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After:
* 10 months of therapy
* telling my story way too many times
* two therapists
* two counseling offices
* two intake appointments
* hundreds of dollars for session copays
* thousands of hours of reading about PTSD, trauma, and the brain
I have officially been diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder on this day, April 16, 2021, and I. am. so. happy. I know that this doesn't signify healing but oh my goodness, it validated the heck out of me.
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ptsd
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Has anyone got an issue with confrontation? Like if I’m challenged in work or someone suggests I’m wrong, I seem to internally explode and have a mini panic attack. It’s ten times worse if there are others there watching or listening.
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aspergers
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I've been diagnosed with ADHD recently. So, before trying Concerta, I've been prescribed Wellbutrin. Even thugh its effects I should feel in the first two weeks, I can already feel it now?
It's such a bizzare feeling. It's friday. I want to go out. And yet.... I have this little devil in my head who is saying no, and I am actually hesitating?
Usually, whenever that side of me is trying to talk me out of doing something, my head immediatly pushes them back and ignores it. Now, I am actually suffering. I know, it's something I do. It's something I would do. It's something I would probably regret doing. But I would go out either way. But now, I have these breaks which are stopping me and constantly reminding me that this is a bad idea and I am paralyzed.
Any thoughts? Is this something you experienced? It's such a weird feeling controlling my impulses. And yet, here I am.
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ADHD
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I don't really know where else to ask this, so here I am.
A few days ago, I was browsing r/CPTSDmemes , when I saw a meme, something about when the person was a kid family members made them pee into cups to pass drug tests. Anyways, I was taking a shower earlier today, when I thought about that meme. I thought, "Hehe, my mom was a drug addict, she must've been dumb to not think of that."
When I got a memory. It couldn't have lasted more than a few seconds, and it was only fractures, but I got a memory. I started crying in the shower.
I think this was a flashback but I'm not sure. I was in my own POV (different from other memories), but I wouldn't say that I was truly "in" the memory. I didn't feel, taste, or even hear anything, I just... saw. It was terrifying.
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ptsd
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I am in my mid 20s and went to a LOT of parties since i’m 18, ,,only’’ drinking alcohol and then with 21,22 stimulants like speed or cocaine was involved. Only at the weekends but when i was drunk and i saw someone with drugs i rarely said no. At first everything was fine, like normal hangovers and 2,3 days feeling down and anxious. When i was at parties i often consumed drugs that im not sure what was in it, like sniffing cocaine for example but it could be everything. I also took ecstacy but always the half and not so often. Then i got my first depersonalisation episode and noticed social anxiety everyday (one of the worst times of my life) it got better a little bit but i am not the same person anymore. There are days where i am really social and not anxious but something changed (maybe forever) it drives me crazy now im wiser and older and i dont know how much damage i did with consuming stuff and never know 100% what it was.
I checked my brain with MR and everything seems fine on the organic but i am traumatized for sure because i have only few memories of the countless party nights with alcohol and drugs.
I had fights, got robbed and was really a different person, sure the booze gives you confidence, but it damaged my soul so much, i was so young and dumb.
What could help me to get back to my old self, for the moment i have diazepam when it gets unbearable and i tried wellbutrin xl (only made me more anxious). I really need something because i overthink too much and im not spontaneous like before.
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depression
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I used to have much more intense anxiety before, but over time it gradually decreased to a point where I'd barely feel a slightly elevated BPM whenever I'd have it. My main issue now is that the guilt from the intrusive thoughts is much stronger than before and I don't know how to reduce it/get rid of it or if it's even OCD.
I've started to think it's just habitual self-hatred that started ever since I did something in the past that made me feel like I've went against my moral code and it's just my brain finding ways to hate itself. Ever since then, I've had questions in my mind like "Did I kill someone?" or "Did I rape someone?", which are tied to moments in my past which I cannot recall perfectly or was not conscious in.
What could this be?
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OCD
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Like "oh OCD means you need everything to be neat" or "oh OCD so you need to clean and wash your hands all the time"
My ocd (I was diagnosed early this year) usually takes the form of intrusive thoughts, checking, and health anxiety.
It just irks me when I explain to someone why I do certain behaviors (like checking my car door over and over to make sure it is locked) and they ask me why and I explain it is OCD and they will say what they think OCD is and I just don't understand where they got that idea from.
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OCD
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So this is a depression/hoping for some advice post. I’m in a great university however I have a low GPA (2.88) and fear after this semester it will be slightly lower. Normally this would be ok for certain majors as some employers just want to see a degree however with my current major (biology) and the careers I’m looking into (PA, Pharmacist) you need to go to a graduate school and I’m a good .3 or .4 off from the minimum GPAS they look at, and being a first semester into my junior year I feel like it’s too late. Being a failure in my eyes has been eating me alive and it’s all I can think about 24/7 sending me into a spiraling depression I can’t seem to get out of, it even gets as bad sometimes as thoughts of suicide creeps into my mind in my worst moments. I’m honestly just unsure how to get out of this rut and wish I just had some sort of plan or stability so I can stop feeling like there’s no hope for me and I’m doomed to be a failure and embarrassed next to my peers and successful family members.
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depression
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There are alot of times that I start getting overwhelmed in public, but I naturally just freeze those feelings untill I get to a privet space and then I just explode. I feel like theres probably a better way to deal with these feelings, especially because when I freeze I get dizzy, headachey and basically put all the emotional energy into body symptoms instead. What are some things other people do if they're in a situation like this
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ptsd
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Hello everybody.
I have always been OCD, since I was very young. For instance, if my parents told me that wine is bad for kids, I'd develop a huge fear of wine and, each time it was on the table, I'd run to the bathroom to spit repeatedly, which was in my mind the only way to be safe.
As I grew older, my compulsions reached a level that forced me to wake up one hour earlier to get ready. That's when I got help, and things went much better.
Lately, the only time my OCD would take strength again was when I felt I was losing my grip on things. For instance, if me and my bf are in a bad place, there it comes again. But it wasn't that bad, I could handle it still, and I was fine.
Two months ago, I experienced a seriously traumatic experience, which I think ruined my brain somehow. My bf suffers from epilepsy, but I had never seen him have a seizure. When it happened, we were alone, and although I was instructed and knew exactly how it looks like, my brain went nuts and I honestly thought, or better, I was utterly convinced that he was dying in my arms.
From that day, nothing was the same.
I started obsessing about the memory. I played it over and over again in my mind. At first, I was extremely scared of being around him, scared it would happen again. Then the weird part came.
I first started thinking that I would become epileptic, and therefore I started avoiding being alone, to the point in which each day I procrastinated showering. I did it, but really quickly and at the very end of the day, because I didn't have the guts until I really had to.
Then I started seriously obsessing that something bad would happen to my dad. I don't know why him. Nothing ever happened to him before. I was so obsessed that I would check on him every single minute to check if he was fine.
Until, some days ago, in a moment I finally wasn't obsessing, he felt sick for real. He had an atrial fibrillation and I had to call the ambulance myself. He was admitted in the hospital and then came home the day after with some medications.
Mind me, despite the fact that everybody is telling me, including doctors (and my dad is a doctor himself), that this does not lead to death, I am obsessing even more than before. I feel physically sick since that day. I stopped eating, have constant diarrea, constant tachicardia, pain everywhere. The most problematic part is that I struggle being around my father right now. I love him extremely much, but it paralizes me. I am forcing myself to spend time around him nevertheless, but my brain is constantly projecting images of him dying suddenly, feeling super sick, or things like that.
I am TIRED. My body and brain cannot take this anymore. I have constant panic attacks, at least once a day. I am trying meditation, I am going to a psychologist, I am transforming my thoughts trying to tell my brain that what I am imagining is just imagination, that it's not more likely to happen than before and that it does not really disturb me. Also, I am trying to see my anxiety as a cartoon character and laugh about it. Sometimes these things work, but most of the times they don't. If my father is around, I obsess about him dying, if he is not, I obsess about my own health or death.
Is there anybody who went through something similar and may help? Even tell me "sooner or later, it'll go away". I am so scared this will be my life forever from now on.
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OCD
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curious what the job is like especially an apprenticeship for someone living with OCD :)
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OCD
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I (29yo AFAB ENBY) was finally diagnosed with ADHD-C just over a month ago. They immediately prescribed me with Elvanse/Vyvanse (lisdexamphetamine).
I've been on 50mg of Sertraline for over 2 years and started Elvanse around 4 weeks ago. They started me on 30mg and I noticed mild effects a couple of hours after taking it but they'd dwindle just as fast and I would crash for the rest of the day. Explained this to the ADHD consultant and she said it was common when the dose wasn't high enough. They prescribed me on the 50mg and said to take these for 2 weeks and also sent along 70mg to try for the following two weeks and decide which dose worked best for me.
I've had a bad time from the first day of taking the 50mg, so bad that I actually called them the 2nd day to check that what i was feeling was normal and whether or not I should continue...
The first day on them I started getting paranoid thoughts and delusions in the night whilst having sex with my partner. I felt dissociated and panicked and unsure of what thoughts were true. I abruptly stopped and went to the bathroom to try and calm down but this just got worse. I then tried to leave the house and seemed to be having an anxiety attack. I felt uneasy and disconnected for a while after and very upset. This was extremely distressing and upsetting for my partner who had no idea what was going on because I couldn't talk about what I was feeling and why I was acting so strangly whilst this was all going on. Basically a complete freak out and I cried a lot when I settled back down.
The second day I had to attend an assessment for DSA as I'm currently studying at uni. 25 min into the appointment I thought I was going to have to stop the assessment because I had really bad anxiety and started to experience mild derealisation and was finding it difficult looking at the assessor without my anxiety getting even worse. Managed to pull through and called the clinic when I got home. I was extremely jittery both days. The clinic said that these were just side affects that should pass and were common when changing dose. They explained that if they continued for more than a week that they'd reassess the dose and think about dropping it down to 40mg.
The third day I felt like I was settling into them a bit more and attended uni and went about my day as usual. At this point I realised that I had had a headache since starting the 50mg dose and had started getting worsening muscle pains and stiffness that also started on the first day. I decided that I would have a drink in the evening as I am going to be isolating for most of the following week due to having a medical procedure and wanted to get some socialisation in. (Being social has been difficult since being on the meds due to the fatigue, emotional and crashing symptoms I was having on the 30mg dose)
The fourth day (today) I woke up feeling absolutely fine, had a mild hangover but nothing that felt unmanageable or dihabilitating. I took my meds two hours later than I would usually due to waking up later and then started getting ready for work thay started at 2pm. I'd also like to note that I have a pills box for each day and I take the Elvanse, Sertraline, extra strength vitamin D and multivitamins all at the same time.
