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I don’t even know where home is, I don’t even know who I am, I don’t even know if I wanna be alive anymore, I don’t even know why I am, I don’t even know how I made it to 20 years old, I don’t even know why my bio parents did/don’t love me, I don’t even know why my only bio sister doesn’t love me, I don’t even know why my past is so fucked up, I don’t even know why my fosters moms so fucked up, I don’t even know why god took my baby, I don’t even know why my life has been nothing short of fucked up..
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depression
|
Does anyone of you hold their breath while looking at certain objects, scary movies, ugly videos so any of that stuff “won’t happen to you”?
It is been getting worse for me and sometimes my lungs hurt, because i dont just hold my breath, i also need to exhale pretty hard.
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OCD
|
You sat next to me at the cafe as I met my friend. You opened by engaging my dog and got my attention by asking the meaning of her Finnish name. You started discussing the Sami and Lapp people, impressing me with your knowledge of Finnish and languages. You asked why I named her that-- a question I’ve never been asked by a stranger before.
You began speaking of your hobby of studying languages, not a particular special interest of mine but one I enjoy hearing about. I've noticed that a way to share care with some people is to let them talk about their passion. That's how I feel loved, too, but I rarely get to. My friend waited patiently as we conversed easily. We hit it off, you and I, although we may have looked an odd pair. Me, a woman in her thirties and you, a man 25 years her senior with noticeable body odor and dirty clothes. But it didn’t bother me. How often do I get to have a conversation so actually interesting? Finally I stated my enjoyment but needed to return to my friend. You quickly excused yourself and returned to your table.
As I said goodbye to my friend, you spoke to me once more. “Thank you,” you said, “for letting me know you wanted to finish your conversation. Some people don’t. What is the Sami word for goodbye?”
“I wish I knew,” I said, and I saw you flinch. I realized you thought I was being cruel when it was meant sincerely. You know I often struggle to communicate clearly.
We exchanged names, and I walked away, choking back tears that I didn’t know how to correct that small, but important misunderstanding that had just occurred, while simultaneously delighted by your charm, intellect, and sincerity.
I wanted so much to say, “Jeff, me too. I understand more than you know. We are the same kind of people you and I.”
I tried not to cry at my own experiences of not knowing when to leave a conversation, of being smart but unemployed/underemployed/employed but struggling invisibly, subtly excluded and misunderstood by those who reportedly have all the empathy.
I couldn’t say that to you in that moment but I can say it here after I’ve cried about your life, my life, and every invisible trauma my autistic brothers and sisters struggle with every day.
I understand because I too am autistic.
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aspergers
|
I AM SO TIRED OF THIS OCD BS I DON'T WANT TO WAKE UP ANYMORE THIS ISN'T LIVING UGH!!!!
|
OCD
|
Right now I'm freaking out, and I'm having a couple of dexies to start work. Feels a bit weird, like I'm using the pills to get through a trauma response.
I'll explain what I mean now:
It's been put to me by mental health professionals that my aversion to doing school work can be understood in terms of a trauma response.
The basic idea is that you can't concentrate because you're in a hypervigilant state.
Part of the solution is then to calm down: going for walks amongst trees has been especially helpful.
Disclaimer: on reddit people gate keep trauma, but the actual professionals just want to help people. The way it's been explained to me is: "trauma leaves us maladjusted. Who do you know who is perfectly adjusted?"
Also this is arguably the wrong flair, but there is no "discussion" flair.
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ADHD
|
I don't know if I really got ptsd but I always flinch and shit when I ear loud noise. I also can't sleep anymore because I awlays got the same dream where I see my dead friends and my brother. In every dream they are pissed after me because I couldn't save them and straight up insult me. I can't no longer sleep because I know im still gonna have this dream so the only solution I found is to smoke a lot of weed and being drunk so I cant dream. I want to have a normal live back and sleep like a normal person but most importantly I want to stop felling so guilty about my friends and brother death.
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ptsd
|
Have you ever noticed, that lower-functioning autistics, will do "duplicating" behaviour?
I have a younger brother, who is lower-functioning autistic, and will literally copy what I do. Very little copying even, like, if I am staying up late, he stays up late. If I am not watching the TV, he will get up and stop watching it.
But the DSM basically seems to believe now, that lower and higher-functioning autism are much the same "autism". They have rolled both into a diagnosis of "ASD", and ditched the "Asperger's" diagnosis.
Therefore, if lower-functioning autistics have this desire to copy things all the time, then so do we.
So, what does it mean, to copy something? And copy what, exactly? And how long does it take us to copy something, so we can move on?
For example, I used to write a lot of diaries, and I still do. I would write these big lengthy diaries of my thoughts. This is helpful for ADHD because we have a poor working memory, and thus, the solution is to externalise things.
But writing diaries can also be described as simple "copying" behaviour.
So, we are "copying" our internal thoughts onto paper, as best we can.
I would strongly recommend writing such a diary, at least when first working out your strategy or routine for the day, or for life, because we are clumsy when put on the spot.
But the point is this. What about all these other times, where we get upset about a particular thing, and then we want on and on about it? It's tempting to think, we are upset about a particular thing in general, and maybe we are.
But have you considered, that when we are upset about something, our brain really just wants to make a copy of it?
By that definition, how might a laptop connected to a TV via HDMI cable help with that?
If you have "screen mirroring" set up on Windows, and now the laptop screen precisely mirrors the TV screen. Now, you can simply occasionally take a brief glance over to the laptop, and then back to the TV.
Interestingly enough, this also may or may not mimick the side to side eye movement used in EMDR therapy and I'm sure a lot of us have some kind of trauma built up for sure.
The other advantage of plugging a laptop into a TV, is that it keeps the screen at head height. They have shown in ADHD subreddit, that it's useful to have a screen line up with your eyes. This seems to impact your attention span massively, if the screen keeps shifting up and down all the time. It feels so much more peaceful having the TV screen at eye line. Of course, your own body will move around, and head, and own eyes, but you can't help yourself doing that. What you can do, is fixate the TV in the same spot, vertically and horizontally, so it just sits there. That's one less odd thing that is moving around and making you nervous. Remember, we get nervous with all these moving things, like cars, people in a shopping. Autistic people panic when anything is moving around in the room, as if it's a whole new room, every time one thing in the room changes.
Other advantages of plugging the laptop into the TV....
It also means that we are not shuffling the laptop around on our lap. Less adjusting etc.
Also no sensory issues of the heat of the laptop on our lap.
Even the weight of the laptop on our lap, and some people don't like weight.
Even having a Bluetooth keyboard and mouse instead of laptop and it's now lighter to just get up off of the chair when we want. Less chances of breaking the laptop accidentally if we drop it, since we aren't actually holding the laptop.
I think that autistic brain is quite efficient, and hates breaking things, losing money etc. Think about the narcissistic autistics who freak out, even if someone accidentally leaves the light bulb on, as if this is costing electricity etc.
I think that the autistic brain is quite efficient, and realises, why not have a Bluetooth keyboard and mouse on our lap, rather than the laptop. Because if we accidentally break it, that's less money lost.
One time, I did accidentally trip over my laptop cable and it smashed on the floor and I had to buy another one, or at least, another hard drive.
Now look at that structure too. All we have on our lap now, is the mouse and keyboard. All the power is now away from us. And the laptop itself is then connected to the wider Internet, which is even bigger and more powerful than the laptop. I.e. visualise a data centre.
Ah. So, look at that highly interesting structure that has now formed.
And sure, I do find it interesting to switch my eyes from the TV to the laptop, as a way of, in mere seconds, mimicking this "duplicating", "copying" or "mirroring" behaviour in autism.
This is efficient, because instead of spending 10 minutes writing out a diary of what I'm thinking, and after enough words, being satisfied that I have sufficiently "duplicated" my thoughts.
Instead, I take one nice, simple glance over to the laptop, and by all means, hold your eyes there for a few seconds, make your eyes over to the TV, back, forth, and voila, you just did duplicating behaviour with way less time and effort needed.
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aspergers
|
Even as a child when my school would go on trips that required money, I would never go because I couldn't bring it up to my parents. I'd see my siblings always going on trips but I could never do it. And even if I needed it for personal reasons I'd never say anything because "I'm sure they have better things to do with their money."
I've always been the kind of person who when/ if I need help with something, I'll drag it out till the last possible minute after trying and trying and concluding that I can't do it on my own. Then I have to go through the process of how and who I'm going to ask for help lol
My parents told me a story about when I was little. I don't remember it but apparently I was riding on the back of my dad's bike and my leg got stuck in the pedal thingy. I literally didn't say anything and my dad felt it getting more difficult to pedal so he went to see what was going on and I was just bleeding out with a straight face LMAO now I have a giant scar
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aspergers
|
I am 17 currently and my intrusive thoughts started when I was 16 (a few months before my 17th birthday) and I read that OCD can develop in early adulthood too, so I was just curious. I don’t think there are OCD or any other mental disorders in my family that is hereditary and I fear that my OCD is not real and that I’m the actual thing my OCD tells me I am.
I’m not sure if my mind processed things differently for OCD to develop or collect enough anxiety to create OCD. I am getting an appointment with a psychiatrist soon, so I’m scared. Also, if anyone has ever seen a psychiatrist, can you please tell me how you’re experience went? If you’re comfortable of course, I would very much to know what to expect.
|
OCD
|
I've spent a long time trying to figure out if it's my OCD torturing me or if I'm really trans .
To be honest at this point I think it's both, but my ocd is torturing me with"what if you're not trans and this is just OCD".
But I don't think I can cause positive emotions and I've had really strong euphoria from the idea of being a woman, and a strong feeling I want to be a mom. And euphoria for making a small changes like shaving my body. Those positive emotions can't come from OCD can they?
|
OCD
|
Hello everyone, I don't know much about ADHD but when I was explaining my daily frustrations to my new doctor (I've left school and haven't done much in the past 2 years after failing hard at it.)
