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I keep failing at everything, no matter how hard I try, and I know it's all my fault because I never persevere. I keep procrastinating and end up not doing anything all day. It's likely due to my depression but I feel like if I try a bit harder, I can get through it, so it's not an excuse. I'm 23 now and I have nothing. My family is poor. My dad's too proud to get food stamps so we're barely getting by. I still live with parents, I have no job, failing college---again, I have no car, I don't know how to drive. I have no skills.
I don't want to get a job anytime soon because I know I will eventually quit due to anxiety and being ostracized. It happened with my past 6 jobs. I know if I jump into a new job right now, it'll end up just all the previous times--- quitting after 2 months. Plus the minimum wage is not worth it with all the shit it causes my mental health.
I want to get to the root of my depression and anxiety---which is that for some reason I can't communicate and get along with people. I'm always the odd one out. Nobody likes me. I have zero friends since high school 5 years ago. I made no friends in college, which I dropped out from. I don't have money to go back. I'm currently doing WGU and I'm failing to keep up because everything is online and I keep procrastinating.
i also have no hobbies. Everything makes me sad.
Tl;dr: I have nothing. No assets, nothing to leave behind, no skill, no talent, no job. Still living with parents in extreme poverty. I want to start over but I feel like it's too late.
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depression
|
Before the trauma four years ago, I was very extroverted: I wanted to make a friend out of EVERYONE, being friendly with strangers was easy, I loved organizing parties and events. I could walk into a party not knowing anyone and feel completely comfortable. Also, babysitting and teaching children used to be so inspiring and give me so much energy.
Now, I am introvert; every personality test I take is a complete switch and it’s reflected in my inability to be comfortable around people. I’m constantly worried about how long the conversation will last. Or worried about when I’ll be able to get back to my apartment because it just feels better to be inside. I actively avoid acquaintances or seemingly friendly children because talking with them makes me nervous. Like it’s too unpredictable and what if it’s an unpleasant interaction? But I still *need* to be around people. When I’m at home all day alone, I feel this explosion of energy when my brother comes home from work. I feel like my whole day is almost kind of just waiting to talk to someone I guess? But I also hate talking to people now. I feel like I’m supposed to be extroverted, but when I think about socializing, it just makes me exhausted. I don’t know, can anyone else relate to this? If so, did you find a way to balance the need for being around people without feeling so much discomfort? I can’t afford therapy so this is how I process my trauma lol
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ptsd
|
I feel like a loser when I see other people achieve things like in sports and I look at myself and I dont do anything but sit around and look at social media. I feel like I'm incapable to do these things and also it affects my gender identity because males are suppose to do sports, but I'm the only one that seems like that feminine bookworm, when I really hate reading. I feel like such a nerd and incompetent compared to everyone else.
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aspergers
|
I think I'm doing everything right and it may be going away but I want it make sure I'm doing everything I can and how others do it?
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OCD
|
From time to time I get this lingering intrusive thought, that everyone is “beneath me.” I look at people and think they are losers, pathetic, worthless or that I hate them. Even the people I love. I don’t want to think such judgmental things, it’s not even toward a specific individual, it’s literally all human beings. But once the thought hits, it becomes deeply distressing and upsetting, it makes me want to isolate until I can come out of it. Has anyone else experienced such an obscure obsession? Can this even be classified as OCD? (I have pure-O with other recurring themes)
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OCD
|
36M High functioning/support living with parents, employed, yet perpetually, and probably will forever be, chronically poor, thankful but poor.
Have worked for 10+ years, average salary almost 4g a month.
Apart from my phone and health insurance, have no other bills, am overweight so I spend a lot on food, have dinner with parents, buy lunch at work, buy own clothes, toiletries etc.
Have own computer and a crap ton of hard drives (proud member of subreddit data hoarder) if you need to know where most of the money goes to new drives or computer repairs.
It’s never my intention to spend what I make, but every month, most of paycheck goes to paying of my credit card, the rest I spend, and the cycle continues.
Have saved this year due to COVID but if it wasn’t for that…
One final thing, got made redundant from last job in 2018, and put my whole payment into a wealth management company (that has done pretty well)
So I don’t think I am completely screwed.
I don’t have any way of a second income or side hustle (I don’t have time) bitcoin (and everything related confuses the hell out of me) and I am always anxious about money because living with my parents, is the equivalent of keeping up with the joneses.
Any money advice would help, other than being told to stick to a budget, because that has not worked.
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aspergers
|
Anyone have an activity that they find super satisfying?
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aspergers
|
Well I am 18 year old Male. I am suffering from too much loneliness also family matter is running my mental health. Whenever I see insta stories of other I feel jealous that people of my age are enjoying and having relationship, in other hand here is me who don't even have a single friend who talk with me in regular basis. The trauma I went through in junior college were I was bullied every day still haunts me. I have zero self esteem left in my soul. I am not even good in studies and my parents are expecting too much from me. I think my existence is waste. Even how hard I try to motivate myself it's just get worse. Now I only thing wish is death....
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depression
|
The guy who sexually assaulted me tried to friend me on Facebook and sent me a message saying what’s up and now my ptsd is terrible again and I want to die. Why did he have to do this to me? I hate my life I hope I die.
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ptsd
|
I’m a 21 year old man and I’ve never been in a relationship or been even close to being intimate with a woman, although I’d like to. When I was 18 my parents got divorced and my dad moved away. I don’t talk to him much anymore. Shortly after that my sister got married and moved away, so it’s just been me and my mom for a few years. I got a new job recently and there’s no one to talk to at work bc it’s just me and one other guy that works there and he’s a lot older than me and we have nothing in common. The past few days my moms been out of town with her bf she’s been dating for like a week. Today, she called me and said they got married. She assured me I can still keep living at home she just won’t be staying here very much, and I could rent out the extra rooms if I wanted to. I know I’m a grown man and I should be independent but I only have 2 friends and we only hang out like once or twice a week, the rest of the time I’m just alone with my thoughts. I know I’d feel so much better if I could just get a girlfriend that understands me and sees something in me but I don’t even know where to start Bc I’m not even friends with any girls. I’ve tried all the dating apps but I don’t get any matches. I’m just tired of being alone and I just want a family of my own someday but no one wants me and no one ever has and I’m starting to think no one ever will.
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depression
|
I have been struggling with my OCD for years. However, the past few years I’ve been having issues with something I did wrong in my past. I will spend all day ruminating about the event to the point where my brain starts adding bits and pieces to the story that didn’t happen. At this point I genuinely don’t know what’s real and what’s not, and I’m racked with guilt over it. Can anyone relate? Any advice?
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OCD
|
COVID-19 probably was why... at first, I convinced myself I was a natural introvert who was flexible (if that's you that's great btw don't be ashamed if you are an introvert), but now I don't even know... I feel like a mix of a introvert and extrovert (ambivert?)
I also feel like a nuisance to other people's friendships and conversations, and I'm probably the only one out of few who don't have any close friendships at the moment (other than two people from the southern US) in my school. Whenever I see a group of friends being together and talking, I just compare that to my somewhat miserable life. Not saying that people should stay away from each other for my sake, just something I wanted to point out.
My social skills are pretty shit too. I respond to a lot of various comments with single words like bruh, oh ok, damn, etc. and it's so hard to congratulate people on achievements not because I don't want to but because I feel like congratulating makes a lot of noise and me making that much noise in public settings is sweat's paradise, and also if the message goes wrong it would be super awkward.
I stress the importance of social groups and culture and stay away from some just so as to not embarrass or stress myself.
Self esteem is pretty low too, as I compare myself to others a lot, and I feel like I'm one of the worst people in the school in character and a lot of other factors.
If you're wondering about counselling, I was going to make a teen counseling account, but well it cost a lot of money. Might be worth it but for now I'll stick to forums.
Also on sleep, I'm still under 18 and I have a lot of times I sleep at 2 or 3 AM on school days (it's 10:43 PM now, not too bad in my standards lol), which sums it up pretty well I guess :P
sorry if this was low-content or too specific, I've been holding for too long, that's all.
