body
stringlengths 51
39.8k
| subreddit
stringclasses 5
values |
|---|---|
I was attacked by a dog at my previous job. Afterwards I had nightmares, anxiety, panic attacks, the works. It took me 2 surgeries, lots of PT, and a full year to get to a point where I'd improved enough to be able to find work again.
I finally found a job I love! Working as a VA in a pet hospital!
Then yesterday I was working with the sweetest and calmest little pittie. She was giving kisses and wagging her tail and being so good while we did her intake and ran our tests. I had to stand over her and hold her for a blood draw, and it hit me all at once out of nowhere. I started shaking and I couldn't breathe. I was holding back tears until I had to put her away and had to have a break down in the back where no one could see me. For the next hour my hands didn't stop shaking and I couldn't even write on charts or draw vaccines. I had to take an early lunch and call my mom to have her talk me back down before I went back in to to finish my shift.
I couldn't figure out what it was that suddenly freaked me out when I'd been fine all morning. It wasn't until I talked it over with my mom that I finally figured it out. The pittie was nothing like the dog that attacked me. She looked, smelled, and acted totally different. But their eyes were exactly the same. I hadn't even realised it at the time that I was panicking.
It's so frustrating. I hate that I can't control it or myself when it hits me. I hate that I know that I'm fine and I'm not hurt and the dog wasn't being aggressive or acting scared, but my body doesn't want to listen and immediately goes into panic mode. I want to be capable of doing a job that I want and love, and I don't want to seem unprofessional or incompetent. I don't want this to be what holds me back from doing what I love. The feeling of being so out of control is horrifying.
I hate talking about it because it makes me so emotional. I've spoken to my mom about it, but sometimes it doesn't help. I've never wanted to ever have to see a therapist or a psychologist just because I hate talking about my problems in general, let alone ones like this. What do you do when this stuff just hits you?
|
ptsd
|
I have PTSD from abuse/ childhood trauma.
I have this thing where I've never been able to picture myself having a normal life/ future.
When I was a kid, I didn't believe that I'd ever have a relationship or that somebody would love me. Now that I'm grown up and married, I realize that I'm constantly waiting for my life to fall apart. Somehow I can't believe that things will turn out okay, and I'm always suspicious of being happy.
What should I do?
|
ptsd
|
This article talks about how Marco Rubio wants to pause student loan payments for victims of terrorism. I was diagnosed after a terrorist attack and I can tell you, there is no plan in this country to deal with the mental health crisis from increased terrorism. It’s true, many people may have a hard time with employment after an attack and may struggle to pay their bills. But you know what we really need is fair access to mental health services. We need more support in our normal lives. We need a culture that actually talks about the fallout from an attack and listens to people who lived through it. I feel like we barely react when we watch such incredible violence only increase nationwide. We’re setting ourselves up for a crisis.
https://www.theguardian.com/money/2021/jun/10/marco-rubio-student-loan-terror-attack-bill
|
ptsd
|
My schedule changes weekly, important information regarding things like deadlines sometimes gets communicated very last minute, communication overall is just very vague and it’s hard to get a clear answer to questions I might have.. They’re making it impossible for people with ADHD to function properly.
It’s ‘deadline week’ this week so yesterday evening I spend quite some time to create a homework schedule for myself. I wrote all the important dates down and made a plan for when I want to work on my different assignments. After I finished planning my week I felt a sense of calmness because I created structure and orderliness for myself and I finally felt confident that I was gonna do well. My calmness didn’t even last 12 hours, cause when I arrived at college this morning I was notified that the industrial equipment we need to finish our group assignment broke down, meaning it’s gonna take wayyyy more time to finish it than we intended to spend on it. I was also notified that one of my classes was rescheduled from Friday to Thursday, when Thursday was supposed to be my day off and I planned to finish 2 of my assignments that day. The deadline for these assignments is at 9am on Friday, meaning I will now likely have to pull an all-nighter if I still want to finish them on time.
How the hell am I supposed to function and plan ahead when my college keeps pulling shit like this? I’m seriously considering dropping out cause I don’t know how much longer I can cope with the amount of stress college is causing for me.
|
ADHD
|
I apologize for grammar and punctuation in advance
I’m writing a long-running fantasy comic book and one of the side characters has PTSD due to seeing his mother being burnt alive in front of his eyes I’m writing a storyline where the main character uses fire magic on an opponent the side character seeing this immediately goes into a panic attack and the two end up fighting is this realistic?
|
ptsd
|
I have been on a two years (applying for a third) leave of absence from university due to a **return of my depression and anxiety (i also have ADHD which I take methylphenidate 20mg for) in Nov 2019** which in retrospect may be have been **partly influenced by the stress of being so far behind in my course (2nd year undergrad) which was partially caused by getting distracted with computer games and not doing good prep => possibility of not getting good grades for Jan exams**. I was on prozac 20mg at the time and had been for 4 years previously. Have tried 8 new medications (mostly antidepressants) during this two years LOA and have not even received a partial response from any of them and thus have made very unsuccessful attempts at getting back into studying during this time. Here is a list of all the meds I have tried **since being originally diagnosed in 2014**
Zoloft - 2014
Remeron - 2014 - 2015: 15 - 45mg **2nd most successful but "stopped working"**
Prozac - 2015 - 2019: 20 - 40mg **Most successful but "stopped working" even when upped to 40mg**
Effexor - 2020
Leaxpro - 2020
Paxil - 2020
Fluvoxamine - 2020
Trazodone - 2021
Melatonin (for sleep) - 2021 **Did not help with sleep**
Antihistamine (for sleep) - 2021 **Partially helped with sleep. Unreliable**
Pregabalin - 2021
Quetiapine - 2021
Doxepin - 2021
I have tried CBT, aswell as a period of being medication free but this just makes me feel more fatigued and just confirms that the bare minimum effect of any medication needs to be additional sleep. Taking all of this into account there are only a few new viable medications left to try; amitriptyline and trimipramine.
My father also has depression and has had good success with 40mg prozac for nearly 30 years. That being said I have restarted prozac with the view to going to 40mg fairly quickly and seeing how I respond to the same medication situation but not the pressure of stressful fultime uni course. Its been 2 weeks on prozac 20mg and its given me disturbed sleep which has slightly improved in addition to a temperamental improvement in mood but theres part of me thats not confident about this and any other treatment plan I have. **I am also concerned that EVEN IF this prozac restart works and getting a good study prep before finally returning to uni in jan 2023 that I will never get better than a 2:1. I really really want to get a 1st. The thought of my max only being a 2:1 completely kills my motivation to go back to univeristy in Jan 2023**
Please let me know your thoughts.
|
depression
|
After a long 2 years of wanting out of a 4 year relationship I finally end it for good tonight. I feel free, already less depressed and I feel I'm heading in the right direction. For all those stuck and depressed in a relationship you just can't bring yourself to leave, I want let you know when you finally decide to make that move, just the realization of it being done is a rush in itself. I feel fantastic. I look forward to waking up tomorrow.
|
depression
|
Tired of waking up. Tired of letting people down. Tired of being such a failure. Tired of living this life. Tired of everything feeling so grey. Nothing seems to have any beauty or happiness tied to it anymore. Just so tired, once again I’m going to sleep with the hopes of suddenly dying and not having to wake up not having to open my eyes to see the worthless human that I am in the mirror again. Maybe I’m lucky tonight.
|
depression
|
... How did you guys make a decision on which home to purchase? I still struggle with alexithymia quite a bit. So... whenever I see a house, I have absolutely no idea how I feel about it...? How were you able to narrow down your choices and finally pick one?
|
aspergers
|
Not violently and preferably painless and quickly but I still want to know that I'm dying. This way my family doesn't have to have the shame and disappointment of me killing myself. That way it's just a terrible accident and they can move on quicker. I want to be dead but I don't have the will power to do it.
|
depression
|
I have pocd, and I tried to prove to my brain I’m not a pedophile, so when I was in a car ride with my sister and I in the back I acted like I slid on accident and I rubber on her arm a little with my arm to prove I wasn’t attracted, and I wasn’t. I’m glad I’m not a pedo, however I feel bad now since I think I may have done something creepy to prove it
|
OCD
|
Hi all.
I (20sF)have had a puppy for 7 months and he is the light of my life. He is also a teenager and a biter. I’ve spent the past few months fixating on him: training, health, animal welfare, etc. I’m in no way bored of him but I am very very tired. I’m his sole caretaker and I love him so much but what I wouldn’t give for a week or two off. He is exhausting to me at this point in time.
What do you do when you hit the burnout stage of hyperfixating? Obviously I am going to keep up with my commitments, but I’ve been struggling with executive dysfunction and depression so my capacity is low. Any tips or tricks?
|
ADHD
|
I need help for my driver's licence but can't find anyone.
The only person who can help is my step father but i rejected his help because he screams too much at me to the point where i become really nervous and can't drive anymore. (Also caused me a lot of trauma)
My mum who already drove with him keeps telling me to give him a chance agan and drive with him in order to get a car.
But the thing is that i know this man. Even when you think that he changed, he just doesn't . I told myself that i 'll never drive with him again and it is gonna stay like it.
In one week i have my driving test but i still don't have enough experience....
|
depression
|
I remember a few years ago I had a job in a small business with about 5 or 6 other people, one of whom was the head-man of everyone else. He'd hired me, and he was the only one who knew I had Aspergers, and for a while all the other employees treated me normally. I assumed they'd already known about it.
Then during a conversation with one employee I let it slip, thinking it was no big deal, and the next time I saw everyone, they acted completely differently towards me. They all spoke a little slower and treated me like I was a child. It was only a temporary job so I didn't bother making any noise about it, but the sheer disrespect still burns me up to this day.
Anyone else had an experience like this?
|
aspergers
|
Hey guys, I was wondering if anyone might have some advice for me.
I’m 16, in Year 12 (penultimate year of school for those in the USA), which is a fairly important year in preparing for A-Levels.
I’m now 5 essays behind. Because of my failure to do the essays I’m not allowed in lessons anymore, and I’ve had my free period privileges taken away. Things aren’t going well to put it lightly.
I’ve always struggled with doing assignments- especially longer pieces such as essays- and getting them turned in on time. Even short worksheets end up taking me much longer than they should to complete.
As I mentioned, essays in particular are a problem. The idea of sitting down to write something where I have to concentrate and unjumble my thoughts is daunting and always has been. Up to now I’ve been able to get away with doing them last minute, or not at all, but at this point in my academic life that’s no bueno anymore.