I've been prescribed Ritalin 10mg, on the first day I took it (2 days ago) I felt it. I really did. I felt calmer, more composed, I didn't fiddle as much with stuff, when I read text my eyes were actually fixed on it and more... but since that day I've been taking a pill before daily tasks and I don't feel ANYTHING. I'm going to bring this up to my doctor but I would really like help if anyone knows anything about it, much appreciated.
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ADHD
|
I’m learning how to use my voice and speak out. Here is a clip of mine talking about being told to “get over” trauma and a bit about how I cope with mine.
https://youtu.be/gYcR6XthEqQ
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ptsd
|
I would love some support or insight to what I am experiencing. For several years now I’ve been dealing with intrusive violent thoughts and images. They normally always come in the form of vivid imagery and they are normally based around harm (harming others, harming self, or harming pets, etc.) It’s very distressing and disturbing. I’m in therapy, but I haven’t received a formal diagnosis yet. I have noticed that my anxieties tend to shift and jump around some. I’ve had relationship based thoughts, sexual thoughts, etc. But what truly distresses me the most are the unwanted feelings or urges I get and sometimes I even get these unwanted inner “voices” or inner phrases based thoughts like “I hate him” or “I hope he dies”. It feels like my internal dialogue but it’s not reflective of who I am if that makes sense. It makes me sick to my stomach. This doesn’t occur very often at all. But I find it very disturbing when it does because they feel completely disturbing and they don’t at all reflect who I am or who I want to be. I don’t go around choosing to have thoughts about people like that. And it tends to focus on the one person I love the most (my husband), I guess because we live alone together, and I hate it because I love him so much. So I guess what I’m asking is… has anyone else ever experienced an inner intrusive voice that comes off as super violent or demeaning instead of just the images? I have a lot of fears about this not being the same thing and that it’s somehow schizophrenia or psychosis. Any insight on what I’m experiencing would be helpful and may give me some peace of mind.
|
OCD
|
I got assaulted about two years ago at work by a client, and they repeatedly hit me in the face. It caused me a lot of emotional trauma and caused me a lot of grief, stress, anger, and all the other words that describes the feelings of trauma. I am mostly over it, but my PTSD and anxiety over the situation flares up every once in a while. My brother has been home from school since the start of the year, due to the pandemic. A few times he "pretended" to punch me in the face, and I have said every time I don't like it but he mocks me and says I am making a big deal over something that is just pretend. It reminds me of my assault. Then, today he did it again and I finally stood up for myself and told them to stop, because I have trauma around assault, and even though I know he would never actually hit me I have really had enough. If it was an accident, or if they did it and then immediately apologize afterwards that would be a different story. But they don't care.
My mom was in the same room and I strictly said to STOP and that I have trauma around aggression, and she mocks me. I then raise my voice again and tell him to stop mocking me and respect that I don't like it. Of course, I get in trouble and yelled at because "it was only a joke" and "I am overreacting". They weren't the one who dealt with the physical and emotional pain of assault. I seriously am fed up with getting told I am too sensitive, or for getting in trouble for expressing when my feelings are hurt for something that my brother is doing. They didn't work shifts after and face extreme anxiety levels. They didn't feel like their career was ruined because of it. They didn't experience burn out and imposter syndrome. They didn't have to deal with bad dreams and flashbacks from the event for months.
I feel so frustrated. Nobody is respectful of this situation in my house, and of course I get painted as the bad guy for explaining how their actions upset me. My boyfriend understands and completely supports me, but I just wish for once people (especially my family of all people) could have compassion for their loved one who suffers from PTSD.
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ptsd
|
After second grade (US school system), I moved to another state and went to a new school. After being mostly alone in third grade, I made a friend in fourth grade. We only hung out with each other, and that was how I assumed friendships were supposed to go. Eventually, I think in late fourth or fifth grade, that friend found another friend. This led me to believe that my friend had “moved on.” I thought this because I had never had more than one friend at a time and thought that was the limit; I never realized that people could have multiple friends.
So I pestered my friend to always hang out with me and always talk to me instead of the other kid. This led to him becoming angry and eventually hating me. But I didn’t know the reason why he suddenly hated me; I asked him several times, but he refused to explain it. It wasn’t until the end of eighth grade when his girlfriend at the time told me that he had told her I wouldn’t let him hang out with his other friend, and that was why he hated me. I was stunned. If he had just told me that, I would have realized that people could have multiple friends.
I believe we were both at fault for the dissipation of this friendship: me for not letting him be with his other friend too, and him for not making that simple explanation to me.
Have you ever had a situation like this? Did you get too clingy to your only friend?
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aspergers
|
Our 6 year old is diagnosed ADHD. We have been working with doctors, therapist, teachers...the whole gammit since she was 4 to get the diagnosis and finally are settled into a good place. The downside, she's having a hard time making friends now. Any tips on how we can start to build friendships up at school again, our daughter is getting discouraged.
When she is not on medication she is extremely impulsive which usually turns into physical aggression towards peers. Now that her meds are dialed in she has a lot of the impulsivity under control. She's ready to be friends but many kids shy away from her because they remember her being physically aggressive (1st grade age).
We actually switched schools last year in 5K because the school wasn't doing anything to help her, just separating her a lot from the class and one of the side affects ended up being bullying issues towards her. Good news our new school is well known to support teaching through ADHD and has created an amazing team around her. Now we are trying to get her new friends, but these kids also remember how she was before her medication was dialed in.
Her teacher is helping to try and get her exposed to new social groups, and reported in the classroom all the kids are welcoming of her. She did mention at recess the kids to shy away from our daughter or avoid playing with her. The school counselor is taking our daughter weekly for 1 on 1's to talk about what it means to be a good friend and how we can play well with our friends. Once the counselor feels our daughter is ready she's going to build play groups within the grade level to try some build some of that trust up again with friends. I also took on leading her Daisy Scout troop at school to get her into more social groups.
Any other tips to help her build friendships up?
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ADHD
|
I just want to say I’m super thankful for this subreddit. I only recently got diagnosed and I’m super happy to know I’m not alone in this. I had no clue what OCD truly is until weeks ago and it’s been interesting to learn that a lot of my struggles are from OCD and that I’m not actually the person my brain tells me I am (even though I still believe it almost all of the time).
I know I’m cheesy but I just wanted to share my gratitude 😭
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OCD
|
So as we all know, suppressing ocd thoughts and compulsions is extremely hard. However I’ve found one way that allows me to suppress them, sometimes. It’s not a good way and it’s not like I’m recommending it or anything but I’ve realized that when I’m really fucking pissed the fuck off I am able to, sometimes, brush over my ocd thoughts. My brain will be like “go turn the light off 20 times” but I’m so pissed off that I literally say to myself “you know what, fuck you, I’m not fucking doing that”. Lmao. Being mad is my only way out of this.
|
OCD
|
Hi, I'm in an Autism discussion group on zoom. It is run by an autistic woman. We have a meeting every Monday at 6:00 PST. Today Monday the 26th at 6:00pm PDT. we will be meeting on Zoom. If you are interested in attending please send me a private message and I will give you the Zoom link to join.
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aspergers
|
I keep wondering if a 'cure' of some sort would even be possible say, 10 - 50 years from now? I can't think of a mental health issue that we've been able to 'cure' but mental health issues stem from a physical source (i.e. a genetic pathway is messed up resulting in proteins not being created... etc..) and so given that we've been able to cure other ailments which have physical sources, I don't see why this wouldn't be possible...
​
Thoughts, ideas?
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ADHD
|
Personally i enjoy reading books but everytime intrusive thoughts pop in my head and make reading difficult i used to be an average reader in terms of speed now im really slow since i have to reread lines and phrases because of my ocd any tips?
|
OCD
|
...and it's frankly disheartening, though not unexpected, how many scholars and clinicians of HFA/asperger's well into the late 20th century (and beyond?) were effectively bullies who psychologically tortured and gaslit their subjects of inquiry. This includes a clinical practitioner who insulted a young patient's mother *to his face*, one who screamed at the individuals they researched, etc.
Even more disheartening is how they considered their autistic patients detached when they themselves appear to have begun their research with assumptions they were already determined to prove correct (ever taken a research ethics class? Because that is not responsible research). Often, the scholars themselves seemed to have been incapable of truly empathizing with the individuals they studied.
That this continues today, both presumably in regular clinical practice and in more publicly obvious forms (ABA, etc.) - and that a substantive number of people are on board with it - surely doesn't make things much better in the grand scheme of it all.
|
aspergers
|
I have POCD and I can’t talk to my parents or anything about it. I’m only 17 and I’m fearing for my life if I’m attracted to 12-13 year old girls or not. I had a breakdown last night and I’m literally about to start crying again. I held back tears for a minute but I almost guarantee I’m gonna cry again before I go to bed. I’m so mentally drained from the last mental breakdown. If anyone has one and wants to chat my username is beef33123
|
OCD
|
I’m in my mid forties and have been struggling ADHD my whole life. I got tested in the eighties and the therapist concluded I didn’t have ADHD. Obviously this person was wrong. I barely made it through high school and college. Low gpa because I could make myself do much of anything. I was lucky to get a good job out of college and managed to hang on despite my horrendous productivity. It feels amazing to know that I’m capable of at least matching the contributions of my coworkers. I know meds won’t solve everything, but I wanted to share my experience. Love this sub and it’s inspired me to get help!
|
ADHD
|
Hello everyone,
Please don't read if this might be triggering for contamination OCD sufferers. Only looking for people with semi-normal experiences with thoughts on germs/contamination.
I'm trying to make more strides in not acting on my compulsions, which are based around contamination, esp. bodily waste and smell. However, I've suffered from moderate to severe obsession around the topic for so long that I've rationalized every compulsion.