Though when I am not a minor anymore, I'd be able to pursue a lot more. Maybe I'll celebrate going into a Subway by myself or a museum or something like that 😄
TLDR COVID-19 situation sucks it gave me social anxiety, I feel like a nuisance to other people's social life, my social skills are garbage, I tried to make a counseling account but failed, I have a bad sleep schedule, low self-esteem, I'd like to achieve more when I am older, epik 😎
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depression
|
Episode 167: Posttraumatic Growth with Dr. Laura Copley by The Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Duff the Psych
https://player.fm/1wuxVR
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ptsd
|
How often do you get hyperfixations? (Like is there a break in between or barely no break at all?)
I sometimes get so obsessed with my hyperfixations that it is damaging to my relationship since it’s all I think about and want to do. Is that common and does anyone have any tips regarding that?
I remember telling my dad years before getting a diagnosis that if I’m not interested in something in an intense way, I feel like I get or could get really depressed and feel empty, is that a thing with other ADHD people as well?
|
ADHD
|
I found myself in a very covid-unsafe situation just now. It’s the second time in two days and I feel the urge to ritualize SO strong but don’t even know how I would. Instead, I texted my gf and my best friend about suffering, being stressed, etc. In other words, I went looking for reassurance. What the hell else am I supposed to do? I’m so frustrated with myself! I’m so frustrated at fantasizing about meeting my maker, asphyxiating to death, or worse, contaminating my mom. It doesn’t help that I have brutal asthma.
Anyhow, I am just starting EX/RP. I have trouble believing it will make a difference, especially bc my therapist is not a specialist.
I want your words of wisdom, your advice, anything. I don’t want reassurance, just a better plan or something. I wasn’t made yo live like this and I want some relief.
|
OCD
|
I've delayed my graduation another semester, and I'm both relieved and filled with guilt at taking more time.
I'm in grad school and writing my thesis, and to graduate this semester, my work would have to be finished within the next 3 weeks, earlier the better, but I still have 2.5 chapters left to write and I just CAN'T do it. I've realized that it will be better in the long run to delay, but I just feel like a worthless piece of crap who can't get anything done on time. Every time I've sat down to work in the past three weeks, I've only been able to produce a page at most, and I just can't focus or be creative to save me. I know I need a break, and that this is a brain disorder, but its hard not to feel like a bad person.
|
ADHD
|
3 years ago.
Been dreading it all week. I don’t have a therapy appointment, but I was encouraged to stay busy and keep my mind off of it. Avoid the place where it happened. Still feel uneasy and cold. Having trouble sleeping tonight. Feel all antsy and upset.
I’ll take any advice or funny jokes at this point. I hate that a whole day is ruined for me. I have support I just am afraid to burden my friends with keeping me busy tomorrow. Guess we’ll see what happens.
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ptsd
|
I feel invalidated because my intrusive thoughts aren’t about contamination or physical harm. My OCD tells me that I’m a liar and a narcissist and that I fabricate every part of my life in my head and I’m not living in reality. Does that make sense? And does anyone else have intrusive thoughts like this? All I ever see is that people have intrusive thoughts about contamination and physical harm. It makes me feel like mine aren’t even real or valid.
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OCD
|
I’ve done some things in my past that I’m deeply ashamed of, and I’m pretty sure I’ve developed real event OCD this year around them (still waiting on diagnosis). The main event I’m fixated on happened about 5 years ago.
The combination of my regret and our current culture of harassment and ostracization for any perceived wrongdoing have driven me to a point where I really don’t think I can continue living for much longer.
Has anyone else been here and gotten better? I feel so hopeless and like my life is permanently tainted by mistakes I made when I was young.
|
OCD
|
So I just moved this past weekend to a new apartment in a city 5 hours away with my family and every detail that goes with moving is exhausting. I get so overwhelmed with how to pack and what to keep and where to even start. I’m finally somewhat settled in, I mean it’s only been 3 days but I was so overstimulated and I feel like I need a couple weeks to recover. Unfortunately my mom is going to Norway for a month and I have to watch her puppy for that month. He’s a menace lol I mean he’s a puppy ya know? Pees and poops on the carpet, constantly getting into stuff, runs away if he can get through the door, massive amount of energy etc.. and having to be responsible for a puppy for a month is going to be exhausting. ): I really hope I get through it without burning out.
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ADHD
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Rejection never really bothered me that much, but I feel like a talentless, useless failure who’s not capable of better and so I’m assuming that the opportunities I’d recently applied for and interviewed for resulted in rejections, but I’m not ready to face these. I’m already feeling so down and like some people were right about me and I’m a failure doomed to end up destitute and never capable of better so I’m not ready to read the emails that confirm these facts. At the same time, I know I can’t leave these things waiting if they actually require my response. I am just not ready to be faced with the facts idk
|
depression
|
So it seems to me that a lot of American and British Aspies have fondness for UK culture, movies, shows, music, and what not.
Why is this? One theory I have is that a lot of us grew up on and followed Thomas and Friends when we got older. That show is from the UK, so perhaps that’s just the rabbit hole.
Thoughts?
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aspergers
|
My whole life is a blur. Even when my depression symptoms alleviate I still can’t remember shit. Am I demented at 28? That would be fine with me if someone could just confirm and diagnose me.
|
depression
|
I am a limerent, in my case my limerence is characterized by a constant and intense need to be loved, it never goes away.
And I become quickly attached to a very handful of guys throughout my history, but those very few men have one thing in common I need to have sex with them in order to have feelings for them. It would depend on various factors, on how good looking they are, how old they are, how they respect and amplify my feminity, and how great they are in bed.
I'm 31 now I had sex with more than 500 guys but I had gigantic crushes on only 6 guys(2 French, 1 Belgian, 2 brit and 1 domican). 5 of them were white older than me and in my idea world husband materials.
The Last one was a British, I only had sex one time with him but it was more intense than anything I ever felt in bed, it was during the last summer. And since then I never had sex.
I am seeing a therapist, I think she doesn't even have a proper answer to my situation but she's very good and I like her, that's why I keep seeing her.
Now I'm afraid to have sex, I have deleted all the apps on my phone. I'm torturing myself to do not want to have sex, maybe next year or in 2 I might find someone who might fulfill my sexual desires and I might go back to the same rabbit hole again. I've been on medication for depression for almost a year now, it's killing me inside.
I'm thorn between wanting sex and also afraid to meet someone I might truly like. From all the 6 guys I had crush on only one saw me enough for a long term, the other 4, I was just a toy for them to be used even if they were good at giving me what I partially want.
I don't know what to do anymore. Should I put an end to my sexual life or should I take meds to make me not having sexual desires at all to end my misery. And once I become attached to a guy it would usually take me 1 year to get over him until I find another one who would make me feel happier. So basically I've been on and off depression for 11 years now
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depression
|
i’ve had several therapists in the past, and have never found a good way to tell a therapist you want to move on. i understand that most therapists will accept it if it’s just not a good fit, especially in the first few sessions, but i have no idea how to phrase it.
recently got a new therapist and don’t know how to tell her it’s not going to work out. any advice? thanks!
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ptsd
|
I got diagnosed with combined type adhd about two years ago, and I'm on medication that I take pretty regularly. things are going better than they did before, with they exception of falling asleep at a reasonable time. historically, I've always had a problem / tendency for staying up late. I've thought waking up earlier would do it, but I still stay up, and then get sick from lack of sleep.
Here's my problem. At the end of the day, when I relax and have time to myself, I tend to do things that I find really interesting, like watching tv, or playing games, or even going on the internet, and this makes me more awake. I've tried eliminating these things at night, but then I don't relax, I don't have a way to lose the tension of the day, and I end up staying up late as well.
anyone else struggle with this? What do you do?
|
ADHD
|
So I was diagnosed when I was very young. Probably 6 or 7. I haven't been on meds in like 10 years and I haven't seen a psychiatrist since I was a teenager. Im also pretty introverted. Meeting new people makes my anxiety skyrocket.
I just got done with a doctors appointment telling me I have pneumonia for the 2nd time this year. The doctor, of course, gave me an earful about quitting smoking because "You're a young guy and you're getting pneumonia like an old man."
I want to quit smoking, I really do. I've tried everything multiple times, vaping, snus, nicotine patches, cold turkey, gum (both nicotine and regular chewing gum). None of it has worked. I've seen that Wellbutrin has shown positive results in people with ADHD quitting smoking, so Im really wanting to try that. I don't want Chantix as I've known multiple people who it has drastically effected their moods and made them very unstable while they were on it.
