schools, and at home by my parents and older sister. Everywhere I went, I was mistreated and abused.
19. I tried to kill myself by swallowing all the cabinet pills around the age of 11. It did not work. My parents did not notice. I had to act like nothing happened once again.
20. I tried to jump off the bridge around the age of 11, I was caught by a security guard near by and he beat me while telling me that I was a brat and a trash.
21. During my middle school years, my depression got so severe to a point where I would collapse and not being able to see anything for 10 secs multiple times a day.
22. My parents laughed and mocked my depression. They would downplay my symptoms as I am being overly dramatic and I was not being a good son or student.
23. The unstable envitonments I had to deal with began to destroy me. So, by the time I wasin the middle school, I was a complete mess. One day, I decided that I should kill myself so I can escape this hell fire. My parents agreed to drop me out of the school, but it was not a good news at the time, as it meant my life was over. I was born into a country where academics are everything, so dropping out meant I was already a failure in life by the age of 13.
24. After dropping out of the school, I traveled to US when I was 13 with my mom. A life changing experience, for the firs time in my life, a stranger was smiling at me, he was kind to me. At that moment, I knew America was the country I will have my future.
25. I began to study English 8 hrs a day to get better at English, and by the time I was 14, I traveled to Canada all by myself. (Canada allows the travelers to live in the nation for 6 months under Travel visa.)
26. While living there, I was faced with horrible racism, xenophobia at Canada. I was abused by a host family, which is a student housing system where international students live in one of their rooms in the house. And the school did nothing to put a stop to the abuse I was receiving, and they even blamed me. I was harassed on the street so many times that I lost counts, and many white men would come up and hit me or mock me. I was left abused, mocked, and defenseless.
26. From age 15 to 16, I tried my best to be perfect at the English language, and preparing myself to go to colleges in the US while preparing for Visa exam, which is notoriously difficult. The government did not like the idea of a minor going to a foreign land all alone without any legal guardian, but somehow my visa was approved. So as soon as I turned 17, I came to the country I have been dreaming of coming for so long with so much hopes and dreams.
27. I went through so much abuses such as homophobia, racism, xenophobia here. I tried to kill myself 7 times, and I have been manipulated by a man, who promised me to be my husband and will free me from my abusive country and family. He sexually abused me, then abandoned me. I tried to kill myself after that once again.
28. I was majoring in film, but my weakening health got in my way, so I had to change to music. I have never sung in my life, but those who taught me told me that my voice type is unusual and rare, so I have been working to exhaustion to be good at singing, and once again, all on my own, I auditioned for one of the top music schools in the country while battling with a rough tonsils, I was admitted earlier this year.
I have been abused, mainipulated, and humiliated for my whole life, by my parents, the society, government, and the culture that I was born into.
I have been battling for my whole life to prove so many who done me wrong to show them that I am a person who has a power and great wills to turn my life over. And yet, after all these horrible abuses and tragedies I have been enduring, it seems that the pain will never stop. Everytime I try my best to have my hopes up and get up and fight with the world and my fate again, life comes down to crush and break me into pieces.
I am ran out of all of my strengths and will power which allowed me to push myself through countless traumatic events, yet I am still alone, an abandoned one.
No matter I hard I have been trying, I am still just an outsider, whose life is depended by the expiration date on my visa. And I am still a lonely loser, who falls for anyone who show me any hints of kindness, and allowing them to abuse my weakened body.
I have been sensing that this year is the very last time I will have the strengths to withstand, and endure all the abuses and still be able to push myself and do what I am supposed to do to maintain my visa status. But as the end of the year is approaching fast, I am feeling that I am about to fall.
I am on the very last stage of my life, for this Christmas, I pray that I will be able to successfully kill myself to free my poor soul from enduring another tragedy and humiliation.
If there is a god up there, I am begging you, please take me away. Please help me end all of my miseries and suffering. Even after all the manipulations I have been dealing with, I always knew that I never deserved any of the abuses I received, and I deserved much better. Please take me away, you do not have to invite me to your land, as I have no one to greet me there. Just perish me, and erase all my trace from this life so no one can haunt me even after my death.
|
depression
|
Hi all,
I (24F) started my OCD journey a year ago when I was diagnosed. My parents gaslighted me pretty hard growing up and I was never treated with therapy or medication when I clearly should have. It's been a year since I started treating myself and it's been a wild ride up until about now. Luckily I found a medication that works with the help of new insurance!
To get to my point - I have found the best distractions for me are games with little goals embedded throughout. I love the beginning of animal crossing where there are clear cut tasks to do for Tom Nook. It makes me feel really good doing them and it's a lovely distraction for me. I was wondering if anyone has any games or hobbies like this? Board games, switch games, computer games, anything!
|
OCD
|
Ok, I don't really miss them, obviously. But what I do miss is the little breaks in a show that let me get up and walk around, grab a drink, do something I just remembered, etc. I can always pause stuff now, but 1) that risks me forgetting I was watching tv and just going off to do something else, 2) it's cool when I'm watching with my fellow adhd having partner, not so cool when I'm watching with neurotypical people who tend to hate it when you go "oh snap, I just remembered I gotta do x can we pause this a minute?" Anyone else? This also might be just a thing us older adhd'ers experience since idk if "the kids" ever experienced live TV with commercials lol.
|
ADHD
|
I don’t like change. This is mostly because my brain analyzes things in deep detail, but doesn’t have the refresh rate of change in reality. So I like to put things on pause and just gander and take in all the details. Change is inevitable but I have a hard time processing it all.
People change. And that change is subtle.
I have/had a friend (who may or may not have covid, he hasn’t told me yet), and he used to be this jaded but optimistic person who was like my guide to New York.
Then he moved in with his new girlfriend a few years ago, and his personality has soured over the years. Now it literally makes me feel angry and sad whenever I hang out with him. Not like it used to. He spends most of the time yelling about things he’s angry about, and it’s really hard to take in.
So now I hardly ever see him. It’s heartbreaking because he still texts me and asks to hang out, but for numerous reasons (he’s not a happy masker, he doesn’t take care of the covid threat) I just try to stay away. Mostly because to even get to him, I have to cross several truck heavy streets (and that gives me an elevated rise in blood pressure), and then hanging out with him is stressful, whereas before it was joyful.
Am I wrong in spending less time with him? Also I feel like we’ve been growing apart (that meaning, he’s gotten older and I have stayed the same). The age difference is just greater now than it was when we met.
Deep down I just want my old friend back (pre-covid days), but I fear he's changed for the worse is gonna be permanent. It hasn't been good for a few years.
|
aspergers
|
I am switching from 50 mg zoloft to 50mg luvox. I just immediately took luvox instead of zoloft last night instead of tapering off. my prescriber said that it was fine. what should I expect? Any bad side effects or withdrawal symptoms? Is it unsafe? Does anyone have the same experience?
|
OCD
|
So as most people, I am usually super super tired when I get woken up by my alarm. Especially during Winter, when I have to wake up while it’s still pitch black outside. I‘ve been using an app that tracks my sleep and wakes me up in my light sleep phases, which helps, but it’s still not perfect. I just want to turn and sleep for 30 more minutes, but that doesn‘t change anything, really.
