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I was on the 5th story of my local library and was staring out the glass wall I to the streets and traffic and pedestrians. If the glass wasn't there I would have jumped today. 😞
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depression
|
I made a post a few months back on Facebook saying that I probably wouldn't speak to my family again. It's been 3 months and I haven't felt the desire to reconnect, nor have my family members made any attempts to.
What does/should a family do? Is it actually important to have one? What do you get from your family as an autistic person? I just want to know if there is anything worth salvaging or if I should just move on and find my own? My issue is that I don't actually think my family cares at all for my welfare or even thinks about me.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation -- independent and thinking of whether to reconnect with their families? Have you tried it? How did it go?
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aspergers
|
Well still in the same spot trying to save money to have a life again. Yeah global pandemic but at least the stimulus in the us is helping. It's gotten so bad I basically disassociate from my home life at work cause it's not a life. I work my ass off and think I'd be further by now sadly no such luck but hey an inch at a time is still technically progress. Rent has gone up so I'll need to look into low income or something. Want a vehicle but.im trying to avoid getting screwed at the finish line. Been there enough yes to know but it's exhausting 😸 here's a kitty. Gotta slog through the rest of school too the maybe I'll be able to get a job that pays enough to do this shit on my own. No need for conversation it would be nice but the last post was ignored so not expecting anything just like the folks around haha.
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aspergers
|
Hello all,
31 year old here, recently diagnosed with inattentive type adhd. I'm trialing vyvanse with my doctor but I would like to look into additional behavioural help. Are there any other health care practitioners you have worked with that you found helpful in managing your diagnosis?
I have been working with a counsellor for a while but he is not very knowledgable about adhd. I am a bit skeptical of coaching because there isn't really any regulation in that field.
Thanks!
|
ADHD
|
Hi, I am a 27 years old female, I was diagnosed with ADHD few months ago.
I love being outside but after 30 minutes or more I get tired of everything that is happening outside. Like the sound that birds make, the train and cars sounds, everything that is moving and everything what makes sound makes me tired. The only thing I want to do at that moment is go back home and take a 30 minute nap to recharge.
I have the same "problem" when I am surrounded by people. I can feel their energy and I can't keep up when people talk to me and eachother. It is like my brain wants to know EVERYTHING that is happening at that moment and it makes me tired and when I am tired I get irritated.
I also feel like a bad mom lately. Every damn sound makes me tired and when my kid has a bad time and he cries it makes me so mad and I want it to stop because I can't take it anymore. I get angry and yell at him and I really don't want to do that but I have 0 control of my emotions when these things happen.
I discoverd that it helps when I go to a quiet space and put my airpods in so I can't hear anything but I feel so much guilt. I don't want to be like this, I want to be "normal" I know it is not good to think like this but it sucks.
I have been like this my whole life and it makes me a bitch when I don't take the time to recharge. I feel like a other person, I can't "control" my body when everything is too much.
Does someone feels like this too? Because I am wondering if I also have autism. I also have social anxiety and other things that are related to autism.
If I did'nt have kids, a partner, family, etc. I will be home alot and this way of thinking is so sad because nature is so beautiful.
Sorry for my random sentences, I am just so tired and can't think correctly anymore
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ADHD
|
past few nights ive been going through a bad dream phase but whenever i wake up its like i can "feel" the dream on me. sometimes i have like intrusive flashbacks of emotions from those dreams and it makes me extremely uncomfortable. anyways i was wondering if anyone has felt the same, i really hope this is just a faze because intrusively feeling "vibes" is so uncomfortable especially when they're so negative.
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OCD
|
On this forum we have discussed a lot about how ADHD/ADD people tend to be chronic collectors and move from hobby to hobby. But I am curious—how many of you collect things that others would consider trash?
In my house, 4 out of 5 of us have diagnosed ADD—myself (mom, 46) and my three teenage daughters. At some point in the last 18 years, we have all had collections that would be considered trash. Here are a few:
DumDum candy wrappers
Caps from glass beer bottles
Empty toilet paper rolls
Scraps of interesting fabrics
Tabs from aluminum soda cans
Sea glass and pebbles
Beads from broken jewelry
Buttons
Pieces of cool broken pottery
I bring this up because my 13 year olds collection of Dum Dum wrappers was thrown out by our wonderful cleaning ladies. It is frustrating because they were neatly saved in an old metal lunch box. But I understand why they would just toss them. And I had asked them to clean my kids rooms because it they had gotten out of hand. My kids knew it was going to happen and were overall very happy to get the help. But when you collect “trash”, having it thrown out it is a risk you run!
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ADHD
|
Hi all! My doctor and I have finally decided talk therapy isn’t enough, and he gave me a list of some medications to research. I’m checking trust worthy medical research, but nothing beats real life experiences so I was hoping to hear about anyone experiences with
-Saphris
-Geobon
-Anafranil
Plz let me know about your experiences!
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OCD
|
I'm just wondering if anyone else experiences this. Not sure if it's my ADHD or something else. When I feel strong emotions (anxiety, sadness, anger, stress, excitement, fear, or even if I'm very hungry or cold), I make a face. All the muscles in my face tense up in a weird way that I can't control. It scares people because they think I'm really, really angry at them. Someone described me as "furious," when I was really experiencing deep passion for a cause I care about. Anger is almost never the case. But because people are unwilling to disassociate the face from anger, they assume I have huge anger problems to the point they think I want to hurt people. So I get kicked out of social circles all the time. I'm neither a violent nor an angry person. Just stressed and, now, lonely. This week I got kicked out of my church because I accidentally made the face at a girl. I was not mad at her, I just happened to look in her general direction while feeling stressed. She got scared, described it to the pastor, and that was the end of many, many "friendships." I got phone calls from people yelling at me saying I don't know how to treat women, and one person said I am demon possessed. All because my facial muscles get really tense sometimes.
Has anyone else experienced something like this? If so, have you found a way to cope and not make the face? It's involuntary so I'm not sure what could be done.
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ADHD
|
I got diagnosed about three weeks ago but suspected it for a long time. My therapist has seen I’ve been having a rough time lately and suggested I bring my fiancé in to a session so he could learn a bit about it. He agreed and he was so kind and compassionate. I started reading “The Body Keeps The Score” and mentioned how much I loved it, and he offered to read it.
Having an amazing support system makes all the difference 😭
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ptsd
|
Feeling really fucking shitty and tired. Don't want anything anymore. Everyday I go to sleep I hope that I won't wake up, and when I do my first thoughts is fuck. Tired of school, tired of having just to be another human whose life will be just like everyone elses, tired of hoping for something better, tired of this whole world. Hate that even when something realy nice happens to me deep down I know that this is all just meaningless, everything that we do everyday is. When I'm happy I know that I won't be tomorrow and that all the problems will come back. Tired of thinking how much of my life have I wasted sitting on a chair in a desk, while I could've been climbing fucking mountains, travelling with trains, actually helping people or maybe even finding something that I really like to do and I'm good at . Tired getting home at 6 pm and getting to do 3 hours of homework. Tired of knowing that I won't be happy and knowing that just makes me feel hopeless.
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depression
|
Hey; I'm wondering if I might have PTSD from 2 injuries I caused to myself?
When I was a really young kid, I accidentally cut off my finger. It wasn't carelessness on any guardian or parent, I was just playing with a toy with a hinge and another girl did it by accident. Ever since I manically destroy my fingernails to the point where they bleed and are eternally sore. I've never been to therapy for this issue.
When I was a teenager I was really drunk and angry and slammed my head aggressively into a glass window. I've only got foggy memory, but I think I did it 30 40 50 times? I feel like I gave myself a concussion and may have gotten brain damage. It wasn't properly examined because of a suicide attempt a few days later and I wouldn't let anyone near me. I tried to talk to my doctor about it last year but he brushed it off.
And the worst part is, I did both of them, to myself. :(
Could both of these incidents have effected me, like on a deep level, that I can't heal from? How would I even start trying?
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ptsd
|
I don’t want to come across cheesy but I’m so thankful for the people on here, whether you post, comment, or are silent. You all make me feel so much less alone. My heart goes out to all of you filled with immense pain and fear from whatever you’re going through. We really are so strong, even though we so often don’t believe it.
