body
stringlengths 51
39.8k
| subreddit
stringclasses 5
values |
|---|---|
Although many of us are familiar (sometimes obsessively) with the fundamentals of OCD, I recognize that there may be a lot of unfamiliar folks. I thought , as a person whose been dealing with it for a couple decades now I might help someone.
**WHY DO I HAVE OCD?**
OCD is thought to be, potentially, both genetic and environmental. There’s no good reason you have it, you just do. Some people have psoriasis, arthritis, IBS… we have OCD. It’s just like any other condition.
**AM I CRAZY?**
No. In fact, a lot of people don’t know this but “mental illnesses” are “physical illnesses” that the cause and mechanisms of which haven’t been found yet. When we fully understand what causes OCD and the science of what it’s doing to your body, it will be treated by a Doctor, like a general practitioner, instead of a psychologist. This is what happened with Alzheimer’s. When your grandparents were kids, Alzheimer’s was treated by therapists. Then they found the cause. Now it’s considered a “physical illness.” Mental illnesses are physical illnesses.
**HOW DID I GET OCD?**
OCD is thought to occur when the amygdala (part of your brain that deals with primitive fear) is over-responsive for some reason. Imagine it’s… inflamed. That could be genetic. It could be stress. But for some reason it’s just sensitive. During a period where it was sensitive, you encountered a stimulus. Your amygdala decided that thing (we’ll say flesh eating bacteria) was an immediate danger to you. So it put a tag on the idea of flesh eating bacteria. Then, whenever that tagged thought was triggered (eg, got your dirt on your hands which may be infected, touched someone with a rash, saw it on TV), your brain saw that tag and panicked. “We’re in danger! Quick! Do something!!” That causes a flood of anxiety as your brain tries to make you protect yourself. It makes you want to DO something to stop the scary fear. So you create “fixes” for the danger. The only problem? The danger isn’t really threatening you. So the fix can’t really work. But because you did something, your brain is satisfied. “Good! We saved ourself!” It then reinforces the tag as “scary - do this fix when it happens to protect ourself.” So you start washing your hands every time you think of flesh eating bacteria. But then, like drugs, your tolerance can grow. You have to wash your hands MORE to prove to your brain you’re safe. You have to avoid dirt all together. You can’t touch people. Otherwise you feel anxious. And every time you do one of these “fixes” you’re telling your brain “yes that thought it worth protecting ourself over. It is an immediate danger.”
**THEN WHAT ARE “OBSESSIONS” and “COMPULSIONS”?**
Obsessions are the “tagged” thoughts — the fear. Compulsions are the fake “fixes” for the fear. Together they feed each other and cycle. You can’t have one survive without the other.
**SO HOW DO I STOP THE CYCLE?**
The best way that psychologists currently know is called ERP, or Exposure and Response Prevention. It’s a type of CBT, or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy — a non-medicine treatment that deals with your thoughts, emotions, and actions. In ERP what you do is you face your fear, but you do NOT do the compulsion. So you go touch dirt but you don’t wash it off. You feel anxious. Your brain is panicking thinking you’re about to get a flesh eating virus. It’s begging you to wash your hands, flooding your body with anxiety to try to get you to just “fix” it. But it’s your job to take control back from you amygdala and say “this is a very unlikely fear. I probably am not going to get this virus. Watch and see.” You then wait it out until your brain realizes “oh, weird? I’m fine! Maybe that tag was misplaced.” You sometimes have to do this a number of times before you brain removes the tag all together.
**IS OCD BAD?**
No, it really isn’t even if it feels bad. Your brain is using a really good protection system that has kept us safe for thousands of years! By flooding your body with anxiety, it makes you dive out of the way of a car, or save a baby that’s crawling in the road. It made our ancestors run from woolly mammoths. It’s just your brain is extra prepared and it’s trying to save you from things that aren’t really an immediate danger.
**IS MY THEME DIFFERENT THAN YOURS?**
Not really, if you have OCD about being a pedophile and all your compulsions are mental it’s still the exact same thing as someone whose OCD is about cancer and their compulsions are all physical. We both have tags on different thoughts and our brains have come up with different ways to “fix” them, but they’re doing the same thing. Tagging and “fixing.” That’s why obsessions can change easily. You’re scared about one thing today, and a new thing next week. It’s the same cycle, just a different tag.
**DOES MEDICINE CURE OCD?**
Yes and no, theoretically. So the medicines used for OCD are intended to treat symptoms more than a root cause. So they are supposed to make you feel less anxious. Doctors don’t know why they work, but for some people they do. But typically they aren’t removing that tag for you—they’re just suppressing that panicking response. So if you stop taking them, there’s a decent chance you’ll get scared again. ERP is intended to stop the cycle. Medicine is intended to make the cycle easier to tolerate. They can be used together for people for whom ERP is too hard to do without help.
**DO I NEED A THERAPIST?**
It’s up to you. It’s okay to have untreated OCD, but if it’s stopping you from living your life to its fullest then I would suggest trying to find one. I would look for a therapist who specializes in OCD or ERP specifically. If it’s hard to afford, I would look for hotlines, for group therapy options, or external resources like books. You can treat your own OCD, it can just be very difficult.
**CAN OCD BE CURED?**
I’m sure most people would want me to say “no.” Because you will always have the biology that can “code” for OCD. Your amygdala does tend to be sensitive. You do tend to try to use strategies like compulsions to fix anxiety. It’s just who we are. It’d be like asking “can you cure someone who takes a lot of risks? Who likes sports? Who hates exercising? Who loves junk food?” No. It’s just their personality. But you can learn to manage your OCD so that it doesn’t control you, in the same way someone who loves junk food can choose to eat a clean diet, or someone who hates exercise can start going to the gym. OCD can be something that you forget about.
**WHAT EXTERNAL RESOURCES ARE THERE?:**
*Some books I would personally recommend are:*
[FREEDOM FROM OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER](https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-Personalized/dp/042527389X):
This is a relatively recent self-help book by Jonathan Grayson who is one of the leading OCD psychologists today. He continues to treat people with this method and he famously created the popular group therapy model for OCD.
[BRAIN LOCK](https://www.amazon.com/Brain-Lock-Yourself-Obsessive-Compulsive-Behavior-ebook/dp/B01CY3A8V6/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=brain+lock&qid=1627163096&sr=8-1):
This is another self-help program by Jeffery Schwartz. It’s quite old and doesn’t follow recent research. Some people think it’s bad in that it is a bit different than ERP (it handles compulsions differently). That said, it’s simple and has helped lots of people. So if it works for you? I think it’s fine that it’s different than ERP.
[THE MINDFULNESS WORKBOOK FOR OCD](https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1684035635/ref=mp_s_a_1_2_sspa?dchild=1&keywords=ocd+mindfulness&qid=1627163223&sr=8-2-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExUjJHSklXRkhLWDgyJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMDk4MzUxREw1RzNWWEtEMkEzJmVuY3J5cHRlZEFkSWQ9QTA5NDE1NTUxSEJTMDZMSVhGNlczJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfcGhvbmVfc2VhcmNoX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=):
This is a workbook that you can use alongside treatment and it’s by Jon Herschfield. Mindfulness is another branch of CBT. It utilizes strategies to get you “in the moment” instead of in your head or in your anxieties. Calm you down.
*Some YouTube channels I like -*
[Natasha Daniels](https://youtube.com/c/AnxiousToddlers78): she’s a child psychologist, so a lot of her examples are for kids, but her strategies are really solid and work for adults too.
[Nathan Peterson](https://youtube.com/c/ocdandanxiety): he has his own treatment plan you can buy for like $100 or something. It is also ERP, just guided by videos and worksheets.
[Katie d’Ath](https://youtube.com/c/23katied): she’s back after many years away!
[Mark Freeman](https://youtube.com/c/everybodyhasabrain): not a professional but an amazingly smart person who has OCD and who has found good strategies through his own recovery.
[Ali Greymond](https://youtube.com/c/YOUHAVEOCD): a popular therapist.
[A Video to Help Family and Friends Understand](https://youtu.be/HeYjDbRmAsM): by that therapist, Jonathan Grayson. You can find more of his lectures on that channel, too.
|
OCD
|
i have ptsd and conduct disorder (a disorder similar, but not quite the same to aspd) and this causes issues. a lot of triggers overlap. i run a pretty popular instagram account for infodumps about popular stuff (6k) and of course, this comes with hate. i’m fine with that. this community is pro mental health.... except with disorders they don’t like. too often i’ve stated me repeating myself is a trigger, as is certain names, and then people make me repeat things and get surprised when i lash out in anger, and they’re like “immature child!” or “that was completely unjustified!” and try to hold it against me. like dude you fuckin triggered my shitty mental issues. and i warned you. what’d you expect? anyway tl;dr is that i hate when ppl trigger u on purpose and get mad when u react accordingly
|
ptsd
|
Arrrrgh! I don't know why I can't control my own mouth - it seems like such a simple concept... wait until other person has finished talking, and then you talk... right? So why does my brain feel the need to blurt out what I think the other person is going to say, before they've said it? Or sometimes even coming out with something completely unrelated? How do you stop it?!
It's so annoying and it's causing problems in my relationship. An example would be on Halloween - my boyfriend was telling me something important and my mind started to wander as it always does. I was trying so hard to ignore my (very loud) thoughts so that I could concentrate on his story, but then I suddenly remembered the carved pumpkins that one of our neighbours put out because I thought they were cute. So then, in the middle of his story, without meaning to, I blurted out "Did you see the pumpkins on the way home?!"
Needless to say he wasn't amused. He's kind of used to it now but I wish it didn't have to be this way. I don't mean to be like this and I worry it makes people think I'm rude or that I don't care, but I do... I just can't control myself sometimes.
I'm 27F currently with an 'unofficial' diagnosis of ADHD-PI from my psychotherapist so I can't get meds at the moment. Waiting on a psychiatry appointment to get my official diagnosis &/or medication if necessary.
Not sure what to do in the meantime with these problematic symptoms? :(
|
ADHD
|
Hi everyone,
Really appreciate any advice! Around a year ago I had an experience that caused an acute stress reaction (I think this is sort of short term PTSD). At the same time as this occured I was changing jobs.
A few months later I got a new job, and it sent me into such a debilitating anxiety spiral I had to give up the opportunity. Even when the new job offered a better career, more pay and holiday. It was heartbreaking to give something like that up, particularly after getting through the interview and everything. I tried everything I could to push through but I was physically unable to. It was unlike any kind of normal anxiety.
So somewhere I think my brain linked 'new job' with the original trauma.
The trouble is I'm going to have to change jobs at some point. Might even be forced to by COVID. So I have to learn to face this trigger. However I'm terrified of going back to that crippling anxiety.
If anyone has any advice, anything at all, please let me know. Have you found ways to deal with your triggers?
I have been seeing a therapist and I was previously taking medication, which I came off because I was feeling okay.
The only thing I can think of is that my work was a safe place when I was going through everything, so my brain panics when I went to leave.
Thanks very much for reading in any case. Wishing you all well
|
ptsd
|
I have been dealing with an obsession concerning something very stupid and irrational. And that is a roleplaying scene, where my player character would possibly be humiliated (by being defeated and then imprisoned by a villain, which gave me a fear of imprisonment in media in general). I was roleplaying with a friend and I did not want to do that scene, or do anything from the story afterwards so I told them that I do not want to do it. It honestly made me very uncomfortable to want to do it. My friend agreed that the scene wasn't really well written and was incredibly railroady, but at the same time, I feel very much at fault despite that, and I fear I might have just "tricked him" into thinking that.