No matter how tired I am, half an hour after taking my meds, I‘m awake. Doesn‘t matter how tired or destroyed I am, Elvanse (Vyvanse) literally saves my day.
So I‘ve started to combine these two into my first morning routine. I set my alarm 30 minutes before I actually need to get up, as soon as it sounds I’ll just take the meds, set a timer for 30 minutes and drift back to sleep. Second alarm sounds, I wake up feeling perfectly fit.
I don‘t want to say that this changed my life (because that shit sounds pretentious), but my mornings have been so much better.
Give it a try and tell me how it works for you, maybe I‘m just weird :D
|
ADHD
|
So i'm finally on the pathway and can log into the portal on Psych UK and complete my forms.
When it comes to childhood recollections, I'm struggling to bring anything specific to mind. My mum has finally found a few reports from primary (elementary) school but there's nothing 'supportive' of an ADHD diagnosis.
I only remember broad things from my high school days, namely that I enjoyed myself, was a bit of a weirdo but had friends, showed off, did impressions of teachers and got a reputation as class clown. But I always did my work, never had any serious disciplinary action against me and got average grades....
I can obviously offer plenty of adult examples that support my suspicions that I am living with ADHD but my question is ***will not having as many childhood examples derail the diagnosis process?***
**I am absolutely prepared to be proven wrong; i'm not looking to try and force a diagnosis. If it turns out I have ADHD traits due other reasons, or that i'm just anxious and depressed and they aren't ADHD co-morbidities then so be it. I will deal with that if I need to.**
|
ADHD
|
Hey all, I came across [this playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/gert.broodberg?si=dc76062a03aa4b57) on Spotify while doing a few things. This person has put a lot of work into these various ADHD focus playlists and making it look nice and labeled well and curated well. give them a shot and see if any work for you or just give them a little love for the effort. Have a good day y'all.
Edit: specified these are ADHD specific.
|
ADHD
|
I’m starting on fluoxetine (Prozac) soon. I’ve tried some other meds before and nothing seemed to work but im going to lose my mind if this shit doesn’t stop. Has anyone had good experienced with Prozac? I know it’s different for everyone I’m just curious and looking for hope.
|
OCD
|
Had a few beverages with an old dear co worker and his friends and now 6 hours later I can’t stop thinking about over sharing or things I shouldn’t have shared and how I talk to much. Any tips others have when you feel this dread? 😞
|
OCD
|
hello everyone and thanks in advance for giving this attention. i am a 18 years old guy and some days ago i had my first (and i’m pretty sure last) alcohol poisoning experience. i don’t drink too often and therefore my alcoholic tolerance is pretty low but that day i exaggerated and now i’m afraid i did some irreversible damage. i quite certainly suffer from pure o or “obsessive compulsive disorder more focused on obsessions than compulsions” and since the day after that night i had these thoughts about having damaged my brain. the alcohol poisoning nearly left me unconscious, i was able to hear but not to speak or move, i was physically absent. the weird thing is that i remember it all from that night and the hangover haven’t been really tough tbh. the issue is that i’m really worried i somehow fucked up my cognitive skills and just the thought of that is making me depressed asf. i’m sorry if this may seem irrational to some of y’all but i need some clarifications. thanks in advance, i hope you’re doing great.
|
OCD
|
I forget so many things, even things that are important that I'm supposed to remember and do, in some cases even after I get reminded of it... I'm like broken machine
|
depression
|
Hello everyone,
I would consider myself to be somewhat of a newbie to the aspie world. I was diagnosed when I was 18 (1-1.5 years ago). I still have a lot to learn about it, and one of the things I struggle with is relationships, and approaching girls. I am in college, so I have plenty of opportunities but I never take them. Right now I am fine with it (being single (mostly because I deleted dating apps)), but I would like some advice. I don't really know what I am asking for, just general stuff maybe.
1. How would I approach women without making myself seem "out-there" or weird because I talk much? (sometimes) Typing this seems like it is a stupid question.
2. For those of you who are in relationships with aspies, or aspies who are in relationships, when would be a good time to disclose it? I know I should disclose it at some point (which I will), but I don't know an appropriate time.
3. Similar to question two (the demographic), what have you found that worked really well for relationships and aspies? What are the good and the bad? What worked well? What could be worked on? I know there are a lot of variables, but I am a big believer that there is a right and a wrong for everything, and I am working on that.
4. I do not like going out, at all. I would rather stay home, and I realize that it will be harder for me to meet with people. What are some strategies for me to be more comfortable with going out?
5. I also don't like physical touch that much, unless I am ok with it and I know it is happening. I feel this is pretty big for a lot of people, and they could be turned off or weirded out by it. How do I tell people (politely) that I do not like physical touch that happens out of the blue?
6. How can I see female signs of attraction? I am pretty bad at reading people as it is, even my friends and family.
|
aspergers
|
I don’t use Reddit often, but I just needed a place to vent because I’m going to fucking implode. I want to explode, I need to have any display of fucking emotion but I can’t. I haven’t been able to sleep longer than 3 hours a night for the past week. The gym doesn’t even help me any more as I can’t even leave my room without having to hold back a panic attack. It feels like my medication has given up stopped working for the past month. I don’t find any joy in video games, movies, or reading anymore. I can’t even drink or smoke myself numb properly anymore. lsd which had saved my life in the past no longer allows me to disassociate enough to have an ego death and try and better myself. I have no one to talk to because I cut off all my friends a little over a year and a half ago, and have gone 5 days without speaking to a single person. I’ve sat in my dorm (don’t have a room mate) doing fuck-all while somehow finding the time to procrastinate all my classes. And school isn’t even hard for me right now, I just don’t even have to motivation to take out the pair of contacts that I’ve worn for the past 2 days, much less write an essay on the theory of writing. I can’t hurt myself, I made a promise with myself that I intend to keep 2 years ago that I have to be alive for my siblings, at least until they get through highschool. And recently I caught myself calculating the number of days on a calculator. I just need to feel something, anything, I’ll even take feeling self hatred. But it’s just nothing, I have nothing below the surface. And I just need to find any form of outlet.
|
depression
|
I never mentioned it When I went to recruiting, and as a result of not telling, I ended up serving and being honorably discharged as a sergeant. I was wondering if anyone else ever served their country Being autistic, even if you had to hide it from your superiors.
Update*
First of all, thank you all very much for the outpouring of responses. It is surprising to me all things considering that there is a plethora of other people with autism Who raised their right hand to serve our country. I would be perfectly honest, I did not expect to see so much of this demographic representing armed forces, both in and out of the US.