How do I get them done? I’m freaking out because I’ve got school in 20 minutes, and none are ready, or even started. I’ve had up to 4 weeks to do them. SOS guys, what do I do…
|
ADHD
|
I've come to realise that I only have an actual meal when I either cook for someone else, go out to eat, or having dinner with someone else in general. Usually, I just make myself something that would be classified as a side dish (like mashed/instant potatoes, for example).
Now it's not like I CAN'T cook, I think I can cook fairly well. But I normally just don't want to put in the effort because why should I if it's just me, y'know?
I just wanted to see if anyone else does the same because I've felt weird about it for a while ever since my mom's friend thought it was weird cooking mashed potatoes for myself months back.
|
ADHD
|
Do any of you have a way to forget intrusive thoughts other than doing activities?
|
OCD
|
Couple years ago, when I was about 11 I was on vacation with my parents in Bulgaria. One time I went swimming alone and it was a bad idea. Some older dude touched my butt, I got scared so I started to swim away from him but he grabbed my leg. I started screaming and he left me. I quickly ran out of the water but I've never told my parents about it.
Some time ago I told my two friends about it, and they just laughed it off.
I hate when people touch me and I often feel sick or uncomfortable because of it. I have no idea if this is somehow related to that event. I really don't know what to think about this and if I should tell this to my parents. I tried telling this to my therapist but Im too embarrassed. I have so many problems right now and I don't like to think about this, but what if this has something to do with my confidence, self-hatred or whatever. I don't know. Its so embarrassing to write about this and Im kinda scared but fuck it help.
|
ptsd
|
I struggle with starting things like cleaning or doing simple tasks and I read that I should either start super small or try out the pomodoro technique ( I wanted to start small with 1 Minute Working and Three Minute Break) But when I get into the break phase I never seem to get out of it or just ignore when the alarm goes off. What else can I try?
(English is not my first language)
|
ADHD
|
I got prescribed Vyvanse (30ml extended release) at the end of October, and after a couple weeks of taking it I feel like it’s not working anymore. I have had some pretty low/ineffective days this past week and I am having a pretty bad day today where I’m feeling really frustrated at super little things. I can’t focus and I feel like I’m going crazy just with normal things happening around me. My husband is neurotypical and says that I just am not making myself get up and do things but it feels different than that. Like I feel the difference of the first couple days that I took my medicine to now. Is this a normal thing when starting medicine or at I doing something wrong?
|
ADHD
|
I know this might be one of the most common questions asked there. So I'm another one of them lol. Sorry for the long post.
So I'm diagnosed with pure ocd as long with bpd. One year ago I was extremely unstable and I had what may be a psychotic episode. I'm confused bc my psychiatrist call it a psychotic episode (bc of the bpd), my therapist links it to ocd (and she didn't wanted to explain me clearly what happened bc of it, though she called me psychotic sometimes) and in the ER they told me I had 'capgras' syndrome and overvalued ideas. So what the fuck??
So I was dissociating A LOT and I couldn't think straight. my mind seemed empty. Like it was hard for me to make thoughts. And then suddenly I started to think that my loved ones where clones put there by aliens to watch me. That lasted like five days. I wasn't reading anything schizophrenia or psychosis related (I don't think I had psychosis ocd on that time) before nor anything. I had insight, like, I knew these things were probably not real, but I believed them (that might sound weird) and I was afraid. everything seemed like a nightmare. It just went away by itself five days after and I was okay and normal again. While I was having the 'episode' I read about delusions and things like that bc you know I have ocd and I needed to understand what happened to me. But I tried to forgot the topic when that thoughts disappeared and moved on with my life.
Five months after I had the same experience. this time I also thought people could read my mind (it wasn't mimicking psychosis bc of and obsession with developing it bc I wasn't thinking nor reading about it at all, I think) so I tried to not think at all or just repeat songs and sentences without meaning in my head. I also thought my girlfriend was gonna die bc of my fault. That lasted a week and it went away again. I had insight (not that much with the mind reading thing - like I strongly believed it, just accepted that it might not be real-, but I had insight with the alien thing - like ok thats happening again)
In my life I had another 'small' experiences in which I heard voices while stoned or in which one day I saw shadows talking about kidnapping me while I was going to sleep (I was running no sleep for like four days so I guess that was the reason). Sometimes I also feel that the music is talking to me (specially when I'm tired or stressed) or I see the world differently for no reason (can't explain this). When I was younger I also believed I was the messiah and also heard music in my head and things like that.
The thing is. I didn't have psychosis ocd when that happened but maybe now I have it lol bc I'm very afraid it will happen to me again and I don't know what to do. I don't fear developing schizophrenia or similar bc I think it's little possible but I don't wanna have psychosis nor this experiences again bc it's not fun. I don't take any meds btw.
I still get random intrusive thoughts like 'what if my loved ones are truly clones' but I think those are just intrusive thoughts so I accept them and continue with my life.
But I wanna understand what happened to me. And nobody gave me an answer. Is it normal or common to have those experiences in Ocd? Did you experienced something similar? Thank you all :)
|
OCD
|
I'm not employed and if I decide on doing going out or something, I come back home and sleep and then feel unmotivated that day to get anything done . When I was working, although my job started at 10 and finished around 1 or 2 pm it made me so exhausted.
I don't have an energy problem. I've had fatigue in the past but I recovered and has become completely normal . The only reason I get tired is because of doing things actively. I don't understand how people can work full time, be active with their kids and carry out project.
Since my studies are 100% online I want to do things besides it since staying infront of the computer for hours has been toxic for me. Unfortunately I get tired and that impacts my productivity so i can't get things done.
|
ADHD
|
i was diagnosed with ocd a few months ago and i was never too familiar with the disorder and i didn’t think i had it but i’ve been trying to understand how it manifests itself in my life. i have pocd and experience other obsessive thoughts but i’ve been wondering for a while if anyone else experiences these other forms of obsessions.
basically i have a thing for always getting my wording exactly right. i constantly switch back and forth and change my wording on conversations and texts i write because i hate not using words that feel exactly right. no matter how insignificant the conversation is or how small the difference between one word and the other is, i have to get it just right or i won’t be at peace. often when i feel like i worded something poorly or someone disagrees with me i find it very hard to move on and break down over the obsessive thoughts relating to the conversation. if my brain fixates on it, the situation will pop into my head basically everyday for months after it happens and i find these thoughts very hard to control. thr thoughts often lead nowhere and just go in circles, i get a lot of physical distress like headaches and i often get rashes from stress and also experience skin picking
i just wanted to know if anyone is obsessed with words too
|
OCD
|
I am experiencing some strange adverse side effects, and I think it might be from Vyvanse.
I’ve been taking the medication for almost 7 months now, and only very recently have I started experiencing something strange, and I’m wondering if others have felt this way before or have experienced this. I am starting to experience memory loss - note, I am only in my mid-twenties. I will forget important information like my address, phone number, how to spell basic words, peoples names - even when I see them everyday, and so forth. I usually have a sharp memory, but now for some reason, it feels clouded. Almost to the point where it’s debilitating.
After the Vyvanse wears off at the end of the night, my brain gets foggy and cloudy like I’m about to get a raging headache and things become exceptionally unclear.
I don’t feel an overwhelming urge to use Vyvanse, but it has helped me really focus and become more organized, so I keep taking it. It has immensely improved my performance in school when it comes to competely assignments in a timely manner and the quality of my work.
I am worried these might be early signs of dependency, and that is something that is deeply alarming. I, of course, do not want to become dependent on Vyvanse, even though it has improved my livelihood. At the same time, memory loss and this lingering clouded feeling after the Vyvanse begins wear off is unsettling as well.
Again, I am uncertain as to whether this is specifically linked to Vyvanse or not. I am just trying to see if others have had this same problem.
|
ADHD
|
Hello friends!
I've seen this topic on here hundreds of times. I think I'm just posting this now because I have to speak it out into the world.
I went to school for writing, all I want to do is write. I'm almost 30(M). Finally went to the doctor and was prescribed a low dosage of Ritalin at 23.
BUT. I have such troubles with self-imposed deadlines. The little tricks don't help. I am even able to push aside my perfectionism for the most part. No consequences or rewards really scratch the itch or rally me. Even seeking accountability from loved ones and writing peers doesn't help. I think, "Eh, what are they going to do? Kill ya?" Even thought about giving a friend $100 and have them pay me back when I reach certain writing goals.
My jobs are a news editor and baker. Those real world consequences and deadlines help me. There is nothing tangible here that will push me outside a few moments of inspiration and hyperfixation.
How do you deal with these types of deadlines? Ones with no real world consequences. Am I just doomed to never finish a story?
Sorry for being long winded and thanks!
|
ADHD
|
So I finally hit fuck it mode and went to a work party. I don't drink much and I also haven't been to a party before (24 yr old loser) so I was pretty nervous. And i thought to suppress that I should just drink more.
Yeah.......
I ended up getting really sick and my manager ended up having to help me. Fucking embarrassing. And to make it worse it feels like all my workmates are ignoring me now. My anxiety is on another planet. I fucking hate it. Talk about white girl wasted.
​
I messaged my manager this morning and she was so fucking nice. But i still feel like shit. What if shes faking nice. What if I go to work and get in trouble. Shit what is everyone going to say about me.
​
I regret everything.
​
Off to cry myself to sleep.
|
depression
|
Just came here because I’ve been curious about this recently. I have always felt very strong emotions while watching movies/reading books, like very strong emotions. I cry when the characters cry, I feel their pain completely as if it were happening to me. When I was a kid, I would have panic attacks while watching and even to this day I have to remind myself that it’s just a movie, that it’s not actually happening to me. My partner and I have been watching the walking dead, and if you’ve seen it, you know that so many great characters die, and every episode I am just crying my eyes out, my partner looks over at me and lightheartedly laughs during every sad scene because he knows I’ll be tearing up. I’ve watched many movies with many people and I have never seen anyone else react the way I do to movies/shows. I will try so hard not to cry during sad scenes (or even happy scenes), and I feel like there’s something wrong with me. I’ve also wondered if maybe there is a link between ADHD and feeling this way? Just curious if anyone else reacts this way (I’m absolutely sure I’m not alone in this, I just feel like a bit of an emotional wreck as no one I know reacts in the same way haha) thanks in advance!
