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I don't know if this is a common thing but I HATE STAIRS AND DOORS!
Reasons why I hate stairs: I get confused about which step is coming next. They blur together and this can cause me to trip. I feel like I'm going to combust sometimes because I get so overwhelmed.
Reasons why I hate doors: I always struggle to open and close them or lock and unlock them. The doorknobs are rarely consistent, the directions in which they move changes. It takes me forever to figure out how to lock or unlock them. I used to find my 10-second delay at opening the door to be embarrassing and frustrating, but now it's just frustrating.
Does this happen to anyone else???
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aspergers
|
My mom's relationship isn't good and hasn't been good for many years. My dad was an abusive alcoholic and ik that he really fucked with her head when they were tg, he passed when I was 11. During the pandemic, I dropped out of Uni and I've been bouncing back and forth from binge eating to ana as time goes on. I'm currently unemployed, out of college, and living at home with someone who doesn't know how to have kind arguments or disagreements, my mom. Yesterday, we disagreed about something really minor and her tone started getting really aggressive so I asked if she could calm down and use a better tone and she told me not to talk to her then bc "That's just how she talks". So today, I was talking to her as little as possible; short and simple responses to questions and not going out of my way for conversation unless necessary. An hour ago she asked me why I wasn't talking to her so I told her it was because I don't want to talk to someone who isn't gonna treat me with respect. A fight started and at the end, I started crying and told her I want to kms and that I'm starving myself and no one cares, not even her. Ofc, she started getting mad and defensive saying that there's no way she could've known (even though I've had EDs in the past and I've lost a significant amount of weight since the summer), AND last Christmas, I had a huge breakdown in front of my family which resulted in my mum and I talking about how I was, and still am, depressed and the jokes from my siblings about me dropping out of uni REALLY affected me. I tried to tell her that I can't talk to her about anything because she always brushes me off or thinks I'm being dramatic when something is really wrong. I stormed to my room after the fight and I think my mum feels bad now. She keeps coming to my door to ask if I want tea and asking random shit about things I had previously told her I was interested in, which she brushed off at the time of me telling her.
I feel so trapped in this house. My family treats me like I'm a timebomb waiting to go off and go on some drug binge (even though I have never been interested in experimenting and I drink once a month) so going anywhere starts with a drug and alcohol lecture. I also slightly blame my family for my body dysmorphia bc my mom always told me I needed to lose weight and my brothers always made fun of me for my weight (just kid stuff generally). I also think that I could be an aspie but my family would laugh in my face and tell me I'm wrong if I ever tried to tell them. Every idea I have about my future or where I want to go gets instantly shut down and I feel like I'm just really stuck. I'm applying for college again this year and I really think that will be my only escape.
I'm not going to kill myself right now though so I hope my mom isn't too worried. My dad (the abusive alcoholic) left a decent sum of inheritance money and I would like to use that money to see the world before I die. I really hope Covid fucks off this year bc there are still too many travel advisories for me to do what I want to do. Maybe by the end of my world tour, I can find happiness in the world and I won't feel the need to end my life.
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depression
|
Hi there, I was just wondering if anyone had any advice about how to deal with ocd associated with perfectionism and feelings of completion.
I recently graduated, and have had to go through hours of intricate and complex routines and compulsions, in order for myself to feel the satisfaction and feeling of completion. I initially did feel the satisfaction, but my brain tells me that I didn’t do something quite right, or not enough, or it wasn’t quite perfect, so I’m left feeling on edge with the feeling that it’s going to bug me for the rest of my life. This thought really annoys me, because I can’t seem to shake it off or just move on from it. So I spend more hours trying to get things just right, and a few days later after some nice relaxation and peace of mind, my brain comes up with another compulsion I’m compelled to do that I can’t really move on from.
I was just wondering if anyone had any tips on how to deal with these feelings of dissatisfaction, and the anxiety that I will never be able to properly relax after graduating if I don’t do all these compulsions in a certain way. Has anyone else had this problem? Does anyone have any advice? That would be amazing if someone did have any tips or advice that might help.
Thanks ^ - ^
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OCD
|
Sorry if this kind of post isn't welcome here. I'll remove it if it isn't. For context, I'm 23 F and I'm realizing that a lot of the things I'm experiencing align with ADHD/ADD so I'm starting to think I should get evaluated. Anyways I have a few questions for people who were diagnosed as adults...
1. I'm looking at psychs that take my insurance, but was there anything specific you looked for when going to see someone?
2. How did you tell them about your concerns or ask for an evaluation? I'm scared of going in and being written off. Tbh I'm scared that they'll tell me that it's all in my head and they'll think I'm just lazy and looking for excuses.
3. Another thing that worries me is seeing that they'd need a history of my behavior as a child? Can anyone tell me what this means? Is it just talking about potential symptoms during childhood or does there need to be some kind of actual medical history? Because as a kid whose mental health was always ignored, the only physical thing I could show them would be my school grades tanking.
4. Lastly, I haven't worked or gone to school in years for reasons I won't get into here. But will that affect my ability to be diagnosed? In other words, if I can't tell them how I behave in a work/school setting right now, will that affect whether or not they can even diagnose me? Was that necessary when you were evaluated?
Anyways thank you for reading if you have, and honestly, any input at all would help put my mind at ease. I think I'm gonna try to start seeing someone soon. I've always felt like I was just too lazy, stupid, or incapable to do anything with my life and I'm tired of feeling that way. It's like no matter how hard I try I can't do anything right and I just wanna fix it.
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ADHD
|
I've been working on self improvement for over a year now. I really hit a breakthrough a month or so ago. However when I get burnt out I notice myself regressing back to my old depressed self. but I can't always stay busy or focused or continue studying because my brain needs significant rest. What are appropriate ways to handle this?
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aspergers
|
To start, I’ve self-diagnosed myself with ADHD and I understand that’s tricky/stupid but I’d be shocked if I was wrong.
I never considered it when I was younger (I’m 24M) because of a close friend who was very hyperactive and I am a very calm person on the surface. My symptoms are all internal - lack of focus, racing thoughts 24/7, can’t hold a conversation without interrupting, ridiculously impulsive, bad substance abuse, borderline crippling anxiety, etc.
When diving into ADHD over the last year or so I was stunned at the way things I’ve always felt but never been able to put into words were being described. I came to find out that my dad has been diagnosed with ADHD for some time now, and when I last visited I tried some of his adderall - it blew my mind.
I could speak to random people without overthinking it, I was able to have the ridiculous work ethic I’ve always wanted, I slept better, I was so calm. But then I would crash harder than ever when I stopped taking it.
Since I’ve gone home I’ve resorted to street adderall while going through the process of getting diagnosed. I had my first meeting and they said my depression/anxiety symptoms need to be brought done from moderate/servere to mild before they can give an ADHD test…. lol
My issue is that I don’t want to stop taking the street adderall and deal with the crash & all too familiar streaky unproductiveness that comes with it.
I have a therapy appointment in a little over a week as the next medical step, the first of five. What do i do in the meantime?
TLDR: I’ve experienced what it’s like to be capable of being the person I’ve always wanted to be and don’t want to wait weeks/months for official an diagnosis in the same horrible state as before.
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ADHD
|
I have OCD and have from an early age.
Now in my 30s I’m trying to learn how to manage and understand it better.
I am finding that when I’m stressed/upset things get much worse (no surprises there, I know), but have noticed that when I observe myself in such a state, the underlying obsessive idea is that if I can just do everything ‘perfectly’, then I am not worthless and can prove to those who matter to me that I am worthy of their time/love etc…
This translates to doing the housework perfectly, cooking perfectly, waiting on my husband hand and foot, communicating with family and friends perfectly, taking care of the baby perfectly, getting straight A’s at university, planning perfect family outings, losing all the baby weight quickly, being a fun spouse rather than worn down and tired… the list goes on… then I might be worthy. But not before.
That’s said, I know intellectually that there’s no such thing as perfection, but this is what goes around and around in my head and anything short of that mythical perfection means I am worthless…
Can anyone relate..?
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OCD
|
So for the last 4 years, I've had pretty bad symptoms involving obsessions with thoughts I can't quite get over or come to terms with which are extremely troublesome in nature. Because of this, my nervous system is constantly hypervigilant and in a state of a very nervous fight or flight. This in turn makes every night almost impossible to sleep unless I sedate myself through strong medications. It's horrible. I don't know what to do or how to make it better, I've just about tried it all, but I'm wondering if anyone else experiences this kind of phenomenon? It's like I'm constantly beyond nervous, then the thoughts pop up all throughout the day like little demons and when this happens my body shoots adrenaline up from my solar plexus area, up through my body to my head, or so it feels. This keeps the cycle going over and over. Am I the only one in the universe experiencing this? No one else has any idea what it could be or how to stop it. I'm also not sure if it's trauma and my overactive nervous system creating the obsessions or vice versa. Thanks in advance :)
PS: I posted this in a few other threads. Not trying to be annoying, just desperate.
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ptsd
|
One of the hard things about having a special interest is that it makes the brain prioritize on consuming that special interest as a form of mental malnutrition. When watching trailers for upcoming releases, I may have accidentally wind up developing a special interest for that franchise or standalone product when I don't have the means of access to it. Especially when it's not even close to being released.
This causes me to have some burnout because I ignore the plate of content that I haven't finished and zero in on something that I don't have or doesn't exist. Basically, I run the risk of getting spoiled for all the content I already have access to in my library and it's driving me crazy.
