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I just had a somewhat new relationship end because I completely forgot an important conversation I had with the person I was dating. I did exactly what we agreed neither of us would do. I normally keep notes with details about the person I’m seeing, because I don’t want to forget important things about them. This is the first time I’ve ever had a memory problem affect a relationship before. Everyone I ask in Facebook groups says if I actually cared about them, I would have remembered, but I do care about them…
I guess I’m asking, have any of you ever had a memory lapse affect a relationship? I relate to many ADHD memes, but I don’t fit the diagnostic criteria according to my therapist, but the majority of my friends say they’re pretty sure I have ADHD. I’m concerned this could turn into a problem going forward. | ADHD |
A few months ago when picking groups we were doing interviews and I was rated dead last for people who wanted to work with me. I mean, I think I really undersold myself because I was worried that if I said I was good at xx, in my opinion, that whoever I was working with would be better at that than me so I would be lying and then they would be upset or angry with me. I was rated last for people who wanted to work with me and it really hurt and I keep reliving the interviews but I'm trying to calm myself by telling myself I didn't talk about my good qualities and overstated my bad qualities, and I'm really trying to work hard and prove to my group, and everyone else that they made a mistake. Trying to change their mind about me I guess.
We had a group paper on Tesla and my group was... all over the place. One guy said Nikola Tesla invented the electric car in the 1880s and I told him to go back and fix it, someone else said that Tesla didn't have any weaknesses so I had to go back and fix it. I felt very bossy, especially because I'm kind of direct and I'm not even the group leader, I felt like he should have been keeping up on this stuff.
I did the whole PowerPoint by myself, I don't really have a problem with that because I like making PowerPoints and doing the pictures, and looking at and choosing the design options.
For the presentation, the other 2 groups that presented were very brief and had 4 slides with bullet points, pixelated pictures just thrown on there at the bottom, just putting what questions they were answering.
For the presentation, I took our points and made different slides extenuating each point with data supporting our claims. It was more paragraph form, with the issue that we were talking about as the "title" of the slide. I used the design options so our pictures would be neatly on the sides, or around our text box.
I'm very proud of it, I still am, but I worry compared to others that that's the format we should have followed. I didn't put the question numbers, but rather the issue that each question was talking about. My teammates said it was good and more informative than the others, but I worry that they, along with my other classmates, think I was trying too hard, that I did too much, that I was too bossy or controlling. I feel like an outcast, and that people think I'm weird for putting so much effort into it. I also feel like somehow I misunderstood the assignment and fucked myself and my groupmates over for doing way too much and having too much information because our presentation wasn't like everyone else's.
We haven't received a grade yet, but when the other groups were presenting the professor was taking notes on the board but he wasn't for us, I guess because we didn't have "points" or the question numbers.
I just can't stop obsessing and thinking about this, it just happened a few days ago and I really need something to help me calm down. My obsessions are even worse since I was voted last for people who wanted to work with me. I know for most people this wouldn't even blink about this but it's very, very real to me.
What do you guys think? Do you think my teammates are saying that I did a good job for the Powerpoint just so they don't upset me or they feel bad for me? If I was your teammate what would you think? I try to keep my urge to look for reassurance contained with people I don't know, especially people who don't even want to work with me. | OCD |
Hi was diagnosed about a month ago and this is the first day of medication (I have inattentive) They started me on 10mg of Adderall twice a day. Initially I was thinking it wasn't working, but now that it's the afternoon I've noticed I'm even more distracted than before without my meds. The only difference is that there's less of a brain fog.
Is this a side effect? Is this even possible?
It's hilarious if in fact I'm able to focus more without it. | ADHD |
I am a young mom with one daughter (3) and have gained weight after being on birth control for 2 years and generally just gaining weight. Before I had my daughter I was 135 (I am 5’7). And last I ever checked my weight I was almost 200 pounds.
I am having difficulty staying motivated, because what usually happens is I get in a good workout session and then I just stop for a long while and then motivation starts again and then once again lost. The cycle repeats, over and over and I am tired of it.
I really suck with routine, keeping notes on my phone, setting alarms, keeping a journal etc. I just can’t, and it’s frustrating. | ADHD |
My parents/brother used to full on kick my door open, (even if they weren't mad) which would always make a loud boom noise and scare the shit out of me to wake me up or tell me something.
Now whenever I hear my door open, even if someone calmly opens it it makes me jump and then I just sort of have a mini panic attack when they're gone and have to try and feel normal and get back to what I was doing.
Now just hearing a door close it just feels like it's hard to breath.
Anybody else have little things like that? | ptsd |
Hi y’all, I’ve been struggling with a really bad episode of ocd, mostly intrusive thoughts surrounding my gender identity and sexuality. It’s like my whole life I knew who I was and these thoughts came and made me doubt every single part of me. I feel like I have lost my sense of self. Like I’m not the person I was before this, and I just wanna be that person again so bad. Does anyone have any advice? | OCD |
It does not matter what it is, I am always late. If I do somehow make it on time it's usually right on the dot and I most likely was rushing/worried I wouldn't make it on time.
I arrive to work 5-10 mins late, hanging out with friends, getting ready for events, etc. I am so slow at getting ready. There's no dull moment when it comes to "will I arrive on time today". My friends all joke that they expect me to show up late no matter the occasion. I want to change this bad habit of mine!
What strategies have you used to go from being late always to on time/early (The kind of on time and early where you aren't stressing if you'll make it on time)? | ADHD |
I dont have dementia but my does. I watch her and remind her where she is. However when i am triggered by a many things i leave my body for a bit and come back. Like I'll have a memory of my fathers sexual abuse then suddenly im in another room, or outside sitting down. I ask people where I am.
Im 28 years old and it happens alot. The main thing is ive gained incredible empathy for people with dementia or alzheimers. I know how it feels and quite frabkly its terrifying. Literally imagine yourself talking to someone the flash, your washing your hands in the bathroom.no memory in between. And imagine this happening all the time
I say this because if any of you suffer from frequent dissociation, you mind find some solace in befriending someone with dementia. Its helped me since no on else understand how scary it is.
Its like playing a video game and then suddenly you are at the end and won. You didnt get to haave the journey. You miss the best stuff. | ptsd |
Does anyone else ever get when you’re just chilling and there’s not even a specific thing that your OCD is bugging you about, but for some reason you can just feel it there nagging you. Like idk what it is right now but I can just feel something bothering me and I just feel “OCD” if that makes any sense lol | OCD |
Hi, I'm kinda new to this and sorry if my english is bad, it's my second language.
Ok so for a long time I have been struggling with keeping focus on things, tend to be really forgetful, not able to sit still or properly, which I heard where symptoms of adhd. I have never got diagnosed because I don't know who I should see to get a diagnosis and my parents definitely don't care enough to help me on that. (but if someone know what kind of doctor you got to see in France for adhd I kinda want to know because the internet is really unclear about that).
I chose to post here and ask for your help to know if there are non medical ways (because obviously I can't get medications without a diagnosis) to maybe help with focussing, especially for working, because I just can't manage to keep my attention on things more that 5 minutes anymore.
Hope you'll be able to help and thanks for the responses I may be getting. | ADHD |
Hi! I’m new to Reddit but I already like it so much!
I am currently trying an ADHD medication and in the process of getting an official ADHD/ADD diagnosis, waiting for specialist appointment. I have previously been diagnosed with both depression and anxiety, and So far, from what I’ve been researching, I might have ADD/ADHD, inattentive type. But again still waiting on the actually diagnosis..
** Not asking for medical advice - just suggestions as to what to discuss/look into with my Psych/treatment and what others have experienced with this**
I got assessed by my PCP by taking a short ADHD test which I scored high on and researching why I was struggling in my job/home/life to focus and remember things, not finishing things getting easily confused, along with other symptoms.. PCP suggested I see a Psychiatrist.
Went to psychiatrist who’s not covered by my insurance but has treated me before (expensive but he/his practice has helped me in the past) he’s now referred me to a Neuropsychologist I believe. Waiting for them to get back to me.
Also gonna try to change insurances to one that actually covers all that… 🤞
Psych prescribed generic Adderall 25mg XR - been on it for 4 days
Unfortunately I’m having some pretty bad side effects from the medication and after doing some research it has MAJOR Do Not Prescribe warnings with another med I’m taking -Duloxetine DR 60mg- due to them both causing Seratonin Syndrome which I feel is what’s happening
(major exhaustion, bad stomach pain, diarrhea headache eyes dry, increased heart rate increased irritability to everything, feeling like shit!!).
I’m also taking generic Wellbutrin XL 150mg and Sulfasalazine 500mg for arthritis, and more recently Atenolol 25mg (diagnosed with HBP due to high pulse rate).
And I’ve lost 2 jobs in the past year from mistakes and inattention issues, one was recently so I’m sure my depression isn’t helping anything. 😔
*sigh*
Thoughts? Suggestions? Any help would be appreciated thank you!
(Btw this Reddit has already taught me so much!!) | ADHD |
Sorry that its gonna be a long one, kinda wanted to give some background info as well.
I don't know where to start, it's a long story. Its the story of my life. I was always problematic as a kid. Not that I wanted to but because everyone turned their back on me. My friend choices were not that good, I didn't have a father figure to rely on and whatever. Since primary school, or probably earlier i am being bullied. Im 20 years old now and it never stopped. First it was my weight, then it turned to parental issues. I never bothered my parents divorcing although it affected me, but i always acknowledged that they did the right thing if they couldn't get along.
Anyways. In middle school people stayed away from me because they thought i have psychological issues and gone mad because of my parents. Idk, now i can laugh at their mentality but at that time seeing all those eyes on you thinking you are crazy and stuff it affects you. In middle school when everyone was starting to discover other sexes and everything i found myself slowly getting addicted to porn. Its still an ongoing problem to be honest. I could never express myself sexually. Did a lot of stuff i regret now. Spying on girls and everything. It was all wrong but it felt the only way i could get close to sexuality. I couldn't express my feelings to anyone. There was only one girl i met online. She became my everything, we were best friends.