TL;DR
Strong emotional reactions towards movies/shows and ADHD?
|
ADHD
|
It's like I'm speaking in cryptic riddles because I can't tell them the truth about how much pain I'm in. How much I don't want to hurt them so I can't be around them. Has anyone else been through This? Does it end? Is this what happens before you finally leave?
|
depression
|
OCD - the disease which thinks getting treatment is the bad thing
|
OCD
|
I just wanted to share a short story about yesterday. It was a great day, I had actually been pretty stress free. I got some cleaning done with my partner and we were on to getting dinner ready. Then it happened,out of nowhere. I feel like I can't breathe. My brain has decided it's over a decade ago and I'm laying in the back of my humvee right after getting hit by an IED. My service dog jumps on me in the super happy way she has because she's about to get the good treats. But that's not the worst part. The worst part was the emotional numbness I felt for the rest of the night. Anger would have been super easy. But love and happiness? They were nowhere to be found. The only way I can describe this feeling is that being so close to death, (or having your brain convinced you were just there), makes everything that you think matters in the world fall away. This bleakness is the worst part. But just like it always does, it passed. I've had PTSD for a long time now and this is the biggest thing I've learned. The darkest parts are always temporary.
|
ptsd
|
I have friends, I finally got with the person I was pining for, I have a job, I have this and that.
I have so much that I should be so happy about but none of it matters and I just don't know why. When I'm around friends, I never feel a sense of belonging even when I'm being invited. When I'm with her, I can never understand what she sees that's so desirable. I wish I could understand why she loves something I hate so much, and then I become so jealous of it that it makes me mad. Sometimes, it even makes me upset at her. I think I need to end things before I sour our relationship with self-pitying insecurity. I think I'm becoming miserable like my mom and that's one of the scariest things to me. I wish the thought of death came easier to me so I can just be over with it. I'm tired of climbing all these mountains in life just to reach a happiness that will never sustain me in the long run. I just want to get over that one big mountain called death and let it be over with. How do I make myself numb?
|
depression
|
That little girl inside me whose walls I've always felt; knocked on and broken and built more for. A long time ago she locked herself away so that I could be born. Alex. We are two pieces of the same soul. She bleeds now, and she bleeds into me. I feel her sadness and fear just as I feel my own. Like two movies playing at the same time. Different actresses, same story. I feel 9, 12, and 14 again. Small, shattered, and afraid. Ignored and isolated.
I feel regret as I didn’t protect her as I was supposed to. I feel as though she tried to warn me. I began to feel terrible before he did this. Every day I felt something crawling in my chest telling me something was wrong. I ignored her, labeled her as anxiety and depression. I chose him. I believed him over us that we had no reason to be afraid. When he stabbed me he went deep enough to stab her too. We built her so many walls so that I could live and I let her be stabbed again.
And yet the only time I let someone behind her walls was the only time I have felt a pure emotion. An emotion that I could call my own and have no doubt was true. And the first emotion to betray us both.
I’m sorry little girl. I don’t know what was right and what was wrong, but I know that I have enabled you to bleed through the walls that stood for a decade.
|
ptsd
|
* Which ADHD medication gives people the most alertness and energy?
* Which ADHD medication helps with feeling a little too neurotic?
* What dosing strategy works best for you?
* And of what medication?
​
Thanks in advance for your consideration and your responses....
The above portion is my original post... the lower part is what was necessary to meet the 300 character criteria for posting in this group... if it's too long, feel free to just focus on the above text as the summary and the following text might be interesting but you're off the hook for reading it...
​
TL;DR
Trying to keep these questions succinct and easy to read, but I guess there's a word count or character quota.... but I'd like to find out what people take to have the most energy. I am diagnosed with ADHD, ASD, Hypersomnia, Cataplexy or catatonia, and a long list of things... including depression, too. I think this means that I might have one issue being diagnosed 15 different ways... lol. I think I need help because I'm tired all the time and when I'm awake I can't function enough to complete daily tasks or pay attention to getting work done I'm just super hazy in my brain. I'm wondering if this is because I'm taking ADHD medication and that's what's causing the sleepiness... and I'm wondering if people have any advice..... the questions above are the ones I'd love to get answers to.... thanks so much! I also notice that certain things relieve some of the obsessiveness- like, if I drop something on the floor I can experience a wave of existential dread... but being on certain types of medications historically took that away and I could just clean it up without getting super focused on preventing something relatively minor from happening and spending 15 hours on multiple websites... I just clean it up and move on...
|
ADHD
|
People probably think I'm sicko. Especially the sexual taboo thoughts. Idk man. Just been feeling weird. I don't enjoy these thoughts nor would I act on them. It just sucks
|
OCD
|
I never visited a psychiatrist to diagnose me of ADHD because neither of my parents believe me, but I know that I have combined type ADHD. I'm only going to talk about my hyperactive symptoms but as a side note: it was my inattentiveness that made me realize I had ADHD.
I used to be a very talkative person, I would blurt out anything in my head and would constantly jump from one story to another (which my teacher didn't really like and never failed to mention on my reports haha). I either never sat down for a long period of time or just wouldn't be able to sit still- at school, church or planes I would go to the bathroom not because I actually needed the bathroom but I just couldn't... sit?
Well, over the year I developed social-anxiety, trust issues and a very low self-esteem which made me become a very quiet and introverted person (it's complicated but really long so I won't get in to detail). As a result I became more fidgety than I was before and because I stopped talking to anyone including my family I talked to myself more- which sucks when I want to focus on work.
But every time I read articles about ADHD, it *always* says that people with combined type ADHD are talkative and extroverted and only ADHD-PI are introverted and quiet. I'm so confused, am I just not hyperactive?
|
ADHD
|
Every friend or family member I’m close to tries to help me, but I never get any better. They try to offer me advice, they try to distract me from my pain, they try to be there when I need them, but I know that they’re sick and tired of trying to make me better. People can only tolerate my bullshit for so long and then they either expect a noticeable improvement or they don’t want to deal with me anymore. I wish I could be better. It’s like they don’t know that I want to be better. I want to be happy. I want to feel good about myself. I want all of those things, but I seem to be irreparably broken. It doesn’t matter how many times someone gives me healthy advice or encourages me, I always stay the same. I don’t want to bother people anymore so more often than not I shove my feelings down because I know nobody wants to hear about how shitty I’m doing for the millionth time. It doesn’t help that a lot of my problems are things that are out of my control. I know that I cannot control the actions of others, only myself, so it hurts when I need something from other people and have no way of getting it. Not to even get started on the reality that what I need most is to love myself (which I hate as an idea because it sounds tremendously cliché and because I don’t know how to do it).
|
depression
|
Hello,
Just curious what has helped you best manage/reduce nightmares, from therapies to prescription meds to herbal remedies to drugs.
I’ve had chronic nightmares for years and they are typically tolerable, but have gotten so much worse after my most recent trauma, which really amplified the effects of the others. I now wake up feeling uneasy and nauseous, and I’m so terrified to go to sleep that I’m doing everything I can to keep my body awake. Even a short nap can somehow produce 2 nightmares that feel like forever.
I have a long history in psychiatric treatments and I am a healthcare provider myself. I do understand the professional help needed and I am exhausting every available route, even to the point of inpatient care. I am hoping maybe some of you know of something I haven’t tried yet.
Thank you dearly for your time, from the bottom of my heart.
|
ptsd
|
Is ASD Level 1 a cultural issue? The problem is that countries have their own definition of what ASD level 1 is and I can be considered normal in first countries and be considered to have ASD level 1 in countries number two.
I have history of being diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder when I was in Israel. I was still diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder until 2013. in 2013 I was considered to have Autism Spectrum Disorder.
As a person with Autism Spectrum Disorder, I was wandering if I can be considered normal in specific countries that accepts abnormal cultures, communications and behaviors, even though what is normal to do in another countries might not be normal to do in U.S.A. and in Israel.
|
aspergers
|
I can never go out on weekends because there's so much shit I have to catch up on from during the week... which I would have gotten through had I put my ass up and nose to the grindstone or however it goes... it's like I'm always stuck in a limbo between work and play, so I enjoy the benefits of neither.
Every now and then I'll work hard (usually prompted by an imminent deadline with disastrous consequences) and feel pretty damn good about it, but sure enough I'm back on my bullshit before I know it.
If I allowed myself to focus on play without guilt of the work I had not done, It would never get done, and soon enough I would be playing with cockroaches on the sidewalk and living in a shopping trolley.
Can anyone else relate?
|
ADHD
|
Hey guys i desperatly need answers. This all started a couple of days ago, I was tired of doing mental rituals or trying to distract myself. I thought of my intrusive htought on purpsoe and mentally just let go, this kind of became a compulsion. After that i started thinking about other sexual things I didn’t agree with. I dont know why but I did and I cant stress, how much i hate them. I think I thought of them because I wanted to be in control or something, whenever i saw someone i purpsoely thought of them sexually not because I was attracted ot anything, just cuz, now its killing me. Can someone help me?
|
OCD
|
I just lost a family member and was wondering if anyone has experienced a time of grief and dealt with your ocd at the same time? Mine has largely stayed low during this time but I have had several issues Of triggers that have been rough.
|
OCD
|
So I started to cope quite well by sitting with the anxiety, letting the thoughts wash over me instead of ruminating, but I’ve just had a new thought that is really bothering me.
I’m a pretty clumsy person, and probably about 3-4 times in my adult life I’ve knocked my head quite badly, and I’m now worrying that by knocking my head it’s made me forget things I’ve done and actually my intrusive thoughts are all true?!
My thoughts tend to be ‘what if I did this’ such as cheating or abusing someone etc.
It’s really freaking me out!
|
OCD
|
This whole past month has been a progressive worsening of all my symptoms and bad habits plus overwhelming stress.
I cant tell who I am, I cant tell what I want, I feel like I cant trust my partner and they might turn on me, I feel so paranoid and sad and angry all of the time. Just crying spells everyday, frustration, brain fog. uhg. This is the worst it's been in a very long time. I just need to vent, I feel like I cant take this anymore. I don't know whats wrong with me, why can't I be normal. Why is this so hard.
I will tell my therapist about this, I just wanted to vent to people who know exactly what this is like. Like drowning in the ocean, but its yourself.
|
ADHD
|
Hi, I'm undated\_appendix. Yesterday I went to counseling for the first time. It was just an assessment. On the intake paperwork, they asked why I was there. I put anxiety. I knew that I had been abused by my ex-boyfriend, which finally ended about 18 months ago. I figured that anxiety wasn't my only problem, but . . .