Especially irrational examples below:
\-I don't wear shorts above the knee because when I use the restroom, my dirty hands touch my thighs when pulling up my pants, thus 'dirtying' my upper legs.
\- I can't change my pants without washing my legs because the 'dirty' part of my pants will touch my feet and calves.
\-When I see someone adjust their pants by touching under the waistband, I am super triggered and feel everything they touch is contaminated. I can't touch almost anything in my own house without washing my hands. My only safe places are my bed and one seat on the couch.
\-I need to let the bathroom air out for >25 mins after someone uses it, even if there's no obvious bad smell.
Would someone be able to provide a 'normal' counterargument for these compulsions? Thanks in advance :)
|
OCD
|
Tw: mention physical health worries
I have pure-o OCD involving my health, and I’ve had it for the last 20 years. It has become so debilitating to the point I am applying for disability in a month.
This year, I seem to keep getting diagnosed with actual physical health problems, making my OCD absolutely LOOSE ITS MIND. LIKE I FEEL LIKE IM GOING TO EXPLODE FROM MADNESS. I don’t like things wrong with my body. And things seem to keep going wrong with my body.
Just here for support. Seeing if anyone is experiencing/feeling the same. Maybe make some friends who understand what I’m going through.
|
OCD
|
I don’t know how to write this out? I got into an argument about differing political views and a shared ex boyfriend with a girl over a year ago. I still check her page from my spams compulsively at least once a day. She knows I’ve lurked because the shared ex told her. (Edit: she is very mentally ill and has stopped posting on all the accounts I know of probably because she thinks the people who respond to her unhinged posts are me secretly hating on her, or maybe she’s rightfully freaked out) She posted pictures of me and encouraged people to bully me. I really dislike her. So why do I want to check up on her?
EDIT: It’s not just her it’s any girls social media who I dislike. It’s definitely her the most. But any girl I dislike I cyber stalk for some period of time? I try not to. And I never leave hate comments or anything like that but I silently watch and judge. Where is this coming from? Has anyone else struggled with this?
|
OCD
|
A good friend of mine who also recently graduated asked me to move to the city with him and to be his roommate. I initially said yes and was super excited, but eventually chickened out for no reason. He has a ton of friends in the city and said he would introduce me to a lot of people; that really would’ve been my opportunity to become social and meet people. I’m so goddamn lonely all the time and it really helps if I have some human interaction (whenever I rarely get it).. I can’t believe I turned him down because now I literally have no hope of a social life. I have no other friends who live near me and I feel like I’m doomed. Thinking about this mistake is making my depression a lot worse because all I really want is to not feel so lonely.
|
depression
|
I need advice. I'm not sure if its myself or my anxiety reacting. I need someone not involved with me to ask,
|
depression
|
I really hate my intrusive thoughts. They're like "lol how about you push your mother down the stairs" or "what if you snapped your dad's neck" and it SUCKS man. Just a little vent.
|
OCD
|
For example having obsessions like sexual identity ocd, touretic ocd, intrusive thoughts of all kinds that you have to ruminate/solve in your mind multiple times because they keep popping when you would rather they not, washing hands repeteadly because maybe you think you did it but you actually didn't.
But not things like If I don't wash my hand again a family member that live in another country will die. Or if I don't see this tv show right now I'm going to have a heart attack tonight.
Thanks!
|
OCD
|
Or confusing it with cleanliness. Cleaning the same spot over and over again until you feel relief from anxitey is an example of a ritual. It's normal to have a moment that you forgot to lock the door or turn off the stove. So you check again. But to someone who has OCD this is repetitve. Checking 15-20 times unlocking and re-locking the door or washing your hands 10 times are examples. To rid yourself of the crippling anxiety that your brain perceives. Like your house burning down, a loved one passing, losing a pet etc. It can also be accompanied by horrifying intrusive thoughts to which you have little to know control of. Fighting compulsions everyday to the point where you are physically exhausted. And suffering from insomnia getting 4 hours a sleep a night. I don't want to think of bloody murder everyday or my brain catastrophizing everything.
OCD is not fun. It's not to be romantacized. It is most certainly not a personality trait. Claiming so is offensive to myself and any one else who deals with this disorder. I know this is a place for people like me who have this disorder to post. I needed to vent. I want to do more to educate people about this terrible mental illness.
|
OCD
|
Any supernatural fans out there? So I started rewatching for the (insert a large number here) time. Dean kinda nails it when he gets back from hell and is talking to Sam. Like no amount of talking is gonna make it better. Talking about it is just gonna make everyone around you uncomfortable and now gives them 1) potential to make your trauma theirs and have their own reaction 2) use it against you 3) I’m sure there’s more but I’m not dwelling.
Idk I’ve been in therapy for 4 years. Last summer had a new bloody trauma. And a week ago had a full textbook flashback. Like. I did the work. I did everything I was supposed to and it still happened. I’ve been putting in so much work and my partner just told me yesterday I’m still impossible to live with.
Someone. Give me a success story. Give me something to make me just not turn off and “tuffen up” mentality. I’m too tired to keep trying if it’s just always gonna be shit.
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ptsd
|
Every day is the same old feeling of awfulness. Constant stress and anxiety and trying to get on disability so I don't end up homeless. Constantly trying to better myself only to fail each time. Losing interest in things I once loved. Just facing all this alone has been awful. I hate living like this. 21 years of pointless existence. I hate the loneliness the most though.
|
depression
|
I can't stop feeling like a horrible person either. Recently became a part of an online community and was actually starting to open up and socialize.
But then I tried to do a trade with someone and, after some time of back and forth, they just wanted more than I had to offer so I apologized for wasting their time and told them to have a good day. They replied with "well, I was going to say I could hold it for you...but you're attitude is so off 😅" and I just felt panic and told them I was just saying that because I really felt I had wasted their time as it had been an hour since we started the conversation , that they didn't need to be rude, and then I blocked them.
But that was a week ago and I can't stop thinking about it every time I try to go back into that community and just can't bring myself to socialize like I had been because I just know inside they're going to see what that person saw and think I'm "off." I just think about it non-stop and feel worthless and guilty for I don't even know what.
First time posting here. Feel free to delete this if it doesn't belong.
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OCD
|
I was told last year that i have ptsd and depression(i cant be medicated for the depression because of headaches). It is mostly from verbal abuse from my mother over the last 22 years or so. I dont talk to her anymore and im personally looking into ways around how i end up acting when something triggers a panic attack be it mild or massive. So i play games cant go outside without anyone i trust and never normally talk to people outside those i trust. So hear is a question. What do i do if i need to calm down and am alone?
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ptsd
|
A family member died and my family wanted to get together for the weekend and celebrate my passing Aunt’s life. My therapist told me its best I don’t go. I have a weird relationship with my mother and sisters to where I felt like I had to go. I was diagnosed with ptsd from childhood trauma that was triggered by a assault that happened to me years later. It will be my first time seeing my childhood abuser since I remembered what happened as a child. I told myself I will go and then kill myself. I don’t understand myself.
|
ptsd
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Hi all!
As the title says, I recently started realizing that a friend of mine whom I occasionally interact with (we're both highly introverted and self-reserved, and generally antisocial) may have some form of mild autism. I'm really not what it is though, and I'd like to ask some help from you guys to identify it. An obviously easier and more straightforward option would be a psychologist of course, but my friend doesn't like or trust medical professionals, and she doesn't appreciate to be told about the possibility of her problems being rooted in a mental condition. I feel bad for her because doesn't have any friends (though I consider myself one she more than once expressed that she doesn't even know what friendship really means), and as things are going at the moment, I worry she might lose more than she can handle before turning to professional help. If any of you know the best way to approach people like her, let me know please, I highly appreciate any thoughts or insights!
I should list the unique and striking characteristics which may indicate what's "off" about her, or what contributes to her seemingly unsolvable peril with the whole world outside:
\- She's 22 now, I knew her since she was 17, and probably the most curious thing about her I noticed, is that she haven't aged the slightest over the last five years. I myself am someone who appears much younger in looks than my age, but in her case, it's like she's stuck in her 15s, her looks, her speech, her thoughts, her memories, all resemple that of an adolescent girl's, much more so than one would expect. Understandably she often complains about not being taken serious by her peers mainly because of it.
\- She's highly sensitive to emotions. Few people I know experiences emotions with such depth and magnitude like she does, to the point it can cause her panic attacks, at least by her account. She perceives everyhing through certain emotional filters. What's also interesting, is that though she verbally expresses these things, her face is unreadable most of the time. I witnessed her laughing five times total since I knew her, and I never once seen her shed a tear. She's never been in love, it appears to be an impossible thing to her since love isn't always peaceful and pure. She sometimes feels the attraction towards certain people but she cannot internalize it, and gets conflicted instead. The longest relationship she had lasted about three months, only because her boyfriend refused to acknowledge that she cannot return his feelings for her, and she was too insecure to end things herself.
\- Despite being highly emotional, she doesn't understand other people's thoughts or emotions, unless they are highly relatable to her. She's intelligent, she has at least above average intelligence, but she has an obvious weakspot when it comes to processing the world around her, especially people. I'd go as far as to say that she's incapable of understanding certain concepts about the human behavior, her black-and-white perception of things have remained the same ever since we first talked. For example, emotional states that contain both "good" and "bad" feelings like melancholy, gratification, pride, thrill etx appear to her as simply "bad", avoidable at all costs.
\- She has an obsession with the idea of goodness. In her view an existence tainted with imperfection (suffering) is an existence wasted and unworthy. She doesn't express it in such ways per se, but she has nonstop perils and complaints with people about all of them being bad and cruel and life not being worth living because there cannot be perfect equilibrium. She obsessively and exclusively seeks the feeling of "oneness", the state where there's no differentiation between her experience and everyone else's.