What followed was a constant feeling of fear and unpleasant emotions over the fact that I didn't write that scene, thinking that I should be writing it, and that I'm cowardly for not doing so and that my characters are stuck inside this scene or a story that leads to this scene, even though we already moved them to different stories. I kept coming back often to this scene both thought-wise and asking about it my friend, in a very unhealthy manner. The question I have is... what is exactly my obsession here? Is it the fact that I want to avoid writing this scene (I am almost 100% sure that I do not like it for more than just OCD reasons), or that I keep coming back to it? Should I force myself to go through this scene to perhaps calm myself and see that it won't be so scary? Or should I just try and ignore the thoughts telling me to do so? What would be engaging in a ritual? I don't want to force my friend into something he doesn't like, but I fear that this might be the only way to cure myself, even though I don't like it myself. Or perhaps I'm actually engaging in the ritual by trying to do that? I'm scared that whatever I do I'll be just feeding my OCD, and I don't want to do that. I'm completely lost on what I should do. There was another scene, similar to this that also involved imprisonment and it only made me feel more horrible (we both agreed that this one was also badly written), and I really don't know which way to go. I want to get BETTER, not get worse, but I don't know which path to take. Both of those things look ritualistic to me, on one hand it almost seems like I'm avoiding this scene in a paranoid manner, which means that perhaps I should just write it so that I see it's not that bad and bite the bullet, but at the same time I think this also might be a ritual due to how obsessively I keep coming back to that scene and asking my friend on how it would look or what he had in mind. I even tried writing this scene myself several times, and I didn't feel better, I tried to write an opposite scene and it also didn't help. So perhaps me constantly coming back, in fear that if I don't, it will suddenly become "true" is the true obsession.
What should I do reddit? I'm lost, and I can't get in touch with my psychologist due to scheduling issues. Can you help me with this?
|
OCD
|
The main thing for me about ocd and basically life is that you can’t have control of everything I can’t save everyone I can’t make things not happen I can only try to prevent them from happening
|
OCD
|
I recently have developed this mental compulsion of people criticizing me or calling me names for my hobbies (which aren't anything weird tbh but not super typical either; a bit nerdy). I imagine a person criticizing my hobby, calling me nerd, or telling me go get a life, I get angry at the person and try to argue with him in my head why he is such a dick and can't respect my hobby, etc. I get anxious over this imaginary conversation but I get some relieve once I put the person in his place. This conversation goes again and again and creates a circle of obsession and mental compulsion for hours in my head.
I was being mocked for my hobby in highschool a few times in highschool and I couldn't care less. I would respond "okay" and that was it. but it kinda traumatized me I guess and makes me imagine the situation again and again in my head now 4 years later after the incident (the obsession started 2 weeks ago out of the blue), even though I couldn't care less at the time. Like nowadays, the chance of some bully doing making fun of me because of it is like less than 1% as people are busy with their own lives and no one gives a shit like in high school and even if they do my answer would be "okay" and I wouldn't give a shit. but, somehow imagining it in my head makes me filled with anger at the person....
It isn't OCD right? because if I am correct, with OCD the fear is grounded some some stuff that are actually fearsome to the person in the real world too (being a pedo, the spider, going to hell, etc) but for me it isn't the case. the thought is more intense than the actual incidence!
|
OCD
|
I’m 18, No social life, I looked in the mirror and I’m so skinny and ugly , I hate it, I hate it so much I’m so tired of it and much more, I want to live happy but some things I just can’t control
|
depression
|
Here's a bit of a personal ask here, My Autism has effectively destroyed my marriage, anger, fights, too much math, processing so screwed up nothing makes any sense, memory is a mess everything is just a joke that's no longer funny and honestly my wife is better off if I don't interact with her in anyway, just be a silent roommate, how have others dealt with this issue?
I did the whole read the girly stuff and try and it makes no difference as I am a terrible husband....
I asked in another group a while ago and sadly the general replies where along the lines of "Well your just not suited to being a husband" "She's Better off without you" "Move out and just pay the bills" "You're ruining her life with your problems" bit depressing honestly
I "thought" it was fine for a long time, turns out I was epically wrong and the best answer I have is "Have you tried not being you?" so hmmmm
|
aspergers
|
So I think that part of the reason why my relationship isn’t that great with my parents is because of my intrusive thoughts about them. I think I’ve been having intrusive thoughts ever since I was a child but I’m only just realizing what they are and that it’s not a normal thing everyone else feels.
Whenever I think about my parents I always automatically try to stop thinking anything about them at all because if I don’t then I hear things like “imagine if they died. imagine if they’re about to die right now. you haven’t called them or texted them in a couple of days. what if they die because you aren’t a good enough daughter?” So in essence I really try to not think anything about them whether it’s good or bad because I’m afraid that something will happen to them because of me.
Any tips on how to combat this? I want to be closer to my parents and it hurts that I’m the reason for us not being close, because I started to distance myself as a kid as a coping mechanism for these thoughts :(
I’ve been trying to cancel out negative thoughts with positive thoughts but even then I find myself thinking “what if they die because positive thoughts aren’t enough to make up for all the pain you’ve caused”
|
OCD
|
I’ve been in therapy for an emotional trauma that led to me losing my religious beliefs last summer. I’ve been in therapy for nearly a year. Yet, it still hurts as much as it did the day everything happened. Just last night, I had a nightmare where I confronted the person who hurt me (the person that was the catalyst for this loss). It did not end very well.
I woke up feeling like it was once again last year, and it took some time for me to realize that it was not last year. I feel like coping mechanisms do not work for me, and I’m in touch with my therapist about things. I feel as if the events of what happened are played on a feedback loop, and every coping mechanism is just a distraction. I don’t feel as if anything is meaningful, or bringing joy into my life.
I can’t go back and listen to some of my favorite music because it’s associated with that period of time. Certain pictures will reduce me to tears. I know that people say that healing is possible, but I don’t know if I see it.
I feel like I truly lost everything that kept me going.
I’m trying to find new ways of meaning, and I was in a partial mental health hospitalization last November. The partial hospitalization helped, but I still wish I could get over this so I can live my life.
If you’ve read this far, thank you for letting me vent and for listening.
|
ptsd
|
Specifically if you’ve used NAC or insitol. I’ve heard those are both great for ocd and severe anxiety so I want to give it a go. I’ve tried SSRI’s in the past but me personally I’d prefer not being on meds if I don’t have to. (No judgement to those who do take meds. Everyone should do what they can to make themselves happy and healthy!)
|
OCD
|
Excoriation disorder (also referred to as chronic skin-picking or dermatillomania) is a mental illness related **to obsessive-compulsive disorder**. It is characterized by repeated picking at one's own skin which results in skin lesions and causes significant disruption in one's life. For me personally It disrupts my life by making it painful to walk or do tasks. when i skin pick (usually on my feet or fingers) i often bleed and what triggers it, is emotions like stress, anxious, nervous, angry, sad, or bored. Ive been trying to find people like me who also have or had struggled with this. please tell me if anyone is out there and ways to help stop it.
|
OCD
|
Have you ever been struck by a brilliant way to hack your ADHD and solve an on-going problem out of nowhere? It just happened to me and I wanted to share in case it will help someone else. Feel free to comment your lightbulb moments 💡
I have been wanting to sell my couch for a while. It’s only a year old but it’s just too big for my new place (one of those U-shaped sectionals). The problem is, I know I’ll need to steam clean it before I try to sell it because I have 2 small dogs. I keep putting it off, and putting it off, because the stream cleaning is a gateway activity to a whole-house deep clean that I dont ever have enough spoons for. It just hit me today: list the damn couch first because as soon as someone says they’re interested, you’ll have no choice but to steam clean it before they come look at it. Kinda like the whole “invite someone over because it will force you to clean” hack.
Let’s see how long it takes me to follow-through 😅
|
ADHD
|
for 2 days. 2 days i had a break from the worst obsession ive ever had and i finally escaped the delusions and shit and realized that nothing is wrong at all and i literally didnt do anything bad and its just made up but now i got sucked back into it and i wanna fucking cry. its been 3 weeks of this and i cant do it anymore and im so scared that 1. irs true and i did do something bad and just dont remember it 2. im gonna lose the love of my life. i cant stop crying
|
OCD
|
I know if I took this to literally any other sub they'd be like "throw the whole man away next time you clean up," because neurotypicals. He's so loving and treats me like I fart unicorn dust and he is good with my kid, and I love him.
I find myself getting impatient because I manage my ADHD "better," or at least mask it better. It's also worth mentioning that there are other factors like an age gap and different life experiences. The specific point of contention is housework. I give him credit for improvement: I used to do 95% of the cooking but now I only do about 50-60%. He's getting better about doing dishes more often, and yet....
when he does them he just washes the dishes, whereas I wash the dishes and scrub the counters and put away whatever spices and stuff have been left out and take out the trash and sweep the floors. He does NONE of those things unless I explicitly ask him to. I'm the only one who cleans the bathroom. We have four cats and he is responsible for scooping the downstairs boxes while I scoop upstairs, and when my daughter is here he has her do his portion. (Mine's in my room and she isn't allowed in there.) He still doesn't scoop as often as he should, and what prompted me coming here was that I just discovered that he's left a trash bag full of dirty litter sitting next to one of his boxes for what must be months. I didn't find it till now because I avoid the entire lower level of my own house since his shit is everywhere and I don't like being down there. When the boxes don't get scooped his cat pisses in my and my daughter's laundry baskets or my gym bag so it's hard to resist just doing it for him. (Full disclosure: one of the cats I brought to the relationship is an asshole, boyfriend believes she pees on stuff because my cat bullies her and there's a chance he's right at least some of the time.)
I feel like a bad partner, because if one person should be able to understand this it's me. It's SO hard for me to change gears so I really do get it. I'm far from being a neat freak, I leave clothes on the floor and have a hard time keeping my things organized, especially in my own room. I'm not always an easy person to live with. But instead of being sympathetic, I start to feel resentful. I find myself thinking, "If I can clean the house to the bare minimum, why can't he?"
The things that motivate me -- my kid, a feeling of stress and depression when I live in a space that's disgusting, social approbation -- just don't motivate him to clean.
Those of you who have adopted coping strategies to keep the house acceptable: how did you do it? What would be a way your partner/housemate could lovingly apply pressure? My coping strategies don't work for him, but maybe some of yours might. I know he prefers a clean space because a couple times a month he'll declare it to be "cleaning day" and work hard on picking up for a while. I'm not a neat freak by any stretch of the imagination but I can't live like this.
BTW, we have similarly paid jobs and work similar hours, if it matters. My domestic workload has not changed regardless of whether I work 40 hours or 70 so it has nothing to do with any of that.
|
ADHD
|
Hello!
I'm 25 years old, almost 26, and for my 2/3rds of life I've been a massive video gamer. In the past couple of years I'd spend all my waking time on computer almost always. I've sacrificed my friendships, I've lied to family members and so on. Even left my job because I wanted to stay here and do pc.
At the same time- I have no motivation or desire to do anything else. I havs in my plans to start 6 months intensive programming course, but when I want to prepare for it and study on my own, I have loooots of difficulties. I can't focus for more than a couple of minutes. I start fidgeting, checking other tabs, playing other videos.
Recently my experience has been that whatever I plan in regards to stopping video games or doing something outside of it can be impulsively broken. For example-I think that it's for the best for me to study so I'll plan to study tomorrow from 9am, but when I wake up, it seems like I no longer have the intention to do it, the desire is not there thus I don't study.