The consulting psychologist (who will not be my therapist, because I requested a female) asked me if I ever experience flashbacks or nightmares. I said yes. He asked if I'm hypervigilant and if I get frightened easily (like when someone walks behind me). I said yes. He asked if I wanted to talk about what happened, and I said no . . . which is weird for me, because I tell everyone everything (I have ADHD, can't keep my mouth shut).
He said, "Have you ever thought you might have PTSD?"
It caught me off guard. I have thought of it, and it's why I sought therapy in the first place -- because I was afraid this dark, scared, angry feeling might turn into that. I didn't think they would bring it up like that.
I can't get it out of my head. Obviously he probably didn't diagnose me in one half-hour meeting, but he basically said it.
I'm glad that there's a name for it, I guess. But I also don't like it. When I got diagnosed with ADHD last fall, it /felt like me/. It was an answer for how horrible I'd been feeling and how badly I'd been doing on school, and with help for my ADHD, life got better. Well, until now, I guess.
Anyway. I go through phases where I'm "okay", and then phases where I'm not like myself at all. I feel like the latter today. I'm anxious and worried about it, about therapy, about having PTSD. I don't want to tell anyone. This feels safe . . . no one knows who I am or who did this to me.
Anyway. I'm looking forward to reading your posts and gleaning advice from them. Thanks for this space.
|
ptsd
|
I'm a PhD student. I participated in a virtual competition this morning, I have a proposal due tomorrow at midnight, and I have to present a seminar to my entire graduate department tomorrow. On top of that, I also have an experiment that I have to get to on Tuesday, and if I don't get to it, it WILL screw up my study. The experiment is about a 2.5 hour drive away, and starts at 7am, which means I have to leave either Monday night, when the paper will be due, or absurdly early Tuesday morning, which also isn't ideal.
I went to pick up a couple groceries when the competition was over, feeling good, planning to work on my paper once I got back, and my car broke down on the way. So I broke down. Because instead of picking up the groceries I needed, I was sitting in my useless car waiting for a tow truck while my brain spiralled as I realized I wouldn't be able to get to my experiment because I won't have my car. And then how this is time I need to be spending on my proposal because I wouldn't have time tomorrow due to the seminar and the drive, but that I couldn't work on my proposal because I was stuck waiting in below freezing temperatures for a tow truck. And then because the tow truck alone would cost more than I could afford, so how on earth was I gonna pay for repairs? And then my mom tried to help me talk out the problem, but I absolutely hate people seeing or hearing me cry, so on top of the overwhelming anxiety and panic setting it, I was also feeling humiliated because my mom was witnessing it. And then I impulsively hung up on her because it became clear that if my car problems were serious enough, I would not make it home for Thanksgiving, and they were not willing to come out to see me. So then my dad angrily texted me to call her back once I calmed down, which I still haven't done, because even though I've been calm now for hours, I still don't want to talk about it.
And I know now that I overreacted. I knew it as it was happening that I was overreacting. I was wiping the tears off my face getting even more frustrated with myself because I knew I shouldn't be so upset. That I'm an adult and I should be able to handle stress better. I think that's the worst part, being aware even as it's happening that I should be doing better than I'm doing. But now I'm just exhausted and I'm dreading doing any of the things I need to do tonight and I wish my ADHD brain would just handle my emotions for once.
|
ADHD
|
Obviously this isn't a yes or no question but I wanna hear your personal take.
|
ptsd
|
I just got my diagnosis after years of thinking I might have ADHD. I always felt like there was a wall blocking me from my true potential. I went through this period of time where I just felt hopeless because I didn’t feel like I could do anything. Now that I have my diagnosis, and I’ve been put on methylphenidate, the generic Concerta extended release version. My first day taking the pills was incredible. Hi I saw some thing that just needed to be done, and I just did it. I brushed my teeth for the first time in a while with no hesitation. I saw trash in my car and I just took it out. It felt like the wall in my brain finally fell down.
However, now I feel like a new person, and I don’t know who I am. I am excited to figure out who I am now, but it’s weird. It’s like pre-ADHD diagnosis me was a sad lonely girl with no future, and new me is an excited, eager to learn woman ready for the future. I finally feel like an adult. I feel like I have control.
Here’s the thing. How do I learn more about my new self? Is this normal? If it is normal, how do you figure out about yourself? How come nobody talks about this more if it is normal?
|
ADHD
|
I recently was diagnosed with OCD, it’s been a hell of a ride honestly, & it’s gotten worse even since my meds started.. my compulsions are wiping of small imperfections, especially on my car, I also search for spiders on my car before I get in, because my mind tells me that I’m going to die if I don’t take care of it.. my car is my SAFE PLACE, so i’ll do anything to protect it.. but I am tired of standing in the rain, cold & everything else just trying to make sure that I don’t go crazy.
|
OCD
|
When someone dies, everyone's like "oh, they're in a better place now, they're no longer suffering". But if I try to send myself to that " better place" so I no longer have to suffer, they say it's sinful and selfish and cowardly! And of course as soon as I go ahead and actually do it... "Oh, he's in a better place now, he's no longer suffering"! What the fuck?! If you really cared about me, you'd let me go so I could be relieved of my agony! But all you want to do is assuage your conscience and tell yourself that it's not your fault... Fuck you, "loved ones"! You don't give a fuck about me! You just want to keep me alive for your own selfish reasons! When I do it, you'll know that I'm in a better place - and it's better because you're not there!
|
depression
|
Hi, I'm in an Autism discussion group on zoom. The group is run by an autistic woman. The group is all gender inclusive. We have a meeting every Monday at 6:00 PST. Today Monday May the 17th at 6:00pm PST, we will be meeting on Zoom. Meetings are usually 2 hours. If you are interested in attending please send me a private message and I will give you the Zoom link to join.
|
aspergers
|
Lately, even after washing something like the bathroom with bleach and vinegar and washing my hands afterwards, I still feel dirty. Its like because I know something was dirty before impacts the way I behave around that thing afterwards - unlike the bathroom at my parents house or something.
Does anyone have tips or can anyone relate to compulsively cleaning? 🤷🏼♀️
|
OCD
|
I've seen people discuss how task anxiety and indecision can lead to near-catatonic states in people who have ADHD, but I haven't heard of many strategies for dealing with this. I'm trying my hand at school (and meds) for the first time in over 5 years and it's been really emotionally taxing even when I'm not directly working on anything.
The meds are seeming to help in a general sense and I'm glad that I'm taking them, but I'm finding I involuntarily shut down if I feel even a little incapable of approaching a task. I've only ever experienced this degree of brain grid lock with PTSD related issues. I don't \*think\* trauma related techniques would help, but like I said, I have no idea on how to even start addressing this.
Have any of you worked out a way to deal with some of these feelings?
|
ADHD
|
Hi everyone! So I just got switched to Adderall XR today. Each tablet is 10 mg, although I’m allowed to take two a day. I took 20 mg before my first day at my new job today (probably shouldn’t have started with 20 mg whoops) and things were actually really great, I could finally start paying attention to things and not have so much anxiety when talking. It was easy for me to remember and pick up tasks and smaller things to remember. I felt motivated to do my job which was great! The only thing that I’m really concerned about is this really uncomfortable feeling in my stomach/heart as I’ve been on it today. It feels like an extreme amount of butterflies in my stomach, like I’m about to go on stage and am super nervous, but the feeling won’t go away?? I think my heart is just freaking out, which then affects my stomach and it’s like a mixture of the two and it’s so uncomfortable. Is this a normal side effect? Did any of you guys experience this? Will it go away? Today honestly seemed great on the medication, I also felt the need to constantly be doing something, I was also very talkative with my coworker (is that normal on the meds?). The only problem is that weird yucky anxiety feeling in my heart and tummy. Should I take 10 mg tomorrow and see how that works? Or should I take 20 mg and see if those symptoms go away after a week or so? Thanks for your advice!
|
ADHD
|
I have a reactive dog, that I had before I was diagnosed, and I have been working with him his whole life to recover and he has come very far. He had a pretty traumatic first year, and his issues aren't his fault.
I had to learn to be really patient and give him a lot of grace to work through his issues, and I accidentally learned to do some of that for myself and my adhd in the process. It's not his fault he is reactive, its not my fault my life is affected by adhd. I guess I can be kind to myself too, sometimes.
It's very comical to me because he responds incredibly well to structured stimulation and consistent expectations, and so do I. The first thing that happened when I got diagnosed and medicated was I started trying to build more structure into my day to help him, and whoops it helps me too.
He has an expectation we'll do some training work, and even if I dont feel like it I often will get going because he is so happy and excited to engage with me. And then once I've gotten engaged in doing productive stuff, it kinda flows over to the other things in my life. We did some training, then well I guess I can also fold this laundry, and then I guess I can pick up the dirty laundry and put it by the washer, and oh I guess I might as well load the washer.
My dogs have always helped me a lot in my life, but its really become apparent to me why lately, and has helped even more now with treatment. I've build one structured thing into my day, and its making a frame work I am hopeful I can add on to. Now I just need my husband to follow me around and click and treat when I'm bein productive, haha.
Anyways, it made me happy. I trained my dog and accidentally trained myself to be kinder with my own issues. I think thats a nice success. Thanks for letting me share.
|
ADHD
|
My parents were drug addicts my family is broken I tried to slice an artery a few years back. I just want to know if life will always be so hard with “no parents” and how to cope.
|
depression
|
I'm sitting waiting for a call from an ADHD coach, she's late.
The last coach I reached out to missed our first two scheduled calls and was 48 minutes late when I actually got to speak with her. I understand that ADHD coaches also have ADHD, but if they are coaching I don't know how I can take them seriously if they can't keep their appointments.
The call was also a shitshow, I've got less clarity about what it the coaching is and more doubt than ever before.
Note: I'm also a coach and I just can't see how coaching can work if appointments are this hard to set up, not kept and the process is completely ambiguous.
Can anyone help me out with what to look for in a coach?
Or alternatives like a course?
|
ADHD
|
Does anybody else constantly feel so far removed from their own experiences that they feel like they're just a casual backseat driver in their own life?
