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Hey y'all! Does anyone know of a way to watch things that have certain things censored? I want to watch Game of Thrones but without the sex scenes is it possible or should I just suffer ignorance?
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ptsd
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I had a check up with my psychologist this week and she begged me to at least take my baby dose of ambilify to help with the intrusive thoughts. I want to, but I can’t bring myself to do it.
I think there’s a part of me holding out to see if maybe it just goes away one day on its own even though logically this will not happen. I’m tired of suffering but I am scared to take my medication. I feel like taking the ambilify is giving into the the fact that I am a crazy person.
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OCD
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So I work a job where I have 12 hour shifts from 18:00 to 06:00. I also have been, for lack of a better way of saying this, getting dumber over the years and not thinking as fast as I did in elementary school where I was an advanced kid. I keep having to fight dozens of thoughts at once unless I get a random surge of focus to achieve one specific task. My grades started dropping lower and lower from the end of 5th grade until I graduated high school. My saving grace that let me graduate was AP history classes, band, jazz band, and music theory. Feeling stupid, I went and enlisted in the army as a 12B (stupid since my GT score is 119), met my lovely spouse who does their best to help me, deployed to Afghanistan, and got out when the pandemic hit. This led to me getting this dead end dispatch job I currently sit at out of desperation. A job I hate so much, I'd rather be back in the army on deployment. I have a backlog of things I need to do going back to enlisting in the army, and as life does, I keep having things tacked on top of it. I, unfortunately, hit a wall every time I try to go to the VA to start the process of getting into the system, and end up being unable to complete it. I know I need help from a brain doctor, be it therapy or medication or both, but I keep having issues starting the process of getting that help. My spouse is a teacher who specializes in SPED, and has said on multiple occasions that they think I have ADHD and should get tested. Does anyone have any resources that can help me start this process of getting checked out. I'm tired of feeling dumb. I'm tired of fighting my own thoughts. I'm tired of this job I have that leaves me drained. I just need help finding the first step so I can at least start a plan to change careers and get through the VA. If anyone has any resources that can help, be it a phone number or website, can you please let me know about it?
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ADHD
|
Hi there!
Since I've been lately diagnosed and I am definitely not a stereotype, I've developed an obsession over quirks and uncommon autistic traits: because it's interesting and because I want to understand better.
So ... What are your weirdest traits and quirks?
For example: I still sleep with a teddy bear (I'm 23), I need the blankets to be tight when I sleep, I like small places and I used to hide under my bed when I was little.
Once I asked to my older sister if I could date multiple people and then chose.
And things like that
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aspergers
|
i am in the process of moving out of state and need a new job. i cannot seem to get an interview in my career field, but i'm getting plenty with retail/customer service.
the problem is... all of these companies have terrible ethics. whether its the way they treat employees, or their ecological footprint, or the types of products they make and how they make them— i find it hard to want to work for them.
my moral ocd is pretty severe, but i need money. i'm also afraid that even if i "get over" scrupulosity ocd, i'm still going to feel like crap for making money for these awful companies.
what would you do?
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OCD
|
I suffered for years on and off, randomly going away and coming back to bite me in the ass when my life was getting better.
I stumbled upon ERP for pure o OCD and never looked back since. I took no medication and did not go to therapy ( unaccepting family and being 14-17). I managed to get back to recovery and feel no anxiety in my day to day life related to OCD.
I always thought my thoughts were real… ALWAYS! That’s the whole point of the illness guys. One day after successful methods to recovery( therapy, ERP, acceptance medication) you will finally feel like it was all bullshit.
The key is consistency, you have to do it on the days you don’t want to - those count the most.
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OCD
|
hi.. i have pocd (diagnosed with ocd)
basically now everything seems to trigger me. certain words trigger me so i have to rewrite them even if they’re not related to being a p*do. i couldn’t even use certain EMOJIS because i was scared they’d make me a p*do. i can’t read certain articles or like tweets or do ANYTHING. i’m fucking paralyzed by own my brain, i can’t even do the things i enjoy like reading about history anymore because everything triggers me
i’m always on edge and my brain is starting to associate the weirdest shit together to the point i never feel safe. i changed my style of speaking and i don’t like having full conversations anymore because even words trigger intrusive thoughts and feelings. i’ve pushed people away because i’m so scared of myself and afraid i’m hurting them too.
i have had ocd themes which had magical thinking elements and then also incest and contamination ocd, and also even as a little kid i had ocd related fears about being harassed. this disease is horrible and i wouldn’t wish it upon anyone
-
i was talking to my friend about something and i typed “oh well for the sake of their agenda they need to act like they came up with every (good) thing” (about something irrelevant) and then at the back of my mind i was worrying about pedophilia and the thought jumped out. obviously i don’t think being a p*do or p*dophilia is good, although i think i was ruminating about everything including p*dophilia before i had the thought. idk.
i know, it’s so stupid. i wasn’t even considering p*dophilia as good but the thought randomly jumped out probably due to rumination. i shouldn’t ask for reassurance and the thought startled me bc i absolutely don’t think it’s good.
i feel like i am trapped in this disturbing thought loop and i’m trying so hard to get out. i understand a random thought doesn’t define me especially because i had a negative reaction to it but it’s unsettling. it’s difficult and i guess i need to learn acknowledge that sometimes we have negative thoughts that just... pop up and the more i worry the more i start associating everything with my fears.
if i feel happy, i worry i’m faking my ocd and i just ruin every single moment out of the idea that i don’t deserve happiness because i’m secretly a p*do. i have no attraction to kids, and although i’ve experienced false attraction i can at least be satisfied in knowing i have controls of my ACTIONS. however i still get really uncomfortable
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OCD
|
I have no idea what is going on, or if it is even a symptom of ADHD but I am having such a hard time. I have things I enjoy doing such a making beats, or learning the guitar, or making coffee, and this past month I am struggling with all of them. And for a season of my life, struggling was something that felt like I could improve. But this past week especially everytime I struggle or have an issue I throw an absolute fit. I feel like I am a child again and I do not know what in the world is wrong with me.
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ADHD
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I’m having a really hard time giving myself enough credit where credit is due. For instance, meal prepping. If you would’ve asked me this time last year that I would’ve loved to meal prep, I would have laughed at you. And for another task like stretching; I normally don’t stretch, burn now I’m starting to stretch twice a day now. I’m so hard on myself, when I don’t need to be. I hunk it’s because of my physical disability and I want to show other ppl that I can do both mental and physically hard tasks. ADHD is just one of my mental disabilities; PTSD, depression, and anxiety are my other co-morbidities with my mind. I struggle every day with them and I don’t give myself enough credit for just getting through another day. How do you give yourself enough credit, even if you don’t want to? 🤔☺️
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ADHD
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What do prople mean when they brand someone as 'shaky' & tell them to become ' forward' nature?
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aspergers
|
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judge_Rotenberg_Educational_Center
How has this place not been shut down?
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aspergers
|
I have been unemployed for quite awhile now. Quit my last job. I struggle with holding a job, any job. Even if its super chill and you sit around all day, I'd rather just not work at all so I end up quitting, plus I always want to be alone.
I'm 23 and need to start getting my life together but I just can't search for jobs without wanting to kill myself. Like what's the point? I don't do anything with the money except buy alcohol. Among many other issues this really gets to me.
At this point I'm scared. I'm starting to spiral again. I'm doing nothing with my life, its going nowhere and I'm just stalled. No dreams, passions, drive. No purpose. I stay home all day in my room. No friends and don't really want any. Single and will probably be forever. I'm a loser.
Even if I get a job, what do I do? I don't want anything. Travelling is pointless when I can look at a damn photo. Buying things is stupid, I don't care for them. I enjoy liquor and that's about it.
I just hate myself and life so much. Nothing is fun or enjoyable. I really don't know why I'm still here. Hate this so much, never asked to be born!
I don't know what to do anymore. I'm too unmotivated about everything to work or care anymore about myself.
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depression
|
I just recently started having a reaction when I go into panic attacks. It’s literal screaming for 5-15 minutes. It sounds like someone is being murdered. My boyfriend had to shut the door when this happened because it literally did sound like something like that. This has happened to me twice now. I feel like there is a lot more to go.
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ptsd
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I recently came back home. I stood there, on a bridge, I wanted to jump, I wanted to end it all.
I just couldn't. My body was stiff and I couldn't breathe.
I wanted to jump. My body didn't let me.
No passer bys gave a fuck. Why didn't I?
Fuck, even after all that, my gf just beradet me, saying I was selfish and how it was neither funny nor could I so/was auch things to her. And If I knew how that made her feel.
Fuck, I'm auch a pussy for not jumping.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
She doesn't give a fuck, my parents don't give a fuck, nobody does. Of course, with me you can do anything. You can mistreat me however you like and after that just guilt trip me into being a stupid obidient little fucker.
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depression
|
Hi everyone,
Meditation and mindfulness has for me been a huge help for my ptsd/healing from trauma as well as being (in the beginning) a big trigger. Sitting still with your thoughts when you have ptsd can trigger even more and make you uncover pain you didn't know you had. However, it is often also recommended as a coping strategy. I did some research in my journey and I just wanted to share the resources I found that helped me a lot and share other resources and experiences with other ones going through similar processes. I feel still very alone in my experience and I thought this would be nice as well as able to help others.
- This is a mindfulness teacher who focusses on mindfulness and trauma. He has both a book, free webinars and a podcast. He does podcasts often and with other people focussed on this topic: https://davidtreleaven.com/
- I very much like Tara Brach, due to her calming voice and views. She has some particular talks on trauma:
https://www.tarabrach.com/working-with-trauma/
https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-and-healing-trauma/
https://www.tarabrach.com/healing-trauma/
here is an overview: https://www.tarabrach.com/fear
- a talk Sam Harris did with the first guy (subscription only but you can apply for a subscription if you dont have the funds): https://samharris.org/subscriber-extras/waking-course-meditation-trauma/
- Joseph Goldstein on working with fear (less focussed on trauma): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azakYcmJ_5c
I am really curious if this is something other people have experiences with and if you have resources.