\- She's highly idealistic, naive, and stubborn. Because of this, and the above mentioned reasons, she continuously over-idealizes people all the time, then gets disappointed. She makes everyone become mad of her over time, as people (myself included) get frustrated due to the difficulties of getting anything through to her.
\- She doesn't suffer from any form of speech impairment, in fact she speaks clearly and adequately, but she takes forever laying down a thought, often walking in endless circles being unable to arrive at a conclusion or the next sequence. Nevertheless she loves to express her thoughts, hours upon hours she can talk if she finds a subject willing to listen, and can quickly turn overwhelming to almost anyone who's not prepared.
\- She sometimes feel broken, but more often she thinks that the world is broken around her. She cannot understand nor accept her own thoughts or feelings that she doesn't perceive to be perfectly pure and ego-free. She hates herself for having bad thoughts, and thinks that everyone else hates her too. And in turn she hates herself for hating herself, often dragging herself into a loop that can end up with a panic attack or something similar.
​
*TL;DR: I have a friend who has serious problems with being a human, because humans aren't perfectly pure and selfless, which in turn isolates her from everyone. I'd like to help her somehow, but I don't know what kind of condition could cause someone to behave like an unwanted saint who hurts people (emotionally) more than not. Simply listening so far have only lead to me feeling guilty and miserable both for her and myself.*
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aspergers
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I (22F) got a diagnosis literally yesterday. I have told my parents in the past that I was looking into ADHD, but kind of got the response of “that’s great you’re looking into it but you don’t have it” (mainly from my mum). Now that I have been told that yes I do have ADHD, I am scared to tell my parents because part of me worries that they won’t actually be accepting of it. I know this sounds crazy, but my mum’s responses in particular in the past (along the lines of “all kids act like that, that was normal behaviour, we weren’t worried about you” and the classic “it’s screens that caused you to be like this”) do make me question how she would take this and whether or not she would actually believe me. If anyone has any advice or tips on how to approach this I would love to hear it
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ADHD
|
Hello all, so i was recently diagnosed with ADHD and my doctor prescribed me 10 mg Adderall to start. After that months worth it wasn’t very effective long-term so i got put on 15 mg XR Adderall. I was having the same issue started waring off around 1-2pm and I would crash extremely hard. So i talked to my doctor about that and she prescribed me 27 mg concerta. I went to go pick it up from the pharmacy and they gave me Methylphenidate CD 30/70 10 mg? Maybe those 2 meds are the same? Since taking this med though it’s having the opposite effect of Adderall, makes me extremely hungry and tired. Is this normal?
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ADHD
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I recently started applying for jobs online, which in itself was a feat, and have just received an invitation for an interview.
The moment I read the email I felt sick.
If I try to reply to accept I get heart palpitations, chest pains and start shaking.
Every time I think about it I begin to well up with tears.
My family are being supportive in the sense that they're pushing me to go for the interview... But it honestly feels like they're pushing me towards the edge of a cliff.
The worst part is that I can recognise how utterly ridiculous this is. There's literally nothing to be afraid of. If I flop the interview then I lose nothing.
But my body and my brain do not accept this. As far as they are concerned going for a job interview is the same as walking towards your own execution.
I assume that some people here can at least empathize with this feeling, as nobody I know IRL actually does.
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ADHD
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When I'm medicated I can choose :
Whether or not to interrupt people
Whether to get up to get some work done or procrastinate
What topic/task to focus on
What song i wanna listen on
What book I wanna read
What I wanna eat
What movie i wanna watch
What thought I wanna expand on
What idea i wanna share with people.
Without meds, I don't have the luxury to choose, if my brain decides its bored with something and wanna jump from one thing to another, there's nothing I can do to stop it.
(Just something I wanted to share)
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ADHD
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One day I’m going to die and it will be such a relief
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depression
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I was investigating a false memory and I felt like a clue could be found in an years old message from a old crushes Facebook message. I was scrolling and I accidentally liked it. FML. It was and still is so embarrassing! I frantically wrote a message trying to explain bit god damn does it seem weird. Oh well, life goes on. What's yours?
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OCD
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Hi, recently my OCD has gotten out of hand and my therapist has said that she thinks the only way for me to improve is to go in medication. I’ve been prescribed sertraline, and I’m 15 years old. Have anyone else been on this medication and does anyone know about potential side affects and if it helped them get any better? Thanks 😊
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OCD
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I know it’s not the case but I don’t get why we all aren’t autistic? I have been my entire life.
I know we all have different realities but wouldn’t it be easier if we all were autistic? Also, if it would be easier than why didn’t the world make us the same? I don’t get autism. I’ve done so much research and have been told I’m gifted but it doesn’t make sense.
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aspergers
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and why am i like this suddenly for already 2 weeks, i feel fine, but i literally tried to end my life a month ago bc of trauma, i dont get it, whenever i think about it doesn't feel like anything real
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ptsd
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I believe my son has adhd. He has many of the symptoms, which im not going to go into because thats not the purpose of this post. The question i want to ask was are there any parents here that were hesitant in getting their child evaluated for adhd because youd have to put them on medication and felt bad about it? Thats where i am with my current situation. He has a really hard time focusing and staying on task and its starting to affect him in school as well. Hes 6 years old, i just dont know what to do. Just looking for advice from a parent of a child with adhd or anyone with experience really. Thanks!
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ADHD
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Sometimes at some point in the day I literally feel so relaxed and cheerful. I think it might be because I’ve spent most of my life being so dopamine deficient, and after about a decade of literally depending on caffeine to keep me going, it’s just so odd to actually feel generally good!
If I’ve had poor sleep I usually don’t feel like that the following day, but I’m realising I at least no longer feel dreadful with awful anxiety. I reckon the caffeine was making that so much worse.
I don’t mean to sound dramatic with any of that! And I am not complaining, I’m just keen to hear from others on if they experience anything similar.
For anyone interested, I’m 3 months in and seem to metabolise methylphenidate very quickly so I take 2 separate doses of 36mg Xaggitin XL (aka Concerta) spaced about 4 hours apart + an optional 5mg Medikinet (aka Ritalin).
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ADHD
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Hey, guys.
I work night shifts in a few days, so I stayed up all night and woke up at 1:00pm. Took 50mg of Vyvanse first thing. Despite this, I'm having a horrible day (yes, I know not everyday will be great).
I'm quick to anger, I have no patience, and nothing is working right. I can't even spell things correctly, or from a conversation without slurring words or losing train of thought, and outright forgetting common words. The harder I try the greater the failure and I get even more angry. This is not me, it's just a bad day.
My kids are back from school, my wife is busy with a Zoom meeting for a weekly social group she joined, and will not be free for several hours. It's hard right now. With the kids around I can't meditate and they are too young for me to just take a walk.
I need advice, what do you do when everything is falling apart around you, you can't do anything right, you're just getting more and more upset with yourself, and the kids are being kids (fighting, crying, losing things, having tantrums)? Could it be my sleeping schedule? Possibly my diet due to missing meals and forgetting to eat?
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ADHD
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I feel like I really messed up this time.
I been suffering with severe OCD for a very long time. I'm on medications for it and see therapists. It's something I struggle with everyday and can be mentally draining.
After a 15 hour shift at work, I come home and my SO tells me he rearranged the entire kitchen. And to he honest, I had a mental break down and sobbed. I was freaking our, hyper ventilating, ect.
My SO got very mad about this and said if I move anything back he's destroying it. He won't talk to me or anything.
I feel like I could have handled if better but at the moment I just had a total break down when I saw everything moved.
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OCD
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I was diagnosed with OCD last year (I’m now 21) and would have never suspected to have OCD as it is mostly “pure o” so there are not many observable behaviours that would make it obvious. However, the more I learn about OCD, the more it makes sense and I can trace a lot of early behaviours/patterns of thinking back to OCD now.
What things from your childhood can you now recognise were from OCD?
For example: when I was around 12 I fell into a deep/existential depression. I think this was the trigger/start of a lot of mental health issues but never really knew why as I had not suffered any trauma or anything prior to that. I now know that existentialism is a fairly common theme in OCD and can definitely see how my OBSESSIVE thoughts on this topic were most likely linked to my OCD (in turn triggering depression).
Have loads more things which I have linked to OCD only now, would love to hear some others’!
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OCD
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Before I was raped my freshman year of college, I was a super clean and productive person. A straight A student in high school, super clean and organized, etc. However after this happened to me i felt it impossible to keep myself organized and productive. Over 4 years later and lots of therapy, I live a very happy life and my PTSD symptoms are mostly under control, except my productivity! I cannot seem to focus and work, keep myself organized, etc. like other people. Has anyone else experienced this and if so what has helped you?
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ptsd
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(I apologize for the long post and any grammatical errors in advance, writing is not my strong suit)
I (17F) have been struggling with lack of motivation and it's ruining my life. Motivation, especially when it comes to school is something I have always struggled with as far as I can remember. I've always been an avid fan of enjoying myself by doing the things I like, and school was not one of them, so it was never a priority. These past few years I've managed to get on, with each year just barely getting by. I'm on my senior year now and I feel as if I can no longer get on by doing the bare minimum. However, my motivation is lacking now more than ever of all times, which has been accentuated by recent events.