So my insurance offers tele-med appointments with a psychiatrist, do you think if I went that route that I'd get a prescription? Would they want to re-diagnose me 1st since its been so long? I see and hear the stories about people with ADHD just getting diagnosed with anxiety instead because "insert bs stereotype here" and slapped with some xanax and I really don't want that.
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ADHD
|
I am now medicated, and I am seeing things differently now. I keep thinking back on certain things I was so hyper focused on, like it consumed my life. Some of my favorites:
Perfecting my curly hair. Spent hours watching YouTube and bought a ton of products.
Make up tutorials. Again, I’d spend hours watching how to videos on YouTube and spent way way too much money on makeup I no longer wear.
Crystals and tarot cards. I haven’t touched them in months. But for awhile, I was obsessed with reading cards and collecting crystals for this and that.
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ADHD
|
I'm currently in treatment for depression and anxiety.
I just can't study at all. I've been sitting at my desk for hours but just can't study at all. I have HSC exams in less then 20 days and I'm still not able to finish minimum syllabus. I just don't know what to do. Feeling hopeless and worthless.
|
depression
|
I have bipolar and get chronic migraines. One of the main tools of treatment for both is managing your triggers. But part of that process is identifying your triggers and it can be so difficult to do. Because you forget what triggered it this time or you forgot to record it in your habit tracker.
All of my conditions would be helped if I ate healthy regularly, exercised regularly, and maintained a good routine to keep me on track. But ADHD makes it so hard to stick to a routine. I feel so exhausted at the end of a even mildly productive day.
Sometimes I can even feel a migraine coming on and I know I need to take my meds. But I will sit their and procrastinate it and then I’ll have a full fledged migraine. Or I’ll trigger a migraine because I forgot to drink water or eat food. Or I went outside when it was too bright and forgot to bring my sunglasses.
ADHD makes everything harder. But when you have other difficulties in your life that need management it feels impossible sometimes.
Like today I did has an amazingly productive day and I still got a migraine because I didn’t pay attention and drank too much caffeine.
|
ADHD
|
All I want to do it cry. but I can't. I can't feel anything. I just want to be able to cry :(
|
depression
|
I started listening to him a couple months ago when I was in a darker place than I am now. I haven't began meditating, but I did purchase his book "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself" and am making my way through it.
The entire premise of his work is getting over the emotions of your past and creating a better future for yourself. Obviously, for PTSD sufferers that is a larger struggle than the lucky people who are down on themselves for not working out much last month.
Just curious on others' experience with his work.
|
ptsd
|
About a month ago, my physician put me on 10mg xr Adderall for my ADHD. During our discussion of available options, I briefly mentioned my recreational use of moda in college and it’s benefit for me getting work done. She didn’t seem too receptive to the idea and brushed it off with “we generally don’t prescribe modafinil for that”.
I have been taking Adderall for this month and have noticed only a minor effect in my concentration and ability to focus. (Maybe I need a different dose). But one side effect that I have noticed is the appearance of ED whenever I’m on the meds. Because of this, I feel like I’d be better served on moda instead.
Has anyone had any success getting prescribed moda for their ADHD? Is there anything specific I should bring up to my doctor?
|
ADHD
|
I (23F) haven’t been able to feel any form of pleasure from masturbation or sex after a trauma I experienced two years ago. I’m beginning to feel hopeless, like I’m broken.
I want to feel close to people again. I used to be an affectionate and sexual person. I don’t know how to fix this.
I would really appreciate any advice.
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ptsd
|
⚠️Trigger Warning ⚠️
Does anyone have thoughts that they might have schizophrenia? Cancer n other stuff? Lately my heads been messing with me telling me I have schizophrenia and it’s slightly horrifying but more annoying
|
OCD
|
My Dad just messaged me saying that my Grandma is in hospital dying (she has cancer).
My Grandma lives in another state and I can't go to the hospital easily to visit her or my Dad who has flown there.
I called my Dad and tried to comfort him but I think I failed abysmally.
Have any of you been in this situation?
What can I do. I don't know how to react in this situation.
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aspergers
|
That's the questions. Can it be possible that after 9 months of struggling with severe ROCD, depression, anxiety, suffering, crying and pain the OCD just stops? And I became desensitized to everything? I don't obsess anymore, don't really ruminate anymore (maybe 20 min a day), but I still do a few compulsions.
I am not diagnosed with OCD, but got diagnosed in february with depression.
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OCD
|
How do you deal with it? Are you in a relationship with anyone and what do you feel towards them?
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aspergers
|
I get a little annoyed with my husband when I’m having a panic attack because his best advice is “just breath, breath through your nose.” I’m like “that’s for when you’re running!!!”
I’m saying this as a person who has yet to be able to talk herself out of a panic attack. I’ve always had to take medicine. But I do get somewhat annoyed with people’s suggestions to treat my illness when they don’t help. The second best tip I get is “you just need to work out.”
I also realize that these people can’t possibly understand what I’m going through, so I don’t hold it against them. But still. Soooo annoying.
|
ptsd
|
I'm in my 20's and feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm becoming more paranoid and aggressive everyday. Whether they are noises of cats or dogs outside, or family drama (even mild). I'm suspecting it could be to do with PTSD.
So I've grown up with an abusive father. My dad would often yell a lot to me and my household. He also used to manipulate my mother.
Also, often my mother blames me for certain things, like forgetting to put the dishes/leaving them in the sink (which I always clean up) or forgetting to change the towel (which I always do). She also has gotten annoyed at me when I misinterpret instructions from her (such as bringing in a certain blanket and I accidently bring in the wrong one), and deliberately hints that I'm dumb. She has also asked several times in the past how I'm ever going to manage on my own when I get a job etc, and things like that have made me lose confidence in myself. I have wanted to leave the family for a long time. They have encouraged me to stay, but now it has reached my breaking point. My mother has blamed me for leaving the dishes in the sink once again, and it was actually my sister who has done it and she has even admitted this herself. I never forget to do them. In fact, I get paranoid about not forgetting and constantly double check to make sure I haven't forgotten to do them, and I haven't.
So I got angry, raised my voice a little about how she shouldn't accuse me for things I didn't do. And she brought up the fact that I'm turning into my dad, and I said that the difference between me and him is that he is manipulative (he wanted mum to stay despite her wanting to leave). He also blames others, and has chosen to get married to my mother. He also gets angry at me when I haven't done anything wrong, but takes it out on me when it involves another person. Being raised in the family, it felt like I was trapped and didn't have anywhere to go. My hasn't even owned up to blaming me and instead wants me to apologize for yelling. I'm not saying that yelling was the best choice, but I wished she would have owned up for blaming (in this case, accusing) me. I have told her several times in the past that I always clean up the dishes, and yet several times had continued to blame me.
So I decided to leave the house, and reduce contact with her. Now I'm thinking that I am the villain and she is the victim of my "abuse". Now I suspect she is talking with the rest of my family about how I'm an abuser and how they're happy I left (which I'm happy to leave too).
Right now, I feel hopeless. I feel like there's no purpose in my life anymore, especially knowing (and becoming more and more paranoid) of becoming an abuser and ending up like my father.
What do you think? I've wanted therapy and someone professional to talk to, but there's no one available. Do you think I'm an abuser?
|
ptsd
|
Every time I look at an adult or someone my age I can’t feel aroused or feel like I’m attracted, I don’t feel anything I’m just so scared I don’t want to be a pedophile
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OCD
|
So, I might as well be talking about being abducted by aliens when I talk about my trauma/ptsd with others. It's too absurd, chaotic, unrelatable, and complicated to talk about. Not to mention, I hate talking or even thinking about it. I have tried to rebuild and make a new life for myself, but the terrible events from my past refused to stay dead. Instead, they managed to take over my life again and have made my present an unimaginable nightmare. Sadly, I have no decent people around to help me. So I'm forced to live with these terrible events entirely by myself.
Now, I think that talking about all this with someone (like a therapist) and them giving regular feedback would be a great help. But I fear that if I met a therapist in person, it would take them just a year to grasp what I'm talking about. All I can see is time and money being wasted with little to show for. But maybe online therapy is an option more suited for me? I'm just looking for someone other than me to even consider and talk about my scenario.
