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Hello everyone I'm 22y I saw that certain person with adhd could have hypersexuality and that hypersexuality could lead to paraphilia.
I have adhd, dyspraxia and ocd and I suffer from porn addiction, sex addiction, paraphilia and all is due to dopamine.
Anyone who suffer from paraphilia?
My paraphilia decrease a lot but when I was 13y I had voyeuristic disorder, frotteurism..
And I remember taking picture of ass girl..
I don't have urge, rarely.
I saw that certain people with paraphilia when they took adhd medication, their paraphilia decrease
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ADHD
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I didn't know it wouldnt hurt: that when talking to people you're allowed to say "I'm not comfortable with having this conversation" or i don't want to talk about ---- ITS NOT rude its boundrys and its okay to have boundrys. People will sometimes push or get upset but all you can do is politely explain your reasoning. And let them complain. You're never obligated to have a conversation.
I wanted to share cause forever i new i could do it but i believed it was rude and created problems but i figured out 90% of the time people respect it and leave you alone. The other small persentage can happen exspecially online but its never usually your fault and you cant force people to get you but you can end it. It is not hurting anyone. Im telling you its made my life a lot less stressful to not feel like i have to explain everything i say and do when i feel its been clearly stated and double checked and admit wrongs. But mostly its fine.
I love it its my new stress releif.
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aspergers
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Every time I take it I get this gross, persistent taste in my mouth. I've never licked concrete before, but that's what it tastes like. Someone said hydration mitigates it, but I'm drinking at least 2 litres a day and it doesn't make a difference. It comes back after I eat, drink, or brush my teeth, and doesn't leave until the medication wears off. Minty gum immediately gets rid of the taste, but chewing on it subconsciously triggers my teeth grinding ticc which goes on even after I take the gum out. There's 8 kabillion of our medicated behinds out there, someone has to know the cure 🙏
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ADHD
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I don't think I can talk to anyone about OCD. I feel like people will just use it against me. I feel like if I ever told people what happens with the thoughts, the googling for reassurance, all the weird shit, they wouldn't get it.
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OCD
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The title says it all!!! Im so frustrated with myself all the time dealing with this😭😭 Im very hyperactive when making conversations to people especially my coworkers I wanna talk to them properly without jumping from topic to topic but I cant help it my brain goes from one thing to another. Idk how to fix this properly 😭 it definitely affects my communications towards the people and I want to be better and work on myself with this.
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ADHD
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When I see some coworkers are scheduled to take their break same time as me- they will change it to avoid taking it with me. What am I doing in the break room that is so bad?
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aspergers
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I (24F) was recently diagnosed with ADHD (primarily inattentive), which now explains a looot of my past behaviours and patterns. A small example is that I hyperfixate on certain hobbies and interests, but now I seem to hyperfixate (in a very extreme manner) on my ADHD diagnosis. I can't stop talking about it to people (oversharing), reading about ADHD, looking up reddit posts, scientific articles, youtube videos, overanalyzing my actions, etc. I haven't found meds that work for me yet, so even though I am relieved with my diagnosis, the fact that I am now aware of this is also making my concentration and attention span soooo much worse than it already was.....
Anyone relate to this or have any tips to break through this, or words of comfort? Feeling pretty hopeless right now as I have so much stuff to get done
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ADHD
|
I know this is a very specific question that probably doesnt apply to many, but I'm not really sure where to go to for advice about this so I'm starting here.
I work as an aerospace engineer for a UAV company. My day job involves a lot of desk work which I've been struggling with to the point I had been worried about being fired. I finally got diagnosed with ADHD-PI in October and have been put on (currently) 50mg Elvanse (Vynase) and still titrating.
When I'm not doing my desk job at work, I'm also one of our autopilot operators when we fly the aircraft. This bit I love, i could do it for days on end.
However, we have recently out of the blue been told we need a CAA Class 2 medical before we do our next big flight. The CAA states this, in regards to ADHD:
"This condition is diagnosed (according to DSM-IV) when an individual demonstrates inattention, hyperactivity or impulsiveness sufficient to cause significant impairment in social, school or work functioning. The impairment should have appeared before the age of seven years for the diagnosis to be made and may improve with age.
Therefore, anyone applying for pilot licensing who has been diagnosed with this condition must undergo neuropsychological assessment to assess the likelihood of them being able to perform safely as a pilot. An individual with ongoing ADHD will not (by definition) be able to complete pilot training. Medication used for this disorder is normally disqualifying."
To me, this section seems largely misinformed. I can drive a car, and am a glider pilot. Personally I find that ADHD makes me hyper aware when I'm driving or flying but I get it wouldn't do that for everyone. I take Elvanse to survive writing requirements, not because I wouldn't be a competent pilot without it.
Despite this, how can you say that the use of medication to treat a disorder is disqualifying?? That to me is on the same lines as telling somebody that using glasses to pass their eye exam is disqualifying, but they don't do that!
Also what the hell does "An individual with ongoing ADHD will not (by definition) be able to complete pilot training". By definition? Who the fuck wrote this. This makes me so angry. Acting like people with ADHD couldn't possibly finish a pilot training course. What, do they think we can't learn to drive either??
Anyway.
I'm fuming. I wasn't diagnosed last summer when we flew the same UAV, and we weren't even asked for a medical that time round. Now I have been diagnosed, suddenly it's needed and suddenly I might be told by someone who knows nothing about ADHD that I'm not competent to do the job I've been doing competently for the last three years. Can I just.. not tell them? I don't know what to do :(
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ADHD
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Every time I’m scrolling through tiktok or Instagram I’ll see a girl and I’ll think “oh no she looks young what if I’m attracted her?” And I get that pit in my stomach and them I’ll look. And 9 times out of 10 they’re , 17 (I’m 17 btw) 19, 20, 16, etc. so all these girls I’m scared are young are really around my age. So If those were girls who were younger that would mean I’m not attracted because they look like kids, I’m attracted because of they’re adult like features. So that kinda just disproved OCD lol
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OCD
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Realising you're not special.
Realising no one really cares about you.
Realising everyone else is more beautiful/successful/intelligent than you.
Growing to hate yourself more and more each day.
Getting one step closer to dying alone every day.
Fading away from your friends and family.
Becoming cynical.
Feeling your crippling self hatred growing.
Realising how futile your life is.
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depression
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Got diagnosed with complex PTSD but my memory of all the trauma (childhood in general) is very vague and sparse and i don't actually feel anything towards it when I consciously recall it. Maybe just a lot of dissociation.
Inattentive and daydreamy as a child. Are people with ADHD more prone to developing amnesia regarding the Trauma? Or is this just a detached personality? What's your experience? Thanks
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ADHD
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I’ve been depressed for a long time and lately it’s really taking a toll. I feel very cold and numb. I feel fed up with people and i have started being really mean and careless towards them. I treat them badly and i feel nothing. My heart has gone cold. I don’t think i’m a sociopath because i still love my family and animals.
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depression
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I wanted too see if anybody can relate or has dealt with something similar. So about 4 months ago i got intrusive thought about sexuality and i have been dealing with that(HOCD) since then, but another obsession came with it. I started sensing my surroundings differently. It has mainly been outside and things from a distance.
- These things are: clouds, sun, how the color from the sun looks, mountains, light reflection, weather from a distance, buildings from a distance.
- It consumes my day, i cant go anywhere without checking if i “see” things differently than “before” OCD.
- Feels like derealization but things have not changed, just how i view them.
Can it be a OCD about being aware of being aware?
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OCD
|
Hi y'all!
I was diagnosed as a teen and never treated. Lately, life has seemed to pull the ADHD right to the surface again. I am having trouble with executive function, runaway thought process, distraction issues, etc.
My PCP put me on strattera and it seems to be subtly helping, maybe? I'm on week 4. Thing is, I was given an article to read about anxiety and I'm having so much trouble getting through reading it. I just can't keep from being distracted. Even audio books, same thing.
So, to those who are helped by medication, is that a symptom? Being able to read a full page of information without stopping 3/4 of the way to realize you only made it 1/4 the way through and your brain split into reading words with zero comprehension and thinking tangent or completely unrelated thoughts.
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ADHD
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I work full time and just got a part time job on top of that (gonna be 1-2 days a week with 12+ hour shifts). As much as I like to relax I find I’m a lot happier when I’m keeping busy and working a lot, and lately I’ve been feeling pretty bored during my free time. I’m actually thinking of going back to school (I’ve been on an indefinite break since last year) on top of my 2 jobs. I wanna do an online go-at-your-own-pace program (cybersecurity degree). I feel like doing a little school at a time while working will be easier for me than just going all in on school, as I don’t have a good attention span when it comes to academics. When I’m just doing school I get lazy and depressed, but maybe keeping mostly busy with work and then putting in a hour or two for school here and there will keep me sane.
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aspergers
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Not sure if an aspie only thing but children really annoy me.
Screaming, talking, running around. All of it really. Unnecessary.
As a child I was relaxed, never annoying really.
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aspergers
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Does anyone have any experience with treating their OCD using psilocybin (either recreationally or directed by a therapist, if that's a thing)? There is so much new research coming out on it being really beneficial for treating mental illness (see this article in Nature regarding major depressive disorder: [https://www.nature.com/articles/s41398-021-01706-y](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41398-021-01706-y)). I am super curious to know if anyone has experience with this and OCD, or if anyone can point me to some research articles that would be great as well!
Edit: Just want to clarify that I have no plans to try this for my OCD anytime soon! I was just curious. I would be open to trying it under the direction of a therapist, but I imagine it'll be a few years yet until it's common for treatment. My intrusive thoughts almost always occur as graphic images so I will not risk it until it is a common medical practice.
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OCD
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i’m utterly devastated over this. i knew it wouldn’t last long as i didn’t have a lot of money but having to tell my therapist that this will be my last session broke me. even at reduced rate it would be impossible. i have no insurance either.
i got extremely lucky, i liked her and felt she was helping a lot. and now i don’t have that guidance and support anymore. i cant stop crying.
i wonder if i can ever have a point in my life where i can have money, be officially diagnosed, and be in therapy and on medication.
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depression
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How do you decide when to confide something deep about yourself to a friend. What if they think I’m stupid ?
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depression
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She refuses medication saying it doesn't work and gives her headaches. She didn't use them consistently or long enough for her to really see benefits. She's not interested in trying different kinds.