I struggle to stay present and be in the moment for happenings or social events to the point where I'm left wondering how other people can socialize and communicate effectively as if it's some entirely foreign phenomenon to me..... and I know it can get better, but it doesn't feel like it oftentimes
|
ptsd
|
Is there anyone on here who has suffered with PTSD after a traumatic labour experience and would be willing to share their experience with me? An online questionnaire said I was at 'high risk' of PTSD but at this point I've been on a waiting list for the last 5 months to start therapy (and that's the shortlist) and discuss that I think I've got PTSD. I just want someone to talk to in the mean time who may understand where I'm coming from.
|
ptsd
|
I made a post about making a major change to computer science a few days ago. It’s something I want to do, I’ve registered for the classes, made a schedule, looked in to what I need to complete. Made a study time table for winter break to maybe get ahead (since I’m making this change in my sophomore year, a little late)
But how do I know this isn’t just my adhd making me want to choose a new career path or new hobby or new activity for dopamine. These things make me so stressed. Because I do know that I pick up new hobbies quiet often, and abandon things fairly quickly, I’m not saying that is what will happen, I really hope it’s not, I can’t afford to change my major any more times 🥲
|
ADHD
|
I haven’t been taking care of myself what so ever because I had my finals and my parents and me are fighting right now, but I finished all my final test/projects, took a shower, and I made my bed. I even worked out a bit! But I haven’t cleaned my room or anything so I’m still a long ways from recovering from the last weeks of finals. But I’ll find the strength at some point to do it. If you guys have suggestions to help me motivate myself to clean it would be helpful!
|
depression
|
Basically, I worked in ems for about 6 months, 3 years ago. I had a spontaneous onset, according to my therapist. But I don't feel valid enough for this to happen to me. I always thought, at least in first responder sense, that ptsd was for those who had been in it for years, not half of one. I was only 19 when I worked and I had seen some bad stuff, but I didn't think I had seen enough trauma for it to be traumatic to me. I just got diagnosed Tuesday and it's been messing with me since. I just don't feel like I'm valid enough for this diagnosis. I hope I don't offend anyone, as I know that ptsd affects everyone differently. I just don't think 6 months is long enough to have been affected by the calls. Thank you all, and all of you are incredibly strong!
|
ptsd
|
Hi team, Its been at least 7 years since I first went on this reddit, I was about 15 years old.
At the time, I was in a depressive state although I don't reflect on it too much now. I often thought about moving on in simple terms but I never planned on actually doing anything about it. I knew deep down something was wrong. I hated living at times. My lifestyle was not great despite having friends, sports and an amazing family surrounding me. It was an extremely tough time for me and I needed to reach out to people, so I came here.
The support from several individuals on this Reddit was overwhelming, they treated me like I was their family from all the way across the world despite having never met them. I know their feedback helped me because I think about it to this day all these years later. I wasn't alone and things DO get better.
I'm now 21 years old and have completed my degree. I have a beautiful girlfriend, still an amazing family, an amazing career and an incredible group of friends supporting me. I absolutely love my life and I have not since had any depressive thoughts for many years now. I've had countless adventures that I never expected, met knew people, travelled places, tried new things. I feel a bit weird saying it but as far as I know, I only have one life, and I plan on living it no matter what.
I'm writing this because now is the time for me to give back to this community and say thankyou to those who helped me all those years ago, I will never forget your support and love. I also want those who are going through something similar to hear my story and understand that life is hard but it WILL get better. Your situation may be different to mine but what remains always the same is that there are people in this world who love you, I love you, you are wanted and appreciated no matter your circumstances. You have so much to do, learn and see. Keep fighting, be strong, you can and will get through this.
|
depression
|
How can get myself running everyday ? I used to run almost everyday when I was I teen once or twice a day then I suddenly I quit for no particular reason. Now I am 25 years old I am still wondering why I quit , I was very active and healthy but on the other hand I was a little bit obsessed ( body dismorphya?) .
|
ADHD
|
Hello! I'm not sure where to go with this question, but if you can't help me answer it maybe you can point me in a direction!
I'm a 20 year old female in Dallas Texas , yeehaw, and I just got diagnosed with combined type ADD through my school. From my reading I understand that ADD is not a term used any more but nonetheless that is what I was diagnosed with ? So ? Anyways. My school offers counseling and all that in my tuition (woohoo, I'm in debt) so thats how I was diagnosed. I'm in therapy and on antidepressants (venlafaxine) through the school psychiatrist, but he cannot prescribe ADD/ADHD medicine because they are controlled substances.
A normal person would now consult a doctor right? Well I don't know where to go from here. I'm not gunna sit here and shit on my mom, but she's been a bit of a lazy parent. This October I went to the dentist for the first time in my 20 years of living. My teeth are basically ruined. I've been sexually active since I was 16 and made her aware of that then, and that I wanted to get on contraceptives, but she still hasn't made an appointment, she knows about my mental health issues and has since I was roughly 14 and even with my pleading never bothered to get me help. All that to say I haven't been to a doctor (besides through my school and recently the dentist) in about 7 or 8 years, and that was when we lived somewhere else. So I don't know how to even consult or find a doctor. I have constricted government insurance that I don't know much about because my mom keeps that information from me, and most of my family are very much against medicating young people, so I can't just ask my mom or aunts for help, they will tell me I'm fine, it's in my head and i don't need medicine, I just need to touch some grass and try harder (:
I have an older brother who I think might help, and a couple cousins, but I really wanna do it on my own because I don't want to risk my mother finding out. And I'm an adult now. I've come this far I wanna do it all. I want to keep my families involvement in my medical things very minimal. The reason I want to for sure become medicated is because my ADD is very much affecting my schooling. I've lost several scholarships and am a stone's throw from academic probation. I'm at my wits end here and an grasping at strings. This is really my last hope.
So yeah, how do I get a prescription? Where do I go? What do I Google? I'm just asking for general guidance here. I hope I've provided all the necessary information.
TDLR- my mother hasn't taken me to a doctor in 7 years and is mildly medically abusive, so I don't know who to go to or how to go about getting a prescription for my combined type ADD.
|
ADHD
|
I have this bad habit of thinking if I'm doing laundry, I need to wash everything I own at the same time. I don't have my own washer and dryer but there is one close to where I live.
Today, I decided that for once, it didn't matter if I washed all the laundry, that it was ok to wash what I need and worry about the rest another day. So now I'm waiting on the machines with my multiple alarms set on my phone so I don't get bored and forget, lol.
|
ADHD
|
I just found this sub today and I think I have found my tribe. I always knew there was something different about myself. I've never been formally diagnossossed, although I have had close family suspect that I am autistic along with a psych that also suspected it.
I've always just felt like I'm from another planet; I'm just not like most people. My intwests are so different, even as a young teen and adult. My interests are classical and electronic music, reading non-fiction and biographies, writing and researching. i'm not in to gosip, fashion or small talk. i also need to have my brain constantly stimulatted; reading, researching or writing along with compossing keeps my brain active.
I also have so-sory issues. Certain food can make me feel like I'm going to throw up, and if I have to pick food up with my fingers I'll have to wipe the greese off them straight away. I also don't like wearing socks at all, even in the winter, and am very fussy about the clothing I can tolerate.
I think I will like it here, but I also want to know what other subs there are for people like myself.
|
aspergers
|
I hate knowing that in other for me to function, that I need these pills. Not to shame or put anyone down, I'm just new to taking meds and I hate how I feel.
|
OCD
|
So I’ve been mentally and physically abused/ bullied for 11 years in my youth from when I was 7 till I was 18 years old including emotional neglect and abuse from my narcissistic father and it resulted in me having PTSD/CPTSD & abandonment trauma and more.
Main symptoms I got were social anxiety, chronic stress, panic attacks. flashbacks, dissociation, palpitations, depression etcetera.
One of the most difficult things was that through the years I had much trouble connecting with others on a deeper level because often I would go in freeze mode when people tried to come close to me.
This resulted in intense loneliness..
I miss love and intimacy very much.
Is this common for people with PTSD/CPTSD?
|
ptsd
|
I feel like I have wasted the last ten years trying to get a variety of careers. I feel like I can't pass any test for the life of me. I feel like everyone else has an easier time grasping content and I have this built in ability to not understand anything. I'm constantly in search of something, anything to get me out of my family's house and become successfully independent. I'm too slow, I'm too high strung, anxious, nervous, can't multitask, can't handle pressure, and I feel like I'm just straight up pathetic. I'm a horrible excuse of a human being that can't make friends, can't contribute anything to society, and I'm just at a total loss.
I don't know how to talk to people. I don't know how to ask questions. I don't know how to communicate. I misunderstand a lot. It's just all downhill from here.
|
ADHD
|
I feel so terrible. Last night I got very drunk and drove home blackout. I don’t remember the drive. And now I’m freaking out thinking I’ve killed people and don’t know. Like maybe I caused an accident. I’ve told a couple people and they say that I just need to do better and never do that again. But I’m thinking maybe I should go to the police and see if there were any accidents that were caused by my kind of car.
|
OCD
|
Lately, I've been thinking of ending things. I can't see how things will get better for me and I feel it's far too late to try and salvage the dreams I had when I was younger. Let me explain...
When I was little, I wanted to be a game designer. It's literally all I wanted to do. I would make games in elementary, middle, and high school with rules and conditions, environments, characters, and backstories. I would play games not just for fun, but for studying. Understanding the ins and outs of the game, and eventually trying and teaching myself how to implement those mechanics. I have a wild imagination and didn't want it to go to waste. Despite being homeless multiple times as a kid, not having electricity or food to eat, I held on to these dreams. Hell, I even knew what company I wanted to work for. This was the only reason I felt I needed to graduate high school. I knew what college I wanted to go to. This was a meticulous plan I build upon for over a decade. So what happened...
In my last semester of high school, I went to live with my father because I couldn't be in the same shelter with my mother and sisters (I was 18 at the time). During this time I was able to finish high school and I had planned to go to community college, then transfer over to the same college I'd been planning on going to for a while. But a few weeks before I graduated, my father ask me what my plan was the day after I graduated. More so, how was I gonna eat, pay rent, etc. I was slightly confused because I was told NOT to get a job and just focus on school. So I was a bit perplexed and scare to actually tell him because I thought he was gonna kick me out.
His "recommendation" was that I join the service, same as my brother. I swore off joining any branch because I already knew what I wanted to do with my life. But then he said if I didn't have a plan, he would institute his own plan. And the service was in his plan. I asked him flat out "Will you kick me out?". He replied, "There are plenty of people you can stay with". Unfortunately, I caved and started talking to recruiters and eventually enlisted in the military. The plan of staying for just the initial contract became a career spanning over ten years. I was 19 when I went in.
Got out at the beginning of this year. I left because I felt myself falling deeper into depression as I got older. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my time in, but it wasn't what I actually wanted. I never wanted this. I was ready to risk it all just to achieve my dreams when I graduated high school. But traded it for security and safety. So where did this lead me...