Should I consider online therapy? Or is my scenario entirely hopeless and should I just give up on trying to have others relate with me? If it wasn't for the terrible thing that happened these last two years, I think I would have been fine with telling no one about my past.
|
ptsd
|
I'm ugly and socially awkward. Broke it off with my ex because he was too busy for me, but I'm scared noone else will love me and my ugliness and my awkwardness and all
|
depression
|
it’s like i am purposefully thinking horrible terrible offensive things. i hate thinking these things and i DO NOT agree with or condone them.
and it’s ME thinking them, their not intrusive which just makes this worse. it’s almost like anytime i see someone i try so hard to not think offensive things, which just makes me think offensive things.
i don’t even know who i am anymore. old me would never think such things. i don’t want anyone to see my face anymore- i feel like i’m just lying to and deceiving everyone. people see me and have no idea the horrible things i’m thinking in my head. i think horrible things about people who are helping me, who are kind to me, and they just have no idea about the things i’m thinking.
i want to say sorry to everyone i’ve had these thoughts about. i’m so sorry, and i just need this to stop
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OCD
|
Daughter was diagnosed recently (about a month ago) and she is having a hard time with it. She has said many times that she wish she did not have this, wonders if she was wrongly diagnosed etc. She also wonders if she flunked the test leading to wrong diagnosis. The assessment was done by a certified specialist and a place that is a member of CHADD. So there are no concerns about test validity.
But she seems more angry since the diagnosis, gets upset at the slightest of things leading to emotional outbursts. Time at home has gotten more stressful lately. Please share any tips or advice about how to communicate and support our daughter.
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ADHD
|
this happens sometimes and it makes me look a little nuts, i’m sure lol
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OCD
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How can I get my head to be quiet ? I (26F) was diagnosed a few months ago and started on Adderall. It helped at first and I was able to keep a schedule and things were good for about two weeks before they came crashing.
Meds still help me but seemingly for a shorter periods of time. I suck at routines (especially when it’s something I already don’t want to do like go to my current job). I’m in grad school and currently there’s so much going on in my head that it’s taking me forever to accomplish the simplest tasks.
I need help before I fuck up my life. I’m constantly on go and I know it’s not healthy.
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ADHD
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I've always been too frightened of horror stories by people with and without adhd to apply for a credit card. But at 31, I need credit history to do things I want and need to do.
I had shit or no credit most my life and once an old eviction from when I was 18 got dropped off my report it's like I dont have any credit because unfortunately, apartments dont report good payments just when you dont aparently?? (Bills not in my name, never incurred school debt, and car is used and saved for outright)
I'm recently diagnosed and medicated for a few months and I finally feel like I have the skills, motivation, and support system to do this thing, that for me, has been absolutely terrifying. I'm really happy I made the decision to get diagnosed because if I hadn't I wouldn't be making this important step!
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ADHD
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A lot of people on Reddit have been posting pictures of video game characters with an AI filters and it's bothering me so much. It makes me really itchy and makes my breath quick and warm. One time a few months ago I saw AI Generated images of all the different animal kingdoms and I made me want to pull of my skin. I'm glad I have OCD around scars as well so I don't pick my skin as much as I'd want to. I still want to molt my skin like a snake though. I saw an AI Generated Image of Hollow Knight and it really bothered me.
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OCD
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I try to explain to my NT friend that my Brain is wired differently so I can't do something as easy as forgetting something that happened but the NT just says "don't use it as an excuse" Completely undermining what i just told them
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aspergers
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I'm going through this sub and thinking, holy shit. This shit is bad. It's very debilitating. People are struggling with relationships, jobs, and education. They're struggling to drive, to have sex, to eat, to, to, to, etc.
Like, this really fucking sucks? Like, really, really? Will it ever get better? I'm on medication (in the UK we've not as many options as you Americans), and it just - - this is it. This is all there is. Just stress, anger, frustration, loneliness etc.
Damn.
Well, I'm off to work a second shift at a job I hate and am already contemplating quitting. Take care, all. Look forward to reading the replies.
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ADHD
|
I moved out and started the divorce process from my mentally abusive ex-wife a little over a year ago. Since then, my quality of life has improved drastically. Currently, I’m living with my girlfriend who is worlds better to me and for me. She really makes an effort to understand and support me through my good days and my bad days. So why is it that when I hear a song that had importance to my ex and I, or see old pictures of us together, I’m overwhelmingly sad? I know that our relationship was devastating to my mental and emotional well-being, and I would NEVER go back, but I can’t get past these memories and things that trigger them. On top of feeling sad, I feel like an absolute idiot for even feeling that way. Once it starts, it’s a super slippery slope into a depressive episode, and I can’t break the cycle. We were married for almost 10 years and together for 15, so memories are everywhere, just waiting to pop up and ruin my day. What do?
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depression
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I wish I weren't a fuck up. I wish I wasn't anxious all the time. I wish I could stop feeling lonely. I wish I could get a good night's sleep. I wish I could trust people.
I wish I could go a day or two without having panic attacks. I wish I could go a day without crying. I wish I had the energy or motivation to do anything about it. But I don't. I'm tired. My mind is all over the place. It's going a mile a minute.
I wish I could be proud of myself. Or even satisfied. I wish I could go back to how things were before. Even though I don't deserve to.
I'm tired of feeling like this. But I know I don't deserve change. Cause I don't have the will to do it.
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depression
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My son is 11 years old and has ADHD. This morning he forgot his medication and his coat. his grandmother took him both his coat and medication. My spouse says that he should have to deal with the consequences of his actions, meaning that they would have preferred him to be cold and disruptive. This seems inherently wrong to me. But I need to ask people with ADHD if this is an appropriate consequence or if this is cruelty? I’m sorry I don’t know how to word this fairly well. Thank you.
ETA: thank you everyone for your responses. They are very heartening, and I'm glad to see that my instinct wasn't wrong. My worry is that my spouse will dismiss the "diabetic insulin" argument by saying these two things aren't the same. Or that I asked strangers on the internet for advice. Still, this is really helpful! Thank you all so much!
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ADHD
|
I don’t know where else to post this. I should start by saying I have no intentions or ideations of self harm. However, two weeks ago in an attempt to stop some jackhat from drinking and driving, he backed over me and drove back over me. The car was in park when I approached it and he had just gotten in. The next thing I know, I’m waking up to paramedic voices, friends voices, red flashing lights and feeling myself blood and teeth. It’s a “miracle” I didn’t sustain much worse injuries than fractures and cracked bones as well as several missing teeth and a face torn to shreds and fractures.
However…the more time that passes by, I just wish it had killed me. I’ve been thru a lot. Lost my mother to suicide in my teens. Then got stuck with emotionally and mentally abusing godparents who ended up taking a large amount of money that was supposed to be for me. Sexually abused (not physically) but verbally and encouraged to dress promiscuously. They even paired me up with a guy in his early 20s when I was 16. My whole life’s been one thing after the other and I was finally finding some peace and solace thru meds, therapy, a career change, etc.
I tried to help someone and here I am. Busted up, sore, having to give up some independence and lost my job yesterday bc I’ll be off work until 8/16. And this guys still running around out there apparently having quite the preexisting record.
I’m just tired. More tired than I’ve ever been and wish so much it could’ve just ended that night. But I can’t say that to anyone because “I should be grateful” and that would “be selfish”.
I just feel so trapped. And the cherry on top…can’t post about it or the opposing counsel (insurance company) can hold it against me.
I’m sick and tired of this world and being ran over literally and figuratively. “Well you must have an unfulfilled purpose”.
I don’t care anymore. I don’t want to care anymore.
/vent
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ptsd
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My ocd is about always doing wrong and I feel like I'm working out for the wrong reasons like to impressive others or to look good. I feel that's wrong because I want to be able to attract women best for religious reasons I feel it is wrong just sucks. Or when I start feeling good and have motivation I feel like im screwing up because its just my OCD making me obsess over it and that's not good for my OCD never a peaceful moment but we got this guys.
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OCD
|
No matter what I do I can't focus. I read things over and over again but the words don't mean anything, I look at them, I understand them, but only as individual words, they don't make sense together.
There's also issues of not being able to focus at all with background noise which contributes, and frustrates me.
