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I know to take everything read from the internet with a grain of salt, especially here on Reddit. I’m waiting to talk to a professional and know even then I’m going to have to figure things out myself. Still, if you suffer from OCD and have been in active treatment, I’d love to hear your take on this situation.
After 4 years of intentional celibacy, I finally met someone who I have so much in common with and that I’m actually attracted to. We knew each other for a short time before I decided to let him live with me instead of leaving him homeless. Covid has made life hard for everyone in many ways. Please, do not judge. In the beginning, it came up that he washes his hands a lot. OCD was never mentioned as I don’t believe he’s ever been officially diagnosed. It’s been nearly a year and he won’t do the things he needs to to get on his feet I.e. get a free Obama phone, get Medicaid, an I.d., his own clothing, etc. He doesn’t go to sleep until 7 am or leave the house until 9pm. We are gig workers and I receive SSA. 90% of the financial burdens are up to me to handle. At most, he’ll make $30 a few times a week. My hygiene products are used up within days and never replaced. We are in a pandemic and he uses a bottle of antibacterial hand wash within 12 hours, I get the watery residue or have to use body wash. The most worrisome is the cracking of his hands. It kills me to witness him hurting like this. It’s like he is better off without me because I am just facilitating and enabling his self harm.
I’ve been trying to educate myself on this, trying not to say the wrong things or add to the stress but I am in a constant state of being stressed out, confused, scared for his well-being and all while feeling used, angry and unappreciated I.e. not even a card on Christmas or Valentine’s Day.
I really love this guy. I want him to be happy, healthy, and live a fulfilling life. I know this will be a lifelong battle full of ups and downs. I want to be the one in his corner, but...
I don’t want to be causing him more harm. I don’t want to be some ignorant, bitchy, lame gf who says and does stupid shit. I also don’t want to be used and played but I can’t tell whether I am or if it’s just my fear.
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OCD
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Imagine you’re trying to pour something into a glass. When you’re afraid of spilling, the slower you pour. The slower you pour, the more you spill.
That’s exactly how OCD is. When you’re so afraid of something, the more careful you are. The more careful you are (compulsions), the worse your OCD gets.
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OCD
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Earlier this year, I was diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed Vyvanse. The medication itself has literally given me a new lease on life. However, I notice that when I'm on Vyvanse, I get this sort of tic for lack of a better term. I can't stop moving my toes. I keep flexing them and kind of wiggling them. It's entirely subconscious but it's to the point where the muscles physically hurt and it's almost causing a chaffing because it's so extreme. I also find myself constantly playing around with my tongue against the inside of my front teeth. Again, entirely subconscious.
Due to some insurance issues, I ended up going off Vyvanse for a while and the tics stopped completely. I recently resolved those issues and started medication again and they immediately returned. Within a day or two.
I appreciate any advice if anyone else has felt this and if so, if you have a way to treat it or handle it. It's not something I'm choosing to do so it's not something I have been able to just tell myself to stop doing. I don't even realize I am doing it. Thank you so much.
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ADHD
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Hello everyone! I just took my first dose of Ritalin today and for some reason instead of being focused I just got really sleepy, did anyone else experienced this ? And did you have to up your dose because of it? Btw I took half a 10mg pill.
The other question I had is about smoking dope a while after the Ritalin stopped working, does it have any side effects? I know you can't mix the two but even if I wait 24 hours? Thank you for the attention and I'm sorry if I made any English mistakes, it's not my first language.
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ADHD
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I hope you read this cause i'm desperate for help;
I think i have ocd , in fact the things that have happened me in life have convinced me that i have ; also am suffering from a severe kind of perfectionism that am sure of .
long story short , my current situation is about the drug i have used recently ( finastride ) to treat my probable hair loss and then after 4 full months of using it daily and noticing some good changes in my hair line i suddenly felt this huge libido loss and erectile dysfunction .
My problem started from here that i started to search everywhere to find answers and after lots and lots of internet browsing i came across (pfs ). its a short word for post finastride syndrome that means some people are out there and have used finastride and their lives never came back to normal due to their libido loss , ed and etc.
I got frightened like hell ; in fact i read all about pfs and its effects and in fact saw hundreds and hundreds of people ae suffering from this ( they have a website too : propeciahelp.com)
So after reading about these people and their stories i convinced myself that i must have pfs ! how short the probability was i convinced myself that i'm suffering from this syndrome and need to find a treatment for it .
Right now it has been three whole months that i have dropped the finastride but none of my symptomes came back to normal ; i think i have develepoed some kind of a permanent loss of libido and ed .
The thing is , it is probable though for this to be true , so why all of these people are suffering from my symptoms and say they will never came back to normal?
Right now I have reached a place that i may kill myself due to these side effects and in the other hand i can't help but thinking and thinking .
I really want to come back to normal life :(
thank you so much for reading my post and i'll appreciate if you could help me here.
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OCD
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I’m diagnosed ADHD 27F. Not sure if this is an ADHD thing or just a me thing, but I figured I’d ask!
About once a month, I’ll wake up in the middle of the night. I’ll look at my phone and see the time is 11:30 or 12:00. I become panicked, thinking it’s 11:30am or 12:00pm, and I’ve slept through my alarm and am hours late to sign on to my 9am-5pm job. I’ll get so far as turning my computer on and sending messages to my direct reports and manager letting them know how apologetic I am before realizing and registering that it’s the middle of the night, not the day.
Anyone experience something similar often? Could this be ADHD related? Just wondering!
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ADHD
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I am a 15, soon to be 16 female, I’ve had so much trouble with making friends over the years that my mom is starting to complain that I’m home to much. This is due to a test i took a few years ago that proved i had small signs of having Aspergers. Even before the test i have always been the outsider, awkward cry baby, due to myself being so sensitive and not used to friendly banter.
How do I find my people?
How do I become confident enough to approach people with out being needy?
How do have friends that don’t leave me on read or never text me unless i text first.
Today has been a really bad day and i just want a trusting person to talk to that also understands me.
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aspergers
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Does anybody know how I can tell if I have enough symptoms of ADHD to get it checked out? I have alot of the symptoms (if not all) but I dont know if its just my brain tricking me into thinking I have it or something. I feel like It might be me just trying to find an excuse for like laziness and stupidity and I feel like the more I read about ADHD the more I try acting like I have the symptoms in my life I dont know what to do about it I hope this makes sense
Edit: I feel like I'm just pretending to have the symptoms after I read about it or something to be special and stuff I want to know if I have enough to get tested or something cause I feel like the more I read about it the more my brain is trying to make me fake it or I do things on purpose to make it seem like ADHD I seriously dont know anymore
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ADHD
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A couple of years ago, I went through a very heavy OCD-related breakdown. At the time, I was home constantly – taking school online – so I did not leave my house much and used all of that time to think pretty much.
*Let me preface this part by saying that, I am a very spiritual person and do believe in seeing “signs” from the universe or spirits. In the house I lived in prior to this, I had experiences with a haunting and it was very negative and draining for me- this is going to sound crazy, but I would use a pendulum to communicate with it whenever I felt like I needed reassurance for my OCD. When I moved a year later, I had thrown all connections to that away and tried to move on.*
Flash forward to another year of homeschool, but in the new house this time. [I was homeschooled for about 2 1/2 years due to not being able to handle going to school anymore.] I had to use my laptop for schoolwork of course, and this was at a time I was still paranoid about the spirit from my old house. Whenever I’d use it, I started to get this compulsion that I had to look for “messages” whenever I’d see a group of letters somewhere (aka, laptop). Eventually, I felt like the “messages” I was receiving started to sound too ominous regarding my OCD triggers and I took it as a reason to believe I was being told I had done something I had forgotten, and thus, needed to investigate. This didn’t just occur out of the blue and happened over a period of time where I’d “check” to see if something was telling me something.
Eventually, that morphed into me believing I was being told I had killed someone. —No voices in my head or anything like that, but basically a construction of a narrative from spiritual belief. In that year, over time, I would obsess over the news/look at cold cases/feel paranoid if a cop was behind us in the car/etc. And that turned into me having visuals added to the paranoia, along with having very very VERY strong feelings of going back to that “moment” and feeling everything you’d feel when going back to a memory. This progressed and worsened over time obviously- to the point that I felt like I was having intense flashbacks and spurts of recollection just like any memory would feel (what really boggles my mind is that I only see people with harm OCD talk about having images pop up in their mind, doubt, etc. so that sends me down another rabbit hole of worry). It genuinely concerns me that people say “but I have had no memory of this, just doubt!” when I have had moments where it definitely wasn’t just doubt (or images).
Here’s the kicker: despite feeling like I’ve had moments of realizing it’s a real memory, going back to “a” moment, feeling myself “be” there, etc — I have never once recalled any details of where I was, what exactly I was doing, what happened, or what the situation could’ve even logically looked like. And that led me down the path of worrying that I repressed a memory of harming someone.
Now, do keep in mind, I would have to have been 14 years old if this were to be a real occurrence (of me harming someone) and I was about 15-16 when I began having this false memory debacle. I say that because the only time I had harm OCD relating to murder was at 14 years old and it did heavily dissociate me, but I do not remember having any plans to go and kill someone or any desire to leave my home.
I just want to ask — has anyone had some sort of similar experience with false memories before!?? Where it feels like it takes real memory and completely fabricates a false moment? I feel so alone and lost, even almost 5 years later.
DISCLAIMER: I have received therapy for this issue, and while it has helped sometimes, I am extremely worried that he just assumes it’s like any other case — and I can’t tell if it’s not because I’ve never had anyone relate (not talking about the spiritual stuff, I am mostly speaking about the real-ness of how everything felt and how it is described). Also, no I do not have schizophrenia or anything that would cause delusions, or at least I don’t think so.
I guess what my point in posting this is — I have been on OCD forums looking for stories similar to mine (not the spiritual details or how it came to be) such as, how the “memory” feels and how my mind doesn’t even necessarily put an image next to it when I get these feelings!! I’m extremely worried (and suicidal) that I could’ve harmed someone and repressed it even though I can’t even imagine myself doing that. I want to fit into the false memory OCD label but I can’t help but feel so, so, so alone.
To make matters worse, I went on my local news website & searched cases from that time period & found a “suspicious death” which happened when I had a large gap in my Facebook activity. And it’s strange because in the months/years surrounding that, I don’t have a gap as large as that anywhere. For reference, I live in a small town so it’s hard to believe this as coincidence. My assumption is I was dissociated during those days and had an aversion to social media or something. I don’t know, I just feel like giving up.
If anybody wants to read this, please do. I’m sorry if any of this is distressing or weirds anyone out, I’m just trying to piece my life together.
