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I was diagnosed about a year and a half ago and sometimes i doubt the diagnosis due to my previous mental health ones. I don't stim enough and I recently have been depressed and not very "special interesty". But eg last night I was speaking on the phone to my mother and rocking from happiness the whole time. I remembered I used to do this all the time.
Is stimming less as an adult normal? Even neurotypicals stim though
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aspergers
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How do you know if you have ptsd and not just overwhelming anxiety? I’m really just starting to pay attention to everything going on in my head as it’s been a scary place for awhile and finally it shook me so hard I had to listen to it. It’s been a really rough year, my father took his life last year and I really thought I was processing everything but I think I’m only really starting to. I walked into my mom doing CPR on him, I dont have flash backs or think of the day often but the anxiety is fucking real. It’s really hard to explain to people that aren’t in my body and head what goes on and how ridiculous and emotional my actions might seem.. I thought this might be the place to get some answers. I’m sorry if it’s not I really dont mean to offend anyone if this is the wrong place.
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ptsd
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I’m 19 with OCD and I always feel like somebody is watching me or is judging everything I do, even though nobody is around me. I’m highly critical of myself and the things I do, even though it’s difficult to control my actions and obsessions. I’m highly self-conscious and critical about my appearance, and I don’t want other people to see me as unattractive, incompetent, or inadequate in any way. I’m often indecisive about my actions, and when making a decision, I wonder how it will affect me in a way or how other people will see me. I’m very sensitive, and I don’t like to be rushed or yelled at into doing something I don’t want to do.
Even when I’m all alone, I feel like somebody is watching me and everything I do, and is judging the things I do. I always cover the camera on my phone because I feel like somebody is watching me through there. I’m very private about my obsessions and what is personal to me, and I don’t want people to judge me or make fun of me for it. When I engage in my obsessions every day, I feel like people are judging me or think I’m a sick person for it.
Whenever I make a mistake or an accident, I feel like people are judging me or making fun of me. Whenever my mom yells and gets angry at me, I feel like people are laughing at me or calling me “stupid”. I’m a big procrastinator, and I tend to wait a long time until I complete my assignments/projects. When I’m struggling with my assignments or confused about it, I feel like people are shaming me or calling me “stupid” for it.
I was wondering if anyone else feels this way or goes through this on a daily basis.
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OCD
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Hey folks. I have a real issue with noise sensitivity. Before my diagnosis I just assumed everyone was the same but seems not! The slightest noise can feel like a nuclear bomb going off and when I'm overwhelmed it can be so bad as to be almost physically painful, triggering meltdowns. I can be woken by the slightest sound, or the barely audible bass several flats over can feel like a tsunami of sound (my autistic housemate who has really bad noise sensitivty herself is impervious to this particular noise so I know I've got it bad!)
I've been trying to find some good ear plugs that I can pop in to help. There are so many to chose from and experience tells me quality can vary greatly.
I'm UK based and will be ordering on line, though if there's a chain retailer that could work too. Can also in theory be a US based seller as my in-laws are in NY state and can ship them with their regular packages for my wife.
Basically I'm looking for recommendations. Something comfy for sleeping. Though I don't want to max out a credit card, price isn't too much of a concern when it comes to comfort.
I'm guessing many others here have had similar issues and may have found something that works.
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ADHD
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I had a crush on a girl at this random hobby class I was taking (not in school, I'm like 28). First crush I've had in years and years, and she seemed receptive to me as well. Was trying to figure out a smooth way to approach her, a good moment that didn't feel awkward (Everyone kinda enters and leaves this class quickly at the beginning and end). And literally by the 3rd class some other guy (more attractive, more charismatic) had already made a move somehow, now neither of them come to this stupid fucking class anymore. Its just impossible. Every time I have what looks like a chance at love some other asshole that probably gets no shortage of love and intimacy swoops in like its nothing. I hate fucking doing all these bullshit activities just so they put me in social opportunities, so I can compete with guys for girls. I hate that it's exactly what all the other guys seem to be doing as well and we're just competing viciously under a facade of friendliness and courteousness. Fuck this bullshit. At this point literally everyone is an enemy because everyone will take what I need so dearly from me if they have the chance. And they do it so well. I'm so tired of being alone and thought of as lesser for never having been in a relationship. It feels like life or death for me but to all these other successful guys its just another fuck. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. I get nothing but chronic pain and loneliness out of this life. I'm just slowly approaching suicide and I get to watch everyone else live fantasy lives.
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depression
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I guess I am looking for others that have gone through something similar. I have never really been able to share my story in detail outside of therapy. I often feel that I am very alone in living with the trauma I experienced. People often ask what happened to my daughter. But they can only tolerate listening to the PG version, not the R rated version that plays in my head every day.
TRIGGER WARNING (accident involving child)
Here is my story:
I am a mom of 2 beautiful girls. They were 5 and 8 at the time of the accident in 2016. It was St. Patrick's Day and I had just come home from work. It was a nice spring day and I had all the windows open to let in the fresh air. The girls had spent the afternoon playing outside with the babysitter and had just finished dinner. I still had some phone calls to make for work, so I sent them upstairs to take showers after I hugged them and said hello.
My youngest had been playing in the dirt outside. She left muddy handprints on the banister as she went upstairs. She realized this after she got to the top of the stairs and called out to me to tell me about it. I told her it was ok, that I would clean it up. She told me she loved me and went to get ready for her shower.
My phone call for work took about 10 minutes. It was a somewhat stressful call and it left me a little anxious. I could hear that my youngest daughter was upstairs playing instead of getting in the shower. But I decided to play a little Candy Crush to calm my nerves before I went upstairs.
I could hear my daughter stomping around on the hardwood floors in my bedroom. I then heard what I thought were the beads she was wearing for St. Patrick's Day drop onto the floor. I yelled upstairs for her to stop playing around and get in the shower. I didn't hear anything after that and I assumed that she had made her way into the bathroom.
After about 5-10 minutes, I heard what sounded like a cat in distress coming from the backyard. I thought maybe a neighbor's cat may have gotten stuck in our fence. So, I went outside to check. That's when I found my 5-year-old daughter.
She had fallen from the second story window in my bedroom onto our concrete patio below. She was there laying on her stomach grunting. When I called her name, she tried to lift her head to respond, but she couldn't. Her face was flat against the concrete. My first thought was, "Well it doesn't look like she will be going to school tomorrow".
She kept trying to pick herself up but was unsuccessful. When I got to her side I could see that she had vomited. So, I picked up her head and turned it to the side. I knew enough first aid to not move her, but I wanted to make sure she wouldn't inhale her vomit. When I turned her head, I knew she was aware I was there. But it was clear she could not see me. The look of terror I saw in her eyes is something I will never forget. I put my hand on her back and told her it was going to be ok, but she needed to stay down and stop moving. I'd like to believe she understood me and I was helpful in calming her slightly in the moment. But the truth was she was in and out of consciousness. She was also continuing to vomit and cough up copious amounts of blood to the point it was beginning to pool around her.
I knew I needed help but I didn't want to leave her. I began shouting for my older daughter, hoping she could hear me through an open window. But she was still in the shower. I started yelling for help in hopes that someone would hear me in my neighborhood. But I got no response.
I decided to leave her and miraculously, I found my cell phone right away (I notorious for misplacing my phone around the house). I called 911, explained what happened and gave them my name and address. The operator asked if she was conscious. I said yes. My daughter was still making noises and grunting. The sounds were horrible. I was surprised though when the operator told me she was going to hang up. I guess I expected her to remain on the line with me until help arrived. But she told me that they would be there in a few minutes. She told me to be ready to meet them. I looked at my phone to see the time. I wanted to time how long it took for them to arrive for some reason.
I knew that the paramedics would probably want direct access to the backyard instead of having to go through our house to get to my daughter. I decided to run back inside and see if I could find the key to unlock our backyard gate. We hadn't unlocked the gate since the previous fall and I wasn't sure where the key. But again, miraculously, I found it in the first drawer I looked. After unlocking the gate, I went back to my daughter and stroked her back as she continued to vomit and cough up blood. I was terrified at this point. But I kept reassuring her that it was going to be ok.
It took about 5 minutes for the first fire truck to arrive. They were pretty quick about loading her into the ambulance. I got in with the driver. I left my older daughter with a firefighter who told me he would take her to a neighbor.
In the ambulance, I could hear my daughter continue to grunt. But it was less and less. I kept asking the driver if she was going to be ok. He told me to calm down and scolded me for not having safety bars on my windows. I was able to hold it together. But the whole thing felt surreal. I felt like I was in an alternate reality. I was barefoot and her blood covered my shirt when I arrived at the hospital. I stayed that way until late the next morning when a friend brought some clothes.
My daughter suffered a severe traumatic brain injury with three skull fractures. She fell headfirst and landed on the back of her head. The impact was strong enough that the front of her brain cracked her skull when it hit the inside front of her skull, causing some significant frontal lobe damage. She tore most of the ligaments in her neck. The fall also caused her to break 3 ribs. One punctured her lung. She also had some internal bleeding in her stomach.
Almost 4 years later, and my daughter is doing extremely well. She was very lucky in that from the time she fell until the time she was sedated and treatment was started was less than an hour. The quick interventions prevented her brain from starting to swell significantly, stopped her hemorrhaging, and saved her life. To most, she appears to be a typical 9 year old. She has some fairly significant learning disabilities, some emotional difficulties, and health concerns that we need to monitor.
I wish I could say that this was the only traumatic event she's gone through. But the brain injury left her with epilepsy. Anyone who has witnessed a grand mal seizure understands how frightening they look. The last grand mal seizure lasted over an hour. She stopped breathing in the ambulance. This time I was aware of what could happen and I was terrified I was going to lose her. At the hospital, she was still seizing when they placed her on the ventilator again. Eventually, though, after several doses of Ativan, they managed to get her seizure to stop.