Second of all, I probably should’ve phrased my question a little more concisely. For those of you who found out you were on the spectrum after you were discharged, your service will never diminish in the slightest, however I feel like the question applies to you a little bit less, given that you did not have a diagnosis which could’ve impacted your chances at serving. I Should have better Specified that point a little bit more. The reason being that, according to what I have read on DOD policy, civilians who are diagnosed with autism are automatically disqualified from serving, however they can receive a waiver signed off by a behavioral health specialist, very much the same way that overweight people can get a waiver if they show that they can make height and weight within a certain time period of the next MEPS visit. And as any of us who have served know too well, there are a lot of stories about our lives which we really don’t like to tell while we are working to rebuild our lives or find a new path, especially to the military recruiters. Given that there are individuals who are capable of meeting Military standards, at times even exceeding them, with the unspoken knowledge that they are otherwise disqualified on the basis of autism, it makes me wonder if perhaps The requisite isn’t more of a social stigma, rather than an operational precaution.
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aspergers
|
Hi, this might be a little vent-y but I just want to get it out of my chest.
I really want to go to therapy and I’ve mentioned this to my mother multiple times, and she said that she will take me, but she thinks that I’m just exaggerating everything. I don’t blame her for it, since she grew up in an environment where she constantly had to be tough she thinks that having problems aren’t a big deal. But I’m also tired of my parents getting frustrated about my compulsions- If I could help it, I would gladly stop but I just cannot. There are also so many other mental health issues that I’m going through but I don’t know how to explain them either.
At this point my top priority for going to therapy isn’t even recovery, I just want to have the therapist explain my situation to my mom in a professional sense so that she will finally understand. I love her so much and I want this barrier between us to disappear because I feel so alone knowing that the person I care for the most doesn’t know about how much I’m suffering every day.
On another note, thank you everyone in this subreddit. This is the only place where I don’t feel alone. I’m really looking forward to therapy so that I will start receiving professional help and finally get to be open about the shenanigans of my mind :D
|
OCD
|
Hey all.
I read something that really ruined my emotional balance today. I won't tell you the details because, well, if you clicked on my post you have the same issue as me. The person who wrote expressed anxiety, helplessness, distress and guilt. I could relate so much, especially since what happened to them could have happened to me.
I obsess over what I've read and keep feeling what that person expressed. I keep looking for updates on their situation. I try to detach myself from it, give myself pep talks, but it does nothing, I just get even more distressed...
Have you found a way to not be invaded so much by stuff like that? I'd gladly take advice or even just comfort.
|
aspergers
|
Hello /ADHD, I am a single father of a 12 (soon to be 13) year old boy who was diagnosed with moderate ADHD 2 years ago. As part of his journey he is also medicated for this condition. Something I've observed since his diagnosis, is his difficulty with Executive Functioning. Primarily when it comes to decision making. He struggles to make very simple decisions for himself. An example would be when given two choices to eat for a meal, he can't decide. In school if he doesn't understand something or falls behind, he doesn't speak up. He simply continues on, not understanding.
As you can imagine this leads to a lot of emotional moments at home where he feels overwhelmed with catching up his school work, feeling dumb, emotional breakdowns, etc. Another complication of this is that in group social situations, he often struggles to work with the group unless they are doing what he wants.
As a result of the last two years his mother (we've been divorced nearly 9 years) who I co-parent with, typically in a very good way, no feels we need to take more drastic measures. She signed him up for an evaluation at a local Brain Balance. Now I've done my research in to this company and it's methods and I am very much against forking over $6500+ for unknown results based in pseudo-science.
However, rather than simply shoot her down I want to be constructive and come to the table with other options. I'm looking for resources that you have found successful, to help my son establish and grow his executive functioning skills. I feel like if we could get over this hurdle, there would be a huge jump in his learning and interacting socially. Thank you in advance.
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ADHD
|
Along with other psychiatric illnesses like narcissistic personality disorder, psychosis, etc
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OCD
|
So I’ve recently been diagnosed through my psychiatrist and he had me pass a drug test, cardiac work up then sent off an application to NSW health (how do other people just walk out with a script?!) my question is how long have people found this process takes? Exams next week, I’m struggling and I have been trying to sort this out over the last few months
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ADHD
|
I was literally just reading up on inner child healing today. I have ptsd from child abuse and sexual abuse. I still feel shaky and nauseous from the nightmare I just had. I saw myself being abused as a child and I felt trapped. Nothing I could do was stopping it, nothing. Adult me tried to attack the person and scream for help but it wasn't working.
I was a bit wary of doing the inner child healing technique but now I'm just terrified.
I don't talk to people about this stuff in person so I kinda go to reddit for a lot, I've gotten so much support here so wondering if anyone had experienced this. I feel pretty sick right now.
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ptsd
|
Hey I'm audrey (f22, almost tomorrow is my bday)
A few weeks ago my psychologist said I most likey have ADHD. In a few weeks I know for sure. But I started to research ADHD and it pretty much lines up with what I do and think. The world makes so much more sense. I don't want to diagnose myself but certain things just click.
Is that bad? Am I diving to deep? Is it okay if I feel more like myself now?
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ADHD
|
I'm just wondering how everyone navigates the disability questions on job applications (may only apply to US job postings). I am looking for a new position and I don't remember this being a thing years ago.
|
aspergers
|
I'm so happy! I'm in an environment where I can talk freely about my passion for PlayStation and other SONY products that have helped me escape from life and give me life some meaning.
|
aspergers
|
Feeling a little more sad and depressed today. A lotta more. I have a beautiful human of boyfriend and I get to move in with him soon and I have enough money to live ok and I’ve got one or two really good friends. I have severe ocd, no close family, heavy emotional irregularity, and an exhausting job. The latter are really getting me down today. I’m just feeling extra sad today. I want to be positive but I also want my feelings to be taken care of, and I don’t feel fit for the job of it right now. Is there anyone who can say anything encouraging? I’d really appreciate it. Thank you.
|
OCD
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Does anyone else see things move/morph/warp/breath when they stare at them. Usually on more patterned surfaces like pavement or carpets or even tiles?
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OCD
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Some days it's my biggest horror, other days a consolation.
Yet another sleepless night brought on by the neverending intrusive thoughts and I just don't know what to do any more.
I'm 39, I've tried every medication and meditation there is but either it doesn't help or the side effects are just as bad as not getting any sleep in the first place.
Hoping to find some understanding in here as everyone in my life thinks OCD is purely my obsession with cleanliness and that it's "funny".
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OCD
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I feel like it’s very easy for people to hate me. I feel contempt from the vast majority of people in my life from family to friends to coworkers. When I meet new people, there is usually a phase where they genuinely like me, but without fail, given enough time, they all end up hating me. I really don’t have proof that everyone hates me but who has proof of such a thing. No matter where I try to get a job or meet people- it always ends up the same. With me feeling hated.
Anyone else experience this?
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ptsd
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Long story short, I finally got tested in adulthood.
Adderall works wonders for me. Mostly. But after a week or two in, I am in shambles and need help from you good folk.
I don't want my doc to pull if I tell him my symptoms. It was hard enough being prescribed.