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OCD
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Im from cebu, Philippines and i get in trouble a lot for being messy, lazy, and cant focus on the things that i dont find interesting. Its already affected my performance in school. I also cant sit still at all and i need to always move. I even always forget about things. I also have really bad anxiety like even answering in classes would make my whole body sweat. I plan on saving money myself to get tested since sadly my family dont really think mental disorders as a serious thing
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ADHD
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I'm really struggling with being so isolated. I'm usually a home body anyways but this is too much. I've been going through a lot recently and I was starting to do a lot better but this pandemic thing is making me regress. I started to see a therapist last year but I used up all the money in my benefits and being laid off I can't afford the $140 to talk to her again (I just got my first EI payment and it was $123....). I feel stuck, I feel sad, I feel alone though I know I'm not.
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ptsd
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I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of yelling. I’m tired of being sad. I’m tired of pretending. I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of being angry. I’m tired of feeling crazy. I’m tired of feeling stuck. I’m tired of needing help. I’m tired of remembering. I’m tired of missing things. I’m tired of being different. I’m tired of missing people. I’m tired of feeling worthless. I’m tired of feeling empty inside. I’m tired of not being able to just let go. I’m tired of wishing I could start all over. I’m tired of dreaming of a life I will never have. But most of all, I’m just tired of being tired.
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depression
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My university entrance exams are next month and I know I'm able to do well in it if only I sat down and studied and stopped worrying about dumb shit. But my brain goes "you have 150g of Sourdough discard in the fridge, what are you going to do with it???" And it spirals until I am so worried and anxious about dumb frivolous stuff like fucking Sourdough discard it feels like I'm having a panic attack and the apolycapse is going to happen if I don't attend to it now and inevitably abandon studying for the night altogether.
Like now. Typing it out made me calm down a lot, but earlier I was full blown panicking over the discard issue, couldn't focus in online class and felt like shit. I felt like I NEEDED to attend to this bs during my lunch break even though I know I have no time to do that, and I should be using this time refreshing on last math class' stuff for math class later, and that I could do this in the evening if I wanted.
​
Any advice?
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ADHD
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my mom believes understimulation and overstimulation aren't real things and are caused by me googling ADHD stuff and deciding to act like it since i got diagnosed (which... wow. didn't expect that from her but anyway)
how do i explain to her that those are real emotions, and that i had it before, i just now know a name for it? she says i should just "let my emotions flow and dont search the internet about it" but i believe the best way to find coping mechanisms is to ask other people
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ADHD
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So I was put on adderall at a young age of 8, I’ve been taking adderall since I turned 18 and have never had any issues until I turned 18. after I turned 18 I began to have slight memory loss, it started out with me messing up words to me forgetting what small things were such as a stroller or other objects/easy words. I went from 10 mg to 5mg after experiencing these issues but I’m still experiencing memory loss even when I don’t take it for breaks (only taking adderall during school). I’m honestly unsure on how to regain a better memory again.
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ADHD
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I feel like autistic people actually analyze situations and work out how they work, or are aware that things can go in two directions because one thing is caused by x up to a point and then influenced by y, but neurotypical people just see things on a surface level and are actually far more black and white in general.
I think there is a grain of truth in the idea that autistic people are "black and white" thinkers*, but it's a completely different thing, and I feel like a lot of allistic people don't realize that and project the feelings of "black and white" people they know onto autistic people whenever an autistic person doesn't agree with them or they can't understand an autistic person's perspective or their thoughts and motivations.
*many autistic people find it difficult to register things like conflicting emotions or motivations, for instance, which neurotypical people are used to
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aspergers
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I wish I were dead so often that I feel disappointed upon waking up in the morning and remembering who I am. I am so ashamed and regretful of my life that I don't want to exist anymore. I cannot live with myself, knowing what I have done and the opportunities I've let go to waste.
I am a loser, I live in solitude, I have no market or social value, and I live in a state of constant low mood. I'm tired of who I am and my efforts to change are strained and difficult to sustain. I'm deserving of punishment and not deserving of good things.
I am a worthless, good for nothing, shameful, disgusting and miserable excuse for a man and I do not want to exist. I do not deserve anything good and I am tired. I will never compare to others my age and I will always be a loser.
If anyone has a way to stop existing without ending one's life, please let me know
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depression
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So I still feel guilty about the thing I posted about last time but thats a discussion for another day I quess. I am starting to freak out whenever I'm aroused. I start thinking about what inspired my arousal. Like for example if I am scrolling on YouTube and see a baby then like 13 mins later I get aroused by a hot girl my mind immediately jumps to the baby is the real reason I'm aroused or something like that. I then either try to stop thinking about it and just carry on with my life or I say to myself that I cant masterbate today because then I would masterbateing to the thought of the kid. This then makes me immediately think of weird thoughts I dont want after any kind of arousal. So I'm asking what to do and if anyone else has this problem.
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OCD
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I feel for y'all, I do. I know an episodes coming and I might be in the throes of the holiday season. My life is persistent shame. From, by, for, undetermined. But recently... Really very interesting posts from what I've seen in my time here, even from other subreddits but this one was notable. Love to see it.. rest up, take care. It's only a matter of time, and intent. To repent is to admit fault or failure. To present is a craft, and a half, to say the least. I wanna do it again tomorrow, lords willing.
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depression
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I am an avid reddit user, though I am posting this through a new, anonymous account that I made specifically for this purpose. I wanted to invite members of this community to contribute to a website I just launched, in collaboration with my friend who is a professional trauma therapist, called [The Impact Project](http://www.impact-project.com/). The Impact Project offers a space for victims of sexual assault to create and share an impact statement (completely anonymously if they would like) about how the experience has affected their life years, decades, or a lifetime after it occurred. We are using these statements to create a piece of art in the form of a word cloud within an image. We want to use the survivor’s own words to show and educate people about the complex and long-term impacts of sexual assault. Each of our individual journeys will contribute to the collective narrative of our unique but shared experiences.
The Impact Project has been in the works for a long time, since long before anyone had ever heard of COVID-19. I discuss my reasons for launching now, despite our being in the middle of a pandemic, in the first (and thus far only) blog post attached to the site. At a high level, I feel that COVID-19 has set off all of my triggers, both from my sexual assault and from my complex PTSD, even though those triggers have nothing to do with COVID-19. Just the constant state of heightened anxiety I now find myself in has brought all of my trauma-responses screaming back to the forefront. I feel like now more than ever, people who have experienced trauma need an outlet to talk about it. The Impact Project offers one such space. I encourage you to please check out the site and share it with anyone you think could find it useful.
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ptsd
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Hi there! I'm currently trying to get medication for my ADHD, and I decided to try out Donefirst for a quick fix since all my local psychiatrists are booked up for awhile. I had the first appointment yesterday morning, and after talking the provider put me on 15mg of Adderall, and she said it would be ready for pick up by today. I haven't heard anything since.
However, I'm confused as to how this works—will the site tell me when the prescription is ready? If I haven't heard anything since getting the treatment plan on my Done dashboard, does this mean the provider hasn't sent it in yet? Do I need to go in person to my local Walgreens and ask about it? If anyone has used this site successfully, any insight as to how the process of actually getting the medication into my hands would be super helpful, because right now this is starting to seem really sketchy. I'm in Texas if that helps at all. Thanks in advance.
Edit: Nevermind, I'm stupid... lol. All I had to do was check the prescription through the Walgreens website and it says it's ready for pickup. So if anybody is on the fence about using Donefirst, I've had a positive experience so far so there's that. :)
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ADHD
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When I was still in school, I stayed up one night watching the television with my father. I can’t recall what sparked this one, but we began to argue. It went quiet after a while, settling into a tense silence. I didn’t go to my room yet as I wanted to spend more time with my dog London, as she grew anxious in closed rooms. I had made my way over to the door that lead out to the backyard, which was also located by my father’s chair. While letting my dog Ozzy in, my father spoke up. He didn’t turn his eyes away from Gunsmoke, keeping that same glassy look turned towards the television, and spoke to me. You’re a cold-hearted person. People make like you at first but the reason you can’t keep friends is because of that mouth of yours. I brought my dog Ozzy back inside, said goodnight to London, and spent the night nuzzled into Ozzy’s back for warmth. The following morning, I walked out to my bus stop while my neighbor watched me, as I was too young to wait alone.
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depression
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tldr; what is your most complex habit time or step wise?
If you are anything like me, you struggle with creating habits. By this I mean there is no consistency at all in one's ability to do basic daily tasks. I have begun reading "the power of habit" and I felt attacked in the first few chapters. The author makes assumptions that there are habits that can be modified in the first place. So I started questioning what automatic habits I do actually have.
It seems like most of the habits I have, have to fit within a 10 second chunk.
What I mean by this is, I can learn an automatic habit of it can be completed within 10 seconds of its trigger. If the action is not completed by this time, my non-automatic brain functions have to kick in and remember the steps provided.
Examples of things I would consider habits I can complete: sports motions, driving functions, video game controls, ordering the same food from the same restaurants for months.
Examples of simple things I cannot turn into habits: brushing teeth, showering, any morning routine, being able to check a Todo list or calendar unless it is immediately visible to me. Cooking directions for the same meal I prepare once a week.
So how long (or alternatively how complex) are your habits? The ultimate question I want to know is, are some ADHD people suffering from an inability to form complex habit structures in the brain?
Sorry if repost.
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ADHD
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I have a huge problem most of the time where I don’t recognize myself in pictures or the mirror. It happened before being raped but it’s been more frequent and this is the first time since that I actually saw myself and didn’t feel totally out of my skin. This all happened after a really lovely day with my bf he really makes me feel better present and happy.
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ptsd
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I've had two close friends in my life, and I've gotten borderline obsessed with both situations.
For example, I would want to have the same interests as them, so I start trying things they like.
But then it eventually escalated to fearing that something happened to them, and noticing their normal behavior is off, especially their online activity.
Or the fact that both of them had the 2010 Swine flu, and I never got it, yet I start wondering if I ever did have it...same with other diseases.
Am I just too happy with having close friends who care, or am I just psychotic?
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aspergers
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Why do these thoughts have to feel so real sometimes! I don’t wanna kms I don’t so why does it keep coming up over and over! These feelings along with the thoughts suck! How do I get rid of this stupid theme!? I’m not even majorly depressed or anything!