She tells me I don't listen to her, that she wants freedom and that I'm too restrictive. Literally the only thing I force on her is a 10p curfew on screens on school nights. Otherwise she would stay up till 5a on a school night.
She refuses basic parenting accountability and consequences for her behavior. She sees them as punishment and that negative reinforcement doesn't work. She basically believes that we should not hold her accountable because she has a condition that she has no control over.
She refuses therapy. We've tried several different kinds.
She wants freedom like staying home over the weekend when we go out of town, but she does nothing to participate in the responsibilities that would give her that freedom like making meals for herself or even eating the nutritious food we provide for her.
Everything we try or do she refuses. She told me today that she doesn't even want to find a solution to her condition, yet she acknowledges that she's miserable because of it.
She's a brilliant young woman. She sensitive, creative, dedicated, and fair, but she also has a side that is utterly cynical and stubborn.
Ugh, my wife and I are so exhausted. We don't know what to do and it just seems to be getting worse.
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ADHD
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So I’m currently on 1.5 mg of klonopin for the day, but I was wondering if taking my daily adderall would be okay. I’m really relaxed, but I need to focus in class today. Is this mixture bad ? Am I gonna feel horrible ? Any answers will help ! I know that the mix isn’t bad but I was wondering if the 1.5 dose of klonopin was too much for the adderall. Does anyone take this mixture ? If so how safe is it ?
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ADHD
|
1. I quit a job or get fired every year and I’m 30. I’m very short tempered and basically met every criteria in the ADHD checklist. And I’m pretty sure ADHD runs in my family undiagnosed…..
2. I met this wonderful woman and I told myself I have to work hard to give her what she wants. I graduated with distinction and found a job
3. I got redundant due to covid last year. I failed my license test once but the second time I passed….. but the PTSD stays there and I carried it onto the next job.
4. My next job got me into deep anxiety and depression. (As in I’m not interested in anything else other than work). I quit last week because I tried hard to manage the time but it always bite me back. And the technical part was too tricky.
It made me extra guilty and have a hard time to wind down during weekend and have trouble sleeping.
5. I’m depressed mainly because of my wife…. She gave up all she has in her hometown and follow me to a place where we don’t know anyone.
I have let her down again and again and she still support me no matter what. But I don’t know what to give back. Because she wants a kid in two years and expecting me to be emotional available and have a stable career. But I don’t see myself doing it…..
I hate myself, wanting to live in the moment but can’t stop thinking about the past and worrying about the future…. And if I focus on the present I will be forgetful about what I’ve done….
And every time when I’m doing one thing which requires more steps, even though I’ve done it for a thousand times, it take me a long time remember the process without making a mistakes. It’s like every morning when I woke up, the emotion stays but everything’s gone….
What am I supposed to do now?
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ADHD
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When watching movies, series, anime or playing games I can turn the logical side off from being too much. I just feel and enjoy it. But when dealing with real life situations my reasoning side seems to dominate everything. I think is because of a deep desire to seek the real truth behind things. The facts.
Others have these values like: everyone matters, they want to have a big impact on the world, they want to do work for others because of this. They don't want the world go to shit. They care about future generations. They care about contributing to society.
But I see many inconsistencies with this:
How can strangers matter if I don't have build up a relationship with them? I don't have a real connection with them like with friends, parents and brother. It won't matter if millions of strangers on the other side of the planet die.
Why should I also do work for these people? The only reason I see is to survive.
If I can't care about strangers, it doesn't matter that future generations die. The world can just go to shit after me and my loved ones die, no problem.
Why is slavery wrong? None of my loved ones are slaves.
Killing someone is not bad to me, if it is not a loved one.
And more...
So in conclusion, I don't really care about the world except my loved ones because I see some inconsistencies with caring. I do care in the sense that I feel it, but the contradictions go against this.
The problem with these thoughts is that my passion and meaning in life decreases because of it. If I don't care about the world and only about loved ones, but my job contritubes to people outside of it, I won't have much drive to do it, like others.
I also can't enjoy studying for as much as others, because I don't have the drive to learn big things like others, to contribute, because of this lack of caring about the world and society.
Does anyone have similar experiences?
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aspergers
|
Personally I just call myself autistic, but ofc a lot of people use the term Aspergers instead. I know that it used to be a actual diagnosis separate from autism, but besides that are there any reasons for the distinction for you guys?
Just curious! /gen
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aspergers
|
Can't remember the last time I had 8 hours of sleep. During workdays I consequently sleep less than 5 hours, often 4. I'm worried for my health, and my brain is running on fumes. I feel so bad that I can't just go to bed. I don't get it, even if I'm sleepy I end up not doing it. I'm so angry with myself because it's currently past 3am and I have to be at work 9 at the latest. I've been torturing myself like this for years and years.
Feel so weird when friends and coworkers say they're tired when they only slept 5-6 hours, and I've been sleeping less then that for years. Persistent bags under my eyes. It just reinforces how fucking unhinged my self-regulation is compared to normal people.
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ADHD
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I had some intrusive urges trying to tell me I would lose my s*ul if I didn’t do a compulsion, and I fucked the compulsion up. Now I honestly think o might go to hell if I don’t do something, something that I just really do not know how to do. Has anyone had similar thoughts and gotten through them? Are you worried you might be going to hell at some point, or you might already be there now? I’m just unsure of what to do, I know I shouldn’t listen to the compulsions, but something about this time feels like it’s serious. What should I try friends?
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OCD
|
i dont have good experiences with "love". i trusted people too easily and was groomed into relationships from the time i was 13 (currently i am 16). two of my previous partners had both r//d me, from the time period when i was around 14-15. they were both older than me, around 3-4 years to be specific. the second ex roughed me up psychologically a lot. i have been through so much mental ab//e when i was just a 15 year old kid (under the age of consent in the country that it happened) and she was a 19 year old grown ass woman. i have been guilted into se//al acts with her more times than i could count, and she would force me to learn more about her kinks and fetishes, etc. and would threaten s/h or s///cide if i ever told her i am not comfortable with something that she wanted to do. thankfully, i got out of this. but that was only around february of this year.
i had to move away to a different country because even the smallest thought of encountering her was unimaginably terrifying to me. everytime i would go to places i knew she would sometimes visit, i would get intense panic attacks and my friends (who i always called over with me because i was too scared to be alone) would have to comfort me and calm me down. after moving, i went to seek for help - in result i was diagnosed with clinical depression and ptsd and have been drugged up on antidepressants over the span of roughly a year. truth is, i have been doing better recently, but only after changing maybe 3 types of different antidepressants. my "recovery" was only possible through avoiding people who i thought had the smallest interest in me. i thought i could never feel love ever again, since the thought of someone liking me made me beyond disgusted in the person and myself especially.
i know this sounds incredibly childish and even pathetic, but i recently met a guy, my age. someone completely new since i am in a wildly different environment than before. i thought nothing of him at first, but as time progressed i realized i had been getting feelings, those that are similar to a crush. this terrified me and still does. i have been having such an impossibly hard time processing just how i managed to develop feelings for someone when i barely know them and dont even know if i could trust them or not. this person doesnt even show any interest towards me, and doesnt match with the "type" that i have had liked before. i feel like i betrayed myself yet again through developing feelings for someone. i feel guilty, scared, and many more emotions that i just don't know how to describe - shame?i feel like im subconsciously trying to get myself into an unhealthy and possibly ab//ive cycle again. and i truthfully do not know what to do. not acting on it is something ideal, as (hopefully) my feelings would dissipate sooner or later, but at the same time, deep inside, im still looking for a shoulder to lean on and let my guard down with (if i could even manage to ever do that). i am so tired of having nobody but myself and my psychiatrist to count on - maybe this is the reason why i have developed feelings for a person for the first time in forever?
I have been wanting to let this out, but my psychiatrist is currently on vacation after 2 months of having covid, so i created a throwaway account just to rant about this. im really perplexed by the situation and myself in general. if you have made it this far, do you have any advice? should i just leave it for my own good?
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ptsd
|
Hi, all! I feel like I’ve always dreamed weird things that make me feel so many emotions, and that also feel so real. I was taking Concerta for about 2 years, and stopped a few months ago. I realized that I don’t think I was really dreaming when I was taking it. Has anyone else experienced like dream suppression when it comes to medication?
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ADHD
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Sometimes when I get severe OCD, I feel restless mixed with horniness if that makes sense. This feeling increases my anxiety even more, does anyone else go through this? Anything helps
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OCD
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I think I found out I have pure OCD. I have played a song over in my head for sixteen years in order to stim. Uhm I'm mainly looking for support. Thanks. Discovery is the achievement because now I can do something and fix it. I've been counting in my head or kind of measuring decibels. Counting beats of air. Keeping track of matter. Watching shadows and clouds. Taking notes mentally on smells in my room. Or maybe a ten foot radius. If I don't do this then it's kind of trouble. To me.
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OCD
|
That’s really about it. I’m depressed. I know I am. I know I should exercise and bathe and so on. I know what steps to take. It’s just hard not to wish I could just sleep and never wake up some days.
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depression
|
I'm saving to go to language school and university in Japan in about 17 months. I had a Japanese friend, who now avoids me. I'm realizing Aspergers and social que issues are likely why. What's my best option to handle social ques issues, before leaving to Japan?
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aspergers
|
For your consideration:
[https://www.theonion.com/man-getting-high-and-eating-taco-bell-thousands-of-mile-1845721340?utm\_campaign=The%20Onion&utm\_content=1637898300&utm\_medium=SocialMarketing&utm\_source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR2E\_zm2hyX2QculrfQmMhrc-bYkd3BJmMDvXr9RwJmPCMLn2RN804kCcj0](https://www.theonion.com/man-getting-high-and-eating-taco-bell-thousands-of-mile-1845721340?utm_campaign=The%20Onion&utm_content=1637898300&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR2E_zm2hyX2QculrfQmMhrc-bYkd3BJmMDvXr9RwJmPCMLn2RN804kCcj0)
I learned my ex-wife is now a holiday guest at my ex-brother's house.
Having duck for Thanksgiving, and being thankful that there's nobody in my life who doesn't care about me anymore.
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aspergers
|
Me: Do you want me to lock the door?
Colleague: Yes, I will need it open for tomorrow.
Me: Ok, I will lock the door then.
I experience these worries where I think I might not have heard the person right so I confirm by repeating what they said to do. Especially when if I do the opposite there could be consequences.