I drive 25 mins to my workplace and i haven't had a car accident or mishap since I passed at the beginning of last year. I went to get some food before starting work and then set off on route again. Might be worth pointing out that this was the very point I'd be expecting my meds to kick in as it had been around 60-90 mins since taking them. I was stopped behind a car at the lights and was looking at a receipt. The lights turned green and I set of and put the receipt down in the process. When I looked back up, the car in front was no longer moving and I slammed the brakes on at the same time as colliding with the car. I was going around 1mph before hitting the car in front. I reversed slightly and turned off the engine and both me and the other driver got out. Thankfully both cars didn't have a scratch and the other driver was super nice about it and even laughed about there being no damage. He could see I was a bit shook up and kindly reassured me and told me not to worry about it and got back in his car to set off. This obviously set off my anxiety and I thought "what a great time for this to happen when my meds are just kicking in".
Fast forward to being at work and immediately having to sit in the office due to having a racing heart and feeing extremely anxious. Spoke to my managers and told them about the incident and the dose change and that my anxiety was just worse because of me still settling into the meds.
My resting BMP was 120 when I checked it in the office and would jump up and down but never drop below 100 bmp. After an hour I decided trying to work would probably help take my mind off things. I managed about 45 mins before I felt like I was going to be sick after downing loads of water due to having extreme dry mouth. Checked my heart rate and it was 140bmp just from walking to the toilet. I decided I needed another sit down. Went back to the office and this time the anxiety symptoms were way worse. Struggling to breath, racing heart, starting getting faint tingling in my hands and face... at this point I realised that I wasn't actually anxious anymore about the car incident and that my body was just reacting this way without external or internal stressors. The BIG concerning earning sign I got that something wasn't quite right is that I started getting visual hallucinations when I was looking at my phone. The whole phone and the words were slating into a diamond shape (very mildly) and the tingling was getting worse. At this point I decided I couldn't stay at work and that there was also no way I was going to be able to drive home. I was concerned about my racing heartbeat and the hallucinations and considered calling 111 before deciding it was an A&E trip because I was clearly having some sort of reaction with my meds.
At first I assumed that maybe the meds had reacted with the alcohol I'd drank the night before and that I should get checked out to be on the safe side. I ordered an uber at 4pm and had to walk a short distance out of work which felt like a life time with my heart rate going so fast.
This is where things took an extremely sharp turn for the worst. In the uber I thought it sensible to let my partner and housemate know where I was going and why, mainly as I was concerned I could be having a heart attack and wanted them to know I was safe and such. I called my mum to explain all this too and not long into the conversation is when things started to -looking back- get really scary.
The tingling in my arms and face amplified to the extreme, I've never in my life experienced anything like it. I don't think I could compare it to anything to explain how bad it was. It was so bad that my eyeballs felt like they were vibrating into my skull (later took a video whilst waiting in a&e to find they WERE actually physically shaking) and my face felt like it was being pulled shut. My speech started to become slurred and it was difficult to talk in general. The uber driver was extremely nice about everything and made sure I was comfortable the whole journey.
Leaving the uber to walk into a&e was awful, I could barely walk, a security guard asked if they could help and I couldn't talk and he asked if I needed to see a doctor and I nodded. I was trying to breathe and doing breathing exercises and he asked if I could wear a mask, I mananage to say I couldn't and then walked over to a woman and manged to blurt out "I think I'm having a reaction to my medication" and she asked about my symptoms and asked if I had heart palpitations and I nodded and was sent over to an extremely cold receptionist. I was having to prop myself up on the desk so I didn't fall over whilst trying to control my racing heart by controlling my breathing. I couldn't remember my own birthday at first when she asked and it took me a second to remember it. It was difficult explaining what was going on to her at all.
I had to sit and wait to be seen by the person who asks about symptoms/takes simple tests and decides what to do with you. The symtoms were at peak at this point and even sitting down was difficult, my body couldn't stop moving and my arms and legs would jolt out randomly (I occasionally have tics but this was completely different to any I've experienced before) and the tingling was almost unbearable. My vision was severely impaired at this point and I could hardly keep my eyes from shutting. My arms started to feel like the were seizing up into my chest like t-rex arms and at this point I was convinced I was having some sort of seizure. I had to get up again to have my bloods and an ECG taken. My body was out of control at this point and had severe tics and tremors. I mentioned to the nurse about being twitchy and he said he had noticed and asked if this was normal. I said it wasn't despite my tics (the first person also asked if my strange movements were normal and she seemed concerned when I was trying to explain my symptoms) so it was very obvious that something aside from a possible anxiety attack was happening.
Role forward my 6 hour wait to see a clinician. My symptoms had almost all disappeared entirely. The peak lasted around two hours and then very, very gradually faded over the next few hours.
I had my heart rate and blood pressure tested again and the nurse noted it was much better than last time. The clinician finally came in and asked me my symptoms (yet again) and how I was feeling and said I was obviously a lot better than, I'm guessing from what he had read about from earlier. He raised his eyebrows at a lot of the symptoms I described, especially the confusion and bodily movement and such. I asked if alcohol from the day before could have caused it and he said it would have likely happened at the time if it had anything to do with the reaction. I explained about having the anxiety and the car incident and obviously the next statement was "yeah, we can't be sure if what you experienced was anxiety or a reaction to your meds blah blah blah, im gonna do some typing up and then you're free to go, if this happens again, speak to your GP."
I felt pissed at this point because I knew it wasn't just an anxiety attack and resented that I hadn't been taken seriously despite the two staff members before seeing the state I was in. He was gone for around 15 mins and returned and seemed a bit concerned.
He had seen on my records that I had been prescribed Sertraline and asked if I was still taking them and if the GP was aware that I was taking them at the same time. He left again and atook another 15 to 20 to return. This time he was a lot more concerned and explained that some of my symptoms were typical for a dose change in Elvanse but that the confusion, involuntary body movements and such were extremely rare and that it could indicate that my medications are reacting to each other. He said to stop taking the 50mg and go back to 30mg and to speak to my GP ASAP about everything that happened. I asked if I should take them at separate times and he seemed shocked that I hadn't been told to take them separately and explained that I should definitely not take them at the same time as they'd both start kicking in at the same time and that when you can get concerning side effects.
He was very clear that mt GP needed to look into this and see if I should be taking them both at the same time and said if I start feeling extremely unwell, have a seizure or lose consciousness that I had to return to a&e straight away. He gave me my notes and said I should get some good rest.
It wasn't until after I got back from the hospital that I realised what had just happened and what he was alluding to. I don't know why he didn't just explain to me that I was at severe risk or had likely ust experiencing serotonin syndrome but it's very clear that that is what had occurred.
I feel quite upset that this was allowed to happen and that there wasn't enough safeguarding to minimise the danger of this happening. The clinic were fully aware that I was taking an SSRI and never even considered to tell me it would be better to take them at different times at least, never mind check that it was ACTUAL suitable for me properly. I'm annoyed that the clinic also didn't seem overly concerned when I spoke to them on the second day of this new dose or even picked up that I was at risk of serotonin syndrome.
To think that I could literally have died today if anything got any worse and it took 7 and a half hours in a&e for someone to finally take me seriously and realise it wasn't just a fucking anxiety attack.
Looking back the car incident was clearly to do with the medication taking effect too! Sorry that this was long and its probably grammatically terrible but I jist wanted to warn people about the terrifying dangers of mixing amphetamines and SSRI's. Question everything and do your own research because it's evident that they can just give these meds out like sweets and nearly kill people with them!
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ADHD
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What do you all think of this article. Yes, I've read books about this, and do have an opinion on this, but I'd like to see comments on this article. One BIG difference, I will say, is that I don't see narcissists with being very neurotic - or if they are it's merely more self-concern; on the other hand, aspies are really worried about hurting other people, and if other people are happy, and so forth. I hope that neuroticism isn't the only difference, but it does seem to possible, on first glance with reflection and some reading, seem to account for a big difference.
[https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201406/do-you-think-narcissism-autistic-spectrum-disorder](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201406/do-you-think-narcissism-autistic-spectrum-disorder)
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aspergers
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[Here's last week's Solitude Project Saturday](https://old.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/pdc3cb/solitude_project_saturday_what_projects_are_you/)
**So, /r/aspergers, what projects do you have on the go right now? Any ideas on the backburner for one reason or another? Any ideas just in the planning phase?** Even if you are working on them with someone else, they still apply here. If you can mention the interest that you have that relates to the project, that would be great; it may help others.
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aspergers
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I recently ended a friendship in favor of my own mental health. I still care about that person very much, but there are certain circumstances that can not be fixed. I accepted this, and I cut the person out of my life. My anxiety is lower now, but there are still times where I think about the situation. Yesterday all I could think about was "what would happen if I saw them? What would they say? Do they understand my choice?". I tried planning the situation out in my head and what to say but I started to panic. I was driving so I couldn't walk around. I talked out loud to myself trying to get thru it. I couldn't fully calm down until I made it to my destination. Growing up I felt like I would think to much. When it got worse I would think about death seeing that as the end to my difficult emotions. I know this isn't logical and I don't give into that impulsive thought. Is this an example of having intrusive thoughts? I've been diagnosed with OCD as well as Trichotillomania for years now. I just haven't had anyone struggling with OCD to talk with.
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OCD
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I'm sorry if someone has asked this before - I checked the pinned messages and didn't see it.
I was curious if anyone has attempted a diagnosis online since I've seen several of them. if so, what was your experience? was it worth it?
Most of them you have to pay to talk to someone or pay after submitting an online questionnaire for them to diagnose.
I just keep having people tell me they think I have ADHD but I've never been diagnosed. Although I've also never tried or asked. I would rather a professional tell me yes or no than random people who don't actually know. I know there's a lot more to it so I'm not really sure where to begin.
I apologize if this is out of line to ask, and thank you for for any help or suggestions.
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ADHD
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So, for some time now i have really struggle with a over the top amount of anxious thoughts when it comes to Covid-19. The slightest sighn of sickness or something like it tend to drive me anxious and its making things a bit complicated with work, seeing friends and family. At the time om having a bit of a soar throught and cough and even though i have taken a test (still waiting for results) i just cant easen my anxious thoughts. And this is a known pattern when it comes to accidens and sickness to me. Like the excessive amount of worrying thoughts. How do people tend to cope with this in general and now during the pandemic?