An important disclaimer: please remember that mindfulness and meditation practices are not a substitute for therapy. Remember you need to try an array of methods that work for you and therapy is very very important. Be careful to not go too far and know your own limits when doing mindfulness-based "inwards" exercises if you have ptsd, for me it has led to some gnarly situations.
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ptsd
|
POCD trigger ⚠️
Should I tell my sister so she can decide ? Years ago when I was about 18 something happened that triggered me. Being a Christian homosexuality was something I was sooo afraid my family members would be. So I think my anxiety focused in on that. When my niece was about 2-3 she kept giving me kisses. Now I had always given my nieces pecks on the lips even though my sister didn’t like it but I didn’t care because they were like my babies. Anyways one day my niece KEPT giving me kisses to the point I felt embarrassed in front of company. Idk why. Before my nieces left a thought popped into my mind WHAT IF my niece is gay or something. (Soooo stupid I know and this was well over a decade ago ) so in my mind I was going to test to see if she would jump all over me like earlier. I gave her a peck on the lips like normal and looked at her. She looked away. I did it about 2 more times and said are you okay? She said yes but looked annoyed and eager to leave with her dad. Afterward I felt awful and even BELIEVED she seemed different when I would talk to her on the phone. For years I’ve felt like I violated her and this considered me a pedophile. I’ve told a few people this story snd they think I’m crazy for thinking I violated her. I know it was sooo stupid to “test” her. My logical thinking wasn’t kicking in clearly. Should I tell my sister what happened ? Am I a monster v
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OCD
|
So I really do not know what to do, I have been in a very tumultuous relationship for close to 3 years. I have adhd with impulse control issues and the strain of what has been happening has brought out the worst parts of me. Verbally and emotionally abused the woman I love let pain became fear and then evil. Went to her home without consent.
She was diagnosed as bipolar 2 about 5 years ago. But as our relationship imploded in the last few weeks found out she is not she is autistic. My behavior has made her scared of me and has cut me out. I do not blame or feeling scared I am scared of me. I never hit or raised a hand but the anger the verbal and emotionally cruel things I said were evil.
She is extremely fragile due to processing her diagnosis and what triggered her finding out.
I am in weekly therapy going on week 5. Lowered my meds 56mg concerta to 36mg feel a little calmer and am exercising. We had two weeks apart she reached out after reading a letter I gave a friend but before we could make it to relationship counselling together to give her a safe space to talk I snapped and became abusive again. It almost feels out of body when it happens the things I am txting or saying or doing like driving to her. At this time if I contact her she will get a restraining order. She still loves me but is scared of me.
Does anyone have experience being impulsively emotionally abusive and successfully changing the patterns to stop. I was hurt from things she did I had a right to be hurt about but It doesn't make it okay to be abusive in retaliation. If I had kept it together for 3 days we would have spoken in a safe space.
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ADHD
|
I had my C&P exam on 4/21 and the Dr. submitted my DBQ the next day on 4/22. Yesterday, 4/23, my VSO reviewed my results and said the Dr. checked the box in section 4 “total occupational and social impairment”. Down under the symptoms section, she did not check the boxes that are listed under the 100% rating (she checked many, but not those few that are listed under the symptoms found under 100%). However, she did describe in the notes my conditions which are very similar to the symptoms in the 100% rating and used some of the exact terminology. So, does this look promising for a 100% rating based on her checking the section 4 box and confirming my sever PTSD in her notes, or will the lack of “symptoms” checked later in the DBQ section “hurt” my rating or lesson it? Other than the symptoms she failed to check, all of the rest of the DBQ is very favorable. Any insight is greatly appreciated.
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ptsd
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Hi, this is my first time posting on here & Reddit in general. I have been a member of this group for at least a few months & it has been really nice to read all these posts that I can relate to and it helps me feel less alone.
I have decided to reach out for advice because I really struggle to make friends or even converse with others, especially people my age (19-21 age range). Even though it is very hard and sometimes terrifying for me to talk to people, I still have a strong desire to be more social and have friends that I can hang out with. I think I have always been socially awkward/ uncomfortable, since I was a kid, but it was probably in the last year that I truly realized how strong my social anxiety is & how it really affects me. Oh, I forgot to mention that I do have ADHD and that my anxiety just comes hand in hand with it, I’m not just posting here for no reason lol. Anyway, I really want to make friends and talk to people, but I barely have any opportunities because I don’t really know where to find them. As well as if I am presented with the opportunity, I feel like my words just get stuck in my throat and I feel so uncomfortable and a lot of people feel like I don’t want to talk to them or that I’m odd. Also, I have had a lot of friends in the past not really understand things about me like why my room gets messy 3 days after I clean it so they can’t come over today or how I could possibly “forget” to text them back if I truly cared about them. I feel like even if I thoroughly explain ADHD & Anxiety to people who have never experienced it, it will never make sense & they won’t fully understand just how much of a struggle mundane tasks are for me / how exhausted I get from not that much.
I really want to find ways to make friends (like what do you guys do or where do you go?) and I want to figure out ways that I can feel less tense and anxious about talking to others. I think part of the reason that it has felt harder in the past year to be comfortable in social situations is that I realized that not everyone wants to be friends or has positive intent and I cut out a lot of toxic people in my life. Another part is that a lot of my anxiety is overthinking EVERYTHING & my brain questioning everything (like, “why would they want to talk to you” or “why did you say that that sounds so stupid”) and I am so self aware to the point where I know that that is not true but I can’t seem to stop it.
So sorry, I am a bit of a rambler, but if you read all of that, thank you & please share any advice if you have any :,)
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ADHD
|
I was diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago and I was finally put on meds. I’m also on Wellbutrin which did seem to help my mood but none of my ADHD symptoms.
Anyways my dr put me on 20mg Vyvanse chewable (why chewable I don’t know) anyways I feel more depressed now than I did before and I feel no benefit at all from the Vyvanse. Just sad. Has anyone else had this experience? Should I keep going up on my dose? Should I ask to switch to Concerta?
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ADHD
|
For context, I am a mid twenties male living with several roommates who are my closest friends. I am posting on an anonymous account because people I know in really life know my main account.
I did not think that I had depression, but recently I have been stuck in a loop of reliving moments and beating myself up for what I said or did. I feel extremely intense guilt and shame over things that I know should not bother me to the extent that they do. To give an example, I said something mean to one of my close friends months ago. I was trying to make people laugh, but I was drunk and clearly wasn’t funny. Whenever I do something like that, it ruins the next week of my life, but it never used to. This inability to forgive myself came out of nowhere about 4 months ago. The guilt is crushing. It feels like every day I do something else and that becomes a new thing to feel guilt over. Again, it isn’t big things, it’s accidentally being rude, offending someone, not paying attention when someone was talking to me, anything. I relive these mistakes over and over, beating myself u.
Yesterday, I was drinking with my friends. I do not think that I did anything to embarrass myself, but today I feel overwhelming anxiety, stress, and depression. I cannot bring myself to face any of them. I don’t understand why I feel like this. In my head, they are all judging me and do not like me anymore. Having to look them in the eye feels like it would kill me, so I spend days hiding from everyone in my room when I wake up feeling like this.
If anyone has advice on what I can do to stop feeling this way, I could really use it. It’s causing me to stop liking who I am.
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depression
|
I don’t want to sound like I’m making excuses. I’m also worried about getting in some trouble. I’ve missed a few things things schedule-wise. And I did not have much guidance on a research project I self-headed, which had abstract requirements, and there is hint that my performance disappointed.
I’m less then a year in. My performance up until now has been great. When some major changes came about, I had a great attitude of ‘going with it’ but regardless of that, the overwhelm caused some major adhd slips (very easily offended, missed a few instructions, became confused in a few ways, etc).
Any advice on approaching an explanation in the most professional way possible? I’m not medicated. I used to be and I’m waiting on a very long waitlist to see a psychiatrist for a new prescription.
Stressing fairly hard over here. Thanks so much.
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ADHD
|
I am on reddit all the fucking time, mainly when I am in a panic or having a really, really bad time. I don't post on here for comfort as much as I used to, but it's like being on here and having somewhere to comment or post something helps me stay distracted with reduced triggers (because of the forum layout). I kinda feel like a loser for this tbh
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OCD
|
So earlier today I told two of my friends about my suicidal ideation.
They started saying I’m just exaggerating and doing it for attention, honestly fuck people who do this.
I hate people who pretend to have metal illnesses because it makes others automatically assume anyone who reaches out are “just faking it”
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depression
|
I'm not sure if this is normal for ptsd but for some reason I will get a moment in time where I get the memories again but I laugh at some of the things that happened at my ptsd. The problem I have with that is that I know it's awful but some of the things that happened that day was beyond logic so yeah I end up laughing while feeling bad inside. After the laughter I slowly go into depression not just from the PTSD moment but like depressing thoughts of whatever.
Sometimes it doesn't even stop there sometimes just sometimes the anger follows. But I also get the anger on just plain days too. I'm not getting "insane" am I?
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ptsd
|
tw-i talk a lot about SH and go a little bit in detail so please be careful and don’t read if it may be triggering
i have been clean for a couple months now. i was doing really good. when i was dating my ex (we broke up about a month and a half ago), i cut all the time. i saw a video of him by accident today and it made me want to cut so bad, so i did. now i feel like i need to keep going. i don’t want to but i feel like i NEED to. i’m scared that i will never be able to make the urge go away. i’m scared and don’t know because i can’t stop thinking about it and i’m so overwhelmed. TW my favorite number is 5 and right now i have 7 lines so i think i’m gonna do 3 more to try and make it even and see if after that i can stop. but i’m scared i’ll want to make it a perfect 25 bc 5x5=25. i’m scared. i don’t know what to do as an alternative because nothing is the same. i’m nervous. i’m having all these crazy thoughts that are so gross and i just want to get rid of it.
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OCD
|
My anxiety is turning into anger. I’m numb. It feels good. Around me neck and hands. It’s just numb. It felt really good. I felt the blood flowing around my neck. I want to be free. I have access to many things but something inside tells me to just keep going.
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OCD
|
You're all doing an amazing job.