So....how crazy do you think I looked when I had this conversation?
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OCD
|
Hi everyone, I just got (officially) diagnosed for inattentive-type ADHD and given a prescription for Methylphenidat (Ritalin), starting with 10g a day and then increase dosage weekly if needed (to 40 max). I'm new to this so really don't know what to expect -please help me explore by sharing your experiences, I'd love to learn more. I'm not a short fused individual but more like the daydream, can't keep a conversation straight or finish a task and hard to coordinate type of guy.
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ADHD
|
Does anyone have physical illness from their PTSD? I’ve been dealing with no appetite and a ton of stomach/digestive system issues. I get to a point if I’m out and have anxiety, my ears clog up and my throat gets all tight. I even slur my words at times, without any of the fun of being inebriated! Yet as soon as I leave that situation, it can be in the same building but just not having to interact with people, it will get better.
I’m seeing specialists and will have a ton of tests done soon. I’m just curious if any of it is related to my anxiety? Can these be like weird triggers?
I’ve had a lot of trauma around eating and meals. So, it would make sense if it’s related. I’m just curious if my cPTSD could be causing some of this. If anyone else has gone through similar, what has been the most helpful to manage it?
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ptsd
|
(Throwaway because i'm paranoid lmao)
Hey, i have no idea if this is the right place to post this but I have a problem and I hope some of you can help me. There was a very unpleasant for me situation at my school and I have no idea how to deal with it. It was the last day of schol before we had 4 days off (it was wednesday), the first class of that day was Math (that I really struglle with and find extremely boring), It was going pretty normal until the teacher told me to go to the board to do an excersise. I kind of panicked because I had no idea what were we doing and the stress wasn't helping either. I tried to solve it at first, then gave up and just told the teacher I had no idea how to do it. She got mad and started to tell me how did I not know this since we did this in class yesterday and that I never pay attention in class. I told her again that I just couldn't do it (I was at the verge of tears and visibly shaking at the moment). She then started to tell the same things again and just as I almost bursted into tears I asked her if I can go to the bathroom, she allowed me (how generous of her). I went to the bathroom and cried for a good 10 minutes and calmed myself down for antoher 10 minutes. I went back to the classroom, two friends asked me if I was okay and no one brought it up for the rest of the day and pretended it didn't happen. When I went home I felt like shit the whole day and felt a weird sense of shame, sadness and anger. So the main problem I have now is that I'm afraid to go back to school on Monday because I feel like it would be awkward and I have no idea how other classmates feel about it. I feel like the feeling is mainly due to RSD that I always struggled through my life. It was the first time that this happened to me in high school, I never cried infront of any of my classmates and I feel like it kinda suprised them that this 100 kg and 1,84 m tall dude was capable of just bursting into tears. Does anyone know how to deal with this feeling or how to overcome it?
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ADHD
|
Being unabled to do this has something to do with the nervous system not functioning correctly. Pretty much the only way my condition shows on the outside these days. I hate that I can't control my voice. When I was younger I didn't really care. As I grew older I realized nobody really cares about what you say, it's how you say it.
I wish I could at least somehow know when I'm in control and when not. Every time my voice suddenly falters it feels like a stab in the back. This seems to happen almost randomly.
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aspergers
|
I’ve always struggled with knowing if things were normal socially or not. Things like when to laugh when someone’s talking or when it’s appropriate to interrupt or if saying “can I just say something” every time I need to add something to the conversation is good communication or obnoxious.
Anyways, this is about emails. Is it customary to only send one email reply a day? I’m applying for school and scholarships and things and email is the easiest way to interact with all parties necessary, obviously I call when needed, but I’ll send an email and then I might get a response the next day. Literally one response a day or I wait 2-3 days for a response even if we have an established conversation that has an established sense of urgency on all parts.
Is that a normal thing, to wait so long for a reply? In my head everyone is always answering emails and checking emails. This probably isn’t true but I try to reply to emails as soon as I see them so I don’t forget. I don’t have the luxury of waiting hours to reply because I’ll forget so I have to do it then! This also probably has to do with growing up in the age of instant everything but I just need to know if it’s a social norm or if I am waiting longer than normal for responses?
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ADHD
|
I’m terrible when it comes to planning and remembering important dates like birthdays or certain holidays. I’m so focused on getting through the day-to-day or weekly tasks that I tend to lose sight of anything I might need to plan ahead for until it’s so last minute I’m scrambling.
This is especially bad for things like trips or vacations. I’ve had to actually cancel a few trips in the past (like vegas or music festivals) because I assumed I had way more time than I did to plan accordingly and got so overwhelmed later that I backed out. I have a trip coming up over the winter holidays and thankfully it’s with family so they’re already reminding me weekly about it coming up.
I’ve tried doing the whole daily planner thing and it lasts about week until I forget about it. Same thing with keeping stuff in my phone. I think i’m gonna start keeping a post it note on my bathroom mirror that says “WRITE IN/CHECK CALENDAR” Does anyone else have any tips?
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ADHD
|
This is a lot to type and may be hard for me to explain exactly what my thoughts are, so y’all just bear with me. I have had and been diagnosed with severe OCD and these past few weeks have been BRUTAL. Every little thing that occurs in my life has the potential to be something I obsess over.
Last week my OCD was very flared up, and I was having trouble coping with it. I work in a blue collar field of work with awesome coworkers, and Monday one of my coworkers that I’m very close with patted me on the bottom as a friendly gesture, kind of like a coach would do saying good job. Meaning nothing behind it at all.
My thoughts immediately go into “was j just sexually violated”, “what would happen if I went to HR and told them that a co worker abused me” , and probably the most haunting thought for me “if I went to HR, those guys would think that I am insane and I would lose friends over that. I would have to quit”
So now everyday at work it’s a constant battle of fear of “losing it” with a fear that if I don’t do something about it I will become traumatized. This is by far one of my most extreme ocd thoughts and it has really bothered me and left me with zero down time in my mind. Help?!
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OCD
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I recently started therapy and the memories keep coming up and I don't know how to make it stop. It's making me feel really alone and afraid. If I were to describe how I feel it would be this:
I feel like my body is on fire. Every nerve is awake and screaming at me "you have to fix this!" But I can't make it stop. The memories keep coming and I want to hide and take shelter but can't find any safety or comfort within.
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ptsd
|
I have too many to bother and now my own school cant even keep my own outputs and now I have SO MUCH MISSING WORKS. LIKE ITS NOT JUST TEACHERS STRUGGLING BUT ALSO STUDENTS. Please, for the love of whoever is up there please just please be considerate because those outputs are works of my beaten up brain and yall just going to lose it? Yea don't be surprised ur school has lost a student from suicide but Id rather dont because I still want to see what's the finish line of this miserable life.
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depression
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For example, "listen to your gut".... IE listen to bubbles of foul gases bubbling along a slimy tube full of liquid shit, and being forced around the solids by perastalsis? Disgusting. I cringe in shock and embarrassment for anyone who says this.
Or worse, "Can I pick your brains?" ...WTF!!!??? I can't help but react with horror and recoil when I'm asked that one.
"Oozes sex appeal" ... Oozing is what infected sores do, and that is the opposite of sexually appealing.
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aspergers
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Hi all! I just started taking vyvanse, 20 mg tablets this past week. I am about to turn 40, and this is my first ADHD medication. I was diagnosed almost 20 years ago, but I decided to wing it since I hate medication lol. I feel like Vyvanse has helped me in these past couple of days to have mental clarity, but now it's the fourth day and I feel like it's wearing off a bit. Is that common? Does it maybe have to do with stressors in my life? Today I've been more fidgety and unfocused then I've been in the last couple of days, and I don't want Vyvanse to lose it's efficacy yet because it's helped me more than I've ever thought possible. Is 20 mg too low of a dose? Tell me your thoughts and thank you so much in advance :-)! By the way, I wouldn't say that I got that initial euphoric feeling when I first took it. I just felt clear headed for the first time in my life which, in and of itself, was quite euphoric I guess.
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ADHD
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Any others have these both? I'm so mildly autistic that in most situations i would pass for an NT. It's the panic that's fucked up my life, thankfully i've found out that i can live normal life with sedatives.
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aspergers
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Have any of you had success with vitamin D supplementation? I've been reading about the correlation between vitamin D deficiency and anxiety disorders, in general. (OCD is a type of anxiety disorder, of course.) I'll link some of the studies I've read down below. Objectively speaking, I find this to be fascinating. Personally speaking, I have always had issues with low vitamin D.
Ten years ago, my vitamin D was tested and the result was 19 ng/l. My doctor prescribed 2,000 IU of vitamin D. I will admit, I felt an improvement when I took it. Then after some years, of course I fell out of the habit.
As of last year, when COVID hit, I started supplementing with 3,000 IU of vitamin D (I ran this by my doctor - she said it was ok). I've been on it for 12 months. I just recently had my D tested for the first time in ten years. According to my test, the "normal" range is 30 to 80 ng/l. Mine is 37 ng/l. So, with 3000 IU, I'm just barely at the lower end of normal. I asked my doctor about increasing to 4,000 IU. She said that dosage is considered safe for my height and weight. (5,000 IU is typically the max.)
It could be a placebo effect or it may be a legitimate effect... but I am noticing an uptick in my energy levels and overall mood. I can't say this would "cure" OCD, but I do feel more like I have the faculties and wherewithal to better cope with it. Does that make sense?
Have any of you had your vitamin D levels tested? Are you deficient? Even if addressing that doesn't help your OCD, it can alleviate many other mood related issues. Beyond that, you may be getting ahead of a problem with bone density as you age.
Links on OCD and vitamin D. I try to only use legitimate studies as sources:
*"Based on the present findings, we conclude that the serum levels of bone metabolic turnover markers, including 25-(OH) D3, phosphorus, calcium, and PTH, may be associated with serum ASO titers, age of onset, and clinical severity in PANDAS-related OCD cases. The vitamin D status may be associated with increasing oxidative stress due to recurrent infectious attacks in PANDAS patients."*
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5353234/
*"Higher levels of anxiety, depression and internalizing problems but not atypicality were associated with lower levels of vitamin D. Vitamin D insufficiency may relate to higher levels of anxiety and depression, in turn contributing to the elevated risk of psychosis in this population."*
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5922262/
*"Furthermore, studies have demonstrated VD as an essential coenzyme in the synthesis of monoamines such as norepinephrine and dopamine."*
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/brb3.1760
If you decide to try vitamin D supplementation, please get tested for a vitamin D deficiency first. Not every person with OCD will have a deficiency. Anxiety can be caused by multiple factors. Get tested. Talk to your doc. Then the doctor can advise you on dosage if need be.
