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I spend every day ruminating nasty things/comments that were said to me by friends/strangers.
I go to bed and it takes me 5-6hours to fall asleep as my head replays these scenarios.
Ive googled but i just cant find anything to stop me ruminating, its really ruining my life so much!
Anyone had any solid solutions thanks
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OCD
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i’ve been looking for scholarships/grants to apply for to ease the burden of college tuition, but i can only seem to find the OAR scholarship and Avonte Oquendo scholarship. does anyone know of any others that would be worth applying for?
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aspergers
|
I decided to get some new putty in preparation for starting uni. All of mine before has been from Crazy Aaron's but for whatever reason pretty much nowhere's selling it in the UK anymore. I'd order it from America but the secret charges seem like too much stress.
I usually like squishy things such as stress balls, however they need to be quite durable- I've burst a few too many of those mesh balls in the past-, so if anyone has any suggestions or knows of any good putty brands please let me know!
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aspergers
|
I've dealt with OCD since forever. During this episode I forced myself through something very similar to a false memory that relates to a real event, and this has helped me greatly and I stopped feeling guilty about those memories because I realised that my brain just gives false narratives to everything I do. Anyways, I don't feel the need to recheck the memories or do anything but now I just wake up with anxiety. My brain flashes random images of events and they're so vague that I can't even discern what it's trying to say. I don't check them but I still feel scared of something? I don't know what it is. How should I react to this?
I think I was just very aware that this won't be the end and that my OCD will force worse shit on me because I stopped doing the complusions?
It's like it's gone to a full riot of intrusive thoughts.
Edit: Sadly, I rechecked dates and stuff out of compulsion and I did make sure that I 1000% didn't do anything wrong but OCD doesn't give a shit about reason or logic so now I just feel generally anxious. Waiting for the next thing to happen. Is this normal with OCD?
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OCD
|
Qelbree (viloxazine), a new med for adhd has been approved by the FDA for children in mid 2021. It's already on the market in America. The FDA will probably approve it for adults in April 2022. So does one of you know if the pharma company also plans to launch Qelbree in other parts of the world, and if yes when? I'm in Europe and I couldn't find any news on this.
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ADHD
|
I discovered Discoworld books as a high school student and got OBSESSED (read hyperfocused). I would read a book a day over summer break. Anyway, on Christmas day my family and I flew to my grandma's house to celebrate the holidays. I was deeply engrossed in reading a particularly good Discworld book when I noticed a bit of a smokey smell. I assumed it was from the grilled and smoked meat in our carry-on bag. My dad, sitting in the seat in front of me kept telling me to sit up straight and keep my seatbelt on. My parents both kept saying they loved me. As an a$$hole teenager, I just said "I love you too, leave me alone GOD!". I was pretty annoyed that they kept interrupting such a good book. Well we land, and I looked out the window and the entire runway was covered in ambulances and fire trucks. WTF?!?! It turns out some part of the engine was on fire, the cabin was full of smoke, an older gentleman was having an asthma attack, and there had been about 30 emergency announcements that I had totally tuned out. My parents thought we were all going to die but didn't want my last moments to be scared so they didn't say anything. We had made an emergency landing at some airport in the middle of nowhere.
After deplaning I ended up leaning on the bumper of an ambulance to finish my book. The worst part of the whole thing was we had to sit in the little airport for hours while transportation was figured out and I DIDN'T HAVE ANY MORE BOOKS TO READ!
Anyway, it somehow took me another 12 years to learn that I have ADHD.
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ADHD
|
There's a girl who I've been friends with since 2015 and looked up to the entire time. To describe this situation in the least graphic way possible, two years ago, she manipulated me into having sex with her and tormented me over it for two entire years because i was too scared to speak up against her. I was 14 at the time, she was 16, i was stuck in an abusive long distance relationship with an older man and she knew i wasn't in a good place mentally but one night she pressured me into having sex with her. There was never any consent, i was just too scared to say no to her because i thought she would hate me. she picked up on the fact that i wasn't enjoying it but never connected the dots that she had done something wrong. it took me 2 whole years to speak up about it and when i mentioned it to her she gaslit me and made herself out as a victim. i can't help but feel like this doesnt count as rape or assault because i never said no, has anyone else ever experienced anything similar? any advice on how to cope?
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ptsd
|
Insomnia and other sleep issues are common symptoms of ADHD, and obviously the best strategy is building good sleep hygiene to get more and better sleep. I try my best but still have a lot of trouble getting to sleep sometimes (last night I was so bored and understimulated, that I couldn't sleep at all; even after doing all my routines and melatonin and stuff).
Sometimes it's possible to just write off the day (go back to bed or have a do-nothing day), but sometimes you can't (have to go into work or class). And sometimes all you can do is suffer through the day, but other times you might actually *want* to get things done (despite lack of sleep).
So for days that you didn't get good sleep and still have/want to get things done, what are some tips and strategies you use to be productive?
Disclaimer: I know "productivity" can be a dirty word around here (I don't particularly like it myself), but interpret it with the understanding that productivity is relative. Some days you'll get a lot done and that's great; some days you won't, and that's okay; and on days you haven't gotten any sleep, you probably won't, and that's especially okay.
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ADHD
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how do i deal with my head saying everything is a sin it started off with blasphemous thoughts at god now it’s saying everything is a sin should i just do erp and expose myself to this and accept the thoughts ? it’s not really bothering me a lot but it is as it’s the only thing roaming my brain
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OCD
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I've constantly been beaten to my knees and I keep getting up but each time there's a harder beating. I've been taken over by this and im I don't know if my knee caps will allow me to get up again. Distracting myself is like Fentanyl except that it doesn't last. I know that crowbar will come swinging again but this time there will be a sledgehammer attached to a jack hammer just to break me even more. Who knows maybe I deserve the pain. Maybe those opioids don't work but God doesn't allow them to. Im made of ceramic and this time I don't know how ill be able to pick up the pieces
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depression
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Has anyone done erp for this theme and what did that consist of? Or mainly any tips that might help?
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OCD
|
Hi there! I’m a 23 year old man whose been dealing with ADD my entire life. I have interests but no interest in doing them for more than a week. I have goals but even the simplest ones seem to steep to climb. My dad who doesn’t understand me thinks I’m just a lazy good for nothing (Even though I struggled through college and am now a software engineer.) I can’t seem to retain friends, some of my closest friends only rarely want to hang out if I initiate. I want to be able to achieve goals and do cool things but I sincerely lack the motivation. I want a group of friends who have my back and actively go out of their way to include me. I want my dad to understand me. I want to start finding methods of coping (something I should have done a long time ago) but have no idea where to start any ideas?
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ADHD
|
I’ve been a frequent poster here. Mostly about how much I hate myself, how unlovable I am, and how I’ll never find someone to love me because I’m simply too ugly. Body image has been a huge struggle for me. I’ve also posted about loneliness and addiction as well. One year and two days ago I went into the psych ward and I resolved that no matter what I wasn’t gonna kill myself. I had to live because I owed it to my mom.
Since then I have been sober from my main vice. Does this mean that things are all that much better in terms of what I actually have? Not really. I still don’t have many friends. In fact my best friend isn’t speaking to me anymore as of about a month ago. I’m not in shape. I don’t have the body I said I would need to have in order to ever feel good about myself. I still get sad all the time.
In many ways I’m still struggling. But what has changed is my resilience, something I’ve never had before. The bad things don’t beat me down to a place where I want to end it all or do something ridiculous to try to cope. This fact makes my life in a way infinitely better than it was. I have some stability finally. I am not on the shame rollercoaster.
Life is never going to be perfect. You’ll never get exactly what you want. In fact you probably won’t get close to it. But you will get some things. And those things that you don’t have, you still work as hard as you can to achieve. Because what else is there to do? In the meantime though, I bet if you change your perspective there’s at least one thing right in front of you that you are not actively grateful for.
Today I am grateful for sobriety and my cats. I got a tattoo to mark the one year anniversary. I have self harm scars on my wrists. When I was 16 I needed so much help and that was how I tried (unwisely) to get it. They will never go away. People always ask about them and it’s a source of shame every time. The tattoo is “12/8” with the scar being the dash. Now when I look at my wrist I am reminded of an accomplishment and how far I have come, as opposed to the memories from those dark, dark times. Don’t give up friends. Choose to live. Make a change for the future and flip the script on your past. That’s my advice.
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depression
|
I have no one to confide in as mental health was taboo in my family growing up. I have no friends and no one knows I am seeking proper mental health help and assessments for the first time in my 26 years. I have a partner and they are all I have. They are wonderful but they've taken the full brunt of having to look after me for 11 years. I sit at home alone all day and only work a few hours three days a week in a no contact job.
I've completely isolated myself for over a year and gave up everything because of a huge burn out after I (barely) completed univeristy. I joined reddit and hoped to learn more and keep myself occupied while I wait for my assessments and it's been a great procrastination tool. But 9.9 times out of 10 I don't get any votes or replies which makes me sad and feel more lonely *cries in over-sensitive*
Social anxiety has only gone up and up since I was younger and then pandemic allowed me to become full recluse.