I fit into both categories (Aspie dad with suspected Aspie son). Yes there are many challenges, but being a dad is the most rewarding part of my life.
My son wrote on my father's Day card "To daddy, happy father's day and then write whatever you want"! Slight bit of malicious compliance in there writing exactly what his mum told him but made me laugh!
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aspergers
|
Just wanted to put out there to everyone that this time of year is hard especially for those of us with anniversary triggers.
My son’s dad raped me 2 days after Christmas. The next day I fled — without my kids, my dog, or even a change of clothes. I knew that some choices I’d made to take back my son’s dad were how he got access to me to commit the rape (I’m not blaming myself, I just know I took him back many times and would do it again even after he did this if I didn’t get away). I knew I was sick and needed help. So I left, spent 10 months away getting help and called my kids every day, sending them letters or postcards every week and a care package every month.
I came back to be the mom they deserved, but by that time there was an easy “she just up and left her kids” narrative. I’d called the cops on him and even filed a restraining order before (which was granted only because he admitted to punching a door… not because of anything I reported him doing to me). So after realizing he raped me I didn’t bother calling the police or pressing charges. I also knew that the situation would be made worse if I pushed too hard for more parenting time. I also couldn’t tell the kids why I left; I put the blame on me and said “I was sick and needed help so I could be a better mom to you. I left and came back because I love you, and there’s nothing you did to make me leave. It wasn’t your fault.”
My kids are older now, and don’t speak to me. They even asked that I don’t send them gifts. I remember that last Christmas and how hard I scraped things together to give them a happy holiday… and how vulnerable I was to the deceptive affection of the man who would come to abuse me yet another time.
Every commercial, every billboard, every store playing Christmas music, everything is a trigger.
I know many of us have experiences like this. The high expectations and pressure we experience from the holidays can make something devastating, feel even worse.
So if this is you I’m sending you love. You’re not alone and neither am I.
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ptsd
|
I'm honestly starting to consider it. I'm tired of feeling this way and want a change. I do view this as sort of an easy out and I know I will still have to work on myself afterwards. But if it makes at all a positive difference, I may want to try it. So, I was wondering if it has helped anyone or what their experience was like.
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ptsd
|
I've missed two therapy appointments in a row. I'm such a fucking failure. I've wasted my therapist's time, the office's time and my dad's money. I don't understand why I can't just... do the things I'm supposed to do. Why can't I just REMEMBER the shit I'm supposed to???
I don't even know why I'm going to therapy. It's not helping. It's not doing ANYTHING. Every session is the same. I talk about my intrusive thoughts, I talk about my panic attack, I'm given advice on how to combat these things and then I just... don't do it
I already owe close to $600 dollars to this office, money which neither I or my dad has. Maybe it's a good thing I've missed these appointments. I'm 100% sure my therapist isn't gonna take me back after this screw-up. I can work to pay off the money I owe and then just, I don't know, wash my hands of this.
God, I feel so fucking miserable about this. I just want to apologize to my therapist, but I don't even want to bother her. I know I've wasted her time, and she's probably so disappointed with me. This fucking sucks. And I'm supposed to go out with my friends to celebrate my friend's birthday today, but I can't even get out of my bed to take a fucking shower. I'm such a disappointment to literally everyone around me. I just wish I could do better.
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depression
|
I was wondering if anyone notices a increase in zoning out when not on stimulants compared to before you ever took stimulants?
Im not sure it I just notice I am zoning out more because I am used to stimulants and I always zoned out this much.
But oh gosh, without my meds I stare into space a lot.
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ADHD
|
I'm obsessing over whether I have real event OCD, or PTSD. Last year I had a bigwig psychiatrist, who would not be in the room with me at my appointment, and just left medical students in training, until I asked her to come in the room specifically.
She said I had ptsd. I dont believe a word of that. At this time I was still suffering immensely with intrusive thoughts over the event, I still am.
I dont need to neutralise or agree with my intrusive thoughts or phrases, I just push them away. This sounds more like ptsd to me. It was an intensely traumatic event which started this.
If this is post traumatic ocd, is treating the trauma first the right way forward?
I do have small triggers, but my trauma is intrusive thought dominant.
I feel like I am somewhere between, ptsd, ocd and depression with rumination.
I have a therapist who will work with psylocibin, if the mdma assisted psychotherapy doesn't work too well.
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ptsd
|
I’m living with my parents, who are narcissistic abusers and take their problems out on me, and I can’t get a job that pays enough to move out. I make about $200 per week working part time in a temp role, and I spend all of that money on therapy because I sink into complete despair without it. I’m fully broke but I don’t know what would happen to me if I didn’t have therapy. My parents said they’d reimburse me for it but thus far they haven’t. They paid for virtual therapy for me during the quarantine phase but I suspect it’s only because they had free range to listen in and thus gain more intel and a sense of control over me. They even used snippets of things I said confidentially in session to ridicule me and the things I have been struggling with.
I graduated valedictorian of my college class and I seriously thought I would be easily hireable but it’s so hard with the pandemic and the recession. I just feel like my emotional and financial resources are so depleted that it’s difficult to muster the energy to continue to apply for all these jobs and stay hopeful.
In the meantime I’ve been trying to date but it’s expensive to do so and I have a super difficult time finding anyone who isn’t just trying to hook up with me. I’ve had this problem of every guy I date putting on a façade of serious interest just to get sex from me, which is not particularly surprising but also worsens this feeling of being exploited, manipulated, and undervalued. These feelings are actually pretty consistent across work, family, and dating right now.
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depression
|
Hey Everyone - I hope you are all having an awesome weekend. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD at age 34. It has honestly been one of the most relieving things that has ever happened to me. I have now been prescribed Vyvanse, and it has helped dramatically. I am also taking Zoloft and Wellbutrin.
When I first started Zoloft and Wellbutrin had a week or so where I wasn't hungry much. However, with Vyvanse, I have NO appetite whatsoever. I don't even think about food.
What are your tricks to making sure you eat enough throughout the day? I was thinking shakes or premade meals - but I always struggle to remember I have them
Any tips would be greatly appreciated!
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ADHD
|
I have just been feeling super lonely recently and it has been eating away at me slowly. I have no one to talk to and it is nearly driving me insane. It just feels like no one cares and whatever I do say just does not matter. Now me having no one to talk to and no friends is all completely my fault because I decided years ago that making friends was pointless especially when none of them last. I am in pain and it is just tough getting through the day. I used to play video games all day and now I am not interested in any of them. I am not sure if I just lost interest in general, or if the games just got boring to me. Usually when I am feeling lonely and down like I am right now, I write it out since I have no one to talk to about it, but it would be nice to have someone to talk to every once in awhile. I am just honestly so tired of this world. I never understood it when people said "life is beautiful" or "this world is beautiful". I just do not get it. How can a world be so beautiful when it is filled with so many awful people? Sometimes I really just want to end it, but deep inside I fear death which is probably the thing that is mostly keeping me alive right now. I have no purpose and no one in this world needs me. I rarely love someone and when I do, they do not love me back so honestly what is the point anymore.
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depression
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I recently went to a new therapist and psychiatrist and they both put in a request for testing and learning disability. Is there anything in particular to expect? I'm worried I didn't explain myself properly on their first visit since the psychiatrist made it seem like I might not get it. I've been on all the non stimulant medications with proof so the psychiatrist said she'll try 1 more until putting me on a stimulant. I don't really understand how I can get a stimulant but possibly no accomodations from the testing (may also depend on insurance but I'll pay for it if I have to)
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ADHD
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I came to this website 4 months ago for support, and all it did was traumatize me more. I've gotten so many replies that make me feel worse and are insensitive. Has anyone had this experience?
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ptsd
|
Often, I'm just sitting doing nothing, and then all of a sudden I get an idea and I start thinking about how it would be if I actually went through with what I was thinking about. But as soon as I actually get started, I no longer feel motivated and procrastinate, eventually forgetting about it.
Does anyone else have this issue?
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aspergers
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I'll know I'm not depressed anymore when the best part of my day isn't right before I fall asleep
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depression
|
Do any of you hate things, at least at first, people seem to enjoy sensory wise? I’ve been trying methods of connecting with my environment more but am super sensitive. I find barefoot walking uncomfortable, bare skin I’m quickly cold or feel exposed, cold showers are almost painful, long hair I find itchy and gets in the way. I don’t seem to be good at easing into things, I have used jazz cabbage and that really helps so it seems my dials up to 11, it’s quite annoying and I think it explains why I prefer watching people do certain things as I find it hard to overcome negative stimuli, I also struggle with other things like loud noise, bright lights, pungent smells or too many people.
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ADHD
|
Hi there,
I am struggling with OCD related order and cleaning.
I will clean the house on a daily basis.
Sweeping, mopping, clean the bathroom.
I also have issues with order and things being in their place. I of course have associated anxiety when their not in order and indeed some kind of internal relief when they are.
I often cannot "relax" untill my cleaning routine is done. I only really do it once a day. It doesn't matter what order I do it in. But I am at unease untill I've done it. Even if I work lake till 10pm and the day is done... I will still clean if I get the chance. The compulsion is there.
I also have obsessive thinking patterns and associated anxiety. The obsessive thinking isnt so impacting.
I have been like this for 20 + years since a young teenager. It's very exhausting for me and unfair to my wife and family. It causes unnecesary pressures and resentments.
None of my OCS traits stop me doing anything but they do take up my time, energy and enjoyment.
I have sought some help in the past 5 years From a handful of therapists. Admittedly I've never stuck with one for any longer than a few months.
I'm quite knowledgeable about the methods of treatment so to speak, but have next to little experience of putting them into practice.
4 months ago I started a small dose of Mertazapine. I feel helps greatly with the anxiety but not at all with the cleaning.
Does anyone have any experience with these types of tenancies and indeed any advice on how to do so?
I think ERT is probably the way to go...
Which wont be easy to start but I guess eventually becomes tolerable and then hopefully accepted as the norm.
Any advice appreciated!
Thank you
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OCD
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Is it possible that I developed PTSD from spending a lot of my childhood in hospitals, having surgeries, getting poked and prodded like a lab rat, etc?