It's been a year since her last seizure. Hopefully, it is her last.
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ptsd
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I don't like the 300 character rule in this sub. I dont have much to say. This para is just for characters blah blah blah blrrr pllrrrr jkdkeb peemp jdkdnje
I am 25 and my life got nowhere. No job, no relationship nothing. I am just an empty bowl of accomplishments. I feel like I have been trapped in a cage and I will stay in this cage forever. If I try to explain my problem to my kin, they give a face of doubt and silence. I had suicidal thoughts today. Do you go through them too, if so how often?
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ADHD
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I take IR adderall, and taking the second dose is really hard, especially when I sometimes struggle to remember when I took the first one. I would like to set a reminder, which is what has been helping me take my anti depressants, but reminders are based on schedules and I don't always take my meds at the same time every day. Like is there an app where I can log when I take my first dose that will send me a notification 4 hours later or something? I wanted to get one of those timer pill bottles but long story short, I feel safer keeping my medication in a locked pill bottle.
TL;DR: Need reminder app that sends you reminders based on intervals of time as opposed to scheduled time
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ADHD
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Out of curiosity has anybody else really enjoyed all the signs in place about covid, eg (arrows to direct foot traffic, stand here floor stickers, enter slash exit doors). And anything else In place that creates a system. On top of that a month or so long quarantine.
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aspergers
|
I’ve posted on here before about my hit & run OCD — so if anyone is struggling with this tonight that’s available.
Today is a step back and forward in my journey with this.
I usually park my car in reverse so that when I pull out of my spot, I can just go forward and not have to worry about backing out. This helps my anxiety immensely and I view it as a positive action I can do to diminish any intrusive thoughts. Today I didn’t park in reverse.
When I was ready to leave, I got in my car and couldn’t put it in reverse to back out of my spot. I was completely paralyzed. I couldn’t move my hands from the steering wheel. I went back inside, cried for about 2 hours, and had my mom back my car out of the spot for me.
But - I. DROVE. HOME.
I drove home. I drove home. There were 3 different times on my 10 minute drive where people were just ~ a little too close to my car for my liking ~ and I hated it. But I got home.
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OCD
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Whenever I start liking someone it completely ruins my everday activities, I am unable to sleep at night, I forget to take my vitamins I sleep till the evening, i only eat junk and My stimming goes completely out of control! And this can just be because I am slightly interested in someone. What can I do combat this besides just never being able to date? and this normal to feel so wired and unable to focus on anything else? thanks
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aspergers
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From puberty onwards the problems started, I had a lot of problems with my personality and because of that I kept silent. The social anxiety intensified and my escape was to play minecraft online. It was my salvation by the end of high school. Despite this while we were confined to the house I constantly looked at the covid cases and whenever they were elevated it was a feeling of relief that I didn't have to deal with reality and the others were in the "shit" too. Anyway now came a tick again to search for the next pandemic. It seems that if there really is a pandemic, it relieves me that everyone is at home. I do not know why... It must be because I have a lot of problems and think I'm unable to solve it.
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aspergers
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Hi everyone so I’m fearing I hurted my boyfriend unfaithfully I’m (21f) and my bf is (20m). I’ve been obsessed that I sent nudes it texted someone inappropriate and don’t remember . Or another example is I’ll find a seductive pic I saved of myself and feared I sent it to someone else and don’t remember .
I used to talk to a lot of people online (games or apps) due to agoraphobia (I never leave the house). I constantly check messages (all the ones I have anyways). And ask people for reassurance .
I will text people from my past to make sure nothing happened etc .. I’m drowning and feel devastated. I love my boyfriend so much , and I’m so scared I have hurted him. I’m seeking a doctor soon!
*I also wanted to say that this has destroyed me to the point where I have trouble eating , sleeping, or anything I have had many migraines . And absolutely hate myself*
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OCD
|
Often times people will ask me about my experience with autistic people and I would tell me about my time as sitting officer in a self advocacy group. Yeah we set up events and did fund raiser. I did location scouting and community outreach. It immediately goes to so you worked for the high functioning guys? You know they work a part time job then go home and you remind them to take their meds and take them to their doctors appointments? I’m like no. We all worked together. We had regular jobs. We take our own meds. We drive. Most of us were college educated. We talk politics. Talked about our credit scores. Yes many of the people who benefited from our events were special needs but he didn’t handle them. That was up to their care providers. I only got my current job because they assumed I had experience being a caregiver for special needs people with autism. I have caregiving experience but never with autism. They went down the basics and then said well you know all about that and I was like no I don’t. Please explain how you want me to handle this specific persons quirks and habits cause people in general are different. Even people in healthcare tend to look at one end of the spectrum and ignore the rest.
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aspergers
|
At the moment, my OCD is very very little right now, what should I do to prepare myself if I see a trigger/ get intrusive thoughts?
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OCD
|
He’s not diagnosed Asperger, however has typical signs, e.g. seems that he cannot understand my emotions when he does something to upset me, exaggerated emotional responses, difficult in making speeches, very limited interests, clumsiness, lack of empathy etc.
Today we were looking at my young lime tree and I showed him 2 small limes growing, he asked only two? I said yes there used to be 7 flowers but all on the same small stem, the stem is too young and too short to hold 7 fruits, it would be great if the flowers were on different stems.
He then asked what do you mean by flowers, do the fruits come from them?
I was simply stunned, couldn’t say anything. He’s educated and got Masters degree, and he doesn’t know that fruits come from flowers?
What’s worse, this is not the first time he shows to me that he doesn’t know about this, I would think this is one of the most basic knowledge to educated people!!This gutted me even more, so I said this is not the first time you ask me this question right? He heard my tone changed and probably saw my facial expressions change, so suddenly got really offended, and said don’t worry about it I don’t wanna talk about it anymore, then walked away.
I felt bad afterwards, he must have felt embarrassed because of my reaction. But I felt quite upset and worried at the same time, I just simply couldn’t foresee that he is so lack of basic common knowledge.
Does this show even more that he may be Asperger? I mean he could tell my mood change, so it means that he could sense my negative feelings about him, which kind of shows that he’s not Asperger? But he probably won’t understand why I reacted like that, coz later he got really annoyed and angry, when I tried to tell him that there’s nothing big and I hope he won’t be too unhappy about me…he also tried to argue that I also don’t know everything, so I don’t have any reason to react like that to him……
Quite confused right now, and I feel it’s getting harder to interact with him, as it’s almost impossible to have normal smooth conversations with him.
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aspergers
|
I find ego to be a tool, just like a hammer, it can be used for building or for destruction.
​
In my point of view, ego is the primary need for respect.
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A bruised ego can lead to building or destruction.
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It can lead to fights for not getting the deserved respect from the outside world,
​
Or,
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It can be a power that drives forward and lead to chase success, in the journey to pursuit of self-respect.
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Originally posted on "Straight A-head, the self-sabotage project"
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A subreddit dedicated to winning the war on self-sabotaging behaviors
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r/self_sabotage
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ADHD
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I constantly obsess over "if things were different back then..." I look at my facebook and I wouldn't know what to say to any of these people. It's not like we were close or anything.
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OCD
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I am interested in differences and similarities between ND/NT love languages. Could you give examples when you felt that the other person cares about you? It can be a friendship, romantic relationship... Thank you!
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aspergers
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I had sex with a female. I used a condom. I had a small tiny cut right around where my belt sits and now I'm freaking out. I went to the ER already and they said no.
Why am I torturing myself?
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OCD
|
I've been struggling with this for about 6 years. Recently things keep coming up and I need to take some kind of step.
In the Airforce I was a lead medic and shift lead for ambulance services and an urgent care overseas. Without going into details I've seen things. I have had depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation since. I find it hard to leave my bed most days and return to it the first chance I get if I do. I was never deployed and find myself justifying that to people, that what I did in the military meant something and that I wasn't just chairforce.
I've sought help before and PTSD was thrown out, but I haven't come to terms with it. I feel guilty even thinking that I could be on the same level as people who do. It's not a badge, but in my head, I hear "You didn't earn PTSD." I feel crazy and childish.
I would just really appreciate some opinions.
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ptsd
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Idk if this my ocd or what but I'm so tired of not being able to eat after a certain time like I keep skipping meals becuase I can't eat breakfast after 930 and I can't eat lunch after 1 or else if feels like my whole day is ruined and I will mess up my appetite but because of that I've only had snacks today because I was busy and I feel like shit ughhhhhhhhhbb
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OCD
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In It’s a Wonderful Life, Mr. Potter doesn’t return the $ in the papers, and because Uncle Billy is so forgetful (and known as such) he, and everyone, blames him, and I break down because the thought of letting down everyone I know in such a monumental way is devastating. I can’t imagine having ADHD back then or before. Bless their souls.
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ADHD
|
This year has been one of the worst in my life. It started with an ankle injury, a tendon tear, that has since progressed to worsen along with other foot problems. There is a possibility that i will never run or dance again. I was already dealing with nerve damage even before this and spent the last 3 years battling with chronic pain.
This devastated me as tennis was my personal obsession and really do love the sport, with my mind on it being 24/7. I also run for managing my mental health, and cannot sit still while thinking. I have to pace around to think (it's my stim). It was my way to stay sane. I am also just so tired of years of dealing with pain.
It didn't help that i do not have a personal support system. My family has constantly gaslit me, so i've stopped talking to them. I miss just running or biking, to clear my head.
Now, having lost what little contact to other people i once had, i haven't physically talked to another human using my own voice for weeks. i don't know what i sound like anymore. Hell, i haven't gotten sunlight in weeks too. It's obviously bad for an aspie and my social skills have regressed immeasurably. Not sure if i can even come back from that too.