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aspergers
|
Over the course of a few weeks, I've been having an escalating feeling of dread, terror, and hopelessness, particularly regarding the future. My greatest fear has always been to be forgotten, and I've been coming to the realization that I'm not good enough at anything to make a name for myself with or make a living with. The idea of barely being able to afford to exist, and never being able to afford to pursue my aspirations or have kids, something I desperately want, is terrifying. Couple that with climate change doomsday probably coming before I turn 50, and I am petrified of the future. I'm slowly having more vivid thoughts of suicide, not seeing a point in living just to work for peanuts until the end of humanity, and watching everything I've worked for crumble, and I know that these thoughts are going to get worse, and that frightens me, yet I feel like I have no one to turn to for help.
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depression
|
like i’m trying to read but i have this weird thing where i’m so focused ON focusing that i can’t focus (lmfaooo like i can’t just be all there) and ill be trying not to think about my intrusive thoughts or obsession but ill be trying to do that at the same time as reading so i can’t enjoy the book.
does anyone have tips on how to help focus?
also you are all strong and valid and amazing🤍🤍🤍🤍
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OCD
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What are some cbt tips and tricks that help you cope with your ocd?
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OCD
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Like I have been recoverig very well from my real event ocd which included many different real events, it was horrible. I'm doing better but now I can't get off my mind that I have to go to prison/ it is unfair that I'm not in prison. Mostly because I can't grade what I have done, Idk whether these things are truly horrible and irredeemable or if it's just my ocd. I feel like the worst and I thought I've been recovering but this feels more like a moral question. My main anxiety every single day is waiting to get caught :(
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OCD
|
So I'm a 15 year old female & I'm not sure if I have OCD or anxiety, because I haven't gotten help yet but I will soon. I figured in the meantime I could ask people here if it happens to them. So idk if they're like intrusive thoughts but sometimes my mind will start thinking about doing something bad even though I wouldn't actually want to do it. I then start getting paranoid that I could've possibly done it even though I know deep down I haven't. It's like my mind just intentionally thinks of me doing something bad that I'd seriously regret, so that then I get paranoid and overthink & then I convince myself that I have done it. People in other subreddits before haven't been super nice about it, but I thought people here would be the most understanding. Thank you.
Edit: and when I first think of something, I have to immediately right down in the notes on my phone that I didn't do it. Otherwise, my mind won't stop and it becomes an obsession
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OCD
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twice i tried to make a promise to God that i will not smoke again and a punishment was asked in case breaking the promise.
I made the promise in order to force myself stop the addiction. is the promise valid? can it be canceled? i asked many times for all promsies to be canceled.
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OCD
|
I need some positivity right now and remembered wondering from years ago. I'd love to hear others stories of finding someone who shared your special interest or even just a positive experience you had being autistic.
Here's mine:
Years ago I was having a lot of health problems and was in and out of the hospital. It was especially hard when my son was a baby because I missed him so much and I hated sitting in my hospital bed thinking of everything I was missing out on or how much pain I was in. One day I wasn't feeling great and was trying to distract myself with my special interest: mysteries. I was lying in bed and watching a show on my phone. It wasn't Unsolved Mysteries, but it was something similar that I hadn't seen before.
I hear a knock at the door and a woman introduces herself and says she's with housekeeping. She starts to clean when she looks over at my phone and sees what I'm watching. She tells me she loves the show and asks what episode I'm watching. We ended up talking about various mysteries the whole time she worked and she told me about some great stories I hadn't heard before. She was so genuinely excited about the topic that I find her really easy to talk to and it completely brightened my mood. I got to go home a couple days later and didn't see her again, but I bet she continues to make a difference for patients with her kindness and work ethic. I don't remember much about that hospital stay, but I remember how she made me feel better during a difficult time.
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aspergers
|
A year or so ago, I started having difficulty breathing and various pains all over my body.
I felt like I couldn't take a full breath. Like it was getting stuck somewhere in my chest. Every now and then, I managed to pull my breath through, and this would bring me (very temporary) relief. But more often than not, I couldn't achieve this full breath and would feel extremely anxious.
I became very obsessed with this sensation. I couldn't focus on the world around me. I couldn't sit down in one place. I had to quit my job. I researched non-stop. I went to every type of doctor available, and no one could tell me what was wrong. I did all kinds of workouts and exercises, thinking it was a physical problem.
At one point, I became so exhausted that I began to have passive suicidal ideation. I was at an ultimate low. How could I sustain this life?
But I was also growing suspicious about the true nature of this issue. I started writing a log of everytime this ailment would be amplified and when it would disappear. Whenever I played guitar, for example, it would momentarily disappear.
I thought all this was a bit strange, and knowing ive had OCD tendencies in the past, I started looking it up. It made so much sense when I discovered such a thing as "Sensorimotor OCD."
But I don't always believe it. It's really easy to buy into the illusion. It's not OCD. Its a real breathing problem. It's real pain.
The last thing I wanted to do was sit still and meditate, but I eventually brought myself to do it and confront this feeling but not react to it with my reassurance seeking compulsions. It was difficult.
But slowly but surely, I began to understand the true nature of this. My obsessive mind. My obsessive mind that desires control, because it's afraid of surrendering to the life that has inflicted so many microtraumas on it throughout. The constant fight or flight. This well-meaning but destructive protective mechanism.
I continued this practice of feeling my obsessions but not reacting to it. I suppose mindfulness meditation and exposure response therapy have some parallels in this way.
Eventually, I began to calm down. When the illusion of my obsessions would flare up, I wouldn't give it the weight of truth. And then they'd simmer down after some time.
Today, I feel at ease. I feel more or less at peace. It doesn't control my life. My life is beautiful actually, despite the occasional flare ups of this that can still happen. Simply knowing the true nature of my condition and understanding how to healthily relate and act in response to it has changed my life dramatically.
I am very happy to say that I feel relief. A relief I didn't think possible when I was at my lowest.
For anyone who is suffering from what feels like a breathing ailment, pains in your body, or any other obsession – it can definitely get better. It's just hard to see it when you're at your low.
Remember - the answer isn't finding some temporary reassurance on the outside. It's inside of you. Your thoughts. That's the source.
The mind is a super super powerful thing. One of the most powerful things. It can create pain. It can tell you something matters so much when it doesn't. It literally forms your reality. Do not underestimate it.
Don't buy into its illusion when it doesn't serve you. You have the capability of transcending its narratives. Those narratives aren't you. Go beyond its story.
You can be okay. And you will be okay.
Sending love to you,
A fellow mind.
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OCD
|
i’m not really sure how to explain this. My brain made me believe where i was sexually assaulted had lockers on the wall, but in reality they’re not there. I feel like I might be making up where I was assaulted and even if i was. But I know it happened. Whenever i have flashbacks to the event there’s lockers. I don’t know what to believe.
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ptsd
|
my mom told me she regrets having me and threatened to cut my head off because i told her its best if everyone just wash their dishes the minute they're done with it instead of stockpiling them and waiting for someone to wash them. somehow everything always end up being my fault.
|
aspergers
|
So me and a ex are working things out (i messed everything up before) and i really love her still but i have terrible nightmares from my leo career and im freaking out cus i had a nightmare that a gang banger brokevin and killed her. I know odds are ahes busy and or sleeping as she does have a toddler but i c as nt help but be terified still any advice?
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ptsd
|
Anyone else find it hard to go out with anyone because of there intrusive thoughts?
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OCD
|
I just always feel so on edge, and i’m constantly flooded with messed up thoughts, so it makes me quite irritable, and sometimes I’ll say something rude without even realizing it.
I also struggle to be empathetic when I hear about something bad happening. Sometimes I do get glimpses of it, but not often.
Does anyone else experience this?
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ptsd
|
I want to be able to watch shows and read books, but I can’t. My mind doesn’t know how to pay attention. It would be so cool if it did. It really sucks being this way.
|
OCD
|
I've been having debilitating anxiety for the last 2 months. I've had crazy anxiety before, where I would get agoraphobia and thinking I'm dizzy because "the earth is spinning too fast" crazy stuff like that, the anxiety would be present 24/7 for 2-6 months.
Recently I got anxiety while I'm in a 9 year relationship. And my anxiety got revolved around my gf that I live with, this is the craziest thing I've ever experienced. I've did research and it's something called "retroactive jelousy" its bassicly an OCD where a partner gets fixated about your parners past. I've NEVER been a jelous person. And I started freaking about about things that I knew about her past all 9 years, that didnt bug me what so ever. I kept seeing constant images in my head of them performing sexual acts, they be on 24/7, Its not the images that bug me, it's the anxiety response I get from it. I got paranoid to the point that her ex bf drove a certain car, when I would see a car in would get severe anxiety, then it started about the race the people were. Now everytime I see a certain race, I get massive anxiety, it got so bad that, if I see a "pen" I see a penis, even when I would run the faucet to wash my hands and the water would splash, I would picture cum.
It's gotten so bad I haven't watched tv or relaxed, even in my dreams I see her performing sexual acts and I wake up in cold sweat, and my mind continues racing without control. When I see my GF feel insane anxiety. When she talks to me I only reply to her by "yes and no" because my mind just completely loses control and I feel like collapsing.
Guy I need serious help, wtf is going on with me. Is this all a delusion I'm having from severe anxiety? The anxiety isnt stopping, I dont know how much more I can handle. I went to the ER yesterday and they prescribed me xanax. I've never taken antidepressants, I was always scared of them but at this point will they even help me? My anxiety made me so delusional to the point I thought my gf is going to sleep with all my friends, and she's been a loyal gf for 9 years. I'm so scared to lose her because of this. What is going on with me. Please someone help, this anxiety is so overwhelming, I'm scared I'll have to let her go to feel sane again. Please help.
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OCD
|
I took .25mg Xanax an hour ago, is it safe to take 1mg prazosin before I go to bed tonight?