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ADHD
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There is no joy, no passion, no interests, no skills, no pleasure, no comradery. I am a husk. I haven't made a friend since highschool. Every interaction with such friends is forced and might as well not exist. What's keeping me from ending it all is that I am the sole observer afraid of the insanity of waking up from this lucid dream. Worse yet, experiencing the sufferering of time's asymptotes to the final moment of one's life. i am so scared. idle hand idle mind idle body is the devils playground work work work, eat eat eat, sleep sleep sleep. sorry friends this is only a joke. I've been waiting to get these thoughts off my mind for years but feared that the wrong people might read them. I feel free but nothing will come out of it. if only I could put blind faith in the country in the hospitals in the churches in the universities like everyone else. They are all the enemy and there is no one that would listen to what I have to say. sorry again. i onlt want some attention. i only want to be myself around another person. no one has seen the me when i am fully alone, and that is my favorite personality. No one would like them. sorry. sorry sorry. I guess our civilization is working exactly correct in that there is no place for someone that questions every institution. but i could never die. doomed to this looping existence. luckily i can feel consciousness fading. one day blending into the next, obvious reused scenarios no raising any eyebrows. lately my only goal is to rid myself of thought. only watching this reality as most do their feeds. how many of myself have i already killed. they never existed not remembered. im tired. i havent eaten in 10 hours that isnt that much, these last two days ive went about 20 hours before eating because i am scared of my roommates, and my new job only allows me a brief window home alone to eat. this has led to horrid binge eating, like a teenager to alcohol. i tried to purge for the first time this morning but couldn't. i should have jumped when i had the chance. it would have been the perfect finale to an amazing summer. now i am punished as everything since that day has gotten worse and worse and worse. i wish i could cry. this is the closest alternative.
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depression
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I’m in mobile sorry for bad format but:
When your friends are late to hanging out so you feel like your getting blown off because they don’t like you, even though you know they are coming eventually it feels like they aren’t going to come because they don’t like you. And then your all like no your being stupid and your brains like no they don’t like you and they’re late bc they have better things to do then hang out with you .
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ADHD
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it’s 3 am as i’m writing this because i’ve been up ruminating (man how classic). current themes are rocd and maybe real life ocd? and a bunch of others.
i have this obsession that everything about me feels like a dirty little secret that i have to confess. like everything. even if i thought something bad or if i think i thought something bad MONTHS ago 😐
i just feel really tired since this is the worst flare up i’ve had since like—2019.
i don’t really wanna share my intrusive thoughts because ik it won’t help me but does anyone else feel like EVERY NIGHT and MORNING without fail there always seems to be a rumination session???
it literally feels like i’m in a court case (or that’s how i describe it) it’s kinda like being the defendant, suspect, victim, prosecutor, AND the judge all at once ??? like damn where did all these thoughts come from i just wanna be happy 😭 but yeah i just had to let a bit of steam out and i hope all goes well for all of u ❤️
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OCD
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Please guys I need help
I (14,female) have thought I might have ocd for over two years. Ive never told anyone this except I think I wrote a comment on fcking pinterest once and that’s it. Shit really hit the fan with it in the past nine or so months and it is getting progressively worse all the time but overall I don’t have a very good idea of the timeline of my symptoms.
I had my annual physical a couple months ago and my mom thought my checking of locks/windows was weird, so she said I had to tell the doctor about it. It was really hard to talk about it and i was trying to bring up other repetitive behaviors and stuff I feel like could be possible ocd because she asked if I did anything else like checking locks. I couldn’t really form sentences and I was trying not to cry bc I didn’t know how to make it clear without sounding like I was self-diagnosing and it felt so personal and I’d never told anyone before so I didn’t know how to tell this random lady. I managed to tell her some of the stuff I do/used to do. Most of it just sounds SO STUPID I didn’t know how to say it and still don’t. She said I should have an appointment w the therapist they have for their doctors office. I don’t think this means she thinks I have ocd bc she probably recommends this to most patients as it’s not a bad idea in general. She did say “intrusive thoughts” though but I don’t know if that means anything.
I’ve got a virtual meeting with the therapist tomorrow. I need to know if I have OCD or not because it’s getting in the way of my life so much and I don’t know if I can take it much longer but I don’t know how to tell her and I don’t know if I really have it nor do I wanna sound like im self-diagnosing. Every time I try to tell someone I completely break and have no idea how. And it’s literally tomorrow afternoon and I have no idea what im going to say. I could totally be making it up and not have it but idk and im completely freaking out and I want to go to sleep now but I need advice please!!
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OCD
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Something scary happened tonight and I had the most awful panic attack I can ever remember, and I’ve had a lot. My trauma was 4 years ago… I thought I was doing better :( guess not
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ptsd
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Does anyone else get so anxious and so stressed out that they have constant muscle problems? Like back pain, arm pain, reoccurring knots (I get knots literally every single day)? For me, every day has become hard. I wanna get outside and get fresh air and move around to keep my anxiety at bay but it’s a chore because even just moving from the bed room to the living room is too hard. Does anyone else suffer this and what are you doing to get help for it if you are?
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ptsd
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I live in a miserable third world country.
For the past few weeks I have been making plans for my future, organising my life and things started to feel better and hopeful until I found out my plans only work if I were in a decent country, but no not in this shithole.
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depression
|
I haven’t seen a psychiatrist or therapist in years, but I just remember being diagnosed with OCD and ADHD and everybody tells me that it’s impossible that I have both. I do get very intrusive thoughts and I can’t focus on anything but my apartments a mess I come to work looking dainty make up done hair done and you can’t see the carpet in my apartment my whole life feels like a mess but I still work 80 hours a week. Do you think the diagnosis is wrong I don’t really have time to go to the doctor with my work schedule. Also Tik Tok is telling me that I might just be autistic so idk.
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OCD
|
I'm tired of working so hard to mask, having to put so much effort into things that come naturally to others. I'm tired of being in relationships with good people who love me only to throw them away cause I decide I'd rather be alone. I'm tired of my body language making people feel alienated, offending people without even realizing it. And to top it off i passed it onto my kid and now she has to spend her life dealing with this bullshit too.
If I could get a shot in my arm and not have to deal with this anymore, I'd do it. It would probably do wonders for my depression too.
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aspergers
|
The past 6 months have been sheer hell. I’m actively in PTSD thanks to asshole neurotypicals. I need some love to start healing
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aspergers
|
Hello everyone. I was the one with the post recently named “coping with my diagnosis”. I recently had a distressing talk with both of my parents, where I thought they believed me, they were questioning if it even is molestation if there isn’t sexual intent??? Just crossed boundaries maybe? Please give me sources if you have them that say the person doesn’t have to get off for it to be molestation. I don’t know what to do and I feel super guilty or like I’m lying now.
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ptsd
|
I had posted this on r/ocd a few days ago.
I am a monster. I am in treatment for OCD for 1.5 months now. But I have days where my bad side still shows up. I am a medical student. 21F. Today I was in the OT and we were wearing scrubs. The scrubs were low necked. We were all standing close to each other and I noticed that my arm nudged someone's boob. I didnt make a big deal cuz we were crowding. However I apologized. Then it nudged someone else's boob. I apologized. She said "its ok". Then I thought I am a monster cuz such things dont happen by mistake. Then everytime I went closer I would hope my boob would touch their arm or shoulder to see their reaction. I would also stare at others to see if this was happening. Idk I was filled with so much anxiety. I kinda molested them didn't I?
.
.
.
●Now I remember: I did go close to them and touched my boob to their arm and they didnt react and I felt relieved from anxiety. But isnt that equal to molesting them?
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OCD
|
I have been in a deep depression all my life. At the age 39 I am confronted to the idea that I would never be happy or "normal". I pretty much tried all treatment but nothing worked.
Have any one of you tried the ketamine protocol when it comes to depression. I know it is fairly new but I keep reading that the people who are part of the study find their life improving drastically. Is it your case ?
Take care of yourself.
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depression
|
After a long struggle with severe depression to the point where I was contemplating whether to live or just end it all...I finally got it under control..I’m still depressed but I see the light and my therapist agreed that he is seeing progress. I feel good after a long long time
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depression
|
So I have two parents with mental illness, my mother with PTSD who was a police officer and my father with Alcoholism and substance abuse disorder.
My mother recently decided to steal my dog and continuously talks about me and my personal mental illness struggles(suicidal ideation,etc) to my siblings and dad to the point where no one in my family wants to talk to me anymore. She is like the queen bee that always has to have her way.
My parents are divorced by the way yet she still has a hold over my dad because he is still in love with her even though he couldn’t quit drinking or gambling or smoking or any of his issues for our family.
Most recently, my mom decided to steal my dog from me after having her babysit him for a week and told me not to come to her house anymore because I’d be trespassing so I can’t even see my dog. Told me if I want him back I’d need to take her to court (so in the process of this now- really didn’t want to do it but had no other choice). I adopted him and have all the paperwork and the cops in the area won’t help me get him back because she’s also a cop even though she’s not allowed to work anymore until Cleared by a psychologist which I think is unlikely to happen.
She consistently blames all dysfunction in the family on my BPD which was likely caused by family issues so it just seems like a never ending blame game in my family.
Is there any hope for this situation? I recently saw some texts pop up on my dads phone and it was unlocked so I honestly invaded privacy to see what was going on behind my back and the things my mom was saying about me were devastating. Accusing me of not being able to foster healthy relationships, etc, basically anything you’ll google on BPD that’s negative she’ll throw at other people and me to hurt me somehow.
I really don’t know what to do anymore, seems like a lost cause.
Is this normal behaviour for parents to bash their kids to their kids faces and to each other and get siblings in on anything.
Right now my mom has convinced everyone in the family that the dog is better off with her and I’m once again the bad guy because I’m suing her for the dog back.
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ptsd
|
I was chopping some food and I accidentally sliced my finger quite badly (I’m a clumsy person) and it bled quite a lot. OCD told me to cut the same finger in the other hand to even it up. Horrible compulsion, I’ve never had it with stuff like that and it’s usually just touching stuff to even it up. Then the cut didn’t feel like I had put enough pressure on it whilst cutting it and so I did it harder. Now I have two bloody fingers and a really red chopping board. I can’t find any plasters and I’m trying some grounding techniques (well I was before writing this post) to prevent a panic attack. The worst part is I was actually trying to take a small step in overcoming my harm ocd (triggered by sharp objects like knives) by cutting up an onion for my dinner tonight. This disorder is the worst thing I’ve ever known. IT RUINS EVERYTHING. (By the way this is just a venting post, no one has to reply.)