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ptsd
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One of the only things I learned from occupational therapy was that I miss swinging. I used to constantly go to the swing set at elementary school every recess...and I miss that feeling. They had a heavy duty swing thing that could even hold me and I loved it.
Now I want one. But I have some requirements and I'm having a hard time finding something that fits them all.
- I need one that can hold at least 300 pounds.
- I also need a stand that isn't going to tip over.
- I'm also trying to get one that isn't $150+
- I have to have a stand because it's going indoors and I can't attach it to the ceiling.
I've read multiple reviews on Amazon but it's a bit overwhelming comparing them all, making sure it holds 300 pounds, checking the reviews to see if it actually held people that are heavy, seeing if it broke or not and then making sure it has free returns/is affordable.
I'm just using Amazon because idk where to get one in a store. I live in WA state so if anyone knows a store that actually sells them...I'll consider them as well!
I'm just hoping someone else here is heavyset and has a swing and a stand so I can get a good recommendation.
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aspergers
|
Hey,
I’m a teacher (uk) with recently diagnosed ADHD. I’ve been teaching for 3 years. It’s a lot!!!
I’m curious whether many other people with ADHD went into teaching?
There are many elements to the job and I sometimes thrive in different areas at this, though certainly not at the same time! E.g. knowing my children and adapting for them, creating resources, talking to parents, reviewing data, planning lessons.
I struggle with time keeping, feeling prepared, prioritising tasks, inbox work, marking and writing reports.
I find myself often overwhelmed and feeling like I’m failing.
Who else teaches? How is it for you?
Did any of you decide to go part time after a few years?
Did you tell your work about your ADHD? (I already have told my headteacher)
I think I want to go part time next year. There are too many days I come home crying, feeling like I was underprepared and lessons went wrong or that decisions were too hard to make on my own.
I partially want to go part time so I can share the 30 chn with someone else and discuss with them how we can support children. I also want to give myself more time to plan and review.
If you were me, what would/wouldn’t you tell your head if requesting part time?
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ADHD
|
I think Broad Autism Phenotype should be a diagnosis on the Autism Spectrum.
​
I will rename it to Autistic Personality Disorder.
​
What is Broad Autism Phenotype?
According to [https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-is-the-broad-autism-phenotype-260048](https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-is-the-broad-autism-phenotype-260048) , Broad Autism Phenotype is an even wider range of individuals who exhibit problems with personality, language, and social-behavioral characteristics at a level that is considered to be higher than average but lower than is diagnosable with autism.
What is my new diagnostic criteria named Autistic Personality Disorder?
Autistic Personality Disorder is the most mildest form of ASD, also known as Broad Autism Phenotype or PDD-NOS that describes an even wider range of individuals who exhibit problems with personality, language, and social-behavioral characteristics at a level that is considered to be higher than average but lower than is diagnosable with autism.
​
Types of ASD:
​
\* Low-functioning Autism
\* Mediam-functioning Autism
\* High-functioning Autism
\* Autistic Personality Disorder, Borad Autism Phenotype or PDD-NOS
​
Autistic Personality Disorder is a developmental disorder that causes strange communication and personalities associated with ASD. It’s just a personality developmental disorder.
​
Autistic Persanlity Disorder is the most mildest form of ASD.
​
Symptoms of ASD includes:
\* Difficulty using and understanding language\[7\]
\* Difficulty relating to people, objects, and events;\[7\] for example, lack of eye contact, pointing behavior, and lack of facial responses
\* Unusual play with toys and other objects.\[7\]
\* Paranoia, a characteristic form of social anxiety, derealization, transient psychosis, and unconventional beliefs if environment or routine are changed without notice\[7\]
\* Repetitive body movements or behavior patterns,\[7\] such as hand flapping, hair twirling, foot tapping, or more complex movements
\* Inability to cuddle or be comforted.
\* Difficulty regulating behaviors and emotions, which may result in temper tantrums, anxiety, and aggression
\* Emotional breakdowns
\* Delusional or unconventional perception of the world
\* Maladaptive daydreaming
\* MIRRORED-SELF MISIDENTIFICATION – the delusion that the individual in the mirror that you are a child, even though you are an older teen or an adult
​
Symptoms of Autistic Personality Disorder includes:
​
\* Communication difficulties (e.g., using and understanding language)\[7\]
\* Difficulty with social behavior
\* Paranoia, a characteristic form of social anxiety, derealization, transient psychosis, and unconventional beliefs if the environment changed without further notice
\* Uneven skill development (strengths in some areas and delays in others)
\* Unusual play with toys and other objects
\* Repetitive body movements or behavior patterns
\* Preoccupation with fantasies that interfere and that are not normal to have at a certain age depending on social, cultural and religious norms.
\* Unconventional perception of the world
\* Maladaptive daydreaming
\* Mirrored-Self Misidentification (The delusion that the individual in the mirror is a child, even though they are an older teen or adult)
​
I hope it all makes sense.
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aspergers
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***********Trigger warning***********
I feel overwhelmingly lazy constantly and totally anhedonic. Constantly anxious and exhausted from my spitting/swallowing compulsions and intrusive thoughts. When my throat compulsions are at their worst, I throw up what I've just eaten because I 'need' to wretch my saliva back up my throat when an unwanted thought pops into my head and I need to face a certain direction when doing it. It's insane I feel like a total weirdo and I don't want to leave the house most days. I have no quality of life and going round in circles with alcohol is torture and very detrimental to mine and my family's lives. I need to find a way past this hell and the only way is to starve my OCD of any oxygen is ERP but it is so difficult. I have a very complex case of OCD with various themes which makes me feel like I'm going insane. Fear of being a horrible person capable of unforgivable acts (false memories), fear of losing control and hurting someone I love, fear of the future, fear of being a pedo or people thinking I'm a pedo. Various compulsions, mainly my throat and spitting/swallowing, obsessions with which direction things are/I am facing, blessing myself, praying out loud. It's gotten so bad I am starting to lose hope and I have always been optimistic about getting better but my life has been on hold for so long now and the bitter truth is time doesn't stop. I have substance abuse problems and feel I could harm myself when I am under the influence, so I am getting help for remaining abstinent. I have felt like this since high school but it got severe when I was in my late teens, I am now 33. I've tried behavioural psychotherapy, medication etc but it has only resulted in me being on 60mg Prozac a day and a LOT of wasted time worrying about 'what if' and I have missed out on so many things it makes my heart ache. I find it really hard to maintain friendships/relationships. I want to look forward to the future instead of worrying about it. I have a fixation on valium and other benzos for that temporary relief that just leads to feeling 100 times worse. I know I am not alone but I don't know anyone personally. I've had multiple episodes of dellusions, dissociation and I feel totally insane at times and like a fraction of the person I should be given the chance. My anxiety is held primarily in my throat and is so overwhelmingly difficult to move past because it relates to a false memory that can't be proved or disproved but if it were real I couldn't live with myself and I would want to end my life but I wouldn't be able to because of the religious aspect of my OCD. So basically... Rock-me-hard place. The only way forward for me is to beat this head on. I'm just so tired all the time! I am on the waiting list for behavioural psychotherapy yet again and hopefully things are different this time...
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OCD
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My therapist tries to get me to see that my self hatred is invalid and doesn’t make any sense but I somehow twist it in my head to make sense. My abuser would tell me I’m worthless and stupid and it is like forever burned into my brain. I can’t get myself to think positively about myself. I’m so sick of living this way. Someone please help me.
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ptsd
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TRIGGER WARNING: Sexual Abuse
This happened today. I was having enjoyable sex with my boyfriend, and after we were finished, he left. I was in a giddy after sex sort of mood afterward, but then I started to turn a bit reflective.
This is my first boyfriend. I’m a 17 year old female. At that point I thought that he was the first one I’ve ever done anything sexual with. Then a thought that I’ve usually always pushed away popped up. “How come before him, the feeling and taste of a penis felt so familiar?” I began to really try thinking long and hard about all of the penises I’ve seen in real life. Most of them were in an accidental context except for one.
I’ve seen this mental image before in my head, but pushed it away for some reason I didn’t know. Then I tried to focus in on it. I noticed something. Orange paint on the walls. My brother’s room.
As I noticed this, an overwhelming number of images came flashing in my head. I was play wrestling with my brother (like we always did). I was around 4, he was around 12. I felt something hard coming from his sweatpants. At this point I’ve likely heard the word “penis,” but had no idea what it really was until a bit later. Again, I was around 4.
He waited a bit and he slid his sweatpants down a little bit. I looked at it, probably very confused.
He grabbed my hand and made me touch his penis. I don’t remember if he said anything during this, probably not.
But I do remember him pushing my head down a little and asking me to suck it. I reluctantly sucked at the head, but I guess he felt my teeth too much and/or felt guilty and he asked me to stop and to never tell mom or dad or anyone about it.
That’s it. That’s the memory. After my boyfriend left, I texted him about this. He asked me if I was sure and after some talking, he didn’t really know what to say. I told him how I felt disgusting because it was not only forced, I was a child and this was my brother.
I’ve always looked up to my brother. He was always cool, stoic, and handsome. He’s just a male role model. After finally recalling this after good therapy, sex, and some introspection, I don’t want to look my brother in the eyes. I don’t know what to think. I don’t know whether he remembers or not. Whether I should tell him.
All I know is that if I tell my mother about this, she will very likely take my brother’s side. He’s the favorite, she always protects him, and she has been very frustrated with me lately. I’ve been a bit rebellious and she doesn’t really trust me anymore. It sucks.
I’ve been thinking about this memory nonstop since I’ve uncovered it. It’s really starting to mess with me.
Plenty of things are starting to make sense: my hypersexuality, my knowledge about sex from a very early age, my knowledge of the male genitalia even more than my own, the way my brother detaches himself from me almost as if he feels guilty....
I just want to get my story out there. Why now? How do I continue further?
Also, I apologize that my writing is all over the place. I just need to get this off my chest and I don’t really know what to do with this flood of information.