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OCD
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On Saturday my dog that i had for 11 years died unexpectedly. On Tuesday my family went to Ohio without me. On Friday i failed my final exam for one of my college classes. This week has just been awful. I cant eat, sleep or generally feel happy. Im so stressed i can feel the roots of my hair hurt and my ankle injury i got months ago is starting to flare up again. Don’t know if this is the right place to put this, but the stress has just been eating me this whole week and i cant talk about it to anyone. Just feeling stressed, hollow and overall feeling crushed. Hope everyone feels good, thanks for even reading this
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depression
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Throughout my life... I've always been ignored, avoided, talked over and interrupted by people and "friends". Lately, I have come to a realisation that it is part of my trauma because it just made me feel so alone. I'm typing this out here now because I now know why I'm so clingy to the people I love and to the people I am close to, I try not to be but I feel like I always need attention from them because if they don't reply or spend time with me that they are avoiding me or ignoring me, it makes me scared. Mostly because I lost a recent friend, she was ignoring and avoiding me for months before she finally told me that she doesn't find me that interesting and that I'm boring and negative...
Right now, though, my boyfriend is seemingly distant from me and it makes me feel scared. Is he avoiding me? Ignoring me? Is he thinking about breaking up? Does he not love me anymore? Am I boring to him? Do I have too many problems for him to handle? All these questions are keeping me up tonight and it is 2:30AM when I post this. Does anyone else feel this way? Should I give him some space or talk to him about what I'm feeling? ... What if he is seeing someone else? I just... being emotional makes me think irrationally. I just needed to vent this out because none of my friends are available at this time to help me out.
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ptsd
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For the last 20+ years whenever I would come up with a project I would find this absolutely blazing energy, and sink hours upon hours into whatever project had me excited. Oftentimes related to games, level design, game textures or pixel art, and then programming as my obsessions deepened, but not limited to games, 3D printers, tabletop games, self hosted servers.
If its tech related you name it I've probably had a shot at it. Regardless of whatever it was, if it was exciting or interesting to me, I would be 120% into it. Normally for about 2 week stints or in and out occasionally over the course of months, never finishing a single thing (well maybe one or two things I finished). 100's of projects started with absolutely relentless obsession, but always left unfinished.
I was just recently diagnosed and medicated for my ADHD. I knew something wasn't right my entire life but I couldn't work it out, my wife was the one that noticed and pointed it out to me. My response was that I wasn't bouncing off the walls as a kid, how could I have ADHD? Nearly everything I read about the symptoms screamed my life right back in my face. So after 6 months I finally remembered to call the doctor to ask about it, I got referred, diagnosed and medicated over the course of a year and a half.
Since being diagnosed life has not been the same. I feel stuck, its like treading through thick mud. I can't start projects because it feels like i will never complete them. I have medication which gives me a fighting chance to focus and plan my thoughts, I have skills and lots of them in which to execute anything I set my mind to. I'm finally not jumping around different jobs because i'm getting stuff done and don't feel like I need to hide my severe lack of executive dysfunction.
But I still can't shake the weight of all of my previous failures this time, that energy that I used to channel (poorly but channelled) has evaporated. I can finally plan and focus enough to do my work, but I cannot get any personal satisfaction by completing my own projects because I can't start, I can't muster the energy to get zoned into it like I used to.
Has anyone been through this and has any advice for finding my lost drive? It feels cruel that I finally have medication in which to help me to plan, and organise my personal projects but I've lost my motivation to do them in the first place.
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ADHD
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I’ve just recently started Vyvanse, I started on one 20mg capsule a day and quickly moved up to 3 x 20mg capsules a day adding up to 60mg. After tomorrow I’ll have run out of the 20mg and will start taking one 60mg capsule daily. Does Vyvanse metabolise differently depending on this or will it have the same effect?
Edit: I’ve been taking all three 20mg at once, never split the dose.
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ADHD
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I hate sudden loud noises. They put me on edge and scare the shit out of me every time. I don’t mind the ones I can see going off, since I can at least expect the “BOOM” to come right after. To anyone who is also struggling this 4th, I’m with you and, even though it’s hard and we may just want to sit at the bottom of the ocean until it goes away, we can make it.
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ptsd
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Teenager with depression… and I just got very embarrassed due to my dentist appointment. Yes, right now I have some pretty bad gingivitis, and I’m asking this while it’s still fresh in my mind due to my gums being sore from the deep clean they just put me through. Does anyone have advice on how to get yourself to brush your teeth in the morning? It’s not that I forget, it’s just that I don’t feel like it. I’m sure lots of you have the same problem, so this might not be the place to go for answers, but I don’t feel safe enough to ask this in any other subreddit. I mean, obviously this is a safe space. Even if it’s a strategy you don’t personally use… just start suggesting things. I cant get ortho help until my hygiene is taken care of, and I really don’t want my teeth to be crooked all my life. Thank you. :)
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depression
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It was an issue when I found out at the end of august and it is an issue now. Will therapists actually believe I have OCD? Will they believe I am disgusted by my intrusive thoughts? (Harm OCD, banned topic, similar stuff) Considering I’m mostly veering into Pure-O territory and compulsions being mostly mental I have nothing to prove it except my own words. I have been isolating myself for 2 years not working or studying, but people around me think I am at most slightly unwell (it is common for depressed people to mask it but still) No one knows how much dread, guilt and shame I’ve felt. No one knows how depressed and void of joy my life was aside from very few exceptions. No one knows I was actively thinking about self-deletion for the entirety of august. And except for my own words there’s nothing I can say. In a way it has become an obsession of its own. How do you approach this and how will therapists react? Any experience?
\[repost to avoid mention of the banned topic\]
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OCD
|
I’ve found out just being a a preschool teacher in classroom that I need to fidget with something especially when I’m talking, to me that means I need find a career that allows me to be hands on/moving while talking or thinking. Also when my dad was helping me and standing by me I naturally was talking in between doing tasks on the car. Teaching is difficult for me 1, planning for multiple days especially for individual needs and 2. U have to use redirection strategies and be on emotionally on all day with those and 3. I’m not feeling any fulfillment, ive actually felt more sense rewards working with children on spectrum as behavior therapist however it was rare (when nonverbal said a word randomly) and negatives of dealing with challenging behaviors and repetitive lessons took that over
I had. A interview as. Physical therapist aide and thinking about working as optician as well as back up. I’ve been going to college got two degrees and basically just taking classes for hell of it, I decided to deviate from elementary teaching this term, and my options for online/ mainly because of potential work schedule change, graphic designing technology and medical terminology and some others.
I learn I love to help people solve problems, even though In the moment I wasn’t happy when I helped jump someone’s car after work, when I drove off I got a boost of energy.
Thoughts?
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ADHD
|
When I was a teenager my mom gave me a piece of paper with details I would need to find my biological father. I always kept it with me. A few years ago I started looking but couldn't emotionally deal with it and hid it away somewhere. I remember I put it somewhere dumb and I told myself "one day when you are ready you will know where you hid it". It made sense at the time. Well now I'm ready and I can't find it anywhere. It's driving me crazy. For the past week I've been searching the internet to find information on the man and nothing. Now I've turned into an obsessed monster just digging through everything I own. (Boring story, I know.) I've just become so obsessed I can't focus on anything else, I barely work, after work I'm online until 2am searching.
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ADHD
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[Here's last week's thread](https://old.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/pkz7mu/hows_your_week_going_so_far_weekly_post_186/)
Suggestions are ALWAYS welcome on how to improve the threads I post at any time. After all, I do this because the community wants these threads to exist, and I take the time out of my day (every Thursday and Saturday) to post the weekly threads, to ensure the community gets what it feels it needs.
**So, continuing with the theme... /r/aspergers, How is your week going so far?** :)
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aspergers
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i’ve lost count of how many times i’ve heard that phrase. and it seems like such a simple thing to do that would be really helpful but for whatever reason it never is for me. for example: i used to take a BC pill that has to be taken at the same time every day, so i set an alarm on my phone to remind me. guess what? i ignored the alarm almost every time and i ended up switching to the shot. now my issue is that i regularly forget to wear my contacts, so i put a bright green post it note on my bathroom mirror and wrote “DON’T FORGET TO WEAR YOUR CONTACTS!!!”. it worked for one single day. i don’t know what to do anymore and i just wanna scream every time someone gives me that advice.
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ADHD
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I feel like im trapped in my head right now and i feel like im just stuck in a constant loop and that i wont get out i literally cannot get over one thing without something else immediately flooding my mind like i feel just hopeless amd like i cant trust myself anymore
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OCD
|
I hate the sound of my familys wnd a few peoples voice, their tone, and the things theh say so much, it just feels like theres an angry energy inside me trying to escape n i push it down, the urges to just strangle somone or use their skull as a piñata make me smile but ik it would be wrong to do that. Im torn cuz i cant leave my biggest reasons for feeling this way and i just feel theres no escape im goong to be miserable forever, theese past fee days ive realised to much i keep crying i misd my boyfriend i cant do this . Life is too hard i can’t its too hard whyis god so cruel and let this happen
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depression
|
any tips on how to cope with the downtime between OCD? The feeling where the thoughts aren't as prevalent as before/just generally feeling better to me feels really really off and weird. It feels weird to not have the physical senses and uncomforting jerks just in general any tips on how to cope with feeling a bit better?
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OCD
|
I'm not sure if this is seasonal depression, because I usually struggle with depression, but the past few weeks have been really bad.
Recently I helped the studio I dance at with a commercial, among a bunch of other girls. Everyone was tagged in the "thank you" follow up post on FB. Except me.
A bunch of my coworkers and I were just at a wedding for another girl we work with. They took a group photo in the photo booth together. I was in the bathroom.
And while at that wedding, I know this sounds so selfish, but I couldn't help but feel a little jealous of the bride. Her dad walked her down the aisle and danced with her. Her whole family came and they were all so teary eyed and happy for her. Her maid of honor even made this beautiful speech about their friendship and how wonderful of a person she is.
Why don't I have that? Most of my family is dead, my mom barely seemed to care about my big day, my maid of honor did nothing to help me through the entire process and couldn't even be bothered to make a speech or anything.
Add in that I've been sick for 2 weeks so I couldn't eat much. I lost so much weight you can see my ribs now, my bras don't fit, all the muscle I gained is gone.
I know everyone's journey is different. But lately I feel like I'm an NPC in my own life. Constantly forgotten. Am I hard to love? I must be. My poor husband Idk how he does it. He's the only one that makes me feel like I have worth and purpose.
Anyway, if you made it this far thanks for listening.
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depression
|
Have any of you guys ever experienced everytime you try to fall asleep you would have flashes and then wake up with shaking?