Now that I don't have school, competitions, stress, social pressure, or external factors holding me accountable for doing things (that I already struggled to do) I am starting to fully realise the extent of my inability to function on a daily basis with simple tasks.
It's all so lonely and I feel like all I'm doing is waiting for my assessments before I can start trying to function as a normal human again (which is not exactly true because never in my life have I been a 'normal human' by any standards) with some support and understanding on what's going on in my head.
Did anyone else experience extreme loneliness and isolate themselves once their stuggles finally got the best of you and you could no longer hide it from the world?
I'd like to reach out to people but I have an awful fear of being misunderstood and rejected because its all I've experienced in the past.
This is a bit of a vent as well so apologies. Posting on here occasionally is the only thing that makes me feel slightly less alone.
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ADHD
|
I feel like I can barely enjoy things anymore. I have diagnosed ADD an I’m not medicated. I want to enjoy simple things like jazz, books, television. But I feel like the only things that keep my attention are brutal metal and games. Sometimes if I take a simple/mindless task like cooking (not always simple) I can listen to more relaxed music but I feel like some of the enjoyment is lost because I’m splitting my attention. Any advice?
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ADHD
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I have intrusive thought OCD. My compulsion doesn’t bother me much but when I am stressed it’s a must. I have been able to push my compulsions away for about a month before but that lead to me developing depression. Since then I haven’t tried to push away my compulsion but I was just wondering what helped you guys with Intrusive thoughts? My compulsion is basically banging my back against a wall. It doesn’t hurt me as of right now but I worry about my future. When I’m older will I damage my back? I want to have a family one day, I can bang my back while pregnant, will I hurt my future and future children? It’s hard to think about but I cannot stop I’ve been doing it for 2 decades and when I stopped I developed depression. Which was horrible. Anyways thanks for anyone with insight.
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OCD
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Help , my friend's birthday is coming and I'm planning to give her a Scented Candle but Im having a lot of intrusive thoughts like what if it'll cause fire and they would blame me ㅠㅠ it makes me anxious.
Should I think of another gift ?
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OCD
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And I’m at a point now where the depression is “back” and it’s eating me from the inside out.
I really believed that I was over it and better.
But I am an empty shell of the person I could be.
And so disappointed in myself for not doing better.
I don’t want to carry on like this, but I’m at a point where I feel as though this is who I am. This is all I can be. And the hopelessness is so terrifying.
I have an exterior facade where I act put together and successful. But the truth has been leaking out too much and now it’s taken over me.
I am not okay, and I haven’t been for a long time. I am an empty shell searching for myself, but she’s been lost for such a long time that I’m not sure if she exists anymore. And I guess embracing it is the only way forward.
I want to move forward so badly. It just seems like so much work.
I haven’t been human for 3 years. Who am I? Who do I want to be? How do I become her?
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depression
|
To my knowledge my older brother has been diagnosed with ocd for at least 8 years now. He likely has anxiety and possibly other connected disorders but will refuse to accept help via therapy or medication despite multiple attempts of us (his family) pointing him in that direction. The most therapy I remember him having was when he was first diagnosed and I’m pretty sure it helped, however I was also very young at the time to fully understand the situation and often kept in the dark. The main source of worry over many years now has been what seem to be these intense bursts of anger that can last for hours, they’re extremely scary and consist of screaming, shouting all sorts of abuse at others around him including myself, throwing his body around and hitting himself. Unfortunately these are frequent and most often stem from what would be minor inconveniences or things we can’t control. There have been times where I have been able to help him calm down by talking things through with him or getting him to slow down his breathing but you can imagine this is quite difficult when he’s screaming and throwing himself around. Of course then there are members of the family who have a much shorter fuse I.e. my dad who will reciprocate the aggression at which point I’m trying to calm down two older, much larger, aggressive men. Impossible. As much as I empathise with him and don’t want to point blame in his direction - I hate to see him in so much pain - these arguments have completely torn the family apart. Everyone desperately wants to leave but no one has the means to do so and/or are scared of leaving each other alone. I guess I am just asking for advice on how to better deal with the severity of these ‘anger attacks’, as therapy seems to not be an option I feel like this is my only choice.
Apologies for the word vomit, I hope this makes some sense.
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OCD
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this might be NSFW, i’m not sure so i’ll just be safe
tw: rape and sexual assault
i was raped by my best friend when i was 14 and didn’t realize it. i didn’t even develop ptsd until a year after it happened, and i’m not sure why. i got a boyfriend when i was 15 and when we started to do something sexual i would flip out and start to panic. i started to think about what my former best friend did to me constantly, and had nightmares about it every night. me and my boyfriend didn’t last very long after that. i realized i was raped, i started to go to therapy and finally told someone about what happened.
if i never developed ptsd, or i had never been raped, i can’t help but feel like i would be a totally different person. i have the most mundane triggers, like people touching my back and shoulders, hearing the sound of rain upon the roof, or even just seeing someone who looks like them (which is much more common now that peoples faces are always covered). i encounter these things so many times a day, or if i don’t the fear that i will prevents me from living my life. i didn’t even remember that it was raining during the incident until one day it was storming so hard and it was suddenly like i was there. before that i enjoyed rainy days more than anything. now they bring so much anxiety.
i used to be so happy, but now i feel like all the joy in my life is gone. i can’t sleep at night because i feel like i’m back there, so i go through every day with minimal sleep. i feel like a shell of the person i once was, and like i’ll never be able to be truly happy again after this has happened, and now that i have ptsd. maybe part of it is growing up and maturing, i don’t know, but i’m pretty sure i already lost my innocence that day three years ago. i just feel very sad for my former self, i kinda feel like the little kid me died that day. i go to therapy but i feel like it doesn’t help. i also tried EMDR once but it didn’t really work. maybe i should try it again? i want to get better desperately, i’ll literally try anything, please tell me if you have any advice
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ptsd
|
I am a 40+ bloke who was diagnosed with ADHD in Nov 2019 and autistic in June 2020.
I have been really really struggling to come to terms with this and what it means but it has helped me understand some of my challenges.
Unfortunately it had also helped me see just how the world treats me when I use the words “autustic” or “autism” ... it’s sometimes good but mostly not.
I have a lot of issues triggered by stress - primarily irritability escalating all the way through to swearing, screaming and breaking objects. The only thing that takes this off is “decompress” time - quiet, meditation etc..
What I am discovering is that while all I need is some understanding and space when this starts to happen (or even after it happens) people are not willing to accept this “behaviour” in an adult.
It’s really difficult and it’s massively upsetting me. I get told “Oh it must be really mild” or “You are not THAT autistic” but I just don’t know what people think autism is ...
TL;DR: I am sad and drained by people in the world having a fixed,incorrect view of autism and then punishing me for not fitting that view.
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aspergers
|
I had a therapy appointment today that went well. I felt misunderstood at the end though when she made a comment about me smoking weed with my roommates today because it’s 4/20.
I told her I was hopefully going to do some art today or write some poetry after we smoke. She said “well that’s better than getting high.” I understand she has her stances as a medical professional but as far as treating people with ptsd marijuana has helped me so much. I wouldn’t have gotten this far without it. I’m just surprised that so many people I’ve met in the mental health community have been against it even for treating ptsd. I don’t know I just wanted to rant.
Anyways I feel like shit, I know most of it’s just from the session and not that specific comment she made. This is hard. It’s only week 4 of going back to therapy after the first round didn’t work out. I can’t work and am worried I won’t be able to for a while. Thanks for listening.
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ptsd
|
My (26f) boyfriend (24m) expressed to me that he doesn't feel like I find him attractive anymore. I have been on antidepressants for the last half of our relationship and have completely lost a sex drive. We still have sex occasionally but it isn't like it used to be for me. I love him deeply and still think he is so handsome and hot/sexy, but I simply cannot get turned on. We use toys and that's made it a lot better but it kind of hurts his ego.
The part that makes me feel even MORE guilty is that he has a huge sexual attraction for me and is constantly wanting to get our freak on. I don't want him to think I'm not attracted to him anymore, but I also don't want to be depressed. He's so supportive and comforts me when I express my guilt about all of this but I know this can't last forever if our sex life is struggling. I just ordered some toys, sex dice and some communication cards to spice things up so hopefully that can get me excited again.
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depression
|
Hello all, has anyone experienced slight hallucinations from being hyper vigilant? I sometimes feel like I see something out of the corner of my eye like a bug or spider crawling on the wall and I look and there's nothing. I also feel like I see someone coming toward me when really they are walking just close by. I asked my therapist if I should have some other diagnosis for this issue, but she told me that it most likely is related to my diagnosis of PTSD
Any thoughts?
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ptsd
|
I am moving and I have been thinking about setting up a new place to help me be successful (making my space work for my brain and not against it). I found pulls for the ceiling fan that have a little light charm and a little fan charm (I can never remember which is which) and I was wondering if any of you have come up with successful hacks for your home?