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ptsd
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Hey y’all, I’m a male 17. I haven’t been diagnosed with ADHD/ADD but I think I have one of them. I have been diagnosed just with a learning disability this year. I keep failing my drivers written exam. I’ve taken it 3 times and everytime I take a new one the jumble new questions. It throws me off then my mind goes into a complete spiral. I know when I’ll get my license I’ll be a good focused driver but why is the written stuff messing me up. And the worst part is I’m always at the last 2-3 questions and they fail me. It’s also throws me off when I get a answer wrong, on the dot it tells me the answer I just put is right or wrong and it messes with my head.
I k now this is very specific but any advice would help thanks.
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ADHD
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I saw a video about this (in UK) of some autistic people being given dogs to improve their physical/mental health etc.
I was wondering if these would be classed similarly to guide-dogs for the blind, in that you can take them everywhere (shops, restaurants etc.)?
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aspergers
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I’m not providing context, but I just feel like shit. She didn’t deserve to hear me say that and now the whole friendship is being reevaluated. I feel horrible (as I should). Has anyone else been pressured into this type of situation and if so, could you give me some advice?
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aspergers
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I am fairly certain I may have OCD. It's been in the back of my head for a couple years now, but due to different reasons I always put it for later.
Where and how can I make sure if I actually have OCD? Like, Psychiatrist/Psychologist ?
Is the process straightforward? I reside in a country where I do not speak the local language, I fear this might cause hiccups.
Are there any alternatives to real life doctors (due to language restrictions).
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OCD
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My journey with ADHD / ADD probably began long before I realized it. In 2017 I was diagnosed with stress and anxiety induced IBS. I didn't feel particularly stressed even though I had a fairly high stress job. I ended up on Effexor XR - wow that immediately helped my GI issues and my anxiety.
Fast forward to this year. I finally took a legit ADHD assessment with a psychologist - Moderate Adult ADD was the Dx. I tried Adderall XR ..... low dose did no good but next step up make me want to vomit.
I've switched to Vyvanse this week and man, what an amazing difference. Feels like a fog has lifted. It's amazing that a stimulant like Vyvanse can help with anxiety and depression as well. Seems like a rock solid combo for me.
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ADHD
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I can't accept this being part of me. I just want to run away and have another brain. I can't accept those horrible thoughts are happening inside MY head. I am not like that and those are the most horrific things ever.
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OCD
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I started a new medication a few days ago. And as the title says, I'm not sure if I'm just going through a manic episode. I clearly have more depression issues in the mornings before I take it, but I've got energy afterwards. I've got that let's go mentality, but night comes and the depression hits again. I know they start you on a super low dose, but I've had a ton of different medications and they all just... Slowly don't work. I feel like I can't be fixed
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depression
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Hey guys so as I’m sure you have seen there are posts in this sub all the time about people taking stimulants for the first time and saying it helped them so much and they can finally function. However there is something that needs to be said.
Stimulants are not a miracle drug as I’m sure you all know. The first time you take a stimulant of course everything is going to feel great you’re having euphoria likely from having a large excess of dopamine and norepinephrine which is going to make you feel great and like everything in the universe is fixed.
As I’m sure you’ve also seen though there are plenty of people on here medicated who struggle with the same problems on and off meds myself being one of them. I know we like drugs treatment here and I’m not here to discourage that but we need to be realistic.
Adderall will not fix all your problems and as much as I wish it would it’s not gonna cure your adhd. I have been feeling so shitty recently that I don’t have the reaction to meds that people talk about on here. I’m sure there are others that share this sentiment.
So to wrap this all up I think people need to be educated on this sub that when you first take stimulants yes you’re going to feel great but that doesn’t mean you’re cured or everything is now fine and the display of meds as such a miracle cure is VERY discouraging to those of us that struggle to use it or find minimal benefits.
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk have a productive day!
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ADHD
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Someone eventually called ne back. The woman on the phone asked a lot of questions and then told me she will send me an email in a week. A week later i got an email to coaches and other services in my area, all costing way more than i could ever afford.
And the struggle continues...
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aspergers
|
This book.
It's a very tough read and I spent a lot of my time reading it very emotional. I learned about the psychological and physiological effects of childhood trauma and how to spot trauma responses in myself, from my random episodes of hypertension to wanting to cry when I'm forced to look someone in the eyes.
The stories he tells are so intense, sad, and thought-provoking. Some of them I could relate to very deeply and some of them were heartbreaking and I couldn't imagine how much pain was experienced. As you read, you get a sense of who he is as a professional and as a person through the gentleness of his thoughts towards the children and their families that he has cared for.
The most important take-away that I got from it is to be gentle with myself. He reminds me to not feel guilty or weak or ashamed. I'm justified in my fear, anger, and sadness.
Bad things happened, but he lets the reader know there is hope for healing and peace, and I think we all, as survivors, need to be reminded of that.
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ptsd
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I've been thinking about all this. Thoughts about children run through my head whenever I'm masturbating and I have to stop because, in my head, I'm thinking "if I keep masturbating I'm a p*dophile", and then I feel helpless when I see my erection coming back when I stop as the thought.
My thought process just feels completely fragmented, like it jumps or cuts to different ideas, and I feel like I'm living in a different reality. The best thing I can compare this to is the album "Everywhere at the End of Time", specifically the middle to end parts. It's about dementia but I feel like my OCD thought process is almost similar at first glance.
I'm wracked with fear and shame when I test my genitals. Whenever I'm in the middle of masturbating, I can't help but be confused over the specific body shape of whoever I'm fantasizing about. I start asking myself "is this a child?" and "do they have adult body parts?", and I ultimately keep stopping. I'm also obsessed with making sure the age in question is always eighteen or above, even as I'm sixteen.
I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore. My attraction to adult women just feels so diminished, and the reassurance I get when I test myself just fades the moment I look away. There's moments of getting pissed off, fear, and the feeling of wanting to give up.
My parents dropped my therapist weeks ago, since the help she offered only turned into compulsions as time passed. They're looking into finding an OCD psychologist for me, but it's been nearly two weeks and nothing has happened. Nobody is helping me, and I'm just stuck in this limbo state of mind where I only have myself to face this.
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OCD
|
I’m on the spectrum and I also work with kids/teens on the spectrum.
One person I work with is legally an adult and very high functioning. High functioning as in has a driver’s license.
This person seems to struggle with empathy. They make most choices depending on the consequences for them only.
They seem to understand that people would feel pain based on their actions but they admit they don’t care unless it affects them directly.
For example, if their mom had a bag of chocolate and they had to punch their mom to get it with the only consequence being that their mom would be in pain, they said they would punch their mom to get the chocolate.
They were able to know that they would not want to be punched if it was the other way around and it would hurt and knew their mom would hurt but as long as nothing bad would happen to them they said they would do it.
This person has asked me to teach them how to care about people.
They care in terms of personal gain, like they will get gifts for people so that a person will like them. Or offer to help someone, but again, always for personal gain. They want to be liked because they want people to go out with and people to talk to about their special interests. If it’s a person who can’t give them anything they want then they won’t do anything at all for the person.
Is this typical for people on the spectrum? I know lack of empathy is a common problem but how many people here would punch their parent (whom they claim to care about) to get something as long as they wouldn’t be punished?
Personally I am highly empathetic with people I care about.
I’m just wondering if other people on the spectrum also experience similar things to that or if this is something more than the typical empathy problems people on the spectrum have?
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aspergers
|
Hello, aspie community! A lot of people have been interested in how life is like as a black aspie and a thread (that I, unfortunately, can't find right now) showing a poster outside of a black homeowner's house warning the police that he is black and has autism and not to shoot him. I feel as though there is a greater deal of importance for me to tell my story now than there ever has been before. I'm also going to touch on the more toxic aspects of black culture and how that, unfortunately, pertains to us. Before all of this, I must also disclaim that I have a very [light complexion(No face for obvious reasons)](https://i.imgur.com/2RpQjNp.jpg) and I grew up in an above middle-class household and I am 22 years of age. My sensory triggers are Sound and touch.
**Elementary school 1-6**
People would always call me special. I spoke with big words and had an obsession with reading the dictionary in the 3rd grade(Now that I think about it recalling my past is going to bring up a lot of strange behavior in hindsight). This allowed me to be renowned by everyone in my family. People had extremely high expectations of me.
I liked it at first. I liked reading the Bashur science books. I liked being the person doing the proofreading. I like the expectations thrust about on me at first. But what this also did was alienate me from my peers. A lot of black people especially in lower-income areas speak using ebonics. Just talking to another black person accentuated the feeling of the uncanny valley they would feel. Unfortunately, this was used as a justification to make fun of me or more often ostracise me.
To make matters worse the way I spoke wouldn't reflect in my grades after 8th. I didn't get sarcasm until the 2nd grade(I thought it was a food at some point lol). I always stuck out like a sore thumb and making black friends was very difficult until recently. It was really difficult as I got older. In the 4th grade, I had really bad meltdowns and had a teacher who clearly had a prejudice against me and my other black peers(Every other POC in the class I talked to had their folder signed and her kids were unnaturally rude to me even when I tried to tell them how to catch Rotom in pokemon Platinum). I would lose control of my emotions and irrational sadness would take over. I Would cry really loudly and I didn't know what was happening or why I was feeling the way I did. People called me weird because of this and I was never looked at the same way.
There is always the feeling of being different no matter the setting. People will see my race before seeing me as an autistic person. My dad tried to force and to like other traditional black interests like watching the NFL(National Football League for my non-American readers) or NBA(National Basketball Association) but I was always bored by them. He kept enrolling me in basketball even if he knew I would usually do terribly and this lead to comparisons between my brother and I. He would often make fun of me and the meltdowns I had in school. I was always taught that I have to fight. Not physically(Unless self-defense) but you have to make the best out of a bad situation. I can't be timid. I can't cry or let **anyone** see any point of weakness. I am expected to barrel through everything. You cope with tough situations through anger to distract you. You have to be 5x better than your White, Asian, or Latino peers to stand a chance(Which is what I was and still am told today, and trust me I'll get into how this toxic mindset affects me and the black community as a whole later).