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OCD
|
I feel that I need to confess. I'm actually extremely scared because I feel like I did something terribly wrong, and that maybe I've been fucked in the head from very beginning.
Was it normal for a child of 11 years of age to feel "arousal" when seeing something sexual? It sounds so wrong when I say it now but that's what I experienced when I was 11. This has nothing to do with SA, but I do recall a few occasions where my father was watching inappropriate stuff on tv and I was curious, so when he wasn't looking I would peek to see what he was watching. I admit I felt....something? I'm not sure if what I felt was arousal but it was something.
The memory of these things happening came to me because I've still been struggling with disgusting intrusive thoughts. And I was trying to figure out why exactly. What trauma did I experience as a child that it's now affecting me to this extent? But remembering this feeling, and the age I was when I felt it only made me feel more gross and guilty.
There was this other occasion when I was 14 and I felt that my arousal had become more apparent as I began developing crushes on some of the boys at my school. I just dismissed it as something about puberty back then, but thinking about now, it makes me feel dirty. Like I wasn't supposed to be feeling this way.
Someone please tell me I have every right to feel ashamed so I can at least feel like I've recognized my mistakes. I'm so tired of feeling so damn guilty all the time. I just want this to end.
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OCD
|
I've always thought that my boyfriend mother has been very similar to the behavior of my abusive father. But, I always brushed it off because I figured she would never behave to the full extent in front of me. I've heard stories from my boy friend about how she has controlled him through the years and suffocated him with her control to the point of severe depression. She took him to therapy and spoke for him the whole time. She had the therapist make him a schedule that she approved and forced him to follow. He was only allowed to do school and therapist/mother approved activities.
She in more recent years yells at him to do chores the minute she says it even if he's in the bathroom it doesn't matter.
I've never liked her but always respected her to keep peace. I always assumed if I kept up that behavior it would be fine, but today I realized I was wrong.
My Bf and I came home from rock climbing and where starving so we where excited and thankful that his mother had made rice. The only problem is it had cilantro in it and I don't like cilantro. However I didn't want to say anything because I wanted to be a good guest. My bf knowing I don't like cilantro started suggesting alternative meals. Once his mother heard this she started yelling about how "We should be grateful for her for providing for us" and just eat the rice. Once the shouting started I was immediately teleported back to being a child where my abusive father was yelling at me the exact same phrase as he tried to force feed me food, after I told him I was full, he'dthen raise his hand and hit me. I felt like I would collapse, so I ran to my bfs room and laid in bed frozen. Once I was sure I could suppress my panic attack I went back to the kitchen and told my bf I was leaving. My bf walked me to my car and the minute I left his house I broke down. I almost collapsed to the floor and was in tears. He comforted me until I felt safe to drive and I explained every thing to him.
I just feel so ashamed for letting this happen to me. I felt helpless and scared after teaching myself how to be brave for so long. I'm terrified this will happen again but rn his parents house is the only place we can really spend time together. My house is overcrowded and I share a room. His house is much bigger and easier to be alone in. I just feel lost and scared that this will be a regular occurrence.
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ptsd
|
Hi, I was recently "diagnosed" as an adult(25) and have been on meds for a few months now.
Initially, I really enjoyed having the diagnosis because I found a lot of information and it made SO MUCH MORE SENSE with past actions and whatnot.
But my psych is...only okay? I sorta just...told her I thought I had it and she was like sure okay, and we talked about a few meds(trying concerta now after Adderall made my brain feel like it was screaming constantly). And my therapist is great with the anxiety and depression and childhood trauma, but definitely doesn't understand a lot of aspects of the ADHD, like the executive dysfunction part of it.
I also read about how hard it is for some people to get a diagnosis, and so that just makes it feel less true for me somehow? I know it doesn't make sense, but my diagnosis was handed to me so it must not be as "real" as it is for people who have to "work" for it. Again, I know that sounds silly, but it's how my brain thinks about it sometimes.
Thanks for reading my ramble, have a good day friends!
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ADHD
|
Hey! So, I'm not looking for advices, but I want to hear from you fine folks how do you get stuff done ?
I am very lucky to have V.E.R.Y. flexible work hours, and most of the days I feel like crap and don't get anything done. Maybe once a week I feel like working on something and I might work 15-20 hours, or like 3 hours and go do something else.
How do you get out of the "well, I'll just wait to die...", And actually be a somewhat productive person?
Have a nice weekend!
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ptsd
|
it makes me so upset that its evitable that ill lose my mind, I was fearing hearing voices and now its actually happened. I hear like whispers no distinct words all day, im not sure its background, but its concerning enough though I cant believe this has actually happened its not fair. Can this still be ocd or is it definitely schizophrenia now
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OCD
|
(I'm not sure I've got adhd, but my whole life I've been inattentive to a worrying degree, where I can't focus even if I'm literally looking someone in the eyes, and they're explaining something. My old teachers used to say an ant walking on a table could get me distracted)
Does anyone, when doing something that involves tracking/counting till you reach the end. Say, making a smoothie. When the recipe says 10 tbsps, I always have to add/count till five tbsps and then add five again, it feels so much faster, it feels like time's slow af when counting the normal way, and I've been doing this with everything, if I count normally it feels like I'm going in slow no and I just can't continue
|
ADHD
|
Hey! I just got diagnosed in September as an adult. I always suspected I had ADHD and my mom probably has it too. I did the self diagnosis sheet with my doctor 7 years ago but finally went through a specialized clinic to get diagnosed with an education coach, psychologist and psychiatrist to make sure I really have ADHD and not something else. I was relieved that it wasn’t bi polar tbh. Turns out it’s just cycling between inattentive & hyperactive ADHD.
The clinic recommended I get a prescription through my family doctor but recommended either concerta or vyvanse. My family doctor suggested concerta at first so I brought up vyvanse. He basically said flip a coin, so I chose vyvanse kind of randomly. He started me on the “baby dose” of 20mg for 2 weeks just to try it out. Apparently he starts kids on 10mg, so he gave me one step up from that. I felt an immediate difference on 20mg, like a switch flipped and suddenly I could \*ACTUALLY SIT AT A DESK!!!!\* but it only lasted until 2pm. And towards the end of my 2 week prescription fill, it basically stopped working. I found it very hard to initiate tasks and stick with tasks.
So I switched to 30mg of vyvanse and got a month dose. Again, I felt an immediate difference, was able to confidently even purchase an actual desk and desk accessories because I could actually sit still without feeling annoyed! I was also able complete things quickly. But I also realized my heart rate was up by 10bps (I track my heart rate on my Apple Watch) since starting with Vyvanse. I also couldn’t run mid-day when the meds were at their highest effect. Now I’m running out of my month-long dose of the 30mg, can run mid-day again and I’ve felt like it’s not as effective as it was in the beginning.
This has me wondering if you develop a tolerance on vyvanse? Should I stick with the 30mg or should I up my dose? The clinic gave me a workbook on meds and it said to keep upping your dose until you feel anxious. I told this to my friend who’s a pharmacologist and he said it’s typical for psychiatrists to push more meds. He said normally the medical community is looking for the lowest effective dose. I guess it’s just hard to determine “what is effective”.
Also, is it worthwhile to try concerta just to see if I like it better? Anyone have experiences of switching from Vyvanse to Concerta? How do you guys determine what‘s the right med for you? And how do you know when you should up or lower your dosage?
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ADHD
|
I recently got an email from my boss saying we need to have a meeting about my attendance issues. I'm honestly freaking out. I have really bad time blindness, and it makes it near impossible to get anywhere on time. I don't want to make excuses to my boss, but I genuinely have no idea what to say to her. I'm genuinely working on trying to get better, but I don't know if that's enough. She said she wants to meet to see if there's anything they can do, so it seems to come from a place of concern. However, I still have really bad anxiety over this.
I truly have no idea why I wrote this, and I'm sorry it's all over the place. I guess I needed to tell people who may understand. I kind of want to quit just so I don't have to deal with this, but I love my job and I need it so I know I won't.
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ADHD
|
PTSD, depression, and relationships. Why do these 2 things makes relationships harder?
My life has been put on hold in the last year, I’m doing the best I can and I can’t do anymore until I get help.
But, I’m not like potential partners think of me. I’ve never had a relationship, been kissed, or anything of that nature.
I had a rough childhood and I’ve had a rough 2019 up until this point. I’ll be judged as if I’m your typical 21 year old who’s figuring out how life works as if I’m the same as everyone else but what you can’t see is how I was raised and just what is happening to me.
I go completely mute sometimes for example, I just feel and know I’m having the backward experience at this age or a different one any partner who comes my way is going to think something is wrong with me, again. They run before they take the time to get to know me. Why?
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ptsd
|
About three months ago i was prescribed Vyvanse for my ADD. The results on my work and studies has been great!
But i do experience some frustrating side effects. I get a nervous/anxious feeling in my body, which hinders my ability to socialise. Also I don’t really feel like talking to people at all. (especially at work). This is not really normal for me.
Another downside is that after about 5 hours after dosage, I loose my focus and become tired.
I’ve been reading peoples comments here, saying that Vyvanse is way less anxiety-inducing than methylphenidate. Could it be worth a shot anyways?
I’m really curious about hearing your stories, if you’ve had similar problems/situation like me.
>!Sorry for my bad grammar! /adhd-swede!<
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ADHD
|
I obsessively think about the past and memories of my childhood and teen years, and I regret a lot of things I did. I often have intrusive thoughts about embarrassing or offensive things I did as a kid or bad things that happened to me, and I wish it would stop but it doesn’t. I regret a lot of things I did in school that made people think I’m weird and avoid being my friend. When I was 12, I used to obsess over my friends I had in 5th grade and people I knew back in elementary school, because we moved to the suburbs and that had a large impact on my life. My life didn’t feel the same when we moved away, and I stopped doing a lot of things I used to love, except drawing, painting, etc. because that makes me happy. My mom used to get angry at me for obsessing over the past or anything in general.
Does anyone else relate?
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OCD
|
I really need advice. I don’t think I have OCD but I have some patterns and thoughts that could align with it so I’m posting here because I just need help.