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ptsd
|
He goes into work late today and I'm doing my morning browsing and he initiated touching because he was aroused and I got really panicked and froze up - being kissed lightly on the back and similar loving advances were just too much, the sensation did not feel good. Also sometimes an extended embrace feels like being trapped. He's really hurt I know although he understands and does NOT want me to feel bad. I feel guilty because I know it feels like rejection to him and he feels guilty for persisting and making me uncomfortable. I feel like utter shit and he does too, in addition to him feeling rejected.
|
ptsd
|
No order to these, just things I wish I had learned earlier than I did. Sorry if some of them are regurgitated from my replies in other posts, I just felt like they should all be in one post:
1. **If your medication isn't working the way you'd like, don't be afraid to suggest adjusting the dose.** I was diagnosed in 1993, in the fourth grade, and in my school career I have been diagnosed nearly everything but always at the same dose: 30mg. For some people, that's too much. For others, not enough. It had never been suggested that the dose be adjusted, so I always just assumed the doc knew best. I gave up on medication around my junior year of high school and didn't look back for another 18 or so years, when I realized that I wasn't achieving my fullest potential at work. I decided that I needed to land a promotion or risk working for people who I really did not want to work for. Well, I started with 10mg Adderall and fine-tuned until I got to 20mg. Not only does it help me on most days at work, I landed that promotion and I actually kind of enjoy my job a little more than I ever have.
2. **The key to making good habits for future-you is to really take time to thank yourself when you did good.** Put your wallet, keys, phone, and a pen all in the same place. Do it at night, well before bed, but at a time that you know you're in for the night. Or do it right now. Seriously. If you're home right now, put those things in that spot. Stop thinking about it and actually do it. "But I know where those things are right now" NO stop justifying why you shouldn't, and please just take the time to do it right now. Now when you leave the house and you know where those things are, take time to actually thank yourself for doing that. The more times you say "oh, thanks for doing that, self" the more likely it will become a habit.
3. **When people tell you that ADHD isn't a real thing, you will not convince them otherwise.** I generally default to sarcastically referring to the person as "Dr. (Lastname)". Or asking what school they got their PhD from. Ideally, I just avoid the conversation altogether by not telling people, but I understand this isn't always easy.
4. **Carry a pocket notebook, calendar, or at least a folded piece of paper, and a pen.** Sometimes just writing down something important is enough to remember it later, so make it a point to have something to write on and write with. If you followed through with tip #2, then add that pocket notebook or paper to your spot right now.
That's all I got this morning, brains. Might edit later if I think of more.
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ADHD
|
Hi guys, first time posting here. I'm basically looking into moving out of my current place to a place that would allow me to attain and maintain a much healthier lifestyle (sleeping habits, late night activities etc.) but before I even start looking, I was wondering if this would even work ? I feel like it would since I've had an experience similar to what I am looking for when I was in shared housing but that was a little different since there were house rules there and all. Thanks again for the help!!
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ADHD
|
I am very depressed. I have been for many years. I have wished I was dead more days than not for the past half decade. Depression is the worst thing in the world, no doubt in my mind. When I have severe feelings of pain when things are good it is like a war breaking out in a beautiful meadow. When I have the same feelings when times are tough it is like a war on top of another war. Going through life the only real and genuine way I have found to dealing with my depression in the long term is through avoidance. Avoidance sounds unhealthy but sometimes it is the right thing to do. When you do not want to deal with your emotions you can distract yourself, and sometimes by the time you finish your bad emotions are gone. What happens if they never go away? What happens when avoidance stops being a cure and instead becomes a painkiller? You start overdosing on painkillers. You start being fun and happy and make jokes every chance you get. You smile and laugh, and you get people to smile and laugh with you. In those moments, when you are the popular one, the confident one, the one people want, the pain goes away. For most people that feeling would carry on, but for me when the music stops, the demons in my head come back. The second I walk out of a door to go home I am either exhausted, drunk or wanting to kill myself.
Painkillers are good though, right? Even if it is not the end all solution it is better than nothing, right? The problem is that once you build that mask of who you are, it is hard to go back. If you want to reach out to someone, you can’t have it both ways. Are you going to be popular and feel relief, or annoy people and maybe find a way out of all of this? After years of trying to get out of this, I’ll stick with the relief for now.
But what happens when it gets worse? Because believe me, it is getting worse fast. What happens when you are so hooked on relief that you can’t find a remedy? I am not focusing on getting better, I am focused on getting my drug. I want to break that cycle, but I’ll probably take 4 more hits tomorrow and go to bed.
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depression
|
I have chronic PTSD, both from CSA and being involved in an emotionally abusive and financially exploitative relationship (5 years ago). I also have a history of Biploar 1 disorder.
​
I am currently married and have one son. He is 18 months old. I have made a lot of progress recently; I went to a psychiatric clinic for weekly IM ketamine injections. I did a series of eight and just finished my last one, last week. I have found myself to be overall less restless and more at peace with who I am since before the treatment.
​
What I can't seem to get past, however, is a strong defensiveness and irritability. In my subconscious, whenever my ideas are challenged or something doesn't seem right, I assume my husband or others want to "get the better of me" and that no one is on my side. I don't understand why I have such a strong tendency to do this, but I do. I am just so frustrated about this, and it is really affecting my self-esteem. Why can't I just be calm, and trust that people are NOT out to get me? I don't see myself as an "angry person" but more and more, this is how I feel about myself each time I can't control my impulse to become defensive.
​
Does anyone else have to deal with these issues? I have been doing so much better since the once weekly ketamine therapy finished last week. I just can't seem to shake this defensive/irritable anger. I have also noticed that on peak anger days, I end up getting bad nightmares that following night. Like a woman getting her head cut off over and over again, violent or scary things. I seem to be doing so much better in other areas, but I am so frustrated that the injections helped me with everything except this.
​
Does anyone have any experience with this? I am trying to take a step back when I get frustrated, instead of reacting, just trying my best to breathe. I tend to say things out of anger almost impulsively which I do recognize is not helpful, at all. Any other ideas would be helpful. Thank you.
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ptsd
|
For years now my dad has been the subject and trigger of the worst intrusive thoughts I've ever dealt with. If I don't visit my family for weeks, my mind us clear. But when I visit and interact I am back to square one. It is excruciatingly frustrating. I try to rinse my brain with experiences and interactions with people that represent a contradiction to him. It's so bad that due to my misophonia, and how he horribly triggers it, all I have to hear or say is a word that ends in ip like hip, or tip, and a horrible deluge of intrusive thoughts that are consciousness and state pf mind warping ibvade my mind. I would pay any amount of money to not experience this. It's so bad that for example let's say I had a gf and ahe wanted to have sex. If I visit my folks or talk to my dad or say those words before hand, it will do to my ability to enjoy and genuinely experience the experience, what breaking a marathon runners legs before a marathon will do to his ability to run.
99 percent of the human race will never understand me. And again, I would rather have a clear mind and walk on fucking crutches, than walk free but have these thoughts. For a few months the thoughts went away, and other than lately, has been lessening. But then the guilt associated with non communication sets in and so I sacrifice my sanity to quote on quote "be a good son." Fuck this shit. I just want to be mentallu free again. For the one millionth time. But I know this will never end or it will consume and end me.
|
OCD
|
I struggle with intrusive negative automatic thoughts, I have chronic depression, trauma chronic anxiety and I also have OCD. Is there any medication for all of that? 😭
|
OCD
|
Does anyone else avoid looking at messages?
I avoid messenger like the plague because It’s stresses me out and
I really suck at saying no.
I will decline an offer to hang out but often time I just rather ignore the message, because people guilt trip me and ask too many questions (which often leads to me to start lying/me getting really pissed off)
like a of mine, I really don’t feel like hanging out that often these days (as of now at least) but he keeps asking if I want to hang out like every other day, then I eventually feel as if I have to say yes because I’ve said no so many times.
It drives me kinda nuts to be honest
|
aspergers
|
When it comes to anything that requires sustained effort and meeting a deadline, the quality of the content can have three modes, right?
1. With painstaking perfection
2. Barely on time and obviously rushed
3. Nonexistent
This, combined with a seemingly unavoidable inability to see things through, has made school exceptionally difficult. This is my second attempt at finishing my undergrad and I'm constantly terrified that something in my brain will just shut off and I'll completely drop the ball *again* and that will be it for my education.
There's a class I'm taking right now that I'm actually thriving in. It requires creativity to get the assignments done and I've been able to tap into that and *then* fall into hyperfocus for hours on end getting every detail just right. I'm making good work. The feeling is new and great. BUT the end of the semester is now approaching and the final project is all that remains. My whole life, it's always been great start --> disappointing ending, and I feel like now I've set the standard too high. My creativity is so fickle and unreliable, I'm afraid it's gone away with the pressure. I just *really want*, for this one class, this one time, to just be consistently great all the way through. How will I be able to finish college and be successful professionally if I can't even get through this? It would have been easier to put in mediocre work but damn it feels so good to be proud of something.
​
tl;dr My creativity is fickle, as is my drive to see things through. Usually I buckle under the pressure and run away by the end. Any advice on how to not do that?
Thanks for letting me rant. :)
|
ADHD
|
i'm 24 (and still live with my parents) and i'm weaning off olanzapine due to tremors since like a week ago. however, pretty recently i developed a sidewalk/avoiding cracks compulsion that i've felt really self conscious about. before i was practically pure-o. now i have to tell my dad, but i just feel ashamed.
|
OCD
|
I (26M) got diagnosed last year, ADHD primarily inattentive. I started my treatment a month ago, and I'm now noticed how much of my life was me just trying to survive throughout the day... In the past month I'm trying to collect 26 years worth of ADHD debt and somehow make up for it, but all I got is my unqualified ass.
* I never learned a trade
* I never got to finish to read a book because my ADHD, I would just bore my self at the end of page 10.
* I went to collage 3 times already only managed to pull 1 year each time.
My wife is currently providing for both of us but I want to be a functioning adult as well. I want to have a monthly income as well.