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ADHD
|
You know. The depressing thoughts that you know you shouldn't think about because they aren't relevant and they freak out but your brain just keeps thinking about them and every time you finally stop thinking about it...you start all over again because you just thought about not thinking about it.
Because that's been happening to me a lot over the past April. I'm 26 and it feels like I'm having a mid-life crisis 25 years too early. And every time I think I'm done and I've moved on the feelings and thoughts just come back...
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aspergers
|
Lately I’ve been thinking about what it would feel like if I stuck my hand inside of a moving blender
And I also think about my family members dying. It happens every night without fail and it causes me so much stress
I’m thinking about talking to my therapist about it tomorrow but I just don’t know how to say it and I just feel stuck in a loop
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OCD
|
Like does it say, “yeah its good harm this person”, “its alright harming is okay, its in your nature”, or like “its okay to want to harm people.” Does it every say anything like that? Because I keeps telling me that I am something or that im going to do this and that and I know thats OCD. but what about the thoughts that try to say that harming is good or say see this person was able to do it, you can do it too. Like does it ever do that.
|
OCD
|
Hi everyone I am a 23f and I have combo type adhd. It was a hard day today because i was feeling down about having trouble staying in contact with friends when I am not seeing them everyday. I don’t have a problem making friends, but it’s very challenging for me to maintain those friendships when we are not in situations together.
I think it’s an out of site out of mind situation where I tend to forgot people if I don’t constantly see them.
This was making me feel bad today because the world is not set up for this. I feel like I cannot make solid and deep Long term friendships.
Mostly here I am looking for sympathy or also strategies others use
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ADHD
|
Anyone else feel like they sound super normal and have a clean string of thoughts in your head you would like to say especially while debating or talking to someone and it just comes out like slurred jumbled mess and you forget words like an awkward idiot when you actually speak?
Or being unable to communicate your feelings when trying to convey your emotions or problems to anyone (especially when I try to speak to a therapist)?
I always think of so much stuff I am going to say because I am knowledgeable of many things but when it's time to speak it just a whole lot of nonsense.
This even happens with online posts. I feel like I cannot convey my thoughts very well and that people cannot actually understand my point.
[Edit] I've been told before when I'm relaying a story or a joke that i "suck at telling stories" and people just stay there looking at me like I've got two heads. Really discourages me from talking.
It becomes very frustrating.
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aspergers
|
does anyone here just pile up cheap clothes because its less work to just order new ones rather than clean the ones you already have?
I pretty much have to wear a white undershirt and black socks to work everyday and instead of washing them I just wear them until they are dirty and buy new ones. Its not like I throw them out, just put them in a "wash when I have motivation pile"
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ADHD
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What’s the difference between complex ptsd and ptsd if that makes sense? how do you know which one you have.
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ptsd
|
After 10 years of being medicated, I stopped taking Ritalin a couple months back to help with a different neurological disorder (visual snow). With diet, exercise and natural supplements I have found a level of mental energy, physical energy and general happiness that I have never experienced before. The downside - no meds = cannot get any work done. Even with my new found mental energy and elevated mood I cannot force myself to be even remotely productive.
Does anyone have any success stories of how they came off meds and learned to manage their ADHD?
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ADHD
|
How could they be so willing to throw our entire friendship away they knew how bug of a impact they had on me then they text me like nothing happened. I don't understand why. If I mean so little to you why don't you start acting like it. I can't take it anymore. I'm so insignificant to people. What's the point of living if you can't live for others and you have too much self hatred to live for yourself
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depression
|
I would say everyones job has shaped them in some way or another. My question is in what ways has your job shaped you that you wish you could get back. Patterns, behaviors, thought processes etc.
What are ways that you COULD take those things back? Is there any real going back?
/r/adhd exists so that we can help one another. To that end, that means low-effort posts, experience reports, memes, shouting into the void, etc. aren't allowed here. There are more relevant places for that. Posts must be at least 300 characters (NOT WORDS). That's the same length as this paragraph
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ADHD
|
I had pocd and contamination ocd, i started meds like 3 weeks ago. Those themes arent coming much but for some reason im having hocd, or arleast i think it is. Now I’m ruminating if im bi. Why arent the meds working.
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OCD
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So today I was thinking that I had harmed this girl and then it turned to I must’ve harmed someone this time this week and left them for dead. I’m freaking out because I truly don’t know if it’s real or not. Like I can’t even remember, I feel like I did a horrible thing, help me please. What are some ways to prove to myself this isn’t real?
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OCD
|
this is a little strange, but i did not have many friends that could put up with my quirks or understood me as a child.
so my mom made a life size (kid sized) stuffed doll with her sewing machine i could play with and named him.
I just found a picture which had to have been around age 4-5, I eventually grew out of it but did anyone else have parents as accommodating as this ? stories ? this is around the time i was very involved with train sets and i feel that my mom was trying to divert me.
Looking back it seems so strange still and in the family picture, i brought this kid size cuddly doll to christmas and my whole family embraced it. I’m also pretty sure there was a second doll made by my mom that was the opposite sex. but my memories are fragmented and it’s 2:30A so I can’t ask the rents.
at least it made me happy and maybe i learned a thing or two, but i feel like it’s something not typical.
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aspergers
|
Who else shames themselves for taking so long to move on from a traumatic situation?
It is going to be one year next month since I experienced a very traumatic sexual harassment experience. I still think about what happened everyday. It makes me feel ashamed that I'm still stuck ruminating about it. I want to move on but it's like my body is physically addicted to replaying what happened like I literally get aroused then ashamed which is so confusing but i know this is not uncommon for sexual violence victims.
I feel guilty and like It is my fault for not moving on even though I know this is part of post-traumatic stress disorder where we tend to replay trauma to process.
Who else struggles with this and shames themselves?
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ptsd
|
Hey all, just wanted to reach out and say that I was diagnosed with OCD yesterday related to a couple casual sexual encounters I had with a woman a couple months ago. My primary fear is that this encounter with her will ruin my life, which switched from pregnancy then to HIV (and then when I tested negative for HIV) back to pregnancy. At first my fear was that the condom broke without us realizing or it came out the base of the condom, then I read a comment on Reddit about baby trapping that instantly veered my fears towards her trying to get pregnant with the used condom I left at her place. Despite the fact that she mentioned in passing before we had sex that she has an IUD and then stated it multiple times afterwards over text when I was asking questions about her birth control and then finally said that she had gotten a pregnancy test with her STD screening and that she was all clear in every facet. In my mind, she's bold face lying to me and is going to come after me for child support if not now then in the future because she's going to have sent my sperm to a lab using an in-home freezing kit. Crazy? Maybe, but man it's killing me. Last night I then found out through her social media that she has borderline personality disorder, which has significantly elevated my depression and anxiety.
I'm trying to stay strong and am going to read a book on OCD that my psychologist recommended before we start ERP officially, but I really feel like what I fear is just going to come true and there's nothing I can do about it. My life feels like it's completely over. I start medical school in a week and a half and mentally I'm already a wreck. This doesn't feel like how my life was supposed to play out - I was a generally happy guy before all this.
I don't know why I made this post. It just feels nice I guess to lay it all out to you guys and I figure maybe some people can relate to non-contamination / self harm / other stereotypical OCD fears.
Take care all <3 It can be tough out there.
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OCD
|
hello!!! I have an art project where I’ll be incorporating my ocd into it and I was just curious about a couple of things for others w ocd!
1. What gives you comfort/subdues your ocd thoughts and anxieties?
2. What gave you comfort when you were younger?
3. What are words/ thoughts you tell yourself that help you when you’re in a bad headspace?
[I won’t be using direct attributions in the physical project since it will be an abstract piece, but if if I am inspired/take inspo from your post, I will credit you in my dissertation! thank you sm for contributing]
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OCD
|
Hi all, I am showing more or less all of the symptoms of ptsd/cptsd. Where should I be going to get officially tested or diagnosed to confirm this?
I live in the UK.
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ptsd
|
Over the weekend I had the best time not letting the intrusive thoughts affect me because I was distracted with family and now that I’m back home the thoughts are bothering me again. I hate this so much.
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OCD
|
This post has probably been made a million times but I still wanna discuss this.
Do you guys with moral OCD have it on and off? Like you'll be living life fine, and then you'll suddenly remember some random "bad" thing you did? And then you'll panic over it and feel horrible, and then you'll suddenly just stop worrying about it? And later some other "bad" thing you did pops up, and so on and so forth?
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OCD
|
I want to give my experience with Donefirst so that others won't be lulled into the same false sense of security that a healthcare provider *should* give a person.
I had been a patient with Donefirst for a few months, and put in a medication refill request for my Wellbutrin, Effexor, and Adderall on November 25 which have all been the same since starting, with no new changes. I had about a week of meds left. About 4-5 days go by and I hear nothing from my provider. I reach out to customer support, let them know my situation and what will happen if I'm out of meds, and I am told they'll figure out what's going on.