I could tell her everything and she was telling me everything, although she had a boyfriend we talked for hours and hours nonstop. She wasn't happy, at some point he told me i was better than him. Then fast forward to when they broke up, i decided to try my chance and we were never officially dating but it slowly became a toxic relationship. We chained ourselves to each other, only 2 of us knew our phone numbers and stuff. Toxic jealousy and everything. Strangely i was just 14 when we first met. She was 18. When i became 16 and she became 20 we "broke up", or completely lost touch. I had a hard time recovering cause she was the only person i could ever trust in this world. Even if she ruined me. Anyways. It took years for me get over her and search for a new partner.
There was a georgian girl in my class. i was always curious of her. So i decided to talk to her. But i have a terrible social anxiety and chronic depression going on for years now. Again fast forwarding, she started telling me about herself and everything. How she got raped by her ex and how that forced her to leave Georgia to come to Cyprus ( i live in cyprus ). And idk. I was so scared to touch her all the time. She got scars on her body, but i loved them. I kissed them. I was rediscovering passion and everything. But yeah my anxiety was so terrible that i was mostly distant. I couldn't express myself so she decided to break up. One day she messaged me saying she missed me, she wanna have like a breakup sex. And to be fair sex part wasn't what drove me, it was the possibilities and a chance to get to know her body again. And shit. When i went to her house she said shes seeing someone else and that fucking destroyed me. We talked through it i had to accept it cause nevertheless if that was gonna make her happy i was fine with it. Anyways we started foreplay and stuff but then she changed her mind suddenly, i didnt know what to do. said "you are nothing different than him" referring to her ex and it completely killed me.
I got labeled as a rapist by the only person i care about, the person who showed me that i can love again. She wasn't just a date. She was my everything. And god damn..
Years passed by, my scars got deeper. After her i never had a partner. Fear of abandonment, anxiety, depression and this new PTSD experience. It completely ruined me. And after all those years she messaged me to say shes sorry, i immediately forgave her cause i could understand her point of view. She has been through a lot. She has suffered a lot and I don't know. Now she's telling me she became a junkie, she got abused for all these years and it hurts to see her like that more than anything she did to me. Thinking about all these is killing me. I am a suicidal person, whenever i have a breakdown i find myself writing letters and trying to find new ways to hurt myself or end it all painlessly. After all, i became what people have feared the most. I became that insane crazy person.
But i mean well. I cant stay mad at anyone anymore. I have a lot going on, i cant put any energy to hate on anyone. I wanna help her i wanna save her but she said she loves someone else. After all those years what was i expecting anyways? Nothing stayed the same. Everything has changed. I couldn't. I got stuck. I got stuck with my. Fears and issues and everything. Still i have a terrible social anxiety that prevents me from seeing her. And im not comfortable about my sexuality. For years I've labeled myself as asexual so i dont have to explain anyone anything. Eh. I don't know. Just felt like sharing it all. I don't know what to expect anymore. Hope you all have a nice day | ptsd |
hey everyone! i am new to this thread/reddit. i was diagnosed with ptsd in february but my trauma happened over a year ago and i have had ptsd symptoms since then. i am a college student and a math major. i had never made below a B on a math exam pre-trauma. i love taking tests, i.e. i don't have test anxiety. ever since experiencing trauma i have been unable to make above a 75 on any of my math exams despite understanding the material. i have gone to countless office hours and had tutors - all of them have essentially said to me that they do not understand why i am doing so poorly on exams given that i do really well on homework and have a clear understanding of the material. i do dissociate sometimes during exams but that has been more recently. i think some of my intuition is gone due to trauma. i have a hard time putting problems into context and often make problems too hard for myself. this was never a problem for me before trauma. i'm obviously not sure whether this is trauma related but i just feel like something is off. it doesn't make sense to me why nothing i do changes this. i have taken all of my profs' advice regarding the situation and nothing has improved my performance. i understand that this isn't a huge deal, i.e. grades don't really matter that much, i'm still doing ok in school. but honestly it kills me that i am now stuck between taking classes knowing i could be doing better in them in different circumstances or switching majors. i hate how much power this still has over me.
oh i also met with the accessibility office at my school and while they were really helpful with some other trauma-related academic issues, i feel like everyone who i have talked to has basically said "oh well math classes get harder". i know that they could be right about the classes just being more challenging - but i just really feel like something is wrong. and it feels shitty for them to tell me that i'm wrong about my own experience.
i know that lots of things in my brain have changed because of ptsd and i just need to understand why this is happening and how to fix it. any advice/explanation/etc. is appreciated | ptsd |
Never really thought about it in this way, but, started thinking out loud and came to a revelation that: my brain wants to attack myself, and, it's up to the same brain to attack my brain, to save myself.
I don't think it's a matter of a weak mind, but rather a mind that is so strong and clever, it oftentimes uses a false sense of security, while knowing when and how to apply various forms of self harm.
Not trying to be 14anddeep, but, was sort of self counseling, while thinking about past experiences. | depression |
Hi. I couldn’t post to r/adderall for some reason, so I hope this is ok to post here. For context, I am (20F) and had a conversation with my psychiatrist in June 2021 about possibly having ADHD, as I have had a lot of trouble focusing in the past. My psychiatrist decided to prescribe me 10MG XR adderall to take once a day, as I was enrolled in summer semester classes. It worked fairly well initially, I could focus better than I ever could in the past, and I took little to no breaks from the adderall, taking it mostly every day. I was diagnosed with a severe anxiety disorder around 2016, and around August 2021 (lasting until now), I began to notice severe pain that came along with heart palpitations; my heart would race the majority of the day, and I noticed my anxiety I experience in day to day life felt more extreme than it had in many years. I spoke to my psychiatrist about my concerns, but she mostly shrugged them off as side effects of this medication.
Has anyone been in a situation along the lines of this before? I am afraid that my psychiatrist too readily prescribed me adderall, and am not sure if I truly have ADHD, on account of the symptoms I’ve been experiencing. Would appreciate any insight.
Thanks in advance | ADHD |
Having complex ptsd makes it very difficult for me to have a relationship, to be intimate, to trust people. I get defensive and put up walls. I wear a facade. I have been in therapy for about a year and a half but it is still hard. I know I’ll never be normal and that’s ok. Or at least that’s what o keep telling myself | ptsd |
so im 17, just got back from the psych ward, just got diagnosed with ocd. im taking zoloft and abilify to treat my intrusive thoughts. its worked pretty well actually. ive realized im not attracted to anything weird (family, children, animals), but the obsession and groinal response is still there. i dont have my old attractions back either. i just want my old happy thoughts again, not these dark disturbing ones. can somebody tell me how to get rid of this? i hate these thoughts with a burning passion. i just want them gone and out of my life so i can be happy again (i really want my attractions back too). | OCD |
I (26M) was diagnosed with aspergers about 2 months ago. It's a little late for me to get help during childhood, and i kinda feel stuck where im at. Among other issues, I am 100% convinced I'm going to die alone. I've had a few ok relationships in the past, but I could never relate to a partner enough and ended up mistreating them. Now that i know I have HFA the dating problems make a lot more sense. I have trouble talking to strangers, making eye contact, texting, and most of the skills that are generally useful for starting a relationship.
Does anyone else share the fear that you'll never find your "second half"? How do you deal with it?
Has anyone successfully achieved a long term relationship despite Aspergers? Do you have any advice? | aspergers |
Wonder if Social Media has ever made your ADHD issues worse?
Personally, I noticed I'd develop some peace of mind each time I'd deactivate/delete my Insta/FB. I'd also feel like I'd be able to focus better.
Unfortunately, at this point in life, it's become really difficult to stay off these apps. Because I rely on them for networking and basic communicating. I've been considering setting some fixed time in the day to check my notification but I'm not sure I have that much discipline. | ADHD |
Your just lazy. Lazy to do anything. And emotionally weak. Barely any motivation some days. After work/before work. Can't do household chores? Your lazy. Can't do a simple task that others can? Your lazy. Can't figure out how to get your life in order? Your so lazy. Need a timer to time yourself? Very lazy. Seems like the stuff that normal, mentally healthy can do is considered lazy if you can't do it. | ADHD |
ok so every time i go to shower, i start cleaning my body, but then let’s say my face touches the water then it runs down my neck. then my mind immediately goes “ok wash your neck again your face was infected” and i literally have mental breakdowns in the shower. anyone relate or no? | OCD |
I have no social anxiety and make friends but I have to keep drinking so I’m not shy as fuck. I don’t know why but I could never overcome my shyness. People just seem like they don’t care and I don’t care for small talk or asking about other things to people to seem like I give a shit. I usually can only care for someone that I’m extremely close to and trust a ton. I don’t have any clue who I am anymore. I’ve been drinking and using so much drugs that I forgot I’m even autistic. I got a job, had gfs and friends all due to drinking and I lose them if I stay sober or if I drink. This life fucking sucks. | aspergers |
it’s easier to recall the traumas i’ve experienced than my own attributes, accomplishments, activities, etc. it makes me feel so inhuman, like i’m a punching bag and not a person. | ptsd |
Whenever I look someone in the eyes, I have this absurd urge to smile or laugh for no reason. I guess it's nervous laughter. So when I'm trying to have a serious conversation, when I try to do eye contact people think I'm immature and making fun of them, and if I avoid eye contact, they think I'm lying or being untrustworthy. Is there any way I can get better at this? | aspergers |
i keep having fucking disgusting thoughts while i masturbate so to combat that, i tried to ignore the thoughts and push them away and continue on with my task. i thought it was the right thing to do but now i just feel fucking disgusting. i hate myself for doing that. i know i was trying to not give my OCD power but i feel so disgusting now. i don’t know how i could masturbate despite those thoughts popping up. i was trying to think of other things while they came up but still. i shouldn’t have done anything. | OCD |
Interested in thoughts and discussion regarding how we talk about triggers.
So for example:
He triggered me.
vs.
I was triggered by him.
vs.
I was triggered when he...
Etc.
I'm wondering if phrasing matters in regards to intent. Typically we are taught in English classes to avoid using passive voice, but if someone did not purposefully try to trigger us, should we be phrasing it in a way that seems to be assigning blame on them for triggering us? And I'm wondering if phrasing matters in regards to what it may be reinforcing in our brains? | ptsd |
Hey, I only recently realized that both my brother and I are probably aspies, and I have some sudden questions about empathy. In the context of empathy both my brother and I always thought cognitive and affective marked the method used to empathize.