Depression was hitting me full time, feeling so helpless and stuck, and some days i was thinking of hanging myself on the door. I was already severely depressed before all this, and i feel like life was only getting worse to tolerate, along with this fucking pandemic where some of my family died, and am still processing the trauma.
My body felt so heavy and felt like i was dragging lead. It really took everything in me to just get out of bed and do basic tasks like taking care of myself, which other people took for granted. But it takes so much when you're severely depressed.
Cannabis did help me though. funny that i'm writing this during 420. I have been a massive stoner in my teens but got tired of it along the way. Started smoking again, just wanting to feel good again, and it did help with managing the chronic pain and anxiety. It also helped alleviate the nausea and discomfort from my medications.
Weed really is therapeutic and healing.
I started to have little windows of feeling better inside, and made me want to take care of myself. And though it felt so heavy and mentally exhausting, i spent the day searching for doctors again, working on getting myself better physically and mentally. I am so exhausted, and was able to sleep only an hour because of anxiety. But i'm trying. mustering what little energy i have to get better. i'm so alone, but it's ok. I'm rooting for myself.
I'm still figuring out how to reach out to friends too. No one messages me or checks up on me, but that's my fault for not being more sociable. i just miss having a conversation.
This was really long, so thanks for reading through all that. I've kept this all in for so long and never told anyone. i'm really struggling, and may not even get better ever, but i'm trying for now.
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aspergers
|
So there are 2 actors that I want to be a fan of but my body and brain keeps trying to make me feel like I hate them. I try to enjoy thier dramas but I keep pausing every 2 minutes (or less) to ruminate.
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OCD
|
I'm desperate for input. So I'm absolutley autistic and very likely have ADD too, but no real diagnosis yet. I have lived on my own for some time, even though I shouldn't really. I have no real grasp on how to be independent. My academic record and my job history are both a joke. I have no friends or acquaintances whatsoever. I can't drive. I have no real interests. I have no skills, no talents, can barely function.
What I'm trying to get help with is to understand my ability ... To just be. I was extremely isolated already as a child and it never stopped becoming a teenager and then adult. I had trouble with literally everything that didn't involve a mind-numbing sedentary activity. There is absolutley some learning disability in me. I'm extremely slow, can't grasp instructions and I fail immediately. I had an awful, patchy, unorganized education in my childhood years that made an irreversible impact on me.
I never learned any real skills or talents at all, even normal everyday life skills. I have issues with the most basic understanding of my world. I can't grasp anything and it's like my mind just shuts off when some task is at hand.
I was very protected growing up and was basically never forced to do anything that was beyond my isolationist ways.
All of this (and more) made a cocktail of an absolute failure of a human being. I have been depressed since as long as I can remember. Hating the world and the people around it. Always uncomfortable, scared, avoidant.
But as I write a question: how much is it just myself that I have to blame and not this "magical" explanation in a diagnosis? I have made choices. Stupid, stupid choices. I never wanted to learn as a child, never as a teenager, never as an adult. I'm pushing all the important things out of the way in a disturbing matter, not even to do anything fun most of the time, I just procrastinate and basically put my fingers into my ears to block out everything I need to do.
So because I am a broken human with no function whatsoever, I realized a couple of weeks ago I need to lower the bar dramatically in my everyday life. But even then I push it away. I'm literally haunted by how my parents raised me. Suffocating me with free choice when I had no ability to handle it, almost no rules, no life lessons, no sit-down-and-talk about the future and CONFRONT me about my inabilites. I might soon be able to finally get myself to therapy about it, but the inability with executive functioning is still there.
I have been lowering the bar further and further to come to the realization that I don't want much in the world and have to accept living in extreme modesty, very likely fully or semi-poverty. Because my inability to function in the world, but still making the now insanely stupid decision to move out and try to live on my own, I still have to be an adult and contintue my wreckage through employment and unemployment - and daily life.
If I choose to sit here and look for answers on Reddit instead of sitting down with the pile of documents that is on my desk that I need to cram into my head every night and day so I won't fuck up even more at my job, then isn't that just pure laziness? I could blame my depressive anxious state right now, the hair is literally falling out of my head and I can't get any sleep, but my ability to sit still and read has become worse and worse over the years. A lot of it stems from my academical failures and so on. But here I am making excuses, I do make an ACTIVE choice, don't I?
Same with learning life-skills. Learning how the computer works. Learn how to do simple fixing instead of just putting duct tape on whatever's broken or needs structure. When I had this same stint last year I tried sowing a little to fix my clothes, and even though I made a little progress, it quickly ran out in the sand again. Is this just entitlement and laziness again? That I'm on some kind of subconscious level still expect my father to do everything for me (which he also will if I don't actively stop him)?
This is very incoherent and rambling, but I'm an utter mess and it's like I have a massive pressure coming down on my head. I'm just desperate to hear someone else.
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aspergers
|
One time I was on a treadmill in the gym and I had to close my eyes for five seconds...obviously I fell off. Everyone looked at me and for some reason I tried to get back on with the treadmill still going at speed and fell straight back off again.
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OCD
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Disclaimer: I am not diagnosed. I am trying to figure out if I have ADHD or something similar so I can both have the relief of knowing so and so that I may pursue professional help. This is mostly just to vent because no one in my life understands me and it hurts so much.
I have not done any work in around the past 4 months. Thats not to say I wasn't struggling before. I couldn't bring myself to do anything back then as well, but the pressure of having a deadline with less than an hour or even a couple minutes could motivate me to turn something in at least. Nowadays, deadlines pass me despite the agonizing pain and self hatred that accompanies me when something doesn't get done. I'm behind in almost all my school subjects by 2 weeks. I'm part of a newsletter but I cant meet deadlines and because of it I'm a liability to a team of responsible people.
I should be in school today. I've missed multiple days recently. It's not a thing that my school accepts, more than a couple missed days in any given class means an immediate F with no room for consideration. Despite that, I just csnt make myself go. Even getting out of bed is hard, let alone showering, brushing my teeth (especially this one and it's gross), skincare, etc. It's better than last year where I missed multiple weeks at a time and had all of my grades for classes (they were horrible anyways cause I didn't turn in anything) forfeited. Even that was better than the year before where I missed nearly an entire semester of school simply wallowing in what I believe is most likely executive dysfunction.
Yes, I want to excel in academics. Yes, I have the capability to do much of the work given to me. No, I will not do the work given to me, even if it only takes 5 minutes of my time. Instead, I will mindlessly scroll social media while extremely stressed and acutely aware of what I should be doing. Or, I will play one of the few games that doesn't require effort from me (osu) to open up, hyperfocus(?) on that for hours at a time while not being able to enjoy the activity at all knowing the repercussions of what I'm doing.
Decision is absolutely paralyzing. What hurts the most is the dissapoinment I cause. Upon my family, upon myself, upon my teachers, upon my friends, but most of all, upon my mother. I have done nothing but dissapoint her. I know I am a leading cause as to why she wants to end her life but can't. I know all she needs me to do is go to school every day and pass the classes, thats all. She just wants me to fulfill my responsibilities. She's a single mom, ever since we were 4, she works 3 jobs to support our family and keep dinner on the table. She's fed up with me now. Everytime I miss a day or she sees my report card, she calls or texts me her utter dissapointment. The worst confrontations are in person, though. I cannot feel anything but shame and guilt. A slight feeling of resentment builds within me as well, despite my understanding that she is asking me to do basic tasks, I would like her to understand my perspective. But I realize it is selfish.
I told her about my suspicions around ADHD recently. She took me to psychiatrist for unrelated sleeping problems, he recognized the possibility but said that I most likely have depression and that may also cause symptoms that could misconstrued as ADHD. He gave me an anti-depressent called Valdoxan and dogmatyl for stomach issues or something of the like. I feel no difference. He also wanted me to fill in a sleep journal on an app for around a week before I was to see him again, but I was only able to do a couple days since I kept either forgetting about it or simply not doing it. I'm seeing him again today. I had to beg my mom not to withdraw me today.
When telling her about my symptoms, she dismissed them all. She's a special Ed teacher so I understand she has experience with children who have these types of problems. I believe that they may present differently in teens and adults, however. I told her that no matter how much I want to do something, I simply cant. I used academics in this example, but (what I assume is) executive dysfunction has affected all facets of my life. To summarize, she essentially said that that was simply a choice I was making, and that I had the energy to play games instead of do work was evidence of such. She also word for word texted me ”If you put your mind to it you can do anything.” Maybe this sounds sweet out of context, but it felt like a knife that just kept digging further and further into my chest.
I'm sorry for this long post, I feel horrible and there aren't people who understand me, I don't want to be withdrawed from my school, I want to be successful and go to Japan and have a life but I cant. Please just tell me something, anything, I need someone to listen to me about these problems for once. I feel like the onky thing anyone's ever done is dismiss me and it feels so horrible. Again and I'm sorry for such a long post I hope this is allowed.
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ADHD
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I don't have the privilege of being able to afford therapy.
I don't have supportive family members who are willing to take the initiative to learn.
I've virtually no friends. Never had a partner.
I am isolated. There is no one, and I mean no one, that I can talk to without feeling I'm burdening or inconveniencing them.
So, naturally, I come to Reddit to vent, and I vent about work. That's predominantly the thing I struggle with the most. It's so lovely when you've Bootlicker Ben telling you, you need to stop blaming everyone; you need to stop being pissy, you just Need A Goal and to Just Go For It.