A couple of more days go by and still nothing from my provider or Donefirst. I'm getting nervous because I'm down to my last couple of days of meds. I follow-up with Donefirst and get the same generic "we're escalating this request" message.
*\*crickets\**
I'm now out of meds. I can usually go a day before I start to have withdrawals of serious nausea, vertigo, skin crawling (gets worse because of my eczema), risk of seizures, severe drops in sodium levels, and more. It takes up to 3 weeks to stabilize after stopping cold turkey.
Day 2 of no meds: I'm feeling the side effects starting. I keep contacting Donefirst and am given the same copy-paste message that they're escalating it as always. I call their emergency line and can't get ahold of anyone. More emails back and forth, more empty promises that they'll get the medication to me ASAP. I ask to be switched to a new provider or anyone that can authorize the refill. I told them even if I don't get a refill of Adderall, it's fine - I just need my Wellbutrin and Effexor. I'm told they have no one that can authorize it besides my current provider, and they can't get ahold of her. I was told they have no upper management or other provider who can authorize an existing and pre-authorized prescription. I filed a TX Board of Nursing complaint and informed Donefirst I had done so. It doesn't phase them.
Day 3 of no meds: I'm in bed at this point because of the vertigo and nausea. I've scratched my skin to bleeding. I can't sleep and I can hardly keep anything down. I finally get through to Donefirst emergency line. I'm told that I have to switch from my pharmacy that's been on file to their ScripX home delivery service if I want to get my meds. I told them ok, whatever it takes. After they authorize the change, I'm told that it will take another 24-48 hours at least before my meds will get delivered after ScripX contacts me.
I've reiterated to them the severity of my situation, and am met with the same rinse and repeat message. I had to cancel the job interview at this point.
ScripX contacts me, they have the complete wrong Rx information. I am told to contact Donefirst again.
At this point I'm concerned for my health so I contact my brother-in-law who is a doctor (he lives out of state) and once I told him my medications and how long I'd gone without, he told me to get my meds STAT - I was likely going to have a seizure if I went much longer and would be hospitalized.
I found a telehealth service that could see me that day (on a late Sunday afternoon), and within 15 minutes I was prescribed 3 months supply of my meds (minus the Adderall) and it was sent to my pharmacy. I contacted Donefirst about this and was told that in seeking care elsewhere I violated their terms of service and they are terminating my membership. Bewildered, I asked "At the advice of a doctor I sought medical treatment because my life was in danger, which was because you were unable to get my medication to me in nearly 3 weeks, and you are saying I should not have sought medical attention?" I was told "Yes, that is correct. Due to liability."
A week or so later (Dec 10), a bottle of Adderall shows up on my doorstep. So much for liability.
​
Note: I'm ok now, fortunately, but it did take several days for me to stabilize. My skin still crawls, though. After threats of legal action, Donefirst reimbursed me for the telehealth service and one month of service that they promised I'd have free due to all of this. I had to contact my bank to reverse the membership charge for month of November where literally nothing was being done. It's obvious their customer support is outsourced, and they receive no training.
Note 2: I uploaded the chain of emails to Imgur in case anyone is curious. A good percentage of the conversation happened over the phone and in Instagram and Facebook messages as well, but the majority of it over email. Here's that madness: [https://imgur.com/a/bKidYWN](https://imgur.com/a/bKidYWN)
Update: WOW! Donefirst is challenging a lot of the reviews I left elsewhere. I'm sharing the imgur link as proof!
**tl;dr Donefirst is the reason I was nearly hospitalized, missed out on a job opportunity because I had to cancel my interview, and had it not been for torte reform in Texas, I'd have a viable medical malpractice suit.**
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ADHD
|
my whole life i’ve always thought i was fatigued / tired all the time because i wasn’t eating right or wasn’t getting the proper amount of sleep. recently i slept 2 hours before i had to go to classes all day and that’s when i felt tiredness from sleep deprivation. i never realized i’m always exhausted because of my depression, i always thought i just needed to change something in my routine. now i dont know how to fix this
|
depression
|
My brain is not doing great right now so my apologies if this does not make sense or rambles etc.
I was officially diagnosed in March 2020, and started taking generic adderall. It took a couple months of trial and error to find the best dosage, but it has been life changing.
For the past year or so, I’ve been taking 15mg twice daily of the generic IR tabs. Two months ago when I picked up my refill, I noticed the manufacturer was different, but didn’t think much of it, because as far as I knew, all generics were equivalent to each other and the brand name.
That month I thought the meds seemed less effective, but I was also going through a lot more stress with work and things at home, so I chalked it up to that.
Last month I picked up the refill and it was yet another manufacturer. This past month it was as if I was not even taking anything at all. Well more like I was taking an extremely low dose, so close to nothing. My work/home stress was not the same level as the month before so I knew it wasn’t that. I finally decided to call my doctor and ask him about it.
He said that it could definitely be the change in generic, and that they are not in fact 100% equal. He said some people react differently to the fillers used, and that the potency can also potentially be slightly different. He said that he would send my next refill to be filled as brand-name only, and to try that out.
That was two weeks before my refill was due, so I waited until it was time and called him to send it over last Tuesday the 28th.
I got a notification Wednesday that it was ready to be picked up, but I noticed the copay was the same as the generic, so I called the pharmacy. I asked the person who answered how the script was written, because the doctor was supposed to send it over to be dispensed as brand name only. She put me on hold, came back and said that it was a system error, Yes it should be brand only.
But
They don’t have the brand and will have to order it. They said it would be ready that Friday, Oct 1st. Okay fine, I’m not unreasonable, I can wait.
I go to pick it up Saturday, and they tell me the order didn’t come in, and it should be ready Monday (today) but they can’t guarantee it.
Friday I took the last of the previous fill, so now I have nothing.
I called an hour ago and they said it still hadn’t come in, and maybe try again in a couple of hours.
I have a really demanding job that is currently remote, so I’m working from home. This makes it even harder to focus. My coworker is out, so I have double the workload. I haven’t had any meds since Friday.
I’ve been taking this medication nearly every day for the last 19 months, and now nothing. I hate the stigma around the medication, and the tone the person gave me when I called today. It’s as if it’s not a priority. I understand I won’t die, but I really am not doing well.
I don’t want to be dramatic, and I don’t even know if anyone will read this because it’s so long. I’m just really struggling.
My family (and main support system) moved 1,400 miles away recently. I ended an emotionally abusive and manipulative and toxic relationship a couple weeks ago. I have nobody that really understands what ADHD is like, and it just comes off as like I’m l drug-seeking loser.
I’m really really overwhelmed, and alone. And I hate the feeling of shame I get when I call the pharmacy to check on the status of a medication that I actually need.
I just want someone to tell me that it’s going to be okay.
|
ADHD
|
I have been having a very hard time focusing and my brain fog has been worse than ever. This has led to problems completing projects at work. I finally turned something in today that I told my boss would be finished last week. I knew it was very late so separately I emailed my boss about what was going on. He appreciated the explanation but went on to say he thought my recent preformance constituted insubordination.
He isn't necessarily wrong, but that word is stuck in my mind now and I am spiraling. He has not said anything about my performance before that response, and I just feel like all of my worse fears are being realized.
Please help me figure out how to reframe this and move forward. I am finally getting real help for my PTSD and feel like I am overall making progress, but this interaction has knocked me off my feet.
|
ptsd
|
does anyone else sometimes feel like they dont want to get better, sometimes its just comforting to “wallow” in my sadness yk? makes me feel like im faking it but whatever
|
depression
|
For the past 6 years or so I've had a phrase (almost like a mantra?) that plays over and over in my head. It's often my first thought in the morning, my last thought at night and it creeps into my mind during every moment of downtime. The phrase is "I was 15" and it automatically sends me back to that traumatic incident..
I'm just wondering if anyone else experiences constant repetition of a word or phrase that is associated with their trauma ?
|
ptsd
|
I've been having a fucking hard time recently, just feeling like I don't have a real close friends, someone who will always be there, someone who cares for me the same as I care for them. I had a friend like this in primary school but we haven't been in contact since and since high school started I've just been a bit lost never being able to find that real close friend, one who shares the same interest, someone who wants to just do everything together, like my friend from primary school did. I want a friendship like the ones in all those silly cringey teen movies, where they have the bestest friend and they do everything together and love all the same things and can always get along an sort out their differences when anything goes wrong. I just feel like a lot of people I know have found that in one way or another and it makes me feel alone. And just to add insult to injury I found out all my 'friends' are dicks and never cared for me so now I have no one. At least I get to start over next year at a new school.
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depression
|
I am barely writing this, severe headache and nausea. Also vomited. About a week ago I stopped taking sertraline 50mg cold turkey. I was relatively fine the past few days, mild headache and some brain zaps. Two days ago i started taking 100 mg 5htp. This morning I woke up with a headache but no nausea then i had breakfast and took 5htp. After a few minutes it got very bad and i dont know what happened or what to do...
|
depression
|
Hi All,
Can anyone give me some rough estimates on the chances (percentages) of a kid having OCD, for both one and two parents with the disorder?