And if you worry that something is deeply wrong with you, just know I care about you. No matter how bad you feel your situation may be. I have so much love and compassion for you. This illness has taught me that I truly am in no place to ever judge someone, no matter how intense their past is, their mental health is, etc. Everyone here has something in common: with intense guilt and worry comes intense compassion and care about being good. Doing the right thing. So many people go about their lives doing bad things with zero remorse, meanwhile the people on here have such big hearts.
I don’t even know what I’m trying to say at this point, but just.... thank you. For still being here. And for sharing all your stories.
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OCD
|
I am so unbelievably lonely and broken. It’s like when you go to start the car on a cold day, it takes forever but eventually boots up. It’s like being in a crowded room trying to talk to someone but they cannot or do not want to hear you.
It’s a deep ache, in fact my soul aches. I ache to be understood. I ache to be loved. Damnit, I ache to be liked by people. My family. My friends. The people I grew up with in high school. Why do people have to be so callous sometimes? The worse part out of any of this is I miss my old self.
I miss the way I was before my mental illnesses took the better part of me. I miss being happy. I miss being a beacon of light in someone’s day, night or world. These illnesses frustrate me to no end, and the worse part, they frustrate those who love me.
The people who love me or the professionals who care for me do not understand the emotional dysregulation, they do not understand the rollercoaster of it all, to be happy only to have it all taken from you two minutes later.
I am the face of someone who struggles with Borderline Personality Disorder. I am not ‘crazy’ like you may be getting spoon fed by the media. I am misunderstood. I feel emotions so deeply they sometimes rip me open and swallow me whole. Would you like this to happen to you? I bet you said no. So, be gentle on those who experience severe emotional dysregulation.
All in all, I am the face of 1 in 4 Canadians who struggle with mental illness. Check on your friends and family and support them. Do not let them slip away. If you are experiencing mental illness, be gentle with yourself and seek help.
Love,
A mentally ill Canadian
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depression
|
If diagnosed/suspected to have ASD later in life, what were your childhood/teenage years like?
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aspergers
|
Has anyone gone to residential treatment for ocd? I’ve been to inpatient but just wondering if anyone has been to a longer term treatment that has helped? I have been doing weekly therapy and tried different medications this entire past year, yet I don’t feel any better. Just wondering what’s left out there for me to try. Thanks!
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OCD
|
I have OCD (like intrusive thoughts and such). And about 6 months ago I found out that my husband was cheating on me. I forgave him for it considering how he's a good husband in all other aspect, and also considering the future of my children.
I thought I was moving on, but I keep getting angry at him for various reasons. I just cant help it. My husband tries to manage it as much as he can, but there comes a point where he can't take it anymore. And this is having a huge toll on the whole family. Is this part of OCD? How can I possibly solve this problem?
|
OCD
|
Fucking piece of shit. I've done everything for you mom and this is what I get in return? Stay happy, 'just fucking enjoy' . How in the fuck am I supposed to fucking enjoy when my head is full of intrusive thoughts telling me I'm a schizophrenic psychopath. I'm sorry guys, I'm just way too angry.
I can't even talk to my best fucking friend of 5 years. HOW IN THE FUCK is a person supposed to deal with social anxiety OCD and depression alone? Without medications or therapy? 'Just talk to your friend' . Mom how do you expect her to deal with all this? How can I ever put this all on her? That's so selfish. Fuck you mom. Fuck you. You can't pay for your son's happiness . Fuck you.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. why doesn't anyone listen? I'm begging you. Please help me. Please give me a fucking break. Please. I ghosted all of my friends, if I ghost my best friend I will literally fucking kill myself.
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OCD
|
I posted this in another subreddit but felt maybe I could find someone with the same problem here.
I have finally gotten a psychologist for my ptsd And I cannot for the life of me recall a part of it.
I started crying and he asked me why i looked so scared and I told him I honestly do not know.
I payed attention really well until the last part where i kept zoning out and felt like I had been awake for 24 hours straight, and then suddenly I just felt really stressed out.
This has happened before I believe but I dont recall much as I was not talking to someone at that time. That time, when i came back to it my boyfriend asked me what was wrong and I said nothing. I then realized I was crying without really making a sound and he told me I had been staring at a wall for like 7 minutes straight.
It was just weird as this doesnt usually happen, it has only happened a couple of times where I literally zone out to the point where I lose time. It feels like nothing has happened before I realize I feel like a wreck. Like something did happen.
Was it a ‘’flashback’’ that was like too traumatic to comprehend or what? Cause i know I have blocked out a lot of memories from my life. Most flashbacks I have from that day is just them laughing at me but I would remember that. I honestly cant understand what this means.
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ptsd
|
So I’ve been thinking about getting a service dog. I’ve been off my medication for awhile now-I’m not choosing to do this, I just don’t have a way to get my medicine from the pharmacy at this time. I’ve realized that I’m a complete wreck without my medication, and if this happens again I don’t wanna rely on my friends who aren’t always there to escort me to places or comfort me during emotionally distressing times. I also express similar behaviours when I am on my meds, but they aren’t as bad. I did think and talk to my old therapist about getting a service dog when I was younger, but I knew my mom’s husband would never allow a dog in his house. But know that I live on campus and away from him, I think a furry friend would be very beneficial. I am a broke college student, so I’m not sure how I’d be able to adopt a service dog. Any advice would be appreciated :)
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ptsd
|
Me & my bf have been together for 5 months now but For the last couple months been getting intrusive thoughts that I don’t love my boyfriend anymore and that I don’t want to be in a relationship anymore and I know deep down I love him and want this relationship but my anxiety and thoughts keeps bringing me down I have had a good weeks then all a sudden I’m back feeling like this I know it’s pointless but can’t shake the thoughts and feelings off . I am currently on antidepressants but only help a little my previous relationship were never good but this one is the one is really good we have our ups and downs like any relationship I just wanna be happy and feel no anxiety towards my boyfriend and get rid of them thoughts I hate them and even cry sometimes when I get them and when I feel better I realise I do love and care about him but why these thoughts it’s like my anxiety is trying to ruin something good and I know I ain’t my anxiety that’s why I have stuck by him through it all.
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OCD
|
Mine is in 2 days and I’m sick of calling it that. This isn’t a celebration or remembrance but I need to call
It something especially to give a heads up to my friends.
Thanks fellow warriors
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ptsd
|
Hi fellow Aspians. This is not my first time burning out but this is the first time I've been crying uncontrollably for days. Every single emotion feels ten times worse and all I want to do is crawl into bed and never move again. Is this burnout? Or just emotional instability? Please help, I'm getting confused.
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aspergers
|
I was on zoloft and I was 50 times nicer and less angry. However, I wasn't getting through my work as I was so fatigued and I got really fat really quick. Like I dunno, people on forums I was on said 'count calories' which I didn't do but honestly I was just ravenous for sugar and carbs. And the normal willpower I have was not there to access when I was on the meds. So I stopped the medication.
I just wondered if anyone had these specific issues and found something that worked well in place of zoloft. I was so much happier on zoloft but the weight gain is unsustainable as I just do not carry weight well. I also cannot be fatigued as I am a single parent who works full time. The old hopelessness is creeping back in hard-core and I just hate that my natural state, ie who I am as a person, is so horrible. I am the type who says irrational things and gets into miserable self loathing spirals and pick fights with my ex and strangers ugh. I fucking hate myself and I want zoloft me back but without the side effects.
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depression
|
So, basically part of my trauma is due to my mother abusing me. Not to get into too much detail it was mainly emotional and neglectful and on the occasion physical. Every time I try to talk to her about it I’m met with her calling me the abusive one where so goes on and on about “parental abuse”. The most I ever did was hit her back or yell at her when I was trying to protect myself. Also, last time I tried to talk to her about it she first tried to argue that it didn’t happen and then she said “fine maybe it did maybe it didn’t. But what about all the stuff you did to us”. When I was 12? What could a middle schooler who was less than 100lbs possibly do to you. I told her I wasn’t going to apologize because I was just a kid and my dad said “what’s next you were just a teenager? Or a young adult? Or you were just an adult?” What the hell am I supposed to say to these people? I’m tired of visiting them every week pretending nothing happened. While they’re perfectly fine I’m still struggling with what they put me through. What should I do?