But doctors, researchers, and articles say that aspies have difficulty with cognitive empathy because logic, reason, and knowledge has to be used instead of just feeling it.
So if empathy is the method of understanding and cognitive and affective mark what is understood, then what is even supposed to happen here in terms of cognitive empathy? I understand that a person can have an often involuntary sensory or affective response to something (e.g. flinching when someone gets hurt, or getting sad when someone cries.)
So is cognitive empathy basically an involuntary or voluntary responsive thought? Isn't that just guessing?
Thanks in advance for reading and responding. | aspergers |
I feel like my OCD is causing me body dysmorphia. I see myself in the mirror and I am scared something about my body or face will change. Every time after I shower I will eventually spend 30 minutes staring at myself making sure everything is fine. | OCD |
Does anyone else feel like they’re in a constant cycle? Like I was handling my depression I was getting better and going to therapy and finally felt like I knew I could get to a place when everything would be okay
But then Monday I had to put my cat down unexpected. Only 6 months old and I’m back where I started it. It almost seems pointless to even continue working on my mental health if every time I start to get a grip on it something happens to cause me to go back where I started | depression |
I (16M) have been suffering for almost half my life, I currently live with my mother in a town that has been my home for my entire life. All I have ever wanted is to see other people happy and to help people but with how many other people are suffering right now it has taken its toll on me. I have completely given up on myself, I don't take care of myself I don't even go in public anymore and it is having a drastic effect on my performance in school. I feel so guilty whenever my mother asks me what's wrong and I tell her that I am fine since I despise the thought of lying to her but I can't bear the thought of her having more stress than she already does (she's a teacher). I have been doing the normal stuff like talking to social workers and the like but it has never helped and I fear nothing will. Not to be cheesy but all I want anymore is to have someone that I can love with all my heart, not the type of love between family members but a romantic kind of love. This post has been jumping around a lot but overall I am in a bad spot and don't know what to do anymore, the only thing holding me back from suicide is the fact that I don't want people to be upset over it. | depression |
My depressive mind convinces me that I've had depression for the majority of my life, and this may very well be true. It hasn't been until more recent years (mid 20s) that I realized how large a role lonliness plays in my depressive cycles.
Lonliness can occur when you're literally -- alone -- but also when you feel alone in your experience. Depression for me has always been typified by a deep sense of isolation. And what's worse, is that when I am deeply depressed, the few people I have in my life want to be further separated from me. I'm not fun to be around. So of course, I then feel even more isolated and disregarded. Sometimes I want to say to the people in my life, "I could be dead," to try to make them remember why it is that they love me. But I know that this can make certain relationships overly complicated at best and co-dependent at worst. So it's a positive-feedback loop... a spiral. Also, a chicken-or-the-egg question of, "was I depressed first or lonely?"
At our core, humans remain tribal, family-oriented beings. All human action is performed to ultimately be received by another human, even in the most indirect way.. Depression for me feels like a physical disconnection from my human need for connection to others. Although I often describe it more as a void -- a dark emptiness that captures everything with meaning and either obliterates it or transforms it into shards of glass that fly back at me to inflict a sharp pain. The pain is a real pain of being separated from the pack. When we are alone for too long, our biology starts working against us.. That being said, I don't know if people with depression can simply turn to other members of their "tribe" to help pull them out of it. But I think interacting with other people who have or are experiencing depression MIGHT help fill that basic need for connection. I've never tried group therapy, but I'd imagine it would be useful in filling this need. This thread is a useful (somewhat impersonal) form in a way. Certain drugs are maybe useful in this regard through connection to the collective unconscious or extending understandings of sentience beyond the human realm.
But in the least, being seen and heard by another human being can be immensely healing. Or on the flip-side, seeing or hearing another person's story can also do this. I think this is something innate to being human. Since all human activity is interconnected, we derive meaning from one another. And this is why I think this page can be so useful, too.
All this to say... for me, depression is inextricably linked to lonliness. Whether that's because depression leads to lonliness (lonliness in the world or as an internal experience) or lonliness that leads to depression. I'm curious if you have a similar connection.
Thanks for reading all this. | depression |
My dad was diagnosed with psychotic depression about a year and a half ago. He has been able to taper off meds and is doing well now. I’m however really scared that I’m going to develop schizophrenia. This fear started following me finding out that one of the antipsychotics my dad used to take was used commonly for schizophrenia. I keep seeking reassurance from my friends to see if what I’m hearing is really present or if I’m hallucinating. I’m really anxious. Anyone have any similar experiences to share? | OCD |
Growing up before I was diagnosed, I wasn’t the most social kid and I had anxiety about things. I had pretty nasty bullies that would shove wood chips in my eyes or rest their knee on my neck. When I hit middle school, I had a pretty big growth spurt and thankfully others stopped bullying me around this time. All of this was before I got diagnosed.
Once I got diagnosed, I got a lot of the help that I needed in class,but I still didn’t socialize much and preferred being alone. Once college was around the corner, I decided to go out of state to study in Chicago and this sort of made things worse for me socially. I got groped and assaulted at a night club, overstimulated by a lot of my friends who were always on drugs (no disrespect to anyone who uses drugs, just these guys built their entire identity around it), got threatened to be stabbed by someone and generally just hated being around people. When I visited my sister, she would take me to the most obnoxious clubs or bars and make me feel uncomfortable while trying to convince me that I’m just not confident enough to enjoy myself. I heard this exact mantra from most people in life and started to believe it.
Covid took its toll on me and I couldn’t stand staying where I currently live and decided to book a six day trip to Iceland randomly and… it made me realize I actually quite like people. I went to bars and actually enjoyed myself! I made people laugh and shared stories that got people from across the bar to come over and get to know me. I talked to people from so many nationalities and got along very well with all of them. I even got the contact info of some people I met and we still text one another. I genuinely didn’t think I had this in me and it made me very comfortable with myself which I haven’t felt in a while. It has all seriously made me want to travel to Europe more and I’m starting to suspect it’s where I’m meant to be.
So if you think you’re socially retarded, you may have just not met the right people. You deserve love and friendship, please keep trying 😊. Also if you go to Reykjavik, the Eric the Red guesthouse is a cute place and is a better option than a hostel if you’re not comfortable sharing bunk beds with strangers. | aspergers |
“I feel so worthless” “I’m such a worthless human being” “I don’t deserve to be happy, I’m so worthless” we feel this way and we are told we are wrong. That we are not useless/worthless. I think of a car I totaled years ago… totaled, being worth less then it would cost to fix it back to pre accident state. Are we really feeling worthless because of ourselves? Is everyone around us telling us that we are too totaled for them to bother with, too worthless, too useless. And I am too broken to fix myself… makes me wonder if everyone’s lives would have been better if I had managed to off my self 30 year ago when I first attempted when I was 8. Lol too angry at the world to let it off easy by killing myself, not angry enough to just say fuck and be that asshole that only cares about himself. Life sucks my depression neighbors! Don’t go gently into that good night!
Sorry needed a rant. Missing my daughters. One to a car accident at 8 months, and my other to my ex because I’m worthless. | depression |
Hi I’m Liz and I’m just really really depressed. Doctor doubled my dose of antidepressants but they make me manic. Getting started with a substance abuse counsellor next week because that’s how bad I’ve let it become - I’m addicted to a certain drug. I haven’t cried in a long long time. I want to cry but I can’t, I have nothing in me. I wish I could hug / hold myself . Night everyone | depression |
Hello all.💜 I hope everyone is doing well. So let me start off by saying that I have been actually diagnosed with PTSD for several reasons including childhood trauma, a bad car wreck, loss of a child, and a few other things that are contributing factors. My question that I'm having right now is about this: the other day I was having some blood taken at my OBGYN in order to get some labs done. I passed out. It was so bad. It was the worst one yet, and the last time I had a bad reaction to getting blood drawn was a couple years ago but I didn't actually become unconscious like I did this time. I won't go into the details of that but, I've been having flashbacks of the moments just before and after going unconscious at the doctors office and I have just been constantly nauseous from it lately. Can/is this triggering my PTSD? That's what it feels like, but I'm still quite new to being diagnosed.
Thank you.💜 | ptsd |
I'm in the USA, for starters. I recently decided to try therapy AGAIN and finally got into phone therapy with someone who is 'putting together a treatment team' but so far i have only spoken to this guy, who sounds about my age or a couple years older. I'm 26f.
I was raised in an abusive situation and my traumatic experiences still affect me daily, and honestly the connection between traumatic events and the problem i have now is really direct and obvious. I had a therapist in college look at bipolar and ptsd symptoms w me and we both decided ptsd fit, however in the US maybe i just cant officially hold the diagnosis? or she probably just didn't have the correct tirle to diagnose me or something.
Now, i have been speaking with this therapist for several weeks and he is aware of my recent ptsd 'diagnosis' but is now introducing the idea that i have bipolar instead. he is also aware of my refusal to take medication for many many reasons.
the thing is, i am 99.9999....% sure I don't have bipolar. my problems don't originate with a chemical imbalance, and I used to live with someone with Bipolar I, as well as have had friends with bipolar and MDD and have seen a bit of the disease as well as researched it. in my opinion whats wrong with me is all from trauma that i can pinpoint, i wasnt always like this until my traumas, and i think it's also irresponsible to ignore ptsd and try to saddle me with an incurable diagnosis i would 'need medication to treat'.
what do i do? | ptsd |
I rarely talk about it with people outside of my therapist and my immediate family. I try so hard to keep my friends and coworkers from seeing me struggle, especially when they trigger me in some way. I have to keep all my negative feelings and emotions to myself so I don’t have to explain my disorder to people, and keep them from feeling guilty for triggering me. It makes everything so much harder, but I don’t thing being honest with them would be productive. The last thing I want is for this disorder to hurt the relationships with my friends and the people I love. | ptsd |
So this is my first ever Reddit post so in typical ADHD fashion I will completely over share with strangers, but bare with me, there is a true point to all of this. Just probably a little heavy on the character development and beating a horse dead and then some to make sure you understand where I’m coming from.
Also- there’s a lot of side notes in this but please give advice on any and all topics. I’m pouring my heart out with the hope to either get pointers for myself or help others who can relate and get answers too.