Also, is there any indication of a decrease or increase in heritability with second-born children and beyond?
Thanks in advance!
|
OCD
|
It’s so tiring, i hate it, I don’t want to be reminded of the fucking hell i lived in while serving
i hate the fact that they mention my prosthetic, and they mention what happened to me over and over again
i tell them to stop, they never do
they try to drag me out for fireworks, saying “it’s not THAT BAD!!”
my only escape was the army, it hurts too much to go back
i want a personality other than “solider”
i’m so tired...i hate this so much...i’m tired of being constantly reminded of the shit i had faced
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ptsd
|
My therapist and I did the prolonged exposures where I recorded and listened to my 3 traumas over the course of months. I don't feel any different now that that is over. I still have the severe depression, anxiety, OCD and phobias that I developed from nearly 3 decades of no treatment. Over the six sessions since finishing, my therapist simply said that now we need to figure out how I'm going to \*live\* instead of avoiding, but I still have all of these disorders that are holding me back.
What happened for you after completing the prolonged exposures?
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ptsd
|
Hey
The last 2 years with barely any routine I have noticed I have lost myself. I have been on TikTok and ADHD videos for girls came up. I would relate to a few thinking that is a coincidence and it’s normal. Then as months have gone on and the more videos I saw and related to, I started to question myself. I work with kids who have ADHD but they are all boys. I was not really like them as a child so for a while I feel I was trying to tell myself I don’t have it.
As more videos popped up I did some research and well I relate too much. Unless this is a weird coincidence or something.
As a child I was always been called lazy, I would loose my temper at times but nothing hugely bad. I was never overly hyperactive and needed to be moving around nonstop. But I would get stressed and overwhelmed easily, especially around homework and any work. My mum had a great routine when I was young but when I moved overseas my dad was mostly looking after us and my routine wasn’t that consistent. I also couldn’t cope with change.
At school I would get in trouble for talking, which I thought was just normal.
I barely acted out at school but would get panic attacks when I couldn’t cope and hide.
In high school as years went on and I got more pressure given to me by work load and doing well I would get constant panic attacks. I was like another person and sometimes go crazy as my mum wouldn’t help. Her speaking would make me more stressed and upset. I also felt exhausted and in exams I couldn’t stand hearing noises so was put in a special small group to help my anxiety.
This year I went back to uni since 2019. I have no routine and struggling. Feeling not myself and can’t seem to finish things. School feels a lot harder now and I can’t sleep which I have always had on / off issues with growing up. Was always called a night owl. Like it’s 3:30am atm.
I also having a hard time with my emotions and always have & because of it was called overly sensitive.
I notice I talk fast, repetitively & loudly. I feel I have always come across annoying and so have been trying to work on that.
I just need help but currently been in lockdown for the last 100+ days.
I feel lost and just want some control again
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ADHD
|
Figured I’d post this here, since ADHD makes emotional regulation even harder than normal. Maybe some of y’all will have more ideas.
I’ve been weepy for days, and I can’t seem to break it. There are a few things that I think are contributing - but it’s just added up to a great big mess and I’d like to try to stop it/deal with it so I can not be so sad/weepy. Any and all ideas welcome because the brain cells I have are stumped other than taking my ‘as needed’ anti-anxiety meds, but I worry that would just be a bandaid and not a longer term solution.
Contributing factors from most recent to oldest:
1. Worrying over my cat’s health/possibly of her passing. I think I’m overreacting some - she is almost 17, but has been in good health until recently. She’s got a scratch on her paw that I’ve been trying to heal, but my denial/wishful thinking that it was getting better has led to this turning into 2 years of dealing with this. I feel bad because I should have been a lot more aggressive about taking her to the vet. Vet saw her in may, then June. Saw the vet again today because she’s also had a lot of discharge from her eyes as well as the paw, and now she has a heart murmur. We have an aggressive treatment plan for all of these now, along with explicit directions from the vet to be back in 2 weeks. Logic dictates that with meds the cat will be better, and better food has perked her up, along with indoor cats often living into their early 20s… but I don’t deal with the idea of anyone close to me dying well, sooooo… yeah.
2. I generally sleep like crap, and it’s been worse than normal between the adderall and the time change. I guess I need to make more effort to exercise some, and really be firm about going to bed by 9, but we all know how hard it can be to make ourselves do anything, much less when we’re already struggling.
3. Travel - I’ve got 4 trips in the span of a month… they’re all good reasons and I can’t cancel them, but between the effort of the driving (most are 4+ hour drives) and then being around lots of people takes it out of me
4. Being called back into the office: fear of COVID (I’m vaxed, but there are no rules about vax or testing at my company), fear of other illnesses because of co-workers not staying home when they’re infectious (this 18 months of WFH is the longest I’ve ever gone without getting sick, ever), the extra 2.5 hours away from home, the stimulation of dealing with all the interactions with other people… by the 3rd day I was disassociating *hard*. Granted it’s only one week out of 4, but it’s still hard… and the next weeks we’re in office are the week after thanksgiving and the week after xmas - feeding back into my anxiety that co-workers will catch bugs while visiting over the holidays and be infectious before being symptomatic. I’m getting my flu shot and COVID booster this afternoon which will help with some of that.
5. This actually loops back, but nerves about having a heart-to-heart with my manager tomorrow about how much I hated being in office, how pointless it seemed, and ‘hey, so what’s up with the memo from a couple weeks ago about pay restructuring?’
I’m out of spoons… and I don’t even know how to regen. It certainly feels like I haven’t been regenerating spoons, or at least not as fast as I’m using them - and I can’t tell when those spoons are being wasted.
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ADHD
|
I’m not sure if I want to or not. On one hand I don’t want to hurt one of the few people who have any interest in my existence, But on the other m hand I want to be with my boyfriend as long as possible as he will likely be my last.
Sometimes I even have this fucked up thought that it would be nice to have someone mourn over me. I imagine killing myself and then my boyfriend being devastated after hearing the news. I dunno, that’s why I need to kill myself in the first place. A fucked up person who thinks about that kind of shit has no business being around other people.
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depression
|
Good morning. About a year ago I started therapy for what I always assumed was generalized anxiety and OCD. Turns out. Nope. PTSD. And I can’t help but feel guilty about it. Like, why? I didn’t do anything heroic, I was just born into a shitty situation. And now some of my family members want details of how I got it (which I’m obviously sure as shit not gonna tell them!) but I’m starting to see that the one person I always cherished (and still do to this day) helped add to it. I don’t know how to process any of this information. I’m at a loss. I feel guilt, and shame, and relief all at the same time.
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ptsd
|
I don’t know if anyone can relate but I startle incredibly easy. I work in a cubicle and any time a coworker comes by to ask for something and strike up conversation I literally jump. Today I spilled water all over my clothing and then a few minutes ago I banged my tooth on a coffee mug and spilled everywhere _again_ just because a coworker said ‘hi’! Definitely one of the less severe factors of PTSD but it’s so embarrassing. Anyone else get like this?
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ptsd
|
No, it is not. I’m not supposed to be dealing with other people’s bullshit because it can affect me personally. I’m not supposed to have breakdowns every night because of their mistakes and wrong doings. I’m not supposed to get extreme mood swings and be debilitated both mentally and physically, but be the one blamed. It’s up to me to get stronger but it’s not like I have infinite money and time available for therapy and medicine. I want the source of my suffering to stop making me feel like this way, not “coping mechanisms”. Hence why death sound peaceful.
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depression
|
(posting from a throwaway for obvious reasons.)
long story short, when i was a kid, i went through several instances of medical trauma with varying degrees of severity, and other trauma i won't specify. needlessly to say, looking at pictures of syringes and needles is impossible for me, hearing about childhood ilnesses makes me freeze, and the smell of that one specific sanitizer is enough to ruin my whole day. about 2 years ago, i went through cognitive-behavioral therapy to deal with my fear of needles and with that fear only without addressing the actual source(s), since it was necessary for me to get a blood test to keep me on my medication. after over 3 months of therapy, and being held down by 2 people, i finally got it. now, ever since the news about the vaccine being ready, i decided to go back to that same therapist, and asked her whether we could also address the core of the problem, which is the trauma. however, whenever i got emotional over it, she kept dismissing me, and tried to distract me. i felt quite disappointed, and decided to find a new therapist immediately, and now i'm actually recovering, making slow, slow progress.
a few weeks ago, i decided to at least try to go to a vaccination point with my mom, to at least get a look around. we slowly make our way into the lobby, and that's when it hits me. that the place where i almost died in when i was 6. i couldn't even make it to the reception desk. i broke down immediately and had to leave. it's the only place where people in my age group can get vaccinated. i don't know shat to do, i really don't. i feel so horrible, i know i could just close my eyes, maybe try to calm down, but i just can't! last time i had to get vaccinated i had to be held down by *four people!* and still somehow managed to bite one of them in animal-like fear. and even then, i was given as many 'calming' meds prescribed by my psych as i could. they do nothing to me. i went through covid pretty recently, so i still have a month or so until i can get vaccinated, but i'm still so scared. i'll have to go there someday and face that, right?
is anyone here in a similar situation? did you deal with it? can you please, please tell me how?