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ptsd
|
i’m not doing the best in my calc class and my parents don’t know so whenever they do something for me i feel guilty cause i feel like a failure. it’s stupid cause i know what i’m doing for math, it’s just that the problems on quizzes aren’t what my teacher makes us practice so now i feel lost and stupid.
|
depression
|
It took the social media blackout last night to realise how much social media helps me. I'm an adult and live with my parents in a small town where all my friends have left. I'm slowly piecing my life back together and making connections on social media helps a lot. My instagram is basically an ADHD support group, and is a relief I need in a world where I feel alienated often.
I'm sure you also experience this but being alone with my thoughts for a long time is often hard. Social media gives me quick bursts of dopamine in between tasks and really helps to pull me back to earth when my thoughts are too intense.
But my dad was making ignorant comments last night saying the blackout will help to cure our addiction. Its so fustrating to me because life is hard sometimes and I genuinely feel that if used responsibly, social media makes it better. Idk, I just feel I'd be struggling much more without it and it does NOT affect my attention span it actually makes it better because it prevents me going off into a daydream for the rest of the day. Ugh.
Sorry just ranting. Wondering if you feel the same.
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ADHD
|
Sitting in the car, I am severely depressed and anxious because of how my life is at the moment. And it just hit me.
Used to write all the time on a roleplaying website, I stopped getting on, and I disappeared on my few internet friends. I just went into hermit mode, and all of the sudden I miss my character and the website and the people but I cannot make my way back to it.
I'm 29, taking care of my sick grandma and I am watching her slowly deteriorate. I have no money. I don't have friends and I just hate life at the moment.
The depression just flat out got worse than 'living with it.' Just a quick dip in sadness and ache. I don't want to get out of the car. I just want to stop. I'm tired. I'm lonely. I hate myself. I hate how things turn out. I hate how fast things went by. I hate seeing my grandma change and suffer because of a stroke, I love her so much and there is no help. I'm scared, I don't know what to do.
|
depression
|
So, I didn’t know how title this. But all my life I wasn’t able to achieve like good grades due my adhd and other disabilities like dyslexia. I even had teachers tell me that being A* student wouldn’t be possible for me to achieve.
This year, thanks to finally get some of the support I need. For the first time in my life I became one of the top students that I always dreamt about being. And I felt… Shit, stupid and an impostor. I maintained these very good grades till mid way the second teaching block where I completely fell apart due anxiety and depression.
Now, a couple months later I feel this happened because I put so much importance and truly believed that if I became an amazing student I would become more confident and beat my anxiety and depression.
Ofc now I feel even more stupid for even believing any of this in the first and I feel like I will never again be able to be a first class student.
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ADHD
|
This is also a question post, but it's mostly me venting.
Ok, so, when I was in late elementary school, I always used to watch Youtube on my 3DS until late hours of the night even when I had school in the morning. And because of this, I started to develop "rituals".
See, it all stemmed from a fear of my parents walking in to my room while I was watching youtube, see the hour, and ground me/take my 3DS away.
After this, it got into my head that if I didn't do X Y and Z, they would take my 3DS/internet away. "If I didn't walk these specific videos each day", "if I stepped to much on one side of the drivway while walking in", "if I didn't correct the angle of my 3DS so it's perfectly straight", If I didn't step on each leaf on my way to school." It would often make me late at school or late falling asleep, and I would mentally punch myself thinking "this is stupid, why are you doing this", but keep doing it.
Now, the reason why I question myself is that, it stopped.
After around a year of doing it and a therapy session, it just didn't bother me anymore. I don't really know why. I guess that I just got it in my head that "no, you not touching this rock won't make it so that your internet will be gone." Most of the time, from what I've seen, OCD doesn't really just go away.
Another thing that's making me question it is if I'm wrong. There's a really good line in a song that goes "Hey do you know I've got depression, self diagnosed thought I should mention!" that's really stuck with me. I don't want to be known as a misappropriating dumbass who doesn't know what they're talking about and silencing suffering people with their fake OCD.
So I guess I just want to ask if OCD just ending is something that really happens, I was experiencing something else, or if I was just a really snobby perfectionist.
Tl;Dr: is OCD just stopping randomly a thing that OCD does?
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OCD
|
Just gotta get this off my chest. This fact at least applied to myself. So when I thought I have found someone only to be disappointed later I realised this very fact isn't going to change. I really do envy those living happily with their partner/soulmate or whatever you call them. The disappointment is just so much that I don't even know how to fix myself anymore even if I bawled my eyeballs out. Trying to crawl out from the hole was already hard enough but to find myself falling back into it is just overwhelming for me. I feel like crap and it has been this way for a week. Was down with sickness for few days ago and I hoped to be cared by loved one but only to be in despair. Bitter truth surely hurts alot.
|
depression
|
I used to be just sad about it but now I’m really going stir crazy to have the only friends I have be my mom and dad. Bout to check myself in I can’t do this anymore I can’t do this like I did from 20-25 years old. I want to have happy hours too like my mom gets to go have. help
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aspergers
|
I've been washing myself over and over again, and I still feel like my arm grazed the sink as I walked away, even though logically I know if that actually happened I would have instantly known it and felt disgusted. But still that feeling is there. What if it was just the slightest touch and I was too relieved at finally being able to walk away to realize? I should have stayed focused on everything that was happening instead of letting my guard down.
I feel like shit. Like I need to get up again and not just wash my hands and arms again, but this time also wipe the things I've touched since then. My chair, my desk, my mouse, my keyboard. I lost focus for a split second and I've created more work for myself due to it.
But every time I walk out of the bathroom, my mom stomps around and slams doors in a sort of, "finally the psycho is out" move. As if I wasn't trying like hell to get out every second of it. And I pretend like I can't hear it and that it doesn't bother me, as if she doesn't even exist, and I focus on good thoughts. I imagine there's somebody supporting me, encouraging me to walk away, even though I know it's fake. But it helps. Guess she'll have to curse some more because I'm going back in. It really was silly of me to think that an automatic faucet and an automatic soap dispenser would largely solve my problems.
And I guess I won't be able to study today because I feel so utterly drained. From washing myself. It seems ridiculous but it's true, doing this is like working a full-time job, more than that even. I guess I could use this as an explanation for why I'm a loser who's done nothing in life, but I know better. Even without it, I'd still be a waste of space.
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OCD
|
TLDR: I am interested in which planners y’all have used for school – specifically in college or grad school.
I have been through my fair share of planner types/brands myself so I would love to hear everyone else’s thoughts. My system is currently just rocking with the google calendar, because I have a lot of clients/appointments/meetings/classes/etc…but I used to love using a physical planner. The only problem is – I never keep up with it. I’ll do great for a week – a month at tops, and then it is forgotten.
Has anyone in grad school or college used a physical planner that they were actually able to use? Thank you!!
|
ADHD
|
I’ve work in retail for 5 years, and had a relatively easy job with my previous employer. I could get away with slacking off and didn’t have to pay too much attention to tasks. That was until I got made redundant, and wound up at a different company in a (somehow) higher position. I’m now responsible for running an entire store, all while having untreated ADHD lol.
My colleagues definitely think I’m “careless” and “clueless” and I look like I’m really lazy even though my brain sort of crashes when I’m presented with more than two things to do within a deadline. The amount of times I’ve lost important equipment/keys... or just completely lost track of time is unreal. I’m still on a probation period and I’m scared my boss will fire me if I don’t improve.
The other night, my boyfriend just straight up sat me down and said “I think you have ADHD and need to speak to someone”. I started bawling my eyes out because I’ve suspected it for a while just never had the incentive to do anything about it. Now I’m working in a fast-paced role, it’s highlighted how much of a problem I have. We’ve agreed to speak to a doctor on Monday (I’m in the U.K.) in hopes of working toward a proper diagnosis and getting medicated. I feel like it would be life-changing for me.
|
ADHD
|
So I don't want this to be a self-diagnosis thing, but I've just been reflecting lately and thought this could be a possibility.
I was "diagnosed" with ADD as a kid via a questionnaire from my primary doctor or something, but my mom never took it into stock because she didn't want me to be labeled and get put on medication, understandably so.
I always did well in school. Despite this, I was extremely lazy and spent most of my day in middle school/highschool laying in bed and not moving; every little thing felt like it took so much energy out of me. In elementary school I had a problem with talking too much, being hyperactive, completely zoning out while I was doing something. But my mom said I "outgrew it" since I exhibit significantly fewer symptoms now, just some quirks. I'm killing it in college, but only because I have anxiety to do well (pre-med) or else my future will go down the drain.