Okay - I (24/F) got diagnosed for the first time/sought out any sort of professional psychiatric treatment at 23 in April of this year. I adore my psychiatrist, he’s wonderful and I’m so thankful that I am finally validated in my diagnosis. I have/ am finding answers to life long questions of mine and I’m on the road to understanding myself better.
Since April 2021 I have found my community, somewhat of a support system, and so many like minded people, but I cannot afford to see my psychiatrist as often as I would like. I am planning to see him later this month but I am limited to mostly emails with him while in between visits for the usual things or one off questions- prescription refills, ESA letter for my apartment complex, and adjusting my dosage blah blah blah…
Right now I am experiencing and going through each stage of diagnosis grief and I have been really struggling for the past few days. I have been in a really overwhelming head space and last night I was flirting with the idea of s/h and wanting to just give up.
I suffer from RLS and it’s exacerbated with my ADHD. I have leg cramps and muscle pain and charlie horses to the point where my legs seize up for 10+ minutes at a time. I cannot sleep, or it will wake me up from my sleep. It’s painful and it’s been worsening with my anxiety and desk job. (I work from home and I tend to sit criss cross for 8 hours a day. I will hyper focus and not realize my ankle is being crushed or my knee is hyperextended or what have you.
I do exercise often, I stay very well hydrated (classic 3-5 beverage options at my disposal at all times.) Although, I do drink coffee pretty frequently, but not daily- otherwise I get very addicted and get horrible caffeine withdrawals. I take magnesium and potassium supplements, Vitamin D, propranolol at night(prescribed for anxiety - non addictive and an adrenaline blocker), I am anemic so I am going to start taking iron supplements but nervous because they can make some people sick. I’m trying to incorporate getting massages maybe every 1-2 months and I see my chiropractor fairly often.
Last night I was so overly stimulated and agitated trying to soothe my legs from my RLS that I just had a full breakdown and spiraled into this dark mental state. The concerning thing is that it only took me about 7 minutes to go from laying in bed in pain to hyperventilating and over-examining my entire life and feeling so insanely limited by my obnoxiously loud brain and intrusive thoughts. I felt helpless- I started going down this rabbit hole thinking about all my short comings and dreams I gave up on because of those hurdles that were just too high. Or the limitations that made me fall behind and I gave up because it didn’t come naturally to me. I felt like such an oxymoron.
This hyper-passionate person who loves trying new things yet is too scared to initiate the first step in the process to even see if they like it or not. This Jill of all trades- master of none. I looked around my apartment seeing this eclectic mish mosh of things I enjoy or that I used to enjoy but they hold too much sentimental value to get rid of even though I am no longer interested in it.
My belongings represent me but don’t reflect me accurately if that makes sense…
I felt like to the common eye someone would genuinely be so confused trying to understand me if they looked through my belongings. Like in a morbid sense- like if I attempt and I die and my things are gone through afterwards people would be so surprised by the things I kept, or hobbies I picked up for a month and then dropped like a hot potato. The realization that people don’t understand me or are not “like me” and also that I don’t even understand myself yet.
I’ve always been described as this giddy joyful, passionate, happy/sweet/silly girl with a zest for like and can do any thing she puts her mind to. But I don’t relate to that description- in my head I am Eore. I am negative, I’m melancholy and self criticizing. I am wildly insecure (which I’ve made a lot of progress on but still full of self doubt.) I’ve always felt this deep connection to being sad, like that is my normal resting emotion. I romanticize the beauty in sadness and it pulls me under a lot of the time. I have tried anti depressants in highschool- prior to knowing I had ADHD and was prescribed them by my PCP but they made me incredibly suicidal and I actually attempted at 17.
When I was 16 I got S/A’d and I dropped out of highschool. I got my GED because I was so anxious and depressed and struggled with completing school work to the point where I was failing a couple classes. I took the GED test without studying and passed it on the first try. I won’t ever look at the positive of that situation. Yeah I passed without even really trying but in my head I think “I didn’t graduate. I took the easy way out.” That is one of my biggest shames I carry. I felt this societal pressure to achieve that, wear a cap and gown, make your parents proud- I didn’t do any of that. My “diploma” came in the mail creased and dirty and I have it hidden away in a document box. I so badly wish I had know I had adhd back then and I often wonder what version of myself would I be today if I can gotten diagnosed much earlier in life.
Now I know some of this may sound very cliche, the whole: “you’re in your mid twenties and still figuring yourself out, that’s normal to not know what to do with your life, and what you like or enjoy anymore.” But I would really like to hear perspectives of others on their diagnosis and life afterwards.
I do plan on seeing a therapist, I already have a referral because my psychiatrist can only do so much and I’m not necessarily looking to be medicated further. But I have been putting it off seemingly for an unnecessary amount of time. Almost as if I want myself to be without help because in my head if I ask for help that means I wasn’t good enough to do it on my own. Another unhealthy but luckily life saving (literally) reason I didn’t attempt is the sheer thought of, if I kms that makes me a failure, like as if I couldn’t handle life and I took the easy way out (which I know in reality is very f*ucked up, and obviously the way I am allowing myself to think about myself is not the easy way either) but for some reason out of spite, I stuck around and didn’t relapse with self harm or do something irreversible.
As I type all this out as a form of my own personal therapy session I realize I definitely need to seek help, but how does one come to terms with realizing there are no days off from having adhd. I’m a highly emotional person and feel very deeply and can easily get lost in my own head. So to some people their diagnosis might have been liberating and life changing (it was for me at first), but I think I had this underlying denial of “okay well now I know ‘what’s wrong with me’, now it’s just time to fix it.” And there is no “fixing” ADHD it’s a lifelong thing.
How do you accept it and work with it and not against it? How do you find yourself in the midst of it all and understand who you really are when you mind is constantly active and overwhelmed and unorganized. How do you find happiness when your interests and passions are constantly fleeting?
I am truly thankful for anyone that reads even a paragraph of this, and TIA for any advice.
-Jilly | ADHD |
So yeah, I’m 34F, no kids - I was pressured into accountancy as a kid, and I am now self employed & although I love the numbers & detail with also finding/solving problems…It’s now pretty obvious from the last few years that it is detrimental to me now on a work/life/stress basis.
Can anyone suggest any adhd compatible jobs? I can only think of traditional 9-5 jobs, “modern” jobs are an unknown entity to me if that makes sense 😰 | ADHD |
For those who do telehealth video therapy sessions and don’t feel comfortable having the session in your own home, is there somewhere you go to have these sessions? Somewhere with wifi? Like a Starbucks parking lot or something? I have my first session after moving back in with family and don’t feel comfortable enough talking about things in a small house with family. Thanks. | ptsd |
Since my face doesn't change ever I've found that poker is a really relaxing pastime especially at the casino. Anyone else? | aspergers |
I have been searching the sub for a while trying to find help for my worst symptoms, sometimes I think that I don’t have PTSD because my symptoms aren’t so common? My worst symptoms are flashbacks/intrusive thoughts/severe rumination which causes severe anxiety and insomnia and depression/suicidal ideation. I try so hard to not think about the trauma but my brain will refuse to not force me to remember/think about it, if I do let myself think about it, that just triggers really bad rumination where I’m paralysed with anxiety just thinking constantly and over and over about the trauma and become suicidal.
Are there any medications that could help this specifically? I know therapy is the most effective treatment but I think for me right now, it may be counterintuitive and trigger rumination/flashbacks which causes me to be anxious/depressed/suicidal. I just want to turn off my brain. | ptsd |
This past week I've been experiencing all the positives of ADHD.. hyper focus with great quality that carries me from 8am-9pm physically and artistically demanding job, building great relationships with clients, and I've been creative & kind to boot.
Now this isn't always the case, but now I'm realizing I'm in this state, because no matter what I do I can't feel rested or tired. I'm nervous I'll be crashing if I don't calm down.
As a person in there 30s, no insurance and having been the rock for my family.. i think I'll just have to struggle juggling this till something gives.
My girlfriend loves me. She just thinks I'm bipolar. Maybe that's true? But she's no doctor and can't imagine I am.
I just wish, like everyone else, to be understood. I feel on another level of concentration, but yet still wish I could be calm and loosened up enough to not forget everything little thing when a distraction occurs or deal with great anxiety when a variable pops up.
Ugh. Explaining this just makes it all seem so damn silly. If you're feeling what I'm feeling, feel free to share how you takes steps down from this. | ADHD |
You feel good about yourself, better then you felt in years or you get away from your abusers or you finally feel free of everything then *BAM* the bullshit starts.
The panic attacks, stress, overthinking, dissociation, depression, feeling worthless, hopeless, to exhausted to do anything, headaches out the ass, body just feels sluggish, can't sleep, can't eat, you just can't fucking function.
Just some straight bullshit. | ptsd |
2021 has been an entire year where I tried to kill myself over and over again. My family left me this year because of my mental disorder diagnosis. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, Schizoaffective disorder, PTSD, and Autism.
I haven't been able to work. Social security takes too long. I starve all the time. My power, my phone, my internet gets turned off all the time. I've sat in a dark cold apartment full of trash I can't get myself to clean up. The toilet is broken. The garbage disposal is broken. I don't even want maintenance in my apartment.
I tried ending it in March by overdosing on my medications, which with all these disorders I have like 5 of them I "need to take." My family never called. I live very far away but I don't even get a call. My Dad was my only support system financially, and emotionally. He did a shit job at it and was annoyed I was in the hospital again. When I got out I dropped out of college.
I have been in isolation since September of 2019. COVID made things worse, any chance I had to make friends was gone. I started a YouTube channel which did well and I LiveStreamed and made some friends that way, but now nobody shows up anymore and it makes me feel abandoned in that way too.
I started teaching mental health help on TikTok. I can't even follow my own advice sometimes. I never want to see a therapist again because they scared me away. No, I don't wanna go to the hospital where they strap me to a bed and beat me until my nose is bleeding with a bag they threw over my head. That's not help. That's all I've ever gotten. I don't want adivan injected into me either to where I can barely walk.
I live in Vegas so it's acceptable to drink during the day or whenever. When I do get money from social media I usually end up drinking most of it for temporary relief. When I'm drunk or high I don't want to hurt myself. Any other time I'm in this shit apartment that my Dad legally has to pay for until the second half of next year. He won't even talk to the landlord, let alone me. Just pays it for me. I hate him so much.