But unfortunately, my condition was diametrically opposed to this. Dad would scream at me and it felt like physical pain(He was a military veteran but still). I used to think everyone felt this way. How could I not? A lot of the Cartoons I watched had a character react by covering their ears to loud noise. So everything must be fine right? Dad would around this time call my voice robotic and this became compounded when other black kids told me I spoke white. I was confused. How do you even begin to solve a problem that to you isn't even that isn't clear to you at all. My light complexion compared to my brother got brought up more and I felt isolated. I got officially diagnosed in the sixth grade but unfortunately, my Dad's treatment didn't change much and he brushed it off which led to me doing the same. He didn't really do much research into autism so how much it affected my actions was not examined. They stated that I would be able to live on my own and that was good enough for them I suppose.
To make matters worse my classmates would play tag with me. I would always hit someone back when they tagged me. In truth, this was another one of my sensory triggers. My parents wanted me to be or at least pretend to be "normal". I would have to make at least an attempt to act as normal as possible and this led to me masking my discomfort with the tag game. I pretended I liked it to not be looked at as a weirdo by my classmate or a timid wimp but this made the problem worse. At the time I didn't even know what autism was. I thought it was just a mispronunciation of the word artistic. To compound this issue, a huge special interest of mine in 6th grade was the diary of a wimpy kid books. I read them all the time to the point where the teachers gave me the diary of a wimpy kid award while other kids received awards with more substance. This infuriated my immediate family. I was pretty much forced to drop the series at that point. Especially thanks to the embarrassment I felt.
Notice a pattern here? You have to show you aren't weak or have a serious issue. You have to put up a mask of being normal and learning to do so is imperative. Eye contact? Dad forces me to look him in the eye and couches me on conversation, Meltdowns? The Belt. Sensory problems? You just have to deal with it. I assumed everyone had to go through this. How could I not? But this led to issues of major self-loathing as I would constantly be set up to fail. This got more apparent in middle school.
**Middle school7-8**
I wasn't like everyone else. I was clearly different I just didn't know in what way I was. I assumed this was due to my more technological-based interest like robotics and programming. Around this time one of my friends would comment on my obsession with certain topics. I was the butt monkey and made fun of constantly which was to me at the time better than being alone. I viewed myself as a follower. A lot of kids were getting girlfriends. While they were gaining more self-confidence I had the literal reverse incel mindset. The idea that literally anyone would genuinely be attracted or care about me was foolish and I was simply too different or didn't deserve it.
My friends were white and when we went to robotics competitions I felt isolated. No other black people. No one I could truly relate to and any attempt would have those lingering thoughts in my mind. It was already enough that I was weird to the group I was supposed to confide in but I also saw no one that shared my interest. I try to talk to my parents but all they said was that it's something I'm just going to have to deal with which is true but they weren't good at offering emotional support and thinking about it it was likely they were told the same things as children. It began to set in that wasn't the older brother that I was supposed to be, I was just a weirdo to many people. I was of course blamed for this and my efforts to change who I was failed.
**Highschool 9-11**
The friend group I had dissolved over the summer as they gradually began to ignore me even went I clearly called out to them. My mom called it and believes it had something to do with the Mom and possibly racism due to how sudden the behavior was. He did apologize months later and asked to be my friend again which I promptly rejected which made me feel like an individual again. Especially upon a reexamination of our friendship dynamic. I gained better friends but school fatigue began to set in. Late Junior year someone called me out for hijacking a conversation snapped at me. I noticed people would be a lot less tolerant of me for making any social mistakes. This lead to the worst school year I had.
**Senior year**
I had severe autistic burnout. No motivation to do anything but the bare minimum. My special interest became Reddit which I would use to an unhealthy degree as a form of escapism(I mean I still use it now but it's in moderation). I again had no idea why I felt this way. I had no one to guide me out of this pit. I even disconnected myself from my friends. I would talk less and less until I wouldn't even sit at the same table. I would on initiative walk to a quieter area during the off period(Which is also why prom was a disaster).
I didn't have anyone I could call a friend at that point rather just people I would occasionally talk to. I was just going through the motions. Church became a place where my parents and even brother would evaluate my social progress and any mistake I made was exaggerated and I would be ridiculed. This further accentuated my isolation. Why try when you are going to fail no matter what. Why do anything. I didn't have suicidal thoughts but I did fall down the horrible pit of existentialism and escapism which would eventually evolve into full-blown depression during my college life.
**College so far**
Things got better near the end of community college. I got into clubs and actually made more real connections and gradually stopped using Reddit as validation for thoughts. What really changed everything was psychology class.
At that time. Autism was always on the back of my mind. I had it but it didn't matter much. I told the teacher how I learned to mask and assimilate. How my parents would punish me. Instead of praise or whatever I hoped to gain from the conversation it was overshadowed by this quote.
"I feel sorry for you"
I was confused. The class had ended and I drove home and after doing my own research. Something snapped. I did my own research and I broke down. It was the first time I had a meltdown in years. It made sense and that moment changed my personality forever. Year's worth of toxic positivity invalidated. I felt sadness, resentment, anxiety, and relief in very overwhelming ways. After spending the rest of the day thinking and contemplating I researched all I could about autism and started the long-overdue process of demaskification and gradually beginning to accept my autistic behavior and all of the memories good and bad that involved autism in some way.
It destroyed a fragile foundation but created a new steady base to take its place. My motivation changed. I didn't want to go to college just to get a degree I wanted to make an impact or do something and I always confided in fictional writing and software. Hopefully when this pandemic ends. I can finally start development(I have most of the design documents and plot ideas done.) Covid was and still is kinda rough but it's going. I'm taking the time to mend and build past relationships(Oddly enough my best friend is mixed and physically disabled). Depression and anxiety are ongoing battles but I'm optimistic that there is a bright future ahead. Not because I'm barreling through without confronting them but because I can see the clearing through the trees. I do believe it does get better.
**My Family**
For everything I said. I fully expect my family to be demonized in the comments of this thread. But they began to understand autism better and more importantly how it relates to me. They used to compare me to someone else we knew with autism but that stopped thankfully. I don't resent my family and forgive some of the actions they did. They didn't know how to raise me. They brought up with different standards. They both came from low socio-economic status and struggled to get to where we are now wading off constant racism(They are from backwater Mississippi for perspective).
How could they possibly understand how I felt and furthermore provide emotional support when mental health was never even a dot on their radars. Could they have done more to research Autism? Yeah, most definitely but resenting them for the past or hating them isn't going to make my situation any better. What matters is that they change now and improve in the present and luckily things have changed. My dad and mom became more accepting of autism. They kinda still maintain that "tough it out" mentality but more of it is a necessity because of the increase in racial violence as of late.
My brother, however, made me proud. My relationship with him was always rocky. I had a lighter complexion than him. Because of colorism, this means that I have a higher chance of getting a job or am looking at more favorably. Even as a Kid this made me angry. It didn't seem fair at all. People treated him as a meathead. Not stupid but that his athleticism was all there was to him. So I understand why he sorta resented me especially when he knew my grades weren't that good. He's not dumb. He's actually really really intelligent so despite my mom's desire for me to keep it from him he probably already knew. But one night quite recently. He went to my room. I assumed he was going to mess with me but instead actually wanted to understand my condition. This was after I called him and his behavior out via text message. We talked with him having realizations for my actions. When I apologized for not being the brother he wanted he stated it was fine and now our relationship evolved past obligation.
That's finally enough time spent talking about my life's story but that's enough about me and my experience. Let's talk about other problematic aspects in the black community regarding this subject.
**Homophobia/Transphobia**
I am a cisgender straight black guy. So I can't speak as someone from the LGBTQ. I just wanted to disclaim that real quick. Homophobia is massive in the black community, unfortunately. It goes beyond simple religious denomination. Numerous times earlier in the thread I had to stress the amount of toxic masculinity the community suffers from. Even black women aren't necessarily exempt from this. The problem lies in history. The generations that lived through American slavery had to maintain this toxic disposition to not fall apart especially after slavery.
The western stereotyping of homosexuality was not an image that the black community wanted as male and female slaves were raped. Which is sad because [in Africa pre colonialism it was fine with homosexuality](https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/sep/09/being-gay-african-history-homosexuality-christianity) (for certain groups at least)( King Mwanga II was openly gay for instance). It's what makes the black community in America being homophobic so tragic. This image is not helped in part by the media. Black people more often than not are depicted as tough, violent, Strong, Boisterous. Various masculine traits.
Rarely are they ever sensitive, anxious, depressed, analytical, mentally ill, shy, etc.(Things are getting better but this is me setting the stage)? While I personally never had any problem adopting this type of persona. Many did and still plagues the black community to this day. The worst part of this is. It's not just a mark of shame or brought up as a way for the community to improve. It's often perceived as a mark of pride. As for transphobia. Take everything that trans people already go through. Add in the toxic masculinity problem from earlier and you can probably see what problems they face especially with the added ignorance of gender dysphoria amongst most of the population.
**Cops/Racism**
While I personally haven't experienced any violent interactions with police. I have had them called on me once and someone threatened to do so to my boss at my job. Once during high school when I was trying to catch the late bus with my brother. 2 cop SUV's stopped us at the stop. The reason they gave was that someone said we were suspicious. They gave the description and It was easy for me to maintain my mask because the taught that the cops were talking about me never crossed my mind.
My brother and I put two and two together like the officers mentioning a gray shirt(what I was wearing) (Plus the sidewalk and street were completely barren) on the bus. Mom also followed us to the stop but arrived much later. She told us there was a third much less tolerant officer 3rd officer SUV that came and we left just in time. I feel as though we dodged a
bullet(Hopefully figuratively). I did stim on my way to the bus but I still had my backpack so I don't doubt for a second that the call was to some degree racially motivated. What's worse about this, in particular, was that I was alone at the time. so someone was most likely just watching me saw that I was suspicious and called the cops.
As for my job some woman threatened to call the police on me for stealing 1$ gloves. Even though I worked there, was clearly an employee and was putting them away so I could return them later. While I'm blessed to be able to mask really well. This is not something to be proud of. You either mask well or die when interacting with police officers. Not to mention the racism I already experienced as a child. Your already present issues become accentuated.