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OCD
|
Not looking for medical advice as I read it’s against the rules this is just a late night rant/discussion on what might be some starting symptoms for newcomers
It’s 1am and I’m in the middle of a panic attack and writing this is kinda soothing I just searched this community because I thought it might help
A while ago I did some acid for the first time I don’t remember how long ago this was as I’m terrible with dates and don’t like thinking back on the event I had a bad trip where I thought I was dead
Every now and then I have a dreaded feeling that I’m still in that moment where I’m dying and the present such as now is my brain trying to process death and come to terms with it
This panic attack is by far the worst I’ve had and I’m wondering if this is how ptsd starts sorry for the lack of punctuation and commas any discussion would be appreciated thanks
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ptsd
|
...a root canal I had as a kid (11 i think). It was terrifying then and still is now, but I buried it deep in side while taking it like a damn g at the time (cried a single fucking tear). And I'm not proud of that! I'm not proud of being terrified to that extent. Certainly I'm not happy about any part of the situation. I had to go several times.. you know what, I'll spare yall all the extended dramatics.
It's the genesis of my fear of dentistry & drill sounds. <------That has kept me from going to the dentist unless I REALLY need it. I'm not in pain now, or most of the time really. But *IDK WHERE TO BEGIN*
*(I'm so scared for my dental health tbh to the point of embarrassment.)*
# WTF now?
ps tw because if there's anyone else out there like me..
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ptsd
|
(Note: I'm not 100% sure whether I'm on the spectrum but it does fit with a lot of my experience)
Does anyone else get this feeling? I almost like being in a clothing store for like 5 minutes, but after that I start feeling like my insides are uncomfortable. I feel like I'm out of breath, and empty emotionally. I feel totally disconnected from everything, like everything gets backgrounded and blurry, and I get low key afraid.
I know there's a lot of sensory stuff going on in these stores (big ads/images, songs, lots of choices). Is this potentially related to autism/sensory processing? Does this resonate for others?
|
aspergers
|
I used to be an annoying ass extrovert with a happy and carefree attitude at and personality at ages 4-12 but now im lonely, depressed, introverted, and suicidal at 19.
|
aspergers
|
I take too many breaks and then I distract myself with something else. Anyone else have this problem? What do you recommend to finish tasks faster?
I've also noticed that this is a pattern in my life in general. I always take long breaks from everything (eating, school, relationships, etc.).
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aspergers
|
I don’t know how to explain it. I have mastered the ability to mask my interactions and speaking voice in person. For some reason, zoom/virtual calls are super difficult for me. I can’t make eye contact with who I’m talking with and my robot voice is unreal. In person I am now able to animate myself accordingly and “fit in”, but not over virtual calls. Does anyone else have that issue? Like I have to now learn to mask virtually because I just can’t do it.
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aspergers
|
I've always been obsessed with death and dying, with me dying, with my family dying, etc, and I had never really dealt with actual death growing up. I only massively feared it. I would think about it a lot, think about extreme scenarios of my parents dying somehow, or me dying, and wondering how my family would feel and knowing how sad it would make them, and it would make me in turn so upset. It kind of rules my life. And as I'm getting older it's only getting worse, because it's only becoming a reality. My grandma passed away in January, and I don't think I have properly processed it and I honestly don't know how. She didn't take care of herself. Her son, my dad, also doesn't take care of himself and it is absolutely triggering to have to sit and watch. He sits and gets wasted every evening, he smokes like a pack of cigarettes a day, his teeth are rotting, and he eats junk (he does also eat some good food from time to time). My dad has an awful smoker's cough that when I stay the night at my parent's house to be closer to school for the morning, I automatically wake up to the sound of it. It freaks me out. It's constantly freaking me out. I have to try to wear big headphones at night and layer white noise and other sounds in order to drown it out. And sometimes when I can still hear it it shakes me. I feel like this is completely abnormal and a horrible way to live life, but it is my natural feeling and instinct and I can't help but feel this way. It's draining. It's so exhausting.
I can't enjoy my time with them anymore because I'm constantly thinking about their mortality. I can't be around them because it's hard to witness their growing fragility. It's another reason I also never wanted to be around my grandma's. It hurts so much to know what that means that I just escape into my own head and do things like play games to keep my mind absolutely always occupied. It's like I can't handle anything in life anymore. I am freaking out. I'm so jumpy, every single random sound makes me flinch. My body constantly feels like it's in fight or flight, even when I'm relaxing
​
And nobody understands that, because I am just laying about and it seems like I'm totally fine to everyone else. So they think I'm lazy or don't want to be with anyone but it is so exhausting just existing
|
OCD
|
I've struggled my whole life with a large ball of issues... binge eating, anorexia, body dysmorphia, depression, anxiety, to name the most prevalent. I've never had addiction to alcohol or abused any kind of substance (other than sugar).
I've been working at getting diagnosed for a year. Now, finally, when I have met a prescriber willing to do stimulant medication trials, I'm told the only way I can is if I'm employed or in school. This is a bit offensive to me, not having any sort of substance control issue. Luckily, I start a new job Monday, but that's not the point. I was having trouble doing my daily routine, and even staying on track with that, I hardly find it fair to make me wait until I'm working. I mean, job hunting is often times work itself, is it not? Moving along.
I am also wondering how, and if, I should give a heads up to my new boss(es) about my new medication, thus, outing my issues. Or, perhaps I explain what's going on if the medicine causes any adverse effects. I'm not sure, this is all very much weighing on my mind.
Any kind words and/or advice, would be greatly appreciated.
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ADHD
|
So, I promised her I'll clean the entire apartment. That was 15:06 when she called me, saying she's coming home and she'll do it herself, since It's late and she might as well do it quicker than me. Reasonable, But we had discussions about me helping out more now, that she's working a new job and has a new schedule. And I promised her I'll do it.
So I asked her to do a quick "tour" through all the cleaning products - I took Notes And Photos of them, so as to not forget to use them in a right order. Fast-forward to now, its 23:05 where I live and I haven't done a thing.
I made a note on the products.
I promised I'll do it.
Then I Repeated That promise Today.
And I made a Short Breakdown List For myself on Where To Start.
And yet here I'm sitting 5+ hours later... Not knowing if it's worth it to start now.
.
I'm considering going to sleep, waking up at 5:55 and clean the whole apartment in 2hours before she return, Lordhelpme
Question: HOW Do You Overcome This "Freeze"??
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ADHD
|
Hello everyone, I have somewhat of an odd occurrence which is that I'm completely unable to scream. Since I young, I've experienced nocturnal seizures which were often recorded and played back with me around. It impacted me much more than I cared to admit and caused me to be deeply disturbed by anything that resembled my experiences.
Fast forward to today, I'm a college student free of seizures (yay) but my phobias lingered to the point where it began to meld with my PTSD. The thing I feared most was being trapped and unable to call for help, so I resorted to facing my fears and tried to practice screaming at a low volume... Except I quickly found out that I couldn't. My vocal chords tighten to the point where it is incredibly painful, and I wonder if it's due to this fear or is actually linked to a medical problem like atrophy (after all, I haven't really been forced to scream for 4-5 years) or damage to the vocal chords. The latter would be quite difficult in the long run because my passion with music has helped my mental health and I believe I have some potential to grow for singing.
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ptsd
|
I've been living with ptsd since I was 12. Of course then I didn't know what it was.. But the thing I am having a time with is my appetite. Food and stability were not present much in my childhood. The person who sexually abused me as a kid (my moms bf) would feed me and I think that has a lot to do with my issues today...
I had a massive breakup, I might post about it somewhere because it was a mixture of my ptsd but also the side effects of my medication that ended my relationship. Since that major life change (we were together 6 Years and were engaged) I've really struggled with eating.
I do what I can to get food in my body, it's not a dysphoria and self esteem thing. I literally have no interest in food or eating it. My go-to foods are becoming less palatable to me and when I don't eat I get super anxious and depressed. It's horrible. It affects my work sometimes, and totally my relationships.
With my breakup all my close ties got severed and the ones that exist are difficult because I relocated away from my hometown. I have a girlfriend now but she is pretty occupied by her own stuff, and although we love each other I'm not sure where she stands with things. Kind of contributes to my overall loneliness coupled with the fact I don't have any friends outside of work. Thank God for work! Or I probably would have killed myself. There's just nothing to live for, so I am trying to find something lol I know that sounds dark but it's my situation.
I'm not suicidal right now, but sometimes it crosses my mind because wtf else am I suppose to do? I have two cats so someone has to feed them, biggest part of being alive. I love my girlfriend very much but she also got out of a long term relationship, I'm simply not her priority.
With the holidays approaching like Canadian Thanksgiving, Halloween, and Christmas I am reconciling the fact I'm not part of the same kind of family i was last year. I'm alone and have PTSD, but I can't afford to let it take over my life again. That was the most expensive and horrific experience of my life! I'm feeling lost, friendless.
I've reached out to people but they don't usually understand me, or their reaching out is superficial or a show. It's also harder to meet people with a gf, but I'm not into randos anymore, so it's not really my jam anyway...
Sucks being 28, too much of an adult for people to care.
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ptsd
|
My brother, Jeremy Hamilton, is a military veteran and an incredible example of how the VA, mental health, and criminal justice systems are failing our veterans. We are looking for assistance in how to handle this. My parents and I put on a face everyday and most people do not fully understand the extent of what my family is dealing with. I am pulling back the curtain to let people see what has been happening in hopes we can find assistance for Jeremy. It's very difficult to put this out there, but people need to know. And if you are dealing with PTSD, or have a family member with PTSD, know you are not alone.
Jeremy joined the Army as an Infantryman in 2004. He completed one tour of Iraq, with most of his time spent in Ramadi. It was easy to see how much his experience was affecting him on his first trip home. He had a two week leave from combat and the first evening while at dinner Jeremy became super emotional and got up and left the table. I went to go find him, he was in the bathroom crying and the moment he saw me he started apologizing and crying harder. We hugged and went out for a walk. Jeremy was feeling a lot of guilt leaving his unit behind, even though he was only going to be gone for two weeks. He told me,"You are my brother, but those are my brothers." It's hard for me to imagine the type of bond you would build in that environment. Jeremy would complete his tour and did not to re-enlist as a prior knee injury did not allow him to apply for Special Forces. Jeremy was back in Minnesota in 2007, initially struggling to find a job that he was interested in. He was drinking pretty heavily and ended up getting a DUI one night. Jeremy had a good friend who was pretty big into karate and he started training with him. He then began training to fight in mma. That quickly became his passion and he was determined to succeed. His ultimate dream would be to make it to the UFC. Jeremy was a massive fan of Anderson Silva and tried to incorporate some Silva's head movements and counter-punches. Jeremy being 6'3" with a 77" wingspan gave him the ability to keep some distance while evading shots, but he also was tough and had a strong jaw. Jeremy found a great gym and was training nonstop. He became a training partner with Brett "Da Grim" Rogers and the other professional fighters. Jeremy joined Brett traveling to different events like the Strikeforce Grand Prix and different promotional events. Scott Coker, the Strikeforce CEO at the time, joked with Jeremy about trying to pass him off as GSP; since they looked similar. It was very amazing to see the excitement from Jeremy and his confidence was soaring. Jeremy would get his chance on a bigger stage fighting on a Strikeforce preliminary card. His opponent would be Derek Brunson. Brunson was a relatively new fighter with an 8-0 record and his longest match lasting 2 minutes and 27 seconds. As a brother, that was a brutal fight to watch. Brunson definitely got the best of him, but Jeremy wasn't going to quit, tap out, or get knocked out. Brunson won by unanimous decision. Derek Brunson has gone on to have a long UFC career, fighting individuals like Ronaldo Souza twice, Anderson Silva, Robert Whittaker and many of the top Middleweights of the world. Jeremy healed up and got back to training, in preparation for another big fight. He would headline an event at the Target Center in Minneapolis fighting a UFC vet in Yoshiyuki Yosihda. Jeremy lost via submission in the second round. After that fight, mma started to become less important. Its a hard life to be an mma fighter when the money isn't that great, unless you are at the top. Jeremy began working at a company doing tree work. Climbing gave him the adrenaline rush he needed.