Using my military experience, I'm looking for a job, and I'm constantly getting rejected (I have a strong background in administration). I'm behind on all my bills and rent, barely surviving. On top of that, school isn't working out too well (hybrid online). And to be honest, I just look at my life as one big failure.
I look back and I fear it's far too late for me to follow that plan I'd made decades ago. To follow my dreams. I feel that anything I do towards that goal will take another decade to see the fruits of my labor or so, and I barely have enough willpower to make it through the day. And I don't see a point in me continuing living. I feel like my existence is a burden, and I'm very tired. Just very, very, tired. I sleep a lot. I barely eat, and when I do, it's usually just pizza rolls because it's easy on my pockets.
I think I just wanted to tell this story before I go. I just hope that in my next life, I'm better.
|
depression
|
In short, I moved states this year and my license didn't reciprocate when I arrived even though it was supposed to. I can't keep my job after this year (teacher) which means I can't pay for my new home and so I've spiraled into deep depression and anxiety. Recently bought Pokemon Shining Pearl for my Switch and took it to work to play during lunch to take away some depression. I tweeted about playing during break last week to my gaming twitter (I stream on twitch as a side hustle) and principal saw it today and made a passive aggressive reference to it in an email today.
I've never once been reprimanded for ANYTHING in my career (year 6) and I feel like the world is falling in on me. Please help me feel better.
|
depression
|
I am going to preface this post with the disclaimer that this is very very difficult for me to post about. I can tell you upfront that I already feel like a very stupid person and a horrible failure as a mother for the things that have happened to our family. So please go easy on me in the comments. I understand that the best defense against manipulative people are strong boundaries and self-esteem, but when you have a family where most of its members have gone undiagnosed until adulthood (or close to it) it creates a complex set of problems.
I have known that we were not like other people for a long time and searched for answers. I/we have been through many therapists and mental health professionals that failed to put their finger on the real problem and diagnose any of us with autism. It wasn't until my youngest was diagnosed a couple of years ago that I had that light bulb moment - finally understanding what was different about us and why.
So please go easy on me in the comments. I don't think I can feel worse or more stupid than I already do. And the topic that I don't really talk to people about because it's embarrassing.
My entire family is neuro-atypical. The autism and ADHD run strong here, and between my partner, myself, and our children (two teenagers and a five year old), each person has some mix of autism, ADHD, or both. None of us were diagnosed with autism until after my 5-year-old was diagnosed at the age of three, so the autistic members of the family have lived most of their life undiagnosed autistic. for example, my partner was just diagnosed autistic at the age of 44 just a few months ago. We all have some pretty severe problems with social skills and navigating social situations.
Over the years, we seem to have attracted a special type of manipulative person - a type that manipulates our family relationship dynamic. Some have been more destructive than others, but it's bad enough that we are to the point that we've decided we just cannot have family friends anymore (because we have proven time and again that we don't spot the manipulation until it's to a severe degree).
I called the National Domestic Violence hotline to see if there is a name for this phenomena or if it is just me/us that this happens to. They said there was no known name for it, and both counselors that I talk to had never had another call like mine.
I'm just putting the question out there. Has this type of thing happened to anybody else in this group? Does this ring a bell with anyone? I feel like I must be a special sort of stupid to have attracted people like this and not spotted it sooner.
|
aspergers
|
Why does my aspie friend NOT talk with me about his special interest? Is he masking and not wanting to info dump?
|
aspergers
|
This question is directed towards people with musics interests (but could apply to any hobby really) but how difficult is it to pick up an instrument with ADHD? I’ve had issues trying to find something that holds my attention after gaming/reading, and I’ve always wanted to learn to play the cello. What difficulties should I expect, outside of the norm? (idk how to phrase that)
|
ADHD
|
*might contain suicidal & self harm*
suddenly everything crash into me and make me so stressful & so much depressed again. Well I mean I usually depressed cause My friend don't care about / I don't really have any friend, no one cares me, most of my hard work ended up become failure, No one appreciate me. Then I guess all those feeling I feel everyday just got more bottle up, so some days before is my birthday, the most annoying day 'cause I born w/ shitty life like this, it annoy me so much that I still alive & experience my birthday again, then the day after my birthday , my mom want a divorce ( I'm not sure if it's official divorce / they just gonna life to different place but still in term married ). I'm not sure if the thing that annoy me is the divorce / it's i'm annoyed to both of them. Both of them didn't even try to talk , they nagging / didn't listen to each other / try to understand each other... what annoying is my mom said she married father because she feel like he was her match.. f... Also this not the first time, they went into big fight because my father play w/ other girl some 8+ yrs ago when I'm still elementary school , I still remember it & my father didn't learn and this stuff happen again. This stuff make me hit bottom rock, I already feel shitty being born yesterday & now the one who give me life is like this... if only these 2 never married , I might not gonna experience any of this shitty feeling. I'm sure this is a really wrong think, but not my head keep filled up with these more lately like it's better if I never being born / etc. I do have a brother tho but he's about to work & he always busy with himself.... All this stuff make me back cutting again, there's a time again that I want to kill myself before new year....
I remember my counselor said that if I have negative thoughts/ being depressed but I still can do my work it's not big a deal, I really want to said she's wrong tho.. I bet this become way too long.. I'm sorry after all I have no one to talk about it since I have no friend....
|
depression
|
I’m 16 and was diagnosed last November after a pretty lengthy battle with depression.
I found out yesterday that my friend got my ex girlfriend (who was my girlfriend at the time) drunk and raped her.
I have never felt pain like this before in my life and I don’t know how to carry this depression.
I don’t talk to the girl anymore due to a really messy breakup and her new boyfriend being a drug dealer who would probably beat me up if I did.
I feel so depressed that my friend who I cared for and loved could do that to me.
|
aspergers
|
Trigger warning: mention of sexual assault.
I have always had a fear/hatred of sudden loud noises. After my rapes all sounds became amplified due to hypervigilance, well it's 4:34 am where I live and I was mostly asleep (finally) and I hear a knock at the door, and my dog starts barking. It sent me into a mild panic attack, and now I'm laying in bed refusing to even stand up or make any noise. I hate being so afraid for my life all the time.
|
ptsd
|
hey, everyone. I'm 22, was diagnosed with OCD a few years ago.
Recently my intrusive thoughts have begun again, and so I'm trying to find a therapist. But I'm scared to tell them everything.
from the time I was 13-17, I made friends my age on a chat room. The chat was part of a bigger site, and there were some public rooms with 100+ people in them. Having internet access at that age fucked me up in regards to sex, and being a horny teenager I wanted to see some boob. I'd use a fake name and go down the list and message people to see if they wanted to hop on webcam.
Most people were savvy enough to not go for it, but some were, and over those years I interacted with girls on there, and would just X out when done. I started to feel shitty about it pretty early on and knew it wasn't the best thing to do, and had long stretches where I'd go weeks or months without going on there, but I kept going back impulsively.
I'm proud to say I was able to fully stop doing that shit before my 18th birthday. I knew it was wrong, and the older I got I realized I just had to stop. I didn't wanna be a creepy internet person. So, I stopped before I turned 18.
I've talked about this in therapy before, and thought I moved past it, but one incident keeps sticking in my head. There was a girl like normal, and we were talking/I got to see boobs etc, but her brother kept walking in the room. The brother was a little dude, a kid, and she kept pushing him out of the room.
That's all I remember from that one time, and I remember feeling uncomfortable and shitty. I was probably 16 or 17 at that point, I think it was one of the last times I went on there. I was able to put it out of my mind, get therapy, move past it, etc.
Even though I don't do things like that online anymore because I'm an adult now and have no interest in doing that, my OCD is largely POCD. And so, with that one incident, my OCD has been magnifying it and twisting it into:
"Oh, you don't remember the exacts. What if you had the brother do something? What if you said something sexual about him?"
But...I didn't. I have no memory of doing any of those things. I'm not a p\*do and know I'm not. If I really stretch my memory, what I think happened then was I probably got intrusive thoughts about the brother because of my adolescent brain being in the middle of things, but when my thoughts registered I stepped back and cut the thoughts off. But still felt incredibly guilty.
So, I don't think I did the thing my OCD is trying to convince me of. I'm terrified of the ambiguity of memory, but I think I'd remember if I did THAT, if I actually said or did anything sexual in regards to the brother. I really don't think I did, I think it's my OCD.
But I'm afraid to tell my therapist all this. I'm afraid that even though I was a minor and I'm not even sure I did the OCD fear they'll report me "just in case", I'm afraid they'll think I'm a threat. I know they can't report unless you're a direct danger to yourself or others, but I don't think I am. I don't want to hurt anybody, and I really hope this is jut my OCD because I don't know what I'd do if it's justified, true guilt.
|
OCD
|
I have depression since some years ago. In addition, i was also diagnosed with dissociation and social anxiety. Now, i am a freshman at high school, and i was actually doing kinda better, since i met new people and my mother finally divorced from my stepdad. However, everything's going downhill again: I feel angst all the time. Literally, all the time. I might laugh, i might watch my favourite movie or eat my favourite ice cream. It doesn't matter: That feeling is always there. I look around, i can't feel that i belong to the place that i am. I look in the mirror and all i see is the worst version of myself.
But still, i keep on trying.
Everyday i repeat good things to myself. I try to change my mindset, i try to set goals. I talk to my grandmother, the one and only person that is able to make me feel better somehow. It works? Sometimes. Sometimes i kinda see the same sun i used to see some years ago. Just it's first ray. But it's not required much time for me to make that yellow turn blue again.
It's kinda like if it happened automatically? As if my body denied any kind of happiness i DESERVE to feel. Because i know it, i know that i deserve to be happy and feel happy as any other person.
So why am i like this? Why is it all like that?
Other thing that is killing me softly is those guys at school: They're making fun of me. Actually, i am not 100% sure, but look: Me, innocently, noticed that one boy. I thought his eyes were pretty, and they really are, so i looked at him one time, and probably another one cause i'm curious. Coincidently, after that we started to pass by each other many times? I mean, we're in the same school, so it should be normal. The thing is, that i noticed him and his friends laughing or smirking when i pass by, but it's not giving me a good vibe, yk? Even when his friends ain't with him, i see and i feel them staring at me. Now? I'm terrified. I have suffered from bullying before a dozen times, and now in high school again? Because of literally nothing? I feel so nervous when they are around, that i needed to go to the infirmary because my heart was beating excessively fast, and i was afraid of just collapsing in there. Yeah, i might be just over thinking, but that's the problem: I am an overthinker. I have social anxiety. I was being able to "control" it and focus on other things when i was in public, but now i just want to hide inside a box for the rest of my life. Not only because of those guys tho, that was only and example of a thing that triggered me.