**Conclusion**
This is my perspective and I would love to hear an outsider's perspective . Especially from other minority groups. I've always wanted to hear about the Asian aspie experience, especially with recent events.
But yes I really wanted to delve into how this shadow still looms over the black community. But I still love my community. Even if there are things I don't like I will never cede that part of my identity. Despite everything, I learned to love myself. I would not for a second change the person I am now. So while I still have to deal with both racism and ableism I can still take solace in who I became. Thanks for reading to the end and If you have questions feel free to ask them. I'll be sure to answer them as soon as I can.
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aspergers
|
I suffer from contamination OCD and wash my hands/use hand sanitizer very very often. It leaves my hands so terribly dry and I’ve started to get split open cuts/cracks on them until they bleed. I’m sure a good amount of you understand or can relate.
I’m working on making them better but sometimes they do flare up when I’ve had a bad couple of days.
Right now I have a couple big ones on the middle knuckle of my middle finger. They are pretty deep and bleed often, and are very hard to heal because thats a constantly moving area where they keep getting reopened.
As I said, one is really deep and I actually think I can see and differentiate between 2 layers of skin??
I wonder what the odds are of getting an infection in these wounds. I keep my hands so clean, which is of course the root of the problem, but that also makes me think I must have less of a chance of them getting dirty and infected.
Thoughts, advice, experiences?? I’d appreciate it.
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OCD
|
I’m 18 and am getting horrible grades in uni. I lost all my friends because I thought they were annoyed by me and secretly hated me, so I stopped talking to them ( I was wrong and lost them for no reason). I’m physically unnatractive, super dependant for my family ( can barely do shit on my own, don’t have stuff that other people have my age like a drivers license or a job), and I’m also extremely un athletic . I m confident adhd and anxiety are causing all these problems . I just don’t know what to do . Whenever I try to fix something in my life it never works.
|
ADHD
|
I have a physics test in 2 days and every time I have a test I freak out, I make mistakes because of that and everyone is better than me. I don't want people to think I'm stupid, no one understands what I can bring to the table. I'm just trying so hard and nothing is coming out of it. I hate my life
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ADHD
|
Im having a hard time, I tend to have a good time at the beginning of s*x but then start worrying if I’m actually enjoying it or attracted to my bf and as a result fall out of arousal.
Sometimes everything goes well but at the end it’s always that question of what if I’m gay or what if I don’t want to be having sex with him.
I also get triggered when I hear that some people from the lgbt community felt that straight sex wasn’t for them or right or idk, but is that what I’m feeling?!
I don’t want to have def with a women, but what if I’d enjoy it more than with a man and that’s what Im supposed to be doing?
Any insight?
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OCD
|
I’m sure they’ll have to learn to cope with the modern world quickly.
|
aspergers
|
I'm a senior in high school experiencing severe waves of depression and burn out at the worst possible time. Finals and college applications are coming up, but I'm consumed with shame, self-doubt and emptiness while also lacking motivation.
I used to enjoy going to school. I'm a naturally curious person who is fascinated with learning. But now I'm just going through the motions. I've gotten so little sleep all year because of all my AP courses and extracurriculars, that I don't even know myself anymore. I can't talk with my parents about these issues because they always get upset and scream at me for acting "dramatic" and "self-destructive." Apparently I'm too weak just have to "suck it up."
I have so much to do with so little time. Any tips to power through this?
|
depression
|
I'm 14 and starting therapy soon, I need to talk to people on what to expect.
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OCD
|
I switched jobs recently because I was burned out and extremely stressed all the time. The new job is better, but now I don’t have insurance.
Luckily, I got enough Vyvanse for month of November, but I’ll go the month of December without. I’ve been rationing my pills by not taking any on weekends. The excessive daytime sleepiness is so frustrating. Today I woke up after 10 hours of sleep already exhausted. I just took an hour nap because I couldn’t stay awake any longer. Do you have any advice on how to make it through the workdays when I don’t have medicine?
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ADHD
|
I'm diagnosed with PTSD and autism among other things, and I'm having a hard time in therapy because every time I try to talk about what happened, my words disappear and I freeze and literally can't talk. Does anyone else experience this? Is there a way around it? It's getting very frustrating.
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ptsd
|
Just tell your OCD that there is no food and to quit bugging you about it. Nothing was there the millionth time you checked, so why would you expect it to be there the next time? Let your OCD starve to death.
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OCD
|
Y'all, I finally cried a couple of days ago. I've wept since my most recent trauma, but I hadn't cried yet. This was a HUGE step. Not only did I cry, but I started to tear up in front of my partner. I'm able to cry alone occasionally, but in front of another person? Rare. I just wanted to celebrate with y'all.
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ptsd
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I mean there is a girl who shows evidence of liking me, I was interested in her in the past when she wasn't in me. I showed up at her door to say hi today and give her a small gift I brought from a trip. Not sure how she really reacted as her siblings were there and that makes it awkward.
I mean people go and meet and connect and marry and get on with their lives, and I am always stuck in indecision at first base in life. It takes me weeks of thinking and planning and rituals before I could do this.
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OCD
|
I've been obsessing really bad about solipsism and consciousness for a while now, every day all day I have this intense anxiety over it, but the thing that's terrifying me the most is the feeling of my consciousness being trapped inside my skull, it's very claustrophobic and extremely scary, it makes me feel like screaming in fear
I mean technically it IS true, but it's like I've become very hyperaware of it and it's starting to actually become a physical feeling, the past week it's been literally ALL I can think about, the trapped feeling is always there and never goes away, absolutely NOTHING I try to do to distract myself works, it's still always there in the front burners of my mind, fucking eating me alive
I really, really do believe that I'm on the way to my complete loss of sanity, surely there's only so much existential panic attacks you can have before your brain fundamentally changes and you go crazy
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OCD
|
I have attraction based intrusive thoughts towards my brother... needless to say I hate myself for it and that it's been threatening multiple relationships of mine including with my boyfriend whom I love more than anything.
Yesterday I had to drive for my brother for what would be a 30 minute long trip. I saw it as a chance to do ERP and just focus on our sibling bond. I think it went fine for the most part.. a few tics, intrusive thoughts and discomfort here and there, but fine.
Until we reach our destination and my brother tells me I look good.. I've lost about 24 kilos and he hasn't seen me much, but even though it was a simple nice compliment my head kept going "why why why why.. did you have to tell me that"
The rest is a bit of a blur cause my mind just completely took over from then on.. all thoughts are mashed together and it's like trying to find the two ends of a kilometer long shoelace that's just been bundled up in a big knotted ball. I have no idea how to filter throught my thoughts and possibly calm myself down with solutions, because I have no idea what concrete thoughts or fears I really have at this point. It just feels like the heaviest shadow constantly hanging over me. Constantly feeling uneasy, but unable to work out anything concrete.
|
OCD
|
Just curious what it’s like for other OCD sufferers out there.
I’ll go first: I really wish I could hold/pet my dog without feeling contaminated. I miss cuddling with him and I feel so guilty because he might think I don’t love him that much anymore. It’s even worse because our time together is getting shorter :(
|
OCD
|
well we're off to a good start here. i made the title and these two sentences *after* i typed out the rest of this. something ive noticed is that when ive laughingly remarked "i hav absolutely no idea how i exist" others do not find this funny or really understand what i mean lmao. like, the best way i can i explain it is "I, person that i am, composed of the experiences I've experienced, have been put in charge of myself, and somehow, *somehow* i am here, scratching my head going what?" its funny to me. im not gonna say that it was altogether *necessary* or in someway righteously destined that i experienced this absolute clusterfuck of mental health becoming absolute shite, but at the end of the day im jus glad to still be puttin one foot in front of the other and makin progress everyday. i think its an attitude that naturally developes over time, even if you dont conciously seek out positive thinkkng or mantras, i think eventually after breaking down enough you are just so easily truthfully grateful for the little crumbs of stability+goodness that you gradually begin to amass. didnt intend to ramble about all this but whatever. love to all, hope anyone whos strugglin today remembers that theyve prolly been through worse and if not- then theyve previously been through things that took the cake for worst shit ever and still got through that so idk keep on keepin on. peace n love
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ptsd
|
Hi everyone :3
Leaving the house alone is one of my main concerns in my day. My mom lives with me, but recently she had to go my grandma's to take care of her because of a recent situation with her health.
I'm TERRIFIED to leave my home alone, like a final destination shit is happening in my head. I don't know if someone had struggled with this situation (Or maybe is just me).
Trying to put my mind at ease with meditation (Worked wonders so far) but when I know my mom has to leave the house, thoughts are flooding back.
Any help or maybe tell to chill the fuck up lol
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ADHD
|
I'm just tired I've lived an insanely crazy life went through drugs, beat psychosis at 15, moved to mexico had a great time had a kid. Came back couple years ago but my kids and wife are stuck in Mexico and only see them every 2 weeks or 1nce a month my kids have grown without me really there and most of it is just because we let it go this long and I'm just tired. Even besides that I've always felt alone I have friends but they don't believe in depression and can't open up to them and can't really complain to my wife since I feel like it's all my fault that we live the way we do. My son is the only thing that anchors me and stops me from being free. I wonder if we do ever get to live normally if I'll just keep coping or if it would help. Just needed to vent as it's been years of just feeling numb. I feel a lot of karma (not religious or spiritual at all) but I was a POS when I was younger and life is just catching up idk but I'm done with everything. Sorry for not making sense just felt It'd help writing it down.
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depression
|
Does anyone here have PTSD from the lifestyle of drug abuse? Being arrested, frequent jail stays, in and out of rehab just to ruin your life over and over again?
I am a heroin addict and I went through hell causing my PTSD. Just wondering if anyone can relate.
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ptsd
|
Hello
First of all sorry if my english isn't the best during the entire post.
So i think there's a lot of posts describing the worst moments with this illness (And no doubt this illness can be the worst ever). I've had this illness since i was around 11 and today I'm 21 and i've gone through both the worst times where i wouldn't sleep for 8 days at worst, but I've also experienced times where i've kept it under control and even turned it into my friend.