First of all, I'm a guy that generally doesn't eat more than one big meal in the evening a day. This new medication is killing me. Cannot stay out of the bathroom. I get nauseas and feel absolutely sick as the day goes on. I feel almost malnourished. I reminds me of the feeling of being extremely dehydrated. I am trying so hard to take fluids in, but if feels like it makes my stomach more upset. I'm generally someone who already drinks so much water a day - so I'm confused.
I've read this can be an issue first couple weeks. But my body is just so sore. I feel so bad this am. No energy. Miserable. And I don't want to take the Adderall until I go into work a bit later.
Tldr: new prescription, week 2, diarrhea constant whenever I eat or drink, dead tired, sore body, feel generally dehydrated.
What do you guys do to avoid these terrible side effects if you've had them? Is it something as simple as eating prior to taking Adderall? I really have no idea.
Thanks in advance
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ADHD
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Do people who actually do horrible things react with disgust when hearing about things they’ve done on the news, like murder?
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OCD
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I marked this NSFW because idk policies about drug use here. So I'm a sophomore in college and have experimented a little bit with alcohol and marijuana (after growing up in a culture where no one drank or smoked at all... didn't even know people who did either). I have an insanely low tolerance. I drink maybe once every two or three weeks and smoke even less frequently. My boyfriend is a mild stoner and will smoke with his friends once a week or so, but it's not normally something we do together. Last night he invited me to come along and hang out with the guys. I took only two hits from the bong but the second one was really big. I'd never used one before and don't know how to use it, and I ended up coughing so hard I almost puked.
Within three minutes, I was the highest I've ever been in my life. I felt like I was asleep and trapped in a dream, which is a familiar and terrifying feeling to me. Since I've developed PTSD, I've had recurring instances of sleep paralysis which leave me really shaken up. I ran out into the hallway and started having a panic attack. My heart was racing and I felt paralyzed and helpless and started shaking really violently, hyperventilating, and crying profusely. I was completely convinced I was asleep at my seat in the room and was astral projecting or something and not able to wake up. My boyfriend, bless him, chased after me and spent nearly 30 minutes calming me down and telling me that I'm safe and that this was real life. I must have asked him hundreds of times if I was asleep. I'm so grateful he's so patient. Once I was calm enough, he took me back to his dorm room, and we watched a bit of TV and went to sleep. He didn't let me go home, which was a good call. I didn't fully believe him that I wasn't dreaming until I woke up this morning.
I realize that I was probably just way too high, uncomfortably so, but has anyone else noticed that they react to weed differently because of their PTSD? I've heard that weed can be relaxing for some people, but it seems to have the opposite effect on me. Even when I've been very mildly high I've noticed I get quite a bit more anxious and paranoid. I don't think I'll be smoking again. It's not something I was super into in the first place and it seems like it doesn't sit well with me. I'll gladly pass next time.
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ptsd
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I feel afraid or nervous when I think of something certain to say or think of a certain person’s name. I feel like if I speak of that certain thing or that person’s name, something bad will happen or I’ll get “cursed”.
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OCD
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I am 26F and currently more or less self diagnosed. I am working with a therapist who suggested that I look more into ASD as it seems to her that this is actually what I am dealing with. And tbh the more I read, the more "a-ha moments" I have. It just clicks. It explains a whole lot of stuff. Anyway, I was looking into the possibility of receiving a formal diagnosis and to my surprise, I discovered that where I live, only children receive an autism diagnosis and when they turn 18 it changes to schizophrenia or learning disability/mental retard. And there are not really any programmes for adults. I feel like it is pointless to even try to get a diagnosis. Would it be worth trying, though? I don't believe that a label would change the way that I am and I don't really see the benefits of a diagnosis because all I hear around from family, friends, relatives, etc is that their view on autism is that it is r-slur. Or that ADHD is just for attention and bad behaviour and it could have been fixed with the "appopriate punishment" (meaning beating) when the child was little. And I don't know where I sit with just being self diagnosed like this. I feel like an imposter and like a wannabe something and like it is not my place to be part of this community.
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aspergers
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It’s like what I identify with is always moving. Some days I think ‘my autism affects me a lot, my ability and experience is completely different to others and my life needs to be lived differently because of that’. I usually think this when I feel burnout, or that I couldn’t do something nearly as well as most people can.
Other days I think ‘I am only borderline autistic, I’m pretty much like everyone else and can lead a life similar to everyone else’. I hear things like ‘no one would ever guess you are autistic’, and I think maybe I’m just perceiving that everyone right away thinks I am disabled and they aren’t actually thinking that. I know my mind tends to be very biased towards the negative perception. I even get paranoia at times (very infrequently) that I am very low functioning and people lie to me to make me feel better and my whole reality around my ability is fabricated (This doesn’t take long to disprove tho lol). So I know my perception is sometimes warped towards seeing myself as more disabled than I am in reality.
Most days I’m somewhere in between these two mindsets.
I struggle to tell if I only perceive myself as fairly disabled or if I am actually in reality fairly disabled. I now know it’s not all ‘in my head’, as I have diagnosed ASD and ADHD, but I still don’t know how much that affects me compared to others. Maybe trying to put a general judgement in terms of ability on myself isn’t that easy or useful, but I want to know my identity and how others identify me. Thanks for reading!
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aspergers
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I basically know how to be a 1000% better me : my brain is perfectly aware that I should stop smoking, that I should exercise, etc. etc. but I still won't listen to it.
So has anyone successfuly found a way to just act according to what your brain thinks is the best thing to do ? Is there some sort of magical switch you have to turn on ?
This is kind of a "meta" post, it goes beyond fixing addictions (for smoking) or lazyness (exercising) etc.
I liked the movie "Yes Man" with Jim Carrey, even if I don't remember how it ends, so what would happen if I similarly also said Yes to everything that my brain suggests me ?
I also find weird that what I wrote above make it seems like I sort of consider myself and my brain as two distinct entities...
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aspergers
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Hi, I was diagnosed last week with OCD, with a focus on real event and harm. I agree 100% with the diagnosis and am relieved to have a framework for what I've been experiencing for the past 20+ years, and to have a more full understanding of myself.
That said, it also took me by surprise, and re-contextualizes a lot of things that I had worked and settled on in therapy. As you can imagine, when you tell someone who over-analyzes past events to the point of disability that they over-analyze past events to the point of disability, it makes them want to then go and over-analyze past events, likely to the point of disability.
I want to properly process this new information and how it's affected my life (because boy, does it run deep!), but I am getting caught in a loop of wondering if I'm being compulsive about it, realizing that speculation is itself compulsive, and so on so forth until my brain is a snake eating itself. I know it is typical for OCD to become recursive, but I do not have the tools yet to combat it effectively in the interim of finding treatment. I would like to remain excited about my future as opposed to falling into regret and mourning.
For those of you who have more pure-o symptoms, how do you separate what is normal thinking/emotional processing, and what is compulsive rumination? What grounding techniques have worked for you? How do you walk the line knowing a desire has a rational basis, but can become irrational in nature?