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ptsd
|
I have this ongoing problem with someone in my life with OCD. The issue is that something will trigger their OCD making them feel compelled to do a bunch of rituals. All these rituals will stress them out, making them angry and overwhelmed.
I want to let them know I understand how bad things are for them and want to support them any way I can. But at the same time I'm going to agree that they HAVE to do the ritual. They may feel compelled to do the ritual but they don't HAVE to do the ritual. If they don't do the ritual, nothing will happen in the world. I can't bring myself to say, "I'm sorry that you HAVE to do this (thing that has no bearing on the real world in any way shape or form)"
Saying "I'm sorry you feel compelled to do this thing" does not help because it comes across as calling the other person crazy. Which, I suppose, in a way, I am. I love this person, but my tolerance for the OCD beliefs and rituals has been worn down to almost nothing.
When someone is in the middle of and OCD triggered state of heightened emotion, how do you support them without validating beliefs that are not in sync the world. Particularly if a lot of the anger gets directed at you.
PS: This person is not being treated for their OCD. They have anxiety around medication and ERP that prevents them from seeking treatment.
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OCD
|
I have a really overbearing friend right now who really is just focused on her own life and expects everyone to revolve around that, which whatever, fine.
But I can’t deal right now. I’m just trying to keep myself alive through this particular episode and I can’t answer to her beck and call.
Any advice on how to word it so I can set boundaries but not be a complete dick?
|
depression
|
This random thoughts are not letting me do anything, i have a very strange OCD in which every morning my mind says me that i have masturbated at night and i have lost my intelligency and power to study whole day for exams and it compels me to relapse and break my streak on no fap application for no reason and because of this thought i run towards bathroom i close the door and i try to check my inner garment whether i have ejaculate or not, but even if i have not. i try to doubt myself and check my garment number of times, if i find some colour difference in my garment then i think that i have ejaculate(i know this sounds meaningless) but i know i have not ejaculate, but those thoughts keeps bumping in my head and frustrate me to do nothing whole day but to think and investigate whole day whether i have ejaculate or not !! If any one of you has the same problem or kind of similar please do share with me.
Please help me guys i need your support.
Thank you
|
OCD
|
I think I'm going to hurt myself tonight . The reason being to feel something . I think . Also because I deserve it . This has been said thousands of times before by hundreds of thousands of others. I'm not special . Pain seems to be the only familiar feeling I know . I want to go through with killing myself soon. Not just talking about it . It's time to step up
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depression
|
i’m trying to read a book for school and i’m now 6 pages in and i couldn’t tell you a single thing i just read. no distractions & i have white noise playing. i’m trying so hard to do this. i’m reading sentences over and over again and still, nothing. this is really detrimental to my grade in this class and i’m so annoyed with myself.
|
ADHD
|
I’m new to the subreddit and was recently diagnosed with OCD. I’ve done a lot of research in the recent months as to how to recover from or deal with OCD, and I’m now in a place where I feel I’m managing it.
I see a lot of people on here struggling and asking for how to get help. There’s so many posts that a lot of it never gets answered. I was in a similar place recently, so I wanted to give a quick tip for those who want to get help but don’t know how so they don’t have to wait to figure it out:
1 - If you’re looking for a therapist or psychiatrist, use the search by location tool on the International OCD Foundation’s website to find OCD-certified or OCD-experienced therapists. This will help ensure you get the right kind of help! Also, zero judgement because these people get OCD.
2 - If there are barriers causing therapy to not be an option for you, a cheaper alternative is to read an OCD workbook. For example, I own “The Complete OCD Workbook, A Step-By-Step Guide to Free Yourself From Intrusive Thoughts and Compulsive Behaviors” by Scott M. Granet LMHC. I got it on Amazon!
Even if this only helps one person, I’ll be glad I posted in here! Good luck everyone, recovery is possible!
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OCD
|
like not giving attention to them, not ruminating, just let them be?
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OCD
|
TL;DR: dropping out of uni temporarily to drive lorries while getting ADHD treatment. Good or bad?
Hi guys, this is more of a general life question so I'm sorry if it's not appropriate for here.
I'll cut to the point, I'm a student (studying History and Politics, so not a high earning degree) and 85% sure I have ADHD, my concentration is absolutely abysmal even though I honestly enjoy my course and its subjects. (I also am a very fidgety, easily distracted person etc, and have been for literally years. When I saw the symptoms of ADHD it was like holyfuckingshit fucks sake lol). Now I have an appointment booked with my GP to get a referral to an NHS specialist, but this will probably take ages, maybe a year.
But the overall point is that I'm in my third year of uni and struggled very much in my second year to the point where I'm worried I'll totally burn out this year. I also work part time in retail and while it's got a standard amount of retail shit, I find it much more fulfilling, though obviously not a good career path - so I'm thinking about dropping out of uni for a year or two, getting on a treatment plan and returning to uni when I'm actually going to enjoy it and be good at it.
Recently the govt announced a scheme (starting next month) where they'll pay for an entire HGV licence training and set you up with a job interview at the end, and I meet all the necessary criteria - FYI I really love driving and have been interested in lorry driving for a little while now. It's not the most glamorous job in the world but pay is decent rn, and with the license being paid for by the taxpayer it seems alright to me.
So what I'm essentially thinking is this - come November, see if I get accepted into the HGV scheme, and if so, do it. I'll then drop out of uni for a year or two, continue working in retail until I get an HGV job, then work as that, while pursuing ADHD treatment. Once I'm in a place where I can do a dissertation without completely killing myself, I'll go back to uni or do it part time. It's also worth pointing out that my girlfriend is moving up to Scotland to do her masters degree and I'd be a bit lost without her or a clear idea of what to so, but I think I could move up with her and continue driving lorries in this case.
I've talked to my dad, my girlfriend and a few people from my work and they all broadly agree this makes sense, am I talking completely out of my arse? Thanks very much if you've got to this point <3
|
ADHD
|
I had a conversation with my abusive mother about the emotional abuse that she has done, she asked why I was mad at her, I said you abused me. it wasn't serious abuse just she did it at the most depressing point in my life. apparently, she forget that she abused me. even that she abused me. even tho I have literally called child services for this reason. we had the police outside our door and everything. I shouldn't be mad, it's repressing the memory but I am mad. idk why
|
depression
|
Nothing.
I hope I can get to the point where I can just hang myself in my closet.
Sleeping is the only respite I get. Because then I'm not existing anymore
|
depression
|
Like even if you know it's stupid and not true, it still like constantly beats down on you and if you feel better for a moment it comes back from another angle.
|
OCD
|
Any tips for going off meds and minimising side effects? I’ve tried various dosages of adderall, vyvanse, Dexedrine, Ritalin and Wellbutrin since being diagnosed with ADHD-C (plus major depression and anxiety) 6 months ago but the side effects : benefits ratio still isn’t good.
I lost 30 pounds which is nice as I’m overweight but overall I feel like my work performance and executive functioning (missing work deadlines, going over budget, messy house, missing appointments, being late, losing my keys inside my apartment etc) is worse and I feel much more depressed, fatigued and physically uneasy on stims.
I think today was the last straw. Woke up, took my vyvanse and Wellbutrin, had an hour of productivity then a huge crash, fatigue, brain fog, intrusive thoughts, pacing around the room, racing between tasks etc.
Would love to hear any advice from others who may have quit meds/tapered off.
Thank you friends.
|
ADHD
|
So, this is my story about a recent blunder of mine, which ended up with a teaching moment. I live in the US, for reference.
TL,DR: Adderall dose stopped working, got refill and took what I thought was double, but ended up taking 4 times the original dose. Ended up few days short on meds, and with a much higher dose of Vyvanse after seeing my doc. Check your prescription label!!!
I've commented here before that I started my treatment for ADHD recently, almost 5 months now. For about 3 of them Adderall 10mg worked wonders - and then it didn't.
After seeing my doctor he recommended to double the dose, just to find if I had developed resistance to it, and prescribed me more. Silly me, new to this monthly prescription limits malarkey, thought he was going to prescribe me enough until the time for my next pick up beginning the month. Fair enough, there were 30 pills in the bottle, and I assumed they were intended for 15 more days of double 10mg dose.
Bear in mind that I'm just going through the motions here, as my brain is too weighed down by everything, and I just don't care much for anything besides videogames (my wife hates me when I'm like this). I go ahead and put the pills in my sorter, just to keep track of them through the week.
Still, no changes on my symptoms after taking 2 off those pills. Still, miserable, dysfunctional me.