I hate this bullshit. I hate feeling lazy, albeit knowing that I am. I hate being depressed and struggling with anxiety, and wrestling with the guilt and shame of having job-hopped twenty times. I hate the ideation that comes with these feelings. I hate knowing I need help, and being more than willing to get it, but not being able to access it. I hate having goals I feel I'm too stupid to pursue. I hate wanting to have opportunities I know I can't fund due to finances.
I can't do this. I can't deal with the constant blame and shit people throw at me, calling me lazy, useless, helpless. I can't. I feel so fucking lonely. So shitty. This isn't where I thought I'd be at 12; 9 years later essentially crying myself to sleep every night, living with my mum, and patting myself on the back every time I manage to do laundry.
I have a job now and I cannot fucking stand it, and it's all my fucking fault.
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ADHD
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Hi I was referred to by a mutual on Reddit about this subreddit and just want to share my story. A little backstory, these thoughts have actually been following me for as far back as when I was 3 or 4. I can't access professional help because other than the fact that I honestly don't know where to start, (since apparently disorders are MUCH MUCH harder to diagnose in adults and I'm freshly 18), I have an abusive parent that blames me for my problems that I think are actually rooted from neurodivergence or mental illness. So this is NOT DIAGNOSED and I AM NOT ASKING FOR A DIAGNOSIS don't remove this post pls..
So by the time I was 11 these thoughts have started to get increasingly noticeable to the point where I would perform "rituals" in my mind everyday such as imagining my worst fears and forcing myself to hypothetically confront them and that everything would turn out fine and this continued to me not being able to move stuff or do things without repeating them, if I had a negative thought relating to my anxieties as I did them. And then I was at a sleepover 5 years ago (I was 13) and I saw a guy on Discovery Channel basically do THE EXACT SAME THING that I was doing and at that time I didn't know that you needed to get proper diagnoses from professionals, so I just assumed that I had OCD (I am 99.9% convinced that I do have it though). And at that time I realized it was a mental disorder and it wasn't just some weird "thing" that I had.
Anyway when I spoke to the counsellor at the shitty school I went to at the time, she just dismissed me and literally said "I don't think you have OCD, you just have anxious thoughts". I am really convinced that I do have this disorder and I know I'm gonna get bashed for "self diagnosing" or assuming that I have this but I really don't know what to do. I start uni in two months in a different country so I want to get help there once everything is settled but I don't know what to do about money since the abusive parent is in control of my finances and tuition...I plan to get a job but I honestly don't know what it's actually gonna be like, it is not a solid, fixed idea because, for instance, it could totally drain my energy and I might not have enough time for uni work and I can't risk grades slipping. It's a really really vicious cycle and I know I'm getting off topic but I also want to go to therapy for A LOT of other reasons as well. Anything might help, from people actually diagnosed with OCD giving me tips about how they got diagnosed, medication, anything please......
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OCD
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ok so i am an adult who recently got diagnosed and prescribed adderall. i want to know if anyone else has done something similar to me in their diagnosis journey. i previously illegally used adderall in my high school days at parties and it never worked for me. i feel really bad about doing this because i know abuse of it is what keeps so many people from getting the meds they need, but it was also a breakthrough moment for me and made me realize how many adhd symptoms i have. all this to say i feel really guilty and would like to know how other people feel and advice on how i should feel.
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ADHD
|
Hello everyone. I’m new to this and I usually never post on Reddit period. But it has come to this, I suppose.
I am engaged, I love my fiancé, but I am very depressed and “touched out.” I’ve depressed since my junior year of high school but I was mostly functional until my first fiancé broke it off in a really dramatic way a few years ago (I lost my family, friends, support group and nearly my house and savings in that one). And it’s been off and on since but it’s every few months or every other month, it’s like clockwork, I start sinking into it all again. It’s like something little, insignificant probably, strikes a cord at random, and down I go again. This time, my fiancé this past Sunday did something that I had repeatedly asked not to, talked with about, discussed etc, etc. Something that has made me get down and depressed before, too. While that may be my fault to allowing it happen a few times, before it finally got to me again. And it was the last straw Sunday, and I went down that nasty spiral. Currently, he constantly wants to touch. I had to talk myself back up into being able to speak again and maintain eye contact with him. But I am not emotionally prepared to touch or be intimate again. If I think about it too hard, I’ll cry. I’ve been crying. I do feel trapped in it all. And I’d bring the whole thing up again, and talk to him about it. But I know it will lead to a fight, and make him sad and I don’t want to bring him down with me. So I guess I’m trying to tackle the depression for the both of us? Plus I’ve spoken with him before about the same exact thing of course, and he just doesn’t really get it. I know it’s probably small in the grand scheme of things, but it affects me. I haven’t been able to 100% deduce why. It makes him upset still that I don’t want to be touched and he doesn’t know why. But I’m trapped between telling him and starting that inevitable fight or keeping it locked up inside. Either way, I’m sinking. (Part of me feels like it should also be obvious to him at this point because I’ve gotten depressed like this after very similar events three separate times before). I know I’ll get over it, like I always do. But I feel terrible right now. I do not want to be trapped in this any longer, but I don’t know where to put the first foot, Y’know? I have control issues, I don’t trust anything other than myself because I know myself. I don’t have anyone else to trust besides my fiancé since everyone, including my own parents, has betrayed my trust. I don’t have friends like that. So all this has brought me here. I’m putting out my stream of consciousness out here on the World Wide Web. At least someone else can know all of my inner turmoil besides just having it all trapped in misfiring neurons…
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depression
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Many of them aren't even things that just Aspergers people have, they are things that literally everyone feels at some point in their lives
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aspergers
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So some people commented on here they flap their arms when in meltdown. I'm just trying to understand do you flap your hands like a bird or what?
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aspergers
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Not sure if it was my upbringing with Narcissistic and abusive parents, but the only group that I really pick up on are people in the sociopath/psychopath/Narcissism region. They mask, but it is very different. Any of yall have similar experiences?
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aspergers
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Usually right after I've sent them, but also later throughout the day or even the next day(s). Anyone else do this? Wondering if this is my ADHD or some other weird part of me.
Typically applies to information rich emails. Not so much with basic communications. Sometimes there is value in making sure I know what/how I communicated etc. But it definitely goes too far when you've re-read the same thing 5+ times. Feels like I'm going after some dopamine hit.
Edit: I am genuinely curious to know if you all think this behavior is an ADHD signature or something else.
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ADHD
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What are some of your favorite books about OCD? About treatement? Thanks.
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OCD
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My partner of 7 years always count things. For example, everytime we get back from an outing she always counts the door locks, shoes on the racks, light switches and so on. It becomes like a ritual where she gets very upset if interrupted, I am genuinely concerned as she don't seem very happy and stressed out when she gets like that and I really hate seeing her like that. Sometimes when we're doing work right next to each other she'd get up and start the counting ritual again, I figure maybe stress might trigger it? But her ritual gets her even more stressed and it makes me really sad to see her like that. Also, she ALWAYS arranges whatever is in her handbag after an outing but hates to take out whatever is in her handbag if that's anything? Her behaviour wasn't so apparent the few years together but I think it has been getting worse lately. I just really want to understand and want to know how I can make things better for her.
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OCD
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Four years ago my family was murdered. My father, was tortured too. I became depressed, withdrawn, anxious, you know, all the common things. The nightmares are the worst, every time I close my eyes I relive the experience of finding their bodies. I thought this was just how grief felt, until a few months ago a friend reached out and encouraged me to see a psychiatrist about a possible PTSD diagnosis. I'm not thrilled about taking medication, but the doctor seems to think that the meds coupled with EMDR and Trauma based CBT will help. I don't know if PTSD is curable, or if this is just how my life will be, but I think I feel optimistic? I don't know. I just wanted to share the news with people who may understand what I'm feeling.
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ptsd
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[Here's last week's thread](https://old.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/qctxqt/hows_your_week_going_so_far_weekly_post_192/)
Suggestions are ALWAYS welcome on how to improve the threads I post at any time. After all, I do this because the community wants these threads to exist, and I take the time out of my day (every Thursday and Saturday) to post the weekly threads, to ensure the community gets what it feels it needs.
**So, continuing with the theme... /r/aspergers, How is your week going so far?** :)
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aspergers
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So, everyone keeps telling me things will get better, stay positive, but the only thought I have and can't get out of my head is how quickly my world would dim after slicing through my vein. What can I do to stop these thoughts?
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depression
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"Jesus Christ, I've been spending how much on takeouts?! I need to go grocery shopping *now*."
Then I did, and it was pretty good. I paid attention the whole time and didn't even wish I was somewhere else.
... Other observations, to reach the 300-chara requirement: Slightly elevated heart rate, but no more than when I've had 2-3 cups of coffee. Decreased Tourette twitching and intrusive thoughts. Feeling of tension, but nothing I'm not used to. A little hot, but that's welcome in October.
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ADHD
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Hi I’m a 15 year old girl from pa, my mom has been abusing / mentally/emotionally/ and sometimes physically. It started out with name calls,telling me she hates me. It continued with her trying to fight me: beat me up she would lock the kitchen so I couldn’t eat, and leave for weeks on weeks on expensive trips while I stayed home starving to feed my little brother. She lied to the police when she kicked me out and had me 302. I was diagnosed with severe depression, adhd and ptsd. I can no longer attend school or get a job atm. Im working on getting my GED now so I can work and find a good place for me and my therapy dog to live.I haven’t been home for 6months. She called off my ebt card, and now I have 4 food stamps and 1 dollar to my name. She had my 20 year old brother find me a month ago and beat me up. Cys can’t help that much because I haven’t been home to receive the abuse anymore. She still continues to do things to hurt me even tho I “exscaped”, I still feel trapped. I’m planning on getting emancipated when I turn 16 in January. Anything will help, I just need somewhere to stay while I work for my ged. (Where I’m at rn she doesn’t approve and is fighting for me to get taken to the system.) how to get away. Anything helps.