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OCD
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At the start of this year i quit my job due to mental health reasons (i was about to unalive myself due to my undiagnosed ADHD) and after getting put on medication my entire life is changed, doing things like studying, reading, learning instruments has become 1000% easier, but i haven't had a job since before i was treated so i'm wondering if working is easier too because i had SO many issues with my past jobs and almost got fired on a regular basis because of my trouble focusing.
So yeah, have you seen a difference between working on vs. off your stimulants?
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ADHD
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Does anyone else experience intense brain fog as a result of their OCD and other mental illnesses? I can’t think straight and everything’s scary. I have good days but overall it feels like it keeps getting worse. I do grounding exercises every morning and it only helps a little, does anyone have something that works for them?
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OCD
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So I found out several years ago that I have Aspergers.. I don't have a job, can't drive very well, and feel like I'm just spinning my wheels and never getting out of this rut.. I was just wondering if anyone else has the same problem.. Sometimes I feel like a waste of space and it sucks..
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aspergers
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Hey guys.
I have autism, high functioning Asperger's variety
I would really consider applying for a job at McDonald's
I worked there for 3 years
The job is set up in precisely the way that works for an autism or ADHD brain
Everything is located physically out in the open. The sauces, the ingredients, the people, the cash register, everything.
You can "see" everything with your eyes
The job is quite fast-paced, which suits our "workaholic" mentality.
I'm very sure that many autistic people meet many of the symptoms of OCPD, which basically means "workaholic" condition
The job requires little to no language skills at all. Mostly because it's all a physical visual sensory job.
But also note, restaurants are largely staffed by migrants. As in, they don't speak good English, meaning, you can easily work the shift without having to talk to anyone.
The job interview itself lacks any of the utter bullshit nonsense of professional jobs. No lying and exaggerated answers. No fakery needed. Did I mention, many successful job interviews will involve little if no English?
In some parts of Florida, they are PAYING people to show up for McDonald's interviews. This is the precise opposite of how professional jobs work, where it's ultra competitive, workplace is full of dirty tricks, social tricks etc
The job can be learned fully at home, before showing up for your first shift. You can literally go on YouTube, watch videos of people working there. You can visit the website, and the ingredients of the burgers etc are all listed clearly.
No need to worry about not understanding neurotypicals and the utterly convoluted way that they often provide instructions.
Hell, many neurotypicals or narcissists don't just fail to provide instructions for jobs. They go even further, and outright lie and trick you, to get you fired from the job.
It is very difficult if not impossible to trick someone at McDonald's, because the entire job can be learned at home. There is no hidden knowledge. The full "instructions manual" is available online. It is called "e-learning"
Minimum wages are rising in Western countries. UK is up to £9.50 an hour now. Parts of the US are now $15 an hour.
People with autism often like to do the same thing again and again forever. The term I often see is, "restricted repetitive behaviour"
The job itself is ultra repetitive. But the job will also likely be around forever. I am highly skeptical that the job will be automated by robots. Robots have been clever enough to automate this for decades. It has nothing to do with technological progress needed. Something else is holding back automation. Perhaps floor space restraints. Perhaps the fear that one "glitch" will permanently lose the store its customers. Perhaps social rebellion or revolution if millions are made unemployed. Most people won't be happy to collect welfare or Universal Basic Income or bullshit like that. McDonald's may well just be stuck in a hostage situation where people just will block them with their automation bullshit. Social violence etc. You can't just jail everyone. There is nothing "true" about money at all. If enough people say "no" to automation, McDonald's will cave in. Again, the fact that it's 2021 and no automation of McDonald's, tells me that they are probably too scared to do it.
Ok, cleaning. McDonald's manager will try to trick you into signing up for a cleaning shift. It's not an honest job at all. It's the kind of thing where you clean it perfectly well, and some dickhead manager still says you didn't clean it. Then they harass you into cleaning every last missed spot. Don't get tricked into the overnight or evening cleaning shift. The morning cleaning shift works better.
Hours. These restaurants have long hours, and are often open 24 hours. If anything you will get more hours rather than less. If you are getting tired, be assertive and tell them to give you less hours. The store, remember, is far more desperate to hire you. Hence, they are paying some people now, to show up for interviews.
The job involves exercise. Music is constantly playing in the background. It gives you some social interaction, because you are surrounded by people, whereas we are often ignored or rejected in school or other workplaces or social clubs. These people are forced to be around you. You get to overhear their conversations.
I learned quite a lot about how women socialise and think, just by working a job at McDonald's. The job is often female dominated. They work this job due to the early and late hours allowing them to pick up their children from school etc. It's a good place to learn socialising.
I personally had little to no interaction with females when I was at school. All of my friends were male. And we basically just played video games or sports and didn't really do "proper" socialising.
I found that McDonald's is almost like going back to school, in a weird way. And this time, you are hanging around the girls. Even the men at McDonald's, and they are often more sporty or athletic types, due to the physical nature of the job. So in that regard, it's almost like if you went back to school, and the "cool kids" were forced to hang around you.
I really do feel like I learned a lot socially here. I worked the job in my late 20s. But often the workers were 16, 17, 18 year olds who were still finishing up high school. I was personally rejected almost entirely socially, by the time I got to that age at my high school. So it's almost like re-doing school and this time you get included.
In mental health therapy, there is a concept called "exposure Therapy". I think something happens along these lines while working at a McDonald's. It's like being included by all the kids who would have otherwise excluded you at school. Really weird.
Other than that, the job gets you exercise. You cannot eat while working the shift. Only while on your break, which lasts 30 to 45 mins. This forces you to basically "get in shape" and even lose weight. I lost weight while working the job. If you ate something like vegan or keto fasting, while working the job, rather than eating the actual McDonald's food, I'm sure you would lose even more weight.
The job involves timers on every screen. This forces you to do the job quickly, and makes it somewhat like a job, that is converted into "video game format". This is what Russell Barkley says helps for ADHD. To convert the job into a video game, with ticking down timers, rewards, consequences, points etc.
The job pays you by the minute that you are clocked in. Hence, it is a highly "honest" job, in that regard. You are paid for precisely the work that you do. I personally find it very hard to understand typical professional office jobs, where apparently most neurotypicals are barely doing 3 hours of productive work per day, and spend the rest of the time enforcing social rules and structures.
The job involves being highly tuned-in to your sensory environment. You have to listen out for colleagues, customers, cooking machines bleeping with sounds.
Some workers I observed, were seemingly deliberately pretending not to hear instructions from managers or even customers. This is clever because remember, this how school bullying or "spam email" works. They can keep sending you "spam instructions" or "spam problems", and if you keep listening out for every little "spam request" from them, you are now looking like a gullible "slave" who will respond to everything anyone says to you. Thus they deliberately bully you by wasting your time with constant new invented fake crises.
I personally did not train up to be promoted to manager. The reason, is because with autism, I am better at the repetitive aspect of the job, being like an ultra athlete and just responding ultra-quickly to the instructions on-screen or listening out for this and that going wrong. I also wouldn't bother with manager because it usually only pays like £1 or $1 extra per hour.