The worst part is that I know it'd be for the best... But self-control has been a pain in the ass in the past many years.
If I'd be hooked on some activity, I could spend 16 hours a day on it without any breaks, just hyperfocusing, but if it's not something exciting or interesting, I have a very hard time forcing myself to do it.
I care for my self hygiene less, I tidy my room rarely... There are issues with my flat that'd be better to get fixed yet I don't do it.
I make compulsive decisions like... Junk food. I can say today that I'm reducing them and commit to it (because I feel better at that moment) only to find myself next day craving them and caving into those temptations.
Like... I know so much that could be done in order to improve my life and grow as a person, yet, I do almost none of that.
How do I know what is what in this case? Is it just pure addiction to gaming and my brain being rewired because of it to seek only high stimulation activities? Is it adhd? Is it maybe something similar to depression that there's no motivation and desire for almost anything else outside of gaming? Is it just habits? How do we know what is what?
|
ADHD
|
I used to be on Abilify (5 mg) for treating my OCD and anxiety. I used that drug for a long time and it wasn't good for me at all. But my doctor always wanted me to continue taking it and I knew that it would be a trouble for me one day.
Anyways I stopped taking it when I noticed some spasms in my arm because it made me stressed.
And after I stopped the drug, the hell begun. But I decided to go on without using it anymore. It was a big mistake because my brain was getting damaged day by day even if I wasn't sure what I was dealing with.
And after 1.5 years I was left with distorted vision and movement problems. My mind is not working well at all.
I have never felt like this in my life at all. I'm sure that it was the drug and psychiatrists are still claiming that it wasn't related to the drug.
I didn't even know there was something called withdrawal and I simply stopped because I thought I was on low dose.
Now I'm always thinking about maybe just 14 days of tapering would save my life. And just because of that fucking 14 days, maybe i lost my everything forever.
It's impossible for me to deal with this suffering because it's completely unbearable..
I don't know what to do.
|
OCD
|
I know a lot of us here take medications that can have the side effect of suppressing appetite, but we still need to eat so I thought it would be nice to have a thread for us to give our suggestions!
Smoothies or protein shakes are always easiest for me when food sounds gross, and drinking them with a straw also helps! (I got a set of cute glass straws on amazon!) 💗
|
ADHD
|
I know it really depends on person to person but i was thinking, maybe some are better for certain sorts of depression.
I'm 21 years old and i believe i'm transgender. Due to this i've repressed a lot of emotions my entire life and started feeling dissociated from a young age. At first when i was 12, it started with a lot of anxiety. Not being able to breath in fully, thinking i was gonna pass out, scared i'm gonna have a heart attack, ...
Depression and anxiety do run in the family and my dad has had a lot of experience with psychotherapy and anti depressants + xanax. And like him, i don't really have a healthy way of dealing with difficult emotions and just hold them deep inside.
At a certain point in my life when i got a little older and more control i started finding coping mechanisms. It started with gaming a lot and went on to smoking weed everyday. Everytime i stopped smoking weed i got those panic attacks again.
Things progress a little more and in the last couple of years, even though i still smoke i have enough coping mechanisms to not have anxiety because i escape from the world everyday. I watch netflix and sit behind my PC even though i'm in uni. I fail a lot of classes but i'm good at what i do so i kind of manage even though if i don't do something i will fail eventually.
​
The point is, i'm really dissociated and numb. I don't feel much at all and at this point i'm just depressed. I can't take care of myself which i have too because I'm alone most of the time. I can't get out of bed early and miss school by oversleeping. I go to bed at 5am to escape into the night. I smoke weed every evening to escape even more.
​
I feel like i should take an anti depressant that also works for anxiety but i don't feel any anxiety currently because i'm not in the battle of life at the moment.
Any reccomendations or is it just not possible to say?
|
depression
|
Hi everyone. Im a 16 year old girl with diagnosed depression and anxiety, though i think its more bipolar due to my manic episodes. I see a therapist about once a month but I have a hard time opening up to him, i know its stupid but I have a hard time opening up to anyone. I was extremely dumb and took 4 ap classes knowing damn well i am depressed and its hard for me to get out of bed most days. My parents hate eachother, but stay together for my sister and I. The way my dad treats my mom had a direct effect on my mental health but it's not something I can fix, it's their problem. College, my grades, my home life, and loneliness from not letting myself get to close to anyone makes me so upset to the point of suicide. I am on zoloft 50 but when im manic I never want to take it, and now it feels like there is no point in taking it because it won't work. I am talking to this girl but i had a fucked up relationship with a guy much older than me for about a year and a half and its fuckednwith me pretty bad. Cant get too close to her. This all hurts so bad but I feel like part of me doesnt want to die. Im sorry none of this probably makes sense I dont know what to do please dont be mean to me im sensitive any and all advice or anything at all just to know im not alone would make me feel better i feel.
|
depression
|
Hey y’all I am supposed to take take Vyvanse 70 in the morning and Adderall plain 10 at 2 PM . The Vyvanse has gotten to where it raises my BP pretty high but if I just take the Adderall plain 10 mg it doesn’t raise my BP. Has anyone experienced this ? My phyc said she couldn’t give me Adderall plain twice a day bc of the higher addiction rates . I am afraid to tell her what the Vyvanse is doing bc I don’t want her to take all my meds from me ..
|
ADHD
|
I don’t have any friends the one friend that I had moved away to another state we still talk on the phone but as far as hanging out with anyone I don’t have that I had a lot of friends I guess you could call him friends I don’t know I got sober to you’re sober now they stayed doing drugs and other things going back-and-forth to jail I chose not to do that life so I don’t hang out with them anymore I don’t like hanging out with other people or sober that I’ve met because they act like they’re high and mighty and life is just too fucking awesome Idk what to do
The holidays are coming up and I don’t have nobody I can talk to
|
depression
|
Does anyone else think socialising - or even communicating in general - is far easier over the Internet vs in person? For me, it’s like all my social barriers disappear when I’m talking to people online. I wish I could be this chatty in ‘the real world’ but there are so many extra obstacles out there. I actually find socialising online a lot more enjoyable, and I find it easier to be open about my emotions when I’m chatting online to my parents etc
|
aspergers
|
I graduated college with a cybersecurity degree in May, I took some time off after college and I really started job searching about 2 months ago. I fill out job applications fast, then find myself doing absolutely nothing all day, even when I take my ADHD meds. It’s more of a will power issue then a medicine issue. I also have depression and anxiety, and setting around all day on my phone is not helping. Any body that has experienced this or any tips on how to break the cycle?
|
ADHD
|
Hello I’m 28. I think my depression is linked to my sexual history mostly. That being I’m a Virgin and I can’t get an erection. Ive only had 1 gf way back in high school.
I haven’t been suicidal in a very long time luckily, but the way things have been going I’m worried that I’m heading back that direction.
I work as a restaurant server and live paycheck to paycheck and can’t even afford insurance. Let alone therapy. I have very few friends and the number is dropping even more.
Obviously listing my problems won’t solve them. Idk what I can do anymore. I definitely feel helpless. Like nothing will ever change for the better.
|
depression
|
It occurred to me, that autistic people are actually largely locked out of the job market, due to our inability to drive.
We like restrictive, repetitive activities. Thankfully there are still many of these "dumb" jobs. Robots haven't taken over yet.
Great. So wow, look at that truck driver shortage in the UK and Europe. And that's easy. Just become a truck driver. And oh, no, we can't do that, because we can't drive.
Or even, let's do a simple job like delivering the post each day, and ah ,can't drive.
Or ah, let's set up an ice cream truck and just run our own business selling ice cream, and, ah, no. Can't drive.
Or let's even just be a simple security guard where we guard some building or something, and ah, job description says we need a driving license.
OK, let's work in a care home for the elderly, and ah, nope. Wants a driving license!
**Does anyone have any tips for psychological tips for driving a car?**
Does it come down to things like, excessive "checking" behaviour?
Do we need to simply filter the number of inputs that we are "checking" for?
What is going on? Why do we struggle so much with the psychology of driving? And I say, "psychology", because I do believe that it's a psychological state of mind that we are in, as to why we can't drive.
I don't think it's a conspiracy, like, they should make the roads wider, or the driving test easier. There is some psychological state of mind with autism, where we can't drive.
|
aspergers
|
So I grew and still am in an abusive household. My mother’s husband beats her and I have to stand up for her a lot of the times. It gets really bad and stuff. This has been going on since I was little and I’m absolutely sick of it. I feel like everything is just coming down and I’m feeling the effects of it. I feel like the trauma finally hit me after the last time, which was like 4 months ago. I haven’t talked to him since then.
But now my mother says that “oh he’s your father, I forgave him so I don’t know why you can’t let go of it” as if I’m being the one that is irrational. I can’t let go of it, I don’t love him, I hate him so much. My grades have been so crappy lately but my mother says that all of this has nothing to do with this and that I “should get It together”
Am I overreacting? Is it really not as bad as I see it? I don’t know, my whole life has felt like a dream since then. I really can’t with this bs anymore…
|
ptsd
|
Who else, whether it be at work or in school, always feels like they did something wrong in their work have to re trace their steps multiple times in order to convince yourself that you did everything correctly???
|
OCD
|
Probably going to be a rambling post, but...Is this normal? I don’t have very many rituals (though I used to when I was younger...is it possible to “get over” some of these?) and it doesn’t affect my day to day life at the moment, granted, I’m taking meds without which I pretty much can’t eat (long story short one day I couldn’t eat w/o gagging likely from stress since I had my first college exam, and while it would have gone away on its own normally my body/brain/whatever decided to make this permanent...my psychiatrist says the food like becomes an obsession and my body reacting is kind of an instinctive compilation? Idk) and I don’t feel like there’s anything else related to OCD in my life. Everyone I know has said my diagnosis makes a lot of sense, but I don’t think they’re thinking about much beyond stereotypical OCD as I’m a perfectionist in general. Am I suffering from imposter syndrome? Or should I address this with my psychiatrist? Thanks y’all :)
|
OCD
|
my therapist recommend i discuss starting an antidepressant at my psychiatry appointment (which is today). i already take meds for adhd (vyvanse), so i’m worried about taking an antidepressant at the same time. does anyone have experience with taking them or just multiple meds that are similar at the same time? i know it’s different for everyone, but hearing other peoples experiences (good or bad) will help relieve some of my anxiety. all of the experiences i’ve heard of people on antidepressant have been negative, so that also makes me nervous. any advice, tips, experiences, etc, would be greatly appreciated!
|
ADHD
|
Easily at least 73.583% of my issues would be gone and the remainder I’d probably be able to work on more efficiently with the proper funds available. This is doubly true since I doubt I’ll ever be able to work again
|
depression
|
So I think the seasonal depression is finally hitting me. I started taking antidepressants last Tuesday and they work pretty well so far. I take them every morning with my adderall. What’s funny is apparently I was so overtired this morning I kept sleeping in. I woke up, fed my dog, laid down, took him out, laid back down, went on my phone, slept for a few minutes, took my dog back in, laid down and slept a little, took the dog out again, laid down, took him back out, and laid awake for a little bit then slept some more.
I finally got up at around 2ish and am now watching a documentary on the Happy Face Killer, sitting on my bed. I have so much to do: clean my kitchen, clean my bathroom, and organize my room a little. The only thing I’m doing now is my laundry. I know you don’t have to anything *everyday* but I’m the kind of person that wants to.