Comes the end of those pills and I am getting anxious, because my pharmacy and doctor tell me I am not due for refills for another 10 days. I am going on that my doc gave me just enough to fish the month, which in hindsight makes no sense.
Then, I look at my bottle, and realize my mistake. The pills were a 20 mg dose. I was supposed to be taking 1 of them daily, and I was taking twice the amount prescribed.
40mg of Adderall wouldn't make a dent on my symptoms.
I went to my next appointment and explained the whole mishap to my psych, and he just nodded - I really don't know what went through his head. Anyways, I end up with a bottle of Vyvanse for 70mg daily and a lighter pocket.
Moral of the story: look at your prescription bottle label at least once, it will save you many headaches, anxiety, and embarrassment when you explain why you're short on pills. Or maybe you'll learn that your amphetamines resistance is higher than you expected. I don't know.
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ADHD
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It makes me not want to go outside or talk to anyone ever. When I text people I’m constantly restarting the app or retyping and it’s exhausting. When I’m with people I get intrusive thoughts.
I’ve dug myself a hole and all I ever want to do is play games and stay inside now. Does anyone feel this?
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OCD
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When i looked up the symptoms of autism i found out i was the most exact poster boy of autism that ever was. It's really disheartining to say the least because of it's immuatibility , no matter which acton i take, product i could purchase, behaviour to emulate , any and all forms of self help i could preform to help myself the disabity will always catch up and ruin social and romantic situations .
Any problem which i have faced in life i have searched for and found a solution for most of them grades, employment, personal enjoyment but this problem can't be fixed or solved it will always impede and ruin me and that i believe that is true misery. Hell on earth which has always and will plauge the rest of my and many other's lives which has no forseeable end but death.
If god existed i would punch him in the face for the misery and suffering he had caused so many.
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aspergers
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Hi I wake up before I Know it I'm on the internet searching the same thing over and over everyday I don't know how to stop when I stop thoughts I don't want come in and I end up on the net again I can't even focus at school I think the same thing over and over I know that thing I'm thinking is not true I try to fight the thoughts but they come back everyday 😭please someone advice me😔I can't live like this
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OCD
|
Hello :)
I really think I have ADHD cause of all the symptoms I have and cause I relate to most experiences of people who are diagnosed with it. I ignored the possibility but recently I started university and again it is interfering with my academic functioning and I'm so tired of this cycle so I'm going to a psychiatrist tomorrow.
In case I'm diagnosed I'm afraid about meds; my family has a history of heart diseases and I know stimulants increase heart rates and the chances of getting heart attacks but they are more effective than non-stimulants.
I honestly think I'll start with non-stimulants and if they don't work I'll go with stimulants. I'm just not sure if the doctor will understand this but I really hope he does.
I would like to hear about your experiences when you were diagnosed and how meds went for you.
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ADHD
|
I don't know where to start.
Diagnosed, I have ADHD, Depression, Anxiety (GAD), OCD that seems to come and go depending on my mental stability- and, well, as you might have guessed, PTSD.
I can usually face these disorders well enough, but come November, my mental stability considerably worsens.
I don't really have a family. I can barely speak to the ones who are alive because of past trauma I associate with them- even if they are amicable, my anxiety levels jusy shoot up at the mere *concept* of speaking to them. I can't bring myaelf to face them.
Some were pretty horrible to me, and are reasonably avoided, others were mere bystanders, but it's just enough for me to feel cornered around them.
I don't know how to fix this. I'm medicated, but dropped my antidepressants (SSRI) and antipsychotic meds because they were causing me to be incredibly letharic, and ironically, more depressed. As of now, I only take my sleeping meds and benzos when I have bad anxiety episodes.
I don't know. I guess I'm feeling dread with the Holidays approaching and I don't know what to do.
Anyone else deals with this? How do you cope?
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ptsd
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So I have exams in a few days, it's been really hard to focus but I've managed it so far. Lately, I just can not try to study without having extreme thought spirals that would often lead to full panic. I have to sit down, breathe and watch a cooking video to calm myself (it's very effective). After I've calmed down, I try to go back to studying but all the thoughts come back again stronger than they were. And now I think I'm probably just using this as an excuse to not study. Does anyone have a way to control this? I have so little time so I can't afford to do time consuming methods, I just need that to stop for now and I'll deal with it after my exams.
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OCD
|
I had a few not shitty days and I really thought maybe I was better. Nope. Just hits twice as hard. Also I'm getting a new job. I get to work full time + college. Maybe it'll take my mind off of it or maybe it'll be the final straw. God I hope its the last straw. I want to die.
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depression
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Around 3 years back I was diagnose for symptoms of depression. Never knew what it was and how many among us life with it every day. I honestly did not know how it even start.
The years goes by and all the (positive) energy , creativity has been replaced by emptiness, loneliness , sadness and irritation.
Try several thing but because sleepless night, no energy during the day, the will to life or the will to fight feels so far away or even pointless.
I was wondering if someone in this subreddit, has tips that work for them to fulfill or end the day positive? Is it even possible to get off from this curse or will this nightmare hunt you till the end…?
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depression
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Pretty self explanitory title. Currently living almost 2000km away from everyone i know & my depression is just making the homesickness even worse. Every day when i come home to my apartment i just want to cry for the rest of the night. I’ve contemplated quiting & just moving back several times now But whenever i speak to family or professionals they just tell me to ”Wait it out”. But if this goes on i’m not sure How much more i can take.
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depression
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This is what I don’t understand. I thought Vyvanse would be like dexedrine because in theory it’s the same... right?
I’m prescribed vyvanse. I have always had bad side effects but felt the benefit was still greater. My dr only got authorization to prescribe Vyvanse, Foquest, or concerta.
She was iffy about me switching and I just figured it wasn’t worth the fight. But my friends rx is Dexedrine IR 10mg 2x a day.
I took a med break for 1 day (as I usually do) then the following day took two Dexedrine IR from a friend, one at 7am and one at 1pm. I know this is not right but I needed to know what could work and knew my med had the same active ingredient so figured worth a shot.
Anyways what I found was, the come down was way less significant than Vyvanse. Vyvanse is like a kick-in-the-head by 1 pm for me. I also notice my raynauds that I developed from taking Vyvanse was non existent. I didn’t have to wear gloves all day! I felt in control of my cleaning and my day was well balanced. Vyvanse is the only med I tried so I never realized how severe the side effects were compared to other formulations.
Anyone else experience this? Ofcourse I can’t tell my Dr about my experiment and she can’t prescribe meds like this without it being suggested by a specialist, whom I paid to get into since the wait list is 2 years long so contacting them isn’t an option.
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ADHD
|
I've been lying in my bed for 4 and a half hours, doing the "hey man, don't waste your day off lying in bed doing nothing" thing, and doing the thing where it's like, "boy I sure would like to get out of bed. Now how come I can't make my limbs actually do that," and then I remembered that I left some chocolate on my dresser, and I got up and ate a kit kat, and now I can get on with my day.
Sounding Board! Any of yall been doing something like this consistently? How's it work for you? I figure candy won't work for everybody, so I'd love to see other ideas, too.
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ADHD
|
At work on Thursday, one of the kids did something that I thought was funny. So, I laughed. Then, he proceeds to say, "why did you just do that?" I asked, "what do you mean?" He says, "after I did that, you waited like four seconds and then you were just like HAHAHAHA" and in my mind, I'm thinking about how much I just do this without even noticing and I think it's kind of the funniest thing in the world because when I watch back videos or streams of mine, my comments/laughs are delayed by like 2-3 seconds if I'm responding to something that's happening and I don't even realize until I watch it back. It's not exactly an insecurity of mine, but it is a bit weird.
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aspergers
|
People say follow your dreams but I don't have any except when I'm asleep.
Last night I got and odd dream that in the end made me feel excited, loved and happy.
I haven't felt that while awake in a long time.
And then during that amazing moment everything crashes down, I wake up.
There im laying in bed keeping my eyes closed because I don't want to leave those feelings behind.
But it's already to late the feelings vanished and my mind is on.
I know I'll probably never experience that for real and every night I have a small amount of hope that I won't wake up and get to live happily in my dreams forever.
I guess good fake things are better than bad real things and numbness.
I was wondering if anyone experiences the same.
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depression
|
Do they help? I'm desperately trying to help myself because this time I can really feel myself just slipping away and I feel like it can happen any time now. I want so much to cry for attention but I'm too scared to do it. Please. I feel so done.
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depression
|
Ok this has happened to me my whole life. It’s almost as if I feel disconnected when something should be sad or scared or it’s a delayed sadness. Maybe I just take a lot of time to process things?
Example one: My son passed last year. Long story short he was born early but without amniotic fluid his lungs didn’t develop. During the 7 hours of his life the doctors kept saying he wouldn’t survive but I just kept pushing away my sadness saying he would make it. He obviously didn’t. I cried a little but I was able to push my emotions away to be there for my wife. It wasn’t until his first birthday that I just had a complete breakdown.