Has anyone else been tested and come up deficient? Just curious for the sake of comparison.
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OCD
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i was diagnosed with anxiety / OCD / and signs of depression. i’m basically have contamination OCD. none of my family members understand what i’m going through and neither do my friends. to be honest they make fun of me most of the time or get mad at me for being anxious.
ever since covid started, i developed contamination OCD and i’m terrified 24/7. it’s so exhausting. i’ve damaged my hands so much by washing them constantly, that i needed medication to get them back to normal and they haven’t seen any progress. i’m afraid i’ve damaged them too far beyond repair.
i’m constantly afraid. afraid to go out, afraid to touch something that might be dirty, afraid to infect my family and have one of them pass away. i’m so tired of being afraid. i have no one to talk to and this is eating me up inside. it’s so exhausting to be afraid everyday.
i always wonder if i’ll go back to being a normal person again.
i don’t know what to do. i think i just wanted to post hoping someone could relate
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OCD
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We’ve been together two years and he has been so supportive of my cptsd and anxiety baggage. Unfortunately, I am sometimes triggered by his fidgeting and pacing. One day I asked him to sit down because he was making me nervous and he said “I’m sorry. I have adhd.” This was not news to me, but it clicked that i had been prioritizing my symptoms over his. He’s so good at working around his adhd that I don’t even notice it. I want to do better and comfort him the way he has so diligently comforted me. I think I do a pretty good job as he expresses gratitude for what I do to try and help him. I’d love any tips to show him that he is unconditionally accepted. Thanks ❤️
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ADHD
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Hello all!
My son has not been diagnosed with ADHD, but we are fairly certain he has it. We are seeking help from an Educational Diagnostician at school and also from a LPC and doctor outside of school, but we just got the ball rolling on that and we haven't hit the ground running yet.
I am in no way seeking medical advice from this post. I am coming to y'all today as a parent who wants to help him. How can I help him in these next few months not feel like he is always in trouble for being unable to focus? How can I help him focus, if at all? Can you share some positive or even negative experiences that you may remember as a child that could help me help him? I just want him to succeed and I feel like we have done everything we can at home, but it's entirely possible I am wrong.
His lack of focus at school has effected him to the point that his teacher has put him at his desk away from all of the other groups of kids. This in turn created an environment where the other kids are singling him out more often and it makes him over react to simple situations. She calls me or messages me almost every day to tell me what he's doing wrong.
I feel so lost.
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ADHD
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I'm like King Midas but at least gold has some value, what value does shit have? I wish I was into scat or knew someone who was, then I might be worth something, but right now the only value I have is making friends laugh through either self destruction or stupid stickers I make. I always ruin every fucking thing good in my life, every friendship and every opportunity and everything, I just curbstomp it and piss on its grave. I always say I wanna die, that's stupid, I don't, I just don't wanna live like this. I wanna be something but I can't, even if I became something I'd fuck that up too. And life is coming at me so fast, I wanna go back, I'm so scared, I don't know what to do. I can't even hold down a job when I don't need it, I have necessities, what about when I don't? I'm just gonna die or be a fucking bum, like so many people say I'm destined to be. I have so many goals, I wanna do so much, but none of it is realistic, I'm gonna die completely unfulfilled, I'm gonna be forgotten in 100 years. I've been to cemeteries and it's so weird to think all those graves are people, all those names were someone, and they're right there below me, but I know nothing of them. That's gonna be me, I'm just gonna be another meaningless name, I don't even want fame or anything but I just wanna make something of myself, I hate being so useless. The universe is so large though, I don't even know how to comprehend it, so nothing I do will ever matter anyways, I don't know why I should try. All this shit keeps hitting me and I get this shitty wave of dread and my chest hurts and I hate it, but it happens over and over all day every day, I'm used to it. I don't know where the fuck I'm going with this, I just wanna make it all stop, I wanna stop being such a worthless reject. Fuck.
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depression
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Just to find out they are actually very very autistic.
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aspergers
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Hi there, been lurking for a while and this is my first post. I’m not officially diagnosed, but for several years I’ve suspected that I am on the spectrum (lots of sensory issues as a child, emotional difficulty dealing with change/the unexpected, I’m a very literal person). I’m now also wondering if my positional behavior might be related to possibly being on the spectrum.
I walk on my tiptoes a lot of the time when I’m barefoot. I also find myself almost constantly doing “t-rex arms” when I’m standing, with my arms bent at the elbow and my hands dangling down. When I sit I often fold my hands inward at the wrist. When I do the dishes or am cooking I always find myself leaning my stomach against the sink/counter, as if I can’t balance on my own. Sometimes when I stand I balance in weird positions, like having one foot stacked on top of the other. I do all of these things subconsciously, without realizing I’m doing it, and I try to correct myself because I find these positions really embarrassing. I also am pretty clumsy (drop my phone everyday, shoulder check doorways, etc.) and have difficulty distinguishing left-right.
I was wondering if anyone else has similar experiences with weird physical posture/positioning, and if this could be related to being on the spectrum. Thanks!
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aspergers
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I am getting back into lifting after a hiatus, and I have been noticing that the day AFTER I lift, my ADHD is much worse. I don't think it's a sleep thing, because I always get 8+ hours of sleep per night, that is to say I don't feel fatigued.
But I think when I'm sore and my body is in recovery, my ADHD is worse. Has anyone had any similar experiences?
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ADHD
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I’m guessing this is an OCD thing, my doctor said I have “OCD tendencies” and prescribed me Buspar not only for my generalized anxiety but also to help with the OCD.... so... do you ever just want to start over on something? Like I’ve made and deleted multiple Reddit and other social media accounts because they just didn’t feel “right”. Whatever that’s supposed to be. I suppose this has something to do with perfectionism.... not only do I want to start over social media-wise, if an item I own has flaws I want a “do over” with that too... recently I bought one of those pin display bags with the clear vinyl (?) window on it, it somehow got a scratch on the window that irks the shit out of me and makes me want to buy a whole new bag even though the one I have is perfectly functional despite the scratch. I tried to fix it but it’s not something that can be rubbed or wiped off... anyways....
Who else feels like this? What can I do to cope with it and stop wanting to constantly start over? I have the urge to delete this post too.... ughhh
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OCD
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I'm not saying all people with depression are failures. I certainly am though. It's difficult to say whether or not I'm a failure because I'm depressed or depressed because I'm a faiure. I suppose it doesn't matter much, but there's a different feeling between those two ways of looking at things.
Being a failure because I'm depressed is easier to cope with. I have something to direct blame towards. Life has been unfair to me before. But the net result of being depressed for so long has been that I've made poor decisions that made things worse. I've been unable to work harder and endure more harships and carry myself with dignity in such a way that I can succeed.
Being depressed because I'm a failure leaves room for improvement. That if only I can address the failures, I'd no longer be depressed. But my depression is more than just being upset at myself for achieving so little. Many times I've ruined a good thing by being depressed.
So it couldn't be either. One would exist without the other, but they work together very efficiently. So things never get better and I can only learn to cope with a more difficult situation.
At this point, I don't think I can ever recover. I've built up so many bad memories and negative thoughts that I can't go a singe day without analyzing a particular aspect of my failure/depression. As I'm getting over one mental obsticle, I'm discovering/uncovering another.
So maybe there's no point to even asking the question. What's worth noting is that I can't expect just one thing to go right to get better. This is probably just who I am and who I'll always be. I was willing to give up on myself and am living the result...this is exactly the line of thinking that keeps me as a depressed failure.
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depression
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I’m so scared I don’t know what to do, I do my compulsions all day and night I spend literally hours and hours of my day and I can’t stop no matter what I do. I try the therapy techniques for it but the Meds aren’t helping me at all, so it’s hard for me to do them. I’m about to break down again.
I physically cannot stop myself from doing the compulsions over 100 times I am taking cymbalta and risperadol and they do not work whatsoever. My psychiatrist just quit and I can’t see her at her private practice until December, so in the meantime I’m seeing my primary care on Friday, but he doesn’t know much.
My god how to make it stop!!! It needs to stop!!! I think my previous marijuana used damaged my brain and contributed to this because it was never like this before. I also take stimulants for my ADHD. I can’t take this anymore someone please help. I cannot even restrain myself from doing the same compulsion.
Also reading Responses on here is very hard for me because I also have reading OCD which takes up my life. I have to delete texts immediately and rip up pieces of paper that I read just so I don’t read it 1000 times over again. Everything’s worse now since I’ve been having drug withdrawals the last 2 months so haven’t slept basically in 2 months too. My Tourette’s in hand is also going nuts, she said that these meds would help I’m on such a high dose
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OCD
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Today I remembered I forgot my friend's birthday. My friend of 23 years who is basically like a sister to me. Whose birthday was 5 days ago.
It wasn't even like it slipped my mind. I just forgot she existed for weeks and only just now remembered and it makes me feel so incompetent and frustrated.
I texted her and she's not mad at all and was basically just amused and said she was 'waiting when I'd realise' and it's just soooo frustrating that I apparently mess up so often that everyone seems to expect it.
Anyone on here relate? I need comfort that at least i'm not the only one 🙃
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ADHD
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How do you think?
I have aphantasia meaning I can't think in pictures. Can't imagine anything really. If you say imagine an apple I think the word apple. The most I get is somehow the feeling of an apple (or whatever I'm trying to imagine) if that makes sense.
But I also don't really have an inner voice. Or hear anything in my mind. It's very hard to describe. My thoughts are sort of just there but if I don't grab hold of one it's all a big slippery jumble.
I usually tell myself my thoughts in the sense that I move my tongue as if actually speaking (again, no inner voice) but it's annoying and exhausting and very slow.
I feel like I have so much going on in my head at any given time but I don't really know what it is.
So how is it for you? I've heard of people seeing pictures in their mind and people talking about their thoughts like radio stations.
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ADHD
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I've had OCD for over 40 years, and for the most part I've been able to function without too much trouble, I've developed coping strategies. I've tried many SSRIs and they don't help, but with coping strategies I've been okay. Then Covid hit, still mostly okay working from home. Now I have to work with the public, and cases skyrocketing I'm really struggling with anxiety. I'm on anti anxiety meds for a short term band-aid, but it's not enough. Does therapy help? If yes, how do I find a good therapist?