Is there anything I can do to help myself
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ptsd
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I just heard that quote and I've never related to anything more than this, I feel like I can do a lot of random things and is pretty decent at them but not excellent.
It gets stressful when people assume I can do anything because they see me perform well in many things but the truth is that is what just a hyperfixaion once and it just stuck with me.
does anyone feel this way too or is it just me?
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ADHD
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Does it bother anyone that words are not spelled alphabetically?
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/ophrck)
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OCD
|
“You don’t need that other shit you just need discipline”
“You need to learn how to focus”
“Its ironic how you can pay attention to what you want. You made the (psychiatrist’s) appointment, got there on time and got your father to drive you there. You can focus on want. This proves my point exactly. “
I’m sick and tired of non-experts offering their opinion on my diagnosis. ADD inattentive type and the list of accompanying symptoms describes my pattern of behavior perfectly, yet the ‘adults’ in my life are skeptical. I’m going to just stop telling these people I have ADD.
It’s really frustrating, almost infuriating. I’ve come to realize that they aren’t in my head so they can’t see just how symptomatic I am.
I’m very frustrated and I feel like my condition is being invalidated by the people I love and am supposed to be able to trust the most.
I’ve come to accept that I will retain these feelings of isolation indefinitely and that all I can do is essentially nothing—just to move onwards with an increased understanding of how I perceive the world and why (neurologically) I am the way I am.
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ADHD
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I have ADHD and one part of it is having a difficult time getting started. I'm putting this list out here in the hopes that the universe kind of shows me the way.
* I want to make a set of pro wrestling gear
* I want to make a mock up of a video game using motion graphics
*I want to finally get my idea for a positivity blog/vlog/podcast started
*I want to make a 3d model that has a medium level of difficulty
*I want to find a side hustle where I'd make enough where I wouldn't feel like I HAD to stay at my current job for financial reasons
*I want to make a speciality cake from scratch.
*I want to follow through on art projects
*I want to test myself as an actor (currently just a guy that thinks he'd be good at it)
*I want to have a great idea for a script or book that I see all the way through and be something people want to read
* I want to be able to take my shirt off and people take notice in a positive way
*I want to test my skills as a wrestling manager, commentator, announcer, and show runner on a bigger platform than I am on currently to know if Ive really got a knack for it or just a big fish in a small pond.
*I want to put myself out there as a singer. Not to make a career but to see if others would think I have some level of talent there.
*I want to have a foundation of knowledge for working with my hands doing woodworking etc so that I could fufill a desire of mine to upcycle furniture and resell it for profit.
These are all I can think of currently and if you take the time to read or take a step further and direct me
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ADHD
|
Hey everyone, I'm just going to start off with some backstory.
I am 16F and I've always had issues with symptoms that are related to ADHD. From a young age, many teachers and many of my classmates and friends have pointed out that I show a lot of symptoms of it, and I strongly believe I have it because it also runs in my family. Back in August, I went to my pediatrician with concerns about ADHD, and she gave my mom a list of psychiatrists that we can get in contact with. My parents still follow the negative stigma that surrounds mental disorders, so they never got around to contacting anyone. After expressing these events to my closest friend, he offered me to take some of his medication, since he also has ADHD. I don't take it daily at all, and only take it when I know I have a lot to do, or if I have something important coming up for school.
Every time I take the medication, I feel as if I have unlocked a new level of freedom in my life, and my brain feels so quiet that it brings me so much happiness and relief that I can't even explain. Homework that would normally take me the entire night to do, would now take me max of 2 hours because I finally have motivation to do it. I feel like a normal person with normal thoughts when I am on that medication, and I feel as if I finally unlocked the ability to prioritize tasks and get my stuff together.
I finally got the courage to bring this topic up to my parents again earlier tonight, and even though they were iffy about it, they still supported me as much as they could and told me that they want me to find a psychiatrist that covers my insurance and do as much as I can. I finally found one after some searching, and I couldn't be happier.
My question is, should I be honest to my new psychiatrist about the medication I've been taking? I am fully aware that it is dangerous and illegal to take someone else's prescribed medication, but it helps me so much to the point where I cry tears of happiness because I feel so normal on it. Would I get myself or my friend in trouble if I were honest?
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ADHD
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I’m pretty bad at thinking ahead
So like a couple months ago I bought Subnautica on steam and I love it (I don’t play it very often, but I still really like it). Now I have a Nintendo Switch and want Subnautica on that too, but my save data won’t transfer and I’ll have to play another $30. Also on my laptop, they make you buy the music separately (which is such a shitty thing to do in the first place) so I actually paid $40. I know this is not necessary an ADHD thing I just wanted to rant a little. Also sorry for the childish writing, I either write like an English scholar or like a 2 year old. (I was gonna post this in on of those mega-threads like the boy said, but I don’t know how to do that on mobile)
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ADHD
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Hi guys, I was diagnosed retrospectively with ADHD this year. Before my diagnosis I had really no knowledge on the subject and its amazing to see how common symptoms are able to explain a lot of my behaviours and difficulties I've had since childhood.
I was started on Vyvanse 30mg titrated up to 60mg over the course of a few months and have now been prescribed Dexedrine 5-10mg as a top up because Vyvanse's cognitive effects wear off for me after 4-5 hours. I see great potential in the meds but I'm reaching unhealthy territory with my dosages and it seems like no matter what dose Amphetamines just seem to fall short of true symptom relief. (I know these dosages are subjectively "too high")
Amphetamines give me the motivation to complete menial tasks and chores regularly (which is a huge improvement for me) and I'm now able to communicate my thoughts properly enough to engage with people socially. I do however still struggle very much so with hyperfocus and distractibility, that is: I'm very productive and efficient in what I find rewarding but still cant force myself to focus on "boring" endeavours especially school work. I'm primarily inattentive and have gotten into a great deal of trouble in the past due to impulsivity and risk taking. It seems that Amphetamines work wonders for my impulsive behaviour, motivation and organizational skills but I've found little to no relief for my attention problems. It still takes me multiple attempts to comprehend a paragraph of uninteresting text for example.
As far as side effects go I experience an elevated heart rate which would cause me anxiety until I was reassured by my doctor that it was fine, now its only mildly uncomfortable at times instead of panic-inducing.
My question for you today is if its possible Methylphenidate could be more effective for me as an individual. I know nobody can answer this for me specifically but I'd like to hear if anyone has made the switch and found success. And what factors are at play determining how one would respond to either class of stimulants? I have a feeling my body isnt metabolizing Amphetamines correctly or efficiently, as Vyvanse only lasts me 4-5 hours and Dexedrine lasts for only 2.
Thank you in advance, I'd love to hear your experiences
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ADHD
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(even though i know it triggers my OCD) i used to read lots of horror stuff, and every time i read something about an apocalypse i got so scared and thought it would happen the next day. i know its all fiction but it still triggers. that fear is at is worst now, please help.
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OCD
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Hey, so my long term partner (27F) recently ended our engagement and I'm heartbroken. I can see that during lockdown (we are in the UK) I became dependent on her. I needed constant affirmation and support. She has a much more avoidant attachment style than me and as we came out of lockdown she struggled with a lack of independence. And this seems to be the main reason for our relationship ending.
But one other thing is that of me acting upset when we didn't have sex. And I know that is awful from me and it is something I'm working on now but I have been talking to my new therapist about sex & adhd, and I have been wondering about other people's experiences of high sex drives and adhd - or whether they are unrelated in me.
I want it known that no matter what level my sex drive got to there is no excuse for how I behaved and although I never forced anything - I did make her feel pressured and that being wrong is not up for debate.
Any thoughts and ideas on this topic would be much appreciated.
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ADHD
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I’m a 20F who has suffered from anxiety since puberty. My symptoms have been everything: self harm, eating disorders, ocd, depression/ thoughts of suicide, and now I’m 23 with driving anxiety. I haven’t been able to drive myself to work in months because I’m too fearful that I’m just “bad” and something terrible will naturally happen. I don’t want to die, but often I wish I could just stop existing or be someone else. It’s like my mental illness is always manifesting into something and I can’t blame puberty anymore, I’m just damaged and ill. I get so exhausted, I don’t wanna be a crazy person my whole life but that’s just how it’s going. It’s like how long do I have to be lonely and insecure? How long will I have to be a slave to my own chemistry and hormones? The worst part is I don’t even wanna drive, I just wanna give up but not trying just constantly reminds me of what I lack, I guess I’m just sick of being me
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depression
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Basically there’s someone in my class who is the most annoying person in the world. Like I literally want to kick them when I look at them. Just everything they say and how they dress to their voice and what they do is so annoying. Ugh. And I had to sit next to them yesterday in my history exam. And they have this really annoying habit that they do every minute of every day where they are non-stop flicking at their hair, like hand up to bad of head and like twiddling it and touching it, and I’ve seen them do it before and I’m like why?