I’m broke until next week (I always am), I’m not wasting my gas to just drive around a do nothing, especially with no money, plus the weather’s kinda gloomy (it was sunny this morning). I need a shower. I’m not awfully dirty, but I’m definitely in need of a shower lol. I’m just feeling so lazy and restless. I think the seasonal depression is finally hitting me. I’ve been trying to avoid it this whole time by going to the gym and going out but I’m broke and my gym membership is on hold right now because they couldn’t charge me. I’m kind of upset about that because I wanted to go to the gym this weekend. I always feel good when I go to the gym. But I guess I have to wait until next week to be able to pay it.
Another thing I’m trying to do is getting a second job. I have an interview next Friday for a delivery driver and I hope I get it because I sure do need the money. What’s not helping right now is because I finally got out of bed and took my pills at 2ish, so I might not be able to sleep, it’s almost 4:00, and I basically wasted the day and made my work week come sooner. Oh well! Ugh!!!
Edit: Part of my depression *is* because of my messy house. Literally every square inch of my house is messy and needs a deep clean. I live with my mom and she *sometimes* cleans when she has the energy too but she hasn’t in a while. I understand because I’m the same way but I can’t clean this house myself. I organized my room a little yesterday so it’s not that bad, it just needs some touching up, but I don’t know if I’ll have the energy to do more next weekend. Ugh! It sucks living in an endless and constant mess. It’s too bad we can’t solve our problems overnight. What sucks is the best way to keep your house clean or be happy is to keep up with everything and make it a routine. It’s hard to keep up with everything if you’re constantly tired from work and have no energy to begin with. I mean I plan on cleaning my room completely and decorating for Christmas. They say that people who put up Halloween or Christmas decorations are a little happier. I’m the same way, but I also need a cleaner room and house to feel happy. Everywhere I look is cluttered. But it’s just too overwhelming for me to do anything about it.
|
depression
|
I am a newly Computer Science graduate who is looking to going into the workplace as a Software Developer. I'm really excited to finally land a job and get on with my career, but I recently realised that it might not go as smoothly as I thought it would.
I was diagnosed about two years ago, so I have been able to use this to pretty much relieve myself of the burden of blaming myself, etc. - I am happy with my intelligence and I don't care that my grades don't reflect it.
But that aside, for some strange reason I had it in my mind that when I land a job, and I am doing something I enjoy doing, I won't have the worries of having to focus/having to spend time doing that something that I simply cannot sit with and do, if you know what I am trying to say. My whole life I have struggled to focus on important tasks, even when I am enjoying them - why did I think this would change.
Anyway, I am looking for advice from people who *have* experience in the workplace with ADHD. How have you dealt with it? Is there a chance it won't be as much of an issue, as I originally assumed it wouldn't be.
What about any tips you guys might have on handling the workplace and being stuck behind a computer all day?
|
ADHD
|
In the past, I have tried not to tell people about my PTSD, and I don't think that's been a successful strategy. There are a lot of things, when dating, that can trigger me. In the past, I've tried to make excuses or act like nothing is wrong with my erratic behavior, then months later, when I finally tell the person what's up, it's too late and too much damage has been done.
I'm worried I'll scare people away or that it won't seem worth it to date someone with PTSD, especially PTSD related to intimacy. Does anyone have any advice on the best approach?
|
ptsd
|
That's it. I was extremely nervous all the time, but now I just feel extremely relaxed. As anxious as I got at every exposure, I finally did it. The OCD is 99% dead... And that makes me happy.
|
OCD
|
My partner has ptsd.
My partner is currently off work injuried and his ex is being an asshole about his child *legal stuff happening there* .
These two things are taking a HUGE toll on his mental health and I don't know what to do. I'm sitting up at night calming him during his panic attacks. He kicks the bed, punches pillows, tosses around.
I'm trying to keep him busy during the day, but it's limited due to injury. I would love to send him to his dad's but that's 12hrs away and he's got so many appointments for his injury and is possibly having surgery next week.
I'm seriously lost as to how to help him. I'm here 10000000% for him. He won't go to his Dr for it because he wants to focus on his injury, so he'll only talk about things with his psychologist.. but he's had to cancel his appt because of specialist appts, can't get one for 10 days.
He's having panic attacks, he's snappy, he's miserable, he's shut down, eating terribly (Even if I cook good food), he won't go out unless I am going.
Please give me some advice on how else I can help.
|
ptsd
|
WHY? i always loved my brother, and while we do argue, I wouldn't dream of murdering him.
|
OCD
|
Sorry for the strange title, but wasn't sure what to put.
My therapist has recorded me as having PTSD (she said CPTSD but they're not able to record that on their systems) because of CSA, and I completely agree with that assessment and it was very traumatic.
But, something else traumatic happened as an adult and I don't feel traumatised by it, and I don't know why. Or is it maybe that I have just not processed it? Or I can't differentiate this trauma from my other trauma?
About 4 years ago, my Dad who has bipolar 1 was feeling more acutely unwell over a few week period and his GP wasn't taking it seriously (no referral to psychiatric services or appropriate medication prescribed), until on Christmas Eve it came to a head with my Dad having a psychotic episode.
After receiving a strange phonecall from my Mum early Christmas morning asking us to come over, my sister and I drove to our parents house and found my Dad with a screwdriver to my Mum's neck and repeatedly saying "someone is going to die tonight, and it's not going to be me". After ordering me to sit down whilst waving the screwdriver in my face and ordering my sister to lock the front door (she actually left the house and rang an ambulance but my Dad thankfully didn't notice she had left), I was held hostage by my Dad whilst he threatened me and my Mum with a screwdriver and fire poker and repeating that someone is going to die.
The police eventually arrived and got me and my Mum out of the house and had to try and restrain my Dad. We watched a lot of this from outside and could see him throwing the TV at them and throwing them off him, etc. Eventually they did restrain him and he was carried out with his arms and legs bound and a spit hood on. He eventually got to A&E and after lots of negotiating got him into a Psychiatrist Intensive Care Unit where he was looked after and was fine after a few days (he was home and well by NYE).
I can objectively see that it was hugely traumatic and genuinely believe that if my sister hadn't manage to get out and get help that I would probably be dead. But I don't feel traumatised. I'm angry that he was let down by health care professionals (both his GP by not helping him and possibly preventing this and the hospital initially refusing him a bed) but that's it. I feel like I should be traumatised? Or maybe I am and don't realise it?
I love my Dad with all my heart and would definitely be considered a Daddy's girl. I'm not angry at him or blame him, because he is usually the kindest and most mild mannered person you could meet, he was just severely ill. Maybe my mind is actively refusing to be traumatised out of respect to my Dad?
I would appreciate any thoughts.
|
ptsd
|
Okay so this was just a random thought I had yet again as I walked into a wall. I knew the wall was there, I knew I needed to move out of the way but even with me trying all that I still walked into it. (This is a wall in my room so I literally see it every day)
I do this every day. I also smash my knee into the sharp corner of my bed. I know the sharp corner is there, again in my head I try to move away from it, and bam. I walked into the corner again.
Obviously I had to google why is this.
Google brought up a lot of adhd and balance articles so I found that interesting.
Does anybody else struggle with this?
I’ve always been clumsy, walking into things, dropping things etc. Always have bruises I can’t explain but usually from walking into things.
I also know it gets worse when I’m on my period, I knew that was to do with the hormones etc.
|
ADHD
|
So I tired to do all my washing at once in a outside washing machine near me ( I do have one but these ones are bigger and I thought that would get it all done ) no the dryer wasn't working.
So I forgot about half of the loads in the car for over 2 weeks now and no one gets I actually just have forgot and now the clothes are all moldy and I don't think their is any saving them.
I still have a pile of washing too
|
ADHD
|
So I saw this girl while I was walking shes a grade higher than me im 99.9% sure and I know her and when I walked past her I saw that it was a different hairstyle so I was scared that it was some random kid and she was also walking with a girl a grade higher than me and so I went on her insta and facebook to see if shes changed her hair and there I found that she did change her hair and i went to her friends list and likes and comments and etc and its ppl my grade or higher or family members and the likes and comments are like cutie heart heart from girls a grade higher and on her insta its the same hair too and Its the same pants I saw her walk in she posted a pic a week ago with the same pants color I saw today and idk if the shirt was the same and the face shape looked the same so im guessing its the same girl hopefully its not a kid and I know lots of kids younger than me and shes not one of them and shes around the same height as me so I think its the same girl hopefully its not some random kid and that i just found a kid hot fuck sake
|
OCD
|
I was only recently diagnosed with ASD and prior to that I really didn’t know much at all about it, so forgive me if this is a stupid question.
I’m not interested in TV or movies too much but I watch YouTube and I always end up watching the same videos. I love Oversimplified and Sam’o’Nella, and I’ve seen all their videos at least 3 or 4 times. I play them when I’m bored, when I’m doing something else, or just when I want something to watch. I don’t like movies but when I do find one I like I rewatch it several times; sometimes I even start it over right after I finish it.
Is this an autism thing or is it just something I do? And does anyone else do it too?
|
aspergers
|
I’m a 30yo f in the uk and I am a survivor of childhood abuse and neglect at the hands of my mother. (An alcoholic and drug addict who I lived with until I was 14 and had a varying degree of relationship with until 3 years ago.)
She was mentally and physically abusive to myself and my younger brother. She was also abused physically by every man that came into her life. It was an endless life of abuse and sadness. With little food and little warmth.
The past year I have lost three friends one to a freak motorcycle accident. A second to a long battle with cancer and an old teenage friend to suicide. My relationship with my childhood sweetheart, my fiancé of 12 years came to a pretty big end and with that I lost a lot of friends and people I classed as family. Along with my dog that couldn’t come with me.
I was raped last year by someone that knew me and was supposed to be looking after me.
At the beginning of lockdown a number of things fell apart and I had a pretty epic break down and while getting better I lost my grandad and my aunt.
I then had another break down and lost my dream job that had become a nightmare.
I have reached out to my gp an endless amount of times and finally referred myself to healthy minds who have said my needs are too complex but started cbt. I now feel cracked open by the cbt and my enormous wave of crap that I have boxed for a lifetime is all tumbling out and drowning me.
I am developing phobias and having panic attacks daily.
I have looked into complex ptsd and feel this fits me and how I feel but I am not getting any where with doctors.
It feels like the only options private and I just can’t afford it.
I feel totally lost at the point and don’t really know where to turn.
|
ptsd
|
I’ve heard things that sound just like me such as intrusive thoughts of really stuff I’d never do like hurting someone or sexual thoughts, repeated movements (I constantly tap my collarbone) social isolation, scenariosI constantly make lists, eat my food in orders ect. But also some of the big things such has a care for cleanliness, hoarding, impulsivity, nightmares, and that’s about it. I thought hearing from people with it could help, thanks for any and all advice.
|
OCD
|
It’s been so hard for me lately. I cannot go out to see my family on Christmas or Thanksgiving. Christmas is coming up soon, and I refuse to leave the house that day. Everything is a trigger. I live with my boyfriend, and he has his own family obviously. So he’s going to go, I’m going to stay back alone at our apartment. I don’t really have family, I only have two people in my family. I can’t even bring myself to see those two for at least a couple minutes. So I’ll be home alone, like on thanksgiving. I’m better off staying at home alone, but still. The thought is so depressing. I think I’ll just be drunk all day.
|
ptsd
|
It makes me feel better about not wanting to try and be NT anymore, I don't wanna be like them I wanna be my own person and I want to do my own thing
|
aspergers
|
Some of you propably are very familiar with this, you notice a small inefficiency or error in a system that can be easily improved by changing a few minor things, you go to other people to suggest the change and they just say "we wont change it" without even thinking about your idea, or considering its benefits.
you keep then "fighting" with them and they get annoyed at you for daring to challenge them, at one point, when you are lucky, they give in and change it
and suddenly they see the benifits of what you did.
