body
stringlengths 51
39.8k
| subreddit
stringclasses 5
values |
|---|---|
I hate seeing all of my friends do well in life, not because I'm jealous, but because their success reinforces the fact that I'm a complete failure. I have no reason to be depressed, I have a perfect home life, it's just hereditary. And now I feel even worse because I have had to give up self harm because my mum found out. All I want to do is stay in bed all day... And it's going to take the doctors a very long time to help. Life is hell.
|
depression
|
I tried. I tried so hard to make a study plan. I did end up making a plan laid out for 30 days. I thought I had one last month of a chance to change my scores.
But then I had to go and ruin everything by not following it. I now have 5 days left until my college entrance exam. I know I can't retake them, because I know I will not be studying. I have no other skills or life plan. I have to get into college, but now it's just a gamble that I can't control.
ADHD freaking sucks. Having ADHD with depression and social anxiety sucks. The fact that I only get to be tested for ADHD after the exam sucks. The fact that I never had the chance to get help until recently sucks.
What I just freaking had to do: follow up on the lectures and review history, which I keep failing to memorize
What I did: watch youtube, browse twitter, sleep to escape reality, imagine myself becoming popular, get anxiety attacks from hyperfocusing on friendships. FOR 25 DAYS.
I know I'm not getting into the college of my choice and my life is starting off bad already. Sure people say "college is not everything," but my Korean society thinks it is. I again also have absolutely no skills to keep me living.
|
ADHD
|
So in short, one day at the car a few years ago, i thought " i had enough of this thing ( i still didnt know it was ocd ) i'll take random numbers combine them and guess the answer in a second to prove its wrong. If it will be wrong then it is not real. If its not wrong then its real and also i will get a punishment". I thought and chose the numbers 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. And i chose the answer 55... And then... i did the math... 1 plus 2 is 3... plus 3 is 6.... plus 4 is 10... plus 5 is 15...plus 6 is 21...plus 7 is 28... plus 8 is 36... plus 9 is 45... plus 10....... is 55. I opened my eyes in shock and checked the calculator and it was right. I was in insane fear and because of that my ccd became a bit stronger. I am still scared of this event.
|
OCD
|
Some examples:
GeoWizard's straight line challenge, in which it was Tom and his friend Greg. Initially I didn't watch it for a while because of that. I think eventually I got really bored so I watched it.
CodysLab videos that include his Dad or his ex.
Lawn Care Juggernaut videos that have his brother(?) also mowing the lawn.
I tried for a little bit to think what it could be, but I don't know. I do however believe it's related to my second-hand embarrassment in TV shows and movies.
It's odd, but it is something I feel. I assume it's not common, but I am wondering if anyone else feels this. Even if you don't, I would love to hear what you think it might be if you have any idea.
|
aspergers
|
Hello everyone,
I started therapy 3 months ago after being quarantined and having what I learned later was intense OCD intrusive thoughts. I had been struggling for a few months up until that breaking point and I felt that needed someone to talk to urgently. Being stuck inside and living abroad, I looked for therapist online and booked the first one that was available. I did not do any research about my therapist' background or specialities as I originally just wanted to vent to someone and express my distress. It was my first time reaching for help so I didn't know what to look for.
During our first session, she diagnosed me with OCD and recommended to do more sessions which I accepted. 3 months later, I feel like I understand better how my OCD and anxiety works. I reached a point where I know what's going on when I have OCD anxiety and have the tools to fight it. Even if my OCD is still there, I feel like I made a lot of progress.
However I decided to end it with my therapist last night and I'm still very unsure about my decision.
After a little more than one month of therapy, I started to question if my therapist was a good fit for me. She's lovely and has a very kind heart. I can feel she's really here for me and I felt like I was being seen and understood. However, many things made me wonder if I should change therapist:
1. She's always late. I reached a point when I already know my appointment won't start on time. I can understand if she's 5 minutes late because she had another consultation, but sometimes she would be 30 to 45 minutes late and tell me she was at the store and didn't see the time, she was busy cleaning or she's just behind with all her appointment. I'm always making time for my appointment and get mentally ready to open up, so I started to slightly resent her for not being more respectful and professional about our sessions.
2. She talks a lot about herself. I don't mind knowing more about her as it helped creating a bond between us. But she always insert some personal life story of hers or echoes what I'm saying to her own experiences, and I'm not here for that... At the end of some sessions, I felt like I learned more about her than my own issues...
3. She cuts me off a lot and dismiss some event that I feel were important in how my OCD developped. She would ask me a question and while I answer, she would cut me off to ask something else or sometimes mention something completely unrelated. It make me loose my focus and make me feel frustrated as I'm opening up and being shut down very suddenly. Also, I tried to mention some traumatic experiences several times but she insists that my OCD is linked to my childhood and therefore no need to talk more about my adult life events as it's not the "root" problem.
4. Not all sessions felt productive. I acknowledge that sometimes I wasn't in the mental headspace to do something else than cry because I had a tough week. But sometimes I was ready to tackle deeper topics and we would just review my week and do some positive affirmations together and that's it.
5. I felt like I needed to see an OCD specialist. She worked with OCD patients but it's not her main area. After informing myself a lot online about OCD, I realized that ERP was one of the most recommended approach. However, my therapist wasn't giving me real excercices (saying "just reduce the compulsions") and when I mentionned wanting to do more ERP, she opposed and told me that it could severly backlash my progress if the ERP exercices were too strong. I understand her point of view. However, while I understand my OCD more now, I feel like I'm way more into deep than when I first started therapy... I can't keep slipping slowly like this...
For all these reasons, I wanted to change therapist but was too afraid to actually do it.
Yesterday, I talked with my parents about the financial burden of therapy and how I felt like I should find something else. While my mom is very against psychological therapy, my dad, who met several life coaches to deal with his own anxiety, told me I should stop seeing her and take a break from therapy. He claimed that the goal of therapy was to get the tools to manage my symptoms and that I shouldn't become dependant on the mental support offered by my therapist. It should be a temporary assistance to get back on my own two feet and learn the tools to live with my anxiety. I do feel like I'm dependent on her now. I was and still am in such a dark place that I'm terrified of being by myself. But as mentionned previously, I had my own doubts for a while now so I agreed with them.
I told her I wanted to quit at the beginning of our session yesterday's night and she kept telling me it was a bad idea, that I wasn't ready, that her mix of CBT/Analysis was quite unique and that she could see that CBT was working well on me but that we needed to do more analysis to get to the root issue. The whole session was about it and even when we branched out to talk about my childhood (and how I would always seek my parents approval - funnily enough I hadn't mentionned the conversation with my parents when she started to direct the discussion towards that direction), she would circle it back to therapy and see it as a sign that I need more sessions. She insisted so much. I didn't express all the things mentionned previously, I just told her that i felt like I reached a point where I know what I'm supposed to do to fight the OCD and it's not up to me to get the strength to actually do it. She agreed but insisted that I need to keep seeing her and discuss more about my childhood and find what provoked the OCD.
I left the call feeling emotionally tired and confused. Since the decision came after talking with my parents, I kinda feel like it's more my parents' decision than my own. I like her very much but I complain about her a lot so it means that I myself didn't want to continue. I feel stronger now that I understand my OCD but I had a terrible week of compulsions and feel very vulnerable and feel unsafe without someone to talk to about it. We do have a session scheduled in 2 weeks just in case but I'm scared she's going to continue insiting over and over again.
I'm not sure what to do now. I feel also very stressed as I have Health OCD and booked an appointment to do some check up (which is one of my compulsion) next week. I'm hesitating a lot to go or not and wish I could get support. But I'm questionning everything now. Is she even a good therapist when it comes to OCD ? Should I listen to her and not go ? What if I don't go and later find out I DID have an health issue ?
I'm very conflicted so any words of wisdom would be appreciated.
TDLR: Started to see a therapist 3 months ago without doing any research. I made some progress in my understanding of OCD but my symptoms got worse so I considered seeing someone else due to various issues. I was pushed by my parents to end it now all together, and now that it's done, I feel very vulnerable as my therapist insisted it was a bad idea.
|
OCD
|
For as long as I can remember, I have always naturally stayed up all night and slept during the day when life allowed (aka when not in school/having a day-time job). Even when I \*really\* try to sleep at night and be awake during the day, I just can't stay awake when its light out for very long, but have no problem staying awake all night. I am so happy being awake at night in my apartment all by myself, just keeping myself busy with whatever. I wonder if it is to do with being drained by the energy and business of other people during the day. All the cars driving by, people talking outside my windows, lawnmowers blaring, etc etc. I guess I just like to be awake when reminders that other humans exist are at a minimum, lol.
|
aspergers
|
Hello my fellow humans,
in the last 3 months I was in therapy and tried to work on myself and to connect to other people but I failed. I am not sure if it is due to trauma or being neurodivergent but I can not relate to others emotionally. I feel empathy and compassion for people who suffer. I really like it to see if people are getting better. But on the other hand I do not feel any connection. I have learned a lot about myself in that time and the biggest part was that people can not relate to me too. I do not feel touched when people show empathy or compassion for me. Most of the time it feels more like they pity me. I do not get the feeling that people really like me nor can I see or feel it. Relationships just hurt.
Can anyone relate?
I plan on isolating myself and try to build up healthy routines.
Does anyone have ideas how to deal with the need for companionship or physical touch? I feel very bad because I got some of it and I felt quite alive but I had to accept that I lack the social skills to be attractive for others as a friend or a romantic partner. So how to get rid of that need?
I have not the energy anymore to try to fit in and get friends or be part of a group or what ever. Masking eats my energy and I am constantly stressed around NTs. They see my as a misfit and treat me like that.
|
aspergers
|
I know maybe that post can be deleted, but please no. I just want to find people from my country to talk about everything. Im alone since 3 years and i really need contact with someone, mostly in my age. Thank You
|
aspergers
|
I’m not officially diagnosed, but I’m suspicious of having OCD. It started very suddenly. Suddenly I became very aware of my nostrils. Particularly when I’m cleaning, I feel as if droplets of the cleaner is getting in my nostrils. I’m not sure if it is really entering my nostrils, or if I’m imagining it. This causes me great distress all the same because I’m scared of being poisoned. I then proceed to gargle with water (as run off from the nose will enter the throat) and I also blow my nose. It’s starting to affect my everyday life and cause me to worry unnecessarily....
|
OCD
|
Anyone else have this? There’s very little research done about it, and I think it could be because there is a lot of shame around it so people rarely report symptoms. It’s extremely embarrassing and uncontrollable. Basically if I feel severe social anxiety I won’t be able to look away from others’ private parts/chests/visual “imperfections” that people have (i.e. facial deformities, skin issues on the face like pimples). My OTO is always triggered by social anxiety.
I also have peripheral staring OCD. I don’t know how to define it except to give an example of what it does to me:
I’m unable to sit next to someone in movie theaters. I think it has to do with sitting so close to someone in the dark and having to focus straight ahead. For some reason it makes me so anxious and I just use my peripheral vision to look at them without being obvious. I have zero control, and the more I try not to, the more it happens. I end up not seeing any of the movie and walk out with a headache from the strain of using my peripheral vision for a long time. It doesn’t happen with my best friend that I feel 100% comfortable with though. I’ve had to miss out on plans to see movies because of this. It’s not worth the headaches and anxiety.
Also shoutout to anyone with dermatillomania. It’s sucks to look like you have a meth/crack problem when it’s just OCD destroying your skin.