I also wouldn't bother with manager, because there are some real narcissistic psychopaths working at McDonald's
"Chef" is listed on psychiatry websites as a "top 10 jobs that psychopaths work"
The reason why, is that psychopaths suffer from much the same "object permanence" problems as "autism" and "ADHD". They enter the restaurant and seemingly forget that an outside world even exists. They then turn on the colleagues like it's a boxing cage match, or a prison. You are "walled in" with them, and thus, it's "us versus them" rather than an "expanding pie" concept. It's a bit like if the McDonald's store was a video game, and the walls of this store are the outer walls in a video game level map. There is literally nothing outside of this "video game map". These are the "outer edges"
I once saw a manager who was so psychopathic, that he was asking people if they wanted to be manager, just to "smack them around", "make life hard for them", and thus, they quit the job entirely. Not even quit just as manager and demoted back to regular worker. But literally quit the job altogether.
I know this sounds funny, but there really are some psychopaths working for McDonald's. Very strange and very funny phenomenon.
Other than that, just give it a try!
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aspergers
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TW: Child sexual abuse
I'm struggling to see how I can ever really be happy again now that I know I was molested/raped as a baby and little girl? #unrepressed memory
I suspected I was abused for many years, the signs were all there and there were plenty of pedophiles in my family with two that paid extra attention to me, dad and my cousin who was 13 years older than me. I thought the attention and affection they gave me was because they loved me but really were grooming me to fulfil their desires and sexual needs. They made me feel special and beautiful so I kept seeking their validation long after they discarded and devalued me. A repressed memory was shown to me at an spiritual experience. I was molested and raped when I was young enough to be in a crip frequently by my cousin, brother, doctor and probably my mom. My mom got joy out of seeing me in pain and encouraged my sexualization all the way until I was an adult and went no contact. She didn't protect me, of course not.. her sociopathic sadistic desires wouldn't be met. I also was shown my psychopathic brother (one year older) also molested me. How scary was life for my little self that was so powerfuless and had no one to protect myself. So the way I learned to receive any attention and "love" was to sexualize myself. I was hypersexual but also dissociating as a toddler. I think the predators especially saw me as an easy target because they thought i was slow due to dissociation and couldn't do anything.
Everything is making sense.. it makes sense that I am in my late 20's and fear sex, have a history of being attracted to predators and sexually aroused by violating sex (trauma reenactment), have chronic yeast and digestive issues since a child, dissociation, feared men, protective of my little sister, experienced flashbacks and discomfort around children, why I was so hypersexual, and why I feel vaginal pain (flashbacks??) randomly.
I've lived most of my life in denial and not knowing the full extent of what happened to me. I was able to get my education and fulfil some major goals but something was always broken and off. People frequently told me I was weird and crazy. Now things are making sense.
I feel so broken now that I have a strong glimpse of my horrible childhood. I don't know how I can ever feel real joy and happiness now that I know what happened to me as a little baby and girl. Of course I wish it never happened but I wish I was older. I was too little, too innocent.. how could anyone do this?
Any support and validation would be appreciated, thank you
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ptsd
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It's been 6 years after my traumatic experience, I still find it very difficult when people are around me, near me, and hugs are very often a hard no. I ask my spouse to let me know when they're behind me. They've been great at doing that for me for a the past few years, but last night and this morning have been different. They snuck up on me and grabbed me, it was all in a playful manner but put me in alot of panic and made me defensive. I almost elbow checked him but managed to just tell them stop. Same thing this morning, when I was putting things in the dryer, and I told them "I need you to stop doing that, stop sneaking up on me" They took offense to that. I tried to explain that I know it was meant to be cute but I need the heads up. I want those hugs, I want to be close. But I don't want to be put in any situation like that. They've been cold to me since then, I feel guilty for having asked.
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ptsd
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I struggled with addiction to opioids at a young age and about a year ago i had a terrible addiction to vyvanse. I would take 3x the dosage for my body weight every single day. After a few months of this, i started to get bad anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and i could no longer smoke weed which used to be something i really enjoyed. I also had a bad acid trip about two years ago. It makes me wonder if one of those could’ve effected my brain in some way? I’m 18 right now, so i know my brain isn’t fully developed yet and knowing that i put my brain through so much trauma with those addictions scares me. Sorry, this was just kinda a rant, but i’m wondering if anyone else thinks something similar or knows any information about this?
Also, has drug abuse and/or OCD changed the way you felt when smoking weed? i miss smoking a lot and i wish i could go back to being able to just relax and smoke a bit.
feel free to PM me if you wanna have a chat about it or let me know your thoughts on this.
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OCD
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Yesterday I started depakote for ptsd and ended up being immersed in the worst traumatic flashbacks and an accompanying feeling of being on the verge of a psychotic break.
I have been terrified and filled with the creepiest feeling imaginable, like I'm about to turn into the girl on the exorcist. I couldn't go into the kitchen to fix food because I was scared of holding a knife... I've been crying hysterically and had multiple panic attacks, hypothermia, flat affect, and intense suicidal thinking.
I'm settled down now, but that was horrible. I will never touch depakote again.
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ptsd
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I don't remember anything. I keep telling myself nothing ever happened and that I'm lying so I can keep acting like a victim, or that I'm overreacting. I know this is common in people with PTSD, but what can I do to stop it or at least make it easier?
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ptsd
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My GF has PTSD and a few other mental illnesses.
For some reason both of us didn't really talk about her triggers and now I think she is (kind of) scared of me 😥
We moved together in a one room apartment 6 months ago out of necessity, because otherwise she would have had no place to go.
My life is really stressful lately and I got mad a couple of times, but not at her.
That triggered her (multiple times) without me noticing or her talking about it... For weeks.
Sorry if my language about this is wrong, I just started educating myself more about this, but I really don't know what to do now.
We are together most of the time and I can really feel how scared she is of me because that happened.
Any advice?
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ptsd
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I usually really, really struggle to write because I have really strong rejection sensitivity and I'm afraid that if I write something someday I'll want to share it and then it's going to eventually lead to rejection...lol. And I've struggled with this for the past 12 years, but lately I've been writing with a friend and we've been putting our work out together and everything is so much easier with a friend and I feel soo soo proud of myself! That's it. A happy happy celebration rant.
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ADHD
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I am like Oprah with all the compliments I'm giving out and all the conversations I'm engaging in.
It's like I switch to being extroverted all of a sudden and I actually enjoy talking to people which is weird because I'm usually uncomfortable to a slight degree and I get bored/agitated/distracted fairly quickly. But now I feel like I'm almost over sharing and over involving myself.
Is this normal? Maybe social anxiety coming and going? The adhd? Something else? I'm seeing a therapist for the first time in a while so I'll be able to get their perspective but I wanted to know if anyone has a similar experience?
P.S yes I took my meds today and this is probably why I'm posting this.
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ADHD
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Hi all
I got diagnosed this year as an adult (42), so I'm still in the early stages of learning what ADHD actually is, how it effects me and those around me too.