In December 2014, I received a call from Jeremy's gf that he was acting very strange and she wanted me to come over and talk with him. Oblivious to what was happening, I arrived to find him packing up his vehicle. He says that his gf has been cheating on him and spreading lies about our family. I am not sure what to make of the situation, so I help him load up and move him to my parents house. He later meets me at a friends house and starts sharing the story. Jeremy said he was at a store called Discland and one of the employees, told him everything; how his gf was cheating on him, recording him and all of our family through hidden cameras. It was extremely difficult to follow. I didn't know what to make of any of the situation and said I would be willing to go to meet this individual at Discland. Jeremy and I discussed that if this individual doesn't remember anything about this situation, we would go to the VA to talk to someone. Jeremy agreed, but he knew he was right. When we got to Discland Jeremy pointed out the guy right away. We approached him and Jeremy started asking him questions. The guy had no idea what Jeremy was talking about. Jeremy backed up and realized something was off. As we left the store, Jeremy couldn't make sense of what was happening and became extremely emotional. It was very hard to watch my brother, a 30 year old, completely confused by what was going on in his own head. By the next day, a new story had formed in Jeremy's head. The employee from Discland "told him(Jeremy)" he would forget the information, if Jeremy came back. Jeremy felt justified in not seeking help. The Discland situation slowly faded away and everything seemed to be normal again. Completely oblivious to what was going on behind closed doors.
In March 2015, I received a Facebook message from a girl that Jeremy went to high school with. We'll call her Sarah for anonymity sake. Sarah shared that Jeremy had been messaging her pretty regularly via social media. Jeremy wasn't stopping even though she made it clear she was in a relationship. Sarah wanted to reach out to me first; she knew Jeremy had served in the military and this was possibly PTSD. She wanted to see Jeremy get the help he needed. My parents confronted Jeremy about it and he agreed he would stop contacting her. We continued the conversation of getting Jeremy help, but we were completely unequipped to handle the situation. We were also completely unaware of the extent of Jeremy's social media posts.
In April 2015, an Order of protection was delivered on behalf of Sarah. Jeremy had continued using every form of Social Media to contact Sarah, even contacting her coworkers. The only thing I was thankful for in this situation was that Sarah didn't live in Minnesota. Then in the same month, the Secret Service showed up at my parents house in regards to threats Jeremy had been making on twitter to pretty much every politician and also the Pope. He wasn't living with my parents at the time, but they were able to locate him where he was staying. They picked him and brought him to VA. It was pretty clear that something drastic needed to be done. The VA and the Judge handling Jeremy's case new that Jeremy would need forced care, he was not willing to accept any assistance on his own. The lead Secret Service agent was even willing to testify to help make that happen. Part of the process includes having two third party psychologists doing an evaluation on Jeremy. One didn't complete it and the other deemed him competent. That was a big blow to our chances of getting him help. Ultimately, the VA allowed him to leave and my parents had to make the choice of letting him go homeless, or bring him home. My Parents brought him home, but Jeremy decided to sleep in a cot he set up in the garage, because he did not feel worthy of sleeping in a house. Jeremy has an extreme amount of guilt for things he did in while in the Army. For example, while in Ramadi they would try to capture the individuals planting IEDs in the roads. They would watch the roads for days, to remain unseen they would force families out of their homes and occupy them until complete. This has weighed heavy on him.
On December 12th, 2015 Jeremy became very agitated and was making my Parents extremely nervous, to the point they had to call the police to have him removed for the final time. The police brought Jeremy to the VA. Since Jeremy didn't have a place to go, the VA found him a home with a Vietnam Veteran in WI. Jeremy ended up leaving the home to live homeless in Eau Claire. The only way for us to have any idea what was going on was to search for his social media posts. He didn't have any money and ended up stealing a bottle of liquor from a store... he left an IOU with his information on it.
September 2016, the Eau Claire police were able to catch up with Jeremy. Since Jeremy was living homeless and winter was on its way, the Police told him he would need to travel somewhere warm. They arranged a bus ticket to anywhere he wanted to go. It chose Los Angeles. Unfortunately, the bus had a stop in Phoenix and that is where Sarah lives. Jeremy saw it as a sign that he needed to see her. Sarah reached out to me to tell me it appears he is on a bus heading her way. Sarah hired two off duty police officers for protection. When Jeremy arrived outside her workplace they were able to apprehend him and take him to the VA in Phoenix. Since the original order of protection had expired, they couldn't do anything more, but serve him the new protective order. The VA was providing assistance, he seemed to be getting the help he needed. He was even taking the medication required. He even found a group of veterans that he could hang out with. The VA set him up in Veteran apartment complex and he seemed to be on the right path.
In February 2018, my Parents and I went to visit Jeremy. It was a great opportunity to see him and remember some old times, we all did some hiking at the Grand Canyon. Life felt good for a moment. Unfortunately he decided to have very limited contacted after that, later we learned it was the result of the narcotics the VA had him on. In September 2018, we were still unable to get a hold of Jeremy and there were no recent social media posts. Jeremy finally reached out to my parents and he had been in jail for contacting Sarah again. He didn't even care about going to jail anymore. Then at the end of 2018, he was arrested again and is still being held. Initially, they were working through the Mental Health courts as opposed to criminal court, but that has since changed. As of May, the Maricopa County Court system states that Jeremy is completely mentally competent to be in criminal court. VA where are you?
We are not asking for Jeremy to be freed. We want nothing more than for Sarah to be able to enjoy her life without having to worry about the safety of herself and her family. All we want is for Jeremy to get the help he truly needs. Obviously this is complicated, but having him locked in jail isn't helping his mental state. We receive postcards from Jeremy stating,"It's an honor to be a Civil Rights Activist and a World Peace Advocate in the worst jail system in the country." We can't even truly communicate with his defense attorney since Jeremy is over the age of 18. Besides the fact the defense attorney told my Mom that, "Defense attorneys are not best interest attorneys. If he wants something different, she(attorney) has to do it. This doesn't always align with what the families want." Jeremy doesn't even have his attorney in his corner. My family has been through so many ups and downs, we have no idea what to do at this point. We are looking for someone to help us find a better solution. I have seen the power of Reddit and hope someone can provide assistance. I apologize for the length and any grammatical errors.
TLDR: Military family needs assistance with complicated legal situation before veteran is sent to jail in Phoenix.
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ptsd
|
They didn't schedule me, but they will be calling tomorrow to make an appointment. I'm 34, so it will be a late diagnosis if I am on the spectrum. I'm glad I finally committed to making the first steps. I've been thinking about it for awhile.
|
aspergers
|
Just wanted to rant here because you guys understand and no-one else does. I'm supposed to be studying for 6-8 hours a day for an online course completely making and maintaining my own structure and schedule by myself and it's just not happening. + focus issues
I've taken only two courses this year and I'm failing the other one. At this rate anyway.
I might me able to get meds in 6-14 months, and that's a maybe, because the system is so crowded and there are so few adhd doctors. Normal doctors can't diagnose it without help. I live in Finland, the public lines are long. I'm a broke collage student, I can't go private.
So it sucks, my family thinks I just not trying hard enough. And they guilt trip me. I'm trying my hardest, I really want to graduate, it's not working. I might be mildly autistic too. But that's a battle not worth fighting for, for me. I hope the meds help. Exercise and music somewhat helps but it's not enough. I was fine with external structure in high school, exhausted but fine.
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ADHD
|
Hi guys,
I'm 24 years old and I am almost certain that I have ADD, which my doctor think is probably the case. But due to the fact that he knows I work at big law firm and plan to become a lawyer, he advised me not to get diagnose, because it, according to him, makes it impossible to get insurances in the future.
I struggle every single day because I'm overthinking things, and I can't focus at one thing at a time. Yes, I'm almost done with law school and have a good job, but it has been some of a fight. I never manage to relax mentally, and this has been the case whole my life. I'm good with people, but I'm not mentally present when I'm out and having "fun", and I don't have surplus to do what I would like to.
I have had depression, which I have overcome. I think it had a connection to my ADD. Also, I have tried ADD medicine which made my day "normal" and thus easier.
So, I would like to hear your opinions on whether or not I should get a diagnose so it can be treated.
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ADHD
|
Treatment has helped. I still struggle with obsessing over the past from time to time. My main issue now is that I don't know the line of if I do something I don't think is good now, at what point should you tell your partner? At what point are you "hiding" something or are you confessing stupid things again?
|
OCD
|
Idk what to do anymore guys. All I do is game to make the thoughts go away, The anxiety I get even when I just think about going to my usual appointment with my therapist is just too much. I don’t want to do it anymore. Everyone just keeps telling me I can’t live like this forever so I have to do something, But i don’t even want to live
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depression
|
I’ve got two young cats, a live in long term partner who acts like he hates me, and family who has never cared. The only thing keeping me alive is the fact my cats would be left to basically no one.
|
depression
|
Can someone tell me if it's ocd or perfectionism?
Every night before I go to sleep and before I leave the house, I have to shut all the doors. And I don't mean doors in and out of the house, I mean the doors you walk through to get to different rooms.
Whenever I'm on like a brick pathway or somewhere with cracks on the floor, I have to step over each one one an alternating pattern. The same goes for using the space bar when I'm typing.
It's like: so if I step over a crack with my left foot, then I have to step over the next 2 with my right, and then my left again to complete the cycle. The next cycle will then be right, left, left, right. Even after you do that, you have to keep repeating. Everything has to start with the same foot and end with the same foot, and it drives me crazy because I want to scream every time I have to add in extra steps or use the wrong foot.
So basically It's like left, right, right, left. Right, left, left, right. Right, left, left, right. Left, right, right, left.