I started a new job a little over a month ago. And there is a coworker of mine who the moment I saw I thought “oh he is really really pretty/attractive”. And since then I’ve just mentally latched onto him. And I’ve done this two other times with two other guys.
Now the reason I use the word “obsessed” is because it goes further then: thinking about him all the time, fantasizing scenarios with them, and being nervous around them. I get significant anxiety and stress around the idea of being near or speaking to this person and yet I unintentionally try to be near them when I can. I am constantly, CONSTANTLY searching for them and are on guard for them. This guy… I check for his name on the schedule all the time, everyday to see if and when he’ll be there and when his breaks are. Even though I know he goes outside for his breaks I am always nervous he’s gonna walk into the break room if I’m on break. When we closed the store the other day and were walking out the building I was thinking “okay which is his car. is he gonna hold the door open for me. oh I have to catch up to him he walks faster than me. He’s parked pretty close if I play loud music maybe he’ll notice me” and my mind is moving a mile a minute thinking about him and what could happen. I am always looking at him when working and constantly wondering if he’s looking at me. It makes me very insecure about myself and the way that I look.
I don’t know if they’re intrusive thoughts. I know they’re not me. They make me feel disgusting that I’m obsessing so much over just a guy I don’t even know. And the worst part of it is that I don’t even want to date him. I really really don’t want a relationship or anything. I just want to believe it when I say “he’s just my coworker and he’s pretty and that’s that”.
I thought of some things I could do to help me with my therapist (like not checking his social media, not looking for him on the schedule, reminding myself he’s just a coworker) but nothing helps me because I’m always looking for him. Always. I just wish I didn’t. I just wish there was an off switch to this. But it’s like when I had that first thought I dug myself into a hole and now I’m burying myself deeper everyday.
Last time this happened (about a year ago) where I had these same thought and behaviour patterns with a guy, he was a coworker as well and I ended up quitting the job and having a panic attack so bad I thought I had to go to the hospital. I’ve never told anyone these thoughts because I am too embarrassed and humiliated that I think these things.
I feel like trying to say affirmations and telling myself things and making sense of the situation isn’t going to help but is that all I can do?
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OCD
|
Ive never really thought about using these things. I was thinking more along the lines of some stim toys, earphones or weighted blankets.
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aspergers
|
Does depression make me look at myself differently or see myself as physically worse than i am?
When i look in the mirror i see myself but feel terrible about my physical appearance and criticise myself. I feel overweight but yet I’m told i look too skinny for my age. But because i feel this way i stopped eating which I’m not sure if it is because of depression or what, I’m not sure
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depression
|
A friend was getting mad at me because I wasn't taking something that's not a big deal seriously. He's on my family plan so I turned off explicit songs for him just to mess around. He got very upset with me and I was just being sarcastic when he was beign so serious about it. Then he said something and I told him to not be mad about the past and he said well "I'm really not I got over it, I think it's you who hasn't I guess?" Hes referring to me liking him and being gay.
Yes I may be still at the fact you shunned and belittled me when I came out and I may be mad at the fact that we butted heads instead of working out stuff. I may be hurt and very upset at the fact my supposed best friend did all that to me. I getting being frustrated because I liked you but to not like being around me because im gay is really scummy. I still can't accept that I'm gay and I really hate being gay all because he made M feel the way I did. I can and I will forgive you but I can not forget what you told me and I would hope it's the same for him because I wasn't perfect twords him either I said and did some mean shit too. I just miss our old friendship like in middle school or before I came out.
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aspergers
|
There are so many low quality, repetitive meme posts. So many "f$&# OCD" posts, and it's hard to sift through it all.
I get that people like to be able to just vent and express themselves, but these posts do not contribute to strengthening the OCD community.
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OCD
|
My GP said since I have some subjects in university where I can excel, I can't have ADHD. The reasoning being ADHD is a pervasive problem that affects all of your concentration ability.
In addition, he said, since I don't exhibit physical symptoms, I must not have ADHD.
I'm not sure if I'm qualified to deny his opinion, but I can't help to not think I should seek a real psychologist's opinion. What should I do next?
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ADHD
|
I’m pry gonna kms soon, but I don’t wanna die. I wanna be happy but my family makes me feel worthless and when I finally kms, I hope their happy with what they did by ignoring me all the time or making fun of me and putting me down. They will say shit like ‘suicidal bitch’ or ‘fat bitch kys’. I jus need someone to talk to before it’s too late
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depression
|
Hello,
I'm trying to write this very carefully, I know the group has rules specifically about medical advice, but I'm trying to get my PTSD back under control again. I can't really handle it through exercise because of an injury, and going back on medication isn't an option.
I've used low THC Indica cannabis joints to handle things when it gets bad, but it's expensive. I'm thinking about trying drops or sprays to see if it ends up being more affordable, but I'm not too sure about how to take or how much, or how often.
I wanted to ask about people's experiences with the oils, and sprays, I know it might be hard to not violate the community rules on this, if anyone had any advice, or even any links or other information I'd really appreciate it.
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ptsd
|
Hello I’m a female high schooler with ADHD, dyslexia, anxiety, and more. And I can’t get through a lesson of any type of school without getting distracted, any suggestions on how to stay focused so I can get better grades and get my school done faster?
I am failing most of my classes and I’m behind in most of my classes too. And I spend all day doing school.
I am out of ideas.
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ADHD
|
22M. Too be honest, as a kid i was always powerless or at least told i was, at home and at school. But 3 years ago starting from March all the way to August was when i felt powerless as an adult. I was 18 soon turning 19 when i had a stalker. I tried being friendly with them and i truly wanted to help them, but things turned bad really fast. Whenever i tell this story now people are quick to say how i should've been able to stop them since i'm a male and bigger, but of course it's not that simple. I felt so powerless, and when it was over i really thought it would just go away but it never did. A later year i started having frequent panic attacks and flashbacks whenever i saw someone that looked like them. I would check my car before i get in it and it was impossible to sleep at night. I've been like this ever since and while i feel like this the rest of the year to some degree it's the strongest March through August. Whenever i do try to sleep i have nightmares and i start to feel like i'm out of my body. Everything hits me so hard at once (memories,etc.) that sometimes i find myself saying, "ah! please, stop. Get out of my head. Get out of my head" (I've never told anyone that). It's hard to talk about this with my friends because i don't want to burden them with all this (they know, but i try not to talk about it) and it's especially hard now trying to meet new people because i'm so terrified of having something like that happen all over again. Which has lead me to sabotage new relationships/friendships.
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ptsd
|
I'm in a bit of a stressed mood so I'm gonna rant for a bit
Man sometimes asperger's is really frustrating to deal with vocally. As if it wasn't already hard enough for me to speak, my voice literally gets muffled whenever I have a mask on making it even harder than it already was. Also for some reason, it's hard for me to get my message across without the other person getting offended. Like don't assume I'm being rude when I'm just struggling to string my words together. Why can't a NT world be more caring of us for once?
Rant over
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aspergers
|
Is this ptsd, and if so does it seem bad enough to warrant me talking to my doc bout it.
(Tw: family member death, talk of suicide and addiction)
The last 5 years have been really crap for me. 2015 I lost my maternal aunt to suicide, a week after her estranged husband died of cirrhosis of the liver. Both were alcoholics.
11 months after my aunt passed a good friend of mine committed suicide.
At the time I was so shocked by his sudden passing I withdrew from friends and even broke up with my girlfriend at the time cause I wanted to be left alone. I wanted to process everything.
Now my aunts suicide really messed me up. I'm 25 and still not over it. It shocked me so bad at the time i had no emotional reaction for 4 months (i saw a pic of her and broke down sobbing)
Certain things trigger extreme emotional responses or cause me to get panic attacks. The smell of coconut,sunscreen,tanning oil make me remember her but then I remember how she died and how she probably suffered before passing.
I've had moments in stores where I'll see a doppelganger and it freaks me out.
I cant be around drunks or partys involving alcohol it also causes panic attacks.
Like I'm not sure if this is ptsd or I'm just an anxious person
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ptsd
|
Just to preface I'd like to say I respect everyone's opinion and I hope to offend no one with what I'm about to say, if you are going to try to change my opinion on monogamy and boundaries, please don't.
For the past 3.5 months, I've had a cuckold OCD episode and I feel like all my boundaries in terms of relationship and monogamy are not emotionally backed anymore. For example, I've never been cheated on, but I've imagined the feeling and it was one of pain and humiliation, but now it's more like a meh feeling. I've never wanted threesomes or anything like that, I only wanted and masturbated to the idea of monogamous, two-party intercourse, I was never interested in non-monogamous sex of any kind. But now the same repulsion against non-monogamy isn't there, I feel that I might try, although morally I disagree with it, I would never want anyone to have intercourse or be sexual with my SO, but I don't feel the same repulsion to the idea as I did in the past. Sometimes I feel confused like I have the boundaries, but I don't at the same time. In the past if I imagined getting cheated on it was a hurtful feeling, now it's like meh. It feels like I don't care about morals I held in the past about relationships, such as standards and boundaries. I always looked down on, for lack of better words, (no offense please) people who had cuckold fetishes or were polygamous, or anything like that. Can someone explain if this is a part of the OCD theme that I am having or something else?
I've been noticing this lack of boundaries ever since the OCD episode began, just in case, I wasn't clear.
For those who don't know: Cuckold OCD: Fear that I'll enjoy watching my SO being intimate with others.
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OCD
|
Hello dear Redditors,
currently I am in a strange situation:
I am using a App for writing electronic letters to people from all over the world, for finding friends. The App is awesome. But now there are two girls, who fell in love with me.
The first girl fell in love with me pretty quickly. Do not ask me why - I do not know. We know us for 5 months now. Only had contact via this specific App so far. Unfortunately I gave her my real world address for real world parcel exchange.
And the second one is a pen pal I now know for 1.5 years. During this time we also started to write us over Instagram and WhatsApp. She started to fall in love with me recently. I guess it was, because I was telling her one night how much I like her... because I was quite depressed and just wanted to let her know that tiny little information.
And to make things worse they are both living on the other side of the planet, and we are having a pandemic right now. So: no traveling - even if I would be psychological able to do that. I would like to meet both of them, then I could decide more easily... Meanwhile I try not to like both of them too much. My heart has already broken so many times.
For the last days I am now constantly thinking about: who would be a better match for me. Or none of them? At the moment I can only add up and compare the advantages and disadvantages of both women... but I know: that does not work that way, because feelings and all that stuff. And one day I have to deceide, and I am afraid of hurting one of them, because both are so awesome.