In my adulthood I always made money appear out of nowhere, I always created my own jobs using my hyperfixations but now I moved to a first-world-country and this magic formula doesn't work anymore... where the minimum requirement is a bachelors degree and all I have is the experience that I had for short periods of time monetizing my hyperfixations.
Where I'm living higher educations cost 7500 euros per semester. (its free for the citizens, but as I'm a foreigner I have to pay for it.) To be able to pay for it you need a job. To have a job you need Education.
I tried to work on a warehouse to try to fix this... first day at work they put me to carry heavy boxes (more than the legal limit, to try to break the new guy), got yelled at for every seconds that I stopped working, got cursed in so many languages... they made me work 8 hours non-stop than gave me a 30 min break and had to work 1 more hour... got home broke down in tears... I never did something that was so emotionally demanding and physically demanding... the experience traumatized me... just writing about it now it made me cry again... I don't see a way out of this anymore. but I'm screaming.
I WANT A JOB, BUT I DONT WANT TO BE EMOTIONALY SCARRED.
I WANT TO BE A RESPONSIBLE ADULT THAT CAN PROVIDE FOR HIMSELF.
I WANT TO STUDY, I CAN READ NOW.
I'M EXAUSTED OF TRYING TO GET OUT OF THIS BREAK THIS CYCLE.
(if the text doesn't make any sense its because I didn't proof read it, I don't have the energy anymore)
TLDR: GOT DIAGNOSED WITH 26, NEVER STUDIED. NOW I DON'T GET A NORMAL JOB JUST THE EMOTIONALY SCARRING ONES, DONT SEE A WAY OUT.
|
ADHD
|
I am 25 years old and the last 4-5 years have been a blur. Lots of good memories but I experienced a breakthrough when I was 21 in which I realized I had a lot of childhood ptsd from my parents and additional sexual abuse.
I feel like I just didn’t know what was going on inside me for years and years and then as an adult, I met my ex who was physically abused. He emotionally was extremely manipulative and we had a toxic relationship. I woke up to all of this thankfully,
without insurance and access to therapy.. I have done my best to dive into my own self and happiness. I just need help though.
Do any of you have resources or maybe online tools with more information?
I’m interested in finding practical methods for remembering and releasing trauma. I don’t remember things all the time but I feel them in my body all the time. I would like to have some resources with information on how people usually release their trauma and memory patterns. I had a manipulative, overbearing mother with MPD (this is what my family thinks)
And my dad left/got pushed away whatever, and I didn’t know anything about him until I was 21 and my mom opened that door for me to meet him.
He has another daughter and wife now and had been taking care of them for 12 years of my life. I have been trying to “unpack” but I really don’t know how to rid myself of all the feelings that are stored in my cells.
I feel bad for sharing so much of my story on here and not keeping it short. I thought maybe some background on my traumas could help people share any specific threads or books on abandonment, childhood issues and sexual abuse. I’m struggling a lot because of this pandemic too. Just overthinking it all and need to work on my mental sanity. Thank you so much
|
ptsd
|
So I just recently came to the conclusion that I am most likely on the autism spectrum after years of assuming I wasn't. What made it click for me was watching YouTubers and reading accounts of people with Asperger's/ASD and having them perfectly describe things I've felt my whole life but could never express. I also just learned what masking is and can remember so many times as a kid having to observe friends and family to figure out how I should act. What I'm struggling with is that I now feel (almost) certain I have Asperger's but when I ask friends and relatives who know me (one of whom is a clinical psychologist) they remain adament that I'm not on the spectrum. So did anyone else who self diagnosed struggle to validate themselves while having thoughts like: I know my brain best, but I also know my brain has led me astray so I can't trust it, but I can't trust other people's brains to understand how it feels to have my brain.
|
aspergers
|
I don't know where to start. I had a severely traumatic childhood filled with molestation and getting bullied. My mom was a narcissist and my parents split when I was two. Last year right around my bday in Oct, I learned that my ex of 15 years had been sexually coercing me the entire time. Don't want to get into the specifics but I had never heard of the term and believed it was all my fault. We had a very dysfunctional relationship and I basically repeated my childhood trauma. He was very controlling. I wasn't even allowed to vent to my friends about him. We went thru a nasty separation and divorce and I came back to Canada from the US bc I learned my father was terminally ill.
I have no friends, just therapists and shrinks. I don't know how to have a healthy relationship with anyone. Covid has made it worse and I can barely function. I feel pathetic even posting this. My therapists ( I have 2, one specifically for the sexual abuse ) are all gone on holidays and the helplines aren't helping me. My cat is the only reason I get out of bed in the morning. I have had her since she was a kitten. We flew back together and I refused to let her go in with cargo so bought a ticket so she and I could be together. It was an 14 hour travel day with layovers, so she is my everything.
|
ptsd
|
Gonna be rewatching it for the 10th time over the course of the next week or so!! The series is so good I must! If you've never seen it you definitely should holy crap, even if you're not really an anime person I'd really reccomend it! It's a bit bloody gorey but if you don't mind that stuff IT'S SO GOOD!! The plot, character development, world building, everything is just so perfect sdfgjsfgsdfgfg I love the show so much
I've been shoving my face with so much Attack on Titan content over the last few days I simply must watch it again despite the fact I have the entire thing basically memorized with how much I've seen it lmao
If anyone wants to talk about the show with me (in the comments, DMs scare me) please do!! Just nothing from S4 Part 2 since I haven't read the Manga <3
|
ADHD
|
For months now I've been dealing with this and this last month, things have gotten so worse both mentally and physically. New visible symptoms have shown up and it's making me worry greatly, but there's fuck-all I can do about it. I'm a poor early 20's college student living in a household that isn't very affluent, so they can't help foot the bill needed to stop this. I got with a non-profit and on the 8th, got with an eye doctor, who then told me I had very healthy eyes and that I just have dry eyes and to use OTC eye drops. It's been a few days and I've found that not only have the eye drops have done nothing for me, the symptoms have worsened (peek through my profile if you want to know exactly.) I'd hope one would reasonably assume and agree with me that it may not "just be dry eyes," but nobody agrees with me. One person in my house thinks that eye doctor's opinion is absolute, the end-all-be-all. I feel like I could be dying and he'd insist I'm fine though. I've had to learn the hard way multiple times that fact and yet I still continue turning to him and leaving feeling like my opinion is invalidated. I've went to the ER twice and they couldn't do anything for me because they never have the equipment. It's been a huge pain in the ass to get with a free primary care doctor because of their requirements and the timeframe. I called one and was told that the soonest appointment for a new patient would be the end of January. I feel I don't really have that time. By then, things may very well have gone to shit by then. It gets worse by the week, or even the day. It feels like I've been buried alive in a coffin slowly filling with sand and I'm being told on the phone that help is 4 days away. I'm desperate. I've cried more times this month than I have in years. All I just want is either for it to stop or at least to just have answers from anywhere except Google, have a second opinion from another doctor. My condition seems mysterious because it all matches the description of glaucoma, retinopathy or retinal detachment. Dry eyes don't cause these things, do they? I feel, as I've said in the title, alone in this plight. Household members are either non-understanding, unsympathetic, or unsure what to do with me. Even friends that do sympathize with me are unsure what to do with me. If my eyes do end up fully going to shit, it will affect my livelihood, because I work with computers and to do that, I need to be able to see. Also a lot of my social interactions are online and if my vision does go to shit, I won't be able to interact with my friends and it'll become lonely. I don't want to live in a future where I can't see. Because I can no longer stand to stare at my computer screen, I've missed several assignments. I can hardly distract myself anymore now without my eyes giving me reminders via visual anomalies that they're (probably) going to shit.
|
depression
|
my abuser was sentenced to 22 months in prison :/ this is less than the amount of time that i had to deal with him.
it was originally 45 months and they cut it in half for ‘good behaviour’. how does that even make sense after what he did to me?
22 months.
idk what to do
|
ptsd
|
Pocd, recently ive just gotten the i dont care kind of mindset with the ocd, ive heard this is good? If its not then please explain why its not.
|
OCD
|
Does anyone here use the pomodoro method? I’d like to use it, and I try to, because I find with my ADHD I can get too sucked in and not stop for water, food and to rest my eyes from my computer screen.
But my issue is, when I stop for the break (I try 45 min / 15 minutes) I find I always end up accidentally taking a way longer break than I should’ve because I get sucked into something else and when the ding goes off I tell myself I’ll go back in a minute, and forget about it for way too long.
Thoughts on this? Does this happen to anyone else? Advice?
Thanks.
|
ADHD
|
Okay, so you may or may not recognize me as the one who asked if I was actually valid for having ptsd since I only worked a small amount of time as an emt. Thank you for your support. For those of you who have had ptsd for a while, I would like a few pointers for my particular situation. (On mobile so my apologies) tl/dr at bottom. Thank you all!
My girlfriend had a seizure last week while I was at work, or we are all 99.99% sure it was a seizure since no one was there to witness it. I got a call from the university police saying she was at the hospital. When I got there, it was a hospital I had had some pretty tough clinicals in. That was the start where I began to have "intense recollection" as my therapist put it. I was no help either because my brain was in self-preservation mode to keep me from losing it in there...I felt horrible. On top of that, during the seizure, she managed to break her shoulder. Joint and humeral head.
This wouldn't normally be a big deal, but she needs surgery and I know I'm going to be really stressed during it. So there's that. But today was really bad. She decided to give candy to those who helped her out, but I didn't want to go. I didn't want to be at the building at all. We went in and she talked to a coworker who told her details she didn't remember. She started to tell me and I told her I didn't want to know. I asked a few times and she still told me...which I understand. It was traumatic for her too and she has a right to tell someone, especially her girlfriend. But these details were terrifying, like she didn't know who she was and she was scared and looked really rough.