I can focus on people in conversation normally. I get very distracted while doing work but that's normal; however once I start doing work it's very difficult for me to stop and break the flow. I'm still pretty hyperactive but only around friends/people I'm comfortable with, and I know when to shut up. I can make it to places on time now, whereas when I was a kid I simply couldn't get anywhere on time. I still waste a lot of time thinking about what I have to do instead of actually doing it. I function at a pretty high level, I just have some really bad thought patterns characteristic of anxiety, which is the primary driving force of the things I do now.
The thing that made me think I still have some remnants of ADD is that whenever I have coffee, it feels like my brain instantly clears up and I can think again; I feel extremely happy and look forward to the future instead of catastrophizing. The latter effect isn't really as characteristic of coffee, but I genuinely feel HAPPY when I drink it, like clouds parting type happy. It's either that or it makes me really sleepy. I started having black coffee around a year ago and maintain my consumption very well (1 cup a day). I'm not addicted to anything really, I avoid alcohol and w**d.
What do you guys think?
|
ADHD
|
This was my previous post
[https://www.reddit.com/r/depression/comments/rfh31q/feel\_like\_an\_asshole\_for\_not\_being\_happy\_that/](https://www.reddit.com/r/depression/comments/rfh31q/feel_like_an_asshole_for_not_being_happy_that/)
​
Again i don't know what to write.
I messaged her asking her for a coffee and to meet again.
i tried to explain to her i got weird last time because i was scared, hell i still am with the message sent.
i don't know if or when she will respond and honestly i wouldn't blame her if she just ignored it all together.
I wish in life you could show and share your innermost feelings you have for someone and the radiance that it shines, words just seem so clumsy for me to use.
i always try to end what ever i say with a little joke just to try and ease the tension, ive always been one who was more than happy to be the butt of the joke to see others smile and enjoy themselves.
I know there is people who can easily filter from person to person but its never been the case with me, im always eggs in one basket, fully committed and loyal to that person.
i don't know what to type anymore, i hope she gives me the chance, the chance to show her how amazing we could be.
|
depression
|
Hello
I’ve recently recovered from 2 years of self harming and depression now as I thought life was ok , my clothes itch, I’ve tried special sensitive washing powder I’ve tried no washing powder and some clothes are ok others burn , the funny thing is my work clothes don’t, just clothes like joggers, tee shirts hoodies, now I’ve brought cheap clothes and expensive ones and it’s all the same , any thoughts? Ideas ? Please
|
OCD
|
My wife has been dealing with teeth infections for over a decade... Today, for the 3rd time in the last year. They canceled her surgery to have them all removed...
She is in pain... She has had three heart attacks. The teeth NEED OUT... She is crying and upset they canceled her again on a technicality... Finances are shit... She used all her vacation time for surgery and recovery and cancel her one day before surgery AGAIN...
​
I am so relieved I don't have to go into that building/leave/deal with people... Now I feel major loads of guilt.
I am so relieved I don't have to be around people, touch door handles, get into elevators. Deal with all the physical pain that comes with walking long distances (medical issues). fix myself, make sure people aren't watching me fix myself. Be paranoid that I am being judged for fixing myself. (fixing could include, straightening my clothes/tics... etc..
Then I find out I don't have to go anywhere...
**Elation...**
and now...
GUILT!
|
OCD
|
Dat moment when you get called out as a monster because you're autistic...
|
aspergers
|
This is probably going to be mostly a rant, but I am so mad at my daughter. It is very difficult to discipline her, because if she gets upset it's like she completely overwhelms her senses and lashes out. She screams and immediately repeats things like "no one cares about me," "you don't love me," "you only care about \[her brother\]." Even when we try to calmly reassure her, she dismisses us, either continuing to repeat how much we hate her and/or calling us a liar (which for some reason really upsets me). Occasionally she'll hit, but that's, thankfully calmed down. It can help to feed her during these times; getting her to walk outside; take a car ride; or just making myself available silently until she calms down, but getting her to do anyone of those things is extremely difficult if not impossible at certain points during the meltdown. Even after the fact, attempting to impose some sort of punishment just restarts the meltdown. God help you if you try to impose a punishment (or even suggest a reward!) when she's in full meltdown mode. If you say she can't use her tablet for the rest of the week, that'll become she can <i>never</i> use her tablet.
I mention all this right now, because my wife just informed me that my daughter locked her in the basement this morning. Mornings can be very hard, because she gets nervous about going to school (in addition to ADHD she's been diagnosed with General Anxiety disorder). She's seeing a therapist, but that doesn't help in the heat of the moment.
I was diagnosed with ADHD around the same time as my daughter (COVID-19 revealed a lot about ourselves hasn't it?), and I know I could be trouble when I was young too. I remember going to see a therapist when I was young, and part of the rationale was my outbursts. She's a lovely kid most of the time, kind, conscientious, artistic, extremely smart, but she is a nightmare sometimes. It's very frustrating.
|
ADHD
|
i cant get anything done and when im asked to do anything in class people make fun of me. i need to get out of their as soon as possible
|
aspergers
|
5 years ago my mom took me to a psychiatrist cause my grades were dropping. He sat with me for 20 mins and diagnosed me with chronic depression. He prescribed some anti depressants which we never bought cause my parents are afraid they’ll mess up with my mind and make me crazy or something. Til this day my sleep cycle is messed up I have like one productive day in 30 mins. I sleep and lay down a lot. My chest and left arm hurts.
I wonder if I have depression can I like get over it without any medical help??
|
depression
|
Hello PTSD, my old friend
I've come to Fight With/Plead With/Scream At You again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the distorted vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of Flashback, Flashback, Stop. No More.
.
.
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light and multiple triggers
That split the night
And touched the sound of "I Told You It was A Blood Trigger Warning: Stop". Silence
.
.
And in the naked light of Hypervigilanc I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking about me without speaking
People hearing nothing I said without listening
People writing songs about how I'm broken and need to be better;
that my critic's voice never shares, except with me
And no one dared deal with reality
Not Again the sound of Nag, Nag Nag and Nag again - Give me Silence!
...
"Fools, " said I, "You do not know
My Triggers, like a cancer, grow
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words, like drip, drip, drip silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of " interpersonal difficulties or problems in relationships" Suck It Up and Silence
....
And the people bowed and prayed
To the Facebook/Reddit/Twitter god they made
And the sign flashed out its trigger warnings
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, "PTSD is just you being touchy and you need to learn that and stop"
And Screamed in the sounds of Aggggggggh Stop. No More. No More. No More. Silence
|
ptsd
|
So I don’t know if anyone else has PTSD from something similar but I’m not sure if I’m valid for why I have PTSD. The person I was dating (at the time) tried to commit suicide right in front of me, is that a valid reason to have PTSD? Idk I don’t know if anyone else is the same and I’m just not sure if I escalated it in my head or not. My ex (who it involved) told me that I shouldn’t have PTSD from it, but I constantly get these Nightmares and flashbacks. Is this a valid reason to have PTSD or did I really throw it out of proportion and is it really all in my head?
|
ptsd
|
Sorry for the throwaway, and sorry if this is the wrong subreddit. I just don't know what to do. Any time my boyfriend raises his voice at me, I feel my body freeze up. I have to go into a small space (like the bathtub) until I calm down. I just feel so on-edge, like a bear is running right towards me.
To some extent, I know it's normal to feel freaked out by conflict -- who likes conflict? But I feel like I need to get a grip on this, for my sake and for his. (I know it freaks him out to see me hiding behind the locked bathroom door.) I just feel in the moment so sure that he's going to hit me. Sometimes I wish he would do it so that the fear would go away. Even now, thirty minutes after this happened, my heart is racing and I feel as straight as a rod.
I don't have a PTSD diagnosis so it's possible I'm in the wrong place. If so, I hope one of you can point me somewhere else. I know a little about PTSD and I know I haven't seen someone die, nor did my parents physically abuse me. (My father sometimes threatened to hit me but never did, and pretty much only raised his voice.) So I apologize if this is the wrong spot or if it's spam. I just feel so lost that I don't know what to do. Lost and embarrassed -- who wants to feel like this?
Any help would be appreciated.
|
ptsd
|
Recently I sat in a friend's car and the seat was not clean, food stains around the car seats and some mess, is there risk of contamination? I put the clothes in the wash, as i do not want any dirt from that car seat on my clothes , i want to stop contamination.