But then yesterday my OCD brain decided that what I become obsessed with them doing that and it’s all that I think about and it ruins my exams? And you know what happened? It’s all I’ve thought about for the past day and a half. I hate it. I literally hate it because I dislike this person so much and every thirty seconds I am bombarded with a thought of them. And I literally see them doing it all day in real life which doesn’t help. Yeah so it’s ruined my entire day today and yesterday and sometimes when I have the thought I’m not even thinking of them or the action it’s just a thought about nothing but I know it has to ruin my day?
yeah my brains a little weird.
Anyone know what to do?
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OCD
|
I'm so frustrated inside. I had a migraine headache since Wednesday. On Thursday night my husband, who I love dearly and is "a typical", looked annoyed and then it happened. He started complaining about the house. Which btw isn't dirty, just a little cluttered in spots. He said if we, meaning me and our 18 year old daughter, keep down this path he's going to close himself off in another room so he doesn't have to see it anymore. Yes he sounds like a big a**, but he has dealt with me for 22 years. No matter how hard I try, I just go back to the same unmotivated self. I honestly am thankful for him, besides this every month conversation. Why can't normal people look past the junk and focus on the person instead? Why am I so hard to understand? Please don't bash him. I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for him. I just can't grasp his frustration and the focus on my flaws. I have tried to change ever since I was a kid. I know all the tips and tricks but they last a week and then I get distracted and right back where I started from. Sigh. I needed to vent.
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ADHD
|
I’m a 25 year old guy with major depression disorder and I’ve never been in a relationship that’s longer than 3 weeks. I’ve gotten so used to the idea that I’ll always be alone that when I have dreams of being happy and in a loving relationship I realize I must be dreaming and automatically wake up.
I have such a low confidence in myself that I think I must be dreaming if someone wants to be with me. I tell myself that nobody could ever love me in real life so if it ever happens I must be dreaming.
It doesn’t help that I’ve never been with anyone intimately. I hate that I’ve grown up with the idea that if you’re still a virgin man then there must be something wrong with you. I’m also terrified that I’ll automatically be rejected because I don’t have any experience. I know that these thoughts are illogical and it doesn’t matter if a 25 year old guy is still a virgin, but I grew up thinking that a guy can only have value if he’s had sex. Honestly, it’s not really the sex that I want, I just want to cuddle up with someone and wrap my arms around them and know that I could talk to them about anything and everything.
I’m trying really hard to not cry while writing this because of how alone I feel.
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depression
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So people are arguably depressed for all sorts of reasons, whether relationships, or family issues, professional, or serious trauma, addiction etc etc. But how about being depressed for intensely selfish things, such as not being filthy rich or not living on a tropical island. Or maybe, maybe depression that others simply have a better life than you, and it feels unjust, a sort of grass is very definitely greener on the other side depression. Just asking for a friend.
Depression caused by envy, greed, and lust.
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depression
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I’ve been on adderall for 2 years.
I have been having problems with my adderall being effective for months now. I keep losing things, procrastinating, can’t focus at all, grades have dropped significantly. I thought this was because I was tolerant to my normal dose of 20mg so my psychiatrist raised me to 30mg and still absolutely nothing.
Today I got so frustrated I took 60mg at once to see if i could get anything done as it’s the end of the semester. 2 hours later i feel nothing, just have a headache now. WTF IS GOING ON? I just want to be able to get things done again. It’s causing me so much anxiety and i feel hopeless.
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ADHD
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So I was diagnosed with ADHD in September and started taking Adderall shortly after. I’m a college student, a college senior!! I don’t know how I got this far without medication honestly(I struggled a lot). it’s been really helpful for me personally. I’m much less stressed and anxious, my mind is a lot more calm. focus in class and on assignments have been much more optimal.
However, I’m still really struggling with appetite and remembering to eat. I also have C-PTSD so my other medications are suppressing my appetite even more. I’m a bit worried about my physical health because of this. I feel a bit weak physically.
Are there any tips on remembering to eat food? I’ve never been a breakfast or morning person.
More specifically, healthy non-perishables I can keep in my bedroom or backpack to eat? vitamins? supplements? Protein shake recommendations—drink additives that are similar to protein shakes that will give my body what it needs to be healthy and keep me from losing too much weight?
thank you, community.
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ADHD
|
Recently I have had an issue with intrusive thoughts, specifically an uncontrollable instinct to think offensive words in reaction to situations and people that drive my anxiety. This intensifies my anxiety because I worry about saying an offensive word aloud, especially in a professional setting.
Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice?
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OCD
|
For those of you here that use smart watches: is there anything you have found particularly useful with your device in terms of your ADHD? On the other side, has your smart watch just given you another avenue of distraction?
I'm particularly interested in the Samsung Galaxy Watch 4 and the Fitbit Charge 5. I like the customization of the GW4, but also think the Fitbit might be more focused.
I'm interested to hear your thoughts, good or bad.
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ADHD
|
I nearly died in a car crash a month ago. To summarize it, I was with a guy who practically held me hostage all night. I just wanted to hang and make a new friend, but he was looking for so so much more. He wouldn't stop touching me, even when I told him that I was unsure I wanted anything with him. He was like a predator, always keeping his hands on me and trying to convince me to sleep with him and be his girlfriend. I had no idea how to call for help, I had never been in this situation before and I feared if I called for help he'd just throw out my phone or do something worse to me.
He drank a lot that night, and I don't drink so I don't know what super drunk looks like or how much alcohol it takes. He had more to drink before I even got in that car, and I didn't even know.
I told him to drive me home. He said, "after we go to my apartment first"
next thing I know he swerves while I'm completely conscious, and I experience everything. I was awake the whole time.
The seatbelt tore my bowels and caused internal bleeding that nearly killed me, and had me get emergency surgery and spend a whole week in the ICU.
For weeks I didn't feel much other than physical pain, but now that it's died down all of the emotional pain is rushing in. I'm angry. I feel violated. This was supposed to be my senior year of high school and now it's been ruined. Even before the accident, I had so many shitty things happen to me and now this just feels like a slap in the face. I don't believe anything good will ever happen in my future, I don't even think I deserved to survive.
I think I might be getting flashbacks or something like that. There are moments where I will just randomly remember something specific about the accident and start to feel anxious, irritated, and terrified. They aren't dream-like or super vivid, but I will remember something like the smell of the car after we crashed, or the airbags, or the feeling of the seatbelt holding onto me so tight as the impact hit.
I don't even know if I have severe PTSD. I don't get any nightmares (or haven't yet) of the incident, but I do get anxious when I'm in a car or I see someone driving so recklessly and fast on the road.
If anything, I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts and wishes of being dead. I don't think I could ever do something to myself, but part of me wishes I died, or that I deserved to die. It's been rough.
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ptsd
|
So I told my partner what's been going on with my head basically, for some reason something must have triggered me or it's my antidepressants not doing the job but my depression has gotten worse and so have my flashbacks. I've just been drained and sleeping most of the time because I have no energy really, I told my partner this and he said he'll do his best to support me.
Honestly thought I would get the same reaction I got from my ex which was being left on read but no he actually asked if I was okay, any triggers I may have, and what he can do to help. Which to be honest left me stunned I guess. I wasn't expecting that and had no clue what to say except "Thank you". I haven't had this kind of support from a romantic partner in years and it feels good.
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ptsd
|
So basically, I finally got seen by the mental health team the other day and I explained how badly my ADHD is ruining most aspects of my life right now, including how I just physically cannot get anything done (school work, housework, anything that requires brainpower). I also explained how the reason I can't do these things is that my focus and attention is so shot that I find it so difficult to keep on task for longer than a few minutes.