Hope you can understand and the text does make sense. English is not my mother tongue. Life and love advice is welcome.
This is so confusing. 😔
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aspergers
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i have had ocd since i was in 1st or 2nd grade. i went through compulsions around that age and with therapy they stopped being persistent. i thought that my ocd went away because i wasn’t having compulsions. i didn’t find out until this november(i’m 18 now) that there is another form of ocd known as obsessions. this was very difficult for me to hear because for the past 8 or so years i thought everything i was thinking was normal, and now i don’t know what is ocd and what is considered “normal” thinking, or non ocd thoughts. it’s hard for me to even think of what i do because i have ocd due to the fact that i genuinely thought everything i did was what everyone else was doing. i’ve noticed that i will do things even if i don’t want to in fear that if someone was there and they were watching me they would judge me for making the decision i want to. for example if i’m listening to music and i imagine ppl in my car i would change the music because i feel like they wouldn’t like that song/type of music. i will like a post or a tiktok on fear that i would be judged for not liking it. for instant if i see a gay person pop up my feed my mind will say “if you don’t like that you’re homophobic.” it’s exhausting and i thought everyone did that. i also have noticed i look for validation in what i’m doing because my brain tells me i do everything wrong. i need that reassurance because without it i will think about what i did over and over again wondering if i messed up and what consequences i would have if it is wrong. whatever someone tells me i think they’re automatically lying, and when i reassure myself of something i don’t believe it, and ruminate on that thought for a long time. when i go to stores and i’m there for over 20 or 30 minutes i think that everyone around me is talking bad about me and judging me. even though i know it sounds totally insane i still believe it. no matter what anyone says. i don’t like being in big groups in fear that people are judging me. if someone asks me something that happened or asking me about something or a question i will say something and then say “ i think at least” or something around there because i go against myself and think that what i’m thinking is wrong or didn’t happen. i question myself about doing tasks by saying “did i actually do that? “are you sure you did that” and i get nervous because i don’t know if they actually happened or i’m making it up. does anyone else experience these types of things? these are a few that i realized probably are not normal, does anyone else experience things similar to these? i feel like i’m going crazy.
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OCD
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Hey
I have been wondering about this for quite some time as I have gotten a lot of dopamine & euphoria while being very athletic before.
What do you think?
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aspergers
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Can movies spark PTSD?? I’m a two time cancer survivor. I’ve been in remission for 3 1/2 years. The past couple of years I’ve had really bad anxiety and a little depression, but I’m on meds for it and it’s helping. Anyways, the other day I watched a movie that dealt with someone with cancer. I swear to god, ever since i watched that movie.. I’ve had flashbacks, scary as hell nightmares, and overall been sort of angry. I can’t tell if it’s bc of this coronavirus going around. I haven’t left my house in two weeks because I live in a hotspot area. Maybe I’m going insane and need to go outside more haha but I thought I could ask some people. Thanks
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ptsd
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*title is meant to say “difference IN motivation”*
so my sister has depression. i suspect i have adhd, but my doctor said you “can’t just randomly get it one day” so he treated me for depression instead.
anyways, my sister’s trouble with assignments is that she just doesn’t care. however, when she’s doing them, she’s able to focus and get them done quickly.
my trouble with assignments is that i cannot focus. it takes me so long. as soon as i write one sentence, there goes my train of thought. however, i really care. i want to succeed, i want to learn, and i want to be able to complete them.
does that make sense? the reason she procrastinates is because she just doesn’t care, and the reason i procrastinate is because it’s too overwhelming for me?
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ADHD
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I am a university student. I study biochemistry and am minoring in computer science. So I have to be on it all the time. I am prescribed 20mg XR that I take every day and 2 20 mg IR that is as needed. I caught covid in the middle of the semester. It was horrible couldn't grind like I normally can. I am used to doing school work for at least 9-14 hours a day. when I contracted the virus I was lucky if I could do 2-4 hrs of work. I would have to take over the 60 mg allotted amount. Then when I finally recovered and could return to school I was behind. and suffering from covid fatigue. and I finally went back down to the 60 mg allotted doseage but it took forever. how should I work my way back down to just the 20 IR? Should I tell my Dr what happened she knows I had covid and she also knows I don't abuse my meds.
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ADHD
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I recently realized my plan is probably selfish and I don't know what to do now. I'm 26, a guy, bisexual, and a virgin (my only relationship ended in a clusterfuck on my 21st birthday) I had decided that I was/maybe still am going to kill myself if I feel this alone and hadn't had a partner or have a partner by the time I'm 28. I'm really tired of being alone and I'm just so emotionally tired and depressed. I realized that I'm being selfish and possibly hurting even more people than I would otherwise if I start dating and I fail to find someone, like if I somehow manage to find a date and it doesn't work out and they find out that I killed myself that's another person I will hurt and I don't want that. I don't want to hurt anyone which I know that my family and friends will already be hurt (my sister is at this point the only reason I'm even sticking around this long) I just don't know if I can deal with this beyond 2 more years and I don't know what to do.
I don't want to be so alone and I don't want to hurt anymore but I also don't want to hurt other people.
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depression
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Okay so, I really want to work out some specific trauma memories and things, but I feel like so much of the treatment I need relies on a trusted individual being in the room with me and creating a safe/calming space. Is anyone else having this feeling?
It’s also horrible that therapy isn’t more accessible. I just went back to school to finish my degree, and I’m freaking out because I feel like I wasted my opportunity at having free, accessible therapy. I just couldn’t open up at all via zoom.
(I’m also in Ontario, so I am extremely privileged to have healthcare. But healthcare, both physical and mental, should be free and available for ALL. But also, Ontario isn’t opening up anytime soon, so I’m just an ameba, floating in jello).
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ptsd
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Hello, does anyone have any experiences with nicotine? Does it help OCD? I've read a couple of papers on the topic and it seems that nicotine might help OCD.
(Please don't start smoking tobacco after reading this, there are other, significantly safer ways to get nicotine, like chewing gums or vapes)
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OCD
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I met many ASD people who were very reserved about this topic and claimed it was not interesting to them, just to find out years later (we stayed friends) that they’re actually sex freaks and they love sex and even more kinky or bdsm stuff. - and that’s great, everyone should embrace their sexuality, whether it’s asexual or super sexual.
How is it in your case?
Do you enjoy to watch porn or even have sex?
Or are you ashamed to reveal your thoughts to your partner?
Is sex not appealing to you?
Or do you do it just with a person you have feelings for?
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aspergers
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For people who have tried inositol, what were your experiences? Were there some serotonin type side effects, like the emotional blunting and numbness? I'm asking about inositol specifically because i have some but I haven't been sure about taking it yet.
I started meds a couple of months ago that help with motivation and they've let me be able to watch TV and go on walks and wash my face. But of course my OCD and social phobia have been a little aggravated by it.
I don't want to give up being able to experience emotions and do things but I went on a walk today and decided I need to do something about it. I couldn't stop looking behind me as I always do to see if anyone's around. I try really hard to not do it but I don't feel in control of it. That hovering fear cloud makes the walk a lot more exhausting and unenjoyable.
Of course I experience other aspects of OCD but this one has just been bothering me because it's more in the way and bothersome instead of blinking or the other small in the background compulsions.
Plus I think it merges with my social phobia because I always feel like someone is watching me and thinking I'm weird in public, even if there's nobody in sight, and I worry when people see me looking all around they'll think I'm on meth.
I saw a Facebook post where someone said something like "what's with all the methheads in downtown?" Because they see them when they're out walking and I guess my OCD got caught on it even though I've never done meth. Probably because I was a little unnerved by the confirmation that people definitely see me when I go on walks. :/ Really wish I had like a super long empty road where no people are allowed and nobody can see me and I could walk all I want on it!!
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OCD
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So I might soon be on meds, and it scare me, because I have a lot of ideas (i.e. two words in a homework gave me the whole plot for a book), I even started a project (just started) because I was daydreaming.
The sad part, and you know it well, is that I can't continue these projects, sometimes even forget about them. I'm intelligent, and I could realise them, but I fear that taking meds (Concerta or Vyvanse, I live in France) will shut down this imaginative part *what I consider to be part* of my personality.
So if you are under ANY medication, please let me know how it changed you on that point, have you been able to realise some projects or does it supress most of these good ideas ?
Thank you very much in advance, I really need your experience before taking any meds.
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ADHD
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I was reflecting today on OCD, I have issues mainly with intrusive thoughts that I find morally repugnant. I’m in my 30s and have had them since my early teens, but have more insight into and agency over them now. I use mindfulness meditation a lot to help, and I was thinking about my upbringing and wondering about the roots of my faulty beliefs about thinking. We went to a high Anglican Church and followed a liturgy, part of which is etched in my mind ‘we have sinned against You and against our fellow men, in thought, and word, and deed, through negligence, through weakness, through our own deliberate fault. We are truly sorry and repent of all our sins.’ It got me wondering if high anglicans would have higher incidences of ocd and Buddhists lower?! Hard to know! Would love anybody else’s thoughts, without intending to turn this into a religious bunfight
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OCD
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I just feel like everything would be so much better with me not here. I'm about to be homeless. My kids are with my mother and she uses them against me. She uses the covid excuse and yet she goes shopping, gets her nails done, gets all this money for the kids cause she has them but doesn't spend the money on them....... they got a sbit load of toys that have been un opened... I just feel like I cause people stress. I feel like me being gone could solve so much. But my dad killed himself at the age of 33 and I am currently 33..... he was a mechanic so he knows not to keep garage door shut with a car running and that's what he did. My son is 1 yr younger than I was when he killed himself and all I can do is cry when I think of his face when my mom has to tell him the same thing that she had to tell me when I was younger. I just keep seeing his face and crying and I just can't do it. But I just have no hope, no motivation., no love for life. I haven't has sex with my wife in months, water is shut off at the place we stay, cause of our assholr room mate putting the water in his name and then stop paying it. I just don't feel like my future is headed in the right place. I have 11 days to get out of my place of living and no where to go. Spent a lot of money apps to get into places and nothing. Just get turned down. I just feel like going to the gun shop n pulling the trigger in the shooting range. I'm sorry this is so long no it'd just how I feel right now. I'm prolly just going to end up cutting my self... again... idk...
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depression
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Dose anyone here use them? I do I have one called dexter!! Also if you do have one do you find it’s not really a toy more like an animal that’s real.