[Some info about Staring OCD](https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-compulsive-staring)
|
OCD
|
Hey im 23M , had terrible history with covid , Caught it in December had very mild symptons nothing big , my father caught it in Feb and couldnt make it. now big part of my OCD is towards my health , had an appointment to go and take my shoot in May but i just didnt go because im afraid of it, now i have another appointment today and im just scared im not scared of the vaccine. i know if i take it nothing big will happen but i dont know why i am scared i encourage people to get the vaccine but when it comes to me i just cant do it should i go ? should i wait for a better vaccine to come ? vaccines available in my country are sinopharm and sinovac and sputnikV they are not that good compared to other vaccines. i just dont know why am i afraid of it and i want to take it at the same time
|
OCD
|
I have ADHD and I highly suspect I have OCD but I haven't been diagnosed yet.
I hear a lot about intrusive thoughts and specific obsessions but for me that often isn't my experience? Because of my ADHD all my thoughts come at me at breakneck speed and there's so many of them - it's hard to process them or identify specific obsessions sometimes and as a result I tend to doubt whether I do have OCD or not. Instead, often I just experience a general heightened level of anxiety and I have certain physical compulsions like cracking my knuckles and blinking hard three times (3 and 5 are my "good numbers").
However, my more ritualistic compulsions are usually preceded by much more identifiable specific obsessions, for example I run the tap for five seconds before filling my glass up and I have to turn the tap off after five seconds, as a response to the obsession that the water will taste bad and/or make me sick.
Anyway, just wanted to share my experience and see if anyone experiences something similar.
|
OCD
|
Hi I’m 22(F) and I suffer from severe OCD. I have multiple themes. Today I gave change to a homeless man sitting on the sidewalk. I pulled a handful of coins out of my wallet and gave them to him.
Now I’m freaking out that what if I accidentally gave him something crucial from my belongings? All my cards are still in my wallet and I’m pretty sure I only have one SIM card sitting in my wallet sitting in another pocket.
But I keep getting this fear that I wrote an intrusive thought or a false memory or even real event onto a piece of paper and accidentally gave it to him with the coins. I don’t remember writing anything down.
What if he reports me? Or what if I gave him something which he could blackmail me about for more money??
|
OCD
|
I think I broke the disease , i have been at an all time low for a long time and things just keep getting worse, like not a single good morning. But I don't feel sad anymore , I think I have maxxed out on depression. I have gone through so much fucking shit that it doesn't effect me anymore. I am not at all happy but I'm not sad and sore.
|
depression
|
Due to shortage of therapists (3 months to see one) I urgently seeking to get even online assessment in order for my doctor will prescribe something for me to start with.
I would really appreciate if you could also recommend non- dependent medication.
Unfortunately I found out in my mid 40s that I can finally pin point at the reason of 99% of my problems in life.
|
ADHD
|
Hi guys I’m 18 and I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD since I was a like 7 years old been on multiple meds currently on elvanse 50mg, does any else find that they just don’t care about anything that dosent impact or involve me? like when I get asked what I want to eat I stutter and struggle to answer because I don’t think about those kinda things, this goes for events like birthdays and Christmas.
Or am I just narsasistic?
Idk if I spelt that right.
|
ADHD
|
I am in so much pain and agony. There are literally triggers all around me. The only times I am not triggered or being pounded by intrusive thoughts is when I am asleep. I feel like I just want to close my eyes and go to sleep for a long time. I can’t do this anymore I need help I am in so much misery.
|
OCD
|
Hi everyone, sorry about my ramble in advance. Feel free to skip it: it's long, and I have no idea what advice I'd give to myself, as it's nearly impossible to do so imo.
I'm from a post-communist central/eastern european country. My whole life I wanted to be a scientist and I was born in a VERY privileged family, even by Western European standards. (Loving parents and grandparents, everyone university educated since the early 19th century, inherited some property, no real life-threatening financial or health risks, etc). I was working in pharmaceutical research since I was 14, and was branded as """gifted""", which is ofc not true. I am in fact of extremely average intellectual capabilities, I was always just interested, probably also a bit on the spectrum.
So after getting into a global top 50 uni in the UK, I moved there and thought I made a good decision. I never really wanted to move abroad that much, it was my parents encouraging me to follow my older sister's route, which seemed like a success story. I didn't make anywhere near as many friends as she did (she has a huge friendship circle and professional network, I have like 3 real friends max and practically no professional network). My father died of a brain tumour while I was in my first year, and I was just so depressed for the rest of my time, I didn't go out, I didn't socialise, I didn't even do anything besides smoking weed all day at home and losing extreme amounts of weight from not eating.
By the time I was in final year (last year) I started to feel better, but university was nearly over, and COVID wasn't, so I had no opportunity to make up for the years wasted with grief. I got into a global top 10 uni for my masters the following year (this year).
Now here is my problem: I left my original country, and sort of lost most of my friends there during the years. I am now here, and have a few friends. But I just simply don't feel like I'm home anywhere. I feel like I have no roots, and don't belong to either the UK or my original country. I'm happy that I can finally do a very niche area of medical research I always wanted, which would have been impossible in my original country. However, I feel really lonely and cold in this big and strange universe, belonging nowhere. Since my father died I have constant existential dread about the meaninglessness and finitude of existence, and while people always say "you have to find your own meaning", I feel like that's something we make up to comfort ourselves, because ultimately, there is no meaning, or purpose or anything besides the total absurdity of everything that exists. I tried going to therapy, but the conclusion was always the same: "find your own meaning blah blah blah, BS, BS BS..." I always felt like I'm asking questions no therapists could answer, and it was even making them visibly uncomfortable.
So overall, living in the UK depresses me deeply: it makes me feel cold, unwelcome, and strange and lonely. I feel like I don't ever want a 9-5 job... seriously, would rather hang myself on the first lamp-post than go to an office and slave away my whole life just to be able to rent some shithole and buy a loaf of bread. There is insane amounts of competition in academic research, it is practically impossible to get a permanent position. I also feel that my research area is my hobby: even if I managed to get a permanent academic position, once I would start working in the field and it would become "compulsory" , it would cease being a hobby and I'd start hating it. I simply despise authority, I despise being told what to do, and I despise having to spend most of my time that is being awake with working. The only way I could imagine working any job, is to do it every other day or so... oh what a vain dream that is. I know this is life, and I know that I need to "man up", but I just can't accept it. Unfortunately despite my privileged situation, I don't have anywhere near enough money to not work and not give a fuck and just enjoy life.
I don't know what to do. I don't like the UK: I was always seasonally affective, and this climate just amplifies it by a million. I don't belong here, and I don't feel good here. I also don't belong to my original country anymore: every time I come here, I feel like a stranger on a holiday, and I also lost my extensive friendship group here. If I move somewhere else, I'll find the same problem: no roots, no friends or relatives, no sense of belonging and starting everything from ground zero again, which already took a big toll on me once.
I also don't know what do do career wise: academia is nearly impossible, and would hate it once it became a necessity to go in every day. If I moved to my OG country, I'd be unemployable: biologists are probably the least employable STEM people over there. If I had to do an office job, I'd either kill myself or waste away. I don't have enough capital to start my own business despite having a few relevant ideas in my field. I want to sit on a beach/ski in the alps all year while smoking joints and having sex: genuinely nothing else makes me happy. This is of course impossible.
I also don't wanna kill myself: I'm way too much of a coward for that, and I couldn't do it to my widowed mother and my sister. I don't fucking know what to do.
If you read it until here, big up: I certainly wouldn't have.
|
depression
|
when i'm doing badly, i can usually keep my friends talking to me out of pity and worry but eventually they all hit a wall where they can't listen to me vent anymore or be available 24/7, which is what i need. when i'm not getting attention it's like i don't exist, and i knowingly emotionally manipulate people for it, then push them away when my perception of them flips (usually at some minor grievance or imperfection). i don't know why i act like this and i don't know how to stop. when i'm feeling a little better, like i was for the first half of the day, i always end up really hurting people-- it's like my natural state is to be cruel, i never intend it but i just can't read social cues to know what's okay and what's not. nobody can possibly provide the amount of tolerance and compassion i require, especially since i have a really small circle and have been unsuccessful meeting more people at college, so once i cycle through my usual people to text/call i just end up spiraling. i'm seeing a psychiatrist in 2 weeks and i'm worried if i get better nobody will care about me anymore.
all i do all day is study because i don't have any hobbies or the motivation to pick up new or old ones (i just study, waste time online, go on walks), and still my grades are going to be mediocre to failing. i almost want to fail so i'll lose my financial aid and have to drop out-- at least if i move back home my parents will force me to get help and make my life better. i wanted to take time off but i got talked out of it. i love (or used to love) my field of study and i just wish i could produce good work about it, but i'm taking hours and hours to produce the most mediocre shit. i've never known exactly what i want to do and it's getting harder and harder to imagine a future.
the only things that make me happy are drinking--which i stopped doing, because i know that's a risky road, and being sober (but not "justified" in it because i never had a problem) has just made me more distant from my friends who don't get it--and going to concerts (both of these are followed by crashes). i'm going to one tomorrow, even though i should be studying, so that's hopeful. i don't really have any more immediate coping strategies, like how to feel good enough this week to write my papers and how to stop myself from crying in class, so i would appreciate if anyone could help with that.
|
depression
|
Hi all, after seeing a meme on /r/aspiememes about how we don’t seem to last long in jobs that require social interaction and generally get boring after a while, I thought I’d ask what jobs you have been in for a lengthy period of time?
I work in IT/Networking support and hate the customer interaction, I was thinking of moving into programming but maybe there is a career I haven’t thought of that’s reasonably paid and wouldn’t cause me to burn out?
|
aspergers
|
I'm a 15 y/o and I got diagnosed with anxiety, depression and agoraphobia 1 month ago.
Like the title says everyday becomes harder and harder...the day seems infinite now that I don't go to school anymore given my situation...I don't have anything that gives my joy aside from drawing and coding...I can't go out from my house because I get anxious for absolutely no reason and after...like...10 minutes I just want to get back in bed and cry. every time I get a message I get anxious too and I don't know why... it's just a pain and since this is going on for quite a while I'm tired of all of this...my life is an infernal loop and I'm tired of it.
|
depression
|
i just took my first pill of prozac. i’ve heard it’s helped people with their ocd, so i’m hopeful. i just want these intrusive thoughts to go away
|
OCD
|
Anyone else have this fear? It really cripples me sometimes and I’m worried thinking about it will make me mentally ill.
|
OCD
|
The examiner was like a robot, so emotionless. i had no idea what he was thinking so I freaked out.
I'm used to having conversations with a bit of back and forth.
|
aspergers
|
I just wanna stay straight thats all but something inside me ain't letting me. I can't even tell anymore if its fear or arousel.
|
OCD
|
You still anxiety but do not remember the exact thought that causes ypu the anxiety.
You think so much that you confuse and forget the trigger.
Can you relate?
|
OCD
|
The human stain
As I sit here, with the NW rain drumming against the siding, thumbing through a life that I left because it was worth leaving, dusting off old report cards, I accepted that the years of problems, the reports that stacked the odds against me, the friends that kind of sort of want to hang out, the brother that won’t even see me from a distance after three years (I miss my niece), and the report that spelled out adhd inattentive type when I was 17 that got tossed aside so I could struggle in college, are all a weight that drove me away for twelve years. They are also why I’m awkwardly sitting in my friends living room questioning my maladjusted Americanness and the people in my life that I latched onto because I was only just good enough at the best of time.