And for the space button, it's tbasicallyhe same, but using my fingers instead of my feet.
I also do this thing where if any two of my finger on a hand touch, I have to touch my thumb to all my other fingers, and run them over them again and again, usually until someone tells me to stop.
I can only eat meals if the last digits are 00 or 30, and the same with starting a new task. School kills me because periods end at like 9:20 and 10:15.
When I cook and wash stuff to eat, like grapes, I have to pat them dry one by one, and use a different hand to dry each grape. No 2 can be dried by the same hand in a row.
And I have my items on my bedside table and in my room organised in a specific way (books, photos, clocks, etc) but my mum keeps shoving everything into the drawers, saying that my room is too clustered. Now, I can't even look in my drawers because I know how long it'll take me to sort it back out.
I've asked my mum if she thinks I have ocd, but she told me that I'm just overreacting, and that someone who's room and workspace is as clustered as mine can't possibly have ocd.
Maybe I'm just a psycho, but if I don't do these things, I just know that something's not going to end well, and I always listen to my intuition because it's never wrong.
Someone pls tell me what to do, it makes my life so hard and feel like I can never feel content/peaceful. And also sorry it was so long, I just kinda needed to vent
|
OCD
|
I have been wanting to tell someone about it alot recently, and figured I could open up to a friend or two. The main problem is I think they would be the type of people to joke about it unknowingly and that would ruin the friendships. This has been my obsession alot recently, and it would feel great to let some of it out.
|
OCD
|
so i've been on olanzapine for many years - i'm schizoaffective, and it's the best AP i've tried that helps my psychosis. the problem is, i have to taper down from it because it's been giving me tremors. this began a couple weeks ago; already my ocd is getting worse. i have a new compulsion: avoiding cracks in the sidewalk. i know it doesn't Really and truly affect whether my dog gets loose (my primary worry) but i do feel that, if it happened, it would be my fault for not being diligent about avoiding the cracks. this has already proven to be a problem, though - with my head down and focusing on the ground, i almost got hit by a car running a red light - i'm talking if i had taken one more step i'd have been smashed.
basically, my question is, what APs are most helpful to you, if you use them, other than olanzapine or abilify (tried it, not effective enough)? are any of those less likely to induce tremors? my psychiatrist is kind of a quack sometimes so i really have to advocate for myself
|
OCD
|
This has literally been the year from hell. First off my grandma sold our home, which had been in our family since she was 15. It’s been her home, my mom’s home, and my home for literally my entire life. After selling the house, my gma left to travel. I don’t have a good relationship with my mom, so she has always been like a mom/grandma combo. She has always been there for us and now she has been gone for several months. My mom moved herself and my brothers into a nice house, but she wouldn’t let me move in with them because apparently there isn’t enough room for me. My gma gave me money after she sold the house so I could get my own apartment, but there is absolutely 0 housing available in my town.
Not too long after, both of my best friends moved away to different towns. We are extremely close so not having them around has been awful.
At the very beginning of the year, I ended a three years long relationship. I met someone and we started dating. I ended up moving in with him because I had nowhere to go, and it turned out to be really nice and we loved each other very much. Well tonight he just dumped me out of absolutely nowhere, making many excuses like he’s not healthy and I’m not healthy and he can’t be there for me. He said he has “mommy issues.” Well midway through this conversation, he admitted to having feelings for one of my best friends. who we visit regularly. I don’t believe that she reciprocates feelings for him or that she even knows, and it isn’t her fault at all, but I’m so fucking pissed. It started as an empty void of sadness, but now I just feel angry.
The kicker for the breakup situation is that he doesn’t want me to move out right away. I don’t have anywhere to go, but I’m really upset that he wants me to stay because it’s just going to hurt more. But the thought of leaving makes me feel sick. Everything was fine. We loved each other. I don’t fucking understand.
I genuinely feel like I have nothing left at this point. My grandma is gone, my home is gone, my mom lives 10 minutes away from me and never ever talks to me. I was so happy with my boyfriend and this feels completely unreal. It feels like a bad dream. One of my previous ex’s also dumped me out of nowhere, but this situation is taking me even more off guard.
The couple years have also been shit, as I had a very long and dramatic friendship break up with my old best friend, have been stuck at my job with positions I deserve given to other people with far less experience than me, and my ptsd acting up worse than ever.
I feel such a horrible mix of devastated and angry. With everything happening all together I am having suicidal thoughts. I don’t think I’m going to act on them, but I’m scared because I feel closer to acting on them than ever. It’s just too fucking much all at once. What the hell am I supposed to do? I’m so fucking stuck. Why does this always happen? We were doing so good and he was showing me so much love and now everything has fallen apart.
|
depression
|
Does anyone here take both fluoxetine and vyvanse?
​
I have depression and anxiety as well as ADHD and some binge eating. I want to try Vyvanse but I am already taking fluoxetine for depression and hydroxyzine for anxiety. Of course, I am going to see my doctor about it. But I wanted to get other perspectives. Is it possible to stop the fluoxetine and see if Vyvanse alleviates the depression?
I worry about spiking the anxiety. I have had meds do that in the past.
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ADHD
|
So I wrote a post about remembering old traumas yesterday. I texted my psychologist that I’m remembering more stuff and now I’m completely freaking out. She’s on holiday for ten more days, but now that I’ve texted her it feels even more real. I’m at work trying really hard not to show that I’m having a panic attack. Help me.
|
ptsd
|
I have been taking escitalopram (Lexapro) for a few years now, and I’ve had a different SSRI before that. I’m going to start taking bupropion (Wellbutrin) in the new year instead of escitalopram. Do any of you have experience with this medication? I would love to know how it has or hasn’t helped with depression.
|
depression
|
Wouldn't it be cool if you could kill yourself, and nobody would be affected. Nobody would get any trauma and you get to stop existing. It's a win-win. If anyone has any ideas ,please let me know. All I've got is overdosing on pain medication or jumping of a bridge/building/peer, but those all seem a bit too dramatic. I kinda wanna stop existing. It hurts too much. I So if anyone has any ideas please feel free to share.
|
depression
|
Hello fellow ADHD peoples. I'm in my 30s and was recently diagnosed with ADHD 2 years ago. Despite only barely discovering about executive function disorder, I feel like I've had to deal with it most of my life. Unfortunately, due to being diagnosed as an adult, I'm not eligible for most stimulant based medication, also because my psychiatrist believes I have higher than normal dopamine levels which might be the cause of the accompanying issue of a short temper and impulsive behavior.
So the solution I was given was Zyprexa in order to lower my dopamine levels. However, with the drop of dopamine comes lowered energy levels that also causes me to need 10-12hrs of sleep to feel rested. It also seems to drain my motivation to do things I used to hyperfixate over (like hobby miniatures, video games, and TTRPGs). It also seems to have made me a bit more introverted (when I was previously extremely extroverted). While my time management, temper, and impulsive behavior have significantly improved, the planning, strategizing, and multitasking dysfunctions that come from EFD possibly may have gotten worse.
Is anyone else on zyprexa and dealing with these side effects? Have you found a workaround?
Thanks in advance for everyone's help.
|
ADHD
|
Sometimes, when the sun is too far gone to still be awake and I’m staring at my incomplete assignments in dread and exhaustion, I wonder if it's all worth it. It feels like I don’t belong in this place, full of academics with motivations and goals. I wonder how I ended up here, what kept me going when I truly want so little out of life, anyway. I guess I have a plan, sure, but I wouldn’t call it a dream, and it's certainly not a motivator.
And I know nobody’s as perfect as they seem, that we’ve all got our own shit, but these people must have reasons, right? We all try so hard, spending days and nights in the libraries and studios, and it makes me wonder, what do they think about, when their French paper due tonight seems a lot less important than the prospect of finally relieving those bags under their eyes? When the sleep-deprived haze clouded over their minds pulls them away from their math work, what goals do they think of to power on? Because every time I stay up, I can’t help but ask why I keep going. And yet I always do. No matter how late it is, how heavy and dense that fog in my brain has become, I always complete the assignment. Yet I have no dreams, no driving desires. I even lack a higher power that might encourage my success. Maybe it's a fear of failure. Am I scared of the F that threatens to mar my career? Or could it be the looks of disappointment from my parents when I am not the best I could be? Sibling rivalry, academic validations, social reputation, perfectionism, it must be some twisted combination that is both so hindering and compelling, one that creates a terror in my bones every time I feel myself falling away from the person I wish everyone to see me as. But I don’t know if that’s even right, because I couldn’t tell you who I want to be. And I love learning, truly. I love how knowledge allows me to create, and grow, and understand, but I generally dislike school. I dislike being forced to learn truths I don’t care for, spending my youth working, and throwing away social connections for a grade. I don’t even know who I am, what I want, if I matter, or if mattering even really matters.
I used to believe I understood who I was, making charts of my identity with things I enjoy and interests I pursue, but aren’t I something besides a messy collage of a million different hobbies and passions? I can’t define myself beyond the physical things I care for, and that scares me. Personality tests feel like a threat, every question challenging this notion of myself that is already so fragile.
Morality plagues me. I feel as if I am always in the wrong or always have been, and I’m almost too afraid to commit to an idea for fear that I am just too ignorant to decide anything for myself. I used to be so stubborn, so sure of what was right or wrong, but now everything is gray and I feel like I always only have a piece of the puzzle. I can’t decide whether I wish I knew less, in order to return to that place of blissful ignorance and rigid morality, or if I should attempt to quench my desire to understand this place, to collect more pieces of this everlasting puzzle. Every question feels like a false dichotomy, and I often wonder if I am really anyone if I don’t believe in anything.
So here I am, in college, and I do feel alone and lost, but I’m not quite tired of that yet. I think I spent far too much time with my life tied so closely to another’s that I lost track of myself. I spent a lot of this summer scared, and a lot of this fall confused. The people I’ve connected with here, I still keep behind thick walls of glass, letting them see enough to be considered friends, but not too much where they could break through, and the shards could cut me. I must be boring to be around, I probably seem detached or too much trouble to get close to. Or maybe I’m wrong, and I just can’t read the signs of interest that people have been sending. I feel like I am making friends, but then I am rarely invited, rarely texted, and easily forgotten. And I know it is my fault, for staying in on social days, and never answering their snapchats, and probably being annoying and awkward to be around in general. But I don’t understand them, how they spend an entire afternoon just chatting, and not wish to be back in the comfort of solitude. How they smile and talk so easily, like it takes as much effort as breathing. How they answer texts within minutes, call each other for hours, snapchat each other’s faces back and forth, and somehow gain so much emotional connection and fondness for the other from this.