​
​
​
it is a neverending cycle and I really dislike it, why do people have to act like this?
|
aspergers
|
Even my mom is sick of me. My assault happened 7 months ago and no one can understand why I’m still having such a hard time. I don’t know either. When they ask, I just sit there and don’t know what to say. I feel like such a burden to everyone. I guess I just need to do a better job at hiding how bad I am and stop trying to open to and rely on other people.
I wish I had never woken up this morning. I wish I’d never wake up again.
|
ptsd
|
To be straightforward- I’m an alcoholic and I was really struggling last year.
In June 2020 I ran off the road and totaled my car. Since then I’ve had dozens of nightmares about getting into accidents because of my drinking, sometimes two in one night. It gets unbearable at times. Sometimes I can go weeks without one, other times it’s consecutive days.
I had an addiction counselor through my university, but since I’m taking the semester off I can’t meet with her. I guess I just want to get it off my chest.
|
ptsd
|
TW: ( SEXUAL ASSAULT/ FAMILY TRAUMA)
Why is this illness so lonely? Years and years of unlearning bad habits, I’m afraid to express my true self to the people who actually care about me but tell my whole life story to strangers who never cared about me in the first place, never feel “safe”, feel like everyone’s out to get me, and I self sabotage everything around me.
I wish I was never touched
I wish I knew how to talk to people
I wish I could focus
I wish I never had racing thoughts
I wish I had a family that actually cared
I wish one person would understand me
|
ptsd
|
Does anyone have any good info/resources on autistic burnout?
|
aspergers
|
Been having a hard time lately because of a new trauma but my whole body feels so sore, and I have Foggy brain I can barely do anything.
DAE feel that way? What has helped you get out of that state?
|
ptsd
|
My handwashing has gotten so bad with everything going on and I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions on how they keep their hands from cracking or drying out if they also deal with this? :)
|
OCD
|
Hi. I've been diagnosed with ADHD since around 3rd grade I think. I'm almost 19 now. I've been medicated since then, and I was medicated during this story. I didn't do the stuff you're supposed to do to make them work well, though, so they didn't work very well.
I've been reading posts about people being exhausted by social interaction and being excited when people cancel plans, and I had always related but never connected it to this experience until just now.
​
Back when I was 14, there was this girl I talked to a lot online. She was a year younger than me. She was homeschooled, and I didn't do anything outside of school, so we had hours and hours of freetime that we spent talking to each other. We started dating after less than a week of talking (cut us some slack, we were kids). Before her, I never really video called people. I preferred just texting or occasionally calling. But I hardly ever got on camera. Maybe a little self-conscious, like all 14 year olds, but mostly just didn't enjoy the effort.
An important thing to note is that she had a pretty difficult situation with her family and mental health, so I felt like I was compelled to be there for her. If I didn't talk, she would whine and get sad. If I wanted to end the call, she would whine and get sad. My only option was getting her to go to bed. To say our relationship was one-sided and unhealthy would be an understatement. I don't blame her, she was really young, and since I was also really young, I liked the idea of being able to have such a profound impact on somebody.
​
The first issue we ran into was within the first couple weeks of talking. I would ALWAYS multitask when talking to somebody. The idea of giving one person my undivided attention just didn't make sense. So, I would be playing Overwatch while we called. She didn't like that I was distracted and wasn't giving her my full attention (I felt like I was doing a good job, but I probably wasn't). I said I would stop multitasking when we voice called.
Later on, we started video calling, and then she would want to video call every day. Hours of talking, not allowed to engage in anything else if I was bored or understimulated, had to stay on camera which I was still a little uncomfortable with, couldn't leave early or she would get sad. It really sucked. After a couple hours, I would stop actually engaging with her since I was so exhausted. She would notice and was afraid I didn't love her anymore. When we finally stopped talking for the night, I would stay up late trying to regain the lost personal time.
Whenever she wanted to video call (almost every day), I would delay it by saying I had to take a shower first or I wanted to wait until later. I just feel bad for myself back then. I really did love her, but she was never supportive or understanding of my ADHD at all. Whenever I was acting "annoying" she would ask if I was on my meds, and if I wasn't, she would tell me I should be. I wish things could have gone better, but I certainly don't miss the feeling of being trapped in a call with her.
​
Not really looking for support, just want to vent. I'm not particularly upset about it nowadays, but it's something interesting I thought about. I would definitely appreciate hearing people's thoughts or similar experiences in the comments, though!
|
ADHD
|
Okay so I recently just bought a $900 laptop and I opened it up and within the first hour a piece of crumb fell in to the keyboard and I panicked to take it out and broke in half and now it is stuck inside my computer and it is triggering me tf out I want to take it out but i can’t even see it and I can’t think about anything else but to remove the crumb that I think will ruin my expensive computer forever. Do I have OCD or am I yet losing my mind over this small thing😭😭 someone help me I’m not normal
|
OCD
|
I’ve always had the normal population occasional intrusive thoughts such that I’d easily thought stop… quick redirect I was good.
Now I feel it becoming harder to stop - feels like a deep panic and I am literally blowing up outside myself like my energy is too big for me.
I have to stack and restack my books to soothe down. Or stack popsicle/craft sticks because they line up easily.
This compulsion just started and I am looking for a psychologist but I’m not sure what to say - it all seems so sudden and unrelated to anything.
I feel like I’m losing control. Yet like this is too bizarre and I don’t know if I really need help or if they’ll say I’m being silly.
I’m shaking thinking of telling a therapist.
Advice?
Is late onset a thing?
Any of this relatable? Your experience?
|
OCD
|
hi. sorry in advance if this is a confusing post and ends up making no sense but i have to vent. i’m gonna preface this by saying that i have asperger’s and have had that diagnosis since i was 5 or so. although i’ve always gotten speech therapy up till i graduated high school and “mask” my autism well enough to the point that hardly anyone notices it from first glance, it’s been so hard navigating this incredibly social world.
i’m about to start my second semester at a community college today and i feel so so anxious about it. i feel anxious enough thinking about the classes and classwork i’ll have to juggle but also about the whole transfer process to a university. i have a feeling of dread about not being able to transfer next fall to a good university. i can stay another year if i want to to boost my chances but honestly i want to transfer out of my school as soon as possible so i can redeem myself and be on the same level as my classmates that went to university straight out of high school. i had a really rough junior and senior year of high school and stopped outright caring about some classes which caused me to nearly fail so i want to turn this around. ive already applied and i feel so lackluster as a transfer applicant because other than my grades i have nothing going for me. i have no extracurriculars, no life-changing experiences to talk about in essays, no employment, nothing. i get why colleges want you to be involved in extracurriculars — especially internships — because it helps to show that you’re passionate about your major and want to gain experience in the field. but going through the process of getting involved and contacting people makes me nervous
i also have a lot of social anxiety and it’s just. so hard for me to get out of my shell. i feel bland and boring and like outside of school i have no life. i feel like i don’t have a future for myself. i hate that getting somewhere in the world requires so much social interaction and i just want to be as i am but i know if i stay this way i’ll go nowhere...
not to mention i still feel like a child at 18 and nothing like an adult with responsibilities at all. as i’ve already mentioned i have no extracurriculars outside of school — i have no job, no volunteering or internships, and am not involved in any clubs at my school. all i do is play video games to distract myself from life and i know that’s by no means productive. i barely have any friends besides my boyfriend and with COVID it’s so hard to get out and meet people at my school. i feel like a fraud. i feel like i’m never going to graduate university, never going to go to grad school, never going to get anywhere in life because i’m scared of people. i can do just fine in academics even if it’s stressful but i just don’t know how to break myself free and out of my shell. i need help i have an underlying fear that i’ll fail college and amount to nothing because although i do have a major that i like studying i have no specific career in mind. i’m scared to reach out to people and i feel that’ll be my downfall
are any of you aspies that have successfully navigated college? how do you get out of your shell?
|
aspergers
|
I have an appointment set to have an official diagnosis of ADHD but its really far away. Until I get diagnosed, I can't get treatment for it which sucks. I think I got this idea whilst talking to a mental health nurse, since anti depressants and ADHD medication are both stimulants, could I use antidepressants in the mean time to try and treat my symptoms? Has anyone been on antidepressants only and noticed a difference in terms of executive function etc.?
|
ADHD
|
I just got a workbook for PTSD and another one for anxiety. For the first chapter they have me grounding, noticing my 5 senses to help calm my mind down. They keep referring to "thoughts" that I'm having like "today really sucks" etc. Most of my symptoms come at work, just being really stressed out I get irritable. But here's my issue. It's not specific thoughts I'm having. It's when I get stressed or interrupted by coworkers (who sometimes should, sometimes shouldn't be), or work gets busy, we're short staffed at work, etc. I don't have any specific "thoughts" but I feel overwhelmed, stressed, and irritable. I feel a pit in my stomach. This past week was particularly bad and even at night I had a panic attack, had a pit in my stomach. Even the next day, I had a pit in my stomach the whole day. Lately I've been feeling depressed too, like during my time/days off I don't even leave the house, I don't feel like doing anything and still have a pit in my stomach. Is grounding supposed to help this too? Does anyone else have any techniques/quick easy exercises for this? I'm going to start seeing a therapist and psychiatrist soon. I was seeing a therapist but she didn't help much. But in the meantime, I'd like some quick easy tips/exercises like grounding that can help.
Thanks to all of you beautiful souls ❤️
|
ptsd
|
From what I understand in the ADHD world (and some others in general), people generally have a number of niches that they really can hyperfocus on & are motivated by, or are more of an open "jack of all trades" figure.
For example, I've been seeing someone with ADHD who is really challenged by it, but is pursuing a degree that requires a lot of biology & chemistry. Though they are challenged in this, they are able to motivate themselves to spend day in & day out studying and excel.
When I look at myself, I picked HR and the business field because "Well, I like having cash to travel and want to have a family some day. I also really like talking to people when I can be down to earth and just make people feel comfortable." Sometimes Im OK with HR, but other days when there are office politics, lots of paperwork, or just days where I wish I wasn't under flourescent lights I find myself wishing for something more exciting/stimulating. It feels like I'm boring because I work an office job and rely a lot on friends & relationships for fulfillment, rather than a specific hobby.
I have a variety of interests I dabble in such as guitar. going to concerts, fashion/thrifting, plants, and autosports.. But I don't like any of these enough to focus on them a lot because then it just feels like a chore. I wish I was skilled enough at guitar to actually jam with people, but I found that when I tried making myself practice at least 30 mins every day, I grew stagnant with it and lost a propensity to want to learn more. I wonder how much happier I would be if I had a core niche or focus. I really enjoy psychology but I'm not sure I want to sacrifice the 6 years or even if I really would be good as a therapist because I mostly like having in depth conversations with people that I can emotionally bond with.