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OCD
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After talking to a lot people having the so called OCD, i dont think ive got the same illness.
Ive only managed to be able to work one year since the onset of my illness in 2009 (with a lot of medication)
Last day, i talked to a woman having ocd since the age of 12, and she has been able to work full time more than 7 years without medication.
i mean this cant be possible, im even struggling to live with ocd , working is out of control
And the girl managed to work unmedicated 7 years with the so called pure o
Im i a fucking lazy guy ?
Im starting to doubt a lot about my personnality
i mean i struggled a lot these past years to be a somehow normal dude, and ive been diagnosed with pure o, but i really really dont think i ve the same illness than all these other guys out there
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OCD
|
English is not my first language and my brain is not functioning at rhe moment so I apologize for the mistakes. I'm to tired to correct them.
I (40f) am diagnosed with ADHD and have been taking Vyvanse 50mg for about 3 years. Vyvanse changed my life and I have been functioning overall much better since starting taking it.
But here is my problem. My ADHD has been so bad lately.
I feel like I'm not connected to the ground somehow. Floating. It takes me forever to go shopping for groceries. I ramble and go off topic when I speak. I find myself suddenly awere that I have talking for minutes when a simple short answer would have been appropriate. And of course this is the time that I have meetings with outside persons about important stuff.
Every morning before work I say to myself "Be quiet, don't interupt and act like an adult" You can guess how that is going. I can not control it.
I feel like my coworkers hate me and I'm tired of this s•it.
My work is pretty hectic and I have been under alot of stress there since Covid and my 13 year old has been dealing with an illness, so I am generally pretty stressed out and that prob contributing to this mess.
I don't have much time for excersise or self care, but I take walks everyday.
How do your symtoms change under stress and how do you manage?
Have you experienced your symptoms to fluctuate much over periods of time?
How can I make this stop?
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ADHD
|
Anything helps
I feel terrible for asking strangers on the internet but have no outlets for help. Im a 21 year old engineering student. I just started new antidepressants and anxiety meds. I lost my job a couple days ago because a member of management who was off the clock put their hands on me and tried to detain me over my mask which was up. I asked them to not put their hands on me and told them to f off which was wrong on my part but I was panicking. I reported it to my managers who were working and the store manager decided to fire me over what I had said. Im in the process of filing a report to HR and ethics as well as seeing a lawyer to see if they violated any of my rights with the termination. I need some help getting through this tough time as I live check to check until I can get another job. I am trying to get my job back because Its hard finding work flexible with my school schedule. Anything would help. Thank you
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depression
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I can't really find information about this when I try to search for it. All that comes up is PTSD and nightmares. I'm not having nightmares tho, most of the time. What I am having are insanely vivid and realistic dreams. I take prazosin and have been for a while. It helps for the most part but I still have breakthrough dreams occasionally and they are so fucking disorienting. Honestly, I just want to know if anyone else has this going on. It's the one symptom I have from the acute event that bothers me the most. I never did this before.
The dreams are usually about the most mundane things possible but they seem so realistic that I have trouble figuring out of they happened or not when I wake up.
For example, last night I dreamed I had a large secondary blanket balled up on my bed that I knocked over. (I did not on either account.) And I literally in real life reached over the side of my bed to grab it, couldn't find it, turned on the lights, got on my knees in the floor to look for it under the bed until it occurred to me that I only have my tardis blanket and it was on the bed. 😑
I had another one about work where I was on a report for being on my work email too much? Which is not a thing but I was worried about it when I logged in today, I can tell you that.
Those two aren't even the only ones from last night. They were just random little vignettes in my brain that seemed like they actually happened. This one symptom I have is the most disorienting out of them all. The random panic attacks are better. The flashbacks are better. I even made it through my traumaversary okay.
I just need to know this isn't just me, I guess. My therapist says it's good that I can take the time to figure out what's real or not. But it bothers me that I have to take the time to figure out what's real or not. And sometimes it's hard to do.
And again, these aren't nightmares. They're just random things for the most part. I'm worried that this symptom won't ever go away.
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ptsd
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I have always had a very difficult time to admit that my mother was physically and emotionally abusive towards me in my childhood and I have some traumatic memories about her. She was also emotionally very distant which caused me to look for other mother figures through out my childhood. She did take good care of us, we had new clothes, healthy food, and she bought us new toys. She was and still is very protective towards us. Almost every time she did hit us she came into the room later crying and apologizing. It was very confusing to me as a child. I later learned that she also has ptsd and other problems from her traumatic childhood. The thing that bothers me is that sometimes I purposefully try to hurt her feelings. Like for example not answering to her message or only answering with one word even though I may see that she wants to get a longer answer than "ok" or "maybe" Afterwards I feel guilty, angry and sad and great pity towards her. I don't know why I do that. I know that she already feels very guilty about the physical and emotional abuse and she said herself that she will never forgive herself. I just feel very evil when I try to hurt her. Like I said I have no idea why I'm doing this. Does anyone else do this kind of thing?
(in case there is a typo, English isn't my mother language)
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ptsd
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[https://www.irishtimes.com/culture/film/music-people-with-autism-can-be-remarkable-without-being-like-rain-man-1.4480393](https://www.irishtimes.com/culture/film/music-people-with-autism-can-be-remarkable-without-being-like-rain-man-1.4480393)
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aspergers
|
I have a pretty intense job (network engineering) but my OCD helps me at times while at work because I can channel my obsessive energy into my work, in a way it helps me tune out my obsessions and compulsions during the day and just work.
I pride myself on not letting my OCD affect the quality of my work, but inevitably there are times where I act a bit odd or do something different that has caused my coworkers and boss to raise their eyebrows, never is it anything major but enough that a few of them ask and occasionally I confess my situation, my boss being one of them who I have told about my OCD, he's pretty insufferable but I know that a lot of us have bosses like that.
I was having an absolutely crazy day today, much of what I was doing was things that made my boss look good... when I work I usually feel like I'm working for my employer and our common goals but at times I feel like I'm really working more than anything to just make my boss look good, today was one of those days. He had me doing everything, coordinating with contractors, supervising employees, still keeping up with my normal responsibilities, but overall I was getting things done so he could turn around and tell others he had done it himself.
Earlier today I cracked my phone screen on my personal phone which I use for work a lot, as the day went on it became a hindrance to its operation to the point I was setting up an appointment to drop it off at one of those repair places. I remarked on how inconvenient it was in front of my boss while standing in a lobby space of a building with him, he said "let me see it, I bet I could fix it", I stupidly handed it over to him, and he proceeded to drop it repeatedly screen down on the carpeted floor and then started rubbing it screen down back and forth on the carpet. There was some "fix" for malfunctioning iPad screens like that years ago and he said he was emulating it, but he also was clearly enjoying how uncomfortable it made me, I tried to grab it and he continued doing it while keeping me from grabbing it, he laughed hysterically as he did.
When I finally got the phone back I was gutted and walked away without saying anything... after all that I found some cleaning products and tried to clean it enough that I felt like it was OK to carry around with me and just tuned out my OCD brain for the rest of the workday (I was at work for like another 12 hours after that). I finally just got home and now the OCD is setting in, and as much as I feel stupid about the OCD I feel so angry and disrespected too, I feel taken advantage of.
I work so hard to keep OCD out of my work, I even tuned out my concerns about this specific event to finish out the day strong, but at what cost... now when I am at home on my own time I obsess, now when I am at home on my own time I clean, now when I am at home on my own time I stress out over my boss being an asshole and dirting up my personal property for his own entertainment. My phone is my life in so many different ways, I touch it constantly so I try so hard to keep it clean to just allow me to use it without issue, now I am considering replacing it completely because I won't be able to get it out of my head where it has been.
I've dealt with so much stuff over the years, I'm in my late 20s now and I've had OCD since I was 6 (diagnosed then), but this one kills me, I shouldn't have to deal with this, I should not be subjected to such insensitive behavior and for entertainment of others too. I had my OCD situation so under control lately and now I feel like I don't again, and normally I always feel like I have myself to blame when I loose control but this time it feels so unnecessary and cruel.
I just had to get this situation out in a place others would understand, so thanks for reading, in conclusion people can really suck sometimes, and people who already suck all the time can really be massive piles of garbage.
Edit: Just adding this as I forgot to mention, I typed this after a 16 hour day and was very tired, but my boss did apologize, but it was in more of a casual like "oh my bad, haha" way, when he said it he clearly sounded embarrassed and knew he was wrong but he has shown a willingness to lie to just about anyone to maintain status quo as I see the things he says to others so I find myself quite skeptical of his apology as I imagine he said it to attempt to calm the waters during a very busy day for me where he needed me on my a game.
So still a shifty person for sure but I guess in hindsight he at least offered a half assed apology to keep me from being immediately upset with him and get me to continue working.
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OCD
|
this is my first post on reddit.
i would like to ask the question on how to truly be happy, i have never wanted to admit it to myself but i’m severely depressed. i don’t want to sound like a downer but i can’t help notice all the experiences and joys i seem to miss in life because of the fact that i’m sad all the time.
i live alone, go to class, go to work, eat something, and then sleep. it seems I’m just repeating the basic things in life every single day. with the friends i do have i feel like a background character in life to them, not apart of the team or a mainstay in one’s life.
​
the thought of leaving the earth though isn’t something that has ever been in my personal depression equation, as i feel that something of that matter would not benefit anyone simply because the gift of life is something that should be celebrated.
​
i just feel so lost in who i am and what i am to others, only because i don’t feel worth or value in myself because of how i’ve been treated by the ones i care about the most. to feel like a waste of space is not a good feeling and i just want to ask for help because i am sick of feeling undervalued.
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depression
|
I had a therapist - the one that diagnosed my depression was working with me for a couple of years. And when it came to one of the things I really wanted to work on was my romantic relationships.
I know I have a legion of issues I am well aware of and constantly working on, but there is only so much I could do. So my therapist basically tells me to resolve my issue I need to take my left hand and then use just that to rip my right arm out of the socket with no painkillers or tools.
I was told I had to get over my problems when people are extremely ignorant and my overall response to just general stupidity - it's not good. At best I can stay neutral and can not mask my total lack of enthusiasm or all of my irritation for too long. I get we all are good at some things, not so good at others - but I can't help having certain basic expectations.