There's also the fact that i live in a foreign country, which language is really hard for me. However, my dream has always been to study and become a doctor. But with everyone telling me i can't, what do i do? how can i rise up?
I loved to dance, but the teacher used to fatshame me (which is ridiculous because i am literally 60 kg and 168 cm, so i am not overweight at all).
My mom is always putting the fault of her failures, her failed marriage and everything on me.
And i just want to give up. I just want to end it all. But guess what? I am a Christian, and i still have a family. I would never be able to let them down.
yeah, "them down".
What about me? What can i do? How can i stop this angst, those fears, this anxiety? Since those things started happening with the boys and i had a certain fight with my ex-stepdad, my psychotic symptoms appeared again, and it makes me scared. I left the psychiatrist in the begging of september by choice, because i was really feeling that i could recover by myself from then on.
Guess i was wrong.
I just need a answer. Some tips, maybe? But most important of all, i needed to relieve this pain, and i am really glad that i found this subreddit to write about it.
|
depression
|
I'm 18, still at home, and I contribute to the household through ensuring I keep the house tidy over the weekend and filling in so my parents can relax after work.
Usually I will be fine with this, managing to remember and make myself do the work I need to do. I have no problem with it, I live here as an adult, I do my fair share while I can't pay bills. The issue is that every few weekends I will completely forget any of this is a thing, and it results in my mother getting incredibly angry at me as a result, accusing me of several untrue emotional things (e.g. I'm doing this to hurt her) and leaving me in nothing but a crying mess, angry at myself for somehow letting it slip again. This was also what nearly made me fail the last year of high school, lacking the executive function to complete any work let alone start it.
Is there anything I can do to try and help this and ensure I manage to complete my chores properly? Discussing it with my mother won't work, she has laughed it off previously.
|
ADHD
|
I haven’t been to a dentist in almost 3 years and I don’t want to go anytime soon. I know when I go they will find endless problems and it’s all because of executive dysfunction.
So many times, I have neglected to brush my teeth for days at a time, I can’t even eat on the left side of my mouth without triggering a massive toothache, I know I have at least 5 teeth that need cavities. I already have 3 permanent gaps from teeth having to be pulled out. I have a huge overbite and gaps in my teeth that would be fixed with braces but I don’t have the money, patience or desire to give up crunchy foods. My friend is about to finish having braces and I’m getting more resentful that I didn’t start them in my late teens too, I could have prevented this.
I just want them all gone. I want dentures. I’m only 22 but I cannot keep doing this. No matter how hard I try, every morning and night, I cannot will myself to brush my teeth. On a good day I will do it, but good days vary and it’s hard to distinguish what’s a ‘good’ day and what’s a ‘Barely managing’ day.
I only take my medicine because I know skipping will produce immediate withdrawal symptoms. Taking a shower is ok, because I get uncomfortable being smelly for more than a couple of days anyway. Every other act of self care I can manage to some extent, even if it takes a lot of willpower some days.
With my teeth however, I just figure it would take months before it starts to hurt again. It pushes to the back of my mind.
I feel so stupid. Every time I see my teeth I want to cry I hate it so much. How can something so basic be this hard? Is it too late for my teeth? Please tell me someone can relate.
|
ADHD
|
Hello everyone,
I am a recent diagnosed 6'1 138 pound 20 year old male ADHD-C. I am currently taking as you see above with Vyvanse(30mg) and Modafinil(200mg). I have been doing extensive research on possible cross tolerance or subtle interactions that may occur but haven't found any. Do you all think it is possible for me to take Vyvanse on one day, Modafinil on the other, break, and then continue the cycle again? I am taking weekends off as well.
Thank you.
|
ADHD
|
so im going to make this clear from the beginning, i am NOT medically diagnosed with ptsd and if this post gets removed for that, it is perfectly okay and i dont blame anyone for that. Now that thats clear and out in the open, im going to get to talking. i didnt have a TERRIBLE childhood i dont think, and i know other people have had it worse (which doesnt make you any less valid), but some parts about it upset me and i have panic/anxiety attacks, mood swings, and anxiety, specifically when im around my dad. these didnt start happening until about the beginning of 2019 when some bad memories resurfaced, Trigger Warning, these memories were of my mom and dad screaming at eachother while my dad is drunk, me constantly wishing my mom was home if she was at work, and my dad drinking very frequently, as well as him blaming me and my little brother for lying and making us stand there until one of us admits it because he could "see it in our eyes" (neither of us did what he accused) - these are only some of the things, but they are my most vivid childhood memories along with frequent nightmares and an issue with bed wetting - i AM diagnosed with depression and social anxiety, and those have gotten relatively better but turned into other issues (such as my bad mood swings) i have not been medicated since summer 2018 and my parents will not take me to a therapist/psychiatrist because it's too expensive(i am a minor, 16)
i have trouble coping with these things and loud noises generally cause me to go into a panic, or on a good day just genuinely upset me. sometimes i question my trauma until i start having a panic attack and have to call a friend because im so fucking scared of being alone, despite my weak state, i cant help but beg for someone to be there. On top of this, i am transgender, ftm, and i cannot transition because my parents dont agree with it. it's okay to have a different opinion on this but ive been dealing with gender dysphoria for a while and its just hard to cope with on top of my trauma. I hope it doesnt look like im posting this for attention because i promise you im not, and again if it gets removed i dont blame any of the mods, but does anyone have advice on how they stopped questioning themselves? Id ask if anyone else considered my experience to be traumatic but that sounds like it could be considered medical advice. Just wanna know if anyone could help. if you read this, thank you, and if anyone leaves a helpful comment i hope others could benefit from it too. stay strong, you can get through this(if you needed to hear it, if not? have a good day/night anyway pal, or dont, i dont judge)
|
ptsd
|
Hello all, I know this is not a new thing that you may have heard from posts in this subreddit. I'm in my 30s, and I'm constantly low or sad. Don't recall when it started. Always tensed and anxious. I feel like my life is out of control. In reality, I have a great life: good husband, good place to stay, nice job and family. However, I do not have friends...I suffer from severe social anxiety and while that was the only problem in my 20s, I have grown depressed knowing I'm rejected in social setting because I'm too quiet, naive, serious and slow at getting social cues. I'm constantly ignored or forgotten. I have a hard time talking and am very soft spoken because I feel very sensitive and helpless in a social situation, idk what it is. And always feel people mock me and make fun of me. I feel there's no hope. I am seeking therapy however I'm not getting better...I know it's gonna take time.
I guess I'm just venting because I heard it feels better when you express your emotions through talk or writing.
I have hobbies: playing video games, working out, and I'm trying to find other hobbies that can distract me from being sad but deep down I know that's not the solution... How do you deal with this consistent feeling? It's just getting worse for me as I age...
|
depression
|
Hey guys, just venting here to get this off my chest ...
I'm so so so tired of this....
One day I was in the showering and either I was testing myself or an intrusive thought came. It was about violent s*x acts with a child (like prepubescent) and a momentarily feeling of "liking" came, just for a split second. And now I'm stuck on that thought, like why would I even have liked such a thing.... I feel like such a monster.
And what's worse there was a voice in my head saying "you actually are capable of liking it and you just don't want to" and I don't know what came over me but I proceeded to FORCE myself to get that feeling again, perhaps to prove to myself that I am indeed a monster.
Its stuck in my head and I get nausea sometimes from thinking about the fact that I might have liked that ABHORRENT thought..... And what's worse is that I'm a teacher, and this new theme has been going on for probably 2 weeks now and it's so crazy... I can't even teach properly, I get hyperaware around children and make sure I don't look at the wrong places and I feel that I'm going mentally insane.
I want out. (Not sui**de of course) I NEED something, anything, medication or whatever. I want all this to end and I want to go back to when I was happy..... It feels like I'm trapped in my own mind like a prison cell.
Im really really tired. And the fact that this might happen again with other intrusive thoughts is so scary... I DONT WANT TO END UP EVEN LIKING MY THOUGHTS. I feel so very sad. I wasn't always like this...
To anyone who might be going through this, please I really really hope you get better. This is tough man, but let's all keep fighting...
|
OCD
|
I'm currently a college student but I feel really out of place because of my back ground. Unlike most college kids who grew up in a nice suburb I grew up in the crappy part of town, South Central LA to be exact. I was always skeptical about PTSD because I ain't a vet or anything like that. But I keep having flashbacks and I can't sleep. I keep thinking about a burglar who broke into my house, and I keep thinking about how much I wanted to fucking kill him, and I keep getting caught up in that moment. Another time this guy fucked up on drugs wanted to fight with me, so I was about to split his head open but he ran off. I keep thinking about it and it makes me angry. But then I'm like "woah wtf is wrong with me" and I start to feel like shit. I went to a university far away from home because I thought I could get away from that stuff, but I learned that the hood follows you everywhere. I had become so hardened up and hyper vigilant, that it started to harm me in a college setting. I can't sleep at night and I just get really angry. It's harming my grades because I'm always tired and I don't know how to tell my profs, they think I'm lazy and stupid and shit. I try interacting with people but I just don't know. I always come off as paranoid and I even got paranoid of my old therapist calling the cops on me so I stopped going. My school has resources for PTSD but it's for like rape victims and I just don't trust staff. The hyper vigilance is killing me.
|
ptsd
|
Even on the best days driving with ADHD is such a hassle for me . I try so hard to be as safe of a driver as possible and never text and drive. Even then I still catch myself at times just spacing out and making silly mistakes. The last day and a half I've been really sick and barely able to sleep. I had to go get tested for COVID today and got myself out of bed and into my car to leave my apartment. Obviously I wasn't in the best headspace but I truly have no idea what I was thinking. I started slowly backing out and somehow just forgot to check the backup camera?? I was looking straight ahead and was totally spaced out, just going off muscle memory. And then I heard a crunch of metal and realized I had backed up straight into two cars behind me (the way the lot is set up my spot was across and in between two spots so pulling out straight meant I backed up into both of them). My car had almost no damage at all, one car had a tiny scratch and the other was a low riding sedan so my bumper must have hit its headlight light and scratched it. I felt so confused at how that even happened/what my brain was doing and super awful for it. I left notes on both of their cars with my insurance info and my own email. I just haven't been able to stop fixating on it and crying about it. I feel so frustrated at myself and my brain. I know accidents happen but I can't shake the shame and anxiety. I always check my backup camera whenever I'm reversing so I have no idea what even came over me. I love reddit because it helps me feel less alone, so I guess I'm hoping someone else out there can in some way relate to the experience.
|
ADHD
|
I am 14 I think i have depression I told my mom about it like 2 weeks ago and she has only brought it up around 3 times and just kinda forgot about it I think because I keep lying and saying I’m fine but I’m really not it’s been 3.5 years I’ve felt like this the past few months I’ve been having suicidal and self harm thoughts multiple times throughout the day almost everyday. I have a checkup coming soon and I want to get screened for depression anyone have any advice on how I can bring it up?
|
depression
|
like books or blogs. Im looking for social skill content specifically made for adult aspies
|
aspergers
|
Now that I’ve been diagnosed, and that I’ve told my family, I noticed something my mom has started to do, just like when I came out as a lesbian to her.