The weird thing is that I was having a sort of reaction where my brain, even though I wasn't there, was acting as if I had seen it. It was a really fucked up imaginative scene, is the best way to describe it. It's almost like I could see her seizing and being alone and scared and not knowing what's going on. It's really getting to me. It's not like I don't want to take care of her, I do, and I will continue to, but it's getting to be a little much when I keep seeing the same thing every time I help her with her sling. I'm scared that the surgery is going to be the thing that sets me off and I can't afford for that to happen. I just want to be there and for some reason I'm not letting myself be there for her. I feel horrible.
I do have therapy in 2 weeks since I had to cancel for her mri consult. But until then, I was wondering if any of you have any idea on how I could keep this in check until I'm able to let it out appropriately since I can't really let it out for a hot while?
TL/DR: girlfriend's brain decided to do the electric slide and she was told terrifying details, which triggered me, but I have to be able to take care of her and my ptsd won't let me do that. How do I keep it in check so I can take care of her?
|
ptsd
|
Yo my parents are away. My parents are the only friends to this 16 year old girl who is me. Theyre rad but now i feel crippling loneliness.
Why do i not seem to have connected to the people at my new school? Im trying man ;(
Its been 3 weeks where is the pal i can have fun and laugh with. Summer vacation is in 3 weeks and i go to a "special" school 3 days a week
I dont want my summer vacation to be like last time. All alone. The only friends i had was my family. sad times
I didbt know whether to post this in teenagers, since you guys might understand a bit more.
Thanks for reading this.
I love you all.
|
aspergers
|
Hi everyone,
I've been realizing a trend. I am prescribed adderall. I do take it regularly and i normally take full doses during the week, but I do often take 2 or sometimes 3 days off, when things are not too stressful. I know its not recommended, but I do like those breaks at times. I did realize that after work in late afternoon/evening or when its time to wind down and I took adderall in the morning, I have this urge to go out, drink, have a good time, or just have some drinks at home and enjoy the night. Not necessarily a lot of alcohol, but just that desire to end the day going out or drinking some wine at home. However, on the days I don't take adderall at all, I feel that I don't care for it as much and woudl rather have some tea or just straight up water in the evening.
​
Does that happen to any of you guys? Now, I want to clarify, I'm not drinking all the days I take adderall, but if I do take adderall that day, I'm saying that I am more likely to think about drinking and/or enjoy it more those days.
|
ADHD
|
I made alot of friends this week on discord because someone invited me to play games with them. There were a ton of new people I talked to because it's a streamer's discord and new people and regulars pop in and out all the time. Other than the first time talking to them, I haven't had any problems talking and probably come off as a normal person. Does anyone else not have trouble talking to people in discord, but suck at talking to people in real life?
|
aspergers
|
How to get the motivation and the energy to get out of bed when you hate your job and can't quit for 3 more years? My long long terrible job that I hate and I leave there in pieces with a long lasting headache Sleep deprivation and back pain? . Is that what life is? That's all? A never ending misery? I have 45 years till retirement... That's gonna be a long 45 years. If I get the privilege to retire at all... I love how I've already started counting... I can't miss a day except for Christmas Easter and summer... I guess that's something but 9 months of misery and unproductiveness? I'm missing all life.
|
depression
|
Hey guys,
I just have the feeling that I just can't get out of the permanently bad mood. As if the world had conspired you.
I jump from sickness to sickness, because I can hardly or not at all reduce my stress, because there are so many stressors e.g. work, work colleagues, health, sleep and so on. Today I finally have my first day of vacation and what happens? Exactly, the heater breaks down and the part needs, if everything goes well, at least 3-4 days. I would never commit suicide, so really. But at the moment I'm just permanently fucked up, would like to cry, but that's not possible either. I go from shit to shit and there is no improvement is in sight. I only ever see the bad and don't enjoy anything anymore. Every twinge could be a fatal disease, many situations are just overwhelming and except for my sweet little family, computers, space and astronomy everything just fucks me off. I have the feeling that I can't get out of this horrible, pessimistic and painful mood.
Of course I am open for tips and advice.
Thanks for listening, stay healthy and have a great week.
|
depression
|
Posting this here too, hope that's okay.
\----
I'm having a tough time. It's not that I *want* to die, I just don't want to do this\* anymore.
\*picture me gesturing vaguely around at myself, my life, the world, being in it, and everything else.
You don't have to read all of the rest, but if you're reading this and have felt this way before, please tell me what kept you going.
\---
In high school I was *smart.* I took AP classes and excelled, I was really good at school.
After I graduated high school I went off to college, where I studied theater for three and half years before I dropped out. I was failing classes - which I'd never done before - because I was oversleeping and missing classes. It wasn't even that my grades were bad, I was failing due to attendance requirements. I couldn't afford the tuition, and I felt that I couldn't survive in the world of professional acting. I felt like I'd wasted years and thousands of dollars. I felt like an idiot for thinking I could ever become an actor. I also began to suspect that I had ADHD.
I decided to switch to community college for the more affordable tuition, and to study IT, another area I've always loved. I made it through three more semesters before I burnt out again. I still couldn't wake up on time for class, and I *really* couldn't keep up working part time and going to school full time. The longer I did both the more I fell into debt, and I'd already been at it for about five years.
I decided to start working full time. I had to pay my bills. But I still couldn't reduce my debt working full time, because I couldn't get a job that would pay me enough without a degree, and I couldn't get a degree while working, and I couldn't pay my bills without working, but I also can't make enough money to pay off my debt by working without a job that requires a degree.
I began to work full time as a night baker. I *really* liked that job, I worked with a team I loved, I got to make beautiful pastries and bread from scratch, I didn't have to talk to customers, and it paid more than any of my prior jobs. It wasn't an easy job though, and I sacrificed my body and my sleep and put everything I had into being amazing at my job - but I still couldn't wake up to my alarm. I'd stay up for two-three days at a time for fear of oversleeping on a work night.
I started having panic attacks, which lead me to finally getting a primary care doctor. I told her everything, and she diagnosed me with ADHD and started me on Adderall. Folks, I was myself again, at *last*. I was suddenly capable showing the world the person I am inside my head. It helped me wake up if I could get to it in the morning, but I still couldn't wake up consistently for work.
In May I was fired from my job (again) for oversleeping (again). A week or two later I got the results back from a sleep study, and found out that I have sleep apnea, which is probably why I can't wake up to alarm clocks and haven't had a restful night of sleep since I was a child. Turns out I'm not broken! - Well I mean, I kind of am, but it's fixable!
I didn't have a job, and I couldn't see a way to get back into school, but I did have a sister a few states away who invited me to move in with her, and parents who paid for my moving expenses so I could get out of the town I'd been stuck in since I moved there for college nearly eight years ago. So I moved, and found another job as a night baker.
The only downside of moving was having to find a new doctor. I still am working on that, but I couldn't continue getting my Adderall prescription, and have been unmedicated since June.
So, night after night, I went in to this new job - it was still night baking, but by myself all night, where most of my work was to put the pre-made stuff into an oven and make sure it didn't burn. It paid slightly less than my previous job - so still not enough to pay off my debt, and my rent increased in the move, so I couldn't even pay my bills anymore either. I hated the monotony of it, the lack of any meaningful work or connection, I hated how it made me too tired to look for a better job in my off time, and I hated that the hours kept me from forming a social life in this new city. I began to fantasize about walking out mid-shift and never coming back. I didn't want to let anyone there down, or to be a source of stress to my managers, so I quit.
Last week I finally had a doctor's appointment to get set up as a new patient. It felt like I had to start all over again, explaining my many failures, mistakes, and regrets. Trying to explain that I'd been through treatment for depression and anxiety, and that they were band-aids that didn't help, because the source of my anxiety and depression is my ADHD and sleep apnea.
They have to get my records from my previous doctor before they can begin prescribing Adderall or treating my sleep apnea.
Fine, of course, I understand.
Would I like an anti-anxiety medication in the meantime?
I guess so, I don't want to have panic attacks again and I'm breaking down sobbing in the doctor's office so maybe it'll help?
Folks, it hasn't helped.
I can't get anything done, I'm a constant drain of money for my sister and parents who have kept me from starving or becoming homeless. I haven't found a new job yet, and even if do, the thought of going into work makes me want to break down crying again. Nothing seems to bring me any joy or motivation. I feel like I've been spinning my wheels for eight years, and every time I start to get traction I get shoved back again. I just don't want to do this anymore. I can't find a purpose. I feel like all I do is disappoint the people who love me, and I don't feel like I'm contributing anything to the world by being here. I've become increasingly convinced that I am inherently replaceable and unnecessary.
I know I need to get therapy, but I also can't afford it. I can't afford anything until/unless I work.
So, anyone need a neurotic human disaster with extensive education but no degree to do IT in Orlando, FL? Are you also willing to pay me enough to break out of my eternal spiral into debt? No? Understood.
I've begun to wish that I were dying so I'd have an appropriate excuse to do nothing, and to know that this will be over soon.
It's not that I *want* to die. I just don't want to do this anymore.
|
ADHD
|
My ocd is mainly about fear of hurting myself or my loved ones. Is it just intrusive thoughts or will i ever act on these thoughts ?
|
OCD
|
I am having trouble sleeping due to fear and was wondering if anyone else does the same?
|
ptsd
|
I feel really silly posting this. But I’ve been doing so well in recovery that I’m confused. I saw A Star is Born for the first time last night. What a viscerally beautiful movie. I am now solidly a Lady Gaga fan and I’ve always been a fan of Bradley Coopers work. I typically watch everything with Bradley Coopers involvement so I couldn’t remember why I hadn’t seen the film yet. I remembered that I avoided watching it when it came out, but I couldn’t remember why that was. So my partner wanted to watch it last night and we couldn’t find anything else. I mean, why not? We both love Bradley Cooper right? What could go wrong?