I hate all of them. Their brother is dying in Nevada. They know. There's 3 of my siblings, 2 useless parents, and extremely ignorant extended family who just dropped me when I got treatment.
I've ended up with body issues. I tattoo myself as much as I can and like to punish myself with how badly some areas will hurt. I want to tattoo my eyes, split my tongue, be completely unrecognizable as much as possible because I hate this body they gave me. I hate my name. I changed that too.
I've been in 5 psych wards this year, 3 of them in the last round of it. I had to go to the hospital because I had seizures after that from the antipsychotic medication I have to take.
I wanted to play video games with my viewers today, and after nobody really showed I just smoked a bunch of tar from my pipe to get high enough to fall asleep in my shit bed that I can't remember the last time I washed the sheets.
I've become a mean person. I'm very stand off ish and am almost excited when someone challenges me. I wish I'd get into a fight and someone would kill me or seriously injure me.
I live on the fourth floor of my apartment. I think of jumping off the balcony all the time. I can't stop wanting to make myself bleed. I constantly think of taking all my medication again. (I stopped my meds because I CANT AFFORD THEM. I've been put on so many different substances in the hospital and was not given instructions on how I'm supposed to pay for them outside of treatment or where they even sent the prescriptions to.)
Thanksgiving was awful. I tried sleeping through that day too. I don't think I can do Christmas. I'm already looking for things to hang myself with that won't let me escape when I finally do it.
To make things even better, my cat and dog were stolen from me by the police in Utah when they sent me to the hospital. This was after I was assaulted in someone's home and left in Utah with no ID and no money. I was homeless there and in and out of hospitals for weeks. I still don't have them back. They were the only thing that stopped me from trying to hang myself.
The bills too. Do you know how much debt I've been put in from FORCED HOSPITALIZATIONS?! How does that make any sense? Yeah lock me up against my will, abuse me, humiliate me, and then bill me for it. I throw away all the bills.
I don't have friends, and if I do they don't stick for long, nobody wants to date me just sex, no family wants to be around me. I'm just some dumb entertainer on the internet. I can genuinely say that I hate my life and I want it all to be over. I'm planning on killing myself for good this time on Christmas.
I want to make all those people hurt as much as I did and continue to. I wanted so much in life, I saw hints of getting what I want. But then I see people with real families. All I wanted was to get married and have a kid and I'll never have that.
Maybe I can find some nice pills to put me to sleep for good. | depression |
Hi guys, anyone got DBS (deep brain stimulation) done?
Would love to ask you some questions about it, since I'm on a waiting list for DBS as well as for a OCD/anxiety clinic.
And experiences sertaline + haldol? (or other anti-psychotics + antidepressants)
I've tried so many meds, but only one antipsychotic. Experiences anyone?
Im scared I'll be a zombie, since they put me on so many meds and now want to add more.
Lots of love <3 | OCD |
Ever since I was little I was a little fat boy who didn’t have much. 2012 we lived in a car and through our 2013 we lived in a hotel. I was a professional world of Warcraft player so I made what I could playing video games to help out. At the end of 2013 I realized it wasn’t enough so I lost 120 pounds after that I moved to south Miami to change. I found a job a apartment and I was able to move my family to Miami. I was around the age 18 after a couple years of establishing my credit I got my second car a ralliart lancer never dreamed to own. Went to college maintained a 3.9 gpa. Then I met a girl…. From there I let my self go down hill spending thousands on drugs to feel better when we argued. I crashed my car drunk got a camaro and I found a new way to express my pain in driving. I’m a fairly skilled driver with bad look. I stopped going to school I stopped paying for my credit cards I’ve been through two Camaro’s a mustang all brand new cars. I think I fucked it all up my life my future. I want to kill my self I can’t get a license. I truly want to die after being a addicted for 2-3 years now at the age of 25 turning 26. I don’t think I can fix my self. I don’t know who I am. I think I’m doomed to be a piece of shit. I wanted to change the world…. My life doesn’t matter anymore, I’m only here because of my sisters I couldn’t put them through the grief | depression |
I'm 28 and currently undiagnosed but I'm 99.9% sure I have ADHD. I've been visiting a lot of doctors to get a referral here in Canada so it might take a while to get an appointment for an official diagnosis and get medicated so right now I'm just trying my best to not be overwhelmed (failing pretty bad..).
I'm unemployed and graduated in Computer Science this Summer. However, I didn't actually retain much knowledge and can't program for my life (Just very basic Java). I got through school with the help of friends for projects/assignments and rote learned for the exams. So, I am in a shitty position where I can't code at a decent level to pass the HackeRank exams and leetcode is just not realistic for me to learn with ADHD (unless I HYPERFOCUS on it, unlikely, leetcode is literally anti-dopamine lol).
I'm losing my mind every day at the thought of falling behind everyone else and feel like an absolute freaken loser for not being able to work on my skills to better my chance at meaningful employment. Any tips or advice out there on how to succeed in getting a job? I have never been employed full-time in my entire life as well which makes me sick to my stomach. | ADHD |
Anyone else feels that drinking alcohol makes their ocd and anxiety worse? Usually when I'm too drunk I start to talk about my intrusive thoughts to my friends and the next day I feel immense regret because I'm scared that they won't understand (usually they don't). Especially my rocd thoughts which are now under control. But after a night out I get a huge spike in anxiety and my thoughts spiral again for a few days or even weeks. Maybe I just should give up alcohol. | OCD |
Hello I’ve very new to this type of post, I’m not sure if it’s even OCD.
Anyway before Covid hit I was generally fine with surfaces and washed hands maybe 2-4 times a day. But now I’m washing my hands after I’ve touched every new surface I think it sums up to about 15-20 times a day now. But if I don’t wash my hands I get an itch and I get very uncomfortable touching other surfaces so much so I will sanitise the object that I touched afterwards.
Till recently though I had a thought in my head which is Covid could be in your hair. And I have very long hair who when I get hair on my lips in my head Covid is now on my lips. So I then have a compulsive need to wash my face. The rational side knows the chances are low but anxiety is a very prominent figure in my head.
I’ve been to the doctors and they’ve suggested the usual Counsellor, medication but I’ve been though that and they haven’t worked. I feel at an impasse where I’m stuck in this constant cycle and it’s making me miserable.
Thank you for taking the time to read though I hope you have a lovely day | OCD |
My depression has really taken a toll on me. I’m not happy with my life. The only thing that makes me happy is my husband. But I hate the job I work. I hate that I cannot sleep. I feel like I just lay there most night and just think. So depression has really sunk in and just taken over. I’m scared this time. The darkness is so bad. I’m not on any antidepressants or anything. I’m scared of the effects it will bring me again. Sometime I do often wonder what it would be like if I wasn’t here on this earth. Then I cry. Just like that. Why is it now that It crawls in and is like “yup we are gonna be like this for awhile”. I just wanna be done. I just.. I feel like life hates me. Like a lot. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Anyone else feel like this? | depression |
I have seen 5 different psychiatrists and four therapists (probably more I don't feel like counting) over the past 3 years, but I have never received a full psych eval. No one ever recommended it. I didn't even know psych evals were a thing bc I started dating my bf this summer.
Is that something that is supposed to happen? Are there a lot of y'all that haven't gotten one, but were able to get a diagnosis? | ADHD |
I wanna hear stories of people on here overcoming/working with their autism to achieve a huge goal that their autism makes hard to achieve
That’s all
End of post | aspergers |
I am new at my job. Recent grad with an anxiety disorder and adhd, it’s not pretty. I have a lot of responsibility and I like the work, but I am constantly going over if my boss hates me or not.
Well this morning, I transferred a call to my boss and then later he told me it held the person in limbo for 18 minutes. Luckily my boss is chill but I am 95% sure I didn’t place them on a hold because I saw myself type in the extension. Part of me is thinking, “who waits on hold that long for one person?” Other part of me is thinking holy shit I’m so fucking dumb. I can’t stop overthinking. And then I was so worried about that, I transferred the next caller to the wrong person!! She was not impressed. Don’t blame her.
How can I stop making small mistakes that make me look so dumb? I have worked so hard to get where I am today and I take my adhd meds and I try so hard to focus, but I always somehow seem to fuck it up. Any advice is appreciated. | ADHD |
Feel free to check my post history for context if it helps, but I would like to get my 12yr old daughter screened for ADHD. I’m not really sure how to bring it up to her because I know it will cause her a lot of stress, partially because she hates doctors and medical stuff (not exaggerating, doctors visits = epic meltdowns and a source of huge anxiety for her).
I want to make sure she feels supported and not like I am thinking anything is “wrong” with her, which I could see her jumping to that conclusion.
Just curious if you have any tips or recommendations on how to approach this with her? Also, would I just contact her regular pediatrician or a behavioral health professional?
On a side note, we found a tutor who has SEL teaching experience. Does this seem like a good fit for ADHD? Her main role will be to support our student in her homework and projects but also to help our child with learning strategies and independence/confidence with homework. I’ve never had a tutor myself nor have hired one so I honestly have no idea what to expect.
Open to any other way or tips on how to support my child too! | ADHD |
Tgis is more like an off my chest post. But I’m really into a man for a long time now. We’re both on the spectrum, but a bit different. He’s way more introvert than me - and that’s not a problem.
But in over a year, I could barely get to know him a bit. And it was all my effort. Countless meltdowns. Sadness. Giving up. Etc.
I even gave up the idea of being together. I just wanted to be friends. In his book, maybe we are. It means we talk few times a month and that’s it. Sometimes few times a week.
But for me, that’s nothing.
We iften talk about him not me. I often try to help him.He offered to help me only few times and mostly because I asked him for months if he could help me with something.
I know I have to move on. Maybe in time, I can.
He didn’t tell me if he likes me. I told him I like him (even as friends).
He may show his care in different ways. But only when he wants, veeery rarely.