I have been worried about contamination a lot, i do not want to spread dirt contamination because I am scared of bacteria and illness. How do i beat ocd?
Edit: I didn't mention that I was scared that the stains on the car seat were feces or semen , even though that is highly unlikely, the fear of contamination made me scared and now I am struggling to handle the ocd.
|
OCD
|
I was followed home last night, and no that’s not a rarity, and no I shouldn’t be reacting to the extent that I am, but the aggregation of all of these things — of SA that happened because of my ex, of physical assault, of being followed three times now — it’s making me feel broken.
How can I heal when it feels like the universe doesn’t want me to?
How can I ever be happy when things keep happening??
I’m not trying to sound overdramatic and I really do understand that these things happen a lot to women, but I feel so exhausted. I’m so tired of narrow escapes or no escapes at all.
Please help ://
|
ptsd
|
Lately I’be been anxious about lots of things. It seems I jump from one thing to another and my ocd keeps getting worse. I have always had issues with checking ocd. Checking the doors are locked, gas is off, fridge is closed, car windows are actually up, drier door is shut completely when my clothes is still in there. Even checking to make sure my protein powder canisters and medicines are tightly closed.. I recently scraped/friction burned my finger from making sure a lid was completely closed.
How can I get rid of this once and for all or at least relax on the anxiety inducing this behavior? It’s like I know it is closed and that everything is off but what makes my brain want to keep checking?? Has anyone overcame this issue? :) thanks guys
|
OCD
|
Hey all. So this will be quick and to the point, maybe the full story for another day, but I was diagnosed with PDD (persistent depressive disorder) a year and a half ago, have been ok, but still mostly feeling like I’m going through the motions. I’ve had depression for about 7 years straight now, and I don’t remember what “normal” feels like. Gone through 5 different antidepressants with varying results, 6 different counselors, psychologists , psychiatrists. I feel pretty detached most days, with heavy depersonalization every few weeks. My wife has been a trooper and super understanding, but she can tell when it’s too much and lately it’s flaring up again.
How long will this last? Am I slave to depression for the rest of my life? I’m very very tired. :(
I’ve learnt a lot on this journey about life, about myself and my past but I can’t keep going like this.
|
depression
|
Because her mom had severe OCD with compulsions that are different than mine.. her mom had what I call a classic representation of OCD; you know the stereotype of obsessively cleaning, checking locks multiple times or stoves that kind of ritual. While my rituals aren't as visual so she completely disregarded my experience, despite the fact that I have been formally diagnosed with OCD and am on 150mg of Zoloft in order to combat that... as if I didn't doubt my diagnosis enough before that!! Before I was medicated I remember her teasing me about how I never leave the house.. So I snapped at her and told her that it's hard to leave the house when you're agoraphobic and you have horrendous intrusive thoughts that won't go away.. couple that with random intrusive mental pictures of flinging myself off of a building, or getting run over by a car, or train; pretty much everything I pass by gives me some form of bullshit worry. Anyways that's all just venting... Thanks for listening.
|
OCD
|
I'm 18M and tried to medicate against adhd, that in Portugal is poorly addressed, and all I got was meds against being distracted, and around that time, 14 years or so, I started the dread and dark phase of a teenager and started to have countless anxiety attacks, around that time I started to address the bullying that I received for years and stuff. My parents got scared because they thought that was because of meds, probably so but not entirely because of that.
​
So today I wanted to address adhd again and now that I am in the university I wanted to not study to exams based on 4 days of crushing pressure because I can't don't have time management. I said that I wanted to inform myself more about and what should I do. What I got was «take vitamins I think that it worked with my headaches» said my mother (yes don't ask why is this related, it is what she told me) and they said that it was ok to live under pressure, and I was like «but I don't have to...» and got the classic «LIFE ISN'T EASY, YOU CAN'T LIVE RELAXED».
Should I go to the doctor, without them knowing, and see what medication they will recommend, I need dopamine desperately.
|
ADHD
|
I get night terrors, the kind that have me waking up shaking or screaming and needing to throw up. They’re bad. After a few months with my now boyfriend they got easier. Didn’t happen as often, weren’t as bad I guess. Don’t get me wrong they were still very much there, just on the back burner so to speak. Recently they have come back full force and I don’t know why or what’s happening, I thought I had finally made some progress but I just woke up violently and had to go puke my guts out immediately. I’m not 100% sure this is PTSD because I don’t talk to a lot of people about them except my boyfriend who needed to know when we moved in together. Most of the night terrors are about my ex’s who (most of) were extremely abusive and worse. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want to sleep. I’m desperate. But every therapist I’ve tried to talk to doesn’t understand. Im sorry if I’m wasting your time but I am just so tired and queasy and my head hurts and I just need someone who understands. Is this PTSD?
|
ptsd
|
Guys, I managed to level up my depression. Years back I was really sad (which I loved), then I started feeling nothing at all most of the time, and now I levelled up and get days when I am randomly suuuper angry. I just walk around for hours to no end and lash out at people accidentally and if something is not cooperating I want to smash it to pieces. And the funniest thing is that I realize how ridiculous this is and have no control over it, just sitting and threatening my bottle to try to fall down one more time xD No other emotions are present, just pure anger.
I wonder if that is some side effect of my brain deciding that hollow hurts too much and anger is safer.
​
Life: Congratulations on reaching LVL 400! Your difficulty will now increase.
Current Objective: Survive
|
depression
|
Does anyone get like weirdly excited when something crazy/bad happens either on the news or in your life because it’s now something you can use as a conversation starter?
For example, I witnessed a car accident on the way to a family party, thankfully no one was hurt. My immediate thoughts after were “oh wow now I can talk about this with my family!”
I always felt bad for thinking that way bc I obviously don’t want bad things to happen but it gives me something to talk about with others therefore making me feel less anxious socializing.
|
aspergers
|
I’ve noticed recently that I have discreet stims, ie: a stim I use when I don’t want people to know I’m stimming (and therefore autistic) usually when I’m at work where only a couple of people know about my autism
In my case it’s either fiddling with a ball point pen, twirling it through my fingers.
Or playing with a small ball of paper rolling it around my fingers, this one I use a lot as I can quickly drop it, or conceal it in my hand
Does anyone else have discreet stims?
|
aspergers
|
i’m not even sure why i feel like this but every time i see a hotline i’m just too scared to call it. i get embarrassed right as i’m about to call and then never do. how do i just stop being like that and call. i’ve literally missed all of my classes today because i’ve spent the whole day laying in bed
|
ptsd
|
That's what I've heard from my mother since yesterday, cause I had a bad crisis due to ob
sessive thoughts, she knows about my problems, it's just way too easy to ignore them, I said "I wish I could" ossessive thought and rituals are killing my brain, taking most of the energy I have and her response it's just "don't think about it" or "don't do it" and the worst "it's not their fault it's you" (referred to all the time I think my best friend or others are in danger cause my brain told me that) that's the worst cause I can't control my own mind, I wish I could, I want that so badly, not only for me but even because I don't want to be a burden to my friends but still I have this thoughts, every day and it's killing me... how in the world can someone be so lazy and uncaring to say "just don't have them?" Why she can't open a Wikipedia page or talk to me or talk to my psychiatrist I am in therapy from 19 yo and I am 23 she had a LOT of time!
|
OCD
|
I actually laughed out loud when this lady asked if I still had record of my diagnosis. I’m nearly 30, haven’t had meds for years because I didn’t have health insurance. It’s been a vicious cycle of trying to hold jobs, being unable to contain my frustrations and memory problems, and not having insurance. My problems with employment pretty much started when I aged out of my parents insurance and couldn’t get access to meds again. I’ve been struggling with depression as a result of years without any treatment. I’m at the end of my rope here. My parents aren’t responding to my questions about records of my diagnosis. My mom doesn’t believe adhd is the reason for my problems as an adult. It’s also extremely difficult for me to get help from a therapist or psychiatrist where I live because it’s very remote. I just don’t know what to do. Idk, I just need some support right now.
|
ADHD
|
I've seen a lot on here about time-blindness and about engrossing thoughts that take you away from The Task at Hand (tm), but what about those 2 symptoms together and especially severe in one's living space?