I can’t help but be the disappointment, the mess, the one you have to worry about, so sometimes I feel like the right thing to do is just to keep myself away where nobody will have to see my scars and stand under my raining cloud, because I’m sorry, but I forgot to bring that umbrella you always have to hide from your storm.
And maybe that’s all bullshit, and I’m just falling for everyone’s shiny masks, but then why can’t I fake it like they can? Why does mine always spill over? Why do I over share? Why can’t I keep it inside? I can fake a smile and laugh it all off, but why can’t I push the heavy blanket of sadness off my back and respond to your texts? Why can’t I get past my own insecurities and exhaustion and reach out?
I always wonder if everyone’s just better at pretending than me or the grass really is greener on the other side. I’m sick of getting dragged down by the same shit that I have for years. It feels as though I have failed to grow and I hate that. I don’t know who I am; I don’t know who I want to be. I cannot understand why you would want to hang out with me, because I do not understand who this person even is. Am I wasting my energy by even trying to figure it out? Should I just be enjoying what I can, pretending to care about the same things everyone else here does, or should I find what motivates me? I don’t know if I’ll ever know how to respond to these questions, or if there even is a response.
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depression
|
I’ve (24M) never been an adventurous eater. The only vegetables I would stand/crave growing up were corn and green beans. The audible and physical crunch bothers me a lot. Fruits are easier, although some textures, like strawberries, are a hard no. Virtually any dish with haphazard components (e.g. casserole) is a no, because I will dissect it, and likely won’t really eat it because everything has touched.
I would like to lead a healthier lifestyle and lose weight, but my palette holds me back from making a change to my diet. My wife suggested that the ways in which veggies were introduced to me were likely cooked poorly - like served straight from a can. Most healthy recipes call for things I would not eat.
As I’ve grown, I’ve gotten better - I can cook decently and often do for my household, but sometimes won’t even bring myself to eat it. I made fajitas the other night and sautéed bell peppers to top them. I seasoned them with salt, pepper and a bit of crushed red pepper and “hid” them in the fajita and tightly wrapped the tortilla so I couldn’t see them. It seemed to help a bit. Not sure if I need to try eating blindfolded.
Has anyone overcome their texture problems? If so, what steps did you take?
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ADHD
|
Hellos im 22 years old and Basically ive recently been prescribed Prozac for my OCD and Anxiety, My mental has constantly been making me feel like the worst person to ever exist, I feel the need to tell my mum everything bad ive ever done, Nsfw TMI but the worst thing i can think of i made poor choices and Got off to Loli Hentai Cartoon and i feel atrocious about this was in the past and not anytime recently but i just feel awful about doing it and the need to feel reassurance that im not the worst person ever is painful, I know deep down im not a bad person but ive made poor choices and i just hate feeling my mind gang up on me, I dont know how to stop seeking reassurance from it. I hate obsessing over these things, Some days i struggle to get out of bed because my mind just seems to hate me.
Edit: More context
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OCD
|
I am just very angry and upset at the same time. No one fucking likes me or even wants to speak to me. I rather just want to sleep and never wake up and just know that I won't have to deal with these feelings anymore. I don't care who sees this and thinks I am mentally deranged I don't want to live like this anymore. I actually want to be happy. I don't want to be feeling this loneliness anymore. Everyone sees me as a complete fucking joke. I am at school and I am about to have a mental breakdown. I legit cannot do this anymore. I just want to fucking die already because this life is just nothing more but emptiness and exhaustion. I don't care if I am being dramatic. I have felt like this for so long. I don't want to deal with this anymore. I just want to fucking die already
No one wants me because I am a complete fucking nuisance. Everyone sees me as a joke. No one cares about what I have to say and I am just a delusional stupid idiot. That's all. And then my mind tells me I am overreacting and that I am just faking these feelings.
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depression
|
I get intrusive terrible thoughts while I'm doing something sexual and I feel SO guilty because I can't control and it kills all the moods in the moment. What should I do when theses thoughts comes?
Having these horrible INTRUSIVE thoughts while masturbating can make me a bad person?
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OCD
|
I’m a woman and I just want to feel beautiful. I feel like I can never compare to perfect Barbie doll types I see on a daily basis. There’s so much pressure and expectations for what women should like today. I feel like I will always feel so disgusting.
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depression
|
So I was on tiktok and this video popped up. It was a girl doing like fetish videos or whatever but she didn’t show her face. My thoughts started to race like crazy because her way of typing out words reminded me of like 13-14 year old girls (I’m 17 btw so this whole thing is dumb in the first place). But between the anxiety, false attraction from the thoughts, real attraction from the actual videos and her most likely being of age. I’m so confused. I genuinely can’t tell if I had a reaction of being “turned on” when I said in my head “her way of texting looks like a younger girl”. But it also filled me with anxiety too. Logically I know she was of age but I was so scared I was gonna find it attractive for the wrong reasons I left her page because I was driving myself down a bad chain of thoughts. Can anyone help me. Does it sound like I like the video for her being of age? Or am I a creep and liked her because her way of typing looked younger?
|
OCD
|
All the way since I was a little kid, I just never had a friend, ever. I always wanted to have friends, always tried to be liked by people, but everyone ended up dropping me. It's not even that I isolate myself, it's completely the fact that nobody just seems interested in a friendship with me. It seems that my situation is unique because most people here say that they had friends at some points in life, or that they get invited to parties etc. But in my case it's just nothing. I am almost 19 and I spend basically my whole life lonely, without any friend.
So am I alone with this?
|
aspergers
|
My post history might have some important information
Basically I cheated by sexting 3 months ago, at the time it never felt like cheating, I was addicted to porn and it is just felt like watching porn. I dont know if this is important but i sexted with other men, im not gay at all, but porn had completely warped my view on sexuality.Anyways since I realised it was cheating I felt struck with guilt, I wanted to tell my girlfreind and about a month later I did. She was hurt and angry but was very confident in the fact that she wants to keep our relationship and she still loves me. I feel bad about this every single day, I have suicidal thoughts and have recently started self-harming. I have spoken to her a few times about how bad it makes me feel and how sorry I am and she tells me that everything will be okay, she knows I'm sorry and she knows I love her. I feel so guilty about feeling bad because I'm the one who made a mistake, and she was hurt for it. She was drunk yesterday and started crying saying that I hurt her and that she cant tell me about it because I get upset over it too, I can't help it though, I hate what I did so much and it ruins me to know that I hurt her. I try to not show my emotions at all when she talks about it but I can't. I didn't know what to do. I tried to hug her but she pushed me away. My mental state has been completely ruined again by these comments, I know I made a mistake but I'm doing everything I can to correct it, I'm trying to stop watching porn/masterbating all together. I always try and listen and help her when she's upset. I don't know what to do, I can't forgive myself even though she has forgiven me.
|
OCD
|
HOCD is a bitch. I don't wanna be gay but sometimes it feels like I'm not getting any choice. Like I'm getting violated inside my brain. I want it to stop.
|
OCD
|
real talk i have ocd/anxiety and one of my fears is being catcalled/harassed (it's definetly happened a few times, (have directly been called) even though i'm a minor, not to mention glances). how can i tell what's actually harassment, and what's just normal honking at traffic/glancing at people walking? it's weird bc this is one of the things that happens outside of my ocd, but my fear exaggerates how many times i think it happens i can't tell, and it's making it harder to want to go outside, and how do i have this fear without feeling like i'm being narcissistic?
|
OCD
|
I fucked up. I went two months without my meds thinking "it's not that bad, ive lived most of my life like this I'll manage". But I just took them today and I realized how impairing ADHD really is. Of course I didn't pickup my meds because of ADHD to begin with.
So it got me wondering. Maybe if I had a job that fully grabbed my attention I'd be ok. But the tragedy of ADHD is I'm 30 now and my life just didn't get planned and I'm deficient in a lot. Basically I am where I am now because I fell into it, but not really out of choice.
I don't understand how some people can manage this without meds. I've tried. Part of me wants to be able to just figure out a way not to take meds. I'm not ashamed or anything. I guess it still hasn't registered in my head it's legitimate. I think I can make it work for me or something. Maybe that's all that "superpower" talk that gets me a bit upset. Like I'm glad other people find some kind of gift in this, but it's mostly just impairment for me.
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ADHD
|
**EDIT: For anybody in a similar situation, I have found a solution after speaking to a more helpful Veteran's Crisis Hotline rep. There are services at facilities called Vet Centers - these are SPECIALLY CATERED to combat vets. If you also find large medical facilities under VA purview hard to navigate and upsetting to be in, contact your local Vet Center as they are there for this sort of thing. Hope this helps.**
​
I have ptsd from a deployment 2 yrs ago in an obscure location that was literal hell. I didn't think it affected me but now i know it's because i locked it away and for the last year it's been creeping up and affecting me but i can't even think about thinking about talking about the stuff that happened but i have opened up a little to my girlfriend and had my first break down a few months ago but it felt like some weight was gone. But it got substantially worse after that and i'd see faces of the dead and hear voices that weren't there, i don't feel safe anywhere but my apartment, i can hardly sleep i don't eat and i feel like i'm not even me, like somebody has been standing in for me for the last two years and i'm just observing.
But, putting off treatment was the worst thing i did bc yesterday i had a psychotic break at my office where i drastically fell down a dark place where i was 100% convinced my family and friends were plotting against me, even my girlfriend who had been helpful but not pushy - i thought she was trying to kill me. I know a lot about counseling and knew it was irrational and had like temporary bouts of sanity which helped me make the decision to write down my thoughts and even record some so when I got out of my episode I could map out how i got from Point A to Point B.
Anyways, I opened a chat with the veterans crisis website because i didnt trust the phone but the guy just wanted my personal information and i was very nervous and pressed him for details on why to make sure i wasn't committed - crazy, i know. Then I went on a rant about the government trying to keep me under wraps to not talk about kenya and shit. Well, he eventually had a lady call me and - again - all she cared about was getting details from me to have SOMEBODY ELSE contact me. She just kept saying sorry you went through that and then asked for more information but didn't address anything i was saying.
So she said she put in a consult to the VA which i've been to many times because i've got disability and knew it would be hopeless to try to get help there again but i went.
So today i went there dress like the unabomber with sunglasses and everything because something about the VA makes my breath stop, stomach tighten and i feel more vulnerable that i normally do so I beelined through the common area away from the people and tried to find my way to the MH clinic but could not so I got directed upstairs and the lady there said I have to be registered even though I was directed by the veterans crisis line to walk in. I told her I was registered in San Antonio at the VA clinic and she said she couldn't find me and that I have to go pre register then go to a different clinic downstairs.
So I went and got a number after some arguing about why i need to register because nobody was on the same page and I waited two hours to get called up to register and the lady there said I didn't need to register and to just walk down the hall to the clinic.