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ptsd
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When I used to work with kids, I saw a good handful come through with ADHD symptoms or a diagnosis. Their parents always had the most interesting ways to explain to them what they were dealing with. So I ask you, my fellow ADHD friends, how would you go about explaining ADHD to a child? I feel like it’s hard enough to explain it to adults sometimes
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ADHD
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Hey everyone, currently I’m struggling with what I believe to be HOCD however I am not diagnosed. I know there is definitely something wrong with my mental health and I know that I have some form of anxiety disorder. Last year I woke up during the middle of the night unable to move my arm because i slept on it funny, despite the fact I knew this i became convinced that I had a degenerative disease and it was all i thought about for months. That eventually faded (because i came to accept the idea i was going to die) until recently where I’ve been convinced i’m gay. I also had this weird fixation on a girl I used to date kind of and she was all i thought about for months to a year after we broke up and I couldn’t really figure out why I was so obsessed with her. I also got vivid mental images of beating the shit out
these 2 dudes who are sex predators in my area and although i kind of liked the thought of beating them up those thoughts were very different to the way i’ve thought in the past, i’ve always been more of a pacifist. I have problems with symmetry when I’m stressed like the other day my sister was upset but i couldn’t help but adjust the tongue of her shoe when it was squint. I have to get on and off the bus at specific places and i only wear white shoes. I’ve noticed my thoughts have a cycle like i’ll be anxious about being gay or dying for like 2ish days, horribly depressed for 2 days, I’ll have a day where i’m not really bothered and then a couple of days where everything is good and then it starts again. i should probably go to the doctors instead of turning to reddit but idk it’s just easier i guess…
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OCD
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As the title says. Please share your experiences. Thanks
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OCD
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I’m lonely, I hate every job I ever have because I’m incompetent, I don’t fit in completely anywhere, I have no aims or goals in life, I’m lazy, I’m not interesting, I seem friendly but I’m so awkward, I can’t handle confrontation, I’m a doormat and a people pleaser, I have no self-respect, zero self-confidence, I’m constantly anxious and scared to upset anyone and still somehow manage to fuck up, I embarrass myself all the time, I don’t know how to connect with people, I’ve never had a girlfriend or even came close to a relationship, I’m scared of wasting my life being this way forever and never changing, I don’t know how to change, I don’t even know if I could if I did know, and everyday I stay like this I can see my life passing me by.
And the fucking funny thing is when I was out last weekend a girl I’d never spoken to before told me I am the happiest person she’s ever met. Nobody sees me, and by hiding this from everyone out of fear I can never grow. But who would read the above and want someone like that in their life? I can’t even look at that side of myself for too long and instead I have to pretend it’s not there. But it’s getting harder to do that everyday, and the older I get the worse I get. When I was young I was happy, outgoing, carefree, smart, energetic, I had potential. Sometimes when I’m alone and I can drop the mask I think of that little guy and how he could have turned out and I just want to say sorry to him, from his 23 year old self. I let him down.
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depression
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Do you need to have a place in mind when you ask or do you just ask if she wants to be your girlfriend? I’ve never done this before so I don’t know specifically what to say.
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aspergers
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i’m in my sophomore year now and i just feel stuck. i don’t necessarily want to be in college and i’ve been vocal about that to my parents since junior year of high school. i’m very privileged to be in the situation where they pushed me into college, regardless of my own opinions.
now i’m in a dilemma. i lack social skill and confidence and, here in my 3rd semester, i have yet to make friends or find any reason outside of classes to stay. the classes themselves aren’t compelling enough for me to want to stay either though. i basically feel stuck with two options, sit here and stick it out alone for two more years or drop out and get into the “workforce” immediately, working for whoever the hell will hire me, all while i don’t have the will to even want to survive.
maybe my issue is larger than college in that i just don’t have a reason to wake up as of right now, but i hope i find it.
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depression
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I mean, I'm an adult woman, it seems so stupid to be upset about this, but one of my best friends kind of decided she had enough of me, due to all my "drama" (yeah, PTSD, but thanks).
This sucks because she was one of my best friends. Shit really hit the fan for me PTSD-wise last summer. Before that, we just had so much fun together and could just talk about anything.
I think I just kind of wore her out. I take great pains to not be a bother to anyone, but I have been severely symptomatic. She won't tell me what's up, but she just stopped talking to me and outright ignores me. It just sucks.
It's been a long time since my last friend break up, you know, in middle school ffs. Any advice?
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ptsd
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Can I have trauma from something I caused?
I hurt a friend, emotionally that is. I never meant to, I never realized I was hurting her and she never told me until she was done with it. I feel like I haven’t been the same sense and I just feel so bad seeking professional help for something I caused myself. It’s been years and has not gotten better. Like, she’s hurt worse. I hurt her worse than I am feeling right now. I was manipulative to her, and I never even realized it.
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ptsd
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during the day im good but when night comes, just crying.
in my whole life i just wanted someone to hug.
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depression
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i have hypochondriasis and ocd both, recently came across a google page(cant stop from searching whole day) which told that supressed anger causes cancer. That was enough to trigger my ocd, Iam stuck in a compulsion to express my anger all day due to fear of cancer, butI also feel stuck, that my emotions may cause something or anything, Iam very scared, stuck in compulsions, please help? suggest how i can stop worrying, please. i now have to stay angry all time, or i feel very stuck, please, help i dont know what to 'feel' literally
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OCD
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From my knowledge i’ve been suicidal since i was very very young. like 5. up until recently i haven’t been feeling depressed for about 2 years. in those two years i got into a long term relationship, cancelled my suicide, stopped self harm, suicidal thoughts disappeared. up until recently i feel like because i try so hard to keep friends nobody really wants me around. i feel like i could be making this up so i don’t want to sound crazy, but i feel like half of the time i talk to people they legitimately just reply with “mhmm” “ok” or don’t even respond at all. it’s making me feel like all of this effort in these friendships is pointless and therefor i have no one to relate to. and now i feel lonely again. one bright side that i see will most likely take me out of this is that my girlfriend comes back from vacation in abt 5 days. i miss her she has become my anchor for my feelings and anger. i just needed to vent. thank you for reading. would like input on if i am making up my feelings/worried if i’m seeming like i want attention for this. i think i am having anxiety too. i’m a mess!
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depression
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Hi everyone. Does anyone have recommendations, resources, or perhaps link to a similar post, about somehow summoning the energy, focus, or motivation to exercise when all three are completely gone? Thank you so much and wishing you all the best.
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ptsd
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I ve had pretty bad religious ocd in middle school amd beggining of hs but lately the topic has changed almost completly(thank God cuz that sucked)but something that triggers intrussive thoughts is seeing or listening to stories of disabled people.i become very scared in that moment that any of my current thoughts would put my in an accident like it happened to them so i do little rituals to make sure it wont happen but i find that so offensive?for the disabled community i mean.i basically pity them while i really dont want to because being pitied sucks but if i dont pity them i feel like i ll have the same outcome.like I SHOULD be scared of that if im not scared of it it will happen to me too which is offensive again cause some people see their disability as a blessing and i am really scared of it so idk
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OCD
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ive always had ongoing tics, but these past few days have been like one massive tic attack. im in constant dread and uncomfort. its so hard.
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OCD
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I am begging for any kind of interaction/communication with someone . I'm slowly going crazy here and I don't know what to do anymore . I'm afraid I am going to relapse and hurt myself and i have no one to speak to . Thank you for reading this .
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depression
|
Am I the only one?
I quit every social media besides Reddit, but even on Reddit, I’m sometimes using throwaway accounts because I’m scared someone will find out who I am.
When I used Snapchat, I always had to check if I had posted something to my story or sent something to someone multiple times. I checked and closed the app then I opened the app and repeated the same thing over and over and over again. I did the same with every other social media until I stopped using them unless, for some reason, necessary.
?????????????? :(
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OCD
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I've known for a while that I was in my own echo chamber. I feel sorry for myself and feel like everything's hopeless almost 24/7 and I've been like this going on four years now after losing someone who meant alot to me. I gave up my career....I had burdened my spouse to the point our marriage fell apart and he was suicidal .....I struggle every month because I don't work enough because of this disorder and my BPD.
I went to the bar last night with my bf and when we got home he was really drunk and telling me the hallucinations I see I can control them. That I can fully control this disorder and I was so triggered by it I screamed at him and threw a pillow at him and told him to learn how to shut up when he's drunk among other things and he told me no you aren't listening you have to believe you can control this. You have to believe in yourself.
And it hit me.....I have been living with these disorders since I was 12 and I'm 29 now and up until the age of 25 they didn't effect me I had just lost my confidence in myself and allowed myself to fall in a hole and didn't have the courage to come back out. I have been watching the world move on without me and refusing to heal because I couldn't let go. I refused to let go because of what had been done to me was so cruel and vile I thought if I stayed where I was maybe eventually he would come back or he would be punished and I wanted to believe that pain meant something and it was all I had left of this person. I couldn't let go of someone I loved so I held onto the pain they left me with and destroyed myself with it because it was all I had left....
I can't believe it took me four years to realize it.
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ptsd
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I have been with multiple counselors and they could help me with adjusting the medication and gave me some tips on how to manage the symptoms but that never really helped me to manage the chaos I had in my personal life due to adhd. Would it be a good idea to go to a coach instead? Because I don’t think the medication really helped me that much tbh and maybe a coach can focus more on how to improve organization, learning techniques and so on.
What do you guys think?