The truth is that I’m a human stain, and I’ve always been that smear that people admire and try to forget about because nothing they throw at it will make it slowly disappear. As a stain, I’m both ever present and something that goes unnoticed until I become a minor irritation that needs to be read about and relegated to people barking orders at my ineptitude, as was the case in high school and in my adulthood.
The truth is that I’m not a stupid stain. In fact I’m a pernicious one that has been heralded as a genius by people that count, but not by the people that I need to prove my worth to. The fact is that my status, and my self worth, don’t have anything to do with the, as one psychologist put it, average intelligence that I have leveraged to become successful in industries that turn even the most sedate into cannibals. It has everything to do with a family that I want to love me, but sees me as a stain in the grand scheme of things, people that like me for not making waves until the boundary meter ogles well into the red, and my learned passiveness that helped me, the stain, from being tossed into the rubbish bin along with the rest of the anxious upper middle class detritus.
As a stain, and a oft discarded one, I’m caught betwixt leaving again to start anew and facing the impossible gravity of people that I want to value me but never will. From the sister that sold everything of value in my storage to the uncle that bought a huge house and wouldn’t bother to help me out. I will never ever, ever be a person that has the love and support of family. I, as a stain, spent so long blaming my existence because I knew I would, as I did, lose everything if I didn’t, and now I need to learn to be ok with that.
Now, this stain, needs to find an apartment in a week, move to the mountains and start anew again because being here, on the safe island of my friends oversized living room with the rain drumming against the siding, will only last so long.
For those of you that are cast aside, left out with the trash, and spend years trying to cope like me, perhaps we’re at fault, but they’re also at fault, so it’s ok to find a place within yourself to love your flaws. Trust me: I spent years reading all of the books, running away as fast as I could, and taking to every person I could about my stain status. Eventually, for as much as it hurts, and trust me, I’m not that cool right now (will be though), the only way to go beyond the label is to find people that appreciate you and only you without asking you to be something you aren’t. So yeah, I’m a stain, and so are you, but there’s nothing we can do about what we are and that’s ok.
|
ADHD
|
I was emotionally abused by a narcissistic mother for years. When the abuse finally stopped, I didn't remember anything. All the memories about the abuse were hidden. For this period of time, I was confused, angry, depressed, and I was isolating myself from everybody. I didn't want to see my mother's face, but I didn't know why. About a month or 2 later, the memories started coming back. Did anyone else forget about a trauma and then remember later on?? I just find it to be very confusing.
|
ptsd
|
*This post is just me sharing how I started suspecting, and now had set an appointment to a professional. \*\*Relatively long post\*\* (assuming I'm not speed reading)*
It was not more than a week ago that I started suspecting that I might be in the spectrum. It all started with me teasing my brother for being slow to react when I call his attention. This lead me to telling him that I notice almost everything in the house even when I'm in an online class -- where people are, conversations, sound, smell, and movements. My little brother did not understand and thought that I am ridiculous. With his response, I started to think, "Is this normal?"
After that conversation, a video from the YouTube channel "Aspergers from the Inside" was recommended to me - "25 Questions to Ask Yourself". I watched it, and I don't really know to describe it well. It's just surreal, and I felt like things slowly started making sense! After that, I tried researching more by watching more of his videos; then TED Talks, medical videos, aspie interviews, and I'm even reading some journal articles.
In the midst of all of this, I am still careful since I might be subconsciously forming biases on what I only want to hear. This constant disproving myself and learning more is a bit unreliable since I'm alone, I think. That is why I really want to deal with this right away. I really do not have anyone to get validation from. I do have a few friends that I am trusting with this information, but I'm not really expecting them to give me validation since there is high probability that they are NT (one of them is one of my best friends, and whom I based majority l of my responses from). These are some reasons why I am consulting a professional right away.
I have notes in my phone where all the things that matches and matched with what I think/suspect/know as autistic behaviours are listed - which is for now 9 pages long. Of course, I will not list them here. I just wish that those years that I was insensitive, "over-rational", incapable of empathy, socially awkward, extremely objective, etc. will have an explanation.
|
aspergers
|
Hey.. first of all i apologize for my horrible english.. im not a native english speaker, anyways, last week i broke up with my girlfriend, she was the first person i got into a relationship with. I loved her so bad you have no idea. After we broke up i started feeling relieved but in the last few days i started crying uncontrolablly and i started becoming agressive towards my family and my friends.. today i sat at my class and i started to think about her for some reason.. suddenly my head started to hurt and i felt like ive been kicked in the stomach, i started breathing heavily and became agressive towards my teacher when she tried to calm me down.. (i apologized to her btw) anyways, when i got back home i was so exhausted and i had a horrible headace.. i took a sleeping pill but when i tried to go to sleep i started thinking about my ex once again.. i lit a ciggarette then started crying.. after i finished the ciggarette i started hitting my head aganist the wall in hope that i will go to sleep that way. So, do you think i should go to my psychiatrist and get diagnosed for ptsd?
Note: Ive been diagnosed 2 years ago with OCD And IED.
Thanks in advance
|
ptsd
|
So, I'm someone that has experienced PTSD, and I'm working on a research project. I know of my experiences with PTSD, but they are not representative of everyone's experiences, since, well, mental health is different for everyone.
I was wondering if anyone would be willing to share how PTSD affects/affected them on the daily. I'm looking to show a more 3D, more human experience, than just discussing the symptoms listed in wikipedia.
Thank you for your help in advance! I know this is a lot to ask.
|
ptsd
|
What symptoms led to the diagnosis and how did you mask your symptoms?
|
aspergers
|
I am so annoyed right now. Usually interacting on the internet is easier for me because I can take my time and phrase things how I want. And just ignore shit if I don't feel up to answering. But like the title says, a bunch of people couldn't manage to just read the literal words I was posting and kept implying or saying things I never actually said. How hard is it to just look and go oh that's it right there. When I say "I feel like this" I mean just me not me and someone else. Stuff like that. Like if I meant something else I would have said that???? Ugh.
|
aspergers
|
I have to have a root canal tomorrow and my anxiety about it is so severe that I feel like I may have an anxiety attack today at work. I already have regular anxiety issues. The entire experience is just terrifying to me. The dental needle, the drill, the idea of someones hands being in my mouth. I’m going to be under sedation and I’m STILL scared as hell.
|
aspergers
|
This will be long but please hear me out I'm screwed here.
I love to participate in a sport called bjj, which if you're not familiar is a grappling sport/martial art, which therefore makes you vulnerable to getting staph infections and ringworm.
I have a pathological fear of things like lice, fungus or skin infections and am diagnosed as suffering from OCD.
After I train I have to spend ages applying miconazole and clotrimazole on any mark on my skin, I will sit in my bathroom panicking seeing more and more marks and even trying to guess and intercept skin infections before they come.
Anyway. Long story short I am typing to you after 2 weeks of hell - I actually got ringworm from BJJ, probably my worst fear bar getting lice off a tramp or child.
For the whole time I have spent hundreds of pounds on anti-fungal products. My body constantly itches literally all over because my brain is playing tricks on itself.
The lads started to worry about me because I wasn't training and suspected something was wrong. (They do not know about my pathological obsession with getting ringworm/staph). I admitted to someone that I might have ringworm and it felt like I was telling them I was a rapist, I was in tears messaging him because its hard to admit the truth. I also told my mom who knows I have OCD.
The word has gotten around to people at my BJJ gym and now I feel utterly hopeless. They don't care and one lad even said they'd train with me but they don't understand that I JUST CAN'T.
I saw a friend in a group setting and he laughed about me having ringworm in front of a group of people and i just wilted. It ruined my night nearly, until my weed and booze habit sorted my anxiety out haha. But seriously it felt like he was calling me a paedophile infront of everyone. I feel horrible and i cant describe it.
Why do I feel terrible and guilty for getting a rash? Why do I feel itchy all over when I know its just in my head I am scratching constantly?
Why can't I stop checking my body (my after training ritual is now constant)? Why cant i stop blowing away my savings on products like cream which I use up in a single day?
Please help me out if you can guys with advice. Maybe you are scared of ringworm too? I am relatively new to OCD and was diagnosed in recent months after essentially being in denial about it for some years. I will probably post here quite a bit for a few weeks to learn more.
|
OCD
|
Obviously these go hand in hand ... today as I was about to fold my towels in the most perfect pile of bleached white laundry you have ever seen, I physically made my brain stop folding the towels perfectly. I folded them quickly and uneven. I nonchalantly placed them in the drawer as opposed to perfectly aligning them.
I was so proud! I ran to tell my husband. He laughed and said, “just fold them the way you want them if it’s that big of a deal”.
Now I’m panicking. Full on anxiety attack. What’s happening? This is the first time I’ve fought against a ritual. Why am I panicking?
|
OCD
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/vexillology/comments/r8hit5/i_made_a_few_new_variants_of_the_autism_pride/
|
aspergers
|
Hi, all.
My mental health has been pretty bad lately. I used to see a therapist, but she yelled at me and talked down to me a lot for not eating or bathing properly (due to depression), so I stopped going. My health is still pretty bad.
I'm not someone who is "stuck" a lot. For example, I used to not like things that I liked in case someone else disliked it. And I worried about instant rejection a lot. I do that less post-therapy. A problem that's stuck though (and hasn't went away) is "being cancelled." I don't ever want to be famous or rich (I'm too tired of life for that). What I worry about is mostly that...
I mean, I am not a bad person, but I overthink. I am actually very compassionate. I will spend time thinking about and painting the experiences of people from every single walk of life. I also explore a lot of concepts. Basically, I throw a lot of information out onto the internet - and I sometimes forget a lot of what I say. I am still moderately safe with privacy though.
I guess that what I am worrying about is that (because I go through so many shifts in ways of thinking) I must have said/thought SOMETHING insensitive at some point. And I worry about being cancelled. Like... Someone just doxxing me and being like, "Fuck this guy" (Not because I'm rich/famous or anything but just because).
And I don't think that I would be nervous. Like, "Oh, no, what would people think of me?" Because obviously I'm not a bad person. I don't think that I'd really care about the thing itself.
But, I guess that what I'm saying is... I'm just waiting for the moment when the whole world hates me, so I can give up and say, "Oh, there it is. Everyone hates me now."
And it's stopping me from doing or saying anything. Stopping me from drawing. Stopping me from living. I spend my whole life waiting for this moment when everyone hates me for some arbitrary reason. I think a lot about like... The whole world knowing my face and name and all of the worst mistakes that I've made. It's just tiring. I want to stop thinking about this.
I talk to my friends sometimes, but it never helps. I get more and more depressed. I want to sometimes die.
Edit: I also worry about all of the time that I've wasted not painting. And how I only have so many years left to settle down and get married (I'm 18). I worry that I'm wasting my youth. I worry that there's not any point to painting or living at all.
What do I do?
|
OCD
|
Hear me out. Besides the sensory and psychomotor issues in autism -- because these issues are of course biological -- what is the main issue of autistic people? Integration into society. For most ASD lvl 1 people and good portion of ASD lvl 2 people this is the near-total source of their misery and functioning issues. Whether they can build a support network, are able to hold a job, get education, better themselves etc. are all fundamentally issues of integrating into the hegemonic culture they live in. So an autistic that isn't integrating into society shoild be considered unintegrated.