Has anyone went from not having a niche to finding one? How are you successful while having all of these different things you dabble in?
|
ADHD
|
i’m just sad yk. battling between my overwhelming urge to live and my overwhelming urge to die. i just feel like i’m falling yk. i’m just surviving each day. idk what’s really happening. my life is a mess. i feel like a mess. idk who i am or what’s going on. i’m just so lonely you know. i keep thinking this hope i have the things will get better and i’ll be able to see the light in the world again is so out of reach. that that’s all it is, a hope a dream and not a future reality. this world is scary and ppl are horrible i don’t feel safe here. i just want someone to hold on to you know. i love namjoons songs. i love luna. she’s so pretty. she’s always watching over me. i like that she has craters and is imperfect. it’s like she’s reminding me to stay because it’s okay that i’m not perfect. she’s so bright and warm and i really feel safe no matter where i am if i’m looking at her. the sun is pretty but its too much. too bright. it’s fake and fleeting. goes away and takes its light with it. but the moon is always there. it revolves us it’s impossible for it to leave. i like jins song moon as well that. very beautiful. i’ve missed listening to music. i literally couldn’t listen to their songs for months or any song for that. i’m glad i’m finding my love for bts again. altho it’s still hard to watch their other videos because it just makes me so sad that i don’t have friends like that. but i’m just glad to be falling in love with their music again.
|
depression
|
When I was a kid my dad and brother used to poke me in my sides often, around the area where the kidneys are. They were joking around but it was sometimes painful and I had no control over the situation. I feel like I still suffer from just the memories of this happening because I feel like I can never get completely comfortable or relax, especially if I think about it too much, I tense up and twist/squirm until the feeling gets better. The longer I think about it the worse it gets, making this physically uncomfortable for me to write.
I also sometimes get the same sensation when I imagine myself being pregnant (which I’ve never experienced before) and I’m afraid of how this sensation will affect me if/when I do decide to conceive.
Has anyone else had a similar experience? The time it bothers me most is when my partner cuddles/spoons with me and lays their arm right on top of the same area; I really wish I could relax at moments like that. I don’t even know if it’s possible to desensitize myself to the feeling of something that occurred ~20 years ago (I am in my 30s now). Any advice or words of support would be appreciated, this is the first time I’ve tried putting words to this thing I experience.
|
ptsd
|
I started back in security today after being away from the job for six months. I forgot how godawful boring it is. My job consists of setting at a desk for the better part of 12 hours patrolling the facility semi regularly. As easy of a job as you can get for the money I'm making. But man if my boss wasn't cool with me on my phone every now and then I think I'd go insane. The money I'm making plus guaranteed hours is amazing though.
|
ADHD
|
I have ADHD and take adderall IR in the day time, I have been pretty bad at taking it consistently throughout the work day because my job is very active and I forget. It seems like a waste that I only take it sometimes because it isn’t helping to make a meaningful impact on my life.
I’ve been off work for the holiday and I wanted to see if I can figure out how I actually feel when I take it consistently at the recommended doses for tapering off throughout the day.
I have noticed that some of the symptoms I attributed to the adderall being active in my system are actually side effects of it wearing off because they are only happening later at night now …
Most troublesome is that I become very irritable and have a short fuse.
Since I haven’t been taking it consistently until now, I’m wondering if irritability would eventually improve if I continue to take it regularly.
I currently have been using magnesium drink powder with L-Theanine and occasionally use sleep aids to help fall asleep and relax but these don’t cut the irritability enough.
What have you done to help alleviate the discomfort of stimulant meds wearing off?
Has anyone else had improvement with these side effects after taking meds consistently for awhile?
|
ADHD
|
I’m 21 , I have no money and no real close friends anymore. No one to talk to . I live with the same roommate from my freshman year of college in an apartment. He still attends , i’m currently in online school at the local community college. I’m in debt from school. I leased a used car 2 summers ago with saved money i had (stupid/desperately) and the transmission went out 2 months later and it’s repo’d now because i couldn’t afford to fix or keep it. Me and my roommate were doing contracting jobs this summer. Now that he a loan and doing daily investments, i have to get a job (which i don’t mind) . It has been two months now and no one will hire me . i don’t know how im going to pay rent or even my roommate for spotting me hundreds of dollars on bills. i have terrible credit . Ive been trying to stay positive but it is so hard . i don’t even have enough money to eat everyday or freely go to interviews that don’t run on a bus line . i’m just seeing debt on top of debt piling up and no income .i have been just not even doing my school work online i have been stressing and trying to get a job to pay things. im trying i swear … why do i feel like im so helpless ? am i not capable of creating my life and being a man ? i don’t know what im going to do and it keeps me up at night & low in my mind. Why is life so hard? i’m so stressed when i try to vent to my mom she get agitated and stressed bc it seems i can’t do sh*t for myself. so i stopped venting. i just want to have a better life for myself so that i can help myself , my mother and others . but i have so much weight on me and nothing is seeming to lighten up . What is wrong with me ?
|
depression
|
One of my most vulnerable topics when it comes to the "right" social thing to do is dealing with grief. I feel like everybody who says that "everyone grieves differently and nobody will judge you" is lying.
Two days ago the family dog, with whom I've lived with for 9 years, died. I knew for 2-3 days that he would die and was incredibly sad during those two days and at the day he died but now I'm "back to normal" and I can tell other family members are judging me for it.
|
aspergers
|
TW: drug use, child abuse/neglect
I’ve been speaking with a counselor for about a month now but really don’t feel like my doctor knows me. The reason I’m speaking with him is because a woman my dad used to date and has three kids with used to be a heavy heroin user. She lived with us for about 5 years when I was about the ages of 12-17. I never saw her use, but she turned our house into a hoarders den. She used when she was pregnant and I’ve had to talk with CPS many times. She’s threatened to kidnap my siblings from my dad and move out of state. After my dad made her move out, one of my sisters always came back from her visits there with unexplained injuries. A diaper rash so bad it was bleeding one week, an eye swollen to the size of a golf ball the next (she has a lazy eye from that).
Anyways, my counselor keeps calling this woman my mom, despite me saying she was just my dads girlfriend and isn’t even in the picture anymore. My diagnosis was determined upon my patient intake to be unspecified trauma or stressor disorder, but based on my symptoms, PTSD is more likely. However, the reason my counselor got hung up was because I never directly saw any of the awful things this woman did to my family. I saw the aftermath of it, and as an adult I realize that what I mentioned and much more of what I experienced with her is not only abnormal, but incredibly toxic for a child/teenager to have gone through. My counselor makes it seem like I cannot have PTSD because I didn’t see anything happen, but the way he said it made me feel off, so that is why I come here.
Is why he said true? That I had to witness this woman shoot up heroin while pregnant or punch my baby sister in the face to have PTSD from it? I know I can’t get medical advice on the sub but I want to know if this is normal or if I should find someone else to talk to. So far all the information my counselor has given me is from article he gets off google and reads word for word to me. All he’s said is stuff I learned in my psychology courses and I don’t feel like I’m getting any better. I still look at my sisters faces and see their mom and feel like I’m back in the house we used to live in with her that was filled to the brim with her belongings and I’m so tired of feeling this way.
|
ptsd
|
My wife and I had been married for about four years, when she started acting strangely for months . Lying about where she was. Cleaning the apartment like she never does. She would come home from work much later than expected. Locking the door and closing the blinds when I went to work. It was really hard for me to piece things together. In hindsight, it was due to the heavy amounts of gaslighting I would get from her almost daily.
One day we were eating at a local pub and I’m talking about a couple who were in an open relationship. This suddenly perked her interest and she asked me if I would be into an open relationship. I said I never thought of it. Though after the dinner she brings in up again and we started really talking about it. I asked her if she had anyone in mind and she mentioned my best friend. A little close to home, but I took no offense. The conversation ended that night l, but she would bring it up occasionally over the next few weeks.
Fast forward a few more weekend down the road my best friend was invited over to our place to watch some GOT. After the nights tv watching was through, we went to bed while leaving him on the couch. While in bed she reminds me of the conversation we have been having and that she was having a fantasy of going out there and “just teasing him.” Over the course of a few weeks I had thought about an open marriage, and how it could possibly spark things again without getting emotionally disconnected. So, in the moment, I told her to go for it. I waited awhile a snuck out there to see what was going on. To my surprise they were already having sex and I.... started recording it...
The following night I was feeling really uneasy about what had happened. Aside from my wife having sex with another “man,” somehow something else was not right. I noticed she had locked her phone. Then she said something about my friend that didn’t seem right. Suddenly it hit me that they may have been having an affair before last night even happened. She didn’t think I knew her password, but I did. I took her phone out of her hand and told her “I hope I don’t find anything” while I was walking out the door.
While I was in my car I started to delve through her text messages with him and what I found was horrifying. It happened to be a four month long affair which was uncaring and abusive toward me so she could have more sex with my best friend. For example, she planned to get me really drunk so she could sleep with him when I passed out. Also, on several occasions she had me drive her to a point where she would get picked up by him. It was a horrid disregard for my feelings.
I felt like a loser that consented to her continuing an affair. Not only did I not see all the obvious signs (which were abundantly clear now) I just gave her to him for a night. And recorded it. I was a dirty cuck. I recorded my own wife’s affair.
During the follow weeks, months, year I became hyper vigilant and was obsessed with learning every single detail of the affair. I used a gps unit on the dudes car. My thoughts became repetitive. And for a very long time I was rarely sleeping. After a few months, I was at work and a shovel made a loud noise when it fell behind me. It made my heart race and I shuttered and had to sit down. At that point I didn’t know it was PTSD but I knew something was wrong.
|
ptsd
|
I used to be into gaming mice, Overwatch sensitivity like DPI and in game sensitivity, and PSA method. But now I feel empty. Looking for a new special interest that involves statistics of other people or professionals. I was considering cars and NASCAR, or statistics itself. I don't know what I would want.
|
aspergers
|
(my post was too long so I had to put it into different parts, sorry for the inconvenience)
I'm sorry I can't go into a lot of details with this because this messed up the most. I don't know if I was raped like I said I don't remember properly, but I know I was molested. Forced to do unspeakable acts as a child. I didn't know how to feel or what to do. I would scratch his face and hit him, tell him to stop and I would tell him this is wrong and that my mother tells me it's haram. He would reply by telling me it's ok I'm a little girl and God forgives little girl. To this day I can't listen to anyone tell me God forgives me and it's ok.
Funny enough, outside that room he changed. He would insult me, make fun of me and push me away when I tried to be friends with him just like how my cousin did when I tried to see what videogames he played. So in a way I was manipulated, I would think that is the way to please him and maybe he might like me then but it never stopped. At some point the younger brother (the one who is 3 years older than me), let's call him A, pulled me aside and confronted me about what's happening in the room. I told him nothing, he said "don't lie to me I know what you guys do. If you offer what you have to him then you do it to me too." And so everytime A was under a blanket he would pull me in and kiss me. That's all I remember with him, we'd kiss. I was stuck in this weird scenario, whenever I think back it feels so surreal to me. Both the brothers would insult me outside the darkness. I remember seeing my friend (their sister let's call her Sally) hide with them too and I would wonder if they did it to their sister too. She is very close to them and looks up to them so I don't think so but that's what I thought back at the time. I remember the darkness shifting and taking shapes trying to focus on what it's making out to be so I didn't have to focus. One night, I couldn't take it anymore. I pushed and scratched him and told him I didn't want to do it. He said, in the calmest sweetest voice ever "you are a good girl right? Just like your sister? You sister is such a good girl she never fights" I froze. I hope I made that up in my mind. I pray he said that to shut me up. I pray and pray to forget it everyday. Look, if it's just me, it would be easier to battle against this. But if word gets out and that sentence is true, I will kill him. Him and his brother. I tried not to think about it. I didn't know what to do. I played and laughed like a normal kid but when darkness set my mind would take over. We used to have sleepovers at their house and he would pin me down then too, his brother would do the same. This continued until I was 10. Every day, every year. Sometimes I would go there on purpose, I don't know why, I just wanted to impress him. I knew it was wrong, I didn't like the possibility of my sister being involved but I still went. It's almost like I liked going there and sometimes felt a responsibility.