Admittedly, yeah, I am super frustrated and sad right now because of all of this, but I'm also not depressed. If my ADHD was being treated and I found it manageable, my mood wouldn't even be an issue. I also explained how in the past (pre-diagnosis) I have had horrible experiences with ant-depressants, like, I hate being medicated in any aspect and it's only recently that I've accepted I do in fact need it for my ADHD.
I don't want to sound ignorant, but why are they insisting I take anti-depressants instead of trying to help me get into treatment for ADHD? I'm genuinely curious to know if anyone can explain the reasoning behind this, I'm so reluctant to go on them because of past experience.
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ADHD
|
I'm going to the movies later and my OCD is already starting to disturb me. I'm afraid people are gonna stare at me, I'm gonna get someone's popcorn on me somehow, or I'm going to end up having an existential crisis in the middle of the movie. How do I ease myself so I don't freak out?
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OCD
|
I hate getting up and doing anything. My part time job is shit. With trying to deal with this and school and work I barely have time for myself. I still feel insanely lonely even though I’m trying to be social. It feels like nobody really connects. Thinking of writing songs again to cope but I don’t have the fucking time :/
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depression
|
I’m in an in-store retail management position, which semi-frequently involves reading poorly formatted, information and task-heavy documents. I have both severe ADHD and an auditory processing disorder, and between customers and the store’s playlist it’s nearly impossible for me to discern the words on the screen, let alone find meaning in them.
I’m certain my boss would be willing to help me navigate this issue, but I want to come to her with specific ideas of how we can make it work, especially since I have a nagging feeling that HR’s ideas would be largely useless and/or irrelevant.
Does anyone have any suggestions? What’s worked for you all in the past? Any and all ideas are welcome!
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ADHD
|
I was diagnosed with OCD at 16, but had had symptoms since early childhood that went unnoticed. It's genetic. Started with an imaginary friend who would tell me what to do (repetition, tics, and the like). Then several significant tics came along as I got a bit older (clicking my teeth to the beat, repeating the words "excuse me" until it felt right, suctioning my top lip to my nose (yes, this one is embarrassing and weird)). I went to a therapist after my diagnosis but was told that my OCD was caused by my weight and I just needed to lose weight to "cure it". Haven't gone back since.
But I recently noticed that when I'm mentioning my OCD, I talk about it as thought it's not me or my brain? If that makes sense? Like my mom will ask "why are you doing that?" and I'll say "my OCD is making me do it" or "my OCD told me to do it". Like I never acknowledge that it's my own brain telling me to do this. Is this something to be concerned about or am I just overthinking things?
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OCD
|
I had to rehome my pets due to my OCD. My OCD has become so severe to the point I can’t even eat food. It has become debilitating. I knew I couldn’t take care of them anymore like I used to and it hurts a lot. I love them a lot and I wanted what’s best. So, that meant rehoming them.
I rehomed them today and I knew it was the right choice but it hurts to see a pet you had since you were in middle school in the hands of their new family. I’ve never experienced this type of loss before.
I’m just angry at myself for letting my OCD get this bad.
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OCD
|
I usually fall asleep fine, but I often wake up too early and can't get back to sleep. I'll feel some tension, my mind will be racing. I just want to think rather than sleep, but thinking is so much nicer when I'm well rested.
I've used various medications to help me sleep, but that comes with its own cost and it's not what I prefer.
What kinds of strategies do you use to help you get a full nights' sleep more regularly?
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aspergers
|
I am 19 and when I was younger let’s say maybe 13 and under I was very extroverted and energetic but as I grew older I became more introverted, more shy, and more depressed. I also have a black and white view on the world and people. I don’t like people nor do I like any of y’all since most of y’all probably feel the same way about me too.
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aspergers
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Has anyone else's intrusive thoughts came in a manor where the voice in your head says something along the lines of you will enjoy them? or you will take pleasure in them?
This started happening last year after i tried to expose myself to the anxiety by agreeing with the thoughts.... the thoughts got worse and worse in everyway but the initial anxiety left.... now im stuck in thought loops saying i will enjoy "intrusive thought" amongst other thought loops or ear worms. I felt like i have in someway identified with it and now have a false identity. I still have huge anxiety spikes. The promise of intrusive thoughts fading away has not lived up on the contrary.
Its funny because when the feeling causes to check your thoughts, bang the intrusive thought magically appears on command and the spike is greater but... if I intentionally think of something disgusting along the theme I barely get the undesired feeling. More like and eww weird and move on. which is bizarre.
Im convinced a month long coma will let me forget about ocd and the themes that come along with it. Idk why but the sound of a long nap would fill up my cup.
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OCD
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FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
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depression
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So I don’t have any compulsions like counting or washing my hands. However, I have these obsessions where my brain just won’t stop thinking about a song sometimes for days. I will occasionally obsess over images or words too. For example I saw a picture of Pennywise (the clown) and had his image in my mind for around 3 days and I couldn’t get rid of it. Is this Pure O?? My psychiatrist tells me “no idea what you have but I don’t think it’s OCD”. That’s all I ever hear.
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OCD
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Today is the day I got diagnosed with primarily obsessive OCD and it’s been a relief to finally know what on earth has been fucking with my mind since 2019. Extremely intrusive and disturbing thoughts led me to question my own morality and senses, but it’s a joy knowing they’re my unconscious thoughts popping into my mind. I got prescriped fluvoxamine, and alprazolam for just 4 weeks, has anyone had experience with it?
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OCD
|
Hi everyone. This is long; I got on a tangent.
TLDR; ADHD adult with comorbidities that make me feel there will never be a treatment that works for me. Not because of the diagnoses, but because it feels like nothing has worked and now as an adult the feat of getting the spealized help I might need seems too daunting/impossible. Can't get stimulants, possible risk of triggering mania. Bipolar II has since been changed to BP I; (C-PTSD, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, OCD, ADHD comorbidities). Has anyone been able to get over the hoplessness of your medical record looking like a DSM bingo card?
The only time I felt hopeful was in the hospital where I was essentially in a sterile, contactless void.
​
Tangent follows:
I (30 F) was diagnosed around 12 years ago (comorbid PTSD, Bipolar II at the time) and used to take stimulants and SSRIs at the time. I stopped when associates would ask if I had 'extras' they could 'borrow' and I learned people abused stimulants. I also learned people around me would intentionally dose up on certain antidepressants (I won't name which to discourage copycats) I was taking to become as they said 'the perfect cheap drunk'.
Stigma (and my own delusion) really hurt me in my early years getting effective treatment, knowing when to push back with providers and when to capitulate. Now I am a single mom with a bingo card of symptoms just desperate for hope that somehting will one day be ok. I stupidly refused meds when they might have helped, and now can't get any because I look like a drug-seeking adult.
I have been hospitalized twice, been on 6 different antidepressants, anti-psychotics, mood stablizers, short-term benzos in inpatient, tried self-medicating with cannabis and alcohol, lived the gym rat life, did raw food diet for months, whatever I tried in the last 12 years has only kept my head above water enough for me to survive into single motherhood post-abusive relationship. Assault and repeat events are to blame for the C-PTSD, ADHD never helped me wrangle the 'gifted ideas' and turn them into anything substantial so I'm in jeopardy of lsing my job because everytime it's the same issue of not being able to deliver.
I apologize for rambling, I'm really bad with being succinct; any of my past posts will tell you this much. I'm just wondering what to do honest to God. I just got over six months of anxiety attacks every other day ABOUT seeing a prescriber and the fear they would not believe me, think I am lying, think I am making things up about myself, and everything else you can imagine. I was too afraid to ask if I can go on stimulants again to try and reign in my brain so I can do the things I sit in front of my computer for hours a day looking at and crying about.