This is a better dichotomy because it at once validates the issues ASD lvl 1/ less severe ASD lvl 2 people face in life and accounts for the social issues inherent to the more severe cases of autism. An aspie that is isolated, depressed, and unable to reach a position of well-being due to social issues is in essentially the same social position as an autistic person with major support needs. They would face similar struggles of loneliness, helplessness, hopelessness and ostracization, not to mention more material issues like occupational dysfunction, suicide, and homelessness. However an aspie that has support, employment, housing, and feels able to effect change in their life would face very different issues even tho they have the same level of severity as the aspie we spoke about hence. The panoply of issues and the necessary therapy to aid the lattwr autistic person would vary wildly. You wouldn't give them occupational therapt for example or focus as much on learning to interpret social cues, but more likely teach coping and self-actualization strategies for the obvious toil integration takes on any autistic person.
If diagnostically we already have a measure of severity (lvl 1 - 3) based on how much support an autistic perso needs, I don't think the terms high functioning vs. Low functioning have any clinical utility. Its redundant. Social integration vs. unintegration is an analysis of the autistic's social environment, taking into account the support necessary to reach and maintain integration into society. Matters of isolation and ostracization are hugely important in fighting the suicide, homelessness, and unemployment epidemics we face. Finally, the popular conception of "function" terminology is as an essentializing, usually immovable, characteristic which tends to result in autistics falling into "no help for you" or "no autonomy for you" categories that don't benefit anybody save for the people who would ignore our humanity. It's also subject to remediation and change in a huge portion of the autistic community. There are countless tales of previously diagnosed asd lvl 2 and 3 people finding more social integration than a lot of less severe autistic cases. Or even dropping into a lower category of severity, especially if they have early intervention.
I'm studying to be a psychologist and I've been thinking about solutions to these issues a lot. I'm just hoping for some feedback on my analysis from other autistic people. Thanks!
|
aspergers
|
I’ve had ocd since I was like 3 and I was curious if anyone has struggled with pocd or and other sexually intrusive thoughts ocd related I just can’t tell who I am anymore I’m pretty sure it’s pocd but can’t tell and shit is just freaking me out I’m on the fence if I have pocd or I’m scum I usually use substances to reduce all of this stuff including my depression and anxiety some help would be rlly appreciated. I experience many intrusive thoughts but this one has been affecting me a lot
https://peaceofmind.com/education/types-of-ocd/intrusive-thoughts/
Link on intrusive thoughts including pocd
|
OCD
|
Hi I’m a m18, and I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder with a lot of ocd traits, I got my first diagnosis right before I started therapy which was nearly a year ago, my situation used to be very bad, I’d get intrusive thoughts all the time but I have made huge improvements in therapy for quite the while however I absolutely plummeted during the last month, and my anxiety and my ocd has become much more prominent than ever before.
Let me explain what goes through my head, I keep getting endless cycles of intrusive thoughts where I keep thinking that certain illnesses and terminal diseases will occur to people that I love and care about. I keep thinking that because I thought of these thoughts then it is going to happen unless I keep telling myself that “nothing is going to happen” after every bad intrusive thought I get. It’s like a cycle
When I do an action and I get and intrusive thought, I keep repeating that same action until I say nothing is happen while doing it. It has gotten really bad to the point that I keep seeing myself repeating tasks like washing my hands, open and closing doors, turning my pc and phone off and on again, climbing up and down the stairs multiple times. It’s affected my daily life that I know avoid taking showers, doing hw, playing games as I’m sick of repeating my actions during those times.
Ive started to believe that my anxiety disorder has started to turn more into OCD than ever before and Therapy isn’t helping right now whatsoever, my therapist doesn’t really seem to understand what I’m feeling and pov, however my therapist has recommended meds for me, so I was wondering if that might be a good shot at trying, I’m just feeling hopeless right now and was wondering if you guys have any advice.
|
OCD
|
My high anxiety for 6 months straitght makes me to forget all my past. now i literlly don't know what is false memories and what is real memories. I don't know what to do
|
OCD
|
Hi all - I’ve been struggling very badly with intrusive thoughts in the last couple months. I thankfully do not have compulsions but it’s made my world very small as the thoughts relate to my family, and had to go to the ED last week bcos the anxiety was unbearable.
I’m looking for a psychologist that can provide me with ERP therapy in Australia. I’m based in Melbourne and OCD specialists feel so limited and are all booked out.
Any recommendations? I’m happy to see a psychologist located anywhere in Australia as I can do online/Telehealth sessions.
Thank you!
|
OCD
|
How many medications did you cycle through before you found "the one"? I'm currently on my second medication, but it doesn't feel like it's working the way it should. I definitely haven't felt the "aha" moment that so many people have described (like putting glasses on and being able to see for the first time). The first one (Cotempla) made me feel calm and less fidgety, but I felt ridiculously foggy. I just started Adhansia XR and noticed a small rush of anxiety (which I already struggle with). I get my hopes up every time, but they never seem to work out. I just want to find my light at the end of the tunnel.
Any and all input is appreciated! Thanks in advance!
|
ADHD
|
I would like some advice. I find I do now, and always have, hold myself to impossible standards. And when I don’t meet them, the obsessive, looping, thoughts begin. Today I’m obsessing over not using a cash back app before making a large purchase on Black Friday. Yeah, I can hear myself from the outside and I feel ridiculous. Logically, I know I did a great job, researched my purchase, saved a significant amount, and simply didn’t think about using the cash back app until just after my purchase and that’s not really a big deal.
My OCD however, is just like: “can you cancel the order and repurchase?” “Why does it say you can’t cancel yet?” “Should I call customer service?” “I shouldn’t waste my time and theirs over $100 when it will be a complicated mess to reorder.” “What if I try to reorder and I lose the deal, that would be worse. I should just let it go.” “But…”
I had/am having trouble sleeping over this. I just want to tell myself to knock it off but I can’t seem to quite shake it.
Any advice on how to approach things like this is appreciated.
|
OCD
|
I have a date with a gorgeous asperger woman tomorrow and I've read a bit about it, what to do and what not to do. She already planned most things ahead, like activities and location.
What's for you aspergers the things that are usual during dating, but usually uncomfortoble for you?
I've heard something about being careful with body contact. Some are said to be unaware of subtext, so flirting should be very direct and obvious. Are there other maior points I missed?
|
aspergers
|
I’ve been depressed for 4 years but I feel like it’s gotten worse. I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. I lost both my grandparents this year. My mom has cancer and is going through chemo. None of my siblings are in happy or healthy relationships. I’m taking care of my mom and my two sisters while working and going to school full time. I feel as though nothing is getting better. The days where I wish I can go to sleep and not wake up are coming more often. I know I don’t want to die but I’m tired. I’m so mentally and physically exhausted that I’m losing weight when I can’t afford to lose any. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to last much longer. I feel so alone. I’m so tired.
|
depression
|
I get what my loved ones are repeatedly referring to as “thousand-yard-stare” moments; I have flashbacks to my time in the adult industry. Disturbing times. Times that were drenched in anxiety, sexual and substance abuse, and depression. Things I’ve seen I can’t unsee. I feel like it’s starting to overrun my life. The flashbacks are frequent. It’s hard to drag myself out of them, when I can’t it’s like I get transported to that place. I’m worried that it’ll happen when I’m driving or something. Does anybody else have flashbacks that are strong like this? How do you pull yourself out? (I’m already in therapy and seeing a psychiatrist).
|
ptsd
|
Does anyone else feel as if the very seems of their cognition is held together with staples and glue. The entire work to meld and blend with everyone around you was all for nothing as you simply cannot relate to anyone. That truly you are alone in this endeavor and that really the society surrounding you will forever be against you until its absolute destruction. I was once low functioning but was able to get my socialization and study on but there is something just missing for me. I simply just cannot connect to a single person I meet.
|
aspergers
|
Like the title says, I just finished my fall term with a 4.0 sessional gpa. I would have never imagined this happening in a million years. For context, I finished my first year with a 2.6 gpa and got diagnosed with adhd this past summer. I started medication over the summer and my university went back in person this year which made things so much better. It wasn’t easy but life is so much better now with the right accommodations and medications. I can understand what I’m learning in class, I have the motivation to study for exams, and I can focus during lectures. I can’t say it’s easy now, I still have to work twice as hard as other students to do but for the first time in a long time I have goals and aspirations for my future and my career.
To any other university/college students struggling out there undiagnosed, it does get easier and you aren’t alone. If anyone wants to talk feel free to message me.
Anyways I just wanted to share this success with you folks here!
|
ADHD
|
I decided to go outside and go do things since a lot of people (including my mom) told me that going outside would make me feel better. But in the end I just feel even worse. I went to watch a movie, just browsed some stores, I even went and did a bit of mini golf. But in the end I just felt lonely and not any better than when I started. Maybe this entire depressive state I have is from loneliness. At least this trip allowed to narrow it down.
|
depression
|
Hi, I finally decided to buy Loop earplugs. I have a hard time reducing background noises when talking to people. Sometimes loud places cause me to experience sensory overload. This problem is most prominent in shops, parties, restaurants, and at work. I hoped these earplugs could help me manage this.
I'm not sure which type of Loops I should get. They come in 3 types: Quiet, Experience, and Experience Pro. As I understand, **Quiet** ones are more similar to regular earplugs, at medium noise reduction, and can make your ear feel blocked (according to some reviewers).
**Experience** reduce background sounds while still allowing you to hear people talk and carry on a conversation with them. They offer low noise reduction and work similarly to the earplugs worn by musicians. These are mostly marketed towards people with ADHD or ASD, and noise sensitivities.
**Experience Pro** simply allow you to choose the level of noise reduction with add-ons, so you can go between medium and low noise reduction as required. However, one reviewer said the add-ons made no audible difference for them.
It also says: "Loop Experience Pro has an additional membrane that delivers equal noise reduction across low, mid and high frequencies yet keeps sound crystal clear. The perfect match for audiophiles and professional musicians." So, do they differ from Experience ones in ways other than being able to manipulate noise reduction?
I want to be able to change the level of noise reduction, so Experience Pro were the Loops I was initially set on buying. However, if the add-ons don't work, it might be more sensible to buy Quiet and Experience ones instead, and carry both with me. I'm also planning to get regular noise-canceling headphones, so maybe I wouldn't need to manipulate the Loop noise reduction anyway. I could just pop them on top of the Experience/Experience Pro Loops if I needed to. What do you think?
I guess my most burning question is: **Do the Experience Pro add-ons work? Do they really let you change the level of noise reduction from low to medium?**
I hope some of you could give me advice if you have any experience with Loops. Thanks!
|
ADHD
|
Out of curiosity, has anyone here been prescribed both Elvanse/Vyvanse and Concerta to take at the same time? And if so, what was the reasoning?
I'm in the UK and am seeing a psychiatrist here and we are in the middle of titration to find a mix of meds and dosages that work for me. I'm on Elvanse 50mg and am doing quite well on it with minimal side effects, however I still have symptoms (though much weaker than before). He originally added an instant-release Dexafetamine 5 MG to take in the afternoon when Elvanse wore off...and man did that not go down well with me. 5 days in a row I had major, MAJOR panic attacks where I literally thought I was going to die and was calling the ambulance constantly out of fear.
Obviously he quickly took me off that and I went back to normal. He consulted with his colleagues about my non-reaction to Elvanse (literally feel perfectly fine on it) and my anxiety attacks with the instant release. He has now added Concerta 18MG for me to try next week in combination with my Elvanse 50 MG. Both are extended release. He also mentioned I should probably look into seeing a counselor about the anxiety thing - a bit confused on that one as I only got panic attacks when on the instant-release?