​
One thing I'm struggling with is sensory overload when it comes to notifications. I'm a programmer and we generally communicate via Microsoft Teams, email and Zoom. When we were in the office, we would have impromptu desk meetings too, but otherwise it was still the same.
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I love my job and I really enjoy my work, so I tend to really get into it, especially when I have music running. One thing I'm struggling with is staying on top of discussions happening in Teams and email, as well as remembering to do some code reviews through out the day. I find that there are a massive amount of notifications that get generated via Teams, because if you're in a channel, you get a notification when people tag that channel in a conversation. I can't really make it so that I only get notified when I'm specifically tagged and ignore the channel tag, as some of those conversations actually require my attention. However, I find that because of the amount of notifications I get, they overwhelm me and then I tend to just straight up ignore them. Then when I do get around to looking at them, I find that I don't really dive into them, but rather just skim them the first message and the last one or two in a thread and kinda mark as read, so I don't have to deal with them anymore.
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Email is the same. There's just so much noise from Github emails, emails from Jira, emails from monitoring tools, etc. I just tend to ignore it all (my email is currently sitting at 8755 unread emails and that's just my main inbox, not even including the unread emails that get filtered because of mail rules).
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I tried setting scheduled breaks at certain times of the day, but they didn't always line up with the actual schedule of my day (for instance, getting a notification do do code reviews, when I'm actually in a meeting). Those notifications would then pile up and meet the same fate as all my other notifications.
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I find the same issue with my personal life too. I set reminders on my phone, but don't check it often enough and then when I do, there's a bunch of calendar notifications, notifications Habitica, whatsapp messages, notifications Google articles I would be interested in reading (and often am), Linkedin, Teams, Outlook, etc.
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I tried writing stuff down in a book, which (sorta) worked for a while, but at some point the lists in the book become to long, or I misplace the book and forget to remove or add stuff at which point it becomes more noise. I've tried sticky post-it notes for reminders for things I should be doing that should be habbit, but then the amount of sticky notes becomes too many and at that point it's just colourful things on the wall and not something I actually go through often enough.
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How do you all deal with this? What are methods I should try out?
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ADHD
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I, (29F), am having strong suspicions that I may be on the spectrum and am having a bit of an identity crisis about it. I don’t want to pursue a diagnosis because I can’t afford it and am not sure it would do me much good anyway. Where can I get some solid information on adult female autism so that I can understand myself better (if I continue to find that it is in line with my experiences) and make some positive life changes in light of that?
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aspergers
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Recently Ive just felt like Im in limbo. I know Im not really depressed, but Im not a happy person at the same time, but Im also not really sad either. Its very weird for me because earlier this year I really hated myself, I hated being alive and I didnt really see any hope for myself lasting the rest of the year. I dont really have that mindset anymore , but at the same time I just dont feel like I have a positive future ahead. This year was very rough and honestly, it didnt have much positives, at all if any. I didnt really make any new friends, I didnt do anything special or accomplish anything with myself, and there wasnt any time during this year where I really felt happy, like I belonged anywhere. No one really checks up on me at all, I dont have any IRLs, no new relationships, my confidence levels are at low, nothing positive really. Matter of fact Ive lost more friends than I have gained over the past year. The most I can say that Ive gained this year is really just a new job honestly. I do like it, but a new job can honestly mean just more stress in a way rather than an escape. I just feel confused really. Like when is my time gonna come to be happy? Recently Ive just kind of accepted that I am lonely and have tried to embrace it, but I always ask myself if this is gonna be the life Im destined to live? Am I never gonna get to be happy? Am I just not destined to get married, have kids, start a family of my own? Will there really be no one else around me in my life other than my family? Its just hard to accept really, but when I try to change it and turn things around, I never get any good results, and I just end up back at square one, with myself and only myself. Around half of this year Ive just kinda been by myself. Like I said before, no one checks up on me, I go days, weeks, even months without even talking to another person thats not my family, or coworker. If I ever did talk to someone, I had to be the one who starts conversation. I have to be the one who invites myself or sets up anything. If I dont, I basically get no contact outside of my own house. Its like no one values me as a friend, or even cares if Im okay or not. And im gonna be honest, Im getting really tired of being told, "I wanted to reach out but I assumed you wanted space". It pisses me off. If you wanted to know if I was okay, or at the least ask how I was doing, you wouldve messaged me. You wouldve made the effort to ask if I was okay if you really think of me as a friend, and not just hope that im recovering on my own. To me that phrase just says, "Im to lazy to reach out, hopefully youre okay". Its bullshit in my opinion. Its just so sad to me that I have taken a lot of time towards the end of the year to just basically accept that Im not supposed to talk to anyone, and thats just the life I'm meant to have. Im already shy and introverted as it is. Then you got all of this stuff on the side that doesnt help my social life, all the PTSD inducing experiences that Ive encountered the last couple of years. People really are scary and evil creatures.
So yea, Idk what else to say or think about my state of mind. I dont wanna die or even hate myself because I know my value as a person, Im just not happy with how things have been and Im not very hopeful for the future. Just wish my time for happiness would come already. Everyone says it will, and that I need to be patient. Just dont know what I did to deserve this treatment. :(
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depression
|
I have reached a point today where I am forming a level of understanding and focused intent on proactively supporting my health and wellness.
What is it about ADHD that I am required to sit down and write out a framework to support my happiness and wellness.
I feel like most people do not struggle with this level of focus and intentional action when supporting their own happiness and wellness.
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ADHD
|
For context I'm a 16 your old guy who has been diagnosed with mild adhd since a young age and i think it's getting worse.I come from a country where mental health is paid absolutely no attention and having ADHD is considered being slow or dumb I've been told this for such a long time that I myself have accepted it. I've always struggled with just being functional on a daily basis. And i dont exactly have the best track record with mental health. And the academic part of my life has always suffered due to me being unable to get enough work done or not being able to focus on whatever task i have at hand. Usually i could push thru and somehow pass all my classes but recently I have been finding it hard to do that too. As I have trouble paying attention in class and also not being able to get any studying done on my own ( i take probably 3-4 hours for a job that someone normal would take 30mins for). And 11th and 12th grade for me are extremely important as it is gonna help me get into a college.
I've posted about this cuz I wanted to know how effective the meds are and also just let out a few things as I don't know anybody that can relate with how I feel
Are meds exactly what people hype them up for?
Can you get addicted to them?do they have any side effects?
How do you get prescribed?
What's the difference between being on and being off the meds?
Are there any bad experiences anyone has had while being on meds?
What are long term effects?
What are the advantages or disadvantages?
After reading my situation do you think I require meds?
Also i have spoken to my parents about meds but they are extremely reluctant to going down that path IDEK why. I have decided to do some research on meds becuz (gonna sound cringe but) i genuinely think there is so much i can amount to and do but I am just unable to becuz I have weights
Tied to my feet.