Literally everything apparently. I’m really confused about what I am experiencing at the moment. I know this was fiction. But I’m trembling and am immensely depressed. What I’m experiencing right now does not make any sense to me. Can someone explain?
|
ptsd
|
Anyone else feel super low for weeks like 0 energy& the thought of cleaning just makes you want to crawl under a rock then all of sudden one day you get a burst of energy where you spend lime 6 hours cleaning. That's me today currently in the process of deep cleaning my bedroom and moving everything around 😴😴
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depression
|
My dad treated me so poorly growing up, mainly due to his inappropriate sexual behaviour, that I’ve developed PTSD from my childhood.
We’ve gone no contact with him, but we still live in the same town. I’m so afraid of running into him that I literally never go to the shops (my husband does it) and I’m anxious whenever I leave the house like when I have to take the kids to school.
We want to move to a neighbouring town but can’t for the next 6 months. Would love some tips on how to cope with the daily fear of seeing him. He’s been told to stay away from me but if he saw me in the shops he would definitely approach me.
Does anyone have any strategies that might work to reduce my fear?
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ptsd
|
I went to the bathroom this morning and I saw that my brother before me didn’t flush the toilet all the way so there was a piece of toilet paper left inside. When I went pee, I don’t know if toilet water touched my mouth because of splash back or if I was psyching myself out. I felt something on my lips but I don’t think it can splash that high. I’m just freaking out.
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OCD
|
I have asked her before, the conversations are very murky i can’t remember them well but I did ask for a therapist maybe twice.
Both times she said yes, comforted me (always said everyone is going through hardships nowadays) and then I felt better but then my depression would always come back worse. And there was no therapist in sight. I didn’t wanna pester her though.
Especially this year where i promised myself i would be dead before my birthday in june.
She has anxiety and takes meds and i wonder if she actually forgot i asked or doesn’t want to believe it. She also told me “how do you know a therapist will help you” maybe she has bad experiences with them? Or is just trying to warn me before i get disappointed.
I wrote a paragraph asking her for a therapist but i’m not sure if i should send it.
My dad is a lost cause i do not want to ask him for a therapist.
I thought i could be patient and wait until i was old enough to afford my own but I could be dead by then (i’m so dramatic lol probably not)
It seems a bit rude because in the paragraph i sorta accuse her and i dont really want to send it.
Any help will be appreciated!!
Sorry for my grammar i’m on mobile so it a bit awkward to type.
|
depression
|
I've always wanted to start dating and all, but there's a lot of roadblocks to go through especially with our unique situation.
Anyone here in any relationships and if so, what are some tricks or advice can you give us single folks if or when we decide to pursue a relationship
|
aspergers
|
I've been experiencing depression, suicidal thoughts and ADHD since I was about 14 and I'm now 18, I used to self harm by cutting my wrist but I haven't in about 2 years (not because anything got better, I just stopped for some reason).
Whenever it gets really tough, I remind myself that I'm staying alive and working hard for him. I always say I won't off myself cause he would never understand why I disappeared and I couldn't do that to him, my family would eventually get over it.
But now he's gone and I don't know how to handle this, it's been days and the urges to end it all every time I'm alone are only getting stronger. Any advice?
|
depression
|
People suck. They are too competitive to get along with.
|
aspergers
|
Anyone else bored like me? If so please hit me up we could chat about having OCD or the things that have worked for us or anything. Im just really bored. I dont have any friends and id like to make some. OCD has taken up so much space in my life. I finally got diagnosed and medicated for it. Its helped so much. But now i realize i have space where i didnt before id like to fill that space with a friend. Anyway hit me up if you are bored like me. Also check out Nathan Peterson on youtube he discusses all things OCD and hes helped me a little maybe he could help you too.
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OCD
|
i just moved into my apartment, and i’m so grateful and happy to be here and i wanted a balcony so bad. i finally got one, but now that i’m here, i’m alone (my boyfriend and friend were supposed to move in with me but had to go home for a few things many many miles away and will be moving in in a month) and i’m feeling very vulnerable. i keep having intruding thoughts about jumping off of the balcony and hanging off of the edge of the balcony (we’re 28 stories up). i’m frustrated because i haven’t had intrusive thoughts like this in years and it is very overwhelming for me to think about it. i’m not going to do anything, and like i said i’m happy to be here, but i need some help and tips on how to stop ruminating over these scary and panicked thoughts. thanks
|
OCD
|
Situation: I went to visit friends and my best friend's mom also had a few friends there. 8 people total. It was fine for the most part, but did make me feel self conscious and stumble over my words. That's piece one. We were outside eating dinner for 4th of July and the neighbors had really loud music playing. Then they started shooting off loud firecrackers. Then the kids turned on a karaoke machine and started screaming and doing general annoying kid things, loudly . That, plus the general talk around the table made it impossible for me to distinguish any noises. I know this is sensory overload and my best friend recognized it (everyone knows about my difficulties) and we went back inside to escape the noises. I relaxed a bit, but this was piece 2. We started playing board games (which is my favorite special interest!!) And I was having fun until my other friend started playing music on her phone. I was having trouble hearing and concentrating and I was already tired. Piece 3. Then, we went to bed and the neighbors from before were still out until after 2:30 in the morning talking loudly. I had to put in earbuds and music to sleep. Piece 4. And finally, I had to make the 4h drive home. Driving makes me so anxious and I hate it but there's no train or anything so I didn't have a choice. Piece 5. When I finally got home, I parked, went to my couch and just bawled my eyes out. I felt so overwhelmed and I just couldn't handle more... Is there a word for this? Is this a meltdown? Burnout? Just general stress?
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aspergers
|
So basically I was looking at pictures of hickeys because I sort of thought about getting/giving one to the girl I like. It was all okay until I saw this one picture if this guy with large bumps on his neck bigger than quarters with lip marks. I don't know if it's real but it still looked disgusting and I can't even see the appeal of hickeys anymore. It's literally a bruise on your neck. I can't stand skin marks at all. My dad used to squeeze the pimples on my face and now I have scars from that. That makes me angry because I knew that would happen but he assured me it wouldn't.
Also I'm not sure if this is nsfw but I am uncomfortable about being circumcised. I saw my baby brother and just thought about how painful that must've been and how the color of the top fades through the years. It happened when I was a baby but it still makes me uncomfortable.
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OCD
|
I finally told a good friend about my trauma today. I was having one of those really bad days where its really hard to function because you can’t stop thinking about the trauma. I thought telling her would be freeing, since she is extremely supportive, but it just made me feel a ton of guilt. Has this happened to anyone else?
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ptsd
|
Hi yall. I hope this is allowed.
I'm not yet diagnosed but I've taken a few screening tests from various places online and have decided to find a psychiatrist here in Korea if I can. I've felt for, i guess decades now, that something is just wrong with me. I always forget things minutes or seconds after I place them somewhere, or need to do them, or mentioned it to someone. I can't keep a to-do list, a schedule, a routine for the life of me. Continuing to try and fail has depressed me since i was teen and has only gotten worse into adulthood and the stakes are higher and only mine to bear really. But with a lot of the stigma around ADD/ADHD i've always brushed it off as me being lazy and undisciplined no matter how much my circumstances made me hate myself. These habits have made me MISERABLE. I want to keep my spaces clean and i get it done for maybe a week before it devolves into a pig-sty. I'm always overwhelmed by things i WANT to do let alone things I need to do... I've already forgotten the next sentence I wanted to write...
The last straw was me forgetting to turn on a certain software in my computer when I was editing a video. My husband told me the FCP makes the computer too hot and hes told me all week before this point not to forget to turn on the fan mod. He told me aGAIN and in my head I said "SMCFan SMCFan SMCFan SMCFan SMCFan" and by the time I even fucking logged into the computer i forgot and he had to remind me AGAIN. Shit like this happens all the time and it's embarassing because i look like i just don't care or don't want to put the effort into things like drinking water, vacuuming, cleaning my sink drain etc...
Anyway, the point of this was to ask after what point, or what supposed symptom did you experience that led you to finally decide to get a screening?
If you;re open to it, i'd love to see what time period and cycle or patterns led you to decide as well.
​
Thanks in advance.
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ADHD
|
I’m on 20mg of adderall and it seems like when I take it it works great for the first week or so but loses effectiveness after about a week and a half. If I skip a day and take it the next it works great again. I will say it’s a bit concerning considering when I was on it 5 years ago it worked every day for months on end. Anyone have a similar experience? I’m reluctant to say I need to up my dose since, again, it works fine after taking a day off but I don’t know.
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ADHD
|
I am worthless. I offer nothing of value. I am failing all of my classes, I retain no information, and in HS, my grades were just as shaky, but there was a higher curve so I was able to pull it off. I have been singing, drawing/painting since a very young age. I have progressed past my middle school drawings but I have plateaued. I have tried drawing books, classes, reference pictures, classes outside of school. I was in chorus and sang everyday, watched video tutorials, downloaded apps to check my pitch. I used to LOVE singing/art. I cannot enjoy it anymore because I am bad at it. In an objective sense. I'm just not good at either of them. I tried a bunch of hobbies out, for not as long, with essentially, the same result. Any sport I have tried, casually or on a team has not gone well. I barely made it on the volleyball team, being told that I was going to be the manager because I was so bad they couldn't have me in the games (verbatim all 3 of the coaches words). I have never been recognized for a talent, never won an award, other than participation ones just for doing the bare minimum. showing up. I'm not smart. I don't do well in school, no matter how hard I study, or what method I try. I've tried writing, typing and recording my notes. I've even tried not taking notes. Extra help. youtube videos. I absorb NOTHING. it is so frustrating to be so aware of the fact that I am literally fucking stupid but not being able to do anything about it. I try to play video games, of all kinds. I come in last all the time. all the games I enjoy(ed) I was so horrible at, my friends teased me. Joking about me is fine, but sometimes I just really really want to be good and show my friends that im a useful asset to the team. sports or videogames im chosen last for teams. never even a choice when someone needs help, and just viewed as really nice so you cant be too mean to them over how bad they are. I cant enjoy anything anymore. I go in with an open mind and try and try and try. I keep being told to never give up, so I haven't and try not to, but why can't I give up yet, I keep trying, and yet, nothing. It hurts me so much to not be able to enjoy anything because i cant do it correctly. Im skilless talentless, and useless. it makes me so fucking angry. where is the thing that im good at that i can enjoy. nothing can make me feel better. everyone keeps telling me to try, but im trying my hardest, trying so many different methods and shit. and yet i have nothing.