Like, I'm in college and I live in a pretty small apartment. Often, I want to go to the library to study, as one does in college. However, when I make an advance toward the folders and laptop I need to put in my backpack, I'm suddenly swept up in a train of thoughts that won't let me go (not usually distressing) and I don't feel in control and then it's suddenly 4:30 pm? It's scary when it happens because I often feel trapped in my apartment, like I can't leave. I become aware and then my mind wanders again. This also happens when I'm on meds too.
Any tips on how to manage this? It's not as bad in locations other than home. I might be describing a common ADHD experience but it's alarming to me every time it happens and I would like some more control over my days.
|
ADHD
|
i’m working on my math homework that’s due today. i started last minute like i always do. i just feel so pathetic and stupid :(((
|
depression
|
Hi everyone,
My collaborators and I surveyed r/OCD members back in June-July to learn about people's experiences living with OCD during the COVID-19 pandemic. Now the paper we wrote is published and available to read online here: [https://mental.jmir.org/2021/2/e26715](https://mental.jmir.org/2021/2/e26715). If you have any questions about the study, please feel free to ask me! I also want to extend my heartfelt gratitude to those of you who participated in the study, I really appreciate it.
Thanks,
Benji
|
OCD
|
My somatic therapist always tell me this. focus on good body sensation. she tell she's somatic experience expert.
is this true this things? she tell is the key to heal.
|
ptsd
|
So my S/O and I have talked about having kids and I've been on the fence my whole life. They want kids and tell me they want them more because of our relationship and specifically want to have kids with me. I was on-board at first because out of all the people I've dated this has been by far the healthiest relationship and they are probably the healthiest mentally of anyone I've dated and we agree so much on how we'd want to raise kids. So sounds like everything is good right?
Well no, we got a puppy and I have been kinda miserable ever since. The puppy is very reactive, barks and whines a lot. And I knew this going on but the demands on our time have been difficult for me to deal with. And cleaning up the accidents in the house are driving me crazy.
It's made me second guess whether I am equipped to handle having kids. The constant noise and unbounded energy of this dog just takes away so much of my energy. Add to that trying to keep vet and groomer appointments straight and remember to walk the dog and have plenty of play and training time with the puppy and its been tough. With executive functioning issues it already feels like I don't have enough time in the day for everything I had to do before hand. And this is just a puppy.
I felt overwhelmed with life before, the puppy makes me feel even more overwhelmed and I can't imagine adding a child on top.
My S/O only wants to continue the relationship if we agree to have children. I feel stuck and don't know how to make that decision. I understand the yearning of my S/O to have a child of their own but I don't know how I would stay sane with a kid. Maybe I'm underestimating myself. But I also want to make sure if I have a kid it's for the right reason because I truly want a child and not just to make my partner happy.
I've tried to explain some of my struggles to my S/O and how I am feeling and I don't know that they truly understand where I am coming from. They take my hesitancy to mean that it's something with them that it making me hesitant to have children when it's pretty much the opposite they are the only partner I've ever had where I would even begin to consider having kids with them.
Anyone who has kids or anyone who has considered and decided against who can chime in with how you made the choice for yourself, what are things that swayed you one way or the other?
|
ADHD
|
I have that weird, bored, annoyed, understimulated depressed feeling going on where I have a WANT for a VERY SPECIFIC type of stimuli that’s got the same VIBE of a familiar prior stimuli but not that stimuli. Like I want to watch Firefly, but also the exact opposite of it. Firefly not adjacent, but on the opposite corner. Like if Firefly were Ihop, I would want Applebee’s. And yet I also want to watch Repo, but play video games, but I also need to cook, but I don’t have enough stimulation to decide on what stimulation I want.
|
ADHD
|
I know this topic has been discussed before. There was a [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/pq5yrj/i_downloaded_18_productivity_apps_so_you_dont/) that listed 18 apps. However, I still lack the (perfect) app. I operate on Macbook and Android phone, emails through Outlook. I use Outlook calendar. I need a to-do app with an android app, Mac, or a web-based app for the MacBook and sync with Outlook calendar.
I'm using Microsoft to do, weirdly enough, it doesn't sync with their own Outlook calendar. Wunderlist used to sync with Outlook and Google calendars, they bought it, and made it worse !
It's frustrating that I'm looking for an app that is supposed to enhance my productivity, but I've been looking for such a thing for hours now, and I have a deadline tomorrow.
|
ADHD
|
Sometimes after dealing with my thoughts and feeling anxious, I get so angry at myself, others for not understanding, and just everything. Like a white, hot rage that I can feel in my bones. I think it’s the constant drone and endlessness of the OCD symptoms that makes me infuriated.
I try to have outlets like video games or walking etc.
Anybody else deal with this? I don’t want to carry rage and I am slowly learning to channel it into my passions like being open about OCD at the expense of my own self and/or career.
|
OCD
|
Hi!
I’ve been on a healing process in my PTSD journey. Recently, I’ve been finding that I mostly sleep through the night, rarely have nightmares, and only occasionally suffer flashbacks.
The unfortunate symptom that hasn’t improved is my resting heart rate. As a lifelong athlete, my resting heart rate before the related trauma was around 55 bpm. I’ve now found that my resting heart rate goes between 90 and 100 bpm. I assumed that it would slowly lower as the rest of my symptoms improve.
Does anyone have an experience on how PSTD has impacted their resting heart rate? Any suggestions?
Thank you!
|
ptsd
|
I don’t know who to blame other than to get help. My relative was mentally abusive when I was a child and sometimes would inappropriately touch me. And in 2019, she’s done the same thing in my adulthood.
A man I was interested in triggered my PTSD. And he had no remorse for what he did without knowing until it was too late. Word traveled back to me and he said some VERY hurtful things I’ve heard before from men and I was and still am in shock another man treated me like.
It’s like these 2 people linked together fucked me up. It was a string of events and a string of people? My string broke but I function differently so it’s together still on a different way.
A relationship is all I’ve ever wanted. I want to have love.
Please tell me what you think. Why did what happened between the two trigger events in my head to reloop ?its safe to say mentally something is wrong and what I see shows me something is wrong with my life. Are they both to blame?
A visual flashback? Is this what it is?
|
ptsd
|
When triggered how long do you usually stay in a "triggered state" e.g. on edge, scared, flashbacks, feeling like you are in fight or flight mode and everything is heightened. And can you be in this place for months or maybe even years before you begin to feel settled again
|
ptsd
|
The short version: in all likelihood I'm about to go directly back to my Paxil and, under my psych's supervision, go up to the "therapeutic dose" of it, which I think I've tried once in the past and things were too wacked at that point in time for it to have had any effect anyway.
I've often heard that antidepressants have different dosage amounts recommended depending on what the pill is treating for.
My Paxil doesn't really seem to *help* much, just kinda keeps my head above water if nothing else, and when bad shit kept piling up in my personal life starting in 2018, it felt less and less effective. But, again, I was on maybe 20mg at the time.
I dunno. Before 2018, I was able to go driving and even do my own grocery orders by myself. I want to be that person again.
...not *completely,* I've made other important personal strides since then, but. you know what I mean.
|
OCD
|
I'm tired of this meaningless life.
I'm tired of trying to be happy. I just can't.
Life is a continuous illusion, you work, you live, you have a girlfriend, you have friends.
But what do you really want?
I just want to end this pain, to end the fact that I'm the only one who can't accept this illusion.
Fuck me.
|
depression
|
I disassociate for months on end sometimes and when I finally come out of it, I have an identity/existential crisis. What the hell did I do for all those months? What did I say? What did I think? It's so scary when I stop disassociating, I really don't know who I am anymore.
I'm so confused.
What is disassociating like for you?
For me it's like I'm in a never ending dream-like state, out of touch with my emotions, my thoughts, my memories **AND IT GOES ON FOR MONTHS, I WISH I WAS FUCKING LYING**. It's like I don't have access to myself anymore, like I'm a stranger in my own body. I hate it. No wonder why the >!suicide!< rates are fucking high for people with PTSD, I can't stand this shit anymore. I can't remember anything because of PTSD (repressed memories).
I hate disassociating. I hate that I don't even know what triggers it.
I hate that no one understands and tells me I'm not trying hard enough. How can I try when I feel like I'm not in my own body?
Edit: correcting word
|
ptsd
|
I'm very new to reddit and all so forgive me in advance.
I'm finding it hard to learn and I am unsure why or if this is part of my ADHD.