I've researched it but haven't seen anyone else mention this type of combination. Has anyone else been given something like that? Thanks!
|
ADHD
|
Anyone else obsessed with trying to find the perfect way to do everything? for me it's like when I do simple tasks I compulsively figure out the best and most efficient way to do them and I don't feel right until I do. The whole time I'm doing it I'm thinking is there a better way to do this, am I wasting my time?
|
aspergers
|
“Scurvy”
It infects you
All because of some silly mishaps
It infects you
All because of things you should’ve done
It infects you
But, could you truly have stopped it?
It’s infecting you, but why?
Is it your fault for not eating the orange,
Or the orange’s fault for not existing?
It’s infecting you, but could you have eaten an orange that didn’t exist?
Either way
It’s infected you
And it’s terminal
|
ptsd
|
WORD POPS.
Does anyone else have a hard time with random words or images that will pop in your head? At random times to like doing laundry?
I already struggle with intrusive thoughts but
I’m also having a hard time with reading things and they look scrambled or before I read I’ll think it’s a different similar word? It’s SO strange. It started happening after a huge panic attack and ocd attack from side effects with Prozac.
I’m wondering it’s it’s me withdrawing bad side effect meds or it’s my anxiety/ocd playing tricks with me because I’ve been severely stressed since then.
PLEASE tell me someone else deals with this.
|
OCD
|
So I recently tried to get tested for ADHD with my healthcare provider which is Kaiser . For background information I am 27(F). I read up on symptoms of adhd in females and a lot of things that came up really rung true to me especially when i remember my childhood and things like my behavior and personality seemed like symptoms of adhd . I don’t want or self diagnose so I went to get tested and they gave me the TOVA test. After I took it thinking I did horrible, they set up an appointment with a psychiatrist. The only issue is, they never really brought up the test results until I asked at the end. They said I don’t have adhd and what they really wanted to focus was depression and anxiety and were pushing me to take anti depressants. I’m not sure how much more I have to push about adhd because I feel like TOVA is not accurate testing . What is the best way to get taken seriously with this and tested again? Should I be looking for outside my insurance provider and do you have recommendations for sites or doctors. I live in Southern California
|
ADHD
|
My daughter (6) is suspected to have ADHD combined type. I, her mother, have ADHD combined type, and her father has inattentive type. We’ve both been diagnosed and sporadically medicated.
Learning from the mistakes of our childhoods, we’ve tried to make a super supportive and encouraging environment for our children to help them thrive in the best version of themselves. However, rural public school in the Covid era has left us all disappointed and frustrated. We first noticed red flags when her teacher had negative consequences for classroom management and no focus on positive reinforcement, and our daughter was losing recess time daily. I spoke to the teacher about our concerns and offered recommendations.
Our daughter is highly intelligent with a strong memory. However, if she is not academically stimulated, her energetic personality results in “behavior issues.” She was advanced to first grade, and I was told she would have individualized learning plans to meet her academic standings. At home, she’s reading 3rd grade chapter books, but at school she has early reader books. I’ve brought my concerns to the teacher, and she’s expressed thoughts about medication and ignored all insight we’ve offered. When asked if she suggested medication for her comfort or for the best interest of our daughter, it was ignored. I reached out to the counselor and the vice principal. Basically, they want to have a meeting with myself and the teacher and suggested I have resources to help the teacher support our daughter. I want to be sound in my discussion but fair and reasonable. What supports do you wish you had in the academic environment as a child or what has worked for your child?
|
ADHD
|
After breaking up last year, me and my ex stayed in contact, and she blocked me for a while and was quite rude and stuff, and some of the stuff she said was questionable, but we made up at the start of this year, and since then, we have met lots. Today, she told me I was her "best friend", and she would cry when I went to uni. For the first time in my life, I feel valued. Also for the first time in my life, I feel like i have an actual connection to another being. My mum was the first to suspect she was on the spectrum. From a young age she's been pretty blunt, always speaking her mind, and not akin to social norms, she also has had almost exclusively male friends as opposed to female, like me (the other way round tho). We go on car drives and stuff, and we always talk and i found out she's interested in trains and buses and stuff, and that's when my suspicions were raised, and today she even told me that she thinks shes autistic. Is this what its like for NTs? tto like actually make connections with people and enjoy conversations? Everyone else i have spoken to, the conversation seems forced, unnatural, and there's jsut no energy in it. It dies before it even gets started. In a way, this means so much more to me than a romantic or sexual relationship, believe me i wouldn't turn that down if it was on the table again, but i've never had a friendship liek this before. I feel like there is finally someone who understands me, and i understand them, mutual understanding and recognition of each other. I have been dubious about joining autistic groups and stuff, but if this is what friendship actually feels like and not the shittiness i've had in the past, i'd join one in a heartbeat.
|
aspergers
|
Happy Friday my beloved friends! We finally made it to this glorious day and supported each other through this long week. May everyone have a a productive Friday and a relaxing weekend! Y’all are very loved and appreciated, please send me any prayer requests if you need anything! Be a blessing and encouragement to others, the world needs your smile and presence!
“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;”
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 KJV
Gospel of the grace of God: I Corinthians 15: 1-4 KJV/ Romans 3:25 KJV❤️
|
OCD
|
The more I think about it the more I have no personality of my own. It’s like I just shift from stolen persona to stolen persona. I just find a character in a show or a movie who I somehow relate to and all of a sudden my brain files them into the slot where my own personality traits should be.
And they’re not even similar characters, well some are, and some are drastically different. Ragnar, Tommy Shelby, Iron Man, Deadpool, Geralt, Batman, The Joker, Archer, BoJack Horseman. Those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head but I know there’s more.
Everything changes when my brain decides it’s time to swap roles. Huge, core, big picture stuff like my entire world view and outlook on humanity and myself, even my moral compass and small, minute details like what drink I prefer to drink or if I drink at all, or if I get a craving to smoke or not, what I want to wear, how I want my hair cut. It’s part of the reason I can’t ever see myself getting tattoos even though sometimes I really want them, I know one day I’ll wish they were gone. It’s part of the reason I hate my self-harm scars so much, they’re great when I’m in a Geralt mood but not so much for others. I tried once to get a bunch of facial piercings in an attempt to try and assert some type of what I could claim was my own personality and look into my own head but I ended up taking them all out before long because my mood shifted again.
I don’t even know anymore if it’s my mood that shifts and change how I want to see myself or if how I want to see myself changes and my mood shifts with it. I don’t know where the false personas start and where my own personality ends, I feel like I don’t even have one. And worse still, because they’re all so different, their ideas and beliefs about the actions I should take are wildly different, meaning any decision I make is judged as the wrong move by at least half the people in my head. They argue all the time and when a new one comes to the forefront, it looks at the decisions in my past and can’t rationalise or make any sense of them, in fact it usually pushes me to feel like I’ve betrayed myself with my past decisions or something, I don’t know, it’s hard to explain.
Does anyone else notice themselves doing this?
|
ptsd
|
My doctor has been trying to get me to give Adderall a try but when I look online about how it makes you feel it just says Adderall makes people with ADHD feel “normal” and moves on to discussing abuse of the meds, which is not helpful at all since I don’t know what “normal” feels like. I’m very reluctant to try new medications so since I’m considering this one I just wanted to hear from people who take meds for their ADHD, how do they make you feel vs when you’re not on them?
|
ADHD
|
I was diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed Adderall XR and then IR. I have tried taking IR at 5, 10, and 15mg, but at each dosage level I generally end up sleepy/tired and sometimes end up taking a nap 1 hour after taking the medication. I have not felt an increased ability to focus or any of the general effects people usually describe being associated with the drug.
I have read anecdotally that this could be the drug acting as intended for people with ADHD, calming them down. However, my nurse practitioner says this paradoxical effect is usually only in children.
Has anyone else experienced something similar? Does anyone have studies or authoritative/science-backed sources with more information about this effect on adults?
Which drugs have worked for you instead for focus?
|
ADHD
|
Hello folks! I've officially entered the most stressful moment of the year at my job and I have 3 very important reports due on Wednesday of which I couldn't even start until today. I just got out of an almost 3 hour meeting, I had an apple and jello for breakfast, so I'm hungry, but I have a lot of other stuff to do on top of preparing those reports. So my plan right now is to go to the bathroom, fill my water bottle, ask my boyfriend to give me food and then to hyperfocus all afternoon on this shit.
But I'm missing only one thing, a playlist to accompany this stress-induced manic hyperfocus episode. What's your favorite for times such as these?
|
ADHD
|
tw: trauma
disconnect question - does anyone know what it’s like to lack a connection to anything that ISNT real? yes, i’ve has a traumatic life. but a lot of people i know who have had a traumatic life dive into fantasy to escape the bad. and i’m the opposite.. like.. it’s hard for me to invest any emotion in something that isn’t real. ive been this way since i was young. i remember telling my youth activities center “i can’t watch this movie because all of its fake” - i was 7. also now i can’t get into movies or anything that isn’t “real” because i feel way to self aware to be that “naive?” even when i listen to people talk it’s like i only resonate with parts that i can relate to or have been through cause that’s something i’ve dealt with personally, which again would be reality.
|
ptsd
|
Like many of us, since being told by my doctor that I fit the bill for adhd a lot of my behaviours have started to make sense to me.
I’ve come to realise that the reason I always want to be snacking/grazing even when I’m not bored is because it’s a form of stimulation for me. Even when I’m adequately stimulated by whatever I’m doing I often want to be chewing. Obviously it’s not super healthy for me to be eating all the time so I’m looking for advice on other ways to fill that gap.
Logical solution would be to chew gum but I’ve always had sensory issues with it- usually can’t cope with the ick. Any shared experiences/tips are welcome!!
|
ADHD
|
I have severe depression and anxiety
My ptsd is getting bad
I think I’m going crazy
Can’t stop crying because of my flashbacks
I developed some phobia idk that’s weird
My family really can’t understand
They just like yeah you need to move on
But I can’t do nothing about it
Just need help i can’t do it anymore I’m tired
|
ptsd
|
I really want a tattoo to represent struggling with / overcoming OCD but I’m having a hard time coming up with something. I really, really like the incomplete circle tattoo that has been posted a couple times on this sub, but I’m worried that it feeds into the wrong idea that OCD is just about perfectionism. But I do like how it captures the feeling of uneasiness and incompleteness that OCD can cause. I want to incorporate something that involves uncertainty, maybe a question mark? Any ideas are welcome :)
|
OCD
|
Hi everyone,
I have been depressed and anxious for most of my life, as long as I can remember. Nothing particularly objectively traumatic has happened to me - I’m just like this. It seems to run in my family. My mom is severely depressed and so was her father. At 28, I see a lot of similarities between me and my mom, good and bad. But with regard to mental health, this is deeply scary. I have tried many many treatment avenues over the years and little has been effective.
I am eligible for a ketamine treatment program in my location. I have gotten a referral from a doctor and am considering starting the program, which consists of low doses of ketamine in combination with therapy, in the next few weeks. The treatment is new, but recognized as legitimate by both my doctor and psychiatrist. The difference between this program and others I’ve compared it to is that this one ends - it lasts for 6 sessions and then the patient is not expected to return regularly.
I’m wondering if anyone here has tried this before, and what your experiences were. I have hope for this, but I’m very concerned about the expense if it’s not going to be effective.