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depression
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It’s like I know what I should do, but I keep thinking of all the problems that could come with the “solution” and that distracts me from actually making things better for myself. Executive dysfunction in general is just horrible for me.
I also don’t have a license due to driving anxiety and lack of money for a car.
I’m so miserable, depressed, and feeling like a worthless piece of shit.
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ADHD
|
Music has been an outlet for most of my life, but since my experiences, it has become more of a reminder. A certain song can teleport me right back to an event.
Zombie, by either the cranberries or bad wolves (especially bad wolves), truly bothers me. Are there songs that bother you? Is this normal?
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ptsd
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At school I act annoying at home I do not act remotely similar to the way I do at school. I feel like it’s from over stimulation but I don’t know because I start talking like a lot and I just cannot control it.
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aspergers
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I have both OCD and anxiety so I am unsure of what to do. My ocd symptoms are mild and mainly pure O with almost no physical compulsions. I’m seeking a long term therapist, and someone I could vent about other things beside OCD so I’m unsure if OCD therapists also listen about general anxiety things..
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OCD
|
Life is boring without problems 😁
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/o052uc)
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OCD
|
2 years ago during a prolonged bpd/manic depressive episode I made some choices that equivocated to me taking a sledge hammer to my life. I lost my job and my family won't see me anymore. I won't excuse what I did cause I know it eas wrong. But now I just feel so alone I have always been fairly quiet and struggled with social conneciton but I had a few friends at work and some family I loved deeply. Its been 2 years and I have no clue how to pick myself back up. I have one friend left but even she is getting more distant and I don't know why. I miss my family so much, and they won't even let me try and reach out to them. Everything just feels numb an dull. I loose track of time because everyday feels the same. I don't know what's left for me. If I'm honest I from about age 12 i grew up genuinely believing I wouldn't make it past 20. I have fought and now I'm turning 25 in a few days but the thoughts that I'm alone and have no value are feeling stronger and more valid. I'm scared that after all that fighting, I can't do it any more.
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depression
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(16f)
i try and express my emotions through talking on here, or listening to music, or drawing or writing or playing piano, but nothing ever fills that void. theres always this insatiable itch that...its never enough. like theres a box inside me that is locked and i dont have the key to it, but in that box is all my guilt and lies that i will never share with anyone. when i talk to people about my depression i tiptoe around anything that is inside that box, because it would make them hate me and truthully, i dont even know what is in that box.
does this make sense? i dont know how to articulate this...
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depression
|
I was checking hangouts..I found out he unblocked me..he read my messages. It was exactly a month before my birthday he was online. Right before my dad banned him from talking to me he tried calling me 3 times to talk to me. I found..very devastating messages when I read it again..I read his old messages when I'm upset..its an unhealthy coping skill I do to hurt myself without actually touching my skin. He said in one of the messages "don't say no or I will be sad" I said "okay I wont" .. we had very sexual messages at this time. I know what that meant. I fucking know..god all the memories are flooding back. I basically decided to take this into my own hands. I texted him..basically "I know you tried to protect me in the end..but now I realized all the fucked up things you did to me when I was younger. Dont you dare try to contact me again. Not even when I'm 18."
I feel like fucking crying dude.s I remember all the horrible things he did to me
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ptsd
|
I dunno why, but I just feel like that's what I deserve. I don't want to exist in other people's eyes anymore, I don't want to be a person anymore. Nothing feels...real, anymore and everything gives me anxiety. I'm broken and the person I used to be is long gone. I don't want to put that on my friends and family, I just want to dissappear.
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ptsd
|
Hey guys, I am having a crazy hard time right now. I don’t know what’s causing it, I’ve been off my meds for about 2.5 months now, I was fine but not so much anymore and I am planning on making an appointment with my doctor to get back on them or a different one. But holy cow. The amount of anxiety I am currently having is crazy. I can’t even grasp if I’ve even been having intrusive thoughts or not. I can’t sleep, my heart rate is climbing up to 118-98 bpm all day everyday for the last 2 days, I’m shaking, I’m smoking double than I usually would and I don’t know what to do. It feels as though I’m going crazy, it’s as though every thought I have somehow causes anxiety, I get anxious when I eat food, I get anxious when I play video games, I get anxious when I think about my fiancée stuff I’d normally think about seems to put me in a anxious rollercoaster.
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OCD
|
hi! i suffer from pure O, mainly harm and relationship ocd. recently, i’ve been feeling extremely “dirty”, if that makes sense. it doesn’t matter what i do, it’s just there. i feel the need to wash myself multiple times a day. i wanted to know if this is my ocd or if it’s just a me thing, because this brings me no anxiety. i feel uncomfortable, but not constantly anxious.
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OCD
|
So I have been battling with pretty bad OCD recently. Lately, it’s gotten a lot better. I’m busy so I’m focused on other things, distracting me from my OCD. I don’t get panic and anxiety anymore but my obsessions in my head and the feeling of impending doom and just overall “weird” is still there. I’m on Zoloft 100mg for about 3.5 months or so now. Can anyone relate? And any tips on how to get rid of it?
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OCD
|
i hate my ocd its so frustrating whenever i wanna do smthing fun a flood of intrusive thoughts come my way and prevent me from doing it i hate it
|
OCD
|
I feel like I can't just listen to people. I always have to deconstruct everything they are saying. While this is sometimes useful (especially when talking about deeper subjects), I can't turn it off. It gets truly ridiculous when there isn't anything wrong with the content of their message, so my brain decides to critique things like word choice or grammar, like I'm an editor or something. I don't know what to do about this.
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aspergers
|
Hello all, new to this Reddit thing so I hope I’m in the right place and that this is okay… I wouldn’t feel comfortable asking for help with this anywhere else given my embarrassment regarding my OCD and fear of judgement, so here we go:
I am currently attending university. Yesterday my suitemate left for the holidays and didn’t do any cleaning when she said she would when we have two new suitemates moving in before she gets back next month, which consequently means I have to do it all or we get in trouble with housing (they don’t distinguish who did or did not do what, so it makes me responsible).
I hadn’t showered in a few days because showering triggers my OCD most and I decided to “reward” myself for finishing finals by loafing around a bit. Also, because of my OCD I don’t clean things unless I already “feel dirty” because doing a “dirty” task while feeling clean means having to do my compulsions, starting with showering… This becomes such an arduous task that it physically exhausts me, so I cope by planning my showers around tasks that need doing in a strategic way. Fortunately, I thought, this all made it the perfect time to clean up what she left behind and then shower so I could get on with the rest of my break.
I decided to try to roll up her full-sized tatami mat that she had left in one of the vacant rooms first. Leaving it out was not an option because of the housing problem I already mentioned, and our rooms lock themselves so I couldn’t just put it into her room for her to deal with when she got back (plus she’s getting a roommate so that would suck for the new girl to maneuver around).
Picture it like trying to roll up a giant sleeping bag and squeeze it back into its holder… I’ve never been good at that on a regular scale, let alone a full-sized mattress scale. It was physically exhausting to try and do, and then it wasn’t easily sliding into its fabric holder. I started panicking thinking if I gave up I wouldn’t have the strength to try it again (and needed to shower after), so I gave it my all and worked for probably about an hour until it was packed and in a communal cubbord.
In my panic and plying I didn’t notice that I scraped/peeled off the first few layers of skin on my fingers while wedging the tatami mat into the holder.
So now here I am, bandaged, gross from not showering and then sweating while wrestling the mat, and I’m desperate to shower—except two fingers on either hand are still bleeding and extremely painful. Even just washing my hands after the event stung incredibly. How am I supposed to take a full shower (including wash my hair) like this?
At first I convinced myself to calm down and shower and clean when they stopped bleeding, but they haven’t scabbed (because I’m anemic probably) and I feel horrifically disgusting… plus I’m running out of dishes and need to run errands but can NOT leave the apartment feeling or looking as I do.
I really want and need to know what I can do… ANTHING helpful would be so very much appreciated—and *please* no judgment on the showers bit leading up to the event. Any support would be welcome too.
|
OCD
|
Does anyone else here have ocd comorbid with Tourettes? I find that my ocd can at times be connected to my TS and I'd like to know if anyone else feels the same way here? xx
|
OCD
|
(Note: this isn’t reassurance, just a question on how to get better with this)
Hello, I’ve been struggling with what I believe to be POCD for a while now. It has pretty much become a normal part of my life now, which although hurts, is something I have definitely gotten used to.
I’ve been doing ERP and it has actually quite helped, yesterday I felt pretty good aside from some things but something made me a little, nervous
(Again, this isn’t reassurance)
I was with my sister and I felt this, odd weird feeling in my stomach, as soon as that happened my heart started to pound, can’t tell if it was nervousness or not. I don’t really know how to describe it but my brain almost immediately went to “you are attracted to her, aren’t you?”
I cant tell if this is false attraction or this feeling of “awww she’s cute” or none of the above, maybe it’s just me being nervous or maybe it’s just me being straight up attracted. it’s genuinely hard to tell what this feeling but one things for sure is i don’t like it
Any kind of help on what this could be and how to stop it (if that makes sense)? Sorry I’m not the best at explaining this kind of stuff, but any kind of help works here.