Back in March of this year, my mom died by sucide after being faced with separation from my dad, leading her to depression. I'd always known she wasn't doing so well in the past, but up until her death she seemed to be doing better, so you can figure how much of a shock it was to find out what had happened. The first few months weren't so bad because I was in a constant state of shock, so it didn't particularly hit me (this was my first encounter with death to someone so close to me). Fast forward to the end of May, and I became depressed. I had about every symptom: suicidal ideation, isolation, aggressiveness, lack of motivation, shitting on my schoolwork, sleeping all day, severely apathic, you name it. I don't really remember what happened for the next months, but summer break came and I guess I was doing better (than before). Since I was spending all my days home, there was really nothing new happening except for the usual stress over school, but other than that I was just "OK", in a neutral state, sometimes edging on apathy. Fast forward again to the beggining of the school year (September), and I wasn't exactly ready for school but I didn't have a choice there. However, in the following weeks I came to the realization that this was my last year, the finish line, the year that mattered the most, so I grabbed onto that for motivation. I was doing fine, doing all my assignments and studying, but it all came to an end after about 2 or so weeks. The work I'd been doing was very light, so I wasn't going to much trouble or effort to do it and since I always managed to finish it, it was self-rewarding and only pushed me further. Anyway, heavier work starts being assigned and my streak is almost instantly broken and it all comes falling down, like a line of dominoes falling on each other. This started in the second week of October and that's how it's been since then. It is now almost December, and my workload hasn't gotten any lighter. In less than two months I'll be having my mock exams and I also have a shitload of papers to deliver by then. I've also had similar episodes to those I was having back in May mostly due to isolation and, consequently, loneliness, all of which drove me to the edge. Though I didn't ever attempt anything, I felt it was only a matter of time. I could imagine myself doing it over an impulse, just like my mom. Any little thing could be enough to set me off and I felt this sense of doom creeping over me. But over time those "urges" have (sort of) passed, especially this week, since I've spent all my days sleeping and on my phone distracting myself, leaving me no time or space to think. I guess I could say I'm not struggling as much as the past weeks, but I'm still struggling a lot, especially in school.
My main cause of worry here is school and my lack of motivation, which I'm afraid I no longer have control over. I know I have all these things to do and to study for, yet I can't find any motivation. Also, I must add that my lack of motivation doesn't only apply to school, but every aspect of my life, - the typical "loss of interest in things you used to enjoy" - otherwise I wouldn't be writing here. I've also talked to my dad about this before (very briefly) and there was nothing done about it. He knows I'm not doing well in school and I'm sure he knows that this is my final and most important year, yet doesn't really check up on me, which is fine by me, but I guess it would be easier if this weight of getting help wasn't all on me. I'm in therapy, (have been since February of this year), and it's been mostly helpful, except during these times. My therapist has a very passive approach, which, as you can guess, isn't that helpful in my situation, where it should be solved as quickly as possible.
In light of all this, I've been wanting to go to the psychiatrist in order to get a diagnosis and some form of medication in order to get me back in line. The thing is, I don't know how to ask my dad. He is very supportive, but I just don't know how to brief it to him. Besides, I'm afraid I won't be taken seriously and that nothing will be done like always. My dad has his own struggles and blames himself for my mom's death while also refusing to work on that, leading me to think he might be depressed himself. How do tell him that I need this ASAP?
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depression
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Hey everyone! I’m 35 years old, a teacher, and I’ve been battling cptsd my whole life. A year ago I started meditation, yoga, and therapy, and I’ve come a long way. I feel so much better, but I still have some residual CPTSD issues I’m hoping people here can help explain, or identify, or somehow indicate me in a direction as to how to resolve this outstanding pain issue.
This is hard to explain. When I teach my students I go into fight or flight mode, apparently I've always done this. I love teaching, but I can't stop myself from being in that mode. I know I'm in it because I used to leave the classroom sweaty, exhausted, with a racing mind, and these symptoms which are hard to explain: my upper back, shoulders, and neck are inflamed/painful. It's not the kind of pain one gets from being hit or cut, nor is it pain like straining or pulling a muscle, nor is it pain like sore muscles after exercise. It's this hot inflamed sensation that I really need to crack and stretch everything, but no matter how much cracking, stretching, etc., I do, it makes absolutely no difference whatsoever. Massage also doesn't help much. The feeling frequently spreads to my eyes which feel red and bulging, my jaw which goes really tight, my nose feels like there's allergens in it, and I get mental cobwebs. Lastly, I can keep cracking my knuckles which feel dry inside, but no relief comes.
Lately, the sweating has gone down quite a bit, and I don't feel completely run over after teaching. But I'm still getting that odd pain-inflammation circulating through my body, and I would love to stop it.
The only other time I get these same feelings is if I eat dairy or peanut butter. No clue why these foods and teaching create this sensation, but they do. As a child that ate dairy and nuts all the time I felt like this 24/7. It wasn't until a few years ago after radical diet changes that I began to notice these same food sensations were happening during certain social situations.
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ptsd
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How does it feel to be validated for the first time? To find people like you and realize you're not such a loser after all?
It's a release for me.
Finally understanding (and accepting) myself and learning ways to improve my life feel insanely good.
I appreciate y'all.
--
Just some venting here:
My whole life my mother was unhappy with me because I was unintentionally messy, disorganized, sloppy, a slob, forgetful, flaky, scatterbrained and all that jazz (basically her exact opposite). I was forever offending her and I didn't even know it.
(My daddy was working away, so he didn't see me as much. Most times I got love so I'm a bona fide daddy's girl).
Messy room, can't quite sweep the floor well enough, daydreaming in class, school notebooks without notes at the end of the year, always losing my things, forgetting... all the way since first grade (maybe even earlier, but I remember struggling even early on).
Being called "lazy" "slob" "messy" 24/7.
I was always being compared to other kids my age, and I was always trying to please my mom. But I never quite did.
I don't blame her coz she didn't know any better. Though every now and then I feel like had she spoken with me for five minutes she'd have understood me better.
Now that I'm older, I'm struggling with keeping the home clean, keeping the daily schedule, and finishing the tasks I have for my work and personal life.
Not to mention the constant dopamine seeking stuff that I do (mostly hobby stuff and buying Udemy courses 😂).
It's affecting my marriage and I want to make things better for my husband and the kids.
My brain aneurysm burst three years ago seem to have made my ADHD worse. And I feel bad towards my husband who have been understanding, but obviously suffering from my quirks...
--
That said, I no longer feel like a failure.
Now it feels more like I'm off to an adventure to "fix" my life.
Now there's no shame in my messy, disorganized home—now it's a project that I can plan. Like a big KonMari project.
Now there's no shame in my forgetfulness—now I have legit reasons to wear my smartwatch with a previously (mentally) approved to-do list.
I just feel like it's up up up from here. (Realistically I know it's not all sunshine and rainbows, but hey, I feel optimistic anyway).
When you've spent more than 3 decades feeling lost and feeling like a loser, then suddenly learning you're not such a loser after all and that there's a roadmap so you don't feel so lost anymore, I can't help but feel that freedom, baby!
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ADHD
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First of all, I’m gonna apologize that my English isn’t the greatest as it is not my first language, so please bear with me.
My daughter saw a psychiatrist last month, that was her first visit to that said doctor. Her appointment went well, at the end of it, the doctor told me and my husband that she may be showing some signs of ADHD but couldn’t really fully diagnose her as he would also want the feedback from her teacher at school.
Fast forward a month after, her skills checklist from school arrived and most of the things that she need more experience are
*keeping her personal belongings organized
*keeping hands, feet and personal belongings to herself.
Other things she needs some assistance are
*actively listens to teacher or peer talking
*stays on task (can be very chatty)
*completes work in a timely manner ( sometimes chattiness gets in the way)
I have contacted the doctor that we met a month ago to give him her teacher’s feedback and hopefully go from there.
I guess my question is, basing on what I just shared, does she seems like she have an ADHD or that’s just how kids acts these days?
She’s my eldest so I’m really at lost. I hope some people here can share their experience as well.
Thank you!!!
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ADHD
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Hey dudes, I was just wondering about vyvanse, my doctor told me today that she recommended vyvanse and would write me a prescription in 2 weeks. I’m just wondering what’s your experience with the medication? Side effects? Did it help much? I was just diagnosed with adhd today and understand that the medication can be very beneficial to me I just would like a long time users opinion and knowledge. Thanks!
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ADHD
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What are you biggest helpful tips for managing destructive fidgeting (binge eating. Skin picking, nail biting)
Biggest tips for managing basic hygiene and house cleaning chores?
Think I've been using this page to long for just relating to other peoples struggles, which is really nice in the beginning to pull myself out of the self hating spiral for struggling, but now I need positive tips, what do you guys do to manage!?
Edit, preferably not including meds. just not realistic for me in the mo...do share tho if it's helped you get you to build other strategies...meds are valid!
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ADHD
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I just recently learned about Rejection Sensitivity Disphoria and while it feels good to finally have a name for what's been going on my whole life....it doesn't make me feel any better knowing that I've lost everyone in my life and every job because I didn't have thick skin...I can't make friends no matter what I do. Sucks being lonely.
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ADHD
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Title LOL. Like, what happens? Can you walk me through beginning-middle-end? I've read about ERP so I know broadly what happens, but what do you actually spending your time doing with your therapist? Is it just ERP for you, or are you talking through other stuff (mindfulness, life events, etc) as well?
Thank you!
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OCD
|
All I’ve tried to do is make people happy around me and I’ve failed. I couldn’t keep my one friend happy, I couldn’t keep my parents, friends, or family happy. Nobody cares about what I think I just get guilted into making it seem that because of my issues it affects them and it makes me even worse for not getting better. I don’t put this blame on anyone but myself for not trying to stop sooner. I have no friends around, coworkers only talk to me because I take shifts to help people. Family members don’t remember my birthday and talk to me twice a year at Christmas and thanksgiving. I thought doing things that I used to enjoy like airsoft and playing games would help but it doesn’t. My life consists of waking up and working towards something I can’t even achieve. I can’t afford to move out, and even if I did I would be doing the same thing working for no reason.I don’t fly because I can’t remember anything, expenses are to much and life as a pilot is miserable from everyone I’ve talked to but I can’t stop because I’ve dedicated my whole life and school to it. I don’t know how to explain to people I’ve talked to that I don’t want to kill myself but I don’t want to do this anymore. I haven’t felt genuine happiness in years and I don’t know why. Everyday I wake up and struggle to get out of bed and when I do all I want to do is go back to sleep. I cry every time I drive and don’t even listen to music anymore because I can’t concentrate. I go to work and put on a false attitude to seem alright. Talking doesn’t help at all and only makes it worse. I’ve messed up everything and don’t know how to fix it. I’m sorry for all the pretending and lies I’ve shown. I don’t know what I want but I know it’s not this.