Thank you for any insights.
|
depression
|
I don't think I ever wanted to live..tired of being surrounded by things I don't understand, doing shit that's meaningless. I just want to escape..and I wanna go back but I fucking can't! Take me back goddamit to when it wasn't so obvious I was playing pretend! Haha pls, I can take it. That's the fucking problem I can take it and it's never enough to end things. FUCK WHY?!...and there is no god to beg for mercy. Why tf am I even here? And despite ball(hehheh) this ppl make it worse...I fucking hate living and I fucking hate ppl I fucking hate everything..I'm too old for this shit..just pretend
|
depression
|
Does anyone else have Contamination OCD, specifically regarding Rabies?
I slept over at a friend's house the other day, and he has cats. His cats are notorious for drinking out of cups and though I never actually saw it, it is highly likely that they drank out of mine. Now I know rabies is passed through the saliva (usually through bites) but my OCD of course, is here to save the day! The ridiculous thing is my friend lives in the city and his cats are outdoor cats. What fox or skunk roams around the city and how likely is an indoor cat to have rabies? Basically zero!
I've been trying ERP and it's been successful but I relapsed today when I went on google to search more about rabies, making me more anxious. I've thought about forcing him to send me pics of his cats after the 10 day period, in which infectious rabid animals are expected to die (it's been a week) but I don't want to give in to the compulsions. But then again, my contamination OCD isn't THAT bad. It doesn't flare up as often (though obsessions are a part of my life!) I only really get it with "exposure" to super deadly diseases like HIV and rabies. What do you think?
Anyone who suffers from the same issues, please humor me! The last time I thought I caught rabies was after my dog got sprayed by a skunk and I touched him!
|
OCD
|
Hello, I would like to share my story with fighting OCD. I don't expect many people to read this but I'm sure a lot of you can relate to the first half of this story, maybe even just little bits and pieces of it.
Once upon a time, I was terribly scared of going insane. The intrusive thoughts about harming others and the feelings that came along with said thoughts made me excessively worry that I was loosing my mind. I was not losing my mind, however, the amount of anxiety I felt sure made it feel like I was on the break of loosing my sanity. Turns out, I was only suffering from a classic case of of harm OCD. Though, there was a point in the middle of my obsession where it was just like my psyche had changed. I wasn't the same sweet and caring girl anymore. I startes to think that I had turned into a sociopath. I remember the day it happened, I felt numb. I think it's safe to say I got hit with depression that day. I had no energy and the anxiety wasn't ever so present anymore. So, was it a backdoor spike? Probably was, but regardless of that, I had never truely stopped obsessing. I remember feeling weird like as if a part of me was gone. Oddly enough, as scary as it was, I missed the anxiety. I still miss it to this day.
It was around the time that my "psyche had changed," where my symptoms started to get worse. I began to feel harm urges more frequently. I remember it feeling like I was retaining myself from going crazy. I remember crying and writing in a journal that it felt like I had wanted to act on my thoughts while really not wanting to at the same time. This experience had messed me up for a long time because I had no idea these "urges" were a common occurrence for those with OCD, and they had felt so terrifyingly real. To me, this experience was nothing but proof that I was some sort of psychopath. So, I was real ashamed of it and would get rid of any jackets I wore frequently around that time cause they had bad memories attached to them and I just kind of kept it a secret. Urges? What urges? I didn't want to have anything to do with that part of me. I wish I didn't waste time worrying over what were just false feelings, it was clear that I never wanted to hurt a soul. Eventually the urges just went away. Thankfully, I don't get them anymore.
One other thing that had occurred during my urges phase was rumination and I still struggle with it almost daily. When it first started, I was sitting in my history class and the teacher had mentioned something about how the punishment for stealing livestock in some country back in the day would be death. She asked us how we felt about it and one kid said it was harsh. In my mind, I thought, "how is that harsh?" Holy. Fuck. I didn't know how it was harsh. What I had felt, felt genuine. Had I lost my empathy? I began to analyze it, the person being killed for stealing a pig, trying to find some sort of reason, arguing with myself to find the answers I wanted to hear from myself. Nothing. I was confused on how this was harsh. I remember times where I was riding the bus home and I started to ruminate in the same fashion again, except my thought was "what's wrong with killing?" I felt the need to clear the confusion in my head cause this thought wouldn't go away until it felt right. I was doomed to repeat this action for years.
Throughout Highschool, I would pick up certain deep irrational thoughts to ruminate on, most of which are tied in with the harm OCD. They just seemed pretty serious to me and made me feel so confused, I felt like I had to figure them out. They didn't really give me anxiety, I just obsessed over them. I'll list some examples below:
■One of the thoughts was a confusion about why we. feel guilt and I would literally argue in my mind that guilt was just chemicals in the brain and therefore doesn't hold any real value. I did the same thing with love. I don't remember the exact thought process but it was just wacky.
■There was also a breif period of time where I had to ruminate on what exactly basic English words ment like I understood them but I felt like I couldn't truely process what they ment until I knew why and where they come from, etc.
■One time I couldn't even make sense of music, it was just sound to me?
■My brother had told me about yin and yang once and how it represents the balance between both good and evil. I'm not sure how accurate that is but he said without good, there can be no evil and without evil, there could be no good. My mind took this and thought that me turning into a serial killer would be good because without evil in the world (me), there would be no good. I literally ruminated on that... seriously, it concerned me that it made sense to me.
■This one didn't even last more than a day but my mind once justified rape.. and pedophilia.. gross.
■One big argument in relation to harm OCD was that I technically couldn't kill anyone if there's an afterlife cause the person killed would still be in existence.
Now I can look back on these thoughts and laugh at how ridiculous they are and all I did was stop thinking about them. However, they were like.. genuine? They felt very rational to me during the moment of obsession. This whole rumination process feels like it could be somethingother than OCD. Maybe I'm boarderline delusional? I can't self diagnose though.
You see, this part of me still worries me a lot. Lately my arguments have been all sorts of bullshit about how death doesn't matter because the person dead won't care about anything, how we only care about life bcause we are alive and wired to, or how meaninglesslife is in general. I probably missed one but I can't think of it at the moment. Either way, it's all stupid shit that randomly pops in my brain and it makes me very depressed. I mean depressed to the point where I find it hard to eat. Maybe finding little meaning and motivation in things with the depression I've developed and OCD just still present has something to do with this? It's as if i've actually post my sanity, I feel like I absolutely have to analyze the thought when it comes and try to fix it. I don't want to be the one who thinks this way!
What worries me is that I ruminate in a way that's not common in OCD (or at least I don't think it is). From what I've seen online, most people would obsess over how or if they did something, if they're a bad person, or what something in particular means, maybe even something exsitential like trying to find out what's real, or maybe they just need a thought to feel right. I don't go through any of that and it makes me doubt myself a whole lot. I feel pretty alone on this. Chances are, I'm a bit in denial and I mean that in both ways. I could either be in denial that this is obviously OCD or in denial that I don't have OCD.
Now, there's no denying that OCD plays a huge role in all this. I strongly believe that it would be ridiculous to say otherwise. My past with the disease itself is the reason why I'm here today. Though, I can barely see my current symptoms as OCD. To be honest, I am very scared of reaching out for help out of fear of being misunderstood or worse, I don't want to ruin my life, but does life matter? I am not about to ruminate on that right now. What do I do? And what the hell happened in this brain of mine? I guess I shouldn't expect any real answers here, but it feels good to vent, I guess. Anywho, I know this sounds cheesy, but if you managed to give this post any sort of attention, thank you. Just being heard means more than you think. <3
.....any thoughts?
|
OCD
|
Just wanna know if anyone ask dealing with false memories for their OCD. I don’t know if this is reassurance but perhaps knowing that there is someone out there who deals with it makes me feel somehow less alone. In any case, can PM me and share with me your experiences. I am feeling very depressed and defeated (very is an understatement tbh knowing that I’ve been very inactive the past few days) and I hope I can have someone to talk to. Thanks :)
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/nvzxff)
|
OCD
|
Unfortunately this is a small subreddit and as such there might not be mods around, or other people, to help you if you are in crisis.
## Discord Sever
We have a discord chat for PTSD. Anyone is welcome, regardless of whether or not you have been diagnosed with PTSD. Here's a link: [https://discord.gg/YE2eN6K](https://discord.gg/YE2eN6K).
## General Information
* NAMI.org is the national alliance on mental illness: [https://www.nami.org/](https://www.nami.org/)
* [Books for Recovery](http://recoveryisbeautiful.tumblr.com/post/99744401894/this-list-is-meant-for-educational-purposes-and-to)
* [App called "what's up?" on android, has general, helpful mental health resources](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.jacksontempra.apps.whatsup)
## PTSD Information
* [PTSD: Self Help, Symptoms, and Treatment](http://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/post-traumatic-stress-disorder.htm)
* [Mental Health America: PTSD](http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder)
* [Another PTSD forum (outside of reddit)](https://www.myptsd.com/)
* [The body keeps the score (book)](https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0670785938)
* [Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving (book)](https://www.amazon.com/Complex-PTSD-Surviving-RECOVERING-CHILDHOOD/dp/1492871842/)
* [PTSD: National Center for PTSD - USA Department of Veterans Affairs](https://www.ptsd.va.gov/understand/index.asp)
##Help With Anxiety
* [Dealing With Panic Attacks](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-iNOFD27G4)
* [100,000 Stars](http://stars.chromeexperiments.com/)
## If you feel like relapsing into self harm:
* [Self Help for Self Harm](http://au.reachout.com/self-help-for-self-harm)
##If you are struggling with an addiction relapse:
* [Relapse Help](http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/relapse-prevention.htm)
## If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide:
* [Self Help for Suicidal Feelings](http://www.suicideline.org.au/at-risk/self-help-for-suicidal-feelings)
* [International Suicide Hotlines](http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html)
## Dealing with Emotional Numbness
* [How to overcome emotional numbness](http://onlinecounsellingcollege.tumblr.com/post/63168024682/how-to-overcome-emotional-numbness)
## Insomnia
* [Self help for insomnia](http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/insomnia/Pages/insomniatips.aspx)
|
ptsd
|
Hi everyone !
I (22 F) just was diagnosed with ADHD (like yesterday). I've suspected I have ADHD for a few months now, and I talked about it with my psychiatrist, who told me I indeed had some clinical signs of ADHD. So we went in with the testing (one questionnaire + one clinical assessment) and he told me that I meet enough criteria to get the ADHD diagnosis. The problem is, I also have cPTSD (for those of you who don't know it, it stems from repetitive abuse during childhood/teenagehood causing some form -in my case!- of traumatic amnesia : I don't really remember much of my childhood). So fact is, I didn't have much memories from my childhood to meet the "before 12 yo" criteria, I tried to remember as much as I could but idk like the main point of my post it that, now that I have a diagnosis, I feel like I was faking my whole interview and the whole testing, even if somehow I'm still convinced I have ADHD cause I really meet a lot of the diagnostic criteria.
So basically yeah, I feel like I'm faking everything just to get attention or to find some cause for my everyday life struggles, even though I know it's not true? So yeah a bit of a paradoxe ahah I don't really know how to express it better than I just did. I guess a lot of you went through this as well after you were diagnosed, so do you have some coping strategies/things that helped you feel you are valid and not a fraud ?