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OCD
|
I’m relatively high-functioning and can still force myself to do things even though it feels like hell on the inside. Taking public transport and being forced to sit beside men. Still doing work while having flashbacks and intrusive thoughts running in the background. Keeping up pretences all day, just to cry at night. Not screaming and crying and throwing up in response to triggers, but feeling awful and freaking out and on the verge of tears and dissociating instead. Being able to have sex but crying and dissociating during it instead. Having nightmares but not waking up crying.
I feel like a fake for being functional. I’m so exhausted that I’d rather not be functional, but I still am and it feels like I can’t stop, and it feels as if my PTSD isn’t real or that my trauma isn’t intense enough (which means I’m overreacting on all my other symptoms), or that I’m just faking it all. That my trauma isn’t valid. That my trauma isn’t severe. That I’m okay when I don’t feel okay. That I’m not grateful enough.
It just feels terrible and I wonder if anyone else feels the same.
|
ptsd
|
hi im Syy and i feel empty like void of emotion i 100 percent believe my mother dont love me or anyone for that matter i feel like im constantly holding back tears during the summer i was texting this girl she was bot a model but she had a great personality loved marvel movies she shipped greys anatomy characters but i asked her out in a joking manner to spare my feelings i was declined im a freshman and im 5'1 im not ugly but im not taken seriously so i helped my friend date her and she accepted at the time i didnt think it hurt but i have to see them walk down the halls all lovey dovey she walks past me and i get a whiff of her scent and its hard to forget i smell it a random times when im laying down when i leave school on the bus i make eye contact but it just hurts im african american my mom dont belive in depression and blames it on me not leaving home im confused and feel lonley (forgive my spelling its dark in my room)
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depression
|
I am someone who tends to speak their mind. If I'm with my friend and I am happy and feeling grateful that I have this connection, I will tell the friend. Which I guess is a thing that neurotypicals don't do. Last night I told her that she was my favourite person, which is true, and she was like 'omg you're so affectionate, you're the most affectionate person in my life'... Should I not have said that? Was it a bit out there? I mean, it seemed to have made her happy, which is great, but her reaction made it seem as though people don't usually talk like that. I'm not sure whether or not I'm affectionate. I guess it depends on who you're asking. I'm one of those autists who can't handle physical touch when I'm in a bad mood, but when I'm in a good mood or intoxicated I tend to like hugging my friends. Maybe if they only see the happier, touch-y side of me then they assume that I'm super affectionate. Idk. Would any of you characterize yourselves as affectionate?
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aspergers
|
I feel bad because I fear some fish might strangle on it or something. How can I convince myself that it’s nothing to stress about?
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OCD
|
My OCD is the worst when dealing with authority figures. I get severe paranoia and being questioned at all induces massive guilt and fear and paralyzes me. Right now I need to deal with government benefit stuff because I've been off work due to long haul Covid, but I'm struggling with paralysis in dealing with reapplying for the benefits. Does anyone have any advice for handling this kind of fear or supporting yourself to do the thing when all you want to do is run as far away from the thing as you can because you're terrified?
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OCD
|
I went to the psychiatry I always go to today! I'm tired, but I've done the tasks I really need!
I was able to talk to the doctor about the problem! Well, I went to bed early and got up early!
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OCD
|
For instance, reading about the "adhd tax" when it comes to buying food. I always forget about veggies and they rot. Now I a) go ahead and buy prepackaged and b) put stuff where I can see it, or I write reminders on a white board in my kitchen. Now stuff is way more likely to end up on my plate! What tips and tricks do you guys like?
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ADHD
|
I stayed home sick from work today. My ocd is telling me I'm faking it and I can't get away from the guilt and overthinking. I usually deal with harm ocd so this is a new theme for me. Any advice would be much appreciated!
|
OCD
|
OCD last night told me to stop functioning and moving any part of my body because that is "selfish."
Sounds stupid, right? My mind still bought it, along with a lot of anxiety that barely let me sleep. It felt like I died at that moment.
Now that it's gone, it's telling me all my happy emotions are my obsessions and the intrusive thoughts are my real feelings. Absolute nonsense, and yet my brain just bought that too.
I was almost crying... I mean how could OCD tell me my whole existence is a lie? I wasn't genuinely impressed by anything? My attraction to girls was fake? My happiness was a lie? Damn... I know that's not true. None of it is. Like other men I just dream to fulfill my dream (of becoming an artist), finding a girlfriend, marrying her, having kids and maybe help with the small family business. But OCD... just won't let me believe I can have any of that. A few weeks ago I started drinking green tea and ate some dark chocolate believing they would reduce my stress and increase my serotonin levels respectively. Nothing of that happened, instead my OCD has spiraled almost completely out of control. I had a very bizarre thought about a type of sexuality that was completely wrong and I was sure, and yet I could not get it out of my head. The pain of knowing you are right and yet your mind is forcing these thoughts on me feels like I am a robot being controlled by two different, rival operators. I still managed to binge watch an anime of 24 episodes in 2 days, and while I loved it, my concentration was jarred to the point that many a times I couldn't feel a thing or enjoy it. And now, I can barely watch a single episode of an anime I like. I am really liking it, but OCD makes me scared of having a new thought that would ruin the fun or simply distract me during the viewing.
I was very happy this evening when I decided to stop green tea (already gave up on dark chocolate) learning it has caffeine which caused my OCD to spike last year too when I was tricked into drinking expired, frozen coffee. I even lost control of my mouth in front of my parents, and was even scared of myself. As I type this, I slightly feel relieved, but I know what comes as a full-fledged intrusive thought at first settles down into a more intrusive sentence instead. I battled with HOCD for months and finally got control over it. I battled POCD for only one day when I was watching a sad anime film about a little girl (God, I felt like hitting myself hard for even having such thoughts, though now I realize I wasn't in control), and now... just ANY kind of intrusive thought is scary to my head, whether or not it has any sense or logic to it. I mean POCD and HOCD were very hard to understand initially because they're related to less-talked about topics, but this... where I am just scared of having any sort of intrusive thought... is making me feel my days are numbered. I recently was infected and tested negative for the virus. What for? This stupid OCD to suck up all the serotonin and put me into a state of uselessness? The realization that I have only wasted my time even though I know I tried my best not to, is killing me real bad. My head's nerves are hurting and I feel like wearing a crown of thorns on my head. This is too much!
I am sorry for excessive venting/ranting, but a part of my mind, OCD mind, is also telling me I am going to trigger a lot of you readers' anxieties by giving your brains new ideas. I know the thought that just distressed me a few minutes ago is starting to fade and I realize my attraction to girls (my heterosexuality) is genetic and has always been genuine, but that OCD makes me have opposite thoughts makes my life invalidated. It has always made me feel I have faked emotions and just adapted to the environment, like crying when someone dies or cheering for a movie character. There's often this voice that asks me "Did I just fake it or not?" That makes the feeling of romantic attraction the only one I have never faked, as it came naturally to me. But OCD attacking even that now... and telling me to die as a solution all the time, makes me feel maybe I am a sinner and don't deserve a happy life. Sorry for making it so long again.
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OCD
|
Does any of you have this? I know there is a higher chance of people having this in our community then NT's. I myself see sounds in shapes and colors and remember things by these shapes and colors. So a whole conversation can be brought down to one shape in a specific color which has all the information about that conversation. The sound, the words, the smells and everything else. I was really wondering how everyone remembers things and if there are similarities? Also is it possible to have an autistic person with aphantasia given the fact were mostly visually oriented? What are your thoughts?
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aspergers
|
I tried to look up this phenomenon but I couldn't find anyone that experiences it in the same way that I do, so I'm wondering if anyone else has this...
I was badly bullied in school, mostly verbally. Whenever I have to walk past anyone resembling the bullies (people of a similar age range and gender to them) I get very nervous as I am anticipating that they will verbally abuse me. I start reassuring myself in my head that those people don't even know me, and that's in the past now, so they won't abuse me. I hear their muffled conversation, and my mind immediately interprets the sound as them calling me the name my bullies used to bully me with.
I start to replay the sound over and over in my head until my head hurts, trying to figure out if they really said that or if I got it wrong. Logically, I know that they did not say that, otherwise I would have understood it the first time. When this happens my self-confidence and mood plummet. It's like I'm being bullied all over again, it feels so real, but it can't be...
To be clear, I don't hear voices in my head, I hear distant voices of real people but I interpret the voices as them verbally abusing me.
Is this PTSD? Or a normal OCD thing? Does anyone know what I'm talking about
|
OCD
|
Nothing feels the same anymore.. I spend so much time just wrapped up in my head. I feel really alone and wish that shit didn’t have to be this difficult. I’ve gone through hell most of my life and I never could of fathomed going through something just as bad. Will things get better? I don’t even keep going because I want to it’s just like I’m doing it because why not?
|
OCD
|
Hello everyone!
I’ve posted several times about my struggle with what I believe to be OCD symptoms. I’m happy to say that tomorrow I’m going to a psychiatrist. I was referred to her by my doctor after she learned about my struggle with depression/anxiety symptoms.
While I’m there, I’m planning on bringing up my OCD symptoms, and I’m hoping to finally get answers on whether I actually do have OCD or if it’s just anxiety.
I’ll probably update this afterward, but I just felt like sharing!
|
OCD
|
It’s such great brain training that not only lets me observe my thought patterns from the passenger seat but it also helped to teach me not to engage with every thought that comes into my mind. The whole process of meditation is basically getting distracted by a thought and gently returning your attention to a home base (typically the breath) Its been a life changer in regards to being able to karate chop intrusive thoughts away by not engaging with them.
Stay safe ya’ll.
|
OCD
|
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