I have to move on. I know I should. I don’t know what drags me back to him
We have few common passions but we don’t discuss much about it. Everytime i try i feel he gets anxious if we talk more than 10-15 min. Even if we text he stops responding
I feel like a dog. I feel sad hurt and confused. I feel dumb. I just feel a weird connection with him…
Thank you for reading this far. And thank you for listening to my sad text. I wish you the best. Have a good day. | aspergers |
In one of my other posts, I vented about how my POCD was making me think my father could be a ped. I've gotten better at dealing with those thoughts but now I start checking his tablet and phone to see if he has interest in cp. I find excuses to walk in on him to see what he's doing. I'm convinced that this is me, not my OCD. | OCD |
I'm in the last semester in university, but I've always felt incredible difficulty in retaining things learned and sitting down to study since school, even though I always managed to pass the exams. Now I have to finish my thesis but I'm simply unable to write. I will probably delay for the next year and cancel my graduation party (and lose money, yikes)
That said, I'm also depressed since high school, with an extreme low self-esteem, which has worsened in the last months (maybe because of the stress). I went to therapy but it never worked for me.
Talking to my mother, she said this might be caused by my dislike of the subject. I really don't love my graduation (law), but also never liked any other options (I have even attended half of engineering course before dropping out), so it wasn't really misguided choice.
I have never been diagnosed, but reading about it's symptoms there's no way I don't have this. Could this have been caused by depression or the other way around? | depression |
like with my ocd i feel bad about any and every mistake ive made or thing ive thought, even if it was an accident. like ive had things that ive done or thoughts that i had NO IDEA were bad since i wasnt even thinking or doing them with any bad intentions or maybe even just straight up trying to be good, but it went wrong since im just really oblivious. then ill feel awful regardless.
like for example, i saw a post on tiktok of someones opinion on something and i somewhat agreed since i was thinking of it in a totally different context, but then i saw the comments and realized that what they actually meant was awful and instantly took my opinion back. but now my ocd is making me feel awful for it
i wish i werent so oblivious to these things. i just wanna be a good person to my loved ones and just in general | OCD |
I've been having anxiety attacks almost daily for the last two months after a breakdown. I'm a people pleaser and tried to take on more than I could handle, and that took its toll on me.
Now I flare up at every little thing. I start shaking, feeling like trash, having intrusive thoughts, the whole package.
Now there's a new thing. Along with the ideas about killing myself, I have a warm feeling in my wrists. I don't know how to feel about this, but I do know that it would be my go-to move if I ever wanted to "end it".
I need help | depression |
I'm having a really hard time right now. I got a psychological assessment to confirm an ADHD diagnosis, and they said I don't have ADHD. The assessment says all my ADHD-ish symptoms must just be my anxiety and/or "just your personality". Part of the assessment was an IQ test, and I had a wild swing between language and processing IQ subtests, so I think the idea is that that might be part of what I'm dealing with too -- but lower processing score was still in the average range so I'm not impaired in any way. I can get into the details of the assessment if anyone's interested.
My therapist says the assessment is the "gold standard" for ADHD diagnosis, and as such she agrees with it. She's the one who originally suggested I might have ADHD, but then sort of backpedalled after a while, saying that she thought I just have anxiety "which can be very distracting and can mimic ADHD". My psychiatrist says I have ADHD and that I have a number of ADHD symptoms that are not on the list of things that anxiety can mimic, but none of the meds I've tried have worked out for me. (Vyvanse and Strattera did have some positive effects but I wasn't able to tolerate the side effects.) But before I saw her, I saw a different psychiatrist who said I can't have ADHD because I'm too high performing.
People who say I have ADHD: 1 psychiatrist, me, my friends. People who say it's just anxiety: 1 psychiatrist, 1 therapist, 1 grad student (who did my assessment), and her advisor (a licensed clinician). I'm a 41 yo woman and my initial diagnosis was only a couple of years ago. I was a "gifted" kid and none of the adults in my life saw any hint of ADHD because it was the 80s and girls didn't have ADHD in the 80s. I feel like I'm one of those "not classic ADHD so I flew under the radar for decades" cases.
Anyway, the un-diagnosis is really not sitting right with me. Being told that I don't have ADHD, that it's all just have anxiety, feels a lot like "you're just a hysterical woman, suck it up and meditate more and you'll be fine". I definitely have anxiety, no question. But it really upsets me to go back to a life where all my ADHD-ish symptoms are personality flaws. That's the mindset I lived with for my first 39 years, and it's not a happy place. Things like terrible procrastination, cuticle chewing & skin picking, falling asleep when bored, low frustration tolerance, bad emotional regulation, a house filled with clutter, being unable to stick with boring tasks, unable to deal with delayed gratification, constantly interrupting in conversation, etc. The list is really long and I hate to think it's just my personality or whatever.
Have any of you faced this problem? Being told you're just anxious? What do I do? Should I try to find a new therapist or something, someone who's more on board with a diagnosis I feel is right? At this point I have such a large number of credentialed professionals who've told me I don't have it that it feels wrong to disregard their expertise...
UPDATE 12/15/21: I saw my psychiatrist today, the one who originally diagnosed me with ADHD. We re-did the Barclays assessment and she asked me questions about my challenges around initiation, boredom, having a hard time sticking with difficult things, distraction, and hyperfocus. She reiterated that she thinks I have ADHD. She has a whole list of reasons why based on what I've said, and none of them are things that can be quantified in some sort of cognitive test. I also had a bunch of answers on the ADHD end of the spectrum on the Barclays assessment. But given that I haven't had much relief from ADHD meds (the side effects are intolerable) I'm going to focus on treating the anxiety and see where that gets me...
I've been thinking about all this a lot in the past month and it's still very confusing. Sometimes I feel like maybe I really am just lazy and I never learned how to do hard work because academics were so easy for me growing up, and I just need to buck up and try harder and stop being so damn lazy. On the one hand it feels kind of empowering (because I feel like I have the power to change it). But on the other hand I feel like I'm gaslighting myself and I really don't suck that much! I've noticed I can buckle down, do the work, and feel like "hey I can do this, I've got my shit together! I'm a real grownup"... that lasts for a day or two, or maybe even a week, and then the house of cards comes crashing down. I drop all the balls I've been juggling and start half-assing everything again. :/ | ADHD |
Do any of you relate to the fact you have to make a real effort to hold onto certain thoughts/actions before they just get dropped by your brain?
That you can feel it's slipping away consciously and you're "like no no no, remember, come back" and then it's gone and you know it's gone and no matter how hard you try, it's like you never had the thought to start with, only the placeholder for the thought. Like the thought has put a sign on it's room being like "popped out, back later". You can try and retrace your steps, but then you can't even do that because that's gone too.
Today at work, I wrote something in my notepad and that prompted me to remember to do something. Knowing what I'm like, I dropped what I was writing and moved to my laptop. Then I thought "what I need is on my usb," which was in my work PC. I take my USB out the PC and put it in my laptop. File manager opens.
...
...
What was I doing again?
Tell me your stories about this, I'm sure I'm not the only one. | ADHD |
I’m not sure which of the seemingly endless trauma has damaged me the most. But what I do know is that in order to protect myself from what was happening I basically just pretended it wasn’t happening at all.
The worst has passed now, but I’m still a mess. I still tell myself I’m fine despite knowing I’m not. Actually even acknowledging that this is real brings on feelings I never knew could be so intense. The last time I went towards my reality I made an attempt on my life.
The thing is. It’s not proper denial anymore. For a while I genuinely believed I was fine and so I carried on expecting everything to just, you know, sort itself out. But now that’s cracked. So I sit in this strange, horrible limbo state where I can’t believe my denial stories anymore, but I refuse to accept reality is it just destroys me.
I’m so fucking angry that all of this has happened to me. It sounds so childish but it’s just not fair. Seeing people cruise through life whilst we suffer so much.
Anyway, that’s all. I I wish I could break out of this state without it destroying me but I just don’t see how it’s possible. Thanks for listening. | ptsd |
I know this isn't a way to get diagnosed, but until i decide to have a visit with a psychiatrist i wanted to make a post here. I have aspergers syndrome which makes me unable to know what i'm feeling and distinguish my enotions. I also have depression caused by a health issue where i have difficulty with staying awake during lessons. It is happening for 3 years now, getting worse as the time goes on. My sleeping issue caused me to have worse grades because i didn't remember what happened exactly during a lesson and i also didn't have time at home to do normal homework because of me sleeping a lot after school where i also additionally had to study the topic of the lessons where i fell asleep. This caused me as the time went on to stop doing my hobbies from the lack of time, stop going to after school activities like fencing that i started to do recently at that time, and not being able to make all the homework and study every lesson that i couldn't pay attention to. To add to that i felt awful during school because i'd feel i'm getting tired and i'm going to fall asleep, and it was the worst thing ever to try to stay awake because i had to pay a lot of attention to that and it was mentallyexhauisting. At that happened every day. Now i started a new school year at a new school but after a month of me feeling awful for a whole 45 minute lesson, i couldn't take it anymore and since then i'm staying at home. Now i have teachers coming to my home teaching me, but that also stopped because of the virus. Right before i started to write this i wanted to do some homework that was gave to me online, but i just sat in front of my computer thinking about doing it and quickly getting more and more tired and i just couldn't do it because i felt as it was pointless. I've also had dreams where i would "wake up" somewhere not knowing what was happening - just like in school where a teacher sometimes would catch me a ask me to do an exercise and i just didn't know which or how to it. There were a few other symptoms which fit in with me that i saw online. I just don't know if my experience would be able to cause ptsd. Thank you in advance for commenting. | ptsd |
After reading more about ADHD symptoms and symptoms that show up in women, it’s been encouraging me to actually go and get diagnosed with ADHD. However, a symptom that I don’t relate to is procrastinating in school/on homework.
Whenever I have an assignment due or projects that need to be done, I do them right away and many weeks in advance since I can’t enjoy my free time with the feeling of having responsibilities due. I’m wondering if this could be ADHD acting out in a different way. Is anyone else like this? I do procrastinate on daily tasks though such as laundry, cutting my nails, brushing my teeth, etc. | ADHD |
Hi friends, looking for some advice, and I'm new to this sub. Found it when I Googled my question, but I didn't find the answer I was looking for so I'm posting my question.
What do y'all do for a job, do you love it or hate it, and why?
I'm one of those people who's starting to figure out that I probably have ADHD a good bit into adulthood, and while I'm trying to make lifestyle changes (diet, exercise, etc.) to help with my overall moodyness, I just can't get past how much I hate my job.
There's no need to get into all the details here, but basically it's a boring office job. It's the kind of job where my efforts are never enough, and I'm constantly being pressured to revolve more and more of my life around something I will never care about more than I need to in order to collect a paycheck.