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aspergers
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I know we all like to write/talk, and we all hate to read/listen. So here’s the rub:
One of my best ADHD fidgets has been checking my phone for the time. But since I started taking Adderall, I’m finding I fidget a whole lot less! So now I never know what time it is. What gives?! I used to always be late, but now I’m always running suuuper late!
Oh, well… two steps forward and one step back. Thanks for reading my newest pet peeve, love you all! Take care of yourselves and SET ALARMS!!!
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ADHD
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So, I have nightmares all the time anymore. The issue is, is that they cause one of two things. Either I can't sleep and end up sleep deprived OR my alarm can't wake me up from them so I end up missing classes. Has anyone else encountered this? Is there anyway to ensure I wake up on time? It really sucked today because I didn't get a chance to study for my exam, missed 10 points from an in class discussion and forgot to bring my lab so I have to turn it in late and lose MORE points.
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ptsd
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EDIT: tysm to everyone giving advice but I'm mostly just ranting about being confused about when we decided velcro shoes are for kids haha, I use laces and I'm mostly used to undoing them now and I even found slip-ons that kind of work when my back is okay so I'm good in terms of shoe ideas personally
Except for the person who suggested heelys, those are simultaneously a great idea and a terrible, terrible idea and those are the best kinds of great ideas
--
Let's face it, almost none of us reliably tie and untie our shoes every time. With a lot of shoes that damages the back of the shoe both visibly and in terms of comfort. I need supportive shoes to put my insoles in because I have flat feet and that causes all sorts of issues, so my shoes tend to have relatively high backs so that my ankle is fully supported even after the extra lift.
Velcro would make this so easy. I know some companies make those stretchy or magnetic laces, but with those you can adjust them to keep them tight. Velcro you can pull to the exact tension you want and just fasten down. Three straps are enough to separately configure the front, middle and back of the arch while still not constantly coming loose (and if they do, it's really one second to do them back up).
I just wish they were a thing, that it was socially acceptable and that people made actual decent-looking shoes with velcro...
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I hate laces so much
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ADHD
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I (20F) have had MDD since I was 15. It came out of the blue and I have no history of significant trauma (that I recall anyway). Depression does not run in my family. I can't seem to understand what could've possibly caused it. I've read a lot of books trying to figure if there's any repressed trauma, intergenerational trauma, issues with my diet, lifestyle. I've done shadow work, meditations, somatic experiencing and I still can't seem to figure out what the issue really is. It's like I'm missing a link here. Like my emotions have no basis whatsoever. I could cognitively be in a really happy place but I might emotionally feel the complete opposite. I keep going on a roller coaster of feeling really intensely all these sad emotions, feeling absolutely distraught and then going through periods of having these thoughts only at the back of my mind. If there's anyone else who has been in the same place and has later figured out what caused it all, I would love to hear your thoughts.
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depression
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I've noticed how a couple of ppl try to express affection to me, and I just feel weird, is a mix of ''Why do you like me'' and ''What did I do to gain your affection'', obviusly I never say those things to the ppl but I can't stop it.
I'm only 15 y/o and, aside of my close family, I have near to 0 social interaction or bonds with others, idk if that have something to do with this
I want to know if anyone can relate with this and if it's something of the age or caused by my lack of relations
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aspergers
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I find myself to be very selective about my food, is that an Aspie thing?
I absolutely love tomato + mozarella
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aspergers
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I think about suicide every day. Some days it is in the back of my head but most days it feels like it would be the right thing to do.
Even I got a job this year and my first own place, I just feel so tired and not comfortable with being me and my life in general.
I turn 24 next year and I planned to say goodbye at 25 but I feel like my time comes with 24.
As I wrote in previous posts I'm not sure if I will ever do it but I really can't go on.
Sunday I wrote my letters on quality paper with a good pen and I have the envelopes in my closet. I also have a plan about how and where.
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depression
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Am I double Autistic or something now?
(joke btw)
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aspergers
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Hi all, I’m an adult male, 35, and a professional musician and teacher. Let me be the first to say that these are challenging jobs for someone with ADHD, but also oddly perfect at the same time? I feel like I teach with more compassion (especially those students who have ADHD themselves or learning disabilities), I’m creative in my approach, and I’m very creative in my performing, although I struggle to practice with discipline :|
I know many people with ADHD struggle with time awareness/management, but one of my biggest issues is getting places on time in the morning. Getting out of bed, and doing so on time, has been a huge challenge for me my entire life. I’ve been penalized in so many ways for it over the years, but now as a teacher I’m really punishing myself. I absolutely love teaching, and I think I’m pretty good at it, but my lateness really sets a poor example and makes me feel like such a failure. It really, really gets to me and I don’t know what to do.
My question to y’all is, have you found ways to successfully manage this in your own lives? Why is sleep so problematic for those of us with ADHD?
FYI I was first diagnosed at 22, and recently have focused more on treating ADHD as opposed to anxiety and depression, and I have tried a few meds - but they often seem to interfere MORE with sleep, even if they’re effective in other ways.
Please help :(
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ADHD
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I'm not talking about recovered memories. I had an incident 3 years ago that was SA in kind of similar circumstances to something that happened 9 years ago. But I was so fucked up and hurt by it 3 years ago and only just realised how it was pretty much the same thing and totally fucked up it is. I guess it has something to do with how I don't blame myself for traumatic stuff done to me out of my control but I just don't get it and think it's bizarre? Anyone experience something similar? I don't even know if it make sense
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ptsd
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This happened to me around early last year. My family and I sat down to watch Knives Out. Heard a lot of great stuff about it. I have a passion for films and filmmaking. And during the years I’ve watched plenty of film critics and slowly saw films from a critical standpoint. Analysing the use of cinematography, themes and acting.
But something interesting happened to me. During the film I went in with a mindset of critiquing. So while watching the film my mind was almost in a guard mode. Remember this thing. Oh that shot zoomed out, wonder what that must mean. Why did that character do that thing?
I was doing this so much that I wasn’t even watching the movie because I was so out of it, but just having an argument inside my own brain. Which sucked more because people loved this film and I wanted to figure out why. My mum and my brother were loving it. I felt left out because I was deeply suffering in silence but I never understood why.
I didn’t even watch the movie. Despite having the intent of analysing and seeing the deeper meaning or subtext. Obviously you can do that. But that usually comes from actually being attached and liking the characters to a point of doing so. I hilariously do this with a show like Spongebob.
Would this be considered OCD? It manifested into stressing if a shot lasted long enough or didn’t. And constantly emphasis on details. It’s painful.
The funny part about it, coming into a film like this is completely counter-intuitive. The least a movie can do is engage you. It’s all meant to suck you into the movie. So this overthinking it’s completely unproductive and a waste of time. Because it literally works against your senses.
This lasted for movies like Harry Potter 3, Midsommar, Lighthouse, and Mean Girls. All awesome films but my mind was at war with itself.
Is this OCD at all? Or is it just a bad time that I can forget and move on. What does help is just saying “that’s just ocd” which breaks me out of that worry mode. This was never the case for me as a kid growing up. Even if I wanted to identify with the cuts in a movie, I’d still love the movie so much that I would get wrapped up in it that I couldn’t over-obsess.
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OCD
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I have many obsessions, but the most persistantly bothersome obsession for me in studying, which makes up a large portion of my time for months is IQ related OCD.
I feel dwarfed by intrusive thoughts that tell me I am not smart, that I am dumb and not fitting where I am or what I am doing is impossible for an "idiot" like me. The thing is, the majority if not all of these tasks are very doable for me. But during that moment I feel as if I am incapable. I can only think of how I am thinking, searching ceaselessly for a hint that would approve that I *do* think. I repeat the written sentences in front of me in whatever I am doing and start justifying why I cannot succeed. Like "oh, I am just tired". It gets worse when other people are around me who are consistently doing what they need to do. I start feeling dwarfed by every achievement of theirs I witness, leading me to more intrusive thoughts and now - comparisons. Endless comparisions and stage fright around them totally turns me into a frightened, utterly helpless person. I stop being able to think anything at all, which to my OCD, confirms that I am incompetent and useless. The burden of these thoughts comes at all times during a school year - its trigger often is a week where I am tired, miss school or miss homework and fall behind for a while. That leads me to see sigbificant differences in ability between me and my classmates. The anxiety generated by such events prevents me from making up the work in a calm setting and instead, panic, compulse and be filled with a ground level self esteem.
To differentiate between true inability and incompetence to OCD anxiety, I studied myself at work while in a summer break or any yearly break, when no one is around. I'd take to studying for the amount of time I would normally. I found I had no anxiety at all, I could think clearly, normally and if anything, very quickly. I actually would enjoy learning.
Then, I asked a teacher to be examined alone - my performance, although dwarfed by the knowledge that someone will be reading the exam sheet in future, was substantially higher than before, in the classroom with my fellow studious classmates.
So its a weird perfectionism OCD of fear what I do will not be perfect, which prevents me from being able to act and save myself, contributing to the idea that I am stupid, also OCD caused, giving me low self esteem and eventually, depression.
Yet, even though ERP worked for me in this regard. I tried just doing things and it did help. The moment things didnt need to be perfect or rather, they are for me than anyone else - I could move forward with true ability. But... when a relapse happens, I cant, even with ERP, bring back my way of doing things. I become more obsessive, depressed, anxious and cannot see the true reality and use my abilities. I get so frustrated that I cant lift myself up. These tranformations of character only happen when I am alone for a period of time and realize I have this problem, try to fix it and go back to class, then a bad week comes and it all returns to a vicious cycle. I become more depressed, I feel like garbage in comparison to others, purely because of OCD. But the moment depression and self deprication hits, I find thinking positivley about my abilities totally impossible. I become self hating and more obsessive and less self aware, bringing me to a state where nothing feels right. Everything I do turns into a sad attempt. OCD prevents me from using myself. Just justifying I suck to the OCD. That contributs to the depression - slowly going steadily down all the way to suicidality - believing I will never recover or ever be able to be "unbroken". Only after a long year of suffering, I start the being alone without learning again. I finally start seeing the world right again. I slowly regain my soul and do things without stage fright and the doing related OCD.
But this cycle is unbearable. I dont know much what to do because I cant always be in a good period in the year. When I am, I am a straight A student, when I fall to OCD, I barely pass anything. And I always forget this every year.