Example two: I’m training to be an electrician. Part of this training is learning to climb electrical poles. I didn’t realize I was slightly afraid of heights until I climbed to the top but I was able to push my fear away and focus on the task. I’m one of the best climbers in the class now thanks to this ability of being able to detach from my emotion or you might say ability to distract myself from thinking about it.
Does anyone else do this or am I just crazy? It’s almost as if I can just be numb and not focus on emotions.
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ADHD
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I don't understand who I am or what it means to be me. I don't know what it even means to exist or for the universe to exist. I feel like I have to constantly look for information to help me know who I am. I question my gender and if I'm bi. I don't believe in God but constantly am concerned that I don't know if God exist or not. I'm terrified of death and dying to the point I have panic attacks. My thoughts are often filled with images and thoughts of My death and how horrible it will be and it will be because I did something wrong. I know I need to process these thoughts and feelings but I feel so disturbed all the time and want to check online for information about these topics or look up information about the way I imagined dying. I feel like not looking these things up will cause something horrible to happen. Im so overwhelmed, terrified, and sad.
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OCD
|
Dogs bark at me a lot. Especially smaller dogs. They don't seem to bark at other people as much as they bark at me. I'm not sure, but it definitely feels like they bark at me a lot. And it makes me feel like an outcast whenever it happens because I know they're seeing something about me that doesn't check out all the right boxes with them.
There I am trying to enjoy a walk and some b\*astard will stop in its track to specifically bark at me and it happens every time. Honestly I wish I could put it in its place but I know that will alienate the owner and I have no beef with the owner. BUT FUCK!
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aspergers
|
My father would beat me when I was a kid and as I got older I wouldn't give him a rise and he would scream at me to cry but I wouldn't give him the pleasure.
Ever since I have cried at my sister's funeral and in my ex-wife's arms before we got married and again during our entire wedding ceremony. I thought this was a breakthrough but it was not.
I had to leave my wife. I feel today like I did a year ago when I made her leave. There was nothing wrong with her but something drastically wrong with society today where men are just inherently bad. It flows into everything and I could not continue to progress in life under the circumstances.
You see. A man should turn his pain into power and I have. I'm very successful now and anyone that chooses to take this road is going to be very lonely.
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ptsd
|
I feel like throwing my relationship away, I feel like we go into a viscous cycle and I’m talking to a brick wall. We are both intense people. The arguments we get into are so mean with words, and they remind me of past arguments with past abusers. Not calling him an abuser. I love him but I don’t feel safe. I don’t feel heard. I feel like I’ve put in so much effort in fixing things.
My triggers are one after the other, I feel dissociative, I feel paranoid, I’m irritable and emotional. Smells are the worst triggers for me, I’m more hypervigiliant that working is difficult. Talking to people is difficult. And I feel physically sick.
I haven’t been able to see my therapist in a while which sucks, my dr put me on lamictal recently.
I feel like I’m stuck in limbo, I feel self destructive. At the same time I’m trying to beat old coping habits.
Edit sleeping also sucks bc the nightmares. Flashbacks. Even tho it’s just a dream they are always vivid. I feel like I ca t get a break. Trying not to turn to substances or other harmful things that use to help temporarily. I just want to be gone for a while.
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ptsd
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I think it might be because I am so afraid that the person I'm talking to might think what I have to say is stupid. When I know the person better, my thoughts flow much better. When I'm talking to new people, especially about something I'm not too interested in, I feel and sound like a robot. It really sucks when I can tell the other person isn't interested or in the worst case, has a problem with what I say to put me in a state of paralysis where my points become an immovable force in my brain.
This is a problem now especially because I want to get back into dating.
Perhaps it may be better to avoid topics that may be a bit controversial or complex at least in the beginning so my emotional dysregulation is in check. Any other tricks to work around this?
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ADHD
|
I dont get the NT mindset. we see everything as black and white. so we tend to be honest (alongside so many other traits, but i'll focus on this one for the example), and when we get criticised or 'corrected' for feeling a certain way that confuses us. does that mean neurotypicals just live with the lies, like it doesnt faze them that they dont know everything. or like a movie, lets say you try to work out who the actor is, NT's dont research this persons whole life and past scandals and rumours and everything????? like i found out that hitler has a sister and i fell into that rabbit hole and now i know everything there is to know about paula wolff. i just dont understand.
sorry if none of that made sense. im just so confused, and i use we/us a lot but if you have different experiences then tell me about them! i dont mean to invalidate your experiences, autism is a spectrum. have a nice day
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aspergers
|
This may sound familiar, but I’m just trying to relax, watch a YouTube video. Then I get bored, look at my Twitter, close out of that, look at my discord, sometimes look at my email or weather. Look up something random like “best ways to beat depression” and then go back to the video. Am I just addicted to stimulation? Is there ways that can help me be more present? I’ve had adhd my whole life, but only now am I really coming to terms with it and learning more about it and how to deal with it than just “here take some medicine”. I’m open to comments or advice, and thank you for reading.
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ADHD
|
I’ve been extremely depressed since my bf (21) and I got together two years ago. We went through a really rough patch for the first year of our relationship and it’s traumatic for me. I feel like the life has been sucked out of me. My boyfriend is very unhappy in our relationship. He constantly says that he’s bored because I don’t want to do anything. I can barely get myself to go to work, let alone go out and do things. He knows this. I feel bad because this makes him suffer. Because of my ADHD i have a hard time making decisions, being paralyzed with anxiety about everything, taking initiative, etc. I have been trying for months to improve and change and nothing is working. How do you get yourself to go do things? How do you be a good partner when you have adhd? Help!
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ADHD
|
I've been on depression and mental health subreddits for a long time and I see a lot of the top rated comments or stories that seem very different from my experience
For example in countless places I see the advice of exercise, people say that exercise will treat depression but depressed people are tired to do so and other people say exercising at least 30 min a day will make you a lot better and there are some stories that overcame depression by exercise alone
I do weight lift 6 times a week and do 30 min of cardio 3 times a week yet I don't feel any difference at all.
Or a lot of other people saying that finding a purpose or fun hobby helped them a lot even one guy said he cured his depression by learning guitar. This seems very illogical to me isn't the inability to enjoy hobbies (anhedonia) a symptom of depression? If these people could enjoy things doesnt that mean they werent depressed to being with? Im confused.
And there are countless people view depression as just overreactivity to negative life events and many depressed people said that pills helped them be realistic in their emotional reaction. I don't understand exactly whats depression but most people seem to view it as persistent sadness and negative thinking and so it's just a temporary feeling that comes and go.
But that's really different from my experience my depression isn't negative thinking or anxiety but rather I became lifeless joyless no interest in doing anything and my pleasure is impaired I can't enjoy foods or music anymore I can't feel love for my partner I can't enjoy shows or video games and I'm so numb I can't even be angry anymore.
Thats how my mental illness feels and I thought its depression but as time passes im beginning to think its something else
Like many people tell me to work on the "root cause" or seeing a therapist or changing my environment/work but I don't know how that's related to my condition I don't why I have these symptoms or what caused them I don't have a reason to be depressed or "root cause" that started the problem. So they make me doubt if I even have depression because If I actually have depression then why don't these advice help me?
And scientifically speaking many papers claim that depression is highly treatable and antidepressants/therapy have high success rate yet for these 2 years I've probably been on every drug and supplement on the planet yet nothing has helped me at all if depression is highly treatable why nothing works for me? Am I one of the worst cases in history?
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depression
|
im 16m and the last month has been very upsetting for me on the 15th of november i seen a video on tik tok about a non offending p*do and how he couldnt wait to die and his life is full of misery,i felt empathy for him first just at how he wishes to die i didnt think anything off it until later i went to the gym with my friends and started thinking would my friends still be friends with me if i was a p*do and since that moment i have obsessed with this
i havnt been diagnosed with ocd but for aslong as i can remember i have been asking my mom does she still love me everyday without failure, i also have been obsessed with my health thinking im going to die, one week over this summer i was dead certain i was going to have a heart attack and i was obsessing about it the point were i lost 7 pounds from under eating and constantly excersing thinking i could stop the heart attack this has happend before various other times with different conditions i self diagnoise myself
i never have seen children like that before and never want 2 i have struggled with porn addiction alot but never anything illegal or even sujesting i’ve always admired older women
or my age but mind is making me think other wise i have worked close to children before and never had any urges or intrusvie thoughts i still dont up until seeing that video ive have always had crushes my age and even a girlfriend my age who i liked alot even since i was like 10 i had crushes on the likes of selena gomez and other celebs hahaha
i still dont have any urges but since seeing that video it feels like what i was once attracted to has gone and i dont know who i am anymore, my intrusive thoughts consits of “what if im a p*do” “what if im in denial” this really upsets me because i have always wanted kids of my own someday
i told my mother about everything and she said in todays current world with covid it’s completely normal for me to fear stuff and she was argening a terapist for me to speak to no joy yet on finding one
this is so stupid if even makes me sad how im afraid of being like this
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OCD
|
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