That would help a lot
PS : sorry if there are any mistakes, english isn't my first language, so let me know if it's like really confusing aha
|
ADHD
|
I was diagnosed with ADHD a couple months ago, and I feel that it's really been hurting me academically for a long time. I started seeing a CBT therapist a while ago, and she's been giving me strategies to help. However, neither my grades nor my attention have improved at all (at least to me), and after looking into it, I think that stimulants may be an option to consider. Whenever I bring it up seriously, though, it's brushed off as a "last resort." They (my parents and therapist) have pointed to the fact I had received very good grades up until grade five and I am currently in gifted to say that I don't need medication. I am in eighth grade now, and my grades have dropped a lot since then. I just want a way to help my issues, because I feel that I could do a lot better than I am doing now, if multiple options were given a chance. Has anyone here experienced anything similar and have advice to share? Thanks.
|
ADHD
|
Hey everyone,
For a long time in my life I have had ocd related to rabies. Up until this year it didn't bother me as much, as I thought as long as I don't get bitten by a rabid animal there's nothing to worry about.
One day I decided to research how long can rabies virus be transmitted in saliva outside a rabid animal. Most sites I came across said it's nothing to worry about, as the rabies virus is destroyed seconds outside the body of its host. However, this site ([https://www.wormsandgermsblog.com/2012/07/articles/animals/dogs/rabies-virus-survival/](https://www.wormsandgermsblog.com/2012/07/articles/animals/dogs/rabies-virus-survival/)) linked to a study that showed that the rabies virus can live for hours, even days on surfaces.
Ever since I read that article my rabies OCD has gotten way worse. I'm worried that ill pick up rabies from walking down the street or touching something outside, making me have to take a shower when I get home to decontaminate.
This article has caused me to have a lot of intrusive thoughts now. For example, last night while at home I heard an animal screaming outside in my backyard. I didn't think much of it, but then today my parents went to go do work in the backyard and then touched food I ate at dinner. Now I am worried that that animal I heard last night in the backyard was rabid and his spit then got onto my parents' body when doing work in the backyard and then got onto my food somehow. Before I wouldn't worry, but now after seeing that article it makes me believe that this could be a possibility, due to the timeframes of the rabies virus being mentioned in this article.
​
Can anyone debunk this study? Why does this study say it can last for hours in the environment, when other sources say it disappears in a few seconds? I really wish I never did any research on this.
Thanks
|
OCD
|
This is driving me nuts. I am repeating a uni course for the 3rd time and I promised myself it will be the last.
My days are like this: Get up, go to uni to study, have lunch with a family member who lives close by, go back to uni, fall into bed at home.
Problem: Only 1 week in it bored me incredibly. 2 weeks in and I'm at the verge of tears thinking about continuing this for another 9 months.
Currently I do not trust myself to *not* study at uni, because at home too much distracts me. But my uni is so small and far away from the city center, it's not like I can do anything for fun during study breaks. I can only get a coffee at a nearby supermarket, and chill at uni. Most of the other students are studying from home during Covid. Haven't seen anyone from my course at uni yet.
I only recently learnt that ADHD has a lot to do with stimulation, and that's why for example we are so easily addicted to games; instant rewards, lot of stimulation. So I am trying to think of small games/ puzzles or something stimulating to take with me, but haven't found anything yet. Well, I could install a video game on my uni laptop and play that during my break.
Long term I want to manage to go to the gym again after uni, but at the moment I'm so fucking exhausted after being at uni for 8 hours a day that I don't find the strength to.
What are your "life hacks" to deal with the same daily routine?
|
ADHD
|
It's driving me absolutely insane, I feel that I need to "confess" as in tell my loved ones at home everything, and it's not necessarily anything "private" it's absolutely anything, the worst part is that I feel if I don't give in then I won't be able to relax so it makes the fear worse. I'm so tired of this.
|
OCD
|
I thought I'd share some of the things that work for me:
1. Buy or find something to fidget with. This is so important for you. You'll notice your entire mood can shift if you just pay attention to how smooth an object is or how it moves! I also have noticed that I always use them unconsciously to soothe myself.
2. Give yourself variety when it comes to your fidgets. I have a fidget cube for when I am anxious or out in public. I tend to need something for every occasion. I alternate from soft, rigid, smooth, squishy, clicky, bouncy, etc.
3. It's okay to not like a certain smell, texture or visual. It takes me a long time to figure out what it is I don't like and find painful to deal with. Mostly because I've had to conform to society's expectations. By the time I realize I am in pain, people come around to tell me that's odd or too sensitive. So if you don't like the texture of those new pants you bought, it's okay to want to wear something else. Don't force these things upon yourself in order to merely function. There can be a time and a place for this, but take the time to realize it's okay if you don't want to do something. Be easy on yourself!
4. Routine isn't an all or nothing process. I have struggled maintaining a routine, because once it gets thrown off balance, everything is over and I shut down with no desire to properly progress. Usually I spend days trying to perfect every aspect of my future routine. Rather it's the perfect and most efficient diet, hygiene, study, exercise and socially structured routine, I end up going all out or nothing at all. You need to remember that as much as it seems more logical to plan everything out this way, it's quite impractical. Human beings do not behave in such a rigid manner, rather that's NTs or not. Start off by focusing on the fundamentals of your life. Right now for me it's sleep and food. I know if I don't get enough sleep I am doomed. I know that if I do not eat properly I am doomed. It takes awhile to get to a place where you feel comfortable just achieving a limited amount of things per day instead of what you 'could' have achieved. Remember all those times where you felt so overwhelmed your routine broke down? Maybe this is a better way. Establish the basics and with the time you have left over when those goals have been completed for the day, follow a routine (perhaps playing video games…lol) that you have already been following before. Be kind to yourself, you deserve this more than anything because of the fact that you can be happy and successful.
5. Look into ear plugs. When I wear them, it's as if everything around me is much more tolerable and peaceful. I got the "Vibes Acoustic Filter Ear Plugs" on Amazon. I am still able to have conversations while wearing them.
6. Everyone says to be yourself, but I argue there is a time and a place for this. Constantly masking can become exhausting. If you're masking because you're worried about the trivial opinions of others, you're bound to get overwhelmed and burnt out more easily. I found myself masking when it came to fitting in with the crowd, but when it came to reasoning with people I would find myself being straight forward and blunt. I find that the opposite is better. Try and simplify things to the fullest extent. This brings me to my next point...
7. Learn about Logic. Yes, I know we always use it. However, it's important to see the differences between inductive reasoning, deductive reasoning and abductive reasoning. Once I briefly read about these, I was able to look at things in a less black in white manner when the situation called for a variety of thought processes. I also was able to switch between each category of reasoning and apply them to the appropriate situations.
8. Let's face it… eating can be such a chore. I can't be bothered to cook up something three times a day. It's very tedious experimenting with food only to be really picky about it. I struggle with textures and flavours quite a bit. A meal that is not gourmet can ruin my whole day. The task of sitting there… and eating is so incredibly boring when I could be doing something else. I have to eat though, and my diet being healthy is important for my energy throughout the day and mental well being. So what the heck do I do? Most healthy recipes online I find I absolutely detest. Well… I found what works for me. Raw vegetables and fruits, specifically a whole foods lifestyle. I love eating vegetables as they are, because the flavours are subtle and the textures are uniform. The problem is they take forever to chew if they are raw, and that really bugs me if I have to sit there and focus on it. I made up this thing called mindless eating. You know how we can watch a show and go through a whole bag of chips without noticing it? Well, now I cut up my vegetables into small pieces I could grab with my fingers and munch on them while studying or focusing on something else. I find it to be like chewing gum or breathing. It becomes second nature, and it's a plus that it's very healthy. My meals are all what I call finger foods. Easily accessible while I am doing something else, because I do not want to sit down and spend the time eating or cooking. I buy my vegetables and cut them all up in one day. I store them in tupperware and organize them neatly in my fridge. I like meat… a lot of it. It's good to have a lot of meat in your diet. Avoid things with high glutamate, like soy or dairy. Excess glutamate is associated with a lot of mental health. I will cook up steaks which take 5-10 minutes depending on how you like yours. Which I'll then have a side of homemade meatballs and garlic bread with. I alternate between salmon and chicken (lots of healthy fats). I will cook the salmon, meatballs and chicken in one day and then store them away for the week. I like meatballs because they are easy to pick up and munch on. The best thing about this is as long as I like the food I always eat the same thing.
9. If you want to fit into a community, try and find people that are like you or who are also on the spectrum. Maybe your quirks could throw the average NT off… and that can make you feel the need to mask yourself. I know you may come here to relate and understand yourself better, but maybe you need a place where you can just simply say whatever it is on your mind instead of always thinking about it a billion times.
I really hope some of this helped.
|
aspergers
|
Lately, I’ve been feeling down, even when I’m having a good time with people it seems that especially after, I feel an emptiness, I recently “secretly” got out of a cult (faded) which involved being dropped by most of my friends that I had since I was a kid,( I was a born in), I just got to celebrate my first birthday and thanksgiving, and I’m excited to live like a normal human being, but, even though, I’m free from this cult, mentally, it fucked me up, I never had a Normal childhood, I never got to experience my teenage years, hell even my early young adulthood wasn’t normal, I’m in my mid 20s barely starting from scratch learning about myself, learning about my likes and dislikes. I even made a few friends, but when you loose everything you’ve ever had, it’s a burden that I don’t know how to fill that void, I’ve had panic attacks from memories from this cult, and the teachings, I’ve had nightmares, and I’ve been in the darkness mentally that if it wasn’t for me pushing myself to do shit, I would’ve just been in bed all day, sadly the one I trusted isn’t in my life at the moment, and I will say it hasn’t made it easier, it sure made it easy to forget the pain that I had. Lately I’ve been wishing death upon myself, wishing that I had the opportunity to take myself out, but I’ve always been a pussy about it, and I’ve caught myself imagining in ways that would end me, not going on in this world, being just a memory that wouldn’t cross in peoples minds since I don’t really have anyone, I have people that I love and care about, like my family, and i don’t have many friends to worry about really, I’ve drank myself to sleep many times before, gotten high to at least relax, not feel anything, or forget everything, i want to talk to people but I’ve always been an introvert, and the cult that I’ve been in didn’t help since I never learned to properly socialize aside from just talking about propaganda that i was taught to preach. This vent just went all over but i just had to let it go somewhere. I hope those with similar or worse situations are doing good and i hope things get better, believe me, we all deserve better, unfortunately, we all have demons inside us, some are stronger than others
|
depression
|
hey everyone,
ive been really struggling with suicidal thoughts for the last 6 months.
I had a psychotic episode and completely ruined my life. I lost my girlfriend because of my mania... i swear we were soul mates. I spent all of my money gambling while manic. I completely ruined my career by badmouthing my bosses and word spread to other firms which has lead to me needing a career change. I'm considering going back to university to find a new career although my previous career was very high paying which is a bummer.
So i lost my
1. Girlfriend
2. Great Career
3. All my money
I dont know what to do anymore, i feel like ive lost everything.
|
depression
|
I was diagnosed about 3 years ago. My dad forgot to tell me, so I didn't really know about it until this spring when he mentioned it to my teacher. I started to think about it a lot since then, and I constnatly have this feeling that I don't really have adhd. Now it may sound like I'm just overthinking it, but seriously. My attention problems are so little compared to what most people with ADHD experience. I can get a bit forgetfull and sometimes I just start thinking so much that I space out, but it's not like it makes my life harder. I stopped taking my stimulants because I didn't really feel any difference. I still don't feel much different from when I took them. Though I felt more confident when I did, but I think it was just because I was happy that it may help me study.