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depression
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Feel free to check out my account history to see my last post that was pretty well received. I enjoyed writing it and I felt great seeing the response from it.
Until someone private messaged me.
I'm fairly hesitant with people PMing me these days because of been creeped on/harassed that way in the past, but they asked if they could talk about their POCD and I gave them an open ear. They immediately sent me a description of something they had viewed and masturbated to a few years ago. They described it as some sort of manipulated art of women to look like children and I think it was sexual in nature? Apparently it was by someone named Lee Warner. I tried to keep an open mind and give them some encouragement to go to therapy/try meds/reminders that mistakes happen and don't always mean something/etc. I also can't relate to these worries so I was struggling with knowing what to say and kept encouraging taking this all to a therapist and that they were probably okay. The main thing that made me already tense was the fact that they sent me a link of it, which I chose to not open because A. this was a stranger so who knows what could've technically been linked and B. I don't want to see the photos he was describing for obvious reasons.
But then suddenly I realized this could be illegal. I know nothing about the laws in the US surrounding manipulated photos to look like children, as I've never really heard of that until today. I tried googling this "artist's" name, found absolutely nothing, and I immediately started panicking that this person may be banned from even being google-able in the US? This made me freak out even more and I again asked the person messaging me (who is located in Europe) if they were certain whatever they linked was legal, and they admitted to NOT KNOWING. I got so upset and scared that I told them this convo needs to end now and blocked them. I stupidly assumed at first that this must be just some weird fetish art or something and that's why I carried a bit of conversation in the first place. Again I've never heard of this before.
Does anyone know anything about this artist? I doubt it, but could I get in trouble for getting a link to something like this sent to me? Again, I absolutely did not click on it, and did not ask for it, but I'm just so scared. What are the laws around stuff like this in the US?
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OCD
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I have been diagnosed for OCD for a while ago and I'm right now on meds, which has helped a lot. My problem is that I don't still think that I have OCD because I don't know anymore why I do my compulsions, there isn't certain fear that something will happen. But oh boy, I still keep doing them.
Clean my web history, make sure that I have certain number of apps in my phone and that those are in right order, install and uninstall games without actually playing them for whatever reasons, make sure my social media is "right". Make sure that things feel....right, I can't explain feeling any better, but I think people here understands. I sometimes (before meds more often) get sudden urges, like what if I stab this knife to my friends back. If I suddenly get though that my Reddit avatar feels "wrong" I can't shake feeling until I change it to "right". I have started games where you can create your character multiple times, because skin is little bit too dark or name feels wrong. Specially making sure that my web history is clean takes so much time from my day. Also cleaning all the time....
When I explained this to my therapist, that I do these things to reduce anxiety, they right away think it's OCD. Is it? Can anyone relate? Have I numbted myself to my compulsions that I just do them as ritual to reduxe my everyday anxiety. I just want to sit down and be able to just relax and enjoy moment, but with this head I don't think it's ever going to be possible. I always feel like I'm in hurry to go do something, even tho I'm not. :/
If you are still reading, thanks for your time.
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OCD
|
I had some really dark disgusting thoughts while masterbating when I was around 10-13. I never thought about how horrible and evil they were until now. I know I didn't do anything to harm anyone but remembering these thoughts about 2 months ago has made me suicidal. I dont think these thoughts anymore and am deeply shamed and disgusted with myself.
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OCD
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I recently had a gf and I was happy with her and everything. But my depression does not go away. I still wanna sleep and don't wake up. I wanna end the mental pain I am into. I feel hopeless and all.
My mind is screaming for help rn idk where to run to
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depression
|
I’m already feeling so anxious about it. I can barely handle cleaning myself down there, let alone the super thorough exam I know they’re going to have to do. I can’t even avoid it, because an ovarian cyst put me in the ER for an afternoon and this is my follow up. My mom has told me a little about how uncomfortable it is, and a little bit about what to expect, but she doesn’t believe my traumas happened to me. I’m so scared about what’s going to happen tomorrow I can barely breathe. Does anyone have any tips for a young sexual assault survivor at the gynecologist? Any help you guys could give is so appreciated. Thank you so much
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ptsd
|
So, yesterday in class, I had to give a short presentation and it was pretty hard. At the end, a student complained about me laughing a lot in the middle of it and the thing is, I had no idea I was doing that. And now that I'm thinking about it, nervous laughter is just something that I do a lot and I can't really control it. I'm also remembering countless times I've been scolded for it in school, or times I've done it in serious situations unintentionally and made a fool of myself. Any ideas on how to control this trait of mine? I can only think of actively paying attention to every single thing I do/say and refraining from laughing, but that seems like an impossible thing to do.
|
ADHD
|
I hate people. I’ve always hated people.
When I was a fucking infant in a pram apparently I used to pretend I was asleep every time someone tried to talk to me because I didn’t want to interact with them.
I’ve been struggling for so long to find where I fit in this world, trying to figure out why I can’t connect with people the way everyone else seems to, why it was so easy for me to ditch my parents, my family, and everyone else I got sick of being around. I felt like I was broken because everyone told me it’s unhealthy to not want to connect with people, not want attachments to anyone. But I’m not broken. They just want me to feel like that because it doesn’t suit them to see someone be just fine without them, without anyone. Cause they don’t get it. They don’t get me and they never will. My Brian doesn’t fucking work like theirs and trying to explain myself to them is like trying to explain colour to a blind person.
I don’t do shit for other people now. I do shit for me. And I’m not letting anyone try to pin me down into some worthless attachment that always ends badly ever again.
No one is ever gonna make me feel broken for that ever again, I don’t give a shit what anyone says and it feels fucking good to know that.
|
ptsd
|
Nearly all of my friend group has left the country for good, 2 of the best friends I’ve ever had are thousands of miles away and because of the pandemic I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye and haven’t seen them in nearly 2 years. It is absolute torture and makes me feel like the last 6 years of high school I spent with them means less and less as time goes on. I loved these guys like family and they are half the reason I’m still here to type this. Now I’m just stuck here and feel abandoned by the people I loved the most, I know they didn’t choose to abandon me but I can’t help the feeling that I’m trapped while they moved on and now I feel like I’m left with nothing. As the days tick by more and more of my friends are planning to leave and I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore.
|
depression
|
I'm not suicidal, I just hate life, and being alive so much it often hurts how much I wish I could just die...
But it's like something is keeping me from completely falling to the bottom of this bottomless pit.
I don't even know what it is, but it's like with every passing day, it gets thinner and thinner, and honestly it feels so close to snapping.
I hope it does, so I can just end it already
|
depression
|
An uncommon but persistent attitude I've seen on these boards is that we, by dint of having Aspergers/Autism are made somehow immune or resistant to things like forms of bigotry, or 'gossiping', or being emotional or petty or whatever else the flaw being discussed is. It's...kinda disturbing and harmful. When someone thinks of themselves as 'above (insert flaw here)' that just makes them unable to see it in themselves.
I have Aspergers/Autism. I also live in social dynamics that affect how I see people not like me, and as a result I can be bigoted. I try to be aware of when I am, and always try to be better than that. But my Aspergers/Autism is no shield against it. We are just as susceptible to social pressures and being part of bad systems. None of us are immune to propaganda.
I have Aspergers/Autism. I also have a mind full of chemicals and neurons and the like that form emotions and emotional connections. I may think that 'I'm more logical than others', but that's just hubris talking. I can get angrier than others, or happier, or whatnot, depending on the stimulus. Just as everyone else has their moments of being more or less emotional than others. My Aspergers/Autism is no shield against emotions. Aspergers/Autism has no monopoly on being 'logical.' Most logic is heavily dependent on what a given social group determines is logical.
A lot of the hubris around Aspergers/Autism being 'better than' others seems to stem from some effort to try and flip bad experiences with so called 'Neurotypicals.' And I understand the desire too. 'Little do they know that the thing they mock is actually what makes me better!' It's a fantasy of sorts I think. But one with unfortunate consequences.
It presumes that people who appear to be different than us are not Aspergeric/Autistic, which is a rather rash generalization because psst: Not everyone manifests their Aspergers/Autism in the same way. Someone can be very socially adept and know how to 'gossip' and such...but that doesn't mean they don't have Aspergers/Autism and are 'Neurotypical.'
It also presumes that people without Aspergers/Autism are 'Neurotypical.' It ignores the VAST amount of other mental issues, illnesses, or whatever you wish to call them that make someone 'Neuroatypical.' Schizophrenia, depression, ADD, anxiety, Bipolar disorder, OCD and so many other things that people have that they struggle with all the time. Many of us have those too; they aren't mutually exclusive.
It also presumes that people who are 'neurotypical' (ugh I hate that word. Makes me feel arrogant just typing it) are all the same and not individuals with their own struggles. I know that they probably don't struggle in the same way or to the same degree in some areas, but they have their own issues. Why judge them so much for things like 'gossiping'? So many of the things that I see 'Neurotypicals' mocked for are vague enough to just be applied to whatever act one wants to feel superior to. "Gossipping" for instance I've seen the gamut of 'Talking about things that aren't about SUPER DEEP TOPICS like physics or souls' to 'Sharing an in joke that one didn't understand.'