​
So I go and fill out the mental health questionaire and answered the extremes across the paper so i figured they'd know it was an emergency and let me in.
Thirty minutes later, i feel the walls closing in and the feeling of impending danger worsens. I duck my head into my lap and wrap my arms around my head to feel safer but my heart is stopping and my breathing worsens. I feel like I'm about to be shot.
So I run out finally and in the parking lot I just randomly break down into tears. I was scared that it had gotten this bad where I only feel safe in my apartment. I just feel like I'm losing and even the VA is a minefield I have to circumnavigate in order to get help but I can't because it is a hot bed of noise, lights, rapid human interaction and impending danger.
Now I can't go to public restaurants that are crowded without my heart just beating out my chest. I wasn't this bad even a month ago, everything has been getting worse and worse.
I don't know what to do or where to go. I feel like they've made such a big deal about veteran suicides but why is it that I'm fighting up a hill just to get them to listen to me
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ptsd
|
I experience this all the time and I was wondering if others do too
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OCD
|
Everyone that posts is deathly afraid of secretly being evil or having hurt people in the past despite evidence otherwise. Everyone is scared of being accused of a crime they didn’t commit or being cancelled for something they said when they were 13, and everyone is 100% sure that it’s just a matter of time before their friends and family realise they’re an irredeemable piece of shit and abandon them.
But that’s all just a coincidence, because the only person actually guilty of all those things is ME.
Love having this brain.
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OCD
|
It's not an overstament when I say that I'm fuming right now.
To give some background, the kid who said it used to be the class nerd and was know to be really smart, like *really* smart. But over the last 2 years he has changed a lot.
He is still known to be very smart but he is also like an excerise freak who goes around telling people they should start working out and stuff. He's like the stereotypical vegan who tells everybody they're a vegan and that you should also become one, but for exercise.
And now I don't have a problem with encouraging people to excerise but he does it in a very toxic way. Me however, I'm known as the computer nerd whos short and not very strong. I do try to exercise, was able to start a routine where I ran 3km 3 times a week.
However now that school has started and the weather is getting worse I have lost the routine.
Now back to what happened.
He was doing arm-wrestling with some other kid, who later on would agree with him and his "ADHD is fake" take. He (not the "adhd is fake" guy but the other kid i just mentioned) challenged me to arm-wrestle as a kind of half joke. I accepted and lost pretty hard but that was expected so I laughed it off.
But then it started. I'm going to make it easier for my self and call the "adhd is fake kid" Ed from now on and the kid who I arm wrestled Dave.
So Ed told me he thinks my ADHD is fake. I didn't hear him because just as he did that my teacher told me to go back to my chair. I asked Ed to repeat what he said because I heard him say something about ADHD.
He then starts telling me his totally deranged theory of how ADHD is fake and that it's just that your attention span is bad because you play to much videogames and watch youtube all day instead of exercising. All while I am completely dumbfounded and Dave is laughing because "i look so confused lol".
He also says that I should try not playing videogames or watching youtube for a whole week and excercise instead and then my ADHD should be cured or something I don't know.
Now both of them obviously know nothing about ADHD, I mean they didn't believe me when I told them people with ADHD can have better focus than people without if it's something they enjoy.
Now I had been listening to him for a minute or so and apparently my teacher noticed I wasn't working and went to tell me I should get back to working. He stod and listen to what they said for a while and first he said "oh he is probably just trying to say the right things to make you mad" but then Ed said that he wasn't doing that and started explaining his "theory" to the teacher.
*AND THE GUY TOOK HIS SIDE*
*HE ACTUALLY AGREED WITH ED*
And then for like 10 min he sat there and disscused with Ed and Dave about how before the internet he would have no students with attention problems and that even after the internet became a thing he had noticed how students who lived on the country side never had attention problems unlike students who lived in areas with good internet.
I literally sat there and listen to them completely dumbfounded. I didn't even say anything I just listened and after a minute or so I just turned away and started working again, all the while they kept discussing how ADHD was fake *right next to me, a kid with ADHD.*
They didn't even ask me about my perspective they just sat there and discussed something that they didn't understand at all next to me, a person who *literally has that thing they are discussing and calling fake*.
This has made me lost all the respect I had for that teacher. I don't know what to do man. I don't know if I should tell anybody about it or if there is anything I should know.
I've even started doubting my self and found my self thinking "what if Ed was right".
I'm just confused.
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ADHD
|
Dear fellow loosers,
I have this conundrum and I though maybe someone who have been through something similar can share his two cents.
So I have depression and anxiety. Needless to say that they prevent me from making any meaningful changes in my life. Stagnating career, weight problems, lack of interest in fashion, etc etc etc. I'm going through a tough time lately and what I would give for a cuddle from a girl. In the same time I can't be in a relationship because I don't think anyone would out up with all the shit in my life. What to do? I tried finding an fwb thing but I don't think this would work for me because I crave emotional connection, not sex. So? Any suggestions?
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depression
|
I'm going to do an OCD challenge for July where I focus on fighting a different theme every week and set a new exposure challenge every day. Anyone wanna do it along with me? Obviously not doing the same things but like...checking in for accountability?
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OCD
|
My thoughts are further away and no longer torturing me every second which is a big plus! but now theres all this open space and time that would usually be spent on obsessions/compulsions and it’s leaving me extremely bored. It’s like i’m not used to being at peace and am having to adjust to this new state of mind. I know I need to practice mindfulness and being in the moment but it’s more uncomfortable than I would have thought. Does anyone else experience this or understand what I mean, how do you cope?
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OCD
|
Does reading people’s posts on here add more fuel to your fire? There’s some things I hadn’t thought but after reading a few peoples posts I’m now thinking them when I’m having my intrusive thoughts. Mainly suicidal out of nowhere when hugging my partner etc.
It’s all very confusing.
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depression
|
I just started working on my paper that's due on Wednesday, I already got an extension on it. Can I please get some motivational words of wisdom to help me keep going?
I'm writing a philosophical paper on the contrast between Dualism and Computational theory of the mind :)
I have had a pretty stressful week with lots of emotional ups and down and could really use any support you can offer.
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ADHD
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What do you think about bringing up obsessions and allowing the anxiety to pass, on a regular basis? Seems to help with building mental strength against obsessive thoughts.
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OCD
|
I was diagnosed an Aspie a few years ago (late diagnosed). Even though I was diagnosed, I didn’t really delve into it, other than general information, nothing about meltdowns, for example. As a result, I’m still learning about my Aspie self.
I think I just had a meltdown. It’s not violent like with head banging, but mainly crying. Looking back in life, I think it would be teenage moodiness/shouting, if I’m around people. So I’m not sure of all my triggers for one yet.
With this, I think some of my triggers is anxiety, overthinking, and being told to change. For example, I have trouble making friends and I go overboard in doing so and not realizing it. When I do realize it, it can send me into an anxiety/overthinking spiral which can trigger a meltdown of crying and having to isolate.
Sometimes right before I have a meltdown, I might post something on social media such as ‘Needing to take a break due to XYZ…’, and once the meltdown is over and go into the hangover phase (I like to call it that because it’s instant embarrassment and regret for going into meltdown), I realize what I’ve done and delete the post.
My question is, has anyone here have done something like this?
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aspergers
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I feel like suicide is my best option. I can’t take the rumination anymore. I convince myself of the worst possible outcome of every situation i stubble upon. Daily life has become an utter nightmare.
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OCD
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For me this is the worse of all my ocd and i am reminded by it 24/7 . Feeling good a little , a little boost in my neurotransmitters realising this, feeling bad again in like 0.5 seconds non stop all day long .
Laughing , is this the maximal funny thing ? Boom exhaustion . Feeling good again , is this the maximal feeling good ? Ultimate dread again . I may sound weird but this is what i constantly feel , even feeling joy feels bad? My brain is so internally fucked seems like there is no escape in this , i don't know how to explain myself.. I can only sleep to ignore it and wake up the same bs day again and again forever .
I am hyper aware of everything or something and it only gets worse getting older . Even doing drugs doesnt work anymore and leave me with an even more empty feeling than ever . Every human interaction causes this , its tiredsome for real .
I feel very tired ALL the time because of this , i literally cant do anything about it . The hatred i feel towards everything Jezus christ. I need a new brain because its permanently shattered .
Am i weird ? What is this ? Please help !
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OCD
|
My boyfriend sometimes panics over organizing trips and being on time and having things in order and checked twice to be sure. I'm personally quite the contrary of him on this subject and tend to just go with the flow and figure things out as they present themselves to me.
He is diagnosed with Asperger's and has been for years, and our relationship is still quite new as we've only known each other for around a year now.
I love him so dearly and I would like to know if you had any advices on how to help in these stressful situations for him, since I tend to get a little mad over how stressed he gets over '' not so stressful'' things. I want to change my behavior towards these situations because the last thing I want to do is diminish his feelings and make him feel bad for feeling what he feels, but I'm not sure how.
I try my best to reassure him and tell him everything will be sorted out as he always plans things very well.
When we're together in these situations I try to be comforting physically too, as it's one of our main love languages.
Sadly we're only rarely together as we're far apart geographically, so the effectiveness of physical comfort is not always an available option.
Any advices would be nice to hear
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aspergers
|
Hi people!
​
So I wanted to know if anyone also has difficulty identifying the main idea.
When I'm during the teacher's class, I often tend to write everything down because I don't know how to discriminate which details are irrelevant, I think everything is important.
Do you also have this difficulty? And do you have an efficient strategy to solve this problem? If yes, which one?
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aspergers
|
I couldn’t burp for 25 years… it gave me constant panic attacks bc I felt like I couldn’t breathe when gas was trapped especially after I ate. I got a procedure done a year before my extreme ocd began. But I am now afraid that all those years of constant panic attacks (which were probably way more attacks than the normal person with panic attacks or anxiety has) will have contributed to the stress and tolerance level and make me snap and do my fear. I know I won’t find anyone else who is like me and also has ocd. So I feel like I have no statistic to find relief off of. I’m so scared and I feel like I should just lock myself up incase.
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OCD
|
I’m kinda scared, anyone take this before? First time is tonight, I just took it and I’m a bit nervous
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depression
|
It’s like there’s nothing outside of it for me. No friends, no girlfriend, nothing. I could go wander around town like a homeless bum hoping that some random stranger would strike up a conversation with me, but that hardly ever works and I feel defeated after doing something like that anyway.
|
depression
|
Recently found this on r/Showerthoughts with some minor adjustments. Thought some of us needed to hear it:
You are not morally culpable for your subconscious thoughts, because you are not your subconscious. You are the observer of it.
Sending strength, friends!
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OCD
|
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