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aspergers
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Sure, being called an ableist slur hurts, but that'll NEVER hurt more than trying to be a decent person like everyone else only to still end up with others complaining that you made them feel "uncomfortable", misconstruing your different yet still harmless behavior as some form of harassment. And once that happens, you're absolutely expected to concur with them, and they'll keep insisting until you do so or leave the conversation for good. Growing up, you were always taught by your parents and other trusted adults to take responsibility if you mess up and not make excuses. But it turns out, which you learn the hard way, getting in trouble is less about what you do and more about how they perceive it. And you always end up facing consequences that weren't even supposed to happen in the first place, but I guess none of that shit matters, since anything we say or do are automatically deemed unacceptable simply because that's how the other party perceived it.
You're being misrepresented as some Chris Chan-esque freak when really your psychology is a little different from theirs. Tell me, when was the last time the R-word had that sort of destructive power?
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aspergers
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ive always brought lighter when emptying my bladder or bowels in the restroom and become an arsonist to distract myself from the thought of taking a dump. effective but not to a satisfactory extent.
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OCD
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Hey all, I’ve recently been in a particularly bad rut of anxiety over my OCD and I haven’t been able to eat in about 2 days.
I’ve been able to keep down liquids but I haven’t haven’t had solid food since Monday afternoon.
I haven’t been able to throw up anything and I’ve tried several times but just end up dry heaving.
I’m wondering how many others have dealt with this type of nausea on account of OCD or similar mental disorders.
I will say I have had longer bouts of not feeling nauseous today but I am still worried that eating will cause me to throw up.
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OCD
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Even if I manage to distract myself somehow, my brain will go "Are you thinking of that thought right now?" or "You feeling better now?" and it immediately reminds me of the thought I'm referring to.
This has been going on ever since my symptoms started. How do I deal with it?
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OCD
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I'm very hesitant to relate the more personal aspects to the doctor, and I'm also slightly nervous that I will be dismissed again. Recently I've been experiencing serious anxiety which has stopped me being able to sleep, my mood has been swinging from confident and happy to miserable and without hope. I've also got the typical ADHD symptoms of racing thoughts and an inability to focus and remember short term information.
How much of this should I share with the doctor. And how do I ensure that I am taken seriously.
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ADHD
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so, it was over a cartoon character, but his voice actor changed and when I noticed that, it was like I've lost my hiperfixation, and this made me very, very sad. i know it seems dumb, but it was something special to me, and that sudden change really hit me hard. have you been thru something like this?
is it normal? gosh, I feel so stupid, yet so sad :(
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ADHD
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I am not officially diagnosed but will be in the process soon. If it turns out that I have Aspergers, I wonder how my mom will react to how she treated me in childhood.
I have always despised eggs. Specifically, scrambled eggs. My memories of them start when I was about 4. I remember the smell, texture, and especially the taste being absolutely repulsive. Nonetheless, about once a week my mom made me eat them because we were poor and she didn’t think I should’ve been picky. I would sit at the table for almost an hour sometimes trying to eat them because it was so hard to process the bite. I would be literally gagging and I still had to finish my plate.
When I got a little older, my mom stopped forcing me to eat them. But I remember my first restaurant job, we had breakfast and served scrambled eggs. It actually took me a couple of months to be able to tolerate the smell without gagging. Before that, if I talked about scrambled eggs and how my mom would make me eat them, I would gag at the thought.
I look back at this now as a joke and laugh it off with my friends. It’s still funny to me to say but in all honesty, I was traumatized by scrambled eggs.
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aspergers
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What is going oooonnnn. I set an alarm for 8, snoozed it. Woke up at 10, took my adderall, fell back asleep till 11. Im still dragging ass.
Whats going on? Why is my sleep all fucked up suddenly? I am on my period right now if that makes a difference? Im gonna try doing some exercise but that seems like a mountain in itself.
Its been like this since I upped my dose to 20 mg. So so tired. Should I go down to 15 maybe?
UPDATE: I realize that my 20mg is made by a different manufacturer. I was taking 10mg Rhodes and now its 20mg Lannett.
Saw some others posts about Lannett and they all had the same issues. Extremely lethargic. Just got in contact with my nurse and theyre gonna ask my doctor to switch me to a 15mg with the Rhodes manufacturer.
Crazy how these generics are so wildly different.
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ADHD
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Is this one of the more ludicrous OCD fears out there?
Nonetheless, it is something I've been struggling with.
Can anyone comment in one way or another on this topic?
I recently had an occasion where flatulence had to pass just as I was taking off my trousers, and I'm worried about the fact that there was no clothing barrier between myself and the flatulence.
I'm worried I might have spread something harmful everywhere, or somewhere. I don't know what to think.
Alarm bells are going off in my head, and I have some vague fear that I've ruined my clothes or nearby objects....or whatever....I mean, I went to bed in the same trousers I had taken off, what if I spread particles around in my own bed? What's going to happen?
Should I be worried? I am already worried already but should I be?
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OCD
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hello, i've just been diagnosed with adhd-c and starting tomorrow, i'll be taking 5mg of dexedrine daily, probably bumping up to 5mg 2x a day in a few weeks. i haven't found a lot online about side effects and i forgot to ask my doctor when i had the chance.
if anybody has been on dexedrine i'd really like to know if there are side effects i should expect. thanks! also go drink some water.
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ADHD
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alprazolam and clonazepam make it worse for me, lorazepam has no effect on depression. I have gad comorbid with depression.
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depression
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Where all four walls are playing the most absolutely horrible scenes your brain can conjure up, over and over. No matter where you go or what you do, you're still trapped in this theater except no one else can see what you are seeing. You might close your eyes for a few minutes for relief but as soon as you open them again, right back to the same horrible images. And you definitely don't want to be in this theater, but somehow you're locked in with no way out.
At least this is what mine feels like to me. Anyone relate?
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OCD
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This is really long, I would appreciate it if you read the whole think thoroughly. As you know with pure ocd, every detail matters to me.
I’m 17, F
I’m depressed and struggle a lot with ocd and health issues. This has made me have suic*dal ideation for the past year and more. I’m really tired all the time, and I love sleeping because it’s an escape for me. My mom can’t stand seeing me in bed constantly. I’ve explained to her WHY I stay in bed but she never really agrees, she always seems to be somewhere else mentally when I tell her the reason is because I’m depressed and suic*dal, and when I get bad ocd triggers I just want to sleep because then I can’t feel anything.
She gets upset when I’m not doing things, when I don’t move around or clean my room, etc. but today she lost it. She was really angry and yelled. I told myself to stay calm because I struggled in the past with intrusive thoughts when I’m angry and just struggled a LOT with anger and ocd. Whenever I get angry I’m scared that I’ll lose control and hurt someone. I never have, even before ocd, But it’s still an everyday terror for me.
Normally I struggle with harm ocd with my mom and family, like my dog and some of my friends. Intrusive thoughts and all in the moments where I’m the calmest and happiest. But I’ve gotten intrusive thoughts when I’m upset too. I know because I’m always thinking to myself whenever I’m angry at her “I feel bad for my mom, it’s got to be hard to deal with all that she deals with so I understand why she gets so upset sometimes.” Then I’ll get up to help her but have intrusive thought like when I have someone in my hands or pick it up. One I was helping her clean some tools and felt upset because I didn’t want to do it and was already upset by some things she said, but I helped her after she told me to because I didn’t want her to have to do it by herself, regardless of my annoyance. When I picked up a tool, I got an intrusive thought about you know, hitting her with it. Instant disgust. I didn’t want that thought. I wasn’t thinking anything bad about her before, in fact I was sympathizing with her and decided to give up my stubborness and help her, but the moment I walked past her I got the thought. It happened again today.
But my brain is telling me it wasn’t intrusive. Some of my biggest fears come from harm ocd. I don’t even want to think an offensive thought, let alone a violent or harmful one. They terrify me. My stomach drops to my feet and I feel like the world is ending every time I get a harm intrusive thought and every time I’m willing to give up my life if it ensures her safety. I’m willing to give up my life if it guarantees I’m not a danger to her. But the thing is, I know how much this would destroy her, so I don’t do it. I want to, all the time. But it would hurt her so much so I don’t.
Today, like I said, she yelled at me for sleeping in and was really really pissed about it, talking about how tired she is of doing everything alone and that I need to do something other than sitting around doing nothing, etc. I held in my anger, because I won’t yell at her. I can’t. Not only is she my mom but that would confirm my worst ocd fears about myself. So I obeyed. I did everything she told me to do and I was angry during it, trust me, but I didn’t express it or thinking anything. I was focused on keeping my mind empty the whole time so I wouldn’t thinking anything wrong like “shut up mom.” Or worse, “fuck you”. Before ocd I used to think those rude things, like shut up and fuck you when she really REALLY upset me. But I’d usually be crying my eyes out at the same time because it hurt me.
So I focused really hard. I couldn’t stop all thoughts so a few came in. One of them was after she said “I’m so tired of doing all this by myself it’s too much!” And I just thought “well I definitely should k*ll myself then huh! Would make your life so much easier!” In a very like passive-aggressive snarky way. But I just pushed that one aside because I thought, “no obviously not. That would hurt her so much. She loves you and is struggling with your illness too along with all the other burdens she has (ex. Us not having a father) so k*lling yourself would only make her life a million times worse, so you won’t do it.” Idk why I think those things but I’ve thought it a lot. When she makes me angry I just think “I’ll k*ll myself then!” Since I’m already suic*dal but I’ve never said it to her, ever. I don’t want to manipulate or abuse her at any point in my life so I never say these things out loud, ever and never ever have before.
She was still really upset and saying things loudly and she told me to get up and help me put away the dishes. I was like holy shit no I can’t be near anything that could give me an intrusive thought, because I will have it right now. Like it so much harder to deal with/control my own thoughts when I’m angry so being around anything that could be weaponized is like I’m asking for horrible thoughts. I really didn’t want to but I got up and started putting everything away. I did it all gently and slowly as to not provoke any thoughts. Like when I do certain things in a certain way, they bring up intrusive thoughts. Even when I’m not upset. If I pick up a fork too quickly EVEN WHEN IM NOT ANGRY, I’ll get an intrusive thought about hurting myself with it or something like that. So I definitely wasn’t going to provoke those thoughts when I’m angry at my mom. DEFINITELY NOT.
so I did everything slowly and calmly. But everything was a triggering thought. I opened a cabinet door without force, like calmly and normally and it opened a little too far and my brain gave me an image of the door hitting my mom. I didn’t even open the door thinking that way and I stopped the door from opening any further instantly, but the thought happened anyway. I didn’t want the thought or intentionally think it, it just came. And everything was okay, I was putting away the stuff trying to be gentle about it and just trying to let go of my anger and want to cry.