The problem is that it's got good pay and benefits, and the job function itself is pretty easy, so I've stuck it out long enough that this is now kind of my career. It's something I could probably do indefinitely, but it leaves me feeling so empty that I have no energy left to do anything I like outside of work, and I'm feeling that my overall quality of life is poor because I don't have any hobbies, I have no connection to my local community, I'm always reluctant to socialize, etc.
I'd like to make a career transition, but I know that's the sort of thing I'll only get to do once, so I want to make it count. It has to make a decent amount of money, it has to be fun, and it has to be something that someone with zero experience can transition into. I know that's a tall order, but it is what it is.
So I ask again; what do you do for a job, do you love it or hate it, and why? | ADHD |
Just can't seem to stop feeling guilty over something to stupid I did when I was 11 - 13 years old can't stop ruminating over the memory and going over it it's just making me feel like I don't deserve happiness and love you guys feeling like this too? | OCD |
I've had bizarre intrusive thoughts and ritualistic compulsions since I was about 9 years old. It started with my mother's doll. I took it to the grocery store and set it down on a pile of oranges while I grabbed something. Then, fearing it was somehow contaminated, I never touched it again. I won't touch it to this day.
My symptoms tend to be rather cyclical, so I can go months at a time symptom-free, only for them to either recur suddenly, or for me to realize that something I thought was completely normal was actually irrational. (Example: I went down with a psychosomatic illness, and I immediately got well when I realized that was all it was.)
I've been fine for a while, and I was just congratulating myself the other day on how well I've managed my symptoms.
.... Until last night. And today.
My worst compulsion by far for the last few years has been Googling, and lo and behold, my screen time on my phone today (a full work/school day) was 8 hours, not to mention what I searched on my laptop. And I'm frantic that I may have accidentally searched something sketchy, and that I'm on a watchlist or something, and that only makes me Google more. It's so cyclical, and it never ends.
In the back of my mind I know it's totally irrational. I know, and I can't stop myself. During all the little moments when I'm not Googling, I'm thinking of new things I'm stressed about that I can look up. I can't take my mind off it, not ever. All the usual tactics I try for mild episodes aren't working - not books, music, games, or exercise. *I can't stop.* I thought I was good at controlling myself, but I feel so utterly powerless.
Somehow I also managed to dislocate something in my knee today, which is, of course, only giving me more material for Googling.
I'm so anxious and scared and guilty that I don't know what to do. (Other than Google "how not to feel anxious," of course.) I have to study for finals, but I can't put my mind on my books for more than two to three minutes at a time.
I'm new to this community, so if you have any advice, I'm all ears. | OCD |
Does anyone else find there’s no grey area in anything, so with what you believe in (especially when backed by science and facts)
, it’s impossible not only to see the other side of things but in certain cases like anti vax or right wingers it makes you extremely angry when they say anything ?
Like at the moment people say to me oh just ignore that person being racist or spouting garbage about vaccines don’t work etc but i absolutely hate those people saying that stuff. I can’t find a way to just ignore it, I have to correct them or tell them to shut up. | aspergers |
Im an aspie that also has adhd. Ever since I was 6 ive had pretty bad anxiety, more specifically emetophobia, or the fear of throwing up. The idea of throwing up causes all kinds of anxiety for me, but on the rare occasions it actually happens, I dont give a shit. I was just wondering if this is something common among aspies or other autistic folks, and if not, if you have any other specific fears, what are they? Please let me know. | aspergers |
I'm 14 years old but I've witnessed things that a 30 years old adult man would've witnessed. My dad died 5 years ago. My mom had cancer. I have no friends. My only friend left me yesterday while i was trying to motivate her. I'm completely destroyed and isolated in my room. Weebing and self harming. I'm diagnosed with severe depression 2 years ago by a professional. I have anxiety and social anxiety. I'm not ok. | depression |
i have ocd with a theme of contamination… I went over to my boyfriends house today. His family just got back from vacation (they’re all fully vaccinated and no longer wear masks) and now i feel as if i’ve been contaminated. oddly enough i’m not even freaking out about just about getting sick but i just feel so gross and like i’m contaminated and can’t shake it. I try to push myself and talk back to ocd but I keep thinking of all worst case scenarios and i’d be lying if i said i didn’t still obsess over being sick. Even more specifically i stress about being sick at work and have a shift tuesday morning and am now going into panic mode. it’s so exhausting after all these years dealing w the same worries. I don’t have many people i can talk about this with who truly understand but i’m hoping at least someone on here does | OCD |
I yearn for paradise. I want a world where I can wake up in a sunny field with a lover, and enjoy life. I want to wake up feeling excited for whats to come, and enjoying nature. Instead I wake up alone in a dark cold room in a grey campus with my thoughts racing. I cant let myself enjoy anything or try anything new. I cant retain any information for my classes either. Im so goddamn sick of this fucking pandemic and how bullshit college is. I fucking hate everything. Why cant life be like how it was in ancient times? Why isnt just existing good enough anymore? I want to take it easy this summer without any work or stress and everyone looks down on me for it. “You should be doing an internship or working for your degree or taking more classes-“ WHY CANT I JUST FUCKING TAKE A BREAK!!!! Everyone around me seems happy as can be and have 4.0 GPAs and I feel like such a fucking idiot compared to them. I cant do anything right, I cant get a relationship and Im so disappointed and unhappy with myself. This life is a fucking hellscape. I wish I couldve been born in a time where there wasnt this insurmountable level of pressure on my shoulders. Being above average isnt even good enough anymore. I fucking hate everyone and everything. Theres no fucking hope for anything anymore. I just want to be happy!!!!!! | OCD |
what it says in the title. my mental health has been spiraling lately and i have no one to talk to about it. i am losing interest in everything that i love. art is no longer fun, games are no longer fun, baking is no longer fun, literally nothing i do is fun anymore and that scares me so much. i spend my days dissociating and i feel like a husk of a person. days blur together and the last week has felt like 20 minutes at most. my memory is foggy and im starting to hallucinate more and more frequently. i have no one to talk to and sometimes i think id be better to just kill myself than to live like this | depression |
Hi everyone
So awhile ago I posted on here wondering if anyone else had experienced acne breakouts since starting adhd medication and while theres not a lot of info on it I think I’ve found an answer that might be useful to some people on here.
While adderall has no direct link to acne, basically under-eating (lack of appetite side effect) can cause acne even if your eating super healthy and have a great skin care routine. It can throw hormones out of wack not eating enough but hormonal medication wont be enough to stop the acne or any acne medication
So try to make an effort to eat before you take your medication and try to make sure your eating ENOUGH ❤️ this is something i have to work on but I just feel like I finally found a realistic answer to the link between the two when ive never had acne before adderall
i hope this finds anyone who needs this | ADHD |
I am interested in how many here are openly with there condition and tell people. Or if you only tell close family members or only people that can concerns this like teachers or HR.
I personaly would not tell a lot of people because i dont want to be treated differently. But i am yet to be officially diagnosed so i am not sure how to handle it and what would be the best solution | ADHD |
Do you guys check stuff all the time too? I used to think I was either stupid or had some form of Alzheimer’s. Lately I started taking pics just to make sure but even that makes me anxious. My friend asked me if that’s part of OCD and I’m curious what you guys think. Is it just bad memory or OCD? | OCD |
I self published a comicbook on Amazon. I am a retired Veteran of 20 years. I was diagnosed qith PTSD 4 years ago. I barely finished my 20 years. I lost my best friend to PTSD soon after. This book ia the culmination of his lost and my art therapy. This post is more about showing how I deal with my PTSD than self promotion, but I will post a link in the comments if any wants it. | ptsd |
I hate this one so much, and someone told me I have valid reason too- it broke any bit of hope left. I realize the decisions I could have made and how love and support have distanced themselves from em. Now I’m the result. I am the worse case scenario. Ot sucks I just want to ball my eyes out and scream | depression |
Hi there,
I am very new to learning about Aspergers so please excuse my ignorance. I know that individuals on the spectrum may find it hard to make friends. I have seen people on here saying that they don't often initiate conversations, feel like they are being a pain/burden etc. Does this change much once a friendship is truly established and feels secure? Are you then freely able to engage as freely and often as you like without worry? Would the need to withdraw still be as strong in longer friendships vs new friends?
:) | aspergers |
Yesterday i thinned out my bulky hair just a little bit, very tiny amount and not even that noticeable. HOWEVER, i've been thinking about this whole day, and yesterday evening that what if i cut one side thinner? I've been touching and brushing my hair a lot and trying to feel if one side is thinner but idk if i'm just imagining it. Why am i overthinking this? I even cried about it and tried to stop myself because this is so stupid 😭😭 | OCD |
I mean in the sense that the obsessive & compulsivity is more thought-related (a mental action) then like the stereotypical symptom of “gotta wash my hands twice” (a physical action).
I struggle with depression and generalized & social anxiety, kinda bad. Social anxiety is real bad because I don’t even feel safe in my own house in my own room, I live with my parents and brother and I’m always on high-alert even just being in my room. Negative thoughts are absolutely nothing new to me. I have the hardest time getting them out of my head. I thought it was just bad rumination at first, but I’m starting to think it could be an OCD thing? Also heard with ADHD (that I also have) that OCD is a bit typical, so another reason why I think I could have it in this mental-talk form.
Even when I deny the thoughts I have, let’s say “I am unworthy of receiving help”, if I try to accept the opposite, that I am worthy of receiving help, my mind stresses itself out (as if it’s confused and could not believe the “lie” being told) and it’s like my body refuses to believe it, which then makes my whole body tensed like a pre temper tantrum.
But anyways, I just have a lot of trouble getting out of my head. Even when doing physical things that are supposed to get to your of your head, I still struggle ignoring my mind & thoughts that come about. I’m an HSP so I cry a lot of the time just because of my thoughts. It’s exhausting. | OCD |
Very frustrated to see that my insurance has decided to not cover brand-name Adderall XR. I'm of course going to talk to my GP about alternatives, but I can't do anything like that until tomorrow.
Has anyone else switched from XR to the generic? Is it as effective for you? Anything I should know?
Thanks, this is just frustrating. I hate having my ability to think at the mercy of bureaucrats.