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ADHD
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Currently waiting on a psychiatric diagnosis after being referred by a psychologist who said he’s 100% sure I have ADHD-Pi. I’m quite excited by the whole thing but it also seems sooo far away as I can’t get an appointment until the end of January. I’d love to hear some before and after medication stories that encapsulate the feeling of medication working and how it changed your life.
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ADHD
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i was trying to think of stuff my bf and i could do to get away from the noise. I came up with going to a movie theatre but that only takes up about 2hrs..any suggestions?
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ptsd
|
I have OCD (I check things repeatedly, wash, clutter, and have issues with the order of actions). Most of my symptoms do better with meds for the most part but I am having a very hard time not making clutter everywhere in my home environment. There are piles of things everywhere in every room, no counter space, and walking through my apartment is like navigating an obstacle course. It's almost getting uninhabitable and my partner is fed up. I try to clean the messes I make but I will just make everything cluttered again with two days. I briefly had a therapist and her therapy for this was telling me to throw the mail I didn't need away. I'm sorry if this post doesn't belong here. I know hoarding disorder is a subset of OCD and I'm hoping maybe some of you have a similar experience. What have you found helpful for dealing with this?
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OCD
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I’ve been dealing with depression on and off for over a decade now and I’m honestly not really sure how I’ve made it this long. For the majority of it I genuinely just wanted to die, but now I just wish I could be alright and have a “normal” life. Now I feel like I’m so far behind everybody my age because during the time period when I wanted to die I wouldn’t do anything productive with myself because well, I didn’t expect to live very long. I turned to hard drugs by the time I was 13 because I couldn’t stand reality, initially the reason I quit was because it hurt the people who love me to see me like that and I care about them more than myself. That’s probably the only thing that kept me from offing myself, is that it would hurt others. Now I just feel like a burnt out loser. Everybody thinks I party and have fun all the time when really I’m miserable and still try to numb myself with alcohol and marijuana. I want to get help but I don’t know where to start. I’m not even sure I could afford it, I can’t hold a job because at a point the depression gets so bad I can’t even bring myself to get out of bed. Then I feel even worse because I disappointed myself yet again. It all feels so hopeless, like I’ll never just be alright. Sorry to rant, I just needed to get this out. Tired of talking to family and friends who don’t get it, felt like maybe someone here could understand or relate
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depression
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TLDR: how to navigate government assistance programs and school, is there anywhere that explains this stuff in depth, all this stuff is complicated vauge and idk how to calculate my household income when I'm put as a dependant college student with no job or income besides Pell grant and money from covid stuff like stim checks and covid relief grants for college students, and I really hate phone calls, all of these government assistance programs list autism as a qualifying disability, but only give a vauge explanation of who would qualify, so I have no clue on wether I qualify, I have autism but am I disabled enough? I have no clue since they are so vauge
Hello, can anyone please help me understand how to navigate this government stuff, any adult aspies out there that have learned how this stuff works? I live in Florida, 21 male, in college have not job
I don't understand how insurance works, and I want to look into living in a group home that helps you with college. I'm prtty high functioning and NT passing, I wasn't even diagnosed until December of 2020 when I was 20 years old, I was just labeled gifted in like 3rd grade after taking this gifted test because I wasn't doing my work in my math class because I was too bored since it was so easy, so I was tested for gifted and scored high enough to qualify, and in middle school I thought I had ADHD and begged my mom to get me tested and after a couple years of begging she finally asked my insurance for a place that they cover that can get me tested, but the place that tested me said I didn't have it, I didn't think the place was right for a handful of reasons but I was only in middle school I didn't know that places could be wrong and you should get a second opinion, so instead I just had to accept and believe they were right and I had just made up my issues in my head as an excuse for me being lazy
I say that to hopefully convey that I'm on the "high end/mild" end of the spectrum, so I don't know what government stuff I should hope to qualify for. I feel guilty for even concidering if I would be allowed to get anything, because most stuff sais you need to be disabled, completely and permantly disabled, unable to work because of your disability ect. . But My therapist said that I shouldn't feel bad for using any resources that I can just because I'm high functioning
The things that I have been trying to figure out and find out if I could qualify for are, medicaid, medicare, SSI, food stamps, these like government voucher programs for housing and stuff, and I want to find a group home for nurodiverse college students and a government program that can help pay for or completely pay for it I don't want to be apart of all these things because I'm sure I don't qualify for alot of them, but I don't know how to find out what I do qualify for.
I'm currently on my dad's insurance he gets from his work at Disney, called Cigna, and I don't understand it from what I can tell it sucks so much and is pointless, I have this super high deductible and they don't pay for anything until I reach the dedcutible, and that's like ,5 or 6k so I'll never reach it, and I have to pay alot of money for my Adderall, it ended up being cheaper to just use goodrx for my medication
So would it be better to apply for Medicaid/Medicare?
Also my mom has been putting me as a dependant on her taxes, but is this screwing me she sais it isn't but idk, I don't have a job and I'm just living off the Pell grant money I get from school, so I think my income should be below poverty level, but If I have to count my mom in my household income then I wouldn't be. Idk if being a dependent of herss is screwing me because if that, I live at my mom's house and my mom pays for my phone bill and utilities/internet. But she doesn't live at the house anymore she left like 2 or 3 years ago to live with her fiance. and I pay for everything else I use, like food and and items and stuff, and don't have a car I just walk everywhere or use the public bus.
My therapist brought up the group home thing as a possibility we may want to explore she said she would need to look into it and see if there was any programs, and then the next session I said I had looked but could only find ones that cost like 20-40k a year, I can't afford that, and she said that that's where we would ask my insurance about it and stuff and they would pay for it, I'm not rly sure exactly what she said, and idk how to get insurance to pay for something like that.
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aspergers
|
Okay so have you ever gotten to the drive through window and just been stuck daydreaming for a minute or two?
Then have you ever given them your card and sat there wondering why it’s taking so long?
Have you then taken your card back from them, smile and say thank you, then promptly drive away?
If you said yes to all 3, congratulation, you too may have ADHD.
But wait there’s more…
If you have ever done all of the above, have you then panicked and driven away without your drinks because going back around would take too long and be humiliating and going in would be a nightmare, and as you drive away you begin to sweat and feel sick, with your heart racing?
You might have anxiety.
TL;DR
I have adhd so I spaced and drove off without my drinks. Also have anxiety which kept me from fixing the issue by going in.
This is how I started *my* day, hbu?
|
ADHD
|
A few months ago I joined a Dutch autism group on Facebook. It seems there is a lot of empasism on transgenderism or gender neutrality. Have I missed something or is this really common among aspies (like 50% +)?
I was not aware if this is that common since I have not read a lot about such topics here on Reddit or other aspie forums.
Maybe I am weird but I don't really feel at home in that group because it seems more related about transgenderism and such in combination with autism, but myself I am married and having two children so I can't really relate being not straight / not feeling right about my gender.
|
aspergers
|
I smoke weed from time to time and it makes my whole experience usually based around obsessions and then doing compulsions. Completely amplifies ocd thoughts for me. I am looking for people with diagnosed ocd that also smoke weed and have similar or opposite experiences.
|
OCD
|
So I see a lot of people talking about them here and ik it's a common trait, but I'm not sure what is really meant by it?
Is it crying and screaming? (Which I don't find myself doing)
Or is it getting very angry, shouting and leaving? (I relate to this one a lot more if it would be counted as a meltdown)
I guess it could be different for every person?
What do your meltdowns look like if you don't mind sharing?
Edit: I'm 17 and used to do the first example a lot when I was younger, I probably still would now but very rarely (I can think of 1 in the last 5 years because of a bad sensory overload?)
|
aspergers
|
yesterday, next to our parking spot, was an empty can of soda on our neighbors parking spot
my mom came over, and instead of picking it up and throwing it away, she picks up the can and repositions the can on the neighbor's parking spot to prevent it from rolling to our spot due to the wind
---
begin sequence:
she comes to the can and repositions it on the spot and puts it down
then she picks it up and repositions it again and puts it down
then she is satisfied and walks away. 10 seconds later, she comes back to pick it up and reposition it and puts it down
she is satisfied with its positioning now. she walks away. 15 seconds later, she comes back to pick it up and reposition it and puts it down
... then she picks it up again and repositions it and puts it down
---
for a grand total of "5 picks it up, repositions it, and puts it down"
5 times. i kid you not
she is not the friendly type who will pick it up for others and throw it away, she is more like the "you did it, you clean it up, dont let it get to me" type of person
what kind of mental disorder is this? ocd, indecisiveness, or something else?
|
OCD
|
Throwing yourself into work? School?
I often find tranquility in meditation, sometimes I can be just sit there for a hour and empty my mind, I know it doesn't help everyone, throwing myself into work doesn't help me as much as I would like it to.
|
OCD
|
It only ever seems that i get worse. Any small improvements are overshadowed by some bigger setback a few days later (Like one step forward, 2 steps back). I was seeing a therapist, but at this point it's been almost a month and 3/4 because my therapist keeps cancelling, so I'm trying to find another one that isn't booked out. And, without a therapist, i cannot find any motivation to do ERP, because it's so much easier to just wash my hands real quick and get back to what i was doing instead of sitting in my room and crying for an hour, and still not being able to touch anything.
On top of that, my hands are constantly dry, cracked and bleeding, and i just wanna wear gloves to hide them, but then i worry I'll look like a weirdo.
My family and friends aren't really helping because they don't understand (EX: saying "just stop washing your hands") and/or they notice one small thing and make fun of me over it (EX: i use a lot of hand sanitizer when I'm not at home, and some of my friends consistently point it out. (Yes, i plan on telling them to shut the fuck up)).
Right now, the only things that bring me any sort of relief/joy are listening to lots of music, playing video games, and hanging out with friends (unless they're being asses), and it slowly feels like those are slipping away from me too.