I picked up a few plastic plates, bowls, cups. No thoughts at all. Everything was fine. I was somewhat sympathizing with her even tho I was angry. I understood her frustration, I know it’s hard for her and I didn’t blame her for getting upset, even though it made me upset too. I helped her out and my mind was blank, until I picked up a glass plate that was heavy and got an intrusive thought about hitting her with it. I felt it in my arms that time. It felt different, but like every other intrusive thought before I INSTANTLY felt disgust and just internally yelled “NO.” Because I never ever wanted to do that. I don’t want to hurt her when I’m angry. I don’t want to hurt her when I’m not angry. I don’t want to hurt her when she misunderstands me and says things that really sting. I’m fact, she said something about Christianity (I’m not a Christian, in fact I despise it considering all the things that have happened thus far) that hurt and pissed me off yesterday and I thought. “I wish she could just understand what saying that means to me so I can forgive her and we can have a mutual respect with religion.” I WANTED to be good with her. I don’t want to be angry with her, and I don’t want to think these thoughts. Sure I’m angry as hell and I’m really pissed that her yelling triggered me as much as I did. I’m not speaking to her because I don’t feel I have anything to say to her other than wanting to blame her for ruining my week by yelling. But I don’t want to further upset her.
I’m upset with her. I’m pissed, I’m hurt, and I do somewhat angrily blame her for causing this anxiety I have now. But I want to cool down completely before I talk to her. Right now I feel that I could be disrespectful with my attitude so I’m avoiding her and doing homework until I feel that I won’t have a bad attitude around her. I feel immature about the way I want to act, like I want to tell her that I blame her and that I’m upset, and I want to tell her it’s not fair that she gets to yell and do all that when she’s upset but I don’t get to even though I’m stressed and on the edge constantly. I want to raise my voice and say it’s not fair, and get all my anger out. But I don’t want to get it out physically.
I kinda want to yell, but I won’t. It’s the wrong thing to do and I won’t. I do want to be rude and snarky and grumpy the rest of the day, and I think I’ll struggle with that for a while too. But I don’t WANT to hurt her. At least I don’t think?
My brain is trying to convince me that my want to have a bad attitude with her and tell her “I blame you!” It’s telling me that my want to verbally get out my frustration and hurt right now, and before, is abusive behavior or tendencies. I don’t want to tell her anything horrible. It’s more just like I want to raise my voice back at her and show her that she hurt me, (WITH WORDS ONLY) but I know that the moment I do that I’d regret everything. No matter what I want to say, like “why is it fine for you to yell at me but the moment I show a bad attitude you get super upset again? What’s that all about??”
That right there ^^^ is sort of the only thought I can say is my own right now, because I do wonder that. I don’t think it’s right for her to yell and upset me and the moment I show any bad attitude she’d get mad again. I’m not saying I should be able to yell at her. I don’t think that’s right even if she yelled at me. I just think if she gets so upset that it hurts me and I respond in a disrespectful way or something, she shouldn’t then get MORE angry or blame me. I’d want her to realize that she made me feel a certain way and that the certain way I feel makes me react in sort of a disrespectful way, then she’d stay calm and react in a mature way instead of getting defensive to my reaction. (even though none of this has actually happened and I’m only imagining it)
So that’s what’s happened today. I have a therapy appointment on Tuesday but the only thing that therapist will tell me is to pick up a plate when I’m angry and “see that nothing bad will happen!” Which I absolutely do not want to do. I don’t want anyone telling me to do exposures when I’m in the heat of anger, I will not go anywhere near anything or anyone when I’m angry as long as I have my own will because that guarantees their safety.
My brain is telling me the plate thought wasn’t intrusive, especially since I ‘felt’ the thought in my arms. I don’t know how to describe it. This has happened before with other things, like sexually with my dog. I have a huge fear of doing a sexual thing to him and sometimes when he comes close to me I feel a sensation in my arms like my own arms want to touch his privates even though I do NOT want to. It happens with so many things. I don’t WANT to do the things but it feels like the sensation in my arms is proof. I don’t know. I feel hopeless. I feel like a danger to my mom right now, and always. I feel like the best way to keep her safe is to move out and go far away, and that the only other option is suic*de.
I want to keep people safe. My worst fear is that I’ll hurt people, especially my mom. And my brain is REALLY, REALLY convincing me that I wanted to hurt her earlier. I can’t get it out of my head.
When I’m angry, I usually feel it in my body. Like am awful tickling itchy sensation in my upper arms and shoulders. I feel it when I’m a little bit frustrated or a LITTLE bit annoyed, and also when I’m really upset. It doesn’t matter the occasion, I just feel it. It sorta feels like a stress sensation but I get it most when I’m angry.
It’s like, I was angry and felt a physical sensation to a harm thought. Isn’t that enough proof that I’m dangerous??
I genuinely cannot convince myself that the thought wasn’t real. All I know is that the instant second I had it, I wanted it gone and wanted myself gone. I wanted to my far away from my mom, so I could keep her safe.
If k*lling myself wouldn’t hurt my mom, I would’ve done it. And I’m really close to doing it now. I’ve thought about it every day. I’ve thought about ways to do it and I even started writing a note. I’m here for help. I’m not here to tell you that I’m gonna do it, I’m here to find a reason not to.
If there’s anything you can provide for me, like your own experiences with harm ocd WHEN ANGRY, please, PLEASE, talk to me. Here in the comments or in a dm. I want to learn how to deal with this better because this isn’t the last time my mom will get mad at me, and it’s not the last time I’ll get mad at her. So please, if you can say anything to help me please do. But please don’t ask me to stay. That’s why I’m here, just please tell me if you’ve felt that sensation before, or if you’ve felt the sensation during an intrusive thought. If you’ve had intrusive harm thoughts when angry, please tell me.
Edit: she was rude to me again and I felt like deleting a nice comment I wrote about her. She’s really on my nerves today but it’s terrifying me bc I’m the moments of angry, I want to be rude back. I want to win the argument but I never do, because she’s the mom which means she’ll always win. I’m so tired of this. I don’t want to be angry as often as I am, but I can’t control it. I can control my actions and I always do, but I feel the anger in my body and I can’t release it ever. Because nothing ever gets better. We have 10 second arguments in front of my cousin and it’s so embarrassing but she always wins because she can say “ENOUGH.” Even if she started it. I’m so scared of losing control. I’m scared that I’ll snap. I’m scared that my anger means I’m dangerous. I’m so done with this. I want to *md my life because it’ll keep everyone safe and I don’t have to feel so pissed at her. The fact that she can sit there unphased while I’m stuck with the embarrassment and anxiety makes me angry and makes me want to be rude with her. I won’t be. Because I’d regret it. But the feeling is there and as much as I despise it having ocd, I can’t help but feel like I want to win with anger. I feel like I can’t even be near her right now because I feel so mad. Just looking at her move out of my peripheral vision makes me feel extremely angry, and I don’t know why. I don’t know if ocd is causing more anger but I feel it in my shoulders and neck and back and it feels awful. I’m considering calling the police so they can take me away because then she’ll be safe
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OCD
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Not by choice lol.
due to switching insurance companies, i had to get a prior authorization for my adhd meds.
\*four times.\*
it kept getting rejected for different reasons, apparently there are a lot of new guidelines for stimulant ADHD medications.
i've probably spent 5 hours on hold in the past 2 weeks, even more if u count the other stuff i've had going on not healthcare related)
​
honestly it hasnt been as bad as i thought it would be, but it still is hard. I started a new job recently after long term unemployed due to lockdowns, and have 3 major surgeries, amongst other things. Its not like \*\*SUPER\*\* demanding, but it's definitely been a challenge. my therapist has been really helpful throughout all of this.
I guess it's good to know that i CAN get by without my medication, but i don't get by \*as well\*. I keep noticing little things that i am forgetting or messing up, i am way more exhausted throughout the day, less motivated, and overall just dysfunctional compared to my medicated self.
so the prior authorization finally got approved. i literally had to get me, my psychiatrist, his secretary, another person who works with them, and a representative from my health insurance, on a conference call, to get these meds approved. everybody was mad at each other for not communicating and overall incompetence. i have never heard professional adults arguing like that, it was kind of epic. my psych literally threatoned to file a complaint, he is old school and has no filter so he says whats on his mind, he was mad that he had to fax all these documents over and over again and then be told that he never sent them.
\*\*TL;DR-\*\* i finally got my f\*cking meds lol.
my health insurance wanted me to try focalin before they fill my ritalin. i looked into it and it might end up being better for me, insterad of 2 pills a day i'll only need one long acting one. It seems that it has less side effects than regular ritalin, and is a bit stronger.
i'm starting it today. kind of nervous, NGL. anybody here have any experience with this particular med?
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ADHD
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Im scared. I’m about to graduate college but I have nothing lined up. I know it’s my own failures and lack of will and ability. Ever since I started my last two years of school, I haven’t had any motivation to do anything. I feel stuck. How can I do better when I feel like I’ve already failed myself?
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depression
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I've never really had physical compulsions before but lately it has started to change. When things get escalated I will physically shake my hands a number of times or or do the according action use action to ease anxiety.
I'm just curious if anyone had never started with physical compulsions but has them now. Why do you think you developed them and how have you gotten them under control if so..
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OCD
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Everyone hears the name Forrest Gump and thinks of "life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.".
What many miss is the evidence of trauma and reaction to trauma.
* Forrest born into a single-parent family fighting poverty
* He's describes as slow-witted, a euphemism for learning disabled.
* suffering painful physical disability from childhood
* He's othered and isolated in his community due to his disabilities
* fighting and overcoming disability by running
* replaced thought with physical activity as a coping mechanism
* Traumatised by war
* Injured in war
* Loss of significant life figures - His Mother - His sweetheart Jenny
* Suffers natural disaster - Hurricane
* When overly challenged by emotional events resorts to physical coping mechanisms and runs backwards and forwards across America.