Also i apologize for being all over the place as i have alot of trouble putting down what exactly is going on in my mind in a structured form
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ADHD
|
I feel like i can only handle working a part time job. I’m so ridiculously burnt out on the weekends that i cant even get out of bed. I lie here recovering just watching tv in my room the entire weekend. I don’t shower. I don’t change my clothes. I’m so miserable at work.
And I’m a republican so I’m very against slackers. And I’m very high functioning as well so I don’t even think id qualify for disability especially since I’ve been “proving im capable of work” since i was 16 years old. And it’s not a matter of not liking what I’m doing it’s the being out of the house doing something for 8 hours a day interacting with people. And I didn’t go to college i went to trade school so there’s no just “getting a work from home online job” instead like people have been suggesting. I want to move to the state of New Hampshire in a few years and buy a house right now I live with my parents and they don’t charge me anything and they take care of cooking and laundry and things like that i can’t imagine working full time and then going food shopping and cooking and keeping the house clean on top of that. If I’m not working I’m lying in bed recovering from work. Im so miserable it’s not even funny and i cannot do this until I’m 65 and can legally retire. I’m wondering if (at least when i live in New Hampshire) I could qualify for partial disability so i can afford working 3 days a week instead. Or maybe just save up enough to buy a house in full down south and only need to work part time to pay for food and bills. I don’t know. I don’t want to cheat the system because id have a lot of shame and i always “suck it up” so i look more than capable of “sucking it up” for the next however many years but I honestly cannot function as a person putting every ounce of energy I have into this job. And im only 21.
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aspergers
|
This used to happen a lot more frequently and I forgot about it until just now when it happened again for the first time in a few years. My inner voice turned angry/condescending and I could feel a heavy blanket of negative energy just pile on me.
When it happens, my head feels light and picks up speed and everything takes on a tone of disgust. It only lasts for a few minutes or less, but it throws off my entire mood for a bit until I can get myself back on track.
There isnt a trigger; it just happens randomly. I am just weirded out that it happens at all and that there was a large break from the last time it happened.
Just wanted to share and see if this was a common experience or if I should ask my doctor about it.
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ADHD
|
Hey guys
I’m not so great with my own emotions and I would like to get better at knowing what it feels like for you guys when you experience a certain emotion( it really helps me). I also want to know how you deal with or get rid of the negative emotions like jealousy or anger and things like that. What I’m basically asking is how you can differentiate between the many combinations of emotions.It would really appreciate it! Thank you
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ADHD
|
Ive been struggling with religon based OCD for quite a while now and i keep getting a compulsion to start praying in the worry that i messed up during my prayer or that i never said i was done with my prayer and god is still listening to what im saying while thinking im talking to them and tips for how to deal with this?
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OCD
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I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it I deserve it
I’m so fucking worthless why tf am I here
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depression
|
A little background: I'm in my late 20s and have been going to therapy for a myriad of reasons since 2017. I started out going once a week, and all these years later have been feeling good and stable enough to scale back to once a month. Back in February of this year I also started seeing a psychiatrist and have been prescribed an anti-depressant that has been a literal godsend.
My parents have been varying levels of supportive through all of this. My mom has been to therapy in her younger years, so she pretty much understood its importance right away. My dad, on the other hand, has always been dismissive of any kind of specific help related to mental illness. When I was a teenager coming to grips with having anxiety, my dad's suggestion was the classic line: "Don't think about the thing that's making you anxious." Yeah, because I'm sure the dozens of experts and doctors have never tried THAT solution before.
He has his own issues that he resolves by going to karate – which is great! Good for him for finding a strategy that works for him. His problem is that he thinks EVERY mental health issue can be resolved now by karate – or if not karate, some kind of meditative activity (yoga, hiking, self help books, etc). He has openly complained that he doesn't think therapy is working for me because he hasn't "noticed a change" in my behavior or attitude, and doesn't understand that therapy isn't meant to be a personality swap. I live one state away from my parents and I'm financially independent, so it's not like he can stop me from going. He just makes it a point occasionally to let me know he "doesn't think therapy is working."
Anyway, I have a standing weekly phone call with my parents, and this past week during our call, I let them know that in addition to the anti-depressant, I've also been prescribed a small dosage of another medication to help with ADHD, which I've struggled with since elementary school but never had an official diagnosis. Immediately I heard my dad made a scoffing noise, and I could practically see him roll his eyes through the phone, but he didn't wind up saying anything. I'm not sure if my mom gave him a "shut up" look or if he caught himself, but either way it's been bothering me since (which, ironically, does NOT help with my anxiety).
I'm an only child and I'm VERY close with my parents, so I understand how it can look silly that a nearly-30-year-old is worried about parental approval – or at the very least, parental understanding. Technically speaking I don't NEED to tell them anything about my mental health, but we've always been close like that, and it's irritating that every time I try to be open about what I'm dealing with, my dad is dismissive. I'm not sure if the solution is to continue to try and educate him or just stop telling him about my mental health altogether, for my own sanity.
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ADHD
|
I have a bunch of friends who are engineers and programmers, and they seem like they are always overworked and stressed out and unhappy. Do you think therapy would help them? Or are there certain things about what it's like to be an engineer or programmer that a therapist would need to know to help them that they wouldn't know enough about?
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depression
|
i moved out of my parents house in july and since then i realised that i hate almost everything. i've been cooking for around 2-3 years but now there is no one to eat the food i dislike. before, if i didn't like something my dad would eat it. both my dad and my bf like the way i cook and always give me compliments but i hate almost everything i make so i end up throwing it away (i used to force myself to eat it but i've become much more okay with myself since i found this subreddit) and eating candy. i've gained like 10kg in the past year.
i'm in college now and this is the first time in my life where school makes me stressed so my grandma offered to meal prep for me. i love everything she makes, even when it's been in the fridge for days and then microwaved. it's great but i feel bad asking her to do that for me if it's not exam season. she offers but still, i want to learn to cook for myself once i am older and hopefully move far away from my country lol
i talked to my bf about this and he asked me what i liked to eat (the things that i can prepare, not takeout) and i could only think of 4 things and 3 of them include summer vegetables that are not tasty now so i don't want them.
i'm not really looking for a solution here, i just want to know if anyone else feels the same way. what i realised is that all of the meals i listed were fresh fruit and vegetables mixed with other things so i'm going to look only for those things when looking at recipes
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aspergers
|
Hi. I’ve come to a predicament where my biggest stim is cracking joints but i do it excessively probably at least 300-500 times a day and have been for 5 years. It’s come to the point where my muscles have become very stiff and i have 3 trigger fingers cause of it. I don’t know if it’s worth replacing or just dealing with the damage. I don’t want an obvious one and get weird looks that’s why mine have always been subtle. It’s also a anxiety thing too where if i don’t i get super anxious but now it’s causing anxiety. Most of the time when i do it it feels normal to me so it’s pretty unconscious like i can know I’m doing it if i hear the noise but i can be looking at my fingers doing it and not realize that’s what’s happening. If anyone has ideas pointers or anything to help I’d appreciate it.
|
aspergers
|
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