So, fuck OCD, and fuck all the stupid problems it creates.
Edit: While i only really mentioned contamination OCD, i do also have issues with perfectionism (my work must be perfect or else I'm gonna fail) and some image issues. Contamination is just the worst of my symptoms.
|
OCD
|
Hello. I was recently involved in a car accident that claimed my father’s life. My fiancé was also in the back seat and is in terrible shape, but is recovering now.
We were driving and were struck by a drunk driver. I was right next to him in the passengers seat. I never lost consciousness. I gathered my bearings and realized what had happened. I looked over to my father, and he was bleeding from his mouth. I grabbed him and asked him to respond. He was already gone. He had his heart split by the ribs that had broken and he broke his neck. It was instant. It haunts me. Even writing this is making me feel the same shock I did at the scene.
I kicked open my door, since it was jammed and without even knowing if my legs were broken stepped out of the car and walked over to see if the other driver was okay. He kicked out his windshield and pointed at me and said “what are you doing?”
I assumed he was in shock and told him to sit on the grass and wait for the paramedics. I tried to open the doors on the car I was in, but there was no getting them to budge.
I sat in the grass and waited.
I have flashbacks constantly. The physical pain is almost worse when I think of it.
I haven’t had an appetite since it happened. I have lost almost 10 pounds in the week since.
His bleeding face is flashing constantly in my head. It causes me so much pain. My fiancé was also screaming and moaning in the back seat. The cops say they were folded like an accordion. They had to have back surgery and get rods put in. They are out of ICU now and are stable.
I guess I need to ask for advice on what to do. I imagine this isn’t a unique scenario at all, unfortunately. It makes me sad that so many people have to lose family this way. It is also probably worth noting that my brother also committed suicide earlier this year. That was already weighing on my mind pretty heavy. Thank you for any help. I’m sorry for such a long post.
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ptsd
|
I've tried so hard to find ways to remind myself to do things like journal, be mindful, etc, but nothing has worked. I've tried setting reminders on my phone, downloading task management apps, writing notes to myself, keeping a calendar...nothing sticks. How am I supposed to improve if I can't even do the homework long enough for it to make a difference?
I've read it takes anywhere from 8-12 weeks for new habits to stick. That's so disheartening, because I can't seem to stick to anything for longer than a week these days. I'm just too tired all the time.
My therapist is super nice and keeps pushing me to try again to remember my "baby steps", but I feel like she's beating a dead horse at this point. I feel great after sessions with her, like I'm going to actually make it work this time, but it only lasts about a day before I fall right back into old habits. Rinse, repeat.
Has anyone experienced this struggle to build good habits and come out of it? What did you do? (And thanks for reading!)
|
depression
|
Is false memory a symptom of psychosis or schizophrenia?
|
OCD
|
I spent the last 10 years or so trying to be a good Project Manager but I've been fired / laid off from almost every job - I think it's due to my poor working memory and poor organizational skills.
I recently got a job offer to be a Project Manager and it pays $110,000 - I want this job in order to have a better quality of life and to be able to save more. But I'm scared of screwing up again or getting a poor review. I am wondering if I'd benefit from an Executive Functioning coach.
Another option is to forego the Executive Functioning coach and to take a job that pays about \~$70,000 - it would require a lot less executive functioning skills / use of working memory. I'd be living almost paycheck to paycheck though (I live in NYC). But I'd at least not have to worry about getting a poor review.
Can anyone also share what their experience was like with an Executive Functioning coach as an adult; did it help you significantly at work?
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ADHD
|
TLDR: A colossal post wondering how I can tell my PCP that I need TEVA generics because the Aurobindo 20mg IR has side effects
So I was just diagnosed and prescribed medication for my ADHD around 3 weeks ago. I get it from my Primary Care for the time being until I can get the proper Psych Eval and assigned a psychiatrist that specializes in ADHD. Being diagnosed at 30 felt like a miracle considering I’ve been suspicious I’ve had it my whole life. After years of being told I’m Bipolar1 and trying different medications that messed me up more than helped, I knew I wasn’t bipolar (at all). I eventually started buying 30mg IR TEVA generic off of a friend because I remembered this was the only medication that’s ever made me feel normal. Some describe it as if you have ADHD it can feel like putting on a script for glasses the first time. So I stopped taking Gabapebtin, Zyprexa, every SSRI out there, Clonodine and took to self medicating taking 30mg Adderall IR a day. This was killing my wallet so I needed to do something.
So here I am finally diagnosed (thanks to the help of a great therapist and PC doctor) and now am trying different meds out. I was started on 10mg XR and it did nothing. 20mg XR would work for 3 hours and then go away. So finally I was put on two 20mg IR a day which seems to be my perfect dose and even slightly larger than I took before.
My problem now, and annoyance is that I went to pick up my script and looked at the pill and it was the dreaded orange little U30 pill which I had not known of before. I read the label and saw it was from a company Northstar RX and googled it and found this pill is more commonly known to be from Aurobindo/Aurolife. And that’s when I began to sink into pages and posts ALL OVER the internet bashing and hating on these pills. Ofc there were some they work for and don’t wanna detract from those people that it’s helped. But why is it passed out under three different names? So I tried to brush it off thinking that people may only go online to bash it because if it does work they’d likely not come on to post about how great it is.
So I took the little devil and waited, and suddenly I lost my breath a half hour later. I soon was gasping for air, which subsided after around 10 minutes. Next I went to stand up and I was so lightheaded I almost fell. I could not focus but could feel that I had the energy I’m used to from adderall but none of the therapeutic laid back focus I normally get. I was also super irritable, and after two days I decided I was going to take from my reserve stash of TEVA generic and here I am feeling significantly better writing this post. I only have three left.
So I called my local Walgreens and asked if they stock the TEVA and indeed they do. Now I know I can’t return a script once opened but I have a follow up with my PC on Thursday and I want to bring the Northbarf/Aurobimbo back and say they give me awful side effect and see if she’ll let me get TEVA generics instead. My issue is that I don’t know how to tell her I know the TEVA’s work for me, as I was getting them elsewhere before. I’m afraid of being put on something else when I know the right IR works wonders for me. Any thoughts? Do I just let this month of my life be a struggle or do I tell her I’d like to be written exclusively for TEVA?
|
ADHD
|
Can OCD cause hallucinations? Because it seems as though my intrusive thought demons and monsters etc. are coming to life. And this has been happening for a long time but is this a part of OCD?
|
OCD
|
Hey guys! I'm gonna do a bullet point story because that helps me understand things so it may help you :)
* I am a 22 y/o woman who just discovered she has ADHD a few months back.
* It has been incredibly eye-opening and has helped me unpack and uncover so much about my life and childhood. I could go on so many tangents about "gifted students", familial ADHD, IQ masking symptoms, disproportionate diagnosis based on gender, personality subtypes, etc. because I am a psych major who has become semi-hyper fixated on the ins and outs of ADHD, but that's beside the point.
* Recently I have been spending a good amount of my free time looking at studies on google scholars as well as discovering this lovely community and the hilariously similar experiences we all share.
* During COVID lockdowns, I nannied two little girls and essentially tutored them for about 6 months. One of them seemed to struggle quite a bit with her sight words and could not for the life of her focus long enough for certain tasks. Her energy was abounding and she and I had a great connection over our passion for animals and silliness. I also noticed that she was very easily frustrated, a trait not uncommon in your average 5-year-old, but hers felt different. It felt familiar. She had a frustration and impatience that I have since recognized in myself when I could not understand things right away as a child and led my parents to believe I was a badly behaved child.
* It has been some time since I was working with those girls, but because of this recent fascination with my own diagnosis, I couldn't help but to reflect on my experience with the girl I nannied. Eventually, I thought, why not, and knowing the chances of her mother being receptive were high, I texted her and told her that there could be a potential diagnosis there, but if she was uncomfortable, since she knows her child best, she need not respond.
* She immediately called me and told me right away that her daughter was literally just diagnosed with ADHD in July. She works in sports psychology, so she was very intrigued to hear more about my own experiences and insights, and we chatted for quite a while with me providing tips as well as opinions that she solicited.
* I just thought I'd give you all a bit of credit for being a part of my journey in understanding ADHD. It was an affirming thing for my inner-child to recognize and for my future career in psychology/therapy to comfort in.
|
ADHD
|
I'm glad "fake it til you make it", or positive thinking, or Jesus, or whatever other stupid motivational trash from the Walmart book section was able to help you. That doesn't mean that it is universally applicable, different people have different experiences and challenges they face. Please just save it. Most of us here just want someone to listen without some do-gooder shoehorning advice down our throats. End rant.
|
depression
|
This was a patient's response tonight when I described the frustration patients with BPD feel when their emotional reactions make perfect sense to them but no one else.
The example I used, "My friend didn't text me back for three and a half HOURS, so of course it's because she hates me and now I want to k*ll myself because I'm so humiliated at the thought of ever having been stupid enough to think anyone would want to be friends with me."
My secret? This is how my RSD felt all the time prior to my diagnosis and treatment for ADHD-C and how it still feels sometimes.
We, women with ADHD, are misdiagnosed all the time. Psychiatrists would rather give us almost any label than ADHD, even a personality disorder that's surrounded in (dare I say) more stigma than ADHD.
I was always afraid of being diagnosed with BPD because of the stigma as "impossible to treat", so I studied everything about I could get my hands on and it never fit me. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 30 and C-PTSD at 32. These diagnoses and treatment thereof changed my life, but I've never lost what I learned from my own feelings.
I'm now six months away from graduating with my MSW and ADHD is my area of focus -- as well as BPD and C-PTSD. I have an enormous passion for patients who are struggling with emotional regulation for one reason or another.