* His actions repeatedly attributed to other things by observers and his own experience and knowledge ignored
His life experiences are a primer for PTSD if not CPTSD.
I wonder how different the sentimentality around the film would be If it was advertised as a PTSD movie?
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ptsd
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Hi everyone - long story short, I’m in a bit of a rut and could use some tips and advice.
I’m 27 and was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 19. I also deal with depression and anxiety, both of which are treated successfully. I’ve been taking strattera since I was 19 and was prescribed Adderall throughout college, then stopped taking it my senior year -decided with my doctor to start adderall again this past spring.
I take 10mg ER. It was going great for about 7 months. Then a lot of changes happened in my life… I’m living at home after two years living across the country. I ended an internship I had for 8 months. Have been doing job applications half-way then I just leave them. I am tired of being home with my parents. My routine is nonexistent- I’m working gig jobs and making great $$ but I feel like I’m struggling everywhere else.
Maybe I have a vitamin deficiency or something? I’ve napped once or twice a day every day this week. Im on the max dose of Zoloft, so nothing else my doc can do there. Just kind of at a loss here. I was also exercising consistently before I came home and I haven’t been. I’m not sad. I take proper supplements and try to eat a balanced, normal diet. I try my best to avoid citric acid containing foods on my meds… I don’t know what to do.
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ADHD
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hey guys so the past week ish i’ve been suffering with ocd. i have tocd i know i do not wanna be the other gender but there weird thoughts have me in a rough place but anyway i was diagnosed with ocd. and i just had the worst headache and these weird thoughts like “this cat i drew i said to myself what if i made this cat transgender and showed myself how they make kids feel better about it” and i was like.. huh? but i don’t wanna identify as the other gender.. i’m not trans and i have no way of being it but i’m making myself suffer as if i were and i have no ideation of being trans i’ve had harm ocd and hocd prior to this but this is the weirdest it’s gotten.. am i normal
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OCD
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Out of curiosity. I am choosing between a psychologist or a psychiatrist because I would like to do better in college. I’m a 22 year old male, diagnosed with ADHD in 2004 at age 5.
Wouldn't psychiatry be more for people who have severe ADHD, as in it's impacting them negatively on a day-to-day basis? Because my ADHD simply doesn't let me read without quickly wanting to do something else. Whenever I have an assignment from university to work on, I always end up switching tabs or playing games. And then it would take me roughly two hours to remember I have important stuff to get back doing.
However, although ADHD is technically a mental disorder, it's more of an annoying disorder compared to OCD and Bipolar where it's seriously becoming problematic every day and it holds you back, but ADHD is important to get treated for so we can get the job done without being so easily distracted.
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ADHD
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Hi guys! Just recently diagnosed with ADHD at 29 after suspecting it for quite some time and began taking Vyvanse 20mg for the past three days. I’ve noticed I’ve found it significantly easier to do tasks I struggled mightily with before (cleaning apartment, doing laundry, picking up after myself, brushing my teeth), and was able to successfully avoid binge eating at home with a day off on my first night.
The main issue I’m running into is I feel a brief period of clarity, and then I’m struggling mightily to focus due to excessive brain fog. I feel dissociated and unable to critically think, but still feel motivated to complete easy tasks that I normally struggle with. 20mg was the recommended starting dose and I’ve never been on stimulants before. Does this sound like I need a higher dose, or do I need a lower one?
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ADHD
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I like this sub and it's been helpful in the past, but I also find it very overwhelming and pretty triggering at times. So I've not been on here much recently, but I thought I'd try my best to write a slightly positive and encouraging post.
I'll preface this by saying I understand the idea of recovery when it comes to mental illnesses to really be just getting far better and more adept at managing the symptoms of the mental illness or mental health issue, as opposed to fully overcoming or vanquishing it. So even though at the moment I'm finding it hard to feel like I'm making any strides at coping with my OCD, I think it's important to try and look for little bits of progress and growth.
With my own mental illnesses, I'm definitely not in a position where I feel like I'm coping very well at the moment. The symptoms of my OCD, Anxiety and Depression have been really, really challenging for me, especially over the last month, and I've been struggling a lot.
However, I think it's important to stop and reflect on all the ways in which I am still making a bit of progress. So I'm writing this both to challenge the negative and self-critical thoughts I'm experiencing and to hopefully encourage others (if anyone actually reads this) to identify ways in which they're still making progress and to try give themselves more credit, even when it's incredibly hard to see.
So, I have been managing my OCD far better and more effectively since December, even if I often can't appreciate this. I've learnt about the best ways of dealing with obsessive thought cycles and I'm trying my best to implement these strategies.
I've been working on identifying key behaviours to try and gradually change and adapt so that I'm far less reliant on my compulsions and I'm more aware of the ways I'm accidentally fuelling the repetitive cycle of thoughts and behaviours.
I've been slowly learning to recognise intrusive and obsessive thoughts as a symptom of OCD, as a product of my mental illness, rather than constantly obsessing about the meaning and significance of them. This has helped me to understand that responding to the thoughts by trying to unpack or challenge them isn't going to help, as it will just cause me to spiral and be even more overwhelmed by panic, guilt and despair. So instead I'm working on just trying my best to let the thoughts go, to not engage with them and let them flow away. I've made a lil list of some easy soothing and relaxing activities to do when this is especially hard.
In the last 4 months I've made so much progress with my OCD, from opening up to a counsellor several times about some of the most uncomfortable and distressing thoughts (that I never thought I could ever speak about with a professional) to finally managing to get an official diagnosis from a doctor after an incredibly long wait. In the last few sessions of my counselling, I've been able to discuss how best to try and manage the symptoms of OCD with my therapist and last month I put together a pretty thorough mental health plan, which will help in the coming months.
Now that my counselling has finished, which I'm finding very hard, I've also begun trying to get referred for group therapy with other people with OCD, which will hopefully be an important next step.
Through thought records and journalling, I've been able to reflect that I'm not choosing to engage with or to get stuck in distressing and upsetting thought cycles, but rather, its caused by an illness and I'm honestly doing the best I can in very difficult circumstances.
This is helping me to feel less like it's my personal responsibility to **always** be on top of my OCD, because that isn't a fair or healthy expectation to have. It's not compassionate enough to expect myself to be able to avoid spiralling at times and it's definitely not healthy or kind to expect that I won't still have debilitating crashes or periods of intense symptoms when I am struggling with mental illness.
So instead I'm trying to reassure myself that I'm already doing enough and that I'm working hard to gradually make things easier. And that I'll always keep trying too and so ultimately it won't always be like this.
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OCD
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i am currently on 30mg of vyvanse. i have noticed that after a few hours of taking it i start feeling very tired / sleepy / drowsy. the first few hours on the medication is fine and then this suddenly happens. even when i get a good nights sleep i still get tired. i am wondering if anyone else experiences this issue and if there are any solutions to it. would a higher dosage be helpful?
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ADHD
|
Hi everyone,
Is anyone else struggling with ‘home’ noises?(for example: ticking of the heating in your house, clock sounds, people blowing leaves outside). I’m very sensitive to sounds and it really triggers a stress response in my body/fight or flight and feelings of rage. It now kills my sleeping schedule.
For me, noise cancelling doesn’t work yet because I can feel the device sit in my ear or on top of my head too well
and ear plugs don’t help either because the sound of my own blood is annoying.
If you have the golden tip I will forever be grateful
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aspergers
|
I'm asking because I'm considering asking to up the strength on my 20mg ir twice daily. I first got prescribed adderall 20mg xr at 16. Then at 17 it was 20mg ir twice daily. I'm now 8 months from turning 22 and still taking 20mg ir daily
Thing is I can take 1 adderall and go to sleep a hour later Maybe even 2 and still go to sleep a hour later.
I have never bought adderall or amps off the street and I never used them all up and gone without adderall for days or weeks.
I might wait until I'm 25 maybe 26 years old at least to then ask my docter about changing the strength to two 30mg twice daily.
But here's where my question comes to play what age or how long until you got switched by your Dr to the 30mgs twice or even 3 times daily.
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ADHD
|
Whenever I look at something ugly or think about something that looks ugly, I would all of a sudden be in a need to scratch my skin and hair even though my skin and hair are not itching. I have been self-harming myself, such as cutting and I also have experienced suicidal thoughts due to an incident that happened 5 years ago which made me feel like killing myself. Do I really have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder or is it some other mental illness I am going through?
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OCD
|
I know seeking for reassurance is bad but I need to know if this is normal. I feel completely disgusted with myself and I'm afraid I may act out on these thoughts even though I don't want to. I can't imagine myself harming other people and feeling arousal over it. It makes me sick.
|
OCD
|
Sadly I gave so much love to people that didn't deserved, i wasted so much time and effort to the wrong people, now i feel i have nothing left to give to the world and i just want to die.
The only reason i dont kill myself is my family, they love me so much and they dont deserve the pain of losing me.
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depression
|
So after like 3 months I can feel myself start ruminating now. I just woke up from a dream about something I regret deeply and it’s been in my head all morning, it’s going to be another tough few weeks.
|
OCD
|
I live in a place where things are starting to go back to normal gradually. And people are starting to go out again. I notice social media is full of people going to bars, clubs and restaurants. Which is great if you have friends to go with....
The other day I went to visit a relative and they asked if I was going out anywhere. I then said; “none of my friends are in this city right now”. It was an outright lie. They responded with; “it’s ok, you’ve always been a bit of a loner”.
I just wanted to cry on the spot. The sad thing is, it’s exactly what I am. And it’s getting worse the older I get. A year goes by and nothing seems to change. I just used covid as an excuse for the last 18 months. And now people finally know that I literally have no life or social group whatsoever.
I just don’t know what to do anymore. People at work are starting to realize it too. When they ask what I did on a vacation week and respond with; “I just stayed at home”. Their level of shock is clear to see in the face. They ask if I’m ill or unwell and I just make up an excuse about having to look after dogs or some random crap.
I think the world forgets that we are not all wired the same. And some of us are just sat here in our apartments just waiting for one day to lead into another. For little or no meaning. It sucks so bad. I just wish people would be kinder. And at least try to be around me instead of cutting me off within weeks of meeting.
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aspergers
|
I shared my experience living with autism as well as some long list of narcissistic traits that are kept hidden in the Dark.
No one said anything bad.
As soon as I said it to neurotypicals they started judging me.
|
aspergers
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