She always lets me know when she meets or sees someone who is autistic. Like on the shows. She mentioned atypical and the good doctor. She says that her coworkers friend has a child on the spectrum. Just today, she called me to let me know there was an autistic woman on Big Brother USA this year.
It’s just something quirky I noticed she does when she has a new thing to associate to me. I think it’s her way of trying to reach out about it.
Just something I noticed and wanted to see if anyone else had experience with this.
|
aspergers
|
Hi OCD Fam!
Has anyone taken Luvox for their OCD? I am doing really well with ERP therapy and am now mostly back to my normal self, but my psychiatrist said Luvox could help reduce the changes of OCD relapse. I’m a little concerned about SSRIs and wanted to see if anyone has had success with this one.
Thank you ♥️
|
OCD
|
Just to preface this I’m 20m and don’t know if I’m on the spectrum but am just wondering, do any of you have problems with gagging a lot? I don’t have problems with fabrics or most of the “usual” things.( I searched a bit on this sub) I just cannot do dishes, touching or smelling dirty laundry as I’m putting it in the wash, liquids (like in a recycling bin) and generally stuff that can be considered nasty but no one else gags. Thank you!
|
aspergers
|
Hi, hopefully I don't ramble. Never been here before.
I'm a 20 year old college student. I have struggled IMMENSELY with executive function/dysfunction, which is by far my biggest problem. I have most ADHD symptoms like difficulty in conversations, brain never switching off and being unable to focus, but none of those are even remotely in the ballpark of how terrible the dysfunction is. I'm almost certain I have ADHD and I'm scheduled to meet with a doctor in a few days to hopefully get diagnosed and prescribed medication.
However, I don't really know what to expect with medication and how it affects people. I'm honestly a little scared. What are the typical medicines prescribed to people with ADHD and what are their (most common) effects on people? Could people with EXTREME executive dysfunction maybe share their stories and what medicines potentially helped them? Any adverse side effects?
(Side note: I do a lot of online gaming, mostly World of Warcraft but sometimes shooters. It's a lifelong passion and something I invest a lot of time in. What effects do different medications have on gaming, if any? Probably a silly question but it's my main hobby and I'd like to know if it would have any negative effects.)
Thank you in advance for reading and maybe even responding.
|
ADHD
|
I have bad health anxiety that's caused by a legitimate health condition. The condition can be serious and worsen if I don't take any action for *years*, but my brain just interprets that as a death sentence.
The past few days I had a pretty bad episode and was unable to think about anything else other than my health. Even though I knew it was mainly fueled by my OCD, I also knew that there was a sliver of truth to my worry, which makes it so hard to separate obsessive thoughts from real legitimate concerns.
Today I woke up and it's like my OCD hit an off switch, and it's *so nice*. However, my brain is now telling me that I'm being irresponsible for not being focused on my health, and is trying to convince me that it wasn't OCD but a real valid concern.
I've felt like this in the past and it's almost like a remnant of my episode, and even these feelings will fade in time. But for now, it's hard.
|
OCD
|
I seriously feel like such an airhead sometimes. I’ve messed up a lot of little things that have luckily been caught.
Some of them are good teaching moments (it’s a relatively new job, started in July) but now it’s to the point that I’m making REALLY silly mistakes that could turn into bigger mistakes down the line. They’re also things I’ve been trained to do and am signed off on and trusted to do. And then I make an airhead mistake that I’m sure makes my supervisor think, “where tf is her brain sometimes?” And I feel so embarrassed and like an idiot.
I’m off all ADHD meds right now. I ran out, and they weren’t really doing what I needed them to do anyway. But clearly they were doing something, because I haven’t felt quite this empty-headed in a while. I really need to get to the doctor.
TLDR: I keep making a lot of mistakes at work that I’m trained and qualified to do and I need new medicine. Whine whine whine, I need a hug and a pat on the head.
|
ADHD
|
I spend an overwhelming amount of my time in my head. My work days are complete blurs to me because I'm daydreaming. I've been caught talking to myself out loud several times by coworkers. I know that I come off as a very odd and creepy person, but I sincerely do not mean to. I've come to the end of myself trying not to. I'm super awkward and shy so I imagine myself confident and with a lot of friends. I imagine myself as a funny and likeable person.
I'm 29 but I fantasize more in one day than I ever did in all my childhood. I feel on the brink of tears every day at work, so I'm imagining violent and horrible things. No, I'd never go through with anything like that. But the thoughts are there all the same. I feel like I'm in the movie Joker. Everything is fine when I'm in my head and then something happens and I come crashing back down to reality and I'm angry, scared, sad, and confused all over again.
And I don't know if I ever would, but I have thought a lot today about it. I cannot find any reason not to kill myself. Again, I am not sure if I could actually do it. But at the same time, I cannot find any negative effect of it for myself. If I am dead then would I really have the capacity to regret? Doesn't my embarrassment and regret die with me?
|
depression
|
does god hate me like what do you even want me to do. i dont wanna hurt her but i also cant just fail everything cuz this'll just lead to another problem. i dnt even have the energy/motivation to play video games anymore but still i stayed up late for hours almost every night just to get a pass but turns out I'll still fail/barely pass, plus hear my mom cry abt this
LMFAO my life (more like existence) is a fucking joke. She shouldnt have given birth to me. And now im here, alive, like i havent caused enough problems to everyone around me yet
|
depression
|
My (26F) life at the moment is a complete mess and I don’t know what to do to fix it
- my parents are getting a divorce after my mum cheated on my dad with a woman and its super messy and i’ve lost all contact with my mum
- i’ve been diagnosed with depression, being assessed for adhd and an eating disorder and my mental and physical health are worse than ever, i’ve been non stop sick with flu and relentless exhaustion since mid september
- i’m losing friends and driving people away by isolating myself or having nothing good to talk about as nothing brings me joy
- i’m in a job i hate, with colleagues who gossip about me, and absolutely no way to get out of it as i live far from family and need the money to pay the bills, but i have such bad anxiety about going in that i barely sleep
- the only thing i was passionate about (my conservation masters) i’m failing out of after such a good first year because my depression/health means i’m unable to give any brain power to doing my readings and completing assignments
- due to my binge eating disorder, i’m in the worst shape of my life (over 200lbs) and feel gross, fat, worthless and disgusting
- the culmination of everything going wrong has lead to so many extreme panic attacks and poor coping mechanisms (drinking, sleeping and eating in excess)
I just don’t know how to get my life back on track. I just want to pause everything and sleep for a month and have all the time in the world to work in getting better, but life doesn’t work like that.
|
depression
|
I want a way out of our shitty society and out of the world.
I've thought about ending it many times in my life, but especially throughout the past year. Every time I think about what would happen if I did it, it's always the same pattern. It starts, I think about what other people would think, the, what, 2 people who actually care about me, I think about how hurt they would be, but then I get mad at myself for having the audacity and narcissism to assume that ANYONE would ever be hurt by my death or miss me if I was gone. Then I get even more mad at myself for being an asshole to myself, and then I think about all the reasons why I want to disappear, and the cycle repeats until I get distracted by something else. I hate being a person in general. Not a human, but a person, meaning not something but someone. Being granted person hood by society is a burden. I can't find the words to describe why, it just is. I wish I could just exist on my own and not have to deal with the burden of potential and past trauma. I hate politics, I hate school, I hate social media, I hate society as a whole, I hate having to "live up" to certain expectations, I hate having to fit in, I have having to censor things about myself and bottle up emotion. I hate having to deal with a porn addiction that has been controlling me for a year and keeping it a secret from everyone, I hate having to deal with panic attacks and keeping it a secret from my family, for fear of judgement. I hate my family, except for two people in it, most of them treat me like I'm an item, like some sort of trophy, I hate one of them in particular, who verbally and sexually abused me several times, manipulates people, and is abusive to other members of the family, all while having an enabler. I hate societal norms and beliefs and scrutiny, I hate how indecisive I am, I can't even find the energy in me to get mad about things anymore, or cry, it's all just emptiness, I hate how stupid my sense of humor is, I hate how awkward I am, I hate that I have to hate these things because society looks down upon them, I hate having potential and feeling like I'm not living up to it, I hate being ME. I wish I could be anyone else but me. I wish I could be a nobody, I wish I could be a side character, someone who has no potential, no interest in being successful or famous or whatever, I just wish I could be happy. I wish I could move to another state where nobody knows who I am and just restart. I just wanna start from square one again, where I can be who I really am instead of what I've been pretending to be for so long. I wish I could do that without feeling like a fuck up, without looking back at how good things were before, and how good things were supposed to be, because I don't know what the hell happened to me. Writing all of my feelings and thoughts out like this does help, but even so, I feel like I'm gonna get judged because guys who share their feelings are weak and pathetic, and also, guys can't be sexually abused, or even physically. It's always the guys fault if anything happens. Except that's not true, it's just another stupid society thing where something that didn't need to be a belief suddenly became a common belief, and nobody questions it because it's so normalized. And things like that do have an effect, because every time I have flashbacks of abuse, I always tell myself "just get over it", "suck it up, you puss", "it wasn't that bad", "I deserved it because (...)" And all of those sayings don't even make me feel bad, it's actually a coping mechanism to shut down any sense of shame or feelings I have about it, because helps numb the mental pain, just like my other escapes do, just like drawing does, just like daydreaming does, just like watching porn does, just like mindless browsing does, just like sleeping does. It's all just temporary, and then I wake up every day, lying in bed with nothing to do, and it all comes back.
|
depression
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.