It's understandable to be frustrated by so many things in social life. I'm constantly trying to keep up with things my friends do and say (most of them aren't 'Neurotypical' even though they don't have Aspergers/Autism). But I am in no way superior to them because I think differently.
|
aspergers
|
Now, I know internet points don't matter. But is anyone else perplexed at what people do and don't jump on and downvote? Has anyone noticed a pattern in people's tendencies? I can never piece together the likelihood. I know it seems like I care personally but what I actually care about is that I cannot find a commonality or pattern between posts people choose to downvote versus ones they don't. Like, one time I commented on a post about how cute a dog was, as many others had in variable ways, and mine got downvoted. There are obvious negative or mean comments that get downvoted but mine that get multiple downvotes never make sense to me as they aren't negative or mean but lighthearted. I suppose I should just let it go but I can't identify a pattern unless the pattern simply is whimsical chaos.
|
aspergers
|
I think I’ve finally lost it. I’m drained I’m tired I’m done. I want to die. I want to so bad. I made my mom and dad cry because I was screaming saying I can’t take it anymore. I packed bags and went to the airport. I just bought a flight to no where. I am running and running. I don’t wanna look in the mirror and face myself anymore. What is running going to do.
I’m 28. I worked so hard to overcome self medicating (addiction) and depression. I put myself thru college even if it took me 10 years. Now that it’s over I want to be in a casket. I did it to make my mom proud. And to have a stable life. But I can’t keep fighting this demon called depression. I am angry with god. I tried to be righteous I tried to not be apart of this generation and narcissistic culture. I never cheated. I help poor ppl when I can. I can’t see ppl cold and hungry, even if it’s just one person. I answered every single phone call from friends. I never made anyone feel I didn’t love them.
Why does it have to be this way. I want to return to the ground. I’m sick of my family saying I need to change or have more faith or I put myself thru this. I don’t think anyone with the demon wants to go thru this. Please stop adding more guilt to my spirit by telling me to not kill myself cuz it’s gonna kill them. I’m tired. I don’t feel loved. It’s my birthday and no one called. I got hit on all night long and I’m lonely and struggling every day. I’m in student loan debt and can’t get a job until I finish graduate school so I have to keep waitressing and doing odd jobs and renting my space just so I can pay the rent.
I’m tired and don’t know where to run and hide. Fuck I hate this. Why can’t I just be normal sad, and not my chest hurts, my spirit is broken, my temples burn, my dreams are multiple nightmares a night, I can’t lift my legs or open my eyes more than half way sad. Who made this a thing. Why god why
|
depression
|
Hi, I'm 19 years old and have been struggling with ocd for many years, it has worsened over the past few years. Have barely been able to leave to house and haven't been functional at all.
I was just wondering if anyone who is also going through this shit, perhaps for longer than I have may have some techniques that they've found to be useful against OCD?
|
OCD
|
Whenever I’m in public, I have this constant feeling that I smell bad. But I have good hygiene, I shower 1-2 times a day, wear deodorant, lotion and perfume. Everyday. But I absolutely hate being near people. All I can think of is that I smell bad, but I don’t know if I do or not because we can’t smell ourselves. But it’s an everyday, every minute, every second thing, only in public spaces. I can’t hug people sometimes bc I fear that I’m smelly. So then I’m afraid I come off as mean for not hugging somebody. I try to stay at a comfortable distance when talking to somebody, bc I feel like my breath smells. I brush often, and I brush my tongue and use mouthwash. Sometimes I’ll brush my tongue too hard and it’ll bleed. I don’t know what to do to combat this. :( if anything I get compliments that I smell good, but I just feel dirty, smelly, and gross even after I had just showered. I just can never feel clean. Does anybody else have this. What can I do to combat this
|
OCD
|
Is the feeling of doubt without even a thought an obsession?
|
OCD
|
So what I've got from this sub is: I'm not an NT (neurotypical I assume) because I'm an aspie, and all NTs should go burn or something.
I'm honestly just a little confused as to why a lot of people (and I've noticed it's the majority) say that NTs are just liers and cheaters that judge and hate anyone who isn't a NT.
But I thought NTs were just people. People that happen to be in the majority, and have their brains wired like most humans. The vast majority of people I've met are nice and don't judge me. I assume most of those people aren't autistic. So what gives? Unless I'm misunderstanding something, I don't see why NTs receive so much hate.
|
aspergers
|
I have been forgetting/ delaying it for maybe months. Finding a doctor who isn't expensive, is actually accepting adult adhd patients(most of them specialize on children and when you look for "adhd psychiatrist" you get results for children's hospitals), i mean every detail confused me even more. Everyday i woke up and said "today i'll make the appointment". But always gave up halfway because details confused me too much. I could not process all of it at once. Today i've decided to fuck it. I sat down, looked for free healthcare in my area, picked the doctor based on if i liked their name or not. But you know what? I made the appointment. It is on 15.12. Wish me luck
|
ADHD
|
Literally I'd rather never go anywhere
Oven checked a million times and a picture taken of it being off? Cool, I'll burn the building down and will owe millions in damages
Taps off by pressing down with my elbow so that I couldn't have possibly left it on with my fingers, and checking 20 more times? Nice, it will now be running for 2 weeks straight and I'll have thousands in water bills, and I will probably cause a flood, and owe a 100k in water damage
Fridge is still plugged in? It's old - a spark will catch fire and burn the house down. Millions out of my pocket again
I could go on forever
Fuck leaving the house when there's nobody who can check it after me
|
OCD
|
Hi, sorry if this sounds in anyway offensive, but I am not diagnosed with OCD and I do not have symptoms of it right now (even if I struggle with other things). But when I was a kid I used to have these very intrusive thoughts that made me do things in a repetitive way. I clearly remember the NEED to do things 3 times or I really thought something bad would happen to me or my family. I always did it, even if sometimes my parents found it strange and scolded me. Then I remember well that when I went to bed I was always saying my family that I loved them a lot of times, really a lot, because I was afraid that they would have died while I was sleeping and that I would never be able to see them again. I was always very scared of these thoughts and they were quite frustrating, but now my family remembers it laughing and making fun of those things. Looking at that moment now tho, that I am going to therapy because of the diagnose of depression, panic and anxiety disorder and some childhood traumas, I wonder if maybe I had OCD but my parents did not figure it out like they didn't with my depression before two years ago. What do you think? Was it possible that I had OCD and then it stopped on its own?
|
OCD
|
How do you guys deal with the night terrors? They keep coming back and I don't know how to make them stop. Then I'm stuck thinking about it all day, on the verge of panic attacks the whole day unless I am continuously stimulating/distracting myself. I can't relax and I just get worried about going back to bed. Any help dealing with the recurring night terrors?
|
ptsd
|
When I was diagnosed with PTSD, during most of my treatment I was relieved to have explanations for the strange fears and behaviors that had been controlling my life for years. I focused on getting rid of the FEAR, and in many ways, the treatment worked. I'm much better at dealing with triggers now.
But, I've started to notice that there are other lingering emotions and feelings that were caused by my trauma. They are less obvious than "fear," but they are present nonetheless. Does anyone else relate, and do other feelings from your trauma resurface over time? I'm starting to wonder if I need to go to therapy again to deal with all of these secondary feelings that have been popping up.
My trauma makes me feel:
\- Gross
\- Uncomfortable
\- Stupid (how am I in this situation)
\- Guilty (why am I not stopping this situation)
\- Sad
\- Depressed (there's nothing I can do to change this)
\- Trapped
\- Nauseous (I can't believe this is happening)
\- Blame (this is my fault, I willingly entered this situation)
\- Weak (I'm a victim now, I didn't think I was the kind of person to be in these situations)
\- Confused (how did this come into my life which was going so well?)
|
ptsd
|
Wondering if anyone can share some tips that have helped them with assignments in university. I’ve been trying to write a paper for three days now but it’s just not happening. My brain flows for a bit and I get some writing done but then I get stuck and lose interest. I am behind on multiple papers so any advice would be really appreciated :)
|
ADHD
|
Does anyone feel like everything is just too hard? Some days it’s really easy to just be at peace with being different and being comfortable but then everything just completely overwhelms you and you realise how shit it is to find everything so difficult. It’s not even that I don’t know it’s ok to be different it’s just that I really don’t want to be cause things would be easier.
Not sure the flair is exactly what I’m after just needed to share really..
|
ADHD
|
Please, please stop asking if I’m okay, or how I’m doing. I understand that you just want to check on me, but it hurts so bad to say I’m fine, when inside I’m just destroying myself over and over again. I can’t even look into your eyes, because I’m scared you’ll see the fear and all the emotions I’ve bottled up inside.
Don’t ask how my day was, it was miserable.
Don’t ask what I’m doing during my free time, or my birthday, or the holidays, because I’ll just be in bed hating myself.
I’m so sorry, I don’t want to be rude, but I just can’t take it anymore.
|
depression
|
I'm a 17 year old male who's had his fair share of life problems and especially traumas. I wont get into all of them because there's certain people who know about my account that I'd rather not have know specifics. One of the most traumatic things was the suicide of a best friend online a few months back.
I'm part of the reason for their death and that eats at me every moment of my life. I get flashbacks to our conversations, so many simple things trigger outbursts that it's just getting debilitating sometimes. I just cant escape that moment, I've self harmed a lot in the past and recent, but even that triggers it sometimes. I feel just trapped, like I'm constantly terrified of the what ifs to the point where entire days are spent in states of panic and despair. What if one of my friends harms, what if my girlfriend harms again, what if I cant stop them, what if I loss someone else. I dont think I could manage losing another one, I have so much guilt and fear from the last time, another would push me over the edge.
I also had a previous obsession with a girl I knew. She never cared for me at all and that drove me mad. For clarification I never stalked her or made creepy advances towards her or anything. I just felt a connection with her that I have only had with one other person in my life.