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OCD
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(So I also have an anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder, I know a lot of this is probably due to those)
I had a week of building good healthy habits, getting my work done, etc. but it all crashed hard and now it’s been a week of doing essentially nothing. I’m supposed to be working from home and I just haven’t done any work, I know I need to, and I sit there and go crazy thinking about what a failure I am and why can’t I just get up and do it?? Even tasks that would have a reward or that I enjoy: changing my guitar strings so I can play, , going outside, going to the store to get something I like. In a week the only things I’ve actually done is load the dishwasher 4 times, 2 loads of laundry, showered twice, and cooked a meal. Other than those tasks I have done nothing but lay in bed and watch tv and play pc games. Even with tv I can’t pay attention to it or follow a plot, and it’s a really strange thing feeling like you’re failing at watching tv. It feels near impossible to actually do the things I need to do. Like I look at the world I need to do and just cry. I’m afraid I’m going to lose my job if I can’t figure out how to snap out of this and get my life together. How do you get yourself to do things when it feels impossible?
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ADHD
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I have a problem with medication and I don’t know if there’s anyone that can give me advice on how to deal with it? I have CPTSD from childhood trauma and as a result really struggle when taking stimulants. I get really anxious and depressed and have obsessive thoughts. I know I need therapy but I need a quicker fix in order to take my medication sooner. I’ve tried non stimulants and they don’t have much of an effect.
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ADHD
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I was on adderal after years of trying to get someone to stop experimenting with medication that wasn’t for adhd but “was potentially affective in some”. None of it worked except for strattera a little bit but it unfortunately only worked at higher doses which gave me rapid heartbeat.
I wanted to know for my first prenatal check up if there was anything I could request to use to treat my adhd. I can’t function normally without it but I’m also not completely nonfunctional either. I also have an issue with Tourette’s tics that was resolved by the adhd medication but are now out of control due to me not being medicated.
If you guys were on a medication during pregnancy please let me know so I could bring it up with my obgyn to see if there is a chance the drug will work for myself without hurting the baby.
Side note- I only took adderal the days I went to school.
Tl;dr pregnant and taken off needed medication and now am finding it hard to function.
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ADHD
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So I am 31F and have asked for an assessment a while back (in sept last year), the GP did not seem very knowledgable about adult autism diagnosis and seemed not to really want to refer me. She referred me to a psychiatrist instead (after losing my referral once and prolonging my wait by about 4 months).
Well today I finally got a call back from a psychiatrist to make an arrangement for an appointment. He seemed really frustrated at the GP for referring me to him rather than directly for an assessment. He was really nice in accommodating my appointment time (he is going to do it outside of his working hours because I am at work when he's available), and kept repeating that I must know if I am on the spectrum or not and that it is crucial and important. He said if my GP will not refer me he will personally make sure that I get a referral for an assessment as fast as possible.
It just felt really good to be listened to and not ignored. I am really looking forward to my online appointment with him next week!
Don't know if anyone cares but I really wanted to share the good news with someone. I don't really talk about this to anyone in real life.
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aspergers
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It's really hard for me to tell these two apart and i know I'm not the only one. Sometimes i think I've developed a crush on someone, but then it turns out it was just a hyperfixation and no real romantic feelings were involved.
There's this person that I've met. They're really nice and they understand me so well and we just click! it's weird, cause when i think of them or we talk i don't get any butterflies in my stomach, no blushing or nothing that would indicate i have a crush on them, but when we talk and hang out i just can't help but smile all the time, and i feel so safe with them. Things did happen that were similiar to when I hyperfixate on someone, but also when they told me they were dating someone i felt my heart crack.
I was happy for them of course! Love is the best thing that someone can feel, so I'm happy they've found someone that reciprocates the feeling.. but still a part of me felt so bad.
I don't know if it's just me fooling myself, thinking that i have a crush on someone when i actually don't, or maybe I'm just trying to hide my true feelings or still trying to come to terms with them.
I don't know, maybe any of you guys have been in this situation before? Some insight would really help.
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ADHD
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Hello guys. So I am a 29 yo guy that struggled a lot during university because I couldn’t focus during studying and the same was during elementary school. I don’t have hyperactivity but I have always forgot everything during the elementary school and everyday I had to call to a friend to ask for the assignments cause I couldn’t catch them at the right time.Growing up I was good in school because I’m smart (lol) but I was still a bit of a natural talent, I couldn’t focus and do stuff for duty as many other people. I told my psychiatrist about my suspect and she just told me it’s unlikely because kids with adhd are very visible and you can’t handle them. I also struggle a lot with waiting especially in a quei and I am often anxious about stuff, lists, things to do…what is your point of view?
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ADHD
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I’ve seen this recommended before but I tried some of this ointment because I struggle with picking my skin. Especially on my face which can cause me more social anxiety and depression. On my bad days, this stuff has helped me. Maybe it can help you too 🙂
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OCD
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Or is like emdr and exposure therapy the only way, because I can't afford any of that therapy.
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ptsd
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Since September I started to listen subliminals and I really saw the results and everything was fine until November that’s when I started to wonder how those things actually work and that’s when I thought that what if my fear of cancer can become a reality because I was still listening to subliminals back then and I thought that they can somehow manifest my fear so that’s when I stopped with those subliminals. But my fear only become worse , now i am diagnosed with an OCD and with an ed ,and even after 6 months I’m still afraid that my fear can somehow become a reality because I can’t stop thinking about it and my mind always repeat things like I have “that illness “ I’m so scared , I know my fear probably make no sense I just want someone to tell me that my fear of cancer can’t become a reality and that those subliminals have nothing to do with it either .
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OCD
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I used to always think "why can I not make friends or find a girl that actually like me?", but over the past year, I've come to the conclusion that there's nothing "wrong" or "different" about me. People are just weird. I'm very confident in myself, despite having social anxiety and possibly Aspergers (I'm going to a Psychiatrist when I can take the time off work to see if I can get a diagnosis). I have one really good friend, but we live like two and a half hours away from one another. Apart from that, any attempt I've made to talk to a girl, or try to be more of a friend than an acquaintance to someone, it hasn't worked. This is why I'm just going to focus on myself from now on, and the one friend I have, who actually reciprocates the same energy. I spend most of my time, when I'm not working, making beats because I'm a Hip-Hop Producer, and it looks like that's all I'll be doing for the foreseeable future. It just feels like people don't even know how to communicate properly anymore, and all basic human decency is slowly diminishing. I know what I can bring to the table, but it's just ashame that other people don't actually have the decency to even want to get to know me. I dress well, I like to think I'm good looking, and I'm just a very chill guy, so I know there's nothing wrong with how I am. This is kind of like a rant, but without the aggressiveness. It's just something I've noticed over the past year or two.
Can anyone else relate?
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aspergers
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So I’m diagnosed with PTSD from a physical injury I suffered serving overseas
I had a few surgeries, and had to relearn how to walk
I originally went into see a therapist because my work center was treating me like garbage and I knew I could skip work for mental health appointments and I wanted a third party to vent to
They diagnosed me with PTSAD (lol I always think it’s funny P.T. Sad.)
I don’t have flashback or feel any type of way about the injury itself
It’s the pain I have now, and the inability to do the activities I love, and the future prospect of my life being completely different that cause my symptoms of anxiety and depression and insomnia
I never really believed in the diagnosis because I dont have the “classic stereotype symptoms” sitting watching doors, knowing the way out, nightmares, flashbacks, etc.
I thought I fooled all the therapists, and my trauma wasn’t actually affecting me mentally. But at the same time I was always completely honest with them.
I’m lucky in the sense my symptoms aren’t as bad as other peoples.
Also this journey of healing my trauma has gotten me able to reconcile other traumas From childhood I never even mentioned to the therapist.
Idk why I’m posting this tbh, just found the sub today and thought it might be nice to share. Thanks for reading.
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ptsd
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I just wanted to say thank you to you all. Reading all your posts has made me a better parent to my step son. This group has helped me understand him and be more patient. Just wanted to say this group is awesome!!
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aspergers
|
I dont understand sometimes which type of life im living. From the outside seems I keep on rolling and somehow moving on. But my head is so intense. I experience fixations in conversations where at the end im just shaming my self for who I am because I feel that from the others. I dont think that is truth but my body my sadness and anguish “Make me” all fixed in scrolling for hours because is where I feel “safe”.
I have filled my agenda and work on myself nonstop, soul and body. Spoiling my self,exercising the appreciation of where I am, people around me and my progress. But my head managed always to put me back, and everything feels so worthless. I feel i will never be able to find a partner that loves me as a whole. I have never admitted this to others because I shamed my self as looking for codependency and to avoid myself for loving another one. These past months have been better but to night was a huge fall down. And I don’t want to talk to people that I know because I feel like an old boring story.
Sorry for my english besides that is not my mother tongue im texting from my phone that since the last update has being a bit disabled.
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OCD
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I dunno why. Nothing has happened. There’s no outward reason for it I guess. But the depression is so palpable in my bedroom, which I’ve been in the entire day except for 2 bathroom breaks. It’s so hard to convince myself to do anything. I’ve been pretty hungry for the past few hours, but I can’t bring myself to do anything about it. I don’t want to step outside my room and my parents make a big deal out of it. I don’t want anyone to acknowledge my lack of self care today. I know I haven’t showered since Sunday. I know I haven’t done anything remotely productive today. I’m so aware of all the shitty things about me today.
Tomorrow will be better, I promise.
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depression
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I just don’t know what to do. I’m a male in my 20s with adhd, depression, anxiety and will check to see if I’m bi polar, autism, and ptsd. I’ll be honest, I want answers to my problems. I just feel like even with medication and therapy, that I’m still just a slave to my emotions, a slave to my disorders. I know cbt blah blah blah, I’ve tried it, but these intense emotions still appear. I still have too many options and can’t choose something to do and when I do choose something, I want to do ten other things. Constantly going from one app on my phone to another, feeling anxious if I spend too much time on one. Hanging out with friends, constantly thinking “I only have this much time with them before I have to leave”. It’s so much. I exercise but even that I gotta convince myself to do. It’s so much and I just want help, but I’m afraid that this is it. That things won’t get better. It seems like browsing this sub, that things won’t get better, that I’m just stuck, and I should just be thankful that I’m this far. I dunno please someone prove me wrong.
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ADHD
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Personally, I have never even tried flirting. I believe it is something that is supposed to come naturally and I cannot simulate or generate anything that would make it happen. When I have feelings for someone I tell them directly. To their suprise of course since I didn't let anything show. Not that I would have been able to if I tried.
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aspergers
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