Stay safe! <3 | ADHD |
Hello, I have a really big dilemma. My foster sister is from the family that I got molested by. She isn't by any means responsible, and I love her dearly, she got abused too. Both sexually and by her narc sister and dad. She's a trigger for me however, anytime I see her I get flashbacks of her older sister and then think of what happened to me. I don't know if I can have her living here with me. Should I tell my parents this?. It makes me feel guilty because she doesn't deserve to be alone. She didn't deserve any of this, and she doesn't deserve to be punished for my pain. | ptsd |
Just recently every time I feel emotional, empathetic, loveable. Pretty much anything, I have this thought of "you're faking it" or a feeling of, not feeling said feeling strongly enough or in a complete type of way and then the thoughts of "if something happens to them after this, you'll never forgive yourself for not being able to show them true emotional affection completely enough and since you're incapable of doing that now, it means that you don't really love them or care about them to begin with"
All while, I suddenly realize that I've been standing there doing dishes thinking about all of this consuming chaos then proceed to think "woah.. shit man... you're rude as hell" to myself.
I'm a mess. And nothing seems to help. | OCD |
So technically the house is no longer my ex's house, he lived there while we were dating but moved roughly a year after we broke up. My little sister's friend now lives there. I have to go pick her up from her house. I'm worried that ill have a small panic attack when I pull in the driveway. I've been dreading this all week. It's currently 2 pm and I am planning on leaving in about an hour so my anxiety is going crazy right now. I don't really need any advice or anything, I just needed to get that off my chest. | ptsd |
I look around and see constant negativity everywhere I go. There’s a depressing energy in the air. It’s almost Christmas in Australia, except it doesn’t feel like it.
The news is constantly filled with all of the worst parts of humanity 24/7. It’s everywhere I go.
The worst part is that this was not what my country was. We were the lucky country. Now others feel lucky they are not here.
It’s depressing man. I wish I could leave. | depression |
You see due to the trauma I've experienced as a kid I've never truly felt safe anywhere. I've never felt safe at my house, a family members house, a friends house, at school, with friends, with family, basically no one or no where. But when I do get my frist taste of safety I instantly become attached.
I only ever felt safe in my room, at one of my friends house, at my exs place, and whenever I was with my ex in general I felt safe. I basically become like a child and just want to be there or with them as much as possible. Feeling safe is such a weird and nice feeling that it terrifies me because I rarely have ever felt it and when I do I just want to feel it all the time.
What's odd is that when I do feel safe with someone or somewhere I instantly become tired which is odd. It's like my body telling me "Hey you know you don't have to be on constat alert here, we can rest and just relax." Maybe I'm just weird or something idk but does anyone else feel this or have felt this? | ptsd |
Hi Everyone, I have a question regarding the role of urges/impulses in OCD. It seems that urges are seldom addressed in most of the literature about OCD. There is a a lot out there about unwanted, or intrusive thoughts, but it is presented in such a way that it's almost as though these thoughts exist in a vacuum, and are completely divorced from emotion. I was diagnosed with OCD over twenty years ago. In addition to intrusive thoughts, I have also experienced urges that compel me to act on those thoughts. Because of this, I have never completely bought into my diagnosis, and a big part of me fears that I have something far worse. In the back of my mind, I have often thought that the diagnosis is simply wishful thinking, on the part of the many mental healthcare providers that I have seen over the years. There have definitely been times where I had an intrusive thought, and an urge to act on it. These impulses make me feel so vile, and low. It is almost like I am covered in a kind of dirt that I can never wash off. I guess what I am trying to ask is this, because I have a thought, and an urge to act on that thought does the urge/impulse mean that deep down inside, I actually want to do it, and because I want to do it, does it mean that I don't actually have OCD? Does it mean that I am a sociopath for example, whose impulses are only held in check because of the potential consequences of acting on my thoughts? I really struggle to reconcile the conflict between thoughts, and their accompanying emotions. Does anyone else struggle with this? Does it ever make you think that you don't actually have OCD? | OCD |
The thing is i went through this exact same thing few months back and was able to finally come to term with it and tolerate the uncertainty. But for some reason it's rising back again... So like, there's this girl who's my friend. But like I suddenly randomly got like a quick visual of me and her being romantic and I got really uncomfortable with it but now I'm like again kinda panicking over it. Like the thing is now, when I'm near her or talk to her I get physical reactions such as sweating too. And like I get intrusive thoughts like 'oh you find her hot.' or 'you're gay bc actually you have a crush on her': things like that. The thing is though, before it got bad again, I did feel like a desire: but NOT a romantic or sexual desire, it was like a desire or willingness to spend more time with her as platonic friends. Bc we are friends but I didn't really get to spend a lot of time with her bc she is a pretty busy person. But-like what I hope is HOCD- now my thoughts are twisting that and keeps telling me that I have a romantic crush on her. But I don't want to be and it makes me feel so uncomfortable and scared... Is this HOCD or am I in denial?? | OCD |
hi! i was recently diagnosed with adhd-pi. my biggest struggle is what i call scramble-brain. basically, i lose my train of thought a lot and i also have trouble organizing my thoughts. the worst is when i lose my thoughts while organizing them and i have to go back to square 1. it interferes with a lot of my academic/career side of my life, like for instance, i have trouble following profs in lecture because i need to focus on like every word and they go too fast for me to process. i've also been interviewing for technical internships and in coding interviews i literally just...lose my thought in the middle of thinking/talking about it, which is frustrating AND not a good look.
i'm planning to start medication mostly because i'm hoping it'll help with scramble-brain. i don't want to have my expectations set too high though :-(( if any of you struggle this much with the same issue, has it helped? would you recommend? tia <3 | ADHD |
I feel like I'm defective because of this curse of autism. Like I'm always held back while all of my peers go on about their lives and do things much more important or more difficult than what I am doing. What's worse is that everyone sees me as just being lazy or making excuses and that I should just get over myself when that really isn't the case. It's not that I don't want to do anything, it's just that I genuinely feel like I can't. | aspergers |
Sensory overload has been a problem for me lately usually sight or sound. Thankfully not both at once. What do you guys do if you encounter a sensory overload but still have to work or do things?
Today I'm dealing with hypersensitivity I think. Mind going in a bunch of directions all at once. I can focus it and it's making me super productive but I feel like I'm not as productive as I could be. For reference I just did about 4 hours of work in under 20 minutes. I'm set to see my therapist in a few days and this is definitely coming up. In the mean time, has any of you dealt with this? What did you do when it happens? | aspergers |
At first, I started fearing that my neighbors from the opposite building could see me through my window and think that I'm a weirdo or a pervert. My therapist said that it's just my OCD exaggerating and that I don't have poor insight or reality check and that this can't happen gradually. (Either you have poor insight or don't)
I have now a new immense fear of technology and that a hacker can read my mind through my pc or smartphone with a mind-reading gadget/device after I downloaded a sketchy game.
I think that I understand that it's an irrational thought, but I'm afraid that I will turn into a lunatic. Has any of you developed psychotic symptoms over time? I read that there is a link between OCD and psychosis/schizophrenia. What If I get paranoid and delusional over time? | OCD |
In 2017 I was diagnosed with ADHD and was put on first ritalin and then concerta. I had issues with both of them (predominately aggression and irritability), so ultimately decided to go off it. Since then I have been unmedicated. Since I’m now back in education i’m looking to start medication again. I’ve been looking into Dextroamphetamine quite a bit and was curious to hear people’s experience with it, any side effects or differences in compared to other ADHD medication. | ADHD |
A lot of things remind me of what happened, everyday things. So every time I step foot outside I get triggered. My past history of drugs wouldn't have helped this but here I am. Things r going good but really shitty at the same time. I can't cope with my feelings inside but outside I'm a fighter and I will fight to survive. I just can't seem to piece things together inside so I ignore it. This week is my first proper therapy appointment and I can't wait to get things off my chest. I don't even care if I don't like the therapist, I just need to tell someone EVERYTHING. It's all bottled up and its killing me. So this will be good. But still I cannot control how I react to my triggers and the scenes in my head keep repeating and repeating and I zone out and come back and forget what I was doing. I feel fucked up | ptsd |
The first time I had depression was last year during a really intense school period. I was starting to sleep worse than I usually did and my mood started to change a bit. I didn’t really notice that at the time tho. Suddenly I started to cry more easily and I was shocked when i started to cry for no reason at all. I remember I came home from the gym that day and was about to take a shower. My brother was in his room talking on the phone and just hearing him triggered me for some reason and I couldn’t stop crying for like 10 Minutes. This need to cry started to come more frequently after that and even during class now. I would suppress it as bad as I could and would secretly cry in toilet stalls during lunch breaks because I didn’t want my friends to know. I was embarrassed of myself and didn’t know what was wrong with me since I like to believe that I’m a tuff person. It didn’t take long where I reached the point to where I couldn’t even force myself to laugh and had this empty grey feeling in me. I thought I was broken like my life batteries where all used up. Never was I suicidal tho I just didn’t know what to do with myself and nothing made me enjoy life during that time. I was diagnosed with depression and put on antidepressants. That was my first time going to a therapist and he didn’t notice the adhd since the Bad focus is also a depression Symptom. I went on antidepressants for like 3 months or so and stopped the usage because I thought I didn’t need it anymore since my mood was back to normal. However this year I fell back into that whole. Not as intense as last time tho. My doctor also finally diagnosed adhd witch was such a relief. Allot of things make sense now and I am Sure that adhd was a strong cause for depression. I haven’t been on antidepressants since starting adhd medication it didn’t improve my symptoms so far and worsened my sleep so let’s see how this will go. | ADHD |
I went down another anxiety fueled "am I trans" research spiral and came across a thread comparing tOCD to gender dysphoria. it said tOCD isn't real. and to top it all off, it called people who claim tOCD to be a real thing transphobic! I feel like I can't breathe. I don't know what to do. | OCD |
so i have done some research and i don't know whether i have pocd or its just denial and its freaking me out and i quiver in fear it leads to shaking anxiety a pouring of thoughts. with never ending intrusive thoughts. like 'what if i like children' or doing groinal checks if i see anything associated with children. even writing this down i don't know if I'm being truthful i just want help before i lose it i try to convince myself tell myself im not being stupid but it doesn't do anything. please don't poke fun I'm sorry. | OCD |
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