When I turned 10, my parents decided to move to another city again. I was shy and awkward at my new school. My friends told me I was the weird kid. I didn't miss anyone from the last city. I think I started getting a general sense of how wrong what happened was but I tried to suppress the memories to the best of my ability. My mom told me to cover my breasts because I was growing too fast, I think she touched me to tell me where and why I should cover them, she doesn't know but that messed up with me so bad I can't take off scarves off my chest in front of anyone. By the way, those neighbours became really close to us. My dad and their dad were like best friends now. So in 2012, those neighbours shifted into the same apartment as ours and lived right above us.
Edit part3: https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/gt5p7f/opening_up_about_my_trauma_pt3/
|
ptsd
|
Hello guys,
Whenever I go through harder times I always find it helpful to have a chat with someone sharing my mindset. So I decided to create an app where you can match with people that are having same disorders, starting from depression up to eating disorders/sexual frustration/loneliness etc.
[https://getbetter-ui.vercel.app/](https://getbetter-ui.vercel.app/)
The app is still in development but I decided it is ready enough to share it. If you decide to try it out please leave some feedback so that i know what can be improved. It requires mail confirmation, but dont worry, the only email it sends is confirmation, no spam.
|
aspergers
|
So I don't have any friends and its been hard without them. i think i just got broken up with but I sort of dont understand the situation. And I'm just assuming I'm not smart enough to date someone like him. But Its not that that i want to talk about really. Its just that i generally want to talk to someone or I want to have a person to talk to about anything but i dont have anyone. I was thinking of writing a letter to the mail carrier lady because she has really cool sunglasses. And she likes my moms dog Fred. Do you think she will be weirded out? I probably shouldnt use my dolphin paper, but should i put stickers in it? Or will she think im too childish? I dont want to be so childish, I think its my biggest flaw. I live in a kind of a small town and she seems like the only friendly person around to be honest. But ive never been good with keeping friends, and sometimes i cant tell if its just because I'm a bad person or because I'm a burden. I dont have much going for me maybe besides my looks. Im not very smart, infact ive never fully memorized my times tables. Im very behind everyone else my age. I feel extremely stupid a lot of the time. Everyone else seems to understand in a way I dont about relationships too and especially online friendships, i dont think i understand them much i dont use my phone very often. And i cant maintain online friendships well at all but somehow i was able to have a long distance relationship for 8 months, so its not like i cant do it but i just feel like i need more, online is so stressful for me now, I dont really know what to do. I just feel alone and i feel kind of pathetic too.
|
aspergers
|
I pushed everyone I've ever known away. I have no one to talk to anymore and it's incredibly frustrating. I can't talk about any problems or anything that's bothering me. I hate talking to other people but at this point I've forced myself to keep it all in. I'm completely alone in life now.
|
depression
|
Hey ADHD gang,
Does anyone else every wake up anxious, almost manic, because you feel so exhausted by the thought of doing things whether it’s a day off or work day?
When I have mornings like this it feels like my psyche is a raw wound doused in lemon juice.
Not only does it make my morning difficult but it adds stress to my partners morning as well.
Does anyone else have similar experiences and what do you do?
Thanks again, remember to take your meds, drink, water and eat something ! ( coffee and water is not food!)
|
ADHD
|
Hello, I have been struggling with what I'm certain is ADHD: poor memory, poor ability to focus, irritability, impulsivity, to name a few. I have gone to a couple psychiatrists for diagnosis as I believe that will help me to access resources that help me deal with the symptoms. The "tests" I am given to confirm ADHD are subjective questionnaires that aren't comprehensive. Is there a more objective way to determine adhd, like comparing the patient's base level of dopamine against what would be found in someone neurotypical?
|
ADHD
|
I have been struggling for quite some time now. I just HATE my personality. I am shy, awkward and clumsy, and I have the feeling that the people who keep me around do so because I do stupid stuff and make fun of myself. I am 20, never had a girlfriend (only kissed a girl once) and I never remember having any close female friends. Its a little bit better with men, but I have very few friends. The ONLY thing that kept me going was that i thought I am a little bit smarter than the rest, school wasn't a big deal for me and I got good grades when I wanted to.
Recently I moved to another country for college ( I want be an engineer), and well... it turns out that "smart kid" thing was BS. I am probably below average right now, and I am scared I won't make it past the first semester. Add that to my already existing problem of being a weirdo without social skills and you got someone who cries alone once every two days or so. And eventually came a question to my mind: why? If I am not special as I wanted to think, and will never be "normal" or have the experiences that normal people have, what's the point of going through so much pain and suffering?
I always like to imagine that one day, everything will magically change, I will meet my soulmate and we will have a happy and succesful life... but maybe it won't be that way. Maybe it will never happen. What is the point of even trying?
Hope that the person reading this is felling better than me.
|
depression
|
I hate myself.
I'm not good enough for anyone. I'm constantly questioning my self worth. I'm constantly questioning if I can ever be fully loved, if I'm good enough to keep someone happy.
I want someone so bad to just tell me everything will be ok and that I'm worth everything. I feel so small.
I need someone to tell me everyday that I'm worth it and that I'm something.
Because all I feel now is that I'm nothing and that it will never change.
|
depression
|
I have these prayer beads that I have obsessive rituals based over and have had for years. I use them when I’m anxious and they really calm me down. However, last night I took them out (because I was anxious) and I lost them. I don’t know what to do, I’m feeling so much dread now they’re gone
|
OCD
|
Now, being on the spectrum. Sometimes I am just seen as weird, socially inept, quiet and never wanting to smile. I feel I've made progress in the social realm despite my diagnosis, but it is an ever growing infinite path that leads who knows where.
I'll admit, I am behind, but I also feel I am ahead in others. I have a wide range of interests and feel comfortable discussing things I am passionate about. It is, of course, not always the case that we develop relationships like normies that people take the time to know us, because whether we acknowledge it or not, our condition is a barrier few sane people would attempt to breach.
In this situation, I have been working for the same company for over seven years now. The sad fact is that it was my first and only permanent job. I did take a seasonal position that I enjoyed and paid better, but I wasn't offered a permanent position, and that did and still hurts. It wouldn't be so bad if I was 23 like most others would be if they were still at their first job after seven years. I didn't get a job until I was 28, and it wasn't easy. It is a supermarket job and it was damn luck I wasn't fired after an embarrassing incident more than a year into it which I will not discuss, but times have passed, I got transferred, lost two stores, and have been meandering at my current location since 2018 and through Covid.
I don't know if it has always been this way, or something I am just noticing, which in some cases I know I have no one to blame but myself. But it is becoming difficult to try and maintain a passable air when I feel people either don't give a damn or will be gone before it becomes a big issue. I feel I am a nice person in the right situation. I can have a weird sense of humor, like on one occasion, after taking weeks of French Language lessons on Mondly, one younger guy who works up front in Customer Service, who just occasionally spurts out my name like if we were on a gym class tag football team trying to fire each other up. In this occasion we were both clocking in at the same time, after he says my name, I end up going into this fake tirade in French. Let's just say he didn't see the humor in it, and perhaps it wasn't that funny to begin with, but there we are. I believe it has to be a level of wonderment toward what the hell happened there, and being in the front of the store, knowing it can get boring with too much time on people's hands, he might have just shared the encounter.
I have many other examples, but also what I can best describe as the closest thing to a casual acquaintance. There is a manager in the store who just finished grad school. I believe he did Criminal Justice and Sociology and is a military veteran. We caught on somewhat after he learned I was a film buff and later moved on to discuss history, politics and exchange podcast and book recommendations. I feel quite comfortable conversing with topics I feel proficient toward, but most people who work at this store are just, in my eyes due to my own experience, just damn lucky they didn't have to deal with the same diagnosis that sometimes I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
It can be crippling and is for many on the spectrum. But also, I wouldn't trade my natural curiosity, desire to grow and experience life for one day in their uninspiring shoes.
Any thoughts?
|
aspergers
|
I was dumb. I even planned what every room was going to look like. Planned what my daughters birthday party was going to look like….we’re not even house hunting.
Went on Zillow today and saw that it sold and I feel like I’m going through a breakup! Anyone else do this?
I remember back in the day (before I knew I had ADHD) I would hyperfocus on a boy I like. Imagine our lives together and then he would get a girlfriend (because um like I never really talked to him lol) and then I would go into breakup mode when this happened!
In the market I’m in, I knew it was dumb to fall in love with a house I couldn’t buy now. But, alas, I did. And now I’m going to go listen to Taylor Swift and cry. I mean not really….but then again…probably. 😉
|
ADHD
|
Internally I want to throw a huge fucking tantrum, because nothing , absolutely NOTHING has gone right in my life. I’ve been on anti depressants for about 3 years now and none of them have been able to relieve my depression for a significant amount of time. When I tell people this i’m always meet with “ we can try something else” or “ lets up your prescription” and it never works. People tell me “you know doing shit like working out and meditating would help” and i’ve tried and it’s doesn’t work long enough to keep me from wanting to kill myself.
And i don’t have the energy or will to try anymore.
Its people telling me to constantly keep at it and it’ll get better. However no one ever tells you it gets a lot worse too.
I know my meds aren’t a magic pill to make it all go away but fuck i wish they took the pain away for just a second at least.
|
depression
|
The wind shook my car a little too hard today and I was convinced that my new car of just under a year is already breaking down. Had a panic attack that someone was letting the air out of my tires or cut my brakes and had to go home. Currently still having horrible intrusive thoughts that won’t go away and increasingly paranoid that my car is gonna break down out of nowhere. I wish I had a normal brain.
|
OCD
|
So, my doctor recently told me to start taking a 10mg booster dose around noon. To help with my crash after 5 to 8 hours. My job sometimes calls for long hour days and I have a semiflexable schedule, ie work from 8am to 11am break until 1pm or 2pm and work until 6pm. I've noticed that I'm focus from my morning dose until I go to bed at 11pm. Which is exhausting, I feel like I hyperfocus on everything, even simple boring task. I just ask because my family was very against medication and my doctor just started maternity leave. Is the hyperfocus all day normal?
|
ADHD
|
I don’t even know if I’ve been properly diagnosed with ptsd. My counsellor believes so and recommended EMDR to me. I’ve been on medication for depression since the start of the year and I’ve pretty much been a daily smoker since then. I should stop smoking that shit if I want to get better right?
|
ptsd
|
Wanted to ask, would you get into a romantic relationship with someone who you are legitimately attracted to knowing that in approximately 2yrs you would either have to break up or try to make long distance dating work? And if your answer is yes then explain what makes it so worth it?
Thanks.
|
aspergers
|
TW: pedophilia, molestation, incest
Hey guys, I had a rough therapy session where we went a bit into my fears that my father has touched me when I was younger. I haven't always had this fear, maybe a couple of years now. It became worse after I realized he actually is a pedophile and allowed pedophiles around us kids, and after some creepy comments (saying 3 x in a day how glad he was he isn't attracted to me... his biological daughter.....??)
We did this in EMDR and I haven't freaked out as much in therapy in the previous 1.5 years. This is causing me to worry more and consequently using cannabis to drain out these thoughts. Not the best, I know.