I'm 26 now and I've found myself lacking in ways that I never would have been previously. I haven't been on my prescribed Adderall for the good part of 6 years due to how it made me feel (always 24/7 depressed and I tried plenty other ADHD prescribed meds as well). I graduated College not too long ago and during that time it was not completely easy to organize my thoughts, get things completed, focus and be attentive, etc. etc. I somewhat learned to manage my ADHD to a degree where I can get things done and not be completely elsewhere. Right now my brain is a bit all over the place.
Currently I'm finding that my focus is depleting, concentration out the window, lack of completion of projects until my boss is on my ass or about to be on my ass. I'm bored at work although my work is somewhat interesting and fun. I find myself wandering in my thoughts often. When I try to learn something new I feel as if my brain rather attempt to memorize what exactly it is I'm trying to learn instead of actually learning and understanding what it is I am attempting to learn. This could be as easy as electric turbo's for cars. I have been told how it works and can understand to a point but I find myself regurgitating the information as it was said to me instead of understanding the way it works.
Anyone got any thoughts on this. Apologies in advance its a bit all over the place.
|
ADHD
|
So, I’ve always had the habit of focusing too hard on something I find stimulating (normally hobbies) and end up neglecting everything around me because of it (peeing, food, sleeping, showering), and sometimes this hobby continues for around two weeks sometimes lasting months. This hobby also normally becomes the only thing I can think about or even talk about. Anyway, is this the obsessive compulsive part of OCD or just something else?
|
OCD
|
I dont know what to start with, but a couple of months ago my friend didnt invite me to her birthday party (she is also my girlfriends best friend). I didnt really think much of it untill my girlfriend and i had to fix something in the relationship after she distanced herself from me and hurt me. When we talked to fix things she told med the reason I wasn't invited was because my friend was afraid I would become to much and annoying after getting intoxicated.
This hit me hard as I cant think of anything else that even my close friends dont invite me because they think I'am to much and afraid of me becoming to drunk and make a bad mood.
I dont know what i want here, but does anyone here been in a samiliar scenario and what can i do to feel better/fix it?
|
aspergers
|
I've been going to the dispensary again and smoking before bed. I quit smoking a few months ago because it made me worse but it seems to be helping for now. I'm coming out of an intense ocd episode that lasted for about 5 months and I'm feeling a lot better. I'm also on anfranil 50mg. I havent asked for reassurance from my mom in almost 2 days. I'm still reassuring myself and ruminating but it's getting better. Of course not giving medical advice, just had to put a little glimmer of hope in the feed. My intrusive thoughts are still there but I'm finding them annoying more than anything lately.
|
OCD
|
[deleted]
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/otkmkm)
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OCD
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Growing up/overall I always fixated over the need to be loved by someone. To be in a relationship, for someone to care about me, etc. I am constantly feeling lonely. I am 25f and have never been in a “real” relationship so this probably has to do with it too.the smallest things trigger me, like even seeing happy couples out to dinner, on a date etc and I feel like a terrible person for me not being happy for them. These are the thoughts that go in my head every day and it’s been getting really bad lately. I am just so damn depressed and tired of these intrusive thoughts.
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OCD
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Can anyone recommend a good anti depressant aside from lexapro which worked wonders at first but stopped working. And Paxil which also worked but made me feel completely numbed out.
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depression
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Recently I've realized that I have a problem-- I'm afraid to ask my sexual partners to use protection for fear of angering or disappointing them, even if it means putting myself at risk for pregnancy or std's. I think this is due in part to my sexual trauma and the details of my assault. I want to do better and protect myself and my body but I don't know how. Does anyone else struggle with setting boundaries in a sexual situation?
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ptsd
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It seems like the literature out there is dominated by the same examples over and over again - thoughts about DOING something - self harm, harm towards others, screaming in church etc... What about "witness" type thoughts where you're just seeing horrible violent images but aren't the perpetrator? Can this be OCD as well?
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OCD
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I want to know what could happen to me... And getting some hope and inspiration.
Thanks for your time if you answer, nice friend. ❤️
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OCD
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I know this topic has been discussed ad nauseam, but I was filling out my registration for student disability services today. When it asked me to describe my condition, I felt weird about using the word "trigger", as though I wouldn't be taken seriously if I used it, because now triggered is colloquially used to just mean upset. It sucks that I feel like I can’t use the limited vocabulary I have to articulate what's going on with me, when putting it into words is already so difficult.
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ptsd
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Hi all. I was diagnosed with multiple anxiety disorders including OCD when I was 13 (I’m almost 17 now). One thing that I constantly feel is the need to be balanced. I always have to start something with my left side and end on my right (opening/closing cupboards, walking, if I do something to my left I have to do it to my right, etc), otherwise it causes physical discomfort. I don’t see this as a compulsion because I don’t have the anxieties (something bad will happen if I don’t do x) that I do with my other compulsions, but I also don’t know what else this could be related to. It’s like having a 2 meters in my brain, one for my left and one for my right side, and they have to be aligned at all times. If not, I feel pain on one side of my body, physically unbalanced, and mentally and physically uncomfortable until I ‘correct’ it. Does anyone have this and know what it is?
It’s probably also worth mentioning that I have ADHD and may be getting an autism assessment.
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OCD
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~ pls do not read if u are triggered by mentions of fictional abuse ( not very detailed ) ~
i promise i try to be a good person but i feel really guilty about this （◞‸◟）.. im turning sixteen in some months but ever since i was thirteen or fourteen i have looked extremely inappropriate drawings of underaged characters ( much younger than me ). i felt no romantic or sexual feelings towards them, more like at the situation because of the size ? i dont even like that way of drawing or writing, only in studio ghibli or sailor moon, so maybe its because it had so much detail ( all types of those smut drawings ). its like i was making myself feel disgusted and suffer or purpose ? but at the same time im not sure at all .. i didnt even enjoy looking at that, because i only like reading or looking at things with much older characters who are also older than me ( or at least i imagine them in that way ). im actually quite frightened of children because they do so many icky things ; even if they are sweet and cute i dont want to be close to them ( i mean this in the most innocent way as possible ). i have just never wanted any children / wanted to be near them too much in these years, and i think it will most probably stay that way. i was diagnosed with ocd ( i think severe ? ) when i was like nine or ten, but i think that i have developed pocd as well ? i know that im not supposed to seek reassurance but im too afraid since this are different circumstances to other pocd stories i have read, and im to afraid to tell my mum or my therapist. thank u for reading this, i really appreciate it (´,,•ω•,,)♡
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OCD
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Anybody else have a combination of these disorders?
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OCD
|
Hello,
I (21F) have all my life experienced symptoms of dissociation. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD by a specialist, and I associate with all symptoms. However I do have some experiences that I don't know whether are or aren't also ADHD related, so I wanted to ask on here.
(not asking for medical advice i just want to know if anyone shares this experience too)
Do any of you experience dissociation/derealisation/depersonalisation? Or like you're hyper aware that you're seeing through your own eyes/POV/it's almost like you're hyper present and aware whilst also being disconnected? like you're so aware of your existence it's almost like nothing is real.
Also, so I've mentioned it, i have experienced psychological trauma and I have anxiety too.
TL;DR: I was diagnosed with ADHD but I also experience dissociation-like symptoms. I want to know if anyone else relates.
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ADHD
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This monster I've been dealing with since about age 12 is starting to get really really old at this point. I'm 28 now, and it hasn't been from lack of trying that I'm still wrestling with my own mind trying to kill me. I exercise, meditate, eat regularly and healthily, sleep a normal number of hours, and have even been to therapy. There was also a point in my life where I was able to deal with a stressful reality crushing my spirit through psychedelic use, but the utility they've had for me has run out, and they were starting to exacerbate my mental issues, so I haven't used them for years.
Regardless of all this, I feel like I'm just stuck with depression forever, to the point where I'll be honest, being depressed feels like my normal state, and the fleeting moments of happiness an increasingly rarer gift. Buddhism and Daoism are basically the only spiritual guidance/philosophies that have really helped me hang on, since they accept the premise that life is suffering, and that there is some sort of transcendent "duty" we perform in our lifetimes, but it's hard for me to not be resentful of my existence.
Whoever says it gets better is a fucking liar, but whoever says it makes a little bit more sense day by day gets it. By "makes sense" I mean that you're aware of the depression, but you still have to deal with the emotional burdens even if it "makes sense". Well, I'm tired of dealing with it, and I don't want MAOIs, SSRIs or whatever to cope. The world is awful and stripped of wonder, and I'm tired of pretending its not. And any time people do ask for even a pitiful improvement in their lives, they get beaten down and left to rot.