This is a ramble, yah, but I just wanted to share that our experiences can and do benefit others. Please don't take this as a "silver lining" or superpower post. Eff that noise. What I'm saying though is that we can be the heroes other people need - even people without ADHD.
I don't love having ADHD. I don't think it's cool and I'd trade it in a second if I could. But I'm glad I was able to connect with this patient tonight.
Love y'all.
|
ADHD
|
Just kill me already, I just want to die, I've been up half the night suffering just wanting to die, I can't take it anymore
|
depression
|
When I touch or wear that piece of cloth, fear comes to that high point that I almost can't do anything. That is the only thing left from OCD for me. I need to deal with it immediately. Things need to be ok for tomorrow/the day after tomorrow. Please, help me with advice.
|
OCD
|
I joined a group recently that I should have avoided, that was litterally posting people claiming to have disorders and calling them liers because they don't match what the people in the group beleive those disorders are meant to look like.
It just got me frustrated because one of the videos is a pretty darn accurate depiction of my experience with stimming. And the entire group dog piled against this individual saying she was faking her autism, that's not how stims work or what stimming looks like, and so on.
It bothers me because I've been made to mask my entire life so now that I'm allowing myself to stim and to ask for accommodations for my sensory issues I look like I'm "faking" too, because it looks sudden. But it's not sudden, it's only just now visible from the outside. For the first time in my life Im not dipping in and out of suicidal depressions because over the last couple of years since I've been diagnosed I've been able to understand autism, and my own needs. And I'm following those needs, rather than the scripts I've been given up to this point.
And now I know that even if I do allow myself to stim, which I motherfreaking will if I'm not in the workplace amd if they aren't too disturbing because noone ever tells NT they aren't allowed to regulate 🙄 but anyways, apparently THAT even looks fake to them. And, for some extra insult, *childish*. I'm a grown woman. My Stims don't make me less than that.
Idk guys I'm just heated. I don't know this girl they posted up, I don't know if she's autistic or not. But I definitely see myself in that vidoe and claiming she's attempting to act like a child, mocking "real" neurodovergents, and so on just hits home too. If you aren't in a group home or constantly hurting yourself woth your stims then you are faking. /S
Oh, and another autistic girl also pointing this out was of course downvoted because F autistic voices when talking about autism. Seems to be a trend. 🤷♀️
|
aspergers
|
Is it common to have terrible grades when yiu have ocd, when i say terrible i mean absoloutley horrendous
|
OCD
|
Has anyone else had fears of someone being able to read your mind/being psychic and being so convinced of this that you’ve avoided that person? does that count as magical thinking ocd or is that paranoia/in the realms of psychosis?
|
OCD
|
When I have a song stuck in my head, I tap it out with my fingers against my thumb, like my fingers are playing piano (pointer finger for lower notes, pinky for higher notes, etc). I know finger tapping is a stim sometimes, but I ONLY do it with music going through my head.
It is a bit relaxing I guess, and I would have to focus a lot to avoid doing it. Like I find myself doing it at work and hope no one notices it.
|
aspergers
|
hi everyone.
i had an adhd referral processed back in august and was told by my gp i would be contacted directly about the results and to call back in 12 weeks if i hadn’t heard back. so an hour ago (about 15 weeks later) i finally called them to chase it up.
turns out they got a letter in early november about my referral (not sure why i didn’t since i was supposed to be contacted directly) and the letter states “it is felt this patient does not meet the criteria to be put forward for assessment or treatment on this occasion”.
i really thought this would be the answer to whatever is going on in my brain, which i especially needed at this time since i’ve started my final year of uni and i’m already feeling overwhelmed by the work, and also my sleep schedule has been absolutely abysmal for the past two months. i haven’t stopped crying since reading it. i don’t know whether it’s because the county i currently live in doesn’t really have much of an adhd service for adults so it can only take a few patients at a time (this is mentioned in the letter) or whether maybe i don’t actually have adhd.
should i seek another opinion or just give up on this?
|
ADHD
|
After over a year of searching, I finally have a therapist. My first appointment is next week, and they want me to talk to a psychiatrist first to see if I need meds. I’m a little scared despite this being all I’ve wanted for so long, because, if they find that I don’t have a mood disorder like I think I do, that’ll mean that I’m just crazy. My mood is so controlling and so much different than other people. Through experiences and conversations, the people around me have all validated my concerns and told me I’m not crazy for thinking I might have a disorder. I’ve even had full on flashbacks that are a clear sign of ptsd. But what if the therapist and psychiatrist don’t find anything? Then I’m just insane. It’s weird to say, but I’m actually terrified there’s nothing wrong with me.
|
ptsd
|
This is a new compulsion-like thing for me and I am wondering if it happens to anyone else. (Sorry if I can’t explain it very well.)
Sometimes when I am performing a simple action like charging my phone, I’ll get a thought telling me that if I do it then something bad will happen to someone else. These thoughts are not new to me, though that doesn’t mean they’re not disturbing, but I’ve started doing this thing where I will cringe or make a face or twitch to push through the action. I’ll also occasionally repeat words or syllables instead or in addition. It’s not always intentional, it’s often habitual.
I feel like this is different from other compulsion-type things that I do because it feels like pushing through the action that I’m trying to perform rather than avoiding it or repeating it until its right. Though sometimes I will have to repeat it to do it right so that I don’t feel guilty or distracted.
Simply put: I cringe in reaction to intrusive thoughts sometimes and I am curious if anyone does the same.
|
OCD
|
Tried to find a similar post before posting but all I've been seeing are posts about how learning to speed read has improved people's focus.
I've been in university/college for six years now and one skill you have to learn (especially in reading-heavy programs) is speed reading or reading in diagonal. It was a great discovery.
Problem is, I'm now literally incapable of reading slowly. This makes me miss important details. I try really hard to read each word one by one but it's like I get bored instantly and am only able to pick up the words that stand out.
I was wondering if anyone experiences something similar? And, of course, if you have anything to suggest?
|
ADHD
|
I’m 26, I’ve never been diagnosed before, wasn’t paying that much attention to my mental health ever. My view on this was to suck it up and not complain. But for recent few years I’ve been trying to learn more about myself and I think I can relate a lot with the symptoms of Aspergers. I know it is irrational to diagnose myself but after researching about ASD, I think finally, for the first time in my life a lot of things make sense.
I went through some therapy sessions and in the beginning my therapist told me that she thinks that I might be on a spectrum, unfortunately there are not a lot of recourses in my country to get a diagnosis and she said they might not even consider that I’m autistic since my traits are very subtle. I’m not sure why but I feel a bit disappointed and discouraged, maybe I was thinking that I might be on a spectrum just because I needed some answers and it is all in my head. Is it possible that I’m just imagining all of this issues that I have to fit into somewhere?
|
aspergers
|
i’m still searching, but so far been unable to acquire an ERP therapist. nOCD is only offered in ontario, and i am in new brunswick.
if anyone knows of online therapist able to serve new brunswick, canada, please let me know!! 🙏🏻
|
OCD
|
[Here's last week's Solitude Project Saturday](https://old.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/p498wx/solitude_project_saturday_what_projects_are_you/)
**So, /r/aspergers, what projects do you have on the go right now? Any ideas on the backburner for one reason or another? Any ideas just in the planning phase?** Even if you are working on them with someone else, they still apply here. If you can mention the interest that you have that relates to the project, that would be great; it may help others.
|
aspergers
|
Do not resist the toughts, let them be there. Embrace them. Do not be afraid of them. Leave the logical reasoning and embrace the madness. Dont be afraid.
Lay down and relax on the water of toughts. They are just toughts. If you relax, you will swim, if you are tense, you will drown. Embrace it, if you practice embracing the toughts, they will loose meaning with time, they will fade away. You will forget them. This skill of embracing is just like any other skill. It can be mastered with time and persistance. Think about it, ofcourse that the toughts are persistant if you give them value. If you accept them, laugh at them, they fade away. Allow yourself to be free. The only way to freedom is accepting. Just know that there is a guy struggling just like you and he loves and supports you even tough he doesnt know you.
That guy is me, and im not the only one.
EDIT: One day after i wrote this, i went back to compulsions (measuring how much i belive in delusions, SchizoOCD here). But now im trying again, to embrace this. Wish me luck!
|
OCD
|
I think I double-dosed on my 60mg of Prozac on accident.
Though I cannot tell if this is just OCD related or if I literally just took it twice. That I am not sure.
Has anyone done anything similar or is on a 120mg dose of Prozac?
|
OCD
|
Other people have the same thoughts I do, thank god I'm not alone. This disorder is fucking debilitating, but I feel so much comfort knowing that many of my experiences are not completely insane. Thank you all for your posts. I know how hard it is to open up. Making these thoughts visible gives them less power, and helps many other people struggling feel like they aren't going mad.
|
OCD
|
I just feel like such a failure and so isolated. My failures financially costed me my relationship, my stress broke down ties with my parents who have been nothing but good to me and instead I step all over them and lash out. They’ve had enough and want me to move out. I have a few friends but all we ever really do is smoke weed together and talk about nothing meaningful. I’ve never felt attached to them that deeply. Everyone I’ve actually loved I’ve disappointed and I’ve realized at 22 I’m just still the same failing joke I was at 16. Nothing ever changes. The only reason I haven’t killed myself is I could never do that to my parents. Instead I just live with writhing guilt and disappointment in myself as a human being until I can finally stop living. Thanks Reddit.
|
depression
|
A close friend of mine is diagnosed with PTSD, Her best friend commited suicide 2 years ago and its probably something related to it . After 2 years , now she went to get professional help but I want to do my part and not let her feel bad about it.
How can I as an individual look after her without hurting her by accident?
Thanks for the help guys.
|
ptsd
|
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