Anyways, all of this has me wondering how repressed memories for others came to the surface. Like how long did it take, how did those memories start to surface, did you have fears like mine first, did it all come back at once, what made it come back?
|
ptsd
|
**Hi everyone, this is my first time posting here. Please forgive me if I don't use correct terms and if I seem to ramble. I really don't know how to start this conversation.**
Over the last year or so, I've started looking into mental/anxiety disorders which eventually lead me to reading about more neurodivergent disorders and symptoms. What has resonated with me most and feels familiar to me are the symptoms of ADHD, Aspergers or some type of sensory issue which I understand can be linked to depression, anxiety, OCD, etc. (which i also display symptoms of)
I've known since I was in middle school (now a 28 yo Female) that I was different. I've always been hyper self-aware, aware of my emotions, how I was feeling and how different I felt than everyone around me but I was never good at controlling those emotions. Well, I'm good at controlling them until everything builds up and I explode.
Now that I've been doing more research and analyzing my entire lifetime of emotions, actions and traits I've realized that I need to go to therapy and finally get a diagnosis for what is going on in my brain and my body. This is where I'm not sure how to continue.
**Do I go to therapy and bring up that I think I could have some type of neurodivergent disorder ? Do I let them analyze me first? How does this work? How did you get your diagnosis? What else have you looked into?**
I would love to hear from anyone (especially women!) that is open to sharing their story and if you have any tips on how to get help.
From my understanding, getting a diagnosis can be quite healing and almost give closure to adults with Aspergers or other neurodivergent disorders. I'm not necessarily looking to get on any medications but I would love to learn how to deal with my emotions and how I can communicate my issues to loved ones.
I've started a journal to keep track of my symptoms so I'll leave them here to see if anyone else resonates with them:
\- Easily frustrated and annoyed by small things that go wrong or by people
\- Rapid mood changes
\- Overstimulation of sounds, noises, touch, smells, light, hair touching my face, sticky textures to the point I get really mad and upset
\- Trouble falling asleep and staying asleep
\- Avoid social interactions or small talk
\- Frustration when my daily routine gets thrown off to the point it ruins my whole day
\- Extreme anxiety while traveling or when unexpected things happen (I also struggle being spontaneous)
\- Constantly leave drawers and doors open
\- Easily distracted and forgetful about certain things
\- Desire to be alone a lot of the time and always need to recharge for DAYS after social interactions- Hyper-independence
\- No desire to keep up with friends or keep good relationships (not that I don't care, I just simply don't have the need to. It's hard to explain)
\- Irritable Bowel Syndrome
\- Breakdowns or tantrums
\- Difficulty with keeping eye contact during hard conversations but sometimes it's all the time- Clumsiness
\- Adapting other people's mannerisms, language, sayings, the way they speak or do things, etc.
\- I can be impulsive at times with decisions or purchases
\- "Masking" (I recently learned of this term. I knew I did this my entire life but always chalked it up to be a stupid silly Gemini trait 🤦🏼♀️)
\- Playing out social situations out loud to myself (Pretending I am both people in the conversation and play out those conversations verbally)
\- Watching reality TV excessively
I would appreciate any feedback or suggestions here. Thank you in advance!
*Full disclosure: I am not trying to self-diagnose myself but more so just acknowledging that the symptoms of Asperger's and ADHD really resonate with me.*
|
aspergers
|
I don’t have the words to explain everything! I’m drained been surviving alone for the longest time in my life... The thoughts, the memories, the social anxiety & the feelings of belonging no where! I’m not seeing a lot of worth 🤦🏾♂️🤷🏾♂️
|
ptsd
|
The hardest part for me is having a million different things going on in my head but can’t focus on just one at a time. I get so overwhelmed and can’t control my emotions it goes from sad to angry to anxious. I’ve tried figuring a way to help it but talking about to other has been the best help for me.
I would appreciate for anyone replying to this to be open and really not be afraid to let it out. I find it to be really helpful to speak to people who understand the struggles I think of and go through.
|
ADHD
|
Hi, I (18F) have pretty bad health anxiety and I’m currently fixated on brain tumors. I’m nearsighted so I can’t see far away and I’ve convinced myself I’m having double vision. My glasses make me see properly but a few minutes ago I was watching a show with my glasses on and the subtitles looked weird? It was white writing on a dark background and it made it look like I was seeing double, not side to side but up and down. I’m freaking out because what if this is an early sign of double vision. I keep compulsively checking to see if it looks the same when I close one eye. Is this normal??
|
OCD
|
anyways let’s start with a story ok so ima 14year old boy turning 15 in march and starting back when i was in kindergarten I taped to these twins they were girls and they were like my only friends during that time and there was this other kid he was a boy and he was always getting in my way in life every friend i had in my life this kid was involved somehow and i hate it more than anything and so what happened was that there dad wanted to fight my dad and i’m being serious about that there dad wanted to fight my dad and they didn’t thankfully and so after that we weren’t allowed to talk to each other anymore i didn’t want to make new friends because of that and now i have a constant fear of that but i go to over it and found my guy friends now let’s just forward to 2nd grade ok so what happened here is when i found my 2best friends life was good and then jump to 3rd grade they bullied me and then i was crying everyday because of that now let’s jump to 5th cause i was told to get away from them after that and then now in 5th grade i’m getting ready to transfer to a new school for middle of course and now it’s middle school no friends or nothing all of middle school and now we’re up to high school 9th grade now i moved back to my old school and i found this girl and she was my everything she was holding me together we had so much fun together i LOVED HER so much and she said she LOVES me and then after that a couple of weeks down the road she cheated on me and i don’t know what to do i tried to commit and it didn’t work any ideas
|
depression
|
When you look things up about it, almost all the results are some sort of advice for parents with young kids who have autism. And nine times out of ten its absolutely awful advice that is basically "do whatever you want with no thought for how it affects them, and then do some ultimately meaningless small gesture of reassurance". It's like they literally never listen to anything we say about how we think and feel, and we are treated as some sort of burden or object rather than as actual people with our own complex internal life.
|
aspergers
|
I've been in a job that has a lot of meetings for nearly 15 years. I do fine when I'm at my desk working on computer programming tasks but feel like falling asleep as soon as I'm in a dedicated meeting situation where I can't work on other tasks. Ive seen some other posts on this forum where others describe a similar issue. Could it b some form of ADHD?
I don't remember having problems like this back in school. I also experience the feelings in some other situations like one on one conversations, music lessons when the teacher is talking, or a wedding reception with a lot of people. I'm not much of a talker and have gotten a lot of flack for it in my life. Id rather b actively doing something.
This may not fit the ADHD mold but I'm just trying to find some kind of explanation. It would b nice to b more alert in meetings and not have it go as a negative on my annual performance review. I've also wondered if it's some kind of introverted social exhaustion.
|
ADHD
|
It is less of a problem now, but when i was a child I HAD to rock my whole upper body back and forth in a rythm in order to fall asleep.
The movement is like this : i sleep on my side, my legs don't move to much, but my upper body will move from being on its back to on its belly to on its back, etc
I did it strongly, to the point of making my bed squeak (i actually destroyed a couple of bed like this)
And couldn't sleep without doing this. Now i can, but i still like to do it, i find it comforting
I know im terrible at describing it but it doesn't look like anybody else's way of sleeping, so i'm wondering if this is linked to adhd
|
ADHD
|
So, we are going to build an island in the Pacific Ocean, because no one owns the Pacific Ocean. And then, we will plant all plants we want. Then we can build our buildings, all of which are forbidden to have fluorescent lights in them. Then we will have our constitution that states for everyone to say what they mean instead of making us guess what their thinking like we’re mind readers. Then, everyone gets free noise canceling headphones, there will be entire libraries dedicated to certain topics of interest. All of our clothing stores would be sensory friendly, small talk would be 100% optional, everyone would be allowed to talk freely about special interests, loud noises would be banned and you will be put in jail for using fireworks.
Edit: Giant wildlife reservations for animals, no loud hand dryers in the bathrooms
Everything would be perfect.
Anyone else coming? Also anything else to add?
|
aspergers
|
We were at a party, the girl and guy went to smoke a joint together. The guy locked the door behind them, was being really flirty with her and then eventually touched her breast.
Girl immediately came out and eventually told everyone at the party. Guy was called out, he first denied it and then eventually admitted it and apologised. He claims he misconstrued her being friendly with him as she was into him. Regardless, it’s still sexual assault.
The entire group is now divided on how to deal with the situation. Half think he should be cut off immediately, the other half think he should be given a second chance due to his disorder.
I am truly at a loss for words.
Another thing to note is the guy has told people he is feeling suicidal, which makes cutting him off even more tricky for everyone. We are his only social circle, he has no other friends.
My personal opinion is that actions like this have consequences and he should be cut off, and his Aspergers should not change that. He is an adult, and I’m pretty sure people with Aspergers know the difference between right and wrong and what is sexual assault.
|
aspergers
|
My therapist recently brought up the idea that I might be on the spectrum. After the session, I tore articles and videos about ASD (characteristically aspie I discovered) and found that the idea explained a lot about me. I took some of the autism questionnaires, and my scores were just above the threshold. But then also some of the classical presentations don't fit for me. The social component is the area that feels most lacking for me.
With ASD being a spectrum disorder, it's hard to know if I have enough characteristics to fit. I haven't had many of the struggles that others on the spectrum seem to have, and so I would feel like an imposter if I did get an official diagnosis. Is this similar for anyone else who has ultimately received a diagnosis?
## Symptoms
* I have strong special interests, but I switch special interests every few months, except for computers, which has been lifelong.
* I can be very rigid and have to do things the right way, especially at work (I'm a software engineer). I have a strong sense of right and wrong and following rules is important to me, especially when I was younger.
* I have had persistent depression disorder for decades, but with no real external stressors to account for much of it. Quite possibly could be autistic burnout.
* I have had chronic sleep problems, like insomnia, hypersomnia, restless leg syndrome, as far back as I can remember.
* I have alexithymia for sure and usually shutdown in intense emotional situations.
* I have some touch sensitivities. I don't usually like being touched, hugged, kissed, holding hands. I dislike lotions, sunscreen, and really any kind of grim on my skin. Some fabrics bother me, but I can usually deal with it.
* I have been an extremely picky eater for all of my life and feel incapable of changing.
## Missing Symptoms
* Social/emotional connection: I don't usually feel socially awkward. I think that I read faces and social cues just fine. I don't enjoy small talk, but I can do it. I understand jokes and sarcasm well. Internally, though, I have felt like there was always something blocking me from connecting with people emotionally. I do typically have a very flat affect and often feel like an outsider.
* I do have some heightened senses (light, touch, taste, texture), but not so much that it is ever painful or intolerable.
* I don't think that I've had many meltdowns. It's possible mine look more like shutdowns, which has happened often for me.
* I have some problems with executive function, but not to a degree that has caused serious impairment. Perseveration is probably the worst symptom for me.
If you bring in family history, the case gets stronger for me. My father and maternal grandfather both present with many autistic traits. But then again like me, not all of the classic symptons.
|
aspergers
|
I'm really hopeless at this point....
Edit
TO SOMEONE* ffs 🤦♂️
|
OCD
|
Hey friends I wanted to give you some light at the end of the tunnel hope for you.
Some context: I’m 50 and I have PTSD from a childhood that could be described as “Yikes!” and “Holy shit, yo!”Not the warm bath of adolescence as spoken of in song, carpentry, poetry and interpretive dance.
And I’m trying to write this in as anodyne and TW free a manner as I can.
Anywho.
The good news: I’ve been in therapy for 5 years now and I consistently see empirical evidence of improvement in my life and family. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is working and I wanted to let you know that there’s an endpoint to this madness.
The biological mechanisms that underly our struggles for a normal life can be understood and leveraged. It’s not magic or voodoo. It’s just work.
So whatever manner you decide to go in your journey towards healing please know the journey will eventually take you to peace.
Hang in there.
|
ptsd
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.