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depression
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I have several going right now, trying to multitask because I want to do All The Things, but I feel like I’m not getting anything done!
I write fan fiction as a creative outlet and I’m into locksport as my puzzle/fidget hobby, and I like to watch TV while doing the lock picking but not while writing fic (too easily distracted).
I’ve been really into two TV shows so bouncing back and forth there.
I’ve barely done any lock work today and zero fan fiction and my husband wants to watch show one instead of show two which pulls my focus more and even makes it hard to pick.
I’m feeling pulled in so many directions. I want to sit down and focus on one thing all day, and my husband is always balancing his hobbies like this. It’s stressful!
How do they do it??
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ADHD
|
A random thing my OCD makes me do that I’m curious if anyone else does, I am female btw:
When I go pee I have to keep wiping and using new tissue until I believe it’s completely dry (or else I’ll be thinking of it all day, not being able to think of anything else and probably wanting to change underwear, even clothes, even though I know I’m dry after my first or second wipe) ending up in me using a lot of tissue paper and getting into trouble for wasting toilet roll since I was young. Anyone else experienced this?
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OCD
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tocd is gone(or so at least i think) but now I feel very depressed and always cry myself to sleep and when I wake up, I miss my long distance relationship boyfriend so much and I just can't feel like myself and be happy anymore.This has been going for 2 weeks I can't stand it anymore. What could it be? A depression caused by ocd or what?
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OCD
|
I am in my late twenty's and I feel confident saying that I might be on the spectrum. I want to be sure but my country (Canada) does not cover any form of testing unless I am on disability which even then has a 2 year wait. The only choice I have to get diagnosed eventually would be to come up with a couple thousand extra dollars which isnt going to happen currently unless I sell a ton of my thing's (which I am considering).
I did the AQ test and was high risk at a 36.
I did the more accurate ritvo test and had a total score of 183.
I answered everything honestly because I don't really understand how to not be honest.
It's frustrating because something has been wrong with me for this long and it's possible that THIS is the actual thing. I am on multiple medications for OCD and Bipolar, but I never really felt like I had bipolar or OCD though I admit that the anxiety medication has improved my meltdowns.
I just feel like when I think about all of these incidents in my life. This may have been the reason and I just want to be able to understand myself so I can come up with better strategy's or routines to deal with my issues. I have a family and I just feel like an unusual husband and father, especially socially and I want to know why so badly.
That's my rant. Thank you for reading./
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aspergers
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My OCD makes me hyperfocus on tiny details and imperfections on material objects (e.g. action figures, collectibles, etc). I don't know what the right term for that kind of OCD is but it's painful. It's gotten to the point where I have to keep replacing the stuff that gets messed up. My parents say a breakthrough is possible but I don't feel like it is. I just don't know what to do at this point. I feel so alone and stuck
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OCD
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For my whole life, I've struggled with health anxiety. That usually manifests in the form of hyperawareness, hypervigilance, and rituals. Recently, it's been bad. One example: I am currently obsessed with my period. Even though I'm on birth control, if it doesn't come exactly on the day it's supposed to, or comes too early, I get obsessed with it. I always think there's something medically wrong despite a clean bill of health and imaging tests. It started when I switched to a generic BC pill which seems to not control my bleeding as well. You would think after 2 years of this that I'd be used to it, but I'm not. I'm always panicking, obsessively checking if I'm bleeding, googling... I don't know if I'm explaining this well or not.
Sometimes it's other conditions I'm worried about, too... checking my skin for bruises in case I have leukemia, testing my vision in case I have a brain disorder, checking my moles for changes in case I have skin cancer... In the past 5 months alone, I've diagnosed myself with ovarian cancer, MS, breast cancer, lymphoma, leukemia, lupus, colon cancer, stomach cancer... I can't get past it. I've gone to several doctors, 3 rounds of blood work, scans, tests, dozens of appointments. When one worry resolves another begins. I am bizarrely aware of every single bodily sensation, all the time. It wasn't always this severe.
It wasn't until I spoke to a therapist recently that I had any idea it could be related to OCD. Something about "somatic hyperawareness". Does anyone else struggle with this? I haven't found a fitting therapist yet but I'm at my wits end...
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OCD
|
Today was shit. The day started out nice, I had so much fun during the day until I heard that someone of my friendgroup (who is sick at home rn) was talking shit about me. In march, my whole family got corona and my dad was in the hospital for over a month in intensive care. He was in a coma for 9 fucking days. That ‘friend’ who was talking shit, said she didn’t believe I had corona. Like, do you think my dad liked going into a coma? Do you think I like to fear for my dads life? Do you think I would actually lie about something so sensitive? She said she didn’t believe me because I wasn’t tested. My country didn’t have enough tests at the time so that’s why only the people in the hospitals were getting tested butI clearly had symptoms of corona. I didn’t like her before all this but now, it’s even worse. Ever since I went through my trauma, I have this built up anger inside of me. I’m not a violent person at all but if she was at school, I might’ve hit her right then and there. I wanna scream at her so badly and cry at the same time. I don’t know what to do when she comes back to school. I want to confront her but I think that would make it worse. Luckily, I have my therapist appointment tomorrow. Hopefully she doesn’t come to school tomorrow, for her own good lol. What a fucking bleep. I really have lost all hopes for this schoolyear.
TL;DR: fuck my friends.
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ptsd
|
This post was made due to the banning of r/NoNewNormal (a subreddit that was known to spread misinformation regarding COVID-19 and vaccines for it) earlier today, you can see the admin's response to the ban [here](https://old.reddit.com/r/announcements/comments/pg006s/covid_denialism_and_policy_clarifications/).
Reddit currently is lots of subreddits for promoting misinformation and hate speech. I feel that this is a mistake because those in positions of authority can declare anything they disagree with to be misinformation or hate speech. I like to say that it is misinformation and hate speech today, anything that goes against the official government/media narrative tomorrow.
What does any of this have to do with being on the spectrum? As someone whose self-expression can be seen as weird or unorthodox I fear that people in positions of authority will increasingly silence my voice along with that of other people on the spectrum for not conforming to their societal rules and norms and I think this may happen sooner than most of us think.
Thoughts?
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aspergers
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I'm wondering if this is Asperger's related. I can't stand looking at needles or needle like objects. Cactus specifically but even tree branches, and Joshua trees make driving very uncomfortable.
Is this common or just me because of my anxiety?
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aspergers
|
Hi there,
I suspect I might have ADHD, but I have other things going on with my mental health so I'm not sure. I completely understand that I might not have it but I'd like to know. My doctor wants to focus on my other issues at the moment and had me take the one page ADHD checklist which said I had some indicators but it was not technically positive.
He suggests that I discuss my specific concerns with a therapist first and go from there before getting the full work up. I do not currently have a therapist so my question is whether there's a particular type of therapist I should look for or whether anyone has pushed through and gone straight for the full testing.
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Additional Details
I am 34, male, and have depression, anxiety, and frequent fatigue. This year thing became worse so I'm testing out both Lexapro and a CPAP machine.
I had a previous experience taking the one page quiz that suggested I might have Inattentive Type, this was a number of years ago but we were focused on depression/anxiety and didn't follow up.
I have a number of personality quirks / issues / experiences / etc that led me to considering ADHD as a possibility. A particularly challenging/obtrusive issue for me that I want to talk to someone about is analysis paralysis, though that might just be an anxiety thing.
Any advice welcome. Thanks in advance for the help!
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ADHD
|
I started taking 10mg of Ritalin 2 times a day, 3 days for TDHA. however, I realized that I no longer feel sexual desire and when I tried to masturbate it was very difficult to get an erection, I came to enjoy with a soft penis. this made me very scared, as I had already taken antidepressants 2 years ago and it caused me a series of sexual dysfunctions and ruined many relationships. I had several symptoms of PSSD and to this day I have not fully recovered as I developed sexual performance anxiety. I'm afraid that Ritalin can bring these problems again. so I would like to know from those of you who have had experience with Ritalin if there is any way to deal with this low libido and erection problems. I thought about asking the doctor to use Ritalin in conjunction with Wellbutrin to try to circumvent the effects on sexuality, do you think it works? on the day I don't use Ritalin, do these sexual problems disappear or do they last for a while even without medication?
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ADHD
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