Now, around the time I was diagnosed I was pretty stressed. I moved from a school where majority of my class didn't really like me. And even though I was in a new class, I still felt pretty stressed. I didn't talk with anybody, I refused to do any school work. All I did in class was drawing and sleeping, because I didn't sleep at night. This, of course, didn't do me any good. I had horrible grades. My dad took me to a child psychiatrist because of that, who diagnosed me with ADHD.
Now, I heard that a lot of times ADHD can be misdaignosed. I wasn't in a very good state of mind, which affected my behaviour. But was it really because of a condition? I think a lot of kids wouldn't really have the strength to do anything in a situation like that. And I think that I may have been misdiagnosed because of how stressed I was at the time.
|
ADHD
|
I’ve reached a point where my psychiatrist, GP, therapist, and I have sort of exhausted resources to treat my depression. I was diagnosed officially with Clinical Depression and General Anxiety Disorder back in 2016. (Although I’m certain I’ve had both most of my life) I’ve definitely made progress through many combinations of medication, DBT, and CBT. However, my depression still affects pretty much every aspect of my life in a noticeably negative way. Unfortunately, persistent symptoms include suicide ideation and intrusive thoughts. Which for obvious reasons are tough to handle.
But I digress, my healthcare providers and myself are exploring options of TMS or Ketamine. Like many of my fellow Americans, I make less than $40k a year and have mediocre insurance. My insurance will cover a decent chunk of the cost for TMS but from the information I have available to me results seem pretty mixed. I’ve heard pretty great things about Ketamine but it's really expensive. We’re talking about most of my monthly income.
Has anyone or anyone close in your life had any experiences with either? Positive or negative.
|
depression
|
Hi everyone. I (18F) am frequently very irritated by my family. I live with my parents and grandparents, and for some reason it’s very easy to get irritated by them. I feel horribly guilty when I’m unnecessarily irritated by them because they aren’t doing anything wrong, and it makes me wonder if I’m an awful person. I also get a ton of mean intrusive thoughts about the people I love which doesn’t help at all. Anyone relate? This guilt is making me feel awful. I feel a need to “confess” constantly that I feel irritated sometimes, but it doesn’t reflect how I truly feel about them/who I am. It’s like I’m questioning what I’ve always considered myself to be (empathetic, thoughtful, kind, etc.) which sucks so so bad.
|
OCD
|
Recently learning that i have adhd, and the only symptom i was a little unsure of was rejection sensitivity. I've always thought i was pretty good at dealing with rejection and not having issues with it.
Tonight i learned what rejection sensitivity is and that i absolutely do have it. Was very excited to hang out with my siblings for a game night this weekend. At one point while i was away, my fiancé shared a story i made very clear i didn't want shared, especially not with my family. This is the second time she's shared this story. It's a situation that is funny to look back on but I'm embarrassed about and haven't fully processed as it's rather recent.
I come back to the table to everybody dying of laughter, and the joke was referenced multiple times the rest of the night. I could not get out of that house fast enough.
|
ADHD
|
I feel like a fraud
A puppet dancing around in a play with no plot, a bad script and an unhappy ending.
Every moment I fear someone will notice, notice that I don't belong where I am.
That I fake all I am, all that I do.
That I'm an idiot. A liar. A good for nothing.
I try to build a life. But every time I stay in place, the anxiety grows day by day.
Someone will notice soon. They all will know. What am I doing? I should go. I can't be here. I don't know what I'm doing.
The self loathing grows, it festers in my pool of growing anxiety.
The more anyone gets to know me, the sooner they will notice that I'm out of place here. Every conversation, every workday, every social situation. The paranoia gets stronger.
The urge to run away from everything before it all falls apart. The noise in my head seems never ending.
What is wrong with me?
Why can't I be like everyone else?
But what am I even faking?
I don't even know, perhaps everything?
A friend once told me that "Your voice is really nice, it's like a background noise I don't really have to listen to." And that stuck in my head, even when it happened years ago.
Am I supposed to be the main character of my own life? I feel like I'm ruining pages in everyone else's books just by being there.
It's only a matter of time before everyone hates me. When they notice that I am nothing, they will ignore me, avoid me. They will see that I don't know how to live life like everyone else. They will give me that look I am afraid of.
Everyday is a struggle, I want to run, to hide. Make myself unnoticeable to others. To dissappear.
I am not worthy of anyone's time.
I am ashamed of who I am.
Please don't look at me.
I'm just a fraud.
|
depression
|
It seems like I have to procrastinate every single thing and I’m so tired of it. Before this whole lockdown thing started last year I feel like I was a completely different person. I mean, I did procrastinate a bit but I was always on top of things. Now I even procrastinate sleeping or waking up. I’m failing like 3 classes now, and I did horrible last year (so horrible, in fact, that my gpa went from a 4.0 to a 2.6) because I can’t commit to anything. I’m not depressed, I just can’t uphold any of my responsibilities. Even when I’m not tired I still decide to put my alarm on snooze like 10 times before I decide to get up for school. I procrastinate washing dishes, cleaning my room, doing my art. It’s so upsetting. And another part of it is that I get frustrated by the tiniest stuff, so then I decide “okay I’m gonna take a break and come back”, even if it’s only been like 15 seconds of trying. And, you guessed it, I don’t come back to it. I feel like I should talk to my parents about medication or something
|
ADHD
|
Im tired and it feels like i like my sexual intrusive thoughts, the groinal response i get feels good and i hate that because it makes me feel like i would enjoy it. I hate it so much how some professionals are just like maybe, maybe not. I don’t like it because i feel bad if i don’t know I wouldn’t enjoy it. I hate how it feels like i want to or I’m getting close to doing something bad and i hate how the intrusive thoughts dont cause anxiety sometimes and i get anxiety because I didn’t feel anxiety, it is complicated
|
OCD
|
I have OCD and sometimes feel paranoid that I wouldn't notice if I hit something/someone while driving.
I check my front car bumper after driving sometimes because I'm so afraid that maybe I didn't see or hear a collision and could have hit someone or committed a felony without my knowledge. Sometimes I even double back and check to make sure nothing is on the road. There never is. There's never any sign of any sort of accident, but "what if it happened and I didn't know"?
Does anyone else suffer from this? Obviously you'd KNOW if something hit your car, right? Like that wouldn't be something you could miss? I feel so foolish for this worry.
|
OCD
|
Hey friends, I was recently diagnosed ADHD and prescribed Ritalin SR 20mg. I picked up my meds today and I am really nervous to take the first dose. I used to occasionally take a friend's Dexedrine and they made me anxious... can I expect the same effects from my slow release Ritalin? I asked my doctor if I should take them on a normal work day and go to work and he said yes that's fine, but I'm considering putting it off till the weekend. Thoughts and support would be greatly appreciated!
|
ADHD
|
I get a constant fear that those that I opened up to about my OCD will go behind my back and slander me and makeup lies about me over opening up about the painful experience of having OCD.
Anyone has any kind words to tell me? I told my girlfriend about it and she totally understands and is sympathetic towards me but I just can't help but not believe that she understands that I have OCD and think that the thoughts I have are genuine....
:(
|
OCD
|
Hi all, I have a full time job and generally I'm okay after each day.
Today however seems like it took an extra toll on me. It was hot, and I recall having bad sensory overload at some point (I had to go to the bathroom to chill out.) Now everything is just tired.
My muscles, my brain feels foggy, I don't feel like talking or even playing Planet Zoo which is something I tend to do when I'm trying to wind down after a long day. Has anyone experienced this before and how did you deal with it?
|
aspergers
|
I recently got diagnosed with post partum anxiety and suspected OCD after having my first baby. I certainly agree that in the first months of my baby's life, I was struggling with PPOCD. I was experiencing intrusive thoughts and mental images of everything that go could wrong, I had thoughts and images of my baby getting hurt etc. It was a really hard time for me, but as the months have passed and I'm on medication, waiting for therapy, I have improved massively.
However, I still suffer and have always suffered obsessive, intrusive and cyclic thoughts. I experience earworms and have done ever since I can remember. I never considered myself "OCD" though.
I definitely can be compulsive, and I certainly struggled with obsessive thoughts, but I just don't know if full blown OCD is what I'm dealing with. I feel almost like an imposter. I don't feel like I 100% meet the criteria. Can you have OCD without the religious compulsions? Sometimes I have days where I need to carry out a certain act in order to quell the anxiety, but other times I don't. Would somebody with OCD have on and off days? It just doesn't make sense to me. I feel like I'm frozen or paralysed by my obsessive thoughts, but don't always need to behave any particular way. For example, I get mental images of the oven exploding whenever I'm using it, these thoughts make me uncomfortable but it's not distressing to me, I don't need to carry out any act to stop the oven from exploding. But then some days I need to kiss my boyfriend in a certain sequence until it feels "right" before I go to sleep on a night.
Does anybody else feel like their thoughts are so loud it almost gives them tinnitus? I feel like I can feel and hear everythought so loudly. (I have never heard voices or anything like that).
I don't think I'm making any sense. I just really don't understand my head!
I'm also new to reddit too so I don't really know what I'm doing.
I'd just like some insight I guess.
|
OCD
|
My head is full of 2000s pop songs playing in random order, I have multiple homework assignments due, I need to reflect on about six different mistakes I made yesterday, I was happy earlier and that somehow feels wrong and I can't find time to figure it out, I seriously considered Nazism this morning, I hate everyone I love and I...
​
I need a moment to think and to sort this out. Also, I'm clearly not thinking clear at the moment for various moments, but I have a million different things vying for my attention. What do you do when you need to think but can't find a chance?
|
ADHD
|
I could be lying in bed, perfectly still, and the thoughts can get to be so much that I end up just randomly flailing my limbs hoping for some sort of relief. Is this normal? I also get smaller ones from time to time that might be sort of like tics, but I don’t feel like I know enough about that area to call them that.
|
OCD
|
I’m in a semi famous local band and I’m about to be kicked out for lack of communication. I’m really bad with hitting people up and making plans to hang out so it’s something that I rarely do less it’s already planned weeks ahead I just want to know is there anyway I can change my behavior so I can better communicate just with practice or if there’s a way to communicate the fact that it’s very hard for me to want to do these things so they can best understand because these are some of my closest friends
|
aspergers
|
I never get sick but I feel so physically weak when im depressed and ruminating a lot I can’t explain. I’m very depressed right now and got lots of stress with my girlfriend. And also got a kidney infection. Anyone else (gets physically sick)?
Also im at that Point where im happy to have physical problems cause it’s distraction from my brain I guess???? I don’t know. Maybe also because I then have a reason to feel bad or project my bad feelings. Idk.
Ah and what’s really funny is that when u research, kidney problems can come from stress and anxiety and problems with ur partners. I normally don’t believe smth. Like this but it fits perfectly in my life situation haha.
|
OCD
|
I spent almost two years working out and bulking up to 148 (I’m 5’8”). I wasn’t in incredible shape or anything, but I was finally starting to be happy with the way my body looked and felt.
Slipped into a more significant depressive episode, and I haven’t been to the gym in over 3 months. Appetite is significantly lower, some days I barely eat anything at all.
I just weighed in at 129. The last time my mother saw me, she commented that I was starting to look more gant and frail.
A lot of people talk about weight gain during depression, which is absolutely a devastating factor and should be respected. Unfortunately, there is a flip side for us skinny guys, and it can be just as harmful to self-esteem. The worst part is seeing how much progress I lost so quickly, it makes it hard to want to motivate myself to start up again.
|
depression
|
What medications are you/have you been on? Has it helped you, and if so, how?
Share your experience and results (Y-BOCS score or any other tests, if any).
|
OCD
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.