So first of all I wanna clear something about OCD, that it is in no way the same illness for everyone, so this posts is only about my experience and maybe you can relate and maybe you can't. Also in this post, I'm not gonna focus on the times where OCD has littereally ruined my life, but I wanna talk about the positives aspects I've experienced.
So my brain and thoughts have always like kinda functioned in a pattern where i think sorta obsessive i'd say. Like this doesn't have to be bad thoughts, but i usually keep thinking a lot in a pattern where i will think about the same topic and things and this is ofc a bad thing when the topic is something that gives me anxiety, but yeah. But i've also experienced my OCD thinking pattern when it comes to achieving something like motivation in Fitness, motivation to gain the best grades in school and achieving a high rank in video games and so on. I've found myself being way more motivated than many of my friends cus i'd keep thinking about whatever topic i wanted to achieve.
I can't conclude this is because of my OCD, it was just a thought i had and maybe some of you can relate in any way. But as a saying goes "Every bad situation will have something positive".
Regardless i hope everyone has a good night and weekend, remember were all gonna make it <3
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OCD
|
**PS: I do not mean to often anyone. Nor do I claim to speak on behalf of anyone with Asperger. I'm only sharing my observations since I would like feedback.**
**Asperger's/Neuroatypical mind**:
* Wants to understand.
* Is willing to ask multiple questions.
* Is ready to repeat ideas in the hope of arriving at more clarity.
For instance, in a novel, why does a character wear a blue sweater. Is willing to bring up a topic again and again. Collects facts about a specific topic and keeps bringing it up.
**Neurotypical mind**: Wants novelty, doesn't like asking questions, will say, "I get it, you don't have to repeat it.' He/She asks a question once and doesn't repeat it further. Is stronger at being thrown into a new situation and trying to make sense of it. Will tend to appeal to common sense and be satisfied with the answer. Why didn't the students get a high grade? They didn't read the book.
**Scholars and Asperger's connection**: It seems the college professors also tend to center themselves on one topic and write in multiple angles about the same topic. For instance, a professor who studies the Chronicles of Narnia. He/She might study the first novel from the perspective of Edmond during the second novel from the perspective of Lucy. For the neurotypical student study might be seen as 'boring," but for the Asperger's mind, it might seem as exciting since we see things from an entirely new angle.
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aspergers
|
im agnostic but im not sure which type of agnostic i am (i guess this makes me an agnostic agnostic)
im always confused about the concept of odds. like is it 0%? is it 100%? is it 50%? is it one in a huge number? is it one in infinity? does infinity even exist?
|
aspergers
|
I have nothing to look forward to. There was a time I was excited about events like Christmas, now everything's just another samey day. It's rather Groundhog Day.
I'm doing a Masters but it's online which I find depressing as I'm totally isolated, I'm not even sure who's on the course as I have basically zero contact with them. It doesn't help that I missed some initial Zoom meetings as I was a bit lost.
So far the course feels like the loneliest part of my education and I'm often thinking it was a mistake. It's 2 years and I have no passion for it really. I've got until 14th December to complete an assignment. I have little will for anything, it feels like the first mistake in a day is being awake.
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depression
|
For example, I live in South Korea and what I feel after living in Korea for decades is that Korean society is extremely oppressive about Aspergians (even though I see the news that Aspergians have been abused, they are usually ignored). The general public's abusive language, hatred, and discrimination against Aspergians are very widespread in both reality and the Internet.
However, Korea is a society that lacks neurodiversity, but its economic performance was very great.
The proposition of neurodiversity has the implication that ignoring autistic people will destroy the society, but Korean society has been on an economic rise despite severe discrimination against Aspergians and misunderstandings and abuse of autistic disorders. Foreign countries praise Korea for becoming a world-class developed country from a poor country.
If it were what those who advocate neurodiversity said, Korea should have fallen very badly. But the reality is completely different.
|
aspergers
|
I don't really have any odd compulsions, just intrusive thoughts that pop into my head that I cannot avoid or get rid of.
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OCD
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So my bird died today and was sick. Two nights ago I got him out and fed him and gave him water. When I looked at his food dish I realize it looked full but it was only things he didn’t like to eat left. I’m terrified that I killed him because I didn’t realize the only thing left was his food he didn’t like. I cant remember the exact last moment I fed him and it’s tearing me apart. I feel like I killed him. I loved him so much and I can’t live with myself if I killed him
He didn’t look skinny at all and was actually the same he always was. And if he was hungry once he ate he would’ve been better right? I know this is reassurance but I don’t fucking care at this point I need some peace of mind over this
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OCD
|
Has anyone seen this movement? It’s a nice, easy way to show support to veterans by shining a green light on your porch. Anyone doing this?
|
ptsd
|
> In a statement of claim filed to the NSW Supreme Court, Simon Andrews, 48, is seeking millions of dollars in damages because he can no longer work due to chronic PTSD with associated depression and resulting alcohol abuse.
>
> A hearing before Justice Julia Lonergan is set to begin today when Mr Andrews will allege the RFS failed in its duty of care, was negligent and "failed to take any or any adequate care for the safety of the plaintiff".
>
> As a volunteer firefighter, Mr Andrews served in Illawong in Sydney's south and in the south-western suburb of Austral where he was "called out as a first responder," according to the claim.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-11-26/former-nsw-rfs-volunteer-suing-for-millions-damages-over-ptsd/11735540
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ptsd
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Has anyone done TMS for OCD? I’ve done every “first line” treatment and TMS has caught my attention.
|
OCD
|
I had this time where I dissociated from reality totally but my body was still functioning normally. Like in my
Mind I was at a friends birthday party celebrating with them it lasted all day I remember everything but in reality I was taking a taxi all around town. So not quite functioning “normal” cuz riding in a taxi all around town is not like me or worth the money ( it was multiple taxis actually in a city I have no business in ) but I was able to get in and out the taxis an talk to the drivers I guess but like I say I was not consciously there I vividly thought I was at my friends birthday party and it felt totally real.
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ptsd
|
Has anyone ever had this situation before or just get angry/ pressed or irritated about loud noises?: I live in an apartment and there’s a wired fire alarm in my unit. It keeps going off (chirping, not the alarm). It’s driving me freaking nuts. So I tell the landlord that I need it fixed. They proceed to let me know to just change the batteries iN tHe OtHeR AlArM not even the one I’m talking about. Then I’m like no it’s the other one and I clearly sent a video of it too. Then they say well just unplug that one. I told them I already did that and it’s still chirping. FINALLY they say oh it’s probably a backup battery making it chip. All the while I’m losing my freaking crap and my dog is too because it’s hurting his ears. Got-dam! It’s like they don’t really wanna fix anything/ make me fix it when I can’t even get the top off to stop it like sure id be more than happy to take a hammer to the stupid thing and smash it to pieces because I’m just about to.... Sorry for the rant but like why do loud noises like this make us want to punch stuff and lose our minds???? Like it shouldn’t be a big deal but it’s driving me insane. Rant over lol....
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aspergers
|
I don't have the means to start over and get it right this time. It's going to be decades of suffering because I was stupid. Terrific.
|
depression
|
So, I’ve been sitting on this for a few days now. Idk how to feel about it. The feedback I got back was there were patterns of neurodivergencies, but explained most of it away with ptsd. It feels like so much more than that. Maybe a trigger, but they referred to the symptoms of adhd as my inner child views (not my therapist) needing to be unlearned. It was invalidating or…. Let me gaslight myself. Is it the rejection of being wrong about my adhd symptoms?
I just want to feel better, ugh.
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ADHD
|
throughout the day, random questions will pop into my head and i’ll end up googling it. then i’ll end up down a rabbit hole on google regarding the topic i’m pondering.
the topics range from all sorts of things - the history of mac n cheese to philosophical questions to different types of dog breeds. and i’ll do this for hours at a time, depending on how much time is on my hands.
i feel like my constant research is what makes me appear intelligent - i can talk for hours about the most random things, just giving facts about them.
does anyone else do this?
|
aspergers
|
I don't like hurting people's feelings, make them mad or bother them in general. It can be difficult for obvious reasons, and it always makes me feel very guilty if it happens.
However, sometimes I put myself in situations which can really upsetting (types of work, certain social gatherings, talking to unsupportive family members). It makes me feel very upset afterwards. I thought it was because being an Aspie and I 'just can't handle life', but it's really because I was inconsiderate to my own needs and limits.
There has to be a way to handle things where everybody involved can be at peace. If that's not possible, then I guess it's just bad for us and we should cut it from our lives. What do you guys/gals think?
|
aspergers
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Anyone else deal with gross intrusive thoughts that literally won’t leave no matter what you do? It’s always something my brain randomly thinks of or something I see in like a show or movie that I deem really gross. My brain fixates on it and then imagines me eating the gross thing, and it’s so bad. It makes me gag. Anyone else relate?
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OCD
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Does anyone else see people at your window at night or someone on your stairs? Is this an OCD thing or am I going mental? I see things peeping under the crack in my door at night, I see things in my bathroom. This lanky, black, fuzzy figure constantly just behind me. I feel like I’m always being watched. I’m scared. I don’t feel safe anywhere I am. It’s constantly lurking behind me and I just can’t take this. I hate my stupid fucking brain
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OCD
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Hey guys!
I have a resource I would like to share with you. It is originally in norwegian, but I have found that it has been (unofficially) translated to english by forumusers Alexej and Aaron Winter at [Autismforums.com](https://www.autismforums.com/threads/adults-with-aspergers-a-user-manual-for-friends.31255/page-2). I can't vouch for the full translation, but at first glance it seems ok.
It is basically a user manual for friends of people with asperger. It is not too overwhelming (19 pages), to the point, and I find it very informative.
[Direct link to the document](https://www.autismforums.com/data/attachment-files/2019/12/61235_d4087c8681ee5825f226aef77cf9d0a4.pdf).
[Link to the norwegian original](https://autismesiden.no/userfiles/file/Brukerveiledning.pdf).
(Both are pdf-documents).
Hope some of you can find this useful as well.
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aspergers
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