My family doesnt know because I doubt they'd ever believe me and say I just have some form of depression. I do have depression but this isnt like that, this feels.... deeper. Like a pit I keep sinking into, a downwards spiral that I cant escape from. The only thing I look forward to is getting to see the love of my life in person come Autumn. But I'm convinced that wont end up happening, that she'll die before that, she'll resent me before that and wont want anything to do with me, or that we'll just drift away and lose interest, rather she'll lose interest in me. Shes one of the best things I have in my life and it would wreck me to have her leave too like a lot of others did.
I'm rambling now, I'll just stop here I'm getting annoyed at myself for talking.
Anyways yeah, that's a bit of what I wanted to say.
|
ptsd
|
Whether it’s deciding what to have to dinner or deciding what career path to go down I absolutely cannot make decisions - I will spend endless amount of time weighing up the options and ultimately getting nowhere.
Eventually life makes the decision for me and it’s usually not in my best interest.
Do most people just go with their first instinct or do they just not think as thoroughly or dwell on regrets less? I might need to start flipping a coin
|
ADHD
|
One time in school someone helped me open my locker and I got hand sanitizer after and rn my mind is saying I got it after because he was black. Also today someone handed me a wipe to wipe down my desk and I hesitated for a split second and my mind is saying it's because they were black. It seems like I only see race. I don't know if its my.ocd or if I'm racist. I feel terrible.
|
OCD
|
We share zero interests.
We can talk about my life, but I have zero friends and have nothing going on.
We can talk about your life, but a happy, fulfilling existence surrounded by loving people is completely foreign to me.
We can talk about my job, but my job is pure torture and it upsets me to talk about it.
Yes, I did get a degree, thanks for reminding me.
No, I didn't get a job in my field so I had to settle for one where I'm severely underpaid and over qualified for.
Yup, it's awkward now. Time for each of us to stare at the floor until one of us fakes a reason for needing to leave.
You'll shuffle over to someone else that you find easier to make conversation with.
I will crawl back to the dark cave I emerged from, wondering why I bothered trying to make things better again.
Once again, making an effort didn't pay off. Story of my life.
I should have locked myself away in my dark, tortured mind.
I should have hidden away in a corner, but I chose to torture both you and me.
I'm sorry. It's entirely my fault.
I won't do it again.
|
depression
|
Lately, I've felt like I'm being more impulsive with... everything, especially money.
I've been spending as if there is no tomorrow, buying shit I don't need, I've been either eating a lot or eating barely enough, I've had to held myself back from saying that I am definitely killing myself someday, I am... turning into a weird person ?
Idk if it is because I know how I'm going to try kms, if it is because I can't think about the future (since I don't really want to live even a week more), but it feels like sometimes I'm crossing a line, behavior wise. I feel like I'm crossing my own limits and idk what to do
|
depression
|
Anyone ever start involuntarily spelling out words really fast in their head when they are stressed?
|
OCD
|
Anyone used to struggle to make it on time to classes. I’m not sure if this is anxiety or avoidant symptom.
I felt so uncomfortable in the crowds and used to get harassed in college. I know this sound irrational but I would look many times through the windows before leaving my home. I will hesitate to reach to the door and overthink what might happen if I leave and fix my appearance several times because I was worried about harassment.
I often fall asleep in class due to the low quality of sleep.
Anyone else had the same issue?
|
ptsd
|
Currently I'm on Seroquel and like, it works great for that! I never have any bad dreams, no sleep paralysis, no hallucinations (I suffer from Auditory hallucinations) but the downside is I need a certain amount of sleep or else I'm SUPER tranqulized to a scary amount, it makes waking up early so hard, to the point where I tend to rely on alcohol if it's a long night and then early morning type of thing.. It's really hard on me, but I'm so reliant on it.
|
ptsd
|
It’s 5pm but I can’t stay awake any longer
Everything fucking hurts and I feel sick
I don’t want to be here anymore
Everything hurts
|
depression
|
So before I just jump into why I think I have OCD, I’m gonna give a little background about my mental health.
I’m 21, female and I am currently diagnosed with GAD and MDD, anxiety and depression in “simple terms”. I also see a therapist and will be mentioning my concerns to her as well.
Getting into the OCD stuff, the earliest I remember doing something that I’ve heard to be OCD is when I was 11/12. It was in the middle of the time my sister was going through cancer treatments and stuff which probably plays a role.
-Any time I would post something on Instagram I would have to use certain emojis in the same exact order every single time. The emojis consisted of two parent emojis, emojis representing my sisters, my grandma and my pets. If I didn’t use them, I thought something bad would happen to me or my family so I kept doing until eventually I moved on to something else.
-When I was around 13, I started using “! :) <3” at the end of writing my name. Once again I felt like if I didn’t do it then I thought something would happen. I used those for a few years until I started on something new.
-I would have to drink water in a specific way before I went to sleep at night, for instance I would have to sip 3 times then swallow, sip 2 times then swallow then sip 1 time then swallow. Weird I know. That went on from like 16 to 20 on and off I’m not too sure. I also have to look at a certain place on the fridge when I do this. Mainly because it feels uneven if I don’t.
-When I made a glass of water to drink I would pretty much always have to put ice cubes in it a certain way. It would be similar to how I drank water, in incriminates. I would grab 3 at a time and say 3 then grab three more one at a time and count 1,2,3, equaling 6 ice cubes. I have done this for like 2 years.
-When I hang my stuff in my closet, I literally have a specific order everything i in. Especially my T-shirt. Those are color coded from lightest color to dark.
-Before I go to sleep I pray at night, I use to just say something different each night but now I feel like I have to say something specific- so I do. If I don’t then I have to completely start over. It annoys me most because praying should be calming and a nice time but it stresses me at times because of all that.
Some other things to mention are the intrusive thoughts, they used to be very bad but my lexapro I think helped but I still have some. Mainly harm and sexual intrusive thoughts. Which is annoying and makes me feel gross.
I literally have to wash my hands the moment I can if I touch anything that has a smell that is abnormal. Hand sanitizer does not cut it for me, I use it but I feel like it still doesn’t do anything. I feel gross after touching the most simple things, especially if it’s someone else’s. I religiously wash my phone with an alcohol wipe after it gets laid down somewhere.
Those are the main ones that bother me on a daily basis but not enough to cause like a panic attack or anything so it’s confusing.
My main thoughts when I am doing this stuff is I have to do it or someone or myself are gonna die or something less severe sometimes AND/OR that it just feels uneven.
I know that was pretty long but it’s been bothering me lately and I feel like it’s definitely not normal. Any feedback would be appreciated :)))
|
OCD
|
Now that I think about it, computers, and physics were my special interest. Like I remember reading so many books about them and watching hundreds of hours of documentaries and reading countless Wikipedia articles about them.It was just so ingrained I didn't even think it could be a special interest. Thought that was normal and was baffled when I met people who didn't know much about computers.I've been coding since I was little and blew through physics until the math became too hard to study on my own, although I can't wait to take Physics net year in college!
|
aspergers
|
Was raped December 2018. A year later, I was experiencing stress that was enough to interfere with my job (I would have panic attacks at work- I'm a teacher), I didn't go to work sometimes because I was so anxious and stressed that I couldn't physically move, I would have panic attacks every day after school - once it was bad enough I called 911 because I thought I was actually about to die BECAUSE of how bad the panic attacks were affecting my daily heart health, etc.
I was not ever diagnosed with anything. I kinda quit therapy and said "okay I feel better thanks." Because I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I did so much self growth. I wrote down what happened, every single detail. I've come to 'accept' this happened.
Then the pandemic came and luckily I was prepared (followed the coronavirus since an AI detected it in Decemeber 2019). I definitely have taken advantage of this time to heal. I feel better and I'm behaving better around people. My boyfriend even said I looked happier!
However, now with work around the corner I'm afraid to go back. No, it's not because of the pandemic. I'm not afraid because my job is taking such extreme precautions and I feel safe. I'm afraid because I don't know if I'll be able to withold the stress from going back to the job. I would have panic attacks every day after work for months, even during/after therapy. I don't want to have daily panic attacks. I think this thought triggered me to start having more intrusive thoughts about what happened.
Today my boyfriend was wrestling with me and extremely gently bumped me to the ground and when he left I broke down because I had a flashback as he did that. And he did it so gently because he's an atheltic person so he's really good at understanding his strength. He doesn't know that I've been struggling; he was the one who suggested therapy in the past. But he also possibly struggled in his past so I don't want him to know that I'm having symptoms because i don't want to make him sad.
And now I'm having panic attacks about possibly having to live through panic attacks again.
And I just wanna be strong for my family. I will not dare to be a burden on my family.
|
ptsd
|
>Subthreshold and threshold post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are associated with binge eating symptoms in both men and women, according to a study published in The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry.
>
>“Similar to drugs and alcohol, binge eating may be used as a strategy to alleviate distressing symptoms of PTSD,” researchers wrote.
>
>...
>
>Among men who witnessed trauma, combat-related trauma was linked with fewer binge eating symptoms, the study found. Conversely, among women who witnessed trauma, child maltreatment was associated with more binge eating symptoms.
>
>Researchers also reported negative conditions and mood symptoms were associated with a greater number of binge eating symptoms.
[Psychiatry and Behavioral Health Learning Network](https://www.psychcongress.com/article/ptsd-associated-binge-eating-symptoms-men-and-women)
******
Orignal Study:
Braun, J., El-Gabalawy, R., Sommer, J. L., Pietrzak, R. H., Mitchell, K., & Mota, N. (2019). [Trauma Exposure, DSM-5 Posttraumatic Stress, and Binge Eating Symptoms](https://www.psychiatrist.com/JCP/article/Pages/2019/v80/19m12813.aspx). The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 80(6). https://doi.org/10.4088/jcp.19m12813
|
ptsd
|
When I do assignments or study for classes like math or science, I generally do not have that bad of a time getting started. However, I struggle with subjects like English or history. Whenever I try to do work for these classes, I end up putting it off or getting distracted. What can I do to improve my work ethic?
|
ADHD
|
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