I just can't make my hands do the thing. I try and try and only when I'm in the weird high of (apparent) hypomania is everything ok in my world. The fear is still there, the racing thoughts and all are definitely present, but my ideas are so 'amazing' and 'revolutionary' I literally can't NOT do something about them. I become goal oriented and my coworkers have used the phrase 'like a machine'.
but then a week or two later I just want to disappear. But the thoughts are still racing. I'm miserable and want to evaporate but then the stupid thoughts and ideas are just STILL COMING. I just want silence and solitude and to stop existing but no my brain wants me to develop schematics for a fuckin "crush vest" for emergency rescue so people in landslides and earthquakes can maintain a minimum diameter of chest expansion no matter the crush force applied like a stupid ratcheting vest that expands when they breathe but doesn't contract like how TF would I EVER MAKE THAT WITH NO SKILLS AND ITS ONLY WHEN I WANT TO STOP EXISTING DO I SEE THE IDEAS ARE ALL STUPID AND I AM JUST STUCK IN THIS VICOUS LOOP WITH A BROKEN BRAIN
I'm afraid to ask for inpatient because my son might be taken away (the state I live in ain't so nice to moms w/severe mental illness), I don't know if this new medication will help me be an adult. I can't do basic chores if my brain is stuck on an idea or a string of ideas or if I am fatigued and falling down when I stand (or worse, sensory aversion won't let me touch my own stupid plates that I myself made dirty wtf), I can't ask for in-home help for the same reason as above (I love my child far more than I ever liked myself and would step into traffic for him), but I do not have any good feelings about my life here on out. I'm an imposter who snuck into this job and I wonder how bad things would be in subsidized housing on assitance at this point. At least if I don't have as much responsibility there are less ways to fail so miserably.
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ADHD
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I was re-diagnosed (as an adult) 2 days ago! The validation is pretty amazing. Though I must say it didn't bring the relief I thought it would. Of course, I probably haven't really processed how much this has affected my throughout my life. So, once that realization hits and I also then realize that I have a reason - not an excuse, but a reason! - it probably will hit like a ton of bricks.
I was prescribed 40mg of Vyvanse. I after doing a bit of research, it seems that's a bit higher than the typically prescribed initial dose. But it's working wonders already. My energy seems to be more available to me. I don't seem to be wasting it on wheel spinning or being angry at nothing in particular. I'm not wasting a ton of steps because I keep forgetting the one thing I went for. I haven't yet noticed a huge improvement to working memory. But I'm hoping that comes with time.
I'm just super excited that I'm progressing on my journey towards being a whole, healthy human.
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ADHD
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made my mind up Friday is the day it’s tricky because I’m a 44-year-old mom my girls are 10 and 12 I’m gonna miss them so goddamn much but I told my husband of my plans and I begged him to tell them it was an accident
plan is to go up to the mountains supposed to be pretty cold and try my best to die by the elements with drugs in my system
I did contact my counselor he said some really kind things and then called my husband and told him exactly what to do to save me and he did not do anything she told him to
he actually told me he would give me money for my trip to Virginia on Friday so I could die peacefully so that was nice of him
this self hate is overwhelming and I can’t live every day with this pain it hurts too goddamn bad
just an opened wound And then the realization that I am so fucking unstable I can’t function and that I am worthless piece of shit impulsive and I don’t know how to be calm and I’m just fucking awful
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depression
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It’s like a cycle. I’ll get extreme anxiety/guilt over anything, past or present. It stays with me for x amount of time, then goes away because something else replaces it, and it’s in my head 24/7 until that gets replaced.
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OCD
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We don't know yet if he has or not a bad cancer on his neck, because the results from the biopsy aren't ready yet. But he is decaying really fast, he now doesn't want to eat at all (before he literally wouldn't ever be full from eating, he really liked to eat a lot). He can barely keep himself up, and when he walks, he starts to lose his balance. He is just all day laying in his bed, because he is in a really bad state.
It's just depressing, honestly. He has been there almost all my life, since I was 3 years old. I don't know what else to say, just that this fucking sucks.
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depression
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And how long does it last?
Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one in the world who feels this overwhelmed by it. It’s all I think about, especially after getting sober and no longer having any negative ways to numb it out.
I feel so alienated and weird or annoying for talking about it so much. Can others relate?
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ptsd
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I recently got tested for OCD, anxiety, ADHD, and any possible mood disorder.
Today, I was diagnosed with OCD, Generalized anxiety, PTSD, and Clinical depression. My psychiatrist is also 95% certain I have social anxiety. Now, I have several ADHD symptoms. If anything, they were the first symptoms to show as a child. I even repeated a grade in school over those symptoms.
My psychiatrist said I show strong symptoms of ADHD, however, it could be caused from the anxiety symptoms. And will not put me on ADHD medications because of that.
I feel kinda annoyed since I feel I definitely have it and it’s affected me so much. Especially with my school work and now I cannot get accommodations.
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ADHD
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Hi, I'm hoping to share some advice that has helped me with my intrusive thoughts. I'm in my early 30s. I've had serious health anxiety since I was a young kid. Truth is I had IT thoughts too but once I healed my health anxiety, IT reared it's ugly head. That's when shit got real.
To cut to the chase, the guilt I've felt my whole life has been feeling shame for having anxiety. How did I cope and remain high functioning? I drank coffee, drank alcohol, and ate junk food to keep myself going. If a SINGLE SOUL could have told me in my 20s "hey caffeine is bad for anxiety, hey alcohol throws your neurotransmitters (the good ones) off for days if you have anxiety, and junk food is leaving you depleted nutrionally and fueling your anxiety, I would have spared myself years of anxiety.
I'm venting because after two weeks of less caffeine, no booze, and protein filled eating, guess what? The intrusive thoughts have not only lessened a lot but I'm finding myself wondering where they are at during the normal trigger situations...not a bad thing.
With the help of my therapist kicking my ass to finally accept lifestyle behaviors are throwing my system off, I'm better. And I'm just trying to share with other people who deal with this that sometimes we really need to do a hard check on our diet. Keep caffeine and booze if you want, but really, it's about nutrition at least to some degree. It takes energy to live with ocd. If we aren't fueling ourselves, we add to the problem.
It's be good to hear if people notice it helps to eat something other than ramen noodles for a bit.
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OCD
|
I am almost 37, I have three amazing kids, and honestly… they’re the only reason I’m still here. Their dad and I split up five years ago, not because our marriage was bad, we just weren’t in love with each other. We’re still good friends and co parent well, and he has helped me quite a bit. I met someone else almost immediately, and he and I are still together and have a place together for the last year and a half. I love him more than I thought I could love someone. But we’re not in a good place. I sleep on the couch, he in the bedroom. It’s been this way for months. We’re not intimate. We have major issues with his ex wife, her blaming me for breaking up their marriage and family (he’d asked for a divorce long before I came along but she never listened), she still thinks he wants to come home to her and I won’t let him. His kids hate me and have nothing to do with me. His mom and sister have always welcomed me with open arms; they’ve always said I was the best thing to ever happen to him, they’ve never seen him he way he is with me. I don’t want our relationship to end, but I don’t know what to do.
I lost my Gramma a year ago last week, and my best childhood friend a year ago next week. My brother in law, on Christmas Eve six years ago. Christmas isn’t a good time for me anymore. I try for my kids sake, but I couldn’t even get them any gifts this year. My baby turned 10 on the 19th and I couldn’t do anything for him. A very kind stranger reached out and had some gifts sent for my babies. I cried, because at least now they have something to open on Christmas Day. But I also just feel like a failure. I miss my Gramma so much… my bio mom is a narcissist and an addict; I lived with my grandparents half of my life and she was my real mom. But, when she was being taken off of life support, they only allowed bio mom and her sister in the room. She didn’t have a good relationship with my Gramma, and I believe she did this out of spite just so I couldn’t say goodbye in person. What I wouldn’t give for one of my Grammas hugs right now.
I started having symptoms of depression and anxiety before the age of ten. When I told my mother about this, she would say I was just wanting attention and ignored it. I struggled for years until as an adult I finally went to see a doctor and got an official diagnosis and on meds. I did ok for a long time, but this last year I haven’t been on my meds, and the depression has such a strong hold on me. I feel alone. I feel like a failure. I feel as if I just went away, it would be better for everyone I do love. I won’t take my life, I won’t do that to my kids… but I’m struggling really badly right now. I just want Christmas to be over.
Anyway… sorry for the rant. I just don’t have anyone to talk to and needed to vent or talk or whatever, just get some of it out.
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depression
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I’m new to the flashbacks, new to the diagnosis too. I had an intense emotional flashback at work today and it was horrible. I managed to calm myself down and get out of it, but I’m left feeling foggy, exhausted, numb, dissociated. Is this common, or what does it feel like for you?
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ptsd
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Is it worth doing a B12 Vitamin test for crippling ocd ?
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OCD
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